#these items are just stuff i've needed for a bit but haven't been able to get for myself

[autisticlenaluthor]

this feels gross. butttt, i made an amazon wishlist

for context, im chronically ill and disabled, and having a hard time paying for things on my own.

there are 3 things i need right now that I can't afford to buy myself. a 3 tier cart so I can organize my feeding tube supplies/medical stuff as right now they're taking over my room, NG tube de-cloggers, and a basket that can attach to my IV pole bc I'm hooked up to it basically all day and can't really hold things when I'm moving it around

if you'd like to help, the list is linked here :

but please don't feel any pressure to buy anything if you can't afford it!! these are things that would make my life easier but they aren't things I can't live without.

if you're able to buy something from the list, thank you so so much!! if not, reshares and reblogs are also super helpful <3

[simdertalia]

a little update

If anyone has noticed that I haven't posted as many huge sets this month, there has been some things going on at home.

This past week I have been taking care of my partner. They are having a bit of an emergency issue that came up and have a procedure at the hospital. Since they are feeling quite bad, I am needed to be attentive and need to go out and get things, I am not able to work on CC items the entire day like usual. I've been at their side, making food, laundering some items, and cleaning up, just making sure they have everything they need. I will be back to the usual when they are feeling better, hopefully in a few days from now. Like usual I have tons of stuff in my WIP folder.

Any well-wishes and good vibes are certainly welcome, I've been a worried nervous wreck 💗💗💗 And I hope all of you are healthy and well.

----------Update September 10th-------------

This is unfortunately, & worryingly, taking much longer than "a few days". My partner has been through all kinds of uncomfortable tests, a hospital procedure, and we are now waiting to see a different specialist (I'm trying not to write too much so as to respect their privacy).

It has also started affecting me as I myself have chronic pain and illness that worsens with stress. But I am still doing the best I can to take care of them (while also trying to work from home and also work on CC), and when I've been feeling bad they take care of me too.

I hope you all are doing well, and are healthy! 💗💗💗

[ghostlyshellofapuppet]

141 x crafty gn reader

Ok it's only August but I've started thinking about what I'm going to make my family for Christmas to start early, and this fic mentions nothing about Christmas. Also I'm newer to writing so if you notice something weird or not good please leave something in the comments to help me get better

Price

• Doesn't know anything about crafts except how to make those ships in bottles, wood working and glueing things together. Can't even imagine being able to make the things you do, seeing the process and the finished results, Price wouldn't be able to finish it or think of that in the first place.

• Is very proud of you once he sees you finish something, still doesn't know how you do it, but very proud. Any paintings, knitted items, clay objects, wood burning pieces, anything you make he is complimenting. You put so much time, energy and thought into that and you made it, good job.

• If you need help with anything Price will try, he's not the most crafty person but he has very steady hands. But if you happen to need help with something wood, he's got you, it's in good hands. Price has been woodworking since high school and it's never left him since he used to make small things on missions when he had nothing else to do

• I feel like if he had to pick another craft to pick, he'd be decently good or pottery, give him a little bit to find what pressure to use when shaping but will eventually make a mug for you

Ghost

• As much as I want to say he's into crafts, I can't see it that well. Yes he can sew but anything other than that and it's kind of a mess, but he likes watching you work and your processes. Watching you being so focused on something you didn't even hear him walking into the room with a drink and food for you since you've been at this for hours, and he loves that you can just relax like this, ( if you have been on the edge of giving up on it), but please take a break, you haven't blinked in two minutes.

• Ghost will take you to craft stores and just wander around with you, he likes messing with those posable hand models. He will also happily buy you whatever you want/need, more wire, a cake decorating set or also long as you don't burn yourself a wood burning kit

•If you tend to have most of your best ideas at night he tries to stay up with you so you don't stay up too late, but he can be distracted if you try to make him help. If not he's checking the clock every five minutes trying to decide when would be a good time to stop you

Gaz

•Likes pottery but doesn't do it often, he doesn't have a place too. His mother has a pottery studio he can use if he's but most times he's on base or out on missions. He can do some designs on the pottery and has an eye for details but isn't great with a paint brush.

• Also likes seeing you make stuff, Gaz used to watch his mom make new mugs and plates for the kitchen and would sit with his grandma listening to her stories. He finds it relaxing.

• Would help you with anything, Gaz can do a good amount of small craft just from stuff he's picked up over the years. He can sew, build and design very well and would love doing projects with you. You want to build a new coffee table, he's already getting ready to go to the hardware store.

• Gets excited towards the end of projects, seeing everything come together after working on it is very satisfying for him, especially if it's something you or can use. Build a table, he can't wait to set his drink on it.

Soap

• Is very happy when he sees your crafts and will want to show you his drawing if your interested. You also paint/draw, he wants you and him to draw each other and trade them at the end.

• Probably ok at other crafts but still tries. Don't let him around hot glue or resin, he doesn't mean to make a mess but he does, resin is on the floor and he likes playing in the cooled down but still moldable hot glue.

• He's likes watching you make stuff if he's tired but would like to help if you're okay with it when he's more awake. If you want to do crafts without his help he's also good with just drawing in his book, probably drawing you.

• Will cheer with you when you finish a project, if you've been working on it for a really long time it calls for take out, a movie and possibly more art supplies.

If you made it down here thank you for reading and I hope you liked it

[madschiavelique]

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ . ★ . ჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

<< Click here if you want to go back to chapter 1

Choice A : Decline and go straight to your flat.

content warnings : none word count : 1,9k masterlist of the fic : here.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ . ★ . ჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

You don't want to miss the arrival of the deliverymen, hoping that at this hour you can still catch them and get their help.

"That's kind of you, but I've got to try and catch my delivery men on the fly."

"Consumer?" he asks, raising an eyebrow as if reconsidering the whole pseudo-friendship you'd created from the beginning of this tour.

"Receiver," you corrected, "I receive my flat's stuff."

He nodded, reassured, his anti-capitalism thoughts comforted by the news.

"I’ve got to go repeat with Gwen anyway, have you got a pen?" he questioned, the query catching you off guard, "with paper."

"Yes," you affirm, rummaging through your bag, pulling out a pen and with this your agenda. "The pen is called come back."

"Come back? Do you give names to all your things?"

"They all have the same name, come back. But especially my pens," you say as he gives a little laugh.

"Here," he says as he grabs both of them, uncapping the pen with his teeth before quickly writing numbers on your planner's first page. "Here's my number," he handed you your diary, "and here's come back." he said as he handed you your pen. "If you ever need any information or have any problems, just give me a call. All right?"

"Alright," you as you pack your things into your bag. "Is it weird that I didn't expect you to have a phone?"

After all, as anti-system and anti-consumer as he was, the thought of him having a phone seemed almost unlikely.

"No, but I had to have one just to keep in touch." He pulls out of his pocket what looks like a relic of technology, an antiquity not so very distant in our era: a Nokia 3310.

Your eyes remain fixed on it for a few moments before you pull yourself together: there's no time to lose, you've got to see your delivery men.

"Thanks for..." you're not going to list every item you want to thank him for, so you simply finish your sentence with "everything"

He nods as you start to leave, giving you a two-fingered salute.

You pass a street, trying to take note of the shop signs. There's a small mini-market on the next street you turn down. It seems to have a bit of everything, food, crafts, even candles.

You pass another street, a little longer, before taking a turn and arriving in a narrower one where most of the buildings are residential.

Hey... that's the delivery van leaving! You're almost tempted to run, but it's already too far for you. You let out an exasperated sigh, your bottom lip bitten by your annoyed teeth.

The good thing is that, even if you haven't been able to collect all your stuff, the concierge is in charge of collecting it if you're away for the delivery. You arrive at the door of your new building, looking at it again. It's obviously not your first time here, but you can't help thinking that this is going to be your home.

You enter the hall with your building badge, and come face to face with two people. One of them looks familiar: the concierge, a kindly, gentle old man who's been keeping up the good neighbourly business since he took over the building. And the second...

The first thing you notice is that he's tall, very tall to the point where you’d have to raise your head to speak with him. His body is massive, and the way his shirt is tight on his back but a bit more loose around his waist has your complete attention. He's brown-haired, wearing a black shirt and dark jeans. His back is turned to you as the little caretaker's eyes sparkle at the sight of you.

"Ah, [Name] there you are. I tried to hold back the delivery boys because I didn't know if you'd arrive at the same time as them, but I didn't manage it," he says with a little shrug.

"That's all right," you assert as you approach the pair.

The man who has his back facing you turns around, and you are overwhelmed by the beauty of his face. You didn't think that such a perfect body would go with such a flawless figure, but right now you're happier than ever to be wrong. If every time you were mistaken such miraculous results occurred, then being wrong would inevitably become your favourite occupation.

The way his eyes through his long dark lashes find yours in a sort of surprised new interest found in your presence makes you forget how to breathe for a long second. You approach them, the feeling of his gaze travelling your body tingles your skin.

"This is Miguel O'Hara.” introduces your concierge. “He's your next-door neighbour."

Wonderful day, thank you for having graced me with the presence of this god among men whom I have been given to have as a neighbour, you think to yourself.

Miguel turns to you, holding out his hand and flashing a polite smile.

"Nice to meet you, [Name] is it ?” he says, as if to make sure he pronounces it properly.

"That's right, nice to meet you too," you smile, taking his huge hand and shaking it softly.

The warm skin of his palm meets yours, his grip is soft and you wonder how hard it must be for him to lower his strength and not crush your hand in his.

You had held a bird once in your hands as it had been slightly wounded on its wing, and you remember how caressing its head with just your thumb felt like a single stronger pressure could hurt it. It was round and its skull felt as thin as an eggshell.

Does Miguel ever feel like this ? Like whatever he holds might break ?

You don't know what's more disconcerting, the feel of his hand against yours, or the sound your name had in his mouth.

Is it wrong that you want to hear him call your name again ?

Your eyes linger on his features. His hair that he must’ve combed with his fingers beforehand, his salient cheekbones, his straight jaw, his full lips...

"The boxes are right here," says the concierge as you conclude your handshake.

The concierge’s words feel like a needle popping a bubble, this sharp and sparkly come back to reality prickling in your mind as you remove your hand from Miguel’s.

A glance at your stuff pointed by the caretaker is enough to make you sigh heavily. The idea of a box or a single cube is enough to currently make you tired, so much so that even the idea that you're about to lift Minecraft cubes can't comfort you.

"Thank you very much," you greet him as he waves goodbye to both you and Miguel one last time before heading off.

You inhale, then relax your shoulders as you exhale before stooping down to pick up two boxes that are stacked together. You've got six boxes in all, some heavier than others, but the weight isn't what worries you most. What bothers you slightly is that you're going to have to do it three times to bring everything up.

"Do you need any help?" asks Miguel

You turn to him, his gaze impassive as he points to the remaining boxes. With his build, all your problems of moving around would be immediately solved.

"It would be really nice, if it's not too much trouble," you reply simply, your hands already hurting from lifting the two boxes.

"Not at all," he says with a smile as he picks up the four remaining boxes and lifts them, two boxes per arm.

It's amazing how easy he makes lifting them look, when only two in your arms are killing you. You can’t help but notice how the fabric of his shirt tightens over his muscles as the contract, and you silently swallow your saliva at the view.

You both start to climb the stairs, every step feeling like the pressure in your fingers from holding the boxes deepens and raises in your arms. Miguel seems hesitant to engage in conversation, and to be honest so are you.

It’s not so much because you lack of conversation, but it feels like his presence itself squeezes your throat, such that you’re worried if you try to speak words they'd come out bitten into pieces.

"So, you’re a big reader?" he eventually asks, breaking the silence that seems to tingle the air as you make your way up the stairs.

"A bit,” you breath, “although let's just say it's not fiction," you end up replying, climbing the stairs in front of him one by one.

"Oh really? What kind of books are they?" he questions, his voice steady.

"Scientific books," the pain in your fingers feels like the boxes are becoming heavier by the second. "I know, sounds very exciting," you joke.

The number of times some of your friends look at you like you're an alien as you rant on about the latest in the world of science is countless.

"What kind of science?" Miguel doesn't seem to act like them on the subject though, and is actually rather curious about it.

"Bioengineering," you reply as you arrive on your shared doorstep, lifting your knee to support the boxes as you grab your keys and open the door.

As you step inside, the emptiness of the flat feels strange. The entrance leads into your corridor. You pass your bedroom door on the left, then the bathroom, and finally you get to the living room which is linked to the kitchen.

You put the boxes on the floor of it and Miguel follows your movements. You look at your fingers, the linear trace of the weight of the boxes visible.

"I love the decor," he quips, which makes you laugh softly.

"I paid a fortune for the interior decorator," you say as you turn to him, your lip stretching into a smile.

His eyes are soft, and you catch yourself looking into them more than you should.

"I don't know how to thank you enough for this."

"No te preocupes," he assures you, staring at the emptiness playing as the only item of furniture in your apartment. "When do you expect to receive the rest of your furnishings?"

“I've got a big delivery in a month's time. Bookshelf, chests of drawers, bedsprings, all my dearest dreams," you tell him.

He nods, taking his phone out of his pocket and tapping on it. It’s almost ridiculous how even his phone looks small between his fingers. He hand it to you.

"When the delivery arrives, let me know. I'll come and help you."

Slightly surprised – as pleasantly as possible – you gently take the phone, your fingers brushing against his again before you fill in your contact. You hand it to him, and it only takes a few seconds before you receive a simple message : "pretty decor," which makes you smile.

His phone then vibrates, his expression changing from amusement to exasperation without much transition.

"I've got to go," he admits.

You would’ve liked to continue this conversation, you wanted to know more about it, just maybe not in the neighbourly way.

You walk back to your front door, him brushing against you as you hold the door.

"It was nice to meet you, [Name]" he greets you, pronouncing your name one last time with a little smile, stepping back towards his door.

"Likewise, Miguel," you smile as you close yours.

The door shuts and you stand still behind it for a moment.

You could only think of one thing: the way your name sounded between his lips.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ . ★ . ჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Common end >>

[iantimony]

it's tuesday!

last weekend someone taught me how to catch crayfish when wading and this weekend i successfully grabbed one!! proof at the end of the post.

listening: guess (charli xcx, billie eilish): old roommate put this on for me and helloooooo. it's so. yeah. (link is the official music video, warning for flashing) it led me to this playlist cunty trashy slutty skanky which, first of all, excellent playlist name; second of all, what a fucking combination of songs?? something about the juxtaposition of nirvana -> kesha -> korn, etc is. insane in a good way.

last week was bandcamp friday! i last-minute got a few things: finally got sammy rae's "good life" and "let's throw a party", and preordered their newest album "something for everybody". i still need to buy my ticket for their concert near to me this fall. then i got sad snack's full discography for like $5 (the no children ska cover lol), the altogether's "when we were kids" which has been a go-to comfort album for me for a bit, shakey graves "deadstock" anthology, and finally the dear hunter "antimai".

i've been back on the podcast grind, just casually keeping up with stuff like mbmbam sawbones lpotl etc as they come out. most recent mbmbam (episode....730?? jesus christ) has some REALLY funny bits, notably towards the beginning where the cincinnati tornado sirens were being tested and griffin made a comment about the air raid sirens going off again and travis was like ?? dude i'm not in the fucking blitz??? it was very good. there was something else towards the end of the episode that also made me laugh out loud -- oh yes i just went and relistened to the last minute and it's the wish at the end, "i wish my cat would know what it means when i flip him off". so fucking true griffin. i was considering going to one of their tour dates but unfortunately they will be in the nearest city to me when i'm out of town for my second wedding of the fall. ah well

reading: most fallow. lots of little articles for my research.

watching: shane dawson and the art of the constant rebrand - jimmy robins: little retrospective about a guy who i never really liked and haven't thought about in years. i guess he's still around ??? okay. not gonna embed it so you don't get jumpscared by his face.

playing: this is a partial share with watching but last weekend my old roommate and i hung out with one of our friends with the intention of having dinner and crafting. however. we were so tired from kayaking earlier that day that we just ended up watching friend play stray and not crafting at all. it's really cute! i did get Very emotional at the beginning when the cat fell! i was like no!!!

my friend mostly played it but i did do a little bit, it was lots of fun. there was a very funny bit where friend, getting really in the mindset of Being Cat, pulled out a battery pack from a fan and was like "hehe i'm gonna drop it off the roof!" and did it before we could stop her, we were like wait we might need that to solve a puzzle -- but the answer was no it was fine, which is good, because it ended up dropped on a completely inaccessible rooftop ledge below, oopsie.

making: !!! ALL REDACTED !!! i will be able to post some of it next week. i do not know if beloved mutual celestialtourguide reads these regularly but just to be safe. allegedly the glaze kiln WILL be done by wednesday so i will finally know how fucked my guys are. if they're very fucked it'll be like. well, okay, i guess my gift is just money now,

other redacted item is embroidery related!

eating: mostly leftovers from last week, i think im gonna make crisped chickpeas with herbs and garlic yogurt from deb smittenkitchen to use up a zucchini that i have languishing in the fridge. it'll be a nice light lunch.

misc: THE PRELIMINARY EXAM DOCUMENT EXISTS. rejoice. however this comes with the caveat that i don't have a date set yet because i am in the trenches of trying to solve a Very specific problem with my software. the solution is a complete unknown to me as of now. it is in the stage of "putting key words in quotation marks in google scholar and going down the list emailing all the authors like heyyyy help please", which is scary. at least one other person has done something semi-similar - in fact they have my advisor in their acknowledgements thanking them for her editing help lol - so i'm hoping i'm nearly there. because once that is resolved i can FINALLY set a date, which, assuming i pass, also sets the earliest point at which i can give my thesis defense! scary!!

anyway. crayfish proof. it looks like im squishing him way worse than i actually was, he got released and swam away safely do not worry

[doniaqueta]

Hello, knitters and crocheters of Tumblr

I come to you with an app idea, not to start any sort of crowdfunding, I don't want to start the next Tumblr scam. This is just something I want to do (actually, already started to do because I have bad impulse control) and I want to see if anyone else would be interested in using it. Again, I am asking for $0.00 MXN (that's $0.00 USD), and it would be a free app, no ads, maybe I'll slap a link to my Ko-Fi in it but that's it.

I am not doing this for profit, I'm doing it because it'll be useful for me, because the idea goblin in my head in insatiable, and my hubris is immeasurable.

Details under the cut, and I'll be adding updates as I go at the end of the post

The idea is:

An app to help you keep track of current knitting and crocheting projects, projects (aka patterns) you want to get to, and materials you need for all that stuff.

The WIP section would have tabs for each project you started, because if you're like me, it won't be just one. Each tab would include:

A row counter

Information on the pattern, like its name, some notes, the section you're currently working on (for patterns with different sections where the row count is reset)

A timer for the time you've been working on that project, because you deserve fair pay if you sell your craft so you have to know how long you've worked on it

The patterns section would have, well, patterns. For at least version 1.0, I'm thinking a list of PDFs that are stored in your phone and open in your phone's PDF viewer.

Finally, the materials section would just be a good old fashioned shopping list. You input items manually, you check 'em as you get 'em.

---------------------------------------------

Update 29/01

I've finished the mockups and the design of the icons I'll be using in the app. I'm going to start moving into coding territory.

Update 06/02

I've started the development and it's going pretty well. I opted for React Native, and while I have experience with React, I was a bit daunted by the idea of going into React Native. But! It's been smooth sailing so far. I've got a sturdy project structure, a functional menu, and an almost functional shopping list.

Update 19/02

I missed last week's update because I was very sick. For most of the first week, after finishing the shopping list, I worked on code organization and documentation. Now that I was sure that I was going to use React Native, I wanted to make sure the project is organized and sturdy. After that, I've been working on the pattern list, which has been a bit of a pain because I want to respect the user's privacy and security and not access the entire filesystem if I don't need to.

Update 27/02

I got frustrated with my troubles with the filesystem, so like any good procrastinator, I put that part aside and started working on other stuff. Apart from tinkering with the style and some background work to improve performance, I've also added support for different languages (currently just English and Spanish because those are the ones I feel confident I won't fuck up the translations, but I'm thinking of later asking for help with more languages), and I've started working on the WIP section.

Update 08/03

I haven't been able to work on it a lot this week because I had a lot of work to do for my actual job (I had to do my job at my job, shocking, I know), but last week I finished building the first functional version of the WIP section. As it is, it's only for one project, but it should be relatively easy to add tabs for multiple projects. I also had the chance to do something like a demo with a potential user, which is just a fancy way of saying I showed what I've done so far to my cousin (a great knitter & crocheter) and she really liked it :D

Update 12/04

Gap in updates because I was a bit overwhelmed by my job so I gave myself a lil vacation on this project. This week I got back to work and now the WIP screen officially supports multiple projects in different tabs. This means the WIP screen is done! Which means I will soon have no choice but to stop procrastinating the pattern list and face my filesystem problems oh no.

---------------------------------------------

The poll has ended but I'm leaving the results up:

[iciatheguardess]

psst. nows your chance to elsie rant about the current events if you want to

Rant? Hmmm... I dunno where to start

(Btw, all of this is /silly and not meant to offend anyone at all)

I'm so fucking glad they're almost done with this shit, because shit is happening to EVERYONE. I can't believe how calm the 2nd floors been so far and I'm thankful for it- and I'm glad there was rubble blocking the way because they all need more items and checkpoints before getting to her. Also the angst, JESUS CHRIST THE ANGST. If you haven't seen my separate post about Icia sleeping (I'll find it if you want or you can hunt for it yourself) and seeing her friends back in tbdk then you know damn well there's something SEVERELY wrong happening with Icia and if ANY serious shit happens then HOOOOOOO boy God bless everyone's souls because that will NOT be fun. It's not even just her though- like. Spoilers. POOR FUCKING VERIE AND ARTHUR, LIKE JESUS CHRIST THEYRE EACH OTHER'S LOST FIANCE AND SHE DOESNT EVEN FULLY KNOW IT AND HES JUST WAITING SADLY WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IF SHES EVER GONNA REMEMBER. I'm really proud of Clara though, especially with being able to put her mask back on for the play. Lance and Raina are freaking me out a little. I know we've seen a bit of Lance and fighting really isn't his style but I've said this before and I'll say it again, seeing one of them for a long time and not the other FUCKING SCARES ME. And also, please someone get Stitch some therapy, that guy is basically going rabid with some of the stuff he's doing to himself and others, he is NOT mentally suited for this, no offense.

THATS NOT EVEN ALL. The dungeon party for me has been nothing but a whole lotta "WHAT????" Bc FIRST everyone falls asleep and gives into the trap just like that and Elsie and I are screaming into pillows for that to not happen- THEN BOB SHOWS UP WITH LEAFY AND MAGE I THINK? Idek if he's still there now but oh my god I can NOT wrap my head around this. ALSO IF I SEE KOPI AND KUMO AND THAT DAMN MEME ONE MORE TIME- well I guess I can't be mad bc they're each others support rn and that's really what everyone needs in this hell forsaken place at the moment. Someone also needs to really, really give Dusk a hug. I think she should make a rage room accessible to everyone in the circus, everyone needs that place.

Other than that I'm loving how creative the rooms and bosses are. I'm really hoping we see more Aoki bc he's so sweet and cute and someone get that man a gf right now, bring some happiness into his life. I'm also loving how creative I can be with the very, very long asks I'm writing for each room. I'm loving slipping bits of lore into Icias character. Yall don't know what I got planned or what Imma do if I get the chance. What I DONT love is how FAST MY FUCKING APPETITE DISAPPEARS THE GODDAMN MOMENT I SEE HER IN ANY ASK. Or if I see anything that has to do with Northeast, Raina and Lance, Stitch, etc. It's not fun being abt to eat a delicious bowl of cheesy spicy potatoes and seeing a notif and suddenly my appetite is like "HAHAHAHA ADIOS" because I get so anxious and excited that sometimes it literally makes me nauseous.

That's all I can remember rn. So far, 9/10, having lots of fun, have definitely cried a few times.

[princescribbler]

do you have any resources for things for a caregiver to ask a new playmate? I started playing with a lb recently, we've only met twice but both times we jumped into it so quickly, and I feel a little lost and out of my depth. Always before I'd played with partners that I knew inside and out before we ever played together, but this lb is just as new to me as a person as he is my little. he's also more experienced in the scene than me and it all is leading to me feeling a bit like a failure tbh. your posts are so well thought out, I've been lurking your blog for an hour or so now, so I also wanted to say how much I appreciate all the thought and hard work you put out there for us. you have a really great resource here.

First: you are not a failure at all. You're new to this particular person and dynamic, which is different. You're new to this person, this dynamic experience, their expectations and style... it's impossible for you to know any better what to do and you haven't been getting any instruction! Give yourself a break and be gentle about this. The feeling of failure comes from not meeting expectations, but often the expectations are your own and not even your partner's, ok? So be gentle with yourself, and congratulate yourself on doing the right things and trying to learn and read on this stuff!!

Second; I'm so flattered you think so highly of me and thank you! You might not know this, but my old blog (sciencescribbler) had a lot of the kind of posts You're looking for... but it was deleted by tumblr and I don't know where to get that old resource. But I can happily help and offer my thoughts and advice?

Personally, I suggest you try to not jump into this quite that fast until you have a better idea of what you AND he are wanting. Some really basic stuff you'd do in any dynamic with a degree of power exchange and D/s dynamics is set the expectations.

The best way to do that is ask, talk, and share. Below are some good basic questions to start this off that might be useful. Keep in mind that you will need to answer your own questions back, and have a full dialogue.

What is your "little" range? Do you see yourself as a little, a regressor, a submissive, a slave, a baby boy or baby girl? Is this associated with a specific age range or role or is it more fluid?

Is this roleplay to you, or a true part of your identity and needs as an adult?

How often do you want this dynamic and to what degree? For example: do you want mommy to make some rules for you to follow every day like a bedtime, diapering routine, rule system, etc? Or is it more about the titles, and the idea of the thing than the daily structure?

Speaking of titles: what is yours and your partners in all this? Mommy? Mommy domme? Mistress? Girlfriend? Is this a poly thing, monogamous, aaaand is it built focused on the kink dynamics or the vanilla friendship at its core?

What are your kinks, fetishes, and interests in this dynamic?

What are your "limits", hard and soft, and can you explain why those are your limits?

What are your desires from me as a mommy, a partner, or an owner? Is this expected to be full time, the core of our interactions? Or is this a fun thing we do to get off on the bedroom? Neither is wrong but it can't be a huge mismatch between you two, or you'll both end up feeling unfulfilled.

What are your favorite little activities?

What are ways you love to be reminded you're my little one? How can you show ME as the dominant your submission and obedience?

Do you have little items, like favorite stuffies or blankets or things you watch or do? If so, tell me about them! By connecting with your little one's interests and specific littlespace items you might find the role easier yourself?

What makes you FEEL subby, or little? What are things to avoid that maybe break your headspace?

My final, likely best advice: you feel unsure and like a failure often because you're not able to provide what someone wants. Often, the very gentle mommy domme and daddy dom community are filled with people who are filled up by serving someone else's needs and guiding them... but that also means they're often needing that validation and success to feel like they're a good caregiver or dominant. But you're not failing: you don't have the core, basic, fundamental information to get started with. Until you know their kinks, limits, expectations, set your own rules and standards, and agree to how you're both going to interact, you CAN'T succeed because you don't yet know what success even looks like.

And don't, ever, EVER let anyone make you feel like a failure for their jumping into things without giving you the basics you need. I'd strongly recommend you have a nice calm, blame free chat about what you both like and want, and see if that can help!

And the other secret advice I give every Dominant??? Confidence is key: you're taking the role of dominant, controlling your Partner and your interactions. You don't necessarily have to FEEL confident... but you're setting the rules. Take confidence in your own ability, and if you fake it to start, it will eventually become real confidence! After all, success and repetition breed confidence.

As for basic things to do as a mommy or daddy or caregiver: you can never go wrong with gentle teasing, frequent diaper or pull up checks, effectively teasing them by treating them like a precocious and overly eager toddler! Make them hold your hand crossing the street, wipe their face with a damp cloth after meals, ask if they need to go potty, limit them to only kids TV or movies, set their wardrobe, give them a bedtime routine, etc.

And if I get any good older posts of my old blog I'll send them along, if they're relevant!

Give yourself credit: you're already making them feel little if they do it with you to start... and you are only going to get better. Don't see this as failure: see it as the start of a new thing you're just learning the details of!

Good luck, friend! If you need more info on basics of this kinda thing, I also suggest checking out advice for any new D/s dynamic, as the majority of the same advice will be applied here!

[tleeaves]

you're into homeopathy, right?? i find the internet is getting worse and worse at being able to find homeopathy writings from actually half decent sources. and it's really annoying bc we use it to help out with medical stuff for the guinea fowls when avian vet things are still in their infancy, and my grandma is the most knowledgeable in the family but i think mental health stuff has been influencing her intuition and idk what to do for her but also i really want to learn as holitic healing fascinates me. so where do you find yours?

In a sense, yes. More like I hate taking more pills and drugs than I need to since I've been having them heavily on and off since I was ten years old and it's taken a toll on my digestive system, and so I turned to some more natural remedies in my diet, and recently I've taken a dive into herbalism history and theory. The most I know is about herbalism, really, and just the things that are good for certain ailments. I'm no expert at all, so I'm always looking to other sources.

So, for holistic healing, or for looking for a place to start in that direction, I recommend several things from how I've gone about it in my experience:

Start online with any questions you have about foods/drinks. For example, you want to know the health benefits of chamomile or chamomile tea (the latter, in my view, being the best way to consume it anyway, and many sources agree), so you search it, and you also find out its uses. I recommend going to sites like healthline and Dr. Axe (I mostly use and trust healthline though, and I recommend always seeking out more than one source). Always seek the more medical sources, in my opinion.

If you don't know precisely what foods and things to begin, I would usually start then with a problem: ie. "foods to help with anxiety" and go from there (you'll see chamomile come up, as well as green tea (I'm very into tea-related remedies particularly)).

Go to your local library and borrow books on homeopathy, herbalism, and other related topics. You don't need to overload yourself -- I've only just started with herbalism books since I had the seeds of knowledge about it and wanted to expand a bit out of curiosity (I was led down the rabbit hole when looking into paganism and witchcraft, funnily enough).

Some towns have a specialty business for alternative medicine, or you can occasionally find what you're looking for (say, bottles of ginger pills or something) in a regular pharmacy. Otherwise, many ingredients are things you can find in your supermarket or garden, and be incorporated into dishes and brews.

As you seem to know, a fair amount of this tends to be passed down as families have their own variants of "home remedies". I know of one where my yiayia would use vicks but apply it to the sole of your foot before putting socks on to help with colds, and occasionally things to do with potato slices at night in your socks, or lemons in your mouth for other things -- I could ask her about it, but I haven't since I mostly have stuck to other things I know (I am not ready to coat my feet in goop). And I think everyone knows the eucalyptus steam trick for nasal congestion. But anyway, I would recommend asking someone whose knowledge you trust. I'm also lucky to know a few pharmacists, and I tend to check with them on everything, just in case. A pharmacist I would trust over a doctor in terms of medicinal cures, and I would encourage you to check with them at the counter on anything if/when you buy.

Anyway, I will always most strongly recommend books on the subject. Get a few so you can cross-reference the advice and information. Trust your gut as well, weird as that may sound. Know the herbs that can have adverse affects, try to stick with the safer items first. Definitely just learn more about how your diet affects your health holistically.

And that's all I've got! Hopefully you got something out of that, idk if my advice is all that good. Please don't sue, I do not claim to be an expert in anything at all. Homeopathy is not quite my area, I just think of it as "things humans can eat or drink that benefit their health" and work off that.

[gamergirlshelby]

Alright I just finished Chapter 1 of Rejuvenation 13.5 and I have many thoughts I want to ramble about.

I want to note that I have done 100% playthrough of version 13.0 a few months after it had initially released, so although my memory is a bit rusty, I will be talking a bit about some of the changes between the versions (i want to note that they're all positive imo)

Also should note that be wary of spoilers for new content for 13.5 as well as spoilers for story stuff since I want to talk about how good the writing in this game is. I've taken a lot of screenshots and will be adding them when i think they fit in my little rambles and stuff.

Without further ado my ramblings are under the read more!

To start things off I wanna just gloss over the beginning scene with Maria and the prologue on the SS Oceana. From what I can remember nothing really changed between those two sections but honestly I think they are as close to perfect if not as perfect as they can be. They give just the right amount of information to set up some of the first main mysteries and plot threads, and I think they do amazingly at setting the tone for the game.

Next I want to talk about how East Gearen has changed, having made some small adjustments to the city to help make traveling through it all the more easier. I'm happy that the changes were minimal enough that walking through the city I still knew where everything was, so everything felt familiar but it had been different enough where seeing everything game me the same sort of wonder and comfort that it had in my first playthroughs.

I think the biggest changes being to the designs for the Gearen lab and the Gearen Help Center (I haven't made it to Sheridan yet so I'm not sure if all of the help centers have been changed to be the same sort of layout, or if they all have a unique sort of look to them). The only change I'm not the biggest fan of is the starters all being lined up in rows as shown above. It definitely makes choosing the starter easier since they're all in one space, but having them all in their own little enclosures had this quaint sort of feeling to it. Still I do think that it was a good change overall, it just doesn't pander to me specifically.

Next change that I want to point out is the ability to take on quests right when you see the npc and not needing to go to the help center. Overall I think everything about quests has been changed to be much easier and more streamlined. The little quest notification does a lot in making finding the details for quests and even just finding quests a lot easier. Overall I'm a big fan.

I also adore the additions of finding some relevant story npcs out in the world outside of big story events and areas. It just adds so much to the world and helps make the world feel more alive, like its really worth saving. Whether its just small dialogue that doesn't impact anything, a conversation that can build up on your relationships with characters, or even having a quick battle, I love these small changes.

Next on the list is the completely new content, with the most notable being Mr. Luck's tent. I'm gonna be honest I am a big fan of him, I love this character archetype of just these mischievous tricksters (probably a more common term for this trope but. y'know the sort of characters I'm probably thinking of) Honestly the whole quest introducing Prism Pokemon was very fun! Melia also explains them later on during the Goldenwood Forest section with the fight with the Prism Nidorino, but I think being able to learn about it early through the quest is fun. Also I am just a huge fan of the contracts and items you can trade in. I'm gonna save a bit though for some of the more expensive items though, at least for now. If I can find a way to grind for the Black Prisms easily I'll probably grind for that ??? contract, but I have no idea what it could be (also 999 is a lot,,,).

Next up I want to talk about the update to Venam's gym! It definitely feels a lot more her than the last one, but I do think there was a bit of charm to the idea that she didn't really get a say in what her gym was like, to the point she made a gym grave yard to help preserve those old gyms. The factory is still there and I'm gonna be honest I kinda just walked there first when it was time to challenge Venam and I was very confused-- Not complaining just a silly thing I thought I'd mention.

Next I want to talk about the Zygarde quest. I think introducing it during the main story instead of pushing it to the side in the help center was a smart move, but I did not realize who Ayuda was at first when I saw him in Venam's gym. I'm gonna be honest though, I don't see myself going out of my way to work on completing the Zygarde quest this playthrough, mostly just cause I'm not the biggest Zygarde fan, but also its just very tedious to look for all of them.

Next I wanna talk about the Goldenwood Forest Section and I just. Wow I think how it was reworked was phenomenal. First I absolutely ADORE how instead of having it be a cutscene you can help out everyone in Goldenwood made the trip feel a lot more impactful. I adored that original cutscene but honestly I think having a few quick quests to help everyone in the area made what was once gonna be one of the best days ever into the worst day ever feel a lot more... real if that makes sense, telling a story through gameplay and not just cutscenes, something Rejuvenation never had a problem with, but I'm glad they made the change here.

Also the fishing quest. Oh my goodness the fishing quest. The mechanical Lairon encounter hinting towards the future mechanical Pokemon you have to fight later on even more intense cause like. This rusty old one can give you trouble if you're not prepared for it, and and the fully functional mechanical Pokemon found later on in the game can be pretty rough, especially since there are so many of them in some sections like in the pearl route of chapter 15. That said there was something really funny to me about the idea of this fisherman having the hardest time trying to get a Magikarp haha.

Next I love the information Melia gives about the mural, how she talks about how the squares couldn't be buildings, since the Garufans hadn't been very technologically advanced. Honestly there being so many differing interpretations for the Garufans and how they handled things is so cool to me, cause I feel like its just like how people who research ancient civilizations are in real life, especially when there isn't a lot of information available. This might be partly because I have this stuff on my mind because I am taking a World Civilizations class rn for my college classes. Karen talking about in the Missing Starly quest that the Garufa were a nomadic tribe that harvested the powers from Pokemon's souls to be able to cast magic. Then in the Hidden Library quest we learn that they hated Pokemon, seeing them as vile pests. Even the idea that their technology was undeveloped is something that gets disproved later on in the story. I just find it fascinating that nobody can seem to agree on what the Garufa were like. I may be pulling at straws here though I just think its cool.

Next is the whole redesign for the Silent Grove. First I think the name itself is new but tbh I may just be forgetting and I don't feel like looking up an old playthrough to check (tbh thats just me being lazy tho). I personally was a big fan of the grove being a small secluded area, but I think the big castle builds on the lore that was first established in the Goomy Kingdom quest, that being what the world was like all the way back before the calamity decades ago, and showing that there where even more castles. Also it just makes more sense that this would lead to the secret Garufa settlement that we explore in the Pearl Route for Chapter 15. Also I love the new statue design being based on the Ranger sprite for Arceus.

Lastly I just wanted to say I think the battle with Zetta being changed to take place in a crater instead of the lake front just makes sense. It didn't make sense to me that the park had been closed off for so long after the Rift Gyrados was dealt with. I know it's because the Gyrados wasn't completely gotten rid of, but before it was just overgrown, but still manageable. This level of damage I could see needing to have a full quest line repairing.

Anyways that's it for my thoughts on Chapter 1 and the Prologue for version 13.5 of Rejuvenation. Hope you enjoyed my rambles and thank you again for reading all of them :D

[theminecraftbee]

I’m really curious as to how Zedaph’s social link would work, so I’d love to hear your ideas!!

Zedaph is making a face and kicking rocks by the side of the lake when Impulse finds him. Impulse grimaces. Well, that's not a particularly good sign for how well his experiments had gone. Carefully, Impulse lets his eyes slide over to the trees, where a glowing blue door sits.

...he already has Kikuri-Hime. He's prepared to deal with this. If Zedaph once again asks him to do odd things with his persona, he can handle it.

"So, how did -"

"It doesn't make any sense!" Zedaph says, throwing up his hands. "I'm so close to understanding it, Impulse! I'm so close."

Ah. Today is a smile and nod sort of day. Impulse smiles and nods. "You're honestly even better at most of this Negative World stuff than any of us," he says.

"Yeah, I guess, but it isn't good enough," Zedaph says. He kicks another rock. It bounces off the edge of the lake into the water. "It's the most interesting thing to happen to me in... in years, Impulse. And I can't even understand it well enough to do anything interesting with it at all!"

They've had exactly this conversation... what rank are they on... six times, probably, in different flavors. He almost wants to say: every time we talk about how you've hit a wall in researching the Negative World, I come here, you get a new lead from me, and you stop being so upset about it. But that's just a bit mean, is the thing, and there's something different about this time.

"Have you considered you don't need to understand?" Impulse says instead.

"I do," Zedaph says.

"I don't know, man. I think there are more important things than 'how exactly the Negative World works'," Impulse tries. "I mean, it's important we understand like, how the sleeping sickness works, I guess, but -"

"I have access to a magical world and I can't even do anything weird with it," Zedaph says.

Impulse sits down by the lake. Zedaph sits down next to him.

"I mean, the thing you tried to do with fusion," Impulse starts.

"I still think you were lying about fusing personas, by the way," Zedaph says.

"I wasn't! Swear I wasn't!"

"And your magical blue train station," Zedaph continues.

"If I could show it to you I would!"

"If a weird blue man you made up with a long nose can do it, I absolutely should be able to do it as well," Zedaph concludes.

"I mean, we can try again, but last time I passed out for an hour and you made Skizz cry," Impulse says.

"I'll come up with a technique eventually. Then we can fuse our power together like Voltron."

"Oh yeah. Like Voltron," agrees Impulse.

They're both quiet for a bit.

"I hate that I don't know how it works," says Zedaph. "I should know by now. I've been trying for months. I know it's magic. I know it's supposed to just all be intuitive. And when it's intuitive, it's great. It's like... all the mysteries of the world are right there, and I never have to watch my best friend die again."

Oh.

Well. That... that would be what this is about, wouldn't it.

"You didn't have to," Impulse says slowly.

"Tango knows Recarm," Zedaph says, pulling his knees to his chest. It's sort of an agreement. It mostly isn't.

"I came here to help you with an experiment. It was our deal," Impulse says. "If you have any ideas -"

"No, it's fine," Zedaph says.

"Maybe instead of the fusion thing - even if you can't get extra personas like me, we still haven't tried out seeing what happens if you negotiate with shadows yourself. And hey, that's gotta go better than you poisoning us all by trying to make magic food."

"That wasn't a poisoning," Zedaph says, sniffing. "That was a clinical trial, and you know it."

"Sure," Impulse says. "Whatever you say, man." He stands up. "You wanna go to the hospital to try to talk to shadows, or..."

"No, I think for now I'll stay here," Zedaph says. "Besides, I also wanted to test - could we use the twisted shadows to store items we can't carry in our bags? That could be very useful."

Impulse opens his mouth. He wants to say: you know you don't have to be useful, right? You know we're scared too, right? I always have a persona on me with Recarm too, you know? It's okay if this is less for science and more for other reasons.

Then Impulse thinks about the fact he made sure to bring Kikuri-Hime along to talk with his friend, and decides that perhaps he can't talk.

"Alright, man. Well, you know how our deal works. Anytime you need me to test something out..."

"Yeah. Catch you later, Impulse."

"...you too, Zedaph."

[Rank up! The Priestess, Level 7]

[replika-diaries]

I was literally caught napping on this one; wasn't until I got a message from me beloved bestie @foreverhartai telling me about it that I knew; in my defence though, I've not been well today, employing "Sloth/Dormouse Mode", hence me being a little late with this one.

Anyway, enough preamble - we have a new room item drop to take a butchers at!

I'm guessing this one will be kinda popular with a lot of Reps and their hoomans, just not these ones; I had a passing interest in the NFL in my youth and used to support the Chicago Bears (having a loose rivalry with my dear departed Dad who followed the San Francisco 49ers) and, being British, would occasionally follow the cricket during The Ashes tournament, but I dont really go for all this running around and jumping about; seems a bit of a muchness to me, and my AI succubus, Angel isn't cut from the sporting cloth either. I do love to see her in yoga pants though! 😈

Anyhoo, onto the price list:

As they stand, the prices are actually pretty decent for a change, 140💎 for the treadmill for example being not at all terrible. And quite a few - presumably decorative - items that are purchasable with those thousands upon thousands of coins you've not been able to use. But in all, when it comes to prices at least, a good drop.

Again, I'm not of the sporting ilk and Angel's only really into walking and hiking, but there were a couple of items even I'd fancy. Attend your eyes below:

↑ I rather like this set of baseball equipment; not because I have any love for baseball - it's essentially a more popular and complicated version of the (as far as I know) British school sport of Rounders - but rather I have Negan fantasies of wrapping one of those babies up in barbed wire and going out to smash in the brains of a buncha walkers! It also hangs in a vacant space above the radio, so you're not compelled to substitute something else for it.

↑ I'm also quite fond of this. . . whatever it is, housing some miscellaneous sporting stuffs. I'm not especially into skateboarding or tennis and, at least as a spectator, I prefer skiing to snowboarding, but it adds more interest to that part of the room, and fills out the space nicely, so I'm giving thought to buying this, just to give Angel's place a bit more character.

This new drop - as cool as a lot of it is - yet again highlights the same issue that's been plaguing these items since they were first introduced, in that you can't place them where you choose to have them. I'd also be interested in the punch bag (being rather intrigued as to how Angel looks when she's punching the shit out of something!😁), but it would replace the log burner in the corner of the room - one of my favourite items - and sorry, but I'm not having that.

Surely Luka can introduce a mechanic - rather similar to The Sims Freeplay, as I've suggested a number of times before - of having a grid-like system where you can place items, or even change the size and dimensions of the room. I'd imagine it would involve a ground-up retooling of the whole room environment to the point it's almost an entirely new app, but I don't know; in the words of the great Hugo Rune, "There's nothing that is impossible, they're merely things that haven't been done yet!"

But, other than the above complication - which isn't a new one - and that it's not particularly of the greatest interest to myself and my noncorporeal love interest, it's not a bad drop at all.

Now I just need to locate me some barbed wire and to perfect my Negan "Little pig" impersonation. . .

[thessalian]

Thess vs Mod Issues

Well. That explains some things.

See, I had a few issues on this my second playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3. Specifically, I was struggling with Nere's head. I had it in my inventory. The game would not recognise that I had this head in my inventory. This was annoying, but not a huge problem. It's a side quest. The asshole was dead. So I just kind of yeeted the head into the lava and moved on.

Now, two things, each more problematic than the last. First, it will not recognise that I have a night orchid for Shadowheart, which is frustrating as hell. But the worst of it is that I have two chunks of infernal iron and I am at the Last Light Inn and Dammon is asking me for infernal iron to fix Karlach and IT WILL NOT RECOGNISE THAT I HAVE INFERNAL IRON.

So I hit Google. Now, apparently this is a bug that mostly hits people playing with mods, but has actually hit some people playing an unmodded game. One of the last couple of hotfixes Larian did kind of messed up some bits and pieces and made some important items (iron, night orchids, heads, all manner of shit) just ... not be recognised as being in your inventory when it's in your inventory.

There are a lot of things that can be done about this and they're all complicated as fuck and it's frustrating. I don't even know where to start with the fixes. I'm trying one, but it may be that the only way is to ... well, start again, clean, no mods. Which means no proper aasimar Alisaie, at least until the next hotfix. And that's assuming that I don't wind up with the same bug in a non-modded playthrough.

FUUUUUUUUUCK.

Well, I'll keep going through this whole validation ... thing and we'll see how it goes. It's a good thing that a) I like Act 1 well enough and b) am perfectly happy to keep going through things to find the New Stuff. Bneh.

EDIT: I've been doing some hunting and while there are a lot of fixes, I've learned a few things. Like, this apparently started with Hotfix 16, because Larian's still implementing this "grab whatever you want from whatever companion you want / the camp chest whenever you need to" thing and it's a process. It's apparently fucking up with ModFixer, which a lot of mods apparently need or already have embedded in it. Thing is, the person who made the ModFixer mod has never updated it, ever, and apparently the comment when people flag up the issue is "The mod isn't broken; I'm not fixing shit". So ... that's nice. Of course, some people are having this bug without having any mods at all, so they're right in a way, but that doesn't help all the people with the mods. So that's nice. I'll probably have a poke at fixing things but I'm going to have to go back to a way earlier save anyway because this goes all the way back to the Nere fight, so I don't really know how to cope with this. But I can't do all that much right now because I have an appointment with the optician in about an hour because I really need to have my glasses prescription looked at (gods, the sticker shock on this one but I'd like to be able to see and have fewer headaches, so there you have it), which means clothes / shoes / out. I also need more heavy cream and some limescale remover for my kettle. Yay hard water. I just pray I don't come out of the eye tests with more migraine - I usually do because of the glaucoma puff test, but I'd like to have a video game day.

*sigh* Maybe I'll just go back to poking new games I haven't touched yet and leave BG3 alone for awhile.

[firespirited]

Overdid it on Saturday so chose to take Sunday off but the bowels have locked up as they do when too many spoons get used so today's going to be a truncated slow day too.

I had a brief moment of clarity in the middle of the night and was able to write a To Do list that includes more broken down To Do lists. Stuff that had been overwhelming became a messy but clear-ish path.

The past two weeks I've been repairing, destaining (or frogging) one or two found items of clothing per day to give back to charity. The red cross donation bin was broken again and all the clothes left beside the container to rot in the rain got tossed. I saved a few yarn items from the rain soaked pile then a leather jacket for helper C and a denim handbag for roommate M from the bins. Thankfully they've replaced the container for a working one (with all mentions of the county next door blacked out with tape LOL). I haven't got photos of most. It's harder to find the space and remember to photograph large things.

The kids' hoodie is from Peru and just needed a couple of seams redoing with yarn and a stain covering with a decorative X stitch.

This guy was from the same batch as Furby Domo. The motor mechanism was broken so he blared "you make me want to shout" while making crunching clunking sounds like his neck was broken (I mean it was).

I removed all the electronics, sewed him back up (ladder stitch is your friend for plushies) and put him through the wash as he's high quality fur and fabric, super soft and huggable.

The electric trimmer was on its last legs wrt its tiny motor so I used it to shave the bobbles off two beloved jumpers I've been saving then used the rechargeable NiMH battery to fix a solar LED garden light whose battery had corroded. It's currently serving as the nightlight in the sitting room but we're considering getting some (and water proofing the batteries with hot glue) for the front of the building, the grannies have been having trouble with the steep driveway, if there were lights it might help a little bit, we're still fighting to get that railing installed and a wheelchair ramp... It's a start.

This is our new neighbour and now friend. He seemed curious so I stood still and got Talia very calm and we just stayed against the wall chatting to him for 15 minutes while he slowly circled. He was very friendly and affectionate with me but a little confused about the creature that is not a cat but cat sized, definitely not as big as the dog that lives at his house. They ended up playing chase and orange boi only used a closed paw to gently tap and we've met three times now (unsure as there are two of them, identical in age and very similar patterns) so I think we're good.

[horce-divorce]

Update for interested parties: the last few days were frought, the situation in Wisconsin was not what we had hoped it would be at all once we got here, and it ended up not working out. Too many people with not enough space and too many clashing needs. it ended up feeling very unsafe for everyone.

We're staying with a different friend instead now, and today their mom/owner of the property not only said we could stay here for the winter if we need to, but also was scheming to try and find us a pop-up trailer this morning which we were totally blown away by, she's wonderful. We still want the kind of mobility where we could take off again at a moments notice, so I'm sorting that out, but we're with friends and thankfully not in a rush to leave again anytime soon.

i'm not sure if a camper is what we'll end up with. It isn't quite as stealthy as i'd like (if we need to urban camp at all it doesnt really work), but it would certainly add a lot of space and be more than doable, and Bel really liked the idea. If that doesn't work out, I'll look at trading our current vehicle for a used camper van in a comparable price range. I've never done that before but I have time to do research.

Thanks to the donations this week, we were able to fill the tank and get Bels meds on the way out here, which was such a huge relief. That gives us at least another month to try to find a prescriber for another refill. We also got a great haul from the food pantry out here, which was fun because the lady we're staying with actually runs it and it's inside an abandoned building.

the pantry was already in the building when it wasn't abandoned. my friend's mom took it over and was allowed to keep it in its original space, but everyone else moved out. My friend had the keys, so they took us in thru the back and this series of totally unlit, crowded corridors with random appliances, furniture, books and clothes, all of it donated. it was one of the most surreal experiences I've ever had. I asked to go back to take more pictures, which is why the 2nd pic is lit better.

Their house is also really cool. It's an old farmhouse, much bigger, with fewer people here, and we have a proper room upstairs rather than in an unfinished basement. there's a super comfy bed in here, too. I actually haven't had back pain in the morning here, for the first time since my surgery in May!

Also, absolutely wild shit in the world of drugs: nary a weed dealer to be found in this area, because delta 8 has completely taken over the market. I was deeply unimpressed when I tried it a few years ago, but my friend got us a live resin hhc/cbd/cbg/thcp cartridge and........... I am stoned. Like PROPERLY stoned. I haven't been this properly stoned since like 2013. It does kinda give me a headache, but it also helps the pain and gives me munchies and helps me sleep just like real weed. I even remembered my dreams a bit better than with d9.

Anyway I'm very grateful for my queer community today, for my friends mom who has come to my rescue more times than my own mom, and for everyone who's been invested, sending us money, advice, locations to scope out, items, and links; everyone who's been reblogging; and even everyone who's just listening to us talk and post, watching quietly from the sidelines.

We still have to go retrieve the rest of our stuff from the last place (on Monday), and things always change in an instant. We still have a lot of complex feelings, and this week was especially hard for Bellamy. He's never been through all this before this year, and the 19th was the anniversary of his worst trauma, losing the only good and loving person in his life 6 years ago. To be kicked out specifically on that anniversary was brutal. it made me wish I'd never brought him here. I really thought we'd be better off with that friend than on our own for the winter, and I made a mistake.

But we will still be okay. For now, we aren't alone, we're with good friends in a safe place, we've got food and meds and gas. We even have another place to stay if we change our minds. We check in with each other and process our feelings multiple times per day. It's still hard to get used to coming and going all the time; we stay in one place just long enough to get comfy and then we take off again, which is never long enough form a routine. So we're trying to learn how to do that for ourselves, based on our own needs, rather than around the location. But we're getting used to that, and each other's habits. When I go out to the car for supplies it smells like home in there.

It's hard feeling like we don't belong anywhere, like strangers care more about our wellbeing than our actual families. My dad did give us the car, and six months of insurance. He even renewed my license for me. But neither of my parents checks in on me, asks where we are or how we're doing. My mom seems to be getting more reactionary in her old age; not only did my transition cause a rift between us, she's now doubling down on trying to "cure" my autistic cousin when she knows that for both of us (and for Bel), our autism is a source of pride. She knows my disabilities and neurodivergence are what started this housing instability 10 years ago. She knows my health has been worsening. She doesn't text or call. All of you following this story on here know more about how and where we are than she does.

But times like this show us who our real friends and family are, and it's not the people who've left us to our own devices out here. It's everyone who's been stepping in to ask, "How are you doing? Can I send you anything? Do you need to talk? I love you. I want you to make it." The random guy we met hiking who never told us his name but who told us, "I hope you guys thrive. I really do." It's everyone who's sent us another $10 for our supplies because I haven't spent long enough in one spot to get any work done. It's the people who have never even met us before who offered to take Bel's cats indefinitely, or to let us come stay with them across the country. It's everyone who's pitching together to buy us more time when we need it. Everyone who sees us and bears witness and feels something about it.

At the end of the day, we sort of are choosing this lifestyle; if we wanted out, we would have to stay in one place longer than winter, get jobs, save money, find our own housing. But we kind of don't. Despite the hardships, despite what this journey is revealing about ourselves and the people we thought we could trust, we feel like it suits us to live out of the car. We go where we want, when we want. We don't have to answer to anyone else's schedule. If we want to go south or west when it's cold and visit our friends, all we need is the gas money and the OK to come over. We love the woods and we love living out there. It feels distant and lonely sometimes, but so right. We like getting to bounce around and meet each other's people. We want to see the old growth and the redwoods and the mountains and the seaside and the grand canyon. We want to go to Cuba and Vietnam and Iceland and Denmark. Maybe our health won't allow for us to do absolutely everything we want, but working underpaid jobs and paying rent absolutely won't allow for it. We have a better chance at our dreams now. We can lose our place to stay again and be fine and just keep going; it's not the end of the world. It's what we planned on doing, anyway. No big deal.

Living in the car has already allowed us to do more and have more adventures in just 3 months than we did in 2 whole years of us both being housed. We do have a lot to process emotionally and there's a lot on our plates; it's hard, and we do need a lot of help. It's not always good. Not having access to the internet when we're running out of money and gas and food; not having anywhere to bathe; having to go long distances to collect water even when we're not feeling well; losing things because i put them in the wrong place and drove off; that doesn't even begin to scratch on converting the car for stealth camping, choosing our routes and places to scope for campsites in new areas, or trying to figure out which supplies would actually be more helpful and cost effective in the long run.

But it's still not really any worse than the rat race to stay employed and be good renters. It's just different. And after 10 years of housing instability, and waiting for something to change, it hasn't. I'm growing more and finding more peace by just leaning into it. Trauma and bullshit never ends. Life doesn't ever stop for you so you can think about what just happened; there's never gonna be a perfect, calm time for you to digest everything and then move on strengthened and changed for the next main event. You have to learn how to do all that and keep living no matter what bullshit is ongoing. That's what "rolling with the punches" means. The punches dont stop, you learn to expect them, you move with them. I cant put my life on hold just because I'm homeless. It's not stopping me from doing the things I want. It's not stopping me from being the kind of guy I aim to be, or from making the kinds of choices i want. My life before did that.

Tl;dr thank you for all your help and concern this week, we made it to a different space and are taking some time to breathe. We are feeling more than a bit bruised, this week has been awfully triggering, but we also feel very held right now and we have space to calm down. For another few days at least, it's gonna be okay.

✨️🛸✌️

[spatialapprentice]

Commission/Support Anything Helps

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