#the work burnout is definitely settling in now

[teddybeartoji]

almost had a teeny weeny little breakdown BECAUSE i have to take two busses to work and both of them were late 😐😐 and lmao i'm not even worried about being late it's just that now there's so many more people on the bus I HAVE ANXIETYY LET ME OUT

[fountainpenguin]

"I'm not the kind of girl to get messed up with you- Hello! ... You're all right, but I'm here, darling, to enjoy the party..." (x)

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New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 31 - “Flame (Etho, Skizz, Pearl)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

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Scar files a microaggression complaint with the HALO team. Pearl helps Scott settle in while he recovers from glitchy code. They have a spat that's not about a sticker.

Meanwhile, SnifferMyFeet and Etho separate their souls… and start an honest talk about Sniff's identity as Sniff, not Joel. It was needed. It's for the best.

(First 900 words under the cut)

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Etho - Fox

Status: Resting

Self-taught programmer, full-time hero

💙  💙  💙

He gets it now.

It's like ice in your water. It's like marshmallows in your cocoa. It's like wind beneath your wings. The final week before he's due back in Between (reluctantly, but definitely due), Etho flops on his bed and sprawls his arms to either side. Is he giddy? He doesn't mean to be, but this feels…

… Oh, it's a game-changer. Which is exactly what he texts Cleo after scooping up his admin panel. They won't see it if they've left their private server, and since Session 2 of Dog's Life could be starting any day now, there's no telling how long that may take.

Etho: hey so Etho: remember after limlife 4 or 5 when we talked about burnout?

Grocery shopping. For a family dinner- he and Cleo both made one (like a peace offering) in a way that wasn't really flirty married life roleplay, but more like… regular, everyday person roleplay. Did all their shopping together so they wouldn't cook the same thing. Call it 'date night' if you want; he walked her home and there might've been a little 'dramatic logout' roleplay in there. We don't… We don't need to go into detail about it.

To some people that's romantic and to some it's completely gross. Not really sure why… It's a natural process, isn't it? Soul-eaters can't help being what they are, and you may as well snap at endermen hybrids for struggling with eye contact or shame unthreaded players if they expose their glitches instead of keeping them covered up. This world's too big and life too long for arguing. Do you really want to make enemies and be rude to people who are going to carry the echo of your words for the rest of their lives?

Lend a helping hand. Extend a little kindness. Be polite. Respond to the hurt. Try not to avoid responsibility when others are counting on your strength. Sit with the injured, even when the night is cold. They're simple goals, but so easily forgotten these days.

Etho: I think you said if I felt stuck then I should break my routine for a while

Nothing happens for several minutes. Etho rotates words without meaning through his head, then types out something else.

Etho: you were right. I get now why you go on adventures with Martyn. Why you let him and no one else log you out all the time. Thanks for the advice. Let me know next time you need a favor. Rating this cycle 10 of 10 and I owe you big xD

He takes a long, guilt-free nap in his cushioned bed. Catching up on block updates and videos really drains a guy (especially this close to the end of the Hermitcraft season, not to mention Vault Hunters and a Life series on top of it), but he spent all morning prepping the bed and it's already providing every agonizing tick of its worth. Two hours later, he's stirred awake by a buzz on the admin panel.

ZombieCleo: yay! So glad that worked for you <3 I want to hear all about it. Maybe in a couple weekends you can watch MCC with me and the kids + Martyn? If we catch a minute alone, I can recommend more stuff you might be into ;)

The kids refers to Bdubs and Scar, who skated through Limited Life like energetic teenagers spreading their wings. It's goofy, it's endearing, and Cleo's got her roleplay voice on because she knows it makes him snort. His tail gives a twitch as he tries to keep a smirk from creeping out behind his mask.

Martyn, huh? he muses, but doesn't say that. Cleo circles between lovers, friends, and exes like a pollinating bee.

Etho: whoaaaa Etho: inviting a fox? that's dangerous! ZombieCleo: nose out of your tail, fur boy Etho: dibs on Martyn, I see ZombieCleo: If you're serious about returning the favor, Martyn says Rhetoric's down here and this might be our best chance at smash and grabbing from your mum's museum Etho: Hm… ZombieCleo: I mean, you did leave my eggshell when you rescued Grian and that other soul

Yeah- it looked distressed. Now Sniff's down here. He can actually talk now when he couldn't before. Honestly, not the worst decision he could've made.

If anyone's going to try getting into the Fox Dragon's museum, a fox has the best chance of doing so. It's kept separate from the nesting cave where souls respawn, but even the deadliest traps won't keep foxes out since they'll just respawn. Unless they're traps that can't be dodged even with careful planning, or some sort of system that short-circuits code. The phantom roost is nearby, right? Frankly, phantoms are excellent trackers, they can fly, and they're probably the fastest of all non-swimming hybrids, so a phantom alone provides great security as-is.

Etho: I'll think about it. Not tonight, though. Full moon fox face isn't for me. Also if there are raiders there then that's probably the worst time to show up ZombieCleo: Fair ZombieCleo: I can think of something else, but if you ever get the chance, I want it back Etho: duly noted ✌️ ZombieCleo: btw say hi to Scar and Bdubs when you see them. They've been cracking nonstop jokes since you disappeared. One can only imagine they're attempting humor to bury immense throes of pain Etho: D:

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

[fromriches-tosin]

Sorry for this very heteronormative question but what do you think Jean gets up to in the post-rumbling reality where he does wait 10 years for Mikasa? As I understand, it’s more or less confirmed by storyboard captions that Jeankasa is canon and that it does take 10 years for the two of them to get together. I just can’t imagine what our boy does that whole time, though.

Does he seriously work as an ambassador for 7 years? Does he move back home for an early retirement? Does he resist the Yeagerist regime?

I’m asking you because you really have Jean’s number and I’m so curious lol

All Jean asks are welcome. 🥰

I haven’t seen the storyboards in question, but I do think it’s Jean in those post-credit scenes. And even though I’m not a fan of the idea of him waiting for anyone that long… He’s a big boy, he can do whatever he wants. 

As to what happens during those ten years… With Reijean I almost never imagine Jean staying on Paradis for good. He surely visits his family from time to time, but I have an impression he and Reiner choose to settle down elsewhere – mostly for safety reasons. However, if Jean really intends to be with Mikasa, he has to come back home.

In a way, Jean and co. will remain ambassadors for the rest of their lives. They’re a symbol of hope but also a living reminder of how much humanity can fuck things up. The first three to five years must be hectic and demanding; the ambassadors are probably forced to travel between those parts of the world that survived the Rumbling, trying to unite whatever remains of their nations. They’re being paraded around, asked to tell the same stories over and over again. Surely the most effort has to be put into the relationship with Paradis, but Jean and co. are all over the place, whether they like it or not.

After that period of time, other people become more active, some political parties are formed and perhaps the ambassadors’ presence becomes more like a welcome and encouraged addition rather than something essential to the new world’s politics. In all honesty, the only two members of the Alliance I see as driven and no-nonsense enough to continue that work until they drop are Armin and Pieck. Jean WILL try to keep up with them, but…

I’m really debating with myself when it comes to Jean’s interest in politics. On the one hand, this guy loves to talk as much as he loves to argue. In theory, he could make a good politician. We know he is extremely dutiful – once he makes something his mission, he does everything that is expected of him, everything he signed up for, everything in his power to get the job done. And he understands the burden Eren left the Alliance with. He knows they are obliged to try to make the world a better place (even if only for a century or so). So, he’ll definitely put his heart into that work, he’ll turn up to every important meeting, he’ll make speeches, he’ll try to inspire others, he might bask in fame, even try to become the playboy of the group and fight Reiner for the title, but… I can’t help but think he won’t feel entirely good in that role.

He might experience a burnout sooner rather than later. I really see Jean thinking more and more about starting a family, about finally having and doing something for himself. The life he dreamed about as a teen is out of the question: he saw too much suffering to seriously consider pursuing the decadent lifestyle he once desired. He’s definitely more humble in his expectations now. Not to mention that any relationship with Mikasa is out of the question for the next five years or so, and since Jean is a hopeless romantic, he doesn’t really intend to woo anyone else.

But he still wants to be happy.

I think Levi is the one to convince Jean to go back to Paradis. His fight ended when he cut Zeke’s head off. Who’s to say Jean’s fight can’t end now? Jean still looks up to Levi. Still considers him his captain. Levi is definitely the right person to tell Jean “at ease, soldier”. Whatever guilt Jean feels at the prospect of abandoning Armin and the rest will become easier to bear once Levi absolves him (that being said, as soon as Jean’s out, Conny and Reiner are out, too).

Historia will be more than happy to have a trusted friend by her side. She’s being used by the Yeagerists for their propaganda but most probably doesn’t have an actual influence on them. The one thing she can do is pardon Jean and make him her advisor or an official resident ambassador who attends meetings outside of Paradis if the need comes. All to ensure the Yeagerists don’t try to assassinate him. It’s definitely too dangerous for Jean to openly oppose them.

What I like to imagine, for some reason, is Jean going back to where he and the rest of the 104th squad trained. That is, of course, if the Yeagerists didn’t burn the facility to the ground. But if they didn’t, Jean could train Historia’s guards there. He could also turn it into a memorial site. I think he would be the right person to keep the memory of that place alive. I also think Keith Shadis would approve. Maybe Jean would even take up drawing again – to ensure Sasha and Hange’s faces don’t become lost to time.

Armin is the narrator of the story and has to take it forward. But Jean could work with the past. Because it wasn’t all bad.

[uhgood-girl]

Do you think Jungkook of the past was someone who wanted to become Jimin’s equal in every way and then some? Perhaps a man that he imagines Jimin might lust after? A bit dangerous, with thick muscles, yet killer on the dance floor? A man every bit as dedicated to his craft as Jimin is? To find that hunger for the stage, for improvement, not wanting to settle for status quo and this album is his portfolio of dance styles, working towards the dream of becoming partners, co-choreographers with Jimin and J-hope, possibly Taehung at some point in Chapter 3? For years I have watched them behind the scenes communicating on how best to approach the MV camera angle, improvising, capturing the important details of the choreography and rehearsing while adjusting to abilities and stride and I think how valuable their combined experiences are to the industry, not solely K- pop, THE worldwide industry. Will they still tour and make music as BTS and individually? I believe they will. But is that fulfilling enough for these talented artists, composers, producers, choreographers who have been running in bare feet since the beginning? I wonder.,,

i feel the need to start my answer at the end of your question, which i really love, by the way. it's actually my first official one on this site, thank you for sending it. 💜 however, i apologize now for the can of worms you cracked open, you basically just gave mcdonalds sprite to a loquacious victorian child lol.

but back to the end - fulfillment is an interesting concept, isnt it? this idea that everything you've ever worked towards will hopefully lead to some sort of innate feeling of satisfaction eventually, a dream realized, a list of ambitions played out. is it even possible, really, truly? especially when it comes to being a creative or artist of any sort, bonus points if it's how you make your living. being a professional creative is a bit oxymoronic imo and i say that as someone who does art as their day job. getting paid to bleed your ideas really adds an extra layer of complexity around the whole process.

because i would already equate finding personal fulfillment through art like trying to cling to sand. you can grab huge handfuls of it, maybe pack it with water, even shape it to your desire; you can for sure slow the whole process down long enough to enjoy it but at some point it will slip from your grasp and you will have to reach for more. you become the sisyphus of sand castles, forever betrayed by a strong breeze or a crashing wave or the simple design flaw of your own hands not meant to cradle something so small for too long.

fulfillment through art is fleeting because a true desire to create doesn't have a finish line. (burnout and death aside) i think most artists even when they create their magnum opus (if they're lucky), step back, bask in it for a bit and then immediately feel the ever present creep of what will i do next? can i top this? and when you do it as a career, your boss and/or audience (who is a boss of sorts in itself) walks up next to you and goes yeah! what's next? how are you going to top that? so the snake eats it's own tail ad infinitum.

but i do believe bts to be genuine artists in this sense, ready to chase that fever dream their whole lives because that's the real fulfillment, if any, of it all. just to continue to do it, in any shape, fashion, or form for as long as you can stand it. and i think all people are capable of art (i hope it's clear when i say art i'm encompassing the entire medium, music obviously included) and creativity and i would encourage any and everyone to pursue it, it's definitely worth it, but the desire around it doesn't affect everyone the same. you don't run bare foot through a dark tunnel you can't see the light at the end of unless you feel you have no choice. unless you are compelled.

i think the great news here is that the light is visible now. all of their blood, sweat, and tears (manhi, manhi, manhi) is paying dividends these days plus interest but even beyond the recognition and money, they have the buoyancy of creative freedom. overall, it's something i still think they're trying on and exploring, getting used to the feel of, but i also think all of the solo projects so far have been an incredible show of confidence towards taking risks and i love that for them so much. i love that they feel safe enough at this stage to pursue whatever they want, criticism from the peanut gallery be damned. i'm so excited to see what they will do in chapter 3 after having all of this under their belts. i agree that their combined experience is utterly invaluable.

but about jikook - can you imagine having the park jimin in your life? tbh i could give a rant similar to this about all of the members, but even then, i agree with my bias in that there's just something about jimin in particular that pulls your heartstrings. he's just good in a way that is hard to come by, in a way that seems to transcend his being a celebrity even, something that brings out the worst in so many far too often. and i think wanting to be worthy of him, to try and be his equal would be near subconscious for how naturally i imagine the people in his orbit would be persuaded. and because god knows you aren't sticking around if he finds you wanting. 👀

now imagine all that pjm goodness focused on you, singled out, romantic in flavor and during the height of puberty, no less? i think we and jk are lucky that jk is jk and has never met a challenge he couldn't face head on lol

however, i will raise you one better and say that while i'm sure jimin's type has definitely influenced the jk we see today, i think jimin's type would have been whatever jk grew into. because that's one of the things i've loved most about watching them evolve over the years, how they've done it together. if jimin's overwhelming goodness and exacting nature helped pull the very best out of jungkook, i think vice versa, jk's unconditional support and willingness to both call him on his bullshit (i'm thinking of the dieting incident in particular rn) but still love him through all of his stages has allowed jimin to flourish.

i've said it before, but the natural dichotomy of their personalities and ability to fill in where the other potentially lacks is so special. our sun and moon couple for real. but even in a non-romantic light, to find someone who fits you in such a way is genuinely rare. (the fact that bts as a whole are who they are and have each other is just so *clenches fist* ugh)

i honestly can't wait to see what heights they continue to race each other to.

[twofsouls]

What changes is the Wolf Full Moon (the moon after Yule) bringing into your life? PAC

1. 2. 3.

To those who have been waiting for this, it’s finally here!!! I was supposed to do a Yule reading but a ton of things got in the way so I settled for this! :))

If you enjoyed this reading and would like to leave a tip, feel free to press the tip jar! ^^

Tip Jar ✨

Take a deep breath and choose the image or number that calls to you the most. Use your intuition or ask the help of your guides/universe to help you pick your pile. Please note that if this doesn’t resonate, then this reading is probably not for you so don’t feel bad! 😊

Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only

Pile 1 🍃

A lot of passion will be coming your way! I see you working hard and dedicated to a dream of yours! For some of you, this could be a wish fulfillment that you’ve been working hard for. Manifestations are now rushing in faster than before! For others of you I sense something related to love. Possibly a potential romantic connection is in the air. Whatever this is, it’s bring you a breath of fresh air! I see you being seeing things in a new perspective. I’m also hearing new beginnings and the numbers 0 & 1. This could signify a brand new start of something or just like I said, new beginnings!! So happy for you pile 1 ^^

Pile 2 🌌

Healing or resting from something is what I’m seeing for you. Maybe you have healed from something in the recent past and your now resting or you could have dealt with something painful and now you’re backing away from it and just taking some time for yourself. I hear that this could be a burnout for some of you. Doing this is helping you regain back your power. I see a lot of people pointing their fingers towards you, trying to bring you down :(( but this time around, you’re more determined than ever to face the challenges ahead!! I see you standing more in your power and rising above these hurdles. Walking away from something is bring you more peace and some of you may be receiving an offer or a wish coming through that your guides are rewarding you for standing up for yourself! :)) Hang tight my sensitive souls!

Pile 3 ☕️

You may recently have been or may be at crossroads. Regardless, life moves on and so you move forward, too, towards being financially stable. Your hard work is brining in opportunities. I see you being more focused on your career and finances. You have an idea or plan and you are determined to push forward even if it’s going to take quite some time. This is bringing more balance in your life and yes, more abundance soon! You are leaving something behind for others of you here. You’re looking towards a bright horizon, uncharted waters but I see you definitely being excited taking on this path!

[jaffre]

passed some ocs through the ~break!! character creator matrix~ and out came new characters

Naught Lisron - elf alchemist from the Wistful Dark, currently settled in Taaga, studying the effects of wyrm blood as additives Rigis Lisron - bio-mechanoid found and reactivated by Naught in his travels, was adopted by him as his son, and is now working as a courier along the Pride Coast. made from sky steel, he hovers slightly. wears a wig to try and look less scary Zain Reffere - young elf samurai from House Reffere of the Holy Isles. a lot of expectations weight on her Amae & Ellie Amil - two rai-neko (stretching the definition of "cat-like" to include lions) sisters living in Nyanko. Amae does odd-jobs, mostly lifting heavy things, and Ellie is training as an oldtech mechanic

Nȳon - gruun travelling bard, just living his life day to day. he's more scrawny than others of his kind, and often find himself out of food for a couple o' days Zaza - mundymutt (afghan hound) trying to cut herself a slice of No-Folk Land with the help of her loyal crew. partially controls tobacco trade in the region Darla - unhinged old lady otherworlder who kinda lost it trying to find a way back home Varitas - tenebrate bright witch from Galvanus who's maybe just on the edge of burnout

[shallow-between-stars]

Oops.

Hi, um, yes! Hello!

So, uhh, it's been seven years. I recovered my account about... a month ago and that was an ordeal, then did nothing with that for a bit, then lurked for a bit and am now posting.

SO WHAT HAPPENED YOU ASK?

Short answer: Life.

Long answer: Life, pets, work, and a side of what I think was HORRIBLE BURNOUT.

I didn't really notice I was pulling away from Tumblr, but I kinda did, which is absolutely my bad. Then, y'know, shit happened.

I got back from China in... 2017... promptly lost my job, ended up with a new job I loved for a company I hated, worked there for five years or so. Had to people, like, a lot.

My job was entirely dealing with people. Mostly people under 12. And my poor, introverted soul really struggled with that most days and came home, crashed on the couch and slept. When it wasn't school term, it was holiday care, when it wasn't holiday care it was school term. I was responsible for a lot, including making sure a daily average of 30 kids didn't hurt themselves.

And, y'know, about a year into that, my father (who I love a lot better at a distance) and I had a conversation (started by me) about my moving out of the family home. Mum and Dad basically refused to let me rent and (I'm showing my upper middle class, here, sorry) bought me a house that I am slowly paying them back for.

Yes, I know, and I am so very grateful for their support.

My dad and I shopped together and picked out a (unbeknownst to us) house-flipped 30 year old property with a great back yard and some small things that needed fixing, and I packed my bags and over the course of a week, I moved in.

And then I did what every responsible new home owner would do and waited until I moved in and was settled before making any more drastic life changes.

...

...

...Yeah. I'm lying.

I got two dogs. Ranger, who is the end result of putting all your points into Charisma and Constitution and using Wisdom as a dump stat, and Rogue who went the Int/Dex route but forgot that constitution exists. Seriously. I had her a week and she nearly died from -eating chicken.-

(She's allergic, we have discovered in the interim. She's also five now, arthritic and incontinent, the very definition of THE BEST DOG WITH SHITTY HEALTH ever. I'd say she's the living embodiment of 'adopt, don't shop', but the other dog's adopted and has an almost 1:1 ratio of "years alive" and "windows broken because he got scared".)

So. I worked a shitty job for five years (and through Covid, my job was considered an essential role which meant I worked straight through the pandemic, with children, which was low-key terrifying), and then in an episode of "nepo baby" a friend of my mother's got me a job at a high school for kids with behavioural issues where I worked for the better part of last year teaching EAL/D to refugees. I loved the kids to pieces, but as you could probably tell from the 'refugee' part of that sentence, these kids came with very heavy stories and my heart was broken for them more often than not.

Anyway, due to a contract kerfuffle at the end of last year I found myself out of that job, but my boss stepped in for another episode of "nepo baby" and sourced me a -new- job with a friend of hers working at a different school, where I am now. Still teaching high school, still teaching EAL/D and still loving every minute of it.

Anyway, I'm writing again, which is great, and something that I haven't managed to do consistently for years (See: HORRIBLE BURNOUT) and am excited to be -almost- ready to post some new content to my sadly neglected AO3, where the last thing I posted was about... two and a half years ago and at the tail end of Covid.

Surprising no-one, the content I have most recently written is Kal and Bull.

Surprising probably a lot of people, I still haven't played Baldur's Gate 3, but I've got three weeks of holidays in about a month so maybe I will play it then? Maybe?

[vermutandherring]

Oh Sheri, I missed you so much…

I can't believe that our meeting will take place so soon. It seems like just yesterday that I finished Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One, even though it was several years ago. For myself, I defined this game as a reward for the term paper, which I wrote despite depression and internal burnout. Yes, video games are a bad panacea for serious problems. But sometimes they can provide temporary incentives and force you to move forward despite the difficulties. I'm currently writing a lot of educational work, so I don't have much inspiration to write reviews. But I will definitely do a review on Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One, because it is one of those games that few people have heard of, that you come across by accident, but have a lot of fun.

'Oh, I love it when you act so recklessly. Was it Limoges porcelain?' Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One

A demo version of Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened is now available on Steam. You can go through a short investigation in the walls of a psychiatric clinic, behind the vaunted walls of which something is happening. I've never been a huge fan of Howard Lovecraft's work, which the game is inspired by. But I feel that I will still have to expand my horizons and get to know Lovecraft more before playing the game. Moreover, in fact, this game is not new at all. The original Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened was released in 2007, when I, due to my age, did not know about Lovecraft or Frogwares (the developers). As mentioned in the demo, this is currently a raw form, which will still be refined. This is immediately noticeable, as well as the fact that the game is very similar to the previous part in all its mechanics. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with that. It cannot be that every released game is revolutionary. Sometimes we need simple stories that take their turn alongside the geniuses of the gaming industry.

Nevertheless, there are still differences. The first thing that catches your eye is the atmosphere. Against the background of what is happening in my country, I periodically want to return to the magical story of Chapter One, walk through the sunny streets of the Cordona, filled with the aroma of coffee, discover collectibles and costumes that I missed for various reasons. After all, just admire the charm of young Holmes, narcissistic and naive, who has yet to become the greatest detective. The Awakened, in turn, is very gloomy and depressing. At one point, walking through the corridors made of gray cobblestone, I caught flashbacks from my childhood, when I played Return to castle Wolfenstein. Maybe because Wolfenstein settled in my childhood imagination as something creepy, mysterious, enclosed in dark walls made of rough stone. The Awakened also has this air of mystery, but its occultism is still just a nice wrapper for a scary story made by human hands, not magic.

In this respect, the game is very similar to its literary inspiration. Reading The Hound of the Baskervilles many years ago, I really didn't want it all to turn into some sort of mystical delusion. I don't like when magic and the occult are used to explain plot holes, because it only increases the number of flaws in the story, and shows its creators as people with limited imagination. Ever since the announcement, I didn't really like the idea of adding an element of mysticism to the game. But now that I have a little more visual material, I'm looking forward to doing this investigation.

I don't like to talk about mechanics in games, because it's often a matter of taste. But in this case, it will be appropriate to talk about this aspect of the work. For the demonstration, the developers chose a very good part of the story, which will give you a full test of Sheri's mind and abilities. Passing it will be much easier if you have played the previous game or are familiar with it. In some of the reviews of Chapter One, I encountered criticism regarding the complexity and obscurity of the investigation system. I can't say for sure why some people can master it, and others can't add 2+2. So should I disappoint or please you - The Awakened uses the same mechanics as Chapter One. In a very short span, the game lets you experience it to its fullest. This amount of parts and mechanics to work out can make this short playthrough a little difficult. I had to run back and forth for a good half hour to understand what I should do to untangle the logical chain. I remembered something, I had to learn something again. But in general, after revealing all the secrets, I was satisfied with the game (and myself).

Yes, I just LOVE picking locks in games. It seems that this system looked different in the previous part of the series.

Even in this small piece, the developers left a reference to the previous part of the game, which combines the 2 games into a single story. Although I want to complain a little about Sheri. He's obviously a bit older in this piece (just look at his stubble in the trailers), but his character still feels just as youthful. Maybe it's because of the performance of the voice actor, who was also very nice to hear again. As I already said, not every game has to be brilliant down to the last detail. But each story has its own protagonist's path - a test that should change him. It is not felt at the moment. However, I don't want to judge a game when it's not yet fully released. So I look forward to the opportunity to investigate a new case.

I've also met a lot of complaints about Sherlock's appearance: too young, too emo, too sweet and not like himself. I don't understand this. Why do you want him to look like a 40-year-old balding man? His looks are one of the reasons I decided to play the game.

[midnightechoes]

My brain has been exploding with ideas lately. Unfortunately, my body can't keep up. If my ideas are exploding fireworks, then my body is a poor cat that's hiding under the couch, frozen in terror by the loud sounds coming from outside.

I definitely think I'm experiencing the dreaded "burnout". I even have all the stereotypical feelings that come with burnout, such as "I haven't done enough work to justify being burned out" and "I don't have time to be burned out!"

The truth is that I know that there isn't a quota of work for burnout, nor should I just keep powering through it because I "don't have time." But knowing those things and not feeling those things are very different.

It's certainly not helped by my brain cranking out idea after idea. Fic ideas. OC story ideas. Art ideas. All I can do with those is jot them down and hopefully, I'll be able to do something with them when I'm in a better space to.

Right now, I need to just settle on one thing and focus on getting that done. I know I'll feel a little better if I can finish something. I do have a couple things that I need to get done. Going to try to finish those couple of things up, and then hopefully try to give myself a break for a few days.

[8-beats-per-minute]

Uncanny Valley AU Designs!!

ITS FINALLY HERE

You can skip to the designs if you want then come back, I wouldn’t blame you but I would like to apologize.

I don’t know what happened, I started this right after Christmas 2022 then worked on it basically nonstop for a week and a half. I basically finished Mikey’s design with a few changes and started brainstorming for Raph then my brain was like “lol no”.

It might have been part finding reference poses for Raph or stress from school and exams or burnout or idk. Whatever it was made my motivation disappear. For 3 1/2 months.

I was like “yes stuff is coming!!!! I’m making stuff!!!” And then that just didn’t happen.

Again, I’m sorry.

I’m not going to do much in descriptions (unless I add them later) cause it’s late and I’m tired. I’ve been actually busy for the past 2 weeks.

General design notes!!

I need up doing the connected ears to head idea so that’s why they look so flat

These are meant to reflect Black and Japanese features. I AM NEITHER. If I did something offensive to one of these groups in these drawings I can guarantee I did not know and did not do this on purpose.

PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I DID SOMETHING OFFENSIVE AND I WILL CHANGE IT. I would appreciate it if it is done in a calm matter but I understand if it’s not. Just please don’t call me stupid or racist cause I also have feelings. You can yell at me if I take longer than a week to respond. It would also be best if it was in the comments so it’s easier to respond.

They all have naturally really sharp and thick nails, I just couldn’t show for some of them

I tried giving them masks that incorporated how they wear fabric in their hair. It looks okay but a little weird, especially for Leo and Donnie

I’m writing/posting this between 11pm and midnight after a very long day and with a long day tomorrow so I’m not writing the (aaa I forgot the name for it. The text that explains what the picture looks like) I’ll add it when I have time I’m really sorry tho

Now, without further ado…

The designs!!!

(These might be changed, I have a tendency to change things after and be like wait I like that more but these are basically the designs. They’re also all post-movie so if you want to see pre-movie, as kids or apocalypse let me know :)).

LEO

I gave Leo both vitiligo and red birthmark stripes. Everything is blue (of course) and I’m not a huge fan of what I did for his clothes design but oh well he’s allowed to switch styles. I was stuck between giving him short hair and long hair and blond extensions or not but this is what I settled on. He’s also 10% the type of person to have little bracelets on (Mikey made him the braided one obviously). I have this headcanon that he’d look the most similar to Splinter (as a human obv so Lou Jitsu) so I tried to do that, it’s just hard to go from animated to semi-realistic. Anyway he’s got that superstar dazzling smile/mysterious troublemaker grin. You can’t see but his hair tie is blue. Maybe an actual hair tie maybe a strip of fabric, maybe a scrunchie. It changes every few hours. 

DONNIE

I was actually pretty excited to do Donnie’s face specifically (him and his very square face). I had a really fun time with his shell tho and all the little spots and scars and spiny parts. I tried to make him look similar but not the exact same and I think I did okay. I definitely think they’d look pretty similar just cause it’d be like “haha were twins :)) -Leo”. I was going to give him headphone but forgot so just pretend there’s headphone plz lol. I also believe he’d wear very baggy clothes but I made his collar way too high cause I feel like he’d hate the feeling of stuff on his neck (no this is not me projecting 👀). He also has sharp teeth but I didn’t show them.

MIKEY

Oooh boy. I was so excited for Mikey!!! I also gave him vitiligo on his face, arms, hands and legs )not visible). I also feel like he’d change his hair around A LOT so I gave him a few different hairstyles. He also definitely has paint on most of his clothes and paints on them intentionally. He’s a cool sock guy I just KNOW it. I tried keeping his little shell stickers on his “casual” design but had to move it to the other one cause it looked weird. I did put them on his knee pads if you looks close. I had to keep his other cool face knee pads of course, they’re iconic. And I of course kept his off-centre gap tooth.

Last but certainly not least…

RAPH

I had so many ideas for him and I got most of them but they’re so half-assed I’m sorry Raph 😭. Especially the pose ughhhh it’s so bad. And the shoes 🥲. Anyways instead of focusing on what I did badly were going to focus more on the idea. A few thoughts I knew I wanted was the scar on his eye and shoulder and to add markings cause Raph deserves to glow too. I added some markings on his forehead and just below his ears if you look close. I also added some on his shell and the spikes on his shoulders. He definitely has the most obvious shell out of his brothers but it’s still smaller than how it is in the show. AH I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT HIS RAPH CHASM 😭. Sorryyyy. I also wish Raph’s markings were lighter but oh well.

That’s all for now! Now that I can stop stressing about finishing this I can try and post more about this, whether it be art or talking about it idk.

Also I plan on making a proper logo soon I just have a very busy month ahead of me so we’ll see how fast that gets done

[jindallaebe]

[  🥀  ]  𝖆 𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖎𝖉𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙...

𝖙𝖑𝖉𝖗 /  JIN MEETS A NEW “FRIEND” BY CHANCE— A CLOSER STARTER WRITTEN FOR STEVIE PARK.

now that the holiday season is over and the new year has set in, jindallae’s feeling a heaviness infiltrate his bones; even his soul. spending lots of time with his family has never ever been a favorite pastime of his, and seeing so much of them last month has him feeling rather exhausted. on top of that, the diner he cooks at saw a huge boost in patronage throughout december, which only led to more unfortunate burnout, and now that everything is slowing down, he feels an odd mix of sweet relief, and gross fatigue. he can’t remember the last time he went out and did anything for himself — whether that’s getting blackout drunk, or finding a person to fall into bed with, or even being an audience member at a show instead of a performer. it’s gotten to the point where even his gigs feel like chores, and that’s not a good sign to him. so, for tonight, he’s decided to be a little selfish — to take to the city’s nightlife crowd in hopes of getting buzzed and finding a pretty someone to “ blow off steam ” with. while he’s feeling rather confident in his endeavors, he knows that there’s still a chance that he’ll fail and head home alone, but he’s hoping that’s not the case.

after closing up the restaurant, he headed home to shower and change clothes, and now, he finds himself wandering through hongdae with no clear plan in mind. his eyes scope out people around him, they linger on some of them, but haven’t remained set on anyone for long. maybe starting off with a drink will help him settle in, especially since it’s cold outside and alcohol will definitely warm him up some. so, he browses for the nearest open bar, and its during this search that he catches sight of someone who immediately captures his attention. with one look at him, jindallae is able to deduce that he’d be the perfect conquest if it worked out, and he laughs to himself about how fitting the stranger is to his supposed “ type. ” his close friends, even his twin, all make fun of him for having an obvious “ preference ” when it comes to his lovers’ physical shells, but he genuinely can’t help himself when it comes to that. he likes what he likes — is that so wrong ?? he sure as hell doesn’t think so.

not wanting to miss the opportunity to say hey and chat his selected prospect up, all six feet and three inches of jindallae saunter over to him; his stature impressively long, his all-black outfit only making him look more-so, and his gaze enigmatic, yet piercing. many claim that his aura alone is a chaotic blend of intimidating and intriguing, and all he can do is hope that the individual before him finds it closer to the latter... or the former, if that’s more his “ thing. ” he’s not one to judge or shame.

“ hey, ” he speaks, licking his lips. “ you seem lost. need help finding somethin’ ?? ”

[snekverse]

OC time!!

i have recently recycled these babies so they’re not like,, fully fleshed out lol but I wanna talk abt em anyways!! A lot of this is going to be chalk full of spoilers for my rewrite if I ever get around to actually writing it, so be warned!! they’re mostly small details tho so it’s not too huge but still

@the-tismification-of-aaron-lycan​

Della:

phys desciption: human, avg height, curvy and muscular hourglass build, moroccan, curly blonde hair (always covered by a hijab, her favorite of which is golden rod yellow), brown eyes, late teens/early 20s, her “signature color” is rust orange

Juror during Zane’s tenure, one of the only jurors not handpicked by Zane, although he did obviously have a say in her getting the position. She doesn’t have a confirmed jury title yet, but her temp title is Crystal Vision

Magics user with the ability to see into the future. due to her age + other factors her ability to control said magics is somewhat limited; she has very little control over how far forward she sees and visions tend to come to her at random rather than her intentionally making them happen (not to say that she can’t induce visions). she also tends to accidentally induce visions when she becomes stressed or overwhelmed

the magics came mostly naturally, more of a gift, and now that she’s reached a point in her practice where she actually needs to work at it she’s at a loss. on the path to magical gifted kid burnout

she has very little family and no friends from childhood, growing up with only her mother. They lived in a smaller, very religious town not far from Okhasis, and as such she grew up deeply religious

By nature she is very kind and compassionate albeit timid. However the rarity of her magic garnered a lot of negative attention, and a lot of people tried to find ways to use her for it, often through cruel means. As such, she has become anxious and paranoid

in terms of trying to use her the Jury/Okhasis is no different, something she didn’t realize until it was too late. She hates being in the Jury, but is too afraid of what might happen to her and/or her mother if she tries to leave

her story ends during the 15yr timeskip, when she is tried and executed for treason on account of not being able to predict/prevent Zane’s disappearance. 

Elliott: 

phys description: werewolf, tall, somewhat lean but sturdy inverted triangle build, central european, messy dark brown hair, black eyes, mid 30s, his “signature color” is eggplant purple

Corinne’s husband and Lia’s father

Juror during Zane’s tenure, recruited thanks to the interference of his wife Corinne. He has no particularly strong feelings about Zane, the Jury, or any of their questionable morals; for him it’s really just a job. His Jury Title is Wolf’s Bane

He doesn’t use any weapons, in human form or wolf, but Corinne does provide various potions and elixirs to boost his attacks, which he often takes advantage of in the form of poison-tipped claws

He’s been essentially disowned by his family after he was turned, and he has learned to “accept it” (*cough* repress it *cough*). Even if they refuse to associate with him, he has a mother, father, and three younger brothers. He originally hails from a very small farming-central village in the south of Ru’an, went on the run for years after being turned before meeting Corinne in Okhasis, where he settled.

He’s very cocky and self-assured by nature, definitely kind of an asshole. All the trauma of being turned and disowned left him bitter and angry, traits he has to this day. He doesn’t have a whole bunch of positive qualities lol

He does love his wife wholeheartedly though, as well as his daughter. Everything he does he does with his family in mind. He wants to be better to them than his family was for him, and often that ends up with him stubbornly believing everything he does is right (bc he’s doing it for them and if they argue then they’re ungrateful etc yall know how this goes)

his story ends during the 15yr timeskip; he gets killed in the line of battle during the war with Tu’la, loyal to his nation and family til the very end

Corinne:

phys description: witch, avg height, curvy pear-shaped build, vietnamese, straight dark orange hair, brown eyes, early 30s, her “signature color” is wine red

Elliott’s wife and Lia’s mother

Not a juror, but very closely connected to Zane, the Jury, and other Okhasian nobility through her husband’s juror status, something she enjoys taking advantage of

she is native to Okhasis, coming from a semi-noble family, not super high in the politics chain but well above the average citizen

Her dream was to be one of the “top dogs” in Okhasis, if not the entirety of Ru’an. She got this from her mother who had a similar goal.

Marrying Elliott was something more akin to an investment for her; she saw that he had potential and pushed him to reach for something greater (the jury), ultimately raising her own status drastically

She is incredibly selfish and vain, caring for no one but herself. She gets away with it by being manipulatively charming

During the timeskip very little changed in terms of her goals. at some point she figured Tu’la was likely going to take over, she abandoned everything and swapped sides, working her way up in Tu’lan society. She is currently remarried to a well respected Tu’an general

Cordelia/Lia:

phys description: werewolf, tall but not as tall as her father, lean rectangular build, mixed (european/vietnamese), curly dark orange hair, brown/black eyes, 7(s1), 22 post timeskip, her “signature color” is rose pink as a child and dusty rose as an adult

Daughter of Elliott and Corinne

Her parents were deeply involved in the Jury and Okhasis politics and struggled to give her the attention she needed; as a result, she was never very close to them (plus a million other mental health issue lmao)

Feels responsible for her parent’s wrongdoings despite not having a hand in any of it. As an adult she chooses to travel the world and right her parent’s wrongs wherever she can

Her father dies and her mother abandoned her shortly after the war started. She learned to fight and survive, barely escaping Okhasis in hner early teens alongside many other orphaned and abandoned children that she helped along her way

She’s about the same age as Abby; they weren’t close as children due to their parents not getting along, but their paths cross again in adulthood and they briefly become travel companions. They’re still not close, but they’re not enemies, so she counts it as a win

She actually has an awful crush on Abby in adulthood, but it isn’t reciprocated (yet?)

After parting ways with Abby she finds Mikai, and begins working with him and helping Tu’la refugees

Violetta:

phys description: human/mage, fairly short, chubby build, chilean, curly black hair, violet eyes, mid 20s, her “signature color” is violet (go figure lol)

something of a bounty hunter, willing to do increasingly awful things if given enough money

One of her earliest assignments was to murder Zane. She ended up failing, and was given a new assignment by him in exchange for her life (to remove a certain juror from the equation). She now is offering unofficial aid to Tu’la, who are using her to continue picking off uncooperative Ru’an nobility.

she specializes in magic that can bend light, creating optical illusions and more impressively turning things (and herself) invisible, a trick she utilizes for her job

she has a very laidback personality, very intelligent and sly but always keeping a very relaxed and often very charming demeanor

though she would never state it, she originally comes from falcon claw, her family relocating the the eastern edge of Ru’an shortly before falcon claw is decimated

Her family is nothing to write home about, both parents and her little brother are alive and well in eastern Ru’an. She’s on good terms with all three of them, but rarely visits and refuses to tell them what she does for work (she’s afraid of them reacting poorly)

she wholeheartedly believes the story about Aaron being responsible for the falcon claw massacre, and her desire for closure/revenge is partially why she become involved in bounty hunting. despite essentially dedicating her life to finding him, he has always managed to elude her, so much so she’s not even sure he’s alive

By the time of the timeskip she’s become more focused on her work + her own survival more than anything else, and no longer has that drive for vengeance

[quillyfied]

I think what I appreciate and find interesting in the way season 4 of WWDITS played out is that theme of cycles and nothing changing despite best efforts, however misplaced. This was a season with an air of casualness that immediately felt jarring after the heightened emotional intensity of s3, and descended quietly into something more melancholy. I can’t speak for anyone else but for me I think s4 hit me so hard once it was fully finished because it felt familiar, uncomfortably so. Oversharing ahoy.

I have ADHD. The inattentive strand. And I’m a white cis woman. So the depression and anxiety were easy to clock, but the ADHD took several years of self-exploration, two rounds of inconclusive testing, about five doctors, years of cycling through antidepressants and anxiety medications, and one therapist who listened to me when I said I thought I might have it and after two sessions agreed with me. I’m still uncovering the ways ADHD affects me, but one of the biggest aspects that has pretty much taken my adult life out at the knees is ineffective cycles: trying to change, trying new things, failing or feeling like I failed, and falling back into the same rut or habit I was trying to break in the first place. It’s a thing that now that I’m aware of it, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with and often makes me even more upset with myself for falling into the same traps. But being angry doesn’t stop how exhausted I feel when trying to change, and the sense of something close to relief when I finally fall back into a comfortable rut.

S4 showed the housemates all expanding themselves, or trying to—and failing. Some fail more horrifically than others. But that’s fine, immortal beings are creatures of habit and true change for them is next to impossible anyway, so what does it matter? It was a cool distraction for a little while. By definition they aren’t living things anymore and they can’t change the same way real living and growing things can. The writing of the season could have done a humorous shrug and leaned into it, those darn silly vampires with their being stuck in their ways. But. It didn’t feel like that at all, did it? It felt cold and sad, not like a punchline at all. There were still notes of humor, but the butt of the joke wasn’t stagnation itself. If anything, stagnation was the enemy this season, the threat of annihilation that WWDITS has sometimes (the first visit of the Baron, the trial and attempted executions by the Vampiric Council, the Sire escaping). Trying to escape stagnation drove the character arcs for the season, so to have it close out in almost the exact same place and dynamic as s1 was the horror element of this horror-comedy show. And because it’s good writing, the audience feels that disappointment and frustration that being stuck in a rut that feels not just impossible but pointless to try and change because of continued failure causes.

But something is different. Guillermo not only notices the cycle, but he’s actively taking strides to break it. Will he be successful? Personally, I don’t think he will be, because there are two seasons left, but I think he’s going to cause SOME kind of breakthrough. Because changing ruts is hard, very hard, but not impossible—and easier with help and good support. And it starts with trying again. And not just trying again, but trying something DIFFERENT than before. Not falling back on old behaviors without a fight and support to help get through relapses. Making changes in ways that work for you, not trying to fit yourself to changes in a way that works against your brain and causes the exhaustion and failure and burnout that leads to settling back in the rut.

What’s gonna happen? I don’t know. But I’m intrigued at this thread that the show seems to be tackling and curious to see how it plays out.

Because, as someone who finds making good changes and breaking cycles to be next to impossible but has found herself making some anyway, slowly but surely, I’m ready to follow the writers down this path and see where they take us.

[kithtaehyung]

HAPPY NEW YEAR RYEN 🎆🎇( its 2023 here already and want to start the year with thanking people who carried me through last year) I hope this new year treats you well and help you archive everything you want o⁠(⁠(⁠⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠⁠)⁠)⁠o

When I say I definitely would not have been able to survive this year without your blog ( both you and your writings ) I truly mean it (⁠θ⁠‿⁠θ⁠) simply saying this may not make you realize how much you helped me but now you are basically my older sister which I never had ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ ( yes claiming you as my sister now hehe) *send you a hug and a hundred*

It's also been one year since I discovered 3tan cause I found it like a month after it was posted, so 'happy 3taniversary' and to discovering your blog (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠) my first story was actually 'ugh f*ck' ( talk about an introduction) before I read 3 tangerines like a few days later and realized you wrote both stories (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) I end up reading rest of your masterlist after that (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) and end up commenting for the first time ever which was how comfortable I feel around here (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠) Thank you again for the amazing stories you give us which I'm sure take lot of brain power and thank you for creating this loving community too (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠) I hope you are proud of what you did this year even though you may have regrets. Just know you made a person who lives oceans away from you happy and inspired multiple times throughout the year (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

Excited to see what another year with you brings and to start a new chapter of my life ＼⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠)⁠／I have not been excited for a new year in years cause nothing seems to be different anyways but things will be very different this year I'm both excited and scared but hopefully I can make it work and get step closer to how to the life I want to live (✷‿✷)

ps. My commentary is coming along , I seems to have underestimate how burnout I was but I have started multiple chapters and they are all coming up together. You can expect to get them all this month hopefully (⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ

-🍯

HONEY BABYYYY omfg i smiled so wide when i saw this message i'm screaming !! first, i'm glad that you're actually excited for this new year and going for the life you want to live. i'm doing the same, so let's go for it together :D

thank you so much for reaching out. when i tell you that you and your feedback box commentaries have been the fuel that keeps me going, i sincerely mean it. i spent so much time going through your feedback and squealing/laughing/crying the whole way through. no matter what i was doing - even if i was on my afternoon runs - i would get the emails and stop what i was doing to read them<33 and then would go back and read them again later in the night when i had time to settle in and read a lot more relaxed. each time, they have given me much joy, so thank you endlessly.

i can be the older sister you've never had! of course i can be that for you, babe. you're so sweet. i'm glad you were able to find this blog (and ahahaha both ugh f*ck and 3tan?? what a combo!) it's been a joy to have you. you never fail to mention the work and brainpower that writing this series takes, and it makes me feel better each time. this does take a lot of me so thank you for highlighting those aspects of the process. you've made this person happy, too. happy new year and i'll be thinking of you when i see fireworks🎆🎇

[jasmin--without-the-e]

Week 4: Burnout, Books and the Big Bad Charger Stealer™

Left: A beautiful tree that I’ve watched flower each day I went into campus.

Right: My haul of Arsenal books I was sent!

Bottom: The first round of sketches for SEO Mastery that I started on.

This week I’ve been really unmotivated. I think it's just the time of year where the burnout of the second semester is finally settling in. I was talking to my sister about it and she’s feeling the same tiredness and unmotivation so at least I have some comradery. Knowing my tendencies when I get burnt out, I have really tried to stay on top of work despite it. I’ve been making the effort to go into school everyday this week so I can have interactions with peers and have some social time as well (remote is very isolating). Though now I’m a bit discouraged as the last time I was there someone stole my charger. So there goes a wasted $150.

As a result of the mood during the week, I felt a bit lacking in my work in all honesty. My host was working on projects independently that we had talked about collaborating on, but due to my pace, I was on other things and the due dates just kept coming up. That's one big difference I’ve noticed: Industry moves FAST.  I mean, so did IDEA, but it's almost a different kind of fast. It’s definitely something I know I’ll improve on over time—I mean we’re always told that for the first few years of your career you’ll be losing your employer’s money just based on how fast you work. However, it's rather discouraging when I don't want to let people down. That also plays a part in how many projects I take on. My host is very generous with checking in if I have too much going on, if things are doable in a certain timeframe, but it’s my own thinking that is making me say “yes i can take on more.”

But! Despite all that inner turmoil, I have been making progress with my assigned projects. We went through a very intensive typesetting lesson on Tuesday and let me tell you, working on the whole book versus the sample pages is VERY different. I was almost too scared to touch anything ha! I was also introduced to the concept of GREP styles and how they really improve the automations in indesign, but for now it looks like gibberish and is incredibly daunting. I was talking to my host about it and she shared that it's something she is also still learning. The fact that she's been using this program for so long and is still finding new things to learn about it was exciting for my career.

One very positive thing about this week was that I received a package. Arsenal was INCREDIBLY generous and sent me some books! I was not expecting any books and was just told to pick some out of their catalogs and that was that. Like what? It’s like a second Christmas! I am already a big lover of the types of books Arsenal publishes, but it's a smaller press so its authors I haven't read before. I am so excited to read them and also know that I’m working on those author’s future books (Bad Land is by the same author as The Whole Animal).

[my-digi-life]

I never used to journal digitally, but I decided this year I would try to do something a little different. So let me introduce myself and give you a little run down:

I’m Arley. I’m 24, soon to be 25. I like to read and write. I want to keep this journal as anonymous as possible so I won’t get into what I do for work specifically, but if I ever need to I will vent about my work (very much a possibility as I work with the public and the public does some stupid shit sometimes). Any other details I deem necessary will be shared as I think of them haha.

Let’s get into some really journaling now:

I’ve made it through another year and it feels a little crazy how different I feel. I started 2023 very depressed and overwhelmed. I was feeling extremely burned out in my undergrad program, but knew I just had to push through because I was due to graduate in May. I was crying every single night and to be honest, I was starting to feel how I felt in the months leading up to my pysch ward visit in 2019.

I’m happy to say I ended the year with 0 psych trips and a shiny new degree in English. I’ve also found a job I love. To be honest, it’s a little hard to reconcile who I was and how I felt in January 2023 with who I am now. I know people say your brain fully developes around the age of 25 and I truly believe my brain did a lot of cooking in the last few months. I find myself calmer and more rational. I’m able to cope with the hits as they come and I’ve settled into a since of acceptance with somethings that used to cause me a lot of distress.

Let’s talk a little bit about yearly goals. I’ve kind of grown away from New Year’s Resolutions since I was a teenager, but I’ve started making some actionable goals for myself. I wanna start by reviewing my 2023 goals and then I will present my 2024 goals.

For 2023, I wanted to:

Prioritize mental health and healing from burnout

I did this! I’ve been taking my therapy more seriously and have been talking through my feelings with my friends and family instead of suffering in silence. I took two months off between school and the start of my first job and spent that time doing things that made me feel so fulfilled. Honestly, just getting out of school made me feel 100 times better. I remember I graduated and one of my besties, we’ll call them Rena, looked at me and said “you’re glowing now that you don’t have class anymore”. It kind of shocked me how right they were and just how miserable I was grinding that way for years.

2. Learn to love writing again

The actionable part of this was simply to start writing again. I actually added over 7k words to my manuscript! However, this has kind of gone to wayside since I started working, just because I don’t have the time anymore. I’m hoping in the following year though to learn to juggle my schedule better so I can do the things I love.

3. Take more photos & videos

This was a goal because I am a deeply sentimental person and I love looking back through photos. I actually did this and I’m so happy I did because I did so much fun shit this year and I never want to forget it.

4. Read 5 nonfiction books

NOPE! I read 1. I was fighting some real demons to get to my reading goal this year, so let’s just be thankful I read anything haha

5. Read more meaningfully

This goal basically just meant to be a little more thoughtful of the books I picked up instead of reading just to hit a goal. I definitely did this and my average rating really reflected it. I picked up a lot more books I ended up loving because I was actually thinking about them instead of just doing it as a means to an end.

6. Journal once a week

……….. No comment……

Okay! Time for 2024 goals! (A lot of these are more health focused)

Stop eating out on your lunch breaks!

I only work 2-3 long shift a week, but I’ve been eating out for every single one. Not is it only a strain on my wallet, but I’ve gained weight and I just don’t feel as good. I don’t want to make any goals directly related to my weight because those tend to go awry for me (ED girly here), instead I want to make goals that prioritize general health and feeling good.

2. Go to the gym at least 2 times a week.

I’m starting with just 2 days because I fear if I make it higher, I’m going to be setting myself up for failure. I pass this gym on my way to and from work so I think it’ll be easier to convince myself to go than it used to be. I’m gunna try working out after my shifts since it’s open 24/7, but if I need to, I’ll switch it to before my shift.

3. Read 60 books

I set a reading goal every year, even if I don’t put it in my written yearly goals. My goal in 2023 was 40 and I read 63. My goal for 2022 was 52 and I ended up reading 109, so I’m not too concerned about hitting this goal.

4. Watch more movies this year

Another goal I had in 2023 that I just didn’t write down. I don’t really watch movies instead I usually just watch brain rot TV shows that require 0 attention. However, I had a good time in 2023 looking for movies to watch. I also got to watch some that had been on my list for years! I actually got really into the whole Saw franchise and I have 0 regrets. Even developed a new hyperfixation with the Scream franchise (fuck SpyGlass Entertainment and fuck Scream VII tho).

5. More trips with friends!

My friend, Alyssa, has a goal to take more day trips in 2024. Day trips, vacations, or whatever, I just want to make more memories with the people I truly love!

That’s it for now! I’ll see you when I see you.

Hum and kiss from your friend,