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princessb4mbi · 1 year

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MESSAGES I CAN’T SEND

꩜ tags black!reader, therapist!eren, college setting, age gap (reader in 20s, eren in 30s), power dynamic, not so protective sex? mentions of death [not proofread]

꩜ synopsis isn’t it obvious to hide your private life better? or was it not obvious when a video of you dry-humping a pillow was sent to your therapist.

@ word count 3.6k

story below the cut !!

ever since you’ve lost your mother to old age, your mental health has spiraled downwards a little bit. you’ve had the privilege of knowing when she WOULD die and at-least died in a proper place rather than somewhere shitty, so that’s cheered your spirits up a little bit. she was your best friend though, and losing your best friend is painful. you went to her whenever you could, talked on the phone for hours, and slept in her bed every night as if you were still five years old.

you weren’t the only one suffering though, your childhood friend sasha couldn’t stand watching you wither away. even though she did everything she could, she knew she was capable of oh so much.

“do you want me to hook you up with my therapist? he’ll seriously help you clear all cloudy thoughts away y/n,” sasha says caressing your cheeks

you move your face away from her hand, “they aren’t cloudy thoughts sas, im just grieving my mother..”

“i know baby, i know.. but i don’t want to grieve YOU if you die of a heartbreak. i want you to get better, physically and mentally.” sasha looks at me emphatically.

she pulls out her phone and scrolls through her contacts until stopping at a card called “dr.jaeger”. “listen, give him a call please. his prices are cheap and his place is nice. it’s not like those dull white offices with an ugly long chair and a monotone person.”

you sighed, reluctantly agreeing to her copying and pasting the number to your phone. “okey, i gotta go now babe, but PROMISE me you’ll give him a call, he’ll help you, and if he doesn’t i’ll play for any of your bills ok?” sasha says packing up her stuff. she kisses your cheek before leaving the quiet study area, leaving you alone to your own thoughts.

you stare at the contact card, pulling dr. jaeger’s name up on your laptop and scrolling through his website. sasha was right about one thing, his prices WERE cheap. about $65 an hour and he also had packages where two weeks of therapy would be about $350 in total.

the prices however, weren’t enough to convince you fully, as your scroll down to see the reviews.

“dr. jaeger saved me. after the loss of my wife, i never felt like so lonely, but my daughter told me about him and he’s helped me heal properly and not turn to anything crazy. he’s an amazing person with amazing talents as such a young age. 5 stars”

ok.. that was something. not that you were going to invalidate them, but that seemed just.. fake. you decided to read another one.

“oh my gosh. no one would believe how amazing someone is at listening and understanding a person’s thoughts. dr. jaeger was nothing like those terrible therapists who make you pay $100 for an shitty hour call. oh how i wished i can say more, but the character limit is fu”

you giggled at that one. maybe i should give him a call. with a deep breath, you called the number.

“hello? my name is y/n, i’d like to speak to dr. jaeger please.”

—

it’s been about a month since you’ve scheduled a session with dr. jaeger, only having to wait that long due to “heavy traffic”. sasha is currently driving you to the building.

“you know, i’m really proud of you for calling. i was scared you were going to stay depressed forever.” sasha says over her 80s radio playing.

“let’s not get too happy yet, he could still be shit at his job..” you say cutting down any happy thoughts.

“you’re STILL doubting him y/n? i get that some people are money hungry, but i promise you he’s not. if he was, do you think ME of all people would be recommending you to him? i mean c’mon, have some faith please.”

“i’m sorry, i just nervous ok. my stomach is doing backflips at the moment.”

“hey man, if you feel like farting, ill park somewhere and you can walk the rest of the way.”

you two pull up to the parking lot, fancy with a modern style front. the office itself if very modern and 2 floored.

“k, i’m gonna drop you off here, call me when you’re done ok?”

you walk out of sasha’s car, waving her goodbye while she drives away. you walk into the sleek office, with painting from what you the assume were from the last two centuries.

the receptionist greets you with a nice smile “welcome, how may i help you today?” you give her your name. “ah i see, you right on time then, ill have this guard guide you to dr. jaeger’s office.” just then, a semi tall man with a black uniform from comes in-front of me. “right this way.”

he leads me into the elevator, where he then leads me into a hallway with lots of rooms. there’s multiple therapists in this building, all with different ways. as i look through the glass windows, i see pet therapy, group therapy and even massage therapy. the guard finally stops at a door, with a name tag having “DR. JAEGER” on it. “here’s your room, have a nice day.” he says as he’s walking away. you give him a quick thank you and knock on the door.

a deep “come in.” follows shortly after, and you enter the room. first impression of when you enter the room was that sasha was right. the room was anything from boring, and didn’t have white walls but instead had a mix of brown and auburn. there was lots of old-style decor too. a record player, cd’s and even the tv was kinda old.

however you were greeted with the most shocking thing of all, dr. jaeger himself. he looked away from his papers, to look at you and gave you a warm smile. his visuals was… something you didn’t expect. most therapist are middle-aged men and women, that are sort-of not the most attractive. but that was ok, because they wanted to help you, not seduce you. dr. jaeger on the other hand was extremely beautiful. he has dark brown hair, put up in a semi-messy bun, the most luscious green eyes, and very kissable pink lips.

i guess you were admiring his facial features for too long to notice dr. jaeger looking at you weirdly. “maybe un-responsive.” he mutters to himself, typing down on his laptop. upon hearing his words, you apologize and scurried to the seat in-front of him.

“or not. . . my name is dr. jaeger, if you’ve haven’t gotten a chance to see on the door.”

“i did, sorry for not responding earlier.”

“it’s ok, its common for most genders to be shocked at how i look.” dr. jaeger said in a non-concerned voice. you were took aback a little by his comment, most genders to be shocked at how he looked? you were wondering if he was just annoyed at the common occurrence or just knew that he was an attractive man. “pushing that aside,” he sighed “sasha has told me a lot about you.” he says looking up at you.

“she did?” you question.

“mhm, she cares for you ms….” he looks at the paper look for your last name.

“y/l/n.”

“ah, thank you. sasha cares for you ms. y/l/n. she talks about your recovery, and wants you to best happy for her.” he says maintaining eye contact. you can’t respond to such kindness. all you can do is nod your head and smile.

“but as a therapist view-point, the death of a loved one is one of the hardest battle we have to overcome as a human being. no matter how emotionless a person may be, the death of anything else to them will always cause someone to break. that’s just how we are, we humans . . . after all.” he says empathically.

“my job isn’t to make you forget your mother, or forget the pain you feel about her. you always feel pain lingering about her, and that’s ok. i’m just here to help you reduce that pain.”

you were shocked. cheap prices, handsome therapist AND a good one at that? maybe it’s good to stay faithful after all.

—

it’s been about 3 weeks since you’ve had daily therapy sessions with mr. jaeger and he’s honestly been helping you a lot. you had different kinds of sessions, like walking around and even some pet therapy. today was for a usual one-on-one walk around the building beautiful outside landscape.

as you and dr. jaeger walk around, you wave to the other clients with their own therapists. “see how social you’ve gotten? when we first came here, you were begging to stay back inside due to all the people,” he jokes around. “now, you’re friendly with them. it’s good progress.” he smiles to himself.

“it was only because of you, dr. jaeger. i don’t think i’d be the way i am without your help.”

“ah. . . don’t flatter me too much. let’s sit right here yea?” he says pointing towards the swinging wood benches. “it’s beautiful outside, isn’t it ms. y/l/n?” he turns to look at you.

“yea, it really is.” you turn back to stare at him. god, you can stare into his eyes for hours. it’s something that about that were so addicting, that you couldn’t look away if you wanted to. to break the silence, you decided to follow up with a cheeky comment. “say dr. jaeger, you really know how to keep a client.” he moves his head to the side, confused. “i like to believe that my clients stay with my due to how i help them and not my looks.” ah fuck. it was not received well at all, and you just profusely apologized to him.

“but, if my looks did make people stay, that wouldn’t be all too bad huh,” he says giving a hearty laugh. “but tell me now, ms y/l/n. does my looks make you stay?” you were at a loss for words. one part of you wanted to say “fuck yes” while another part of you wanted to say “absolutely not”. and you of course went with the latter.

“whatever your answer is, it doesn’t bother me either way. . . but it looks like our time is up ms. y/l/n.” you look down at your phone for the time. it was up after he exclaimed. the two of you head back to his office to pick you up your stuff.

that night later, you were chilling in your bed, getting ready to dose off. you however, couldn’t sleep without thinking about a fantasy. it didn’t matter what type, other than it having to be something interesting. you close your eyes, your mind shifting to dr. jaeger, and the moments between you two that drove you insane. like that one time he wore a turtle neck, showing off his clothed six-pack abs. you imagined yourself touching them, feeling the rock-hardness of them. you open your eyes again, looking around the room. to be honest, you haven’t.. you know what, in a while and you thought it might be time to do it again.

you move your bedsheets closer to the edge to give you more space. and moved all your pillows away except for one. you pulled your phone out and started to record. it might seem weird to other people, but you like to record yourself, in the time that you couldn’t find anything good on twitter or reddit.

you start to rock your hips back n forth on the pillow, assuming it the body of a male. maybe it was dr. jaeger body you could’ve been assuming it off. either way, it turned you on, seeing how you started to move faster on your pillow. one of your hands grip the pillow, as the other hand massages your boob. you move faster, enjoying the friction your clit is getting between the pillow and your soaked panties. you close your eyes, imagining dr. jaeger guiding your body with his big, veiny hands. as you’re about to climax, you can’t help but subtly whimper his name.

once you’ve finished, you end the video. while you’re cleaning up, sasha enters the room. “hey girlie, i was thinking of getting some drinks tomorrow night? wanna come?” she says exciting. “i would but i have a session with dr. jaeger tomorrow.”

“boo, you’re boring.”

“whatever, i’m going to the shower, so let me know if anything happens ok?”

“yea yea boring y/n.”

you go to the bathroom and take off your clothes, hopping inside the shower. you turn on the water, letting the lukewarm water hit your skin. you are alone with your thoughts until sasha comes inside the bathroom.

“not to be nosey, but dr. jaeger texted you.” she says.

“mhm really? what did he say?”

“i didn’t look at it properly, but something about a daily wellness video?” you knew right away. dr. jaeger usual makes his clients make videos of themselves with positive affirmations, then with their consent, he’ll use it on his website for future clientele.

“ahh ok! just send him the most recent video.” you photo gallery takes forever to update, so there’s a chance it’ll take forever to show the video of your “naughty time”.

“ok, sending right now… and it’s sent. if he wants a further conversation, i’ll let you know.”

“thanks sash.”

as you walk out the steamy bathroom, and get ready for bed, you check your notifications for any new ones. you go into the chat between you and dr. jaeger, seeing if theres anything new. you took a look at the video of your affirmation, seeing the shirt you wore today as the thumbnail. you clicked on it, expecting your face to zoom out, as you were testing the camera quality always. to your shock, you camera didn’t zoom out. but instead was your body moving back and forth on something. your heart dropped. it couldn’t be. you’re praying it wasn’t. you skip some of the video to see if it was truly what you think it was, but the video suddenly changed to a more in-depth shot of you humping the pillow with your panties being in view.

your heart start to beat faster than usual. you click off the video to delete it right away. dr. jaeger didn’t respond to it, and it said it was ‘delivered.’ you wanted to tell yourself that he hasn’t seen it, and probably watches those videos early in the morning. you weren’t going to stress yourself out though, you were just gonna go to his office per usual, and get counseling per usual.

—

you take a deep breath and knock at his door, hoping it all ends well. you hear his “come in” but it sounds different from before. his voice went an octave lower. you walk into the room, seeing a more “messy” side of dr. jaeger. at-least he didn’t look at cleaned up as he usually does. his bun was a lot more frizzy from before and he had two buttons undone on his button up shirt.

maybe he had a rough morning. you think to yourself. “good morning ms. y/l/n. how was your night?” you stopped for a second. such a simple question was something so dangerous to you. “it was fine, dr. jaeger. how about yours?”

“oh. one of the best i’ve had in a while.”

“ah. mine was the worst i’ve had in a while.” you mumbled.

“really? i would’ve assumed you’ve had a very nice night ms. y/l/n.”

you stare at him confused. what could he mean by that? yea, you fixed your hair a little better than usual, and your eye bags have gone away overtime, but you truly did have a sleepless night yesterday. dr. jaeger gets up from his chair, to lean on his desk, standing in-front of you. he stared down at you with his usually lighter colored eyes now displayed a dark-green. and his pupils were more extended.

“i don’t know what gives you the impression that i’ve had a nice night dr. jaeger.”

he bends to to match the height of the chair, and put both of his hands on the rest, restricting me from mounting off of it easily. “let’s cut the crap, y/n. i saw what you sent me.” at this moment, it felt like 100 daggers were suddenly lodged into your chest.

“i wondered why you asked what you did yesterday. i thought to myself ‘maybe she thought i was attractive’, but i see it was more than that i see,” he says not breaking eye contact. “you see, as a human, we see something we like, and have many kinds of thoughts about it. and i see the thoughts you have towards me are stronger than what i expected.”

“i’m truly sorry dr. jaeg-“

“call me eren, seeing as that is what you called me in the video.”

“i’m sorry eren, truly. i don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable or hurt this relationship between us.” i say holding back my tears.

“hurt? uncomfortable? those words are out of the park right now,” he says standing up. “to be honest, tell me why you came today y/n.”

“to have a therapy session with you.” you meekly say.

“is my looks standing in the way of you healing with the death of your mother?” he says standing behind me.

“not at all, dr. jae- eren.”

“so then what provoked you to send me a five minute long video of you fucking yourself to a pillow in the imagination that it’s me?” you were at a loss for words. he was right. your heart sank as his word dug deeper into you. and you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. you started to quietly sob, feeling large hands down your shoulders. you feel a hot breath near your eyes chill down your spine. “don’t cry, not in this manner at least,” he says in your ear.

“cry because you can’t handle it, y/n.”

you stopped and turned to look at him. he had a devilish grin on his face. “handle what?” you say, not catching his gist.

“you’ll find out soon enough.”

eren lifts you up by the arm and spins you around to face him completely. you didn’t know what was going on, but you didn’t want to push away. your faces was a mere 4 inches away from each other. “can i? y/n. . . can i give you what you want?”

you look at his eyes then his lips then his eyes again. fuck it, you nod your head and eren kisses you passionately. he stops kissing you for a moment to push the chairs aside. you look at his desk to see his usually messy papers cleaned up to the side. he planned this probably . . . eren picks you up and places you on his desk.

he places a hand on your chin, rubbing it gently. “open it baby,” he says as his kisses you again, but placing his tongue all over the inside of your mouth. his hands tug on the bottom of your shirt, signaling for it to be removed. in between each kiss, you both take off a piece of clothing until you up to your undergarments. eren slips his large hand under your breast, fondling with it while he leaves wet hickeys on your neck. with the other hand he unclasps the bra, throwing it the ground. he kisses you again, muttering “nice tits”.

you pull at the band of his underwear, “want you in me ren’.” you whine. “patience baby.” eren says sliding your panties off to the floor.

“are you on any pills by any chance?”, he says rubbing ur slick all over your cunt. “m-mhm ren.’”

“good. so i don’t have to hold back.”

eren slips his underwear off, revealing his long, veiny and girthy dick. you want to guess it’s around 6-7 inches, but it was gonna tear you up regardless. he strokes his dick, ‘lubing’ it up with his pre-cum. he inches closer to you, having his dick and your hole just one insert away from each other. you open your legs wider and lay down on his desk, giving him more access to yourself. “didn’t even have to ask.” eren said.

he teases the tip of his dick on your clit. your whole body tingles in response, arching your back off the cold desk. “please ren’…” you beg, desperately wanting his dick buried into you. “please fuck me eren.”

“as you wish.” with that, eren aligns himself with your entrance, slowly pushing himself in. the both of you moan simultaneously from the pleasure you both felt. eren starts to push his hips back and forth into you, keeping a firm grip on your waist. eren keeps a nice pace, making sure to satisfy both sides. suddenly, eren lifts your legs, wrapping them around his waist. you jolted from the tingle he gave you. you were trying to conceal your moans, but every time it was getting louder than usual, eren made sure put his hand over your mouth.

eren’s pace starts to unstable, moving fast at times and then slowing down to grind himself on you. you can tell he was close to his climax, seeing how desperate and shaky thrusts were.

“‘m so close baby. . .” he grunts.

“‘ren please! mhm.” you whine, begging him to release.

“at the same time? what a good girl..” he barely breathes out.

eren picks you up by the waist to pull you closer to him. there wasn’t enough space between you too, but he didn’t care. eren grinds his dick into you, feeling his dick throb in your walls. then, you feel a warm liquid pour inside of you, while at the same time cry out from your orgasm.

#anime smut #aot smut #eren smut #aot x poc!reader #aot x reader #aot x black reader #eren x black fem!reader

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duckyfruitbat · 5 months

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YoHoHo, It's a New Era of Pirating

I'm sure a lot of us have been ruminating on this lately, but first I want to draw some parallels.

Picture it, the year is 2005 and you are watching a movie you picked out with your grandma at blockbuster during your weekend visit to give your parents a god damned break from your bullshit. Relatable so far yes? You pop that disk in and sit down as grandma makes the popcorn and an odd little PSA comes up between the previews. It's the infamous pirating PSA that compares downloading films to car jacking. So what do you do? You download copious amounts of pirated music onto the computer under your fathers supervision of course, still pretty relatable right?

You have entered the world of media piracy my friend, an old tradition with a rich culture and history. The early 2000's were some wild times, piracy was at its peak, the internet was a lawless land, and the 2008 housing bubble was just around the corner, truly a glorious time.

Now needless to say, publishing companies hated piracy and were desperately trying to curb it but only through legislation through a government that didn't really care. It was already hard enough to catch one pirate so why waste resources to crack down on it. There was an attempted crackdown by the publishers but that completely failed, one infamous case was a grandma who didn't even have a computer.

This age of piracy was only stopped when Itunes and Netflix made their way online. That was only because everything was on these two websites and later also Hulu. The only people who continued to pirate were kids who didn't have money and anime fans. There were two specialized websites just for them.

Everything was going smoothly, until we get to today, now every studio has at least one streaming service and even then there is no guarantee that their own shows would even be up and they're all owned by the same five corporations. Discovery got in trouble not too long ago for deleting their own shows from their own streaming service. Disney still has a backlog to upload onto Disney+, and there are many exclusives between each site. It's very similar to what cable and satellite television was, gotta pay over a hundred dollars and you don't even watch half the channels. These streaming services are getting too specialized, sure it makes business sense especially when you already have a large library or you're just Disney, but when there are obscure TV channels trying to get their own service, you know something's wrong.

Somehow the music industry didn't go the same path, yes Spotify has its problems, especially for musicians, but it is far better than purchasing entire albums or the old piracy methods that always put your computer at risk.

The obvious consequence of all this is that piracy is once again going up once again. Why? Because it is far easier to pirate than it is to figure out which steaming service that Disney owned show you want to watch is on. The only reason Itunes and Netflix originally won was because it was more convenient to actually pay for the things you wanted to see and not have to worry about malware. That's a lesson that these corporations could benefit from again, but they are if anything stubborn.

Now because of the stubbornness of these corporations I will have a lot to talk about, specifically with all sorts of pirating methods, and some fun stories. I already talked about Tengen and their massive swinging balls of steel as they walked into the patent office to steal from Nintendo, but there is so much more. So plenty of legally dubious fun to be had!

#duckyfruitbat #rambling #piracy #streaming services #disney

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br1ghtestlight · 5 months

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they're wearing their raincoats so for me this is already a 10/10 episode. love when they wear their raincoats!!

not big bob and tina going on the toddler rides at amusement parks together. LESS THRILL MORE CHILL. truly two autistic peas in a pod <3

big bob is seventy five (at least according to louise) this is important lore. also this means bob's dad is the same age as his gayass old man landlord who flirts with him every other day FJDMDJDKSMS according to my caculations big bob would've been 29ish when he had bob which means he met lily when they were in their early twenties. that also means (assuming that lily was the same age as big bob) lily would have been around 43 when she died although the math doesn't add up 100% if you consider her being born in 1941 because it would mean this episode takes place in 2016 which it doesn't. am i overthinking this one-off line where louise guestimates big bob's age??? yes i am thank you VERY MUCH.

LMAOO NOT THE BIG BOB REPUBLICAN DOOMER ARC OH NOOO

big bob making conversation while spending the day with his very young grandchildren: so have you considered that the world is terrible and people are awful and we should all kill ourselves? thoughts?

(im sure that isn't what bob meant its just funny to imagine big bob depression posting circa 2013 tumblr @ his grandkids all day)

ALSO this implies bob has been talking to big bob more regularly lately which is great. they're working on their relationship. a little bit :)

BIG BOB FOR REAL BEING A QANON TRUTHER EXCUSE ME???? THE FUCK. ohh he's literally a doomer he's watching videos about the upcoming apocolypse and how to ration food. HE'S A CLIMATE CHANGR DOOMER ITS SO OVERR im sorry thats so funny im obsessed w/ him

also our first time ever seeing (what im assuming is) bob's childhood home!! very cute. and he made them cookies

BIG BOB COMING TO VISIT BOB AT HIS RESTAURANT???? HUGE WIN???

why is big bob calling bob randomly to talk about how the world is ending and tigers are going extinct what is GOING on. at least he believes in climate change??

"like he's getting ready to..... leave the party. so he doesn't feel bad about telling everyone how much the party stinks" DONT TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT if there's an episode where big bob dies its over for me. like its done <- there won't be but i would be very very sad IF THERE WAS. to be fair we gotta kill off linda's parents too though

aww they're texting regularly <3 i like how you can ALREADY see how much bob and big bob's relationship has improved since the start of the show where bob Literally thought his dad hated him and that he was a disappointment. see what actual open communication can do for you!! im happy bob has at least one parent he can talk to kinda sorta? HE SHARES HELPFUL TIPS SO THAT BOB CAN SAVE HIS FAMILIES LIFE HES TRYING TO HELPP :(

"and today its just gonna be him. and them. and the giant cloud of darkness that follows him wherever he goes" funnily enough thats also what people say when talking about me :3

GRANDPA HUG!!!!!!!

"pop pop how much cotton candy is TOO MUCH cotton candy" "i dont know. three??"

LMAO FOR SOME REASON THAT REMINDS ME OF THIS FUCKIGN QUOTE. big bob when gene comes out to him as genderfluid like

wharf day with pop-pop!!! wharf day with pop-pop!!!!!

grandpa needs a little bench time. im ALWAYS saying this tbh

"don't get any tattoos that your parents can see" FUN GRANDPA he's definitely a better grandpa than he is a dad bcuz he was not doing this shit w/ bob when he was young i can tell you that much

OMG I LOVE TEDDYS RAINJACKET?? sorry i live in a rainforest its my god given right to comment on people's rainy day fashion. its like my one job

"i need to ask you guys A HUGE favor. can you try to take a good picture of me" teddy u are literally always hot this shouldn't be a problem. you're DRIPPING sex appeal. except this is for a handyman website so maybe less sexy?ANY PICTURE I TRY TO TAKE OF MYSELF I LOOK LIKE A MURDERER FJFMDNFJDKDNDJXHXH

louise shows up whenever she goes and figured out the best way to Cause Problems and i respect that about her. that takes real talent and dedication

one thing about the belcher kids they WILL end up locked inside a fortune telling clam in wonder wharf

he's sooo baby

everything is so okay bob dont even WORRY. big bob is asleep on a bench and the kids are stuck inside a giant clam they've done more dangerous stuff like twice this week already. at least they're inside??

"its fun when your dad shows up to. check on your grandpa"

ITS SO EASY FOR YOU BOB WITH YOUR CHARMING LOVEABLE FACE

do you not trust me with the kids :( noo big bob they literally (kinda) trusted GAYLE with the kids for AN ENTIRE WEEKEND u cant be worse than her at taking care of them. she was making them do some shit that Kids should not be doing. anyone remember the pretty paws

??? why was he just randomly like oohh we should win that gorilla for the kids. he loves them SO MUCH im gonna cry <3 he literally loves them and wants them to be happy. he SPOILS them. he's such a good grandpa and such a terrible dad lmfao

"are we being punished? for being helpful and delightful??"

if i was walking around an amusement park and i heard a robotic fortune telling clam SCREAMING for somebody to help it escape i would get the fuck outta there so fast sorry kids. you might be on your own w/ this one

i dont know why bob is acting like he doesn't lose the kids four times a week MINIMUM those mfs will run off anywhere if given half the chance. they live for the thrill

"we lose 'em and then we find them. that's our thing" ?? what did he mean by this

WHY ARE THEY LOOKING FOR "CUTE" TOOLS this subplot is so funny im kinda obsessed. mechanics for the girlies

HOW DO YOU MAKE A TAPE MEASURER LOOK SCARY........

teddy is scaring the hoes nooo. its okay teddy i would hire you maybe(??) well. yknow

IM A GENTLE PERSON :( teddy i will always be your biggest fan wtf he's literally so sweet. he wouldnt hurt a fly

silly <33

LMAO not louise just lying there and saying help us. help us. help us into the microphone she's so cute and SOOO over this whole situation

TEDDY IS HAPPIEST WHEN HE'S EATING BOB'S BURGERS THATS SO SWEET WTF

he's a good grandpa :(

SOMETIMES YOUR GRANDPA CAN BE A LITTLE DARK ABOUT LIFE AND NEGATIVE. YOU MEAN LIKE YOU LMAOO

if you keep saying stuff like that around your grandkids they're gonna believe you.... and then it might actually come true. so maybe don't say horrible stuff about the future to people who will have to live in that future </3

IM NOT ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE AND THATS **BECAUSE** OF MY GRANDKIDS what if i cry right now. he literally loves them so much he's such a good grandpa!!! wtf Anyone else thinking about amelia right now. the ending

AAWWW THIS EPISODE WAS SO CUTE IM OBSESSED WITH BIG BOB he was such a terrible father but he's the best grandpa and he loves these kids SO MUCH. genuinely. and im so happy that his relationship w/ bob is getting better and that they're on better terms. also the subplot with teddy was adorable i always love teddy and linda subplots. they're BESTIES. maaaybe my favorite episode from this season so far but honestly they've all been so great that there's like five different episodes competing for that spot. and we're still only eight episodes in!!! absolutely everything i wanted from an episode with big bob (even if lily wasn't mentioned. SAD!! oh well there are other episodes) and i loved learning more abt his relationship with his grandkids and that dynamic ^_^ <33

#txt #bob's burgers #episode review

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zalrb · 1 year

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OTH 3X05 Rewatch Review

OTH won.

1. I keep forgetting OTH is on Prime

2. IIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYY

3. One Tree Hill wants Tree Hill to be a basketball town so badly and doesn’t put in any of the effort.

4. I like how stiff these cheerleaders actually are.

5. “You’re breaking her heart you know that?” I’m sorry, he nearly died and she DIDN’T COME HOME.

6. Lucas, SHUT UP. You were the one who cheated on your girlfriend with her best friend and then dated that girlfriend’s neighbour broke up with said neighbour and went next to that girlfriend’s house RIGHT AFTER BREAKING UP WITH HER NEIGHBOUR

7. Right, I forgot they thought he kissed Haley. I mean, still though.

8. The fight between Nathan and Lucas escalates to an unbelievable point, it would not cause a brawl between the team, that’s dumb.

9. Peyton, if you hate being a cheerleader, stop being a fucking cheerleader, jesus christ.

10. OH MY GOD, A WOMAN WITH ARMPIT HAIR? BURN HER AT THE STAKE.

11. Every time I see Rachel, I think about how me and my friend shipped Jensen with Sophia, I don’t even know HOW that came about but we were like Chad is disgusting and Sophia and Jensen should totally date and get married and Chad can choke and die then we found out Jensen was with Danneel and we were like ....................

12. Chris’ album name is “Keller Instinct”? Ugh.

13. I like how Chris is supposed to be a hot shot musician but also has nothing better to do than hang around Haley and Chris, that’s weird dude.

14. It’s funny I rewatch Veep a lot and this character Jonah who is terrible is about to be offered like hundreds of million of dollars for his website and Selina the protagonist is like:

and every time one of the characters is like “Dan’s running for mayor?? It’s like...” I think of this scene.

15. This shit is SO unsanitary.

16. Dan, you’re running your own campaign.

17. I am posting this without comment and tagging @initiumseries

18. I totally forgot about Gigi.

19. The casting as Ellie as Peyton’s birth mom was a good choice though.

20. Oh God, is Peyton going to see Ellie’s picture of her and be like YoU LiEd To mE!!!! It is this scene right.

21.

22. (it is).

23.

24. At least she isn’t crying this time.

25.

OH MY GOD, PEYTON, GET A FUCKING GRIP

26. I am so done with these scenes, can we move on.

27. Ha.

28. What is this dialogue? What does it even mean?

29. I like how she puts this on Nathan like she didn’t kiss him and insist on working with him and didn’t ask Nathan to come with her on tour

Once again I am reminded of how I like Naley together but build up Naley not so much.

30. “If you work with Chris and end up having feelings for him again, then I guess I have my answer.” “That’s ridiculous, Nathan, that’s not fair!” I mean, how though? You didn’t even say you didn’t have feelings for him, Haley. THIS IS HIS POINT.

31. I like how when Dan actually is mayor it’s not really a catastrophe, unless I’m misremembering.

32. At least Peyton tackles Rachel when she punches Brooke.

33. Like these fights don’t make sense because it’d be an entire team and an entire squad trying to pull apart TWO people of their OWN team/squad.

34. You were slut shaming Brooke like 2 seconds ago, Rachel

35. At least he looks uncomfortable here, with Brooke he looks bewildered and then into it by the very end.

36. This always bothered me because it DOESN’T. MAKE. SENSE. Is it last year or two years ago?

37.

38. I always found it HILARIOUS that Brooke slaps Rachel and Lucas just watches like damn, Brooke. Doesn’t even go to see if Rachel’s OK.

39. “You know that thing about judging a book by its cover? Well it’s true. Sometimes you gotta read the whole thing” this is the clumsiest shit ever, STOP TALKING.

40. Nathan, why are you lurking by a tree?

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xamassed · 2 years

Text

⟬ @bucketfullofocs ⟭

[Sarah @ Mammon] She knew he was in charge of detention today. Why they let him be in charge of it when they all knew his reputation she didn't know, but she was glad for it either way. Because this meant that when she opened the door to the classroom where detention was being held, she walked in with a stupid smile on her face and completely ignoring the fact that others were already filing in as well.

Even back in her Academy days she hadn't been a good student, so really this wasn't even too out of the ordinary for her. It wasn't like she did anything honestly bad, just annoyed the heck out of her least favorite teacher (one who liked to make snide comments about her magic when he thought she couldn't hear), but it had been more than enough for him.

"Hey stranger! Guess who totally actually got detention?" It was her. She got detention. If it wasn't for the fact that others were also in the classroom, it would totally be like a bad porn plot. Abby would be proud!

He had placed himself behind the desk fifteen minutes early, which might seem strange to most that know him because Mammon rarely accepted responsibilities like this. His time was little and precious, and he hardly wanted to spend it watching over his fellow misfits — except that there was an opportunity here. The people shuffling in through the door likely hated the idea of being here as much as he did, and people craving escape were often desperate enough to accept a way out once it was presented.

Money would be their escape, whether or not they had it in their pockets. It wouldn’t result in much, but it would line his wallet for a short while given there were a small handful of idiots at his disposal.

“Quit takin’ you’re sweet time and sit down! I got plans, and I want outta here as much as——!” Another voice cut through, the sweet and mischievous sound of it rendering the usually loud and obnoxious demon utterly silent. His feet fell from the desk, where his ankles had once been crossed along the edge. The front legs of his chair hit the floor almost at the same time as his jaw did.

Sarah wasn’t a goodie-two-shoes like the other exchange student living in the House of Lamentation, but he didn’t expect that he would find her waltzing through the door like it was an accomplishment. Almost instantaneously, he was struck with pride. Hell yeah, his girl was a troublemaker! Mammon wanted to believe that this was for him. He had never heard of her getting detention beforehand, so his assumption had to be the right one. She was here because he was in charge, and that alone made him warm and flushed.

This absolutely, positively felt like the plot of a poorly thought out video on a website he refused to admit he may have visited once or twice.

“Alright, raise’a hands, who wants out?”

Every single hand went up, except for one. Perfect.

“A thousand grimm gets ya out, and another thousand keeps it a secret. Line up. If ya ain’t got it on ya now, we’ll make a deal.” It didn’t take long for them to approach the desk, the top neatly stacked with bills and coins and little slips of magical paper with written oaths inked onto them. Fifteen minutes passed before the room was cleared, leaving Mammon and Sarah alone.

A subtle flick of his finger, and the lock on the door clicked into place. He didn’t often abuse his magic for small reasons, but he could hardly pass up the chance now.

“C’mere.” He motioned her closer and pushed back in his seat, leaving his lap open for her if she felt compelled to join him. “Tell me what’cha did, baby. I gotta know.”

#bucketfullofocs #bucketfullofocs ; sarah #「 ( mammon ; ic ) 」#「 v. ready to face THE mammon? ( mammon ; obey me ) 」#「 r. in every world i’m yours ( mammon ; sarah ) 」#( these two are the worst and i love them )#( lucifer's gonna get a headache )

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silversatoru · 3 years

Note

Yandere Megumi is so mean </3 it's confusing because he was such a romantic at first! always there, always checking in, always present. but really he was just planning -- finding every checkpoint of your life and formulating how to break them down bit by bit. it's a shame you start to feel suffocated, it's a shame you call him a control freak, it's a shame you kick him out of your house and slam the door. he didn't want to pull out every ace he had but you didn't give him a choice. now he's gotta make you crawl back to him because by the end of his crusade, he'll be the only thing you'll have left <3

yandere!megumi x f!reader

t/w: nsfw 18+, dark content, yandere, noncon/dubcon, manipulation, abuse, mind break, dollification, electro, caging, dacryphilia

a/n: thank u kat i LOVE u for this one

yandere!megumi who lays his eyes on you for the first time when you come innocently walking into his favorite sandwich shop. it was obsession at first sight, the way his brain hay-wired when he watched you order a sandwich with turkey, roasted peppers, and brie. he’d remember that.

yandere!megumi who charmingly strikes up a conversation with you as the two of you coincidentally walk out of the shop at the same time. he scores your number, you’re intrigued by his messy hair and empty eyes — both parties are content with their morning trip to the sub shop.

yandere!megumi who takes you on the most endearing first date — how’d he know how much you love carnivals? it must be meant to be. and oh how he hates the carnival, the messy people and the cheap greasy food, he despises it, but he does it for you.

yandere!megumi who wins you a large stuffed panda bear at one of the game stalls — have you mentioned to him that those are your favorite animal? you must have, and he’s so sweet for remembering.

yandere!megumi who continues to take you out on the best dates, always catering to your interests and remembering every detail you tell him about everything. he’s sweet, he’s attentive, and he gives you all the attention you could ever dream of — it’s no wonder that you start to spend all your time with him.

yandere!megumi who gets irritated when your friends start to steal you away from him. you’ve been so busy lately, y/n! let’s go out to lunch and catch up! they always send you the most annoying texts. and you actually wanna go? why can’t you just be content with him?

yandere!megumi who starts to get visibly angry when you spend time with other people. who gets jealous when you want to put time into your job and your school work. what do you need a master’s degree for when you have him? he’ll take care of you. you don’t need anything else.

yandere!megumi who starts to take your phone and tell people you’re busy — responding to texts from your friends while you’re in the bathroom or taking a nap. he’s discreet, deleting the messages after he’s done, but eventually you piece it together.

yandere!megumi who’s world flips upside down when you tell him you need some “space”. when you call him a “creep” and a “control freak”. when you kick him out of your house and tell him to never come back. if only that were the end of it, if only it were that easy.

yandere!megumi who wasn’t paying attention to every detail of your life for no reason. who knows the name of your boss, the college you attend, the contact information of your friends. who payed attention to your stories from work, the mistakes you’ve made and covered up — to the website you used to buy answers for your exams — to the complaints you made about each of your friends.

yandere!megumi who has meticulously planned out every single thread of his plan, who will rip you apart from the inside out until you’re crawling to his door. who sends your boss anonymous emails about the time you hooked up with one of your clients — which was terribly unprofessional in his opinion. who forwards your stolen exam answers to your college and expresses his concern about your “lack of academic integrity”. who tells your friends the things you’ve said about them — who doesn’t hesitate to threaten their own lives when they act stubbornly.

yandere!megumi who’s not surprised when you show up at his door crying, black streaks painting your tired face. who asks “what’s wrong?” and says “poor girl, sounds like you’ve been through a lot”. who has you right back in his hands in a matter of days — it was really too easy.

yandere!megumi who offers you his help — he’s so generous and it’s more than you deserve. after all you’re just a good for nothing whore who slept with her professional client, who was cheating her way through exams, and who occasionally talked shit about her friends behind their backs. you were a failure, fired from work, being threatened with expulsion, and none of your friends wanted anything to do with you. he was so kind for offering you his help.

yandere!megumi who doesn’t tolerate disobedience, and who won’t forget the first time you pushed him away. who will ensure that you never get away again.

yandere!megumi who resorts to cages and chains when you start to put the pieces together — when your eyes widen and you call him “crazy”. who keeps you locked up in his house in the most figurative and literal sense at all times now.

yandere!megumi who slowly gets more and more twisted, locking a shock collar around your neck and delivering sharp volts of electricity to your skin every time you misbehave. every time you speak back. every time you try to escape.

yandere!megumi who has needs, who forces you on your knees and shoves his cock down your scratchy throat. you give him what he wants, you hardly ever fight back anymore. you’re such a good girl.

yandere!megumi who will break you down until there’s nothing left. until you’re so braindead from the electricity, the dehydration, and the extreme exhaustion of sleeping in a cage or shackled to a wall.

yandere!megumi who has you whining and crying into his neck, the walls of your cunt pulsating around his cock at least once a day. he loves the way you cry for him, brainless tears spilling down your cheeks while he stuffs you full with his length.

yandere!megumi who bandages up your scrapes and bruises right after he’s done giving them to you. who dresses you in nothing but his own big t-shirts and a pair of pretty panties. who doesn’t care when you cry and shiver all night because he won’t turn the heat on either.

yandere!megumi who has shriveled your soul and destroyed every inkling of who you once were. who’s turned you into a mindless pet, a toy, a collectible. who’s so proud to see how perfect you turned out, that all his effort was very well worth it.

yandere!megumi who littered your life with red flags when the two of you first met, but they all looked a pretty shade of pink through your rose-colored glasses. if only you’d been a bit more perceptive, payed a little more attention, not been so honest with him. maybe then you wouldn’t be curled into a tight ball on a steel-floored crate shivering and crying and waiting for megumi to get home and fill you up with his warmth.

yandere!megumi who is the only thing you have to look forward to anymore, and that’s exactly how he likes it.

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stormblessed95 · 2 years

Note

Hello Stormblessed !

U became an ARMY pretty recently right ? But you seem to have covered Tonnes of content 😂😁😆

I became an ARMY pretty recently too but i have no idea how to cover so much content 🥲😅😔

Any idea how to proceed ? Like i have watched the RUN BTS episodes, ITS, Bon Voyage and a few many interviews, their performances, MVs but there r lots more right ? 👀 where shud i start ?

Okie....if i were someone who wants to get to know BTS what shud i do ? 😁😅

Am i blabbering too much ? 🥲

Is there any website that can guide me or maybe u have already answered an ask like this ?

I love your blog btw 🥰☺💜

Also u r nice almost all the time ☺

Btw which are u biased towards in A Court of Thorns And Roses ? 👀

Feysand or Nessian ? 👀

Ahh lol I've been ARMY for 2 years now. I found BTS January of 2020. So yes, pretty new here too relatively!!

I've shared before about my "time management" or lack of it in a previous post, here

I've just pretty obsessively watched everything I could find. I'm still catching up on stuff though like FULL length content, not just clips. Like I'm about to watch the NOW 3 DVD in full for the first time soon. Not just clips from YouTube or Twitter. A really good resource is just other ARMY accounts who have made efforts to compile content for everyone. Two that I go back to often are Bangtan Purple Archive and Landon Marks BTS Roadmap. Both are pulling content from debut to present day in order for everyone to access

Here is another account that lists shows BTS has done along with creating other threads of other types of content BTS has done to help people at least know what to search for to see older content, one such thread here:

Another good account to find old Bangtan Content for links

And Qdeoks is a wonderful account that has streamed lots of DVD content and put it up online for free for people to still get to see it

As for ACOTAR. Lol don't hate me, I love both Cassian and Nesta MORE as characters.... but the better ship is definitely Feysand 😂 ACOSF did not give me what I hoped for with their characters and relationships, there wasn't enough growth for them as people, much less a couple for me. ACOMAF remains the queen of that series for me personally. Lol all ill say to avoid spoilers though!

And because it's me, I gotta include the art...

Feyre and Rhysand

Nesta and Cassian (I will always be mad at how good this relationship arc could have been, but I still love it)

The Inner Circle 🥰

Can't lie though, Throne of Glass is definitely my preferred series by SJM 🥰 but she doesn't make my list of top authors either even though I loved her TOG characters ALOT!!

Lmao okay well nice mix of bts and books for yall I guess this time! Sorry! 😅

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kkusuka · 3 years

Note

hiii I was wondering if you could do a threesome w kuroo bokuto and y/n?? plsss💞

i can actually, that’s the fun part.

(I'm going to try to use gender-neutral pronouns, but the reader has female anatomy, I hope that’s ok!)

I deadass just took this and ran with it oml.

All 18+, public sex, circumstantial humiliation, slight voyeurism, orgasm denial, threesome M/F/M, they’re both kind mean but not really, slight degrading

Synopsis: Your college chem class is kicking your ass so when your professor recommends you to Kuroo, who seems to come in a package deal with another owl-ish boy, you were more than thankful.

4/25

You couldn't believe it, you were so sure you had done well on this test. You made flashcards and even scoured the web for as many quizlets on the subject as you possibly could. But one thing remained the same: Masahiro sensei’s chemistry class was kicking your ass.

No matter how many times you looked at the reference tables and started at the elements you didn't understand a single word that came out of that man's mouth. What’s worse is that you seemed to be the only one who ever had trouble in his class, and he always made sure to let you know.

Side glances during lectures, calling you out when he knows you have no clue what the answer could be, talking about how 'some people’ would do better if they tried harder. You just didn't know what else to do.

So, in some twisted way, you were thankful when he requested to keep you a few minutes after class requesting to talk about some personal issues. Issues you wished would include a new grade and easier tests.

But him telling you about a boy with exceptional grades who would be a perfect fit to help you out, was something you had expected, but did not want. You felt more embarrassed than you already were, couldn't he just give you a website where you could watch videos about ionic and binary compounds?

Looking back to the phone number he had written for you on an index card, you relent. Sending a quick message to the number you shut your phone off and tried to get to your dorm, dropping onto your bed faster than you’d like to admit.

Hey, this is y/n l/n, Masahiro-sensei gave me your number for possible tutoring, if you're up for it of course. Any time for me works. 12:56 pm

Yeah, he let me know about a possible tutoring session, how about the library tomorrow at 4? 1:03 pm

I'm Kuroo Tetsurou btw. 1:07 pm

And like that your day got 10x worse, you don't even know who this way. You at least hoped it was the boy with the fluffy hair in the first row. At least Masahio told him, you assume it may have gone worse, tomorrow at the library at 4.

You could deal with that.

Your first meeting had gone fairly well. You arrived that the library entrance five minutes early reaching for your phone to let the mysterious Kuroo Tetsurou know that you had arrived, but before you could get that far-

“No need babe, I'm right here, L/n right?”

He was tall, taller than you at least. Tall enough to be able to lock down at you. Looking at you with his narrow hazel eyes and his sleazy yet comforting cat-like smile. His hands were shoved into the pockets of a bright red- volleyball jacket? Nekoma volleyball club must be from high school.

He led you to an isolated corner of the science section on the third floor, a place you had frequented during your mid-semester crying chemistry sessions-- hopefully your tears have dried up by now and you won't make a fool of yourself.

He wasted no time asking exactly what you need help with and seemed more than surprised when you told him everything. He let out a laugh that made you want to get up and run away before letting you know that it was normal to be confused and that you would just start with the electron configurations.

It was going great, he was an amazing teacher and knew exactly what to tell you to make you remember all the rules of the SPDF configurations and everything leading up to the oxidation states of the transition metals. It was just sad that he had to go over everything a second time just for you to get it in your mind.

In the middle of explaining lead’s second oxidation state, Kuroos phone lit up with a notification a Bokuto was calling. Without a second glance, he declined the call and went right to the first state of silver.

Three seconds in this same Bokuto called back after a few choice texts, letting out a sigh he apologized muting about a stupid owl not giving him a moment of rest no matter the time of day.

He picked up and tried to walk away as quick as he could, the only thing you could gain from the conversion was a

HEY HEY! you still at the library? Though you’d be done by now Kuroo!

To which Kuroo told whoever was on the end of the line, that he didn't mind and they should mind their own business. Then you were out of earshot. when he came back he looked as if the life was sucked from his soul.

He plopped into the chair across from you and sat for a second before releasing a deep breath. He looked back at you connecting eyes--they looked impossibly cat-like under the lights of the library-- before shooting you a shifty smirk.

“Babe you're doing great but I've gotta cut it off for today, and you don't mind if a friend joins us for the next few sessions? He isn't that bright.”

It took you of all five seconds to think of your answer, another person who wasn't the brightest will make you look less stupid. Just the thought made you feel bad, you're sure that Bokuto was a wonderful person, hopefully, and did not deserve to be used to make you seem less hopeless. Yet still,

“Yes! That’s totally fine, I'll see you in two days?”

“Sounds great”

“‘C'mon babe what's the dashed configuration of bromine?”

You didn't know, or maybe you did. It's not like that would matter considering the two fingers curling into your sweet spot. You could only focus on the way he rubbed your throbbing nub that sent sparks straight beach into your core.

“I-i I don’t- god, please, please, need to cum.” you were so close, Kuroo had already ripped two orgasms from you because you didn't know the answer, and you were going to scream if he did it again. “Please, wanna cum”

“No can do baby Owl, that’s the deal no cumming until you get the question.”

Bokuto.

You would have forgotten he was there if it weren't for his piercing gaze on Kuroo’s fingers drenched in your slick. Not once has it wavered from you, your silt to you tits up to your lips.

You had to try, he’ll stop. Somewhere in the back of your mind you know the answer, they know you know the answer. Somewhere else in your mind you think about how you got caught up in this in the first place.

How Kuroo was frustrated and told you the if you got another wrong answer he would fuck the right one into you. Or bokuto purposely mocking him that sent him further until his hands were pulling your panties down your legs stuffing two fingers in your cunt, saying how he won't stop until you get all the answers right.

“Two- e-eight- eight-teen- please please, si--six- NO seven, it’s seven. ‘M so close please”

Kuroo seemed pleased with your answer, his hands moving quickly around your bud and curling further into your g-spot as Bokuto makes his way around the table to where the two of you are seated.

Pulling the shirt above your head, Bokuto circles a nipple through the fabric of your bra commenting on how quickly it had pebbled, attaching his mouth to your other as Kuroo commanded you to cum around his relentless digits.

Clenching around his fingers you hadn't noticed a head of white and black hair moving towards your center. Coming off the high of your orgasm you felt Bokuto’s tongue spread your lips as his nose circled your clit.

“Oh, dude! You gotta taste ‘em! Like liquid gold, Man!”

You flushed further, if possible, tethering a hand into Bokuto's hair. Understanding the compliment Kuroo swiped a finger along your slick-covered thighs and let a mockingly loud moan fall between his lips.

As if you could be more embarrassed by the noises of Bokuto slurping whatever he could catch in his mouth, Kuroo’s coos of how red you look and how delicious you look, as the man under you eats as if it was his last meal.

Two hands grabbed your waist and lifted you off Bokuto, placing you back on your feet. Turing you toward the wall of windows and hand on your back bent you over the table surrounded by all of your notes.

“Look at that, she’s just gushing all over the place. All this over a chemistry lesson? Who knew I was teaching such a cockwhore this whole time.” a hand met your clit as Kuroo began to push into you, forcing you further into the table.

You heard a gasping moan as he bottomed out, glancing over to where Bokuto sat hand around the base of his cock, standing as Kuroo waved him over to you.

“I think you can fit two, right?” and just like that bokuto was forcing his way into your clenching walls. There was discomfort until a soft pop to which both the boys let out a sigh.

You feel so full. You didn't know who but one of them was brushing against your cervix. The first thrust came to you as a surprise, following with a second's rest before the two of them created a steady rhythm.

The faster they went the more apparent it was, they were using you like a fleshlight. You couldn't even speak as a cock hit right at your g-spot. Back arching you let out a series of small “ahs” much to Kuroo’s enjoyment.

“You fucking like this! Getting dicked where everyone can see. By two cocks no less!” he laughed pulling your head up from its place in your arms, making you have to look at your reflection in the glass.

“No-no I-” a smack to your ass stopped you from trying to defend what little dignity you had left. There was no defending as Bokuto leaned towards your ear, never breaking rhythm.

“No?,” he was practically snarling, “Then why the hell are you clenching our dicks so well, Baby Owl?”

As if he flipped a switch your world went dark as you clenched further on the two men as you came. Riding out your orgasm neither of them let up the pace as they jackhammered into your poor pussy.

Bokuto came first, with a loud groan of your name before he slumped into the chair he previously inhabited. Settling to watch as Kuroo pulled your chest up to meet your back to his chest. Rutting into you as his orgasm rapidly approaches.

If you weren't so sure this place was desolate you would be worried about someone hearing the slaps of your skin, or Kuroo’s final grunt as he filled you with his load, dropping you to lean on the table.

At least your next chemistry test was graded with a 21/25, you’re sure the two of them will love to hear about that.

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto smut #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #hq #hq smut #hq x reader #my brain went brrrrrrr #this is kinda all over the place #kinda bad but whatever

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parkers-gal · 3 years

Text

breaking the internet T.H.

summary : tom and reader are expecting a baby, and finally make it public. a few problems occur.. and the fans break the internet (requested)

wc: 1100

–

You were in the middle of your second trimester. You and Tom had kept it on the low, only close friends and family knowing about the baby Holland that was on the way. But now, your bump was showing greatly, and it was only a matter of time before paparazzi would find out and post pictures everywhere.

So, you both took the secrecy to your advantage, deciding you would announce when you felt it was the right time.

"Love, do you need anything?" Tom asked from his spot beside you.

The two of you were cuddling in bed, watching movies for the day. Tom was going downstairs for some snacks and water, knowing to ask for any new cravings that might pop out of the blue.

"Pickles, please? Peanut butter, too?" You asked with a shy but cheeky smile.

"Of course, angel," Tom said. He kissed your forehead, then your growing stomach, before getting up and making his way downstairs.

Tom had memorized which foods to avoid, knowing your cravings change more frequently then ever before and knowing which foods made you sick to your stomach. He had grabbed snacks he was sure you wouldn't be sick from, though he was fairly certain this hormonal food stage would be ending soon.

When he got back, you were on your phone. He set the tray down on the nightstand before getting in next to you, his hands resting on your stomach and moving you slightly so you could sit comfortably together.

"Whatcha lookin' at, hun?" he asked.

"Harry just sent me the pictures from our pregnancy photo-shoot we did last week," you smiled, giggling lightly.

"Oh, let me see them?" He asked.

You moved your phone so both of you had a clear view of the screen. You had scrolled through all the pictures, Tom commenting on which were his favorites and what parts he liked most.

"I was thinking," you said. "We could use these to... tell your fans?"

Tom turned to look at you, softly replying. "Really?"

You nodded with a smile. "It'd be better if they find out this way than... y'know?"

"Yeah- yeah. When do you wanna do it?"

"Right now?" You said with another cheeky smile.

Tom nodded his head, grabbing his phone off of the nightstand and asking you to send him some pictures.

"Are we posting different ones?" he asked.

"Yeah," you said. "Here, lemme do it, so you don't mess anything up," you giggled, ruffling his hair playfully.

"Yeah, yeah," Tom laughed, blushing lightly.

When you returned the phone to him, the post was ready and waiting to be posted, as was yours.

"Ready?" he asked, wrapped an arm around you.

"Ready," you confirmed.

Both of you said 'go!' simultaneously, and you each hit the post button, smiling.

"Let's just keep them off for now," you said.

"Yeah, we can check in a couple hours?"

"Mhmm."

***

"Babe!" Tom said, running back into the room excitedly. "Let's check now!!"

"Okay, you goof. C'mere,: you motioned him to sit next to you in the bed again.

Sitting down, you opened his Instagram first. The caption (which you had made), was quite obvious, if the pictures didn't give it away. The post read, "Baby Holland, under construction..🤍".

Dozens of Tom's cast-mates had given their congratulatory messages in the comments, some even texting him in the direct messages and other's deciding to text his actual phone number. The post was up to twelve million likes already, the comments at least half that number. Your post had fifteen million, and thousands more comments then Tom. No doubt, your fanbase would be freaking out for the next couple months, expecting more baby content.

Fan's were commenting so many different things, some along the lines of 'Tom's a dad!' or 'Mommy Y/N!!!! My HEARTTTT🤍" and other fan reactions like that, some even including your ship name.

"Holy fuck, there's so many messages," Tom said.

Just then, the Instagram app, as well as Twitter, had kicked you both out. When you tried to reopen it, it just kicked you out again.

"What just happened?" you said.

"I don't- I don't know," Tom admitted.

Just then, Harry, Tom's brother, had called Tom.

"Yes?" Tom said, answering.

"Yeah, uhm, The Brother's Trust website is down."

"What? Why?" Tom asked.

You looked at him questioningly, silently asking what he had just been informed. He held up a finger, a silent 'in a minute.' You nodded, trying to open your social media apps again, but to no prevail.

"Too many people are on it at once."

"What? Why would tha-"

"Tom, your pregnancy announcement just broke the fucking internet. We're trying to get things back up."

"Oh shit," Tom whispered. "Alright, thanks for telling me."

"Yeah, yeah. I can't use Instagram now, so-"

"Wait you can't use it either?" Tom said. "It's kicked me and Y/N out whenever we've tried. Twitter's done the same."

"I think you broke the internet, Tom."

Tom laughed sarcastically, before he realized Harry was being serious. "Wait, what? You're not joking? Can that actually happen?"

"Yeah, One Direction's fans have done it countless times."

"Alright, alright. I've gotta go, I'll call you later," he said, and with a goodbye from Harry, he hung up the phone.

"What was that about, babe?" You asked.

"We- uhm.." Tom was stuttering. "We broke the internet," he confessed timidly.

"What?"

"Yeah, apparently that can happen? I don't know, but Twitter and Instagram are down, and so is the Brother's Trust website."

"Holy shit," you whispered. "Holy shit!" You started giggling.

You were hugging Tom, who had started laughing too. When you pulled apart, Tom had a dopey smile on his face, and you couldn't stop giggling.

"Might want to expect quite a few messages on your phone, Tommy."

"ME? You're the pregnant one!" He chuckled. "You should expect it too."

"Yeah, yeah," You laughed. "I love you."

"I love you too, angel," he said, giving you a silly kiss.

*** "Thomas!" Harrison said, slamming the door to his best friend's house.

"What?" Tom said, running into the room.

"Why'd you break the fucking internet?" Harrison whined.

You had come from the room Tom had just run out of, giggling and rubbing Tom's back affectionately.

"I'm sure the people are working on fixing things right now, H," You said.

"It's been hours! I need to stay updated with my games!" He whined again.

Tom and you exchanged glances before chuckling lightly. Tom had made his way over, opening the front door while talking to Harrison.

"You're gonna be perfectly fine without a few game scores," Tom said. "Now, have a good night. I am going to spend it," he had subtly moved Harrison to the front porch. "With my lovely, and might I mention pregnant, wife."

You had giggled, waving a goodbye as Tom closed the door. He turned around to look at you, before laughing and wrapping an arm around your waist, kissing your forehead.

"Ah the internet."

"Too bad we broke it," you giggled again.

#tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland fic #dad!tom #dad!tom holland #tom holland fluff #husband!tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x reader #tom holland x ag!reader

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johnkrrasinski · 4 years

Text

be my baby;

full masterlist

Pairings: bucky barnes x camgirl!reader (modern au)

Word count: 1,834

Warning: SMUT. sexy times, cuss words, masturbation, (female & male). MUST BE 18+

Summary: you were a camgirl and bucky barnes was your favorite regular client. what happens when you realized you were catching feelings?

a/n: this one’s written for @candy-and-writing‘s 1000 followers writing challenge. congrats girl! i chose the prompt “you’re fucking beautiful.”

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

The screen of your laptop lit up, illuminating the dimmed room you were unchaperoned in. The ringing tone reverberated, waiting for you to accept the call, and the familiar face and those sapphire blue eyes emerged.

"Hey there, handsome." You coquettishly whispered.

"Hey, baby. You ready to make daddy feel good tonight?"

"Yes, daddy. I’m always ready for you." You writhed for the man on the screen.

Bucky had been one of your regular clients for three months now and he was irrefutably your favourite. Those hypnotizing blue eyes and that deep gravel voice, especially when he went into the full commanding mode, mandating you to please him; that smug look on his face when he triumphantly made you roll your eyes to the back of your head, and the way his gentle words would soothe you afterwards made you wish he was right there in the same room as you instead of being linked by internet access. Sometimes you'd think that you were falling for the man, but the stringent voice in your head would quickly clear those daydreams away saying, "no! you gotta be professional. He probably has a girlfriend or a wife in real life." (and you swear you didn't hear your heart fracturing at the thought)

"Good girl. Always so obedient for daddy, huh?" you nodded. "Now take off that bra and those panties, then lean back and spread your legs wide for me."

"Yes, daddy," you followed his orders; spreading your legs wide, putting each on the sides of your laptop, giving him a full display of your glistening cunt.

"Such a pretty cunt. Now, rub that clit for me, c'mon."

You slowly slid your fingers down from your bare chest, to your belly and then to the spot that he wanted you to touch. You made a circling motion on the sensitive bundle of nerves. You shut your eyes as you let yourself relish the pleasure. You whimpered with your mouth open and bit your lip to suppress it.

"Play with your tits baby." Your other hand move to your breast and you groped the globe and then you pinched the nipple. "Yeah, just like that. God, you're so fucking beautiful." You moaned at the piquant sting, and you rubbed your clit more furiously as you felt yourself getting more soaked. You felt the familiar bubble forming in your abdomen ready to burst in seconds.

"Can I cum daddy, please?" You whined as you kept playing with your breast and fingers nudging the bud.

"Not yet babygirl, now insert two fingers inside that cunt."

You did as he said, and shoved two digits through your tight entrance and you moved them in and out as you felt your fingers getting drenched, the squelching sounds elevated the eroticism in the scene.

"Keep one hand on your sexy tits baby, yeah fuck that cunt for me."

As you shut your eyes once more, trying to focus on stroking the spot that pushes you to the edge every time, you heard the sound of him unzipping his pants, and he pulled down his boxer to his thighs, just enough to let his massive cock spring free.

His fingers circled around his shaft, pumping himself up and down, as he kept his sight fixated on you, watching every movement you make, the way your face contorted in pleasure and your brows furrowed, and euphonious sounds escaping your lips, it riled his cock more and more, getting it as hard and as stiff as a rock.

"Goddamnit, you're so fucking gorgeous." He grunted through his ragged breathing. "Think of my giant cock destroying that cunt, using you like the dirty little slut you are." His words caused shivers cascading your spine, as you envisioned being pinned underneath him with you ass up in the air and your face squeezed to the pillow.

You squirmed as your cries grew an octave higher, picturing his hands wrapped around your throat as he pounded into you vigorously from behind, not giving you any mercy or repose.

"Gonna fuck you until you're braindead until you can't do anything else but beg for my cock to make you cum like a whore." You picked up the pace, shoving your fingers relentlessly and thrashed around on the sheets.

You felt yourself clenching around your own digits, the tightening coil was seconds away into plummeting you into bliss. "Oh god, please, I'm so close daddy, please!" You pleaded through your ragged breathing as you arched your back.

"Beg louder, baby."

"I need to cum now, daddy! Please!" Your heart pounded against your ribcage, a common aftereffect from your sessions with Bucky.

"Attagirl. Cum for me babygirl, show me what a dirty little whore you are for me."

A few more vehement onslaughts and your abdomen convulsed. Your orgasm erupted, clouding your brain with euphoria, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Your body shook as your cries echoed on the walls of your room.

Bucky was still running his hand up and down, reaching his own impending climax. He felt his cock twitching and in a few more pumps, he shot out ribbons of his thick load all over his stomach. He growled as he envisioned painting your womb white with his seed, burying himself deep inside you until every last drop was stored.

He threw his head back and cussed in front of the camera. It was truly a magnificent sight. Man, Bucky knew what he signed up for in the first place and that every girl on this website would keep it strictly professional and online but, the number of times he’d fantasized about taking you on a date to a nice restaurant and then bring you home afterwards to fuck you against the bathroom wall or in front of the mirror all night long would easily give you a reason to kick him out or conclude any sexual engagements with him in the future. Bucky was too madly infatuated with you to risk it.

You were the only thing he looked forward to after a long, dull day at work. You had an edge around you that just pulled him in like a magnet, once he had a taste of you, he was addicted. And he hadn’t even physically tasted you yet. God, he could imagine just how sweet you would taste on his tongue. But you were also capable of being the ideal submissive that he desired. Those doe eyes looking at him through the lens and the way you’d bite your lip innocently, teasing him like the devil. It drove him nuts. And he only longed for more.

Bucky always thought that he wasn’t the type to settle down in a relationship but, if he were, you would exactly be the type of girl that could make him change his mind. Sometimes within the one-hour sessions that he had with you, he would tell you about his day and get all the tension of his chest to you and you would be an excellent listener, always paying attention to every word and never failed to making relieve him of the stress. Along the way, you both felt like you had known each other better than most people that you interacted with in real lives.

Was he catching feelings for you? No, no, no, for fuck’s sake, get it together, Barnes! She only saw you as another of her client!

The thought of you exposing every inch of your body to other men and women caused an extreme detestation in him and it was bugging the hell out of him.

“You did good, babygirl.”

“Thank you, daddy. Do you feel good?”

“Absolutely.” His smile was warm, a contrast to the one that would show when he was tormenting you.

“Do you wanna talk about your day, daddy?”

“Nothing new. Just another boring day at the job.”

“Well, at least mine is the complete opposite.” You winked at him.

He chuckled, amused by your witty remark. Then it was quiet for a few seconds.

“Babygirl, I’ve been thinking…”

“Yeah? What is that, daddy?”

“I know I agreed that we’d keep it strictly professional but, goddamnit, I can’t get you out of my mind for the last few months now. And you’re just… God, you’re fucking amazing. So I was wondering, would you like to meet up? I’ll take you on a nice date, and I’ll pick you up wherever you are.”

You were tongue-tied. You’d always thought that Bucky was never interested to see you in person. You always wondered about him, composing fiction in your head, every night before you drift into a deep slumber, based on all the data that he decided to share with you. You always imagined about kissing him, being on your knees for him as you wrapped your lips around his manhood, and using your body like a ragdoll. Because that’s the only place where you could touch him and feel him.

And now here he was, asking you if you were interested in meeting him in person and go on a date with him. You know that when you first applied for this job, you vowed to yourself that you’d keep it strictly professional and that you’d never let your feelings defeat your common sense. But those oaths were disrupted since the day this job introduced you to Bucky.

You couldn’t decide whether you were grateful or woeful for that.

But now you knew that it was the former. Because everything you had dreamt of for the last three months came true and you were bubbling with joy. You were ecstatic, like a girl who had just been asked by her crush to go to prom with him.

“Yes, yes daddy! I wanna go on a date with you.”

“You serious?” His expression was elated.

“Yes! I’d love to know you more, daddy.”

“Oh man, I should’ve been more prepared, so… How about you give me your number and text me your address later? This Saturday, 8 PM. Sounds good?”

“Yes, daddy. It does.”

“Alright. God, I can't fucking wait to see that beautiful face in person… Oh and by the way, you don’t have to call me daddy when we’re not getting each other off, baby. You can call me Bucky. I love to hear the sound of my name rolling off your tongue.”

“Okay, Bucky.”

You exchanged number before you ended the session and you instantly texted your address. What an odd coincidence it is that you both lived in New York. He worked at Wall Street and he reminded you that he was going to be at your front door at 8 PM this Saturday. You were jittery, anticipating for the weekend. You didn’t know if he was going to be as wonderful as he seemed to be in real life or if the date would lead to something more between you, but one thing that you knew for sure was that you certainly needed to shop for a new dress.

#candys1000writingchallenge #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan

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seijorhi · 4 years

Note

Ok so YouTube keeps recommending anime clips from that one rent a girlfriend anime and now all I can think of is reader renting a boyfriend just to have yandiere bokuto or maybe hajime become infatuated with her and immediately touching her way more than what the contract has written on it 💦

I am on a Fukurodani kick this week, so let’s go with our darling boy Bokuto 😌

Once again Rhi learns that she is actually incapable of creating a ‘short drabble’

TW implied non-con

It’s embarrassing. You can’t even get a date to your ex boyfriend’s wedding. The fact that you’re even going to your ex’s wedding is bad enough as it is- you’d tried to wriggle out of it, but considering the girl he’s marrying is your cousin, your attendance is apparently ‘not optional’ according to your family.

But you’ll be damned if you show up to watch them tie the knot alone. Finding a date however, is more difficult than you think. Your male friends are either busy, taken, already going with somebody else or close enough with your ex that he’d know you were just bringing them along for show. Basically, you’re screwed. It’s not even that you want to prove that you can one-up him - it’s the pity he’ll give you. He thinks he ruined your life when he left (he didn’t) and that you’re still desperately pining for him (you’d rather throw yourself off a cliff than get back together with him).

It starts as a joke with a friend, you’re both a few wines deep, bemoaning your struggles when she suggests those Craigslist’s ads. “You know, the whole rent a boyfriend for a night thing, and then when you meet he’s actually kinda cute, and then you kiss him as part of the act but you both secretly want more and then you guys end up sleeping together and then-”

Ok, she’s clearly had one or two more than you, because that is definitely not how those stories go, but it does get you thinking. You’re not going to use Craigslist - you value your life and safety thank you very much - but there are sites out there that offer those... services.

Which is what leads you to Bokuto. The website seems reputable enough - at least for a boyfriend for hire kind of a deal, and the reviews don’t look too frightening. Actually, they’re glowing, and maybe that’s what gives you the final push to arrange a ‘consultation’ with the man.

“It’s an overnight thing,” you tell him over the FaceTime call, only for your eyes to widen and your cheeks burn as you realise what it sounds like you’re implying. “Not that I’m asking you for sex! I’m not, I know that’s against the rules, it’s just that-”

He cuts you off with a warm laugh, “Don’t worry about it. Overnight is fine, though we do charge extra for that.” You’d expected as much - at this point you value your pride more than you care about the small fortune you’re going to end up forking out for this whole thing. “Just tell me exactly what you’re wanting out of this, what you are and aren’t comfortable with, and then I guess we can start talking about how we met, come up with some meet cute story that’ll make everyone else super jealous.” He winks and your heart skips a beat.

The call that’s supposed to last twenty minutes goes on for almost an hour, but you feel strangely relieved when it’s done. Well, relieved and maybe even a little excited? Bokuto’s attractive and funny and he didn’t seem like a creep. It’s a ridiculously stupid idea, and you should probably be horrified that you’re even considering it, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

He arrives at your place on time, which you count as a win, looking particularly fine in a nice suit with a tie that compliments the colour of your dress (as you’d discussed). He’s somehow managed to reduce you to a blushing and stammering mess as you sign the paperwork - and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

“Relax, baby,” he says, grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his lips for a kiss. “I’m gonna take good care of you tonight, just follow my lead.” His smile is beaming, but there’s a flicker of unease at the affectionate gesture. You’d agreed that posing as a ‘couple’ meant you’d have a show a little bit of PDA, but you’d thought he’d at least wait until you were actually at the wedding to start...

But he’s probably just trying to ease you into it. It has to look natural between the two of you, right?

To say that your family are impressed in an understatement. He’s tall, fit and handsome, and there’s this kind of bright, shining exuberance that just seems to draw people in. He’s like a puppy, almost - a super friendly golden retriever desperate for cuddles, and it’s sweet. Dutifully he sticks by your side the entire time. A little too close, maybe - following you every time you go to get a top up of your drink or a bite more food, reaching out to take your hand in his, but you suppose he’s just playing his part.

And he’s more than aware of your ex, who seems mighty interested in your new boyfriend, particularly for a man on his wedding day. You’ve just finished the entree course when all of a sudden Bokuto grabs your chin and tilts you back into a kiss, his tongue sliding between your lips to deepen it as you gasp in surprise. It only last for a moment, but when he pulls away there’s a distinctly satisfied look on his face. Your stomach twists into a knot, your cheeks warming under his heated gaze. You know that you said kissing was okay, inevitable at some point, but... it just took you a bit by surprise.

“What was that for?” you ask him quietly, trying not to frown as he toys idly with your fingers.

“Hm? Oh, your ex has been staring at us for the past five minutes. Figured I’d give him something to look at.”

It wasn’t a bad kiss by any stretch of imagination, but you can’t deny that it made you a little uncomfortable.

You know he’s only doing what you both agreed on, so you push down on those feeling and offer him a small smile and a nod, “Just, maybe warn me next time?”

He leans over and pecks your cheek, “Of course, baby.”

You choose to let the endearment slide.

It only gets worse as the night wears on. Bokuto’s reluctant to let you slip too far away. When your friends swarm to try and get you to come dance with them, Bokuto follows. He pouts when you ignore him in favour of dancing with the girls, and the very moment they turn their attention, he’s resting his chin on your shoulder, arms looping around your waist.

“Dance with me,” he whines, and you fight back a sigh.

He holds you close as you sway with the music, his broad hands resting just south of what’s considered appropriate, but you have to keep reminding yourself that he’s playing the role of your boyfriend, and if he really was your boyfriend, you wouldn’t be making such a fuss.

But when those hands start to wander, fingers grazing your sides, a hand dipping to rest on the curve of your ass, you have to put a stop to it. You don’t want to cause a scene, not when you can feel the eyes of the groom burning a hole in your back, but this doesn’t feel right anymore. He’s not exactly breaking any of the rules you set out, but there’s clearly been some miscommunication, because this is pushing right past your boundaries. “I just need some air,” you tell him with a tight smile, prying his arms off of you so you can make a hasty escape.

It’s both a blessing and a curse that you’ve booked a room in the hotel. You’re not relying on him to get you home, but there is absolutely no way in hell that you’re feeling comfortable enough to spend the night with him in the rooms you’ve booked - adjoining or not. It’s not his fault, you rationalise as you wait for the elevator, key in hand. Maybe this is how all of his engagements go - but fake boyfriend or not, he’s still a stranger, and this whole night has been too much.

You figure that you’ll slip away now, call an Uber back into town. There has to be a bus or something you can catch the rest of the way back home, even at this time of the night. You’ll text him once you’re on your way, letting him know that he’s welcome to the room (both of them, if he wants - they’re already paid for) and that he can expect the rest of his payment tomorrow as agreed. This was a bad idea, but you’re not going to be a bitch about it. You just want it over and done with.

You’re halfway through changing out of your dress when there’s an insistent knocking at your door. It must be your mother, you figure, or maybe one of your friends who saw you all but flee the dance floor downstairs, so you hastily re-do the zipper and try and right yourself before answering the door.

A pair of hooded, golden eyes greet you. Bokuto is grinning lazily, leaning up against the doorway with an arm braced against the frame, boxing you in. You hadn’t realised earlier just how big he really was - not just tall, but muscular - he dwarfs you without even trying.

He barges into the room before you can even try to protest, kicking the door firmly shut behind him.

“If you wanted to ditch so bad, baby, all ya had to do was say so.”

#BD drabbles #ask #yandere haikyuu #anon #not a request #tw implied noncon #not proofread we die like men

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zackmartin · 2 years

Photo

Please ignore my banner, I got lazy and didn’t want to spend the time to make it actually look like. decent alskdjf.

I met and started talking to some really cool new people this year and I’d love to include you, but I have this weird anxiety of coming across as overzealous and clingy but just know if we had at least one conversation, I consider us friends and I hope we become even better friends in the new year and if it wouldn’t be like, weird to you, you can definitely include yourself in this alsdkfj 💗

If I forget anyone please understand that I have really extreme Brain Fog right now but it obviously has no bearing on my love for you, y’all know who you are 💕

Even though I can’t say it to each of you this year, I still want to say how much I love you all. This past year and the year before have been two of the most difficult years I’ve ever been through, both because of stuff happening in the world and just everything going on in my personal life/health wise, and I don’t think I would’ve made it through had it not been for this website bringing me to some of the most incredible people.

To the ones that let me dump 6,000+ word essays in your DMs on a random idea I came up with, to letting me brainstorm and talk things out even though we all know it probably won’t turn into anything, to getting into something I adore and live-blogging in my inbox, to just random check-ins/asks, it all means the absolute world to me. And on that note, I want to thank you all for continuing to indulge me; I know i wouldn’t have seventeen different AUs for one random crossover I came up with almost three (!!!) years ago, nor would I have written 2k words today of my latest one if y’all didn’t at least pretend to care jsfjsj 😅😅 and I know Izzy and Felix wouldn’t exist and I wouldn’t be contemplating adding yet another sibling if you guys hadn’t been so supportive. 🥺 I also know I definitely would’ve quit gifmaking if you guys didn’t reblog all my stuff (even some of you when you aren’t in the fandom?? 🥺🥺 idk how to thank you for that) and leave little nice tags 💕💕 And I want to thank a lot of you for the opposite, to the ones that let me in on their ideas, and their universes and their OCs, I love it all so much, like just getting a glimpse into all that is a great source of joy for me, and I hope you all know that you can always come to me with ideas, you don’t even have to ask, because I want to hear it all 💖

and honestly I just want to thank y’all for being you. I feel like I know some of the best the world has to offer. I know I sound like a broken record, but it really does give me so much joy to see y’all excitedly gushing about something on my dash, even if it’s something I know nothing about. And I love getting into new things through all of you, and I definitely plan to continue that in the new year. I love watching you all grow and change and experience new things. 2022 better be kind to you all of you, and that’s a threat.🔪😤 Anyway, my brain is getting cloudy so it’s gonna start getting difficult to form coherent sentences so I gotta stop here alsdfkj but just know that I love y’all with my whole heart and I feel so honored to know each and every one of you, and I feel so beyond thankful to call you friends 💕

If I forget anyone please know that has all to do with the Brain Fog, and nothing to do with my love for you.

Also, honorable mention to Ryker; even though you don’t have an account for me to tag anymore, you’re definitely included in this 💗

@taylorswiftrulestheworld @willexs @harts-on-friar @sunsetcurve @legendaryjohnmarston @bitchmilsky @neshatriumphs @perhapspearl @dashingmoonlight @symphonic-concert @mistyskiesrambles @owenjoyners @youngbloodthekilljoy @the-nerdy-fangirl @ciara-knightly @unsaid-emily @hoovii @cactus-con

#i guess this isn't really a follow forever but. 'nikki's annual new year's sappy post' was too much for a banner ASDLFKJ #I feel like I'm forgetting SO many people :/#if I forgot please understand it's just because of my health #y'all know how much i love you <3 #anyway sorry for being cringey and embarrassing :/ thanks for putting up with me <3 #z makes a psa #I feel like Eliza with her graphic design degree just cringes every time i post stuff like this alskdjf #(I promise I mean that in like. a light-hearted jokey way)#pinned posts

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stevenbasic · 3 years

Text

This is so fucked up, Marisela Vazquez thought to herself, standing at her desk and looking over Melissa’s shoulder as they browsed through the new page designs for the practice’s website, How was I able to do all this?? In, like…two hours?!?

Marisela had spent the morning at her desk programming, writing code, and was now showing the results so far to her new Office Manager. She had always been pretty good with tech; it just sort of came naturally to her - just like her art, drawing, sketching, painting, sculpting. She’d just taken to it, since she was a kid. Web design had been a casual little hobby, and in fact she’d been the one who’d put together the site for Far Horizons a few years ago. But what she’d done this morning, after being asked by Melissa to work on the thing and add in pictures of all the new staff? It made her spine tingle...

It was really just over the last few nights that Marisela had begun glancing at her book on HTML6. If she was going to do this right she’d known she’d have to remake the entire site from scratch to get it up to current web standards. It was shocking how easily the new content came to her. She’d used premade templates before, and now this morning she’d found herself making embeds that she personally encoded for maximum streaming efficiency. She just somehow knew how to do…it all. Her fingers worked like virtuoso magic over the keys.

“I love how you arranged all the new pictures!” Melissa praised, turning to look up at her over her right shoulder with a secret, conspiratorial smile that - goddamnit why is this happening?? - made her heart flutter. Yes, she’d gotten a weird thrill from that, from feeling like she was quietly part of some “movement”, some covert revolution. She’d liked how she’d made his picture smaller than hers, how she’d surrounded him with his women.

“I, uh, still have a few girls to add in, once they get me their pics…” Marisela answered, eager from the praise, Ugh! What is wrong with me! she scolded herself. Marisela had always been a girl who prided herself on living a bit outside the mainstream, working and thinking to the beat of her own drum. Even being a bit surly: she embraced it. She’d been called “goth” and “e-girl”, “punk” “emo” and “scary” and all that - the jet black hair, the piercings, the dramatic eyeliner and tattoos - and had carefully cultivated the persona over the years. Not as much at work, of course - she couldn’t in a medical office - but nonetheless she liked being different. But here she was, suddenly part of some hot-girl posse, finding herself buying new push-up bras and doing her dark lipstick in ways that she knew would draw his eye. Yuck, right?

right..?

She was changing, she knew it, they all were. Not just in their attitudes, either. For one thing - though weirdly no one was really talking about it yet - there seemed to be some sort of second puberty drifting through the office. The thought was repulsive, at first. I don’t need any more fucking cup sizes! she remembered thinking, already being naturally too busty for how thin she was. But there were other changes that came along with the new mommy-milkers as well or the extra inches some of them had seen on their hips and inseams. For example she would’ve never been able to design a website like this two months ago. Or, like, she was able to do things with the office’s networks that would have baffled her in the past. She felt, basically…smarter. And, also - her art, her sketching had improved. Even that balloon thing that she did. She hadn’t worked with balloons for years, since art school, and yet it was the biggest, best thing she’d ever made.

But, Marisela had to admit, these last couple of months - since the practice had begun to change as Melissa and her friends set up shop - had been good. They had been strangely…exciting. She wasn’t a fan, at first, of the new girls. These people were mostly morons, Melissa the worst of the bunch. As a medical practice the place was becoming pathetic, a hot mess. But, jesus. She found herself slowly coming around, seeing the potential for the shit they could accomplish…and make him miserable in the meantime, as a bonus. There were storm clouds gathering, building energy…

…and it all seemed centered around Melissa.

Good god look at her, Marisela marveled, as she watched her young Office Manager stretch her arms up above her head, Who the fuck is this superwoman?? Melissa’s jaw-dropping upper torso was on full display in a tight blue tank; her business jacket had been laid down off to the side. She was somehow both athletically muscular and perfectly, wasp-waistedly luscious, bosomy and built, at the same time. So tall, she was an insanely perfect specimen.

“The girls are going to love this..!” Melissa lauded, oblivious to Marisela’s reverential gaze and continuing to scan through the photos of the staff that she’d asked the girls to contribute, assembled, and sent on to Marisela. “They all look so pretty!”

Just then, on the desk, Melissa’s phone buzzed.

Marisela had to admit that - as she watched her big-haired, big-boobed boss pick up her phone to check the text - she was getting to enjoy Melissa’s company. As much as it pained her to acknowledge, she knew that being around her was making her a better person, or at least a better woman. Because ‘better person’ may have been a stretch, with the way she was feeling, the thoughts she was having towards him and men in general. Those sorts of thoughts made her feel fucking evil; they were not the musings of a ‘better person’. She’d always despised him, since his affairs with the other girls in the office, being a married man. And the way he looked at her at times? She’d always thought it was gross. But now, she didn’t quite exactly know how to put into words how she felt about him. Part of it was, yes, wanting to crush his fucking nuts. Like, literally. She wanted to crush his nuts, under her new thick-heeled Docs (size 9!). But she also wanted to, well -

“Oh, haha, sorry Marisela,” Melissa said, typing out the last of a text in reply, “That was Vida. Sounds like he’s not feeling well, still at the hospital on his rounds.” Marisela saw Melissa bite her lower lip, squirm a little in her seat. She seemed a bit taken, excited, trying to keep herself together and gather her feelings. “She’s going to go cover his patients there, but it sounds like…”

At that, Marisela watched Melissa shudder, and then smile in ill-contained rapture. She then quickly stood, picked up her suit jacket, checked for her car keys.

“I’ve gotta go get him,” she said, with barely contained enthusiasm and a sparkle in her eye, “…it sounds like he needs me.”

=======================================

Thanks to SaulJinzler for the boob morph in the image. Check out his DeviantArt, full of goodness here

#growing into the job

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13uswntimagines · 3 years

Text

12 Drinks and a Kiss for Christmas (Sam Mewis x Reader)

Request: uswnt x baby reader where their birthday is 3 days before Christmas and so the team tries to make it like extra special cause people usually just kind of ignore readers birthday.

But @literaryhedgehog and i went slightly off the rails and had way too much fun making a drunk version of the 12 days of Christmas.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

“One shot of bourbon whiskey,” you sang, modifying the words as one of the most infuriating Christmas carols came over the radio. You didn’t hate Christmas, you just hated the fact that it swallowed the entire month of December like a black hole. Hell, it took up November too (minus the last Thursday reserved for Thanksgiving). The music was inescapable, and any event planned in the month risked being decorated with whatever leftover trees and red and green trinkets someone had laying around.

Any child born in December was lucky if their wrapping paper wasn’t also holiday-themed. You should know- you had the misfortune of being born on the 22nd.

“That sounds like a change I can get behind,” Sam said, sliding into the chair next to you. “Never really understood why someone would want a bunch of birds. I mean towards the end of the song the lover starts giving dancers and pipers, and like, I know that probably means they were hired for the day, but still. An alcohol-themed song seems more my style.”

You laughed, “Happy to help.”

You bumped her with your shoulder, smiling up at her. You were friends with most of the women on your new team, but Sam was one of your favorites. She got your sense of humor, a sort of dry and quiet sarcasm that was a bit subtle if someone didn’t know you. But despite how incredibly cuddly her tall frame was, she was also completely willing to spend an afternoon exchanging barbs under her breath as you watched the significantly less subtle flirting going on between Mal and Rose. You had bets on when the oblivious forward and midfielder would admit their feelings for each other.

“Wait,” you paused in your thoughts, frowning up at her. “I thought everyone was already gone. I took my time in the locker room because I didn’t think anyone was still here.”

“The first van already left, but I didn’t want you to have to ride with Carli and Becky by yourself,” Sam said bumping you back.

You smiled up at her, then leaned over to grab the shoulder strap of your bag, “Well I guess we shouldn’t make them wait any longer-”

“Oh no it's fine!” Sam said, quickly. “They needed to run to the store anyway to restock our Oreo supply, they promised to text when they got back.”

“But Dawn said no more Oreos until after the Friendlies are over,” you pouted.

“Well Dawn isn’t driving the van, is she? Thus why Carli and Becky waited to run to the store until after the first van left. So nothing to do while we wait except rewrite the words to the twelve days of Christmas, right? What should replace two turtle doves?”

“Body shots…?” You asked, squinting your eyes. At least that would fit the tune.

“I like it… Kind of annoying how well that fits actually. Are we going to make the entire song about shots now?”

You tapped your chin in through, quirking your lips. “Hm, not a bad idea, but I think it would get a little repetitive,”

“Fair point. Okay, so the next line is three French hens. Do we want to make it three French wines, or is that too easy?”

“I think that’s cheating just a touch,” You smiled, holding up fingers a centimeter apart.

“Ugh, fine,” Sam rolled her eyes, though that didn’t disguise for one second the grin on her face, “three mulled wines.”

“I think that’s acceptable,” you nodded. It fit like a charm. “four gin and tonic?”

“Then four martinis. Come on short stuff, calling birds, martinis, they have the same number of syllables!” Sam exclaimed, slapping your shoulder.

“Whatever. Five Gin fizzes,” You huffed, pouting playfully. You didn’t like to lose.

“Oh, yum. I have no idea what that is, but it sounds delicious. How long again until we’re allowed to drink?” Sam whined. You both knew that one of the costs of your career included swearing off alcohol at certain points of the year. Especially hard alcohols. Something about feeding your body good foods so it could give you even the slightest of edges.

“Too long,” You deadpanned.

“Sigh,” Sam said, pretending to be melodramatic.

“We gotta use grey goose in the next one. You know. It’s like a spin on the gooses. Guises? Whatever the correct pronunciation is,” you waved your hand dismissively. This would be much more entertaining if you were soused.

I’m

“GEESE, you heathen. You’re right though. Ummm. Six grey goose toddies?’

“A vodka toddie though?”You looked at her skeptically. “I’d rather share Emily’s Budweiser,”

“Fine, fine,” she pulled out her phone and started googling drink options, muttering to herself (for your amusement, presumably) about ‘perfectionists’ and ‘just because someone knows so much about vodka’. “Um. There's a drink called a sunset? Or we could just go basic bitch and say six grey goose cosmos?’

“Well sunsets are made with tequila so a cosmo is more appropriate,” You mumbled.

“The grey goose website says that you can make a sunset with their vodka. See, look at this, right there!”

“Poppycock. They just want you to spend money in their stuff instead of Don Julio,”

“But tasty has a recipe too, look,” Sam said, whining slightly. You weren’t the only one who didn’t like losing.

You moved your head, dodging the screen. If you didn’t see it, then it didn’t exist. If it worked with Jill Ellis then it would work for you.

“Just LOOK you obstinate bulldog of a human being!” Sam was giggling as she grabbed you to try and hold her phone in your line of vision

“You can’t make me,” In your haste to pull away, you leaned too far over the edge of the bench. Before you knew it you were tumbling off the bench, pulling Sam with you in your effort to not crash out on the locker room floor.

“Fuck, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” You groaned, looking up into the woman’s eyes. You never realized there was a thin golden ring around her pupil before it melted into blue or the smattering of light freckles that covered her cheeks. You weren’t sure if you were leaning into her, or if she was leaning into you. All you knew was that after a few seconds your lips were lightly touching hers.

An annoying buzz broke the two of you out of your daze, Sam’s phone lighting up in your peripheral vision. You reached out and grabbed it, since her arm was currently trapped under you.

Saucy Sonny- need an extra 5, you up for keeping her distracted with your flirting for that long?

“Fuck, you probably shouldn’t be reading that. What’s it say?” Sam asked, as she extracted her arm and tried to reach around to take her phone.

“You were flirting just to distract me?”

“No! Sonnets just- I was just supposed to talk to you to keep you in here until the party was se- and I spoiled the surprise. fuck.”

“So Sonnett didn’t dare you to kiss me?” You asked with a very small voice.

“No, but she has been teasing me about wanting to kiss you for the last two months. I didn’t mean to- I didn’t want to ruin our friendship if you didn’t have similar feelings.” Sam ruffled the hair at the back of her neck. “What a way to screw up your birthday. First the kiss then ruined the surprise party, and--”

“I think we should definitely ruin our friendship,” You interrupted, smirking, and nudging the woman’s chin with your nose. You reached around to intertwine your fingers. “And I promise to act surprised, as long as there are more kisses in it for me.”

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #sam mewis imagine #sam mewis x reader #literalhedgehog

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