#there's literally so much evidence that they would have been fine lmao

[espinosaurusrexex]

Celeste

FallenAngel!BuckyBarnes x Female!Reader AU

summary: Heaven is not what they tell you. The celestials don’t live in harmony and the devil is not as far as you might think. He’s vicious in his ways to seduce every being - makes even the mighty fall from grace. And one of them happens to be your guardian angel. When James is banished from the heavens, he is forced to amend his sins on earth. What did he do wrong, you might ask? Well, he fell for the one he watched over.

a/n: I thought I’ve read a FallenAngel!Bucky fic on here before. But I couldn’t find it. So please, if you know it, tag me. Anyway, this is my take on the au.

word count: 20.3k (good lord, someone take my computer away)

warnings: this might offend some people (remember this is my fantasy world - I don’t know much about angels and the whole shebang), soulmate trope, the devil, also God?, jealousy/envy, mentions of killing and abuse, banishment and punishments, he falls first (literally lmao), fluff and wholesomeness, agony, angst (of course, with happy end!), smut (wingplay, Bucky‘s got heavenly dick, Virgin!Bucky, size kink, cum play) !MINORS DNI!

ﾟ✫* 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ｡✭･ﾟ✶ 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑 ✧*･ﾟ

all image credit goes to @animarvelita on TikTok (there's more at the end)

James.

Wake up, James.

Wake up!

The wind hits his lashes before he opens his eyes. He’s falling. He’s falling and there’s nothing he can do. 

❁ ❁ ❁

It’s eerie outside, you note as your towel glides over the countertop. The entire window of the diner displays dark clouds. Dark clouds that will soon bring the heavy rain Old Lee has been mumbling about for days now. 

Not too many people believe what the crazy farmer says but you can’t help but notice how much he really understands of the world. 

Nick hits the little golden bell by the serving hatch and you take the fresh sandwiches to a table by the door. 

“Anything else I can get you?”

“We’re good, honey.”

You just nod as your eyes stay focused on the small parking lot outside. You wipe your hands on your apron and return to the counter when the first drop of rain hits the window pane.

❁ ❁ ❁

Branches are aching beneath his weight when he crashes through the trees. A deep thud echoes in the woods as his body hits the ground. It’s raining. 

Every tragedy needs rain.

❁ ❁ ❁

"Are you alright, dear?" Peggy, one of the regulars, a wise old lady, asks and points to your hand that's settled above your chest. 

You clear your throat. "I'm fine. Just a frog in my throat." You nod with a tight smile. Something seems to have knocked the air out of your lungs. But you've been feeling like you are coming down with something for a few days now. 

"Must be the weather," Howard comment's next to Peggy, and his newspaper crumbles beneath his touch. 

You turn and refill their coffee mugs. "Yeah... must be." But you can't shake the feeling it has brought to you. 

"It's always the weather." Peggy nods before the door to the diner opens and Old Lee enters, his muddy boots dirtying the checkered floors. You scrunch your nose. You'd be the one cleaning that up later, Scott surely won't do it. 

"This ain't a normal April storm, folks." His hat tips before he sits at the counter in front of you. "You look like you’ve been trampled by a cow.”

"It's just the weather," you say and place a cup of hot tea in front of him. That's just Stan: brutally honest and strangely right about everything. 

❁ ❁ ❁

Pain is strange. His feet get caught in the thorned bushes. Golden blood is the only evidence of his path.

And it’s slowly turning black.

❁ ❁ ❁

The storm outside intensifies, the rain hammering against the diner's windows with an unrelenting force. Old Lee's words linger in the air, stirring a sense of unease among the patrons. You glance outside, noticing the darkness creeping in as if it's swallowing everything in its path.

A shiver runs down your back as you remember how much Pietro would have loved this storm. Your mind drifts back to the memory of him. He always found solace in the chaos of nature, seeing beauty even in the fiercest storms.

But he's is gone now, lost to you in a way that is irreversible. The ache in your chest intensifies as you try to push away the memories, focusing instead on your tasks at hand.

Stan’s voice is low and gravelly when he murmurs again. "You can't outrun the storm, kid. It's coming for all of us, whether we're ready or not."

His words are chilling, but you shake it off, forcing a smile as you refill his tea. 

"We'll weather this storm just like we always do." Peggy chimes in as her hand lands on yours with her calming touch. But your heart is hammering in your chest, still. Something feels off. As if a piece fell out of place, waiting to be discovered, and raving to make a mess. 

❁ ❁ ❁

It’s cold and muddy here, no comfort in sight. But he’ll venture on until he reaches you. His soul is pulled to your very presence. 

He needs to find you. Needs to amend his wrongs. Though is it really wrong to love?

❁ ❁ ❁

It’s dark out when you hang your apron in your locker and wave a short goodbye to Nick. Pulling your coat tightly around you in an attempt to brace yourself for the wind, you step outside into the deluge. The rain lashes against your skin, soaking you to the bone on your walk through deserted streets and cold concrete. 

You sigh thinking about everyone that made it home dry, probably sitting in their beds right now, watching the rain roll down their window pane with a hot cup of cocoa in hand. 

But that seems to postpone itself, you realize as you abruptly halt. You look around. This isn’t your usual route home. But something pulled you off your intended path and toward an unfamiliar alleyway. Confusion mingles with a strange sense of anticipation as you find yourself drawn deeper into the darkness. 

Your head is screaming at you. This is dangerous. You shouldn’t be doing this. Why are your feet moving anyway?

And then you see it. Or rather... him?

A figure stands at the end of the alley, obscured by shadows and rain, but there's something about him that sets your heart racing.

"Hello?" you call out tentatively, your voice barely audible over the storm. You hate how weak you sound. 

He steps forward into the dim light, his features illuminated by a flickering streetlamp. Dark hair and a strong yaw, wide muscular shoulders, his arms are adorned by silver cuffs. His whole being is well over six feet. But he seems even taller as something wide reaches from behind him, almost hugging his shoulders and prodding up towards the sky. He steps forward again and your breath hitches in your throat when you can finally make out the grey feathery wings standing from behind his back.

But you don’t run. You don’t even stumble back. Your feet are frozen to the ground. Then his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, time seems to stand still as you’re caught in the intensity of his gaze. 

“I’ve been searching for you,” he says, his voice almost like a whisper to the wind. Calling and marvelous. 

Everything inside you tells your how absurd this situation is. How fast you should be running anywhere but here right now. But the way your heart races doesn’t feel like fear. In fact, you’re not even scared. More fascinated, awestruck, intrigued. You know he wont hurt you. 

“I don’t know you.” You manage to stammer, your eyes still locked with his. The tension overwhelming and electrifying all at once.

“That should be obvious.” He points to his wings smiling amused, a smile that you know holds a universe of secrets and promises. You want to learn them all, you catch yourself thinking as your eyes slip to his lips. 

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to understand,” he replies and it’s the first time his wings move behind him. “Just trust that we are connected in ways you cannot even begin to imagine.”

“Well?” You clear your throat and cross your arms in front of your chest, relieved your body is able to move again, though the pose feels rather awkward. “Why are you here?”

He seems shocked for a moment, as if he hadn’t expected you to play along so fast. And, to be honest, neither did you... at least a little. 

“I need to...” His mouth falls shut again and he turns his head down to the side, shoulders heaving. “I guess I need a place to stay.”

“With me?” That’s insane. You know it is. But why does it not surprise you? 

He nods, you shake your head. “I cant just accommodate a...” You gesture to him and he clears his throat awkwardly. 

“Angel.”

“Right, of course.” You chuckle as you scan his body again. Only now do you see the torn clothes and bloody feet. Drenched through and through. 

You sigh. “I don’t even know your name...” 

His eyes are sparkling, the smallest of twitches making him look a little softer, tangible even. You’re not afraid of him. And it messes with your head. You should be scared, right? But all there is in your body is the steady tingle pinging from your heart back to your stomach. 

“It’s James.” His smile is handsome when he reaches out his hands, offering you a better look to his toned arms.

Whywhywhy? “Alright.” 

❁ ❁ ❁

James looks out of place in your rather small living room. His size dwarves every piece of furniture carefully picked out to make your house a home. He makes it look like a doll house just by standing in it. 

But he doesn’t seem to care. James ducks when he passes through the door and you watch his feathers ruffle as they press themselves to his back in order to fit through. 

You’re not sure what to do. Never in your life did you think you would end up in a situation like this. There is no protocol for hosting celestial beings. Though a how to angel dinner party guide would come in handy now. Did he even eat?

Something must be wrong with you. You let a total stranger into your house, even though your track record of people skills is not exactly the best. One that is borderline freakishly tall and has wings. Wings that look soft and beautiful. But strong and kind of intimidating as well. But why does he feel so safe?

“You’re staring.” James notes and a handsome grin spreads across his face. 

“I’m not really used to having angels in my house to be honest.” The sarcasm is dripping from your tone in subtle undertones. But James seems to enjoy it. “Why are you here? On earth... I mean.”

He stares at the ceiling and his wings sag a little. “I have a mission, dearest.” He tells and his eyes meet yours. They’re deep blue and stormy - just like the sky. You can see yourself falling lost in them. His presence is all-consuming, making you shiver. It reminds you that the both of you are drenched from the rain. A puddle has formed around your feet and James’s wings guide the water droplets to your hardwood floor in two perfect circles. His hair is curling at the ends, in the nape of his neck and the water is also running down his throat, pooling in the remains of his shirt. 

“What mission?”

“I cannot tell you yet.” 

You nod, even though you don’t understand. But you don’t want to pressure him. “Do you need a shower? Or... clean clothes?” The second you ask you feel stupid. It’s silly right? Why shouldn’t angels shower? 

Then again, the way he looks at you is one of surprise. “Yes, that would be good.” 

“Good. Yes.” With a sigh you flee through the hallway to your room in search for some clothes. 

❁ ❁ ❁

A shower. James is giddy. Human things have always excited him. He has been watching from the heavens for eons, never truly experienced them quite like this. But he’s intrigued. Especially when you offer them to him like he’s not an intruder in your life. 

If things were different, you would never know he even existed. But James is guilty of happiness that he gets to meet you in person. 

Up close, you’re even more perfect. You smell nice, your home feels cozier than anything he’s ever experienced, and your voice sounds just a sliver more comforting when its directed at him. 

He is smiling like a fool, standing in your living room - the one he knows by heart but so much more personal now. And when you return to him with a pile of grey cloth, his heart skips a beat. You bring him the familiar warmth that made him fall in the first place. But having you within an arm’s length makes all of it feel worth it. 

There is not an ounce of regret in him for being here.

Electricity shoots up his arm when you touch his hand. It’s cold and wet - he immediately vows to always keep you warm from now on - makes it his purpose to have you be comfortable for the rest of your life. 

You lead him to the bathroom, grinning sheepishly when you gesture toward your shower. 

“It might be a tight squeeze.” You point at the glass surrounding your bathtub. “But it’s all I can offer.”

“It will do just fine.” He reassures you. 

“I will leave you to it then.” James is confused.

“Are you not staying?”

“Sorry?”

“To help me.”

“Help you... shower?” There is hesitance in your tone, but James truly doesn’t know how to turn the thing on.

“Well, yes.”

“I...” Your eyes are big, staring up at him through surprise and nervousness. “I don’t want to intrude. Give you some privacy to- oh.”

His clothes are already on the floor. He knows this much. Shower is something one does naked. But you seem to be shocked when his whole body is revealed to you. Do you like it? James is sure he looks as close to a human as a person with wings can. So why are you still staring at his stomach?

His eyes catch yours as they move a little lower, your eyebrows raising just that much higher and a smirk places itself on his face. So, you do like what you see. He confirms silently. Not that he particularly knows why. He never noticed people by their bodies - only their soul, because that is the important thing - the one that never changes. 

And yours is the most enchanting of them all. 

❁ ❁ ❁

You watch as James sit’s down on the opposite end of the sofa. He’s declined every offer you have made for him to feel a little more welcome. But he seems content. His smile hasn’t left his lips ever since you led him to the bathroom.

You couldn’t help but notice his body when he revealed it all  to you. It’s like every inch of him is carved by the gods. He looks soft in the right parts, strong enough not to be skinny with his height. And his male parts. Well, they look more than satisfactory. 

You felt like a pervert staring him up and down while he stood there with this kind of proud innocence to him, wondering if he understood how proud he could be of his looks. There is so much you don’t know about him. It’s not like you haven’t talked. 

You have. But he speaks in riddles. 

“You are staring again.” James notes and you immediately snap your head elsewhere. 

“I’m just figuring this situation out, I guess.”

He smiles encouragingly. “You can ask questions. I imagine you’ve been eager to know more.”

You exhale long, taking courage to look him in the eyes. “And you will answer all of them honestly?”

“Honestly, yes.” His teeth find his bottom lip and you squeeze your thighs together.  “I cannot promise to answer them all.”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

A comfortable silence settles between you as you think of the first thing you could ask him. Maybe you should get the most obvious one out of the way. Maybe you should ask him more about himself, though you’re not sure how personal he can get if he spent his entire life in heaven. You just assume there is too much to do to pursue actual hobbies and such. 

“Is there a God?”

“Starting with the light questions, I see.” You just look at him with intrigue. Already lining up all the other questions no-one else in this world has the opportunity to have answered. James sighs and then nods. “Yes, God exists.”

“Do you know God?”

He hesitates, his eyes fleeting to the end of the room and then back to you. “Yes.”

“Why did that answer take you so long?”

His jaw tenses and his eyes find the floor as if he was cursing himself for offering this situation. But then again, you haven’t heard him cuss once. Maybe you’re wrong. “It was under rather... unfortunate circumstances.” 

You nod as if you understand. But you can only imagine. “So, he’s like the big boss, only getting involved when things escalate?”

James looks caught, his wings draw in closer. After a moment, he clears his throat and his feathers ruffle with a small shake. “First of all, it’s she/they. And second, ... I guess you could say that, yes.”

“I knew it.” You grin as the pride washes over you at this information. “Why did she never correct us?”

“Let’s just say mankind doesn’t have a great track record of enforcing things that go against their believe... Not that it would be believable if someone told the story of meeting an angel who told them God is a woman.”

“Fair point. That person would have probably been burnt alive.” You nod again, crossing your legs and turning to him on the sofa. James takes a moment to rake his eyes over your body, making you feel tingles all over. You clear your throat. “Speaking of torture... Why do we have war and world hunger?”

“Please do not take this the wrong way. Those are issues that very much concern God or anyone that want’s the best for her people, but she’s busy. She manages everything else that has gone south since.”

“Since what?” You partly enjoy the way James talks to you as if you are an insider, but you only understand half of what he’s saying. 

“Since she and Lucifer had a big fallout.” He shrugs, but it just adds to your confusion.

“I’m not following.”

He rolls his eyes as if it were your fault you don’t know about this supernatural fight. “They had a disagreement. Lucifer’s response to God’s proposal was an ill-conceived frivolity which ended up becoming the patriarchy.” 

To say you’re stunned is a serious understatement. “You’re telling me the devil threw a tamper tantrum and that’s why we have inequality? How did he even do that?”

James shakes his head. “...Yes. The trial is still in progress. But it may be calming to know that we have not figured out exactly how he convinced an entire species of males being the stronger part of it.”

“No, James. It is not calming to know.” You sigh and watch as he clasps his hands in his lap, his cuffs glistening in the lamplight. God, they’re big. You immediately scold yourself for thinking this, feeling weirds as the words of your mother echo in your head ‘Don’t you dare use God’s name in vain’. “What exactly has God done since then?”

The smile returns to his face and you readjust yourself on the sofa. “Oh, you wouldn’t want to know how this world would look if she hadn’t kept busy with sorting it.”

Your nose wrinkles in a frown, as you check the points off in your head. “I really don’t think it can get that much worse. Climate change, mass genocides, what else could there be?” You nod at each one just as James lifts up his fingers and opens his mouth as if he is starting to count. 

But you stop him. “Please don’t.”

“Yes, that is probably for the best.”

It is silent for a moment as you try to process all the information you have just attained. It is a rather weird feeling. Knowing you know what no-one else on earth does and not being able to tell. Knowing there will be no-one believing you. 

You sigh when your head starts spinning from how crazy this day has been. James seems to be rather relaxed considering he barely knows you. His dark hair falls around his face perfectly, the back of it forming a cute curl in the nape of his neck and your fingers itch to touch it.

But you refrain, reminding yourself that he is a stranger - and an angel. Beside the fact that he has not once reached out to you, just randomly touching his hair would probably be the weirdest thing to do right now. 

“Can I ask you something?” He suddenly breaks the silence and you shoot a thank you to the sky for saving yourself from going down the mental rabbit hole of how soft his hair looks. 

“Yes.”

“Why did you take me in?” James’s eyes are boring into yours so innocently. If it weren’t for the giant wings on his back, he would almost look like a normal clueless and incredibly cute guy. And yet he just revealed outerworldly gossip as if you were discussing the latest celebrity TMZ. 

“I-“ you trail off, thinking about it for a while. You aren’t sure how much you can tell him. But James has been genuine from the start. It wold only be fair to do the same. “I felt like you needed me.”

A weird feeling takes over your body suddenly. Like a warm flush rushing through you. James fidgets in your peripheral and nods in understanding. “I did. I do.”

It’s like the reality of it all hits you like brick when a noise sounds from outside and his wings twitch, pushing over a pile of books on the cupboard behind the sofa. This is not normal, something tells you, and yet your stomach flutters in a way that feels a lot like butterflies. Everything about James is fascinating to you. You constantly fight the urge to reach out and brush your fingertips over every part of him. And for some reason, your mind tries to tell you that he would let you. 

“Why are you really here, James?” You voice is only a whisper when the rattling outside subsides. It’s probably a raccoon or something. But James looks a little nervous all of a sudden. 

“I’m afraid that is one thing I cannot tell you, love.”

You sigh. “I guess... I just want to help. Having you stay here doesn’t feel like it’s enough. There has got to be something you need to do.”

“That is very kind of you. I admire your bravery and openness.” His lips spread into a smile, his hand lifting from his lap as if he is about to place it on yours, but his fingers only strech and land back on the sofa between you. “But to be truthful, even if I knew what I had to do, I am not sure wether I would do it or not”

So he is a little deviant. You smile at the small observation. Maybe it’s the reason he is here in the first place. But you feel like you have asked James enough for tonight. Just on cue, a yawn escapes your lips. 

“You should rest. It has been a long day.” 

You nod, rubbing your eyes and rising from the soft cushions. “I have a spare bedroom. You can sleep there.”

“That is fine. I do not sleep.” James shakes his head as he rises with you out of curtesy. With his hands clasped in front of him he looks like a goth painting. 

“What? Never?”

“I am not human, dearest. My body attains energy in different ways.” You shudder again, blaming it on your sleepiness as you rub your arms when another yawn escapes you. 

“Maybe you can tell me about it tomorrow. I am really tired.”

“I will be watching over you.” Your name passes his lips like a song, sending another shiver through you. What the hell is the matter with you. You huff as you catch yourself again. It really never occurred to you how often you referenced to the supernatural... “Take all the rest you can get.”

“Good night, James.” You nod and wave awkwardly.

“Good night.”

You know James’s eyes are only you until you disappear into the hallway. But you cant help but feel safely watched over with him around. 

❁ ❁ ❁

They will find him, and they will send him further from you than he ever was.

❁ ❁ ❁

James hates the days you have to leave for work. He watches you with a sense of longing and resignation, knowing that he must find a way to navigate this separation once again. Though it is necessary he find a way to dodge the inevitable.

It’s the vexing thing about the celestial kingdom. They always leave one to find the laws on their journey. There is no book he could read on earth that could help him here. But he has seen the repercussions of disobedience, felt the weight of his transgressions bearing down on him like a heavy chain.

And yet, as he watches you prepare to leave for work, a sense of desperation gnaws at him from within. He wants to reach out, to beg you to stay, to keep you safe from whatever dangers may lurk beyond the safety of your home.

But he knows he can't. He's bound by duty, by the laws of God that dictate his every move. And so, with a heavy heart, he watches silently as you gather your things and head out the door, leaving him alone once more.

As the door closes behind you, James is left with nothing but the echoes of your footsteps fading into the distance. He knows he should use this time wisely, to prepare for whatever trials may lie ahead, but his thoughts are consumed by you, by the overwhelming need to protect you at all costs.

❁ ❁ ❁

There’s and angel in your home. And he’s so freaking attractive, it’s unfair. 

It has been a week since you found James. And despite the incredibly irrational decisions of yours to invite him into your home, nothing bad has happened to you. Sure, the first night you might have dreamt about him. He’s everything your fantasy books described an more. And you couldn’t help but let that tiny romantic sliver of you hope for the more. 

But James is more pious than any catholic boarding school kid you’ve ever met. 

He seems to enjoy a good joke and he’s quite confident. But he never once touched you. And while that should not be one of your first concerns, considering he’s a stranger and an angel, something inside you tells you he’s holding back. 

He never even flinches when you reach out to him. And the longing stares he sends your way make you shiver with anticipation. Yet there is no attempt to ever pull you in - even though you are so sure you were sending signals. 

Maybe there are no signals in heaven. What are you even saying? Of course there are no signals in heaven. You don’t even believe dating exists up there. 

“Yo, whaddup with ya today? I’ve been calling your name for a solid minute.”

“Sorry. Feeling a little off today,” you mumble to Nick and retrieve the food waiting in the serving hatch. 

“You can’t go home. I don’t wanna serve alone today.”

“Scott, there’s literally no-one here.” You gesture toward the few people sitting in their booths and sigh. “Besides, I never said I was going home.” 

“Don’t get mad. You barely texted me back this week. What’s so awesome about your home when I’m not there with you?” You feel the heat rising to your head at Scott’s comment. “You’d think she’d call me if she ever needed to hide something.” He mumbles to Nick who just laughs and flips a pancake. 

You turn to him with your fists by your side. “The weather is weird and cold, can’t I need a little down time?”

“Not from me!” Scott looks baffled. He’s your friend, and yes, you had other things to worry about than be on your phone this week. But you also knew he wouldn’t understand.

“You’re being a real pain in my ass today, Scotty.”

“Good, so everything’s back to normal then.”

You throw a towel in his face. “Shut up.”

“Cut it out, you two, there’s customers.”

Scott resumes to the back, effectively dodging his work and leaving you to serve the new customer. But your breath hitches in your throat when you look up from the counter.

James is standing in the door, already drawing looks of attention from a few people. He’s smiling back at them, even waving at a child before his eyes meet yours and your heart sets off again. It seems to always do that when he’s close. 

You rush toward him, wrapping your fingers around his cuffed wrist and he audibly exhales. 

“You can’t be here.”

“Why not?”

“Because-“ you lean in closer and James bows down to get his face to your level. “You’re and angel.” You mutter under your breath and the sexy smile returns to his perfect lips. 

“And how would they know that?” His eyebrow raises. 

“You-“ you lean back, examining his shoulders - only then noticing that his wings are not there anymore. “How?”

“I only show myself to truly important people.” He winks and you stumble back a little, his sudden boldness making your legs feel like jello. 

“What are you doing here?” 

James looks around the diner as though he has not planned this far. His eyes swerve to the counter and then back to you. “I want to watch you work. I enjoy spending time with you.”

“But you can’t be here without ordering.”

“Then I will oder.”

“You don’t eat, James. Do you even have money?”

That seems to surprise him. “No.” You shake your head and look at the tiled floor. James’s wrist is still wrapped in your hand but there is no attempt to hold you. So you drop it. Why did he even come here when he won’t touch you?

“Please, beautiful. Let me stay.” His eyes are genuine, his lips purse in a plea. All you can think about is how weirdly lucky you are that this Adonis of a being chose you for his quest. 

You bite your lip and watch him shudder. “Alright. Just sit by the counter and try to be inconspicuous.”

His smile spreads wide. “I’ll be as invisible as the air you breathe.”

You exhale and get back to work but unfortunately, his promise doesn’t last long. Before you know it, Peggy has chosen the seat right beside James. She’s leaning over to him at the counter and Howard just sits beside them with his newspaper in hand - as always. James seems just as invested in the conversation as Peggy and as you steal glances over to the pair of them, insistently hoping he won’t spill about his identity, you catch James’s eyes lingering on you. 

“You are a fine young man, James.” Peggy's hand lands on his, tapping it in a grandmotherly manor, though her eyes are glinting with something akin to longing. She whispers something into his ear you cant make out and James’s eyes shoot to yours, his face tinting rouge from one ear to the other. 

“And you are a remarkable lady, Peggy,” he clears his throat, his mind seemingly wandering elsewhere. “You remind me of a girl a friend of mine was in love with once.”

“Then he must have been the happiest man to ever live.”

Peggy’s hands tremble when she reaches for her cup of tea, her red lipstick taint the white porcelain as James watches her movements with a soft stare. He looks so protective of her, it makes your insides tingle. “He truly is, though he seems like he has forgotten about it lately. Is this your husband?” He gestures to Howard, who just slams the newspaper down in front of him, blank eyes staring at James while Peggy laughs and waves her hand dismissively. 

“This rascal?” She presses her hand to her chest as she tries to calm down. “No, dear. My husband died a long tome ago.” She smiles warmly, floating in melancholy when she continues, “I never loved another man since. He was a heaven sent. Strong, kind, always worked towards the greater good... and his looks were to die for, too.” She winks and James chuckles. 

“Oh I wish a love like that to everyone. Promise me something, James.” 

“Anything.”

“If your find it, never let it go.” Her hand clasps around his biceps, her tone a motherly sternness laced with affection. 

James eyes you again and it feels as if the air is shifting with tension. “My word is in God’s name, Peggy.”

❁ ❁ ❁

James feels the repercussions of his being on earth stronger every day. In heaven, he was miserable because he had to watch you live your life without him. On earth, he’s in agony because he knows, if he ever were to touch you, he would cease to exist.

It’s slanted. He gave up everything coming here and despite the fact that his wings stopped working the second he fell from the sky, he categorizes the uncertainty eating away at him as even worse. Hanging in limbo is more troubling than actually going to hell, he is sure of it. 

He watches you move about your house with the same longing look torturing his features since he realized how much he needed you. It’s laughable how dependent on you he has become. While you go about your life with the minor change of having a roommate, James despises the unforgeable distance heaven has created between you. 

You are friendly with him - you are friendly with everyone. James would even go as far as to say that you two are friends by now. But he wants so much more. So much more he cant tell you because even if you did know about his feelings, there is nothing either of you could do about it. 

James sighs standing from the sofa, ducking his head when he passes through the doorway to you. You never questions when he just follows you around. The soul bond probably keeping the curiosity at bay if it feels anything like his experience. It feels good for no explicit reason. 

You sort some bowls in your cabinet as he stands behind you, offering to place the ones higher up so you don’t have to struggle too much. “What’s heaven like, James?” You ask innocently through your movements. “Are there pearly gates and fluffy clouds?”

James loves when you say his name. It makes him feel closer to you than ever before. In a way, he equates it with your touch. Just as his saying your name is his way of reaching out to you. 

“More like endless paperwork and celestial coffee breaks.” Coffee breaks. He learned about those a while ago and he loves the concept. “But hey, the views are to die for.” He gets lost in your eyes, remembering how much more distant they felt when he was watching from above and he is thankful to be this close to you now.

You smile smugly, and thats when the heart race sets in again. He’s sure you feel it too. Because your eyes avert and your hand places itself atop your chest. 

You think something is wrong with you, he just knows it. It’s like the time you watched hours on hours of Gray’s Anatomy and then proceeded to research yourself into a frenzy about the sicknesses you might suffer. But James made sure then that there was not even a paper cut compromising you and he will do the same now, too.

He is desperate to tell you what it is you feel, that there is not much you can do and that he feels it ten times worse because he hates to see you suffer. But he needs to be careful about how much he reveals to you. 

“Oh my god, I’m getting paranoid,” you mutter to yourself and James smirks at your small slip up. He has noticed how you try to minimize your references in curses. It’s cute, really, because he knows how much you used to do it. It’s a little bit amusing, the small deviant trait of yours making him feel like he has found something in common with you and he’s almost proud of it.

You collect yourself, quickly, breathing in deeply and then turning around to him. “I have to run some errands today.” 

“Great, where are we going?” James asks with eagerness. Car rides excite him. He has always found them fascinating, but actually being in one is a whole new experience. 

You bite your lip and for once, James does not feel the familiar tingle in his stomach when you do so. There is sadness sitting in your eyes when you answer him. “Actually...” Your tongue darts out to wet your lip just for your teeth to dig into it again and an unfamiliar tightness travels through James’s body. “It is something I need to do by myself today. I hope that is okay.”

The angel nods vigorously, trying to ignore the pang in his chest. “Yes of course. I will leave you to it alone.” He steadies himself on the door frame and then heads to the living room where he grabs a book and settles on your window sill to look occupied. 

“It is nothing personal, James.” Your head dips from the doorway and he looks up. “It's just... it would be weird for you to be there.”

“I understand.” The way he adds your name to his answer makes him sick. But his body is feeling weird, not showing him the familiar signs of jealousy or anger he knows. It feels... warm and uncomfortable. 

“I will be back soon.” Your voice travels through the hallway and your footsteps along with it. James stares at the empty doorway for a while, his eyes shooting down to the book when you suddenly reappear. “Do you want anything from the store?”

“No, thank you.”

“Okay.”

And then the door falls shut. But before James can get consumed by his loneliness, he puts the books down - something about an ice breaker - and heads outside to follow you. 

❁ ❁ ❁

But earth can be a lonely place. At least hell will welcome you with warmth.

❁ ❁ ❁

You didn’t lie. You were at the store. But now that you’re treading on the small path towards the grey cemetery walls, James feels the fear spread through his body like a slow and painful death. 

He’s hiding behind the trees closing around the park, watching you as you halt before a simple headstone. He can feel your mourning deep within his heart, tugging, yanking, pulling on the tiny strings that sting so effectively. His temple leans against the rough bark as his eyes trace your slow movements. You place a small bouquet of flowers on the soil before the engraved letters, resting your forehead on the gold stone. 

He can’t see it completely, but he knows you’re crying. You always do. Everything within him screams to reach out to you, to hold you and sway you until the world feels less taunting, but he knows how difficult it could make things. 

So, instead, he remains hidden, a silent sentinel in the shadows bearing witness to your sorrow from afar. He feels the weight of your tears as if they were his own, each drop a dagger to his soul and a reminder of the distance that separates him from you. 

And yet, even in the midst of your pain, there is a flicker of something else - resilience, determination, a quiet strength that refuses to be extinguished. It’s a testament to your spirit, a beacon of hope in the darkness that threatens to consume you both. 

As you linger before the headstone, lost in your memories and your grief, James feels a surge of admiration swell within him. Despite the pain you carry, you continue to preserve. 

“It’s really a shame you never have the balls to comfort her.” A voice whispers in his ear and James shoots around to be met with a redhead whose eyes stare daringly up at him. “Then again... I guess it would be kind of ironic, don’t you think?” 

“What are you doing here, Wanda?” All angels are made weary of Lucifer’s spawn. They are vicious and manipulating, carrying the pits of hell to places that least expect them and watch it all go up in flames as they stand laughing on the sidelines. 

James knows the demon standing before him. More than once have their paths crossed throughout time, but he is surprised to see her every time anew. He refuses to show any sign of weakness in her presence, knowing that to do so would only invite further manipulation.

Wanda chuckles darkly, her laughter echoing through the trees. “Oh, nothing much,” she muses with a wicked grin, pacing around James to take a closer look at him. “Just though I’d remind you of what you’re missing out on by playing the good little guardian angel. But who knows... maybe one of these days, you’ll finally grow a spine and take what you want.”

James clenches his jaw, struggling to maintain his composure in the face of Wanda’s relentless provocation. He knows better than to let her under his skin, but the demon’s words cut deep, striking at the heart of his insecurities. He feels the surge of frustration rising within him as his fists clench by his sides, the weight of his silver cuffs pressing against his wrists like chains. “I can’t,” he whispers, his voice barely above a whisper. “You know I can’t”

Wanda’s gaze narrows as her arms cross in front of her chest. “Can’t or won’t?” She counters, her voice tingling with an unspoken dare. 

James hesitates, his mind racing with conflicting thoughts and emotions. "I... I don't know," he admits finally. "But it doesn't matter. My duty lies with heaven, with protecting her. I can’t do that when I’m lost in the in-between.”

Wanda's eyes glitter with amusement as she takes a step closer, closing the distance between them with an unnerving grace. "And what if heaven isn't where you belong?" she whispers in a seductive purr as her fingers flick against his cuffs. The sound travels through the trees, making you turn and look around you. "What if your heart longs for something more, something... forbidden?"

A shiver runs down his spine, a sudden realization dawning within James. For so long, he has clung to the safety of his celestial duties, fearing the consequences of straying from the path laid out before him. But now, as he stands face to face with the embodiment of temptation itself again, he can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, heaven is not the place where he can truly flourish. 

“I don’t trust you, Wanda.” He admits genuinely, though the possibility of her words holding truth gnaws on his very soul.

“You shouldn’t.” She smirks devilishly, eyes flashing in a short glimmer of red and evil. “There will be consequences to disobeying celestial rules. But you will never find out if a life free of them would be more fulfilling to you if you don’t try.” She winks, setting uncertainty free within him. “Find me when you have made the right choice.”

As he watches Wanda disappear into the shadows, leaving him alone with his thoughts, James knows that he is standing at a crossroads—one that would determine the course of his destiny for eternity. And though the path ahead is uncertain and fraught with peril, he can't help but feel a glimmer of hope stir within him, a whisper of possibility that promises a future filled with love, and happiness, and the chance to finally be as close to you as he has always wished for.

❁ ❁ ❁

The night has broken over your small town by now. James has made it back with a conflicted heart before you came home from your errands. He knows you notice his silence as he normally enjoys to talk a lot to you. But you don’t say anything. 

He is just sitting quietly in the kitchen as he watches you make a cup of tea, wondering what it tastes like right before frowning at how scared he is to try a cup of hot water just because he doesn’t know what it would do to him. 

Wanda’s words come back to the forefront of his mind and the unease she instilled within his heart right alongside it. He has been longing to reach out to you for so long, has wanted to touch and comfort you in so many ways his mind began to spin. Especially after days like this, when you went to visit your brother’s grave. You would be crying yourself to sleep tonight. And you would get up tomorrow, wipe the sorrow from your eyes and continue to live your life as if nothing happened. Because you are strong and resilient. 

And James, even though he is finally present, is not able to offer you the solace you so desperately deserve. 

At least he thought so.

His eyes wander to the silver cuffs around his arms, feeling the weight and letting the subtle clink of them seep into his skull. He has never questioned why or how the rules of heaven applied to him. He never even thought about the consequences of breaking them until he felt the need to protect you. He never really cared until you became the most important thing in his life. 

Now, seeing the pain in your gaze, and feeling the guilt for being here, not soothing you gnaws on him, sending him back to a state in which he would kill to see you smile again. Free of fear and sorrow. 

You bite your lip when you settle on the chair across from his. Your eyes look dull, but James can’t help but think there is a question posed within them. Something desperate and restricted. Oh, how he would love to know what you’re trying to say. He is just too inexperienced with human interaction that he can get a read on everything just yet. 

James feels his heart picking up, knowing it beats in the same rhythm as yours, but he doesn’t dare speak, knowing his voice will betray him. Your tea cup is empty, your eyes tired, and he knows that this evening with you will end within seconds. 

“Good night, James.” You finally say, following the small ritual you have established with him as you wave at him weakly. 

Normally, he says it back. Normally, he guides you to the bedroom and closes your door promising to watch over you in silence. Normally, he doesn’t have a demon’s words ringing in his ears. 

But today, something feels different. As you gather your things and head towards your bedroom, a sudden surge of determination courses through him. He can't bear the thought of being separated from you, even for a moment longer.

With a sense of reckless abandon, and the words of Wanda hanging in his mind James makes a daring decision. Ignoring the warnings echoing in his every being, he reaches out to you, his touch barely grazing your shoulder as you turn to leave.

In that fleeting moment of contact, something shifts. A spark ignites between you, a connection so powerful and undeniable that it defies explanation. Time seems to slow as you both freeze, caught in the throes of a bond that transcends the boundaries of heaven and earth.

For a heartbeat, everything hangs in the balance, the air crackling with electricity. And then ...nothing happens. 

There is no rush of wind and light that makes him disappear, leaving behind only the echo of his presence lingering in the empty space between. There is nothing else welcoming him in wrath or absolute nothingness or whatever is supposed to happen if a celestial ever dared to touch a mortal.

He opens his eyes that he had shut tight without noticing. And you’re still here. In front of him, staring at his hand that is softly wrapped around your wrist. His mind is struggling to make sense of what just happened - or rather what didn’t. It was all a hoax. 

James feels rage bubble within him. And as you stand there, alone in the quiet stillness of the room, touching. He counts yet another reason why heaven was never where he belonged.

A single tear rolls down his cheek when he pulls you into his body and wraps his arm around you tightly. His heart beats violently, pumping the anger of knowing how much time he wasted not being close to you through his body. His wings follow close behind, sealing you into his warmth and creating a space just for you and him. It’s as if you are made for him. Your body tugs perfectly beneath his feathery white wings and he knows he’ll hold you like this for eternity. 

❁ ❁ ❁

He’s touching you. 

James is touching you. No, actually, he’s consuming you with his whole being, pulling you into the best hug you have ever received. His wings wrap around you protectively, engulfing you into his scent entirely. It’s earthy, and clean, and... heavenly. 

You chuckle slightly as your cheek presses to his chest, your head barely reaching his collar bone, but it just makes you feel enclosed by his presence from all around. You heart beats just as rapidly as his and you exhale in content as you realize that you’re not the only one feeling this connection. 

You don’t know what changed. Maybe you are not as good as hiding your sadness as you think you are. Or maybe there is a whole other reason behind this angel guarding you into the most loving hug you have ever experienced. But fact is, you needed it today more than ever. 

And James knew ...because he strangely knows so much about you. He feels familiar without trying and it is a weirdly comforting thing to experience. Especially after all you have been through. 

Hesitantly, and almost sorrowfully, you pull away from his warm chest. His wings loosen around you, his arms leaving just enough space for you to lean back and stare into those azure blue eyes of his. He’s beautiful up close. Long lashes frame his loving stare as his mouth tugs into a smile, taking yours right with it. 

“You touched me.” You say in awe as James’s eyebrows slightly raise. “You thought I didn’t notice, but I did.” 

There is a steak silence as his gaze travels over your face then roams his arms that are still holding you tightly close to him. “Should I not be touching you?” He asks carefully.

You can feel his hands retreating but you pull him right in before they’re gone. “I was just wondering when you would.” You snuggle back into his shirt and his hands cradle your head to him. “Is it embarrassing to say I’ve wanted you to do it for a while now?”

“Not embarrassing at all.” His chest rumbles with a chuckle. “I’ve wanted to do it even before then. I just didn’t know if I could.” The last part is a mere whisper that dissipates in your hair when his mouth presses to it in a feather light brush. 

A rush of warmth floods through you, filling every corner of your being with a sense of belonging you've never known before. Time seems to stand still, the world falling away until there is nothing left but the two of you, entwined in each other's arms.

"You've wanted to touch me?" you murmur, the words slipping out before you can stop them, a confession born of the unspoken longing that has lingered between you for far too long.

James's gaze softens, his fingers trailing gently along the curve of your cheek as he meets your eyes with a look of quiet intensity. "More than you could ever know," he replies. "But I feared the consequences.”

“What consequences?” James shakes his head as his thumb still lingers on your skin. 

“I don’t know.” You reach up to cup his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing against his cheekbones as you search his eyes again. It was stupid of you to assume he didn’t touch you because he didn’t like you. He was probably scared of what would happen if angels ever dared. The look in his deep blues tells you how worried he was. How long he withheld for the sake of dodging the unknown. 

“It’s not bad, is it?” You hand travels across his chest, feeling the muscles tense in its wake. “Touching.” 

James's breath catches in his throat, his heart pounding against his chest as he gazes down at you with a mixture of awe and reverence. And once again, you would love to know what is happening inside his brain. 

With a trembling hand, James cups your face in his palm, his touch gentle yet possessive as he leans in to press his forehead to yours. You cant help but feel that there is something keeping him from you, still. 

“Let me stay with you tonight, my beloved.” His fingers tighten around your face ever so slightly. “Let me hold you and keep you safe.”

“Safe from what?” You ask in a trance as your fingers bury in his hair and you play with the thought of pressing your lips to his. But he has taken so long to hug you. You don’t want him to be overwhelmed. 

“Anything.” He whispers back and closes his eyes. A whole new warmth consumes you when his words seep in, blanketing you in cherish and admiration. If this is what being appreciated feels like, you will fight to keep the feeling forever. 

“Okay.”

❁ ❁ ❁

Oh how much the celestials have lied. Flying is nothing compared to this. 

❁ ❁ ❁

As you bustle about the diner, taking orders and refilling coffee mugs with practiced ease, Peggy sits at her usual spot at the counter, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she watches you work.

"Something on your mind, Peggy?" you ask with a smile, setting down a plate of pancakes in front of a hungry customer.

Peggy leans in closer, her voice low and conspiratorial. "I couldn't help but notice that smile of yours, dear," she says with a knowing wink. "It's positively radiant today. Dare I say, it's almost as if you've got a secret?"

You chuckle, feeling a flush of warmth spread across your cheeks at her observation. “Hmm, I don’t know,” you reply coyly, unable to suppress the grin that tugs at the corners of your lips as you tab your finger against them. “What makes you think I’d share it with you?”

“Well, I am a loyal customer for one...” She pauses as she thinks of another point. “And I am old enough to think the secret dies with me." Peggy presses, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“Please, you know the entire town.” You laugh and Peggy waves her hand dismissively, though there is a proud smirk on her red lips. 

Before she can respond, a voice cuts through the air like a knife, sharp and tinged with bitterness. "What's all this about smiles and secrets?”

You turn to see Old Lee leaning against the counter with a grim expression. His worn-down straw hat flops over his eyes, making him look even more grumpy than usual.

"It's nothing, Stan," you reply, trying to defuse the tension with a forced smile. "Just some friendly banter."

Old Lee’s eyes narrow slightly. "Friendly banter, huh? You're squawking like a bunch of chickens in a henhouse."

Peggy rolls her eyes, clearly unimpressed by Stan's attitude. "Oh, hush up, Stan," she scolds, waving a dismissive hand in his direction. "Can't you see we're having a moment here? This is girl talk. Go and drink your tea like the grumpy old man you are.”

Old Lee shakes his head in response but wisely chooses to turn back to his drink. “We all know how the last time she came in here with a smile that big turned out.” Old Lee grumbles searching your eyes once more. “The frogs're telling me we’ll have another rain comin’ soon. You better be careful, sweetheart.”

You share a conspiratorial look with Peggy, either of you not sure wether to believe him or not. Stan is not one for sappy love stories, but he certainly hits the nail on the head with his predictions every time. His bold hint towards the last big death this town suffered glides off his tongue like a Sunday prayer and it ripples down your spine in ice-cold peaks. 

“That is in the past. Right now, I really am hoping we are talking about the charming gentleman I talked to the other week. He certainly is a sight for sore eyes.” Peggy’s eyes sparkle as Old Lee huffs into his cup.

She winks back at you and the smile returns to your lips, along with the giddy feeling you get when James is called into your mind. But before you can respond, the diner door swings open, signaling the arrival of another customer and putting an end to your conversation—for now, at least.

❁ ❁ ❁

A noise calls from the back of your house right before the sun starts its journey in the sky. You don’t wake as James tries to stir carefully with his arms still holding you tightly. He was not sleeping - he doesn’t need sleep, but he still feels groggy from the warm and comforting night being ripped away with the sound. 

It piques another time and now, James is sure, someone is trying to get inside. Within minutes he is out of bed, checking the window and then closing the door to your bedroom on his way to the back. 

He is ready to protect you at all costs, eager to show you how much you mean to him, but when he sees a touch of white beyond the window and hears the familiar rustling of feathers that accompany it, it only takes him a second to realize who has come to intrude your peace. 

Two men - angels - just as tall has James litter the kitchen once he opens the door and pulls them inside with both hands. Samuel, the one standing a little to the side, brushes his clothes off once he comes to a stand again, watching James with amusement and curiosity. “I see you haven’t changed much, James. A simple ‘hello’ would have been just fine.” He crosses his arms before his chest, his wings shaking the dowry rain from their feathers and right onto your kitchen floor. 

“Why are you here?” His eyes search those of Steven - a friend of his but also an angel ranking higher than James ever will.

“You know why we’re here.” He steps closer once he has composed himself again. “You are testing the heavens.” 

James huffs, feeling the anger rise inside him. If anything, heaven was testing him. So he goes on to ignore the blonde angel before him, willing his heart to calm at all the frustration accumulating at once. “Did you know it was a lie?” James starts instead. His voice is strained when he thinks of all the times he refrained from touching you just to keep you safe. “Just a way to keep us from initiating contact?” 

Steven doesn’t say anything and Samuel’s stare meets that of James again. Steven shows little remorse, the pride on display now more than usual. The supposed betrayal James has caused is nothing to the sting boring into his soul by the very man standing in font of him. Steven is cold, distant - when he should be a friend.

“I should have known.” James shakes his head. “Your duties have always placed higher than your friendships.”

“That is because duties are the most valuable virtue God can give.” Steven finally says and his jaw ticks angrily. 

James could never imagine being more loyal to a system placing as many restrains as heaven does. Not when he knows how good the real world can feel. How precious it is to smell flowers and hold the one you love in your arms well into the night. 

“You came here with a mission, James. And since your fall, you have done nothing but frolic throughout this place with your very own human.” Samuel is eerily still behind the broad blonde spitting one accusation after the other. But James decides not to comment on it just yet. 

“It is far more than that,” he rasps feeling the protectiveness flood his body. 

“We know. That is why you are here in the first place.” 

“What am I supposed to do, Steven?” James tries to keep his voice low, but his frustration is too great. Steven should be the one to understand better than anyone else. But he seems to have locked that part of him far away right now. “How can I amend a sin that is irreversible?!”

“Every sin can be amen-“ Steve’s eyebrows raise and Samuel’s eyes flickers from James and focuse behind him. That is when his heart beat picks up again. And as much as he loves you, he wishes with all his being that you are not standing behind him right now.

“Please, no.” He mutters and turns just to have you approach from the hallway with tired eyes. 

“What is happening? Who are you?” Your voice sounds sleepy, a hand rubbing over your face before you find yourself by James’s side.

“Angels.” He bites his lips, contemplating for a moment but deciding that you deserve to hear what is happening in your own home. A home he hopes to be part of forever. Besides, with Steven here, there is no ending this conversation without confusing you more. “They want me to abandon you.” The bitterness is evident in his tone. But he regrets it as soon as he catches the stutter in your heart.

“What?” It’s all you say, but the way you do breaks his collected facade. 

“James-“

“What do I have to loose, Steven?” his arms open wide. "They already cast me out. They took my freedom, they took it all.” His wings barely shake, just emphasizing his statement. 

Steve steps closer, causing you to slightly shove yourself behind James, his arm reaching around you, just not touching yet. ”But there is still a chance to redeem yourself.”

“What if I don’t want it?” James bites back. 

“Don’t act rash, James. Think about this.“

“I have.” Long and hard. Every night he holds you, he has enough time to do so. And he has come to the conclusion that nothing compares to having you this close to him... and only him.

“You know of the punishment placed for sinners who do not attempt to right their wrongs.” Steven is seething beneath the surface, James can tell. But he tries to stay professional. He can try all he wants. James has already made a decision. 

“What is he talking about?” Your voice takes him back to your presence. Your hands sneak around his forearm and hand, to which his body responds like a reflex. His fingers squeeze yours, his body seeks the heat of yours. Samuel looks at the interaction curiously, Steven settles for a disapproving taunt.

“I lose my wings. I lose heaven.” James explains to you, watching as your eyes open wider in shock. 

“What?” There is so much more behind your astound answer. What does this mean for us?

“James is banished from the heavens temporarily already.” Steven’s voice drips with authority, making you stiffen beside him. James hates it. And he doesn’t hate much. 

“Why?” You’re too soft for this, too fragile to take another betrayal so soon. He has just gotten started and he already feels you drifting away. Your eyes are glassy when you turn to Steven. “What could have possibly been so bad that you ended up here?” 

“You didn’t tell her?” Sam breaks his silence. The surprise is written all over his face just to be replaced by confusion when James utters his name in warning. 

“Tell me.” It seems as though his eyes switch between everyone in the room, trying to warn them all of what will happen if they take his opportunity of telling you himself.

“James is not just any angel.”

“Steve, stop it.” 

“He is your guardian angel.”

It all happens too fast. A look to Samuel tells him there is no ending this. Steven won’t stop until he has tried his all to have you turn from James. 

“And he committed the worst sin of them all.” You look shocked and expectant. The grip on James’s hands grows tighter with every syllable leaving Steven’s mouth. And James is silently cursing the angel in front of him “He killed a man... for you.” 

You stumble back and James catches you only to earn a warning glare from Steven and Samuel. 

“Brock,” you whisper and it sounds like the single word has taken the entire air out of your system.

Lighting brightens your house over the stifled morning gleam and thunder sounds dangerously in the distance. You’re flinching, though searching James’s eyes as he steadies you back on your feet. 

“You cant do this forever, James.”

“And what if I try?” He turns fully. “What if I would rather get myself killed than come back to heaven?”

“He wouldn’t” Steve is heaving, but Sam steps forward, Laying a hand on the blonde’s shoulder in an attempt to soothe his rage. “The soul bond affects her just as it does him.”

“What does that mean?” It’s barely a screech when you interrupt them again. Turning to James and tugging at his shirt, you convey the frustration of being kept in the dark through your features. “What does it mean, James?”

He sighs, shaking his head and then closing his eyes - hoping to escape this conversation. But it is happening. “It means, if I die... you will die, too. A soul need replace that of a guardian one.”

At this point, James questions his sanity. How could he have not realized the twisted ways of the celestial realm sooner? In an attempt to soothe both his aching head and your tired soul, he reaches out to pull you into a hug, but your hands swat his arms away.

James recoils as if struck, the sting of rejection shattering his heart into thousands of pieces

“You might think it wise to revisit what we offered you, James.”

The words hang in the air like a dark omen when Steven and Samuel disappear. With a heavy heart, James turns away from you, unable to bear the weight of your disappointment any longer.

As you walk away, James is torn between the desire to comfort you and the fear of causing you further pain. But when he reaches out to touch you, once more, your tears are a silent testament to the rift that now lies between you. 

"I... I'm sorry," he stammers, his voice choked with emotion. It’s a desperate attempt to fix this, even if he does not know how.

“Go, James. Please. I need time to understand all this-”

“I can help you.”

“-alone. I want to be alone.” You swallow hard. “Leave, please.” Your tears finally spill and James despises that he is at fault of them.

“Go.”

Feeling more abandoned than ever, James leaves you to your grief, the weight of his actions weighing heavily on his soul. In that moment, he realizes that the price of his newfound freedom may be greater than he ever imagined, leaving him trapped in a prison of his own making, forever haunted by the memory of the one he could never save.

He knows there are not many ways to fix this. But he is determined to find the one that will.

❁ ❁ ❁

He doesn’t remember earth to be quite this cold. 

Find me when you have made the right choice. The words keep ringing in his head. 

A little warmth would feel nice now.

❁ ❁ ❁

You were angry when you told James to leave. Angry, and hurt, and confused, and shocked, and fucking tired of it all. 

But now that he is gone, an unfamiliar emptiness has taken its place where your tingles used to be. Everything makes so much sense now. The weirdly familiar feeling. The sense of security around him - a total stranger at the time, who obviously possessed more strength than you could ever imagine. The instant pull from his heart to yours. 

The quiet of your house seems to close in on you. The walls feel tighter, the rooms emptier. Every corner holds a memory of James, a reminder of the presence that had once filled your life with warmth and mystery. His laugh echoing in the hallway, his silhouette framed in the morning light through the kitchen window, the way he seemed to know when you needed comfort before you even realized it yourself.

You sit at the table, staring at your untouched cup of coffee, replaying moments in your mind. The time he effortlessly carried your groceries when you insisted you could manage alone. The nights he stayed up with you, talking about everything and nothing, his voice soothing and familiar. The way he looked at you, as if you were the center of his universe.

The days seem endless without him. Simple tasks feel monumental in the absence of his reassuring presence. You find yourself hesitating before making decisions, second-guessing your choices, yearning for the silent support he always provided. The realization hits you: you had built your life around him, around the safety and stability he brought, even without knowing the full truth of who he was.

You cannot deny that a big part of you misses him despite all the lies he told you. Well, not lies entirely. You know he has always been truthful to you ...he just never told the whole truth until he was forced to.

And even though the other two angels who visited made him reveal his secrets to you, you feel like there is so much more to discover still. 

Your hand settles over your heart, trying to pull the constant racing around James back into existence. But it beats in profound silence, acting as though nothing has happened, when - in fact - everything has changed. James came into your life and unapologetically took your heart away. You don’t want it back. You want him back. Heart or not, your souls are connected. And now that he is gone, you know what you have truly been missing all this time. 

With a sigh, you rise form your chair and grab your keys, determined to find a way to help James out of the trouble he has caused because of you. A shiver runs down your spine at the memories of it all. James’s sin had good intentions, you know this much. But two people died at the time of it - though only one deserves your mourning. 

You pull your door closed and make your way to town hall. The entire left wing of the building is dedicated to the library and you are destined to find out more about the man who crashed into your life and took your heart away... and then disappeared. 

The library is quiet, the soft rustling of pages and the occasional whisper the only sounds that break the stillness. You approach the counter, where a librarian is meticulously organizing a stack of book. She looks up as you approach, her kind eyes lighting up with curiosity. 

“Hello, dear,” she says warmly. How can I help you today?”

You hesitate for a moment but then you decide to just start at the beginning. “I’m looking for some texts about angels,” you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper. “More specifically fallen angels... and the consequences of disobeying.”

The librarian raises an eyebrow and a look close to amusement and happiness reaches over her face. “That’s a rather specific topic,” she muses and your brow begins to sweat. Maybe this was a stupid idea. The woman is still eyeing you with a smolder, but then, as if you pushed a button, she shrugges and begins to type away on her computer. “Good thing it’s my job to get you exactly what you need.”

She nods slowly after a little while. “We do have some old texts and legends about angels. Let me show you.” With that, she lifts her body out of the office chair behind the desk and leads you to the far end of the library. It’s a quiet corner where the oldest books are kept. She pulls an ancient-looking leather-bound volume from a high shelf. For the place it has been kept, it is surprisingly dust-free. 

With a smile, she hands it to you and then wishes you ‘happy hunting’.

The book is heavy in your hands. The front is embossed in golden letters. Your fingers trace over it, feeling every ridge and dip. ‘Legends of the Divine and Fallen’, the title reads. 

When you flip through the pages, the book’s well-worn smell engulfs you and something inside you shifts. You brother loved old books. The one in your hand brings you right back to when you were kids. Pietro had a whole wall of shelves filled with his favorite stories. And more so than often, you snuck inside when he was out with his friends, grabbing one whose cover intrigued you the most and then getting lost in the pages until he came back and read it to you. 

He sparked your interest in reading - made you the bookworm you are today. And finally, probably caused you to jump into this adventure with James in hopes of finally living inside on of your fantasy worlds. 

You eyes get caught by a story in the book, your thumbs halting and fully opening the page as intrigue tingles in your entire body with every word you read. 

The Tale of Buchariel: The Curious Angel

In the celestial realms, where light and harmony prevail, there existed an angel named Buchariel. Renowned for his loyalty and dedication, Buchariel was also marked by an insatiable curiosity. His yearning to understand the world beyond the heavenly gates set him apart from his brethren, who were content to serve without question.

One fateful day, driven by an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, Buchariel descended to the mortal realm without divine permission. His eyes beheld the beauty and chaos of humanity, the joys and sorrows that defined their existence. It was in this realm, teeming with life and temptation, that Buchariel's fate took a dark turn.

As Buchariel wandered the earth, a demon of cunning and allure took notice of the angel's presence. This demon, skilled in the art of seduction, approached Buchariel with promises of forbidden knowledge and experiences that no celestial being had ever known. Blinded by his curiosity, Buchariel succumbed to the demon's temptations, engaging in acts that defied the sacred laws of the heavens.

Word of Buchariel's fall reached the celestial realm, and the angels were dispatched to retrieve their wayward brother. They arrived in time to save Buchariel from complete corruption, pulling him from the demon's grasp and returning him to the realm of light. However, the consequences of his actions could not be undone.

The celestial court declared Buchariel's punishment. He was stripped of his rank and given an ultimatum: he could return to heaven only if he vowed never to betray the divine will again. God, in His infinite mercy, offered Buchariel a chance at redemption. He was to serve as a guardian angel, watching over humanity and guiding them towards righteousness. In this duty, he could be close to the world, yet stay obedient to heaven. 

Buchariel accepted his fate, grateful for the opportunity to make amends. Yet, the legend speaks of the angel's perpetual struggle. Constantly exposed to the allure of the mortal world, Buchariel walked a fine line between duty and desire. His heart, once pure and untainted, now carried the scars of his past transgressions.

Eons passed, and Buchariel's vigilance never wavered, but neither did the temptations. His soul remained in perpetual conflict, torn between his heavenly duty and the memories of earthly sensations. The legend warns that Buchariel's fall could occur once more, for the battle within him is eternal. He is an angel forever on the edge of sin, a guardian who knows the weight of temptation, and a being who understands the cost of free will.

Thus, the tale of Buchariel serves as both a caution and a beacon. It reminds all who hear it of the delicate balance between obedience and desire, and the endless journey towards redemption that even the most divine must undertake.

A chill runs down your spine as you realize the parallels between the legend and James. The delicate balance between obedience and desire - serving and sinning. James did sin again. When he killed the man who ended your brother’s life. 

You sit in silence, the weight of your realization settling over you like a shroud. It’s clear that Jame’s story resembles that of Buchariel in too many ways to be a coincidence. He was weirdly comfortable on earth, now that you think about it. For Christ's sake he even told you he had met God ‘under rather unfortunate circumstances’. If what the legend says is true, unfortunate is the understatement of the century. Now you cant help but wonder what price he might pay for his defiance.

❁ ❁ ❁

The diner hums with its usual activity, the clatter of dishes and the murmur of conversations fill the air. You move mechanically from table to table, refilling coffee cups and taking orders, but your mind is elsewhere, clouded with thoughts of James and the emptiness his absence has left behind.

Peggy, sitting at her usual spot at the counter, watches you with concern etched on her face. She waits until you pass by her with the coffee pot before speaking up.

"What's happened to that smile of yours, dear?" Peggy asks, her voice soft and maternal. "You used to light up this place."

You force a smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "Just tired, Peggy. You know how it is."

Peggy's eyes narrow, not buying your excuse for a second. "Tired, my foot. Something's bothering you. You can talk to me, you know."

Before you can respond, Scott chimes in with a smirk. "At least now I know you’re back to normal," he says, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Thought you were gonna float away with all that grinning you were doing."

You shoot Scott a glare, feeling a mix of irritation and sadness. "Thanks, Scott. Really helpful."

“Always at your service” He tips his nonexistent hat, almost bringing a chuckle up within you. In his own way, he never faisl to cheer you up a little.

Peggy waves a dismissive hand at Scott and turns her full attention back to you. "Don't mind him, honey.” She leans in closer, her expression softening. "But seriously, what's going on? I haven't seen you this down in a while."

You sigh, the weight of your emotions pressing down on you. "It's complicated, Peggy. Someone important to me... well, they're not around anymore. And it's just... hard."

Peggy reaches out and pats your hand gently. “We all miss Pietro, dear. Losing someone is never easy... especially after all you’ve been through.”

You nod, grateful for her kindness, but the ache in your chest remains. You can't bring yourself to tell her it’s not your brother you are mourning at this time. "I appreciate that."

The hustle and bustle of the diner continues around you, but for a brief moment, you feel a small measure of comfort in Peggy's concern.

As you turn to refill another customer's coffee, Peggy's words linger in your mind. Maybe opening up a bit more wouldn't be such a bad idea. Maybe, just maybe, sharing the burden could help ease the pain of James's absence, even if only a little. But who should you talk to? The only person you were every really close with is gone...

❁ ❁ ❁

Yet another day passes in which you worry yourself tired. The house feels emptier than ever, the silence pressing in on you as you move through the rooms like a ghost. You try to distract yourself with chores and routines, but your thoughts always circle back to James. Wondering if he’s safe or thinking about you.

You sink into the worn armchair by the window, your favorite spot to watch the world outside. But tonight, the familiar view brings no comfort. The sky is a dark canvas, the stars hidden behind thick clouds. You hug your knees to your chest, feeling the loneliness wrap around you like a suffocating blanket as Old Lee’s words echo in your mind once again. 

A quiet sob calls into the empty room - barely audible. And then the tears start falling down your face in constant streams. The memory of his touch, his warmth, his presence, feels like a distant dream. You close your eyes, trying to recall the feeling of James's arms around you, the sound of his heartbeat against yours. It's a comfort and a torment all at once.

You haven’t cried like this since Pietro died... No, actually, you did when the message of Brock’s death reached you. But those were tears of relief rather than pain. 

A sudden chill sweeps through the room, at the memory of the man who tormented your life in more ways than one. You open your eyes, frowning as you notice that it’s not only the thought of Brock making you feel this way. The air seems to crackle with an otherworldly energy. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, and you feel a strange pull, a familiar yet eerie sensation that makes your heart race.

You stand up slowly, your breath hitching in your throat. The room feels alive with a palpable tension, as if the very fabric of reality is shifting. You turn around, your eyes scanning the dimly lit space.

And then you see him.

❁ ❁ ❁

James stands before you, his presence both startling and comforting, he notes as your herts sync again. His eyes meet yours, filled with a mix of relief and sorrow. You look as if you've been through a storm, yet there is a resolute strength in your gaze that anchors him. He probably doesn’t look much better, considering he in fact has been in said storm. But he’d do anything to come back to you. 

"James," you breathe, your voice trembling with emotion. "You're here.”

He steps forward, closing the distance between you. "I’m here," he says softly, his voice carrying the weight of all the unspoken words and unshared moments.

You reach out, your hand trembling as it touches his cheek, as if verifying that he is real and not another figment of your imagination. Your skin is cold and the sensation sends a flood of emotions through him.

"Where have you been?" you ask, your voice cracking with the weight of your worry.

“It is a long story," he replies, his hand covering yours. "But right now, all that matters is that I'm here. With you.”

In that moment, the world outside fades away, and all that exists is the space between you and James. The silence is filled with unspoken promises and the electric charge of a reunion long overdue. 

When you fall into his arms crying, his knees feel like giving out. He has had a long journey behind him, but he would die before showing you weakness when you need him the most. “I thought I would never see you again!” You cry even harder and James wraps his arms around you with loving pressure.

“I’m here,” he tries to soothe you. His wings come around you once again in search for the calmness that washes over him when he realizes you feel safe. 

“I don’t think I can do without you anymore.” Your voice is muffled against his chest but his heart leaps at your confession. Warmth spreads throughout his body as the realization hits that you finally feel close to the emotions he has harbored for you for so long. 

James wants to promise you that he’ll never leave again. He wants to tell you that there is nothing worth losing you. Not the most tempting offer to ever exist. He wants to hold you forever, in fact, do more than just hold you and give into the feeling he has only ever heard about from demons and sinners. 

But he can’t. Because he knows it would not be true. 

His feud with heaven is far from over. And the journey he plans to venture holds great unknown. So, he settles for the one thing he can tell you with certainty. 

“I cannot be without you, either, my beloved. There is so much I want to experience with you but the most important of them all is love. I love you, with my entire soul and heart. I cannot deny you this truth any longer. I have done the unspeakable because of it and you deserve to know.”

You eyes look up at him widely, a question in them that has waited long enough to be asked. “Brock’s death wasn’t an accident,” you whisper, but your posture remains steady. There is no pain or sorrow in your face. Just pure, plain curiosity.

“They told me he was mugged and thrown in the river. But it never made sense to me.” You pull a little out of his touch and James lets you even though his entire body screams to keep you close. “This town is too small to be mugged in. He was killed with a single stab to his heart. A mugger would never be so efficient.”

You gleam at him, seemingly waiting for him to confirm. But James stands in your presence with a sense of pride. He does not regret is transgression, not when it meant keeping you safe - which was and still is his greatest aim. 

“The way he was found was too peaceful to be from a robbery, either.” You tell him shaking your head. “How can you make a murder look so respectful and honest?” 

“I am sorry if I have upset you, dearest-“

“You haven’t. Brock Rumlow was a bad man. It took me a long time to notice, but he was abusing and ill-driven. If anything, I am upset I couldn’t thank you sooner that he is gone.”

“I had played with the though of removing him from the face of the earth for quite some time,” James confesses, feeling all the secret’s weight rolling off him like avalanches. “From the moment he first screamed at you... to the time he laid his hands on you. But I knew you were strong. I was so proud of you for getting up each day and moving on. I would have never acted had he not hurt you in a way even i could feel throught the very bond that ties our souls together. I knew you could handle the hurtful words, even the hurtful touches - that no-one, and especially not you, deserves. Your brother is of similar cunning as myself. But he was brave enough to act while I was fearing the consequences of testing celestial rule once more.” 

James catches the new tears rushing down your cheeks. But he wont stop telling you. He knows you need to hear it. It hurts him to revisit the memory of watching Pietro die in his quest to secure your freedom. “I was trying to honor you brother as much as ensure your safety when I... killed Brock.” He clears his throat and takes your hands in his. “He would have continued to hurt every person he encountered. I do not regret what I did.”

“Oh, James.” Your hands reach up to his face. James bows down to follow the tug you apply to his jaw. “Thank you for telling me. I am not angry. And despite what the other angels said, I know you are a good person. I love you, too.” 

You smile as James’s hands cover yours on his face. Your foreheads are touching and the room around you fades into nothingness. In this moment in time, there are just you and him, and all the new feeling bubbling inside him that he his eager to explore. 

He’s known it for long, but now he is certain than going back to heaven was never an option. Not when you are still here. 

“I would love to kiss you right now,” you whisper in the space between you, igniting a heat within James he has never felt before.

“I would like that very much,” he confesses and as soon as the words leave his lips, yours are firmly pressed against his. 

The sensation is overwhelming. Your lips are soft and warm, moving against his in a way that sends shivers down his spine. His hands still press yours to his skin, unsure what to do and overwhelmed with the experience opened to him. You gently take them and move then to your waist, then a little lower, making him trace the curve of your body as your tongue slowly slips between his lips. The contact sends a surge of electricity through him, making his heart race.

The kiss is tentative at first, each of you exploring this new and wondrous connection. Your fingers weave into his hair, anchoring yourself to him as if afraid he might vanish with this daring protest against heaven. He can feel the gentle tremor in your touch, the same mixture of awe and desire that he feels within himself.

You pull back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. Your breath mingles with his, cheeks heated and lips swollen. “Move your hands, James,” you whisper, guiding his hands to slide even lower on your body, teaching him how to hold you close, even though he thought he has always done so right. This is different. This is more.

He follows your lead, fingers trembling with the intensity of the moment as they squeeze flesh, eliciting a soft whimper from you that makes James’s insides stir. Or maybe it is not his insides after all, he notices when his pants feel tighter all of a sudden. 

Each brush of your lips against his, each caress, speaks of the longing and love that has been building between you for so long. James deepens the kiss, more confident now, feeling the warmth of your body against his, and it’s as if the world outside has ceased to exist.

Your thumb brushes over his cheek, and you smile, voice breathless. “You’re doing great.”

The kiss becomes more fervent, your guidance helping James navigate this new territory. He feels like he’s pouring all his love and devotion into this one act, wanting to convey everything he’s never been able to say. His wings reach round you tentatively, leaving enough air for you to breathe. He want’s to be wrapped up in you more - he cannot explain it.

James pulls back slightly, his breath coming in shallow gasps. “This... this is incredible,” he murmurs in a voice husky with wonder. “I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

You smile, eyes sparkling. “Neither have I.”

Your lips find each other again, more urgent this time, as if you’re making up for lost time - at least James is. The demon who lured him down the first time failed to mention this part of humanity to him.

“I want to show you more,” you finally whisper against his skin and at this point, James is willing to walk the sun if you asked him to. 

“Everything,” he rasps, his lips touching you with every syllable. He cannot get enough of your taste. “Show it all to me, my love.”

“I want to start with taking off our clothes.” You kiss him again, making Jame’s pants feel even tighter. He knows about sex and he knows it is what you are hinting at. But he has never experienced it. It is no use to angels, since they cannot impregnate another. In heaven, it is rarely talked about - and if it is, one is warned about it. 

Right now, James does not care why. He is eager to experience as much as there is on earth with you and then some. So, he lets you guide his hands over your shoulders, shrugging your cardigan off your body and letting his fingers glide beneath the thin straps adorning your shoulders now. 

His hands are so big compared to yours. He marvels in the fact of how much stronger he is, making him able to protect you that much better. 

James has no difficulty guiding the clothes from your body. Nakedness is something barely acknowledged where he comes from. But today... something about it feels different. This situation feels so much more intimate than it usually does. And he notices, when you kneel down to pull his pants down, his cock stands proud from his body, bigger than usual, and hard and- “Oh!” sensitive, he notes when your lips kiss his hip, your face slightly grazing his member in the action. 

With your head next to it, it looks disproportionately huge, but you don’t seem to mind. 

“This... I have never done this before.” James’s hands guide you back up to him. He is certain his cheeks are glowing red by now. He feels hot and bothered, yet so yearning for more of the teasing your face provided for mere seconds before. 

“Are you okay with continuing?” Your eyes find his again. 

“Yes.”

“Okay, good.” And when he nods, you take his hand and lead him down the hall to your bedroom. 

He has missed this place, missed holding you for the time he went away, but he can't tell you where he has been just yet. Not now, anyway. Right now, he wants to experience whatever you are willing to show him. 

You walk around him, touching him all over, watching him react and making him lean down only to pull back before his lips can get a taste of yours again. It’s beautiful agony and James is torn between pulling you into his strong grip and letting you wind him up until his balls feel like they are the ones squeezed tightly. They already are...

Eventually, you come to a stop behind him. He jolts when you fingers drive over the top of his wings, only for you to mumble a quick ‘sorry’ and coming back around in front of him. 

“Don’t be sorry. I was just not expecting it.”

You stare past him and at the white feathers protruding from his back. “They are so soft... and pretty.” You find his eyes. “All of you is pretty.”

He reaches for your face, finding pride in the way you nestle into his palm with a smile. “And dear, you are the most beautiful being the world has ever seen.”

“Can I touch them again?” You whisper only for James to now stare in awe. 

He watches as your hands pass his body in slow-motion. They travel past his ribs and reach carefully towards his wings again. This time, he is prepared, though his stomach feels tight with something opposite of worry. More of a physical feeling he can't begin to explain. He closes his eyes and lets your touch travel over them like a prayer. Your path leaves shivers in its wake and James lets his head hang, reveling in the feeling. He opens his eyes and watches his cock twitch whenever the tingles get too much. 

He gasps breathlessly when you graze the underside of his wings, making his whole body jump slightly. 

“Oh, are those sensitive?” You smile in awe, though your expression turns to excitement when he wheezes out his answer. 

“Very.”

“Do you like it?” 

Your fingers glide over the same spot again, making his cock leak, feeling like he’s about to explode. “Yes!” He grabs the sideboard next to him.

“I want to make you feel good, James” your voice is damp agains this ear and he bites his tongue before bursting. 

“You already do.” 

“I want to make it even better.”

James is not sure he can handle better. He’s already floating miles above the ground when you touch him in the ways you do. Maybe he has to distract himself to enjoy this some more. 

He could think about why heaven would withhold education of how amazing sex can be. That will make him calm a little, posting yet another reason why it was never the place to be for him. 

Your hands wrap around his silver wrists as you guide him to the bed, pushing down on his shoulders until he is sat on the mattress, looking up at you with intrigue and awe. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to ride you, James.” You straddle his lap and his arms immediately reach around you. 

“Ride ...me? I’m not a horse.” He states and watches as your smile lights up. But it settles a weary feeling in his stomach. There is a hint of mischief in your glint, and James is not sure he can handle it right now. 

“Do you trust me?”

“With my entire soul.”

You kiss him and push at his chest. “The lie back for me.”

And so he does, realizing - once again - that anything heaven could offer him pales in comparison to the love he feels for you, a love that knows no bounds or logic and that is reciprocated in your every touch. 

James watches as you scoot up his body until you are sat right behind his cock, which has not ceased to soften one bit since you kissed. It reaches all the way to your navel. But before he can take in the sight and calculate the size difference between you, you press him against your stomach, pulling another moan from his lunges. 

His tip is leaking more and more with every touch you gift him and James starts to worry his body will give out before he can make you feel good. 

“You’re so big, so pretty.” You stroke him from base to top, letting your thumb press into the underside of his cock and send shiver after shiver through James’s body. “I need you inside me.”

“I need that to.” His voice is strangled when you lift up and grind his tip through your wet folds, moaning with the friction he can only assume is the same for you as it is for him. 

In a swift motion, the head of his cock sinks inside you, breaching tight muscle and making him feel dizzy with the new sensation. Your head falls back with a loud breath that makes his abs tighten. This whole time, he feels as though a gust of wind could make him unravel, but something inside him tells James he should hold out - or at least try to. 

The raspy sounds escaping his throat cant seem to stop when you slowly work yourself all the way down his shaft. And the high-pitched scream you set free when his tip reaches another barrier within you makes him twitch and leak even more. 

“Are you alright?” He asks through sweaty brows. 

“I’m amazing.” You smile and lift yourself up only to sink back down into his lap. Your movements become steady, and when he finally gets over the way your mouth hangs slack, the rhythm you set builds even more pressure inside him. 

The room is filled with messy sounds of skin and sweat and moans and heavy breaths. You sink down on him again and again until James feels like he is on fire. But you don’t relent. Your pace never falters when you fall back and your hands grip his thighs, digging into his muscles until his toes curl. 

It’s too much at once and not enough at the same time. James feels as though there is a cliff he could fall over every second now, but he’s too scared to loose the sensations he is experiencing right now to let his body do so. 

“Touch me,” you suddenly say, taking his hands which have fisted inside your duvet until now and placing them on the soft flesh of your breasts. Only now, your nipples are hardened when you guide his fingers over them. “Like this.” You’re somehow fare gone and right there with him. But he does as he his told again, flicking his thumb over the pebbled flesh until your moans grow higher and higher. “Ah, Yes!”

It’s doing something to him, he his twitching every time your pussy squeezes him in tandem with his thumb on your nipples. His body is moving without the permission of his mind when he suddenly thrusts up. And then again. And again. Until you are mewling and crying on top of him, your fingernails digging into his legs painfully hard. 

James immediately drops his hands only to watch you stare at him with wide eyes. 

“What’s the matter. Why did you stop?”

He bites his lips in shame when he realizes he misses your constant movement on his cock. “Am I hurting you?”

You eyes possibly widen further. Leaning forward and capturing his cheeks with both lips and hands, you shake your head after you pull away. “No! No, its a good thing, love. You feel so good. You...” Your expression changes to a rather shy one. “You’re just very big. You should be proud.”

Something inside James clicks as you confess with another kiss to his lips. A smirk spreads beneath them when he curiously thrusts up inside you and experiences your hot breath gains his face. 

In a second, his hands grab onto your hips, his body turns and flips the pair of you until your back hits the mattress as gently as he can offer in his compromised position. 

A last look of reassurance when your eyes lock with his set off the urges he has suppressed so far. His hips snap forward over and over again, your pussy tightening more around him with every push. Your hands are fist into the covers, head thrown back and mouth open. There is no more sound coming from you at this point. And James understands why. He is as overwhelmed with the feeling as you look. When you grow even tighter, gripping this cock until he cannot move anymore, white pleasure as hot as hellfire rushes through his body, kissing his nerves from head to toe. He feels his balls empty as he paints your inside with his spent, only being able to lazily rut into you after a minute to seize every last drop of pleasure this moment has to offer. 

Then he falls forward as if a higher force has taken all the strength from his body, though careful not to hurt you when his weight settles on top of you. 

“What-“ he needs to catch his breath first. “What was that?”

“That,” you open your eyes, chest having with every deep breath, “was an orgasm.” Your hands brush through his hair and James finds himself purring at the touch. “And it was the best one I’ve ever had.” 

You kiss him and chuckle when he looks at you questioningly. “I guess you could say it was outer-worldly... or even heavenly.” 

James rolls his eyes but can’t stop the laugh from slipping his lunges. He pulls back and watches as his softened cock leaves your pussy, only to be followed by your mixed arousal dripping out of you. 

Trance-like, his hand moves to collect the fluid and begins to smear it over your petals, up into the soft tuft above it. He knows angels cannot impregnate other beings, but he is fascinated by the scene in front of him. It’s like a little testimony when he marks you all around the best place he has ever experienced, wordlessly rubbing and enjoying the whimpering sounds you make when he flicks over a particular spot. 

“Is this sensitive?” He teases with a smirk only to be met with a playful smack on his arm. 

“Very.” you say. “But I am entirely satisfied as of right now.”

James sighs and falls into the sheets beside you. “Me too.” He nuzzles into your neck and pulls you closer to his body. He does not care that you are sticky with sweat or that neither of you are cleaned up. He just needs to hold you now that reality has taken its place back around him again. 

“So, you have been watching over me for - what? All my life?”

James hides the chuckle bubbling up his throat at your sudden question. He still has his eyes closed, taking in the feeling of your nails lightly scratching up and down his forearms. It makes him tingly. 

“All your life, yes.”

“And have you ever meddled with other things that were supposed to happen to me?”

“Do you remember the year in which you kept finding pineapples in arbitrary places?”

It’s silent for a moment, but your movements don’t falter. “I always thought that was a weird coincidence.”

James smiles into the crook of your neck. “Consider it my way of adding a little excitement to your life. And maybe a small attempt to make you notice me.”

You push yourself up slightly and rest on your elbows as you look at James. “I like you like this.” You smile.

“Like what?” He’s smiling as well.”

“Less angel, more...” Your hand comes up to gesture at nothing in particular. “...deviant.”

The smile on James’s face turns into a proud grin before he leans up to kiss you tenderly, savoring the moment and pushing away the thought that has been gnawing on him ever since he came back. 

He holds you until you fall asleep, purposefully missing the opportunity to tell you what he has gotten himself into while he was away.

❁ ❁ ❁

James stands in the garden, the sky overcast and heavy with the promise of rain. He’s out here to retrieve a bouquet of your favorite flowers, smiling like a fool because he finally has what he always wished for. All his mishaps and seem worth it when he holds you in his arms at night. 

The flowers are vibrant and alive, and he bends to pick them with a sense of purpose, each blossom a token of his affection. Even as the first raindrops start to fall, his joy is undiminished. The rain doesn’t bother him; it’s a minor inconvenience compared to the happiness he’s found with you. 

As he moves through the garden, he thinks of the moments you’ve shared—the way your eyes light up when you see him, the warmth of your touch, the sound of your laughter, the way you writhe beneath him in she sheets. For the first time in his existence, he feels complete. 

James clutches the bouquet and heads back toward the house, eager to see the surprise on your face when he presents you with the flowers.

But before he can pass the threshold, an eery feeling spreads though is soul, a shadow falls over him but vanishes just as soon. He scans the yard, his sight nestling through the trees at the very edge of it and then suddenly halting when he sees Wanda leaning against one at the very far corner of your property. Her presence is like a dark cloud on the horizon, a stark contrast to the bright joy he feels. Her red eyes glint with a knowing look, and her lips curl into a smirk that sends a chill down his spine.

“Are you not coming inside, James? The weather will only get worse.” You shout through the house only to appear behind him to inspect what is keeping him outside. 

But James’s stare is fixated on the demon in your yard, his protective instincts setting in immediately, scanning his surroundings while keeping a close eye on Wanda. 

“What is going on?” You ask and reach your arms around him from the side. He can sense you’re eyeing him but he knows you see what he is seeing when your entire body grows rigid beside him. 

“Who is that?” you whisper into James’s shoulder as you step even closer to him, your voice barely audible over the increasing patter of rain. He squeezes you a little tighter, trying to shield you from the inevitable storm brewing. A quick look at your state tells him he should have send you inside. But It is too late for that now. 

When his head turns back into the direction of the demon, it is no longer in its prior place. Instead, Wanda has moved across the garden with impeccable speed, looking up at the pair of you a few feet alway from the step leading to your porch. 

“You promised me time to explore the likes of this life.” His voice is low and intimidating, though he knows its futile in the face of a demon. They are scared of very little. 

“And explored you have,” her red hair falls over her shoulder when her head ticks to the side. “Tell me, Bucharius, is it worth the cost?”

The demon knows of the leverage it has on him. James was sure he would follow through with his request from the start. But he forgot, or maybe just hoped, the devil’s spawn would gift him more time until he had to go and seal the contract. 

“You know it is,” he pushes though clenched teeth, hating how your fingers clamp around his arm already. 

“Actually, I don’t. But I would be an idiot to refuse an offer such as yours.” Wanda clasps her long fingers together and grins with evil. “Oh, I will have so much fun with your soul once the time comes.”

The angel closes his eyes tightly, hating the way the demon pressures him to leave so soon. But it is for the greater good, for him at least. He need’s to be selfish for once - to be able to spend a lifetime providing whatever you desire. 

“Just give me a moment, Wanda,” James says, his voice steady despite the chaos inside his head. He knows his flicker of happiness is about to be shattered, but he wants to hold onto it for just a little longer.

“What is happening? What does she want?” There are tears brimming in your eyes and James decides he has seen them far too many times to be a good guardian to you. It just secures his decision to do what Wanda came to collect him for. 

James presses his lips to the crown of your head before gently tilting it upward with his fingers. His gaze is steady, exuding a confidence while you desperately cling to him in your confusion.

“I’m not sure I can handle all this newfound angelic drama,” you mutter with unease, and James kisses you—short and sweet, a fleeting moment of peace.

Then he whispers against your lips, “Please, you handle drama like a queen. Remember that time you dealt with Valentina from accounting?” His attempt at humor brings a small smile to your face, and he momentarily loses himself in the warmth and security it provides.

But the feeling doesn’t last long.

“James has made a deal with the devil,” Wanda grins, her red eyes flashing with malevolent glee.

Her words send shivers over your body, James feels the ripples pass beneath his fingertips. You pull away from your guardian angel, whose troubles have now escalated to an unthinkable level. 

“What does she mean, James?”

❁ ❁ ❁

James’s silence is deafening. You pray, you beg, for this to be a terrible joke, but deep down, you know it’s not.

“James.” Your words are strained, desperate for answers, desperate for reassurance. “What is she talking about?”

“It is true,” James finally admits, his eyes free of sorrow but filled with determination. “I have made a deal with Lucifer. My wings for a mortal life. My soul when it leaves my deceased body after spending a lifetime with you.”

“What?” The word is a whisper, your mind struggling to process the gravity of his confession. Because your cheeks feel salty and stained before you realize what James has just told you. “Why are you doing this?” you ask through your tears.

“Because I’d give up heaven if it meant being with you.” James’s eyes burn into yours, the rain dripping off his wet face deceivingly. His voice is steady, unwavering. “I’d go to hell a thousand times over until my soul burns to ashes if it meant I get to hold you one more time. You’re everything to me. Everything.”

Another wave of shivers slip over your skin with the way he presses the last word. His eyes are fiery, almost desperate. He is trying to make you understand how much better this decision is, but you fail to see how it can. “You can’t do this. You are destined for more. There are many more to come after me that need protecting and watching over.”

“And there have been plenty before you, yet none of them have or will ever compare, my love.” He touches your cheek, but you push his hand away. Your heart is already aching when you watch his face fall at the gesture. But you are not made for these types of dilemmas. You are human for fuck’s sake. “I would spend eternity regretting not experiencing life with you. I am tired of watching; I am over feeling the distance between us. Going back to heaven means finding you someone else to love. And I cannot do that. It would destroy me, burn me alive, rip my heart out of my chest.”

“James, think about this.” Now the first angry tear slips from his face and mixes with he rain which has grown heavier. Dark clouds cast over the scene, matching the mood perfectly. Dreary and sad - how poetic. 

“I have. For far too long. I will never feel truly fulfilled until I can be what you need me to be: a real, tangible person that grows old with you.”

You shake your head, your hair sticking to your skin. “You have to believe me when I tell you that I exist only for you. My life was dull before you entered it, and it will feel like a black hole when you leave. There is nothing—nothing—I wouldn’t do to be with you.”

Never before have words felt more genuine than this. James is hunched forward, his eyes pleading at you from above. A sneaky hand has captured yours and presses it to his chest, where his heart is beating vigorously against your skin. 

Resignation laces your voice when you finally answer him. “So you’re just going to leave now? For how long? What if he tricked you?”

You don’t know  much about all the rules but one thing is for sure, the devil likes to play and deceive. Just the thought of James walking into a trap makes your stomach churn. 

“Then it was worth it.” There is something akin to content and fulfillment in Jame’s stare when his hand squeezes yours and his heartbeat slows. Though your’s seems to do the opposite. 

“No.” You say breathlessly. 

“I’m sorry," he answers, and wraps your fingers around the bouquet in his hands.

“James.”

“I love you.”

“James.”

The rain intensifies, pounding the earth as if mirroring the turmoil in your heart. James turns and lets Wanda put him in chains, leading him away. You fall to your knees, crying, the three words you have yet to say hanging on your lips for nobody to hear. He’s gone. He’s gone without the knowledge of ever seeing you again.

❁ ❁ ❁

And just like that it ends like it began: in tragedy… and rain.

❁ ❁ ❁

Maybe you are just not cut out for happiness, you think as you wipe down the counter with a frown. The sun is shining today, almost mocking your bad mood with every chirping of birds outside. Earlier today, you were so angry about the reflection blinding you inside that you shut the blinds completely. 

James has been gone for a week now and you already feel like breaking down over what you’ve lost whenever something is mentioned that reminds you of him. 

A few days ago, after a really rough night, you swore you’d never let anyone this close to you. It’s the perfect start for you villain origin story, really. Losing your brother to an abusive ex. Losing said abusive ex thanks to a protective angel. Then falling in love with the angel only for him to go to hell for loving you back. 

You heart cannot take another hit. It’s constantly breaking as you think about the torture and pain James is probably suffering in the pits of hell. There is just no more room for another person, another worry, or anything else, really. 

You will just die an old and groggy lady, likely still cleaning this very counter until you cant anymore. The whole town is going to know you as the weird woman with seventy two cats.

You shake at the thought of it, disposing of your towel and grabbings some plates from the counter to clean up some more.

“New customer is yours, freaking weirdo has been standing outside the window and looking inside like some kind of stalker,” Scott mumbles as he paces by you with his head buried in his phone screen. 

You just sigh and throw a used napkin into the trash before loading the dirty plates onto a kitchen tray. 

“I’d like a sandwich, please.” A voice sounds from behind you and your entire body goes rigid.

It can’t be. It cant. For days you have been wishing for James to come back, now you are finally becoming crazy. 

But your heart picks up its familiar sprint and your entire body tingles with hope. Still, you don’t dare to turn around. 

“Are you not going to look at me, dearest?”

Your hands tremble as you grip the edge of the counter. What if it’s real? What if it’s not? The uncertainty gnaws at you, each second stretching into an eternity. You’ve dreamed of this moment, but dreams are fickle things, easily shattered by the harsh light of reality.

“James...” The name slips out in a whisper, a plea, a hope. Tears sting your eyes, and you squeeze them shut, bracing yourself for the worst.

You take a deep breath and finally turn around. Truly, there he stands in front of you, with a bright and gleaming grin on his lips. There is one thing you notice immediately: the silver cuffs on his arms are gone. And he looks oddly free without them.

Almost trance-like, you round the counter, your had reaches out to him, touching his jaw, gliding down the length of his neck until your fingertips disappear into the soft curls in the back of it. 

“Is it really you?” You whisper in awe as you start to drown in the familiar blue of his eyes. And when James covers your hand with his, squeezing his reassuring sequence to your bones, you know. It’s real. 

“In the ...flesh.” he frowns but then smiles widely. 

“What happened when you were gone?” Your curiosity gets the better of you, but James just shakes his head and then turns his face to kiss the inside of your wrist. 

“Not here, love. Take me home... if you’ll have me. Take me back. I promise no more secrets from now on.”

You just nod vigorously, finally pulling James into your embrace. The worry raging inside you fades into insignificance, eclipsed by the certainty that in this moment, you’ve regained something intently more powerful - a bond that defies explanation, but feels undeniably perfect. 

“I will always choose you over anything else, James.” You nuzzle into his chest as you ravel in the warmth of his body and the security of his touch. His heart is singing the same song as yours and his head hangs low atop yours, pressing meaningful kisses to your hairline between every stroke of his hand on your back. 

The diner around you might as well not exist. All that matters is this connection between you - the bond that defies the boundaries of heaven and earth. 

“But tell me one thing,” you whisper into his shirt and James moves to better hear your low voice. 

“I will tell you anything,” he presses into another kiss on your face, still holding you close. 

“Are you... did the-“ you’re not sure how to assemble the questions inside your mind without being bold. But James seems to know exactly what it is you want to say. 

He takes both his hands from around you and guides your face to his until his warm lips press a meaningful kiss to yours. “Yes,” he murmurs softly, yet steadily, conveying just enough seriousness to let you know how important and truthful his answer is. “I did what I promised. I am yours until the end of my life, and even beyond, my soul will be seeking yours for eternity. But until then, we will grow old together and finally be what we were meant to.”

His lips latch onto yours a second time and as the kiss deepens, a sense of completeness washes over you. In James’s arms, you find the solace and passion you have been yearning for, a promise of love that transcends all else. 

“I can’t begin to tell you how much it means to me.” You smile back between kisses.

James pulls you even closer, his voice a gentle murmur against your lips. “We have a lifetime to show each other.”

And in that moment, surrounded by the echoes of a bustling diner and the warmth of his embrace, you know that no matter the trials ahead, this love will endure, defying all boundaries and transcending every limit. 

❁ ❁ ❁

Because at last, there’s noting more freeing than falling itself.

Lord, can we take a second and appreciate these images???!! Got me on my knees - and not for praying, I'll tell you this much...

Hello, loves. As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read my work. I hope you had fun! Maybe... juuuust maybe if you want to, you could leave a comment or reblog on this post. New fics will be on hiatus until August, I have some real life work to finish. But please feel free to interact and talk to me. I love hearing from you! Take care, and ill talk to you as soon as I can. ~Meg 💗

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[avianyuh]

S.Coups/Choi Seungcheol as a boyfriend

He would be so much fun

I think he'd love to go out to different restaurants with you

Or take you to the studio and have you hear his lyrics

Maybe even take you to the gym with him lol

You'd be Kkuma's other parent

Most likely, you'd watch over Kkuma while he was away on tour

Anyways, Cheol would be so protective over you

He's like that with the boys, so imagine being his partner

You ARE his baby

Somebody messed with you?

You will frequently be hearing, "Do I have to make a visit to someone?"

You're cold?

"Take my jacket! Do you want me to look for a nearby store, I'll buy you a new one?"

"No Cheol, I'm fine"

"No I really will, I'm ordering one right now for next time"

This man!

Most likely, he'd introduce you to either Jeonghan, Shua or Woozi first.

Reason I say Woozi is becuase they've known each other for so long, I'm sure he values Woozi's opinion

But with Seungcheol, I don't think he needs his members opinion when it comes to you

Mainly because he'd only introduce you to the members if he was serious about you

So I see him confiding in those three in the early stages of your relationship, not really when he's sure of you

When you're in the car, he drives with one hand, so his other hand is placed on your thigh

UGH

It's so hot

And no this is not made up, I have photo evidence that this man drives with one hand

Shexy Shtuff

Defo the type to 'wait it out' lmao

He wouldn't want you to feel used or anything

So during the first year, even if YOU wanted to have sex, he'd probably be like, "Uh, let's just wait"

I think he'd want to fully get to know you first

But when he feels like you're completely committed to him and vice versa

It's all free real estate

GIRL-

Woo

He's a switch

I said what I said

Yeah, he's a total daddy dom

But I think Seungcheol would like to be taken care of sometimes

Probably more submissive when he's tired but still in the mood for sex

And like I said, once he's committed, free real estate

This man will come home horny

Constantly ready to go

Especially after the gym when he's all sweaty

You jump him every time he comes home from the gym

Back to regularly scheduled programming:

He wants kids, and loves to talk about your future

How many kids you want

When you should start your family

One of his favorites things to do in your relationship is lay in bed, your head on his chest, him caressing your hair, staring up at the ceiling

And just talking about the future

What you both want in life

It's his way of making your relationship feel like you're still in the honeymoon phase.

Anyways...

Cheol would be a committed man to you

Gives the sweetest kisses

The type to kiss you all over your face when he sees you

Hypes you up with everything you do

Awkward and adroable

Choi Seungcheol,

SVT's dad

Your daddy ;)

~~~

{A/N; I told y'all I would write the coups headcanon. I literally cried watching him give the acceptance speech at MAMA lol, he looks like he's recovering well! BTW, if you have any requests, plz send them in, it seems like I only get BTS requests? Funny cuz I used to only get NCT requests and now it's completely switched. I kinda miss my NCT requests lol, if you have anything you want plz send it in! I've also been writing for some second gen idols (not published yet)

second gen idol fics are lacking on tumblr for some reason?...but that's another story

Anyways hope you enjoyed, mwah💋}

[pseudophan]

different anon but similar feels, also also how do those stuck up people think dnp got where they are? Like do you have any idea how many phuckin millions they've made out of us being unhinged and cringy like I don't go to their fuckin house but I damn well bought the t shirt and read the rpf and drew the whiskers and watched them get more and more famous and like make ALOT of money and attention off us. And that's ok! It happened! We've all come out the other side, literally in most cases

yeah no people reallllly don't like to admit that the shipping and unhinged phandom behaviour played a major part in getting dan and phil to where they are today. it seems like there's this idea that if shipping had anything to do with it that means their content and dnp as people didn't which is just? stupid? several things can be true at the same time. dan and phil make good and engaging content that people love AND all the shipping gave them a boost and helped with people sticking around for as long as a lot of us have. it's not even that the shipping itself is the main contributor (though it is a big part) but everyone snooping into their personal lives desperate for "phan proof" by default strengthened the parasocial bond we have with them and it's that parasocial behaviour that really keeps people around. and dan and phil are so extremely aware of this, they always have been. they are willing to play into their audience's insanity because it's hugely beneficial to their careers. that isn't to say that's the only reason, they're very good at telling us to fuck off if we do cross a line, plus it's evident they find it amusing, but you're incredibly naive if you think dan and phil aren't aware of how much they're benefitting from our fujoshi tendencies lmao. and that's fine! it's good even. it's very much a win/win situation. we get to be unhinged within reason and they get to profit off that within reason

the 'within reason' part is also important though. a lot of creators have tried to mimic that success but they often go too far, they play into it too much and try to capitalise off every single aspect of their relationship and make the audience a little too involved. and then they break up, naturally. dan and phil work cause they put their relationship first and preserve their privacy, while still letting us in Just enough to make us stick around. which again isn't saying no one would stick around without the shipping that would be absurd, but the casual viewer to unhinged stan account ratio would be very different lol

all these things also apply to the fact that they're two conventionally attractive men. definitely not the sole reason they're popular, but it is a contributing factor, and it's kinda silly to pretend otherwise. especially with the amount of thirsting i have to endure on a daily basis good fucking lord you people are annoying. carry on though i suppose, live your truth, i'll live. maybe.

[genericpuff]

The LO TV show isn't happening, and here's why.

Now, before I begin, courtesy to /u/Princess_Space_Goose because they're one of the driving forces behind these observations concerning stuff in the entertainment sector and they were the first ones to make a comprehensive post about it over on reddit shortly after we got into it in the Discord and compiled everything we knew. But I also REALLY wanna talk about this and I'm surprised to see I haven't yet. They've covered reddit, so I'm covering Tumblr LMAO

Disclaimer: Long post ahead. Much of what I say below is speculation but there's a lot of damning evidence to support it. Take it with grains of salt.

Rachel has vague-posted about the show a couple times over the past few years, but very sparingly so, always stating that it's "in the works" without anything to actually show for it. This would have been fine back in 2020 or even 2021 (the pandemic did bring a lot of television/movie development to a crawl) but we're over halfway through 2023 now.

So where's the show? Who's running it? What is it gonna look like? Which streaming service is it going to be hosted on?

We literally do not know any definitive answers to these questions because nothing has been revealed and at this point in the game, that's basically a death sentence. LO has been on a noticeable decline in stats over the past year, while we obviously can't access the backend numbers (and neither can Rachel as far as I know because WT guards them with an iron fist which is a whole other topic for discussion) it's still very clear by the comic's rating slowly but surely dropping and the like count average lowering (obv the like count isn't indicative of view count but if the ratio has remained the same, that means if the like count lowers, the viewership is likely lowering too). There's also been certain behavior from WT over the past year that hints at the comic not doing well, such as its VERY aggressive ad campaigning which often undercuts other series on the platform that are far better than LO and deserve the spotlight, but lose it anyways because WT just wants to keep its golden goose on life support even after its heart has stopped beating.

So the fact that we don't know the answers to these questions still after 4 years is NOT good. We don't know anything and while that was excusable 3 years ago, at this point, it's more indicative of the project being at a standstill or dropped completely, and what we dug up and discussed in the ULO Discord (and what was later posted to reddit) proves it with some very telling information dissected from LinkedIn and other sources.

So far, the only people we know connected to this project are Rachel Smythe (the creator of LO) and Stephanie K Smith (the appointed showrunner). Showrunners are the lifeblood of television series, remember this. Here's a little bit about her:

Lore Olympus still doesn't have a network, this means it has no definitive spot to air, which is not good at this point, because the network is what primarily funds these projects. Think of "Netflix shows" - they're not necessarily made by Netflix, they're made by studios that Netflix funds and as such they're given the Netflix branding because Netflix is their proprietary distribution network and benefactor. So LO has no network or streaming service funding its production. All of her other credited works have affiliated networks/distributors, but LO doesn't.

"But what about Jim Henson Company?" Jim Henson Company bought the rights to LO in 2019 to produce it, that doesn't necessarily mean they were onboard to fund the entire project. Again, these studios need networks to back them, not just for monetary purposes, but with the promise that their project will have a place to go when it's finished, whether it's Netflix, HBO, etc. Think of it like a movie theater - the movie theaters aren't the ones making the movies, but they have deals with the studios to air those movies with the agreement that both sides will be making money.

Jim Henson Company is a production studio, not a network. Not only that, but they're primarily for-hire for puppetry/animatronic projects, they're not the same kind of studio as, say, Laika, or Disney, or Warner Bros. Much of their work is done on the backend, creating animatronics and puppets for kids' productions, monster movies, etc. Currently they're working as the animatronic designers for Five Nights at Freddy's, but that movie isn't a JHC movie, it's a Blumhouse production, which has hired JHC to create animatronics for them.

So, the fact that they were the ones to buy out LO for production rights is... very odd. Because for starters, they don't tend to buy out production rights like major studios, they're typically for hire, but they're also not an animation studio. Any animation projects they've worked on were for concept art and design, such as Word Party, but the folks at JHC primarily specialize in conceptualization and practical effects. That's their whole shtick, it's what they're selling, it's what they get hired for.

That's all early stuff though, stuff we've been speculating on for ages. What came to light recently that spurred on this whole essay was discovering this one section on Stephanie K's LinkedIn:

There are a couple things we can glean from this. First, we know this has to be LO even if it isn't being named, because LO is the only one that was bought by JHC.

This also confirms that LO did end up with a distribution network, specifically HBO Max.

But it also confirms that Stephanie K Smith, the showrunner, is no longer on the project, either due to willingly quitting or being removed. According to the time stamps, she left in April of this year.

This is especially not good because without a showrunner, there's no leader. Showrunners are essential to these projects. So without a showrunner, and without any sort of announcement of a replacement, LO's television show is a ship without a captain, a car without a driver, a Hell's Kitchen without a Gordon Ramsay.

There's mention of an "animated presentation" but as mentioned in that reddit post above, that's not necessarily a pilot, it's more likely it was this. Which can't even really be called "animation", it's just video editing, rigging and tweening, but I digress.

There's a lot more in that reddit thread that dives into some of the details of Stephanie K's stuff, including the HBO Max affiliation and how that potentially connects to the Sydney Sweeney trailer, but ultimately, all of these breadcrumbs add up to one of two things:

LO's television show is in severe development hell which it likely will not come out of for quite some time, especially right now with both the writer's strike and streaming services gutting their animation connections.

LO's show isn't happening at all but with LO's numbers declining and its audience growing more fed up with the series (look no further than the comments on Instagram about LO's recent Eisner win, people are PISSED) Rachel and WT are trying to do as much damage control as possible by dangling a carrot in front of the audience they have left in the hopes that they'll stick around long enough on the promise of a TV show happening to keep siphoning cash and views. After all, there are two things many readers are still sticking around for - the SA plotline, and the TV show, and both of those things are being unnecessarily dragged out in the vaguest way possible with no real resolution in sight.

Neither of these are good, but I think what's even more telling is that, since that post was made on reddit, Rachel has attended SDCC and taken part in a new interview from Girl Wonder Podcast, and when asked about the show, all she had to say was this:

"Um, it’s been really interesting. It’s been educational for me. So, what I—what has been done so far is beautiful. Like, if I could share it, I would. But I can’t. Because it’s very naughty."

IDK if the "naughty" bit is referring to the show or just her revealing info about it, but the fact that NOTHING was shown at SDCC is just. Y'all, I'm sorry, but the show is not happening. If you're gonna show off previews for television ANYWHERE, it's SDCC. It's like the E3 of comics and entertainment media. So the fact that she's STILL VAGUE-POSTING ABOUT IT EVEN AT A MAJOR EVENT WHERE IT'S COMMONPLACE TO REVEAL TRAILERS AND PREVIEWS OF NEW PROJECTS, like... it's just not happening. Jim Henson Company bought the rights to produce LO as a TV show in the summer of 2019. Since then, we haven't seen a SHRED of news, if you google "Lore Olympus TV show" it'll still be the same 2-3 articles from 2019 talking about JHC buying the rights and that's it. If you do further sleuthing, all you'll find is Rachel saying "yeah it's still happening but I can't say anything!" which means fucking nothing at this point. The only 'hope' I have left is that they'll announce it at NYCC which has Rachel in a top billing spot in its advertising, but I'm really not holding my breath at this point.

Animated productions take a while, sure, but LO wasn't the only comic bought for TV production in that late 2010's/early 2020's era. Heartstopper was bought in 2019, and it made it to Netflix by April 2022. And it was live action, a medium SEVERELY affected by the pandemic, unlike animation, which wasn't affected as much because a lot of animation development can be done from home. What did affect the animation sector was streaming services like Netflix gutting their connections to animation studios and putting animated projects on the chopping block... which also doesn't bode well for LO.

It's 2023 now and we still don't even have anything beyond those initial announcement articles and Rachel making empty promises. It's not happening. Don't fall for the "it's coming soon but I can't say anything" nonsense. It's far less genuine now than it was 3 years ago and it has nothing to support those claims that it's actually in development, and ironically far more to support mere speculation that she's lying or doing damage control.

And, if it actually is happening, on a shred of belief in that being a possibility, then it sure as shit isn't being marketed well. Knowing how to build hype in a product is an entire course of knowledge. Marvel is practically the king of building hype, they're why people sit until the very end of the credits now in the hopes of seeing an after-credit scene, even in movies that aren't made by them. LO's numbers are bleeding right now, so to not show anything at even the major events like SDCC is a blatant misfire. Almost like there isn't anything to show in the first place.

You can take all of this evidence as you will. Some of it you may dismiss as "overthinking" or whatever have you. And a lot of it is speculation based on the crumbs we've picked up along the way.

But let me pose you this as a final thought: how can it be a good sign when everything being asked about the show, by fans and critics alike, comes down to "Is the show still happening?"

The best time to reveal proof of the LO television show was 3 years ago. The second best time is now.

[worlds-oldest-teenager]

I’m interested. How do Apollo and Artemis’s desire to protect each other drive a wedge between them?

I'm glad you askeddd. Thank you for being my first anon ever btw. (@crowmakeska-boom idk if you are the anon but anon, whoever you are, sorry for the wait). This is probably not a very good meta cause it's mostly vibes, gut feelings and filling in the blanks with below the bare minimum of textual evidence but oh well. 

First I'd like to talk about why I think Artemis and Apollo's relationship is kind of distant. They're a confusing duo. When you first meet them in the titan's curse it may seem they don't like each other much or atleast Artemis seems to not be paticularly fond of her brother. Calling him “irresponsible”, “lazy”, “big headed”. But reading between the lines reveals how much the two of them care for each other, especially on Apollo's part from all the illegal help he was dishing out to the questers.

But then when you read some more, their relationship just feels a tad too distant to completely take what they say as just banter. When we see them on Delos in Blood of Olympus the distance is literal. They're recycling banter that's getting old and you can tell that even if it had been lighthearted before, it’s definitely getting on both their nerves now (stolen from fsinger lmao). They’ve both been playing the part for a long time but it feels like they don’t have the closeness anymore to recognize they’re both just playing parts. 

So what happened?

I think it's their need to protect each other that's causing this rift between them. From my point of view Artemis & Apollo are protecting each other from different things but Olympus is at the core of it for the both of them.

The twins have a very different experience of Olympus. Since her introduction Artemis seems pretty critical of Olympus. According to the hunters she's the only one who can get the ball rolling during solstice meetings and she's shown to not really act the Olympian way. Taking the sky off the shoulders of a mortal girl. Shrinking herself down to make the human heroes feel more comfortable and demanding they get rewarded.

It wouldn't be far fetched to assume that she's never fit in with Olympus and doesn't agree with most of the views of her family.

Then there's Apollo.

Who fits in so perfectly with the messed up inner workings of Olympus or so people think. He's perfected his mask over the years and no one is the wiser about the abuse he's gone through or even the fact that this isn't actually who he is.

To me, Artemis wants to protect Apollo from Olympus' true nature. In her head she's got every part of Olympus figured out and for the most part she has. Even if it's not something that works for her I think she would want to protect her younger brother from knowing what the kind of people he surrounds himself with are truly like.

I feel like Artemis would be conflicted on it for other reasons too because if Apollo is aware of the kind of people the Olympians are and he's alright with that, what kind of god is Apollo?

So she'd much rather think of him as stupid and irresponsible cause those atleast mean that it isn't he isn't a bad person. But I feel deep down she doesn't really believe completely that what she knows of her brother is correct.

But then she sees the way Zeus loves Apollo and cares for him and in her mind it's the right decision to let him live this way. He is safer now than they ever were as children.

Apollo on the other hand wants to conceal their father's true nature from Artemis. We know that he cares deeply about appearing fine on the surface because of how others would worry and who would worry more than his older sister.

Artemis and Apollo may be the protectors of youth but the first ever youth they protected were each other. It's the foundation of their relationship and caries on into the present day. Both of them feel a desperate need to protect each other.

I would go so far as to say that this is THE relationship they have with each other. The both of them never find comfort in each other, only protection. You can tell that comfort is not something they usually derive from each other from the way they're both completely blindsided by simple things like an "I love you" , a hug and just concern in general.

Comfort from each other is not a priority for them no matter how much they crave it. The twins purpose to each other is to protect.

So of course Apollo would never tell Artemis about the way Zeus hurts him.

I also think there's a little bit of denial on Artemis' part on just how abusive Zeus is. Cause Apollo is dropping hints. Even the way Artemis talks during Blood of Olympus makes it clear that she understands Zeus is gonna massacre the guy. She just doesn't want to believe it will be permanent.

And it's got a lot to do with the fact that she wants to protect him. Because if she acknowledges this isn't a situation Apollo is gonna come out from unscathed that means that she's incapable of protecting him. That means that she's failed to protect him before and cannot protect him again.

So she'd much rather pretend that Zeus is persuadable and not that bad. That it's Apollo's fault Zeus comes down so hard on him and if he were a little better and a bit more like her he could be safe.

And this would hurt Apollo because Artemis can pinpoint exactly what Zeus is like. But instead of comforting him she confirms for him that this is his fault. That if he could be better none of this would happen. Artemis helps prevent but never helps heal because helping her brother heal means he was in a position to be hurt in the first place.

All this mess and miscommunication and disbelief stemming from the fact that they love each other and never want to see each other hurt creates an impossible distance between them.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly but surely they're trying to comfort/ seek comfort instead of just protect each other.

I wept on my sister’s shoulder. I felt like if I let go of Artemis, I would fall back into Chaos. Huge parts of my identity would shake loose, and I would never be able to find all the puzzle pieces. “Whoa, there.” She patted my back awkwardly. “Okay, little fella. You’re all right now. You made it.”

Apollo's trials sucked. But I'm glad it's given the twins the opportunity to bridge the gap between their relationship again.

[somesecretpie]

I've been receiving a lot of asks in my inbox that I don't want to answer because they are essentially the same and I don't wanna flood my tumble with repeat messages. So this is kind of going to be a "general answering my asks."

1.) To all the folks that told me that they liked my OCD comic and that it helped them in some way, thank you so much. I read your message and it made me very happy. I love all of you, stay strong and good luck!

2.) To all the folks asking me whether or not they have OCD and giving me a detailed list of their symptoms, I am not a mental health professional. I cannot diagnose you with any mental health condition over the internet from a little blurb of information. I would be essentially responding the same thing to each one: visit the IOCDF website for information about OCD. Try checking out this page in particular for a list of mental health conditions commonly mistaken for OCD/that share symptoms with OCD. And if you are struggling, seek professional help or talk to a counselor if you are able to. And generally, be careful with self-diagnosis. I am not against well researched self-diagnosis on principal and I think it can be very useful (especially to people that don't have a lot of money) but fear can definitely cause you to jump to conclusions (usually the worst conclusions.) I've self-diagnosed myself with brain tumors, stomach cancer, and a whole lot of other things with little evidence but my own fear. When you read these informational pages, try to do it with a clear mind. And refrain from reading them over and over. Just once or twice. Alright? Alright.

I did answer one of these asks because it seemed a bit severe and I actually did think I could say something useful that wasn't on the IOCDF website but I am not going to answer the other ones. I hope you understand.

3.) To all the folks asking me if their fictional character they have made with OCD is accurate and/or problematic and giving me detailed descriptions of them or asking permission to write a character with OCD: Lol. Lmao.

Okay but really: I appreciate your questions and want to give you a nice pat on the head for trying to write accurately about a condition that is so widely misunderstood. Sincerely, thank you. But once again, I'm gonna just refer you to the IOCDF website for more information on OCD. Because I don't want to fill up my tumblr with a bunch of these. Hope you understand.

Generally though…all of your characters seem …just fine? Yeah they all seem fine. If you feel like need permission to write a character with OCD, you have my permission. Here you go. I am handing you a pass.

The bar for writing OCD characters is so low. It’s underground. If you know what OCD even is, you’re already doing better than most writers. I guess if I can give you one peice of advice: don’t write the OCD as some kind of superpower. It doesn’t give people super detective skills or make people good at math. There is literally nothing positive about it. Characters with OCD can be badass and awesome of course, but not because of their OCD.

If you really want my specific opinion about your blorbo, you can always message me rather than sending me an anon ask. I promise I will not think you are cringe and I might even answer if I am bored.

Have a nice day!

[intermundia]

i have complicated feelings with the clone wars series. on the one part i like most of it and i think it's a pretty good way of expanding on most characters and get to know them. however, ive never liked anakin's arc of descent into the dark side. i feel like it was made too obvious (yes, im thinking about the mortis vision into the future). i also didn't like that he got violent with padme, since to me (1)

(2) the chokehold in mustafar is an important milestone, the first time he lets the dark side override his love for padmé. it's a big moment, the first time he lays hands on her, the first time she is no longer the most important thing. it does some good things, such as the deception arc ("what else has the council been hiding from me" yadda yadda), to show that anakin's disappointment and mistrust in the council is not a thing that appears in a single day, and it also shows all the different (3) ways in which palpatine has a hold on anakin and influences him, that's fine. but i didn't quite like how they turned something that was more of a "you're taking slow steps towards this direction and you're blind to it, you can't see it, and no one around you is seeing it or helping you with it either" into a "there have been multiple clues of what you'll become such as A LITERAL VADER MASK IN A VISION and you've ignored them i guess". also (4) i dont like the satine thing with obiwan, what do you MEAN you would have left the order for her you barely KNOW HER obi wan and you are the BEST JEDI EVER get outta here. never liked that. i liked her just fine, and loved their banter, just not that part of their relationship. sorry to burden you with this i send you way too many asks and tag you in too many things anyway i love you have a good day you're my favourite ao3 writer byee

yeahhhhh you've articulated a couple of my least favorite parts about TCW haha especially the clovis arc, since i agree anakin's violence was not domestic until he fell to the dark side. it was the last, most extreme, most clear evidence that vader had totally wiped away anakin and anakin's priorities, yk? satine is also so badly treated by the narrative, she could have been done so much better.

in general i just like the early seasons of the show better, like s1-4, but my frustrations with filoni are well known lmao and i think things were better when lucas was more heavily involved. he had a strong shaping influence early on and the result was a fun kids-action-adventure-genre tv with my fav star wars characters. he doesn't constantly frame the jedi order as narrative antagonists, lets put it that way haha

[sapphire-weapon]

I think people tend to ignore Leon fucking up (like with Shen May), because they have the mindset of "oh no, that's my favourite character! So he can't do anything wrong or have any flaws!" It's such a limiting way to think. I mean, I really like Leon too, but I'll openly say that he often gives me the fucking ick, lmao. The Shen May scene had me recoiling. Man's a stereotype of "that creepy guy at the bar" and he exudes that a LOT. I'm glad he was turned down. Even the characters we love need to be humbled when they're full of shit, because it's realistic and interesting. It's okay to think outside of the caveman "he good! no bad!"

Also, tacking on, because despite it being a different topic, I may as well stick to a singular ask. Jilleon is such a weird concept to me, lmao. I think for the most part it's treated pretty lightheartedly, but I'm confused because I couldn't really identify where it came from, other than that they're both attractive. I love Jill, but I don't see her reciprocating any attraction. Like, remotely. They get along fine, but I can't even see a close friendship. Maybe I'm biased though, cause I love her and as much as I enjoy Leon, dear god above he doesn't need another love interest. Also Capcom please just grow your balls and properly address Valenfield. We all know they're either a couple or have been pining for several decades.

I'm not gonna lie, if OG Leon asked me out, I'd have told him I had a boyfriend, too. Or maybe just even told him I wasn't interested in men all together. His approach is so... old-fashioned in a bad way. It's evidence that his development was arrested in 1998; he hasn't matured past that point, so he thinks that it's still a thing to just go up to a cute girl and ask for her number right after getting her name.

So like. I'm not surprised that it's pretty much exclusively early 20s and younger ppl who don't think he's trying to ask her on an actual date, because no one does that shit anymore. That was already out of fashion by the time I was in high school, even, and I entered high school in 2003.

But for any tiny childrens who are reading this: yes this is literally how relationships would start in the 80s and 90s. Out of nowhere and on a whim between complete strangers and just hoping it works.

Re: jilleon

Prior to Death Island, I would have agreed with you. 100% I didn't understand what the basis for it was, and I didn't think she'd be interested in him at all.

Then I watched Death Island. And I'm 85% sure that they've already slept together LMAO Chris dropped the ball between RE5 and DI, and Leon just kind of slid in there and took his shot and actually seems to have made it???

If I'm not mistaken, Jill is the only person other than Remake Ashley in the entire series who actually laughs at Leon's jokes. And she actually gets him to laugh out loud in return -- which is almost unheard of for him.

They just seem very comfortable around each other in general. Jill seems more at ease in his presence than she's been in Chris's since... Lost in Nightmares? And Leon is definitely more comfortable being with her than he is being with Ada or Claire. Like, Jill seems as comfy as a presence for Leon as Chris and Ashley are.

I just really like their dynamic in general. I don't think of them as romantic, but I see them as very, very good friends who just fuck every once in a while.

Like, Chris is still Leon's best friend, but their relationship is a lot more intense. But Jill is the person that Leon first thinks to call when he needs to nerd out about movies or to just bullshit in general. And then every so often, a text message conversation happens like:

"Gonna be in DC for a weekend for BSAA shit. Pick me up from the airport?"

"Sure. What hotel?"

"Staying with a friend actually idk if you know him. Leon Kennedy? In the DSO. Brown hair, blue eyes, giant cock?"

"Never heard of him. Sounds like he's in for a fun weekend though."

[delopsia]

Void seriously may be the best fic I’ve read in idk how long and I just wanted to give it some love since I saw you were bummed about it’s performance. I’ve re read it more than I like to admit tbh I love the concept so much!

This actually made me tear up a little bit, lmao. I'm so happy that you've enjoyed it 🥺💐I had a lot of fun sitting down and detailing their backstories and setting up where it could all go. There are so many pages of notes and details on how Rhett and Bob met, how they found the Reader and a whole action sequence that took place directly after Void ended, but I don't have the heart to write it. I'll give you the summary of it all💕

The events of the AU were kicked off in 2016, seven years before Void. A hole had appeared above the ocean, and the Navy was investigating what happened when someone was sent through it because cameras failed the moment they got close to it. Phoenix and Bob were the names pulled to fly the mission and were only told they would be flying through a black hole that was created by highly specialized projectors.

Instead of coming out the other side, the two were swallowed up by the hole, and for four years, nobody knew what happened to them. The Navy crafted a vague story about them going missing, gave them a funeral, and eventually, they were legally dead. Bob and Phoenix only felt like they were in the hole for a few minutes, but during that time, chunks of the "ore" that powers the hole flew by and struck them, Bob in the head and Phoenix in the chest. And though Phoenix was able to fly directly after emerging from the hole, the ore clogged an artery in her heart, and she suffered a heart attack after they landed.

They never told her family about how she turned up four years later; she was buried in an unmarked grave, and any witnesses were legally silenced. But Bob was still alive; the ore was trapped and manifesting in his head, tormenting him with violent visions, but he was as alive as ever.

What do you do when the media finds out a pilot appears from nowhere four years after going missing? You accuse him of deserting the Navy and fabricate elaborate evidence to sentence him to five years in prison for it. Because prosecuting an innocent man is easier than admitting you lied.

The thing about Bob is that he's crafty. He knew he was fucked, so he vanished from his apartment shortly before the trial, headed in the direction of his family, and then veered north, up into Montana and Wyoming. Places disconnected from technology, small towns without internet and cell reception. He found himself a small job as a ranch hand, and for a while, he was fine.

Until the visions started leading him places to an old mine, where a chunk of gold had been hidden by a miner who had long passed. They told him of the investigation that was catching his scent, helped him to know when to skip town, and what clues were setting him off.

And then it took him to the hole. Bobby didn't know it when he stepped in, but the hole took him to the exact universe that the Reader existed in. Nobody knew him here. There was nobody to hunt him because Robert Floyd quite literally did not exist. The laws were so loose here that faking an identity was easy, he sold the gold, got an apartment with the money, and took up shop working in the tech industry. Not his ideal job, but it worked.

At the same time, Rhett and Perry got into a fight in the pit bar parking lot after Rhett had suggested moving on from Rebecca. They thought Perry had killed him. And Royal, fearing the loss of both sons, took Rhett's body out to the hole in the west pasture. Rhett woke at some point in time, begging, pleading for his father to quit dragging him to the hole, but it was of no use. Because if he got away, there was no chance in hell he would ever trust Royal again, and he would surely tell the police of what Perry did.

So Royal pushed him in.

The hole spits him out on an unfamiliar sidewalk, and in his bedroom, Bob is struck with a violent vision that leads him right to that old cowboy, and he takes him in. Rhett's beat to hell, his fists are bloody, and when he recalls what happened, his hands turn pitch black.

Royal is the son of Chronus, born with the ability to create and manipulate the ore used for time travel, and Rhett inherited that ability. It simply didn't activate until he entered the hole.

Just weeks later, the Reader goes on a cabin trip with some old friends they haven't spoken to in years. They were meant to rent a different cabin, but between work and the stresses of life, the Reader forgot and unknowingly pissed off several members of the group. Those friends thought it would be funny to get back at the Reader by locking them out in the blizzard, but it was miscommunicated about who let them in, and by the time they realized the Reader was still outside, they were gone.

One friend called the police, but by morning, nobody would say who had gone missing. If they pretended not to know the person who had vanished, then maybe they could escape the legal repercussions of their actions. And those small-town police truly weren't cut out for such an investigation. They got away with it.

The Reader had wandered off into the cold, searching for help, and during their frostbitten haze, they didn't notice the hole until they fell in.

Just like with Rhett, Bobby had a vision that led them right to where the Reader had been left, on the concrete. They only meant to warm the Reader up and take them to the police, but their story was similar to Rhett's; they didn't want to recount the story anymore than they had to.

But the thing about trauma is that it bonds people. These three didn't drift apart; they stuck to one another like glue. With discovering Rhett's new powers and gradually opening up to one another, it shouldn't have been a surprise that things got warmer in that one-bedroom apartment. Shy cuddles became hesitant kisses, and kisses morphed into whispered I-love-you's.

Until the Reader was recognized in public by one of the people who locked them out, and suddenly, they were being accused of intentionally going missing and wasting police efforts.

What do you do when the law is after you? You run.

They went to Rhett's timeline, hid in small towns, stole from other timelines, and sold those things until they could afford a house in the mountains in an unnamed country. Far away from society, where nobody could find them. The house lit up with security systems, cameras, and motion detectors, fearing the day someone caught their scent once more.

But that wasn't enough. Because the Reader was angry with the people who couldn't seem to get enough of tormenting them, Rhett couldn't get over how his family protected Perry, and Bob had finally learned that Phoenix never even received a proper burial.

They crafted together evidence and anonymously sent it to Sherrif Joy's front door, damning Perry as Rhett's killer. He got sentenced. Rhett made a joke of showing up in his cell to frighten him. Forever angry about the life he lost.

They time-traveled to copy the security footage of the Reader being locked out, and they went to find and copy the documents that detailed what had been done to Bob and Phoenix.

This is where Void took place. Bob had intentionally timed their appearance to coincide with the time his old Navy friends were in the building. His every intent had been to get them on his side. But Maverick was on the side that viewed Bob as guilty, and there was no getting through.

Royal appeared because he had finally figured out that Rhett inherited his ability. He searched every timeline for him, and had every intention of hauling him back home to free Perry from his prison.

The ore in Bob's head acts like a sort of trip wire. It reacts when there is a change or a threat. So when Royal stepped into the timeline, a vision triggered. But Royal could have never expected that Rhett's ability was stronger, wilder. It manifests around his body and allows him to turn into the ore; he can move as an intelligent mist and reform at will. Where Royal can only access the hole from certain points, Rhett can open it as he pleases.

They escaped, but it left Royal in contact with Maverick and Bob's old friends. They had something in common, and an alliance of sorts was formed. Seeking justice, as they called it.

Bob, Rhett, and Reader gathered in a city and watched as a video was placed on every screen. Full of detailed documents and truths that they hoped would set the story straight. They weren't criminals. They were people who had been hurt time and time again. They were only villains because others had forced them into that corner.

It could have been perfect.

Even though it would have painted them as monsters to the people hunting them, it could have given them a chance at a normal life together of settling down and growing old. They had never done anything wrong.

But it didn't.

Those painful truths were bared to the world, and in return, they were painted to be villains who were trying to start an uprising based on falsities. They had some support, sure, but they were labeled as the enemy. Marked as wanted, dead or alive, like this was the Wild West, and they were the bank robbers.

So they ran.

They move from place to place, timelines and worlds, but Royal continues to find them. They change identities and appearances, but they never split up. Are chased through cities, Rhett opens portals as quickly as he can, carries them through hell and back. He draws more ore from Bob's head to stop the visions and fights to keep the Reader from fading back into their timeline.

It's hell, but they're together, and that's all that matters.

The ending of Void was meant to split into two. One hurts more than the other, but they're both happyish endings. Both started when Rhett found the ability to travel into his past self. The person Reading got to choose which they experienced, depending on how they wanted the story to go.

The "good" ending involved Rhett going against Bob's wishes to step into the past. He told the Reader and Bobby of what happened to them. Their persecution, what chasing vengeance and exposing the truth will do to them. In this ending, the evidence is never mailed to Sherrif Joy; Perry gets away with attempted murder, and none of them will ever see a sense of justice.

They will live their lives happily ever after, but they will never be able to forgive the people who hurt them and have to live with that knowledge forever. Sometimes people can hurt you so bad that it ruins your life, and you won't be able to do a damn thing about it. They'll never see their families again.

They make the decision to move far into the future if only to be sure that nobody will ever find them. Where their families have long since passed, and they bring flowers from the garden to their graves. It's not perfect; they hurt every day, but they have each other, and that makes them happy.

The story ends with them much older. Bobby has begun to lose a little bit of his memory, and Rhett's a misty presence more often than not, but they're together. Settled on a bench, gazing off into the sunset. There is a void left in their hearts, but at least it did not overcome them.

TW for multiple major character deaths and gun violence:

The "bitter-sweet" ending involved Rhett choosing not to travel into his past self because Bob feared what kind of time conundrum that would cause. They were fine. Until Bob's eyes turned black in the middle of the kitchen, struck with a vision. But before it could take hold, a gunshot had rung out. And he just

dropped.

Royal had shot him. Point blank in the head. And he had every intent to kill again if that meant hauling Rhett back to face the law. He didn't get one word out before Rhett just...lost it.

Rage does something to people that turns them into monsters. And for that moment, Rhett was the monster. He lost control over the ability inside of him, and though Royal kept firing that gun, he didn't feel it. Rhett didn't just rip Royal apart. He ripped a hole in every timeline. Until the anger subsided, he realized Bobby's body was lost to the hole, and not only was the Reader fading out of existence, but he was bleeding out.

The Reader slipped out of existence before he took his last breath. They slowly emerged to the timeline they belonged to, and though their body is taken to court and tried for whatever charges the court could boil up, their soul isn't quite...there. They wander the Earth detached from their own being, grieving in a ghostly sort of manner, and at some point, they come to rest at Phoenix's grave.

They've only seen her in pictures, but they know it's her ghost who appears and holds out a hand. They take it, and the world fades to white.

It's in the afterlife that they hear the sound of their name being called. They don't get the slow turn, the chance to recognize the two faces looking back at them; they're already being swept off of their feet. In a big hug with their two boyfriends. Soulmates, the two lovingly refer to themselves as. Together at last; dead and alive all at the same time.

This story ends with them smiling; forever young, looking down into a courtroom from the clouds. Though they never lived to see justice served, Rhett's rage had merged the three timelines into one, and through the chaos of it all, the secrets of the Abbotts, the hole, and the Navy were revealed.

Perry escaped prison, sure, but he lived a life in social exile, for everyone knew what he had done. Royal found himself in federal prison. Nat, Reader, and Bob's families finally got to know what happened to their babies. The people who locked the Reader in the cold were prosecuted. The Navy was forced to answer for what they had done.

Finally, the record had been set straight.

They cry. They laugh. They fall into each other in a big hug. And it leaves off with the three chasing each other, racing to be the first to get one of Nat's freshly baked cookies. The void consumed them, sure, it took everything from them, but in the end, it made them whole again. They'll spend the rest of forever together.

I truly don't know how the story got so fleshed out, lmao. One moment I'm trying to weave three tragedies together, and the next, I've got the most elaborate, beautifully painful story I've ever written. Void didn't get to become the series I hoped it would be, but hey, at least I get to share what it could have been lmao.

...that last part wasn't meant to be a joke, but now that I'm re-reading it, it is too perfect to delete 💃

[nicollekidman]

THE WAY YOU BACKTRACK no its just a conspiracy people seeing antisemitism with their own eyes? abby get a grip, you apologize and then you reblog a "actually its just a conspiracy to discredit palestine" like these theories havent been around for millenia

i at no point have backtracked???? you guys have to calm down and like either read the words i’m typing or accept you’re just dying to scold me for some reason and to stop engaging. like i know a disconcerting amount of you are zionists hanging around to just randomly accuse me of antisemitism (there’s a reason i haven’t been publishing those over the last few weeks lmao) but if someone comes to me and says “what is your reaction to this stuff i’ve been seeing” and i say “idk i haven’t been seeing any of that, here is my reaction to what i HAVE been seeing” and i get like six more people saying “no actually we have been seeing this stuff and if you don’t more obviously say you don’t Love Osama Bin Laden then we’re going to assume you love antisemtism!!!” then obviously my first reaction is going to be like. well damn i didn’t realize you guys were seeing this, i better get rid of an upsetting response i made off the cuff based on different information, and apologize for upsetting anyone by the disconnect.

but then the most recent post i recently reblogged is about the VERY SPECIFIC PHENOMENON we’re all currently discussing, where overnight, a prominent grifter twitter journalist wrote about a “viral” tiktok trend where the youth are apparently “praising” a terrorist which again. from the beginning, i have said i have not seen evidence of myself (which is true!!). and if you take a second to step back and ask yourself why on earth this would happen out of nowhere and be reported on like it’s a sweeping trend taking hold of america’s youth (after like 24 hours), on a platform that for weeks i have seen literally only videos from/by young palestinians and young jewish people educating their peers and others…. then maybe those videos are not truthful and organic thoughts from real people.

idk why it’s easier to believe that a platform that has been a huge source of information for the palestinian cause in a way that zionists and other invested groups cannot control is, i cannot emphasize this enough, OVERNIGHT filled with kids who have decided after reading one letter (that has been PULLED by the website citing this specific trend!!) that they love the thoughts of osama bin laden…. rather than accepting that our disdain for both tiktok as a resource and young people as a general group makes us accept that insane idea much more easily than we normally would!!!

i think that young people are capable of rational thought! i also know that writing about tiktok as a breeding ground for concerning trends/incomprehensible viral videos is a sure fire way to get everyone up in arms in a way that i don’t accept as reality! i also know that this whole thing has probably been very concerning for jewish people who don’t want to see antisemitic bigoted hateful vile people given a platform. but what i’m saying and what that post is saying is that insofar as these videos of kids apparently being “on board” with osama exist and are being spread (again. i personally have not seen a single one, so my original post is deleted was not reacting to this type of video) are very likely being created/spread with the intent to discredit tiktok as a platform and bury legitimately educational content.

if all you take from this is that i ❤️ antisemitic conspiracies then fine, i feel like i’ve been clear and at this point engaging further feels like adding fuel to a fire i don’t have any interest in spreading. if anyone feels like im being ignorant and wants to talk to me about it im obviously always open but this particular line of questioning? ive made myself clear and im not buying into the hysteria. young people are, in larger numbers than i have ever seen in my lifetime, mobilizing in their schools and cities and local government to make their voices heard and pressure their politicians for change, every day i see extremely brave people on my tiktok both spreading information and doing their best to get educated responsibly, and my attention and energy is with those kids, not with a likely manufactured hysteria over terrorist lovers that i haven’t seen myself at any point.

[caelanglang]

ive noticed that everyone seems obsessed with fem skk and all that so allow this ask to be a breather. im gonna tell u about my newest bsd fanfic idea!!! i mean, i have other ppl to tell it to as well but they're not invested into bsd like i am. this is more or less a small passionate rant from an author so there's rlly no need to make this into one of ur inbox sketches or anything like that but i don't mind it if u do lmao

ok ok so i LOVE pretty much any humanoid creatures who primarily prey on humans (vampires, zombies, etc.) and now ive been thinking about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse au that's kinda kunikidazai based in which kunikida and dazai were separated from the rest of the ADA but still use their office as a shelter in hopes that they'll find their way back and be reunited. everything is normal up until dazai literally dies from blood loss after being attacked by zombies and kunikida, unable to simply toss his coworker's corpse into the ocean or smth even though he KNOWS he's gonna turn, decides to bring him back to their shelter and barricade him into a spare room. the next day, he wakes up to a now zombified dazai growling and scratching at the door, trying to get out. at this point, it's like a rlly good delve into his ideals and morals, and how far he'll go just to ensure that no one he cares about gets hurt/killed + it gives him a moment of irrationality in his otherwise logical mind. he should've gotten rid of his body, he should've left him behind and not have brought a massive burden on himself but he CARES!! it's evident he does even in canon in one of the light novels so i need to make more content for that.

anyways, days pass. he feeds dazai raw meat from his own rations, believing that it'll calm his friend down until he can find or make a cure for him to bring him back. and then he meets ranpo, the sole survivor of the other group of ADA members (yes, even yosano. zombies are undead and aren't close enough to death for her ability to work on but it's like a rlly fine line) ranpo, in short, is rather jaded. he lost his friends and even the person he viewed as a father figure. when he moves into the shelter in the office, he's reasonably upset by kunikida keeping what he likes to refer to as 'dazai's walking corpse' in a spare room that they could easily put to use now. they argue, ranpo says there isn't a cure and that kunikida should just let him go, kunikida asks why, and then ranpo presents The Glasses™, puts them on, then tells him the truth. there is no cure. he'd be the first to know, other than the creators themselves. once kunikida is stubborn enough to still keep good ole zombie dazai around, ranpo states that he doesn't want him eating their rations if he insists on feeding him. there is still a way to feed him, however. cut to them finding the nearest dead body and then tossing it into dazai's room and hearing him feast on it. not a good day for kunikida's values, that's for sure. oh wait hold on did i mention that i also want kunikida to make a endless supply of ammo with his notebook just in case he encounters danger (that would be cool, but he'd probably try to limit his notebook page usage)

ive also considered adding chuuya and akutagawa, as they got stranded when it happened and have been wandering around by themselves for awhile now. i feel like the cast of characters would be an interesting combination, plus they all have connections to dazai and are all upset about his current condition (to some extent). also chuuya could look at ranpo and go "you're that one punk from the agency that trapped me in a damn book!" cue him almost actually punching ranpo this time but kunikida stopping him somehow. everyone's abilities would be so good in a apocalyptic setting though. rashomon tearing into zombies long before they reach them, or for the tainted sorrow crushing hordes of them in emergency situations. great stuff

i haven't decided on the ending yet becuz there are a lot of contenders. kunikida could make a cure, or he could finally decide to deal with dazai, or they could all get zombified, or maybe he could just leave dazai stuck in that room forever while he, ranpo, and the others find a different place, becuz the ADA and PM are no more.

thank u for reading this rant btw! i enjoyed writing it

— dream

It was a wonderful read :)) Thanks for sharing this! I love love the idea of the bsd assemble set in a zombie apocalypse with their abilities intact! (manga spoilers// similar to the bram's vampirism but not induced by an ability kinda) There's so much to work with in that tbh, a lot of adventures and action and cool combos~

And I love the idea that it centers on Kunikidazai with Kunikida not wanting to leave Dazai behind ;w; I think it really fits them well. I remember reading an adorable webtoon similar to this—two best friends getting caught up in a zombie apocalypse, the main character tries to survive as a human and his best friend becomes a zombie that for some reason is not aggressive or attacking (protective bf troupe lezgooo) It's a very cute one, though I lost track of it's update TwT)) sorry if the comparison might sound offensive! It wasn't my intention, I just really like those kinds of troupes in apocalyptic settings hhhh /gen

Whatever route you choose for the plot, I'm sure it would be fun :)) I'm cheering you on for this au! I just hope you don't take the evil angst route /j

[dankovskaya]

Compassionately read moreing this yet unnamed twi'lek oc ramble I am using to avoid screaming in my house rn literally don't click on it unless you love words so so much

Anyway basically it's turning out way easier than I actually expected it to be to have this character I am conceptualizing and Maul manage to associate with each other frequently and closely during the clone wars and without it even being purely strategic and otherwise reluctant I mean. "They" definitely would have severe reservations with working together with a Sith especially when up to this point their philosophy in that regard has been "we need to cut their fucking heads off" but the clone wars overall is sort of an enworsening period for them and a "I don't actually give a fuck what the order says that much and they do not have the final say on what is and isn't morally acceptable" perspective shift era so like. If allying themselves with a FORMERRR Sith is what it takes to arrange for much needed aid on Ryloth they're going to be willing to go that far even if it requires having some part in his dumbass power plays and revenge fantasies in order for him to agree to it AND even if it ends up with them getting branded as 5x the traitor for being rumored or known to be working with Maul.

And Maul obviously has been shown to straight up not actually give a single shit about any of the actual resources that he has and what is done with them he's very practical about it and knows that it's necessary to maintain his position without feeling any sort of material greed over it all so he'd absolutely be willing to give their beloved Ryloth the support they are so desperate to find for it IN EXCHANGE for Become my apprentice. No. Become my apprentice. No. Become my apprentice. I said no. You will. No I won't kill yourself. All in due time...take part in my evil schemes. Fucking fine. But like really he so clearly believes if he finds someone else willing to Embrace the Dark and can train them up to his level he will be able to beat Sidious and take his place and overcome his humiliations once and for all that I feel like it really would not take much for him to entertain their demands and he is so borderline delusionally self assured that I just know he'd be certain that his male manipulator tactics will wear them down eventually (especially since it's not like they're outright trying to kill him or foil his plans otherwise.) Which they literally won't but like good luck telling him that.

Anyway I also not even necessarily intentionally gave them enough shit in common (and Maul is very clearly willing to at least broadly recount his tragic backstory) that even with their natural severe distrust and dislike for him I can also rationalize them having SOME sympathy in their too even if it doesn't materially change how they interact with him or anything lmao. Like not insignificant to their interactions would be the fact that they both come from a people that have been historically enslaved and were both I guess deprived of their own cultural identities by virtue of being taken away from their families as tiny babies and having no living relatives anymore (well savage might still be around at first but still) and I guess. Recent invasion of home planets? NOT that I think Maul would particularly care abt how that affects them or even like give a fraction of a shit about the nightsisters getting massacred Lmfao but I do definitely think he would lean into anything they happen to have in common with like. "Look how similar we are. Become evil NOW." intentions.

And also literally from the second they're caught even breathing in his direction its over for them there's no going back to "Jedihood" and they'd be essentially stuck with him (I mean look how crazy they went over Ahsoka without any real evidence) lmao BUT I feel like the inevitable appeals from any fellow Jedi they would happen to encounter asking them How They Could've Possibly Betrayed The Order And Fallen To The Dark Side (they didn't) And Become Maul's New Apprentice (ABSOLUTELY fucking didnt) would piss them off so bad that they wouldn't even care like Fuck you guys y'all have no idea what the fuck I got going on and you know what Maul actually makes sense sometimes . WHO said that.

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

quick vent because even though i already journalled about it i'm still mad

so i have this friend. we used to be really close and then after covid we were both at uni in different cities but we stayed in touch. she dropped out of uni in the first couple weeks, moved back home and is trying to start a small business as an artist, which i massively respect but it does make her super busy. so every time i'm back home for the holidays i text her like "hey are you free, it would be great to hang out" and she usually either says she's too busy and she can't or that she'll check her calendar and get back to me (and then doesn't). and that would be fine but i kept seeing on her social media that she was finding time to hang out with other people

after about a year of this i told another friend about it (let's call her B) and B was like "oh, i haven't seen her in a while either, i'll ask if she wants to hang out". and we found out that A had blocked B on everything and when she finally got a message through A told her that she was ending the friendship (that they've had since they were 3) because B hadn't been there enough for her (mind you this was the year B had had a complete mental breakdown) and she never wanted to see her again (this part isn't directly relevant to the story but think of it as a character reference)

so now, kinda mad at A, i confront her (very very gently) about the fact that i haven't seen her in ages even though she'd been seeing other people. she was really apologetic and said that if she'd known i was feeling like that she would have "prioritised" me above others (so like. completely admitting she had been ignoring me on purpose before). she said we would definitely hang out more - her boyfriend, who she visits quite often, lives in the next city along the train line from me so she suggested stopping along the way and seeing me the next time she saw him.

great! i thought, until the next time she went to see her boyfriend (and the next, and the next) rolled by and she hadn't reached out at all to make plans. so i start to think (with some evidence i would say) that for some reason she doesn't want to see me. obviously not as dramatically as she didn't want to see B, but still enough to literally never speak to me.

coincidentally, i see her bf quite often - whenever our big friend group goes out together when we're all back from uni he always goes, and i asked him a couple times (when quite drunk) if she had a problem with me - he said not, but i'm not sure if i believe him (he's very non-confrontational and nice, and also guys sometimes just don't notice stuff like that)

but THEN a couple weeks ago i talked about it quite deeply with another friend (let's call her C). she's at uni in the same city as the boyfriend so whenever A comes up to visit they hang out for a bit. and then last week A went to see her bf and i saw on instagram that she had seen C. and THEN out of nowhere she messages me like "hey it's been a while! how are you?" so i'm like 99% sure C told her everything i said (which is a whole other issue lmao). and we have a little chat in which i try not to be passive agressive and once again say it would be great to see her (yes, i am that desperate). she says she is doing an art market IN MY CITY next month and i say great lmk when and i'll come along!and she said sure!

and i just saw on instagram today that she is IN MY CITY like not just going through on the train i mean actually here but she literally said nothing to me at all

so girlies be honest (if any of you are even reading this lmao). am i wasting my time and energy? on the plus side i know that if i'd really pissed her off she would have no problem cutting me out completely, so it can't be that bad. but on the other hand i'd almost rather she did that and let me know definitively how she feels because i'm putting so much energy in just to get rejected over and over and my fragile self-esteem can't take much more. anywayyyy how is everyone else what are u doing tonight. i'm going to drink a lot of wine i think :)

[dausy]

Well I've been daily updating twitter ofcourse. I kind of at the last moment decided I was going to do a daily doodle thing. I did this years ago, where I drew something every day for a year. I'm not doing a full illustration this time just really simple, essentially a couple lines and thats it. Just to help the creative juices flowing. I probably wont stick it out for an entire year but I keep getting myself backed up into an artistic corner and I want to back back out of it and find a new corner. Instead while I've been doing that, I've also been using it as an excuse to update the status of my current ailment.

so essentially, I had already self-diagnosed myself with the flu but I did go ahead and made an urgent care appointment on Saturday (?). I will say that I normally get a flu shot, every year, I did not get one this year. Next year I will definitely be getting one. I definitely got this from my coworkers and theres was like 3x milder than mine. My immune system was not prepared.

I did not want to physically go to urgent care because I didn't feel safe driving. I was super short of breath and I felt very drunk (because its in my ears! my ears are messed up). Also, didn't want to sit in a waiting room when sitting up sounded like a lot of effort and besides, what is urgent care going to tell me that I dont already know? viruses are treated with rest and fluids and thats it. However, I assumed my boss was going to be on top of me for some sort of a work note even though I'm not a full time employee and I dont feel like I should need one but I had agreed to work on monday and if I called in she'd probably pitch a fit. I discovered, thanks to the local spouse groups, that there was a local mobile urgent care. They came to my house! I schedule an appointment and they came out about an hour later. The most convenient thing ever. They apparently didn't take my insurance so they charged me 179$ out of pocket but I wasn't going to complain. I didn't have to go anywhere. I could track the MA on gps and they sent me his photo so I didn't "have to be scared" lmao. It was all very nice.

I had already tested myself for covid and it was negative. I was tempted to start myself on prednisone (because I practically have an entire pharmacy at home) but HR was a good 115 and adding steroid to that sounded not fun. Normally my HR runs 60s if Im calm and 80s if Im stressed. 115 with steroids on board didn't sound like fun. My 02 was dropping to 93 when I was up and walking around but it would go back up to the high 90s. This poor MA came with a laptop that virutally connected to a PA and they were like "what do you want me to do for you?" like I guess I mainly just wanted to make sure that I was safe to be at home and I have evidence I saw some sort of healthcare person as proof.

I oddly enough didn't have much of a cough until about yesterday. I was feeling short of breath and when I did cough I'd cough gunk up but mainly it just hurt to cough but it wasn't frequent at all. Now I'm coughing alot. The worst part was the hot/cold flashes. I completely drenched the bed in sweat. I've never seen that much water come off of me. I literally touched the valley of my stomach and it was a puddle. I splished my hands in it. I would alternate between uncontrollable sweating to then freezing to death. I thought I'd be over it and I washed all my linens yesterday and then last night, just sweat everywhere. Which was annoying because I felt....nagged..?..guilttripped? to go into work today by my boss. Like I was faking it..I couldnt possibly be sick that long(my coworkers recovered in 2 days)..maybe I was crazy and I wasn't sick?

so I did! I WENT TO WORK TODAY. My coworkers were actually fine. They said they were actually surprised they handled things well without me. I'm simultaneously proud of them and really aggravated that I went in. Because I really did feel terrible. I realized real fast how weak I was and my brain was not functioning. I even gave myself the easiest roll I could where I was off in a corner away from people and I was struggling. I was struggling to walk and I was struggling to stand. My partner at work let me know how bad I looked too. I apparently looked like a frail old lady. Which was nice.

So I went home. My boss is like "wait where you going?". I guess in her defense she came equipped with a bunch of throat lozenges for me but I didn't have a sore throat. I have no energy and cant breath. So I'm going home. I dont work tomorrow btw.

[edalynn]

i gotta admit that i have this habit of checking on ur blog every week or so just to read you+other anons expressing frustration w huntl0w. in a weird way it's like an outlet for me whenever i get annoyed by the constant ship content in the fandom. like vicarious venting. if that makes sense

i honestly don't mind it as a crack ship tbh. like if that was all it was, that would be fine, it's like ppl shipping camila/eda, or gus/mattholomule, or vee/masha, etc... like huntl0w, those are all totally normal pairings that (with the exception of camila/eda) have all gotten VERY brief moments that might *possibly* hint to it being a thing in the future. but that's the point, is that huntl0w falls into that category, but the sheer quantity of content that is/has been produced VASTLY outpaces all the other crack ships.

and that's what gets me about it i think . is that the fanon has elevated it to the point where if all you knew about TOH was what you saw in fandom spaces, any outsider would make the reasonable assumption that huntl0w is integral to the plot and has had several episodes worth of development in regards to their relationship

but it hasn't? ,... meaning there's this weird mismatch between universally accepted fanon-as-canon and what actually occurs in the show. and..... it's really, really weird, and i think the question should be asked: why huntl0w? why is this crack ship specifically getting this strange treatment, and having more attention placed on it than fuckin lumity, or raeda?

and let's be real. it's probably cuz it's straight.

there are prob other factors too, like hunter is the stereotypical attractive bad boy who switches sides, or in luz's words, 'i pretend i don't care but i secretly do' kinda guy. think zuko ,and the amount of ppl that simp for him lmao. so it's possible willow is being used as a sort of quasi-self insert (recall how in a lot of their ship art, the focus is always always always on hunter and his issues, with willow just sort of Being There to fluster him/make him happy). and obviously using willow like that is really weird! like seriously i've got no problem if ppl wanna do an oc x canon situation with hunter. that's fine. but actually use some brain power to make a self insert oc instead of using willow lol

anyway i hope that wasnt too much rambling for an ask i just had some Thoughts about huntl0w lol

YEAH, if it had stayed a crackship I could've just like. ignored it and let it be. I definitely still mocked it personally with my partner irl when we would see it because it just seemed so ridiculous to us, but I wouldn't be as vocally angry or have the trauma response it causes now. The content in the fandom for h/l vs. lumity and raeda combined is depressing to say the least. And yes, you're right. It's because it's straight or straight passing at the very least. It's really telling and really upsetting for a queer-based show's most popular ship to be a m/f ship that's not even canon and doesn't even affect the plot. Honestly, I'd go as far as saying it's disgusting and those artists that I see that ONLY draw hunt/low shouldn't even be watching toh in the first place because this piece of media is clearly not what you need.

And it's amazing actually, what you pointed out. It has literally the amount of implication that any other crackship in the show has aside from camila/eda. Like, I knew that but I'd never really thought too extensively on that point. There is seriously no supporting evidence more than for gustholomule that hunt//low will ever end up canon aside from a few blushes from only one side of the ship in the first place. In any other show it would be taken as just that, a little nod at a potential crackship. I don't know why hunt/low shippers are so aggressively convinced that it's already canon when it's barely past crackship level.

And it's definitely all those reasons you mentioned that it's far more popular even than canon queer ships- it being m/f, hunter being the typical attractive bad boy-secretly good character, and Willow being easy to morph into a type of self-insert made to coddle said bad-boy character because that's the type of relationship and validation they want. 🙄 But for real,, if that's the reason you think you like hunt//low,, you don't actually like hunt//low or even Willow's character specifically- you just want a pretty bad boy to like you and you're using hunter as your outlet lmao. Seriously, just make an OC at that point. It does less of a disservice to Willow's character and can be molded into canon however you'd like. I'd prefer to see everyone's canon insert OCs than constant out of character hunt//low in the tags constantly.

[cobrrastyle]

I am not very good with English, but I hope my request is understood.

What would it be like to have a romantic relationship with Billy when he was still alive? Especially if the reader is a nobody with an ordinary life unlike him.

I like to think that this boy despite having the image of a heartbreaker, when he really loves he does it in a nice and unconditional way :]

a.n. no worries, anon!! i understood your words perfectly, and you're absolutely right! billy may be all talk, but he definitely harbours a passionate kind of love when he's head over heels <3 i mayyy have gone a bit overboard with this LMAO this is a long one, brace yourself!

𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐎𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐒/𝐎

𝅘𝅥𝅲  gn!reader

𝅘𝅥𝅲  established romantic relationship

𝅘𝅥𝅲  warnings. none

𝅘𝅥𝅲  edited. n/a

• there's two ways things can go! [1] you're the kind to wanna keep the relationship low profile or [2] you wouldn’t mind the publicity.

• for the former [1]: not once does it feel like billy loves you any less than he should. sure, he may be the world's no.1 heartthrob, but trust me, if anyone makes his heart beat a trillion times a minute, it's you.

• his manager and the rest of his team abhor it and are totally against the idea of billy having a relationship that's anything but a PR stunt, so imagine their faces when the cobra, out of nowhere, announced that he was dating someone? and that they weren’t a celebrity??

• ffs, they’re all about to have a stroke and billy's just grinning, all toothy n' shit 😭

• a major part of their entire careers depend on him being single, so they'll go on to do whatever it takes to keep you two a secret.

• easier said than done bc even though they'll never say a word, billy cannot for the life of him keep a secret, ERGO? he's going to be watched 24/7. mf has been this 🤏 close to spilling the beans. it's a miracle the public remains unaware.

• sneaking in to his mansion is a struggle on its own, but once you're there, it's smooth sailings and you two are free to do whatever you desire. outdoor dates aren't as common, but you both try to make the best out of the situation in his mansion. it's ginormous as it is, but billy insists on adding more rooms to it just for you.

• remember his pet crocodile, wendy? i love the theory that he never even had a crocodile, but a dwarf caiman (scientific name: p. palpeBROsus) as supported by the details in the ep 'where's wendy'. bby's a dumbass, but honestly, i can’t blame him on this one. imagine he just walks up to you, holding this wild animal like some newborn child, and is all, "hey babe, check it! isn't my princess just adorable? goochie-goochie goo! yes you are. yes you are!"

• your reaction aside, say hello to 'croco'-parenthood (wendy loves you btw!)

• it's canon that he rarely called people by their own name when he was a star, and i hc that billy uses your name more than he does petnames. the occasional 'babe' is used, but other than that, it's your name. he, on the other hand, loves being called petnames! throw in his real name when you two are having a moment and mf becomes all putty in your hands <3

• regardless of your status, it's nothing but the best for bjc's s/o! i hc that alive!billy is big on gift-giving. being financially smart is not in his vocabulary (hes got people for that!) and he has a habit of getting you the randomest shit you ever seen and things you never even knew existed.

• songs about you galore! he's still a narcissist and it's evident in his songs, but take a closer inspection at some of his newer lyrics and you'd see that something's shifted. the double meanings teasingly poke at the surface!

• for as much as his manager complains about your relationship, mf doubles down and he doubles down HARD. there's no way he's ever going to break up with you. his manager can suck it and he literally pulls the good old, "fine! i guess i'll just find some other manager who—" and say less 'cause that'll do it.

• he's a dick to the ppl he works with (intentionally or not; refer to episode 14's Let's Do Lunch) and the only one who can knock some sense into him is you, which makes part of the team grow fond of you.

• billy will still have to participate in some PR stunts with other celebrities. you tease him about it, and there'll be times when he'll also be in on the teasing to get a reaction from you, but jokes aside, he's there to remind you that it's all for show and that none of that is real. he will definitely make it up to you via vigorous attacks of hugs and kisses.

• because of this secrecy (and your daily work/academic schedule), you're sometimes not allowed to go on tours with the cobra, but god save the ppl on his tour bus bc he will be on call with you hours upon hours chatting up a storm. he takes his phone everywhere he goes until it's time to actually perform. 

• if his concert is being broadcasted, he's for sure going to do that thing where he looks straight into the main camera when he sings bits of his songs. he's done that before, but it just intensifies now that he's with you.

• all in all, it's a sweet relationship and he's keen on bringing you back little souvenirs from his tours! (mainly bjc merch but still, sweet nonetheless!)

• as for the latter [2]: mostly the same as the above, but billy will NOT hesitate to show you off the second he gets the chance 💀 say g’bye to the ordinary life!

• news channels, forums, the fans, the WORLD—everything is in utter chaos at the revelation. does he care? not at all! if anything, the attention he's receiving from it gives him life!! within days, you two automatically become the official sweethearts of beverly heights.

• pda all the way (only if you're cool with it babes, no pressure! ) and this guy will never not be seen in public without holding your hand, having your/his arm around his/your waist, or having either of your hands in each other's back pocket. you two are THAT kind of couple.

• VIP and Backstage passes are a MUST for you.

• you'll definitely get to see the cobra prep before a concert. not only that, but he also has his makeup artist do your makeup if you're in for that sort of thing! hair stylist, fashion designer, personal gum chewer, you name it; whoever works for him, works for you. end of discussion!

• the same can apply to some of his things. e.g. his private jet and limo.

• even if you just need to go to the market down the block, billy will insist on you guys taking either one interchangeably (not before he insists on some other person doing the groceries for you but hey, commoner grocery trip let's freaking go!!)

• you'll always be his plus one for galas, parties, night clubs, and award events and he WILL make it a big deal. not your kind of scene? he may get all whiny, but he respects it! you never hold him back from doing any of those things, so it's all good, but honestly? he often prefers to be with you. mans is attached, smitten and completely whipped!!

• as with any celebrity relationship, there's bound to be threats sent your way. billy's unaware that stuff like this even happens, but when he is made aware, he's gonna be devastated.

• a cobrahead? doing this?? will not hesitate to ban anyone from his concerts. they are definitely not true fans.

• his groupies (i.e. those three lovely ladies, you know em!) are a handful of the ones to actually warm up to you and will hype up your relationship through and through <3

• ultimately, having a popstar as your lover has its ups and down, but neither of you would have it any other way!