#theres a thought going on here but obv not something im well educated on other than this is v much tumblrs way of trying to maximize profit

[tvmblrsillyman]

just realized the new ui is mobile/tablet friendly first and foremost ):

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Ich glaub ich spinne Carly: wtf Carly: do you want a drink babe? Ali: ze german, baby Ali: i'll say no but get why you're saying yes so early Carly: k more for me Carly: nobodys in a sharing mood today Ali: yeah? Carly: yea Carly: no fun Ali: Leben ist kein Ponyhof Carly: give drew a slap for me k Ali: it would be my pleasure Ali: can i ask how he's pissed on your parade from over here tho Carly: the boy played me Carly: he wanted me to beg for what id just given him the prick Carly: shouldnt have drunk this much this soon my bad Ali: he's a fuckboy Ali: you knew that Ali: my sister on the other hand remains frustratingly oblivious Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: ive been trying to get him to dump her this whole coach ride Ali: I'm not mad at you, babe Ali: no room with how much ugh I have for him Ali: well, hopefully she will him Carly: he thinks shes gonna fuck him in berlin Ali: prick Ali: won't when she finds out Carly: you cant say anything cuz i wasnt meant to Ali: Let himself fuck it up then Ali: he's not being subtle Carly: he cant do subtle Carly: me and him have that in common like Ali: Carly Ali: do you like him? Carly: why Ali: because I think you do Carly: it doesn't matter what you think Carly: he thinks she's girlfriend material & im a slag Carly: hes not wrong either Ali: If you like him, then you should say Ali: regardless, shouldn't let him be a cunt to you, and Ro in the process Ali: who the fuck is he Carly: ha Carly: i dont like anyone baby Carly: I'm just bored Carly: berlins a whole new party Ali: well, good Ali: one less worry Ali: I wish you the perfect holiday fling Carly: aw Carly: youre still the sweetest Carly: sure you dont want a drink while theres some left? Ali: need it now so fuck it Ali: chuck it over Carly: come over Carly: you kno youre the sporty one Carly: i cant be throwing things round the coach Ali: alright, you calling baby spice, I assume? Carly: or scary Carly: depends whos asking Carly: cant be posh tho Ali: yeah you can Ali: she weren't even and you can rock that pout just as well Carly: aw Carly: you should be baby tho youre the cutest Ali: little school all over again, we can't all be baby, lads! 😂 Ali: i'll be ginger, if you wore that iconic dress on your site, you'd get lynched Carly: yea Carly: & if anyone would cause drama by going solo its you Carly: Marlene been knew Ali: Ouch 💔 Ali: but fair Ali: Already thinking about her due to namesake birthplace but you really went there Ali: please tell me I haven't tanked as hard, not got Drew's fragile ego like but 😥 Carly: you kno im just mad youre not thinking about me Carly: dont listen to a word i say Carly: goldies got a fragile heart now too, so sad you broke up w me & stole his bf on top Carly: someone think of the golden god Ali: baby Ali: yeah, that's TOTALLY what the weird vibe is all about Ali: moody twat, soz a threesome is outta the question now Carly: he likes you too Carly: thats a thing Carly: playing like im the one hung up but he is Ali: Nah Ali: that boy don't know what he wants Ali: not down for him using my bestie and sister to find out though, fuck off and soul search like the rest Carly: he wants you Carly: but you got your boy & he shouldnt be trying to mess w Carly: meant to be his boy too Ali: so he reckons but give him 5 minutes before he weren't arsed Ali: don't trust him as far as I can throw him so ain't taking his word on that either like Ali: exactly Ali: 🐍 Carly: id leave him alone if he was happy being w her but i kno he isnt Carly: not letting him lie to me Ali: it doesn't have to be your problem Ali: or your job to make him happy Ali: knew it though Carly: ha Carly: it isn't my problem Carly: & i cant keep a job you kno Carly: couldnt do that one if i was paid like Ali: no one can babe Ali: not to be that hippie cliche about it Ali: but forreal, gotta do that shit himself Carly: its Carly: how he makes me feel sometimes Carly: not happy im not living that lie but Carly: its not nothing & sometimes its good you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i know Ali: but you can have more, if you want Ali: that is possible Ali: you don't have to settle for sometimes good Carly: youre sweet but youre a dreamer babe Carly: ive got nothing going on not in my head & not around me Carly: theres no more than settling down on the site or settling for being off whenever i can Ali: s'not true Carly: yea it is Carly: you dont want it to be but that dont mean its not Carly: me and that boy have more in common than not being subtle like Ali: it ain't Ali: doesn't have to be Ali: nothing is set in stone unless you pour the fucking cement yourself, like Carly: it doesnt have to be doing it but it can still get poured Carly: forget it tho Carly: im drinking on empty & feeling sorry for myself Carly: no fun in that Ali: ain't that fast drying Ali: dust yourself off and run Carly: where to babe Carly: nowhere to go but the coach bathroom Carly: been there done that Ali: well hang on a bit and we'll be in a whole new country, babe Ali: promise is a promise and we can start in Berlin Carly: but 3s a crowd when its not a party Carly: im not trying to mess you & your boy up Carly: cant tell drew off if i do Ali: nah Ali: it ain't like that Ali: not got the blinkers on and knowing each other's passwords and schedules Ali: got trust Carly: yea? Carly: got food too or Carly: cuz im gonna vom if you say no Ali: Yes Ali: Lemme food parcel Carly: if you havent lost the knack Carly: been awhile Ali: 😔 Ali: i'm soz Carly: dont be Carly: you kno i love you Carly: no drama Ali: i love you too Ali: and you would tell me if you needed something wouldn't you Ali: 'cos that ain't changed, i'm still here Ali: unlucky bitch Carly: unlucky for you Carly: shouldnt be on site unless theres something in it for you babe Carly: all i need is to remember breakfast before i get on a sess Carly: & to dilute my spirits sometimes too Ali: there is, you nutter Ali: there you go, who said school trips weren't educational? only on the bus and you're whacking out the wisdom already Carly: not as thick as i look Carly: ms woodfield was thinking it too i reckon Carly: she might kno but im still gonna blame the shit driver if i vom Carly: try and stop me bitch Ali: you look nothing but amazing hush Ali: she's down with the kids, she'll hold your hair back Carly: you hush Carly: trying to make me emotional in front of the front of the coach Ali: it's alright, join Millie Rooney and say you're homesick 😉 Carly: idk whats sadder everyone thinking im crying over an empty caravan or that prick thinking its about him Ali: 😬 i know what i reckon Ali: better dry those tears, babygirl Carly: get his phone for me tho yea Carly: i am mad he gets me & i get nothing back Carly: use the magic Ali: use my mad hacking skillz gotcha Ali: but should I use them for good and accidentally forward some incriminating shit to Ro? 🤔 Ali: this is why we're not meant to play God Carly: do what you must Carly: i trust you Ali: don't worry, sure you're not the only girl he's been chatting too Ali: no offense meant obvs but you know Ali: don't have to drop you in it, as if its your fault but idk, Ro isn't always willing to be entirely rational when it comes to him Carly: idc she never liked me much anyways Carly: better that than dropping some naive random in it Carly: everyones seen me naked if it blows up Carly: old news Carly: & the vid was good too i look hot Ali: hmm, good point on the random Ali: and I don't doubt that you did Ali: I'll have to think on this a bit harder Carly: k Carly: if everyone gets in my inbox ill kno Ali: god Ali: people are gross Carly: can be fun sometimes Carly: cant all be angels like you babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: you know i ain't Carly: i kno you are Carly: too sweet Ali: pot kettle baby Ali: but your secret's safe with me 😘 Carly: ha Carly: its no secret im only sweet to you so youre the only one who needs to kno Ali: 'cos people suck Ali: that's no secret Ali: not gonna waste your time, are you, like Carly: not as good at picking out the deserving ones as you Carly: no secret i fuck up more than i dont Carly: how many bad decisions can i make before berlin tho Ali: nah, you're just too nice for your own good Ali: you know he don't deserve it but people have made the same (wrong) judgment on you so you can't do it back Ali: to anyone Ali: even genuinely shitty people, or people who'd be better off for the nudge of nah Carly: now whos dropping the wisdom Carly: ill just screenshot those few sentences for my ma when she's on at me Carly: im a nice person bitch Ali: 💅☕ though Ali: i'll translate it into spanish for her if she's not getting the memo in plain english Carly: ha Carly: she got well excited cuz she thought berlin had a red light district Carly: thought she was gonna get in my bags Carly: one way to stop me fucking drew in the front row but Ali: pretending i didn't hear that last bit ew Ali: moving on Ali: she wanna get in the windows or like? Carly: she did get the sack so probs Carly: or she thinks itll be like magic mike the german dub idk Ali: oh honey Ali: every nights a hen night Ali: 🙄 Carly: imagine if theyd let mas and das on this trip Carly: i couldnt have come Ali: me either Ali: no one needs that Carly: your ma is so scary Carly: but shed put goldie in his place Carly: probs shouldve brought her Carly: keep me behaving Ali: she literally wants to murder him Ali: need a restraining order and more than mr murray and mr latimer to keep her back Carly: ha Carly: love it Carly: cant she break up the happy couple Carly: my da did me & this beautiful traveller lad that took my v Ali: 💔 Ali: is he married now Ali: if we're doing matchmaking Ali: but in answer, she learnt that forbidding something makes it 1000x more likely to happen and in more secretive, intense ways so Ali: I'm soz Ro, really fucked you over on that one Carly: idk my da literally moved them on Carly: threat of getting the law Carly: k but he still wouldnt be into it Carly: i feel bad for her Ali: ugh Ali: so romeo and juliet, baby you must've been so about it 'til he fucked it up that hard Ali: yeah, i know Ali: i'll figure out something Carly: i was only 12 so i did have the mindset Carly: worth it tho Carly: prettiest boy ive ever seen Ali: swizzle on that, goldilocks Carly: everyone wanted to fuck him Carly: the whole site was feeling the love Carly: fun times Ali: like a beatle was living in your back garden Ali: love that Carly: i peaked Carly: all there is now is a golden god who behaves like a idiot boy Ali: i mean, won't take offense 😒 sat right here and all but no 😉 Ali: there's a whole world of dick out there i promise you Ali: some attached to boys who don't behave like one Carly: ha Carly: you know you're my fave Carly: but youre sat next to him so I cant tell it Ali: 💚 Ali: won't even tell you who i lost my v to Ali: too shaming Carly: now you have to Ali: 😬😫 Ali: okay but then i'm going for a piss so i don't have to feel the pity Carly: baby id never feel sorry for you Carly: w my life come on Ali: you might sympathize though 'cos it was ronan Ali: why he got all weird, probs Ali: eurgh repressed memories flooding back in with the shame 😂 Carly: shit Carly: i told drew all first times are bad but wouldnt wish him on you like that Carly: oh ronan Carly: he better not have treated you like he did me Carly: ill fucking kill him like Ali: aw babe Ali: my hero 💪 Ali: you know what he's like but that shit is long in the past with us so meh Carly: im gonna cry Carly: babe thats sad Carly: & now ms woodfield is staring at me k Ali: don't cry silly Ali: is what it is Carly: im crying and planning murder Ali: you went there too, and other various dickheads, so where's my invite to this party? Carly: but youre perfect Carly: and it was your first time Carly: actual tears in the front row Ali: oh babe Ali: i'm coming over Ali: bog roll in hand Carly: youre too good Carly: im so sad Ali: 😇 that's you Carly: all you tho Ali: nu-uh Ali: you you you Carly: i cant argue cuz im blinded by my tears Ali: not the greatest victory I've ever then Ali: but I'll take it if you smile again Carly: waiting for ms woodfield to tell me i need jesus Carly: ill laugh then Ali: okay, i'll try and lead the convo and her like Ali: we got this, woody Carly: nah if you try and lead her anywhere itll only go one way Carly: teachers pet Ali: 😂 Ali: do you reckon she loves that everyone lowkey drools over her 'cos she's the right side of 40 Ali: or is she desperately job hunting like these fucking kids Carly: i can see in her eyes she loves it Carly: she hates me cuz i dont Carly: facts Ali: not 'cos you never do your work, nah 😏 Carly: & im drunk as fuck rn on her watch Ali: i mean Ali: if YOU were doing your job properly darling Ali: mad you beat her to it, they always get plastered on trips Carly: yea Carly: bet shed take nudes in the bathroom if she had someone to send them to Ali: ooh what teacher could she homewreck Ali: school trip always a perfect place to start an affair Carly: Mr O'Brien could get it if you were old Ali: good shout Ali: getting out my bow as we speak Carly: Mr Cork is alright too but he looks like he'd shower after holding hands Carly: weird Ali: I mean Ali: cleanliness is next to godliness Ali: dirty hoe Carly: ha Carly: you kno it Ali: might be a serial killer Ali: but you wouldn't catch nowt off him Carly: dont have to go home if he murders me Carly: scatter me in berlin lad Ali: 😨😭 noooooo Ali: even if i could go neeson and avenge you Carly: dont go neeson off set tho Carly: your boy wouldnt love the racism Ali: don't wanna be that bitch Ali: problematique Carly: enough bitches on this coach Carly: for once not looking at you ms woodfield Carly: we ever getting there? i thought getting wasted would make me less bored not more Ali: and lowkey racists Ali: all comes out the woodworks when you outed, that gay bashing all afresh like Ali: seriously, why couldn't we go on a plane Carly: & overt racists Carly: that cash tho Carly: how would the teachers afford to get wrecked if they blew the budget Carly: gotta blow each other first Ali: ☕ Ali: dickheads Carly: when goldilocks isnt the biggest twat on the coach tho Carly: idk what to do w that Carly: universe trying to make me like him Ali: give him time Ali: sure he'll reclaim his title 💪 Carly: he'd love a crown Carly: or a medal Carly: get crafting Ali: only if I can get biblical Ali: crown of thorns, you mean barbed wire, okay Carly: ha Carly: im tired come & nap w me Ali: okay boo Ali: as far as pillows go 😏 Carly: serious Carly: i dont wanna sleep on my own Carly: hate it Ali: i remember Ali: coming Ali: promise

[imabookmarkaddict]

trevor is cheesy, markus’ thoughts on hanging and banging

Poor trevor trying to understand anything markus says

puzzlezToday at 3:45 AM

yeh i already have an idea for how markus explains it

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3:46 AM

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i was thinking the series could be something like idfk

WelshenToday at 3:46 AM

Yeah okay good i just didnt wanna put u in a place of trying to describe something supernatural

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3:47 AM

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Markus is good at recognizing patterns too so series of numbers r p easy to notice

puzzlezToday at 3:47 AM

13 7 21 18 12 1 23 17 6 3 22

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3:47 AM

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where it's 3 series of numbers that alternate or smth

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3:47 AM

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they all go up by 5

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3:48 AM

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13 to 18 to 23, 7 to 12 to 17, 21 to 1 to 6

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3:48 AM

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if u can even see it god nowi'm like markus

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3:48 AM

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but he has no idea how to explain it to trevor

WelshenToday at 3:48 AM

Oh god yeah exact

puzzlezToday at 3:48 AM

so he just writes it down and shows it to trevor like see u see the pattern

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3:48 AM

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and trevor is just staring at a string of random numbers

WelshenToday at 3:48 AM

Its like trevor explaining morning runs to markus

puzzlezToday at 3:48 AM

...tf drugs u on

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3:48 AM

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and markus just keeps writing numbers

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3:49 AM

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like do u see the pattern?

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3:49 AM

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here i'll do another one give me a number

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3:49 AM

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and trevor does and markus writes and then says now you do th next one

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3:49 AM

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and trevor blinks down at the numbers

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3:49 AM

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maybe it can get cute

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3:49 AM

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trevor has no idea what markus is doing and decides time to change subject cuz numbers, lol

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3:50 AM

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and maybe the last number in the series markus wrote was a 3

WelshenToday at 3:50 AM

Probably? Time for sex education

puzzlezToday at 3:50 AM

and trevor just adds a < to it

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3:50 AM

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yeh i see the pattern

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3:50 AM

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"<3"

WelshenToday at 3:50 AM

Oh thats cheesy christ

puzzlezToday at 3:50 AM

u asked for it

WelshenToday at 3:50 AM

But markus doesnt use phones he has no clue

puzzlezToday at 3:50 AM

hey maybe markus can call him out on it

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3:50 AM

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oh fuck then it's perfect

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3:50 AM

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maybe trevor is bad at flirting with guys sometimes??

WelshenToday at 3:51 AM

Im sure he has never tried in his life

puzzlezToday at 3:51 AM

like maybe he tried cheesy stuff with girls and it worked so whenever he feels lost and confused he just defaults to a cheesey cute one liner

WelshenToday at 3:51 AM

Just dates idk cheerleaders and other sporty girls

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3:51 AM

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Omh yah perf

puzzlezToday at 3:51 AM

how would markus react tho

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3:52 AM

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would he enjoy it mostly like watching an amusing 5 yo play at dressup

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3:52 AM

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or would he just cringe like wtf drugs r U on

WelshenToday at 3:53 AM

He would just be confused until he understands and then embarrassed to heck

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3:53 AM

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Markus doesnt flirt much either u kno

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3:54 AM

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Its just heres money lets go

puzzlezToday at 3:54 AM

poor thing

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3:54 AM

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if i remember correctly, will was a smooth talker flirter

WelshenToday at 3:54 AM

Squint

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3:54 AM

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If u mean when he said ur beautiful after like 2mins is smooth

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3:54 AM

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Yeah

puzzlezToday at 3:55 AM

so yeah maybe trevor can be bad as heck at flirting until he feels awkward and spits out those one-liner balls of cheese in a rush of panic

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3:55 AM

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well i'm p sure will thought he was a smooth talker

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3:55 AM

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ppl probs too polite to point out he ain't

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3:55 AM

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but yeh thought it might give markus some variation?

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3:56 AM

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unless u prefer trevor to be good at flirting

WelshenToday at 3:57 AM

No trevor can be bad but markus is equally bad

puzzlezToday at 3:57 AM

perrrrrrrfect

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3:57 AM

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i picture trevor kinda secretly watching markus for cues sometimes on what to do??

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3:57 AM

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i mean porn shows u terrible, fake, unrealistic sex

WelshenToday at 3:57 AM

And markus is normally not very perceptive

puzzlezToday at 3:57 AM

at best u learn how to bend your hips back forward in impossible yoga/sex moves

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3:58 AM

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and since he tried those and learned nothing trevor knows nada about actual relationships with dudes

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3:58 AM

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so i had a feeling he was going to sort of quietly watch markus for leads on what to do

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3:58 AM

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so markus being bad at teaching + panicked trevor + cheesy pickup line + markus confused + markus not able to flirt back = a terrible awkward but adorable couple of doofuses

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3:58 AM

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and this i can absolutely work with

WelshenToday at 3:59 AM

Markus can do it technically but not very enthusiastically?? If that makes sense

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3:59 AM

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He gets better but u kno

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3:59 AM

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Yes i hope that works

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3:59 AM

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Theyre both idiots

puzzlezToday at 3:59 AM

i think that makes sense

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4:00 AM

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maybe squint

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4:00 AM

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do you mean he like technically knows how/can think of something flirty to say but has no oomph behind it? like no drive to actually look/sound flirty?? or smth else?

WelshenToday at 4:02 AM

Yes pretty much

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4:03 AM

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I mean hes heard it all obv but that was more or less when he got paid so it sounds fake to him i guess(edited)

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4:04 AM

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So he can repeat it but i doubt he knows how to mean it? Or that he could stick to things he ACTUALLY means (but hed be too awk to say)

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4:04 AM

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And that goes for all relationship hijinks

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4:05 AM

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Jo was a weird mix of paid and cute stalker?? They didnt flirt so much as get along

puzzlezToday at 4:06 AM

yeahh okay

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4:06 AM

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it makes sense tho

WelshenToday at 4:07 AM

Hey hes a mess

puzzlezToday at 4:07 AM

i made a char who was a prostitute and if deffo made him bad at relationships for similar reasons

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4:07 AM

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(my ghost waja actually)

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4:07 AM

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(prostitute ghost waja)

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4:07 AM

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(v wajas appropriate)

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4:07 AM

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so then does markus actually uhh like idk enjoy sex?

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4:08 AM

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if he's done all kinds of stuff from vanilla to crazy-whatever-clients want stuff i'm assuming he's tried/seen most if not all flavors of sex?

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4:08 AM

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so would it be 100% a chore to get through sex or would he still enjoy it in relationships?

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4:09 AM

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i wasn't sure how to write the sorta kinda sex scene with trevor for this reason squint

WelshenToday at 4:10 AM

Im pretty sure hes asexual but not aromantic, he definitely thinks its a chore but if its with someone he has a romantic interest in its a fun chore?(edited)

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4:10 AM

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And at this stage its the only way he knows how to connect with people well guys anyway

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4:12 AM

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Adam fits him better cuz hes got low interest in sex and markus prefers making out and cuddling?

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4:12 AM

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Thats like 10years later when markus has gotten some idea of what he prefers tho

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4:12 AM

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Does that even make sense

puzzlezToday at 4:13 AM

yeah

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4:13 AM

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like i said my one oc was a prostitute and he's of a similar uh... mind? i guess is the word?

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4:13 AM

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in that regard

WelshenToday at 4:13 AM

Yeah

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4:14 AM

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Im sure theres plenty of types of people, but these ones just do it as any other job?

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4:14 AM

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I think markus referred to it as not much difference to idk toilet janitor, he even prefers this cuz he can lay down and nap lol

puzzlezToday at 4:15 AM

omfgggg

WelshenToday at 4:16 AM

Probably napped while working to be honest

puzzlezToday at 4:16 AM

yeh my char did it purely for money and he's impatient af but decent at acting so an extent to he pretended to enjoy company of his clients for the money but secretly hated most of them and the kinkier ones ruined sex for him in a way? like it's just "pretend and act out these ridiculous things" so he doesn't really enjoy sex, figures it's a chore, just gotta see it through to the end, and that mindset continues with him for a while(edited)

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4:16 AM

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but i can see markus napping

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4:17 AM

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lazy bones boy

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4:17 AM

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so i'm guessing markus wouldn't really initiate sex then

WelshenToday at 4:18 AM

He would if trevor made him uncomfortable enough

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4:18 AM

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Cuz at lesst he knows how to do THAT

puzzlezToday at 4:19 AM

yeah okay that makes sense

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4:19 AM

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poor kid tho rofl

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4:20 AM

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so i'm assuming trevor is bad as gay sex in general because never tried before but

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4:20 AM

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would he be the type to be eager to learn, like want to please markus in bed, or would he be a more impatient/selfish lover, like i wanna race to the end and if we figure out how to please you along the way, then good perf

WelshenToday at 4:22 AM

Probably the first

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4:22 AM

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If it was the second one markus would start to feel cheated out of money

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4:23 AM

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Well i mean its not easy to do but by that i mean even if trevor is done theyd still make out enough for markus to get over it

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4:23 AM

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Squint

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4:23 AM

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This is very difficult

puzzlezToday at 4:24 AM

omg snort

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4:24 AM

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i think i get what you mean tho

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4:24 AM

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markus gets "paid" in uh... affection/devotion?idk if that's the right word but

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4:24 AM

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trevor focusing on some kind of need of markus would be like "payment" in a convoluted sense for the sex?(edited)

WelshenToday at 4:25 AM

Yes

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4:25 AM

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Pretty much exactly

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4:26 AM

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Well markus hasnt had a currency free relationship yet

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4:27 AM

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Thinks every bit of affection is to be paid or payment for smth

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4:27 AM

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This is babys first real bf tbh(edited)

puzzlezToday at 4:29 AM

trevor?

WelshenToday at 4:30 AM

Markus

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4:30 AM

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Well trevors too

puzzlezToday at 4:30 AM

okay yeh i thought you meant markus/trevor

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4:30 AM

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making sure

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4:30 AM

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first real bfs with each other

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4:31 AM

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sad the relationship goes up in such flames

WelshenToday at 4:31 AM

Yes well

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4:31 AM

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It was really neithers fault

puzzlezToday at 4:32 AM

and yet the flames buuuurn

WelshenToday at 4:32 AM

But markus is the one on his own after

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4:32 AM

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Unless u count spencer

puzzlezToday at 4:32 AM

do u count spencer

WelshenToday at 4:32 AM

As a minus i do