#there would *not* be a sex scene because it doesn't fit the vibe I'm going for

[kris-mage-fics]

📓 what kind of stan would I be if I didn't ask for Ayla??

(In reference to this post.)

Thank you so much for sending this ask, Sierra! Because I tried answering it four different times before I got sick yesterday and it always ended with me being frustrated and confused about why I couldn't answer. Well, it turns out that's because I kept starting it in the wrong place! So you actually saved me a lot of time and effort, because I haven't started this fic yet. Now when I do write it I won't be struggling because I'll be starting it from the right point!

The gist is that it's little first kiss fic. Kyrahlise and Ayla are out having fun, I don't know yet if it's just the two of them or they are out with the other Shepherds. When they decide to leave, Kyrah grabs Ayla's hand to lead her home and makes a joke about "not wanting the former guide to get lost", there's playful banter/bickering between them with some underlying tension.

At some point on the walk back to the compound Ayla is mentally like "fuck it, I'm just going for it", pushes Kyrahlise against a wall says something like "you're so hot it pisses me off" and kisses her. Kyrah's brain takes a second to catch up to what's happening, but once she's sorted it out, she's very happy about this development! It turns into an impromptu make-out session before they make it back home. (I mean it's Ayla, she's definitely not a soft and sweet first kiss kind of woman!)

Cut to the next morning and Kyrahlise wakes up, thinks she had an interesting dream for a few seconds until she registers arms around her and clothes on the ground, lol!

One of the things I have to decide is if it makes more sense/is more interesting if it's all from Kyrah's perspective. Or if the all but the last bit should be from Ayla's perspective. Either way, I just can't get the mental picture of Ayla getting fed up with not knowing where they stand and just going in for that kiss! The idea amuses me way too much, lol!

[swallowtail-ageha]

Scrolling through your asoiaf tag and you have such good and correct opinions like how can anyone love just Dany or just Sansa or just Arya like how can anyone not see the parallels between Dany and Sansa it makes me feel so crazy like why are there so few people who love all the girlies?? I genuinely love every single female POV character and can’t imagine hating any of them. I mean sure yeah Cersei is a villain but you’re telling me her tragedy doesn’t touch your heart? Watching this woman desperately try to avoid her prophecy as it unfolds before you doesn’t have you in a death grip? Or like are you unmoved by Sansa telling an annoying snotty little boy how brave he is because she wants him to feel better? Dany comforting Missandei when her brother dies? Arya getting to the house of the black and white and immediately thinning to being a man a cup of water (or at least what she thought was water)? How about Sansa telling Joffrey she hopes Robb cuts his head off? Dany sassing the man who wants to open the fighting pits? Arya telling Jaquen to kill himself? Like please come on. All three girls are obviously different but they share so many very endearing traits. I am fiercely holding tight to my delusion that Dany and Sansa will bond over stories and songs and Arya will teach Dany about all the flowers in Westeros and then Sansa will show them how to make flower crowns and embroider little emblems on Arya’s clothes

First of all tysm!!!!

The whole arya vs sansa vs dany fandom fight frustrates me to no end, mainly because all parties involved seem to have little to no empathy to the characters whose stans they oppose. It's all maliciously extrapolating some parts of the text to make them see worse than what they are (ex: daenerys' "if i look back i am lost" getting twisted from "dany knows that dwelling on what ifs and turning your back after you have taken a commitment will only damage you in the long term" in "dany doesn't want to reflect on her past mistakes and will go mad and get stabbed to death" or sansa getting frustrated at sweetrobin being a sign of her being ableist and classist while it's. Just a normal reaction of a stressed and traumatized 13 yo who is otherwise very sweet to her cousin)

For loving the female characters same! Even those who commit outwardly villainous acts do get lots of humanizing moments, Cersei, as awful as she is, is simply a product of the hyper misogynistic society she lives in plus years of parental and spousal abuse (and the doomed by prophecy vibes) and. I genuinely don't get how people can look at the walk of shame and say it's a fitting punishment to her crimes

Overall all the hate for female characters that are more complex or more driven or more morally ambiguous than what most female characters are presented as in other media in a fandom who (supposedly) prides itself in liking morally ambiguous characters is.. frustrating, really. I blame both fandom misogyny but also the GoT series, as it's outright changes in female character's actions and stories to make them look better or worse than what they originally were skewered the visions of almost everyone in the fandom (arya is an egregious victim of this. Scenes such as her caring for Weasel or her befriending sex workers in braavos don't exist and they added that "all girls are idiot" scene that i hate and they removed all her plan to free the northmen from harrenal and she got turned from traumatized child to hashtag no one super cool assassin and her character got straight up murdered in the tv series.)

Oh and also for kickstarting the whole jonsa vs jonerys thing which i'm pretty sure is the origin of the stupid dany vs sansa wars

And yes!! Dany Sansa and Arya should get to meet and reunite! While i do think that there will be some slight tensions between Sansa and Arya because they left on Not So Well terms, they have also matured a lot, so i do think they would have an heartfelt reunion. Meanwhile Dany and Arya could bond because of both their connection to Braavos and Arya's admiration for those who free slaves, and Dany would empathize (and feel a common ground) with Sansa for her being a child who had all her family die and got married extremely young while beeing creeped on by older men, while Sansa, who is shown to admire women like Margaery or Myranda, who are shown to be very keen regarding politics or social issues, something that Dany is

In the end, i genuinely hope that all three of these traumatized little girls get their happy ending and none of them dies, they all are interesting and complex characters that share parallels with each other, and it sucks that because of stupid ship wars or discussions on who would get the throne they get pitted against each other. THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS Y'ALL

[ghostfanwriter]

To make you feel better 🧽💖

A smutty fic where Joel is sick, and you do your best to help him feel better.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem! Reader.

Setting: Jackson.

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What I listened to while writing this:

💖Kali Uchis - Angel

🧽Kali Uchis - Telepatía (fucking vibes these two)

💖Sabrina Carpenter - Nonsense (because this song is partially about being cockdumb and you can't convince me otherwise. It doesn't pass the vibe check for this, but I listened to it anyway)

🧽Lana del Rey - Ultraviolence (I don't know exactly why, but Ultraviolence just makes me dizzy thinking about Joel. Listen to it watching the interrogation or hospital scenes and tell me I'm fucking wrong.)

Author's note: do yourself a favor and listen to Angel and Telepatía when reading this. Damn they fit the vibe. I had this story cooking on my brain for a long time now, and finally managed to get it out. It's dirty, but it's passionate and I hope you like it 💖. Also, I mention how they met here, and I have this idea where Frank and Bill had a daughter, maybe she arrived with Frank, and reader is her, but I don't know. I have another idea that fits right there and may write it eventually. Let me know what you think ✨

Word count: I think it's around 2.5k.

Warnings: Smut; 18+ only please; p in v, oral sex (male receiving), mention of Joel being sick, no physical description of reader, a bit of fluff there too.

Tell me if I missed something, please ✨

Good reading 🧽💖

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You leave Ellie on her doorstep and hurry to the house you share with Joel. Your cheeks are burning from the cold and you can barely feel your fingers, even inside Joel's thick gloves that he insisted you would wear outside.

You enter your house, remove a layer of clothes and rush to the guest bedroom. It took a lot - a lot - of persistance to convince him to stay downstairs. He was weak and you didn't want him going up and down the stairs everytime he needed to eat during the three days you went away.

You find him asleep, and if you're being honest, your heart sinks seeing him just laying there. Joel was getting old and, although you knew he would probably die before you, avoiding the thought was one of your main focuses right now.

Sitting at the edge of the bed slowly not to wake him up, you just admire him for a second. The wrinkles forming around his eyes, the little pout on his lips, his brows missing their deep frown. Seeing him in such a vulnerable position felt like a privilege, one that only you and Ellie had. He was soft and open with the two of you, unlike with everyone else, that sees him as a grumpy and even dangerous old man.

Dangerous, you couldn't lie. He is.

But you've seen his wrath. And you know it is only directed towards the people who threatened the ones important to him. You met him when he and Tess started going to your parents house, and with time your relationship develop to what it is today. You've never seen him offer any danger to anyone close to him.

You stroked your hands up his chest, feeling the soft material of his shirt, and noticing that he's still a little hot. He hums on his sleep and you try to wake him up. "Joel", you call in a tender whisper. He hums again and wakes up when your hand touches his cheek.

"Hi baby, how are you feeling?" His eyes take a second to focus and process it's you. He is awake on a snap, eyes wide looking at you. A tired and soft smile on his face and a hand on your thigh.

"You ok?" His stare is a bit confusing. You're not sure he is totally there with you, so you keep staring at him.

"Yeah, better now. Missed you." He finally says, like he's out of a spell. "I missed you too." You lean down to kiss him, and he lets you. Your soft and cold lips making him groan and shiver at the same time. His hand pressed harder on your thigh.

"You're still hot, aren't you? Did you shower today?" Caressing your thigh, he takes a while to respond. "Haven't since you left." You stayed out for three days, and Joel kind of got used to not showering often, so you always reminded him to shower at least once a day.

"So gross." You say with a laugh, and he gives you the best, strongest laugh he can. "I'm going to take one, why don't you come with me?" You say leaning down to kiss him again. Running your hands through his hair, you say "Wash this hair, huh? Come with me."

You help him up and you go to the bathroom. You help him undress first. He's a lot better than when you left, but he still struggles to bend and remove his shirt and pants.

"C'mon, you go first." You mention him the shower. "I thought we were showering together." You smile. "We are. But you can't stay out in the cold, so go while I undress."

He goes under the hot water, groaning at how good it feels. You quickly remove your neverending layers of clothes. Getting behind him, felling his body warmer with the added heat of the water.

You rest your cheek on his back for a second, hugging him from behind and just enjoying his presence for a moment. His hands come over yours, intertwining his fingers with yours.

You eventually start showering. He washes your hair, tenderness and love on his touch, massaging and caressing your head as he feels you relax under his touch. Fingers moving slowly and intently, like he was making sure you were really with him, and not outside, by yourself, without him to make sure you were okay.

You washed him, carefully soaping every inch of skin you saw, taking in every muscle and scar he has on his body, leaving an eventual kiss and squeeze along the way. He was with his back turned to you when you were finishing with his hair, and you lowered your hands to finish washing his front. When you reached his stomach, you felt the muscles there contract, and you soon saw why.

He had a hard, pulsing erection formed. It was fully there and God, you missed him.

He had been sick for almost a week and insisted you would keep a bit of a distance not to get sick. You missed his touch, his weight on top of you, his smell invading your nose, his sweat mixing with yours, his sounds, his tastes. You missed him fully, in a way that blurred your mind for a second.

You were brought back to reality when he groaned loudly, your hand firmly stroking him, up and down, slow and savoured movements. Like if going any harder or faster could break him. "Is this okay?" You ask, stopping to wait for his response.

A hand met your lower back, and his head rested lazily back on your shoulder. You got back to your motion, eventually going harder or faster, but keeping an overall steady and passionate rhythm.

Burying your face on his back, you were enjoying this as much as he was. "You always talk about how I'm always ready for you." You say in a whisper. He hums. You didn't lie. Joel was big on his praising game. Always telling how good you were doing and how good you felt.

"But you've never let me down neither." You said with a particularly tight movement of your hands around his tip and then his length.

Then you could swear, even if you felt like your ears were lying to you, that you heard him moan. A different, almost rare sound from him.

He always grunted and groaned, sounds you were deliciously familiar with, that you took as incentive to take him in deeper, or to cum around him again, or to work your tongue around his head one more time.

But a moan was different. It was him being vulnerable and showing his appreciation for what you were doing. His, other times, vocal lips, only spilling honesty right now.

The shower was slippery and Joel too weak to do anything in there. So you stopped your hands, running them up his stomach and kissing his back.

"Let's go to bed, don't want to end all the water, do we?" You said, turning him and receiving openly the kiss he leans down to press on your lips.

You dry his hair and his body, telling him to go to bed. You pat yourself dry and follow him, watching him while he looks at you, appreciating every curve and line your body had.

You lie over him, straddling his hips, his cock warm under your clit. Leaning down to kiss him, you slowly roll your hips, his hands coming to your ass, giving you a strong and deep squeeze.

"Wanna make you feel good, you've been feeling bad for a long time now." You whisper on his good ear when going down to kiss his neck. He hums in response and you start trailing kisses down his chest, then his stomach, and finally, around his cock.

You kiss his base, balls, head and the very tip with open and wet lips. Every inch of him receiving the love you want to give him.

You suck his balls first, softly and slowly. His hand comes to your hair, not pushing or applying any pressure. Just resting there and caressing you the same way he did when washing your hair.

You then lick a zigzag up his length, untill you reach the tip, that you roll your tongue around, slurping on his precum and enjoying the soft and warm felling of his skin when you put it inside your mouth.

You slowly take him inside, letting your droll wet the next inch before sucking him in. "Gonna fucking kill me, angel." He breathes low and you half chuckle, taking the hint and going a bit faster.

Your hand is cupping and rolling carefully his balls, when his breath starts to get quicker. You suck him a bit harder one last time, sucking in your cheeks to feel him fully inside your mouth.

Then you let go. With a wet and loud sound, your lips are open, a thick streak of saliva and precum keeping your lips and his tip connected. You swallow it and go back to straddling him, once again kissing your way back up.

His hands come to your face and he kisses you deeply, passionately. It's a slow and savoured kiss. The kind to make you wish to stop time and just live in for a bit. His warmth and smell sending you deeper into him, he's all that exists right now, and you couldn't imagine a better plane of existence.

You align yourself with his cock, rubbing his tip up and down your folds, circling him around your clit and just putting his head in first. Slowly, you move your hips up and down, just the tip going in and out of you.

His hands come down to your thighs and you break the kiss, holding yourself up to look into his eyes when you fully sink on him. His eyes falter for a second, his lips part and the fucking moan is there again. Blessing your ears and making you mimick his sound. A stretched, nasty and honest sound leaving your own lips.

The kind of moan that has you worried everything with ears could hear.

When you were together you felt like you just wanted to fuse with him. You always hugged him super tight, almost as if trying to merge your bodies and become just one.

Sex was the closest you would ever get to it, and you just loved feeling him inside of you. Just how fucking closer could you be with someone then literally having them inside you?

All these thoughts making you float inside your brain. His warmth, smells, tastes and sounds are everything that you know, and you're more than willing to just swim around the man underneath you.

Your hips instinctively start circling on him. His grip on your hips tightening and helping you move. You start going up and down, watching him while he looks at your body. His eyes deep and tired, but his usual passion and desire making room for themselves on them.

His lips dry and parted, an obscene invitation for you to lean down and lick them, which you're prompt to accept. Keeping your hips movements, circling while going up and down, a clockwork to help him feel every single inch of you, you just let yourself go and fully enjoy the moment.

You kissed again, his name leaving your lips just as much as yours left his. In whispers, whimpers, laughs when you moved just right, and groans that made you see stars.

You went back up, needing him faster and rougher, you support yourself on his chest and just let pleasure guide your movements.

Up and down, circling around. Forward and backwards, rubbing your clit on his cute belly while doing so.

You started to go faster, rougher, jumping higher and trying to ignore the pain on your boobs while you did so.

You tried to hold them with an arm, but Joel didn't like the blocking of his vision, so his hands left your hips and, removing your arm from your boobs, he held them, giving them enough support so they wouldn't hurt, but keeping them fully in sight for him.

You started to feel your orgasm forming and put your left hand besides his head, using your other hand to circle your clit fast and tight. Joel groaned and pulled you high enough that he could take your nipples on his lips.

He sucked hard and...

Oh God.

He just fucking kicked you off the highest cliff possible.

You screamed his name in a way that would absolutely earn you some looks when you step outside your house.

Your body shivered, shook, and moved uncontrollably. His name the only word you could remember, and you felt your pussy literally gushing around his cock.

You lied on top of him for a second. Trying your best to breath again. You were straight up just cockwarming for a bit, while you tried to organize your brain again.

"So fucking pretty, baby. Feel so good around me, squeezing me so well." His words making you clench purposefully around him, wich you kept doing, just pulsing and doing your best to make him feel good while you can't move. "My good... (a clench) Fucking girl."

Oh, to be praised by Joel Miller.

You couldn't help yourself. You needed him with you. And you would do anything to show him how much you wanted it, how much you deserved him with you.

You wanted to make sure he was always happy, always aware that you made him feel better than anyone else.

The fog on your brain started to fade and you slowly returned your movements. At first still laying on top of him, just moving your ass to bring back some friction, and eventually properly moving up and down.

"Circle again baby, like you were doing before. Felt so good." You did as you were told, drawing large and heavy circles with your hips, never letting an inch of him escape from you.

"Fuck, baby, so fucking good for me." His eyes were watching you, the frown back between his eyebrows, but this time motivated only by pleasure. His parted lips letting moans, grunts and deep breaths escape, only moving to repeat your name time after time.

It was all too much for you. You fell down again, taken by the man under you. Only him on your mind, his smile, his hair, his big hands, the sound of his voice.

Your orgasm wasn't just due to the stimulation from this moment. It was because of him.

For him.

It was like your way to pay homage to him, to show him just how much you loved and appreciated him. He was making you cum, not only his cock.

Your jaw was clenched together and your eyes doing their best to keep staring at his. When you were finally over, he couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm gonna cum, peach. Can't fucking hold it anymore."

You searched for strength on your muscles and got up. Kissing him and quickly reaching for his cock. You grab him and just go right back to it. Taking him as deep as you can, swallowing around his cock to make your throat clench around him, earning a grunt and a hair pull from him.

"Fuck, shit." He's doing his best to last and savour this feeling. His hands squeezing both your hair and the sheets, the veins on his neck about to break his skin and jump out of his body.

"Can't, baby. Gonna f-fucking cum." His warning allowing you to remove a bit of him from your mouth. You suck his head and pump his length, moaning when you feel him twitch inside your mouth.

Joel screams your name and lifts his upper body when he cums inside your mouth. Filling you up more than usually, and oh... You love it, tightening your lips around him to not let any drop escape from you.

"Greedy fucking girl." He says when you remove your full mouth from him, squeezing your lips not to let anything drip. You drink him with the most beautiful facial expression Joel has ever fucking seen, and smile when he laughs lazily at your face.

You look down, noticing there's still some on his cock. You take it back into your mouth and Joel hisses, caressing your hair, once again mimicking the movement from your shower.

Rolling your tongue around his softening tip one last time, you moan and circle it around your lips. Then you lick them and go back up, looking for his lips.

He pulls you down, kissing you in a way he hopes you understand as appreciation.

There you are, laying on top of him, sweating even though you're going through the worst part of winter.

Just you, Joel and your love for each other.

"I love you." You say when breaking the kiss.

"I love you too, more than I could ever explain." His honesty breaks your heart.

You feel the familiar feeling on your guts, the desire to melt into him, to never have to leave this bed again, to never have to experience a second without him.

You lie by his side and rest your head on his shoulder. "Gonna have to take another shower." You say, half laughing, half serious.

"Is it gonna end like the last one? Cause if it is I'm fucking running to the bathroom." He laughs, and you know he means it.

"Gonna be an endless loop, till the end of time." You say and he looks down at you.

"Eternity sounds beautiful by your side." Fuck him, you're so fucking in love.

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Can you tell I'm dying over this man? No? Cool.

Nothing to see here.

Feedback, reblogs and cuddles are highly appreciated 👑

Bye besties, see you next time 💖

[laundrybiscuits]

Just curious and i like hearing your thoughts on this stuff. May i ask what aspect of steddie fanon you're referring to (which don't fit IRL queer culture so accurately)?

Ahaha...okay so. IMPORTANT NOTE: fandom is not that crucial, do whatever you want, run free through daisy fields of whatever headcanons and characterizations you please. Also, fic is not real life and that's okay!!

That being said, fandom can get slightly weird about sex, especially queer sexual cultures and especially historical queer sexual cultures. I mean, I get it! Our current hegemonic understanding of sexuality is actually pretty recent; I studied sexuality from a sociological perspective as part of my undergrad degree, focusing on moral panics (gosh I wonder why Eddie's character arc appeals to me! so mysterious!), and I know just enough to know that I don't know shit. So I certainly don't expect anyone to be doing paradigm-shifting sociohistorical research for a fic. That would be ridiculous.

All of this is leading up to say that based on 1) the relayed experiences of queer mentors who were in the scene in the 80s 2) the secondary sources I’ve researched 3) personally having many gay male friends who love oversharing through the last ~15 years, I believe that if canon-compliant gay Eddie Munson is a virgin, it’s largely by choice. 

I've seen it suggested that Eddie's poor academic performance and nerdy interests would be, essentially, a dick deterrent. And like...I enjoy Eddie’s weirdo loser vibe as much as the next fan. I fully support him not being in any way smooth or cool with boys. But even when I myself was in my late teens/early twenties, many of my closest friends were awkward nerdy twinks who absolutely managed to get laid every weekend because MSM* hookup culture is eternal. 

And in the early 80s, when Eddie would’ve been in his late teens, MSM hookup culture was at its peak. AIDS still wasn’t being taken that seriously, and transmission etc. wasn’t really understood because…well, you know this story. It’s not a good story. Fuck Reagan. 

In short, I really can’t emphasize enough how certain types of sexual contact were extremely available for men seeking sex with men. A pretty young thing like Eddie could have literally as much sex as he wanted. Nobody is asking him for a high school transcript or anything about his hobbies, they’re asking if he tops. 

Now, would Eddie actually participate in the hookup culture of the time? That's a more complicated and speculative question, and not actually what you asked, but I'm going to talk about it briefly anyway.

In the 'yes' column: he has his own vehicle**, zero supervision, and a penchant for risky behavior.

In the 'no' column: the boy has at least three extremely involved hobbies eating up his spare time and energy; he's also a not-so-secret romantic.

Personally, I can see the pseudo-intimacy appealing to Eddie's tendency to keep people at arm's length, and I think it’s very plausible for him to be curious and experimental enough to want to explore a bit. I tend to land on 'tried it a few times, doesn't make a habit of it' in my backstories. I also tend to hint at the softer, friendlier side of hookup culture in my fics, just because I don’t often see it represented. 

Of course it’s like any other scene, there are bad actors and generally shitty people/situations, and sometimes the MSM scene specifically can be a bit of a soul-draining meat market. (ETA, because I am not white and neither are the vast majority of my friends and I felt increasingly weird not mentioning it even though it's not relevant to Eddie's situation: the scene is often also super racist, among other things! But that's a whooole other complicated kettle of fish, and again, not relevant to Eddie's situation.)

But there’s also space for casual sex to be part of a friendly relationship, in a way that I don’t really see in hetero circles. It’s hard to explain. It’s one of those dynamics that basically never shows up in mainstream media at all, so I absolutely don’t blame fics that don’t show it either. It’s just one of those things.

This is a step to the left, but I recommend checking out Dykes To Watch Out For: it’s practically an anthropological document depicting dyke culture in the 80s, it’s often funny as hell, and it’s just a fantastically detailed and relatively accessible window into a particular way of life that doesn’t really exist anymore. 

*MSM = men who have sex with men. It’s a sociological designation; not everyone in this category identifies as gay, bi, queer, etc. It may be useful to think about sexuality as having three distinct components: behavior, identity, and desire. The term “MSM” puts focus on the behavioral aspect, because it’s most relevant in this context. 

**As someone who has experienced several other countries' driving cultures, I just want to emphasize to non-Americans how willing many Americans are to drive for multiple hours for basically any reason whatsoever.

[unpretty]

I am absolutely living for the vibe talk and wondered if we could get a vibe tour or smth? Or just your absolute faves bc your reviews are really honest and fun!

yeah sure let's discuss various toys, not including my many bellesa toys previously mentioned

thoa, son of clithulu, by fantasticocks! i got a pre-set color because they were on sale but by default they do customs. i know i said internal doesn't do it for me but like. i still like it. it's just not going to get me there, is all. basically everything else by fantasticocks is too big for me. i am a delicate flower. i have not yet tested using it with a harness but i feel like it would work. they also have tentacle dick packers if that's relevant to your interests. i still want to find a cute box or chest to keep it in where it won't get linty and weird and i am accepting suggestions.

the luvli ditto 2 is a piece of shit. i'm so mad about this one. the idea is that you can wear it during sex, because the internal part is thin enough to fit a dick next to. what it actually does is fall out and do jack shit. this is one of the more expensive toys i've bought in my life and has sucked the worst. absolute loathing.

RIP the lelo nea 2. the buttons are a pain in the ass but it was cute, quiet, and discreet. until i fell asleep and didn't realize when i woke up that it was sandwiched firmly between my thighs. twice. and it ended up in the toilet because i was sleepy and had to pee. i cannot possibly justify buying it a third time but maybe if your labes are less powerful you will not have my idiot problem.

the lelo gigi 2. got this in a sale bundle with the nea and figured maybe i'd finally find something resembling a g-spot that would do it for me. i didn't.

the picobong remoji. for some reason when i bought that nea+gigi bundle from nea it included this for free. it has an app. i tried it once and it sucked. i don't think my girlfriend could use it long distance even if i wanted her to. i think all the app did was make it vibe to music, which is a lot like those weird vibe pattern settings i never use but worse. absolutely bizarre.

for a long time this extremely generic glass dildo, available wherever cheap glass dildos are sold, was my only dildo. because i was fucking broke and glass was the only thing i could buy that cheap that i trusted. if it says it's bodysafe silicone and it's only twelve dollars it's lying. also i wanted something as easy as possible to sterilize in case of butt stuff. anyway i still have it, it gets the job done if you want to pretend you're fucking someone with an inhumanly hard dick. perhaps some kind of living statue, or gargoyle. hypothetically.

this isn't the exact rabbit that i snapped in half in high school but it's close enough. i have never bought another.

the tokidoki x lovehoney unicorno magic wand. it's just a regular magic wand with a unicorn head on it. you can actually remove the unicorn head to make it a regular magic wand but i don't. it turns out the presence of the ear is vital for me and otherwise i would find it useless. it's too goddamn big. it's the size of a small car. i'm still mad i didn't get the scene kid looking one in black. this one's been my daily driver since the nea broke. can't run out of batteries if you have to plug it into the wall!

[mermaidsirennikita]

Too bad now you have to give recs of "hero goes down on the clueless heroine and she’s like wow thanks that was AMAZING, can women do that to men too? 🤔 " haha

I love the clueless heroine going down on the hero, she has no idea what she is doing but her eagerness makes it a 10, Best blow job of my life 🤌🏻

@hptriviachamp posts every time the latter thing happens with a very apt meme that makes me laugh every time (IT AIN'T MUCH BUT IT'S HONEST WORK)

I can't remember a lot of PARTICULAR moments, but for these moments or this vibe:

You should definitely try Elisa Braden for this vibe. Mooost of her heroines are virgins (honestly: too many of them for me lol, I do need a bit more variation) and they're often all "WHAT'S THIS BUTTON DO" about sex. Her Midnight in Scotland series is really good. I think The Taming of a Highlander is the one where the hero is like "THERE'S NO WAY IT'LL FIT. WE MUSTN'T." and she's like "la la la it grows exponentially bigger when I look at it, I suppose I shall attempt to stuff it in la di da" blase about it.

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover by Sarah MacLean, one of her best. The heroine's a scientist who initially gets the hero to teach her about sex only! Verbally! Before graduating to physically! Also! She's very "if he'd let me study his penis with a magnifying glass I would" in nature. I also really enjoy the scene where he eats her out, comes in his pants, and immediately afterward is caught when his buddy stumbles in like "hey where do we keep th--OH. SORRY."

The Duke Gets Desperate by Diana Quincy doesn't have this scene/a totally clueless heroine, but it does have a scene where the hero is like "my dick is trying to make friends with your pussy" so there's that.

And in the same sense, because I fucking know these authors are friends and there's no way this was a total coincidence... Frankie in Mila Finelli's Mafia Mistress & Mafia Darling is NOT a virgin by any means. But when she and Fausto make it official, they do immediately roleplay him deflowering her as if she has literally never seen a dick in her life and it's HILARIOUS. Like these are DEEPLY COMMITTED people going "oh no! what's that????" "it's my dick! it's trying to say hello!" and I. Die. Not only because it's very funny, but because it actually makes their relationship more authentic to me. That's the kind of shit you only do with someone you deeply trust lmao.

Grace Callaway is gonna give you this vibe. Not all of her heroines are virgins, but the ones who are... often are precocious... and will like stuff their mouths with the hero's dick like they're doing the chubby bunny challenge.... The Duke Who Knew Too Much comes to mind because he's like "NO WAIT STOP THERE'S CRIME AFOOT" but she's already going for it.

Speaking of, Elizabeth Hoyt's Duke of Pleasure always deserves cred for the singular moment in which the hero and (virgin, grew up as a street rat dressed as a boy) heroine are investigating crime and some evildoers come upon them and he's like "quick just pretend you're blowing me" and she does start like, a mild actual beej while he's telling the guys "PLEASE LEAVE I'M GETTING BLOWN BY MY DOXY~" but after the guys leave he's all "so you can stop" and she's like "no no no I'm going somewhere with this". This one is special to me because he makes her spit into his fancy handkerchief after and I promise that even if he didn't know it that's when he decided to marry that girl.

I would say How to Marry a Marquess is one you should check out--by Stacy Reid. It's a classic "brother's best friend teaches me how to be sexy and then things get Really Outta Hand" book. I also really liked this one scene in it when his whole "let me teach you what dudes are into" thing leads to him like, eating her out in a moving carriage and when the carriage stops he does an entire "EGADS" jump off of her.

I need to reread The Lady Gets Lucky, but that's a rake meets virgin sex lessons book, and I have to think based off the scene I remember where he's like 30 seconds away from coming just from watching her lick her lips, there's a lot happening.

[mannatea]

The World Could Be Beautiful, a Tales of Symphonia ‘fic (Chapter 8)

Word Count: 43,770 Summary: After a chance encounter in Izoold, Raine and Regal both get a lot more than they bargained for. (A one-night stand 'fic with consequences.) Chapter Summary: Feelings have a way of coming out. Pairing/Characters: Regal/Raine, Genis, George, and assorted OCs as the story requires. Lloyd, Colette, and Zelos all show up later. Warnings: Blanket warnings for the entire fic: pregnancy (and all that comes with it), discussion/mention of abortion, power imbalance, fantasy racism. Rating: Explicit. (This chapter has sex in it. It's not detailed.) Genre: Romance/angst/friendship vibes.

The title is the link to Ao3 for Chapter 8!

Notes (to be read after the chapter) under a cut:

FINALLY we get some of Regal's perspective from the one-night stand and we get an exploration of his complicated feelings about Raine.

I know someone's going to laugh at how he keeps thinking that it's not love (and then proceeds to think things only someone in love would think) but it's all a part of the process. Trust!

He tries not to dwell too seriously on the George thing, though most of his thoughts of Raine circle back to George. He ran into her by chance (or was it fate?) and if he hadn't this truth regarding George might not have been discovered for a much longer period of time. It adds a silver lining to the situation: what happened with George really sucks, but at least Regal knows the truth now—and he knows to be careful moving forward.

--

Sara getting to try out the role of VP might seem a bit far-fetched but she can handle at least some of the position already, knows what the rest of it entails, and frankly with the world being the way it is, putting SOMEONE in the position ASAP is probably best for the company's stability.

At this point the average random employee will just assume George retired suddenly due to his health.

--

A lot of time passes in this chapter.

The first scene has Raine's pregnancy at about 15 weeks.

When Raine feels the baby move for the first time she's around week 20 (5 months).

For the last two scenes in this chapter, she's a little over 6 months along (which is when others start being able to feel the baby move).

--

As to that last scene, I absolutely knew the moment I typed it that I had to end the chapter there. 😎

It's funny because just like Raine at the end of the last chapter, I was waiting for the "right" time for her to confess. I knew I wanted to write a scene in the nursery between them where Raine felt like she didn't belong among all the furniture Regal had picked out for the baby because it was all so elegant and she was drab (fitting in with the weird "out of place" sentiment she gave off earlier in the story) but at a certain point in the scene I just knew it was the the kind of situation where she wouldn't be able to help but say what she was thinking.

If you can't tell, I'm very pleased with the outcome.

Regal is in full on Nesting Mode and Raine feels a bit off because she lacks the knowledge to nest. Her mind just defaults to necessities-only and she struggles with thinking of/wanting more. Even though she knows they have the money she doesn't know what to want.

With Genis she could only ever have what she could afford...which meant they both often went without even the things they needed. Having the necessities (food, clothes, a roof) is all that she can make herself really care about. It's almost like she can't think further than that.

So Regal gets the room ready in her stead and she has to deal with this weird mix of feeling like she didn't contribute at all (and that this might make her a bad/uncaring parent) as well as feeling completely overwhelmed by how beautiful the furniture is that Regal chooses. She never had the luxury of even a bassinet for Genis, so it's indescribably hard for her to understand a changing table, let alone an expensive ornately-carved one. She would have never chosen this for herself. She wouldn't have even thought to, and she doesn't know what that says about her.

Normally I think she wouldn't let "feeling like the odd one out" get to her to the point of actually crying about it, but she's hormonal and six months pregnant; there's a lot on her mind and the pregnancy is taking a toll on her body.

Regal explains why he did this (when he realizes she didn't pick up on it on her own). He knows she didn't have anything when she had to raise Genis and wanted to make up for that and ensure she had everything, even the things she couldn't think of for herself. She's spent her life taking care of other people so this is his way of trying to take care of her.

Raine's assumption that it was literally for the baby activated an almost competitive fear: that she doesn't belong with him or with the baby or in this world.

But Regal's admission that it was for her changes the whole meaning of the gesture in her mind.

And better yet, he sees her hurt and acknowledges it! He apologizes and offers to change what he needs to in order to actually help her. He doesn't get hung up on his pride of having done something elaborate for her. He just tries to work with her to find a solution that will make her happy.

The combination of realizing it was a gift for her to help her feel safe + how quickly he's willing to acknowledge he failed is ultimately what makes her FEEL SAFE & moves her to confess how she feels. 🤍

I'M SORRY YOUR HONOR BUT I LOVE THEM.

--

Thanks for reading! As always, feedback of any sort is appreciated.

[justjstuff]

For the writing asks: 3, 23, 46! ✨

Hello!! Thanks for asking <3

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

r: I don't follow any strict rules while writing but it usually goes like this: I'll think of a few scenes and fantasise a lot about the general vibe of the fic/chapter and then get out a notebook and just info dump on it. I like writing by hand because it gives me the time to think of what I'm gonna write next (I type way too fast sometimes) and if I don't know smth I know I'm approaching I just start focusing more on making my handwriting prettier and it just... flows? lmfao I know it's weird but it's super helpful. Okay so after that I do a general outline of the chapter/fic, this still contains some of my random thoughts but I try to figure out the chronological order for the events and then the order it will appear in the narrative. As I'm writing this, I usually write some dialogue, but only what comes to mind, I don't force it. Then! It's time for sprinting. I'll take my very detailed outline, find out who's online and sprint sprint sprint! I'll use that first draft to see what's missing, what is feeling uninspired, etc. If I need to, sometimes I go looking for fanart or references in pinterest or even watch some fight scenes, sex scenes etc.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

r: Start doing sprints. It was a game changer for my writing and my general enjoyment of the writing process. I used to get so caught up on what I was writing, so worried that it was bad or that it didn't make sense or that I didn't know what word would fit there or how this character would respond in this specific dialogue or or OR! It can be honestly maddening to get too caught up on things. Sprinting helps you move forward, helps you become more confident and it's just all around good for you hahah It's so so much easier to edit words on a page than it is to stare at a blank document trying to put down the most perfect words outta nowhere. (btw, if someone doesn't know how sprinting works, hmu)

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

r: Bah. Idk. I think all of these things are important in my fics, especially the long ones. I tend to prioritise one or another during certain points but I don't think about my style in terms of "or" and more like "and"? I'm curious what y'all think about my style though!

get to know your fic writer asks

(or just hmu w any questions you have heh <3)

[chewtoyboytoy]

Okay I wanna talk about some thoughts I have regarding "Saltburn".

To set the tone: I am so incredibly conflicted about this movie.

It is visually STUNNING. It looks like everything my dark academia obsessed heart fantasizes about. However, the dark academia vibe it was so clearly going for stops at the visuals.

The plot is interesting, but it takes the bare bones of DarkAc stories and works off of that alone. You've got the Outsider getting a closer look at opulence and trying to learn how to fit in as they go. You've got "the unspoken game", and the tension that you never know if it'll manifest into sex or violence or both. However, the plot is kind of... shallow? And it doesn't even reveal itself as such until the end, which feels like a soft betrayal. If that's the angle it was going for - a betrayal by Oliver to the audience just as he's betrayed all the other characters - it's a success, but not a satisfying one.

Speaking of the ending though, it was incredibly Hollywood. It very much felt like "assume the audience is stupid, so make sure to spell everything out." We knew Oliver killed those people. We could tell by his reactions to their deaths. We didn't need to see how he did it, and by doing so, it opened up avenues of how he shouldn't have been able to get away with it. If we never knew how he did it, we could plausibly assume it must have been in such a way that it was undetectable. By not knowing, we'd have also been that much more terrified by Oliver. We'd never know just how much he was capable of, each viewer coming to their own worst possible scenario. It should've been left open ended.

Additionally, a staple of DarkAc is it's subtly. Even when things FEEL bold, rarely are they actually. Most everything in "Saltburn" feels bold because it IS. The Bathtub scene is the most talked about and gagged over scene, and yet, it was the most subtle of the major Gross Events(tm). THAT felt DarkAc. The Grave scene did not.

This movie also enlightened me to a fixture of DarkAc that I hadn't noticed before, despite it being so clearly plain to see - its use of language. Whatever opinions you may have on the genre or these specific books, "The Secret History," by Donna Tart and "If We Were Villains," by M.L. Rio and "The Atlas Six,' by Olivie Blake are incredibly beautiful reads. The words chosen mean everything. When it comes to film, you are limited exclusively to dialogue when it comes to word choice.

There are ways around this, like NBC's "Hannibal", where it's made clear immediately that Everyone Just Talks Like That. The world is built in a way that allows the writers to use all the purple prose they want without it feeling ill-fitting to the characters. In "Saltburn", the characters had their own voice that needed to be worked around. I'm not saying it would have been better to go the Hannibal route, just pointing out how it limited their language extensively.

Despite all this, I still really liked the film. But it wasn't DarkAc, it was DarkAc camp. Which is fun, too - an entertaining film is a successful film. And boy, you could not pry my eyes away from that screen.

4/5 stars :) 👍

[id-rather-be-home]

I'm keen for more switch chapters if you see it fit! I never want to tell you how to write and I pray this doesn't sound that way, I just wanted to say as someone who likes the switch dynamic, I think you'll be fine pleasing everyone as long as all dynamics are respected! like in bottom will chapters, even if your intention is that he prefers topping (or I read wrong maybe he realizes he aligns more with switchvers as time goes on!), it'd be cool if he's not totally trashing his experience bottoming if it's not relevant. same with mike domming. basically like hammering in "how their dynamic is supposed to be". I think on the chapter where he rode mike it felt like he was disgusted, and maybe that's just me who can't see either of them not liking both roles, but I remember deflating a little at his reaction. he is quite stoic and not his usual self during sex though so maybe it was him still in that zone. but ik you just said it is primarily for bottom mike enjoyers, so I honestly just mean IF, only if, you're going to explore more switchversing in it and you're concerned about making others happy, I'll just say that part of the audience just wants to feel welcome is all, even if it's short term! 🩵

oof did it really come across that will was disgusted in the chapter that he rode mike?? like, this is a genuine question if you anon (or anyone else) wants to answer! because i knew will felt kinda… off that chapter during the sex scene but i literally could not fix it because it’s hard for me personally to write will bottoming apparently. i was THIS close to having will tell mike that he didn’t want to continue when mike checked in on him that chapter because his headspace felt weird to me

or wait. are you saying that will is stoic and not like his usual self in all their sex scenes?? because i had no clue he came across that way and is the furthest thing from what i want to portray. maybe he is though idk??? i always thought he came across as playful and teasing, if not a little taunting at times during certain scenes and chapters but not stoic

and my intention is never to trash one dynamic over the other! i’m really sorry if that has accidentally come across in the writing

idk i’m sorry i don’t know what else to say to this because i genuinely had no idea people were getting disgusted and stoic vibes from will which is kind of disheartening to hear

would anyone be able to add to what anon was saying? or maybe confirm things that i potentially misunderstood?

[beevean]

What annoys you about the Netflix version of Castlevania? 👀

Mostly the fact that it has become the face of the series. I pointed out already that on AO3, 2/3rds of Castlevania fics are based on the cartoon - at best, some fics aren't even tagged.

Tumblr is even worse. Search for "Castlevania" and notice how many posts are about the cartoon.

For more specific things... I may have become a fan of the series relatively recently, but to me the whole show feels like the showrunners really wanted to make a Berserk anime, and slapped on it the Castlevania aesthetic. And I'm a big Berserk fan! But not when you mix concepts this way. Just because both series deal with monsters and are set in the middle ages doesn't mean that they have quite the same vibe.

Then there is the questionable treatment of characters. Grant was adapted out of what was supposed to be a C3 adaptation because Ellis decided that his name was stupid and that his pirate-like appearance didn't fit the setting, even though Grant isn't a pirate, he's a thief. Trevor is pigeonholed in the character archetype of "drunkard asshole", even though he already had a fairly interesting personality in Curse of Darkness that could have been elaborated on, honorable but arrogant and hotheaded. Carmilla hasn't appeared much in the series, but the few times she did, she sure wasn't a radfem girlboss who dismissed Dracula as yet another "stupid old man". And boy help you if you like Hector, Isaac and/or St. Germain, because they bothered to bring them back, but the former is... well, I don't know what other term to use but he was pretty much ukeified, with how his main trait seems to be naiveté and how he gets imprisoned, beaten up and enslaved (did we really need to see his dick flap around as Lenore is beating the shit out of him? Now you're just humiliating him); and the other two have nothing in common with their game counterparts other than their names and somewhat their powers. You know why I reblog Isaac fanart from 10 years ago? Because now the tag is full of posts about the Netflix character (even "Isaac Laforeze", even though by logic it makes no sense that Netflix!Isaac would be called that way, Julia Laforeze doesn't exist in the cartoon), with some fans even saying things like "sometimes wildly deviating from the source material is the best idea" :') also, how can you even write Death as not being the biggest Dracula simp? C'mon.

(yes I'm particularly bitter about Isaac. I would have accepted if they just replaced him with an OC, and I'm sure that Netflix!Isaac is a great character too so I understand why he's so popular. Replacing the original version with an OC but keeping the same name is just sleazy, like you want credit for "fixing" the "bad" character but not putting any thought in salvaging what could be salvageable, it's lazy)

Another thing that I find sus is the overabundance of OCs. I'm biased because I watched in real time IDW Sonic shift focus from the canon characters to the new characters to the point that the cover of #50 didn't even feature the titular character, but it says something that big bad Dracula dies halfway through, and then the series is about a council of 4 new villains. And yes, I'm biased because of scenes like this:

Tell me if it doesn't look like the show really wants to show how #girlboss Carmilla is compared to dumb Dracula. He can't even command a room.

Then there are... dubious writing moments. The series makes the common mistake of thinking that swearwords are witty, to the point that even Alucard says "fuck you" to Trevor and shows him the middle finger (because haha he's becoming like trevor). St. Germain is just embarassing, going from a refined yet quirky 19th century dandy man to someone who says "I am immortal and glorious, and all these other people smell of piss" or "God is now standing right in front of you. And soon, very, very, soon... he's going to have sex again". And Death... oh, Death, what happened to you...

I'm also baffled when they try to apply logic to vampire lore? It feels like the writers felt too smart for their own good. I can't find it on YT but at one point the character just stop in their tracks to argue the validity of the conception that vampires can't cross running water, just because. And the explanation to why every vampire hates crosses is just ridiculous, sorry.

And then there's the offensive stuff. Hector sticks his dick in Lenore, she tricks him into becoming her sex slave/pet, and yet in the next season they basically develop feelings for each other? And she's painted in a tragic light? She's basically Dahlia Hawthorne with a dom fetish (which I'm not even opposed to, she seems to be an interesting villain at first) and I'm supposed to feel sorry for her? In the same episode there's a random threesome between Alucard and two people he welcomed into the castle, but it was all a ruse to try to kill him, and he's traumatized for... a few episodes? Then he gets better? Just enough to show him pissing on their corpses. Thanks.

(and I'm not even getting into the fact that Ellis himself has been accused of sexual misconduct, which makes these scenes even more uncomfortable)

So yeah. I don't personally resent Netflixvania, and I know that there are some good moments in it ("Lisa, I'm killing our boy..."), but from what I've seen so far, the series simply doesn't deserve to massively overshadow the game series - not even because of quality issues, but because at the end of the day it doesn't have much to do with the games beyond some superficial references.

[renaultmograine]

Okay, Edwin and Genn are obvious, Flynn too although I'd also accept "siren magic ignores sexuality", Nathanos works specifically under the rule of "he is of the opinion that his sexuality is whatever the Dark Lady says it is", but as far as I know Thassarian's only implied to be gay, there's nothing on Darion one way or the other, and like... Varian?????? Like, that whole scene where he calls Anduin "soft" had enormous "this is a euphemism for a slur Blizzard won't let Golden use" energy.

ok so the post is for most part tongue in cheek, and i have some answers to this that are still tongue in cheek and some that are serious, so i'll label those. also "genn is obvious" yes he is thank you.

serious: flynn's bisexual because he is canonically, regardless of a siren's slimey hooha.

serious: nathanos drips sex in every threat he gives. he's out here with the 'oh tyrande, night warrior' and 'leaving so soon, shaw? aw, what a pity' that i think even if he's not bisexual (which i dont really care either way) he's going to be vaguely horny towards anyone he's threatening anyway, and that fits in the spirit of what i'm trying to convey.

serious: thassarian is not implied to be gay, he's friends with koltira, and i 100% believe in his straightness. however i can make jokes at the expense of that and i can capitalize on that. besides, the post is about being a metaphor for bisexuality. it's not if they're bisexual, it's that these are presumed straight (rarely specified) men dual wielding. a sword in both hands, if an innuendo gets the point across.

tongue in cheek: darion doesn't dual wield in two occasions, and that's in front of his paladin father and when sieging icc post messy break up with arthas (which later also is in front of his father). take the implications as you will.

tongue in cheek: varian has an entire comic about how a female dragon wanted to fuck him, so she split his personality in half to make it somehow easier, and then kept around the 'politican side' of him that was noticeably not preforming masculinity outside hoity-toity boar hunts with the boys, while the "wild" half of him is out traipsing around kalimdor with two elves, one a scantily clad lady, the other a bear, and killing people in gladiator fights while dual-wielding. what kinda heterosexual vibes does that give?

serious: do you think christie golden would honest to god call anduin a slur when that's her blorbo. she prides herself on her job with anduin's writing and how he's not the typical masculine archetypes. do you honestly think varian would call anduin a slur. does he seem like the type.

[cangrellesteponme]

13, 14, and 19 for the writing asks!

What feedback did you receive for your writing that stuck with you?

This is going to sound very stupid, but what haunts me is the importance of making your work readable.

How well or shittily you write doesn't matter if your work is an ugly wall of text that no one will read. I was taught about that in detail when I was around 11 (harsh teachers...), and then I was told how to do it a bit better when I was 13. As you know, I'm 20, so... yeah never forgetting that.

But yeah, learn from me (and my French teachers) and fix your format. Prescriptivism is inherently wrong and all but if you want to listen, or at least know the rules before you break them, it's easy.

A new idea is a new paragraph. Dialogue is a new paragraph. Use the right quotation marks for your language. Use the right dialogue format too. Free Indirect Speech or Thought is a new paragraph unless it actually fits into the idea you're developing (and italicise that shit, for the love of god, unless you're intentionally making it unclear). Use your tenses correctly (English literally has two. Just pick one and stick to it, or if you want to switch it up, do so only if it actually adds to your storytelling).

This is like, some basic Writing Format 101, and I have a lot more things to say (especially as someone who has corrected, proofread, and reviewed a fuckton of writing from their peers) but that would take hours.

What is something that you feel weird/uncomfortable writing about?

Plenty of things, actually.

We all know that I only write sex scenes if I'm paid to do it, so there's that. I may fit the "all aces write good smut" cliché but I am not willing, okay.

But also writing very emotional characters is out of my comfort zone. For Open The Door, I wrote from Virgil's (the literal embodiment of anxiety) POV and through the whole thing I was like "what does severe anxiety even feel like... i think i'm actually writing sensory overload there let me fix that... oh no that's PTSD... eh, that works" because I'm simply not a very anxious person. And I struggle with big emotions in general for the same reason - I'm just a very repressed rational bitch.

I also have a hard time writing empathy, comfort, and all those complex... social things. I'm not talking in terms of skill, or ability - I mean that I'm honestly just not having a great time with those things because it takes so much effort (but I balance it out with more fun stuff! like heartbreaking angst <3).

Show us the line you want readers to remember from your story.

I'll answer this for Staring Contest, obviously.

It has to be one of those two:

"Baldroy does not like many things about many people, but today he decides that he particularly hates the way Sebastian Michaelis looks at their young master."

"There’s something fragile and worn, a breath away from breaking, bubbling under the surface but ready to cool down in a second."

Obviously, Staring Contest has no dialogue (except one line from Ciel, because I simply couldn't be bothered to change it) and a very honest focaliser, which kind of restricted my ability to hide the truth in a bunch of lies so I had to work a lot with omissions.

With the first line, I think what I'm implying is obvious (even the second, more disturbing layer of it also is. i mean we've all read the manga. canon seb is a creep), and I want the reader to keep that in mind, for reasons similar to the second line. For the second one, I wanted it to be a sweet, memorable line with just a hint of carefully sprinkled pain.

For both of those, what you should remember is that appearances or suddenly developed feelings of paternal affection don't matter - this is still a dangerous demon whose sole intent is to get that dinner. The affection is fragile not only because it's new, but also because it can and will be crushed if needed. Both of those line highlight, in different ways, how fucked up this all is. But yeah it's all hidden in the fluffy dadbastian vibes.

[babyrdie]

A favorite type of ship dynamic? And one you don't like? (the type that would put you off reading or watching the story for example)

Analyzing my shipps, a very common dynamic is the cliché of the introverted character x extroverted character or irritated character x calm/controlled character, in which both are traumatized but demonstrate it in different ways and eventually help each other heal. I like this trope because it's very easy for the characters to complement each other, and I like this union. In addition, it often shows how differences can work. I don't know if I'd say it's my favorite (I don't even know if I have one), but it's definitely common on my ships.

Examples: an example of introvert x extrovert is Sokka x Zuko x Suki (or Sokka x Zuko. I think Suki x Sokka doesn't fit because Suki is neither exactly introverted nor extroverted in my opinion) and Shinobu X Mitsuri. An example of irritated x controlled/calm is Feng Xin x Mu Qing.

If it doesn't necessarily need to be a trope… I really like ships whose friendship is extremely important. I'm not talking about the bland "your husband/wife is your best friend" nor when the friendship clearly only serves the narrative to develop the romance, I'm talking about when the friendship is SO good that even without the characters being a couple chemistry is so good that they're undeniably a great duo with an incredible relationship. This really resonates with me as aroace, because when I think about a possible partner in the future I always think about a queerplatonic relationship, which is something I don't see being defined by either friendship or romance. This kind of dynamic also only works for me in M/M and F/F ships, because usually in M/F it's very obvious that the friendship is there for the romance (for example, I LOVE Percabeth. But the truth is that already in book 1 it was very obvious that they were going to have a romantic relationship, no matter how cute the friendship was. And if they were just friends, there would be frustration. It's not this type of dynamic I'm talking about)

Examples: Ino x Sakura, Patroclus x Achilles, Gilgamesh x Enkidu.

Of course, it's not necessary to be part of these dynamics for me to like the shipp. Percabeth is neither, and I like it. Kabru x Laios and Marcille x Falin don't exactly fit these tropes either, and I like them. When I read Carmilla, I liked Laura x Carmilla (although I didn't like the book itself as much).

As for a dynamic that I don't like and that discourages me… I'm going to ignore the most obvious answers and talk about dynamics that are okay, I just don't like. Starting with a specifically M/F: the man with a difficult past, who is powerful, muscular and tall, is protective and a threat to other people but is vulnerable with his girlfriend x the small woman, generally protected, unsure of herself, whose strength is kindness and which is this man's safe haven. And then there's some iconic scene of the man thinking he's a terrible person/a monster and the woman being like oh honey, don't be like that, you're amazing, you're sweet to me!! and blah blah. And in most cases her first time (sex) was with him too because she was so insecure before him. I tend to find it extremely booooring, I'm sorry!!! It's really a dynamic that made me lose interest in things I wanted to read, and I've even stopped following artists when I noticed that this was their most popular type of dynamic, because it's not my vibe.

Now one that I don't like in M/F, F/F and M/M in general… is the sexually experienced partner who is an asshole because they have traumas and then uses the inexperienced and ingenuous character, who has their heart broken because they wanted romance and are treated as just a disposable sex partner. And then after the experienced partner makes the inexperienced partner suffer for who knows how long, they end up together and everything is resolved. In M/F, the experienced 99% of the time is the man and the inexperienced 99% of the time is the woman. In same-gender couples, the roles of bottom/top are generally very restricted and the one who plays the top role is the unbearable one. I don't care enough about sex for a narrative in which sex is the main element to attract me immediately, so there has to be something more. If the "something more" is this annoying drama, I'm definitely not feeling excited to see this story.

[mermaidsirennikita]

As I mentioned earlier today, Goodreads posted its Top 100 Romances of the Past Three Years today.

Some things to know:

A) Goodreads is not a tastemaker explicitly--it's a logging site. But nonetheless, we know that Goodreads is references by publishers, authors, agents, industry people far and wide, because it is the dominant book logging site. (Plug for The Storygraph, which isn't perfect either but allows you to log .25, .5, and .75 ratings, and get more granular about the vibe of a book as you rate it. Its CEO and co-founder is a Black woman, Nadia Odunayo, as a note.)

B) Goodreads is owned by Amazon, which, as the Big Five publishers have made abundantly clear recently, has a direct connection to many of the book sales made today. Take that and run with it.

C) This list is theoretically not something Goodreads arbitrarily selected via staffers, it's true. They're following the "trends" of their users. But that... is not an exact science, as several books here would not necessarily fit the parameters of a romance (which, admittedly, are subjective to an extent).

Furthermore, these books are largely traditionally published--some self-published books are here, though a few were originally self-published before getting picked up by a trad publisher. This is seems odd, as romance has notoriously boomed in recent years within indie channels.

And, let's call a spade a spade here--these books are more often than not, white and/or cishet.

Another thing I noticed about the list as I went through it, real-time recording my dumb little reactions, was the repetition? And I get that Goodreads is saying "this is what we noticed most", but let's be real--these lists can potentially be great promotional tools. It just seems sloppy to compile it in this way and go "welp, that's on the Goodreads users!" Like, mostly my (very arbitrary and shallow) beef with this list is how lazy it is. But then again, it's February and these are romance novels....

What I find to be a particular bummer is how the books clearly don't reflect.... what hardcore romance readers are into? Which, I guess it wouldn't. Goodreads is more general, and that's fine. But damn. Lots of contemporary romances, a handful of historicals, a few fantasy or fantasy-lite romances here and there. No monsterfucking books? Really? In 2023? Come on now.

I think the data here is skewed, likely--but I'm not saying it's completely off. What I am saying is that this list has had zero effort put into it, and it's not so much about what romance readers are reading, but what everyone (which includes people who Don't Read Romance but will Read That Special Book That Totally Isn't A Romance) is reading. So. Remember that grain of salt. And remember how this is affecting publishing, and how self-publishing really, truly could be the future of progressive (and for that matter, edgy and groundbreaking) romance.

Anyway, here's my painstaking, needless recording of thoughts.

People We Meet On Vacation by Emily Henry.

Rating: DNF

Thoughts: I started this, but quickly stopped it upon getting wind of the lack of heat--I'm a reluctant reader of friends to lovers in general, but when it hits it hits. However, in order for it to hit for me, it must have.... extreme heat. I don't personally enjoy a slow, chaste build in friends to lovers. I will also add that I've heard about some issues with this one? In regards to a tragic "my girlfriend had an abortion" backstory?

The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood.

Rating: 4/5.

Thoughts: This one has gotten a lot of shit for being a converted Reylo fic, which I personally find either innocuous or delightful depending on the day. It doesn't reinvent the wheel--it's a fun grumpy/sunshine, I like the STEM backdrop, it doesn't have as many sex scenes as I'd like but the one it does have is quite long, quite hot, and has things I've seen some naively deride (he puts her whole mosquito bite boob in his mouth--trust, this can be done) (he eats... his own cum out of her, it's a closed loop system) (squelching, ewwww!!! Or uh... squelching... tell me what page that's on...) while I find them fun. I don't know why this book is promoted as the hottest thing ever because it's not, but I also don't know why it's controversial. It's pretty easy to see why it took off.

Beach Read by Emily Henry.

Rating: 4/5.

Thoughts: Maybe I'd lower this to a 3/5 in hindsight? Not sure. I read this pre-Storygraph (for me). On there, it would probably be a 3.5/5. It's very pleasant and I enjoyed the romance for what it was, but it is... very much romance-lite. I'd call it a romance, but it's for people who want to say they're reading it for the daddy issues when they're reading it for the hot author guy. It's nice!

Reminders of Him by Colleen Hoover.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: I tend to wonder if anything Colleen writes is romance versus women's fiction, but whatever. I haven't read this and I won't.

Book Lovers by Emily Henry.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Have not read, probably will not due to the lack of heat Emily seems be favoring (Beach Read did have a mild, but not unheated, sex scene).

The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas.

Rating: 2/5

Thoughts: The heroine's lack of professionalism and maturity in the workplace really didn't work for me. I couldn't take her seriously. None of it read as real (this is an issue I have with contemporaries--you either go completely bananas or go completely real, in my opinion, and many try to sit in the middle). I get why people are into it, but it's not for me.

It Starts with Us by Colleen Hoover.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: At least it's not the one actively about the abusive husband, just the sequel...

Things We Never Got Over by Lucy Score.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: I'm totally unfamiliar with this. As it involves the heroine raising a child, I probably won't, but rock on I guess?

It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey.

Rating: 3/5

Thoughts: Some Tessa stuff has worked for me in the past, some hasn't--due to some issues I have with her work, I'm currently not looking for more? This was cute and hot in some sections... Others I found a bit hard to believe; I struggle with the way her heroes speak, though I know some love it. I love dirty talk, something is just missing here for me. Also, I can't handle the Back to Front Scene.

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: I liked Red, White, and Royal Blue, but I didn't love it. I may get around to this one day. It sounds cute. Yay sapphics!

Every Summer After by Carley Fortune.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: It looks nice?

Love on the Brain by Ali Hazelwood.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Will read eventually. Once it's off hold in like, five years.

Twisted Love by Ana Huang.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Everyone and their mom has been talking about this. The content warnings have me intrigued. Will read.

Hook, Line, and Sinker by Tessa Bailey.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Probably will not read.

The Soulmate Equation by Christina Lauren

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Probably will not read. I actually really enjoyed Beautiful Bastard and want to read more of their early work, but the more recent stuff is too sweet for me. Would recommend to those who want milder, lower heat books though!

Seven Days in June by Tia Williams.

Rating: 3/5

Thoughts: I had a hard time getting into this, likely because the heroine is a single mother, but I loved the setting, the writing style, and the connection between the hero and heroine.

Neon Gods by Katee Robert

Rating: Have not read (finished)

Thoughts: I had to stop this one and haven't gotten back into it yet. I liked what I was read and I will eventually!!!

The Ex Hex by Erin Sterling.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will try eventually.

The Fine Print by Lauren Asher.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: I'll check it out. I have a love/hate relationship with billionaire romances.

In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: See earlier comments on current Christina Lauren books.

Twisted Games by Ana Huang

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Kind of insane to me that Goodreads repeats authors so often in this list.

You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle.

Rating: 3/5

Thoughts: Read this long ago, would amend to 2/5 as I actively wanted the couple to break up. It possessed an issue I see in many contemporaries where behavior that is kind of insane is painted as totally normal and cute because it's a romcom~.

The Cheat Sheet by Sarah Adams.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Not for me I think.

Twisted Hate by Ana Huang

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Good for Ana Huang, sincerely, but it feels like... not much effort... was put into this list.

The American Roommate Experiment by Elena Armas

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Will not read.

The Heart Principle by Helen Hoang

Rating: 4/5

Thoughts: I understand the debate around this being a romance. If Beach Read can be one, so can this. It's very intense and hard to read, but well-written and worth reading if you're the right audience.

Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: I love A Lady for A Duke by Alexis, but I'm not sure if this one has sex in it or not--if it doesn't, it's not for me, but I have two of his upcoming books in my TBR. Would recommend his writing in general.

The Switch by Beth O'Leary

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Will not read.

Icebreaker by Hannah Grace.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: I do love figure skating... and I've recently started paying attention to hockey... Will consider.

Terms and Conditions by Lauren Asher.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Isn't it funny that so many authors repeat?

All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will not read.

Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussman.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Never heard of this before, and it sounds cute. Will investigate further!

Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert.

Rating: 4/5

Thoughts: My least favorite of the trilogy, but Talia doesn't really miss, and it's super good.

The Road Trip by Beth O'Leary

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Will not read.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan.

Rating: 4/5 (on Storygraph I'd probably go 4.5/5)

Thoughts: So GOOD. Pro sex worker, hot as fuck, emotional, all about sex positivity.

Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert.

Rating: 4/5

Thoughts: I like this even more than Dani Brown. ASD rep from both the hero and the heroine, and the sparkly purple dildo scene was hotter than it had any right to be. Oh, here's this sparkly purple dildo my friend had hiding in her bed, I guess I'll just fuck her with it???

The Ex Talk by Rachel Lynn Solomon.

Rating: 4/5

Thoughts: This may be more of a 3.5/5 for me? Anyway, it was cute, I remember enjoying the heroine being older than the hero.

Twisted Lies by Ana Huang

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: I feel like people are gonna come at Ana for being on the list a billion times but... don't.

The Bodyguard by Katherine Center.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will not read.

Part of Your World by Abby Jiminez

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: May read.

Hooked by Emily McIntire.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Has been on my TBR for a while. Eventually...

Second First Impressions by Sally Thorne.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: I don't know if current era Sally is for me?

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Will not read

By a Thread by Lucy Score

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: We'll see?

The Happy Ever After Playlist by Abby Jiminez

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Maybe someday.

The Two Lives of Lydia Bird by Josie Silver.

Rating: 2/5

Thoughts: This didn't read like a romance to me.

The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Not for me, I think.

Something Wilder by Christina Wilder.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: See above.

My Killer Vacation by Tessa Bailey.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will not read.

This Time Next Year by Sophie Cousens.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will not read.

A Not So Meet Cute by Meghan Quinn.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: I may read this--I have an ARC from Meghan to read soon, so if I like it, this may follow?

A Touch of Ruin by Scarlett St. Clair.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: Isn't this a later book in a series? Will not read.

Good Girl Complex by Elle Kennedy.

Rating: Have not read

Thoughts: I have not read Elle yet--I have an ARC of hers coming up. Maybe I'll read this if I like that?

Shipped by Angie Hockman.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will not read.

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa.

Rating: 4/5

Thoughts: This was quite cute, and I enjoyed the sex scenes/hooking up with her ex-fiance's brother aspect a lot.

If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: May read--fake dating in contemporaries is hit or miss for me.

King of Battle and Blood by Scarlett St. Clair.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will not read.

Life's Too Short by Abby Jimenez.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: May read.

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: May read, but I've also heard it's not a romance? Need clarity.

Delilah Green Doesn't Care by Ashley Herring Blake

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read, love the cover.

Electric Idol by Katee Robert.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read.

The Dating Plan by Sarah Desai.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read eventually.

The Takeover by T.L. Swan

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: You had me until the heroine has three unruly sons.

Dating Dr. Dil by Nisha Sharma.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read.

The Honey-Don't List by Christina Lauren.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: See above.

A Touch of Malice by Scarlett St. Clair

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will not read.

Written in the Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Have an ARC by her on the docket, will read this if I like it!

Love Her or List Her by Tessa Bailey.

Rating: 2/5.

Thoughts: I had many issues with this one.

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: I may read other books by Olivia, but this books surrounding this TV show many not be for me.

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: I like behind the scenes looks at reality TV. Will read.

Mr. Wrong Number by Lynn Painter.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read. Though the steamy text~ mentioned in the summary better be steamy!

The Roughest Draft by Emily Wibberley.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: May read.

You Made A Fool of Death with Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read.

Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will not read.

The Wedding Crasher by Mia Sosa.

Rating: 3/5.

Thoughts: Did not enjoy this as much as the first, unfortunately.

You had Me At Hola by Alexis Daria.

Rating: 3/5.

Thoughts: Fun, but I prefer Daria's Take the Lead. I suspect the hero being a single dad brought this down for me.

The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels by India Holton.

Rating: 5/5.

Thoughts: Love it and totally recommend it.

A Rogue of One's Own by Evie Dunmore.

Rating: 2/5.

Thoughts: General issues with the place of these books in historical romance, my God, the racism in this one.

Portrait of a Scotsman by Evie Dunmore.

Rating: 3/5.

Thoughts: Her best sex scenes, solid hero, horrible ending.

First Comes Scandal by Julia Quinn.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Probably won't read.

A Lady's Guide to Fortune-Hunting by Sophie Irwin.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will I read? I don't know, I've never heard of it and I'm not sure how hot it is...?

Chasing Cassandra by Lisa Kleypas.

Rating: 3/5.

Thoughts: Fine, but a mid Kleypas for me.

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: I've never heard of it but it sounds kinda lit...?

To Love and To Loathe by Martha Waters.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read.... eventually.

Never Fall for Your Fiancee by Virginia Heath.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: My last Virginia Heath was a 3/5, so not sure if I'll read.

Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read, I think? Never heard of it before.

Reputation by Lex Croucher.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Unlikely to read.

The League of Gentlewomen Witches by India Holton.

Rating: 5/5.

Thoughts: Love, would recommend. Even better than the first.

Sea of Ruin by Pam Godwin.

Rating: 2/5.

Thoughts: Charleston, SC is in the lowcountry. Heroine's mom jumps off a cliff. We don't have cliffs there. It got worse from that point.

A Lady for A Duke by Alexis Hall.

Rating: 5/5.

Thoughts: Love it, so emotional, would recommend wholeheartedly. It's so good.

Devil in Disguise by Lisa Kleypas.

Rating: 4/5.

Thoughts: It's not her best, but I had fun!

Bombshell by Sarah MacLean.

Rating: 4/5.

Thoughts: A strong series starter, though I prefer Heartbreaker. Very enjoyable, would recommend.

The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Unlikely to read.

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read.

The Heiress Gets A Duke by Harper St. George.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read. I kind of like the covers for these books? I don't know if that's Controversial But Brave or not.

Always Be My Duchess by Amalie Howard.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read, though I deeply prefer her other covers.........

Slippery Creatures by K.J. Charles.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read.

Daring and the Duke by Sarah MacLean

Rating: 5/5

Thoughts: I love this one, will recommend.

To Marry and To Meddle by Martha Waters.

Rating: Have not read.

Thoughts: Will read.

[potatowitch]

I would love to know 23, 44, 46 for Alexis 😍

23. What is your Tav's favourite moment they've had with their lover?

That's a really hard question to answer, because she genuinely loves being around Astarion so much. So many of the little things they do together are very fond memories for her. I think if she had to pick, at least in the space of time the game takes place, she'd choose the graveyard scene (and resulting fade to black) after they kill Cazador. Astarion in that moment is so genuine, vulnerable and open, fully got his whole heart on show in that moment, and fully free for the first time; and Alexis adores getting to see him like that. Following the very emotional (yet still a bit giggly) grave sex they have, they get a lovely cuddle before they have to toss on clothes haphazardly and run away cackling because someone walked into the graveyard and they were at risk of being arrested for indecent exposure.

44. What song best represents your Tav?

Funnily enough, Alexis doesn't have A Song. I've got a whole playlist of songs that are her vibes, but nothing that's like. The one song that I can point to and go "that describes her perfectly". Her playlist is also constantly changing, bc it was originally made in Early Access when I had very little idea where I wanted to go with Alexis lmao, and I'm still very much working on finding songs that really fit her.

All this to say is, lyrics-wise they don't fit her all that well, but Black Magic by Magic Wands, Dark Matter by Les Friction, and Electra Heart by MARINA are all, at least vibe-wise, very Alexis songs in my head. In terms of Alexis/Astarion songs, The Sacrament by HIM is Their Song, in my mind.

46. What role would your Tav play in a high school AU?

The goth girl who hangs out with the nerd crowd sometimes and who every baby goth and blossoming emo kid in the younger grades stares at in awe. You highly suspect she shoplifted a fat chunk of her wardrobe from Hot Topic because you KNOW her family is broke and there's no way she actually bought her Demonias, those things cost hundreds of dollars.