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#there's nothing Wrong w him but we have very different processes + I am not having a fun time
waterloggedtomorrow · 29 days
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The thing is just that I would Never EVER include a diagram in a paper I was writing that was a template I had downloaded from presentationgo.com w a giant watermark on it, + there's no specific reason for this? But I hate it with every single part of me.
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dbphantom · 1 month
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1113 spoilers
Okay the ocean part we predicted but MAN... You guys know that one post about how fish are free from sin because they weren't on the arc? Yeah
[continues to VERY PATIENTLY wait for more information about the Eve tree (processes sunlight) and what the sapphire scale disease actually is bc why was it the result of a chemical experiment by Saturn and why specifically natural light and why is there a tree that can process sunlight-]
My biggest worry (and I know this might sound hypocritical but bear with me) is that Oda ties the sapphire scale disease back to fishmen/merfolk and doesn't do it with tact or nuance...
Like I have been flirting with the idea of humans turned merfolk for a while bc of H2O au and I don't think it's something you can just add w/o considering the implications (which is why I changed a lot of FMI to make Sanji the one who gets the transfusion from Jimbe... And you know, addressed Sanji telling him to kill himself (seriously, you write an entire arc about ending cycles of hatred and then have a main character tell another main character to kill himself as a casual joke and never address it? Huge missed opportunity right there)).
And don't get me wrong I'm not like "ahhh I know more than the author" and Oda did pretty well with FMI (ignoring Sanji's... entire character that arc) as far as I can tell (I'm not the end all be all) I just... worry, I guess? I really don't want it to end up with a 'cure' because being different is wrong. I just don't want there to be a moment of "hey here's a way to make them 'normal' again!" and it be framed as a positive.
I've been watching the new Xm/en show with my bestie and I like the way they framed it there (at least so far, we are only a few episodes in). After all, it's a fictional show, I'm down for fictional scenarios (what WOULD happen if they could strip away a core element of someone's personhood just bc it made them different?) But it's been handled relatively well (so far!) with a good amount of tact. Also, it's for adults and is focusing on this to give it the depth, time, and nuance it deserves. Its not a comic book for kids with 90 other plot threads going on.
It's funny how fixated on this I am because it probably isn't even going to happen??? Like it's probably just that Oda wanted a way to write Ginny out that was also symbolic (sun = hope -> Saturn turned her hope into something that killed her) but still... You get my dread at this being a thing just for a shocking plot twist, right? I'm hoping it just the H2O brainworms that immediately made me jump to this conclusion and nothing else [side eyes the trivia section on the wiki page for sapphire scales] it's fine, we're going to be fine, it's just a spin on a lot of old Biblical stories. It's fine.
Anyway enough of me griping bc "PROTECT ROBIN" obliterated me on the spot. Nami, I fucking adore you, you will always be famous to me 🥺 she deserved that spot on the throne in the cover art solely because she is the best
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kimvvantae · 3 years
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puzzle; 8 (FINAL)
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➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?
pairing: jungkook x (f) reader
genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au
warnings: lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex
rating: 18+
word count: 16k
A/N: finally the last chapter! i am actually feeling very emotional right now. i enjoyed writing puzzle so much and it received so much love since the beginning! your feedback always kept me motivated to write. thank you so much to everyone that followed these two dorks and waited patiently for every update. i hope we can meet again in future works! 
hmmm, a little rec?? but i listened to sweet night by taehyung as i wrote this chapter. maybe listening to it will enhance your experience too!
enjoy!
➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!
« playlist »
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You don’t know how long it has been until Taehyung finds you.
It’s cold. The tears have finally come to a halt, but you’re still sobbing and sniffling. You should probably get up and go home. It’s late. Not safe to be alone on the street like this. You should probably call an uber or something. 
Yet, every time you think of Jungkook’s tears, it seems that your own eyes well up with tears all over again.
What makes you snap back into reality is the sound of shoes walking down the stairs.
You get up in a jump, feeling your legs ache in the process, and turn around to see the person you least expected to see right now. Taehyung stops some steps ahead. The light pole behind him marks his silhouette with a halo.
“I finally found you,” he says after a few seconds. He sounds hesitant but somehow relieved. 
It makes your heart clench even more.
You make an immense effort to speak, as if words ran over inside your throat and made it stuck. Well, they did, in a sense.
“Taehyung, w-what…?” is all you can stutter. You don’t really need to finish the sentence. What are you doing here? Why did you come after me even though I hurt you?
He looks down and caresses the back of his neck. You notice that he’s nervously fiddling with his car keys on the other hand. Oh. He probably didn’t want to be around you, either.
“Well, you ran away down the street like that. I got worried.”
You shouldn’t.
“It’s… not safe to be by yourself on the street like this. I’m taking you home.”
Please, don’t be kind to me. 
It will be much harder if you’re being kind to me.
“Taehyung, I…” you feel yourself squeezing your purse against you, just as nervous as he is. You don’t want to bother him with your presence anymore. “I was about to call an uber. You don’t need to…”
“It’s alright. I’m already here anyway.” He starts to walk up the stairs again without looking back. Without giving you a chance to disagree. “Let’s go.”
It seems that your legs forgot how to walk as you watch him. You don’t want to get inside his car. You don’t want to face him, not right now. 
When Taehyung reaches the top of the stair alley, he finally looks back at you in silence. 
That’s when you realize that you have to face him. You were never one to run away from the consequences of your actions.
The newest consequence is staring back at you in quiet sadness.
You inhale deeply before going after him.
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An awful silence hovers in the air during the entire ride home.
You can’t help but shrink on the passenger’s seat, hugging your own arms tight, your head leaning on the window. Taehyung does not make any attempt to engage a conversation. His presence is suffocating.
Something cold sets in your stomach when he parks the car in front of your apartment’s building. There’s nothing out there to distract you anymore. Nowhere else to run to.
You inhale again.
“Thank you.” you say softly. 
Taehyung doesn’t say anything as he rests his hands on his lap. You watch him intently as he gulps, his eyes glued in something ahead.
“So.” He starts, his voice as low as yours. This is painful. It was never your intention to put him in that situation, never. “I don’t want to take a drunk man seriously.”
It’s your turn to gulp. You really really don’t want to explain everything to him in detail. “Mike is a son of a bitch. He got it all wrong.”
“It seems that he got one thing right, though. Judging by Jungkook’s reaction.”
It’s getting difficult to breathe again.
Taehyung turns his head slowly to look at you.
“Are you guys…?”
You honestly feel like jumping out the window, but your feelings for Taehyung make you stay still. He’s a kind friend. He deserves to hear it clearly.
So you take a deep breath before speaking.
“Jungkook and I, we… we were never a real thing. Not really.” It hurts to say this out loud. It seems that you can still hear his broken voice…
There was never anything real happening, right? We were never real.
“B-But recently I realized that I have feelings for him.”
Taehyung nods slowly and sinks on the driver's seat. He rests his chin on his hand, letting a shaky deep breath out.
“Why did you call me today, then?”
“To tell you the truth.”
He gasps softly and shakes his head again. Taehyung has completely broken eye contact with you and his body language looks protective - building an almost visible wall between you and him in seconds.
“Wow. It seems that I was the one who got it all wrong.”
You feel like touching him to give him even a little bit of comfort, yet you know that you’re his main discomfort in the moment. You turn your body in his direction, pleading.
“Taehyung, it wasn’t meant to happen this way. I didn’t want to hurt you, not at all. I know that an apology won't be enough...”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” He cuts you. His voice sounds strange, so different from how he has ever talked to you. He’s very quiet, but you can feel the anger and hurt lying underneath. “We never had anything anyway. I was the delusional one here.”
No, not again. You don’t think you can take more guilt for one night. You didn’t just delude him going on that date; you deluded him every time you talked, every time you texted each other. Taehyung saw something more when there was nothing at all - he felt something more, and you were too confused with your own feelings for Jungkook to notice what you were doing.
“Taehyung…”
“I’m feeling very ashamed right now.” He admits with a shaky exhale. “Could you…?”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, but you know very well what he meant. Leave.
You nod and open the door into the cold night. You still stand there on the sidewalk hesitantly for a few seconds before whispering a shy “I’m sorry”. Taehyung doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look your way.
When you shut the door, you know very well that from now on, your friendship with Taehyung is also shut. 
You’ll miss him really bad.
It feels like you can barely carry the weight of your own body as you slowly make your way to your apartment - which is weird, because you feel empty right now. 
Your apartment isn’t as empty as you expected when you open the door, though. Seulgi is standing on the kitchen counter and she smiles wide when she sees you. She looks excited in a way she hasn’t been in months; it seems that she’s about to say something.
Her smile dies as she sees your puffy face and your red nose and eyes. 
“Y/N, what happened…?”
For some reason, when you look at her, you start crying again.
Seulgi wides her eyes and runs to where you’re standing, shocked and confused - probably because you have never cried in front of her yet. Never. 
“Oh my God, Y/N! What happened?!”
You can’t answer because the sobs won’t let you. You can just rest your face on Seulgi’s shoulder as she hugs you, patting your back. She is so confused that she can’t really think of anything else to do.
After a few minutes of restless crying, Seulgi manages to lead you to sit on the couch and runs back to the kitchen to take a glass of water. She sits by your side and hands you the glass, caressing your hair sweetly.
“Can you talk now, babe? What happened?” She asks again quietly as you try to drink a little bit of water.
You wipe the tears away once again and sniff. This place reminds you of him way too much. It feels that he belongs here, even though it’s not his home. And maybe… maybe he won’t ever step inside, ever again.
“I-It’s J-Jungkook.” it’s hard to speak between the sobs.
“Did you guys fight?” You nod weakly. “Was it that bad?”
Yes. Yes, it was.
After months of pretending, you finally open up to Seulgi. There’s no reason to keep this from her anymore. After Mike’s scandal, that’s probably everything the whole campus will be talking about in the next few days (you saw a lot of familiar faces at the bar).
It seems that Seulgi’s eyes will pop out of her face as you speak.
She stares at you, jaw dropped in pure shock.
“You and Jungkook what?!�� is the first thing she exclaims. “Since when?!”
You rest your back on the couch and gaze at the ceiling. The sobs have finally stopped, at least. “Do you remember when I broke up with Mike? When we went to that club?”
“Yes, and you spent the night out…” Seulgi trails off as realization hits her. She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. “That guy you were talking about was Jungkook?!”
You just nod.
Seulgi gasps and rests her back on the couch right by your side, your arms touching. She’s speechless for a while.
“But, like… how many times?”
“I don’t know.” She gasps again.
“That many times?”
You nod. “It was almost daily at some point.”
It seems that she can’t close her jaw anymore. “Where?”
“Here. His apartment. His car.” You frown. “Sometimes a cheap hotel downtown, when you and Jimin were both home.”
Seulgi stays quiet for a little longer.
You side eye her. “You didn’t suspect?”
She shakes her head slowly. “I thought you guys were acting strange for a while now, but I never thought this was going on.” She looks back at you. “Did someone know?”
“Jimin caught us once.” you decide to omit where he caught you. It’s embarrassing to say that you fucked inside Joy’s bathroom out loud and it makes you feel even worse. “But he promised to not tell anyone."
Back to silence. You can almost hear the engines inside Seulgi’s brain trying to process everything you just told her.
“But why did you guys fight?”
You take a deep breath before telling her the rest. Taehyung, Joy, Mike, Yeri. It’s quite painful to explain, but it’s also relieving.
If you thought Seulgi looked shocked before, now it looks like she just found out that Santa is real.
She completely turns her body in your direction, eyes super wide. “Do you like Jungkook?”
You nod softly, staring at your own fingers.
“It’s more than just liking him.” You admit sheepishly.
Then she’s quiet for a long, long time. You decide to finally look up at her.
Now you’re surprised.
“Why the hell are you smiling?”
Seulgi hides her mouth with both hands - as if this wouldn’t let you see the big ass grin on her lips. “I’m sorry. It’s… it’s cute.”
“Cute?” you quirk one eyebrow. “My suffering is cute to you?”
“That’s not what I mean.” she waves her hand dismissively. “I always kind of shipped you two, okay? It’s just that you two looked really good together and you always had such good chemistry and all. But I tried to stop thinking this because, you know, I thought it was wrong to assume that a man and a woman can’t be just friends… and it never looked like you had feelings for him, not at all.”
You stare at her as if she has a second head growing now. “You shipped us?”
“You can’t judge me.”
You cross your arms and sink on the couch even more. This is kind of shocking. “You never thought I liked him?”
Seulgi shakes her head. “Never. Jungkook, though…”
You turn your head to look at her so fast that your neck almost breaks. “What about him?”
She hesitates a little bit before speaking. “Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.” 
There it is again. The fast beating of your heart. It’s ridiculous that, even though you’re this miserable, you still feel this spark of happiness inside of you. 
For fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m in love with you!
You press your lips tight in an attempt to hold back the uninvited smile. It’s not appropriate to feel happy now; it feels that you don’t even have the right to feel happy at all. But his confession is hitting you just now. Hitting you like a truck. 
God, if only you could go back in time. If only you could just make him shut the fuck up and listen to you. Why did he have to be so damn dramatic? 
I love you too, dumbass! Now stop being a cry baby and kiss me!
What if Jungkook never gives you a chance to explain yourself? He can be hard-headed when he wants to. What if Jungkook never lets you get close to him again, what if your intimacy finally dies, what if you get so distant that when you’re in the same room you can’t bear each other’s presence anymore? What if from now on, there won’t be any Jungkook to steal your fries when you’re not looking, or to let you steal his clothes even though he pretends he doesn’t know you’re taking them, or to help you understand a difficult assignment, or to annoy you because he’s bored at 4AM, or to tell you the things no one else would be brave enough to tell you or to just be there when you needed someone the most?
Your brain can’t even comprehend what life without Jungkook is.
A mix of despair and hurry makes you get up in a jump.
“I’m going to his apartment.” Your breath is irregular, adrenaline taking control of your actions. “I-I need to talk to him now.”
“Hey, hey!” Seulgi gets up in a jump and puts her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to stop. “Y/N, you’re not okay. And you said Jungkook is drunk. Do you really think you’ll manage to have a civilized conversation right now? He’s probably still angry, maybe he won’t even listen to you.”
“I don’t care. I’ll shout on his door until he listens to me.”
Seulgi holds you in place again when you try to free yourself from her grip. “This is not a good idea and you know it.” She looks at you very seriously. “Take a shower, Y/N. Go to sleep. Tomorrow you’ll both be cold-headed and able to talk.”
“B-But,” you feel the tears coming back. Fuck. You hold Seulgi’s arms weakly. “But he needs to know the truth. He needs to know I like him back.”
The black-haired girl frowns. “Like him back…?”
You nod and look down. “He… he said that he’s in love with me.”
“Really?!” Seulgi huffs and taps your forehead lightly. “Then why are you so desperate?! He loves you back, dummy!”
“But I’m scared, Seulgi.” You sniff.
She rolls her eyes and pushes you into another hug. “Everything will be okay, Y/N. There’s no need to be worried. You already know the most important. Tomorrow you go talk to him, alright?” She chuckles softly. “Never thought I’d see you acting like this.”
You sniff again. “Now you understand how it is to deal with a stupid lovesick roommate.”
“Ouch.” You notice how she pats your back a bit aggressively. “But for real, Y/N… I’ll always be thankful for what you did today to me and Irene. Even though it was none of your business. And I’ll probably beat you up if you ever intervene in my life like that again-”
“Wow, I really see how you’re thankful, Seul.” She chuckles again.
"And I'm kind of offended that you hid this from me for so long."
"We promised we wouldn't tell anyone about this!"
"Alright, alright." She sighs. “I love you so much, you crackhead. And Jungkook loves you, too. You don’t need to be sad anymore, okay? Just take a shower and go to sleep now.”
You nod weakly.
Maybe she’s right. You’ll have enough time to talk to him tomorrow.
But you don’t think you’ll get any sleep right now.
***
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[you]: jungkook
[you]: can we talk?
[you]: we really really need to talk
[you]: can i go to your place?
[you]: please
[you]: i know you’re reading 
[you]: stop ignoring me
[you]: jungkook
[you]: JUNGKOOK
You sigh heavily. This is so frustrating. He didn’t even leave you on read - you’re sure he’s just reading the texts on the notifications and swiping them away. He didn’t block your number, which is a good sign, but this is already getting on your nerves. You’ve been texting since early in the morning (because you couldn’t sleep) and it’s already 5PM.
“He’s ignoring my texts.” You whine to Seulgi as you enter the living room. 
“You said he had things to do today, right? Maybe he’s actually busy.” She says as she checks her makeup on the mirror. It’s been a long time since you saw her getting all pretty like this; she did her nails, made curls on her hair, put on that green skirt she bought months ago but never wore it. This is what being happy and in love looks like. Pretty, well-dressed, nice hair, healthy skin and all.
Meanwhile, your hair looks like a bird nest, you’re wearing the ugly Naruto t-shirt you have since middle school, your entire face is swollen and you have bags under your eyes. This is also what being in love looks like, unfortunately.
“Why don’t you just go to his apartment already?”
“You told me not to do it.”
“I told you not to do it yesterday. Today he’s not drunk anymore.”
You cross your arms. “I’m… I’m still kind of nervous.”
Seulgi turns around and looks at you and quirks her eyebrow. There’s the ghost of a smirk on her lips. “I never thought I’d see you nervous because of anyone. You look like a teenager…”
"I swear to God, if you say that you think I look cute one more time I'll fucking kill you."
Seulgi laughs and runs to you again, putting her hands on your shoulders. "Y/N, do you remember how you were always telling me that I was complicating simple things?"
"Yes."
She lifts her eyebrows. "So."
You roll your eyes and huff. "But it's not that easy!"
"Now you understand how I felt, huh?" Her eyes soften again. "For real, though. If you show up at his door he won't ignore you, I'm sure. Just go."
You sigh again and nod. "You're right. Just… let me build some courage, okay?"
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She looks a bit worried. "I could go out with Irene another day."
"No, no. Go on your date." You wave your hands. "I'm not gonna die. Also, your pussy must be dusty after so long-"
She smacks your shoulder a bit too strongly as you let yourself laugh for the first time today. 
When Seulgi leaves, you still stand in the middle of the living room for a good while. Like a Sim whose action has just been cancelled.
Whoever is playing you is really evil for putting all the wrong people in the wrong places past night.
You know that you’re not being rational. You should have gone to his house a long time ago… but something holds you back. Perhaps because now there’s no turning back. You know what you feel for Jungkook and you know what he feels for you - your relationship got completely out of its comfort zone, and now you can’t even pretend anymore. Things won’t ever be the same. 
Maybe Jungkook is ignoring you because he’s embarrassed of what Mike did. He basically exposed you two in front of his friends. Sure, that’s none of no one’s business, but still… Jungkook didn’t want anyone to know about it in the first place.
You stare at your phone for a good while. Your reflection on the phone’s screen stares back at you in disgust.
For the hundredth time today, you unlock it and open Jungkook’s number. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard hesitantly.
[you]: jungkook i know youre mad at me and you have all the rights to be but
You frown and delete the text. It doesn’t sound good.
[you]: can you stop being dramatic and just text me back already?
You feel tempted to send this one, but if Jungkook’s angry, this will only make the situation worse. You sigh and try again one more time
[you]: i just really want to talk. you didnt let me speak last night. i know youre probably busy but please. i wont take much of your time
This one sounds about right. You tap the send button.
Then, your fingers mindlessly type one more text. It makes your heart beat fast just looking at it.
[you]: i love you too
You want to send this one so bad.
But you don’t.
Because this isn’t something to be told by text.
Coward! the angry voice of your consciousness yells in your mind. Stop being a coward! You’re an evolved human being, not a stupid teenager! Get this ass up the couch and go meet him!
You get up in a jump.
“I’m not a coward!” you say out loud. If you weren’t this out of your mind, you would have noticed how stupid it was to scream encouraging words by yourself in the living room.
But you don’t care right now.
You don’t care that your face is all puffy and the dark circles around your eyes make you look like a raccoon. You don’t care that you’re wearing your ulgy Naruto t-shirt with old ketchup stains, and you don’t care that you’re wearing the sweatpants that fall down your butt as you walk, and you don’t care that your hair looks like a living animal.
You just straight out leave your home and march to his. Flip flops and all.
Your heart beats at a stupid race as you walk, the sun already disappearing behind the buildings. The anxious part of your brain keeps reminding you that you don’t know what to say when you meet him and you don’t know what his reaction will be, but you shut this whiny voice up. Being with Jungkook always meant that you didn’t have to think a lot in the first place. Being with him is natural, it takes no effort. When you see him you’ll know what to say. You’re sure.
Yet, you can’t help but feel more and more nervous as you enter his apartment building (you never needed to ask permission to enter). You close your hands in fists, gulp multiple times, your heartbeat sounds like drums on your ears.
Your hand hovers over the door.
“Shit,” you whisper to yourself. It’s real. It’s happening. Come on. Don’t be a coward.
After taking one more deep breath, you finally knock on the door.
There’s noise inside. Steps. Fuck, you’re shaking.
You hear the sound of the door unlocking and you hold your breath ready to face him-
Jimin.
He widens his eyes and blinks.
“Oh. Hi, Jimin.” you say awkwardly. Why is he looking at you this way? “Hm, is Jungkook home?”
Jimin looks hesitant for a moment.
“No.”
It’s your turn to widen your eyes. So that’s why he isn't texting you back. This makes you a bit relieved.
“Is… is he working?” You can’t hide your disappointment.
“Not yet. He starts tomorrow.”
You put your hands on your waist and walk from side to side as Jimin just watches you in silence.
“Jimin, at what time he’ll be home tomorrow? Do you think it’ll be too late in the night? I really need to talk to him, but that fucker keeps ignoring my texts.”
You don’t like the face Jimin is making now.
You really don’t like it.
He scratches the back of his neck and frowns. “He… he didn’t tell you?”
This makes you stop.
“Tell me what?”
Jimin exhales and gulps.
“He told you that he’ll start working for Mr. Choi, right? That director.”
“Yes.” Each word of his makes you more and more worried. 
“So… this project he’s involved in…” Jimin licks his lips before continuing. “It’s overseas.”
You stare at him in silence as this information sinks in.
“Overseas?! Are you telling me he fucking left the country?!”
“Yes.”
You can’t believe what you just heard.
“B-But- yesterday Jungkook and I were planning to go out! This makes no sense!”
“Well,” Jimin looks hesitant again. “In fact, his flight is tomorrow morning, but he left earlier because we kind of had an argument.” He sends you an apologetic gaze. “He was drunk yesterday and all and I was trying to calm him down and I might have accidentally let it slip that I knew about you two, and this kinda pissed him off even more because, well, he was drunk and you know how Jungkook gets stupid when he’s drunk, so I think he left to his parent’s house and he’ll head to the airport tomo- wait, are you crying?!”
You sniff and hide your face behind your hands.
“Oh my God,” Jimin sounds confused and borderline panicked as he watches you start sobbing again. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“B-Because h-he-!” you can’t fucking speak anymore.
Jimin puts a hand on your back and guides you to sit on the couch. He brings some tissues and pats your back awkwardly as you cry and sob like stupid. 
“W-Why didn’t he tell me he was l-leaving?” you ask yourself. 
Jimin sighs. “Y/N, it’s not like he’s leaving forever. It’s just for this project. He’ll be back by the end of the week.”
“B-But he would’ve told me something so important!” You blow your nose. Jimin frowns. “I didn’t know this project was so huge! What, is it a movie or something?”
“It’s a music video.” You stare at Jimin in disbelief. “Jungkook has been around the recording studio with Namjoon and Yoongi a lot. He ended up meeting Mr. Choi, who has been directing some music videos for Big Hit Records’ artists. He liked Jungkook’s work and invited him to work as an assistant… I mean, the assistant of the assistant, as Jungkook himself said.”
You exhale, feeling your shoulders drop. “Why didn’t he tell me this?”
Jimin’s eyes soften. “Your friendship hasn’t been in the best shape these days, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”
You rest your elbows on your legs and hide your face behind your hands again. You didn’t want to be crying this bad again, yet you just can’t stop. You don’t even know why you’re crying anymore. Jimin just caresses your back in silence as your sobs start quieting down.
“You were right,” you say at some point.
“What?”
“When you told me not to hurt him. I was hurting him and I didn’t even realize. I’m so stupid.”
Jimin tilts his head. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Y/N. You were both stupid.” You side eye him.
“Jungkook said that he’s in love with me.” This makes him quirk his eyebrows.
“Oh.”
“You don’t look very surprised.”
“I’m not.”
“Did… did he tell you?”
“No.”
“Was it that obvious?”
Jimin presses his lips together hesitantly. “Do you want me to comfort you or do you want me to be honest?”
“Be honest.”
“It was pretty fucking obvious that he’s in love with you. At least for me.” 
You exhale and swipe your hands over your face. “I’m so stupid!” you repeat.
“Look, Y/N, to be honest, I think Jungkook is the most stupid. He was torturing himself with this fuck buddies thing, you know? He agreed to it in the first place. Everyone knows that this type of thing shouldn’t involve feelings, but he was the one to throw himself into it while he already had feelings.”
“It’s not like he’s the only one, though.”
Jimin seems about to say something, but he stops and stares at you, jaw-dropped.
“Wait, what do you mean?”
You rest your back on the couch. “I mean that I was also stupid enough to throw myself into it while having feelings.”
He’s quiet for a few more seconds.
“Do you mean that you like him back?”
You don’t answer. 
Much like Seulgi, it looks like Jimin just discovered something world-shocking. “Since when? Have you liked him since the beginning?”
You sigh sadly.
“No, I haven’t. To me, it was just fun. Until I realized that he was getting too far from my reach and- and I realized that Jungkook has never been too far, never, and I don’t know what to do when he’s not around.” You sniff. You’re not talking to Jimin anymore at this point; you’re talking to yourself. “Y-You know, now that I think about it, I… I guess I understand why it was always so good. Not just because he fucks good or because of his big dick-”
“I don’t need to hear this, do I?” Jimin whines in disgust.
“-but because it was him.” One more tear rolls down your cheek. “It was good because it was with him.”
The way you always felt comfortable to be naked in front of him. How it was always lighthearted and fun and exciting. You had good sex with other people before, but never like this. Maybe because these other people didn’t have Jungkook’s handsome smile or because their eyes didn’t gleam with excitement the way his does or because they didn't smell like baby powder. Or maybe because it was never scary to be exposed in front of him because he already knew everything about you - there wasn’t really anything else to expose. 
Jungkook felt like home.
Now, you feel homeless.
You wipe the tears away once more and look at Jimin-
“Why are you smiling?”
Doesn’t this scene look familiar?
“I’m sorry, it’s just that- wow, I don’t even know what to say.” Jimin doesn’t even try to hide his smile. “I’ve been waiting so long for this. Like, I kind of suspected that you had feelings for him, but I couldn’t be sure because you’re a hard bitch to read. To be honest, when I saw what you two were doing I wanted to kill you because you couldn’t be this blind to not realize how he feels about you-”
“Can you stop being honest for a moment?”
“Oh.” Jimin gulps, but he can’t stop smiling. “I’m sorry.”
You sigh again and cross your arms. “What if he never lets me explain myself, Jimin?”
“Stop the drama.” Jimin’s voice hardens suddenly. “You two are very similar in this sense, you know? I’m sure that Jungkook will listen to whatever you have to say. And he’ll be away for just four days! It’s not like he’s leaving forever.”
You sit there in silence for some moments. You’re sure that if you tell that you’re scared to talk to Jungkook, he will probably beat you up. He never had that much patience.
Jimin exhales heavily and gets up. “Wait a minute.” You watch as he walks into Jungkook’s empty bedroom, frowning. He stays there for a little while. When he comes back to the living room, he stops in front of you and hands you something.
“Jungkook’s gonna kill me when he finds out, but I don’t care.” 
“What is this-?”
“Just take it already. And watch it when you’re back home. It’s so personal that I got uncomfortable the first time I watched it.”
“Then why are you giving it to me-?”
“Just fucking take it, Y/N!”
You take the small device before Jimin makes you swallow it. 
He smiles sweetly.
“Everything will be fine, okay? Don’t worry. I’m always right.”
You stare at the small black pen drive in between your fingers.
This time, you genuinely hope he’s right.
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You had honestly forgotten how it feels to get drunk. 
At the same time that the dizziness feels familiar, it's also hitting you like a truck. Your friends didn't believe you when you said that you'd stop drinking, yet you've been loyal to your word. Of course, it's not like you didn't drink anything in all those months, but a single beer isn't the same as a pack of beer.
The way your body's responding to the alcohol in your system isn't right. Your stomach is already tangling around itself, you can't walk a straight line from the couch to the kitchen counter without feeling that there's holes opening on the floor, and your thoughts are more incomprehensible than usual. You'd usually not get drunk so fast - and surely not with just beer. You're the girl that was still very sober after many tequila shots that time a random date of yours was trying to get you drunk - he ended up drunk after a few shots, of course, and you left the son of a bitch alone while he vomited on himself.
Being in love sure has changed you a lot.
Look, it's not the first time you drink to forget about your problems. You've been doing that since high school and you're tired of hearing Jungkook say how this behavior is unhealthy (he's right, as usual). This time, though, you're not forgetting about your problems, you're just thinking about them more.
It doesn't help that you're listening to Seulgi's playlist on Spotify called "i miss you irene." You laughed your ass off when you found out she really made a heartbreak playlist and named it like that. "You're torturing yourself, Seulgi," you told her. I mean, why would someone sad listen to songs that will only make them more sad?
Well.
Here you are now, laying on the carpet as Spending my Time by Roxette is blasting on the speakers.
People really knew how to write heartbreak songs back in the 90s.
"Fuck you, Jungkook." you mumble, staring at the ceiling. "I'm shoving alcohol up my ass. You can't tell me what to do."
Jungkook, that fucker. Why didn’t he listen to you? Why didn’t you shut him up? If there was a way to go back in time you’d do it. You wouldn’t have kissed Taehyung, you wouldn’t let him get the wrong impression. You wouldn’t have encouraged Jungkook to be with Joy. Fuck, if you could go back in time you would have woken up that first morning in Jungkook’s bed and said that it meant a lot to sleep with him, that you were willing to not be just friends anymore.
(Of course, back then you didn’t feel that way, but you’re drunk and sad. Give yourself a break.)
Now, you can’t tell him what you feel because he’s somewhere overseas. He probably bought new clothes for such an important occasion. You imagine him being in a real set for the first time, his eyes gleaming as he watches the staff working, him trying to hold his excited smile back because he’s supposed to look professional and-
You sniff. You have a stuffy nose. Fuck.
You're so drunk that you can't really control your actions anymore. If Seulgi were here, she would probably stop you. But she's not here. She's somewhere with Irene.
So you take your phone, tap the Instagram app and start typing.
[@you]: hell o 😅😂🤣😊
[@you]: its been a log time how u doing???
[@you]: what if we meeet????
And unfortunately, she replies.
[@yerimiese]: hi 🤗
[@yerimiese]: yeah, sure!
[@yerimiese]: when can we meet?
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It’s the back pain that makes you wake up the next day because you slept on the floor. You’re dizzy and confused, your poor brain trying to understand what’s happening, why you’re on the floor, why there’s so many empty beer cans around you and why your phone is flashing with notifications from last night.
When your sight finally adjusts to the light your phone screen produces, your eyes widen and you stand up in a jump, making your back ache even more.
Did you seriously DM Yeri and she seriously agreed to meet you?!
It’s currently 11:40 AM - and you agreed to meet at noon. 
You run to your bedroom so fast that it makes you dizzy and you end up hitting your hip against the doorframe and it feels like you fucking broke it. You just have time to wear the first clean clothes you see laying around, tie your hair up and run to take the first bus you see.
You could’ve just told Yeri that you weren’t going anymore, of course, even though she agreed to meet you and it would’ve been kind of rude. You know it’s going to be the most awkward moment ever to see her after so long, especially now that you have feelings for her ex. Gosh - you’re already feeling so much embarrassment that you feel like jumping out of the bus and running back home. Why the fuck do you always end up doing stupid things when you’re drunk?!
But again - it’s that same chaotic side of you that makes you stay inside the bus and meet her. This chaotic side takes a good portion of your personality, it just gets more outgoing when you’re drunk. The same chaotic side that made you start some friends with benefits bullshit with your best friend just because you liked the idea of not being caught and the same chaotic side that made you passive aggressively flirt with Taehyung when you didn’t really want anything with him-
How the fuck did your friends even stand you?!
You’re forced to stop the existential crisis when you see that you arrived at the park. You feel a shiver run down your spine.
Yeri is sitting on the bus stop. 
She looks prettier than you remember; her hair is short and blonde now, which makes her look more mature. Yeri was always one to walk around well dressed, but right now it feels almost humiliating that she's all pretty when you literally look like a scarecrow. 
She smiles awkwardly and gets up. You didn't even say anything yet and it already feels awkward.
"I’m so sorry, Yeri,” is the first thing you say as you approach each other. “Did I make you wait too long?”
“No! It’s alright. I also got a little bit late.” She says, smiling prettily. Pretty is a word that overall describes her very well. “So, how you’re doing?”
“I’m doing fine!” You’re doing anything but fine at the moment. “What about you?”
“I’m fine, too.”
Silence.
My good Lord.
You start to regret all of your life choices right here and right now. You don’t see this girl in almost a year, you’re not close anymore, you know nothing about her life. Why the fuck did you even come anyway?! The awkwardness is so big that you can almost touch it.
There’s also a small and annoying thought that grows as you watch her - a thought you try very hard to ignore, but you can’t - that this is the girl Jungkook used to fuck before he started fucking you, that he used to go down on her and that he used to be inside of her and that those pretty lips of her once were around his cock and for some reason you start getting really angry-
“Do you wanna have a drink?” Yeri suddenly says.
You blink. “Hm… it’s 12PM.”
“And?” She quirks an eyebrow.
She’s perceptive, this one. Nothing’s better to break the ice than alcohol. 
You don’t even know what you’re doing here anyway, so who cares?
“Sure. I know a bar nearby.”
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Yeri slams the empty glass on the counter and stares at you, shocked.
“Mike did what?!”
You nod and swallow one more shot. Your tastebuds are so used (even calloused) from this bitter taste that you don’t even scowl as the drink slides down your throat. “Yeah. It seems that he was cheating on me for a while with that bitch. I caught them inside the lab.”
Yeri stares ahead. She looks speechless. “I will be honest… I heard that he was cheating on you, but I never thought this happened.” She shakes her head slowly. “Why the fuck were they inside a lab anyways? Are they stupid?”
“The lab was deactivated. That part of the science building was being renovated.” You sigh. Reviving those memories is kind of painful right now, especially after what Mike did to you some nights ago. Honestly, he could die and you wouldn’t care. “I was looking for him. His friends told me he went in that direction… well, kinda weird that they snitched on him like that. Maybe they really didn’t know. Anyways, I still don’t know how they got the key to the lab.”
Yeri nods. “Wow… I am really, really shocked. You guys were a pretty couple.” She gesticulates with her hand. “One more shot, please.”
“Me too, please.” You say.
The bartender looks at you two with visible worry. There’s no one else in the bar - who the fuck drinks so much this early? Wait, why is this bar even opened this early? - so he’s obviously hearing your whole conversation. You wonder what’s his opinion on your fucked up love life.
“Are you sure, girls? Shouldn’t you slow down a little bit?” He asks hesitantly.
You wave your hand dismissively. “Nah, we’re good.” You’re still not dizzy, just a little talkative. Getting drunk yesterday seemed to awaken all of your high tolerance superpowers. Pretty Yeri also isn’t one to get drunk that easily.
“We’re strong girls.” She reassures. The bartender shrugs as he prepares two more shots. “You seemed to like him a lot.” 
“I did.” You admit. 
“And he seemed to like you, too. I never expected that. Well… to be honest, Jungkook sometimes told me that he didn’t like Mike and that he was sure that he wasn’t a good guy.”
The sudden mention of his name makes you freeze. You realize that Yeri freezes, too. It seems that she’s also surprised for bringing him up like this. Yeri looks down at the new shot the bartender just placed in front of you two.
“It seems that he was right. As usual.” She finishes in a much lower voice, drinking her shot in one go.
This single sentence makes you realize that “Jungkook” is still a delicate topic for her. Of course it’d be - you don’t know much about their break up, but you sure know it was anything but friendly. Jungkook got pretty fucked up for a few weeks after their break up - and the fact that he refuses to talk about it to this day is enough of an indication.
Shit.
“Anyways, it didn’t stop there.” You decide to go back to your suffering for now, so she can get distracted. “The day before yesterday I bumped into him. He was drunk and made a scandal. Called me a bitch in front of everyone.”
Yeri gasps and looks at you wide eyed. “What? Please, tell me someone punched the fuck out of him!”
“Yeah, my friend did before I could.” You’re not telling her which friend, of course. “It was satisfying. Still made me feel really bad, though.”
“You shouldn’t. You did nothing wrong, Y/N. He’s the son of a bitch here.” Yeri reassures. 
You nod and drink. “But enough of talking about my depressing love life. What about you?”
Yeri sighs, holding the small cup with both hands. “I’m doing fine, I guess. Didn’t really get serious with anyone yet. I’m seeing a guy, though. I don’t think I like him yet, but he’s about right. Who knows?” She says, shrugging.
You nod slowly. We’re getting into dangerous waters now. “I’m glad we’re both moving on, I guess.”
Yeri goes quiet for a while.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
A deep silence settles after this. You stare at the empty cup blankly, feeling the tension building up.
"I… have to be honest." Yeri starts quietly. "It was surprising that you called me after so long." She taps her nails on the counter slowly. "And I have the feeling that you called me for a very specific reason."
You nod slowly. She's not stupid. "You're right."
Yeri hesitates for a second. "You didn't… Jungkook didn't ask you to come here to talk to me, right?"
You almost gasp. Jungkook doesn't even dream that you're with her right now. "No, no. He didn't. You know I'm kinda nosy, but I have my limits too."
Yeri quirks her eyebrows and nods. You really hope that this tiny thing you saw deep in her eyes wasn't disappointment. You really hope that deep down Yeri doesn't still like him.
"So… why did you call me, then?"
You sigh. She came all this way just to meet you, so you have to at least be honest right now.
"I was drunk yesterday when I texted you."
"Oh." Yeri widens her eyes. "I thought there was something wrong with you by the way you were texting."
You chuckle. "But… I did call you because of Jungkook, somehow." You say carefully, She stiffens. "I know it's kinda cruel to do this. If you want to simply leave or if you want to slap me, I won't judge you. But… we had a really ugly fight these days and I don't know what to do. I was hoping that maybe… maybe you could help me understand him."
Yeri goes very, very quiet after this.
"Did you guys fight because of me?" She asks after a while.
"No and yes." Yeri was one of the things that got you overthinking anyways. "I… I really need to know. Again, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to. But… why did you guys break up?"
Yeri turns her head slowly to look at you. There's something very serious and hardened on her eyes.
"He never told you." It wasn't a question. You shake your head. "Well, I figured he wouldn't." She looks back to the cup between her hands; you can see she's thinking hard. "Y/N, I always admired your friendship with him. What you have is something truly special. Maybe you won't want to know why. Maybe I don't want to tell you because I don't want to destroy your friendship."
"My relationship with Jungkook won't ever go back to what it used to be anyways. I don't care." 
Yeri looks surprised. She still hesitates for some moments - what makes your blood boil in expectation - but finally sighs and nods.
"Alright, then." She crosses her arms. "I broke up with him because of you."
You stare at her, jaw dropped.
"What? What did I do?" You ask, genuinely confused.
"You did nothing." She chuckles drily. "That's why I couldn't hate you, you know. And I tried to hate you really hard."
You don't know what to say. Some girls Jungkook had some sort of relationship with were very jealous of you, you knew, but Yeri was different. "Were you… were you jealous of me and him? But Yeri- you know we weren't like that."
This is not a lie. You weren't like that while they still dated. You were too stupidly in love with Mike to notice the person that was standing right by your side all along.
"I know." She nods. "I know you didn't. But Jungkook did."
You freeze.
"What?"
Yeri finally looks at you again - clear sadness on her eyes.
"Jungkook loves you. Not in a way a friend does."
You’re absolutely speechless.
Your heart is beating so fast that you think you’re about to faint. Your brain malfunctions and it seems that you lost the ability to speak for a few moments. This shouldn’t shock you - Jungkook confessed his feelings himself not long ago, and Jimin also said how he knew about Jungkook’s feelings - goddamn, even Seulgi noticed it a little bit. But back then? When he was still dating Yeri?
“B-But Yeri-” you hate the way you’re stuttering and you hate how Yeri is telling you something she obviously doesn’t like, but you still feel so fucking happy and fuzzy inside. “Jungkook was in love with you. I’m sure.”
“I thought so, too. And he thought he was in love with me.” Yeri stares ahead again, and in this moment you realize that yes, it still hurts her. “You know… Jungkook was too much like a dream.” She chuckles to herself, as if she can’t believe in what she’s saying. “He was perfect in every sense. His good looks, the way he was always so sweet… God, even the way he’s in bed.” Yes, he’s unbeatable in bed, you want to agree. “Too perfect to be true.”
Yeri goes quiet again for a while. She stares at the cup as if it’s showing her something important she can’t look away from.
“I started to realize why it was so perfect.” Her voice sounds painfully fragile. “He was trying too hard. Always trying his best. At first I thought that it was a good thing… We all want someone that’s always trying their best for you, right? But then… then, I started to watch how he acted when he was around you. Y-You know what’s worst in all this? It’s not like you two gave me actual reason to be jealous. You were never touchy around each other. You were even dating back then, and you two avoided going out together because Mike and Jungkook never got along well. I know it.” She sounds like she wants to cry. It makes you feel really, really bad. 
“But… fuck, it was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. With you, he wasn’t trying anything. He didn’t need to try. I saw how he was so comfortable around you and… well, I didn’t need to be a genius to understand that he was so stupidly in love with you that it got him blind.” Yeri inhales and exhales deeply. “Jungkook was too much like a dream. But everyone has to wake up sometime, and I didn’t want to be there when he woke up from his. So I left him before I could get any more hurt.”
You can just stare at her, jaw dropped, adrenaline making your breathing shaky.
“Yeri, I never… I didn’t…” you stupidly stutter.
“I know you didn’t.” She nods. “I even pitied Jungkook, you know. Because he didn’t want to see what he really felt, and because you obviously didn’t feel the same.” Yeri chuckles. “That’s why I can’t hate you. That’s also what gave me some sense of revenge. At least he’s suffering a little bit.”
You’re both very, very quiet for some time.
“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. She doesn’t know you’re apologizing for putting her under the torture of telling those memories that are still painful for her. You weren’t expecting that Yeri still felt so affected by her past relationship even after so long. 
“You don’t need to apologize.” She shakes her head slowly. “It wasn’t meant to be. That’s all. We would both keep suffering like that.” Yeri exhales again and looks at you. “Well… I guess I’m going now. I really hope I didn’t completely kill your relationship with him.”
She didn’t.
She quite helped to save it, actually.
Yeri takes some money from her purse and puts it over the counter, paying for her drinks. As she gets up from the stool, you say:
“Thank you for telling me, Yeri. I really wish you all the happiness you deserve.”
The blonde girl opens a small smile. You see why Jungkook fell - well, at least thought he fell - for her. Maybe Yeri doesn’t know it, but she also looks like a dream. You just hope she’ll find someone that will wake her up to see the most beautiful, warm and lovely reality.
“Thanks. See you around.”
She leaves.
You just sit there, all alone, staring at the counter.
Well- not exactly alone.
The bartender is furiously side-eyeing you.
“What?” You ask drily.
He presses his lips together. “I don’t think I should say anything…”
You tilt your head. “Go ahead. You heard everything anyway.”
The bartender stops in front of you. There’s something wise about him. That’s probably the result of hearing hundreds and hundreds of love stories every night - day, in your case.
“That dude you guys were talking about,” he says. “Your friend. You like him, right?”
You stare at him seriously. “Why would you think that?”
“Because your eyes lit up so much as she talked that I thought you were going to explode.”
Fuck. You can’t even pretend anymore. You avoid his gaze, embarrassed, and nod. “I do.”
He lifts his eyebrows. “Then, and excuse my intrusive ass, what the fuck are you waiting for?” He almost looks annoyed, as if he’s having to explain something painfully obvious. “Go after him, woman!”
You stare at him. 
He’s right.
What the fuck are you waiting for?
Oh, right. You’re waiting until he comes back, because he’s fucking overseas.
It makes you so, so angry. After everything you just heard, after everything you’re feeling right now, you wanted nothing more but to run to him and make him listen to you. You want to see him, to hug him, to make him understand that he’s your most important person in the world, that you can’t see yourself in a world where he isn’t around.
But guess what - you’ll have to wait three days to meet him. 
You look so grumpy on your way back home that people deliberately avoid looking at you. Seulgi and Irene are there when you arrive; Seulgi looks worried, Irene looks confused, you just decide to say you’re alright and lock yourself inside your bedroom because you can’t physically look at a happy couple right now.
You throw yourself on the bed and scream against a pillow.
If someone told you you’d be feeling so many things when all of this started, you wouldn’t have believed. You were always someone to continuously keep the fuck it button pressed - or at least, you pretended you did. Like that, you could trick your heart into believing you weren’t hurt by some jerk who cheated on you, that you didn’t feel like a piece of shit for drowning your problems in alcohol, that you didn’t care that most of your “friends” just cared about you when it came to parties and having fun, that there was never really anyone that truly took you seriously in a relationship.
It’s really easy to pretend those things aren’t real. But it’s just like Yeri said - one moment, everyone has to wake up. To you, waking up means facing the consequences of your actions, to face your feelings.
And it really hurts right now.
It also reminds you that the person you’d usually let your guard down for was Jungkook. You were never embarrassed to be weak in front of him - and it was the other way round. You were always in tune. Always in synergy.
This makes you remember the little black pen drive laying on the nightstand.
You sit in a jump, taking your laptop and the pen drive. Just feeling the device between your fingers makes you feel nervous… that’s why you still didn’t check what’s inside of it yet. Jimin said it was something personal. You’ve been hesitating to see whatever it is.
It can’t be bad, can it?
You plug the pen drive in your laptop. 
The files tab pops up. There’s actually only one file inside the pen drive - a video. It’s called euphoria final test i swear to god. 
You chuckle. This is so Jungkook. 
Your finger still hovers over the touchpad hesitantly. It looks like one of Jungkook’s test videos - you’ve seen plenty of those. Nothing new. Nothing to be scared of. You double click. 
The video opens up and fills up the screen.
It’s a vertical video recorded on selfie mode. Jungkook is walking down the university hall; he has a playful smile on his lips. The video shows you walking by his side, a grumpy expression on your face.
You remember this. He actually posted this on his Instagram stories around one year ago. His hair was way shorter back then. Why does he still have something so silly?
“Y/N’s team lost the championship.” Jungkook says. Of course he looks happy. He roots for the rival team. “How are you feeling right now?”
“Fuck you.” Is all you say.
Jungkook laughs loudly.
Another video.
A song kicks in.
It starts with the sweet melody of a piano. You frown, not recognizing this song at all. 
Then the voice of the singer kicks in, and you feel your whole body freezing.
It’s Jungkook’s voice.
He sounds soft and angelic as you’ve always known - only this time, through professional mics and mixing. This itself is already shocking. You always felt blessed for being one of the few people to know of Jungkook’s singing ability, but this is different. He sounds like a professional singer, someone that makes a living out of it.
You remember Namjoon’s voice.
Hah, Jungkook didn’t tell you yet? He has been working with us! We’re doing a good job. He lent his voice to record some demos.
You then remember what Jungkook told you.
I… I kind of helped them write a song. I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.
Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.
Is… is this the song he was talking about?
Jungkook’s sweet voice sings:
You are the sunlight that rose again in my life
A reincarnation of my childhood dreams
I don’t know what these emotions are
Am I still dreaming?
Your breathing is irregular. Your fingers are shaking slightly. 
Because as if his voice wasn’t enough to singlehandedly make you feel completely lost, the video is still passing on.
Videos of you.
You sitting on the university’s library, reading a book. You crying that time you ate tacos that were way too spicy, Jungkook’s laughter from behind his phone ringing softly over the song. You playing Just Dance with Seulgi, ridiculously trying to follow the doll’s moves on the TV. You running after Jungkook down the hall as he laughs because he stole your last cookie. You dancing around your kitchen as you prepare breakfast. You and him singing to Staying Alive that night at Burger King, both of you visibly drunk. Your shocked reaction as you watched a plot twist unfold on the TV - an anime he insisted so much for you to watch that you ended up watching.
I hear the ocean from far away
Across the dream, past the woods
I'm following this clarity
Take my hands now
You are the cause of my euphoria
You remember some of those videos. He posted some of them on his Instagram or Snapchat. Some of them you sent him yourself. Some of them, though, you had no idea that existed. Videos of you doing… nothing. Scrolling down your phone. Reading a book. Watching TV. Some of them look more professional - those are from the times you accepted to be his “model” so he could test his techniques, yet he never let you see any of those videos.
Just you.
You, you, you and you.
Were you wandering around
Looking for an erased dream too?
It’s different from what destiny suggests
We share the same painful views
Won't you please stay in my dreams
Yes, both of you had erased dreams. Your erased dream was Mike. His erased dream was Yeri.
Jungkook thought that you would never be more than friends. What he felt, though, was different from what he thought destiny suggested.
The way you drifted apart from each other. The pain you went through, watching your friendship slowly die. You shared the same painful views.
You don’t know at what moment you start to cry, but now, tears are freely dripping down your cheeks.
Even if the earth crumbles
No matter who shakes this world
Don't let go of my hand
Please don’t wake me up from this dream
You remember that time you were looking at the pictures Jungkook took at a wedding, and you noticed how the groom looked at his future wife with overflowing love. You wondered to yourself if someone has ever looked - or ever would - look at you the same way.
Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.
It was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. 
You’re not seeing him in this video.
Yet, it shows how Jungkook sees you. And you can’t help but think… in his eyes, you look beautiful.
He sings beautifully. Passionately.
Take my hands now
You are the cause of my euphoria
Euphoria
Close the door now
When I’m with you I’m in utopia
As the song slowly ends, the screen shows a last shot from a very old video you didn’t even remember. It’s from your graduation day from high school… actually, a video your mother recorded. The difference is clear from how shaky the camera is. You can’t help but think you look too goofy in your old school uniform.
“Y/N, it’s your graduation day! Next year you’ll live by yourself in a big city!”
“Thanks God. Less bills to pay for,” you hear your father jokingly say somewhere out of sight. You roll your eyes, but still laugh.
“Thank you so much, Dad. I see how much you love me.”
“But I love you, sweetie!”
“Shut up, darling. I’m trying to do an interview.” Your mother shushes him. “So, how do you feel, Y/N?”
You look thoughtful for a moment. That stupid teenager on the screen looks so full of hopes and courage. So young, so naive. “I’m a little bit scared, but I’m excited.” You say. 
Then you smile, as if remembering something very important.
“Besides, Jungkook will live next to me, so I’ll be alright.”
The video ends.
You just sit there, sobbing uncontrollably for the next few minutes.
When you clicked that file, you never expected this.
You never expected to feel so loved with just a video.
At the same time, it makes an urge - the strongest urge you’ve ever felt in your life - flow through you. You need to tell Jungkook how wrong those lyrics are.
He doesn’t have to keep dreaming anymore. You’ve woken up from your own dream - and you’re ready to show him the real world in which you love him back, unconditionally.
Irene and Seulgi look worried as they see you marching out of your bedroom, sniffling, tears streaming down your cheeks. Before Irene can say anything, you put both hands on her shoulders and look at her seriously.
“Remember when you said you owed me one? That you’d help me with whatever I needed?”
Irene starts to look scared. “Yes.”
“Were you serious?”
“Of course!”
“Good. Then I need you to buy a flight ticket for me. Today.”
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“Are you sure that’s the right hotel, Jimin?” you ask out of breath, your phone almost falling as you balance it between your ear and your shoulder, your hands busy holding your passport and flight ticket. You, Irene and Seulgi run inside the airport, looking like three crazy women in a dangerous mission - which isn’t too far from reality.
“I’m sure, Y/N!” Jimin says through the phone, starting to sound a little bit annoyed. “God, you asked me this a hundred times!”
“But I need to be sure! Can’t you ask him once again?”
“He will start to get suspicious. I already had to make up one hell of an excuse to make him tell me which room he’s in without sounding creepy.”
“Room 23, right?”
“Room 32!”
“So, is he sure that’s the right hotel?” Irene asks.
“Yes.”
She clicks something on her phone. “Good. It’s not too far from the airport. You’re lucky there was a room available!”
“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” Seulgi asks, looking borderline panicked. “You’re not going to die if you wait a few days until he comes back.”
“Yes, I am going to die if I wait any longer.”
“So dramatic.” Jimin says over the phone. You can even see him rolling his eyes.
“Shut up!”
“Why are you telling me to shut up?!” Seulgi asks, offended.
“No! I was talking to Jimin!” You finally hold the phone with your hand. “Okay, Jimin. I’m hanging up. Thank you so much for your help.”
“Don’t fucking die out there.” Jimin says, but you can hear the smile on his voice. “Good luck!”
You shove the phone inside your back pocket and turn around to look at them.
“Y/N, I don’t trust you alone in a foreign country.” Seulgi says. She does look panicked.
“I don’t trust myself either, but it’s alright.” You reassure her - but she only looks more nervous. You didn’t even bring a suitcase, choosing to just take a backpack with a few clothes and extremely necessary items. 
Irene takes something from her wallet and hands it to you. “Here’s my credit card. I will text you the password later.”
You widen your eyes. “Irene, that’s not necessary…”
She shrugs in a dismissing demeanour. “Of course it is. How will you survive out there without money?” This kinda reminds you that this is only one of her credit cards and that whatever money you spend won’t really mean much to her. Still, you take the card hesitantly, making a mental promise to not spend more than the utmost necessary. “Your room is booked. You can ask a taxi to take you directly to the hotel. There’s no way to get lost.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” Seulgi says under her breath.
“Seulgi, I will fucking beat you up.” 
“Sorry! I’m nervous!” She admits.
Your gaze softens. “I promise I won’t die, okay?”
She steps closer and hugs you tightly. “Be safe. Huh, you’re so stupid, but this is so romantic! It feels like I’m watching a Netflix romcom movie in real life!”
“Why do you always have to bring Netflix up?” Irene wonders under her breath. Seulgi sends her a menacing glare as she steps back again. “Anyways, if you need anything, please call us. Call us as soon as you get out of the plane. Keep us informed.”
“Okay.” You jump over to hug Irene; she gets visibly surprised, not really the type of person to appreciate a lot of physical contact. “Thank you so much, Irene! You’re saving my life!”
“The same way you saved mine.” She giggles. “Now go, unless you want to lose your flight!”
You wave them goodbye one last time before walking to the check-in area.
Yeah. You know that this is very, very stupid to do. You could wait three days. But when your impulsive, chaotic side takes control, you can’t really hold it back. That’s why you get inside the plane even though you’re really fucking scared of flights, going to a country you know absolutely nothing about. 
But it’s alright. You’ll be with Jungkook, so it’s alright. Even if he rejects you - it’s alright.
Your chaotic side says that you’ll annoy him until he at least listens to you - and this time, you don’t think your chaotic side is all that wrong.
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You get lost.
Which is dumb, because there were lots of information boards around the airport. Maybe that’s why you got lost - too much information, your peanut-sized brain couldn’t process all of that. After walking around the gigantic place for a good thirty minutes, only stopping to buy something very important on a vending machine, you find the exit and the taxi area. The taxi driver sees how desperate you are and it looks like he pities you.
Irene was right; the hotel is only twenty minutes away from the airport. It’s not a super hotel, but it looks like it’s much more expensive than you’d be able to pay (you couldn’t even pay for the flight tickets anyway). 
You get more and more and more and more nervous at each passing minute. You feel like you’re about to fucking explode as the receptionist types something you can’t see. When he gives you the key card for your room, you feel goosebumps run down your spine.
It’s now.
Getting inside the elevator, you press the button to Jungkook’s floor. You don’t even want to drop your things in your own room before meeting him. You’re so nervous that, if you wait a little bit more, you’re sure that you’ll pass out.
Every step of yours on the corridor’s carpeted floor echoes in your ears. Your heart beats furiously. Your hands are trembling slightly and you feel cold in your stomach.
Room 23.
You stand in front of it, frozen.
Oh my God.
As expected, you don’t know what you’ll say when you see him. You tried to plan a speech the entire flight as a way to forget you were thousands of feet away from the ground and how fucking scared it made you, but you couldn’t think of anything.
You inhale and exhale deeply. It’s alright. It’s Jungkook who you’re talking about. You’ve always known how to act around him. Right now it’s no different.
Finally, you knock on the door.
“J-Jungkook?” You call, your voice failing slightly.
No response. 
Weird. Jimin made sure that Jungkook wouldn’t be working anymore at this hour.
“Jungkook, it’s me. Can we… can we talk, please?” You say a little bit louder, knocking on the door once more. You can't hear any noise coming from inside the room. Come on, Jungkook. You have to open the door before any security guard can drag me away from here. 
Your breathing is difficult. Your hands are trembling slightly. It feels that the floor is opening holes under your feet.
"Jungkook, I know you're mad at me. But please… please, let me at least explain myself." It's stupid how you already feel your eyes welling up with tears. Since when you became such a cry baby? Your chest tightens, hurts. "Y-You can't just leave me outside your room like this. Stop being a jerk. I need to tell you… I-I need to tell you that I lo-"
"Y/N?"
You freeze.
You turn around, looking at the exact opposite room in the hallway.
It's him.
Jungkook still holds the doorknob, indicating that he just opened it. He's barefoot, wears shorts and a long sleeved shirt, all black. His damp hair falling slightly over his eyes indicates that he probably just took a shower.
His eyes are so widened that it looks like they're about to pop out of his face.
He sincerely looks at you like you're the weirdest thing he has ever seen in his life. 
"W-What-" he stutters, looking like he can't form a coherent sentence. "What the fuck?!"
You're still frozen in place.
You turn around again, looking at the door you were knocking on.
Room 23.
You look back at Jungkook again - the sign on his door.
Room 32.
"Oh." Is all you can say.
Shame suddenly makes your shoulders weight. You really, really hope there's no one inside Room 23. 
You both stand there, staring at each other with widened eyes like two scared chipmunks. Your neck and face feels very, very hot.
Jungkook looks like he's recovering from the shock. He didn't hear anything you said, apparently. 
"W-What exactly are you doing here?" Jungkook asks, tilting his head to the side. He frowns, looking at you like you're an exotic species. 
"Oh." You repeat. Your brain is malfunctioning. You step closer, simply showing him the plastic bag you're holding. "I-I brought you this."
His eyes go from you to the plastic bag and to you again. 
"It's banana milk." You explain hurriedly. He widens his eyes slightly. "I mean- it's this country's equivalent of banana milk, I guess. It's the closest thing I could buy in the vending machine."
Jungkook raises his hand slowly and takes it. He's moving carefully, as if this exotic species can jump on him and bite him at any moment.
"Did you take a 5 hour flight just to buy me banana milk?" 
"Yes." You agree mindlessly. You feel your entire body burning now. "A-And I also came here to talk, because your dramatic ass didn't let me speak the other day."
Jungkook quirks one eyebrow and crosses his arms slowly. "Alright. I'm listening to you now."
He stares at you very seriously. 
His gaze is overwhelming. It almost feels that you're getting small under his eyes. Gosh - you've been wanting to see him for days, but right now, when he's right in front of you, you can't say a damn thing, your brain completely overheating, your braincells melting. You thought you'd know how to act when you met him - but ha, guess what? You don't.
And that motherfucker is just standing there, waiting for you to speak. Just staring at you.
You hold the doorknob in a swift moment and close the door on his face, just letting enough of it open so he can still hear you.
"What-?" He gasps from inside the room.
"Shut up, okay?! I just can't speak looking at you right now." You hold the doorknob so tightly that your knuckles get white. You hate the way your voice is trembling and you hate the way your sight can't really focus on anything around you - that's just how nervous you are.
Jungkook doesn't say anything. You feel him leaning on the other side of the door, waiting patiently.
You inhale and exhale heavily.
"You got so fucking angry at me when I said you were my best friend that night.” You start, not really knowing where you’re going with this. You don’t even know if it’s possible to convey everything you feel through words only. “But you know, it’s- it’s true. You are my best friend. But what you didn’t let me explain is that you’re not just my best friend.”
Your heartbeat thunders on your ears at each word. You can’t see Jungkook’s expression, and at the same time it helps you keep talking, it also makes you more anxious. 
“Y-You’ve been with me through everything. You were there with me when I broke my arm when we were kids, and you were there to help me when I thought I wouldn’t get into college, and you were there with me to celebrate when I got into college. It’s even embarrassing that you’ve seen all of my lowest moments.” You rest your head on the door, staring at the carpet under your feet. The first tears roll down your cheeks. “You know everything about me and sometimes I hate it. You’re like… fuck, I hate how cheesy this sounds, but you’re like a part of me. A-And you’re the best part, because- I don’t know how to explain, but you’re always the one making my average self want to be more.”
Normal you would never say something like this. You’re far from being an emotional person and you’re shit with words. But right now you’re crying and sniffling and trembling and you can’t shut your mouth anymore.
“Please, you have to believe me. I would never purposefully hurt you. Whenever I see you sad I die a little bit inside, and to know that I was the cause of your sadness is fucking killing me. It’s killing me.” You sob. “I don’t want to be the cause of your sadness ever again. I-I want to return all the good things you’ve done to me. So, please… I know I’m a pain in the ass to deal with, b-but if you’d let me be by your side… if you’d just bear me a little bit longer until I become someone that you’d want to be with-”
Jungkook opens the door. 
You hear him whispering under his breath wait, wait, wait, interrupting you. Gently, he puts his hands on your arms and pulls you inside the room, closing the door right after, so now your back is against the door - right in front of him.
He stares at you, lips parted, eyebrows slightly knitted together. He looks stunned. Very, very confused. And very hopeful.
His starry eyes are welling up with tears.
“What… what do you mean with all this?” Jungkook asks softly. He almost sounds scared. “What do you really mean?”
You stare at him in silence. His beautiful face. His beautiful self. 
You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.
“I love you.” you confess, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I fucking love you. I’m sorry that I took so long to realize.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen.
The next thing you know is that his lips are against yours.
He drops the plastic bag full of banana milk on the floor, holding the back of your neck with one hand and pressing your body against his with the other. He tastes like toothpaste and tears; you can barely breathe, adrenaline rushing through your bloodstream, your fingers grabbing the strands of his damp hair.
When he finally lets go of your lips, you’re both out of breath and trembling.
Then, he smiles - and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life.
He wipes the tears away from your cheeks as his own cheeks are wet with tears. His eyes are smiling too, and you think that you want to keep that smile forever.
“Y-You have… you have no idea of how long- how long I dreamed of hearing this,” Jungkook says quietly, his voice cracking a little bit. He giggles, frowning his eyebrows slightly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing right in front of him. “I can’t believe you took a fucking plane to bring me banana milk! How can I stay mad at you when you do this type of thing?!”
You start giggling too. His warmth, his scent of baby powder, the way his eyes are shining as much as diamonds - this is something you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t know you’d ever have.
“God- I fucking love you, too.”
Your heart feels filled.
You smash your lips on his again.
It’s desperate and intense and makes your senses completely dizzy.
You feel the backpack dropping from your shoulders right before Jungkook lifts you up as if you weigh nothing and you circle your legs around his waist. Without breaking the kiss, he carries you to where the bed is, sitting down with you on his lap. 
Adrenaline and excitement washes over your body in anticipation. It’s even familiar at this point - his gaze clouded with want, your heavy breathings, hands grabbing and caressing everywhere they can find. Jungkook moans quietly against your lips as you grip his hair tightly, humping your clothed core very slowly against his growing erection.
“I missed you so fucking much,” he whispers in that deep voice that makes goosebumps run down your skin, his lips against your neck as he kisses and sucks it. You giggle.
“We fucked just a few days ago,” you point out.
“I miss this everyday. All the time.” 
You hold his face, forcing him to look at you.
You might be shit at words, you might not know how to express yourself that well. But one thing you know better than anyone else is how to make him feel good.
So, softly, you push him back until you’re hovering above him and he’s propped up by his elbows.
You don’t say anything. You just smile and start to take his shirt off.
He doesn’t complain.
Your hands roam his exposed skin as you kiss and suck his neck gently. While your lips are still glued on his neck, one of your hands travels to caress his clothed member. Quiet moans come from the back of his throat. Slowly, you kiss your way down his chest and stomach - until you’re kneeled in front of his opened legs.
Jungkook is breathing heavily in anticipation. Maybe it’s the sole sight of you biting your bottom lip as you manage to get his member free from his boxers and shorts that makes it throb. He has to gulp when he sees you spitting on his dick, the feeling of your spit trickling down his member making goosebumps roam his skin.
You hold his member and start to bump it slowly at first - which makes waves of pure pleasure wash over Jungkook, stunning his senses. He hisses when your lips envelop the head of his cock, sucking it. His eyes are half lidded, lips slightly parted, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps. He looks so beautiful as he’s being pleasured.
You start taking more of him inside your mouth until you feel him on your throat; Jungkook moans louder. You bob your head up and down his length, taking turns between sucking and bumping his member with your hand, your spit making it easier and producing obscene sounds. Jungkook hisses and groans and moans and then he’s grabbing your hair, making you take more of him inside your mouth. You don’t complain. You just want to make him feel the best he has ever felt.
This time, though, it’s being much quieter than what it usually is. Jungkook just swears a little under his breath. No dirty talking. 
His face and neck are covered with blush, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead, his face distorted with pure pleasure. His moans are getting more constant and louder. You wouldn’t mind if he cummed in your mouth right now, but Jungkook hisses and takes his hand off your hair.
“Oh my God- stop. Stop. Come here, babe.”
You decide to just do as he said. As soon as you prop your knees on each side of him, Jungkook sits up again and starts to get rid of your clothing hurriedly - first your pants, then your coat and shirt. When he unclasps your bra, he immediately takes one of your breasts on his mouth, making you moan quietly. His hand pushes your panties to the side to meet your already wet core; you moan louder as he gently caresses it. You unconsciously start moving your hips against his hand, his movements adding more pressure over your clit, his lips still licking and sucking your breasts.
Jungkook decides this was enough to get you wetter. He pushes your panties to the side, holds both sides of your hips as you guide his member to your entrance.
Both of you moan as he enters.
You close your eyes tightly, the feeling of being stretched by him so familiar and so delicious. Steadying yourself on his shoulders, you start to guide yourself up and down on him, never breaking eye contact, watching him carefully. Every deep moan coming from him makes you shiver. The pleasure, the sound of skin hitting skin - how many times have you done it before? You don’t even remember. Yet, right now, it somehow feels fresh and new. 
Maybe it’s because there’s more in Jungkook’s eyes than just lust. Maybe it’s because you notice how he watches you with adoration. And maybe it’s because you watch him with the same intensity, the same feeling.
Jungkook grabs the skin of your hips tightly as you increase your pace. He loves your face contorted in pleasure, he loves the sight of your boobs jumping at each move, he loves to feel the soft skin of your ass on his hand. He loves it. Both of you are really sweating now. You kiss him deeply, never decreasing your pace, your tongues entangling around each other, grabbing the strands of his hair.
God, how much he loves it.
He loves it much more now, because he sees how this time, he’s not the only one feeling something beyond physical pleasure. He knows you too damn well. It’s just like that morning at your house. You’re feeling it, too. 
You love him, too.
Thinking about it makes him smile. You think it’s simultaneously the hottest and the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.
Jungkook simply circles his arms around your waist and completely switches positions, throwing you on your back on the bed, which makes you giggle. He finally gets rid of your panties and hovers over you, thrusting inside of you once again.
His pace is fast and steady from the beginning. Your moans get higher and higher, louder and louder. You love how his face is so close to yours, how strongly he’s hitting you, how he tightly intertwines his fingers with yours (Jungkook really is the type to intertwine his hands when having sex!)
It’s ridiculous how you feel your eyes welling up with tears in a moment like this.
This moment… It’s not just bodies connecting - it’s souls. 
You used to think you and Jungkook didn’t match; you were opposites in many ways. Jungkook is an introvert, you are an extrovert. Jungkook prefers quiet places, you prefer parties. Jungkook works out, you’re too lazy to do so. Jungkook hates coffee. You can’t live without it.
But, it’s in this moment - when he’s inside of you, when all of your senses are stunned by pure pleasure, when everything you can smell is him and everything you can hear is the sounds of bodies against bodies and when everything you can see is his beautiful starry eyes looking right back at you - is when you realize how wrong you were all along.
You’re like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. They need to be different to match. They are different, but when you put them two together, they complete each other.
You’ve always matched.
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Seulgi didn't expect to find Jungkook standing in the kitchen when she came home.
Of course - you told her that the flight back home was scheduled at night and you'd probably arrive in the morning. This shouldn't be surprising. Yet, Seulgi still widens her eyes when she sees Jeon Jungkook cooking breakfast, his hair a mess, his face slightly swollen - an indication that he just woke up - wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.
He turns around and smiles. "Oh! Y/N didn't tell me you were coming back so early." He sounds a little bit surprised.
Seulgi notices it immediately.
That smile on his face and those gleamy eyes are just shown by someone that had a long, steamy and tiring night of sex.
Sure, Seulgi knows that you and Jungkook made up - and that you've been fucking for months now - but damn, it's still shocking to see it with her own eyes, considering that you only looked like good friends.
"I didn't know I'd come back early, too." Seulgi says, sitting by the tiny kitchen counter. She was expecting to spend the weekend at Irene’s penthouse, but she had to work. This is one of the reasons why Seulgi loves Irene; Irene could just enjoy her fortune and do nothing, yet, she decides to actively work for the company. She’s admirable.
"Do you want breakfast?" He asks over his shoulder.
"Well… I already had breakfast, but this is smelling really good." She admits. Jungkook nods and proceeds to prepare one more portion. She just watches in silence as he works around the kitchen (and she's also surprised that he knows where everything is, every pot, every spoon, literally everything). He hums quietly, that tiny satisfied smile never leaving his lips. 
Seulgi thinks she has never seen him so happy.
It's kind of adorable.
"So, how was your job?" She asks.
"It was great!" Jungkook says excitedly. He chuckles. "I thought I was going to be the assistant of the assistant, but actually I was everyone's assistant. I didn't really do much, but it was great anyways. It's totally different to study about it and see how things work in real life."
Before Seulgi says anything, she sees you coming from your bedroom.
Your face is swollen and your eyes are barely opened; it seems you're not even seeing where you're going. Your hair is a complete mess. You wear one of Jungkook's shirts and Seulgi suspects you're not wearing anything under it.
She watches as you walk on a beeline straight to Jungkook and hug him from behind, burying your face on his back.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" At least that's what she thinks you said, because your voice sounds muffled.
"Because you looked so funny that I didn't want to wake you up." He says softly. Seulgi can hear his smile. "You were drooling and all. I even took some pictures."
"You didn't."
"I did." Jungkook giggles when you punch his back, but still keep your body glued on him. 
"Fuck you. What are you cooking anyways? It smells too fucking good." You mumble.
"It's my special recipe." Jungkook moves to take something on the cabinet. You go along. "I can't cook if you keep smashing me like this."
"I don't caaare."
"Since when do you like hugging so much?"
"You didn't know girlfriend Y/N. Girlfriend Y/N likes long hugs."
Jungkook chuckles again. "Nice to meet you, Girlfriend Y/N."
Seulgi just stares, jaw dropped. From all the things she thought she’d see in her life, this is the most unexpected.
This is so cheesy. So not you. Not even when you were dating Mike you were like this. 
And Jesus- she has never seen you look happy like this.
You turn your head to look at Seulgi, and she watches awkwardly as you let go of Jungkook and proceed to walk in her direction. You kind of look like a really happy zombie.
“Oh, good morning, Seul. Don’t be jealous. I love you toooo.”
And you throw your arms around her shoulders, hugging her so tightly that she almost falls from the stool.
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The only person that doesn’t get shocked at your relationship is your mother.
You casually called her just to talk and gave the news. What she said?
“Well, finally.” 
Everyone else is utterly shocked.
When Hoseok saw you kissing each other goodbye the other day - it was just a peck - his eyes got so wide that it seemed they were about to pop out of his face. He stared at you and him, completely shocked, as Jimin just laughed. That was pretty much everyone’s reaction.
You and Jungkook were never the type to be too touchy. It’s still kind of awkward to hand hold in public or call each other things like babe or love. You physically cringe just thinking of calling him “babe”, honestly.
It’s weird, because you’re “officially” dating now, but your relationship isn’t all that different. All the overwhelming awkwardness between you is gone (thankfully), so now you do what you always did; you swear at each other, you have your violent ways of showing affection, he still ghosts you because he’s too busy playing whatever game. The only difference is that now you can fuck without feeling guilty (and oh boy, you’ve been fucking a lot these days) and there’s a lot of kissing. There wasn’t that much kissing back then.
You thought it was impossible, but sex is even better now. It’s more exciting and even funnier - especially because there’s no awkwardness weighting in the room after you both reach your climaxes. Instead, there’s giggles and hugs and soft kisses. You also sleep at each other’s places now, which is good.
To be honest, if you think really hard about it, you’ve been lowkey dating for years. It’s just that now, you fuck a lot. 
When you tell him this, Jungkook just chuckles. You don’t think he’s really listening to what you’re saying, though - nor you’re thinking straight anymore. You went out with your friends at a karaoke and, as expected, ended up drinking way too much; you and Seulgi had a singing competition in which none of you won (Irene just sat there looking absolutely embarrassed), Jimin sang a little bit but disappeared at some point (Jungkook said he noticed some hot guy in the side room), Hoseok got so emotional singing Haru Haru by BigBang that he started crying as Seokjin laughed so hard he almost choked, and Jungkook didn’t sing at all (because everybody knew he’s actually good at it and he would humiliate everyone else), until Jungkook silently asked if you wanted to leave (and you did) and you two left before anyone could notice (they were too drunk to notice anyway).
Since he’s drinking, you took a bus. The wrong bus. You’re at the other side of the city now, sitting on the bench of a park, watching the sun rise. It sounds romantic, but really, everything you see is heavy traffic and the grey pollution line in the horizon, almost blocking the sun.
Not that you care.
“We did everything backwards.” Jungkook says, his voice low and a little bit husky. His eyes look heavy because of the alcohol. You love how his hair is tied in a tiny ponytail. “People usually are friends first, then go out on dates, then they fuck.”
“We jumped straight to the fun part!” You say as if it’s obvious. He giggles again. 
Peaceful silence. Jungkook watches your intertwined hands sitting on his lap, a small smile on his face. You can see that, even though he’s right by your side, his mind must be far, far away. He’s clearly sleepy. It’s silly - you know this guy almost your entire life, you already have memorized each detail about him - but you can’t take your eyes off of him right now.
You inhale.
“You know.” You start absently. “I saw the video.”
Jungkook frowns and looks at you. “What video?”
You’re trying really hard to hold back a smile.
“I think it’s called euphoria final test I swear to God.”
His eyes widen.
“W-What? Who showed you?!” He groans. “Jimin. Oh my God- I’m gonna fucking kill him!”
You start laughing as you see blush creeping on his cheeks and ears. He hides his face behind his hands and moans painfully.
“Why are you so embarrassed?” You ask, endeared, trying to get his hands off from his face, but he won’t let you.
“You weren’t supposed to watch that! It’s- it wasn’t- ugh!”
“But the song is beautiful, Kook!” You try, still laughing.
“Yeah, the song is alright, but the video?”
“What’s wrong with the video?”
He finally side eyes you for a few seconds. The blush on his cheeks gets redder. He hides his face again, groaning.
“You weren’t supposed to find out about that. Shit, I can’t look at you anymore. I wanna fucking die.”
“Stop being so dramatic!” After a lot of effort, you finally manage to cup his face with your hands. Still, he avoids your gaze. “Hey, hey. Look at me!”
He does.
He looks sheepish and it’s adorable.
“I loved it. Every second of it. You’re so damn talented.”
“B-But I didn’t write the song alone… Namjoon takes most of the credits with the lyrics. I just helped a little bit. A-And you know, it was just for fun, it’s not an official demo or anything-”
He’s forced to shut up when you peck his lips.
“I love you.”
He knits his eyebrows a little bit.
“You like to say this a lot.” He notices quietly. “I didn’t know you were this type of person.”
“I’m not.” You agree. “But it’s because it’s you.”
You’ve been “officially” dating for, what, almost two weeks now? People usually don’t say “I love you” this early. But this isn’t the beginning for you two. It’s more like a progression. It feels natural, like it has always been with him.
It feels like home.
Jungkook avoids your gaze again. The blush hasn’t gone away. “I don’t know what to do when you say things like that- why are you crying?!”
It’s Jungkook’s time to laugh at you as you try to wipe the tears away. He pulls you to rest your head on his chest, hugging you tightly.
“I am supposed to be the emotional one here, not you.” He says, still laughing.
“Shut up. I’m drunk.” 
“Yeah, sure.” His laughter slowly dies until it’s just a quiet giggle. You feel his scent, hear the beating of his heart. Jungkook kisses the top of your head gently, caressing your back. “I’m gonna be so embarrassed when I remember I said this tomorrow,” he says softly against your hair. “But I think I’ve loved you ever since that first day of school when we bumped into each other on our way.”
You bury your face on his chest even more.
Everything around you is blurred and distant. It seems that nothing really matters besides right here, right now - as if you’ve never realized what you’ve been waiting for your whole life. This moment.
Him.
The puzzle is finally complete.
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losolvidad0s · 3 years
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Culebra, A. Reyes
Summary: When you learn of EZ’s DEA deal, your relationship with Angel is put on the line. 
warnings: swearing, a n g s t 😩 
word count: 1.7K
a/n: hi everyone! I am slowing jumping back into the writing groove so here is an angsty Angel Reyes fic that made my heart crack right down the middle, wahhh. Love my emo baby Angel. Enjoy! Thank you for +350 followers!
taglist: @cind-in-real-life  @kchavez666  @dearsamcrobae  @courtrae89 @cocotheclown  @brattyfics  @gemini0410  @angelreyesgirl  @jasmine10128  @briana-mishell24   @starrynite7114 @est1887  @joannasteez​  @amorestevens​  @bidenbussy​  @empireroyals​ (please let me know if you would like to be added or removed!)
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(gif belongs to @haydenpanettieres ✨)
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“Please, EZ, tell me this is some kind of sick joke.”
EZ looks at you with soft eyes, a defeated expression painted over his face as he remains stoic. If there was a chance this was a prank then you’d just wait til the boyish grin forms on his lips but that never comes. He brings his hands to hold the front of his kutte, a defense mechanism of his. 
A heaviness settles in your chest and the pit of your stomach as his words begin to replay in your mind. He tries to give you an apologetic look as you process everything. After a few moments, the worry turns into frustration then quickly to anger.
“I made a deal with the Drug Enforcement Administration that got my sentence reduced to half by becoming a part of the Mayans MC to get Intel on the Galindo Cartel.”
Your hands push against EZ’s chest, which he wasn’t expecting, causing him to stumble back. The shoves keep coming the angrier you get. “Y/N, stop.” He tries to get ahold on your wrist to stop you but the adrenaline fuels you to be quicker than him for a brief moment.
Eventually, he is able to grasp and hold your wrist steady between the two of you and as you try to break free, you cry out. “How could you? How could you do that to him? Why, EZ?!” The break in your voice when you scream his name makes him let go and step back. Your face now wet with tears, voice well on its way to becoming hoarse. 
“I had to, it was the only way. If I didn’t then..”
You scoff, “Then what? You’d have to finish your sentence? You choose to hurt your brother rather than finishing YOUR sentence that you got YOURSELF into? How selfish of you. You disgust me!” Your shoulder harshly collides with his as you walk off.
When EZ had asked to grab dinner, you didn’t expect it to end this way. After getting a bite to eat at a favorite food truck, he took a different route back to Angel’s apartment, saying he needed a friend. You thought it could be him needing to talk about how things have been hectic in the MC. Being a prospect and all.
“Y/N.” He calls out to you as you walk away from him in the darkness, you don’t go very far though. You feel defeated knowing all of this is only going to end one way, Angel’s heart being broken. You slowly turn back, “He’s gonna hate me.” Your voice barely above a whisper.  
This relationship with Angel has been a rocky one. It’s been on and off for the past year but when EZ was released from prison and began prospecting for the MC it somehow helped Angel to establish a foundation with you, opening his eyes in some way. He saw how loyal you were to him and that you were the only constant. But with this, that could jeopardize it all.
EZ watches you as a million thoughts run through your mind. He can see that you’ve been holding your breath for sometime now, “You can’t tell him.” You couldn’t believe you were saying it. Whose side are you on anyways? Would this be considered fraternizing with the enemy by asking him to keep quiet? 
His brows crease as he steps forward, “Whaddaya mean, Y/N? I have to, eventually. The DEA, they need intel and I don’t know how much longer I can keep this under the radar without risking someone getting caught under the bus. Me or them.”
“EZ, this will break him beyond repair. I can’t lose him to this. I worked very hard to get him to want me the way he does now. And the second he realizes I knew, I’m dirt to him. I can’t have that. So no, don’t tell him. You can figure out a way to keep this under water while still holding up your end of the bargain.” You plead to him, having moved closer. He searches your eyes and gently nods. A small smile appears on your lips as a rugged breath breaks through. EZ wraps his arms around you as you cry.
For a while, you thought this could all work out. It was going so well that you almost forgot about all of it. Then came the night where Angel mentioned something unexpected came up with the MC and that he’d be off the radar til the next day. It didn’t come off as worrisome with you as you’ve gotten used to these kinds of things. But then came the following morning. 
You were making your way to Angel’s apartment, surprising him with breakfast. As you go to knock the door opens and a visibly angry Angel is standing there, a pile of your clothes bundled in his arms. “Angel?”
“Ah. perfect timing, here.” He drops it at your feet with force and disappears into the apartment. You stand through shocked for a moment before stumbling over the clothes to follow him. You call out his name as you set down the bag and two coffees.  
He appears once again, more clothes and your bathroom bag. He flies it towards you, you trying to catch it but failing to. You have no idea what’s going on. But he mumbles something under his breath. Culebra. As if the air in the room suddenly begins to run out, barely any left to breath it hits you all at once. Angel continues to drop things at your feet.
“Angel…” You begin but he stops in front of you, his towering figure making you peer up at him. He starts to move towards you, an instinct of yours to keep out of harm's way and in this instant harm seems to be Angel. “Baby, talk to me.”
He bites his bottom lip, letting out a low chuckle, “I got nothing to say to you. In fact, it’s almost like when you had nothing to say to me. Boy scout and pops, I could see that coming. But you? Keeping a secret like that from me. For 2 fucking weeks?”
The venom is dripping off his tongue with hurt gleaming in his eyes.
You attempt to reach out and touch him, you being a physical lover rather than a verbal kind, but he pushes it away, “I trusted you, I opened my life to you despite being sketched out to do but I fucking did but you! You’re the one who can’t even be honest with me. It was always ‘It’s Angel’s fault, you dig yourself in these holes, Angel. Be real with me, Angel.’ But look, my own fucking girlfriend.”
The heat is literally radiating off him. But what excuse do you have? You shared his frustrations when EZ first told you but you became selfish and decided to keep quiet about it. You wanted the good times to keep rolling and because of the selfishness, it’s all crashing. 
Angel steps away from you, “I wanted to tell you. I did!”
“But you fucking didn’t. You choose him over me, you did that knowing it meant Ezekiel over Angel! No hesitation.’ He screams at you, pointing his fingers.
A sob falls from your lips as you see him breaking like a tide taking away a sandcastle. It hurts more than you imagined it would. The outcome of telling him would’ve been immensely better than this one. Why did you think it could all go away and never come to light?
“That’s not true! Of course I thought about it.. I was upset that he would do something like that to you, I truly was but,” You nearly stutter trying to get your words out. 
There were many occasions that you’ve seen Angel mad. Countless arguments, disagreements, petty acts but never like this. “But what? Hm? What, Y/N?!” He strides back over to you, getting in your face as you flinch back on instinct. 
You’re quiet, averting your eyes from him. “But then I’d lose you. That’s what I was scared of.”
Angel tilts his head, “That doesn’t even make any sense, Y/N. You think I would be angry at you because of what my brother did? I’m pissed because you knew and decided not to tell me. You walked around acting like you didn’t know. I have every right to be mad! And besides that, how fucking selfish of you, thinking of you and not how it would hurt me.”
“I was scared because your brother betrayed you, because by EZ doing this it would remind you of the hurt you felt growing up. It would make you feel like you used to… which means you would lose yourself, I would lose you right in front me. And I want all of you, good and bad, but w-we had just gotten to a good place. We weren't arguing as much a-and I had been slowly leaving more and more things here.” You look down at the articles of clothes scattered at your feet. 
Angel inhales a deep breath and lets it out forcibly. He looks to you then scratches his eyebrow, not knowing how to carry on the conversation. As your emotional distress begins to be felt physically, Angel takes your hand and holds it against his cheek.
This is something you both began to do when neither of you could speak. When the words wouldn’t form, couldn’t explain how you felt, the touch of  hand could do it. As he holds it against his cheek, you cry more. This meant that Angel understood.
As he brings your hand back down, you leap up to wrap your arms around his neck. He does the same around your waist, breathing in your scent. He closes his eyes as he sinks into you.
You won’t ever know what this moment meant for Angel. Despite feeling completely wrecked to learn what EZ had done, along with you keeping it in the dark, Angel feels wanted for the first time in a long time. Though true you wanted to protect yourself, you wanted to protect him more. To him, that’s enough to look past the wrong you did. He knows in this moment, you are truly the one for him.
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tyongxnct · 4 years
Text
𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑘 - 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝐽𝑎𝑒𝘩𝑦𝑢𝑛
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© tyongxnct on all platforms
summary: It was all about sex, but what happens when feelings grow and lust becomes love? What happens when you fall in love with your fuckbuddy?
genre: angst, smut, a little bit fluff // fwb!au, college!au
warnings: smut, a glass cut on (Y/n) foot, possible errors because I first wrote this stoy with Yeri (red velvet) as (Y/n) I tried to edit the story as much as possible
word count: 12k
A/N
It is finally happening. I finished my first story ever and posted it. Thank you for taking your time and reading this story I've came up with. I must admit, I'm a little scared, it's my first time publishing my own work. This is my first story and I'm so thankful for my friends, who helped me and supported me through this whole process of creating "Lovesick".
Thank you Jung Jaehyun for exisiting.
One last thing; I am probably going to write Taeyong and Seulgi's story as a spin-off, so If you are intersted, you can follow me and I'll keep you updated. :)
thanx
“We’re just friends. Friends who fuck. I don’t see the problem here? We both agreed on this, it’s just sex. No feelings, no emotions & nothing more than sex.”, he said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why her? You could fuck anybody. Why does it have to be a friend? How did you two even start this whole thing?”, Johnny and Jaehyun were leaning agains Jaehyun’s car as you walked over to them. But you stopped and listened to them. You had to know what Jaehyun felt about it.
Jaehyun remembers the first time you slept together very well. It was awkward but a good awkward. It just felt right and both of you needed it at that moment, so why not?
“It’s different, I can’t explain it.”
“So you like her?”, Johnny asked.
“Of course not! As a friend? Yeah. And that’s it. Nothing more.”, he sounded disgusted. Was he disgusted?
3 months ago
“I know I suck sometimes, but I never thought I am that horrible as a girlfriend.”, Yuta had just broken up with you and there you are, drinking your problems away. “Are you out of your mind? Just because that asshole told you some stupid stuff, he’s right? You are great, the best.”, Wendy was ready to fight Yuta.
Yuta and you met in your first year of high school and you’ve been together nearly a year, until he decided to break up because you ‘sucked’ as a girlfriend or maybe because he liked other girls sucking his dick more. Yeah, that happened before. You had caught Yuta and a random girl at a party and because he told you that he was too drunk to think and that he was sorry, you forgave him. You liked him too much to let go, which has been a problem since you were little. Letting go was too painful.
The second time you caught him, was with your roommate. Both sober as hell, but after he told you, that it was your roommate who jumped on him, you forgave him. Again. And now, after he cheated on her two times (maybe even more times, you didn’t know), he was the one who breaks up with you?
“Baby, I know you like him but you are worth so much more, right Jaehyun?!”, Wendy kicked Jaehyun’s leg under the table. Jaehyun who was sitting with his two friends couldn’t focus at the girls at that moment. He was thinking about his own broken heart. He didn’t talk about what had happened to him, you needed him, he tried to focus on you now, trying to forget his broken heart.
“Of course. You are too good for that fucking asshole. I’ve been telling you this since the day you introduced him as your boyfriend. I knew that he’s a bastard. And my offer to cut off his dick is still available, just saying.”, he finished his drink and saw their other friends coming in. “Let’s have fun tonight and forget about that stupid ass.”
“What about Dahyun? Isn’t she coming tonight?”, Wendy asked Jaehyun about his little crush, but little did she know that his little crush started dating someone. “No, she told me that she’ll be home for the weekend.”, and technically that wasn’t a complete lie. She was gone for the weekend, but not home.
Johnny, Joy, Mark and Doyoung came to your table and the mood got a little better. You stopped thinking of your broken heart and so did Jaehyun.
Later that night, they said their goodbyes and Jaehyun took you home. He always did. Not only because your apartment (in which you lived alone after that incident with your so called roommate) was not even 5 minutes away, it was because he wanted to keep his friend safe. He couldn’t sleep since you’ve known each other for so long, he needed to make sure your were home and safe.
You were infront of the building and you didn’t want to leave him. Youb felt alone and so did he. “Jae something’s wrong right?”, you turned to him. “What do you mean?”, he knew that you noticed that he was behaving different tonight.
“Do you want to come in and drink some cocoa with me?”, you knew that he would never say no to cocoa.
You were sitting on your balcony, with a glass of warm cocoa in your hands and a blanket around them. It’s not the first time that you were this close, but you were just friends, even though others didn’t believe that, but it was true. Just friends.
“Tell me what happened.”, you said after taking a sip. “It’s nothing- just- okay. Dahyun’s dating someone.”, saying this out loud hurt a little more and felt more real.
“Oh. I didn’t know, I’m sorry. I know you liked her.”
“It’s okay, I guess, maybe it’s my fault. I should have told her how I feel. But it doesn’t matter anymore.”, he looked up to the beautiful stars.
“No! It’s not your fault. She must’ve been blind. You are fucking great. There are so many girls who would do anything to be with you. You should wait a little, maybe it’s nothing serious. I don’t think that she’d start dating someone after spending so much time with you.”, you tried to cheer your friend up, nearly forgetting about your own heart.
You put your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. “Maybe love isn’t something for us.”
“Maybe you are right.”, he closed his eyes too, and pulled you a little closer. Suddenly you felt warmer under the blanket, both of you thinking it was the cocoa, although it was your heart. You fell asleep in that position and you felt safer than ever before.
It’s been two weeks since Yuta broke up with you and you didn’t know how to feel. Of course you were hurt, but now you and Jaehyun were the only singles in your friends group which is why you’ve been spending more time together than before. He made you forget about him and you made him forget about her.
“I bought some wine and chinese takeout.”, he put the bags on the kitchen counter. “Perfect.”, you took out two wine glasses and chopsticks. The couch was ready for you and the movie, too.
“What are we watching tonight?”, he asked you, sitting down on the couch next to you. “Since tonight I’m choosing, we’re gonna watch 'My best friends wedding’ !”, you loved romantic comedies and he knew that you loved it so he watched it with you.
“He fucking loves her, like, he should just marry Julia Roberts. Man, what an idiot.”, while Jaehyun was angry at he ending of the movie, you were crying your eyes out. “Everytime I watch this movie I feel my heart breaking.”
You snuggled up to Jaehyun and he smiled at you. “You look ugly when you cry.”
“Ass.”, you got up, a little to fast, and fell back on his lap, Jaehyun pushes you away, because he felt you on his, well, on his dick. “How much wine- three bottles?! When did we drink so much?”, you got back up, not noticing that you just sat on his dick and cleaned the table. “You drank non stop, you didn’t even share with me.”, he helped you, taking the glasses with him to the kitchen, trying to ignore that you just sat on his dick.
Both of you tipsy, maybe even a little drunk, fell back on the couch, you put her head on his thigh and Jaehyun thought you were about to do something else “God- what are you doing?”, he pushed you, a little to hard, and you fell on the floor. “What the fuck Jaehyun? I was just laying down?”
You didn’t get up from the floor, sitting kind of between his legs, looking up at him. You were too tipsy to get back up. He had a perfect view, if he was honest.
“I thought- well, you.. shut up.”, he looked away, a girl was between his legs, looking up to him like you were about to suck his dick. It was already past midnight and you were a little sleepy, you yawned and that was too much for him. You looked ready, as if you were doing this on purpose.
“Stop it.”, he was hard. “What?- J-Jaehyun are you.. uhm.. are you hard?”, you looked at the bulge in front of your eyes and then back at him. “N-No?”, his ears got a little red and he took a pillow to hide his hard dick. “Why would you- oh..”, you got up and sat down, next to him. “Sorry I didn’t want to.. uhm.. you know.”
“N-No it’s alright.. I know that I’m hot.”, you teased him. His head turned to you. “Come on, yo did that on purpose didn’t you?”
“Are you crazy? No? I’m drunk?”, your eyes going slowly down to his hand on the pillow. You tried to focus on him but you must admit, it made you horny. Thinking that Jaehyun was horny next to you, because of you, made you horny.
“When was the last time you did it with a girl?”, you asked.
“It’s been.. a while.”
You looked at each other.
“Does it.. uhm hurt? I mean it looks unconfortable in those jeans.”
“A little.. I guess..”
Awkward silence.
“When was your last time?”, he asked you he slowly put the pillow away.
“A.. a couple months ago..”, it was with Yuta a couple months ago, before he cheated on you the first time.
“Do you.. I mean. uhm, do you want to do something about it?”, you looked down and then back up. “Do you?”, he asked you back.
“W-what?”, you heared him but you thought it was your imagination. “I asked.. if you want to do something about it.”, maybe it was the wine, maybe the pain.
But right then and there it didn’t matter, nothing mattered.
You nodded slowly and he pulled you on his lap, hands on your butt, both still looking deep into your eyes. You felt him pull you down to his crotch, to feel how hard you made him. “It’s just sex.”, he said. “Just sex.”, you agreed and then your lips met. First it was slow and careful. Your hands on his strong chest, slowly going down. His hand on your thigh, holding you tight and then his hand got under your shirt, his hand meeting your breast. You gasped with his touch and he used the opportunity to put his tongue into your mouth.
With your hands you opened his belt and unzipped his jeans. Jaehyun pulled your shirt over your head, looking at your beautiful breasts. You felt shy, it was the first time, he saw so much of your skin. He looked back into your eyes and then he leaned in to suck on your breast, your nipples getting harder and more senitive, you let out a moan and your head fell back.
His other hand playing with your other nipple. He kissed you up and stopped on your neck, kissing and sucking your skin. You hands in his hair, pulling it softly.
“I want you to fuck me, Jaehyun.”, you said, while you slowly moved your hips. He was harder than before. “Okay, I’ll fuck you.”, his hands back on your ass, he got up and made his way to your bedroom. He put you on the bed, looked down with his eyes full of lust and undressed himself. He was standing infront of you, completly naked looking like a greek god.
You also removed your clothes and looked at him. It was just sex. Sex between two horny friends.
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, (Y/n). You won’t forget who made you feel so good.”, he was at the edge of the bed and kissed his way up to your pussy. He looked at your pussy and then back to you, not breaking the eyecontact as he slowly kissed every inch of your pussy. He sucked you so good, you thought you’d faint and as he put two fingers at once in you, you were moaning louder than ever before. “Fuck Jaehyun-”
He was fast and deep, hitting your g-point with every push. “Jaehyun- I’m gonna come, god!”, and the he stopped. “What the fuck?”, you were about to hit your climax. “I want you to come when I’m inside of you.”, he said with his husky voice.
“Do you want me to suck you off- holy shit!”, he didn’t need to get sucked off. He was hard enough to fuck you like that. “Fuck.”, he hissed as he sucked on your skin.
“Oh my god, Jaehyun! Fuck!”, he was fast and deep, hitting your right spot. “So fucking tight.”, it was too much for both of you, you were clenching around his dick and he was so big. It didn’t take long for both of you to come.
“I’m- fuck- I’m coming, oh god.”
“Me too, fuck. Fuck.”, and you came together. Both of you breathed heavily and were sweating. “Fuck I came in you.”, Jaehyun said as he rolled over.
“I-It’s okay, I’m on the pill, fuck.”
He went to the bathroom and got a towel, to clean you up. “Thank you.”
Jaehyun und you were too exhausted to talk about what just happened so you fell asleep next to each other.
Next day
He was the first to wake up. Jaehyun rubbed his eyes and looked down on him. He was naked, but why? Like a flash everything that happened last night was infront of his eyes. How he fucked his friend, and how good it felt. He looked to the left, you were still asleep and naked. Jaehyun tried to look away but you looked beautiful.
He couldn’t leave. If he left, you would think he regretted it or something- but he didn’t. He dressed up and decided to make breakfast.
Half an hour later you woke up. Your face red and your right side cold. Did he leave? Was your friendship over now? When Jaehyun suddenly opened the door, you looked silently at each other, until you noticed that you were still naked.
“Uhm.. I made breakfast.”, he kind of looked away and you took the blanket to cover yourself. It was so awakward. “'Okay. J-Just give me a second.”, you  waited for him to leave but he didn’t get it.
You looked at each other for a couple seconds until he got it. “Oh, yeah, sorry.”,
“What the fuck, Jaehyun.”, he said to himself as he sat down at the dining table. You dressed up and went to the kitchen, you couldn’t walk properly. “Hi.”, you said as you sat down. “Hey.”
None of you talked. Youjust ate and looked down on your plate. After a couple minutes it was too much. “So we had sex.”, he said and looked at you.
You didn’t think he’d be so straight forward about it. “Uh, yeah.”
Awkward silence again.
“I can’t feel my legs.”, you said it to break the ice. He laughed at that “Sorry. Uhm.. You know it was just sex right? It’s not such a big deal. There are so many people who are friends and have sex, right?”, he asked as if he needed confirmation.
“Yeah of course. It’s like hanging out and watching a movie.”, did you just say sex is like watching a movie?
“You are absolutley right.”
Now it was just silence.
“W-would you do it again?”, you asked him, looking directly into his eyes. “Y-Yeah? I mean, we are friends, and sex is great? Why wouldn’t we do it again, right? No stupid feelings to confuse us. Just having a good time with a friend.”, it sounded so right, but was it?
“So we are like, friends with benefits now?”, you kind of liked the idea.
“If you want to.”
“Yeah, let’s do it.”
“Now??”, he was about to have a bite of his toast. “No, idiot, I mean let’s do the friends with benefits thing.”
“Oh, right. Give me your hand.”
You looked at him confused but still gave him your hand. He took your hand and looked into your eyes. “Sex, with no complicated feelings or stupid emotions, just sex. Two friends helping out each other.”
You nodded. “Just sex.”
And then you shook hands.
And that’s how the most complicated relationship started.
One month later
It’s been one month and nobody knew about the little thing between you and Jaehyun. When you hung out with your friends you were like how you were before the friends with benefits thing. Of course, you spent time together like before, watching movies and eating takeout food, but having sex whenever you felt like it. Sometimes you’d lie to your friends when you went to a party and would secretly fuck in the bathroom, or in his car, or sometimes in Johnny’s room when he was throwing another houseparty.
Just like right now.
“Fuck, (Y/n).”, you were on your knees sucking Jaehyun’s dick. The music at the party was too loud too hear his moans upstairs and the people too drunk to think of their two friends who were missing.
“You take my dick so well. I’m gonna fucking come inside of your pretty mouth.”, and so he did. You sucked him clean and were breathing heavily.
He softly pulled you up and kissed you. “I want to fuck you.”, he said as he placed kisses on your neck. “I want you to fuck me too-”, they were interrupted as someone tried to open the door. Luckily it was locked. “What the fuck?!”, Johnny yelled as he knocked on the door.
“Fuck.”, Jaehyun hissed and held your hand, he was so nervous and scared, he thought you’d get caught. “Jaehyun? What are you doing in my room?”, Johnny heared Jaehyun swearing. “John.. uhm I’m kinda busy in here.”
“Are you fucking jerking off in my bedroom?!”, Johnny yelled louder.
“No, you idiot.. I’m here with a girl.”, he yelled back. You looked down to your hands. “If you fucking make a mess on my bed I’m killing you.”, Johnny yelled before Joy could pull him to another room, well, to have sex, too.
Jaehyun didn’t notice how close he pulled you and how he held your hand. But as soon as he heared Johnny leaving he let go. “Woah that was fucking close.”
“Maybe we should leave.”, you said.
“Let’s stay a little longer, I don’t want them to notice anything. But fuck- let me make you come with my fingers now, and later I’ll fuck you so good. Is that alright for you?”, he was so gentle, even though he talked about fucking you, he always made sure you were okay with everything.
You smiled at him. “It’s alright, I can wait until we are home.” Even though it was unnecessary at that moment, he kissed you on the lips and opened the door. “Okay, baby, you can go out first, I’ll follow you a couple minutes later.”
You nodded and slowly looked outside, there was nobody and with that you ran out of the room.
Something felt strange. When he hold your hand and kissed you, you never kissed except while having sex. Weird.
Johnny’s house was big, he was a little rich, he’d say, the best college parties were at his house. You got yourself a drink and went to Mark and Doyoung. “Thought you went home.”, Mark said to you as you sat down next to him. “I was just getting some fresh air.”
A couple minutes later Jaehyun came back, he sat down, next to them and Mark and Doyoung wiggled their eyebrows at him. “Johnny texted us that you got some pussy.”, you chocked on her drink. They all looked at you “Sorry, too much vodka.”
“Johnny needs to shut the fuck up.”, Jaehyun said.
“Soo, who’s the lucky girl?”, they asked him, it was so awkward.
“None of your business.”, he took Doyoungs drink and finished it.
“She was that bad? Sorry man.”
“No she’s perfect.”, Jaehyun suddenly said. “I mean, it was great, now shut the fuck up or I’ll kick your asses.” Jaehyun looked away from the three. You were taken aback. He thought that you were perfect? How? Why? You?
As you looked away you noticed a familiar face coming to your direction.“Hey guys. Hey Jaehyun.”, Jaehyun looked to the owner of that voice. It’s been a while since he saw or talked to Dahyun.
“Yo Dahyun! Come sit with us.”, Mark invited her. “Sure, thanks.”, she was sitting next to Jaehyun and the two were sitting infront of you. It felt weird to look at them together. You didn’t like it.
Too caught up in your thoughts, you looked down on your legs, trying to ignore the hand on Jaehyun’s thigh which didn’t belong to you. It belonged to Dahyun, his crush. Did he like it? Did he want to have sex with her?
“Dahyun, babe. Let’s go.”, there he was, Dahyun’s boyfriend. Why would a girl with a boyfriend touch another man like that? You were angry.
“Sure baby. It was nice seeing you guys.”, she waved at you before she left with her boyfriend. Jaehyun didn’t know what to feel. Was he jealous? Did he even care? He didn’t know and he actually didn’t care.
“Do you want to go home, too?”, he softly asked you. “Yes, please.”
After saying goodbye to your friends, you left the party. None of you talked on your way home.
Back in your apartment, you took off your heels and went to your bedroom. You weren’t sure if you were going to have sex. Maybe he didn’t want to have sex with you. Maybe he wanted to have sex with Dahyun.
He closed her door and followed you to your bedroom. You were standing infront of your full body mirror and turned around to see the zipper on her back. Jaehyun saw you struggling with it and walked to you and turned you around. You looked at him through the mirror, how he slowly pulled the zipper down. He was looking at you now, right into your eyes. You could feel his breath on your skin and it gave you goosebumps.
He pushed one strap of your dress down and pressed little kisses on your skin, not breaking the eye contact. Then he pushed the other strap down and your dress fell down on the floor, exposing your body. You weren’t wearing a bra, just black lace panties. He looked up and down and his other hand found his way to your heat. Slowly playing with your clit and still kissing and sucking on her skin.
He pushed two fingers inside, faster and deeper than ever. You watched him fingering you and so did he. You could feel his hard member poking your ass and it became harder to stand as he fucked you so good with only two fingers. You closed her eyes and moaned. “Fuck.”
Jaehyun stopped fucking you with his fingers. “Open your eyes and watch me fucking you so well with my fingers, or I won’t make you come.”
You opened your eyes and looked at him. He was rough, you liked it.
He started fucking you harder with his fingers, It was hard to stand but he held you. He’d hold you and never let go.
“Fuck Jaehyun. I’m coming, oh god.”, with that you came on his fingers. He pulled his fingers out of your pussy and sucked on them, his eyes never leaving yours.
“I’m going to fuck you with my dick now, Can you stand a little longer for me, baby? Mhm? I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, but you have to stand for me, is that okay for you?”, he was back to being gentle. “Yes. Please just fuck me.”
He took of his clothes and his dick was so fucking hard. Without a warning he pushed his complete length into you. “Oh fuck!”, his hands were holding you tight, he would leave bruises that was sure. Jaehyun fucked you from behind and you two looked at each other through the mirror.
“Fuck.”, he pushed in and out hitting your soft spot so hard. “Tell me, baby, who makes you feel so good?”
“You-! You Jaehyun. Fuck you are so big and deep inside of me, fuck.”
“Just like that baby, You take my dick so well in your tight pussy, (Y/n). Your pussy feels so good.”
One of his hands cupped your breast and played with it while the other still held you tight. “Fuck I’m gonna come.”
“Me too baby, come with me.” and with one last look at each other, you both came like never before. He filled you up with so much cum, as he pulled his dick out of you, it drippet down your legs.
“J-Jaehyun, I can’t feel my legs.”, you fell into his arms. “I’m sorry, baby. Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?”, He laid you on the bed and looked at you with concern in his eyes.
“N-No I liked it.. it’s just.. You were never this rough before.. Was it because.. Uhm.. Because of her?”, you asked him while he cleaned you up with a towel.
“I.. I don’t know. Maybe. I’m sorry that I let it out on you.”, he took the blanket and covered your naked bodies. “Do you still like her?”
He was silent for a moment. He thought about it. Did he still like her? He didn’t know to be honest.
“I don’t know. Let’s not talk about it now.”
You nodded and snuggled up to him, it was just sex but both of you liked to cuddle, just sex with a little cuddling.
Two months later
Everyone thought you were dating, even though nobody knew of your friends with benefits part. It was because of your relationship in general. You were touchy, not too touchy, even though you tried to leave space when you were with your friends. But you did everything together. You laughed together, cried together, even your little fights were cute. Joy knew that there was more than just being friends. friends didn’t act like that.
“So.. You and Jaehyun?”, one day Joy said, when you went shopping together.
“W-what do you mean?”, you hoped that they didn’t notice anything.
“So you guys are a couple right?”
“Uhm no? Why would you think that?”, you were driving to your aparment.
“The way yo two talk to each other or look at each other or just act towards each other in general. It’s so obvious that you guys like each other.”, Joy said casually.
“What are you talking about? You got it wrong, we don’t like like each other, we’re just friends with- I mean just friends. fuck..”, you were about to get out of the car, but Joy was faster and closed the doors.
“Stop right there.”, she said. “What the fuck were you about to say?!”
“Nothing?”
“I swear to god, If you don’t tell me what you were about to say. I’ll never talk to you again.”
“Fine! Bitch. We are something like friends with benefits. Are you happy now?”
“What the fuck are you saying?! You guys have sex?! Johnny said that it was possible but I thought it was just like dating, holy fuck. How is he?”, she wiggled her eyebrows.
“Oh fuck off! We promised not to tell anyone. Don’t you fucking tell Johnny!”
“I won’t tell him if you tell me how Jaehyun is in bed.”
“Fuck, fine! He’s like a fucking greek god. Sometimes he’s so fucking soft but the good soft and sweet and other times he fucks me I sometimes think I’m going to faint.”
“You mean like vanilla sex?”
“No like.. he says sweet things to me and is so gentle, kisses me everywhere, he makes sure i feel safe and good, like that kind of soft.”
“Baby, do you really think that sex is without emotions and feelings? Because it’s not. Sex is an emotion itself, I’d say. The soft sex you just described is to feel each other. He wants to make you to feel good because he cares. And you honey, you just talked about having sex with him like marrying him.”
Youu looked down, was Joy right? She couldn’t be. She shouldn’t be. You had a deal. It said just sex, but sex was an emotion. You felt feelings when you were with him, no matter while having sex or cooking.
“Oh hell no. Joy, I can’t let this happen. We made a deal, just sex!”, you were about to go mad.
“Baby, don’t worry, It’s not just You, I can feel it in my bones that Jaehyun’s feeling the same way. You’ll see tonight at the party. I’ll prove it to you. Now get out and get fucking dressed. You have to look hotter than ever before. Trust me.”
“Okay, I will.”
And you did, you wore a short silk red velvet dress. You never wore something like that before. It was Johnny’s birthday party so you were going alone because Jaehyun needed to help Johnny to get the house ready. It was a little after 8 when you arrived.
You got out of your car, pulling your dress a little down, then a little up to cover yourself a little better, but it was hard, the dress was too short. You got inside of the house and looked out for Joy. Your eyes met and Joy’s mouth fell open.
“Holy fuck. I said hot but this is beyond hot. God there’ll be so many dicks offered for you tonight.”, Joy winked at her. “Yo Joy- Holy shit, (Y/n), what in the world. Yo Doyoung look at her!”, Mark’s eyes were wide and now Doyoung’s too.
“Uhm, guys, it’s not my first time wearing a dress.”, you said, a little awkward.
“Yeah but, wow.”, Mark said eyes still wide. “Stop staring you pervert.”, Doyoung pulled mark with him. “Joy what’s taking you so long-”, Jaehyun came out of the kitchen, looking for Joy, but his eyes met yours. You in such a dress. Could you call that a dress? Your legs were nearly completely open and your neck, he scanned your body and saw that you tried to hide the hickeys he gave you. That was a mistake, he thought.
“Hi, Jaehyun.”, you said casually, well you tried to be.
“Uhm, hey. Joy, uh, Johnny’s looking for me. I mean for you, not me. You, his girlfriend.”, he couldn’t take his eyes off you, he saw you naked so many times, but everytime it felt like the first time.
“Thanks Jaehyun, I’ll see you guys later, and oh, (Y/n), there’s someone I’d like to introduce you to later.”
“What do you mean?”, Jaehyun asked before you could. “Oh just an old friend, who’s single, just like our (Y/n). I think it’s time for her to date again, don’t you think so Jaehyun?”, she tested him, but you were also curious of how he’d react.
“I don’t know. If she feels like it, why would I have to say something on that?”, he was awkward, and obvious, Joy could see through him.
“Yeah, right. I’ll see you guys later.”
Joy left you two standing there. You looked him and he looked at the floor. “Uhm, do you want to drink something?”, he asked you, still looking away.
“Sure.”, you tried to act calm, but you weren’t. Not only you looked amazing, he looked great, too. But for you, Jaehyun even looked great with just a hoodie. While you were still on your first drink, Jaehyun was already on his third. He tried to ignore the stares on your legs, or anywhere on your body. It made him angry, for whatever reason. He didn’t know why. But the worst is yet to come.
It was 11 when Joy pulled you away from her friends to introduce you to someone. Someone who wasn’t Jaehyun.
“So this is my friend I told you about, (Y/n), and this is an old friend of Johnny, Taeyong.”, Joy introduced you two. “Nice to meet you, you are prettier than Joy told me.”, he shook your hand slightly smiling at you.
“Nice to meet you, too. And thank you. Joy didn’t tell me anything about you, I’m sorry, right Joy?”, you glared at her. “Well now you guys can get to know each other, I’ll leave you alone, bye.”
Joy went back to your friends and saw Jaehyun staring at you and Taeyong. He was boiling, he didn’t know why, but he could punch a wall. Or Taeyong. Preferably Taeyong.
“They look good together, don’t you guys think so? He’s a really great guy, I think they could be a cute couple.”, Joy’s eyes wandered to Jaehyun who just finished his fourth drink, well he couldn’t remember, he lost count. “I think he looks like a fucking piece of shit.”, talking to himself, but Joy heard him.
Jaehyun looked back to you, you looked ethernal, but you smiled too often. Everytime Taeyong’s mouth moved you laughed. Why would you laugh? What was so funny?
“I think something is wrong with me.”, he said to Joy. “Yeah, it’s called jealousy.”, she said not so loud but he still heard it. He ignored her and got up to get another drink. He couldn’t stand looking at you having fun with someone else.
Thinking alcohol would stop that ache in his chest, he drank so much that night. As Taeyong put his hand on your knee, he had enough. He stood up, not caring if anybody was looking, went to you and took your wrist in his hand. “That’s enough for tonight. We are leaving.”
“Do you know that guy?”, Taeyong asked, hand still on your knee. You didn’t understand what was happening right now. “Uhm- I.. what?”
“Put your fucking hand away if you don’t want me to fucking break it.”, he pointed at Taeyong’s hand. “Who the fuck are you? Her boyfriend?”, Taeyong asked, while his hand got higher on your thigh. “Yes I fucking am you son of a bitch.”, Jaehyun let go of your and pushed Taeyong back.
“Jaehyun-”
Taeyong stood up and pushed him, too but Jaehyun was too drunk and If you didn’t hold him, he’d be on the floor. “If she’s your fucking girlfriend then act like her fucking boyfriend, you fucker. Sorry, (Y/n). I’ll see you around.”, Taeyong glanced at Joy and winked at her. Joy’s plan worked. She couldn’t hear anything because of the crowd and the music but the sign was enough.
“Let me take you home, okay?”, you looked up into Jaehyun’s eyes who was already looking at you.
He nodded and you brought him to her car, luckily you didn’t drink more than a little cup and were able to drive. None of you spoke, both of you confused as hell, Jaehyun kind of awake and asleep.
He called you his girlfriend. Did he mean it? You had so many thoughts and questions.
When they arrived you helped him out of the car and up to your apartment. You carried him to the couch and he fell on it. “I’ll make you some coffee.”
You left him in the living room and made him some coffee. You poured it into the cup but two hands stopped you. “I don’t need coffee.”, he whispered in your ear.
You wanted to turn around but you were trapped between his arms and his chest. “J-Jaehyun.”
“You shouldn’t have worn this dress, (Y/n).”, he said and gripped your waist, holding you tight.
“You shouldn’t have covered up those hickeys I gave you, (Y/n). They look so pretty on you.”, he turned you around and you felt so small infront of him. He looked down on youand she couldn’t look up to meet his eyes. His finger slightly stroked your neckline, where he placed the hickeys.
“They would show everyone that you aren’t fucking available. That you are fucking mine, (Y/n).”, he put his finger under your chin and slowly pushed your face up. “Are you mine, (Y/n)?”, you looked at each other. It was like music to your ears, to hear that he was jealous and that you were his.
“Yes I am.”
“Who do you belong to?”, he wanted, no, he needed to hear it.
“I belong to you, Jaehyun. Only you.”
You needed him. So much. “Good girl.”, he leaned in and kissed you. Like it was the last time. Like he would never taste you again.
That night it wasn’t just sex. It was loving each other, and feeling each other.
He kissed you, slowly and with so much passion. You wrapped your legs around his hips and he carried you to your bedroom. Jaehyun’s lips never left yours. The only light source in your room was the moonlight, shining brightly on you. He slowly undressed you and kissed every inch of your exposed neck, leaving little love bites.
You closed her eyes and let Jaehyun take control of your body. You were already wet enough, he couldn’t wait to be inside of you. Jaehyun needed you and you needed him. He was hovering above you and looked you in the eyes. Jaehyun slowly got inside of you, his eyes never leaving yours.
With one hand on your cheek, he stroked you and started kissing you again. You moaned into the kiss and opened your legs further to feel him closer. No words were exchanged, only heavy breathing and moaning could be heared.
The next morning when you woke up, you were alone. Jaehyun wasn’t in the bathroom nor in the kitchen, for the first time, he left. You were scared, a little, scared that he didn’t mean any of this. You loved him. You were so in love with him.
You wanted to give him a little time, you thought talking about last night with Joy would calm you a little down. Little did you know you weren’t the only one who thought it would be helpful to talk to someone.
“We’re just friends. Friends who fuck. I don’t see the problem here? We both agreed on this, it’s just sex. No feelings, no emotions & nothing more than sex.”, he said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why her? You could fuck anybody. Why does it have to be a friend? How did you two even start this whole thing?”, Johnny and Jaehyun were leaning agains jaehyuns car as she walked over to them. But she stopped and listened to them. She needed to know what Jaehyun felt about it.
Jaehyun remembered the first time they slept together very well. It was awkward but a good awkward. It just felt right and both of them needed it at that moment, so why not?
“It’s different, I can’t explain it.”
“So you like her?”, Johnny asked.
“Of course not! As a friend? Yeah. And that’s it. Nothing more.”, he sounded disgusted. Was he disgusted?
“I don’t think that you are telling the truth. Did you see yourself last night? You were about to rip off Taeyong’s head, even though Joy planned the whole jealousy thing.”, Jaehyun remembered lats night pretty well. How he talked to you and what he said to you.
“You know, just because Yuta fucked her up I’m not the one who’s going to play her knight in a shining armor. I liked the sex, yeah. It helped me to forget about Dahyun she propably did the same with me because of him.”
“You used me to forget about her?”, Johnny and Jaehyun turned their heads and saw you looking at them. Hurt war written all over your face and tears were running down your cheeks. “I’ll leave you two alone.”, Johnny left you two, hoping that they would talk through everything.
“I uhm I didn’t know that you were listening..”, Jaehyun said. “What? If you knew would you call me your girlfriend again? Would you call me yours again?!”, you yelled at him.
“Stop yelling around. You are overreacting.”, Jaehyun tried to calm you down but he did the opposite. “Overreacting?! You fucking used me!”
“First of all, the things I said last night.. I only said that because I was drunk and horny. And second don’t act like you didnt use me too!”, you couldn’t believe your ears.
“I never used you like that. You were my friend. I wanted to be with you because I felt safe and loved! I didn’t even think once about Yuta, not even the first night! Y-You are so disgusting I can’t believe I fell in love with you!”, you yelled under tears.
“You- what? We made a fucking deal.”
“Go fuck you and fuck your damn deal!”, you pushed him away, even though you felt so weak. “I don’t want to see you ever again- you.. you- I can’t believe you. You destroyed this friendship or what the fuck this was all about. Just because that fucking bitch didn’t love you you didn’t have the right to use me!”
“Don’t call her that!”
“You are defending her now?! How can you be so blind?!”, Jaehyun glared at you, he was fucking furious.
“I am the blind one?! Your fucking boyfriend fucking cheated on you hundred times but you still went back to him! If I didn’t fuck you, you would go back to him, because your are so easy to fuck-”, you slapped him with the little power you had.
“Yeah I went back to him, not only once. But to you, I would never come back to you. I’d rather die.”, his hand was on his cheek, you just slapped him, he knew he desereved it, he really did.
You turned around and left him standing there, his hand on his cheek, all alone.
On your way home, you hoped that a car would run you over, to stop the pain. You always thoght that Yuta broke your heart, but this time, it really broke. It was the worst pain you have ever felt, your vision blurry, hands trembling, you opened the door to your home and fell on your knees and cried your heart out.
Jaehyun was scared. Scared to admit that he actually loved you, too. It didn’t make any sense to him. You were friends, nothing more nothing less. Well, that was once. Now he had lost not only his best friend but also the girl he actually loved. He was a real asshole, Jaehyun said things he shouldn’t have but it was too late now..
You didn’t show up to class. You didn’t even go to classes you didn’t share. You also kind of ignored your other friends, sometimes Joy called you but you weren’t in the mood. It’s been a week since your fight with Jaehyun and the only thing your’ve done so far was getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. You hated your apartment, everything reminded you of him.
Jaehyun noticed your absence. You never skipped classes, what if something had happened to you? No, Johnny would have told him.
“Hey Jaehyun, uhm, are you free tonight?”, it was Dahyun. He was sitting in class, minding his own business as she approached him. “Yeah, sure.”, why did she ask him if he was free? “Cool, I thought that we could go out and I don’t know, have dinner together?”, she smiled at him.
“You mean, uhm, like a date?”, he asked her and she nodded, her face slightly red. “But, what about-” “It’s over, well, it wasn’t a serious relationship in the first place, but whatever we can talk tonight about that, if you want to.”
“I’d love that.”
Jaehyun has a date tonight, he felt excited.. right?
A week later they were officially dating.
Nobody told you, too scared to hurt you more. Joy visited you sometimes and tried to get you out of the bed, but it was hard. “Come on, let’s go eat something. You have nothing here, aren’t you starving?”, Joy looked through your kitchen.
“I’m not feeling well. We can go to the supermarket If you want to make food, my last offer.”, and that was enough for Joy, she’d finally got you out of your apartment.
With sweatpants and a hoodie (which belonged to Jaehyun but you didn’t care) you went to the nearest supermarket. “I’ll look for some fruits for you, alright? Be right back.”, Joy thought that you needed some vitamins. And you really did. “Yeah, sure why not.”
While going through the supermarket with the shopping cart, you looked on the floor, not noticing that you hit something, well a someone, someone too familiar. “Oh sorry-”, you looked up and saw Jaehyun after so much time, it felt like forever. He stopped his movements and looked back at you. You looked, well, your eyes were red and you looked much thinner. But there were no emotions on your face. Of course he was here, the supermarket was in the middle of your homes and destiny hated you.
“Baby did you find the- oh hey (Y/n). It’s been so long.”, Dahyun came from behind, held Jaehyun’s hand and leaned against him. “H-Hi, yeah.”, your eyes wandered to their hands, Dahyun was holding tight, marking her territory.
“Are you alright? You look so, uhm, I don’t want to be rude, but you know what I mean, right? Were you sick? You weren’t in class either.”, did she just call you ugly? “Yeah, uhm, I was- am, still, sick.-”
“I got you some apples and strawberries and also- oh, uh, hi?”, Joy came with her hands full.
“You know you can come and have dinner with us two, right baby?”, Dahyun was fucking doing it on purpose.
“What? I don’t think that-”, he started but you interrupted him. “You know, we are really sorry but we are going on a doubledate tonight, sorry, right Joy?”, you said through your gritted teeth. “Yeah, right.”
A doubledate? You and who? Who would you go on a date with? Is it yuta again? Jaehyun asked himself- but why did he care?
“We’ll see you guys around, then. Have fun.”, you were about to throw punches at her. Fake bitch, you thought. Without saying anything back you walked away, not looking at Jaehyun, completely ignoring him.
“I’ll never go out, I fucking knew that it was a bad idea to leave my bed.”, as soon as you entered your home, you left the bags on the floor and went back to your room to get into your bed. “Why in the world were they shopping together? He got back to her so fast? Fucking asshole.”
“Uhm, about that.. They are dating.”, Joy told you as she layed beside her friend. “We thought it would be better not to tell you, I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright, just, I can’t believe he just broke my heart like that and is now dating her? Didn’t he like me even a tiny bit?”, you covered your face, trying to stop yourself from crying.
“Honey, I really don’t know, like, one time he looks like he’d fight against the world for you and then he tells you that bullshit. Johnny told me that he doesn’t talk about what happened between you guys at all.”
After a little while Joy spoke up again “You know, maybe we should really go on a doubledate tonight.”
“I look like shit, even that bitch Dahyun tolt me that. I don’t feel like going out..”
“Oh shut up, I’m calling Taeyong.”, Joy ignored her friend and called him. “Hey are you free tonight? Great, what do you think of a doubledate? With (Y/n)? Yeah, it’s her. No they are not.. Perfect, I’ll send you the adress. See you later.”, she hung up and grinned at her friend. “He sounded excited.”
“How much time do we have?”
“2 and a half hours.”, Yeri jumped out of her bed. “Fuck.”
While you were showering, Joy called her boyfriend, Johnny. Tonight was going to be amazing.
After the two of you got ready, Joy borrowed a dress from you, you waited for your dates to arrive. “This is going to be so awkward after what happened the last time I met him.”, you  thought about going back to your bed.
“Oh shut up, he is great you are great, trust me, it’s gonna be great.”
And after five minutes their dates were waiting outside your apartment. You were nervous, really nervous but as soon as you saw Taeyong smiling at you, she relaxed.
“You two look amazing.”, Johnny and Taeyong said at the same time. “Thank you, you too.”, the girls said. Joy got into Johnny’s car. “We’ll see you guys at the restaurant.”, she winked at you.
You didn’t say anything, you were a little awkward next to him, he looked so good and you felt, well you felt ugly.
Taeyong opened your door, to help you get in and you thanked him as you got in. After he got inside of the car you started talking to him again. “I’m sorry that Joy called you so spontaneous, you probably had better things to do..”, you looked down to your hands on your lap.
“No, I’m happy that she called me. I wanted to see you again anyway.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I liked talking to you. I’d like to get to know you more.”, he smiled at you and looked back on the street again.
“Thanks.. me too.”, for the first time in weeks you smiled.
Johnny and Joy were the first to arrive, well not the first but, nobody thought that this was supposed to be tripledate. “What the fuck Johnny?”, Seulgi whispered to her boyfriend as she saw Jaehyun and Dahyun at the restaurant.
“I was talking to him when you called and I don’t know he insisted and then she heared about the doubledate and wanted to come, too. I’m sorry.”, Johnny tried to smile to his girlfriend as he explained himself.
“Hey Joy! Look it’s a tripledate, isn’t that lovely?”, Dahyun hugged her, Joy saw a long night coming.
“Yeah and I thought I was the only one who loved his music-”, (Y/n) who was talking to Taeyong stopped on her way to the table. Why in the world would he be here?
“It’s uhm, a tripledate! Isn’t that cool?”, Dahyun saw you and hugged you, too. What the actual fuck?
Taeyong took your hand, knowing the situation was complicated.
Johnny sat infront of Joy who was sitting next to you and next to you Taeyong. Jaehyun right infront of you and on his right was Dahyun. Awkward combination.
“You know, we can leave if you feel uncomfortable.”, Taeyong whispered into your ear, leaning a little to you, still holding your hand. Jaehyun tried to focus on his own date, his girlfriend, but he felt something he couldn’t explain as he saw you being so close to that guy.
“No, I’m fine thank you.”, you smiled at him.
After a little awkward silence, you ordered your food and the silence was back again.
Johnny couldn’t stand it. “So uhm, how did you two met?”, he asked Taeyong and you.
“Babe that was on your birthday, you were there.”, Joy told her boyfriend. ’“Right..”
Taeyong didn’t care about the others actually, he wanted to talk to you and that is what he did. He slightly turned to you and started asking you about your favourite music and movies.
“'Really? I love him, I think post malone is great. What do you think of The Weeknd?”, he asked you. “Sexy music, I love him.”, was all you said. “Taste.”, he said and was so excited to talk to you about your favourites.
Jaehyun was tense, Johnny, well everyone except Taeyong and you noticed. “Baby, do you want some salad?”, Dahyun, who was just eating a salad, asked Jaehyun. He hated salad. How could someone just eat salad? He looked over to your plate. You ordered pasta, he knew that you loved it.
“I don’t like salad.”, he said and focused on his steak.
You felt bad, Dahyun was eating a salad and here you were eating pasta, you felt ugly and now you felt fat. Suddenly feeling full, you asked Taeyong if he wanted to have some pasta.
“I’ll try one but you have to eat up okay? You look thinner than the last time we met.”, he said with a smile, he was concerned.
Did you really look thinner? You didn’t feel like it, even though you didn’t eat anything proper for a while now. You nodded with a smile and suddenly Jaehyun stood up.
“Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”, he went inside of the restaurant, to the restroom.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Jung Jaehyun?”, he asked himself as he looked to the mirror, suddenly remembering the night he had sex with you infront of the mirror.
You ignored him the whole dinner, as if he didn’t excist and that made him fucking angry. As he got back to the table, he noticed Taeyong’s arm around your backrest.
Too close.
“Welcome back baby, I ordered us some wine.”, Dahyun smiled at her boyfriend who didn’t look pleased. “I’d prefere something stronger.”, and then he ordered something stronger, something to help him ignore that feeling in his chest, whenever he heard you laughing or talking to Taeyong.
You were eating their dessert as Jaehyun was finishing his third drink. Dahyun pushed her cake to Jaehyun, she only took a little piece. “That’s enough for me tonight, can you finish it for me?”
“Why do you order it when you’re not going to eat it in the first place? Just eat that stupid cake.”, you would eat the cake all alone, he thought, but he looked over to you and saw you sharing the cake with Taeyong.
“I can’t eat so many carbohydrates at this hour, you know that, baby.”, she tried to act ladylike. God how he hated her when she did that. Who cares?! It’s just cake.
“Why would you fucking order it then?”, now he was a little louder. “Jaehyun, calm down. It’s just cake. Let me finish it, if you two don’t want it.”, Johnny tried to calm his friend.
Taeyong and you noticed the tension and decided it’s time to go. “Thank you for tonight, but it’s time for us to leave.”, Taeyong stood up and helped you, too.
“You guys are leaving already?”, Dahyun said. Jaehyun looked down to his drink. From the corner of his eyes he saw Taeyong holding your hand.
“Uh, yeah, we want to spent a little time alone.”, he didn’t say it to make Jaehyun angrier, but it did make him angry.
“Good night, and thank you Joy, I’ll see you.”, you said goodbye and went with Taeyong to his car. The whole night you tried to ignore Jaehyun, which was hard, because you could feel his feet under the table. You tried to focus on Taeyong and Joy and Johnny and most of the time it worked.
“I’m sorry, for that. I didn’t know he’d be here too.”, you told Taeyong. “It’s alright, I know it must be hard.”
“You made it easier.”, you genuinely smiled at him as he helped you into the car. “You want to go back home or can I have you for myself just a little longer. Don’t worry, no bad intentions.”
You laughed at his comment “I’d love to.”
And then he took you to the Han river.
“You know, that night Joy asked me to help you out with that guy, you, uhm, you actually helped me out, too.”, Taeyong sighed as he confessed.
“What do you mean?”, you were confused. “Well, there’s a girl..”, he blushed.
“Lee Taeyong did you use me to make a girl jealous? Now I don’t feel that guilty anymore.”, you smiled at him. You weren’t mad, why should you?
“Kind of. I don’t know. I don’t even like her- I hate her.”, he looked up to the sky, a little smile on his lips. “Or maybe I want to hate her.”
“Now I’m curious, who’s that girl?”
“Her name is Seulgi. I’ve known her for years now and the thing between us.. I don’t know.. We were cruel to each other in all those years. I said some ugly things, but she hurt me, too. I thought after high school, I’d never see her again but we applied to the same college. Even now we are fighting like there’s no tomorrow..”, Taeyong’s mind drifted to his time in high school.
“Are you sure that there’s no reason for your fights?”
He thought going through everything in his head once again. “Maybe it was becaus I rejected her 2 times.”
“You- what?!”
“Yeah she confessed to me in middle school and in high school but I rejected her everytime and I don’t even know why. Next thing I knew she started dating a friend of mine and I hated her for that, I didn’t want her to date him.”
“You are an idiot. You didn’t want to be with her and you didn’t want her to be with someon else. You broke her heart and she decided to move on. She probably didn’t even love that guy.”
“I don’t even know what to do. She stopped talking to me after Johnny’s birthday. I think I went to far..”, you facepalmed yourself.
“I’m sorry, but it is so obvious that you guys love each other. Don’t waste more time. You are a great guy and you should tell her what you feel and how much you actually love her.”, you smiled at him while staring at the sunset.
“You are right. Ugh, I wish I could beat my 15 years old self up- and my 18 years old self. I broke her hearts so many times, I want to be happy with her now. I want to make her smile and I want her to know that I love her, always have and always will.”
You applauded, “Congratulations, now go get that girl or I will throw you into the han river, idiot.”
“I will. I will get my girl but first I’ll take you home.”
After his car stopped infront of your apartment, Taeyong the gentleman he is, helped you out of the car. He accompanied you to your door and hugged you tightly.
“Thank you for opening my fucking eyes, lifesaver.”, he was the happiest.
“Thank you for saving me from that idiot today, too. Keep me updated!”
Little did you know, that there was a certain someone watching you hug and smile. After the hug, Taeyong jumped back into his car and drove away, to confess his love.
You smiled, you were happy for him. Happy that he found his love.
As you were about to open the door, you heard someone talking.
“(Y/n)..”, the smell of alcohol was so intense, you felt drunk all of a sudden.
You tried to get into your apartment but the grip on your wrist stopped you. You tried to get out of his grip but he was strong, too strong.
“Will you let me in, (Y/n)?”, he got a little closer.
“Did you miss me, (Y/n)?”, you could feel his chest against your back, his breath on your exposed neck. You closed your eyes, yes you missed him but that didn’t change anything. You missed the old Jaehyun, your friend, before anything happened between you.
With all the energy left in your body, you stepped on his foot and rushed inside but before you could close the door, his hand stopped you. He was much stronger than you and he probably didn’t even feel that you stepped on his foot.
You glared at him, trying not to cry or punch him. “Talk to me. Tell me to leave. Tell me to get out.”, as he got inside, you felt getting smaller and smaller next to him.
Jaehyun slammed the door shut and made you flinch. There was nothing you could do, except for ignoring him. You turned around, you removed your heels and went to the kitchen. You needed water.
Of course he followed you. As you poured water into you glass, he stood next to you and watched you. “You are behaving like a fucking kid. Do you think ignoring me is funny?”, you still ignored him, as you were about to take another sip, Jaehyun suddenly took the glass away from your hand and threw it on the floor, breaking it into many pieces.
“Fucking talk to me! Scream or yell I don’t fucking care! But don’t ignore me for fuck’s sake!”
He is drunk, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, you tried to calm yourself down. But Jaehyun was always like this, drunk or not, he liked destroying things, breaking them apart.
He took another glass that was on the counter and threw it on the floor. “You make me so fucking mad! SAY SOMETHING!”, it scared you when Jaehyun was angry but you wouldn’t give in. Not this time.
You backed away, accidentally stepping on a piece of the broken glass. “Fuck.”, you whispered to yourself, trying to move away from the other pieces. Blood dripping on the floor, Jaehyun’s eyes focused on your movements, not noticing that you were in pain.
You took a step, but the pain was too much. Before you could fall, Jaehyun held you by your waist as you winced in pain. Jaehyun saw the blood dropping, his heart clenched.
“Don’t look down. Close your eyes.”, he knew that you couldn’t look at blood.
You did what he said and fell into his arms, the smell of blood was too much for your.
Jaehyun carried you to the couch in the living room, softly putting you down. “I-I’ll be back, don’t open your eyes.” Jaehyun was in her bathroom, looking for stuff to clean your wound. Jaehyun tried to ignore the voice in his head that insulted him.
He came back with some cotton, disinfectant and bandage.
The piece of glass wasn’t that big and deep inside, after sterelizing the material he used, he tried to take it out of your foot with a pair of tweezers. “T-This could hurt a little.”
Jaehyun tried his best to stay calm and do it as softly as possible, not wanting to hurt you more than he already did. He placed the piece on a tissue and cleaned your wound with the cotton. You hissed, the pain was too much and now it burned like hell.
“I-I’m sorry.”
He blowed at the wound, trying to erase the pain. Jaehyun bandaged your foot and looked up to your face. You cried. Was it because your foot hurt or because of him? It didn’t matter, everything was his fault.
Jaehyun carried you to your bed, suddenly remembering the great time he had here. Not just the sex- it was everything. The deep talks, the movie nights- he missed it.
You were asleep in his arms, he looked down at your perfect face. He tugged you in your bad, carfully.
He can’t remember that he fell asleep in her living room, but he did, which suprised you the next morning.
As you woke up, you tried to walk but remembered your foot, feeling the pain once again. “Fuck!”, you screamed angrily, waking Jaehyun up. He opened his eyes slowly and saw you trying to walk out of her room.
What am I doing here? What is going on? How did I end up sleeping on her couch? Why was she limping?
Ignoring him, you made your way to the kitchen, it was a mess. You couldn’t walk properly, how were you supposed to clean this mess? You leaned against the counter, trying to steady yourself without stepping on glass, again.
Jaehyun stood up and hovered behind you. He looked down to your foot, a bandage and on the kitchen floor was blood and glass.
“D-Did I do that?”, he stuttered. Guilty, he felt so guilty and angry at himself. How could he hurt you? How could he do that to you?
You didn’t answer.
“Of course it was m-me. Y(Y/n) listen I-”, he tried to hold you, he saw that it was hard to stand.
“No! You listen! You want me to talk to you?! To scream and yell at you?! Huh?! Okay! If that is what you want! Stop fucking saying my name! Stop talking to me! Stop being near me and stop fucking looking at me! What do you want from me? What did I do to deserve all this?! All I did was to love you! Why the fuck are you infront of my house at midnight even though you have a girlfriend?! When I said I won’t come back to you, I meant it!”, you cried and yelled at the same time.
“D-Don’t date him.”, was everything he said.
“Are you even fucking listening to me?!”
“Yes! But I have no answer to your questions! I don’t know what I want! I don’t fucking know why I am here and why I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, or missing you! I don’t know why I am so fucking jealous when I see you with someone who isn’t me! I don’t know why I think about you when I am next to Dahyun I don’t know why I wish that she was you.. I-I don’t know.. what this feeling is.. I’m s-so scared it is eating me alive.”
“I-I think you should leave.”, you looked away, tears falling down. He couldn’t just tell you those things and don’t know what it meant. Jaehyun has a girlfriend, Jaehyun made it fucking clear when he told Johnny that he didn’t like you in that way and that he isn’t a replacement for Yuta.
He never was. You loved Jaehyun in a way you never thought was possible. Why was it so hard for everyone to love you? Were you that terrible?
“B-But-”
“Go to your girlfriend, Jaehyun.”
You didn’t tell Taeyong or Joy or any of your other friends what happened between you and Jaehyun that night- and morning. You tried to forget about it, but the pain in your foot reminded you always, or maybe it was the pain in your heart.
After Jaehyun left your apartment he went to Dahyun and broke up with her. Yes he wanted to date her for so long, yes he liked her. But that was in the past. It wasn’t a bad breakup, Dahyun saw it even coming and didn’t really care, she knew that there was someone else on his mind all the time. It seemed like everyone knew except Jaehyun.
“Yeah they’re talking, man I can’t believe it, I really thought it would be the last time.”, someone said as Jaehyun was drinking his water in the cafeteria with his friends.
“Yeah right, seems like (Y/n) loves Yuta’s dick.”, some girl said now behind Jaehyun. What was going on?
“Can I get my 5 bucks, I told you they’d start dating again. (Y/n) has a thing for that guy, well, after I fucked him I can tell why.”, another girl said, which made Jaehyun jump from his seat.
“What the fuck are you talking about?!”, he screamed at her. “What the fuck?”, she said. “What do you mean Yuta’s back with (Y/n)?!”, he screamed again, and slammed his hands on the table.
“They are outside talking, you asshole. What the fuck’s wrong with him.”, the girls hissed as he slammed his hand again. “If you fucking bitches ever say anything about her again, I won’t be this nice again.”
Without looking back at his friends Jaehyun ran out of the cafeteria, his eyes looking everywhere.
“Where the fuck are you, (Y/n)?”, he mumbled.
Jaehyun stepped outside the building and saw you on a bench. He rushed there but stopped walking as he heard your words.
“Am I a horrible person?”, you asked Yuta.
“Are you crazy? You are way too good for guys like us. You deserve someone way better than me and Jaehyun, we are stupid and blind. (Y/n), I was too selfish to love you like you deserved it.”
“Thank you.. I-I wasn’t sure If I really should talk to you but now I’m glad I did. Everyone I loved in my life, left me. Maybe It’s just not meant to be for me to be loved.”
“Can you leave us alone, Yuta?”, Yuta and you turned your heads and saw Jaehyun with teary eyes standing close behind you.
“Do you want me to leave, (Y/n)?”, you sighed and nodded.
“Remember what I told you.”, Yuta smiled lightly at you and left afterwards.
“Can I sit down?”, Jaehyun asked now. You shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah..”
“Yuta’s right.. I mean, I still hate him, but he is right. You are too good for guys like us. When we started hanging out, just the two of us, I was scared that it would lead to more. I was scared to lose you and scared to hurt you. And guess what? Both happened. I lost you because I hurt you because I fell in love with you.”
Now you looked at him, hearing these words for the first time.
“I swear to god I didn’t know it was possible to love someone as much as I love you, and I never thought it was possible to hate someone as much as I hate myself. I hated Yuta -still do, but I hate myself more because this time I was the one who hurt you and broke your heart, your beautiful heart which only loves and I know that I don’t deserve your love but I still love you. I hate myself for taking so long, I hate myself for letting you suffer, but I promise you, If you let me, I’ll give you the world.”, tears falling down his cheeks, he didn’t care if anybody saw him crying like a little boy who lost his favourite toy car.
“I said things I didn’t mean. Not now, not back then. I’ll regret them forever but I’ll never regret telling you how much I love you.”
Your brain stopped working. Did he just confess? Did he just tell you all of that?
“J-Jaehyun-”, you didn’t even notice that you were sobbing.
“I- I know you said you’d never come back to me, but please come back to me because I can’t breathe without you. Come back to me and let me love you the way you deserve.”, his hands hand on your cheeks, slighlty stroking your tears away.
“Jaehyun I-I don’t know what to s-say, please never break my heart again.”
“I won’t, I promise you. I love you.”, he pulled you closer, looking into your beautiful eyes.
“I love you, too.”
That was what he needed to hear. He kissed your tears away, then your forehead, then your cute nose and finally your lips. You kissed so many times already, but this time it was different, it was with so much passion and love. A kiss both of you will never forget.
You laid in your bed, no sex just cuddling and kissing. “Wait- what about Dahyun?”, you broke the kiss. “I’m kissing you and you are asking me about my ex?”, he laughed as you laid your head on his chest.
“After that one night I came here, the night I, uhm, hurt you.”, he’ll never forget the look on your face as he made a mess of your kitchen and how he hurt you.
Your hand on his chest now cupped his cheek. “It’s okay, Jaehyun. Don’t say it like you stabbed me with it yourself or something. It was an accident.”
“N-No, If I didn’t act all crazy and broke the glasses, you’d never get hurt. I’m sorry.”, his voice got smaller as he apologized.
You looked up, your eyes meeting his. “I love you. Please don’t do this to yourself.”, you placed a kiss on his lips. “Tell me how you broke up.”, you tried to distract him.
“Well, we fought, I knew that you are the only one I need in my life. She wasn’t my type anyway. Remember the restaurant? Who the fuck orders a salad?”, that made you giggle.
“What is your type?”
“You.”, he stroked your hair.
“Why? Why do you love me?”, you asked.
“Because you are you. You are my best friend, my better half- my soulmate. You laugh at my stupid ass jokes- not even I think that they’re funny. Everytime I look into your eyes, I feel peaceful and happy, I can breathe next to you and be a little kid, the way you eat- it’s crazy i know, but you look so adorable. I love how you eat anything you want and how you cry or laugh at any movie we watch. A comedy? You cry. A romance? You cry and laugh and a horror movie? You cry, laugh and hold me tight because you get scared so easily.”
“Why.. why are you so.. are you even real?”, you hid your face into his neck and cried.
“Baby, do you remember our first night? We watched 'my best friends wedding’ and I swear to god he loved her so much but I know he was scared. I watched it a couple times when we were.. apart, and I knew that I couldn’t live without you. I couldn’t imagine losing you- the thought of you marrying someone else, I don’t even want to talk about it, because I’m the only one marrying you.”
“A-Are you asking me to be your wife right now?”, you couldn’t believe your ears.
“Yeah, don’t worry baby, I already have a ring.”
“J-Jaehyun are you serious?”, you got up and looked at him with wide eyes. “I’m kidding baby. Still got no ring, but I’ll promise you that I’ll marry you.”
“I love you so much, oh god.”, you hugged him tightly and tangled your legs with his and placed kisses on his jaw and neck.
“You know baby.. I love having sex with you, too.”
“Of course you do..”, you looked each other deep into the eyes and kissed, nothing mattered anymore, you  loved each other so much, sometimes it felt unreal.
Spending the rest of your lives together was everything you wanted, together forever.
2K notes · View notes
mikyouknow · 3 years
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Please! Rewatch the quiz! I need something to remind me that that actually happened.
I still vividly remember that day. Going out on a chill bike ride with my two best friends for the first time in months. Sitting in the cool grass. Having a picknick. Not too hot out, nice weather. AND THEN I GET HOME TO THE ABSOLUTEL SHITSHOW THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY! Because what the HELL even was that, I still haven't processed anything. My mind keeps erasing that memory until some days the it just hits me square in the face and knocks me out 😀
So yeah! I would love it if you talked more about it, might help to cope a bit xD
Okay anon you motivated me, you were my Final push, I’m Doing it ! 🗣
Also I love that story tho you really have a Vivid memory connected to this whole thing and I’m living for it 😂 you were just having a nice day and then Boom, all this mess 💀
But aight so I’m Watching it rn and will be taking notes Live as I watch Here we go:
My first thoughts is, when Dream decides to do the quiz, he seems so like, confident? And then as soon as he reads the description, his voice falters at ‘and now things are changing’ and I’m Dead 💀 his confidence from two seconds prior in that moment goes like 📉 then cue flustered laugh lmao
“Do you ever catch yourself staring at your bff?” Dream’s flustered laugh and being all like “these questions are gonna be so weird” uhhhhh dude what are you expecting you’re taking a are you in love with your best friend quiz 💀
HES SO DEFENSIVE ON THIS ONE LIKE- he keeps wanting to make excuses aww drema aww 😭 it’s okay !! George is pretty we Understand you staring king 😌
Like legit that’s the first question and he’s already so flustered and- MY GOD GEORGE HASNT SAID A THING I JUST REALIZED WAIT HOLD ON I NEED TO GO BACK-
Two scoffs. That’s it 🧍‍♀️
GEORGE JSJWNSOWNEEJEN HES NOT SAYING ANYTHING IM DYING WHAT
Even when Dream first goes ‘aight imma take the am I in love w my best friend test’ George is SILENT 💀
Listen- listen, I’m having a moment over this cause I don’t remember him being silent from the start I thought it was like a slow descent into him just going silent eventually, BUT NO he’s just Silent from the moment the quiz is brought up 💀 but gives like a slight scoff when Dream’s voice wavered at “changing” like he’s very much Listening, just being So silent.
I just can’t wrap my head around how he doesn’t answer any of Dream’s comments, Dream keeps being like ‘right? Like that’s normal, right? Like that’s not weird. Right?’ And George is just SILENT 💀
“Do you get jealous if he or she has a bf or gf” LMAO THIS QUESTION MY BELOVED
His answer is so weird I will die on this hill.
ALSO GEORGE S P E A K S for the first time in the quiz 😭🗣 but not much, he says ‘but’, cause, yk, they both know he do get jealous so.
Which, again. Weird as hell. Imma say it, I’ve never felt jealous of my best friend getting a partner like what ???? W h a t
But ofc when they’re so clingy on each other, like a partner would take the others place because they pretty much have each other in that spot already, so it makes sense huh
And that’s not platonic btw I wanna make that clear LMAO
I think the points of which George laughs are interesting. And there’s something interesting to his laugh too. I don’t see his face lighting up with it, if that makes sense. It’s like a, I wouldn’t say ‘nervous’ laugh but, I struggle to find a better word for it 🤔
AYO MY MANS DREAM SAYS I DONT KNOW TO IF HE GETS BUTTERFLIES FROM GEORGE I- 💀
THATS NOT AN I DONT KNOW QUESTION KING
EITHER YOU DO OR YOU DONT AND YOU KNOW IF YOU DO OR DONT LIKE W H A T
I have to sit with this one for a second like . What ? 🧍‍♀️
Butterflies.
I’ve never. In my life. Like.
That’s not- you can’t say you don’t know- THAT MEANS LIKE-
Dear lord.
Aight I’m moving on (not actually imma be awake thinking about this later. Not by choice, absolutely not. This just won’t leave my brain unfortunately.)
Hang on. George says something here when Dream says ‘I have no idea’ but I can’t tell what he’s saying ? Like he mumbles something whilst Dream starts talking at the same time and I can’t make it out and I wanna know what he says 💀🗣
I Think he says ‘what do you mean you have no idea?’ Which like, YEAH, you Should question him on that king 🧍‍♀️ but it’s interesting how quiet he is, like he barely pushes the question, and this is like the second ?? Time he’s spoken so far. 🧍‍♀️
Also Listen to how flustered Dream sounds my god💀
This quiz never should’ve happened what’s Wrong with him like is he this blind ?? Did he Really think taking this quiz was gonna end well ?? 💀
“TecHniCally🥴”
“My future is your future”
I feel like we’ve talked abt these LMAO such Romantic phrasing my god
Again him going ‘right?’ And George is Dead Silent 💀
It’s interesting, like I’ve reached the ‘dreams’ question now, and it’s hitting now and throughout this quiz how, Dream is Loudly deflective, but George is silently deflective. If that makes sense? Like he’s choosing not to speak so his words can’t be thrown back at him cause he Knows if he speaks it’ll be obvious. Whilst Dream over explains and fucks himself over p much lmao. They’re both just a mess around this subject 💀
“How would You be in my dream” is such a funny sentence from George LMAO he’s so defensive 💀 like even I have had dreams abt Dream, like you’re his Best Friend, ofc you have dreams abt him my guy 💀 deflecting it is so weird. So Weird
“I’ve never hugged you” Sad hours 😔
It’s interesting here. Cause they speak abt the whole ‘do you go out of your way for this person’ and Dream is stuck on if he should say ‘more than anyone else I know’ or not. Which, there’s ofc observations to be had here as well.
But ! What I found interesting here was how George goes onto say ‘you made me pay you’ when Dream says he edited his video for him. And how George keeps the ‘lie’ going for a very short bit before laughing slightly, by god he sounds so.. different? Like when he usually makes little lies to troll or stuff like that, he’s much more extra and keeps the bit going and- idk how to explain it but the tone of his voice is usually way different. Here he seems to, idk, struggle to keep that up. His laugh is also just like, somewhat toneless?
LMAO The MOMENT Dream got the question ‘what do you think abt their laugh’ George’s laugh Stops. 💀
“Do you ever think abt what it would be like to Kiss your best friend?”
THE SILENCE
Also,
how Dream read ‘kiss’ 🤝 how Dream read ‘changing’
Some words hit this man different huh LMAO
“Why did that take you so long” on the kiss question, CALL HIM OUT GEORGE 🗣
HRKEJEKEEJEKJEEIEJ HOW ARE THOSE- SORRY WHAT DREAM ??
“HOW ARE THOSE THE ONLY OPTIONS” ???
God, for real, I wish Dream would get to sit down with someone one day who just Listened to him speak and allowed him to slip up and just sound so in love with George like give himself away simply because nobody is saying how weird he’s-
Hold on.
Wait. A minute.
George.
George is doing that LMAOOOO
Him sitting there silently and not responding to all his small questions abt what he Should answer and such, he’s so smart🧍‍♀️
AIGHT MOVING ON
George’s laugh keeps sounding very, like, strange😅
Anyways the way Dream Had to have a ‘yes’ answer to the kiss one will forever keep me up at night. Now along with the butterflies one🧍‍♀️
I rly wonder what options it is Dream is looking for when he says ‘none of these options’ so often. What is it you wanna say king ?
WHY IS THE BUTTERFLIES QUESTION TWICE AND WHY IS HIS ANSWER NOW DIFFERENT LMAO - drema it’s okay it’s Safe Space 🗣 I feel like he probably saw chat responding to his first answer and realized ‘oop, that’s not platonic’ and changed his answer LMAO 💀 he’s- Ahh hard to find the right words for my Thoughts here, but he’s doing that thing where he looks for others what is ‘normal’ instead of seeing what he feels, cause what He feels is, uh, well we all know what results he got at the end there,,
I mean the kiss question is all u need really. The butterflies one puts icing on the whole cake.
“Do you compare this person to others you’ve dated? Noo...” AIGHT AND THERE WE HAVE THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THE WHOLE THING
This was the one of the Most sus ones imo from when I first watched it. It had my head spin, head in hands for Days.
What do you MEAN you compare him to others you’ve dated? Why does he tell George to shut up, why do they both Know there’s a story there- I have so many questions on this and- this isn’t platonic 💀😭 AT ALL - and there’s no excuse or explanations for this one, they just Move On 💀
The Speed at which they move on 💀
And then George goes So silent 🧍‍♀️
Dream is cruising through the questions and George is so silent now. He was Stunned into silence from that shut up LMAO
I like how Dream picked ‘absolutely’ on being able to tell George everything :’)
So.
Why does George not say anything on the ‘do you think your best friend is in love with you’ question? No joke, no protest, no- no nothing?
That leaves us to fill in the blanks king, just saying🧍‍♀️
Why does Dream sound sarcastic when he says it’s a tough question LMAO
“I have no idea” aight good answer ig LMAO let’s Pretend
George’s silence is for real very sus there. Very. 🥴
Dream putting ‘no’ on thinking he’s in love, is Very funny and shows just how blind he is to himself.
He rly put ‘I don’t know’ for the butterflies one and found the nearest ‘yes’ option for the kiss one and then still put ‘no’ at the end - he’s a lost cause and owns no mirrors I see how it is. (/j btw lmao I have hope in drema ofc, he too can become more self aware one day<3)
“You are a little in love with your best friend” cue both of them laughing in just the weirdest ways. George just sounds absolutely toneless like, I don’t think he’s even smiling with that laugh, gaze absolutely dazed at what he’s being witness to, not even knowing what to do with himself in that moment. And Dream’s laugh is also just, weird?
“You don’t wanna ruin it, Dream.” Followed by Dream’s immediate, “oh what? It says-“ like immediately moving on lmao 💀 that “oh what?” Sounded like “oh what’s that there oh that’s rly weird wow let’s move on from what you just said ahem wow really weird thing over there” LMAO
“There’s a two percent chance there” LMAO
OH NO THE SILENCE WHAT
I THOUGHT I ACCIDENTALLY PAUSED THE VIDEO BUT THE SILENCE IS SO LONG AND SO LOUD
Then Dream going onto pretending like he’s gonna do another test As If he’s not been planning his escape excuse from the very moment he got those test results LMAO
And the silent pauses are taking me out 💀
‘I think we’re done’ HOW COULD HE LEAVE AT THAT POINT 💀💀💀
“COOL PODCAST” IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR
“WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY” DREAM I- WHY U SO DEFENSIVE GEORGE ASKING WHERE YOU’RE GOING IS A NORMAL THING TO ASK 💀YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SUDDENLY LEAVING
NOT DREAM AWKWARDLY SINGING THE WIZARD OF OZ-
HE SOUNDS SO WEIRD-
The tone of his voice is so off my guy is so ready to leave and sit and stare at a wall whilst looping heatwaves for five hours 💀
:((((( drema my beloved :((((( it’s okay to be in love !!
Not him leaving- he full on ignored George’s ‘where are you going?’
He’s not going anywhere istg the moment he left that discord he put his head in his hands and just Stared 💀
Poor George 🥺
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applepi20 · 3 years
Text
what it's like to be loved
zeke yeager x fem! reader
warnings: age gap, nsfw content, unprotected sex, brief smoking, zeke is kind of an asshole, female-bodied reader
modern au: zeke is rich but it isn't discussed
word count: 1.8k
chapter notes: i think i'm just projecting what i wish would happen to me
this one is kinda short but enjoy! ☾
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you stared out the window at the cityscape. the night scene was so pretty and peaceful. the warm bedroom light reflected off of the windows.
wrapped in only a sheet, you glanced over your shoulder at zeke sleeping peacefully in the bed. The post-sex glow had worn off a while ago and now you were left alone with your thoughts. you couldn't sleep and hoped the restless city would help calm you down.
your body ached from the previous activities, but your chest ached more with longing. longing to be more than just a call to satisfy. longing to be loved and longing to be loved by zeke yeager.
in retrospect, you probably shouldn't have agreed to a no strings attached, sex only relationship without considering the possibility that you would get attached and even fall in love. it didn't seem like anything to be worried about at the time. you and zeke had a very tense relationship that made the two of you clash on many occasions. falling in love with him was the last thing on your mind.
you weren't sure how much time had passed since you left zeke in the bed. you startled hearing some rustling and suddenly zeke appeared next to you.
"couldn't sleep?" he questioned.
"no, lost in my thoughts," you answered.
he nodded silently and lit up his cigar.
"do you have to do that now?" he seriously had to find an escape after what we had just done? why can't he just stay in the moment at least until I leave?
"is something wrong y/n?" he stared at you, genuinely concerned.
"it's nothing" lies you were feeding him lies, why can't he open his eyes and see how you feel about him?
zeke continued to stare at you, eyebrows raised expectantly.
"i was just wondering what it's like to be loved" you blurted out against your will, zeke's gaze was too strong to break, you had to submit.
the look on his face was unreadable.
"to be loved? i'm not sure i understand what you mean. are you talking about sex, or just loved in general?" he seemed unsure of how to word things.
"oh it's not important, forget i said anything," you tried to backtrack.
"no no what did you mean?" he pressed, he almost looked urgent for the answer.
"um I guess both, I just- well yeah both." you awkwardly said.
"i could show you," he said so quietly you almost didn't hear him. he was avoiding eye contact.
"w-what?" you mumbled.
"i could show you, what it's like to be loved" he clarified.
you stared at him with wide eyes as he slowly leaned closer. you leaned in as well. "okay?" he whispered on your lips.
you nodded as you connected your lips in a sweet kiss. zeke returned the kiss with a different enthusiasm from before. he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards the bed.
"if i was in love with you, first i would kiss you." he kissed you again. "and I'd keep kissing you for a while."
you were stunned all you could do was kiss back. his kisses grew more and more eager and he suddenly pulled away.
you leaned into the ghost of his lips and he smiled at you before kissing you again. you felt like you were drunk on his kisses and you never wanted to stop, these kisses felt different.
zeke moved from your mouth to start trailing kisses down your neck. he came up to your ear and whispered "i would tell you i love you." his hot breath warming your ear and making you squirm away from the ticklish sensation.
"sensitive?" i could hear the smile in his voice.
all you could do was nod, words were becoming hard to form. your whole body felt like it was on fire already, just from kissing.
"i would keep telling you i love you" he murmured and he was back to leaving kisses along your neck.
"i love you," a kiss on your cheek just barely grazing the corner of your mouth.
"i love you," another kiss on your neck.
"i love you," a kiss on your shoulder.
he kept repeating those words as he covered your neck and chest in kisses and small bites that would be gone by the morning, just a memory of the feeling.
you were finding it hard to keep your eyes open as he left feather-light kisses along your breasts and pulled the sheet you previously had wrapped around you off.
"god baby, you're so fucking pretty" he leaned in to suck on your chest leaving a red mark.
under his gaze you wanted to squirm away in embarrassment, but the look in his eyes was tender, loving almost.
he looked lost in your naked body.
"if i was in love with you, i would hold your hand" he intertwined his fingers with yours, hovering over you he leaned down to kiss you. you were still unable to do anything but respond to him and kiss back. you were overwhelmed with the attention you were getting, but it didn't seem that different from past times the two of you had sex.
zeke abruptly grabbed your hips, ripping his hand out of yours and flipped you onto your stomach before you could even process what was happening. he pulled your hips up so your back was arched and your face was buried in the mattress.
"of course i couldn't let you predict anything and i have to be a little rough to keep my baby satisfied," he said with a smirk.
he draped his body over yours and pinned your arms above your head, nipping your ear and making you shiver at the close proximity.
"if i was in love with you, i would hold you close so i could feel every little reaction i'm causing you" his hand moved down, splaying across your belly, pulling your body back into his. you held yourself up on your elbows to meet his movement.
you moaned out as he slowly pushed himself into you and you dropped down into the mattress, your arms no longer able to support you.
when he bottomed out he let out a groan and held your hips steady.
"fuuuck" he hissed through his teeth. he held your hips still despite your squirming and pleas for him to move. " you're so ready for me, you feel so good for me" he rambled almost unable to keep himself from speaking.
as he developed a rhythm, he leaned down and whispered in your ear, drawing you from your thoughts you seemed to be stuck in.
"y/n you feel so good, i love you fuck" you could hear his strained breathing as he picked up the pace. it was like he was unable to control the words that flew out of his mouth and all you could do was take it. all the tender words, the sensations, you could just lie there.
the feeling of his hips snapping against you, the overwhelming emotion and lust, had you shocked as you found your release so quickly and without warning.
"did you just come? my perfect angel" he seemed surprised at your unexpected release.
he grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles one by one in time with his thrusts and you moaned in response, incoherent words on your tongue.
as his movements started to slow, you started to panic a little. "zeke keep going, i can take it" you promised, desperate for him to keep going, to fill you with his release. you craved the feeling.
you kept whining until he returned to the previous pace he had set before. you could feel his timing start to become less and less consistent as he chased his own end. there would be bruises where he was gripping your hips and you reveled in the feeling.
both of you were unable of saying anything but each other's names. he kept kissing down your back saying "angel" and "perfect" and your name in between kisses.
you could feel his hips stutter as he finally found his release and he bit down on your shoulder as he came, filling you up with his seed.
he collapsed on top of you and rolled over so you were by his side. brushing the hair out of your face he kissed you again, lightly as if he was afraid he would hurt you.
"angel, you are so perfect" he was looking at you like you were his whole world and it was making you shy away from his gaze.
you felt so loved in this moment until you realized that throughout the whole thing he was saying "if i was in love with you" not " i am in love with you". you decided to revel in the feeling just this once and then decide in the morning to go back to the normal routine of no strings attached.
"hey zeke?" you asked, a bit nervous.
"yeah, angel?" he responded, sounding tired, voice a bit raw.
you were scared to ask. almost wishing you would keep quiet and not ruin what perfect moment the two of you just had.
"you said all of that was what you would do if you were in love with me, but none of it was different than what we did before." you were hesitant, anticipating his answer.
zeke took a moment and took a deep breath.
you almost took it back and your mind felt like it was going a million miles per second. your thoughts and doubts were loud in your ears.
"y/n are you stupid?" he laughed, shaking your body as your head laid on his chest.
immediately, you felt defensive. "stupid? zeke what are you even talking about, forget i asked," you were just talking without thinking, trying to cover your tracks from before.
"y/n i love you," he interrupted. "I've been in love with you for a long time."
his words weren't registering. he WHAT.
"that stupid no strings attached rule was just so I could hide behind it and not face my feelings in case they weren't reciprocated. i've been in love with you since the first time we hooked up. I've always been yours" he continued.
you finally found your voice again. "Zeke Yeager. you've let me think that i was just a fuck toy to you for months?! do you know how many nights i've laid awake heartbroken i could never have you and you're telling me you've been mine all along? i can't believe that-ah!"
he annoyingly shuts you up with a kiss. and then follows the first kiss with two pecks.
"angel, i'm all yours, be mine? you've only made me wait forever" you wanted to kiss that stupid look right off of his face.
"of course I'm yours, zeke. you always show me what it's like to be loved."
139 notes · View notes
shoichee · 3 years
Note
Hey luv! I just got my braces off and I don’t know if I like myself with or without them cause yah girl has ✨confidence issues✨ so can you do the GoM + Kagami and Teppei thanks my savior
OH, rn i have braces too (although they’re ceramic and harder to see) but I definitely can understand the apprehension when you have them taken off after for so long;; 
the amount of characters requested actually exceed the rules, but since i’ve taken a while to get to your request, i’ll still do them but they will be shorter^^ THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY THIS BLOG AND READING MY STUFF <3
[Headcanons]
Kuroko Tetsuya
right away, he notices that something was amiss with you, and asks upfront if anything was bothering you
you replied hesitantly, but while you talked you held up a hand in front of your mouth:
“Um… I don’t know if I like how I look right now…”
Kuroko stares at your nervous eyes and then looks down to your hand in front of your mouth before asking why
“Just got my braces off, and I feel a bit… weird without them? I feel like I look strange without them…”
“Do you mind if I see you?” he asks, softening his eyes at you
“W-Well… you’re not someone to judge, I know, but don’t… laugh or anything.”
“I won’t, (y/n)-san.”
he slowly brings your hand down and you slowly smile to reveal your teeth to him, and he gives you the purest smile… and that catches you off guard so badly like… YOUR TEETH GOT HIM TO SMILE LIKE THAT??? DAMN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMILE EVERY SECOND TO SEE SUCH A TREASURE—
“(y/n)-san, I think you look wonderful,” he muses, bringing your same hand that was in front of your mouth into his own hand with a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure everyone who sees you will think the same.”
ah Kuroko, the individual who has a knack in comforting people with his genuity (example: see Momoi)
whenever you do have those moments of self-consciousness again, he’s always there to calmly reassure you otherwise
Kise Ryouta
IMMEDIATELY sees your teeth when you talk, and freaks out like a little kid on Christmas
“(y/n)-cchi! (y/n)-cchi!!” he hoots around, pointing at his own teeth. “You got your braces off today! You look amazing!”
when you hesitate and tell him that you’re not so sure about yourself without your braces, he pinches your cheek and gives a little dramatic huff
“But (y/n)-cchi…! Come onnnn, trust me!” he says, giving a signature pout, and you laugh at his antics
“Ohhh, do that again! Do that again!” (he craves for your laughs, and he wants more)
he definitely tries to get you to smile and laugh to get you more comfortable with your braceless teeth
whether you have braces or not, he doesn’t mind so much because what he really cares about is your smile, and if he sees your teeth showing, braces or without, it means that he knows he’s doing a good job in making you comfortable and happy
while he showers you in praises every single moment, when you feel really down, he takes an extra measure or two to cuddle you gently while being much softer in delivering those compliments
always gives a daily compliment to give you a serotonin boost
Midorima Shintarou
he’s confused… why would you be upset that you got your braces off? you looked great before and even now, so does the fact of braces really change your perception of your appearance that much?
he won’t make any comment on your new appearance unless you bring it up to him and ask for his opinion/reassurance
he’s just happy for you that you have another milestone of your life, and not to mention, braces generally promote better oral health and fix misaligned bites
“Hm? What do I think of how you look? D-Don’t be ridiculous… What am I supposed to say?”
“Well, I just… think I look a little odd… I kind of… want my braces back.”
“You know you can’t do that, nanodayo,” he sighs. “So much money, effort, and care were invested into your teeth for many years. You did the most you could to take care of them and achieved the goal you set out for yourself when you first got braces, correct? That isn’t something to be ashamed of, nanodayo.”
despite his lecturing, his words do have some merit, and Midorima’s words were comforting in his own way
“But Midorima, um… sorry for annoying you,” you say, giving a chagrined smile
Midorima takes a good look at your exposed teeth for the first time and widens his eyes in a fluster before turning his eyes back to his astrology book
“I-I-It’s nothing.”
bonus: he’s definitely that one fussy parent who forces you to wear your retainers religiously, NO EXCUSES—he doesn’t want the whole process to be all for naught just because you got lazy in wearing a simple metal thing
Aomine Daiki
idiot #1
“Whoa, your teeth look different,” is something he would say tactlessly
immediately, you slapped your hands over your mouth at his words
forgive him, he usually says what’s on his mind with no filter and consideration
by then, he’d realized that the tone of his words was poorly delivered and would try to correct himself before he says anything more to dig himself a deeper grave
“Er, sorry, what I mean is… I didn’t know you were gonna have them off today…”
that actually made you more self-conscious and you try to flee from the scene
“W-Wait, hey!”
insert Aomine clumsily explaining that he didn’t mean to be tactless with his words and that he just meant that he was surprised in a good way
definitely shows you a lot more wholesome affection in addition to his usual PDA, but you wonder what he thought about your new “appearance,” so to speak
“What kinda question is that?” he scoffs. “You’re still hot and always will be.”
if there’s one sure benefit to his blunt words, it’s that his straightforwardness can easily dispel all your doubts and clear up any misunderstandings in one go
if you’re still doubtful about yourself, he’ll gladly resort to action to prove his point… perhaps makeout sessions with him would become a lot more exploratory and… just putting it out there, but we will leave this up to your imagination
anywho, he’s not afraid to give you more direct kisses to try to show you that he doesn’t care about your teeth and your lack of braces
definitely would tell out-of-pocket jokes and laugh more to get you to grow comfortable; after all, smiling is contagious right? who can resist Aomine’s smile???
if someone tried to make you uncomfortable by drawing everyone’s attention nearby in how you got your braces off, whether intentional or not, he’s scaring them away, no questions asked and he’s taking you away from the scene
Murasakibara Atsushi
“Oh…” he says with his usual drawl. “You got them off, Chibi-chin?”
it was a usual day with him tucking his own head into his arms to nap on the table when you walked up to him apprehensively, and he immediately notices your presence but lazily picks up his head to look at you when he noticed
“Er… yeah…”
he slightly tilts his head to the side like an inquisitive child to silently question what was wrong
“It’s nothing really! Just feeling tired… not in the talkative mood today.” as you said this, he noticed that you were more… tight-lipped, speaking in a quieter manner as if you were trying not to show your teeth as much as possible
he beckons a languid hand over and you reluctantly sit by his side, your face still slightly turned away
you thought he was just going to go back to sleep like he always does, but imagine your surprise when he easily picks you up from the side and placed you on his lap, face-to-face
Murasakibara then pulls your cheeks apart, revealing your pearly whites to him
“H-H-Hey!! Lert… gorw!”
“Don’t wanna.”
“I’m… serwious!”
he stares at you impassively for a few moments before he suddenly lets your cheeks go and yawns
“... you look fine, Chibi-chin,” he mumbles, and he sets you off his lap before getting up with a stretch. “Besides, now that you don’t have braces anymore, you can finally eat whatever you want right…?”
“I… guess I can…”
and he’s already reaching for your hand to tug you to the nearest takeout with a slight shine of excitement in his dark pupils
“Chibi-chin, we can finally eat those candy apples together you’ve always craved for, lots and lots…”
he’s very fixated on you eating with your braceless teeth for the next few weeks with a small smile on his face, because you enjoying the food you eat are some of the simplest joys he loves when he’s with you (and you hadn’t been able to do that because your braces forbidden you from eating a list of things)
definitely drags you out for food outings a lot more for the next few weeks
he tries his best in trying to make you not think about your teeth and your self-consciousness about them in his roundabout way (note: see his cheek pulling, distracting you with your favorite snacks, etc.)
he’s not someone to make any deal out of it because worrying over such a trivial thing is annoying to him, but nonetheless he certainly wants to make sure that nothing is bothering you because that’s the greatest inconvenience (since he doesn’t like to see you in such a state)… you being upset and worried makes him upset and worried, after all
Akashi Seijuro
he immediately understands that feeling of self-doubt/self-consciousness, but nonetheless he compliments you to let you know that he truly finds you desirable/beautiful inside and out
still, words alone sometimes don’t convince you and even when he gives physical affection to comfort you, there’s still that nagging feeling of how you felt about your teeth
and he’s totally okay with that, and he knows that feeling very well himself (regarding having inner voices that taunt him)
rather than constantly hammering in compliments because he knows that at some point they’d feel more disingenuous the more he says them, he offers you to help overcome the self-consciousness on your own terms
Akashi offers the suggestion of wearing face masks (not necessarily the surgical ones, but the cute/plain colored masks you’d see around!) if you have certain days where you feel low about your braceless teeth
he’d be quite sly and teasing all the while; whenever you wear your cute mask for the day, he’d be a lot more affectionate with the PDA and give pecks on your lips… but the mask is always in the way, preventing you from feeling actual contact with his own lips
he can tell you’d definitely get pouty when you don’t really feel those kisses and he simply laughs and walks on
“You…! I know you only try to kiss me when I have the mask on! Don’t play dumb with me!”
“Hm? Is it really a crime for me to show physical affection to the person I love?”
he eventually does help you coax you out and become comfortable, and your face masks would eventually be stored away in a drawer
he rewards you for being strong in overcoming your own doubts:
“To celebrate your strength in overcoming a huge milestone, what would you like your reward to be?”
“For starters, give me back all those kisses you tried to give me throughout all the times I wore a mask!”
“Of course,” he chuckles, moving closer to your lips. “How could I ever resist you when you’re this stunning?”
Kagami Taiga
idiot #2 (see idiot #1)
unlike idiot #1, idiot #2 doesn’t notice the change on your teeth, at all
he doesn’t know why you’re fidgeting around or acting really, really strange… were you hungry? upset at him for something he didn’t realize he did wrong?
so after a few days after you got your braces off, he finally asks:
“Is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”
poor guy doesn’t know if he was at fault or if he was missing something, and he physically holds his head to try to recall EVERYTHING for the past week
you reassure him that it wasn’t anything like that, but you still had furrowed brows and you were very careful in how you were talking
Kagami thinks you haven’t eaten and offers to make dinner, but eating in front of him for some reason really didn’t sound like a good idea to you so you declined
you’ll eventually tell him that you just felt a bit self-conscious after your braces got taken off
“Huh?”
he stares at your teeth for a very long time, and you immediately regret it, not wanting to draw his attention to you like that
he snaps out of his intense daze and immediately apologizes for making you uncomfortable
“M-My bad… I just didn’t notice until you told me.”
“Really?” you ask, slightly relieved that the change wasn’t as drastic as you thought it would be
“Er, yeah…” he mumbles, scratching his cheek, “you look good, by the way…” but by the time he finished his compliment, it came out as a cough
you can only laugh in relief, knowing that everything he says is always earnest and sincere
Kiyoshi Teppei
definitely noticed that your braces were off, but pretends to not notice until you bring it up yourself because he’s quite sharp and in tune with other people’s emotions
so he treats you like he always does, being the sweet “airhead” that he is, and he waits until you bring it up yourself (because he knows how self-conscious you were about your lack of braces)
you yourself are confused… like… was Teppei actually dense? was your whole inner dilemma not a big deal like your mind thought it would be?
you tug on his sleeve one day and ask him if he noticed your teeth, pointing to them all the while
and he immediately chastises himself (“silly me”) for not noticing, and he tells you that you were beautiful either way, and whether you had braces or not didn’t change that inherent fact (and that was his “reason” for not noticing to reassure you)
all while giving his easy going chuckles and ruffling your hair
laughs at your shyness at his words, not because it’s funny or anything but he truly finds you adorable
once you get comfortable without giving a second thought about your braces gone, he just drops the truth bomb on you so casually like:
“Ahhhh (y/n)-san,” he sighs in nostalgia. “You were really cute when you were so shy about getting them off, you know that?”
“Now wait a second…”
“Hm?”
“What did you say?”
“That you’re really cute.”
“No, no, the other part.”
“Whenever you get shy.”
“That is not what I mean and you know that—”
“Aww, you’re being really cute right now, (y/n)-san. Don’t tempt me to carry you around when I just finished with my physical therapy.”
344 notes · View notes
7soulstars · 4 years
Note
hello! can i request something funny with thranduil? ony if you're comfortable with writing itof course.
he took y/n in *like Elnord did with Aragorn* but she is a huge troublemaker,always pulling pranks on elves or sneaking to the woods and putting herself in danger, giving him many heart attacks in the process, yet he can't stop loving her.
*screams* I love this !! Of course I’ll write something based on this ! Let’s go !!
Erevan Ilesere’s Petal 
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Pairing: Thranduil x Immortal! Reader
Warnings: Cavity Inducing fluff, Angst if you squint, Decent writing ??
Summary: No matter how much of annoyance Y/N is,Thranduil cannot stop adoring his lady. 
..............
Erevan Ilesere ; The elven god of mischief and tricks
Nobody knew who Y/N was, what she is, where she is from or why was she found in the center of the clearing at the heart of the forest Mirkwood. Neither did she. She knew nothing of herself except her name. But that didn't intrigue Thranduil, the blue petal mark etched on her skin did.
The battle of the five armies had been a turning point in Thranduil’s life, he was at calm with himself, but at the same time he felt lonely. He let his son go on an adventure that he’d not know when he would return from, he was at peace with his wife’s death.He had to let her go.Though she would always have a special place in his heart. He had to focus more on his people, flourish his kingdom and move on. But he felt empty.
He felt alone.
So went he found Y/N heavily injured at the clearing, he didn’t hesitate to take her in.
Y/N was different. Not in normal mannerisms she was not. It was unexplainable. She was different.
After she was taken in by Thranduil and healed, she said she knew nothing of her kin or where was born. All she remembered that she had been living the life of a ranger for as long as she recalls.
She had always been alone.
But that never stopped her from being vocal. She was bold, so bold that she would barge into the court meetings to give the most random suggestions, make jokes or even put flowers in Thranduil’s crown during it. And he would always let her, sometimes even smiling.
The elves didn’t expect it. Valar! No one on Middle Earth would have. 
Y/N became the most adored individual in the entirity of Mirkwood. She made the place happier, the forest was healing and things got better.....
But everyone has things others do not enjoy about themselves. Y/N did too. She was chaos in a bottle. 
Once she had covered onions with caramel and gave it to the palace guards claiming they were caramel apples. The other time she had paired along with with Mëludir, Lindir’s brother who was at Mirkwood and had filled the sweet Lembas bread with mayonnaise instead of cream which had everyone at the dinner table spit it out except Elrond who as wierd as it seemed, took a liking to it. She had put a rat inside Tauriel’s hair, having her scream across the hall. And Rumil and her had filled Haldir’s shoe with mud which had forced the two to hide for the entire day later with Y/N hiding behind Thranduil and his robes flinching everytime Haldir was yelling at her.
“Lady Y/N this is not a joke I had those shoes cleaned yesterday and now you have ruined them! And Rumil you are no less! Is this how you treat me? Your Gwanur(brother)?? Lady Y/N that is not it-”
“Haldir enough leave her be”,Thranduil ordered as he hid you behind him even more as you clenched his robes.
“But-”
“I had helped her put the rat in Tauriel’s hair....are you going to discipline me too?”
“Apologies nin aran (my king), I am just simply worried she will get herself in trouble.....”
“Hmmm you are dismissed.”
With that Haldir had left pulling Rumil along with him. Thranduil looked down to see Y/N poking her head out from behind him and giving him the biggest and most sweetest smile possible. The elven king let out a chuckle as he shook his head. Freezing when she gave him a hug before she ran out mouthing a thank you. 
Thranduil would always side Y/N, even if he wouldn’t admit that she would scare the life out of him everytime she would do something dangerous, the others would warn him about the dangers she puts herself into but he would refuse to believe them. It wasn’t that he believed she wouldn’t do something like that but it was because he believed Mirkwood would be impossible for her to get out of without help.
But oh how wrong he was.
Ever since Y/N came to Mirkwood a few decades ago Thranduil’s daily schedule had always been the same. Wake up, do formal chores (like bathing, having breakfast with Y/N etc.) ,attend court and hear his people out, roam around palace halls or in the kingdom, spend his free time with Y/N and then spend his time researching something in the library before sleeping. This night was no different except there was an erractic knocking on the library doors. Y/N’s lady in waiting pushing through with a very alarmed look on her face. Thranduil cocked an eyebrow at her, ready to yell at her to disturb him at this time of the night. But the look on her face made him wait for an answer.
“Your Majesty, Lady Y/N she- she-”
“I would appreciate if you complete your sentence”
“She dissapeared !”
Thranduil’s eyes widened. An unfamiliar look passing across his face as he unseathed his sword and speed walked out of the library.
“HALDIR !”
“Lord Haldir and the patrolling team is looking for her in the city right now my lord ! She is nowhere to be found !”, the elleth contiued following him. 
“SEARCH EVERY CORNER OF THE KINGDOM !” ,he yelled at her before mounting his elk and riding into the forest.
He searched for her, by the clearing, the spiders nestings, the old bridge, the narrow pathway that lead to the darker parts of the forest. But she was nowhere. 
“Y/N !?”,he yelled for the 14th time, his voice hoarse is eyes seaching frantically. Orcs and Wargs always preyed at night it wasn’t safe.
Splash
He heard the movement of water not much far from where he was he panicked, his elk moving swiftly but gracefully enough to not startle whatever was making the noises but this action was quite ruined by Thranduil yelling out the missing lady's name startling everyone before his eyes. Both him and his elk froze. There Y/N sat, by the backwaters looking at them with eyes widened as big as saucers, along with who seemed like mermaids that swam away as soon as they saw the elven king splashing Y/N with water wetting her completely.
“Thranduil? W-What are you doing here?”,she stuttered.
Thranduil moved closer to her watching as she visibly tried hiding something behind her back. He noticed how she was barefoot and scratches and cuts littered across her feet making his jaw clench.
“What are YOU doing here?”, the blonde elf hissed clearly angry but Y/N couldn’t point out why. Before she could even reply he yanked her hand from behind her back before stilling completely. His eyes unmoving from the contents in her hands. Forget me not flowers..... They had stopped growing in Mirkwood years ago. Drooping and dying more every moment the royal family distanced itself from each other, In grief, pain and misery.
“Where did you-”, ah the cuts on her feet, the dirt on her hands.....she brought them from out of the forest...
“I had seen them on our trip back from Rivendell months ago.....They were dying....I asked the mermaids to help me save them with spells, but you came interrupting them....”,she said in a soft voice, on the verge of tears breaking Thranduil out of his trance as he panicked,cupping her face with his larger hands. “I am sorry Lady Y/N I was simply worried about you, why did you not tell me? I could have helped you...”,he asked looking directly into her eyes as she poorly attempted to not shed any tears. “I didn’t want to bother you. I already bother everyone else. I don’t want to loose all of you..”, she said, tears unevitably falling and rolling down her cheeks. Oh... She thought she was alone...she had never asked for help from anyone....she felt insecure no matter how much everyone loved her....he knew someone who was like her few decades ago.
Him.
“You could never !”,he intended to say softly but it came out as a yell, making the woman flinch. He was mad, at himself for not noticing,for dismissing hints. “You would never......we care for you too much. Valar ! I care about you too much ! Everytime you do something dangerous my heart leaps....but I cannot resist your eyes, your words, you tempting smile.....Look at me....I do not wish to loose you like lost the rest of my people I cared about......”, Thranduil finished, his face only a finger distance away from the girl. “What are you doing to me Y/N ?”, he whispered, the other still trying to process everything. “Can I kiss you”, she whispered back. “Please...”,Thranduil said,his voice almost coming out as if he was begging.
And she did as the king asked, lips moving softly yet with love, for the first time in his entire life, the blond elf had let himself be completely vulnerable. His posture,his personality melting, almost as if a light glow covered around them. Even his dragon fire scar revealing itself for the first time to Y/N as they broke the kiss. Thranduil didn’t flinch when touched it, when she left a lingering kiss on it, smiling that wide smile he adored so much at it. The stayed that way before she leaned into his chest for a while,his arms around her. “No matter how much chaos you create I will never hate you...”, he said as he took in her scent.
Splash!
The voice echoed startling the two as the separated from each other, their faces red, only to see the group of mermaids hiding behind the rocks, their eyes on Y/N’s hands
The flowers were back alive and blooming....
That was the moment Thranduil knew that he had faced dragon fire once, but for his Lady he would face it again and again. He couldn’t help adoring her.
Back at the palace library the book was well forgotten, the pages flipping till it rested on a particular page littered with blue petals
Erevan Ilesere‘s Petal,his descendant on Middle Earth. 
But that is a story I, Gandalf will tell you another time.
--The End--
Finally ! Behold ! I am done after ages of procrastination! Thank you for requesting this fic it was really fun to write ! I may have gotten a bit distracted but did you like the twist ? I'm sorry if it's not really great but I really tried my best🥺.I really hope you did ! @gorgeourrific-nerd you too ! I think it is a bit similar to your request I hope you liked it too ! The rest of ya’ll too I ain’t forgotten ya’ll. Pleade like and reblog my posts if you like them ! Feedback is highly appreciated and please do not plagarize my work. I really work hard on them ! Thank you for supporting me! I love ya’ll so much !!
~Love, Hri
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snothing · 3 years
Note
Request: Drabble in which Jake looks through some old stuff and finds a rather odd yet captivating item: a red tunic with a green scaly leotard, a black-yellow on its right side, a black domino mask, green gloves and finally green pixie boots. he decides to try the suit on
I want to apologize for how long this took! I’ve been so busy with school, and I made this way longer and convoluted than necessary. It’s definitely not a drabble anymore, and I added a lot of sibling banter, lol, I can’t resist. This was so much fun to make, I had so many ideas. Thank you so much for being patient, and I hope you enjoy! 
I decided to deviate from my universe, while keeping some old things. Mar’i and Jake are still twins, and Mar’i can turn invisible.
"Go away, Jaki! This is my hiding spot!" Mar'i whispered-hissed at her brother. She glared at him through a jungle of coats and umbrellas in the armoire, her mouth in a tight frown.
"Oh, come on, Mar'i!" Jake cried. With a flair for the dramatic, he threw his hands up in the air. Of course, his annoying sister would take his favorite, top-secret hiding spot!
"Shhh!" she snapped, finger to her lips. Pink eyes flashed brightly at him. "Would you be quiet? Do you want Dad to find us?"
He pursed his lips and looked down the hall. Pretty soon, his dad would be done counting and be searching for them. Still, a great wrong had been committed in the eyes of Jake. "You took my hiding spot! Get out!" he seethed, just a decibel lower.
"Nuh-uh, it's not your hiding spot!" Mar'i shot back. "You don't own it!"
Jake smirked cockily and pointed a finger past her. "Uh, yeah, Mar'i, I do." 
A deep, unamused frown settled on Mar'i's face as she noticed— in bright cerulean blue crayon— the word "Jake" hastily scribbled on the panel. "That means nothing! You don't own everything you put your name on."
He silently raged. "How am I not surprised a heathen like you-"
"-Heathen?! I watched you squirt an entire can of Easy Cheese in your mouth!"
"That was a long time ago. I’m a different man now."
"It was last week!"
"As I said, a long time ago," he retorted drolly. "Anyway, as I was saying— only heathens don't respect the sacred rules of hide-and-seek!"
"You're so ridiculous," she sighed, exhausted. "You act like I broke the law."
"Well, you might as well have. I'm hurt, Mar'i, really I am. I never thought you'd betray me like this. My own flesh and blood— my wombmate--"
"Ew, don't call me that!"
He clasped his hands together. "I think the only way to solve this and mend our broken relationship is for you to leave and find a new hiding spot."
Mar'i stared blankly at him. Jake was her favorite person in the entire universe, but there were times where she wanted to slap him. "I'm not leaving, Jaki."
"By the love of X'hal, you can turn invisible!" he argued.
"So? Dad's using heat-sensing goggles this time."
"Mar'i!"
"Hey, babe," their father's voice filtered in from downstairs. They stilled, eyes wide and locked on each other. 
"Hello, my love. Are you looking for something?" they heard their mother ask him. 
"Oh you know, just for two half-human, half-alien eight-year-olds? Have you seen them? They're like yay-high, black hair with orange skin? Got glowing green eyes?"
"Oh," Kory chuckled. "I think I know the two. Say, are they dangerous?"
"Very. The little rascals will eat all your cereal and blame it on an innocent larva."
"My, they sound like quite the dastardly duo," she mused. "I believe I saw them go upstairs. Please, proceed with caution."
Dick let out a laugh. "Don't worry, babe. I think I'm well-equipped to handle them; Batman raised me after all."
Mar'i snapped back her attention to Jake, panicked. "Go away, Jaki!" she nearly growled. 
"But-" he tried to argue, but her hand shot out and closed the armoire door, effectively ending their discussion. 
Frantic, Jake looked around for a new hiding spot. Under his bed? No, there was a monster. Behind the house plants? Nope, too obvious. In the air vent? Nah, he'd get stuck again. Finally, his eyes found the inconspicuous attic door. 
He was like 90% sure it was haunted. Uncle Jay showed him and Mar'i a horror movie once, and he learned that attics were prime real estate for ghosts and couldn't be trusted. 
But...
It would probably be a great hiding spot. His dad wouldn't expect it. 
The creaking of the stairs interrupted his thoughts and effectively ended his inner turmoil. He dashed to the attic door and braved the darkroom. 
"Oh wow," he said, looking around. The room was cramped, littered with boxes and other knickknacks. Moonlight filtered in through the port window. "Okay, ghosts, listen. I don't mean to trespass or anything. I just need a place to hide from my dad, alright? So no possessing me, okay? I'll only be here for a couple of minutes."
Slowly, he made his way through the clutter, hoping to find a nice nook to squeeze in. A thick layer of dust coated everything in the room, and it was not long before he started hacking. It was then that his left foot hit a meddlesome snag in the carpet, causing him to plummet down on a pile of boxes. 
He let out a rather undignified squeak when his knee slammed into the ground. A flurry of Tamaranean curse words left his mouth; thank heavens, his mom was not around to hear him. "Stupid ghosts!" Jake spat. The crash was loud. His dad knew where he was now. "And stupid Mar'i for making me hide in this stupid, haunted attic!"
He went to glare at the confounding boxes, but he halted when he saw something interesting. His ire vanished, his head cocked slightly. He pulled himself up from the ground and went to analyze the contents of the fallen box closer, his hand alit with a low-energy starbolt.
Inside the unsuspecting box was a brightly colored uniform. Jake's eyes widened the size of saucers. Could this be? There was no way. But sure enough, he found the iconic scaly leotard and black domino mask. Yep, this was his father's old Robin uniform. 
He stared at the red tunic with the utmost reverence; his thumb traced the R. Jake was so absorbed in the costume he failed to notice his sister hovering over him. 
"Whatcha got there, Jaki?" she asked curiously, face inches from his.
He let out a squeal and jumped several feet in the air. He snarled, eyes ablaze in a blue fury. "Mar'i! Don't do that!"
She snickered, an eyebrow raised. "It's not my fault you're not observant."
"I was in stealth mode," he said defensively. He crossed his arms. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be hiding in my hiding spot?"
She shrugged. "Dad found me pretty quick, so I decided to come to bother you."
Jake was surprised. "Wait, do you mean he didn't hear me fall?"
"Nah, I told him you were being a cheater and hiding outside. Thankfully, you decided to be a klutz after he left," she informed him. She frowned when she noticed the betrayed look on his face. "What? I thought you'd be happy I saved you!"
"I think it's funny you pick and choose when to be a loyal sister."
She smiled. "Gotta keep you on your toes, Jaki. Now, what's that?"
Jake followed her pointed look at the costume. He showed her excitedly. "I think it's Dad's old Robin costume!"
Green eyes rounded. "What? No way!"
"Yes, way!" he dazzled. "Look at the insignia!"
"Whoa," she breathed. She fingered the black-yellow cape gingerly. Her head snapped up. "Come on, put it on!"
"W-what?" He gave her a bemused look. 
"I know you want to," she said wryly. She held up the tunic and pushed it towards her brother. "I bet you'd look just like dad."
"Yeah, but..." he trailed off. Honestly, he did not need much convincing. Jake had seen pictures of his dad in his early crimefighting days, but a thought stopped him. "I don't know, Mar'i..."
"Why not?"
"Well, Damian's Robin."
"And?"
"And I don't want to-- I don't know. I guess I don't want to send the wrong message," Jake answered. He sighed somberly. "Besides, it's not like I could ever be Robin anyway. I'm weird."
"What the heck?" Mar'i spluttered. "You think you can't be Robin because you have powers?"
"Robins don't have powers, Mar'i," he said, dejected. "They don't fly or shoot starbolts."
She snorted. She scooted closer to her twin, looking at him intently. "And? Anyone with a brave heart can be Robin, and as I can see, you have one."
"But-"
"No buts, Jaki," she cut him off. Mar'i was not going to allow her brother to put himself down. "I like you just the way you are. I think shooting starbolts and flying is super neat!"
"You're biased," he chuckled. Mar'i's words instantly made him feel better, though. 
Her mouth blossomed into a silly grin. "Well, yeah, duh. I know if I'm awesome, you have to be. Now, put it on!"
"Okay, but turn around. I need privacy!"
"Yay!" she piped before spinning around. Her arms and legs tingled with excitement.  
"Okay, I think I'm ready now," he told her, a bit apprehensive.
Mar'i whipped around, nearly knocking Jake down in the process. She almost burst out in awe when she saw him there, proudly donning their father's uniform. "Wow, Jaki! It looks so good on you!"
He flushed. His eyes, now concealed by a domino mask, peeked down at his body. It had been a bit awkward in some places; Jake did not care for his legs being so exposed, but otherwise, it fit like a glove. "Really?" he asked, swooshing his cape back and forth.
Her head bobbed up and down. "You look just like Dad when he was young!"
"What do you mean by that, Mar'i? I'm still young!" 
Jake and Mar'i were startled by the voice. They spun around in the direction of the attic door and spotted their dad: the first-ever Boy Wonder and best pancake-maker-this-side-of-the-galaxy-- Dick Grayson. 
"Dad!" the siblings exclaimed in perfect unison. 
Dick chuckled. "And what are you two glowsticks doing in the attic? I thought we were playing hide and-"
He stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Jake. His eyes widened as they absorbed, his mouth agape.
Jake panicked, and shame surged through him. "I'm sorry, Dad!" he said hastily. "I-I was just hiding upstairs a-and I fell a-and I found your old costume!"
"Jake-"
"A-and I knew I shouldn't have, b-but Mar'i said I should-"
Jake paused when he felt his father's hand on his shoulders. He looked up and met his father's loving gaze. "Jake, calm down," Dick comforted. "It's okay."
Jake swallowed. "You're not mad?"
"No, of course not, son," he responded, genuine. 
"Doesn't he look cool, Dad?" Mar'i piped up, a goofy grin on her face. 
Dick smiled tenderly and moved his hand to caress Jake's face. He could not have predicted what seeing his son wear his old Robin uniform would do to him. His heart soared with love and pride. 
"Yes, Mar'i, he looks pretty cool," he agreed. 
Jake beamed and matched his sister's goofy grin. He thought his dad would be mad at him, but thankfully, he was the furthest from mad. 
"But don't think this means you can go out crimefighting," Dick added quickly.
"Aww, Dad!" Jake whined.
Dick wagged his finger at him. "Don't 'aww, Dad' me! You may have the look, but you're not old enough."
Jake pouted. "I'm not a baby anymore, Dad!"
"Aww, but you're still my baby.” He gave Jake a quick kiss to the temple. “Now, come on, you two. Mom made dinner, and I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she sees you."
"Did she burn the food again?" Mar'i grimaced. She loved her mother dearly, but she was not the most adept in the kitchen.
"Yeah, I don't know if I can eat burnt lasagna again, Dad."
"Now, now, glowsticks. Mom spent all day working on this meal!" Dick assured them. He escorted them out of the attic. "It's a dish from Tamaran. I'm sure it'll be wonderful."
Mar'i whispered to her brother, "I like when Mom cooks. We always get McDonald's afterward."
"Or food poisoning."
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imaginewarehouse · 3 years
Text
Various Males x Fem!ExModel!Reader || Oneshot
Plot: You, a retired model get hired at Cloud 9 and, not-at-all-surprisingly, you get harassed by every allegeable (According to them) bachelor in the place- but god fucking damnit! You’re just here to get a paycheck??!  
“You can’t knock ‘em out, you cant walk away,
Try desperately to think about the politest way to say,
“Just get out of my face,”, “Just leave me alone,”
“And no you cant have my number,”,
“Why?”
“Cuz I lost my phone.”
(Inspired by Lily Allen’s Knock ‘Em Out)
Includes (In order of appearance after the introduction bit): Sal Kazlauskas, Garret McNeil, Tate Staskiewicz, Isaac (And I think my favouritism here definitely bleeds through*Cough*), Elias Greene, Cory, Jonah Simms, and Marcus White.
Warnings: Sal, harassment (They leave after you say no though. Just to be sure) 
🔆  🔆  🔆
“And uh, yeah one last thing before we all hop off to work! We have a new Cloud 9 family member. Y/N! Would you like to stand up?” Glenn, the lovely man who took your interview a week ago and then went out of his way today to look for you out front in the morning to show you around quickly and guide you through clocking in, finds you in the crowd of workers and gestures for you to stand.
Oh, uh- uhh, okay! Up we get, then, you think as you stand up like he said and take a look around at all the judging eyes, which normally wouldn’t phase you but here is a lot scarier than what you’re used to. This an entirely different environment to getting up at a modelling gig- you know nothing about working this kind of job! You’ve never done it, so, you’re afraid they’ll judge you right off the bat and make it difficult for you to ask questions. And you can’t keep bothering Glenn- he has more important things to do.
Oh god, you hear whispering. You peer around. Where is that coming from?-
“This is Y/N L/N! She’ll be working with Go back’s today,” Right, Go Back’s Easy enough; Glenn explained them earlier before the meeting started. “So if you see her in your area- be sure to say hello and see if she needs some help, K? Good. We’re jazzed to have you with us Y/N.”
“Thank you!” You quip quickly, then sit down and focus on Glenn again, hoping dearly at the same time that attention disperses from you immediately.
Glenn smiles, glancing down at his clipboard for any last-minute messages. “Okay! I think that’s it, so- “
The whispering from before suddenly cuts off. “Uh yeah, question?” Glenn stops short when a man in the back kind of rudely cuts him off, but sighs out a ‘Yes, Marcus?’ as the woman beside him - Dina, - rolls her eyes severely. Oh, you let a tiny ghost of a smirk slip over your lips. That’s kind of a reaction, isn’t it? “Yo- new girl.” What- me- w h y- You immediately get awkward again and twist around in your chair, but don’t really know who to look at. Luckily the tall brunette in the warehouse uniform is pointing, so you figure it out pretty quick that that’s who you’re looking for, and calm down. Mostly. 
Yeah? You raise one eyebrow. “Hi?”
He grins back to the right and the left of him, to his equally pleased buddies and pals, before raising a Vogue magazine- and it’s the issue on which you scored the front page. Jeez, that was months ago! “Is this you?”
A chorus of ‘Ohhhhh’ and general excitement travels around the room and for the first time ever, you’re half ashamed to admit that yes that is you. In your usual circle this is something to be proud of… but you get that it isn’t really like that, in non-modelling circles. In fact, it could be something to be embarrassed about.
Especially seeing that oh dude and his gang of Michael Myers fashion wannabes look like a hungry, dim-witted, wolves rather than plainly interested about your modelling career.
But, still, you smile politely and nod. Hopefully it’ll be forgotten before the afternoon, at least. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“Nice.”
Hmm… you really, really hope that it’s forgotten soon, at least, as you turn back around to face the front again as Glenn sends everyone off to work. Because if not, then these boys are going to learn the hard way that models take self-defence classes religiously.
Or at least you are going to have a very uncomfortable day, which is just great. You groan inwardly at the thought, as you gather up your coffee from the table beside you and drop it in the trash can on the way out.
~
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You’re just doing your own thing and someone
Comes out of the blue,
They’re like,
“Alright”
But he’s saying
“Yeah can I take your digits?”
And you’re like, “No, not in a million years, you’re nasty.
Please leave me alone.”
There’s already so many Go Back’s! You think excitedly, as you get to work looking for where things should be. You’re glad to have something to do- at your first job with Chuck E Cheese, before you got into the modelling thing, you were basically useless the first day because you weren’t allowed to grill yet, you didn’t know how to assemble, and they didn’t want you out on the floor for the birthday party that was happening, in fear that you would mess up royally. So you just sat around trying not bother anyone, and that felt terrible. So, wandering the aisles of Cloud 9 with a full shopping trolley searching for products and neatening things up? Sounds like a good deal to you. Yes please.
“Uhh, hi.”
You practically jump entirely out of your skin, hearing the voice right beside you and whip your head around to see a balding guy in a blue Cloud 9 jacket. Is this man licking his fingers!?
“Uh,” You step back with your brightest, most polite smile, picking something up from the Go Back’s cart and rounding it to put it between you and the man, before acting like you’re stupid enough to be putting barbecue sauce in the Barbie section, and then… “Oh, oops! Silly me!” You flash the guy a nervous look. “I’m still working things out… “
Well? Better to look like an absolute idiot, then be standing within grabbing radius of the creepy man licking his fingers that you’re all alone in the middle of an empty aisle with. “Um… so, what’s up? Did someone send you to find me, or… am I doing something wrong? You know better than me, after all!”
“No… “His gaze licks up your form and if it weren’t for all your ‘training’ in staying still and not feeling this kind of thing- you absolutely would have wigged out. “You’re doing fine… Just wanted to see you.”
Boy- if anyone else could see your face right at this moment, full of disgust and mild horror, you’re sure you would be YouTubes next hit. Or a meme. “Oh… “You nervously chuckle. “Um, well, I’m gonna… go… “You pull the trolley around so that you can back up out the back of the aisle and escape through stuffed toys, into the open but his hand comes down on the other end of the trolley- stopping it. Before you can stop yourself, verbal diarrhoea spews from your lips. “Glenn has my resume- there’s a photo on there you can have.”
“That’s okay I prefer them to be breathing.” Both his hands are on the end of your trolley now, tight so his knuckles turn white, and he’s breathing unnecessarily heavy. He’s even leaning over the trolley some like his body really can’t handle whatever terrible heat is plaguing it right now. Oh god, oh god oh god oh god… this is so gross.
“Well, that’s… u-understandable...”
He looks up into your eyes, now, and doesn’t blink. Who the hell is this guy?! “Say… “ Oh no, oh no- he’s coming around the trolley-he’s coming around-he’s close-too close-too close-mayday-MAYDAY- Slowly, in your face, he licks up his thumb, makes an ‘Mm,’ sound, and you deeply wince; So much so in fact that one of your eyes completely closes. “Could I take your phone number?”
You absolutely couldn’t have helped what happened next if you had wanted to.
“Eeeeuuuwwwwwwww no not in a million years, your nasty, please leave me alone!!” You exclaim in a high voice before abandoning the trolley and rushing off to customer service.
~
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“No you cant have my number,”
“Why?”
“Cuz I lost my phone.”
By the time you got to the front desk, you had basically calmed down and were mostly just stressed that you left the Go Back’s behind- but still must look troubled as the guy manning the front desk makes a confused, half-concerned but mostly intrigued kind of face at you as you stop there. You’re about to explain your appearance - that or just shrug, not too bothered about reporting whatever mess that was. Not on your first day, at least. No way. - when his face relaxes, and he nods. “Ohhh. Damn, Sal got to you?”
Sal? Was that the guy’s name? You didn’t check. “Oh, was that his name? I was a bit too preoccupied by his eyeballs sucking out my soul, to notice his name tag.” Now that you’re thinking about it, though, you glance at this man’s name tag. Garret.
“Yep, that’s Sal. That’s just one of the wonderful things involved in working here that you’ll just have to get used to.” Garret grins, offering you a chill perspective with a side of cynicism. You sigh, truly feeling relieved that you’ve found a normal person and relax your back against the taller part of the desk.
“Brilliant.” The sarcasm drips off the tip of your tongue.
“You’ll have to deal with a lotta that here, though, looking like you do.” You turn your head to the side to look already exhausted just by the idea, at him. He shrugs. “Hey, I don’t make the rules. I just speak the truth.”
“God- I feel sorry for the other women working here.”
“Oh, no. They’re in a completely different wheelhouse to you. Sorry.” Garret leans on his forearms on the desk, and you roll over to lean on your shoulder and pay attention. “See, you’re a model- “
“I was a model,”
“You were a model- which through primitive male thought process makes you prime real estate. Whoever manages to ‘bag’ you, for lack of a better word I apologise, gets some serious bragging rights.” He shrugs, and looks vaguely apologetic but still some how shameless as this utter bullshit slips out of his mouth. “We can’t help it- some of us don’t even know we’re doing that, but we are. Actually, I’m probably the only one who’ll admit it… which… kinda makes me your best option. Self-awareness, and all that.”
Oh. A dry laugh comes out of you as you feel a text come through in your back pocket and pull out your phone. As you see that its not an urgent message, you immediately put the phone back and glance around for any supervisors before returning to your conversation with Garret. “Oh- of course it does.”
“Exactly!” He grins, and you can’t tell through his expression at all whether he’s genuinely this clueless or if he’s just shooting his shot. “So- “
“No, you can’t have my number.”
“Why?”
Deadass, in a very monotone voice, you say: “I lost my phone.”
Then the two of you just have a stare off for a minute. Garret because he just saw you use your phone, and you because you wont back down.
~
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“Oh yeah, actually yeah I’m, I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby in like 6 months, so no. Yeah, yeah… “
“You know,” The chemist pipes up from behind the Pharmacy desk as you put back some pill boxes he said were fine to return to the shelves, and you glance over at him to show you’re listening, and check his name tag. “I myself considered a career in modelling, before this. People even say, now, that I could model.”
Oh boy. You think, fighting not roll your eyes. And how old are you? Early 30’s? I don’t think so buddy.
“Oh, well, I wouldn’t recommend it.” You flash him a nervous grin before returning to your shelving. “You’re good for, like, 3 years. But then you hit 22 and unless you look like Victoria Justice shared with you whatever youth fountain she got chucked into, then you have to find something else to do with your life- despite having nothing to fall back on.” Okay… so… I might be a bit bitter.
Tate chuckles - and oh boy, he sounds just like your old manager. Totally fake, -, hiding his hands in his lab coat pockets. “Yeah, you’re probably right… Besides, I got the better end of the deal, anyway. Doctor for the doctors, they call us.” They call Pharmacists that? Who? That’s news to you. “Ahhh, yeah… I’m doing pretty well for myself.”
“Yep.” Forcing a fake smile his way, you leave the shelf you were stocking and get closer to the desk to stock another, as Tate’s eyes follow you waiting for encouragement of some kind. Doesn’t he have a job to do?? “You chose well!”
“Yeah, thanks. I know.” Ffffff-f a r out. This guy! “You know, you and me, we’d make a good couple.”
Oh? Dear god? You pause your shelving in surprise at the bomb this man has just dropped so casually, fish oil tablets paused on their journey to the shelf mid-air. Could Garret’s crazy-pants theory have been right?
“Ohh,” You giggle nervously, returning to work a bit faster now. “I don’t know. I think for a pharmacist like you, I would envision, like… “An actual doctor? No, I can’t say that. “A personal trainer, or something. Keep you both healthy all-round, you know? Now that’s a power team.” As long as that personal trainer has humility enough for the both of them, at least.
“Mergh,” He makes a face, like ‘What the heck are you talking about??’, before shaking his head of the things you just said and leaning over the desk towards you. You keep packing, even faster now. Like the Flash. Go! Go! Go! Death Con 5!! “So, whadaya say? I could pick you up Friday after work, and we could head up to one of my timeshares?” He says that like it’s such a selling point! You think, fighting off the powerful urge to laugh but still feeling the panic deep in the pits of your soul. “Stake it out together for the weekend? Get to know each other?”
“Uhh… “Excuses! What are they? You slowly stop stocking, turning around to face him and crossing your arms. The man deserves to at least be faced as he’s rejected; You’re kind enough to give him that, at least. “I’d love to! But, the thing is… “Chewing your bottom lip, you think hard.
Ding Ding Ding!!
“The thing is, Tate… “You fake some nerves, now. “I’m actually, uh… “You look up, face relaxing. “Pregnant.”
Oh boy, the way that man recoils at that word, like a terrified, disgruntled, blonde hedgehog. You’re going to laugh so hard about it, later!! “Oh.”
“Yeah! Oh, I mean, yeah… I’m gonna be having a baby, in like, 6 months so… yeah… Yep.“ You shrug to him, as if its just so unfortunate. “Shame.”
~
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She looks in her bag, takes out a fag, tries to get away from the guy on a blag,
Can’t find a light.
‘’Here, use mine.’’
‘’See the thing is I just don’t have the time.’’
Ahh, lunch. Now you can check your texts! Hmm, you look through your notifications and gradually lose excitement. Mum… mum… mum… phone bill company… friend… mum again…
Ah, the glamorous life of the famous.
You roll your eyes, and get to responding to your mothers texts about dinner and when you’ll be home and how your first day is going, not noticing the not-so-jolly, not-so-green-(unless-you-meant-pot) giant approaching you. When you finally finish responding to both your mum and your friend, you put your phone away and start unwrapping your lunch- a typical ham sandwich that you’re actually pretty excited about. That’s one good thing about your sudden drop in financial status; You can put in your damn sandwich as many pieces of ham and cheese as you like. Grinning excitedly, you pick it up and have it halfway to your mouth before another person - a very heavy, large person, - drops down beside you on the bench you’ve commandeered behind the store. You close your mouth without any delicious lunch inside it and look up, politely to the person who’s joined you.
And all you can think, is wow.
He could put you in a suitcase and walk off with you right now and have no problems.
That’s wow.
“Hi! I’m Y/N,” You introduce yourself, offering a hand for him to shake.
“I know.” Oh, well yeah okay that’s understandable. Glenn did introduce you to everyone this morning. Despite the man’s less-then-excited response, he takes your hand in his and shakes. It makes you all giddy inside, honestly. So b i g. “Names Isaac.”
Do you remember Isaac in the breakroom this morning? You wrack your brain for him, because surely if he was there you noticed him-
Oh. Yep, you remember him. He was one of that Marcus-Dude’s pals chuckling and whispering behind him. He was one of the men that had the magazine with you on the front, and if there’s one thing you know about men who carry Vogue in their locker’s it’s that they fit into only 2 groups- interested in fashion, obviously… and interested in the women. And this man clearly is not interested in fashion. Immediately, on this realisation, you feel disappointed- you really could have liked this man right off the bat…
But it looks like he’s just going to be another of the men at this store you have to get to know, before becoming friendly with.
“So,” He starts, and you fight off a wince. Hopefully, you don’t know what’s coming. But… the likeliness of that is not high. “You wanna go out, some time? I’m a big fan of your work.” He smirks.
“Oh, ha ha.” You laugh sarcastically, shaking your head and returning to your sandwich. You take a bite and- Ahhhhhh, so worth the wait. Oh my god. Food orgasm. “At least you’re honest!”
“Yeah, so is that a yes?” His face brightens a smidgeon, which is a lot seeing as he doesn’t seem to be totally all there, in the first place.
You look up at Isaac, and look apologetic. He was honest with you so its only fair that you’re genuine with him. “Sorry… “
“Ah- actually, I don’t know if this’ll change your mind, but I have 2 weeks to live, so… “
Never mind on that honesty thing, then.
Dull-eyed, you stare up at him. “… Uh-huh.”
“Its true! I have, uh, cancer.” He insists, nodding his head and forcing his eyebrows up his forehead all serious-like.
“Cancer.” Right.
“Yep.”
Right, time to look in the bag... You start to wrap up your lunch again - sadly, as now you’ll have to wait until the end of the day and the bus ride home to eat it, - and plop it back away in your bag, getting up and pulling out a cigarette instead- that should hold you over until the end of the day. “My lunch break is actually over, so I should go- Damn, where’s my light?“
Isaac rifles through his pockets until he pulls out an old looking neon orange lighter, and offers it to you. “Here, use mine.”
Oh, no. You stare at it like a deer in headlights. If you accept that, like you really want to right now because it’s been a month since your last smoke, then you have obligations to sit with him for another couple minutes, at least.
Aghh… You groan and whine on the inside, before making up your mind and flinging the cigarette into a puddle. “See the thing is, I don’t actually have the time-”
~
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“Go away now, let me go.”
“Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?”
“Ughhh… “This one has been giving you looks all day, but had no courage until now to speak to you- but the thing is? He didn’t have the smarts, either, to take off his wedding ring at least before he decided to be a bastard and bother you. So you feel absolutely no regret about being exactly as dismissive or plain rude, as you feel. “Elias? Go away now.”
The nervous man, who’s been ringing his hands this whole time and stuttering through failed date requests that you pretended you didn’t understand because of his struggle, gets panicked. “Just let me ask!- Will, will you go out with me?”
“No.” You yawn, dropping a piglet toy into a basket.
“But!- “
Turning away, you start pushing your trolley along to get to the next aisle. “Let me go.”
“We can go wherever you like!”
Sighhhhhhhhh. You turn around and grant him an audience, putting your hands on your hips and raising you brows at the wedding band on his left hand.
“Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?”
~
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“Please fuck off.”
Oh good god in heaven, they’re going bigger with their proposals.
“Y/N! Will you go out with me?”
This man, Corey, has grabbed the announcement phone now that you’re walking away, making you freeze like the dad possum in Over The hedge and seriously consider playing dead, too, as you slowly turn around to look at him again.
Oh, if only looks could kill- he would be so dead that even Vlad the Impaler’s victims would laugh.
This is your first day, and the fact that you’re being harassed by multiple stupid men is bad enough but now he’s calling attention to you like this? Glenn’s going to think you’re a troublemaker!! Jesus fucking Christ- you need this job! Corey continues to talk into the speaker phone, even as he looks into your eyes and sees his death.  “And… now… you’re looking at me like that, so uh… I’m just gonna… say please?”
… “’Please’ fuck off.”
“Yes ma’am-“  
~
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“Go away now, I’ve made myself clear.
I don’t think so.
Nah its not gonna happen.
Not in a million years.”
Since the run-in with Corey and the following spike in your blood pressure, you’ve calmed down again. But now you’re looking into the two faces of a ‘Mateo’, who you apparently work with, and a ‘Castor’ who does not work here and is not shopping but is still in your face and is t h i s close to feeding that ugly tie to his cousin.
But, still, you’re going to stay graceful, because Castor constantly looks like he’s 3 seconds from pooing himself. “Now please go away, now… I think I’ve made myself clear.” By explaining, politely, that you aren’t looking for a man but thank you for the offer, Castor.
“Oh, but you haven’t heard what Castor does for a living! He’s in insurance,” Mateo explains to you, like this is some huge game changer. When you don’t react, he adds that there’s good money, insurance.
You almost laugh. Does this boy really think you’re such a gold digger? Boy- if I wanted riches then I could’ve easily become a C-Class actor who has no skills in the area, but is pretty so gets praised like she does- like a lotta my model friends.
Instead I’m here, at Cloud 9.
Come to your own conclusions.
But instead of saying that, though, you just shake your head nervously. “I don’t think so… “
“But!- “
“Nah… sorry, its… not gonna happen… “
“But Castor is- “
“Not in a million years… “
~
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“Aw, no. I gotta go. My house is on fire.”
Now, at least this one is respectful, you think, listening to him talk about the products you’re shelving together. He had come over and offered to give you a hand when you looked confused, as a ‘Cheyanne’ had handed you a scanner earlier and then promptly ran off, despite your utter incompetence. You were so relieved that this guy turned up!!
“… so, you just punch in reduce .50, and scan! Its pretty easy, if you have it properly explained to you. I- I was actually in the same situation, as you! When I first started here, except I ended up, uh, reducing all the items in electronics to 15 cense rather than discounting it all 15 percent.” A grin spreads across your lips at the story, and thank god that Jonah had turned up before that happened to you and, with your luck, you got fired for it.
“Oh no!”
“Yeah- Amy, our uh, floor supervisor, was pretty cranky with me about that… “He laughs himself, resting his hands on his hips; Still looking nervous at the memory.
You look back down at the scanner you’re holding and shake your head. “Well at least you know, now! And thank you so much for coming to my aid, haha. I was so lost- you’ve been a huge help! A life saver, truly.”
“Yeah… “ He gives a cute little, reserved smile. “So, uh, its basically the end of the day! Hope you’re first day hasn’t been too strenuous. At the end of my first day, I know I was tired. But I got to go out with a couple of the other employees and have a drink, to destress. If-If you were free, we could… do something. Together.” Your eyebrows slowly raise up your forehead at that, and you turn to look up Jonah, sceptical. What was that? You sure have had a long day, and its about to get a lot longer if this boy is asking what you think he is. “Sorry! Sorry, that sounded weird. Um, I guess what I’m really asking, is… would you like to, I dunno, go out with me sometime? I know some great places.”
Oh, noooooo! You cry, on the inside. You thought you found a normal one!
Still, he is being so nice… The least you could do is let him down easily.
“Oh, Jonah, I actually… oh- sorry.” Your phone beeps in your pocket and you take it out quickly to have a glance - its just your mother… again, - … and suddenly get an idea. Feigning shock, you quickly put the phone away and put down the scanner. It’s time to clock out and go home, anyway, thank god. “I have to go! That was my mum, uh- I really have to go!”
“Wow, wow, wow, what’s wrong?? Can I help with anything?”
Oh… he looks so concerned. He’s sweet.
But before you can rethink your words, this living horror slips out. “My-my house is on fire.”
Oh god, you’re a horrible person.
~
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“I’ve, I’ve got herpes. No- Syphilis!”
Oh thank god the day is over. Rolling your shoulders back, you kneel down at your bottom locker, open it up and take out your bag. Now you can go home and put on Gotham on Netflix, wear no pants and eat thin mints until you fall asleep.
When you get up, you aren’t watching out for a man to be standing barely half a foot away from you - Your mistake, obviously, - so you jolt right out of your skin when you see him and curse. What is wrong with these men? Does Cloud 9 offer complimentary staff ninja classes along with their lack of health insurance? Man, classy company. “Sorry!” You look up past the coveralls after stepping a safe distance back from him, and immediately feel dread deep in your chest. “Oh, hi. Marcus, was it?”
“That’s me! How was your first day?” He asks, seeming polite enough despite the fact that you’re cornered between tall boy and the lockers. And you’re too tired to try and slip away- this boy will get out of your way.
“It was good! Thanks for asking. I’m ready to go home and collapse, though.” You admit, shoulders dropping and a tired smile on your lips. Mmm… thin mints… bed… blankets… Cory Michael Smith… I can taste it… Marcus just needs to get out of my way.
“I hear that.” Evidently not quite as deeply, though, as he moves on pretty fast. “Listen- I was thinking if you’re into it we could… go out, some time.” He tilts his head forward to clarify, “On a date,”, in case that part hadn’t translated, and chuckles. “We could see a movie or get drinks, or something, I don’t know. How about tonight?”
T-tonight? The word nearly slips from your lips; All disbelief and tears and exhaustion, included. You’re so tired. “Um… you know, tempting offer, but um… “He looks so hopeful. It nearly changes your mind. “Not tonight.”
“OH! So like, tomorrow?” Oh christ- “Cuz I’m supposed to watch Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here with my mum, but… no, I can blow that off! So, tomorrow?”
You take a deep breath, not really knowing what you can say. “Marcus… “He raises his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “… I have herpes.”
“Wait, what??” He steps back, nearly tripping over a table in his fear that just being near you will cause him to contract the disease, and you let your guard down in relief. Yep, for sure, definitely. If it makes him back off, then yes- you have herpes. You have a raging, festering case of herpes.
“Yeah! Or-“ Squinting, you pretend to sift through your brain. “Was it Syphilis?” This boys eyes basically bulge out of his head and you’re totally going to laugh about it later, but right now you have to get out of there. You waive your hand dismissively and walk on by him towards the door like you don’t have a care in the world. Before you leave though, you turn around a flash Marcus a big smile. “Either way, ew, right? Well, see you tomorrow buddy! Gotta go! Enjoy I’m A Celebrity with your mum.” Then you’re gone.
Tomorrow is going to be a much better day, once that rumour is properly spread.
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kakashisdarling · 3 years
Text
Breaking point - Kakashi Hatake
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Kakashi x reader (slightly angsty)
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She leaned towards him and gently kissed him. Kakashi pressed his eyelids harshly, he couldnt’t help it but to long for someone else’s lips.
He messed up. Big time. He never felt so lonely and even though he had lost a lot of people, this time it felt different. His eyebrows pinned together as the memories flushed his senses.
“Kakashi, I want something steadier” the kunoichi mumbled softly.
Long had he feared that moment, silence covered the room. It was a rainy morning but his feelings were cloudier than the sky.
“We’ve been together for a while and I-I… I just want to hold your hand inside and outside these four walls, what I mean is-” Kakashi raised his hand, gesturing her to stop.
“I can’t. I never lied to you Y/n, I told you I wasn’t ready” he spitted bitterly as her kind eyes turned sorrowful.
“I’m sorry if I crossed the line, Kakashi” she paused for a moment, carefully choosing her words. “For the sake of my feelings, I think we should stop seeing each other” she spoke softly with a forced smile as she gathered her clothes from the mess on the floor.
He thought it was going to be fine. He thought there was no difference between spending his nights alone or with her. Kakashi wasn’t ready to reach a compromise, the shadows of his past still chased him. He could manage alone, he thought, he always had.
That was the last time he saw her in an intimate manner.
At the beginning it wasn’t so bad, Kakashi had his head all over the place with team 7 and Y/n was avoiding him at all costs. But as weeks and months went by, he couldn’t help it but to feel remorseful. He even started dreaming about her, not only did he long for her body but for the late night chats and the way she danced while cooking breakfast. He missed dearly finding comfort in her arms after a long mission. He missed every second spent by her side. Maybe she was the one who could mend his scars, maybe she was the right one.
Kakashi was beyond wrecked when he heard the rumors. It looked like she had started dating a civilian. And even though he wasn’t the jealous type, he opened his ears every time someone mentioned that man. His name was Yako, he was new in town and he had a young daughter. Kakashi knew Y/n liked children, she once confessed that she considered becoming a teacher at the academy. He felt insecure like never before, which felt so unlike him.
And now there he was, kissing another woman. She asked him out and he said yes thinking it could help him get over his comrade. But it didn’t. He spent the whole evening comparing her to the kunoichi and he felt so annoyed.
“See you around?” the woman asked with a fruity voice.
“Sure,” he waved and tried to smile as his date made her way home.
He figured it was best to take a walk rather than going back to his apartment and his choking emotions. Kakashi really enjoyed taking late walks, it helped him clear his head, it made his feelings and his thoughts feel lighter.
“Daddy, can we get some ramen?” he heard a little voice shouting.
He turned his head to see a tiny girl running to a tall man from the training grounds.
“Your training with Y/n really tires you, doesn’t it?” the brunette man chuckled as he ducked himself to hug the child.
Kakashi felt his blood boiling. That must be Yako, Y/n new boyfriend. They had reached the point of their relationship where she even took care of his daughter’s training.
“She gave her all today, I think she deserves that ramen.” Kakashi froze when he heard a familiar sweet voice.
“All right, Ichiraku it is then. Would you like to come with us, Y/n?”
A nip of jealousy formed in Kakashi’s stomach, guiding him to act in an impulsive way. Part of him wanted to resist the impulse to barge in their conversation but the other part was itching to do something about it.  Either he tried reaching for her again or started forgetting her already, that moment was the breaking point. And before the young kunoichi could reply, Kakashi headed straight to the group.
“Kakashi-senpai,” her voice sounded surprised, her posture stiffened instantly.
“Oh! You must be Kakashi of the Sharingan, it’s such an honor to meet you!” the man cheered while stretching his hand in Kakashi’s direction.
“This is Yako and his daughter Nuura, they own the new bookstore.”
Kakashi gritted his teeth under his mask and nodded politely as he shook the man’s hand. So indeed, he was her boyfriend.
“It’s pretty late, what are you doing here?”
“Nuura is taking the Academy exam next month and Y/n very kindly offered to give her a hand.”
“She is always very kind,” he said more to himself than to the man. Y/n opened her mouth, her confused eyes searching his.
“Well, we were planning to get some ramen, would you like to join us Kakashi-san?”
“In fact,” Y/n interrupted as she composed herself. “I’m meeting my genin team early in the morning, so I should head home.”
“I’ll walk you home, I have some -uh- ninja stuff to discuss,” Kakashi blurted faster than he would’ve liked to. Y/n raised her eyebrow and nodded slowly.
Kakashi expected Yako to say something, he was her boyfriend at the end of the day. Was he simply going to let her walk home with another man?
“Good night, then. See you tomorrow, Y/n.” Yako smiled widely as he took his daughter’s hand and started walking away.
“What was that Kakashi? Why are you even here?” she inquired, a slight hue of annoyance in her voice.
Kakashi didn’t know what to say, why was he there?
“Are you dating him?” he tried to keep an emotionless voice.
“Who? Yako?” Y/n pinched the bridge of her nose, frustrated. “What if I am? It’s none of your business!”
Before he could process his own actions, Kakashi leaned forward and smashed his lips with hers. Y/n wanted to fight the kiss but after a couple seconds she gave in, the kiss felt so consuming. It melted her walls. She had longed for him all those months they spent apart, there was no way of keeping those feelings hidden.
“I’m sorry,” Kakashi mumbled as he pressed his forehead against hers. “I don’t mean to interfere in your relationship but I thought- ”
“Yako and I aren’t together, I’m just helping Nuura. There’s nothing more,” she clarified unsure as to why she did, there was no future between them and she didn’t owe him any explanations.
“That’s… good.” Y/n pinned her eyebrows together, he was a big riddle she couldn’t solve. “I was wrong to think I could simply push you away.” Kakashi sighed heavily, “My past is full of regrets and I always thought I was meant to suffer on my own, but somehow you helped me withstand the uncertainty. You were there for me, you comforted me without judgements. I hope it’s not too late to say this, but I want to be with you. I want to walk by your side and to kiss you goodbye when you leave for a mission. I want to be there for you like you were for me. I w-” his words got lost in his throat as Y/n placed her hands on the corners of his face and pressed a gentle kiss on his warm lips.
“Took you long enough,” she teased, smiling against his lips.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, you just needed time to grasp your feelings.”
Kakashi felt his chest lighter. All his life he had been carrying some heavy baggage and now he found someone who would share the weight with him. He realized he never felt so happy, nor his head had ever been this clear. He knew his life was about to get a little brighter at her side.
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Hey guys! So this was my first time writing angst, bear with me. I also wanted to try a different perspective since I usually use first person. So I hope it’s good enough and more importantly that you liked it.
Also this is the last fic of the 100 celebration, I hope you enjoyed the daily fics. Without further ado, thanks for all your support and thanks for reading! <3
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donablue · 3 years
Text
the ringing stops and they're greeted with an apprehensive "hi there."
"hello."
there's a sharp intake intake of breath but nothing else follows.
grognak waits a couple of beats but the only things they hear are the waves close by, constant and soothing, and the seagulls overhead, also constant, much less soothing. "hello? if you're there, i would like to hang up and try again but i don't have any more change. oh, i know. pretend i called back." she clears her throat, readjusts her grip on the handset. "hello, this is g-r-o-g-n-a-k a-t-t-o-r-n-e-y a-t l-a-w, grognak the destroyer, attorney at law. is this p-o-s-e-y posey?"
"no, but this is p-o-s-y posy," comes the trembling reply.
"oh." dismayed, grognak double-checks her phone's screen. "posy, your name is wrong in my contacts."
"if you are having your phone, why are you being calling from a payphone, grognak?" posy asks, and there's something to her voice that grognak can't place.
"i think, young lady, the better question is why are you answering calls from unknown numbers? stranger danger is very real, you know," they admonish instead.
posy's ensuing laugh is borderline hysterical.
"anyway," grognak continues, tucking their own phone away, "my phone turns on but it won't do anything. technology these days, posy, doesn't last."
"we can be getting you a new one. where are you?"
"i am at the pier. very quiet, much more interesting at night."
"can you be meeting me at the digital den?" posy asks, and grognak overhears some rustling and the sudden slam of what's probably a car door.
"i don't have a car, posy."
"what–? but– sad and sassy...?"
pleased, grognak nods to herself. "yes, i am, thank you!"
"no! your van! how did you get to the piers?"
pulling back to frown at the receiver, grognak huffs, "i walked, how else?"
there's another shorter bout of silence before posy tells them, "okay, i will be getting you. stay on the pier!"
"okay!" grognak agrees cheerfully before hanging up and setting out towards the pier's entrance.
right as grognak finally reaches the main street's sidewalk, a purple car comes to a screeching halt just in front of them. the driver's window rolls down and they're met with a bright smile and an enthusiastic "grognak!"
"posy! it's so good to see you," she returns warmly, wasting no time in rounding the small car to pile into the passenger seat. her knees press uncomfortably into the glovebox compartment.
"strap on!" posy reminds her, and grognak nods, fastening her seatbelt as posy pulls away from the curb.
"this is a very nice car," grognak notes before their sister can start talking. they try and fail to rearrange their legs into a more comfortable position. "a little small. cute, though."
"thank you! this is maxwell!"
leaning forward, grognak pats the dashboard fondly. "hello, maxwell. i hope you've been taking care of posy."
"he can be seating five people and go up mount chiliad backwards," posy lists proudly. "maxwell is a tank! he also does not like having doors."
nodding understandingly, grognak eyes the car door to their right skeptically. "i agree. they are restrictive, and they don't let you feel the wind in your hair."
posy glances at her quickly before swerving them into another lane. "you can be rolling the window down, you know."
"no, thank you. the wind makes my head chilly."
"okay," posy agrees easily, and they lapse into silence.
"i have a lot to be telling you," posy says after several minutes of grognak fiddling with the radio, stopping to listen to some songs, belting along to others, and skipping others altogether. grognak glances at her and her knuckles have gone white around the steering wheel. the only way they can think to describe her expression is unhappy. at least it's not directed at grognak.
and there it is. the guilt, the discomfort, the twisting uneasiness in the pit of their stomach that grognak has been trying to outpace. "phone first," they stipulate, and posy, charitable and kind as she is, acquiesces.
they wind up somewhere in the mountains. grognak's new phone proclaims it to be mount gordo.
once they've parked on a cliff ("i am wanting to be able to see all angles."), posy perches on maxwell's hood and watches as grognak finds a place to stand, finally deciding on a spot to posy's left.
devoid of distractions, she finally gets a good look at posy.
"you look tired, posy," grognak observes, eyes roaming over her sister's painted face.
"i am being very tired," posy admits.
her voice wavers.
posy's shoulders slump inward and she looks so small.
"a lot has happened since you left, grognak. mostly it is being bad things. serial killers, cults, people dying, people leaving, people getting hurt. steven got hurt! shirley got hurt! they are hunting me and rory! i know too much, grognak, i am being too curious! chroy has been out of the city a lot, and i am missing him but at least he is not being in dangers. pillbot was broken and now he is unbroken but people do not treat him like a person! and anto thinks that you might be being the leader of one of the cults!" she lists off, voice growing in shrillness until she punctuates her frustration with a smack to a spot on the hood next to her.
struggling to process the sudden slew of information and unfamiliar names, grognak blinks rapidly, at a loss. "i think i would remember being a cult leader. very busy job, i'd imagine," they finally offer. "too much responsibility, though. not very grognak."
posy rewards them with a weak smile. "i told him it couldn't be you," she mumbles. the smile falls and a shadow crosses her face.
"i did alcohols."
"that's not so bad–"
"and drugs. the serious ones."
"oh."
"i had not been doing either before! and now–" she slides off her car and hits the ground hard. grognak stands motionless as posy slips her hands under her glasses and presses her palms to her eyes. "and i have been missing you, on top of all that," posy changes tacks.
grognak steps closer and stares down at the top of posy's ducked head, taking in the near foot and half of difference between them for a second. it feels a little robotic, a little unnatural, but it's the only thing that comes to mind, so grognak closes the distance and wraps her arms around posy's shoulders in a stiff hug. there's a quiet sniffle, then posy winds her own arms around grognak's middle and leans her weight against her, head coming to rest on grognak's chest.
it feels nice, simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar. something in their chest suddenly starts to ache. their chest also starts to grow damp.
slouching as far as she can, grognak drops her chin onto the crown of posy's head and readjusts her hold on her into something less awkward, tightening the embrace.
"i missed you too," grognak quietly tells her wig, and posy hiccups, burrowing her face further into grognak's chest.
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cacoetheswriting · 3 years
Text
champagne problems, ch.9
Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.
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Chapter Nine: illicit affairs: The direct aftermath of Spencer’s confession. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading.     Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: swearing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, talk of breakup/s, cheating, very angsty, a tiny tiny bit of fluff, this whole series is a real slow burn
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A/N: thank you for the continuous love you are showing to this little story! i can’t put into words how much it means to me, truly!! thank you also to those who expressed whether they would prefer this chapter to be happy or painful, you all really inspired me!! ENJOY!
-
“P-please say something.” Spencer’s plea was barely a whisper.
Time stood still in that moment. His heart was now in his throat, his hands trembling against your soft skin. He could see the sadness in your eyes, the conflict. Hurting you was exactly the thing he wanted to avoid. And as he silently observed the uncertainty cloud your features, his soul ached.
“I-I.. Spencer, I…”
There was a period of time after your breakup where you imagined something like this happening perhaps a million times. Where you wished he’d tell you all of the things he just did. Like a wild dream. A happy dream where you would say you loved him too. He would wrap his large arms around your frame, and never let go again.
This felt nothing like that. This was more like a nightmare.
His voice was ringing in your ears, the confession replaying on loop. You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what to think. You felt betrayed by the man standing in front of you. Betrayed by the words he said.
Most importantly, you felt betrayed by your own feelings.
“Please leave.” You finally uttered, chin trembling.
The sentence came out croaky, broken even, but Spencer heard you. Pain rushed through him, burning his skin inside out. He twitched his nose in a failed attempt at trying to fight back his own tears.
He was prepared for this outcome, he knew it was a possibility. He knew there was a chance you would distance yourself from him. He knew you might get angry. After all, the kiss you shared two months ago didn't compare to what he just weighed off his chest. Especially if you didn't feel the same way.
In this moment however, as he held your face and looked deep into your eyes, his heart was in agony. He wasn't ready to let you go.
“Please leave.” You repeated a little more determined. Your hands quickly travelled to his in an effort to free yourself from his strong embrace.
“Y/N, don’t do this. W-we can talk this out.” Spencer begged, not wanting to let you slip away. “You’re the most important person in my life Y/N. I need you. I-I know that’s unfair. And I know it was unfair to tell you the truth about how I truly feel now, after all this time. I know that. I’m sorry. I am so sorry. Please-e don’t tell me to leave, please. I need y-you.”
“W-what, what about what I need?”
By now, the tears streaming down your face were resembling a waterfall. Everything was heavy, especially your heart. Conflicting emotions circling through you causing your head to spin. You felt like you were losing your mind. As if the room was getting smaller, and the walls were closing in.
“What about what I need, Spencer?!” You cried out, sadness slowly dissipating into anger. Your hands moved to his chest. You pushed him backwards, little by little, struggling to break free. “Get out! Get out! Get out.. Get out...” Your voice faded.
The brunette doctor let his arms fall. Completely defeated he took a step back, giving you space to breathe. Hastily, he wiped his tears away before proceeding to run his fingers through his hair.
An agonising silence filled the room. The two of you stared at one another, both afraid to speak up first. Afraid to somehow make this worse. Salty droplets continued to stream down your face as you tried to organise your thoughts, and your conflicting feelings.
There was no denying you loved Spencer too. You realised now more than ever that you always have. But you also loved Ethan, and you couldn't just walk away from a relationship you tried so hard to build. A relationship that to a certain extent helped you get over the very man standing in front of you.
Which is what hurt the most - Spencer’s impeccably terrible timing.
“W-why didn't you say anything sooner?” You sniffled. “I-I waited for you. After we broke up, before I met Ethan, I waited for you. I-I wanted you Spencer, and you never said anything. You never showed any inclination that you wanted me back. Why?”
The one-worded question lingered in the air. Heavy. Shattering.
Spencer sniffled quietly. A broken look was visible on his features; one to match yours. Tears slowly trailing down his jawline.
“B-because... Because....” He stuttered. Mind racing as he tried to collect his thoughts. Truthfully, Spencer didn't have an answer to that question. He didn't have a good enough reason. “I-I was afraid. I was afraid if I said something I would lose you all over again.”
“How much does it hurt knowing you lost me anyway?” It was the wrong thing to say. You regretted it the second it escaped your lips.
Heartbreak is a whole-body response. Similar to a grieving process, there are a number of stages. A number of reactions. It spreads through the nervous system, the respiratory system, and the endocrine system. It spreads until you’re unable to function.
Your words were ringing in Spencer’s ears. He felt nauseous. The room was spinning. Everything he feared was coming true.
Heartbreak doesn't just affect the heart and brain. It’s a lot more complicated than that.
“Y-you don't mean that.” He whispered, taking a hazy step towards you. “I-I know you don't mean that. Please, Y/N...”
The way he said your name made your heart ache even more. You didn’t want to cause him any pain, just like you knew his intentions weren’t malicious either. Yet, the two of you stood across from one another with nothing between you but hurt.
“I love you. And I-I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but please don’t tell me to go. Please don’t shut me out.” Spencer pleaded. His hands found yours, and he held them close to his chest. “I can’t imagine my life without you. I love you Y/N.” He repeated.
Sniffling, you swallowed your breath. The waterfall ended. Instead, it was replaced by lone wet droplets gradually trailing down your features.
“I love you too.” You expressed in a soft voice before meeting his wandering gaze.
Spencer blinked. His heart fluttered as he registered what you admitted.
“Y-you do?” He didn't think he’d be lucky enough to hear you say those three words again and mean it. Really mean it. Of course he hoped you would. After all, you said them earlier tonight. However, right now it was different. He felt it with every fibre of his being. You loved him back.
“Of course I do! Of course I love you! I always have, and I’m pretty sure I will never stop.” You admitted. The words spilling out of you with such ease you knew it was a sign what you were saying was true. “No-one makes me feel the way you do.”
A deep sigh escaped your lips. “B-but I can’t love you, Spencer. I’m getting married.”
“If Ethan doesn’t make you feel-” He began, but you quickly cut him off.
“You’re the love of my life Spencer. My soulmate. You came into my life at exactly the right time and made it so much richer. You helped me become the person I am today. Our connection is so strong, we can understand each other without a word. We’re combined through heart and mind, and I will never regret the time we spent together. I will never regret loving you.” You revealed. “E-Ethan, however, Ethan is my life partner. He gives me comfort. He’s my right hand. Our bond grows stronger with everyday menial tasks.”
“I could be your life partner Y/N if you just gave me a chance.” Spencer’s hands moved to your cheeks once again, cupping them gently. “You told me you wanted to marry me before, we can do that.”
“Spencer...”
“Y/N, there is no doubt in my mind that I would do anything to spend the rest of my life with you. If you’ll have me.”
It was a proposal. A marriage proposal.
Spencer didn't have to specify, you knew that it was. You knew what he meant. He didn't have to get down on one knee with a diamond ring in hand. He didn't have to ask, ‘will you marry me?’. He didn't have to make it intentionally romantic. His words alone were evidence enough. Spencer Reid wanted to marry you.
“I-I, I need some time to think. I-I can’t just drop everything and run away with you. I hope you understand that Spencer.”
The hazel-eyed doctor slowly nodded his head. “Take all the time you need Y/N. I’ll wait. I will always wait for you.”
And with that, his lips found yours.
Despite the complicated situation you both found yourselves in. Despite the difficult position, and the choice you were now facing. He held you as close as it was humanely possible. Nothing mattered. The world slipped away. Your hands moved around his neck. Heartbeats syncing into one. 
Both of you revelling in the thought you found each other once again.
And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times
-
A/N: hope you liked this chapter and as always i’d love to hear your feedback! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x
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story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94, @stepsofthefbi, @chatterbug2-0
spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no, @calm-and-doctor, @idroppedmygourd, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel
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sweetchup · 3 years
Text
A Helping Hand 4: Ghosts of Past // Day 3 🌙
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Type: Shalnark x reader
Au?: Savior Au
Word Count: 2,000+
Warning: Past Character death, Bribing, Drinking, Trauma
Author Note: Sorry this came out a little later in the day than expected. I hope people like it and let me know in the comments who you think the ghosts are. Sorry for making y’all cry
<—(Pt.4.3☀️) / (Pt.5)—>
A Helping Hand Masterlist
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���All right.” You mutter to yourself, quickly centering the fluffy cat plush on the grave before taking a step back to take a look.
You and Shalnark had done a lot for Pakunoda’s grave, from cleaning up all the dirt and cobwebs surrounding it to getting some of her favorite things to place on her grave. You just hoped, somehow and somewhere, she would be satisfied…
As you wipe the sweat off your brow, you look out the window towards the already night sky. Time had passed by so quickly while you were working. So much so, you had nearly forgotten about Chloe. Thankfully, Shalnark had offered to go grab Chloe for you at the last minute while you finished things up.
“Hey nice job. You even lit the candles.”
Speaking of the devil, you turn around to see Shalnark entering the room, Chloe trotting close right behind him. As the cat comes running up to you, you notice Shalnark holding two bags in his hand.
“What did you get?” You questioned out loud as you lean down to pick Chloe up. Shalnark gives you a confused look before looking at his hand and realizing what you were asking.
“Oh.” Shalnark fumbles with the bag before handing you a can, “I got us a couple of beers to drink.”
“Beers? Shal I don’t think…” You watched appalled as Shalnark proceeded to chug a whole can down in front of you. “...you should be drinking…”
“Oh come on, Doc. A couple of drinks won’t hurt anybody.” Shalnark chuckles out, jumping back onto the rock behind him to sit before pulling out another can. Suddenly as he takes a sip of his next one, a mischievous look flashes on his face. “Hey (Y/n). I say we have a little drinking contest to see who has a bigger toleran—.”
“Nope” You deadpanned, not even leaving room for Shalnark to argue back. As a gust of wind passes through the old building, causing it to moan lightly under the wind’s strength, you feel a shiver run up and down your spine. Damn, even though you were wearing a ski jacket and scarf it was still cold.
Shalnark lets out a small sigh to himself before shrugging his shoulders, “Fine, Fine. Guess I’ll have to drink this all by myself then.”
“Shal no—.”
Quickly, you attempt to take the can from Shalnark’s hand but the male caught onto your intentions and was much faster than you. Holding the can far away from your reach, you glare up at him in annoyance.
Unfazed by your threats, Shalnark leans forward to you and whispers, “Then, Drink with me (y/n).”
After a couple of minutes of staring each other down, and an attempt from Shalnark to chug down another beer, you realize you have to give in. Sucking your teeth in, you, begrudgingly, open a can and take a sip. Instantly, you feel yourself cringe at the bitter taste the beer held. It definitely wasn’t your type of drink to have.
“Am I sensing a chicken?” Shalnark teases out, already in the process of crushing his second can in his fist. You send him a quick glare, already wanting to just strangle him right then and there, as you bring the can up to drink from again.
You can feel the alcohol flow through your body almost instantly as Shalnark makes you drink more. It was just like what those textbooks you were forced to read in college said. You felt it in your brain first, euphoric and relaxed as if you had no worries in the world. Like a false haze fell over your eyes, blinding you from the rough truths of the world. Then, you felt it in your muscles. Your speech was getting more and more incoherent, your hands were shaky and, eventually, it got to be such a struggle to even stand that Shalnark had to help you sit down next to him…
To him…
You let out a small giggle to yourself as you stare at Shalnark. His blonde locks shimmering under the light blue glow of the moonlight as he tipped his head back once more to take a gulp from his can. His Adam’s apple bobbing back and forth a couple of times as he swallows before he pulls the can down to rest against his thighs. You watch as his aquamarine eyes, that seem weirdly more blue now, turn to look over towards you.
“What?” He questions out, his words coming out as a whisper, “Why are you staring at me?”
Because your Handsome, obviously?
Perplexed, you watch as Shalnark suddenly throws his head back in a fit of laughs. What… What was wrong with him?
It takes a couple of minutes but eventually Shalnark calms down and looks at you; his face covered in a wide grin.
“Handsome, Huh?” He teasingly questions out, giggling slightly as you choke on your drink. As you hack your lungs out, you can hardly let out anything, only able to muster a small murmur of a word after a couple of minutes.
“W-whAt…”
Shalnark gives you a moment to compose yourself, handing you a water bottle after your coughing calms down before proceeding to explain.
“I think you might have drinked a little bit too much if you can’t distinguish between your thoughts and what you say, Sweetie.” You flash Shalnark a quick glare at his statement. He seemed to be having a playdate with the amount of teasing and reactions he has been able to wring out of you. You will admit it was funny at first but now it was just getting plain annoying.
Just give him a good smooch. It’ll shut him up real good.
You nearly choked on your water as you proceeded to quickly spin around. What in the world was that. There wasn’t anyone else around from what you could see and sense but you could have swore you heard another’s male’s voice. It couldn’t be Shalnark either. The one you heard was ruff and rumbly, nothing like Shalnark’s. So—
“You okay?” Shalnark calls out, breaking you out of your thoughts.
You feel yourself pause for a minute, your thoughts needing a minute a couple of minutes to catch up to you before answering, “Ah… Yeah. I just thought I heard something…”
Shalnark thinks for a second before letting a light hum in response.
“I don’t hear anything. Well… Unless you count Chloe rolling around in the petals—“
You cut Shalnark off with a loud gasp, “Chloe No. No. No!”
Quickly, you scamper over to Chloe, picking up the cat before she could possibly roll and knock over anything on the grave. She was usually quite the respectful cat, not much to cause trouble, so it surprised you that she was acting like this. You hoped the gods, or whatever supernatural force that existed out there, won’t strike you down for your cat rolling around on Pakunoda’s grave like that.
“What’s with you Chloe… you never roll around like this unless someone is giving you belly rubs—” You end up cutting yourself off as a loud yawn forces its way out of your mouth. Oddly, the tiredness of today’s events suddenly hit you like a truck making you feel absolutely drained.
“Eh? Tired already?” Shalnark chuckles out as you practically collapse next to him. “You do know our hotel is on the other side of the city right?”
“Please tell me you’re joking…” You pleaded out. You knew, from experience, how hard it could be to grab a cab this late at night especially if your hotel is on the other side of the city.
“Sadly not Princess.”
You let out a small whine as you defeatedly fall backwards to lay on the rocks.
“Well, didn’t you stay here with the troupe for a while? Do you possibly have a place to sleep here, just for tonight?”
“Well, we do. But, when we stayed here in York New it was during the summer, not the winter. So we don’t have anything that could possibly keep us warm except for the candl— what…” You sit up a little as you hear Shalnark pause and suddenly rummage through his plastic bag, “A Blanket…”
After hearing what he found, you fully sit up and lean over his shoulder to take a look.
“That’s actually perfect.” You murmur out, reaching down to touch the fabric, “It’s big enough for both of us and the fabric is extremely thick to keep us warm. We will be perfectly fine if we have this and our jackets on.”
“I-it’s not that. It’s just I didn’t— this wasn’t… in the bag before. I didn’t buy this.” Shalnark mumbles out confused as moves around the blanket. Testing to see if he was really seeing what was in front of you two.
“Perhaps… you accidentally grabbed it or switched up with someone else’s bag?”
“W-well no. I didn’t see the blanket when I took out the drinks earlier—“ Shalnark is cut off as you take the blanket from him. As you unfold the fabric, Shalnark sighs to himself. What was he thinking? Getting all worked up over a blanket. You were likely correct, he or the cashier likely misplaced a blanket in his bag. Shalnark huffs out a laugh as a sudden thought comes across his mind. Uvogin would surely beat his ass if he saw Shalnark suspicious of a mere blanket.
A frown slowly makes its way on Shalnark’s face as his thoughts escalate. What was he doing? Sitting here like a school boy with a crush, falling hopelessly in love with you. He wasn’t dead, he still had his nen, the rest of the troupe is very much still alive… and Hisoka was still on the loose. Plus, if…
“What's important is the survival of the whole, not the individual."
"The worst case is all of us dying. The end of the Spiders."
… Hisoka actually succeeds in killing the other spiders then he would have to rebuild the spider… Right? And, you… you couldn’t come along with him if that's the case. You live in a different world than him. You were a caring doctor and he a cold blooded kill—
Shalnark winces as a firm smack hits the back of his head, nearly sending him flying forward.
“Ow. (Y/n)... what in the world was that for?” Shalnark grumbles out annoyed as he massages the back of his head. He’s not sure why you’re mad but you didn’t have to hit him that hard.
“Huh? What are you talking about?” You questioned out. As Shalnark spins around to give you a piece of his mind, he pauses. You… you were on the total opposite side of the giant flat rock in the process of setting up the sleeping area. “Ah. Do you mean these pillows? I found them in the corner. It’s so weird, they are practically brand new.”
“Oh yeah… that's it…”
If you were over there, then who smacked him. Was it…
… A Ghost?...
… No, no. That’s totally absurd. That’s the type of stories the boss would believe in, not him. He just… drank too much. Yeah, That’s it.
As Shalnark finally calms himself down, he decides to make his way over to you. Slowly, as you two settle down to sleep onto the cold surface, Shalnark can already feel you begin to drift to sleep off in his arms. He, very carefully, pulls you closer to him.
As he does so, he can hear the faintest whisper off in the distance. He almost mistakens it as the wind if it weren’t for the distinct familiarity in the voice.
Be selfish, Kid…
.
..
“Uvo…?”
Shalnark decided that night…. that you two were going to leave York New the very next morning.
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Taglist: @meromelodi, @quartetstarheaven , @yumezai , @lvndrhwis, @writtenappreciation , @jojo-sinner, @pastelbear12 , @aly-kurta , @bbunnycore , @feifood , @akobere7u7 , @aleksa784
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feitan-apologist · 3 years
Text
Feitan x Reader (Not SFW)
Content Warnings: 18+ only, Noncon (dead dove do not eat), kidnapping+imprisonment, whipping, orgasm control, forced orgasm, verbal degradation
AFAB reader
Synopsis: reader is a beginner nen user and has been investigating the phantom troupe. instead of killing them, our smol sadist decides kidnapping them to play with might be more fun :)
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The moment you regain consciousness, you know something is wrong.
Your awareness comes back slowly, dragging itself up out of a murky haze, and with it discomfort. The first stirring of alarm comes when you try to move your arms. Still shrouded in fog, you strain for a few futile seconds before realizing that your arms are tied behind your back, you think with rope, and you can’t move them at all. The stiffness in your shoulders tells you that you’ve been positioned like this for a while.
Instinctively, you call forth your En, wanting to know where you are and what - or who - is around you. But when you reach for the power that’s simmered under your skin for the past year, always ready, always accessible, something just… doesn’t connect. You still have a life force, obviously, but it feels blocked off somehow, like it’s just beyond your reach, fingertips brushing it but unable to grasp ahold.
The twinge of alarm in your chest has ballooned into panic, and you start to sweat, heart hammering against the inside of your chest. From the feel of it, your ankles are tied to the legs of a narrow table that you’re currently bent over, holding your legs spread open; in addition to your arms bound behind you by an intricate braid of rope that secures you from shoulder to wrist, you can feel something fitted snugly around your neck. As you open your eyes, seeing nothing but a blank, dark wall in front of you, your attempt to lift your head is stopped with a jolt as the short chain attaching your collar to the table snaps taut. And most insidiously, the chilled air brushing against your skin tells you that you’re completely naked.
As your brain processes all this new information, a single coherent thought pops into your head - oh, fuck.
“You’re awake.”
The quiet voice behind you makes you freeze. You stop breathing, every muscle tense, as the voice’s owner slowly steps into your field of vision, and when you see who it is, you could swear your heart stops beating.
“Feitan.” Your strangled whisper, barely audible even to you, prompts the corner of his mouth to rise imperceptibly. The Phantom Troupe’s torturer stands relaxed before you, shirtless, pale chest shining in the dim light. His face is impassive; he seems completely emotionless as he stares down at you, bound and growing increasingly panicked before him.
“You can’t use your Nen,” he says in that soft, unsettling voice of his. “I’m sure you’ve noticed by now. But there’s no point in trying. You can’t escape.”
“W-Why am I here?” you choke out, every muscle in your body still rigid. You can’t stand to meet his gaze; instead, your eyes stare straight ahead, unblinking.
“You were getting a little too nosy for our liking. I was just going to kill you, but when we were going through your computer, we saw some… interesting things in your search history. I was so surprised, a bland little thing like you… I decided it would be a shame to kill you without playing with you first.”
You recoil in disgust at his choice of words. What the fuck?? What is he talking about? Your mind scrambles for a response, but he continues before you can get a word in.
“I can tell you’re afraid.” He removes a hand from his pocket and cups your chin, tilting your head as far as the collar and chain will allow and forcing you to lock eyes with him. He smiles, and your blood runs cold. The look in his eyes is unmistakably that of a predator sizing up its prey. “That’s good. You should be.”
With that word, he releases you, striding back around the table where you can’t see him. You strain your head, trying to track his movements, but the collar gives you a very limited range of vision. “Wait!” you cry, “what are you - please, what do you want? I’ll - I’ll give you what you want, just please let me go.” Your voice comes out terribly weak-sounding, and you inwardly scream, pulling against your restraints with a renewed vigor, desperately trying to conjure forth the Nen that continues to elude your grasp. He snickers, the sound coming from a good distance away, so you jump in shock when his hand caresses your ass a moment later, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You shrink from his touch, shrink from the thought of what your revealing position, bent over like this, implies. No… he wouldn’t… he can’t…
“I already have what I want. I’ve caught you, and now I get to have my fun with you.” There’s no mistaking the glee in his voice, filling you with dread, your mind whirring ever faster toward the inescapable truth of the situation. His hand slips away from your ass, and you hear a faint rustling - he’s holding something, but you don’t know what. The seconds tick past, no indication of movement from behind you, and you find yourself holding your breath in anticipation. Your heartbeat thuds against the table, against the inside of your chest, the utter silence threatening to drown you, the blood roaring in your ears, what is he going to do to me, oh god oh god oh god-
Your thoughts are cut off as the whip cracks across your ass, hard, and you scream - honestly at first merely from the shock of the impact and the loud noise, adrenaline numbing your senses. But a moment later the pain registers in your brain, a line of white-hot fire running across your backside, and your throat tightens, breathing growing fast and shallow. “Feitan, please-”
“Oh, that hurts, does it? I thought you were tougher than that.”
The whip slashes you again, lower this time, leaving another line of heat in its wake. “Stop!” you cry, desperately fighting back the tears forming in your eyes. He laughs wordlessly, letting a long, silent second stretch out before slashing you again, then again, each crack of the whip punctuated by your cries. You strain your head, trying to see where he is so you can anticipate when the next hit will come, but he’s out of your field of vision - the only thing you can see is the blank wall in front of you. He’s varying the amount of time between whips on purpose, you realize, sometimes landing three or four in agonizingly quick succession, sometimes letting long seconds stretch between each one. The anticipation has you shivering, squirming in your tight constraints, not knowing when the next lick of pain will cut into your flesh. He’s trying to get inside your head, amplify your fear and helplessness, make you weak.
And fuck, it’s working. You’ve taken worse than this in training, far worse, and he’s right, you are tougher than this. A whipping should not be enough to have you undone, tears now streaming down your cheeks, body flinching as the blows land across your exposed ass and thighs. Except… training had also never left you with this terrible tension between your legs. The criss-crossing web of angry red marks Feitan’s whip had created were practically glowing with heat, and while the stinging, burning sensation was undoubtedly painful, with the anticipation and the fear and your adrenaline-addled brain… it also felt a whole lot like pleasure.
As the whip landed again, the cry you let out was unmistakably close to a moan. You could hear the delight in Feitan’s voice as he stepped closer, running a hand across the angry flesh of your backside, his cool fingers tracing the lines he’d made. “Like I said, I was surprised at the things you watched to get off. We share many of the same tastes, you know. But between the two of us, we both know which one is the little masochist.” At the word masochist, his hand dips between your legs and strokes the wetness that’s gathered there. You gasp as his fingers find your clit, swirling over it in a motion that draws a moan equal parts shame and desire from your lips. “What a fucking slut you are,” he murmurs, “getting wet from me whipping you. You’re pathetic.” You cry out as he slides two fingers into you, curling them against just the right spot.
“Don’t,” you whimper, “please.”
“Oh, you don’t think this feels good?” Feitan asks. “Fine. Maybe you’ll prefer this.” His fingers slip out of you and you can hear him rummaging with something underneath the table. Realization dawns on you as a telltale buzzing starts up, a moment before he presses the vibrator against your clit. You moan, back arching involuntarily as you press down onto the wand, shame flooding through you a moment later at how good it feels.
“No, stop, don’t… don’t make me-”
“Oh, I’m not making you do anything,” Feitan says, securing the vibrator in place and sliding his fingers back into you. He leans over you, drawing his fingers in and out in a slow, consistent rhythm. “It’s not my fault you’re a little painslut that gets off from me hurting you.” He lowers his head to your bare shoulder, and as you feel his cool breath on your hot skin, you wonder if he is bizarrely going to kiss you. When his mouth meets your flesh, however, it’s his teeth that sink in, eliciting a new, different sort of pain. You can’t help but moan as he harshly works his mouth on you, sucking and biting your skin in a way you know is going to leave a bruise. You writhe, trying to get away from the sensations of pain, of pleasure, the two almost indistinguishable now, overwhelming you. You realize with horror that you’re already well on your way to orgasm - usually it takes you longer than this, but fuck, you can’t help it, you can’t stop the bombardment of stimuli hitting your body, his fingers working expertly inside of you, the burning marks covering your backside, the vibrator inescapably pressed against your clit.
“Please stop,” you beg, humiliated, desperate, you can’t come from what this monster is doing to you. Being degraded like this is bad enough, but you can’t give him the satisfaction of enjoying it.
“Getting close, are we?” Feitan leans further over you, whispering his next words directly into your ear. “Don’t you dare come without my permission. Understand?” When you don’t respond immediately, he grabs a fistful of your hair with his free hand and pulls, hard. You yelp, and quickly stutter your assent, yes, you understand. “Good.” He lets go of your hair, releasing the tension on your scalp, but in the next moment his mouth is on the side of your neck, working his teeth into the soft flesh above the collar. You jerk away but are stopped short by the chain, and he digs his teeth in so hard you’re afraid he’s going to draw blood.
It’s jarring having him so close, so intimate. The faint scent of his hair, the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the wet heat of his mouth - it’s a disgusting parody of the intimacy shared by actual lovers. You close your eyes, squeezing out the tears still freely flowing, and try desperately to dissociate. You don’t want to be here, trapped in your aching body; you will your mind to go anywhere else, to drift off in some fantasy that will let you escape the horror of what this man is doing to you. But you can’t. If it were purely pain you had to endure, you’d be able to do it, you were sure, but you’d never had to contend with someone using your own body against you like this.
The seconds tick past as you writhe and moan and shake beneath him, gritting your teeth, breath coming in short gasps, and then - you can’t do it. Your resolve breaks, you can’t do it, you can’t hold back any longer, you feel like you’re going to explode, and you let the pleasure come freely, gasping as you reach the edge. Remembering his threat, you ask through clenched teeth, “Can I come?” Feitan leans back, huffing out a breath, and you can feel the self-satisfied smirk on his face. He’s won.
You don’t understand when the stimulation suddenly disappears, his fingers slipping out of you and the vibrator pulling away. Your pussy clenches around nothing, desperately seeking the pleasure that was there a moment before, the orgasm still so close. A sound of utter betrayal escapes your lips as you realize what he’s done.
“What? Weren’t you asking me to stop just a few minutes ago? I thought this is what you wanted.” The glee in his voice is unmistakable, and in that moment, you hate him with every cell in your body.
“You fucking basta-Aagghh!” your words are cut off as the whip slashes across your ass again, catching you completely off guard. You sob in anger and pain as he whips you hard, five times in immediate succession. The brief break your tender flesh had been granted only heightens the pain as five fresh marks join the lattice of swollen lines covering your ass and thighs. “Fuck!” you scream, fresh tears springing to your eyes.
“Oh, you poor thing,” Feitan says derisively. In the next instant, he’s pressing the vibrator against your clit again, laughing at the way your body immediately reacts, arching into the stimulation. You can’t fight the whimpers escaping your mouth, every muscle in your body tense and shaking as the orgasm previously denied to you builds back to a crescendo.
“Please can I come?” you cry, and the fact that you already know the answer doesn’t ease the agony as Feitan pulls the vibrator away, leaving you teetering on the edge but unable to push yourself over. You sob as he whips you again, no longer making even the barest effort to hide your pain and frustration. You realize distantly that you’re breathing too fast, too shallow, and your head is spinning; it’s a good thing you’re laid out on this table, because there’s no way you could remain standing right now.
Done with the whip for the moment, Feitan leans over you, sliding two fingers deep into your cunt and rubbing your clit with the other hand. “Do you know how absolutely dripping wet you are right now?” he murmurs. “It’s pathetic.”
“Fuck you,” you reply through gritted teeth, but then he curls his fingers in just the right way, and- “Aaahhh, pleeeease may I come?”
“No,” he replies, voice full of malicious glee, pulling away, and you brace yourself for the whip you know is coming. You’re caught completely off guard, then, when he presses the vibrator against your clit just moments later, and you’re immediately pushed back to the edge.
“OhhhhfuckcanIcome?” you gasp, and when he pulls the vibrator away, the noise you make is one of absolute despair. You’re exhausted from the pain, from the stress, from the edging; you’re dimly aware of how not in control you are, mind clouded over with fear and desperation and the overwhelming desire - no, need to come, you’ve never been this desperate in your life, and while you hate the man standing behind you with your whole being, you’re also utterly dependent on him for the release your body is begging for. “Feitan,” you whimper, “please, I’m begging you, please, stop, I need to…”
“Oh, you need to, do you?” He runs his hand over your ass, fingers grazing over the lines he’s left, dipping lower to teasingly trace over your cunt before returning to their original path. “You’ll just die if I don’t let you come, will you? Is that how this works?” He laughs at your quiet stream of pleases, muttered almost unintelligibly as you shake and cry before him.
His hand disappears, and suddenly he’s in front of you again, crouched down so that your eyes are level with his. His fingers curl into your hair and yank, forcing your eyes open, and you stare at him through a haze of tears. “You want to come? Earn it. And don’t even think about biting me - you won’t live long to regret it.” He stands, hands fumbling with the front of his pants, and you understand as he frees his cock and shoves it against your lips. You hesitate, recoiling at the thought, but as he grabs your hair again and pulls hard, you open your mouth for him.
Feitan doesn’t hesitate to shove his cock down your throat, making you gag and struggle to turn your head away, fighting his grip. He holds himself there for a long moment, then pulls out long enough for you to gasp for air before shoving himself in again. You struggle to control your tongue and lips as he fucks your mouth in earnest, staying just shy of the point that will make you gag but setting a rapid pace that almost immediately has you struggling to take in enough air. You’re torn between a desire to make this as unpleasant as you can for him and just wanting it to be over as quick as possible. Not that you have much control over that anyways - both of his hands are tangled in your hair now, controlling the speed and angle of his thrusts, and you can’t so much as turn your head away.
“Look at me,” he growls. You strain to meet his gaze at this awkward angle, and a jolt runs through you as you lock eyes. His face is twisted into what could only be described as a manic euphoria - eyes wide, pupils dilated, a slight sheen of sweat coating his temple, and a smile of pure, sadistic delight on his face. It’s the expression of someone unhinged from reality - and who’s loving every moment of what they’re doing.
Feitan pulls out of your mouth suddenly, leaving a strand of saliva hanging from your lips to the head of his cock. He surprises you as he releases his grip on your hair and lowers a hand to caress your cheek; the gesture is soft, completely incongruous with the rest of his actions. “You look perfect like this, you know,” he says quietly. You stare back at him in shock, at a loss for words. What is that expression in his eyes? If the thought didn’t strike you as absolutely absurd, you’d call it affectionate.
You don’t have time to say anything, though, as he strides around the table again and positions himself behind you. You let out a choked cry as you feel something hard press up against your opening, and within the next moment he’s pushed inside you. The “No” dies on your lips as he slides in deep, stretching you out, hitting every nerve inside you, and your back arches against your will. You don’t want it to feel good, you don’t want this at all, but the fresh tears that slide down your cheeks as he begins fucking you aren’t ones of pain. Your body screams in pleasure every time he slams into you, rough and fast, his hands gripping your whip-damaged hips, and you’re reminded just how close you were to coming before. The slight gasps coming from behind you tell you that Feitan is getting there as well, and you fleetingly rejoice at the thought that this will be over soon.
The sound that leaves your mouth when he reaches down to rub your clit would have made you ashamed, before. Now, the only thought in your head is of release. You’re at the edge again immediately as his fingers practically attack your clit, rubbing too hard, too fast, it’s almost painful, and you don’t even attempt to ask before letting the orgasm bloom inside you. In that moment, everything falls away. Your entire awareness is focused on the pulsing heat between your legs and his cock still pounding into you, your pussy clenching around every thrust as you come harder than you ever have in your life. You don’t know if you scream or sob or stay silent. You aren’t aware of anything besides how unimaginably, exquisitely perfect you feel.
It’s bliss.
.
You barely notice as Feitan comes inside of you, pushing in as deep as he physically can before eventually pulling out, leaving you limp on the table. You don’t know how long you lay there, eyes shut, mind drifting in and out of awareness as he does god knows what in the room behind you. You like it this way. It’s so much easier not to think.
When he eventually walks around into your field of vision, he’s fully clothed, face covered by a bandana, his earlier expression now replaced with the usual impassivity. He crouches so his face is at eye level with yours and gazes coolly at you. “You disobeyed me.”
“I - what?” you mumble, raising your head.
“You came without asking permission,” Feitan says calmly, drawing a knife from his pocket. You stiffen, eyes wide as he raises the blade and delicately traces your jaw with it, keeping the pressure light enough to not break the skin. “I told you you’d regret it if you disobeyed me. And you did it anyways. You’re even more of a masochist than I thought.”
“No - I - that’s not-”
“Shut up.” The blade is at your lips now, tracing the outline of your Cupid’s bow. “I made a good choice when I brought you here. You’re going to be a very entertaining little pet. Now-” he stands abruptly. “I’ll be back in a few hours. I’ll punish you then.”
You twist your head around as you try to follow his departure from your field of vision, a sense of relief filling you at the thought of even a temporary reprieve. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he says from behind you. You jerk as he clicks the vibrator to life and presses it against your overly sensitive clit, trying to angle your hips away. He only pushes it harder up against you and secures it in place against the table with what sounds like a metal clamp. “Maybe this will make you more obedient.” You squirm, arching your back and wriggling your hips to try to escape the stimulation, but it’s no use - the vibrator is pressed up snugly against you, and it won’t budge. Your stomach drops as you realize how he’s going to leave you.
“Wait!” you cry, mind racing for something to say to make him change his mind.
Your answer is the slam of the door behind him as Feitan walks out.
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