#their conversations must be crazy
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how yulia & andrey met
#is what i like to think#she did something insane and andrey developed an immediate attachment#their conversations must be crazy#yulia lyuricheva#andrey stamatin#pathologic#pathologic fanart#comics
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no because what do you MEAN the first thing benny does upon meeting castiel for the first time in purgatory is angrily confront him about why he left dean? meanwhile dean is clinging to the hope that it was just an accident, there’s no way cas would leave him intentionally, right? girl………
#the purgatory dynamics…… they compel me#imagine the conversations they must have had?? for benny to become so protective of dean???#hearing about how cas lied and betrayed dean and chose dangerous power over asking for dean’s help#and dean is still insistent - we find the angel and take him with us or deal’s off#this show is crazy. i need to be put down#spn rewatch#spn 8x02#benny lafitte#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#deanbenny
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say it with me everybody: personal health is completely immaterial to morality, including mental health. leading a mentally unhealthy lifestyle (or what you perceive as a mentally unhealthy lifestyle) does not a bad person make. no one has to socialize, exercise, have healthy coping mechanisms, or lead (what you perceive as) a fulfilling life with fulfilling hobbies in the same way that no one has to go to the doctor to get a broken bone reset. both of those types of management of personal health are likely to be beneficial to the individual, but they are in no way moral requirements or debts owed to society. they do not actually say anything about a person's principles, personality, or actions towards others. additionally, people know themselves and their own situations better than you do. maybe a person judges that the physical and financial toll of going to the doctor outweigh the benefit of getting their bone reset, maybe a person just does not have the capacity to develop healthy coping mechanisms at this point in their life, and yes, maybe a person feels like they are totally fulfilled by "media based" hobbies alone and would feel no difference in their life if they picked up a loom. just like. let people be sick without accusing them of being representative of the lazy, degenerated state of modern society.
#marina marvels at life#there's a way people on here have been talking about ai/tiktok/movies/anti intellectualism/media hobbies/self care that all jives together#that just. really icks me out.#sometimes it comes through pretty transparently with people claiming that you must have regular sex to be a healthy/good person#or conversely that people are more sex crazed now than they've ever been and it's destroying literacy or whatever#or that cheating at school is scandalously immoral and only 'soft brained' bad people would do it#or that collectivism means you have to dress the right way and feel the right way and talk the right way#because your actions affect Others and you might upset someone or give off bad messages if you wear a crop top or are too sad#but a lot of the time it's just this strange plausibly-deniable tone I keep encountering that crept up some time in like 2021 I think#like. am I going crazy here or has anyone else been feeling this?
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din djarin, age 10: clone wars refugee child
boba fett, age 11: in federal prison for destroying an entire venator while trying to kill mace windu
#star wars#din djarin#boba fett#redbean talks#meanwhile jango; age 14: the actual mand'alor#very funny to realize that din and boba are almost the same age#when you look at the difference in what they were doing for most of the clone wars#din at age ten was a small frightened child hiding from super battle droids behind a space dumpster(?)#boba at age ten was jangos copilot/getaway driver for jedi-hunting missions (and also an equally small child)#then three years later was a full blown crime boss and involved in human trafficking#i really want to see more of the mundane conversations about raising grogu#like among the mandos there's#din (children of the watch hardcore mando): i must teach my small son to shoot#boba (literally-lifelong bounty hunter raised in child soldier central): do you want recommendations for good starting blasters#bo katan: i asked the armorer to make a custom set of knives too btw#the armorer (already made armor for small son): dont you think he needs a flametrhower for his birthday#and then the Associates#they've got ig11 (trigger happy assassin droid); fennec (experienced bounty hunter who fought cad bane at age early-20s?)#krrsantan (crazy gladiator probably-madclaw); koska (tackled boba as an introduction); axe (stabbed paz over a game of chess)#and then. there is Luke.#imagine everyone pondering over how to modify a disruptor rifle to fit very small arms#(because boba's absolutely going to spoil his small green nephew)#and luke just in the background like 'maybe we should. not? give the preschooler a deadly weapon? this is not safe?'#din: eh he's smart he'll be fine#luke; fearing for his life: it's not him im worried about-
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@ the gorgeous girl in my apartment building with the trans tattoo on her thigh that i met in the elevator one time last summer and now see everywhere, i need you to know i think about you randomly at night and i yearn to take you on a date. you’re so pretty and you were so nice and sweet and when you complimented me i felt my cheeks get super hot but remember i was moderately cool about it?? i could see the numbers counting down to the end of the elevator ride in my periphery and i didn’t want to waste my time being flustered so we started complimenting each other on everything, and you were blushing too?? anyways i should have asked for your number but i didn’t because all the trans girls i know are cuffed and everyone in my building is too so i didn’t wanna be weird and make you uncomfortable if you were dating someone and only looking to make friends. i think about you some random moments and everytime i go to do my laundry i question if i should dress up a tiny bit better just in case i see you. also uh… why does your laugh sound like music?
someone get this to her like a message in a bottle thrown desperately into the ocean please
#i feel like she must have just moved in or something because i had never seen her before and there is NO forgetting a cutie like that oh#my god#like?? hello??#i see her around still but like i’m so nervous and usually on my way out somewhere or with someone#and what the fuckkk i just wanna be like ‘hi!’ and start up a conversation#and you look at me every time you see me and you smile in this way that makes my brain nervously scream HA#and my legs get the tiniest bit weaker#i was in the elevator with her recently but there was someone else and i couldn’t figure out the vibes but it wasn’t giving#like locked down whatsoever#i mean even the other person in the elevator was smiling at me in this way i can’t really figure out yk??#all i WILL say is that it was crazy sapphic energy in that last ride#i’m fantastic with reading body language so yes it’s all green flags to me but body language is not everything and i would rather DIE than#make someone feel uncomfortable that way based on my own interests you know??#like what if we’re just friendly flirting whenever we see each other and it’s not like— i wanna fuck or kiss you type flirting??#THE UNIMAGINABLE HORROR!! nah actually she was so pretty and sweet i would love to be friends with her#and her sense of style went so bonkers too#she was wearing a black skirt that went to like slightly higher than mid thigh with these black boots and she had tattoos and ugh i just—#if i can’t have her then i don’t deserve her#soooo anyways thanks bye that’s my late night confession of yearning
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Shanks lovesssss to call you his better half btw
#dopey grin. little lovesick chuckle#esp prone to throwing it out when talking to not-quite-allies#like fucking whitebead. which is crazy.#conversely when he’s threatening people you are ‘my girl’ and nothing else. he must make things very clear u see#pattering on the roof#char.🌧 shanks
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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.
#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her#and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura#he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life#deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was#he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least#he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship#but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way#Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless#he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it#she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone#he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home#he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes#Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon#but promises feel costly these days#he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura#someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here#his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them#but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here#he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention#he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods#he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.
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i realize how little i have in common with my peers simply because im not constantly on tik tok/instagram/facebook 👴
#first i just dont get 80% of the references bc i simply dont engage with them/im not curious enough about them#second new people or those that i know cant go 15 minutes without scrolling on their phone or texting#the few friends who would let me stay at their house would always sit on their phone the entire evening not really engaging with me#or trying to engage with me by showing me something they found on their phone.... girl-#i broke up with my last partner bc they were chronically online and wouldnt go to sleep without at least 1 hour of phone time in bed#im mainly complaining about the bed time phone usage thing bc it used to drive me crazy as an insomniac#and considering how many people do it just makes me completely disinterested in sharing a bedroom with other people#i am old so that must be it tho#i barely use my phone that thing can last 4 days on one battery charge (it's a good battery but still) despite my occasional yt usage#i like in person talking and i just think people lost touch with their social side the last few years :(#and it's hard for me to feel like im having an engaging conversation with someone if they're constantly checking their phone#it makes me feel really lowly of myself it hits my self-esteem hard bc this behavior shows me im too boring to have their attention#even tho they were the one to invite me over/go out with me... bro.#personal#delete later
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tumblr keeps reccing me posts i made in 2013, many of which are all-caps missives being really mad about some strawman troll of the week, and i'm like. girl. how did you have enough energy to give a fuck about any of this.
#if i'm kind to myself i must remember 2013 me was an unmedicated child under constant threat of conversion therapy#so naturally things like ableism and homophobia bothered me more then.#but also. girl. shut the hell up. people in the future can See You. crazy ass#Oh My God.
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so my one coworker i've talked about now knows that i'm into both venom and malevolent and that i use tumblr which says an awful lot about me but then my OTHER COWORKER TODAY started talking to me about ai characters. my purse bag thingay has hal 9000 and edgar electric dreams pins on them and we've literally spoken semi at length about 2001 and how much we love hal but somehow today we got to talking about the like media trifecta of ai characters. hal glados edgar AM etc yknow. and they sent me a fucking link to a tumblr post memeing about them. i am so severely tempted to reblog but it but i DO NOT WANT to provide a tangible link to my blog. screams. anyway the meme contained halman so i was talking to them about halman LMFAOOOO. like just fucking having a casual conversation about this shit in a public space. anyway said coworker then went on a half an hour long rant about the rainworld ai and at one point they were like "five pebbles gave himself cancer" and i said how does a giant supercomputer get cancer and they said "oh. well, there's meat in there" and literally, my first reaction was to gasp and exclaim, completely serious and ecstatic, "oh i LOVE meat i LOVE when machines have meat in them." me and this coworker having a deep philosophical conversation about death and meat machines and also halman in front of our like 17 year old coworker who has an ap exam tomorrow morning and another coworker our age who's falling asleep at their desk
#im intrigued i must admit but also i told them i cant do more than one media fixation at a time#and im currently on the m@levolent kick#and they said they understand U__U#also yes i was speaking about the s4 finale at work#WAIT I THINK THATS WHAT SPARKED THIS CONVERSATION ACTUALLY#cuz they were like hey i dont listen to mal yet but i know many ppl who do and they also like this other podcast#sayer? i think its called ???#and it has an evil/morally gray ai character as the narrator#and they were like i really think you'd enjoy it since you also like ai characters. like hal 9000 my beloved#and i was like so fucking true#and thats what sparked this whole thing i guess. me fucking talking about how i had my shit rocked by 40.2 on my drive this morning#brot posts#and i may in fact look into that podcast also just againw hen im like. not so crazy insane in the membrane over mal#also im podcasted out i miss listening to music on my drives U___U#so it'll be a hot minute before i pick up anything else. if i pick up anything else
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well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'
#me-- instantly stressed and near tears: I know you're joking and it's not even important but. that isn't funny. to me.#I really wish there was a term for 'gaslighting but they're not doing it on purpose'#this is distinct from simply 'being wrong' because 'that's definitely not what happened 🤨' is a key part of it#the other person trying to convince me that I'm wrong and I must be crazy-- not for manipulation purposes but because THEY forgot#and are MUCH more confident in the possibility that I'm completely full of shit than that they maybe can't remember exactly#this is an extraordinarily specific thing that nonetheless happens to me ASTONISHINGLY OFTEN.#I mean clearly often enough that I'm now hair-trigger sensitive upset about it#AND TO CLARIFY QUICKLY-- that's not what justin even did (this time) but 'well I don't remember that' is still...#OKAY WELL I DO. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER BELIEVE ME.#trembling and crying searching for Receipts while explaining to my husband that it's not even that I don't think he believes me (this time)#I just. I just. I just. I'm not fucking crazy. I know you don't think I'm crazy. but I still feel like I Have to prove it.#my mom sending a package to the wrong address and then saying-- confidently and irritably-- 'you never GAVE me a unit number'#when I can scroll back up through texts to where I sent her our new address when we moved and it was complete and correct#my friend during our big stupid fight saying 'no one actually AGREED to that [dnd] plan except you and justin 😒'#going back into my audio recording to that conversation where everyone BUT him agreed#including his fucking pick-me 'yeah jay's being shitty right now' brother whose character said 'this sounds like a good plan' verbatim#like. I KNOW it's not just 'my memory vs theirs and we both assume we're right'#because SO OFTEN when this happens I have FUCKING RECEIPTS. that I'M NOT WRONG OR CRAZY.#no one ever wants to entertain the notion that I might know what I'm talking about.#I can't stress enough that I'm not mad at justin right now he was very much 'no I believe you! it's weird that I don't remember though'#which is fair! honestly! but I'm a LITTLE. sensitive. of the fact that everyone always ALWAYS automatically assumes I'm incorrect#and very often in a way that's a mark against my competence or character.#'well *I* couldn't *possibly* have gotten the address wrong so YOU must have fucked it up'#you know. it's like that. it's like that a lot.#maybe this only happens to me so much because I happen to be cursed with remembering things better than most people#or maybe I'm uniquely viewed as incompetent. who can say.#about me
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spiraling again
#OOOOH it's just#part of her has just been flat out avoiding telling him; having that conversation with him because she doesn't know where it would go#'you know damn well why i couldn't tell you...it's hard' TERESA PLEASE#and part of her might have honestly assumed he DID know - he's always seemed to know everything about everyone; about her#and if she can assume (pretend) that he knows and he's just not bringing it up then he must not really care all that much#he must be ok with the idea of her leaving and that makes her decision just a little bit easier#that takes the burden of having the conversation off her; she doesn't have to worry about what he'd say#because she can pretend she already knows#(which is just crazy but my girl is going through a lot right now i'm more than ok with giving her all of the benefit of the doubt)#and now she's got to deal with the reality that him not knowing adds a massive wrinkle to any of her planning#if she tells him and he says don't go what does she do with that; what does that mean; how does she respond#and on the other hand if he says go....would he really say that; would he just be ok with letting her go after he just got her back#which possibility is better; which is worse; which way is the one she should take when both are terrifying#i'm going just as crazy as the first time send help#tm
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Literally nothing even HAPPENED I just had a weird conversation with Sap this morning and my back is goddamn killing me and I’m by myself in this fucking train car with no one to fucking call
#I wouldn’t call Sap anyways stuff’s too weird. Maybe it’s not but I feel like it is#They keep asking me what’s been up with Karl and I keep telling them to not worry about it#Because seriously if Karl wants to talk about it wish him she’ll bring it up.#And Sap and I were up this morning and he mentioned it again and I must’ve sounded pissy when I told him to just drop it#because he got pretty upset.#Like he was being kind of mean so I got kind of mean and so he got mad and it’s not like he’s scary when he’s mad#but I must I’ve looked some sort of way because all of a sudden they got all ‘sorry baby are you ok’ and I don’t WANT them being like that#when I was being just as much of a dick#So I kind of just ended the conversation and left for LN… And I don’t wanna talk about it LOL#Some of the stuff Sap said was pretty… ouch. Like he said something like#‘you two have to tell me stuff because when you don’t you disappear for ages and Karl goes crazy’ and was like ‘quit being proud’#And I don’t even know how it happened but fucking Dream came up of all things and they were like#‘killing someone is better than making their life hell’ and it was so fucking POINTED like he says it’s chill all the time#but it’s clearly fucking not. And it’s gonna be so awkward for the next couple of days 😭😭😭#Whatever. It’ll pass and we’ll be fine until it happens again#And it’ll pass again#Just. FUCK !!!#me
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"I, as a Straight White Man, am the one being discriminated against now."
#i kid you not a manager and I just had a massive argument in front of customers and colleages#and he said this#tbf I should have known the conversation would go downhill when he asked for clarification on something he didn't understand by demanding#i tell him how many genders there are and then claimed bi people must be crazy then because there's not one and the other#and now I have adrenaline pumping through my veins and my colleages are uncomfortable and my customers are annoyed
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Feels like theres an insane missed opportunity about irida character in the game cuz shes picked as leader after the war, FOR A REASON
#z rambles#< clearly do not fucking like everyones interpretation of her character#Okay silly little inexperienced young girl irida is fine but idc for it its not a trope im like excited for but its there#Still I just don't like how they made her to be this. I wouldn't say naive but clearly incompetent leader with the tropey protecting bs#but like. It don't make sense then why the fuck is she leader when theres other a LOT more competent people#There must be sth they saw in her that was like oh yeah shell guide us to a better future. We will have a life better than the current one#I'm just annoyed about it idk why I choose to be annoyed about it now#I do feel like no matter what everything. Protecting her people wouldve already been her intention to begin with#So making that the resolution for her at the end was kinda redundant#I feel like there's a lot more to her than whatever tf they gave her#Or that's cuz I'm crazy and whatever WHATEVER#from here on out I'm talking about Irida separated from the game >#Like. Shes picked as leader and sinner went with her probably cuz for what? Sinner doesn't stick to people they don't find worthwhile#Maybe theres this interest of like huh so the pearls have u as the leader now they must have a reason and I wanna see how it plays out#And I think during their first conversation sinner might've caught themself thinking oh this is just like great grand leader#Mostly cuz from their idea of uniting people and building a safety community and lack of trust in their power and knowledge#But idk there's sth there that made sinner caught themself reminiscing about the past#Anyways back to normal stuff >#Its just annoying cuz now even the whole palina is kinda petty about not being picked as leader shit even worse??#Like obv palina can be petty about it that's valid of her but writing irida off as this inexperienced clueless kid zero goal is just....#There's sth about it that set irida up for failure from the start and I don't like it#Also with this writing. It must makes palina case so much worse? Like she's not just petty here. Shes just. Kinda a bad friend#Also cuz palina character works on the tough love bs and I DO NOT like it one bit so#Its weeeeirddd#But pla is a really short game and it didn't establish much for our imagination and their time so#Its awful but it gives me room to imagine and. Complain.
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What I'm Made Of (Sonic Heroes OST) 🤝 With Me (Sonic and the Black Knight OST):
Final boss songs who's lyrics apply almost just as much to Sonic as they do to the villain he's facing
#im crazy im crazy#also i know with me is used as Merlina's leitmotif but like#you know who throughout all of satbk is like accepting being the villain of the story? Just like Merlina does? Sonic#He's literally like oh killing king arthur will make me the bad guy? oh well lol can't always be the hero#they're both willing to do what they must even if they become the villain because of it#''you know every world will have its end and i'm here to prove it all to you''#''i am who you don't think i am''#like come oonnnn that's exactly what Sonic and Merlina are arguing about throughout the final battle#and those lines could apply to either of them#AND THEN DONT GET ME STARTED ON WHAT IM MADE OF#that song people are more likely to immediately think of Sonic when they hear it for the first time#but if you listen from the perspective of Metal Sonic it's like mind blowing#especially since its such a sonic style song like its got such a familiar feel to all of Sonic's other Crush 40 themes#and I'm including Open Your Heart and Live and Learn in this#Open Your Heart is just Sonic singing directly to Perfect Chaos and Live and Learn is similar to the songs im talking about above#in that Live and Learn can apply just as much to Shadow as it can to Sonic it's their duet as they save the world from Gerald's plan#(insert an ''I'm Live'' ''and I'm Learn'' the Live and Learn Brothers joke here)#but anyway the point is that you think of those songs when you hear What I'm Made Of#it SOUNDS like a Sonic song#but then really you listen to it...... and it sure does sound like things Sonic would say yeah#but ultimately? It IS a Metal Sonic theme. And it is playing on the parralels between Metal and Sonic on purpose#''i don't care what you're thinking as you turn to me cause what i have in my two hands is enough to set me free''#LIKE THAT'S THE FIRST LINE IN THE SONG... Sonic is ALREADY free. You know who isn't and is doing everything in order to be free?#''let me show you just what i'm made of'' is a Sonic line but oh my god is it also a Metal line#dont get me fucking started on the verse about 'one by one they all become black marks on the floor' and how insane the implications make m#these boss songs are all CONVERSATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway. Sonic music good#sth#moodle rambles
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