#thesheriffssecretpolice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

im-an-anxious-wreck · 3 years

Text

Indigo Tulips And A Trip Down Memory Lane

AO3 link

Prompt/idea from @thesheriffssecretpolice: someone (logan?) finds a portal that lets them time travel. everytime they do, they lose a little more of their memories, but their drive to visit other times and learn other's stories is too tempting to just stop.

…

Summary: Patton knows he shouldn't step through the archway. He really shouldn't… his mother sent him on an important errand, and besides not walking through a possible portal in a forest that was known for people disappearing in, just seemed like common sense. So really, he shouldn't.

Not to mention— and he's already stepped through.

Well, what's done is done.

So the real question is, what great adventure awaits on the other side?

Warnings: referenced abuse, crying, cursing, referenced past starvation, Patton thinks that he might not be allowed to eat. He is wrong

Perspective/main character: Patton

Side/secondary characters: Logan, Virgil, Roman

Appear: The Dragon Witch, Remus, Janus

Romantic relationship(s): logicality, established prinxiety, dukeceit mentioned, (everything else is platonic)

Word Count: 14,150

Link to my collection of TSS fanworks

Patton had heard the folk tales about the nearby woods. He'd heard about people disappearing to never return, and the few that did return, just weren't the same, memory all but gone.

Which is why he really shouldn't be travelling through the forest, and at night no less! But when the sun was almost touching the west hills, Mother had said to go through the forest to the town a few miles away to get her alcohol, and to not come back until he did.

So, mostly just to avoid her ire, he'd set off.

He couldn't help but feel rather grateful for the heavy travelling cloak he'd made several years back and thought to bring, as he tugged it a little closer to protect himself against the chilly winds.

His legs were starting to ache when he spotted an eerie blue light off to the left… but the path bent to the right. He'd heard not to stray off the path, after all, wasn't that the lesson taught in Little Red Riding Hood?

But it didn't look like it was that far off the path, so surely Patton could easily find his way back.

Just a little peek, just to settle his curiosity.

…

He'd… he'd rather underestimated how close it actually was to the path. The dim blue light had looked close, but it didn't seem to be getting any closer.

Patton was just about to give up in weary frustration and turn back when he, quite out of nowhere, was in a small clearing.

In the middle, almost amongst the trees, stood a large archway formed of stone. It had writing etched deep into it, the words 'Trade A World For A Year, Ye Be Warned All Who Enter Here' were curved to fit around the top and glowing a deep blue.

He just hoped the rather nonsensical words weren't a warning for anything bad.

However, perhaps the strangest thing about the archway was the fact that it was filled with glowing blue, much like the clear afternoon sky, but if the sky swirled around in a spiral.

The slightest hum that emanated from it was all but beckoning Patton closer.

He wasn't going to touch it! He just wanted to be able to see it a bit better. Just... Just a little closer.

Just a little closer.

The warmth radiated from it like a hearth in the dead of winter, and when Patton touched the stone it was so like physical contact that it made him want to laugh and cry all at once.

Surely nothing bad could possibly ever come from something that could cause such a pleasant feeling in Patton.

Patton only hesitated for a moment longer before he stepped through the portal, warmth surrounding him, and twinkling blue light flittering about.

He didn't walk out the portal so much as stumble out, and was only able to just catch himself, glasses less fortunate as they fell off his face and into the dirt.

Patton picked his glasses up and put them on, marvelling at the rolling, green hills that were dotted with flowers of every colour of the rainbow. Foggy mountains surrounded the grassy field on all sides in the far beyond, and white puffy clouds lazily slid across the blue sky that stretched ever upwards.

But what caught Patton's eye the most, was a man that was sitting in the lush grass only a few feet away, staring at an indigo tulip. He had black glasses —practically identical to Patton's own, only in better condition as it didn't have tape holding it together—, khaki slacks, a black polo, and his tie was almost the colour of the flower he was looking at.

Patton stepped a few steps forward, glancing behind him and noticing that the portal was gone. He cleared his throat, hoping not to startle the man, but Patton needn't have worried as the man didn't even glance up.

"Um… hello?" Patton asked.

The man finally looked at Patton, but didn't seem very surprised at his sudden appearance. "Greetings."

"Oh, uh hi! I'm Patton! What's your name?"

"Hello, Patton. I am…" The man's brow creased. "I am…" He blinked in confusion. "Er… um, apologies, I don't seem to have that information at the moment."

"Oh, well… that's alright! Um, what are you doing?"

"I have been observing this flower. Would you like to observe it with me?"

"Sure!" Patton sat down next to the man and looked at the flower… And looked at the flower…… And looked at the flower.

Patton could already feel the impatience rising in him, and it hadn't even been a minute! But the man seemed perfectly content just looking at the flower. It wasn't even doing anything, only just barely swaying in the wind.

"Sooo," Patton finally said. "How long have you been here?"

The man frowned again. "It was about mid day? I believe. I took a few bathroom, or should I say tree breaks." He looked up at the sky, frown only deepening. "Wait, that cannot be correct, it's mid-afternoon. So for… an entire 24 hours? Give or take of course. I… I hadn't realised I'd been here so long. Ah, wait. I did take a nap when it was dark. That must've been the night."

"Oh, um, yeah, it can be really easy to lose track of time…" Patton decidedly wasn't going to mention that losing track of that much time, let alone forgetting one's name, was very concerning. "Did you come through the portal?"

"The… Oh! Yes, I did." The man looked back to where the portal had been. "Oh… well, that's concerning," The man said, his tone anything but.

"Yeah… oh no! How am I gonna get back home? I wasn't even thinking. My mother is gonna be so mad!"

"No offence intended, but… aren't you a bit old to be worried about your mother being annoyed at you for being late?"

"Hah… you'd think. But no, she— uh, she sent me on an errand that's really important to her so it makes sense for her to be upset and punish me for being lazy and taking so long."

"No? It really doesn't make sense?? Also punish you? For what!? Wouldn't she understand if you explained the situation?"

"But… I'll be late? It doesn't really matter why. I never try hard enough."

"Patton, that's not true. Sometimes there are things out of our control, and in that case, it's really not our fault. You can only do so much. I'm… I'm quite sorry that she's made you believe otherwise. That she thinks you're lazy even though you're already doing your best."

"I… I'm really not doing my best though. If I just tried harder…"

"Patton, your best, doesn't actually mean your very best."

"It doesn't?" Patton asked confusedly. The man seemed very smart, but that just didn't sound right.

"No. It doesn't mean that you should work yourself figuratively ragged. It means just do what you can, while keeping your physical and mental health in mind. And sometimes 'your best' fluctuates. You may not be able to do the same amount of things as the week, day, or even hour before, and that's okay.

"This isn't your fault. It's not your fault if you get home late. You're doing everything that you possibly can right now. And that's enough." The Man adjusted his glasses. "Apologies if this is too straightforward but, you are enough. You're very much enough, Patton."

"O— oh. Oh wow." A few tears dripped down Patton's cheeks.

"Ah, that was too much. Apologies, I didn't mean to make you cry!"

"No! It's alright. These are happy tears!" Patton wiped under his eyes the best he could. "I'm crying because you're so incredibly sweet, and I really needed to hear that. So thank you."

"Oh… well… I'm glad it's the happy kind of tears. I still don't think making you cry could be a good thing… but you don't seem to be upset by it."

Patton sniffed. "I'm not upset by it! If anything, I'm thanking you for it."

"Um, alright. I… okay."

Patton light-heartedly huffed. "Okay… I do have a question though."

"And I shall answer it to the best of my ability."

"How… how are we going to get back now?"

"Ah, excellent question. That is rather an issue right now. Considering the portal has disappeared, it's going to be difficult to get home… wherever that is. Ah, and that's another problem I currently have. I can't remember anything. Although, fortunately for us, this type of amnesia doesn't affect the part of the brain that processes language…" The man adjusted his glasses. "That is a strange sensation. Knowing something rather complex without being able to remember learning it… hmm."

"Well, fudge. What can we do then?"

"I suppose try to find a drinking source. Then make a shelter and try to wildcraft some food. Oh, interesting… I appear to know some things about wildcrafting."

Patton looked out across the hilly field. "Hey! Is that smoke? Maybe it's from someone's campfire or even a chimney!"

"Ah, excellent observation. We should head in that direction and see if they are willing to assist us. Even just providing shelter for the night would be helpful."

"Yeah! Good idea."

"Hmm, it appears to be mid to late afternoon, so we should reach there at about dusk? Perhaps a bit later."

"Okay! Well… I guess we should be off then."

"Of course…" The man looked back down at the indigo tulip sadly before rising to his feet and offering Patton a hand up.

After Patton had gotten his feet under himself again, he said, "You know, you can take the flower with us, if you want to."

"Take… the flower?"

"Yeah, like just break the stem and take the flower."

"Oh, yes. I'd forgotten that some people do that... But won't it not stay unwilted longer if we leave it intact?"

"...You mean it'll wilt faster if it's picked?"

"Yes, is that not what I said?"

"Eh… kinda. Um, but yeah, it'll most likely stay nice longer if you leave it, but who's gonna notice one flower way out here, and then you can enjoy it 'till it wilts tomorrow."

"Oh… well, that's alright then." The man bent down and gently plucked the tulip, cradling the flower between his hands.

"Lead the way!" Patton exclaimed.

…

Patton hated walking. Okay, he didn't actually. He'd always loved taking walks —especially if the alternative was being in the cramped house with his mother— but they'd been walking for hours, and he'd already walked aways before finding the portal. His knees hurt, his feet hurt, he was hungry and tired.

Plus, on top of all that, he was overstimulated.

Indigo, as Patton had taken to calling the other man in his head, had been cold, arms wrapped around himself and teeth chattering. So Patton had offered him Patton's travelling cloak and Indigo, being courteous gentleman that he was, had determined that the best way to keep them both warm was to share the cloak. Which meant that Patton's left side was drenched in warmth.

It wasn't so bad at first! It'd actually been very nice. Physical contact that wasn't painful was amazing. But after who knows how long, it'd gotten too intense, Patton's hands shaking, and his side and arm all but burning.

Honestly, at this point, he'd rather just face the cold, and was just about to slip out the cloak when a homely and invitingly looking cottage came into view.

"Ah!" Indigo exclaimed. "Good. A cottage is perfect. Perhaps it's an elderly couple who won't mind housing us for a night or two." Indigo stepped out of the cloak, Patton almost sighed in relief, and walked ahead, quickly running up the three steps to the cottage porch.

Patton had to practically drag himself up the steps, limbs soft like pudding.

Indigo knocked on the door, which swung open almost instantly to reveal a man about Patton's age. He was rather tall, and his eyes and hair were a deep purple, and he wore a black jacket hoodie with purple plaid patches.

"Greetings, I don't know my name, but this is Patton. We seek shelter for the night."

"Uhh… how did you get here? This place is pretty secluded."

"Um... someone stole our car," —Patton felt his stomach clinch at Indigo's lie, or maybe that was just the hunger— "And we've been walking for quite a while—"

"No, like, you can only access this place with magic, and even then, you'd have to know it existed. So I repeat myself, how did you get here? How did you find us?"

A voice came from farther in the cottage, "Love? Why are you at the door?" A man appeared over the purple man's shoulder. He had chestnut brown hair, the tips a bright red, brown eyes, and dark tan pants, with a white loose shirt and a red scarf around his waist. He looked rather like a pirate, if the pirate had lost most of his stuff.

"Just some people," Virgil said offhandedly, looking very much like he didn't want to be there.

"Oh! I didn't know we were having guests."

"We're not. They just showed up."

The knock off pirate frowned. "They just… showed up?"

Indigo huffed. "You know, if you don't want to take us in for the night, you can just say so."

"No!" The pirate exclaimed. "Nonsense! We have room, right, Virgil?"

The purple man, Virgil apparently, sighed. "Yeah… yeah yeah, we have room. Alright, but over supper you gotta tell us how you even got here."

"Ah," Indigo pushed his glasses farther up his nose. "We'd be glad to do so."

"Oh! Where are my manners? I'm Roman, and this is Virgil."

"Hi! I'm Patton!"

Virgil jumped. "Oh, right. I forgot you were there. Sorry."

"No, no! It's my fault. I've been told I kinda blend into the background when I'm quiet."

"Well, it is very nice to meet you, Patton!" Roman turned to Indigo. "And who might you be?"

"Oh, um, I don't remember my name."

"Yeah, he kinda forgot everything… but I've just been calling him Indigo in my head."

He titled his head to the side, much like a confused puppy. "Indigo?"

"Oh, do you not… you just really seemed to like that Indigo flower so I just…"

"No, it's alright, I was just curious where you got it." Indigo cradled his flower a bit closer to himself.

"Not that this isn't touching…"

"Virgil!" Roman scolded.

"But it's cold as all shit out here, and like, y'all can freeze out here if ya want, but I'm going back to the fire."

Roman sighed. "What he meant to say was, it's really cold out here, so everyone come in where it's warm!"

"Eh… kinda."

Roman and Virgil moved out of the open doorway to let Patton and Indigo in, shutting the door behind them.

"Here," Roman said. "Come sit by the fire and warm up!"

"I'll hang your cloak up," Virgil muttered to Patton.

"Oh, thanks, kiddo!"

After Virgil hung the cloak up on a hook behind the door, he turned back to Patton. "Kiddo?"

"Yeah? If you don't want to be called that then I won't! It's just habit."

"Nah, you're good. Just never heard someone call an adult that."

"So you really don't have any memories?" Roman asked Indigo from farther into the room.

"No. There might be a few like wisps? If that makes sense. But nothing tangible. Just a few vague shapes or feelings."

Roman hummed non-commentally as Patton took in his surroundings.

There were two loveseats facing each other, with a coffee table between them and a large brick fireplace beyond that. The floor was made from wooden planks, and there was a large thick rug under the seating area.

To the left was the kitchen with a bar that had a window into the kitchen. A hallway, most likely leading to any bedrooms and the bathroom, was in the far left corner just beyond the bar.

Indigo was sitting on the right loveseat and Roman on the left, both on the side closest to the fire.

Virgil curled up next to Roman, setting his head on Roman's shoulder, and Patton sat next to Indigo, leaving a bit of space between them.

"Hey, can I see your flower?" Virgil asked, jerking his head to where Indigo was still cradling his flower.

"...Why?"

"Because he has magic!"

"Roman!"

"Magic?"

"Way to ruin the surprise. But yeah, I was just gonna preserve it with magic."

Indigo leaned forward, eyes sparkling. "Really? You can do that?"

"Yeah, you want me to?"

"If it's no trouble, yes please."

Virgil sat up and Roman gently laid his arm across the back of the loveseat from where it'd been wrapped around Virgil.

"Alright." Virgil took a deep breath. "Hold it out."

Indigo did and Virgil gestured, twisting his fingers toward himself, making purple sparks lift the flower to float over the coffee table. Virgil's eyes glowed brightly, the deep purple of his iris now a vibrant, almost electric, purple. The tulip's slightly droopy petals lifted as it reverted back to how fresh it'd been when Indigo first picked it.

"Amazing," Indigo murmured, eyes wide with wonder.

Virgil smiled lopsidedly, eyes fading back to his natural, yet unnatural, eye colour as he leaned back against Roman's side. "Thanks. Magic can be pretty cool, huh?" He gestured once more and the flower was gently laid back into Indigo's awaiting hand, sparks dissipating upon contact.

Indigo nodded. "That was truly extraordinary!"

"I know right!" Roman exclaimed. "He's so talented at magic. I only know a bit of basic fighting magic, but Virgil knows so much!"

"Well, I have been doing it for my entire life, whereas you've only been doing it for a few years. Besides, there's plenty I don't know."

"Is it innate? I mean obviously not completely because as you said you had to learn it. But…"

"Can anyone do magic if they worked at it?"

"Yes."

"I mean… kinda, yeah. It comes a lot easier for some people but technically yeah, anyone could learn at least some basic magic if they were like, really determined."

"Fascinating."

"And there's like different types so some people are better at sometimes than others. Like Roman's fighting magic… which was kind of stolen but that's not the point."

"No! Nuh-huh! I didn't steal it, it was gifted to me. There's a difference."

"You're just lucky Remus was willing to share."

Roman pouted.

"Who's Remus?" Patton asked.

"Oh, that's his brother. He was just like, super naturally good at fighting with magic and gifted Roman with a bit of it. So Roman's been like, building it up ever since. You know like… like with a fire. Like you have a little spark of fire, a little flame, and you kinda have to like, take care of it, and give it more fuel and stuff until it becomes its own fire. It's kind of like that."

"That is very intriguing," Indigo said. "Magic is quite unique and seems to have its own system."

"Yeah, exactly. And there's so much I haven't even covered! But like, we could easily be here all night just with me talkin' about magic."

"It is quite fascinating! Perhaps we could converse about it more tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sounds good!"

"Oh, the soup!" Roman jumped up. "I almost forgot about the soup."

"And you say I'm the bad cook," Virgil teased.

"Well, that's because you are, dear," Roman called from the kitchen. From across the open bar Patton could see Roman stirring a large pot as the smell began wafting into the living room, making Patton's stomach clinch, and this time there was no doubt that it was from hunger.

Virgil sneezed, purple sparks shooting out of his nose as he shook his head like a dog.

"Bless you," Indigo said.

"Thanks. That usually happens, by the way."

"Usually happens?"

"Oh, like after I do magic."

"You're… allergic to magic?"

Virgil snorted. "I can see how you could come to that conclusion, but no, not exactly. It's just a bit of build up. Like some magic will build up in my nose if I do a lot of it, and then I just like, sneeze it out."

"That is weird, but no less fascinating."

"So basically he's allergic to magic," Roman called from the kitchen.

"Hey! No, I'm not."

"Sure, you're not… anyway, everyone come and get it!"

Virgil and Indigo instantly stood up and made their way to where Roman was dishing it up at the bar.

"Sorry, just um… everyone?" Patton curled in self-consciously when all eyes turned to him.

"Uh… yeah everyone." Virgil frowned. "What, you think we'd just leave y'all there to starve while we ate copious amounts of soup?"

"Well, no! I just… if there wasn't enough… I don't mind not…"

"Not what?"

"Not getting any. It's okay! I'm used to it though. Really." God, why did Patton have to open his stupid mouth. He'd been doing so good! But wasn't quite sure what he'd done to deserve the looks of disgust and horror on everyone's faces.

"I would like to have words with your mother," Indigo said, all but spatting out the last word.

"...'M sorry."

"Oh god," Virgil said. "Don't be sorry."

"S— sorry. Ah, no wait—"

"Hey," Roman stepped forward and Patton flinched back, trying to press himself even further into the loveseat. "It's alright. You're okay, Patton."

"I didn't m— mean to make you upset. I— mm."

"Patton," Indigo said softly. "No one is mad or upset at you. We're just concerned about you. Especially that you seem to think it's okay for you to not have any food while we do. Even if there wasn't quite enough, we'd split it evenly, not just give you nothing."

"Gosh, you guys are so nice." Patton didn't mention that it was just because they hadn't had to deal with just how truly awful he could mess stuff up.

"Not really," Virgil said. "I— Patton, this is just basic human decency. We're supposed to take care of each other."

"Oh… I— huh. I just…" Patton finally uncurled out of the small ball he'd tucked himself into, limbs aching from how tense he'd been. "Well, anyway, I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause such a hullabaloo."

"It's alright," Roman murmured. "You can't help reacting like that. I…" Roman seemed like he wanted to say more, but instead said, "Anyway, you feel up to eating, Patton?"

"Oh no! Eating Patton?" Patton giggled a bit at his own joke.

Virgil snorted. "Oh my god, he's a dork."

"But um, if… if there's enough…"

"Of course," Roman assured. "There's plenty."

"I— okay. Yeah… yeah." Patton stood up and walked over to the bar, but hesitated at which stool to sit on. What if he accidentally sat on the one that Roman or Virgil usually sat on?

Virgil and Indigo came out of the kitchen with drinks just as Roman finished placing the bowls and silverware along the bar. Virgil sat on the far right stool with Roman to his left, and Indigo to the left of Roman. Leaving the far left stool open for Patton.

They'd almost finished eating when Virgil exclaimed, "Oh, wait! Y'all were supposed to tell us how you got here."

"Ah, yes. I'd forgotten as well. Patton, would you care to start?"

"Oh, um, sure! Let's see… So, I was walking through the woods and there was an archway made out of stone but instead of a door, it was filled with a blue light. I wasn't actually going to go through it, just gonna get a closer look, but it drew me closer and the next thing I knew I was in a field and it was afternoon! Oh, it was night when I was in the woods by the way. Um… oh! And then the portal disappeared behind me, and then I saw Indigo there looking at his flower, and he couldn't remember his name and— oh! I should let you tell this part."

"Thank you, Patton. Yes, as he said, I couldn't remember my name, or anything back beyond arriving there. I'd been there for quite some time staring at this flower." Indigo picked up his flower from where he'd set it by his bowl, before setting it back down. "But since the portal had disappeared, we decided to seek shelter. Patton saw the smoke from your chimney, so we headed in this direction, and I'm sure you can extrapolate the rest."

Roman blinked a few times. "...Huh. Well that's weird… anyway, does anyone want seconds?"

"Oh my God," Virgil said exasperatedly. "I— Roman."

…

After everyone had helped wash and put away dishes, Roman putting the leftovers away, they moved back into the living room, everyone just relaxing peacefully.

Patton couldn't remember a time he'd actually been allowed to eat his fill, let alone without having to do chores before eating. The perks of being a guest, Patton supposed.

Virgil leaned against Roman, who wrapped his arms around Virgil without hesitation, and Patton couldn't help but smile at them.

"Y'all are such good friends!" Patton noted.

"Uh, well…" Virgil's eyebrows knit together. "I mean, yes but actually no."

"You meme-r," Roman teased.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Shut."

"Ohhh, y'all are frenemies. I can kinda see that."

Roman tried to hide his snickering, and failed miserably.

"N— no. Like, the other way," Virgil said.

"Best friends?"

"Oh, geez."

Indigo adjusted his glasses. "I don't think that's what they mean, Patton."

"Like, you know, lovers?" Roman tried.

"Love… lovers?"

"Yeah." Virgil nodded. "We're partners."

"Wait, that's a thing? Like, you can do that?"

"Uh… yeah? Of course we can," Virgil said, voice borderline defensive.

"Oh wow! I didn't know people could do that. I mean like, so, two men can be together, just like a man and a woman can?"

"Yeah. We can. So can two women, or even more than two people."

"Wow! That's so cool!!"

Indigo sighed distastefully. "As I've said before, I would like to have words with your mother."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it, Patton."

"Oh… uh, okay."

"Well…" Virgil yawned. "I'm sure y'all are exhausted, especially from walking all that way. We have a guest room, but there's only one bed. Now it's a queen so if y'all don't mind sharing… but I suppose there's the loveseat if one of you'd rather."

"Ah, no need, we can share the bed. That'll be fine, thank you. Er, I mean, as long as that's alright with you, Patton?"

"Yeah! It'll be like a sleepover… I think."

"...Sure. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what sleepovers involve, but that sounds right."

"What! Neither of you have had a sleepover!!" Roman exclaimed more than he asked.

"Oh no, here we go. Roman, they need sleep."

"But they've never had a sleepover!"

Virgil fondly rolled his eyes before turning back to Indigo and Patton. "Hey, y'all wanna stay tomorrow night too?"

"Oh, I— I mean, if it's not too much trouble," Indigo said.

"Nah, it'll be easier. Like, it might take me a few days to figure something out for y'all, and this way y'all can sleep tonight, and really enjoy all the stuff Roman's no doubt already begun planning."

"You know me so well. We're gonna watch movies, and have snacks, and hot chocolate, and tell stories, and play board games, and truth or dare, and sleep on the floor with a bunch of pillows in the living room!"

"Oh, wow! That's a lot!" Patton couldn't help but deflate. "Oh, um, is… is it like, for everyone? It's okay if not! I just… if um, it…"

Oh, great. Everyone was frowning again. Why couldn't Patton just stop upsetting everyone?

"Patton," Indigo paused before sighing softly. "First of all, no one is upset with you—"

"You're not?" Patton winced. "Sorry for interrupting."

"It's alright. And no, we're not upset with you."

"Yeah, we're really not," Virgil assured. "Just a bit worried about you is all."

"Exactly. Not upset, just worried." Indigo adjusted his glasses. "Ah, that was first of all, so second of all, why do you assume that you might not be included in everyone? You're not lesser than us. So why would you count for less?"

"I don't… I don't know, I just feel like I do. Sorry. Plus, you all haven't had to… had to deal with just how badly I mess up. I'm actually quite lazy."

"Good for you. Rest and taking care of yourself is important."

"...What?"

Roman sighed softly. "I… I should've said this earlier but, I just want you to know that you're allowed to take up space. Especially here. Especially with us. Take up as much space as you want. I… I understand how hard it can be to feel like you can, but I assure you, you're allowed to take up space and just exist here, okay?"

"O— oh, I— okay. It…" Patton lifted his glasses and furiously wiped underneath his eyes before he whispered, "Thank you."

For several weeks now they'd been searching through Virgil's extensive library for any spell or potion that could bring Indigo's memories back.

Unfortunately, so far the closest thing they'd found was rosemary, but that was more to help with studying and memory retention, not for bringing all memories back.

Patton was starting to get tired of books. He'd always struggled with reading, but once the words started to swim, he really felt done. But he would endure. Indigo was counting on him!

Virgil had offered to take Patton back home on the third day of their stay, but he'd refused. He didn't want to leave yet… Well, really he didn't want to leave at all, but he wasn't about to say that and try to overstay his welcome.

And to be fair, he really did want to stay to make sure Indigo got his memories back, but… he was also staying for selfish reasons. He'd miss all of them.

They'd all gotten a lot closer in the short amount of time that they'd known each other, and Patton just wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to go home.

He hated it at home, and loved it here… but he was needed at home, and wasn't here. He wouldn't delude himself that anyone here would actually want him to be around long-term.

They liked him okay right now, but that would quickly wear out. He just made too many mistakes for anyone other than his mother to keep him around.

He was awful just for thinking like this. After everything his mother had done for him, he was still wanting more. He really was an ungrateful brat.

How was he this selfish? How did he always manage to be such a bad person?

Patton repressed a shiver.

Gosh, his mother was going to be so mad at him when he returned home.

"Aha!" Virgil exclaimed as he slammed a book down on the cottage's library table, making Patton jump half out of his mind. "I think I found something!"

"What?" Indigo asked, putting down the book he'd been looking through. "What is it?" He stood and went around the table to look over Virgil's shoulder.

Patton subtly took some deep breaths. No one was mad at him. He was fine.

Geez, he was always so jumpy.

"Okay, so it's a spell and…" Virgil paused. "Well, you know the phrase 'take a trip down memory lane' ?"

"Yes?"

"Well, it's a lot like that! We'll look at some of your most important memories, and the rest should come soon after. It may not… not be quite everything, or as good of like, quality, but it should be pretty close. About as close as we can get."

"I—" Indigo looked like he was trying, and failing to hold back a smile. "That is wonderful news! When… when could we cast it?"

"Hmm, so we don't quite have all the ingredients, but they're all easy to get…"

"That's good."

"Except…"

"Ah."

"Except the dragonskin."

"The what?" Patton asked, nose wrinkling. They couldn't just kill a dragon and steal it's skin!

"Okay, so you know snakeskins? Well, dragon's shed their skin similarly." Virgil went back to studying his book.

"Oh! Well, that's… that's much better than what I thought. Still sounds difficult though."

"Yeah, it probably will be hard…" Virgil said distractedly before turning to Roman. "Yo, Ro?"

"Yes, my lovely love?"

"You wanna go out to Smoky Mountain and get some from the Dragon Witch?"

"Mm! Yeah, can do. It's a good thing I sharpened my sword yesterday. I'm gonna need it."

"Hey, Pat? How do you feel about going on a quest with Roman?"

"Oh, uh… sure!"

"Great!"

Oh, gosh, he was going to have to face a dragon. A dragon witch even… however that worked. At least he'd have Roman with him.

Patton just hoped he wouldn't let Roman down. He'd never fought anything before, so he wasn't sure if he'd be able to hold his own, but he'd certainly try his best.

Virgil turned to Indigo. "You should come with me. You're going to love Dragonspark."

"Dragon spark?"

"Yeah, that's the town where you and I are gonna get the few herbs I don't have. We'll need to get gingko and a pansy." Virgil clapped his hands together, causing Patton to jump yet again. "Alright, I guess everyone get ready then. Oh, and Roman? Grab Patton a small weapon for just in case, he won't be used to your big swords."

"Way ahead of ya!"

...

"Okay, everyone have everything?" Virgil asked.

"Yep! ...Probably."

"Roman."

"I'm just messing with you. Of course I do."

Virgil took a deep breath. "Okay. Right… just like I always do." He dipped two fingers in a small bowl, the ends of his fingers now purple, and drew the outline of two doors on the wall.

They shimmered and filled the part where a door would go in with a solid colour, still outlined with purple. Grey on the left, and green on the right.

"The grey one leads to the mountain, and the green one to the town. If one team isn't back in three hours the other one can go after them."

Indigo frowned. "But what if neither team gets back?"

"Well… then I guess we have nothing to worry about."

"Virgil," Roman scolded.

"I… I really don't know. Let's hope that doesn't happen."

"Wow, your confidence is overwhelming."

"Thanks, Jan— oops, I mean Roman."

"Hey! Let's go Patton. Before he insults me any further." Roman playfully stuck his tongue out at Virgil.

Patton waved. "Bye, Virgil. Bye, Indigo. Stay safe!"

"Y'all too!"

"Have a safe journey."

Roman stepped through the portal, the grey surface of the portal shimmering as he went through.

Patton took one last look at Indigo, and waved before he followed after Roman.

...

The very steep trek up the mountain had not been easy on Patton's knees, and it was one of the few times that he was glad his mother had so strictly taught him not to complain. Even if he wasn't as fond of her teaching style.

Patton almost let out an audible sigh of relief when the opening of the cave they were looking for came into view, and clutched the messenger bag that Virgil had let him borrow a bit tighter.

They walked into the dark, open mouth of the cave, footsteps echoing around the large tunnel eerily. It was so big that Patton thought his mother's entire house could probably fit in it.

Patton felt, rather than heard the deep rhythmic rumbling, but as they walked further down and deeper into the cave system, he realised it sounded almost like… breathing?

What could even make such wall-shaking breaths like that? A giant? Oh, or maybe the dra—

They turned the corner, only to find themselves face to face with a very large, very angry looking dragon. Their glowing, orange eyes glared directly at Patton and Roman as torchlight glittered across their silver scales.

Their magnificent, bejewelled, loose S-shape horns were the same jagged black as their sharp claws, and smoke arose from their nostrils with every exhale.

Patton, all focus having previously been on the dragon, belatedly realised that the tunnel had opened up into an oversized cave. The floor was unnaturally smoove. Torches mounted on the wall lit up the entire room, and glinted off of the gold, silver and jewels that lay in heaps all around the cavern's edges. To one side was a giant pile of hay that had been flattened down in the middle, most likely where the dragon slept.

Strangely enough, the room was free from bones, and Patton decided to take that as the dragon didn't eat people, not as the dragon ate people... bones and all.

Roman spoke softly aside to Patton, "Don't engage with her. No matter what. Just step off to the side and let me handle this, okay?"

Patton nodded vigorously but wasn't even sure if Roman had seen it as he stared intensely at the dragon, so Patton whispered back, "Okay."

Patton stepped back and to the side as Roman stepped forward, unsheathing his sword and widening his feet to a fighting stance.

"Dragon Witch," Roman coldly greeted.

"Stupid foolish mortal that I can't be bothered to remember the name of."

Roman gasped offendly.

Oh, okay. The dragon could speak… that didn't exactly seem like a normal thing for a dragon to do. Although, Patton was by no means an expert on dragons. For all he knew maybe it was normal for them, or perhaps it wasn't and instead had something to do with the witch aspect of her name.

"You take that back!"

The dragon huffed and condescendingly said, "Why don't you come fight me then. Fight me, little boy. Fight me with your tiny toy sword."

Roman let out a guttural growl as he sprang forward, his sword clanging against her scales.

The Dragon Witch was… absolutely terrifying in Patton's opinion, but Roman had managed to hold his own so far, using his size and agility against the dragon's slowness.

The dragon swiped at Roman, who just barely dodged, his sword clinking off one of her claws, leaving them both unscathed but annoyed.

The dragon didn't even seem to be trying very hard, looking more like a cat playing with a toy than anything.

Roman on the other hand, was having a much harder time, only just dodging the dragon's attacks, his expression that of pure concentration. Even from this distance, Patton could see the sweat dripping down his face.

Roman had said not to interfere, no matter what, but Patton was finding it increasingly difficult to follow his command.

Sure he had no experience fighting whatsoever, but surely he could help! If he just— no, Roman had been very firm on him staying out of the way, and Patton was nothing if not good at obeying, even when he didn't want to.

Roman said something that Patton couldn't quite catch and the dragon roared, wings stretching out only to flit and fold back down when one wing whacked against the cavern ceiling.

More smoke poured out of her flaring nostrils as she swiped again, but Roman didn't quite jump to the side in time, her paw knocking him down and laying on his chest to pin him down.

Patton's heart sank as Roman's sword went clattering across the floor.

Patton needed to move! Where was the adrenaline that had begged him to move just a moment ago? He had a sword, he needed to save Roman, or at least try, but in order to do that he needed to move!

Roman struggled to try and push the dragon's paw off of him, but to no avail as his small arms were no match for just how massive it was.

Patton's legs still refused to cooperate, weighted down as if they were filled with concrete.

Why couldn't he just move!?

A small whimper left Patton's throat as tears began to well up in his eyes.

But just as she was about to chomp down on Roman's head, she instead threw her head back, her laughter echoing off of the walls as she shrunk down into a… human?

Although some of her dragon-esque features remained, giving away the fact that she wasn't wholly human.

Her eyes were still that unnatural shade of orange, and silver scales dotted her face, matching with her silver robes. Her now smaller horns stuck out through her blue and purple pointy hat, and her nails still very much looked like black claws, just now on a much smaller scale.

She held out a hand, which Roman took, and helped him up. "You have improved since we last fought," She said, sounding almost… proud?

Patton managed to take a deep breath, wiping the escaped tears away as he desperately tried to figure out what just happened.

"I still lost," Roman pouted.

"Yes, you did. But you still made it much farther than you usually do! And I can tell you're more confident and light-footed."

Roman smiled shyly. "Thanks. And you're, of course, just as Maleficent— I mean, magnificent as ever."

"Hah, as if you didn't 'slip up' on purpose."

"I— well, you can't prove anything!"

Patton hesitantly took a step forward. "Sorry to bother…" He tried not to wince at how weak he sounded. "But I was just kinda wondering what's going on?" He tried to keep the worry and desperation out of his voice, he really did! But it snook in anyway.

"Oh! Oh wait, I forgot to— oh no! You must've been so worried." Roman's brow was furrowed in genuine concern and sorrow. It was actually almost overwhelming to Patton just how upset Roman was by this. "I'm so sorry, Patton. I— oh shit, you're crying!"

"Ah, s— sorry." Patton messily scrubbed underneath his eyes, trying to will the tears to stop. "I guess it was just a bit too much. I— you don't worry about it though. 'M okay."

"No, Patton. That must've been really scary, and I'm so sorry that I forgot to tell you what was going on. I'll do better and make sure nothing like this ever happens again."

"I— oh. R— right, okay." Patton glanced over at the dragonish lady, noticing how she was awkwardly trying to pretend that she wasn't there.

"There's really nothing to worry about," Roman assured, most likely having assumed that Patton's glance was out of worry, instead of worry and curiosity.

Roman gestured to the dragonish lady. "This is Malcana." She hesitantly waved. "She's a dragon and a witch, so Virgil and I jokingly call her the Dragon Witch. But we know her really well as she's actually a good friend of ours."

"Oh, well… that's good!" Patton tried to smile but he was sure it came out shaky. At least the tears had finally stopped.

"I apologize for any grief or worry I may have caused you," Malcana said. "It's such a common thing for Roman and I that we didn't even stop to consider how it would seem to you."

Patton vaguely recalled reading somewhere that apologies were a big deal for dragons. They didn't often admit when they were wrong.

"Thanks, I… I really appreciate it. Um, that's to— to both of you, by the way."

Malcana smiled, which was slightly intimidating, but it was the thought that counted.

Roman clapped Patton's shoulder. "Of course, Patton. It's important for us to admit when we're wrong and focus on doing better."

"Oh… yeah, of course."

Malcana looked around and frowned. "Not that I don't enjoy standing around, but shall we move somewhere more comfortable? The living room, perhaps?"

"Yeah." Roman nodded. "That'd be nice. Thanks."

They walked back down the tunnel, turning off to the right, and then to the left into another cavern. It was smaller than the one for Malcana's dragon form, and looked like a cozy living room.

Further beyond was a slightly bigger than human sized hallway, which most likely led to a bathroom, bedroom, and maybe even a spell room/library like Virgil's house had.

Malcana sat in an armchair and gestured for Roman and Patton to sit down on the couch. Patton took off the borrowed messenger bag and put it in between him and Roman.

Malcana crossed her legs. "So, what did you come for?"

"Wh— hey!" Roman exclaimed. "Who says we came here for something?"

Malcana gave the most unimpressed of looks. "If you were just visiting, Virgil would be here."

"Hah, okay, you got me there. He's actually gathering some herbs for a spell right now and sent Patton and I to see if you have any dragonskin to spare."

"Yeah, I do. I suppose if I have to, I could give you a bit. What kind of spell is he using it for?"

"A memory revival spell. Our new friend, Indigo, has lost all of his memories, so we're trying to get them back. I'm not really sure how dragonskin plays into that, but I help where I can."

"Mm, well, since it's a memory spell, it probably calls for dragonskin because, for one, we're pretty wise, if I do say so myself, two, we have good long-term memory, and three, with dragon's natural magical properties… that really makes sense."

"Yeah, I really don't understand it either," Roman teased.

Malcana pursed her lips. "Well, I wouldn't expect someone of your intelligence, or lack thereof, to understand the complicity and nuances of magic."

"Hey!"

"Anyway!" Malcana stood up. "I'm going to go get the dragonskin."

"No! You just insulted me, come back here!"

"Oh? I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you wanted it, but if you'd rather I come over there and kick your butt at a rap battle like last time, then I most certainly can."

"Wait, noo."

Malcana laughed. "Okay, that's what I thought," She called as she disappeared down the beyond hallway.

"Hey," Roman said, looking over at Patton. "Just so you know, you can insert yourself into the conversation at any time. We're super chill usually, and you're more than welcome to add whatever you'd like."

"Oh, uh, thanks. I guess I just usually don't have a lot to say. Sorry."

"No! It's alright. I just meant if you did have anything, you can say it. You're pretty quiet and I wanna make sure that you know that you're always allowed to take up space."

"Oh, gosh, you're so sweet, Roman! Thanks. It really means a lot, and I'm… I think I'm getting there."

"You are! You've come a long way and I'm really proud of you!"

Patton felt his cheeks warm, but didn't get a chance to reply as Malcana came back, holding a small jar filled with a long coil of faintly glowing, clearish silver dragonskin.

"Here you go then, shed it myself." She handed the jar to Roman and he put it in the messenger bag.

"Wow, that was fast!"

"Thank you," Patton said. "We really appreciate it!"

"Oh, you're welcome." Malcana smiled and Patton tried his best not to feel like prey.

"Yes, thank you! Virgil will be absolutely delighted." Roman stood up, clapping once. "Well, as much as we'd love to stay and chat, we really should be off."

Patton stood up as well, grabbing and putting on the messenger bag as he did so.

"Are you sure you can't stay for Twister?" Malcana asked as they walked.

Roman snorted. "Knowing you, that would probably involve an actual tornado."

"But of course! After all, it wouldn't be half as interesting without at least one."

"As tempting as that is… I'm afraid we're gonna have to pass this time. As I said earlier, Virgil's trying to do a spell, and will probably send out a search party if we don't get back soon."

"Ah, well, give him my regards, and I hope y'all have a very productive casting." Malcana stopped when they got to the main tunnel. "Now go away, you bother me."

"Alright, alright. We're going."

"Don't forget to visit again soon, and maybe even not just when you need something."

"Hah, yeah. Fair enough." Roman waved. "See you later, Malcana."

Patton waved as well. "Goodbye, Ma'am!"

"Goodbye strange but endearing human!"

When Patton and Roman returned, the portal closing behind them, Virgil and Indigo were already back, Virgil gathering the last few supplies needed for the memory spell.

"Well, we're back!" Roman proclaimed.

Virgil's face lit up. "Hey! How'd it go?"

Patton didn't catch Roman's response as Indigo pulled Patton to the side, his arm burning where Indigo touched him, even after Indigo let go.

Indigo adjusted his glasses. "I'm glad to see your safe return."

"Me too," Patton muttered.

"Oh?" Indigo tilted his head to the side. "Did something happen?"

"Oh, I— sorry, don't worry about it. It was just a misunderstanding. It's… it's fine."

"It is very clearly 'not fine'," Indigo said, putting the last two words in air quotes. "You don't have to tell me if you don't wish to, but you are visibly shaken, and I want to make sure that you're okay."

"Oh… well, it— just, apparently Roman knows the dragon we went to get the dragonskin from, and they have like, play fights? And just forgot to tell me and then it… it got a bit intense looking and I— I was a bit worried. That's all."

"Oh, Newton, that sounds terrifying! No wonder you look shaken up."

"I… really? You don't think I'm just overreacting?"

"Oh, no, not at all! If anything, I'm a bit surprised you aren't reacting more."

"Oh, well, I guess I just try not to bother other people too much… but like I said, I really am fine though."

"And that's concerning in and of itself. You're allowed to tell us about your emotions, especially if they're messy or negative ones. And as for the assurance that you're fine, you know you don't have to be, right? If you're not fine, you can tell us… you can tell me."

"Well, I… you sure?"

"Of course. I wouldn't be offering otherwise." The gentle concern and burning determination on Indigo's face almost left Patton breathless.

"I… I guess it did scare me a lot more than I pretend. I know everything's fine now, but— but if he'd gotten hurt… and I just stood there. I mean, he told me to, probably because he's friends with the dragon —Malcana is her name, by the way— and knew that it was just pretend, and of course, he didn't want me to get in the way and he wasn't really ever in any danger. But I still… if that had been real, if she actually was attacking him for real… it— whatever happened would've been my fault."

Indigo wrapped Patton's hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. "No. It wouldn't have been your fault, Patton. Even if he hadn't told you to wait there, it still wouldn't have been your fault. It's very hard to control what reaction you have. You froze and it's alright. It's a very normal reaction to have towards something scary or stressful."

"It is?"

"Yes. Most people have heard of fight or flight, but the lesser known fawn and freeze are also normal and valid reactions. You did what you could and that's enough." Indigo squeezed Patton's hand again. "You're always enough, Patton."

"Oh, geez. I— I really needed to hear that. I… thank you, Indigo."

Indigo smiled softly and carefully wiped away a tear that rolled down Patton's cheek. "Of course."

Virgil cleared his throat to get Patton and Indigo's attention. "Y'all ready to do this?"

"Ready if you are!" Patton exclaimed, letting go of Indigo's hand, and trying to cover up how much Virgil clearing his throat had startled Patton.

"Yes." Indigo adjusted his glasses. "I am a bit anxious, but ready to start whenever you are."

"Alrighty then," Virgil said. "I'd— I'd tell you not to be anxious but then I'd be a hypocrite. It'll be okay though. Roman and I will make sure of it."

"Quite right! You have nothing to fear, our dear nerd."

They stood next to the table where some of the herbs had already been laid out. Virgil set a small vial filled with a glowing, pale neon green liquid next to the copper spell bowl.

"What's in the vial?" Indigo asked.

"That's the spell activator slash base."

"Activator slash base?"

"Okay so, some people call it a spell activator, and some people call it a spell base. There's a little bit of debate in the witch community about which term to call it, but I just use both terms, because like, it really just depends on the spell. For example, some spells you add it at the end, so it's more of an activator. But with some spells, you add everything to it so it's really more of a base. You know?"

"Ah, I see. That makes sense. Which way will it be used for this spell?"

"Activator."

"Do we have everything?" Roman asked.

"We should! Let's see, we have the activator, we have the dragonskin, the rosemary, gingko, one indigo pansy, a bit of goldenrod… okay, technically it didn't exactly say that the pansy had to be indigo, but it seemed fitting."

Patton giggled. "Like his name."

"Exactly!" Virgil pulled out a rather large mortar and pestle. "Oh, hey, Roman?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna start crushing these herbs? I feel the need to read the instructions like, twelve more times."

"Alright, Hocus Pocus. Can do!"

After Roman had ground up all the herbs —except for the pansy— and Virgil decided that he'd read over the passage enough times, they began.

Virgil tipped the crushed herbs into the copper bowl and added the dragonskin. "Everyone ready?"

After everyone gave their consent, Virgil carefully poured the activator over the ingredients, causing them to begin to dissolve. He gently set the one indigo pansy on top of the mixture, which dissolved instantly, and made sure not to touch the chunky liquid.

"Okay," Virgil muttered to himself. "Here we go."

Virgil's eyes glowed a vibrant, magical purple as he concentrated on the bowl, causing the mix of ingredients to glow a similar shade as it fully mixed and became a smooth liquid. "Okay, Indigo, dip your hand in the bowl, and throw the liquid that clings to your hand out into the room."

"Alright." The moment Indigo touched the liquid, it turned from Virgil's purple to a glowing indigo. Indigo flung his hand out, the liquid flying out like gravity-defying water drops.

Virgil's eyes faded as the indigo water drops sparkled, shifting into little diamond-shaped sparks.

Patton had kind of expected there to be more of them, but there weren't even quite a dozen.

Indigo's eyes widened in wonder. "Are those…"

Virgil smiled. "Your memories? Yes, they are."

Indigo reached out his left hand, but stopped just before touching it.

"It's okay. You can touch it. You won't get sucked into the memory unless I'm there to like, guide you into it."

Indigo carefully plucked it out of the air, a small laugh bubbling out of his throat. "Oh! It's so warm!"

"Well, it must be a good one then. Everyone ready?" Everyone nodded. "Alright." Virgil set his hand on Indigo's left shoulder. "Roman, Patton, grab on."

Roman held Virgil's left hand, and Patton hesitantly slotted his hand into Indigo's right. Indigo gave it a comforting squeeze.

Patton's stomach dropped as he blinked. The muffled and slightly delayed sound of people chattering filling his ears.

Everyone pulled apart, Patton a bit more reluctantly, as they took in their surroundings.

They weren't in the cottage library anymore, instead they were in a small coffee shop.

Drinks poured themselves, and the art on the wall actually moved, but the strangest thing about the place was the odd brownish haze that overlayed everything, and was so thick on one side of the building that Patton couldn't make anything out at all.

But Patton supposed that made sense, he couldn't remember whole rooms in perfect detail all the time either.

"So, does this place seem familiar?" Virgil asked.

"Um… a bit. I— yes, it does. It just took me a minute to…"

That's alright," Roman assured. "We certainly don't expect you to recognize and remember everything right away."

Patton looked around the shop and spotted a gap in the haze, the gap almost looking sunny in comparison to the dullness of its surroundings.

In the middle of the sunny gap, memory Indigo sat at a table with two other people on the other side of the shop. He could only make out the back of the other people's heads, one having shortish wavy brown hair, and the other wearing a black bowler hat.

As they approached, the other two's faces came into view. The person who wore the hat had green scales of half of his face, with the eye on that side being a bright yellow, his other eye brown.

"A dragon," Patton murmured.

"This will most likely take some time and…" Roman paused as he looked at who else was sitting with memory Indigo. "Wait, Remus?"

Patton looked at the other man sitting there and almost startled because of just how much like Roman the man looked. The only obvious differences being that the man had green eyeshadow, a moustache, and a bit of silver in his hair.

"R— Remus…" Indigo blinked a few times. "Yes. That name does sound familiar."

"Wow, small world," Virgil said. "You knew Janus and Remus too."

"And Janus is… Remus' partner?"

"Yeah! See, it's coming back to you."

"What are they saying?" Roman asked.

"Well," Virgil lightly hissed. "Maybe if you shushed, we'd know."

"Hey!" But despite Roman's protest, he quietened down.

"I would just like to say," Memory Indigo was saying. "That I really appreciate you two allowing me to come with you. I know I am often quite boring, but every…" Memory Indigo blinked a few times. Was he fighting back tears? "Apologies. As I was saying, everytime you continue to invite me to 'hangout'—"

Roman frowned. "Did you just put air quotes around the word 'hangout'?"

"Shhh!" Virgil hissed.

"You shhh!"

"Oh my gosh, kiddos please."

"Aww," Roman's look alike, Remus said. "You know we love hanging out with you, Lo."

Janus patted memory Indigo's (Lo's?) hand, which was resting on the table. "Quite right. And we're definitely going to get tired of you, you know that."

"Yeah, we ain't leavin' you."

"Thank you. I… this means a lot to me."

"Huh." Virgil sighed. "Shit."

"What?" Patton asked.

"I must've done the spell wrong. I was trying to find important memories. Sorry, Indigo. Let's go and find a good on—"

"No!" Indigo pulled the spark close to his chest, all but cradling it. "Er, I mean… we… we could stay a bit longer… if that's alright."

"It— well, yeah. Of course we can stay. These are your memories. I'm just the guide. But I just thought you might wanna look at a more interesting or important memory. That's all."

Indigo forlornly looked down at the spark in his hands. "Is… is this not a good enough memory?"

"No! That's not what I meant. It just seemed to be a typical 'comforting your anxieties' memory."

"Yeah," Roman agreed. "We just want to make sure you get to see all the important stuff in your life."

Indigo did the same abnormal blinking pattern that memory Indigo had done a bit prior. "Well, it may just seem like an insignificant memory to you, but it meant everything to me! I always felt like I was the metaphorical third wheel, and they assured me that I wasn't, and I was able to finally begin to believe them. It was the first time anyone had called me friend and meant it."

"Oh… oh shit," Virgil said. "I'm so sorry, Indigo. I should've realised it was important. I literally have anxiety, so I really should've understood how much being assured that we're wanted can be."

Roman ran his fingers through his hair. "And I'm sorry too. I was insensitive and wasn't paying enough attention to how important this memory clearly is to you."

"Ah, I—" A few tears ran down Indigo's face. "Thank you."

"Sorry if this sounds rude, but… do I need to apologise too?" Patton asked.

Indigo choked out a laugh as he wiped at his cheeks. "No, you're good, Patton. You haven't done anything."

"Okay, just checking."

"And I appreciate it."

They paused for a moment as Indigo composited himself, his tears finally stopping.

"You know—" Roman snorted, cutting himself off. "I still can't believe you know my brother. Like, what a small world."

"Right!" Virgil agreed. "And then, of course, by knowing Remus, you know Malcana's brother, Janus."

"Wait, Janus is Malcana's brother?" Patton asked.

"Yeah, Roman and Malcana introduced their siblings to each other, and had to help them get together later when they were being stubborn about their feelings. I'm actually a bit surprised that we never met Indigo."

"They'd offered…" Indigo said it so softly that Patton wasn't sure if he meant to say it out at all, or was even aware that he knew that in the first place. "I had declined, at least for a bit. I was too nervous to meet new people. New people usually aren't… the most kind or understanding in my experience. But I'm… I'm so glad you all have been so caring, and really it's good we met this way. I got to meet Patton after all."

"Aww, I'm really glad to have met all of you too," Patton said, and was slightly taken aback by just how much he meant it.

Indigo lowered his voice, almost murmuring, "I'm… I think I'm ready to go now."

"Alright, everyone hold on then." Virgil put his hand on Indigo's shoulder and held Roman's hand with his other one.

Patton held Indigo's other hand and couldn't help but wonder if it was the last time he'd ever touch Indigo.

Patton closed his eyes, his stomach doing a flip, and when he opened his eyes again, they were back in the cottage's library, indigo sparks still floating about.

Patton had to stomp down the whine that threatened to leave his throat when Indigo let go of Patton's hand.

The spark Indigo held seemed a bit heavier and dimmer now.

"Here, you can put the ones we've seen in this box," Virgil said, holding out a cardboard box.

"Ah, thank you." Indigo carefully set it in the box, and Patton half expected it to float away, but it didn't.

Virgil set the box on the table. "So which one next?"

"How about…" Indigo plucked another spark out of the air. "This one?"

Roman smiled. "Good choice!"

"Everyone ready?" Virgil asked.

"Oof, actually, I'm really sorry, Indigo, but... my head hurts. Yeah. So I'm gonna go— go rest. But I hope your memory looking goes well!"

Indigo almost looked disappointed. "Are you sure? We can wait to finish later, if you'd like."

"No, that's alright! You can tell me all about it later, okay?"

"...Well, alright. If you're sure."

"I am. See you later!"

"Feel better soon!" Roman exclaimed.

"If your head still hurts when we get back, I can make you some tea to help it," Virgil called as Patton walked out of the library.

"Okay, thanks!"

Patton wasn't going to mention that it was actually his heart that was in pain. That his emotional heart was aching because he'd have to leave soon.

He felt bad for lying to them, but he just needed to take a bit to himself. Plus, he'd already spent a lot of time with them today, he didn't want to make them tired of him, or think he was a burden.

Maybe if he was good, they would forget that he was supposed to go home after Indigo got his memories back, even if just for a few days.

But Patton knew it was all about to end, and he just wasn't ready for it to.

The last few… however long it'd been, had been a blur of crying, sleeping, and occasional numbness.

God, he'd gotten too comfortable here, what had he been thinking? Of course they wouldn't want him here. He wasn't wanted. No one had ever wanted him, and no one ever would. He couldn't believe that for a second, just a brief second, he'd actually thought that they might actually want him.

But no. Why would they? Sure, they said that he didn't have to be useful, but if he wasn't useful and helpful then he'd just be a burden, and no one liked burdens.

Even his own mother didn't want him, and had only taken him in after Patton's father's death out of social obligation. Of course, Patton did everything he could to try and pay back the debt he owed. Having to house a teenager —and later an adult— wasn't easy, but he'd still done his best to help with anything that he could.

He'd hoped he could do something similar here with Indigo, Roman, and Virgil, but his time was quickly running out, if it hadn't already.

No matter how hard he thought about it, he just couldn't find a good long-term solution. If he went home, his mother would be… upset, and Patton would be distraught at losing his new friends, but then he wouldn't be bothering them anymore. They'd have no chance to get frustrated and annoyed with him if he left before they truly could. Although maybe he already had annoyed them and—

But if he stayed, then his mother would… be all alone, and he'd eventually, and perhaps rather soon, wear his welcome out and make them hate him. And then where would, where could he go.

Then he'd really be stuck between a rock and a hard place. But maybe if he was good, like really really good, like did all the chores and didn't mess up… ugh, but Patton always managed to mess up.

But then again, he'd messed up plenty these past few weeks, and all they did was gently correct and or reassure him. So maybe it would be as hopeless as he thought.

Oh, but he couldn't just invite himself to stay, and besides, after all his mother has done for him… dang, that just left him right back where he started.

He just wanted to stay, to have a family— no, that wasn't fair to his Mother. What kind of son even thought like that? An ungrateful one, his mother's voice echoed in his mind.

His body stiffened and breath trembled at just the thought of having to face his mother and explain where he'd been this whole time.

Tears pricked at his eyes yet again. He was just so tired. Tired of crying, of messing up… of being hurt. Just… tired.

Patton sniffed miserably as he let the tears cascade down his cheeks.

What even was the point of anything? He couldn't even do anything right—

Patton's thoughts were interrupted by someone softly knocking on the door.

Patton cleared his throat and wiped his eyes, trying to make it look like he hadn't been on and off sobbing, but he couldn't bring himself to even sit up. God, he was so lazy.

"Y— yeah? Uh, come in?"

Indigo gently opened the door. "Greetings, we looked at all the memories there and I wanted to check on you to make sure you're oka—" Indigo finally looked at Patton, or more accurately, where Patton was buried under the covers. "Ah, is your headache still bothering you?"

Patton peeked his eyes up above the blanket and looked at Indigo owlishly. "Uh… yeah?" Patton winced at just how very much like a lie his answer sounded like.

"I— have you been crying? It's alright if you have. I was, um… Can you tell me what's wrong, Patton?"

Patton looked up, trying to will the tears to not fall. "I'm just… just gonna miss everyone, that's all."

"Miss us— oh, right. You're leaving." Indigo said it so as a matter of fact that all Patton could do was try and keep himself from uncontrollably sobbing.

"I— ye— yeah."

Indigo frowned. "Will… will you not be visiting us?"

"Well…"

"O— oh. I…" Indigo turned away. "Apologies, I seem to have a problem—" He sniffed, "—Regulating my emotions at the moment."

"What do you— oh!" Patton hurried to sit up and firmly clutched the sweater paws of his hoodie to ground himself. "Oh, Indigo, you're crying. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry! What did I do?"

"No, you haven't done anything! I just— will miss you too."

"Wait, really?" Patton leaned back against the headboard and crossed his legs underneath himself. "You'll miss me?"

Indigo shakily nodded. "Of course I will. You're my friend, are you not?"

"I— we're friends?" Patton couldn't help the hope that nagged at his heart.

"Er, I thought so. Apologies if I misunderstood, I just thought that…"

"No! I'd love to be your friend! I just didn't… I didn't know you wanted to be too."

"So… so wait, you're not avoiding visiting because of me? Because if you are I can leave when you're going to come ov—"

"What!? No! Why would I not want to see you? You're my friend. You're all my friends, if they want to be that is. I… I don't want to not visit. I just… don't think it's very realistic."

"...Realistic?"

"Yeah. Well, you see, my mother has never really approved of me leaving for no good reason, or getting too close to anyone. I tend to dilly dally and annoy people without realising it."

"I— oh."

"Sorry."

"No! I just… don't think that's actually why she said that, is all."

"Why else would she have said that then?"

"I don't know for sure, of course, but I believe that she didn't have your best interest at heart."

"But she… she had to be tougher on me. I'm really bad at learning my lesson. Like I said, I'm always bothering people."

Indigo hummed disapprovingly. "So you take a bit longer. That just means you take time to enjoy things. And believe me, you really don't annoy people, at least none of us here. Even if you had annoyed someone in town, that's their problem, not yours. I know for a fact that I have never once been annoyed with you."

"Oh… really? I mean, it's okay if you have! I just—"

"Really, I have never been annoyed with you."

"Not yet, anyway."

"Hmm, I think it's true that people, especially people you're close to, can frustrate you, but I truly don't think you could ever annoy me. Who told you that you're annoying?"

"...My mother." Patton winced at the loud sigh Indigo all but huffed.

"I think we've rather established that she's not a good source of judgement."

"But… if I didn't go back… I— where would I even go!?" Patton said, voice full of desperation before he softened it, all but pleading, "I don't have anywhere else."

Indigo's eyes widened. "Ah, actually, I talked to Roman and Virgil, and they're offering to let us live here. I'm… I'm going to take it. Now that I know where I live, I can cancel my lease, and move here. They're going to help me decorate the guest room tomorrow so it'll be mine, and maybe add on another room… depending on if you still want to stay here."

"And you're sure they actually wouldn't mind if I did live here? Like, they didn't just extend the offer to me because they felt like they had to?"

"I'm quite sure that they wouldn't mind, if anything they would love it if you officially moved in. We've all been quite dreading your leaving."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes, and with your… home life situation being what it is, but especially because we'll miss you. You're our friend. We want you to stay. We want you."

Patton's mind blanked and he quickly scrambled to try and think of something, anything to say so he wouldn't just burst into tears, which would, no doubt, make Indigo rethink his position.

Patton blinked a bit quicker than usual and tried to think of a reason why it wouldn't work out. "But… but how will she get around without me?"

"That's not your concern."

"But it is! She's done so much for me. I can't just abandon her!"

"You're not responsible for her, Patton. She is a grown adult that is more than able to take care of herself. Sometimes people stay with their parents a bit after they're grown, during hardship, or near the end of their parents life, but this is more than just that, isn't it? You feel like you need to stay, even though she's… not very kind to you, correct?"

"Well… she has to be tougher on me…" But he didn't sound very certain, it was rather difficult to argue a point that he didn't even believe in anymore.

"No, Patton. She really doesn't. There's no excuse for a parent to be that mean to their child. Ever."

"But… she… she needs me?" He hadn't meant for it to, but it came out like a question.

This was what he so desperately wanted, for someone to want him so bad that they'd fight for him. That they'd try and help Patton understand just why and how they wanted him. So why did he feel the need to try and break it apart? Why was he trying to sabotage himself?

"She—" Patton continued. "She needs me though… right?"

"I hate to say this, but… does she? Does she need you? Or do you need to feel needed?"

"Oh… but— I… Oh." Patton could feel the tears well up in his eyes, and for once, he didn't care.

Indigo gently sat down on the bed next to Patton, who scooted over to give Indigo a bit more room.

Indigo reached a hand out as if to put it on Patton's shoulder but stopped, and before Patton could think anything too self-deprecating, Indigo asked, "May I touch you?"

"Oh, I— yeah. If you want to! You don't have to if you don't want to though."

"I do want to, and merely asked so I would know if you wanted me to."

"Oh, yeah, I… I'd like that. Maybe just…"

"Not too much?"

"Oh, yeah. How'd you…?"

"I'm the same way, and quickly noticed that you also seemed to get overwhelmed with physical contact easily."

Patton sniffed and stiffened at the sound. Right, he'd been crying, yet again.

But Indigo didn't seem fazed in the slightest, just cupping Patton's face with his hands and carefully wiping away Patton's tears with his thumbs.

" 'M sorry," Patton muttered and, despite his words, nuzzled into Indigo's large, warm hands.

"What ever for?"

"Making you have to be here while 'm crying."

"You're not making me be here, I'm here because I want to be. And being here for you while you're crying is not a chore. It's not a burden. You're not a burden. I am choosing to be here and be here for you, so therefore you can't be a burden, because a burden is a heavy thing that's just thrust upon a person. Not a bit of weight that I'm choosing to help you with."

"Oh, I— I didn't know that."

"And that's alright. I'm more than happy to comfort you through words, and, for future reference, even if I've said them before."

"Hmm, maybe then… instead of 'sorry', I should be saying 'thank you'."

The soft smile Indigo gave Patton made his cheek warm and he couldn't help but give a small smile of his own.

"I think that is a much better plan. Actually, the more I think about it, the more it sounds like a very good idea. Instead of apologising when you've done nothing wrong, you can thank the people around you for being there. Brilliant! Did you hear of that somewhere?"

"Oh, um, no. I just like, thought of it just now."

"That's amazing!"

"I— it is?"

"Yes, it quite is."

"Oh… sorry, I guess I'm still not quite used to being prais—"

Indigo raised an eyebrow.

"Er, I mean, thank you. I'm glad you think it's a good idea."

"Good! Like that. Doesn't it feel better? Like a better way to look at the world?"

"Yeah, I think I'm starting to get what you mean. So, let's see, I was going to apologise for being a burden, so instead I should say… thank you for being here."

"Good job! And you're welcome. Thank you for letting me help you."

"Oh! Um, you're welcome?"

Indigo huffed a laugh. "Yes, 'you're welcome' often follows 'thank you'," he teased.

"Just—" Patton tried to stifle a yawn. "Just checking~" Patton yawned, making the last word sound breathy.

Indigo quietly chuckled. "Well, perhaps we should take a small nap before supper then."

"I don't know, it's kinda late, and besides, maybe we should go help with supper."

"Roman put on a roast earlier, and yes, we'll probably eat a bit later but he said it wouldn't be ready for a bit. We have time for a little nap, and you clearly need it. It might offset your circadian rhythm a bit, but I think if you stay up a bit late and perhaps get up a bit late, then you'll be fine."

"Would… um, ar— will you stay?"

Indigo smiled again —Patton had noticed that he seemed to be doing that a lot more lately— and hummed softly. "Of course, I'll stay. As long as you wish for me to stay, then I'll be there for you."

Patton wasn't exactly sure what to say to that, so he didn't, and instead just tried to show his appreciation through his expression.

Indigo took off Patton's and his own glasses, putting them both on the nightstand before he settled down under the covers, and held onto one of Patton's hands.

"I really am glad you're here," Patton confessed, voice small but still heard due to their proximity. "And… and thanks for helping me realise that it was okay to stay. I really didn't want to leave you guys. You're like, my f— really important to me, you know?"

"Yes, I do know. I feel the same way about all of you as well." Indigo brushed a lock of hair that'd fallen into Patton's eyes back, making Patton tiredly smile.

Patton was going to reply but was interrupted by a wide yawn.

Indigo huffed amusedly. "Perhaps you should try and take that nap now."

"Heh, yeah. I did sleep some earlier, but I'm still tired."

Indigo hummed softly. "Yes, crying will do that, but rest easy. You're not going to have to leave when you awake, and we'll all be here in this cottage when you wake up."

Patton sleepily hummed, eyes falling closed as he let his limbs grow heavy, and mind go blank.

And as he drifted off to sleep, he could've sworn he heard Indigo whisper, "Sleep well, my dear." But Patton was far too gone to reply or even fully process it.

…

After Indigo and Patton's nap, they ate their rather late supper with Roman and Virgil. Roman really out did himself, the roast was the best one that Patton had ever had.

Patton still felt a bit tired, but so much lighter, talking to Indigo about Patton getting to stay really helped. And while he still felt guilty about leaving his Mother, he also knew that he couldn't have stayed there much longer, even just for his mental health.

He'd always, rather selfishly, fantasised about leaving, but to have actually done it… it was as freeing as it was terrifying.

After the dishes were washed and dried, they all sat in the living room, bellies full, for their usual after supper chatter.

"Oh, hey," Virgil said, turning to Indigo. "Remus and Janus are coming over tomorrow, by the way."

Indigo instantly perked up. "Really? Oh, that's wonderful! I look forward to it."

"Glad to hear! They've been rather worried. You've been missing for nearly an entire month."

Indigo winced. "Ah, so I have. Hmm, although, now that I'm thinking about it, why haven't they come by before? I mean, of course they wouldn't know that I'm here, but you think in the several weeks I've been here, Remus would want to visit his brother at least once."

"Oh, I've actually seen him three times since your arrival. Janus has been super busy lately, but I met Remus once in Dragon's Park, once in The Rosé café, and once here at home. You didn't see him where he came here because I believe Virgil had taken you and Patton out that day. Also, I guess none of the times you being missing slash appearing just didn't come u— no wait! It did. Oh my gods, I didn't even connect that."

"Really? What did he say about me?"

"That they really missed you, but weren't even sure if you were actually, actually missing, or just went off on an impromptu adventure without telling them again. I offered to help them but Janus had done a danger checking spell, and it said you were as safe as can be."

"Ah, and that was after I had arrived here?"

"Yeah."

"So that would make sense that it'd deem me safe then. What happened after that?"

"Well, since you were safe and you've disappear for a few weeks without warning before, they denied my offer, but said they'd call me if it changed or if it'd been much longer than usual."

"Ah, I see. Well, I'm glad they're coming over tomorrow. I certainly need to apologize for causing them undue distress, and it'll be nice to see them again."

"I'm sure they'll forgive you. They really care about you, ya know?" Virgil asked. "We all do. And besides, it's not your fault. You didn't mean to just disappear for several weeks."

"Well, this time at least."

"Did you really disappear for several weeks without telling them before?" Patton asked in awe.

"On at least two different occasions. I may be inept at magic, but magical objects… and really just magic in general, are attracted to me. I'm not really sure why, but things that whisk me away to the unknown just pop up every so often."

"Well, it worked out this time," Virgil said, "But I'd recommend against stepping into random portals in the future."

"I think I'd have to agree with you on that."

"...Oh, hey." Patton turned to Indigo. "Did you ever figure out what your name is?"

"Well, technically it's Logan, but Indigo as a nickname from close friends would— is…" Indigo adjusted his glasses. "Yes."

Patton couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face. "Okay then, Indigo. It's… I'm very glad we met."

Indigo's smile softened. "And I'm very glad to have met you too." Indigo looked to Roman and Virgil. "All of you."

"Hear hear!" Roman cheered.

"I'm glad we met too!" Virgil said, giving everyone a lopsided smile. "Y'all are pretty damn awesome."

Roman nodded in agreement. "And we wouldn't have you two any other way."

Patton had changed and learned a lot since coming to live here. And by no stretch of the imagination were things perfect, they certainly still had a long way to go, but they were getting there, and they'd get there together.

Patton had found the one thing he'd always wanted, a small community of like-minded —but different in their own unique ways— people.

He'd wanted to be loved and wanted longer than he'd known how to say, and here, amid bright smiles, joyous laugher, and gentle conversation, he'd found that. But not only was he loved and wanted here, but he'd also found people that he loved and wanted.

He didn't have to be alone anymore, and it might take a while, he might even still forget sometimes, but he was actually starting to believe that he meant as much to them as they did to him.

They didn't just want him for what he could do for them. They wanted him around because they liked him, and it really was as simple as that.

He actually felt like belonged there, and he knew that there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

And so, as he was surrounded by his friends, his family, Patton was finally… finally home, and that… well, that was more than enough.

~The End~

No reposting, likes are nice and reblogs are very much appreciated! | Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @someoneiwasnt

#sanders sides #sanders sides fics #my fics #ts logan #tss logan #ts patton #tss patton #ts virgil #tss virgil #ts roman #tss roman #Dragon Witch #the dragon witch #pre romantic logicality #platonic logicality #can be read either way #established prinxiety #dukeceit mentioned

25 notes · View notes