#there have been many irl cases of extreme kindness i remember the feeling it definitely happens

[serialreblogger]

9, 10, 24?

9: What topic do you know a scary amount about?

lol thank you for asking lunar!! as y’all may know, my claim to fame is corvids (ask me about them! ask me about the funky lil goth geniuses goin through the stone age of tool use!), but i also know far too much about the original Dracula novel. You can also ask me about ADHD, Greek mythology, and 17th-19th century English literature, in which case the odds are fairly good I’ll have an answer (but not to the same extent as the first two). Also like. just ask me any question. as long as it’s not about mathematics the odds are 50/50 i’ll be able to answer it (if only bc i’m liable to go on a research binge to give you a thorough analysis of the situation)

10. What’s your favorite wild animal?

CROWS. I’M LOVE THEM. Ditto magpies and then all other corvids, as implied above. (I also very much love hedgehogs, though.)

24. What is something nice someone has done that you’ll never forget? 

Oh, gosh. There have been so many incredibly kind near-strangers and future friends who’ve reached out to me over the years, and honestly most of them have been tumblr-adjacent

(shoutout to you, lunar, for all the adorable animals in my time of need; also @hitsuaya for and @oliver-in-retrograde for each reaching out to initiate very different but equally meaningful conversations i’m still deeply grateful to have had; @imthesheikofaraby for that one audiorecording of my line of writing which I still pull out on rainy days; @existentialcrisisetcetera for being kind enough to share so many of your stories with me even tho i am a flake, y’all i cannot express how brilliant zach is or how happy hearing about his characters makes me on a regular basis; and if you see this, Snow Wyvern, the comment you wrote on my fic is still one of the kindest things I can remember anyone saying to me).

y’all are lovely, is what i’m saying 💖

[lazyliars]

/rp

Before I get into it, I want to state that is EXPLICITLY an analysis of the Characters, and is not intended to touch on how the cc’s played them in a meta sense unless specifically stated otherwise.

Also, this is technically a part two to my other post, which took a more in depth look at Techno and Phil’s reactions to Tommy’s death. It’s not necessary when reading this post, but I don’t address their reactions here.

So. The question must be asked.

Are we [the Syndicate] the baddies?

Yes.

The End.

 Why are the Syndicate the baddies?

They got damn logo is a wither skull.

The End.

That's not how this works.

Yeah, yeah. You’re right.

The Syndicate's goals as an organization are not inherently bad. They seem to have good intentions behind them, and the focus on the freedom of it's individual group members is important to remember when talking about it; It is not a government. There is no hierarchical power system. No one is forced to do anything against their will, or surrender any of their rights or power to remain a member. It is not a government.

I also want to address Techno and Phil backing Ranboo into a corner – I see them getting a lot of flack for this, but I personally do not think it is relevant to the greater discussion, or necessarily representative of any contradictions within the organization. It was clearly played for laughs, and after they back off they clarify to Ranboo that they won't force him. Then later when Phil and Ranboo are alone, Ranboo feels safe enough to express that he felt like he was pressured into it, and Phil assures him he is allowed to leave whenever he wants; He is not being forced to do anything, and he is not being coerced or blackmailed.

None of the Syndicate members have done any wrongs against each other in the context of the Syndicate, OR gone against any of the Syndicate's core principles.

That, said, holy shit are they the baddies.

Listen, there's trying to telegraph a meaning or message to the audience and then there's having your logo be wither skulls on blackstone. That is straight out of the skit I keep referencing, seriously.

Okay, but, they laughed at it! It was played as a joke, just like the Ranboo thing!

The Ranboo thing was improv, the Syndicate's headquarters were planned – the artistic choices that they made reflect on what role they want the build and the organization inhabiting it to play in the future storylines.

Wither Skulls kind of have some CONNOTATIONS. Techno is an English major, I don't think he chose the most threatening imagery possible on accident, and then joked about the way people would interpret it just to stir the pot. This reads as hugely intentional.

And beyond that, the jokes they make during this part aren't “haha yeah, we look bad but we're actually good!” they're “you can tell by looking at these that we're the good guys wink wink, this is good guy stuff right here :)” It is a joke about how they are definitely not the good guys. This isn't even a case of unreliable narrators, this is one step down from flat out saying the meta intent.

But okay, I hear you, I'm talking about things that haven't happened yet. The Syndicate hasn't used any Withers, they could be an aesthetic choice.  Lets look at what they do in practice.

So, they barge into private property, assess Snowchester's right to continue existing based entirely on their own ideals of what Freedom is, and then only once Tubbo assures them that they have no standing leader do they grant the place their approval to, and I gotta stress this part, continue existing.

 In my Quackity meta, I already talked about how Government in the context of a M1necraft RP cannot be compared to IRL Governments on a one-to-one scale. They don't serve the same purposes or have the same type of power. What I didn't talk about was Agency in the context of m1necraft governments.

In an irl government, if you are born into one, you can't really leave without committing a massive overhaul on your life, which can be expensive and difficult, if not impossible for many people. Even in a “benevolent” government, the simple physicality of where you were born can prevent you from leaving it easily.

The same hurdles do not exist in the Dream SMP. People who join M1necraft governments choose to. They want to, either at the beginning when they form one, or later on when they join up. So far, no Government has just Sprung Up and forced the current residents of an area to become dependent on them, except maybe the Eggpire, who's status as a government is... shakey.

And even when people want to leave or separate from the government, they have been historically able to do so without any trouble or any effort from said governments to stop them. Jack Manifold emancipated from Manberg. Fundy and Quackity both left to start new nations. In all cases they were allowed to do so without any attempts on the part of the governments to stop them, either through force, or institutions preventing them from doing so.

The most anyone has lost when leaving a government is their house, which is still usually their property anyway, and is something that is easily rebuilt elsewhere and is inconvenient to move anyway.

The only exceptions to this might be Schlatt exiling Wilbur and Tommy - but even then, they weren’t trying to leave, they were trying to get back in, and of course the original L’manberg revolution, where Dream attempted to force L’manberg back into the Dream SMP, which wasn’t even a government at that point in time.

I don��t consider Phil’s house arrest an example of a government forcing someone to stay a citizen - that was treated less as a matter of a citizen wanting to leave the country and more as a threat to national security. Still pretty fucked up, but it’s a different issue.

What I'm saying is, If Tubbo wants to create a government out in the middle of nowhere, threatening no one, forcing no one to join either through force or desperation, and allowing people to join willingly because they want to, then he should be allowed to do that.

The Irony of the Syndicate, a group of people consisting of some of the richest, strongest people on the server, going around and enforcing 'Freedom' that entails no one person having more power than any other, is absurd. 

It shows an extreme lack of self-awareness and/or self-righteousness, as they seem to think that they deserve to be the ones who decide what constitutes a government.

Snowchester is a small independent nation - they shouldn’t have to live in fear of being obliterated if they don’t walk on eggshells to meet an arbitrary standard decided by people who’s only authority on the matter COMES FROM THEIR PERSONAL POWER. No one elected them! No one chose them! They were not “approved” by the server at large to enact this kind of law.

The Syndicate are not a government, but they are an unsupervised power structure exerting their ideals on a land that did not ask for them. Like, These people have invented an actual Authoritarian-Anarchist faction. How the hell did they manage this?????

Back on topic.

Tubbo shows them the crater left by his nukes. The reaction is oddly positive – the nukes are fine by the morals of the Syndicate, apparently. I'd argue that they come across as more impressed than anything else; they seem to respect Tubbo for having gotten ahold of “real” power.

(There's a few good memes out there about “We can excuse nuclear weaponry, but we draw the line at Government!”)

So. By the Syndicate's standards: A single person or group of acceptably equal persons with weapons of mass-destruction are only worth “keeping an eye on” because they might provoke other people.

Like, I consider Project Dreamcatcher to be one of, if not the most morally ambiguous thing Tubbo has ever done, largely because it was all on his own initiative. He holds some culpability for The Butcher Army and Phil's house arrest, but they weren't his ideas and he was mostly following Quackity at that point.

And Phil tells Tubbo, IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING THE NUCLEAR CRATER:

“Looks like you've reformed a little bit Tubbo, I'm proud.”

And it's fine. Crimes against nature? Fine. A sign of healing in fact!! Tubbo is having a sweeeelll time and he definitely didn't make these nukes specifically in fear of being attacked by these exact people! Tubbo is doing great. Tubbo is doing fine. Tubbo. is. FINE.

Anyway.

I don't think this presentation of the Syndicate was an accident. Looking at the greater lore of SMP right now, after the Egg is done, their list of enemies is slim, and considering that they seem solely invested in taking down governments, that leaves maybe Snowchester, Kinoko Kingdom, and Eret and the greater Dream SMP.

Snowchester has not been shown to be corrupt, evil, or have any intent to go down that route. The most ambiguous thing they've done is, again, is the nukes. Other than that, it's pretty much your average cottagecore snow village.

Kinoko is presented in an even more morally 'good' light, Karl having founded it specifically for his Time-travel library purposes, which are currently being treated by the narrative as a selfless act, if not downright heroic.

Eret is also a fairly 'good' aligned character atm. He's been on that redemption grind since the og betrayal, and doesn't seem keen on backtracking. He's actively tried to leverage his position as king to make things better, and hasn't been quiet about that. He was also 'validated' by Tommy*, a character who has been described both by his allies and enemies as “the hero,” so take that as you will.

What I'm getting at is, all of the current potential enemies for the Syndicate aside from the Egg, are currently being cast as 'good,' and if they were to be attacked, they would undoubtedly have the moral high-ground, unless something drastically changed.

The only potential shakeups I can think of is are a Dream escape and/or a Wilbur revival, both of which could draw the Syndicate's attention and ire, depending on how things go. That said, it's just as likely that either or both of them would join the Syndicate – Dream still has that favor, and Phil and Techno both seemed to think Wilbur would've agreed with their blowing up L'manberg.

Both of those characters are currently **villains – the fact that they're both prime candidates for the Syndicate is a huge indication of the direction it's going to go as the plot moves forward.

((*I know some people are gonna come at me for painting Tommy as the “deciding factor” of what is morally good, so lemme just stop you there. I'm not talking about Tommy somehow having the 'right' to decide who is and isn't good, and definitely not the right to decide who should and shouldn't be king. I'm saying that Tommy, a character who the narrative treats as, if not a good person, then a person who is trying to be good, was in support of Eret, a character who has also been trying to be good.

Eret doesn't gain the moral highground because Tommy said so, he gets it because a character who the narrative treats as trying to do better, acknowledged Eret's earnest attempts at doing the same.

**I'm referring to Wilbur here as a villain because Tommy seemed convinced he would be if he were to be brought back. There is always the possibility that he's wrong.))

So, to summarize this: I read the Syndicate as being intentionally positioned as future antagonists, if not outright villains of a future arc. They are NOT a Government but their goals are contradictory with their means, and it is important to keep in mind that they plan to enforce their own brand of freedom on people who did not grant them either the authority or permission to do so.

So, uh. Can you tell I loved these streams? They were seriously so good. I kept switching between Ranboo and Techno's POV's trying to keep up with everything. I still have to watch Niki's!

All in all, I'm super, super excited for whats coming next, egg stuff, Syndicate stuff, Tommy stuff, all of it.

[blossom-hwa]

Mutuals as TBZ?

so this has been sitting in my ask box for at least a week (probably more like two) and I'm so sorry, I just have not had the time to put thought into this but now I’m a little free and I need some way to calm myself before an interview tomorrow so here we go

not all mutuals featured here just bc I don’t know some of them well enough to match them :( I'm v sorry!!!!

@wingkkun - Kevin, Kevin, there is no one in mind but our very own Kevin Moon!!!! kai, you are v v creative and I love you v much but you also exhibit a sort of messy sweet chaos that I immediately connect with Kevin :D you’re both a bit of a mess but an extremely lovable mess and idk I think Kevin would also come screaming into his friend’s dms over random ideas. you also art sometimes! and yeah idk there are a lot of similarities you resonate with our moon boy Kevin <3

@chaninfused - listen furat is changmin through and through. both of you seem so sweet at first but then??? the strange interests come through??? thank god furat isn’t into horror (to my knowledge, do not correct me if I'm wrong I don’t want to know) but your yt recs?? your favorite memes?? what the fuck furat. anyway yeah you both look sweet but there is much hidden chaos beneath that and I wouldn’t be surprised if furat bit people irl too tbh

@kittenanonnie - I was stuck between haknyeon and hyunjae bc of two specific incidents: haknyeon screaming FUCK YEAH I ATE CHICKEN YESTERDAY when hyunjae was forced to squat with him on his back for a mission and hyunjae’s MWOHASEYO but I'm going to go with haknyeon bc he causes chaos for fun and to mess ppl up. remember him in that toddler suit?? and also he was like HELL YEAH about the chicken bc hyunjae would suffer and you know what I think max fits the description. don’t argue w me

@banhmi07 - ERIC. I debated between you and kai for Kevin bc you both seem like best friend material but I think kevin’s a bit more of an artistic mess whereas Eric is just. /a mess/ anyway if Eric were my friend I feel like he’d send me random shit at random hours and you do that too?? and they’d always make me feel better esp if I had a shit day and everything you send me does that too :) especially pictures of nori!!! Eric would send memes yea but he’d also send pictures of cute dogs and idk both of you give off sweet messy bff vibes mwah <3

@deathbykpopboys - Jacob. absolutely fucking Jacob there is no contest here. sunny is the absolute sweetest person ever and so kind when I come screaming to you about random ideas and yeah. you emanate mom vibes even behind a screen and are the definition of a Jacob person!! I feel like I can come to you with anything (and if I were friends with Jacob I'd feel the same with him) and idk you both seem to be v comforting and I appreciate it <3

@thepixelelf - I debated between chanhee and sunwoo for casey but I'm settling with chanhee just bc sunwoo is a Big Coward and even though chanhee gets scared he gets scared less??? idk casey you give off vibes like you’re not scared of everything and it’s something I v much admire about you :) he’s also smart and you give off v smart vibes too. but the main reason I'm matching you two is bc chanhee is a salty little shit and I love it about him and casey also does not take ppl’s shit. case in point I will not take objections

@wavesmp3 - this was hard but I'm matching younghoon w shawna. younghoon is quiet for the most part (I'm thinking of him in the 100) and even though idk if you’re the exact same in that way, you both give of v introspective vibes that I really admire :) even though younghoon does some stupid shit he strikes me as someone who thinks a lot about those around him, and shawna you give me the same feeling. plus younghoon is cute af and I'm willing to bet my existence that shawna is cute af and no you may not argue <3

bonus: baker anon - juyeon. you show me shit that makes me want to scream (the equivalent of juyeon being onstage) but when I fight back w fics then you go quiet HA. but you also have a savage side that juyeon has too (I've watched too many compilations of him being funny af aka roasting his members) and you’re v v funny in my inbox and I love you v much :)

(where am I in all this? I'm sangyeon trying to write my fics and do my schoolwork WHILE forcing a bunch of idiots in my dms/inbox to go to sleep at a normal fucking hour Jesus Christ) 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers  /  the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

[laufire]

I received a bunch of asks centered around Daenerys a few days ago, so I decided to gather them all together.

what is your opinion on daenerys? i feel like there are basically two extremes with her. either she’s a racist, colonialist, impearialist, white savior, who was always a villain and destined to turn into her father. or she’s a kind, caring, compassionate revolutionary heroine, who dedicated her life to freeing slaves and would have made Westeros a better place. you’re one of the few people on this hell it’s capable of nuanced thought so i really wanted to get your take. 

She’s definitely a character that raises strong opinions lmfao. Personally, I think that’s a testament in her favor. I’m flattered that you though of me but idk if I’m the best person for this post lol, given how sporadically I watched the show and that I read the books a decade ago. But I’ll give it a go.

First of all I want to make one thing clear: stopping slavery and killing slavers is ALWAYS a net positive. Period. I don’t think pointing out she used horrifying methods is beyond the scope of what’s reasonable (torture is always despicable, and I don’t consider this a matter of opinion), though I question the good faith of most people I’ve seen doing it in this site... but like I say: if the end result is freed slaves, the balance is positive no matter what happened in the meantime, AFAIC. What Daenerys did before arriving to Westeros was incontestably good simply for that reason, and I won’t hear any other opinion on the matter, ever.

The white savior accusations are a thorny topic. I don’t know how much I can say about them because of my limited info, especially since I’ve missed most of her storyline outside Westeros. I also can’t remember much of this in the book, but I’ve seen metas mentioning the races of those she interacted with weren’t as clear and the show made a choice of explicitly using non-white actors? IDK. I’ve seen debates with strong arguments for either case (like those about how she’d been victimized herself in similar ways so it’s not exactly a cause she’s appropriating from up high), so I’m unsure about how much the accusations fit her. I’d say in terms of visual allegory they do -those images of her surrounded by adoring brown and black people are meant to invoke that image IMO.

IDK if “imperialist” is the right word (it carries a lot of IRL historical context, okay. This is also why I froth in the mouth whenever I see people calling Star Wars villains “literal nazis” like please I’m begging you to stop) but she was a conqueror and an aspiring monarch with endless ambition, and an invasor to Westeros (do NOT come at me with heritage and legitimacy arguments I seriously have no patience for pro-monarchy shit today okay xD) and I don’t see the point of denying it or hand-waving it, or acting like people in Westeros have no reason to suspect her or hate her. Especially when Cersei was proven right about her xD.

I think she can be kind, and compassionate, and revolutionary (or at least more than most nobles in the show. Which is also why she was the last villain, because conservative heroes vs. revolutionary villains are A Thing). I also think she can be cruel and rash and cruel and blind to reality. I disagree with people saying her turn at the end was OoC. It might be rushed, it might go against the image many had of her and it might’ve been poorly handled and misogynistic, but I completely buy she could be pushed to that point. She’s an Anakin, babe.

Two points I want to make here: people that say the true “subversive” ending would’ve been to have her triumph are... well. I’m going to be nice and say they’re just wrong. Please, tell me how “lost heir returns and conquers and defeats enemies, and establishes their so-called benevolent power (except not really, because monarchy is an inherently malignant institution) like the Gods intended” subversive. I’m waiting! Seriously, you can want something to happen on a show without it being ~progressive and still call yourself a leftist, okay. It’s fiction. Live a little.

Another is that I’m never going to believe the generalized outcries of “misogyny!!” would’ve happened if the end would’ve been turned around: every female character getting a horrible, humiliating ending except for Daenerys. People would have CELEBRATED that, called it inspired and some shit like that. Not everyone, because Sansa’s fans are numerous enough, but that would’ve been the dominant voice and it would’ve been awful.

i think in a way there are some parallels between stefan/elena/caroline and jon/daenerys/sansa. they’re both cases where the pilot ship (stelena/jonerys) got overridden by a another male character (klaus/ned). and then despite dying he still shapes the narrative of the show, and then the female characters tied to them (caroline/sansa) gets a triumphant and single ending. one big difference is that for most of the tvd fandom elena was the preferred girl, whereas in got fandom it was sansa. (1/2)

although interestingly enough i feel like there has been more backlash towards sansa in recent years. i do think there are sectors of fandom who see arya or daenerys as the female lead. i do think it says something that the reaction to daenerys’s death was so. also i find it kind of funny how despite sansa winning, many sansa stans were upset because jonsa wasn’t endgame, not realizing that the reason sansa won was because jon flopped! the pilot bias is strong with the audience. (2/2)

I basically agree with all this lol. IDK that Arya had that much incidence on the fandom, but the comparison between those two canons holds up IMO. And yes, lol at the last part. Sansa stans should’ve been static she and Jon never crossed into romantic territory. Caroline’s situation is slightly different because she had Klaus (who is a generally stronger character than Ned and tied to her romantically, not in a father-daughter bond), and I think it was necessary for her that SC happened so she’d “conquer” Stefan lol, but it’s good for Sansa that she could “defeat” him without having to go there.

what would you say were jon and jonerys’s structural weaknesses? i think him telling sansa and arya about his true parentage, effectively choosing his family over danerys, was the moment i knew they were doomed. but there where probably a bunch of earlier signs to pick up on with both the character and the ship. do you think the fact that they waited so long to introduce jon/dany was an early sign? 

That was effectively the last nail on the coffin, yup.

I think the main issue is that they (and GRRM) tried to be ~quirky about it, by having their storylines separated for so long. Trying to be quirky about a ShowTP often seems to doom them, it seems. The tried and true methods work for a reason lol: we’re all familiar to them, we’re all conditioned to like them... It’s sad but it’s true.

A sadder argument... I think, at least when it came to audience reaction (and possibly the writers, in a more insidious, slow way), Daenerys’ rape in the pilot put a lot of people off her. Not consciously, but... There are certain unwritten rules about what happens to female leads and how or how they react to it. What happened to Daenerys broke those rules, and for a lot of people that meant that in their gut, they could never accept her as the true female lead of the show.

It reminds me of Arrow’s fandom’s reaction to Laurel: to them, she couldn’t be the female lead, the real love of Oliver’s life, because he had cheated on her. Everything else in the show pointed that way, but that was too big of a deviation from the norm. So she got “demoted” in their eyes, they started looking down on her. I think something similar, and even more vile, happened with Daenerys (in general, GOT’s fandom’s reactions to rape storylines are despicable btw. But that’s a whole other argument).

I'd say I see Elena in Daenerys. Her whole "I'm going to smash the wheel" speech by which she meant put herself on top of the wheel read very Elena to me. "I'm doing this thing for everyone else even though it very obviously benefits me and gives me power and control" tho tbf, that might be more clarke griffin than strictly elena 

i actually see some parallels between daenerys and mary stuart from reign. in that they are both queens in their own right, and they wield their own hard power (dany more than mary), but their success is still in many ways dependent on being attractive to men. (obviously their endings were very different, mary had a happy endgame, daenerys...did not)

do you see any parallels between daenerys and buffy? 

I think here we run into the issue that, although Daenerys is a character I like, I don’t usually get ~deep meta thoughts~~ about her, which is what leads to me intuitively finding parallels lmfao (in the opposite end of the spectrum you have characters like Dean Winchester, who I dislike soooo much as a person but I could talk about for pages and pages and pages xDD).

I can see the argument of Mary being sort of... half-way between Daenerys and Elena. Closer to Elena, IMO, but I see it.

I do agree on the wheel speech been About Daenerys lmfao. It just screams of THAT kind of thing. Neither Elena nor Clarke went that far into Revolutionary Mode TM, IMO, but it falls within the scope of that kind of character. Even if I don’t like comparing Daenerys to either of them lmfao (especially not Clarke. Daenerys never pretended she didn’t like power at the very least xD).

I really don’t see the comparison between Buffy and Daenerys. Maybe I’m missing something here? And I’m of the opinion that if you look hard enough, in a canon with enough extension over the years, you could find parallels between almost anyone, shallow as they might be xD. But I’m not seeing it. Buffy is her own animal, js :P

[piilokarsastus]

Question time!

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? because life is hard and i just don’t understand what i’m doing wrong but everyone else seems to know

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? nope. and to be fair, i would be sleeping anyway

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? if it’s like an actual thing for them that they do regularly, i’d probably be a bit concerned, but i don’t see anything wrong with trying things out for fun. if you’re just a straight up pothead, we wouldn’t be dating in the first place

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? i guess

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? filling in another pointless question post on tumblr, funny that you should ask

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? unlikely scenario, but i’m gonna say my friends from uni

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? probably spend the next few years thinking about it, unable to trust anyone again

8: Are you close with your dad? not as close as with my mum but still reasonably close

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? i’m curious as to what kind of life you think i’m living because this is not it

10: What are you listening to? the soothing hum of my laptop fan

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? woter:)

12: Do you like hickeys? i don’t exactly understand the point

13: What time do you go to bed? going to bed and falling asleep are two very different things but usually around 2-4

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? me. it’s me.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? definitely not

16: Do you always answer your texts? sooner or later, yes

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? no

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? not that long ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? all of my friends

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? aight imma head out

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? no

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? in a sense i do

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? i feel like i was, yeah

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? well there’s nothing to “fix” per se, i just wish things went differently

25: In the past week, have you cried? yes

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? red

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? my aunt often does, weirdly enough

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? only every single one of the 4 people i’ve messaged on tinder recently. which makes me feel really great

29: Do you have a best friend? there’s someone i could perhaps call my best friend but i don’t think i have a “true” best friend at the moment like those i’ve had before

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? no i’m completely neutral towards her

31: Who was your last call from? my friend tried to call me yesterday but i couldn’t answer

32: Are you mad at anyone? no

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? marginally, yes

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? honestly i don’t know?? i don’t remember when she was born exactly but i feel like we were born in the same year at least, so i’m guessing either 21 or 22

35: How many more days until your birthday? 329

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? summer literally just ended so no

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? not exactly a fan of the word opposite in this context but i get what you mean. so yeah, most of my friends are of the “opposite” sex

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? nothing that would be their business to know

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? i guess i do.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? i haven’t kissed nearly enough people for there to be any regrets. soo... would you like to be my first regret? haha just kidding... unless...

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? not going to write the essay that the wording of this question warrants but basically yes but only to some extent; what’s more important is that you’re in a similar phase in life and have similar expectations about the relationship. age can be a large factor in those things as well as your “maturity” but it isn’t the only factor.

42: Are you available? yeah bitch hmu

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? two

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? well i guess it’d have to be a septum, then

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? yes, in fact that’s my life philosophy

46: Do you regret anything? :)) i don’t think about it as much as i used to but i’ve never fully forgiven myself for confessing my feelings to someone who wasn’t interested in me. this is known as the february 2019 incident

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? tiddies

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? yeah, not to death but to life

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? no

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? i don’t quite like anyone at the moment and it’s gonna take a long time until i’m ever going to have the courage to make a move on anyone i’m interested in because of the aforementioned incident

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? no

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? no, like there’s nothing negative between us and we’d say hello if we met on the street but we just don’t talk 

53: What was the last thing you ate? pancake:)

54: Did you get any compliments today? haven’t really interacted with anyone today so no

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? bich this is my vacation, i’m going nowhere except to bed

56: Do you own anything from other countries? yes. like i’m a bit amused by this question like where on this planet can you even live where at least some of your stuff hasn’t been made in China etc. (well, i guess that would be China). but even if you’re referring to souvenirs from trips etc, still yes

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life? in Oulu, Finland

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? a few months ago, but i wasn’t the one driving

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? yes, also known as the game where my friends try to find out who i have a crush on

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? i had to google what TPing means and i’m more and more scared of americans every day

62: Who do you text the most? honestly my social life is at a point where my most common recurring interaction is exchanging cat videos with my mum (apart from group chats)

63: What was the last movie you saw? the matrix

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? yeah as if i have one

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 2010?? damn i was literally 10

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? we were around the same age

67: Do you curse around your parents? for comedic effect

68: Are you happy with where you live? not my dream apartment but it’s okay

69: Do you collect anything? my tiktok seems to have become a collection of about 250 cute lgbt folks, but other than that, no

70: What’s your favourite colour? a kind of deep, ultramarine blue

71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone? not in particular

72: Has anyone ever cheated on you? no

73: What are your plans for tomorrow? make some music

74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? i don’t have any

75: Does your last ex have a job? not that i know of

76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? she is and i’m happy for her, or as happy as i can be while being painfully aware of the fact that my love life hasn’t gone anywhere in the past two years

77: Where is your cellphone? on the floor, charging

78: What colour is your cellphone? black and bronze

79: What did you dream of last night? it was something fairly nsfw and extremely hot and i lterally had to pause for a second when i woke up because damn it’s been so fucking long since i’ve experienced that irl and it left me with a bad case of yearning

80: Are you atheist? yes

81: Will you change your name when you get married? no

82: Are you ready for autumn weather? would be a bit too late if i wasn’t

83: Have you had any big storms recently? there was one that was rumoured to be really big but tbh i barely noticed it 

84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing? just my comfy pajamas

[dedicatedfollower467]

DIRK’S PESTERQUEST ROUTE REACTIONS AS THEY HAPPEN

spoilers etc. yada yada yada i’ve been waiting for this for fucking EVER.

this is fucking massive, for the record.

“The one and only” lmao suuuuuuure whatever you say dirk.

i fucking adore his metal scuba suit though holy SHIT

“[talking in meatspace] isn’t exactly my forte” akdfsljkadsfhksadf you bet your ASS it isn’t mr. strider. (at this point i’m assuming this is actually hal, wouldn’t be the first time that we met “dirk” and it turned out to be hal)

the power of his own “voice” is almost too much for him MY CHILD.

OH HELLO HAL. GOOD TO SEE YOU USING YOUR USUAL RED. LOVE THE THEME MUSIC CHANGE TOO. IT’S GOOD MUSIC.

i fucking KNEW it i fucking knew that was hal lmao

so in that case HI DIRK HELLO MY ASSHOLE BABY CHILD.

“The use of the speaker system is new, but it makes sense he’d up his game for interfering with relationships I’m busy forging in 3D. I guess I should go ahead and be proud of him for it.” god i really wish dirk and hal could get along but they both hate themselves and therefore each other way too much for that...

“Every line of muscle in his body is held in excruciating placidity. You’ve never seen a jaw so purposefully unclenched” dIRK!!!!

“you’ll prove it to him with your deeds. it seems like that might be his love language” BOY FUCKING HOWDY IS IT. also how did i never put that together before ofc dirk’s love language is acts of service practically everything he does is an attempt to serve his friends in some capacity and he’s SO BAD at telling them with words.

(his secondary love language is gifts, evidence: brobot and detective pony)

god i’m so excited and so nervous lmao

i love this sprite with the verrrrrry slight smile he looks so sweet.

hell yes the fucking ROCKET BOARD.

“this is a much more comfortable thing for him than the conversation was” I’LL FUCKING BET IT IS.

“with Dirk it’s almost like he’d be less penetrable without [his shades]” oh well now THAT’S an interesting thought/observation.

holy shit that’s a cute fucking smile holy shit holy shit look at that grin AHHHH I’M DYING MY BOY IS SMILING.

“Not sure how well my deep, personal beef with the imagery of the sea will land for you, but there it is.” WELL THAT CERTAINLY MAKES THAT ONE LINE FROM HOMESTUCK 2 A LOT MORE EMOTIONAL, WHICH IT ALREADY DEFINITELY FUCKING WAS.

“Ace Attorney monologue” OMFG HAS DIRK PLAYED AA??? WHO’S HIS FAVORITE CHARACTER? WHAT’S HIS FAVORITE GAME?? i mean he’s definitely got the hair to be a fucking ace attorney character especially in pesterquest lmao

OH MY FUCKING GOD IS HE HOLDING BACK A LAUGH. IS THAT WHAT THAT MOUTH IS. HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE THIS ALKJADSFLADHADS

“He’s leaning forward, laughing, dimples carved into his freckled cheeks. There’s a small twist in your heart about it, and you can’t place why.” A *SMALL* TWIST? A SMALL TWIST? TRY A TWIST THAT’S WRENCHING MY HEART WIDE FUCKING OPEN AND SPILLING ITS CONTENTS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE.

“At least make me try and earn it first.” THAT’S THE MOST DIRK THING I’VE EVER HEARD AND ALSO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

“I can just fold [my hand] and hope your shit works out instead.” Ah yes, dirk’s incessant and almost pathological need to be in control at work again.

“I want to be the only one in charge of endangering my own life. You got me.” oh dirk. oh honey.

“How much has this boy wanted to be known?” oh okay yeah that’s fine i didn’t need my heart anyway pesterquest, you can have it.

oh. hi ultimate dirk. i fucking knew this was gonna fucking happen.

“i can’t believe i was ever this pathetic” LEAVE HIM ALONE. (but also i know you can’t because you fucking hate yourself and it’s fucking tragic)

OH. OH OKAY WE’RE NOT JUST GONNA BE FUCKING NARRATIVE WE’RE GONNA BRING THE ACTUAL FUCKING DUDE HERE.

AND WE’RE GONNA PLAY AN OMINOUS-ASS VERSION OF "BEATDOWN” HOLY SHIT. CHRIST CAN WE GET ANY MORE HEAVY HANDED HERE????

also holy shitting christ ultimate dirk is swole. ‘twink ass bitch’ my ass, he’s at least a twunk.

“You fuck off and let people live their arcs.” NO FUCKING WAY, NOT IF HIS IS GOING TO END UP AS YOU, DICKHEAD.

“Oh fuck.

You remember it.

You remember Homestuck.”

well, probably not all of it, it’s pretty goddamn long, and very hard to remember all the details. i should know, i’m currently re-reading it.

oh no.

oh no, this looks like regular dirk but ominous “beatdown” is playing which makes me very fucking nervous.

“You cared about him before you knew every tiny fucked up detail about his life, and now, with a reminder of where his story leads leaning smugly against the railing, you find you still do.” YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I DO!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

“He’s intense and pushy and profoundly complicated, and right now he is helping you to your feet, his hand steady and firm on your back as you find your balance.” I’M CRYING.

“This isn’t as simple as an evil Dirk and a good one. If you’ve learned anything from your travels it’s that everyone has the capacity for hurt inside them, and everyone the capacity for love.” I’M STILL CRYING.

“The combo of all splinters of Dirk, fermenting in his flesh container and not holding onto his shit nearly as well as he likes to pretend” an apt and succinct description of ultimate dirk.

“No, I can see it. If anyone was going to pull off an “I’m you, but stronger,” it would be all of me, combined.” DIRK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

“Your allegiance is not to the story, but to the people within it.” A-FUCKING-MEN MSPAR!!!

“The ends always justifies the means, Dirk.” I feel like that’s the breaking point there. IDK what’s going to happen next but that line sure was a line about philosophy, aka one of Dirk’s biggest special interests.

“[Ultimate Dirk] doesn’t have to work overtime to create more pain just so he can feel like he’s in control of how much punishment he gets and how badly he deserves it!”

oh.

oh wow.

oh WOW that’s hitting it on the fucking nose, MSPAR.

“He’s going to drown in [longing and loathing and Ultimate Dirk] if you don’t do something” STOP COMING BACK TO THAT GODDAMN LINE PESTERQUEST YOU’RE FUCKING KILLING ME HERE.

“You know how he loves -- though it’s fierce (to a definite fault), he does not do it easily.” STOP MURDERING MY HEART WITH PERFECT SNAPSHOTS OF DIRK AS A PERSON EVERY TWO SECONDS MSPAR I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

AHHHHHHHH IT’S DAVE!!! IT’S FUCKING. CANDY DAVE. I JUST. I CANNOT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

“you look like someone ironed the mayor so that’s a million more points in your favor” DAAAAAAVE!!!!

“Dave pulls him into a short, back-thumping bro hug which Dirk weathers like a wet cat not trusting a towel to dry him off.” AAAAAHHHHHHHH I’M FUCKING DYING I’M DYING I’M DYING HELP I’M DYING GOD HELP HOLY SHIT, FIRST OF ALL, THE SPRITE/ILLUSTRATION, SECOND OF ALL, THAT DESCRIPTION OF DIRK, THIRD OF ALL I’M FUCKING DYING

CANDY DAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

you deserve so much better than the raw hand the candy epilogue dealt you jfc.

“Bringing fucking guns to a knife fight here.” I mean, did you really expect MSPAR to play fair when the health and happiness of all their best friends is at stake, UD?

SAD ENDING IS SAD.

“Be good to that me, will you? Treat him right?”

dirk, this is yourself. you’ve never treated yourself right. ever. tbqh you probably never will. ultimate dirk is absolutely no different.

(but also this makes me wonder if we’re gonna see “Trust yourself” timeline Pesterquest Dirk showing up in Homestuck 2? That would be fucking wild I’d love to see that.)

“are we anti-ocean here”

“Oh yeah, extremely.”

YES, WE FUCKING ARE, AND AGAIN WITH THE REFERENCES TO HOMESTUCK 2 JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

oh, of fucking course ultimate dirk’s a sore loser, he’s ultimate dirk, fucking duh.

“You did it. You got him a good end.” i fucking love that this game is literally just. explicitly saying exactly what i was freaking over and desperately wanted.

like i’m just gonna take a moment here to admit that i was really nervous that dirk would end up like candy timeline dirk and just off himself. i was really afraid that a good end just straight up wasn’t possible.

i love that it’s not. and i equally love that the game acknowledges that a FUCKTON of us really wanted to give him that.

“Maybe [Doc Scratch] and Ultimate Dirk were working together the whole time.” maybe doc scratch has been ultimate dirk this whole time. or vice versa.

“There are just so many details to remember” lmao i made that point like a dozen paragraphs up.

i.... do not recognize the text style of whoever just say “hey. we can talk about this.”

IT’S HUSSIE. HOLY SHIT. IT’S DEFINITELY 100% HUSSIE.

i....... don’t know who that is? the woman?

is this like. the person who’s been running pesterquest?

it totally is.

i don’t know who that is i don’t know enough about the homestuck machine to know who that actually is.

lmao ultimate dirk and the irl director are fighting over how incredibly self-indulgent this metanarrative is, which is fucking amazing. i kind of love this? i really kind of adore this.

i can’t help but notice that the director has blank white eyes.

i.e. the Author is already dead, yo.

“They’re just an artifact of the medium” HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS FANTASTIC. I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN HERE.

“I’d say thanks but I feel like you all got more out of it than me” I’M DYING I LOVE THIS HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY.

“Stop flirting with my audience you anime ass motherfucker” LMAOOOOOOOO

“I wouldn’t look like this if you didn’t want me to” I KNOW I’M JUST QUOTING BASICALLY THIS WHOLE THING BUT LISTEN I LOVE IT, I FUCKING LOVE IT, IT’S FUCKING PERFECT, GOD. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS SO GOOD.

“I actually let the artists have a lot of creative license” somebody’s horny for ultimate dirk.

eridan DESERVES that gender arc and i’m excited for him.

“Happy people don’t get stories told about them.” I’m sorry, I’ve read enough Domestic Fluff fanfic to tell you that’s just blatantly not true, Ultimate Dirk.

wait.

wait wait wait wait.

pesterquest is a RETCON???????????

THAT was not something i was expecting

you click “don’t” betray your friends and pesterquest just fucking closes like this is fucking undertale jesus fucking christ.

but....

i don’t wanna betray my friends.

but i wanna see what happens....

god dammit this is exactly like the murder run of undertale, i don’t wanna do it but i have to know.

“Andrew Hussie would never do this to me” yeah well, Andrew Hussie barely ever interacted with you soooooo...

and if i throw the beta in the sewer again pesterquest quits. again.

i mean, i knew it would but... *sigh*

that’s a fucking depressing ass ending.

... except that “Savior of the Waking World” still hasn’t been unlocked...

Huh.

I’m... gonna see what happens if I start John’s route over again.

oh duh, of course it’s a retcon, MSPAR touched the Homestuck juju. i forgot about that.

(a big part of me wants to look up the process of getting the true ending. but a bigger part of me wants to figure it out for myself.)

hmmm. okay so replaying john’s ending once didn’t do it.

i guess i coooooould try replaying the whole thing? that sounds. like a lot of effort.

or i could try not betraying my friends approximately five million times let’s see what happens if i do that.

i’m going to do that experimenting in another post cuz this is already huge. see ya in part two.

[ziracona]

ur more hardcore about research than i am, is there any irl basis for like, the names and symbols of philip’s add-ons, or his facepaint?? do u have any headcanons about them??

 Hi! Sorry this took so long. I got extremely sick and it really took me out over like a 48 hour fever period, and this question required thought to answer, so I couldn’t until now. TuT

So. Yes and no is the answer. I think the names of his add-on symbols are not real words (I am not a linguist, and only have my own research to answer this with, but from the amount I was able to look over languages, I found no commonality?) I cannot say this with 100% assurance, because while I made the best and most informed guess for Philip I could when writing, based on the etymology of his name, I have no assurance the devs cared about that when naming the character, and there are so many distinct cultural groups with their own languages throughout all of the different countries in Africa ( many of which it is infuriatingly difficult to find information on -- also thanks devs for giving us an entire continent and /never/ pinning that search area down to even one single country for 100% sure TuT), and I spent more time looking at the ones that seemed most likely at the time (Igbo, Bantu, and Hausa), so it is possible they did take specific words from an existing language I could not find information on. However, I did spend a huge amount of time researching this originally, and then a little again tonight, because it’s been two years and you never know when new information might become available, so I feel relatively safe in hazarding this guess lol. Especially considering the dev’s track records when it comes to anything regarding race or culture. : / Unfortunately.

As far as his paint/body paint goes, that is again a yes and a no? And in a very similar way. There are tons of very complex and very different traditions throughout African people groups (thanks again devs for giving us such a small and not remotely varied area here :’- ), that do involve body paint for specific ceremonies or events, but not in the same ways as each other. I kind of highly doubt, though, since the devs haven’t even ever officially picked a country for my boy Philip, that they really gave a damn about basing his ceremonial attire on something real and specific, which is shitty, obviously, but probably the case? (I mean, I get them maybe not wanting to involve a specific culture and tradition in their video game man’s killing-people attire, but like, uh, there was definitely an answer to that problem that was not treating ‘of vaguely African tradition’ as a catch-all design wise). I wish I could give you a better answer for that, but they don’t leave a lot of information, so I don’t know which of many traditions they could have been vaguely referencing when coming up with his design, or if they really had a specific one in mind at all. In a very basic sense, though, yes, there is some reality-set basis to his body paint. And it’s possible the OG designer did some real and good work when coming up with him, since the OG game seems to have had a lot better work than some of the more recent updates, and that just never made it into published and written info for my boy and has been moved on past now. Same-ish answer for symbols. I don’t think any of them are real anything, but that they are vaguely based on not one but many vaguely visually similar things.

As far as my own takes go, I don’t have any specific cool thoughts to share relating to the game-established stuff Philip has, since I couldn’t research it since it doesn’t appear to really have factual basis, but I did do research for the things I added to his repertoire (like the shield he uses, and the sunset--although that’s not his, it’s borrowed from Vigo--and some stuff later in-fic), based on that heritage, and that was really cool to learn about! I have already made this a kinda chunky answer so I won’t go into detail and will try to give a super-fast basics summary, but for Philip in ILM, back when I started writing, I was of the opinion the devs had definitely had specifics in mind when creating him, and just been super vague, so I tried really hard to pin that down realistically based on what I did have, which brought me to Nigeria or Niger based on the etymology of his name, and after doing my best at that, I did research to find the most likely people groups within the area I ended up settling on (Nigeria was more likely) and then stuck to the background I decided on once I made a choice based on the little info we were given in-game, and studied a lot about them. ILM Philip Ojomo is Nigerian, and has Hausa and Igbo heritage mentioned in the fic, and has adopted cultural practices from both (with specifically some Bori on the Hausa side I think referenced most, which is where a lot of his spiritual background comes from). It is not uncommon for there to be mixed practices for people growing up there, which is his situation. Plus, along with that, it would have been a really complicated and hard time for Philip to be a child and to grow up, because he would have lived through the Nigerian Civil War and fallout while very young, which involved several million deaths and a targeted genocide of the Igbo people. He’s definitely got a fractured background, but instead of having no identity because of that, he holds pretty tightly to the chunks of the several that he has connections to and still remembers them as an adult, far from home. 

[fangqueen]

I feel like the English HP fandom has become more and more toxic over the yrs and with a new scandal popping up every like 30 sec from the creator it doesn't help. It's like ppl will judge you for liking certain things. I'm very grateful to have content producers such as you to still be around posting things and making things. it makes me feel less alone and alienated! also I love your writing. they are very cute makes me very happy. big love!!! Thank you for the great stuff!!

I don’t know why I can only seem to reply to any of these with crying gifs. 😂 But yes, I honestly feel you so, so much on this. I wasn’t sure at first if I wanted to get into it here and now, but I finally decided fuck it, I should be allowed to speak my mind - and I do want my followers to understand my stance! Especially since I haven’t been all that vocal about it (at least not in a Tumblr sense, but definitely in an irl sense, haha).

JKR has never had all that much love from me.

That might be shocking, considering HP has been my top book series - and really my #1 favorite thing pretty much of all time - since they started publishing, when I was about...8 years old? Or so???

But I’ve never been the type of person to automatically have unconditional love for a mainstream creator/actor/artist/etc. just because I really, really love what they create. I understand that they’re still a human being, separate from their work, and while the world they’ve brought to life might captivate me, I might not agree with them outside of it - and might even (in the case of JKR), like...hate them? A lot???

As a queer person, I think it goes without saying that her attacks on our community go beyond just a dumb creator mouthing off on their Twitter for me. I spent much of the time when all of that was going down with her this year in tears and panic attacks, flitting between yelling about how vile she is to me, and just sobbing because I felt like something I love so much was being taken from me.

You see...HP is more than just a book series to me. I’ve been in many times in my life where my love of this series - and my love of this fandom - have been my sole reason to get up in the morning. It’s what’s gotten me through so many hard times. Any of my followers who remember when I got sick a couple years ago might know what I mean...I don’t write as much as I would like anymore, but to be able to just be a part of this fandom at all, to continue supporting other creators and running my fests, brings me so much joy. I’ve kicked JKR out of the fandom in my mind - if I even feel she deserved to be in it in the first place. But like...I can’t rip the Dementor tattoo off my arm, and I’m not in the position to pay $1000s to get it lasered off. I shouldn’t be expected to throw out souvenirs and delete pictures from my own honeymoon just because we spent a day in Universal Hollywood back in 2016 when we were all pretty aware she was a piece of shit, but it wasn’t necessarily as much of a trending topic as it is today. And everyone calling for those kinds of things at the time were so...strange? to me? That they would condemn JKR’s hateful behavior, but then turn and be hateful to others who still love the series.

So yeah. I hate JKR. I condemn every horrible thing she stands for, and will do my best to actively work against it. And that’s not even getting into all the problematic things in the books themselves! But I’m not in a place mentally where I can let HP go. Maybe someday I will be. Maybe not. But either way, know that you will never encounter any hate or judgement from me - I reserve all that for JKR herself. I want those of us who are still here to be able to like what we like, not like what we don’t, and to work to create a better, more inclusive, more loving fandom than JKR could ever dream of in her tiny, extremely biased little TERF mind.

Of course, fully respect anyone who feels differently. If JKR’s actions have forced you to step away from HP fandom, that is totally understandable, and I’m so so sorry for all the hurt she’s caused. 🖤 For those who are still in fandom because they think it’s absolutely fine and cool what she’s doing, and don’t see any reason to look any deeper into the numerous other awful things being represented in her works - well, I don’t think I need to tell you where you stand with me, but suffice to say, you and I are not going to be friends any time soon. Those of you who are still here, like me, feeling conflicted and just wishing so hard to be able to engage in this thing that’s always brought us so much peace and happiness - I see you, and my heart goes out to you. 💕

All that to say, thank you so, so much, anon, for all you’ve said here. It means the world to me as well to still have lovely people such as yourself to share this fandom with. I hope you’re doing good, and much love from me as well! 🖤🌈🖤

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

I did my best to put it in some kind of order but it got messy and I'm helpless about what I should write even after having read the FAQ and more than 20 pages of your posts so bear with me, please. The more I studied the functions, the less I know. So I'm really annoyed when people do things in a certain way because that's how it was done - there's nothing wrong with sticking to tried ways but everyone should think why they do it instead of mindlessly following a set path. (1/???)

A note to readers: if I may ask, please hold back your own sarcasm and such.

I don’t explicitly set a length limit anywhere for asks as most people stop at a fairly reasonable 5 or 6 - I’ve gotten extremely long asks only a few other times and those were mostly overnight for me so I didn’t get to weigh in in medias res, so while this person definitely needs to work on editing there’s some good content. Had there been anything egregiously offensive, ignorant, or annoying I’d have been much more brusque or I’d just have blocked them; this was a genuine misread of the situation. It’s really hard for me to define what’s good to send for typing; it’s very much a case of knowing it when I see it and I know that can be difficult for some people to interpret. Answer is below the jump.

Hi anon,

I may have had some mild fun at your expense; when I see someone is 10 messages deep and talking about Mamma Mia I have to say I have concerns about their ability to decide what is relevant information.

Anyway I’m going to answer this piece by piece. This will not be my, uh, least snarky answer; the cost of doing business of mbti typing with me for no money is that I like to enjoy myself. But I will attempt to also provide a good faith answer as you have some solid examples within all this.

I did my best to put it in some kind of order but it got messy and I'm helpless about what I should write even after having read the FAQ and more than 20 pages of your posts so bear with me, please.

As you can see I will not really bear with you but I do appreciate you doing some research

The more I studied the functions, the less I know. So I'm really annoyed when people do things in a certain way because that's how it was done - there's nothing wrong with sticking to tried ways but everyone should think why they do it instead of mindlessly following a set path. (1/???)

I feel like people use this sort of language to be like “please don’t type me as a high Si user” when in fact this is EXTREMELY high healthy Si user. Thought it could be a lower Si user as well. Anyway, moving on

For example, it's sad how many people believe in God just because thats how they were raised without actually reading the Bible (no hard feelings to believers, I also believe)

I’m...not going to unpack that

I like to speak out loud some ideas with no thoughts of acting on them but some people tend to believe I'm dead set on the idea and it causes some misunderstandings. Also, I have at least 6 back up plans for my future in case some of them won't fly. (2/???)

Here’s the deal when people say they’ve studied EVERYTHING and then ramble on for a long time and can’t type themselves I often suspect the issue isn’t that they don’t know MBTI but that they need to learn themselves. Contingency plans tend to be Ne-Si; speaking out loud with no plans to act is pretty normal.

I plan on going to a country abroad in 2 years from now and I've already made plans what I want to see there. I have a list of places I need to visit arranged in order so I could visit as many places in the most effective way because I don't want to waste my precious time spend there. I also enjoy telling people about my plans of going there as it makes me really excited. The unknown excites me and I enjoy wandering around a city I visit for the first time because I don't know it.

I can’t type off of this specifically yet but it’s interesting because you have extremely detailed plans (more of a sensing thing) but for a trip that I can’t imagine you’ve finalized if it’s that far off.

Wandering around cities is great though, I agree with you there.

I'm also really good at remembering routes and getting to the destination. I like figuring out how to get there.

Maybe immature Si user actually? Getting really indignant about poor use of Si, plus that bit about the bible I said I wouldn’t unpack sounds like it could be as well especially if paired with Fe and/or Christian views of religion.

I'm a bit reserved at first as I need to test the waters before I decide I like someone. It takes me sometime to warm up but I actually enjoy small talk and feel tempted to speak to a cashier at shop or a fellow passenger at bus which isn't as socially acceptable at my country so I don't really do this - I don't want to come across as a weird person but at the same time, (4/???)

I'm not really bothered to play a social game and I often seem to be rude (resting bitch face, actually I'm not judgmental and I'm quite chill about most of things). I know in mbti e vs i isn't perceived in a traditional way but I identify as ambivert as most of people, heh. My introverted friends say I'm an extravert but extraverts find me a quiet girl. I'm also 9w1 if that helps.

Yeah I’m thinking ISFJ now honestly, not wanting to violate social norms, introverted but enjoys small talk, and 9w1 goes with ISFJ a lot.

I've been also always thought to be a smart one who knows a lot of stuff about many things (5/???)

I could say I'm a walking contradiction as I mentioned in my previous post btw I'm sorry I asked you to type me with a vague info, this time I put a lot of effort ♡ Oh god please don’t say you’re a walking contradiction, I truly believe your intentions are good here and I do not hold this against you but that phrase is what guys who think they’re going to make it in a band despite having no talent say in their tinder bios.

At first I was sure I'm Ne/Si but now I see a possibility of being Ni/Se.I often forget what I'm supposed to do as I've just done because I had this super relevant thing to write but I forgot, damn it.

You seem very nice and perhaps just sort of young so I would suggest...writing this in advance instead of stream of consciousness which might help you organize your thoughts and edit yourself a little? I’m writing this response in advance. Like 90% of my answers I write in a Google Doc and then paste it into the Tumblr askbox later. It’s great.

(6/???) I'm getting lost in the numbers

Hard same.

I'm also quite stubborn and I'll study a thing as long as it's needed for me to fully understand it - it drives me crazy when I study for an exam, I ask my friend for help because I don't understand the concept and she tells me I don't need to understand it, I just need to memorize it.

Sounds very much like Ti here, which fits the earlier typing of Fe-user.

I do things for 101% or I don't do it at all.

I’m guilty of saying this too; I think many people see this quality in themselves unfortunately and I’m not sure it ultimately means much.

I also have a friend who helps me to stay grounded as she remembers some stuff for me and I'm pretty sure I'll be lost without her (7/???) I didn't think I wrotesomuch

yeah...about that.

I'm quite oblivious on daily basis, I went through school hallway and didn't notice a big ballot box. I only notice things when i want to and it's not a natural thing for me. But when I do pay attention, I'm sometimes mischievous on purpose and enjoy pushing buttons of others. I work on not doing it, I promiseI have a great talent to focusing on irrelevant things and I struggle to do well in my infp teacher classes - even though I know I need a shitload of details from readings (8/???)

So here’s the thing: I really don’t think you use Ni. First of all, the stream of consciousness thing tends to be something Ni users don’t like to do in my experience: they like to edit. They also just...don’t sound the way you do? Like this is rambly but it’s coherent in a way an INFJ ramble of this nature wouldn’t be. You could be an INTP actually with rigid low Si and Fe instead of immature higher Si though. But I’m pretty confident at this point you use the Fe-Ti and Ne-Si axes.

One thing I do find funny, even though I suppose I set people up for it, is when I get asks that are like “here is the detailed description of when I didn’t notice a detail and here is what I didn’t notice”. Like, we do all miss things and while it’s more common in intuitives, my legally-blind-without-glasses Si-dom mother does this too because she can’t see for shit, so.

to do well in exam, I always choose things that aren't relevant to her. She's an excellent teacher and I enjoy her insights. As for Ni/Se, I'm amazed how many things my peers do without thinking about consequences. For example, I wouldn't drink till I'm unconscious because I know I would upset my parents. I perceived it as ni, might be wrong though.

You are wrong in that this isn’t Ni, it’s called basic self-preservation. I’ve gotten extremely drunk from time to time in my life but I have never gotten drunk to the point of involuntary passing out because that is when you fucking die. Your instincts are correct here, your reasoning about your parents is probably Fe, but your decision itself is not Ni.

(9/???) Now, I'm geniually sorry I wrote so much even though I'm not usually but this case is special

I appreciate the apology but this is something I often observe with people who use Fe: they’ll apologize several timesfor long asks or asks that ignore the FAQ or whatever, but like, they still do it. I’ve had to have this conversation IRL with Fe users actually, of “I’m really not looking for an apology, I’m looking for the thing you’ve apologized for to stop.” That is a whole other post about communication though that I may make tomorrow.

I'm also really into helping others[(what contradicts with my mischief, here we go again (I didn't like the 2nd part of mamma Mia as much as the first - it was too sad, I cried in the cinema and the holiday-happy-vibe was missing, it's off topic, isnt it, the second part is called mamma mia: here we go again and I liked the first part so much I watched it like 20 times and know all the songs by heart)] (10/???)

This was the point where I decided to start fucking with you and to turn off anon, not going to lie, because I hadn’t read the rest but I saw 10/??? after an off-topic post about Mamma Mia and was like “okay we’re going to finish it now”

Anyway from this whole thing I cannot decide if you are an ISFJ or INTP, but I’m going to guess INTP as the 9w1 might be what was making me think high Fe before.

[moistwithgender]

Anime I think I remember watching this year

I need to keep better track of this I guess.

Aggressive Retsuko: Great! Very likable characters (even the bastards), just the right amount of millennial cynicism. 9/10 Aggressive Retsuko Christmas Special: It's not about Christmas, it's about instagram. It's great and extremely real (watch the series first though). Digimon Adventure tri 1 & 2: This is actually very boring so far. I planned to jump back in with the english dub, which is honestly how I should have been watching it from the beginning. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten around to it. Kado The Right Answer: If this show had not been sabotaged from the inside out in the last 2-3 episodes, this would have probably been up there with classics like Bebop. WEST WING: THE ANIME, we would have called it, or something. I haven't watched West Wing, but it's all bureaucracy, right? 8/10 in this universe, 10/10 in the alternate universe where it didn't shit the bed. Angolmois: I got halfway through this before the low budget and my own exhaustion had me drop it. Unfortunate, since anime never adapts the mongol invasion. Planet With: In the running for series of the year, probably. A super robot show where the ultimate moral is that, actually, rehabilitating your enemies is better than killing them. Will rewatch in the future, I'm sure. 10/10. Asobi Asobase: Hina Kino (Hanako)'s is going to go down as a legendary voice actress if I have any say in anything. Which I do, because I'm in charge of the industry now. Which means we're taking out queerphobic jokes, wrap it up people. 8/10, would rank higher without the bad takes. Cells at Work!: Really fun concept, has *implications* of a deeper narrative to be had built into the worldbuilding, but ultimately the whole season is just "oh I bet this irl thing would translate like this in my setting" on repeat. Still, an easy watch. 7/10. Hanebado!: There's a lot that could be good about this. Themes of toxicity in competitive spaces, overwork, abandonment, and trauma. Ending had a lot of people upset because it either miscommunicated how the protagonist moved past her trauma (best case), or just completely dropped the entire arc because...I don't know why. I rated this 9/10 on myanimelist, but it probably deserves lower. I'm still over here wanting to believe I missed something in my interpretation. Hoping for either a second season or a faster manga translation. My Hero Academia S3: This season had some high points but I felt it was considerably less interesting overall than the second season. However, Deku vs Bakugou was genuinely one of the best moments of the series thus far. My Hero Academia The Movie: Pretty standard shonen series movie for the sake of having one. Nothing groundbreaking here. But hey, I got to listen to "You Say Run" in a theater, which was almost worth the price of admission on its own. 6/10. Ushio & Tora: Both seasons, thirty nine episodes. Waste of my time! Maybe this series was just meant to be consumed bit by bit, but I just found it really shallow in the end. 6/10. Chio's School Road: Another *brilliant* comedy that is ultimately brought down by the occasional queerphobic humor. Get it toGETHER, guys! In any case, I care about these stupid children now, and hope for a season two soon. 8/10. Angels of Death: It took about 14 out of the total 16 episodes before I suddenly stopped hate watching it and started laughing at its unwarranted self seriousness and paradoxical writing. Still, kind of frustrated I stuck with it anyway. 4/10. Night is Young, Walk On Girl: Gorgeous movie that has to be seen, but. I wonder if it's Yuasa or the original writer of these books that insists on the resolution to all conflict being "heterosexuality". 9/10. Haibane Renmei: I got four episodes in before the Funi/Crunchy split happened ;__; it's really good tho Dragon Pilot: Definitely gonna rewatch this one one day too. There is a density of theme and execution here that I cannot yet fully unpack and it's just so good. Also the english dub is good, and is how I preferred to watch it. It also has a lesbian and isn't afraid of her, even if her role is very small. It's something. 9/10, maybe 10/10. Mirai: I fucking love Mamoru Hosoda's films. 9/10. Zombieland Saga: I have the sneaking feeling that they wanted a few more HOT PROGRESSIVE TAKES to be fit in before the season ended, but restraints got in the way. We had a sex worker idol who never got her backstory episode, and actually Tae never got hers either. It's still a 9/10 for me, but I'm hoping for at least a followup OVA. And a movie. Granblue Fantasy: I finished the full season, save for the "omake" episode that I assume takes place in the alternate universe where Protagonist Is Girl. This was somewhat throwaway cozy saturday morning nostalgia for the old days of Final Fantasy before that game series became more grounded in contemporary and sci-fi settings. It was also something I watched as a primer for the incoming Platinum and ArcSys games, because I'm not gonna play two gacha games at the same time. Hilariously, the--like--twenty new characters from the gacha that showed up in the last episode were all more interesting than the cast of the full season. 7/10, 10/10 for having a race of hot girls with horns (there are also guys but who cares). Hi Score Girl: This show is a love letter to growing up with arcades in 90s Japan and also struggling with making friends and ohhh my god every time the idiot main boy stops paying attention to important interpersonal plot and just starts infodumping about a game, I tragically see myself. It's very good, the girls are GOOD GIRLS and deserve better and the writing seems fully aware of that.  The series unfortunately ends on a stock romantic plot beat cliffhanger that I have to wait until March to have ultimately resolved in THREE EPISODES. Despite that, it's easily a 9/10. I list a lot of 9/10s but it's been a good couple seasons and there's just...a lot of range there. Number scores are bullshit. Watch anime. Shin Getter Robo: Probably the last show I'll have finished before the year end. It's my second exposure to Getter Robo (my first was reading Getter Robo Go, which actually takes place after this), and it's still good, but oh god. These guys are dumb bastards but there's a note early in that has aged particularly badly in the MeToo era. Not sure if the show got better because I switched audio tracks to English with VAs I have nostalgia for, or because they broke through the bottom of a lake and wound up in alternate history Heian era Japan, stranded for multiple years. With a giant robot. I liked that part. 8/10. Shows I took a break from due to burnout and need to pick back up: Run with the Wind, Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai, Vento Aureo, SSSS.Gridman, Hinomaruzumou, Ms. Vampire who lives in my neighborhood, As Miss Beelzebub Likes It., Devilman Crybaby, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san. SO MANY!!

[askscottatavie-blog]

About the Mun - Task

I meant to post this a few hours ago, but I overslept, so here ya go!

Name/Alias: Rhiannon

Pronouns: She/Her

Which characters do you write currently?: Scotta, Charna, Effie, Dale, Gil & Ginny

What got you into Descendants?: I think I actually found a lyric video for Rotten to the Core while looking for lyrics from the more classic Disney films, and then I got curious, looked up the song and ended up watching the film. Just a few months before D2 came out as well, so I had some really great timing!

Favorite color: Orange

Favorite food: Tangerines (easily peel, because I’m an overgrown child)

Favorite book(s) and character(s) from it: Since I can’t remember the names of anyone in Shamaka, I have to say Rat from Unhooking the Moon (an amazing but sad read, would highly recommend)

Favorite movie(s) and character(s) from it: The Road to El Dorado, and my two gay sons Miguel and Tulio (I will forever be salty that that story line was removed, fight me dreamworks)

What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done?: I won a writing contest a few years ago and, because of that, I’m now on the youth council for the Hay Festival, one of (if not the) largest literature festivals in the world.

Fill one of these out for each character!

Character Name: Scotta Tavie McKendrick-DunBroch

Parent(s)/Movie: Merida & Isobel (OC) from Brave, Odin from the Hercules TV Show

What makes this character special?: She believes in doing what’s best for your people, even if it might make you look bad in the process. She understands that sometimes difficult decisions and sacrifices have to be made, and is more than prepared to make them, and is wholly ready to take blame for everything she knows will rightfully be her fault in one way or another. She’s also come from an extremely low place recently and is working on being more honestly herself, not the perfect princess she was pretending to be before.

How are you and this character similar? Dissimilar?: I can definitely relate to the pressure to act like someone you’re not. And while I feel like I can identify the best course of action in a tense situation, I don’t know if I’d have the strength to choose the more difficult decision in real life.

What’s the hardest part about writing this character?: Definitely having to constantly look up stuff she would be quoting, plus trying to keep on top of what other characters are doing and have a good knowledge of politics, which I really don’t IRL. I should probably work on that.

What do you see this character doing in the future?: If she doesn’t ascend to the throne then she’ll definitely be running things behind the scenes. Her entire life up until this point has been training her to become a ruler, so that’s really the only thing she knows how to do. But I also think she’s going to continue to grow as a person and get better, considering her poor state that left her stuck at home for months during recovery.

*

Character Name: Belobog “Charna” Yaga (she doesn’t technically have a last name, but if she had to pick one you can bet it wouldn’t be her dad’s name)

Parent(s)/Movie: Chernabog & Marzanna (OC based on the actual goddess) from Fantasia

What makes this character special?: Aside from being a literal goddess, she’s managed to overcome every expectation of who she should be to be a real hero. Someone who puts other people before themselves in a society where that really doesn’t benefit her in any way. She definitely has evil inside of her, and she is similar to her dad in a lot of ways, but unlike him she chooses to utilize in a positive way rather than a negative one, and doesn’t use her powers selfishly when she has access to them.

How are you and this character similar? Dissimilar?: We both love kids, and we both probably put other people before ourselves too much. But I’m not nearly as violent or mean as she is, although I wish I could come up with come-backs as fast irl as I do for her.

What’s the hardest part about writing this character?: Keeping her speech less articulated than a lot of my other characters. Most of my characters either speak extremely formally (see: Scotta), or at least like regular people. But Charna’s quite inarticulate so I end up editing her a lot when it comes to actual speech. Plus I have 3 different characters (Charna, Scotta and Ginny) who are all suppose to be quite good at come backs, but in different ways, so whenever I write a comeback I always have to stare at it for a while and deduce if it’s in character for that particular muse.

What do you see this character doing in the future?: I think she eventually will go to Auradon with Ivah, where she can finally start to take care of herself and her daughter properly. There’ll also probably be some kind of face off with her and her dad as a nod to the Belobog and Chernobog rivalry (and the idea that both are evenly matched) from Slavic Mythology, but I can’t really see us doing that in this RP.

*

Character Name: Effie Mode

Parent(s)/Movie: Edna Mode from the Incredibles

What makes this character special?: Despite her disability she’s extremely confident in herself and doesn’t take anything from anyone. She’s also extremely clever and talented, having an eye for fashion and an interest in linguistics (she’s already fluent in several languages), and is a spoiled brat without being a mean girl, so to speak.

How are you and this character similar? Dissimilar?: I think we both share a self-deprecative sense of humour, but she’s a lot more sure of herself than I am.

What’s the hardest part about writing this character?: Trying to write her disability accurately. I’ve done as much research as I can on my own, but I could definitely stand to actually talk to some legally blind people. But also to not make her disability the focal point of her characters, which I know this isn’t exactly the prime example of.

What do you see this character doing in the future?: I think, rather than following in her mother’s footsteps, she’ll become a translator. But a very fashionable translator.

*

Character Name: Dale Dwarf

Parent(s)/Movie: Dopey from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

What makes this character special?: His clumsiness and social awkwardness is cranked up to the extreme, to the point where it’s less cute and more annoying (or, at least that’s what I’m going for anyway). But at the end of the day he genuinely has a heart of gold and will try and right any wrongs he may have accidentally made, even if he just ends up making it worse. Kind of becomes a vicious cycle, really, but people will hopefully eventually catch on.

How are you and this character similar? Dissimilar?: I’m definitely very clumsy and socially awkward, although not nearly to the extent that Dale is.

What’s the hardest part about writing this character?: Trying to keep that kind of ‘goofy but nice’ personality while trying to write him in a way that he might accidentally annoy other characters. He’s just too pure a bean.

What do you see this character doing in the future?: While I don’t think he ever fully gets over his clumsiness, he does have an interest in architecture, and that only requires drawing. So he’ll probably be doing that, in a study somewhere, surrounded by bubble wrap. You know, just in case.

*

Character Name: Gil LeGume

Parent(s)/Movie: Gaston LeGume and the Green Bimbette from Beauty and the Beast

What makes this character special?: He’s the most innocent of Gaston’s sons because of how his brothers have protected him, so he’s this rare ray of sunshine right in the centre of the Isle. Having almost never experienced his father’s abuse first hand he’s been able to develop relationships in a way that his brothers don’t seem to have been able to, at least in the past, and he’s extremely trusting and naïve despite the environment he grew up in dictating him to be anything but. He also has an amazing memory.

How are you and this character similar? Dissimilar?: I too just want to make everyone happy, if I’m honest. But I wish I had a memory as half as good as his, because I forget absolutely everything.

What’s the hardest part about writing this character?: Because Gil is quite a well known canon character that’s in the films, yet still a pretty minor one, I definitely struggle to capture his characterisation. Dylan’s portrayal was so strong that there’s definitely a right and wrong way to write him, but because he had so few scenes and even less dialogue it can definitely take a few tries to really nail.

What do you see this character doing in the future?: I honestly don’t know. Right now his entire life revolves around the Pirate Crew because that’s who his friends are and they’re the people he knows will always have his back, alongside his brothers. He definitely has an interest in academics, so I can see him getting into university to study maths or something, but further than that I can’t say.

*

Character Name: Ginny Gothel

Parent(s)/Movie: Mother Gothel from Tangled

What makes this character special?: Ginny is complex on a level that a lot of my other characters in this group aren’t, because unlike the others I need to write her as an antagonist despite most VKs being inherently sympathetic characters because of their situations. So there’s this really interesting balance of the clear signs of years of manipulation and abuse weighing down on her shoulders and making her do all this bad stuff, but also the occasional good thing that she does but has to disguise as her being evil, such as pushing her sister away so she is away from home more often (and thus away from their mother) and so she’d accept the invite to Auradon.

How are you and this character similar? Dissimilar?: I honestly don’t think I have many similarities to Ginny. Like, at all. I guess I’d like to be able to help people without coming off as being too pushy on the subject, although maybe not in the same way that she does it. But I’m definitely not as mean or vicious as she is. I don’t have the balls if I’m being honest.

What’s the hardest part about writing this character?: The hardest part is getting that balance that you need for a good sympathetic villain. Because she can’t be so sympathetic that she’s no longer threatening, but she also can’t be so threatening that she’s no longer sympathetic. It’s kind of a fine line to walk.

What do you see this character doing in the future?: With the way things have been developing so far, things are definitely going to get worse for Ginny before they get better, but I can see a possible redemption arc somewhere in her future.

[nekoabi]

All of them

Right, lets start oversharing.

Just a couple warnings: Some answers involve anxiety attacks, death and suicide talk. 

Who hurt you the most?Hmm... If I’m completely honest, it’s likely myself, due to overthinking and being an anxious mess etc.

Who have you hurt the most?Lel myself, I guess?

Who do you miss the most?Old friends that I lost contact with who I don’t know how to talk to anymore...

Who do you want out of your life the most?There’s this one person who I see frequently irl who is kinda getting on my nerves a lot... So them.

Who had the biggest positive impact on you?My mum. She is basically my life goals.

Who had the biggest negative impact on you?This friend I had who was toxic. Used to be best friends, but as time went on and we both started going in different directions, suddenly she felt controlling. She almost had nothing positive to say to me or about me, always talking shit about myself, never letting me get out negativity around her... It got the point where I was scared to talk because I didn’t know how she’d react... 

She’s the reason my anxiety blossomed into what it is. I’ve always been nervous and shy, but she made it so bad.

Who do you wish you could be honest with?Some people irl. I wish I could tell them what I really think so I could maybe work past some things...

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?Idk... I mean, I still have a crush on the first girl I ever crushed on (even though she’s engaged and I wish I could still be her friend... or at least, know how to talk to her), I kinda still have feelings for other people I’ve dated... 

Who would the world be better off without?Shitty people who do shitty things and don’t work past them, or realise what they’ve done is shitty.

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?My cousin, back when we had this weird falling out... Since then, things have never really been the same...

What was the worst day of your life?Probably the day I got broken up with which was like... almost 2 years ago? Like now, I’m over it, but I remember just crying all night, and stuff... But hey, I’m good now.

What’s your greatest fear?Either spiders (highly arachnophobic, hello) or being alone forever, or being crowded too much... I have a lot of fears, and I don’t know which is “greatest”..

What’s your biggest insecurity?Um... god, I don’t know... I have a lot, but the only one coming to mind is my outward appearance, specifically how clothes fall on me and if what I’m wearing shows my awkward body and stuff...

What’s your biggest regret?Not getting involved with the shows back in school earlier.

Describe your ideal world.Place where everyone is actually accepted, no one hates on anyone for something that doesn’t affect them, everyone’s p chill, everyone’s happy and good and stuff. 

Describe your personal hell.Stuck in the middle of a busy room with no one I recognise while everyone tries talking at once, asking questions that I can’t answer. People then getting mad, people then yelling, people getting so angry that they don’t even show it.

What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?I... don’t know... Honestly, I have no ideas. I don’t know what dreams I currently have for myself...

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?During a lecture, my friend and I were messing around a bit - Idk what we were doing, all I remember is I took a step back. I thought there was nothing behind me, but instead there were two black boxes stacked up and my lecturer’s laptop onto of them. And I fell into them, knocking them over. Everyone looked at me, I was so close to crying, I can’t remember if I was frozen for a second or what, all I remember is I ran off and hid somewhere around the performance gym, and almost had an attack.

What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?I don’t know... I’ve been angry a lot, but I’ve never had just one moment where I’ve been “the angriest”. I can’t describe a scenario, but I can describe what happens.

When I get really angry, I start shaking and everything starts kinda slowing down. My vision focuses down for a second, kinda zooming in and I feel a wave of heat flow through my body. This is how I know I shouldn’t say whatever I’m thinking of saying because I know I’ll regret it.

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?Again, probably the day I got broken up with, or the day I found out my grandma had died.

What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?I seriously don’t know. There’s been so many times when I’ve been scared shitless because of spiders, as well as when someone’s wanted to talk to me, or I’ve done something that I’m scared someone will find out when it was accidental... and like loads of other times... I’m just constantly scared.

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?Back in 6th Form. Before I knew that I wanted to work backstage. My only life goal was to finish school. After that, my life was to be over. Honestly, I’m getting back into that stage again, because I don’t know how I’m going to progress after university’s over...

What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?I checked the definition of “frantic” because I wasn’t sure and “distraught with fear, anxiety, or other emotion.” is what I found so let’s go with that.

I mean, any time I’ve had a fucking attack or cried because of being so fucking freaked? To find a different example, back when my school did Notre Dame. During God Help The Outcasts, I had to set some props - sticks used for a scene later - in the wings, in the corner. I was doing it like I always did, and for some reason, I think I tripped on something? and I turned the work lights on in the wing. I almost puked right there. I managed to turn them off and just ran away to the changing room and locked myself in the shower room and almost cried...

Just remembering that makes me so fucking tense...

What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?Probably when I did a solo in front of a paying audience for the first and last time. It was only one of our Showcase shows, so it was only a small audience but still, I did it.

What’s the best case scenario for your future?Find a good job somewhere in theatre (or get a good reputation and keep getting hired), have a comfortable amount of money, have a comfortable place, have someone who i can be with, have at least one cat. Be able to just live without worrying too much about the simple things...

What’s the worst case scenario for you future?Having a job I really can’t stand, constantly worrying about the simple things, being completely alone, being unable to relax... 

What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?Uhhh... I had a time where I missed like a month of school due to stomach pains that no one knew what it was, and that was fucking painful.I had period pains that made me collapse once. I caught the back of my heel under one of the rolling cages at Waitrose one day, and it was the heaviest one as it was full of milk and I bent my foot back and it fucking hurt... Still had to work for another hour and a half and walk the 40 minutes back home, and then go back to work the day after...

I haven’t really had extreme physical pain, I’m too scared of being hurt... 

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?#BreakUp

Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.Anytime I’ve given someone advice and then not taken it myself, I guess... I really try my hardest to not be a hypocrite, but that’s the biggest one...

Describe a time you felt like a traitor.I’ve sat here trying to think of something and I fucking can’t. So, never, I guess. I’m sure there’s been something fucking stupid or tiny that was really dumb that I was like “omg i’m a traaaaaitooooor!!” but i can’t fucking think of anything and I’m getting mad about it. So, lets fucking move on.

Describe a time you felt like a hero.Nothing has ever made me feel like a hero... I mean, I’ve felt good doing things for people, but never been like “omg look at me so hero!”So, never.

Describe a time you felt inhuman.All the time. Like right now. I feel empty. I don’t know how I should be feeling, or what I should be feeling, but I just feel gloomy and gross and shit. I just don’t feel human.Also, all those times I’ve looked at my reflection and gone, “No... that’s not me. Is it? It moves like me, but I just don’t... look right...”

Describe a time you felt like a failure.Lol all the time. Honestly. I feel like I’m failing myself by doing nothing.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?Last night, I came up with “we’re coming up on the ejaculation station.” That’s probably the worst thing.

What are you proudest of?I mean, I’m proud I finally finishing Wind Waker. I’m proud I got an 85 on an assignment. I’m proud I’m still here, on this earth. Idk, just... whatever.

What’s your relationship with your family like?Mostly, it’s good. My family are really nice, my parents are amazing and I love them. My aunts are kinda problematic - one I really don’t like that much, one drinks so much that I don’t think I’ve ever seen her fully sober. My uncles are p cool, chill. My nan and grandad are nice enough, they just say things and believe things that are just... not okay. And my cousins are really cool, I like them.

What’s your relationship with religion like?I don’t have one with religion. I respect people who are religious - as long as they’re not using their religion to be a dick, but that’s usually just a sign of someone being a general asshole.

Talk about someone you’ve lost.My grandma died a few months before the end of last year. I wasn’t super close to her, but like there are so many things that I didn’t realise I’d miss... She’d call our house every week to talk to my dad, we’d be able to go and see her like every few months, all these small things that are now just not ever going to happen again.She was amazing though. She was always so nice to everyone. She was an amazing seamstress. She made a wedding dress for someone, she was always willing to help and make something for someone. She was always welcoming, but she could fuck you up if you did something bad.She was so good.

Talk about someone who abandoned you.My old flatmates from first year.I see some of them around and they just seem to ignore me, like all the time. Two of them, the two I was possibly the least closest to, are the ones who have had full conversations with me and have even considered inviting me to meetups that they all keep having...

Talk about a desire you have that scares you.The desire of just wanting someone scares me.It scares me because I know I am incapable of doing what needs to be done to do so. I can’t talk to people well, I can’t confess to people unless I’m close to them, I just can’t.And it scares me that I can’t do something that I need to do to fulfil what I want, because I know its only going to hurt me more and more and more.

What’s something you wish you were capable of?I wish I was capable of talking openly about more of my feelings to the people who hurt them or cause them to be the way they are. I’m more than happy to be open about various things I’ve “been through” and I don’t mind talking about feelings, but I can’t talk about them with people who hurt them because I’m too scared of what they’ll say, their reaction, how our relationship will then change... I wish I were capable of conflict.

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?I’m afraid I’m capable of hurting myself.The other day, I gave in to my frustration and hurt and anger, and hurt myself on purpose. Like more than usual. It was nothing that would show, thank goodness... but if I can give in to something like that, I’m scared I’m capable of giving into other things similar...

Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.Just one where I wasn’t such a fucking coward, and I wasn’t so scared and anxious about everything. I enjoy my life, for the most part, that’s all I’d change - I think...

Describe your worst heartbreak.#BreakUpI don’t wanna talk too much about it because he’s still a really good friend. It just hurt because, at the time, I had really strong feelings. I’ve been able to get over those and be happy he’s my friend.

Describe your worst disappointment.I mean, I was super disappointed that I got a job offer for like the perfect place - GAME - but I had to turn it down due to the fact I had literally just started working at Disney Store that month and because they wanted me to do my first training shift on CoD release day... Because that makes fucking sense.The manager was just a total dick...

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?Probably? Idk when... but likely...

Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?Definitely let others take a fall for me, but never for anything extremely bad - just small things...

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?Lol no, I’m no where near strong enough to do that.

Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?Not to my knowledge... If I ever have, it’s never been intentional...

Have you ever self-harmed?In ways, yes. As mentioned above. I’ve scratched my face, I’ve pinched myself, I’ve gripped myself so hard that it hurts, I’ve slapped and punched myself. I’ve let myself get almost burnt by the cold.But what most people know as self harm? No, I’ve never cut.Doesn’t mean the thought hasn’t crossed my mind.

Have you ever attempted suicide?No, never attempted.Considered? Many times.

Have you ever stolen something?Not anything major. Like I’ve taken a thing from the fridge at home or something petty like that, I’ve never stolen anything major or done it in public.

Have you ever cheated on someone?No. Never. What the fuck.

Have you ever been cheated on?Not really? I mean, there’s always the possibility someone did, but that was just a sham of a relationship anyway - didn’t even really like the guy, just couldn’t say no...

Have you ever taken revenge on someone?I don’t believe so... Not like actually, I’ve definitely considered it before but I don’t remember doing it outright.

Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?Yup. 

Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?Only for good reasons, like sharing their stories with someone who they don’t even know because I can’t handle it all on my own or telling someone about what they’re going through because its scaring me.

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?I mean, kinda? Nothing major, and it probably can all be explained by something sciencey. But like, back home, when I’m laying in bed (and haven’t moved for like ages), I sometimes like feel something move over the bedsheets or like rest against my legs. Idk what that is, but I like to think of it as the cats we used to have...

I’m sorry for the shitty tone through some of these, it’s just a really shitty day...

Thanks for asking

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #277

“i think we could reach heaven if we go through hell”

What are you currently listening to? "Heaven" by Solence. Has your father met the boy you currently love? I don’t love a guy, just his memory. I don’t think it’s accurate to say “yeah I love him” when I haven’t spoken to/associated with him since one talk in 2017. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? My sisters. I barely ever see/talk to my cousins at all. How many people have you really fallen for? Two. Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Probably not ‘til my sister��s wedding next year. Why did you last cry? Oh god it’s so cheesy but it was during the Unus Annus video where Mark, Ethan, and Amy were out in the desert watching Neowise and just talking about life and shit. I legit sat in silence just thinking for a while after I finished it. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Shit, not even 10 minutes. Sometimes not even five. I don’t do anything special at all, just get dressed, brush teeth, and comb my hair. Would you ever take back someone after they cheated? Nnnnope. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? Well considering we jumped back and forth from hating each other to being friends like five times as kids,,,, lmao. But on a serious note, it’s rare now. I don’t exactly count arguments tho. Do you want to see somebody right now? I wanna hang with Sara so bad mayn. Do you get distracted easily? YEAH. Do you think that someone has feelings for you? Yeah. Do you still talk to the person that you last kissed? On the daily. Are you easy to get along with? I think so. I’m chill with such a variety of people that you know you can be free of judgment. The only thing you’d have to understand is how quiet I am and that it does not equate to me being disinterested in you or anything, as people have apparently thought. Have you ever had a pet goldfish? As a kid. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. Are you short? I’m of an average height for someone my gender, age, and nationality or whatever it’s called. Is there anything stressing you out currently? bruuuuuhhhhh I am ALWAYS stressed about something. What’s something that you cannot wait for? This fucking pandemic to end. Just wear your goddamn masks and stay in your fucking houses ‘n shit and maybe we’ll move forward. What was your favorite grade? So it’s super ironic: 7th. Which is when my depression manifested. I just have a lot of good memories with excellent teachers and friends. Are you afraid of shots? “Fear” is the wrong word for it, but there’s certainly a tense feeling before you get one. It’s not the needle that really hurts, it’s whatever medicine is being injected. Always stings. Were you an adorable baby? I was tbh, but I had nothing on my little sister. Nicole was so fucking cute. Are you happy with who you’re becoming? No. Do you want children? No. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not “a lot,” no. Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? Definitely really slow. Really fast is nooot my style. I mean, neither is very slow, but I’d definitely prefer it and feel more secure in it. When applying eyeliner, which eye do you do first? Uhhh I think left? I do this so rarely that I don’t really know lol. How many exes have you talked to today? One. Are you tan? lol hell no. I never have been. Do you use any acne medication? I use a facial scrub to exfoliate and prevent acne, does that count? Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? My half-sister I’ve never met. I know almost nothing about her so can’t answer the second question. Are you likely to crack under peer pressure? Not really, no. Are you emotional or very stoic? I’m emotional as hell. How many states have you lived in? North Carolina has kept me hostage my whole life. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Me mum. How do you want to die? Eek, idk man. Part of me says fast as to avoid pain or a gradual, torturous decline in health, but at the same time I want my life to conclude after like… accepting it and not taking my last days for granted. I also don’t want the sudden surprise on my loved ones. Are you scared of spiders? Okay, so this is very situational. If a spider surprises me, I’m most likely going to gasp/scream/curse and try to get away. However, I find them very, very fascinating to watch and are beautiful and some even cute in their own right. I respect their existence and position in the ecosystem. I’ve held a tarantula before and even want two (… or ten) as a pet, so I can’t be THAT scared of them. Oh, and I’m much more likely to be spooked by ones with long legs and particularly small bodies. Idk, it’s weird. Do you have trust issues? fuck YES I do. Who/what was your last dream about? I know Jason was in it, but that’s no surprise. I remember someone randomly trying to kill me again lmao. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I’m sure it was Mom. Who was your last text from? Sara. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? The fuck is wrong with you if you sleep with it open?????????????? Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? No. I don’t think we were ever in a hotel together, and besides, it’s p gross imho. I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t lmao but I hope I wouldn’t. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No, that’s never made sense to me? My sister stole a traffic cone once tho lmao. She legit just wanted to do something sketchy. Highkey badass, amirite. Are you reading any books right now? I’m very slowly reading Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret by Tui T. Sutherland. I’m going through one of my junctures of little reading again, even though I’m enjoying the book as I do with the series. Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook? Some dude I had no mutual friends with or anything. How recently did you wash your hands? Last time I went to the bathroom. Did the last person you kissed have facial hair? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? Girt. Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them? I have one sister younger by two years, and I’d kill for her even if we’re not all that close. What are the other members of your household doing at this moment? I’ve actually been home alone for around two weeks now and am MIRACULOUSLY doing totally fine. My mom had to take an urgent flight to NY because her mom is dying. Sadly much slower than they expected. She’s not in pain due to medicine, but nevertheless, it’s torture for her. She can't do anything. Do you have any neighbors that you don't get along with? Not really, but there is someone to our right that constantly has music playing outside, and sometimes it’s annoying. In the past week, have you slept past midday? No. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Name the last song that made you cry. “Lovely” by Billie Eilish, I think. It reminded me of Jason. Do you use Twitter? Not really, no. I only ever check it to look at Mark’s lmao what a shocker. The last time something scared you, what was it? One of my nightmares last night. A huge spider was hurrying towards my face from the wall and I actually scrambled out of bed irl, therefore nearly passing out bc I can't get up fast w/o getting extremely dizzy, oof. Who was your first best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends anymore? On Facebook, anyway. We haven’t talk-talked in many years. Who is your best friend right now? Sara. How old were you when you found out what sex was? I was in the 4th or 5th grade, whatever age you are then. I definitely learned later than most, it seems. Had no idea until sex ed in school. Name one quirk you have that drives people crazy? I pace badly, and I’ve been told by numerous people it makes them anxious. Who is your favorite Disney villain? Probably Scar. You gotta admit his scheme was pretty clever, and he had a BUMPIN song. Would you have children if a surrogate could carry it for you? No, I still wouldn’t. Do you have an account for any social platform that you rarely/never use? Yeah, like Twitter. What do you most frequently take photos of? Nature. Do you ever wear hats? What does your favorite hat look like? No. Have you tried any foods or drinks for the first time today? Which? No. Does anyone close to you smoke cigarettes? My dad. What was the last song you heard, that made you feel nostalgic? Motionless In White recently covered "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. Is it awkward when you run into your ex? I don’t run into any of them. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Oh, totally pasta. Coleslaw is fucking disgusting. Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? I hope. Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip? I have a vertical labret and did have snake eyes, and I adore(d) both; however, I prefer my lip ring. It’s like, a part of my identity by now lmao. Last time you were attacked by an animal? I don’t think an animal has ever seriously hurt me, instead only through playing too rough. I get scratches from Roman every now and again from it. How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? Never. Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant? So one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done is accidentally agree to being a martyr, because at the time, I thought it only meant like, you’d die for what you stand for, which in most serious cases, I would. I didn’t know that wasn’t the kind he meant; he meant I was trying to make shit all about me and throw a pity party about the breakup. I didn’t learn that was the “common day” definition until a long time after when I was no longer in contact with this person. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY VERY VERY. Have you ever been busted for underage drinking? No. Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? I don’t have a “lover.” Have you witnessed a fight at school? So shortly after returning to class in the 10th grade, a girl deadass got stabbed in the neck during a fight nearby my classroom. I (nor my classmates) actually saw it, just heard. Safe to say the assailant was expelled, and the other girl was lucky to have her throat missed, though that was apparently what the other girl was aiming for. She went to the hospital of course, and that’s all I know. Who did you last get into a big argument with? Probably Mom. Do you drink lots of water? Sigh, no. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Before my last period I had a day of such bad cramping that I decided to go back on birth control. I originally started it for that but stopped to see how it would affect my mood, and now I absolutely need it back. Interested in anyone at the moment? Yeah. Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to? Besides historical people, no. Are you guilty of texting while driving? ”I don’t drive, but I am so against doing that. Please don’t. It only takes a second of distraction for something to go wrong. Keep your eyes on the damn road.” <<<< This right fuckin here. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? I don’t know. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? Uhhh I think scissors? Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes, but they’re all projects I abandoned. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Not that I recall, no. Do you have high standards? Honestly yes when it comes to relationships (which is what I assume you’re talking about). Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yeah. Do you know how to snap your fingers? Uh, yeah. Do you plan your outfits for the next day or just randomly choose? I choose on the spot, usually. Are you a bossy person? Definitely not. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I fucking hate that statement. It’s absolute bullshit.

[helvetica12point]

Divine Abuse, Punishment, and the Nature of Gods

Normally this is a topic I avoid, but I had a request for it, and it’s a good challenge, so I’m going to try and tackle it as diplomatically as possible.  I don’t usually do trigger warnings, but I know a lot of people who have been abused irl, and I take abuse very seriously, so consider this your trigger warning.  If you aren’t in a good place on this or the related subject of abuse, you may want to come back later.  Anywho, let’s go behind a cut.

Divine abuse is a topic that pops up in pagan circles from time to time, and I don’t think it’s one that anyone enjoys talking about.  No one like the idea of their gods being abusive, and for victims, well, very few victims enjoy seeing people worship their abusers, whether divine or human.  I will be addressing this subject from a kemetic standpoint--I’m not overly familiar with most other pantheons, and cannot speak to experiences with gods other than my own.  This is a big subject, so I’m going to try and break it down into manageable pieces.

What is divine abuse?

I actually did do a little bit of research on the subject, and to be honest, I had trouble finding anything about pagan divine abuse.  My search brought up a lot of Christian resources, which spun it variously as God abusing humans, humans abusing humans in a religious setting, and, my personal favorite, humans abusing God.  I haven’t seen anything about divine abuse in kemeticism, and what I’ve seen in other paganism is mostly just one or two people.  So, it looks like it’s pretty uncommon.  When we do see divine abuse in paganism, it’s almost always the deity abusing the human, so that’s the definition we’re going to use.  So, divine abuse is when a god abuses a human.

In that case, what counts as abuse?

Now we’re starting to get into some really hairy territory.  In order to claim divine abuse, we must first establish what constitutes abuse in the first place, and abuse can be really tricky to nail down.  There are many different kinds of abuse, but the most common types are physical, emotional, and psychological.  As to specific actions that are abusive, well, every site has a different list, and many of the things on those lists are not necessarily abuse as an isolated incident.  After some research and much debate, here’s the definition for abuse that I’ve been able to come up with:

Abuse is a pattern of behaviors committed in order to exert control and gain power over another person without that person’s consent.  These behaviors demean, devalue, dehumanize, and harm the victim, causing them to fear for their physical and psychological well being.  Abusive behaviors do not have to be performed consciously, nor does the victim have to be consciously aware of their effect in order to be considered abused.

Your keywords there are pattern, control, consent, and harm.  So, for example, if you punch your spouse once, that’s not abuse (it’s definitely assault and battery, and not something you should do).  But once you start punching them regularly, then it becomes abuse.  In the case of control, victims of abuse will work hard to figure out what triggers it and avoid those behaviors, which ultimately leaves the abuser in control of their decisions--this can also be seen more directly in cases of abuse where the abuser issues demands like, if you don’t do this, I’ll leave you (or kill you).  Ultimately, whether the abuser knows it or not, they are doing it to exert control over another’s life in an unhealthy manner.  Consent I’m including because there are relationships that may seem abusive, but aren’t.  BDSM community, I’m looking at you--everyone has consented and enjoys what’s going on there, so you’re fine.  As for harm, well, that’s pretty obvious, and I don’t think we need to go over that, other than to say that harm isn’t always physical.

What’s the difference between abuse and punishment?

There’s a fine line here, a very fine line.  Punishment is generally a negative correction to prevent unwanted/inappropriate behavior.  For example, if a child is acting out, they may be sent to their room or have privileges taken away until they realize what they did was wrong.  The time, culture, and circumstances determine what the appropriate punishment is.  For example, when my parents were kids, it was not unusual for a child to be hit with a belt or stick if they misbehaved.  Now, of course, that’s considered child abuse. Basically, punishment is a learning opportunity and deserved, whereas abuse is completely unwarranted with no rhyme or reason to it.  

So, what’s this nature of the gods stuff, then?

This is where we start looking at how to determine if something is divine abuse or not.  It’s important to keep in mind how we relate to the gods, because our relationships can determine whether something is abusive or not as well.  For example, if you don’t let your five year old buy a candy bar with their allowance, that’s teaching them fiscal responsibility and good parenting (also, encouraging good eating habits).  If you don’t let your spouse buy a candy bar with their own money...uh, yeah, you get my point.  Abusive behaviors can vary based on the existing power structure in the relationship.  If one party is significantly wiser and more experienced, then you could almost make the argument that they actually have a responsibility to teach and take care of the other party.  This is the case of the gods--they are vastly more powerful than we are.  When you relate to the gods, they are not your equal, they are your superior, which means they already have a certain amount of control over you, just like your parents did when you were a kid.  This is the nature of gods--they are powerful beings larger and wiser than us.  They have a bigger frame of reference and operate on a different scale.  We cannot hold them to human standards because they are not human.  That said, it’s not unreasonable to expect a certain level of kindness and decency from them--we are larger and wiser than children, but it’s still wrong to be cruel to them.

How do I know if what I’m experiencing is divine abuse?

Well, there are several factors you have to look at before you can say, yes this abuse (which is true in real life as well, although the factors you look at are a bit different).  Firstly, and most importantly, discernment is key.  I have plans for a post all about discernment at a later point, but for right now, you’ve got to be certain it actually is a god you’re dealing with.  There’s a lot of fuzziness when communicating with gods--a booming divine voice from nowhere is a rare thing.  Mostly we communicate via thoughts in our head or through various divination tools, all of which have a pretty high margin for error.  This is where discernment comes in.  Discernment is what lets you tell the difference between your own thoughts, a god’s words, and the words of other spiritual entities.  I’m going to be honest here, there are a lot of things out there that aren’t gods, and many of them love to mess with people.  Many of them are also strong, and if you lack discernment skills, you can easily mistake these entities for a god.  Additionally, a great many of us also struggle with mental illness.  This can make it very difficult to hear the gods at all, and in the throes of a depressive episode, our own thoughts can be extremely harmful.  So if you feel like it might be divine abuse, you have to narrow it down.  I can’t tell you the best way to tell which is which--that’s going to vary from person to person.  I can tell you that in my own experience, the Netjeru have a presence that’s lacking in other entities and my own thoughts.  They feel bigger, and there’s a certain...aura?... I guess, to them.  It’s unmistakable once you’ve felt it.  I would also add that I’ve usually found the Netjeru to act and speak for my best interests, so if that’s not what I’m hearing, that throws up a red flag.

If you have determined that you are, indeed, dealing with a god, the next thing you have to do is determine that what’s going on is abuse, and not punishment.  The hard part here is that fine line we talked about between abuse and punishment, and the nature of gods is key here.  Like our parents when we were children, the gods will punish us if we step out of line, and sometimes their punishments may be severe.  A lot of that depends on the individual god.  It’s been my experience that the Netjeru are insanely patient, although some have a shorter fuse than others.  Before you cry abuse, you must ask yourself if you’ve done something that would warrant punishment.  Have you disrespected the gods?  Have you committed acts of isfet?  Have you straight up disobeyed instructions they gave you?  These are all things that might warrant punishment.

If you have determined that you have not done anything that would warrant discipline, then we need to make sure it’s not an isolated incident.  Remember, one time is just inappropriate behavior--we need repeated cases to call abuse.  So, if it’s a one time thing, well, they were just being a jerk.

Continuing with our criteria for abuse, the gods already have a certain measure of control due to the power dynamic.  Personally, I don’t see why they would feel the need to exert more, but we do see cases of abusive bosses and what not on the human scale, so we can’t rule it out.  Consent is a bit trickier, as many of us have had gods just sort of come into our lives, but I’ve found that the Netjeru do insist that any serious vows are your own choice.  That leaves us with harm, and there are some clarifications I want to make on that one.  If you ask a god for something and they ignore you or say no, that’s not harmful, any more than your parents saying, “No, you can’t have this Power Rangers figure.”  The gods can be strict, and sometimes they have other definitions of things like harm, but saying no to requests is not harmful.  Additionally, the gods have the right to chose their followers, just as we chose who we follow.  The Netjeru are pretty chill, but if a god decides that you would be better off worshiping someone else instead of them, that’s not harmful, either.  The gods do talk to each other, and they will work out among themselves who can help and put up with you the best.  This may mean you wind up with a different god than you expect or want.  Trust me, I get that.  When I started, Heqet was the last goddess I would’ve picked because of her fertility associations.  But now, I wouldn’t leave her for anything, because I’ve realized how good a match she is for me.  To a point, you have to trust that the gods know what they’re doing.  They know more than we do.

I’ve looked through your criteria, I’m definitely being abused by a god.  Help me!

Okay.  Generally speaking, you’re going to want to approach this in much the same way that you would a human abuser.  Get away, get help, keep away, and get help to recover.  It is not going to be easy.  You’re going to run into a lot of people who don’t believe you.  I know I’m extremely skeptical of it myself, mostly because of my own experiences with the divine.  I’ve seen very few cases where they did something that wasn’t deserved, and I’ve seen a lot of discernment issues in paganism.  Personally, I think most of this is other entities pretending to be gods.  That said, my disbelief or skepticism doesn’t make what happened to you any less real, and even if you are being abused by an imposter, a lot of what follows is still going to be your solution.

Like if you were being abused by a human, the first thing you need to do (after admitting what’s going on and deciding to do something about it) is to get away.  This isn’t easy in real life, and it’s certainly not easy with a non corporeal entity that can go anywhere.  That said, you need to start cutting ties.  If something is abusing you, stop worshiping it.  Take steps to prevent it from coming near you.  Wards can be helpful (if you don’t know how to make them, there are many resources out there to teach you).  You may need to ask another god you trust to intervene, just like if you were a child being abused by your parents, you might ask a teacher for help.  You might find other survivors and ask them for help, or others from your community.  Additionally, a certain measure of confidence is essential for dealing with spirits of various types, and can offer a small measure of protection.  Once you’ve successfully cut ties, don’t go back.  How many of us know someone who has broken up with an abusive partner only to go back to them over and over?  Don’t be that person.  Burn the bridge.  Once you’ve managed all that (and it’s is much easier said than done, I know), you will need to deal with what happened to you.  In the case of human on human abuse, you would go to a therapist when you were ready (it can take a lifetime to recover from abuse).  A little trickier with divine abuse, because most therapists are not going to believe you.  That said, you might still find it helpful, even if you have to dance around the subject.  You might also talk with others who have experienced divine abuse, sort of like a support group.  And, of course, you can talk with the gods, too.  The Netjeru are very good about self care, and can really help you work through things.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful, and maybe clarified things a little.  As always, this is mostly just my opinions and you are free to disagree.

[runyousillydetective]

Answer all of them you coward

Well fuck. I gotta answer them all now.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? @justlivingforthemoment​2. Are you outgoing or shy? Hrm. Classic introvert so... I’m pretty shy until I get to know you.3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? @justlivingforthemoment​ 4. Are you easy to get along with? Don’t be an asshole and we’re golden5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? If she isn’t drunker than I am. And even then, I think she’d still try6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Personality and humor always comes before physical appearance for me. Idk7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? If I’m not I will be extremely surprised and heartbroken8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Is there really an “opposite” gender...?9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not really. Especially when it comes to telling women all the shit they don’t know about their own anatomy because American sex ed is the most terrible thing on Earth stg10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? ... @justlivingforthemoment​ (do you see a theme because I do....)11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Yeah!”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? “Lydia” Highly Suspect, “Slow Hands” Niall Horan, “Thump Thump Thump” Natt & Alex Wolff, “Glitter in the Air” P!nk, and "Beam Me Up” P!nk (You get four because I suck)13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Totally14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Kind of?15. What good thing happened this summer? This summer has barely started16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Many, many times17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I find it hard to believe there isn’t18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No19. Do you like bubble baths? I fucking love bubble baths20. Do you like your neighbors? I mean, I don’t really know them? But they know my parents and they are nice21. What are you bad habits? Idk I’m defensive and emotionally stunted and easily distracted22. Where would you like to travel? Is everywhere an acceptable answer?23. Do you have trust issues? Lol depends on shit and stuff24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Ignoring my first alarm25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My smile26. What do you do when you wake up? Slowly pry my eyes open and feel like screaming27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Nope28. Who are you most comfortable around? @justlivingforthemoment​29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Nope.30. Do you ever want to get married? I mean, I could definitely see it happening. That’d be nice if I found the right person31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? A short one but I’m growing it out again32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I’m... not really a threesome person33. Spell your name with your chin. z nvged,l,lkjc az34. Do you play sports? What sports? Lolololol35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Shit, idk man36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Not recently37. What do you say during awkward silences? I generally make terrible jokes and make everybody feel angry with me38. Describe your dream girl/guy? @justlivingforthemoment​39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Erhm, the internet?40. What do you want to do after high school? Well, my next step in getting a doctorate in educational anthropology41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yeah, people can fuck up. It’s how you change/fix it that really matters42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Sometimes nothing, sometimes I’m sad, sometimes I’m angry43. Do you smile at strangers? Depends on how introverted I’m feeling (or if I’m working)44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? The ocean fucking terrifies me, space it is45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? The fact that I live in a capitalist society and if I don’t go to work I will die and nobody will mourn my death because I was “lazy” and “deserved it”46. What are you paranoid about? Things and stuff47. Have you ever been high? Nope48. Have you ever been drunk? Yup49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Probably though I can’t think of what it might be right now50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black and pink51. Ever wished you were someone else? Sometimes yeah52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My absolutely paralyzing fear of authority figures53. Favourite makeup brand? honey I don’t make up often enough for that54. Favourite store? I have no idea, I’m too broke to spend money55. Favourite blog? probs @thebootydiaries​56. Favourite colour? Blueee57. Favourite food? Bread58. Last thing you ate? Ravioli59. First thing you ate this morning? Honey Bunches of Oats60. Ever won a competition? For what? Erhm, uh, I mean, I won reader of the month quite a few times in elementary school. And I’ve probably won something since then but it wasn’t that important idk61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope62. Been arrested? For what? Nope63. Ever been in love? Yeahhhh64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? It was in my basement, watching a Disney movie, idk65. Are you hungry right now? Nah66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Most of my tumblr friends are my real friends but the couple of friends that aren’t irl friends are just as important to me67. Facebook or Twitter? Uh, neither?68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? Well, I’m watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix but I don’t really watch tv anymore70. Names of your best friends? Alexa, Jenny, Becca, Caitlyn, and Cory71. Craving something? What? @justlivingforthemoment​72. What colour are your towels? My towels are all the colors of the rainbow. My parent’s towels are light green, light blue, white, and pink. Idk they are old72. How many pillows do you sleep with? I sleep weird. I use a body pillow for my head (it is so long that it doesn’t slip out from under my head 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Not always but I often have either my childhood teddy bear, Hug Me, or my puppy (which @justlivingforthemoment​ has right now)74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I’ve got at least ten75. Favourite animal? It sounds terrible when there are so many amazing animals out there but I honestly just love dogs so much (and hedgehogs)76. What colour is your underwear? Striped light and dark pink77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Both (I’m bi and we are indecisive, remember)78. Favourite ice cream flavour? I really like the black raspberry and chocolate flavor79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Fluorescent green80. What colour pants? Black81. Favourite tv show? Sense8 (A Netflix original but it counts!!!)82. Favourite movie? I can’t choose just one, honestly83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? I don’t even remember Mean Girls 2 so Mean Girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Mrs. George86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? The starfish (I’m terrible with names and I’m so sorry)87. First person you talked to today? Texting? @justlivingforthemoment​ In person? My dad88. Last person you talked to today? My dad89. Name a person you hate? A couple of people90. Name a person you love? @justlivingforthemoment​ (in case you couldn’t guess from all the times they’ve been mentioned already)91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? I can think of a couple92. In a fight with someone? Nope93. How many sweatpants do you have? A couple94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? A lot95. Last movie you watched? Sully96. Favourite actress? Idk97. Favourite actor? Idk98. Do you tan a lot? Sweetie, I don’t tan, I burn99. Have any pets? Two dogs and a cat and a beta fish but none of them live with me rn100. How are you feeling? Alright, thanks for asking101. Do you type fast? I mean, average?102. Do you regret anything from your past? Nah, not really. I learned from it103. Can you spell well? W-E-L-L104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah, sometimes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Lots, I’m from the middle of nowhere so we have a lot of bonfires106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yeah but they hurt me first107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yep!108. What should you be doing? Finishing my online essay exam109. Is something irritating you right now? Some stuff110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yeah111. Do you have trust issues? Didn’t I already answer this?112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My dad (my brother left me out of his wedding almost entirely and then left me out of something else and my feelings were really hurt)113. What was your childhood nickname? Gels, Gel Belle, Jelly Bean, Beaners, various other such names, and Thumpy114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yeah115. Do you play the Wii? ANIMAL CROSSING116. Are you listening to music right now? Nope117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I do118. Do you like Chinese food? I have a Chinese food date with @aceincorporated tonight119. Favourite book? Anything by @tamorapierce120. Are you afraid of the dark? No but I know who is!121. Are you mean? I’m too nice, actually122. Is cheating ever okay? Nope, if you’re cheating there is a reason and you need to prioritize your life123. Can you keep white shoes clean? NOPE124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, it is just attraction. Love comes from knowing somebody125. Do you believe in true love? Yeah, but I don’t necessarily believe there is only one person out there for you126. Are you currently bored? A little127. What makes you happy? Dogs and @justlivingforthemoment128. Would you change your name? Nope, I like it129. What your zodiac sign? Sagittarius130. Do you like subway? Yup131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I’m gay and taken so... they have to get over it132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I already answered this question, too.133. Favourite lyrics right now? I am blanking134. Can you count to one million? I’m sure I could if I had to but I don’t want to135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I’m sure I’ve told some really dumb ones but I don’t know what they were now136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? CLOSED. THE MONSTERS CAN GET ME IF THEY ARE OPEN.137. How tall are you? 5′4″138. Curly or Straight hair? Curly139. Brunette or Blonde? Dirty blonde but I’ve colored my hair dark auburn140. Summer or Winter? Summer141. Night or Day? Night142. Favourite month? Either April or October143. Are you a vegetarian? Nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark145. Tea or Coffee? Tea tea tea tea146. Was today a good day? It’s my day off so I guess so147. Mars or Snickers? Both?148. What’s your favourite quote? “The world is before you, and you need not take it or leave it as it was when you came in.” -James Baldwin149. Do you believe in ghosts? Sometimes, maybe? Kind of?150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?“’-way, you know. It don’t matter. And when the gov-’” -Stephen King, Different Seasons