#there's so much to tag! aaa!

[zarla-s]

And the last set of holiday sketches! Just a random mix of things, haha.

[patreon]

[eyes-of-nine]

pls assume i'm thinking about this moment 24/7 all week every week

[chocmoch]

ive just been thinking of a radiorose sequence where rosie (because she's named rosie yk) hands alastor a rose... and then it withers in his hands, and then she gives him another, and it withers, and then it's just half an hour, from a side view, of them continuously exchanges roses

[im-not-a-sheep]

I spent too much time on this haha (I love them)

[pumpkinlesbiam]

its just me aand this bucket against the world 

[hwaitham]

is japan's number two hero really in love?! it's more likely than you think! welcome to the world katsuco!! (  ྀི⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄  ̫ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝) 

[master-xochimilli]

Fuck he makes my brain so so mushy, heart pounding so loudly and gets me blushing way too easily!!! I love giving them my entire heart, knowing I'll be treated so so softly and caringly !!!!!

[my-name-is-apollo]

Wanna share some newly found Admetus x Apollo crumbs!! because I just love them and they never fail to make me go feral every time I read something about them!!

This time it's from a latin poem "Alcestis Barcinonensis", and as the name suggests it narrates the story of Alcestis. But it also has Admetus and Apollo having a conversation with each other - which I've never seen before in any of the texts, so this poem has stirred my feels (again).

It starts with Admetus calling upon Apollo to answer his questions about his future:

"If I worshipped you ever; if I ever offered you support when you came to me as a terrified servant after the gods' charge against you"

Just...Imagine being Admetus. You worship a god ardently, and that god turns up at your door step as your servant (a terrified servant) and you get to shelter him, accept him. Support him at his lowest. And this god falls in love with you and is serving you in a way that feels like he is worshipping you. ("I am myself godly, and in Admetus, son of Pheres, I found a godly man." - Apollo in Euripides' Alcestis) It is dishonorable for the god but he doesn't care, he is ready to go to any extent to keep you happy.

A commentary on this poem points out how Admetus' addresses Apollo in this way with an intent of binding the god to himself:

I'm kinda loving how this characterises Admetus as being selfish, or at least insensitive with his request to Apollo. Yes he knows Apollo is no longer his slave, but he knows very well he can still bind Apollo to him and he doesn't hesitate to take advantage of it.

Apollo doesn't have to oblige, because he has already served Admetus exceptionally well during his years of servitude. Even afterwards, he has done enough favours for Admetus - helped him get a wife, saved him from Artemis' wrath. But of course, he still comes to do him yet another favour. It's very fitting that their story is used as an example for servitium amoris (slavery of love) by other poets like Ovid and Tibullus. Despite being free, in his heart he's still a slave to Ademtus' love. Maybe that's why Apollo lets himself get easily bound when Admetus requests for it. He probably knows that this is not entirely fair, but he still answers it because perhaps everything he has done so far is still not enough for him (or perhaps yielding to Admetus' requests has become a fond habit of his)

Back to the poem, this is Apollo's answer to Admetus:

"I grieve for you, but I must tell you the truth. Death is pressing upon you."

Apollo says he is already grieving for Admetus. He must have known that for a while huh. For how long has he been mourning Admetus in secret? :')

He not only answers the questions, but also goes beyond by letting Admetus know how to escape death - something Admetus hadn't asked for (but that probably would have been Admetus' next request). It seems like Apollo is just as desperate to save Admetus as Admetus is to save himself, and maybe he was waiting for the day Admetus would selfishly ask this of him.

Admetus has to find someone to die in his place, so that he can live longer. Given how in Ovid's poem Apollo wishes to renounce his godhood so that he could die with Hyacinthus, I don't think it would be a stretch to imagine that if it was possible, Apollo would have given his years (at least some of his years) to Admetus. Instead, Apollo tells him to ask his parents, wife and children. Where both his parents refuse, Alcestis gladly agrees to die in her husband's place.

Alcestis agrees to die, first and foremost because it will bring her glory. She will be praised and remembered for being a pious wife. And she will not have to live the life of a widow. That doesn't make her sacrifice any less noble or selfless at all...

But the thing is, while both Apollo and Alcestis go out of their way to save Admetus, Alcestis' act of saving her husband brings her glory and honor, but Apollo's part in saving Admetus only brings him dishonor and scorn from other gods. But that doesn't stop Apollo from still trying to do something for Admetus, to save him in whatever way possible. In Alcestis, Apollo even tries to save Alcestis by negotiating with Thanatos. All for the sake of Admetus.

Like just how much can a god love a mortal?

[harukapologist]

rambling about Haruka

As an ND person I just hate how Haruka's character is either completely infantilized or reduced to a selfish, evil murderer, when, to me, he is so much more than that.

Especially the latter; I hate when any MILGRAM character is called evil because what's the point of MILGRAM, then? They're all morally grey! That's how they test us. But Haruka in particular because I feel like it comes from a place of ableism, intentional or not.

I'm not sure if I should put TWs, but well I talk about ableism, murder (obviously lol), childhood trauma and well... it's Haruka

Haruka's outburst in the VD and his implication of killing animals (I know it's basically canon but erm... i can explain why I think it's an implication later) (i just finished writing the post and actually i explained why at the bottom of the post but its not a full explanation so lol) are the reasons I see people calling him either evil or childlike, and while I do think that Haruka is stuck in a childlike state in some aspects, this is emotional dysregulation of an ND and/or traumatized person, to me.

The uglier sides of being ND/traumatized, the ones that get heavily stigmatized and seen as intentional or evil; I think this was a display of one of them. And I really wish to see more people focusing on Haruka's disability in the ways it can affect his communication and day-to-day life skills more than "oh, poor baby, he has a disability that makes him feel unwanted" without actually understanding the details of the disability and, well, the reason why it is a disability.

Like, the emotional dysregulation that comes with being autistic, which is my headcanon for him. The hyperempathy and literal thinking that might make him harder to communicate with, and get people frustrated with him more often.

That and being severely neglected; I think neglect is one of the lesser discussed forms of childhood trauma and the fact that Haruka was shown to be neglected as well as abuse really means a lot to me, because I think some people don't quite understand just how much neglect and isolation fucks you up.

All those factors combined are a recipe for an unstable, impulsive, clingy shell of a human, and him getting called evil for that really saddens me. It's important to remember that these MVs are extracted from the prisoners' own memories and thoughts. It comes from their perception of their surroundings, their murders, and their own selves. The manic look that Haruka has on his face for a lot of AKAA, for example. The makeshift shirt he's wearing, as if he's desperately trying to sew himself together into a normal person, the exhausted, frustrated look when he picks up the necklace, it's important to remember that this is how he sees himself. A monster who has lost control of himself. The line "I'll keep killing to be your good boy" was a shock, but the way he meekly apologized to Es at the end of his VD, I really think that shows that he feels guilty, that he wants to convince himself more than anyone that he was a good person, that he was really trying to be one despite how his unlucky life frustrated him to his breaking point.

As for his infantilization, it has already been addressed by many thoughtful members of the fandom and I'm grateful to see that, but I also want to say it myself since god knows I hate being patronized.

It feels very ableist saying he's just "someone stuck in a childlike mindset/age regressor" Yes, and how does age regression as a coping mechanism develop? Usually through prior trauma that makes you "stuck" at said age, and that can present differently. It can be longing and yearning for a simpler time, for an actual happy childhood, or having flashbacks to a traumatic event that happened at a certain age; it is not uncommon for trauma survivors to be "frozen" at the age their trauma took place.

I think both of these are the case for Haruka. Frozen at that moment, but trying to reduce himself to nothing but a little, unaware child to avoid reliving it again, relishing in the innocence and purity of his good younger times (emphasis on purity--Haruka's murder was by strangulation, yet there's a shot in AKAA where he's covered in blood. I know it's after he killed the animals, but he's in the stitched-together outfit here; I think there's more to this MV than just killing the animals. Since this outfit is... not very likely to be worn in reality, did the animal killing happen at all? Even if it did, I think this shot remains an indicator that he sees himself as impure; guilty. I have a LOT to say about the inconsistencies in Haruka's MVs, but I'll save that for later... Anyway, back on topic) It is NOT "having the mental capacity of a child, so being unable to date etc." Haruka has still lived 17 years, maybe even more, since he isn't too interested in remembering his age. How do you treat actual neurodivergent people if this is how you see him?

When I rewatch the MVs, relisten to the VDs, reread the interrogations and timelines, I see no evil, just an incredibly broken, misunderstood person.

[miniiieevee]

HAPPY NATIONAL WADDLE DEE DAY ON WADDLE WEDNESDAY!!!

[raindropren]

!!!!!! Secret Life Episode 9 Spoilers !!!!!!

THIS SEASON IS SO FUCKING GOOD HELL YA

I LOVE THIS

I LOVE SECRET LIFE

IT'S SO GOOD

I'M

SIIJOHFSIHFJSNF

LETS GO, SCAR!! WOO HOO

I GENUINELY LOVE THIS SO MUCH AAA

ALSO WHY IS PEARL SO CRACKED AT THIS GAME!?!?!

So she was i think 3rd in last life, Won in double life, I think 4th or 5th in limited life, and now, 2nd in Secret life!!

What the F u c k

I love it so much

It really helps all my headcanons tbh, it makes me so happy.

Also why does pearl always survive longer then her allies/teammates(Unless they win)

and by always i mean like, 2 times? 2 and a half? if u count tilly maybe? i do... 2.5 :]

I really do wish joel or bdubs won, mostly joel because it would've been so good but I deffo think scar deserved this win.

I think it wouldve been kind of funny if in the 1v1 battle between scar and pearl.. pearl won... and it's just, awkward cause she... didn't want that. at all.

She wanted scar to win after bdubs and joel died, she wanted to sacrifice her life to scar in the end because she wanted her allies to win.

I also think shiny duo is a tragedy in the end. I really hope someone makes a fanfic about them in secret life cause they just, they, they just, <3 <3 <3

I love them alot

I'm making a theory that Gem might, win the next life seires.

Shiny duo winning their second season, please please please /hj /lh

I've already really loved the pearl fanfics from this season cause omg but I just, i just <3 <3 can't wait to see more!! aaa :D

if i get the motivation i fucking will make a fic about gem and pearl coming back into hermitcraft. They have very similar vibes in the life series(they're fucking crazy, don't mess with them, but also you'd rather be on their side then not(I haven't watched gems life series so if i'm wrong on this one, oopsie) cause they are more loyal then most) and I think it'd be fun to see them coming back and talking to eachother about the season ngl.

Murder camel my beloved, shiny duo my beloved

I also think(if I get the motivation) i'd want to make a fic with Pearl and Bdubs, in hermitcraft, afterwards.

ooo so many ideas, so many ideas so little time and motivation.

i wanna know what would happen if pearl accidentally won, despite not wanting too, if she hit scar just alittle to hard and now she was alone, as the sole 2 time winner. I think AU!pearl would have a mental fucking breakdown but i also think it'd be a fun concept aaaa

I want a fic about Pearl just after Bdubs and Joel died, just crying. like tears down her cheeks when she meets back up with scar and aaaa <3

All these would be my au obviously cause i'm way to obsessed with it but my au is set in canon, mostly. or at least alittle, i'm trying LOL

I'm proud of scar :]

like, i'm proud of all the winners but, i really do feel like scar deserved this win

I might watch his pov at some point, i can't wait for people to tear the angst from scars episodes, they already have alittle but with him winning, I can't fucking wait, omg <3

I'm just so excited now

aaaa

i'm nhjgofubkhgfubkjhdfjl eee

I really hope gem and pearl team next season instead of just being temporary allies because they are so fun omg

I really hope there's another season cause god they are so good /nf

I can't get enough of life series pearl in my au

which is why i keep mentioning her, i've basically only watched her pov cause I have a hard time watching others. I wanna watch gem, lizzies(it's ies right? i'm bad with spelling names aa), and now scars. stars above, i love this series

aaaaaaaaaaaaa

secret is probably my new favorite season, idk why, maybe it's because of shiny duo alittle, but y'know :]

There's so much i wish i wanna talk about

like how Pearl said "Always Watching" to BigB

Or just any moment with Pearl and Scott, I miss their last life dynamic alot /pos /notneg

Cleo and Pearls pupper alliance breaking and Pearl saying she really wanted to be allies with Cleo, like I need fics of that so much guys omg (Big MoonRot fan!! ee)

Anytime Gem, Impulse, and Pearl were in a trio together, like omg, It's Soup Group!!! Guys!!! it's them!!! omg!!!!!!!! guys!!

Pearl walking the Warden around like a pro, i love that so much LOL

there's deffo more, but i've typed way to much LOL i just love this so much, it's insane.

[bumblingbabooshka]

My baby's just fine. She knows all of her rhymes. [Patreon | Ko-fi]

[sluckythewizard]

adventures from a rly fun magma i got to relaxe in today

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

one thing I love about iswm is that even though the Captain hardly talks, engineer Mark always seems to understand them

I'd like to think that in the monster captain au, the two of them would still find their own ways of communicating, despite being very different

[reegis]

UDAD POSTER HAS ARRIVED!!!!! got a bit bent in transit </3 but it looks SO COOL !!!! I'm so happy to own a physical print!!!!!

AAAAAAAAA im happy it got there (mostly) in one piece!!!!! hopefully the bend will flatten with time 😭

thank you so much for buying one!!

[aquacomet]

💡 Introducing Lumen!

A FNAF: SB OC with the setting that Lumen is one of the newer animatronics stationed within the daycare, he's tasked with assisting with anything that needs a extra pair of hands there. Most of his more involved tasks are when the lights are out as he acts as a friendly face as the daycare's robotic night light.

⭐ Extra character notes Below! ⭐

💡 Lumen goes by He/Him or They/Them

💡 A literal nightlight (character sheet is his neutral state.)

💡 Official designation is to act as a supporting animatronic within the daycare with a secondary task of occasionally acting as a guest star at Fazer Blast. (But... maybe a secret third thing too.)

💡 His eyes are screens and he uses them to show his expressions:

(His rays can also move and wiggle slightly like how Sun can but the larger rays have more difficulty in retracting because of their angle.)

💡 Has an advanced in-built targeting system (something both him and Drizzle have in common.)

💡 Besides able to create noises and beep boop-like sounds, he does know sign language, morse code and other forms of communication.

💡 He's often curious about things.

💡 On good friend terms with Drizzle, they get together after-hours sometimes to casually show off or practice/calibrate their targeting skills in Fazerblast. (Drizzle and Lumen tag team vs staff bots? Rest in pepperoni staff bots.)