#thewinterphantom

[winterphantom]

Sanctuary (Request)

Request: hi! can you please write a fic where Bucky stumbles upon a girl who’s been experimented on (like eleven from stranger things) and he feels inclined to protect her? thanks

Read HERE on Ao3!

A/N: I’m so sorry this took as long as it did, but I hope it was worth it! I actually haven't seen Stranger Things (I know okay I'm sorry) so I relied on the internet and my best friend to help put me on the right track. I used what I learned for inspiration for reader’s powers but they’re definitely a bit different. I hope it’s okay anyways! Enjoy! (Also... anyone want a part 2 for this maybe? Let me know!)

Warnings: Implied/Referenced past torture and/or experimentation (not graphically described)

-

You wake to the sound of crashing and yelling.

You bolt upright in your small bed in the corner of the cell, still enveloped by darkness. Without being able to see the commotion, you have no idea what’s going on. And you’re trapped in your cell with nowhere to go.

You wait, listening as closely as you can, for a time that could be seconds, minutes, or hours – you can’t tell anymore. Finally, the noise dies down. There’s nothing left but agonizing silence. You pull the blanket up closer to your face and shrink back further into the corner.

Something heavy hits the door. You jump. Someone’s yelling something, and it’s a voice you don’t recognize. You can’t pick out the words through the door and the pounding in your head.

The banging gets louder. The door crashes to the floor, ripped from its hinges by whatever’s on the other side. You concentrate, and the lights in the room flicker on so that you can see.

The figure steps into the cell. It’s a man. He’s tall, wearing some kind of gear, different from anything you’ve ever seen before. It’s dark, but something at his side is reflecting the harsh light – glinting. Does he have… a metal arm?

Your eyes travel back up to his face. The bottom half is covered with some kind of mask, and his dark hair falls messily, framing it. You lock eyes; his are bright and blue. You almost scream, but your voice falters and it dies in your throat.

He mutters something, but not to you.

“Uh oh… Steve, you better get over here,” you hear him say. His eyes never leave your cowering form.

In a panic, you reach out with your mind, grasping the broken door. You fling it towards him.

He’s quick. His eyes go wide, breaking from your own. He raises the glinting arm… catching the door with one hand. You weren’t expecting that.

The door clatters to the floor. You feel fear coursing through your veins, and you struggle to think of your next move. What did he want?

“Hey,” he starts, this time directing the words to you. He rips the mask from his face with one hand, before raising them both. He looks nothing like the scientists you were used to.

“I’m not going to hurt you, okay?” His voice is soft, soothing. You like the sound, but you don’t trust him.

Stay back, you say, only you don’t say it out loud. You project it to him mentally, and judging by his reaction, he hears you. His eyes narrow and his head tilts ever so slightly.

“Did you just-”

Please, I-I mean it. Stay away. You raise a hand in defense, using it to channel your abilities, picking up the door again, hovering it just over the ground.

He glances towards it, still visibly perplexed, then back to you.

“I’m here to help you,” he affirms gently. You swallow, and he takes a tentative step forward. You start to raise the door again. He stumbles away from it, and starts speaking again before you can throw it at him.

“Wait! Please. I want to get you out of here. Let me help you,” he pleads. You pause, letting the door fall back down.

Help? Why? You flinch when he steps towards you again.

He studies you with his intense gaze for a moment.

“These people… I know what it must have been like. What they must have put you through. I-” his voice breaks, “I’ve been there too.”

He swallows. You hold his stare, and you don’t sense any kind of deception in him.

You can really get me out of here?

For a moment, you allow yourself to hope. You never dreamt that this day would come.

He nods.

“I’ll take you somewhere safe. Please, come with me,” he answers, and slowly extends a hand – the one that isn’t shiny – towards you.

You mull over your options for a few moments. Fight, go with him, or… stay here? You exhale. What did you have to lose? Deciding to trust the stranger, you unfold your tangled limbs and cautiously take his hand.

When your skin meets his, something shifts and the world goes black for just a second.

Then, a series of incomprehensible images explode in your mind, flooding your senses.

Loud. Guns. A table, strapped down to it. Suffocating. Another man, pale hair, blue eyes. Explosions, fire. A train car. Falling. Fear. Pain. A machine, you’re trapped. A burning in your shoulder. Confusion. Anger. Cold, so cold. A restless sleep. Screeching tires, bodies. The same blue-eyed man again, only sadder. “Bucky?” Blood. Water. Memories, so many memories, you can’t escape-

You break free, gasping from the agony. You meet the man’s eyes again, and they’re wide… wild. And you understand. You feel his anguish, his fear. He was just like you.

“Buck-” you hear someone call, footsteps coming to an abrupt halt as the man pauses in the doorway. The man from his memories.

“Oh god,” he gasps.

The first man – Bucky? – turns back to look at him, and then to you. You study them both, glancing between the two.

“This is Steve. He’s going to help us get out of here, okay?”

Two sets of blue eyes watch you, waiting for a response.

You nod.

-

You follow behind them closely – escaping the facility where you had lived for many years; the only home that you could remember. Machines are broken, computers smashed, unconscious bodies across the floor.

You won’t miss any of it.

The two men lead you outside. It’s dark, so it must be late. Still, you inhale deeply, the fresh air filling your lungs. You had no idea when the last time you’d been outside was. You didn’t remember. You pause, looking up at the sky, the stars, the moon. It was beautiful.

You notice the first man, who you’re presuming is named Bucky, has stopped too. You can feel him watching you.

You turn and start moving again. He does too.

-

They lead you towards some kind of… aircraft? Ship? Vehicle? Whatever it is, it’s huge. You follow them inside, where you find an assembly of people waiting. You’re escorted by the two men to a seat at the side of the vehicle you’re in, while the rest of the people watch you intently. Steve goes over to talk with one of them – the other stays at your side.

Bucky? Is that your name? You project, glancing up at him. His blue eyes widen; you must have startled him again.

“Yes,” he whispers in response. “What’s yours?”

…I don’t know, you answer after a pause.

His brows knit in confusion as he studies you.

They never gave me one, you explain.

A mixture of emotions flash across his pale eyes; comprehension, pity, compassion, empathy.

He nods sadly. The man Steve was just talking to approaches you, and you swear Bucky tenses. He glances at you, then to Bucky.

“We didn’t find any other… subjects,” the man says to Bucky as his eyes slide over to you briefly. “We have intel that these scumbags might have another facility. We just need to find out where.”

Bucky nods again, curtly. The man sets his gaze on you. He’s shorter than Bucky, with dark hair and dark eyes. He looks older than him, too.

“Hey kid, my name is Tony Stark, and these are the Avengers. We’re going to take you somewhere safe, but you gotta help us out. Can you do that?” he asks you, leaning closer. He doesn’t seem malicious, so after glancing quizzically at Bucky, who is attentively watching your interaction, you nod hesitantly.

“These people, do you know if they have another location, did they ever take you anywhere else?” he continues.

You shake your head. They’d never moved you, and you’d never heard anyone talk about anywhere else.

“Were there any other people… like you there? Did you ever see one of them?”

You shake your head again. He continues to ask you questions, to which you continue to shake your head – you were as much in the dark as they were. Tony’s eyes narrow; he seems frustrated with your lack of knowledge. At this point, you are too. This interrogation is beginning to make you panic.

“Do you know anything that could help us?”

You open your mouth to speak, although you aren’t sure what you would even say. You don’t know anything. Your voice fails you from lack of use, and no words come out. Tony continues to stare at you expectantly. Your eyes meet Bucky’s, which appear concerned as he observes you.

I don’t know, Bucky, I don’t know, you project to him, unsure of what else to do.

“She doesn’t know,” Bucky states gruffly, quickly stepping in between you and Tony, who at this point knits his eyebrows and glances between you and Bucky, his confusion evident.

“What do you mean, she doesn’t know? How is that even-” he starts.

“Back off, Stark,” Bucky basically growls, venom coating his words. “She doesn’t know anything, and she’s been through a lot, okay?” He takes a step towards the smaller man, gazing down at him menacingly.

“Woah, cool it, Frostbite,” Tony retorts, taking a step backwards. He glances at you again, and sighs. “I’m just trying to figure this out. I’ll see if we’ve got any updates on other potential locations.” He turns and begins to walk away, while Bucky’s posture relaxes. Tony turns towards Steve, who has been observing everything from afar.

“Rogers, please keep your sidekick in check. I don’t need him ripping anyone’s head off today, especially not mine,” Tony says to him before making his way to the front of whatever it is that you’re on.

Steve just looks at Bucky, his expression unreadable. Bucky meets his gaze, and holds it for a moment, before shaking his head gently and turning back towards you.

Your eyes meet.

Is everything okay? You project to him. He makes his way towards you, and takes a seat nearby.

“Yeah. Everything’s gonna be fine. Just relax,” he replies quietly, although you’re not sure if he’s saying it more to you, or to himself.

You pull your knees up to your chest and wrap your arms around your legs. The… aircraft, you guess, takes off.

-

The Quinjet, as you’d been told it was, takes you to what they call the Avengers Facility. Tony hadn’t said anything else to you on the trip, and Bucky stayed by your side, answering a few of your questions. You’d caught Steve looking at the two of you a few times, but no one had said much at all.

When you land, Steve finally approaches you. He smiles at you politely.

“I’ll show you to a room where you can stay until we figure all of this out,” he offers. You nod, and try to return his smile. Steve was nice. And from what you’d gathered, he was close with Bucky, and you trusted his judgement. Even if you’d only known him for a few hours.

You stand, stretching your legs. Bucky rises as well, standing next to you. When you start following Steve, Bucky stays nearby, walking just a step behind. They lead you into the compound, and throughout a series of hallways. The facility was massive – much bigger than the lab you’d come from. Eventually, you stop in front of a door in a long corridor, with identical doors lining each wall.

“You can stay in this room. It should have everything you need. Get some sleep; we’ll go over all of this in the morning, okay?” Steve says kindly, gesturing towards the door.

“Th-thank you,” you manage, your voice coming out rough and quiet. It sounds strange, even to you.

Steve catches it anyways, and continues smiling.

“You’re welcome,” he replies. At this, he turns, walking down the hallway. It’s Bucky’s turn to face you now.

Bucky’s eyes still seem to be clouded with some wort of worry. You could figure out why, if you wanted, by reading his mind, but that seemed impolite.

“If you need anything, I’m down the hall and to the left, okay?” he tells you, pointing to the direction he means. You nod, and he hesitates, seemingly wanting to say more.

Thank you, Bucky.

He nods back, and then turns, walking down the hallway. You watch him until he disappears around a corner, and turn to enter the room where you’ll be staying.

It’s huge, compared to the cell you were used to. There’s a giant bed in the center of the room, a couch to the side, under a big window, and its own private bathroom complete with a gigantic shower and tub. You’d never seen such luxury before. As much as you’d like to explore everything, you realize how exhausted you are, and your eyes start drooping of their own accord. You crawl into the enormous bed, and it’s so soft and comfortable. You’re asleep in seconds.

-

You wake again sometime later in the night. At first, you don’t know where you are, and you sit up quickly in a panic. You glace around, this isn’t your cell, and confusion envelops you. Then, everything starts to come back to you, and you remember where you are. Your panic doesn’t lessen, however. The gravity of the situation suddenly hits you. You were in a strange place with people who you knew almost nothing about. Some of the people who’d held you captive were still out there. They must be looking for you. And if they found you, what would they do to you?

With your mind racing and hysteria increasing, you do the only thing you can think to do, and try to infiltrate Bucky’s mind again. You’re not sure if it will work, since you’d never tried from so far away, in a different room, but it does.

The same familiar images you had seen earlier, when you’d touched his hand, explode in your mind. You can feel his pain all over again.

Bucky, are you awake? You project, struggling under the weight of his memories.

Everything stops.

Wait, what? Is she- he thinks, clearly unsure of what’s happening.

I can hear you, you respond.

Are you reading my mind?

...Yes. I can stop, if you want-

Is something wrong?

I don’t know, I’m… I’m scared.

Hang on, I’ll come to your room.

You sigh. You’re not really sure what it was that you wanted, or even what to say to him. How to explain. But then again, it seems that maybe Bucky would understand.

Bucky is at your door quicker than you would have thought possible.

“Are you okay?” he asks, slightly out of breath, swinging open the door.

“Yes,” you manage to mumble, out loud this time. You figured you’d better get used to speaking sooner or later.

Bucky walks towards you as you stay sitting up in the bed. No one turns on the light, so it’s still dark in your room, but you can make out his outline in the shadows.

“What scared you?” he continues, and tentatively sits at the foot of your bed.

“What if-” you whisper, but give up, unable to vocalize your thoughts. What if they come here? What if they find me?

“Oh,” Bucky sighs out, voice tender, “they won’t find you here. They’ll never be able to hurt you again. We’ll… I’ll make sure of it.”

You nod in the darkness, although you’re not sure if he can tell or not.

Thank you. I don’t want to go back.

You won’t have to. I promise.

The two of you sit there for a while, both unsure of what more to say. You can feel Bucky’s eyes on you. You decide to try your voice again.

“You weren’t asleep earlier.” It’s not a question.

“No,” he answers. “I don’t really… I mean I can’t-”

“I know… I saw,” you whisper. You think you can make out the slow nod of his head. “Let me help you,” you add quietly.

“What do you mean?” he asks after a pause, both skeptical and curious.

“I can… I won’t change anything, but I can quiet the memories, for a while.” You weren’t quite sure how to explain what it was you could do, but if you got into someone’s mind, you could temporarily manipulate their feelings. You couldn’t change or erase their memories, but you could instill a kind of peace there.

Bucky hesitates.

Please, you’ve done so much for me. Let me try to help you in return.

After an extended pause, Bucky must decide to trust you, as he quietly says “okay.”

You get out of the bed and take a few steps so that you’re standing in front of him. You gently place a hand on his shoulder.

Lie down, you project, lightly pushing him with your hand. He hesitates again, but shifts his position of the bed and lies down. You gently press a finger on his temple, feeling his memories course through you. You push and pull mentally, taking the pain and sadness, and locking it all behind a temporary wall. You focus on a sense of calm and tranquility, projecting it into him. You feel the tension leaving his body, you break the connection again, removing your hand from his face. He’s already asleep.

You take a pillow from the bed, and make your way to the couch across the room. You lie down again, and with Bucky in the room, you finally feel safe. You drift off a few moments later.

-

The sunlight streaming in from the large window above the couch wakes you. Your eyes open, and your first instinct is to check the bed for Bucky. However, when you look over, he isn’t there. Your heartrate spikes for a second, until you scan your eyes across the room and realize he’s at the door, back to you, talking to Steve. He’s just wearing a t-shirt, none of the gear from yesterday, so you can confirm that he does, in fact, have a metal arm. You remember feeling the burning in your – his – shoulder. Now you know the cause of that, and your heart clenches. You attempt to make out what they’re saying, listening intently.

“…I’m just saying, we don’t know anything about her, what she’s capable of-” Steve is telling him, before Bucky cuts him off.

“She’s not dangerous. Not to us,” he whispers adamantly.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to stay here, alone-“

“She helped me, Steve. She needs someone. I just want to keep her safe,” Bucky sighs.

“Buck, what’s really going on here? Why are you so insistent on this?” Steve asks him, genuine concern obvious in his voice. He waits for an answer, studying Bucky, who looks down before answering.

“Because… she’s just like me.” Bucky looks back up at Steve, who places a hand on his friend’s shoulder. They share a look, and you can see the comprehension dawn on Steve’s face.

“We’ll figure this out, Bucky. She’s going to be alright.” You see Bucky nod in response. Steve finally breaks eye contact with him, and his eyes end up settling on you, noticing that you’re awake. He stands up straighter, dropping his hand from Bucky’s shoulder, and clearing his throat. At this, Bucky spins on his heel; the clear, cool blue of his eyes landing on you. He swallows whatever emotions he’d been feeling, and watches you, expression unreadable.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?” Steve asks after a brief pause, plastering the polite smile back onto his face.

“I’m okay, thanks,” you reply quietly, sitting up. Bucky doesn’t say anything. Steve gestures towards the bed, where you notice a pile of fabric – clothing – has been laid.

“There are some new clothes over there for you. When you’re ready, Tony has finished decrypting the files we recovered from the lab. There might be some information that can help us there, and we’d like to go over it with you, if that’s alright.”

You nod your head.

“Good. I’ll meet you down at the lab whenever you’re ready. Bucky can show you the way.” He turns to leave, and you give him a small smile before he does. Bucky clears his throat.

“I’ll be outside when you’re ready,” he tells you, before leaving the room and closing the door.

-

“You doing okay?” Bucky inquires as you emerge a few minutes later. You test out a smile again.

“Yes, thank you. How about you?” you ask in response. Bucky smiles at you. You like that.

“I’m good – great, actually,” he shakes his head slightly, amused. “I don’t think I’ve slept that well since… well, ever. Thank you.” His eyes sparkle when he says this. You like that, too.

You smile shyly at him.

“You’re welcome.”

You follow him through more hallways, down stairs, and through various rooms in comfortable silence. Finally, you arrive at what you assume must be their lab. You see Tony, the man who questioned you yesterday, sitting at a very advanced-looking computer of some sort, while Steve stands next to him, leaning over the screen. Bucky tenses slightly, you note, as the two of you approach them. Steve offers the two of you a small wave when he sees you, and you attempt to mimic his cordial smile. Tony glances up from the screen, eyes flitting between you and Bucky before settling on you, and he begins to speak.

“Before we get started, I’d like to apologize,” his eyes slide over to Bucky, then back to you before he continues, “if I was too intense yesterday. We’re all on the same side here. I’m just eager to find these guys and put them away, as I’m sure you are.”

“It’s okay,” you answer earnestly, “I want to help you.” Tony eyes Bucky warily again, but nods. He must decide that his apology was satisfactory, because Tony clears his throat and starts talking again.

“Good,” he states. “Now, you guys might want to take a look at this.” He gestures to his computer.

You share a nervous look with Bucky. You exhale, and he follows you to the computer. When you lean over Tony’s chair to get a better look, he lightly lays a hand on your lower back. An attempt at comfort, you guess. And it works; you’d been without human contact for so long, you’d forgotten what it felt like to be comforted, if you’d even known in the first place. You steel yourself before looking at the screen as Tony and Steve begin to explain what they’d found.

-

You sit, back in your room, alone. In your hands are copies of the files Tony had decoded; files that contained any information that the laboratory had on you. A name that you didn’t recognize. A birthday that you’d never celebrated. Any abilities that you had, and all of the things they’d done to you. You focus on keeping your breathing steady.

What Tony hadn’t been able to find, however, was any living relatives. No home for you to return to. You were alone, with no place in the world. You had no idea where you’d go, no idea of who you were supposed to be. You fight back tears as your breathing rate increases and your pulse races. This was all too much.

You’d returned to your room alone, needing time to process the information you’d been given. Along with your personal information, he’d also found records of other subjects, just like you. Evidently, there were others at the facility with you at some point. You had no idea what had become of them. Tony also hadn’t found an indication of where the other locations were, but he was convinced they existed.

All of this information overwhelms you, and you have no idea how to handle it. Now, you wish that you were anything but alone. As if he could sense you panic, Bucky chooses now to knock on your door.

“Hey, are you doing okay in there-”

Bucky, come in, please, I need you, you plead, the tears in your eyes threatening to spill over.

The door flies open, and Bucky appears panicked for an instant, before he takes in your expression and he tears that finally pool down your face.

“Oh, Doll,” he gasps, eyes softening, as he rushes into the room. Before you even know what’s happening, he’s wrapped you in his arms.

You tense momentarily, shocked by the suddenness of his movement, unfamiliar with this kind of contact. A hug, you think. You don’t remember ever receiving one. And you realize that, at least from Bucky, you really like them. So, you let yourself melt into his arms, clutching whatever you can get ahold of - his arm, his shirt, and bury your face into his chest. You’re full on sobbing now, and Bucky just sits with you, holds you, until you can calm down enough to talk.

“What is it?” Bucky asks you, softly, after a few minutes. You pull your head away just enough to look up at him, and he’s looking at you with such compassion, such tenderness, that it makes your heart clench.

“I… I-” you try out loud, but your breathing is still erratic and your voice fails.

I don’t know who I am, Bucky, you project. I don’t even recognize my own name. I have nowhere to go. I’m alone-

Bucky stops you by delicately placing a hand on the side of your face, running his thumb gently across your cheekbone. His eyes shine with sincerity, the blue brighter than you’d ever seen.

“You’re not alone. I know, I know exactly what you’re feeling.” You nod, trying to clear you head. You knew he did; you felt it. “We’ll figure this out. Stay here. Stay with me, and we’ll figure this out together.”

The two of you stare at each other, the gravity of his words sinking in.

“Stay... Stay here? With the Avengers?” you whisper, searching his eyes with your own.

“Yes,” he replies, softly, “Please. I don’t want to lose you. I’ve never met someone so… so much like me before.”

“I don’t want to lose you either.”

“Then stay. I will protect you,” he promises earnestly.

Your eyes lock, his blue gaze burning with passion. Bucky slowly, softly leans closer, bringing his lips to meet yours. A kiss. It feels like fireworks are exploding behind your eyes, your heart hammering in your ears. You can feel his heart beat, too. They seem to beat in rhythm, as if they belong together.

Maybe there was somewhere for you after all.

-

Forever Tags (open):

@thecrazyoneshavetakenover @vaguelyminty @stan-by-me @tbetz0341 @coal000 @banner-and-bucky-are-life

[thewinterphantom]

Waking Up: Chapter 4

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

What actually happened on the mission? Was it really Bucky's fault? How does this end? You're about to find out.

At last, the end. Flashbacks and thoughts in italics.

This chapter has minor mentions of violence in a flashback. Nothing graphic.

Read HERE on Ao3! (under winterphantom)

“Stay close,” Bucky tells you as you round a corner.

Before you can respond, you see HYDRA soldiers all around you.

Bucky curses under his breath. They knew we were coming, you think. You meet Bucky’s eyes for a split second, filled with terror. Then you are alone, and you are surrounded.

You don’t even have time to think before they are all over you. Shots are fired, arms and legs flying everywhere. You can’t call for backup, or even wonder if the rest of the team are ok.

However, you and Bucky are both good fighters. You manage to hold your own. You can’t see Bucky, but by the number of agents being flung around the room, it seems he’s doing alright too. For a minute, you actually think that you’ll both make it out of this.

Then you hear it. “желание.” Longing.

Time seems to slow down. You have no idea where the voice is coming from, but you certainly recognize the word.

Bucky.

At this moment, nothing else matters. You need to get to him. You need to help him.

“ржaвый.” Rusted.

You don’t know how they knew the words. You all thought that you’d eradicated any trace of them, and anyone who knew about them for that matter.

More bodies fly past you. Bucky must have realized what was happening. He was going through these soldiers at an incredible pace.

“Семнадцать.” Seventeen.

The only thing you can think of is getting to him. You try fight your way through the remaining soldiers.

“Рассвет.” Daybreak

You catch a glimpse of him, encircled by a thinning mob. You can’t even follow his movements, taking them down with tremendous speed. You can hear his metal arm whirring. The soldiers don’t even notice you.

“Печь.” Furnace.

Bucky’s eyes look distant. He’s not even looking at them, yet somehow still overpowers them with ease. He must be searching for the source of the voice. You call to him, but if he hears you, he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“Девять.” Nine.

You’re so close. You call to him again, pushing through the bodies still separating you two. You reach out. Your fingers graze him… and…

“добросердечный.” Benign.

…Black.

You replay the memory in your mind. Bucky is still staring at the ground.

“Buck, I…” you start, and Bucky finally brings his eyes back to your face. He looks like a puppy waiting to be scolded, wide-eyed and skittish. You clear your throat and speak again.

“Why do you keep apologizing? I can’t understand… how was any of this your fault?” you ask, genuinely confused.

He stares at you for a moment, surprised at your words. Then his expression darkens again, and he clenches his metal fist. His eyes follow its movements.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asks quietly.

When you tell him, Bucky inhales deeply and rakes a hand through his disheveled hair. He raises his metal arm slightly, and his gaze with it. His eyes bore into yours.

“It was me… this.” He flexes and clenches the hand again. He inhales again before speaking, not averting his eyes.

“I hit you—no, threw you into the wall. Knocked you out. I… I thought I killed you.” His voice breaks at the last part.

“Bucky…” You reach for him, but he pulls away. He shakes his head and continues, that same guilty look spreading over his features.

“I was trying to get back to you, but… When I heard those words, I couldn’t think straight. I just needed to make them stop… when you touched me, I didn’t even think. And when I saw you… I was so angry, at myself, at everyone… I got them all. Every one of them, shut up the one saying the words real quick… I needed to get back to you, carried you all the way back, didn’t know if you would ever wake up…” He’s speaking quickly, not forming coherent sentences, eyes darting around the room. He looks desperate and lost, like he wants to beg for your forgiveness but knows he shouldn’t.

“It’s not your faul—” you try to say, but Bucky cuts you off.

“My fault?” He fixes his gaze on you, appalled. “It was my hand. We fought off all those soldiers, we were going to be okay, and then I’m the one who hurt you. It should’ve never happened in the first place. I should’ve been more prepared, should’ve never let us get separated…” He stares at his metal arm again.

Before he can continue rambling, you interject.

“I love you too.”

Well, that shut him up.

He gawks at you with a stunned expression on his face. Again, you can feel him searching your eyes. You reach out, and he lets you take his hand this time.

“How?” he whispers, barely audible. You run your thumb over the back of his hand.

“You’re amazing, Bucky. No matter what you say, it wasn’t your fault. You saved me.” You smile at him, but you can see he’s hesitant to return it.

“I promised to keep you safe, but I failed you, I hurt you…” he trails off.

“What, do you think I would’ve been safer if you hadn’t taken out those soldiers, if you let them say all of those words? Turned back into the Winter Soldier? Bucky, I can handle an injury. Being trapped with the world’s deadliest assassin and a bunch of enemy agents? Not so much.”

He considers this for a moment, but his guilt and disbelief are evident on his face.

“If you were with anyone else, we wouldn’t have had to worry about that… those damn words—”

“If I was with anyone else,” you interrupt, “I wouldn’t have had a chance of making it out of there. Did you see how many of them you took out? No one else could do that, Buck. That was you. You’re the reason I’m still alive. Stop trying to argue with me, you know you’ll lose.” You grin at him.

The corner of his mouth quirks up.

“Stubborn as ever,” he quips a little uncertainly. However, he can’t stop a small smirk from appearing on his face.

You beam at him.

“Come over here.” You shift over as much as you can and pat the space next to you on the hospital bed. He hesitates momentarily, but complies.

You look up at him, sitting next to you, and he still seems a bit unsure of himself.

“I meant it, Bucky,” you insist quietly, eyes locked with his shining blue ones. To prove your point, you purposefully take his metal hand in yours, gently pull him down towards you, and softly press your lips to his.

Pulling back slightly, you see he’s finally broken into a real smile for the first time since you woke up, his eyes crinkling around the edges.

“I know, doll. So did I.” He kisses the top of your head.

Bucky lays back on the bed and you place your head on his chest, pulling his arm around you. He whispers again that he loves you, and sighs contentedly.

“How long has it been since you’ve actually slept?” You peer up at him and notice that his eyes are closed.

“Since the mission…” he mumbles sleepily as he pulls you closer to him.

“How long ago was that?” you ask, still not sure exactly how long you were out for.

“Mmm… couple days…”

You scoff at him softly, but decide that that question can wait. Within a few moments, he’s asleep. Soon after, you too fall asleep to the melodic sound of his even breathing.

-

“I guess we can add ‘world’s best wingman’ to my long list of accomplishments,” Tony says, peering in at the two entangled, sleeping bodies through the doorway.

Steve chuckles. “Sure, Stark. Should we wake them and tell them we’re back?”

“Nah, I don’t really want to deal with a half-asleep abominable snowman,” Tony retorts.

“They probably need both could use the rest,” Steve agrees. “I’ll leave a note.”

“Looks like Sleeping Beauty finally found her Prince Charming.”

[evelynphoenix-blog]

➸ aℓℓ тнє PIECES oғ чou

And to think she came here for some peace of mind.

Visiting museums for leisure was something Evelyn might have done more often if it weren't for current circumstances. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop. Twenty minutes of tapestry ogling, maybe a quick swing by the ancient weapons display, but that was it. Just enough of a break to help clear her mind and let emotions level out. She spent more time these days with in a gun in her hand rather than not, which was enough to put most people on edge. 

Through no other means than sheer dumb luck, Evelyn found herself mere yards away from a target she'd been after since the Uprising. The Winter Soldier seemed far less soldier-y now, though. More civilian, more confused. Steve had given Evelyn enough speeches about the preservation of Bucky Barnes, to the point where she too believed he could be resurrected. She may have initially labeled him a villain, but that was before she'd heard the full story. Now she knew him for what he truly was. A victim, lost at sea in a rudderless vessel.

        ❝It's beautiful, isn't it?❞

The ex-agent found herself talking to him before she could stop herself. Despite what old protocols might have dictated, she felt no need to dump a mess of information on the man. Light conversation would do just fine for now. After all, they both stood before one of the many Jagiellonian tapestries in existence. They were as impressive as they were plentiful.

        ❝They're all mid-sixteenth century. Hard to believe the whole collection's over three hundred pieces in size.❞ Noting that the museum only had three on display, she added a quick remark. ❝Most of 'em are at Wawel Castle in France, though, so--❞

The smile and nervous laugh that followed her words hearkened back to the days of old when Evelyn would've stumbled through any social interaction. Seems nerves still had the upper hand here.

        ❝I'm Evelyn, by the way.❞ One hand tapped at her collarbone in a signifying gesture. ❝Queen of social awkwardness, if you haven't noticed yet.❞

[redwhiteandlionheart-blog]

thewinterphantom

I really love you, but I really hate you too, I whisper to myself as we plot about Steve and Bucky being found frozen in the plane together by Russians and both turned into Brainwashed Cold War Weapons. 

Best Soviet death squad ever.

[winterphantom]

Muse: Chapter 2

Chapter 1 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

You move into the tower, and get a little more familiar with some of its residents.

Read HERE on Ao3!

A/N: I’m actually going on vacation for the next 2 weeks, so this will be the last update for a while, but once I get back this should continue with (hopefully) weekly updates. Feel free to send me some requests to work on when I get back. Also, I have no idea why it took me this long to write Sam Wilson.

Warnings: Awkwardness?

-

You glide your pencil across the page absentmindedly, thinking about meeting the Avengers. Today was the day you were moving into the tower.

Despite everything going well when you were all introduced, you were nervous about living with the team, since you’d never actually worked with them before. You’d only been on a few covert missions supervised by Steve or Tony when your particular skillset was required. You felt a bit out of place; after all, you weren’t a badass spy, a super soldier, a demigod, or any sort of genius. Sure, you were intellectually sufficient and well-trained in combat from your time with SHEILD, but your main power was just… disappearing. Turning invisible didn’t seem quite on par with the rest of the team’s skills.

Your power was interesting. In theory, it was easy to control. Basically, if you wanted to turn invisible, you would. However, in reality that feeling occurred far too frequently. Just being nervous was enough to do it sometimes. That’s what the drawing helped with; keeping you grounded and making sure you didn’t vanish. If you got overly distracted, it was easy for your mind to drift away, and your physical form along with it. Holding something, feeling something real was key to keeping you visible. Funnily enough, it was easier for you to disappear than not to most of the time.

For far from the first time since your first meeting, your mind wanders back to Bucky. You couldn’t seem to get his gaze out of your head. He was so striking, and yet so good at being unassuming. You’d never seen someone vanish that easily who didn’t have the benefit of invisibility. Although, come to think of it, stealth must have been vital for an assassin. No. You push the thought from your mind. Clearly Bucky wanted to put his past behind him, so you shouldn’t be thinking about it.

Sighing, you glance down at your page. While you had been thinking, your hands had continued drawing of their own accord. Staring back at you were a pair of eyes, sketched roughly but clearly recognizable as those of none other than Bucky Barnes. Of course. You stare at the picture for a while, then rip the page out and throw it away. You’d have to be more careful. If you were going to live under the same roof as the team, you surely couldn’t be caught drawing pictures of your colleague. You get up from where you’re sitting to finish packing your bags.

-

“This all you got?” Tony asks, pointing to the few bags you drag out of the elevator.

You nod.

“Geez, remind me to give you a bigger paycheck so that you can splurge a little.”

You chuckle at him, and he grins back.

You turn to bring your bags to your room, and spot Steve sitting on the couch. Next to him, of course, is Bucky. Those captivating eyes meet yours once more. You tear your eyes away to glance at Steve, who is now standing up and strolling towards you. He greets you, and to your surprise, Bucky moves to follow him to where you’re standing. However, he stays a step behind him.

“Welcome home,” Steve declares, smiling warmly at you. “Need some help with those?”

He gestures to your bags.

“Uh, yeah, if you wouldn’t mind…” you reply sheepishly.

“I’m sure our two hulking super soldiers won’t mind helping you out with that,” Tony assures you. “I’ll see you all later.”

With a wave, he’s gone.

Steve chuckles, shaking his head at Tony.

“He givin’ you a hard time?”

“No more than usual,” you respond, smirking.

He grins back, before picking up a bag like it weighs nothing at all. You swear you see a flicker of a smile cross Bucky’s face before he does the same, and the three of you head towards your room.

-

“I guess we’ll leave you to unpack, then?”

Steve lays the last of your bags next to the bed.

“Thanks Cap… Bucky,” you stammer, nodding in their direction. Bucky nods back at you.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Steve answers back. “Once you’re settled in, we’ll be around if you need anything. The rest of the team too.”

The friendly smile remains on his face. You appreciate how nice he’s being to you, but honestly, the last thing you need is to be surrounded by everyone on your first day there. So you simply nod again, and Steve leaves you be with Bucky sauntering out behind him. You can’t help but watch him as he leaves.

When the door closes, you let out a breath and let your posture relax. There was something so captivating about Bucky; the way he moved, the way he looked, and that quiet intensity that seemed to follow him wherever he went. For only meeting him a few times, he’d made quite the impact on you. But he made you nervous, and probably not for the reasons people might expect. You weren’t totally sure how to interact with him. Not yet.

You rummage through you bags and pull out your sketchbook and some pencils. To keep your anxiety down, you start sketching while sitting at the desk tucked in the corner of your room. You had to admit, Tony Stark had style. The accommodations were far more luxurious than you were used to. There was a giant bed in the middle of the room, a closet that you couldn’t even fill up halfway, and a wall of windows with a great view of the city. And, of course, each room had its own bathroom, which was much nicer than even the fanciest of hotels. Again, you wonder if you really fit in here.

You turn your attention to the page in front of you and try to focus on what you’re drawing lest you have a repeat of what happened earlier. You forcefully push Bucky’s face out of your brain.

-

A knock on your door breaks your concentration. You’re not sure how long you’ve been sketching, but the pages in front of you are almost totally covered.

“Hey, it’s Steve. Can I come in?”

You shoot back a “sure” as loudly as you can, and Steve opens the door.

“Hey,” he says, leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey Cap,” you respond, shutting the sketchbook and turning to face him.

“You can just call me Steve, you know,” he tells you, laughing.

You can feel yourself getting flustered again.

“Right, uh, Steve, what’s up?” you say, attempting to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Just checking up on you. I figured you might want something to eat at some point today.” He smiles that perfect smile again.

You check your phone. You had been cooped up in your room longer than you’d realized.

“Um, yeah, I guess I probably should…” you reply timidly.

“Me, Sam and Bucky are ordering pizza, if you’re interested. Otherwise, I think Tony and some of the others are going out for dinner…”

Your face must have given away how you feel about that option, because Steve chuckles at you again.

“Okay, what do you like on your pizza?”

-

Steve had texted you to inform you that the pizza had arrived, so you’re currently making your way down the hallway towards the kitchen. You overhear some voices, which you assume belong to Steve, Sam and Bucky.

“She’s cute, huh?” You think that’s Sam.

You hear someone scoff, and assume it’s Steve.

“Seriously. What do you think, Mecha Man?” Sam again.

You hear someone grunt but you don’t hear an answer. You wonder what they’re talking about.

As you turn the corner into the room, the three men all turn to look at you. Bucky’s eyes seem to widen slightly when he sees you, but his mask of stoicism falls back into place in an instant. Steve sits at the head of the table, Bucky sitting to one side and Sam on the other. Man, that’s a lot of pizza, you think to yourself. Boxes are strewn haphazardly across the table, some empty and others looking like a pack of wild animals had mauled the contents. You stifle a giggle. You guess it shouldn’t surprise you, given all three were huge guys, two being freaking super soldiers. They probably went through a lot of food.

“Hey! She finally decides to show herself!” Sam shouts at you, smirking. Steve offers you a wave while Bucky nods at you, just as you did to him earlier.

“Hi guys,” you greet, approaching the table tentatively.

“Take your pick,” Steve says gesturing to the mess around them. “Sorry, we might’ve gotten a bit carried away.”

You giggle as Sam continues to smirk at you. The corner of Bucky’s mouth twitches upwards. You scan the table and make your choice, picking a plate up from the end of the table and throwing a few slices onto it.

“You want a drink?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Sam, please don’t try to get the new recruit drunk before her first training session tomorrow,” Steve sighs, shaking his head.

Sam raises his hands defensively.

“Hey man, I was just gonna offer her some water.”

“Sure you were.” Steve laughs, standing up. He walks to the fridge, grabs a bottle of water and tosses it to you.

You grab it midair, and Sam responds with an appreciative whistle.

“Good reflexes. That’s a plus.”

Bucky looks rather unamused while Steve just shakes his head, smile never faltering.

“So,” Sam continues, “besides the quick reflexes, what’s your thing?”

You freeze up for a second. You weren’t really fond of discussing your powers. Your fingers twitch, anxious for a pencil or anything to occupy themselves with. You try to think of how to answer while also trying to focus on not immediately giving him a demonstration. Bucky’s piercing eyes land on yours for a moment, as if he can sense your discomfort.

Steve, however, being more familiar with how your brain works, swoops in to save you again.

“Quit being impatient, Sam. You’ll find out tomorrow,” he chastises him.

You shift uncomfortably, not knowing whether to sit with them or take the food back to your room.

“Fine, keep your secrets for now,” Sam states, waving a hand dismissively. “But tell me this… you like movies?”

The question knocks you off guard for a moment, but you nod, feeling the smile creep back onto your face. Sam beams back at you.

“Good. I’m trying to catch these senior citizens,” he gestures to Steve and Bucky, “up on all the best ones they missed. Tonight’s Star Wars night. You up for that?”

You hesitate for a moment, but ultimately agree.

“Sure.”

-

Steve and Bucky were sitting on the couch in the middle of the living room. Sam had opted for the chair next to where Steve was sitting, so you took the one across from him, putting you next to Bucky. You had spent the first few minutes of the movie trying not to stare at him, and you’d caught him turning his attention towards you more than once. After a while, though, you’d gotten wrapped up in the movie playing in front of you. Sam occasionally piped up, providing some clever commentary and making you laugh. By the end of the movie, you were the most relaxed you’d been in a long time.

Just as the credits start rolling, Tony and the rest of the team amble from the elevator out into the common room. You unintentionally let out a squeak, causing Sam and Steve to burst out laughing. You see Bucky try to cover his mouth with his hand as he looks away, but he’s not quick enough to hide the fact he’s laughing too.

The team members greet the four of your and head to their separate rooms. You wave and mumble a few hellos. Soon Tony is the only one left, taking in the sight of the group of you.

“Have fun, kids?” he quips.

“Star Wars is always fun,” Sam retorts, earning a grin from you.

“Well, you managed to get that one,” he points to you, “out of her room, so you must’ve done something right.”

“Maybe we’re just better company, Stark,” Sam states, causing Steve to chuckle.

“Alright, enough of this. It’s getting late and we’ve got training to do tomorrow,” Steve says, using his best Captain America voice.

Tomorrow. You gulp, already getting nervous. Bucky glances at you. Oblivious, Sam rolls his eyes at Steve.

“Why you always gotta ruin our fun?”

“I’m actually with the Captain on this one. Bedtime, children. See you bright and early tomorrow.” With that, Tony leaves the room.

Steve gets up, causing Sam to groan as he follows suit.

“Fine, fine. We’ll have to watch the next one some other time.” He turns to address you. “You’ll watch that with us too, right?”

You nod, evidently satisfying him. You and Bucky stand up at the same time, blocking each other from walking around the couch. You feel your eyes go wide and your face heat up.

“I-uh, sorry,” you manage meekly.

Bucky just takes a step back, gesturing with a hand for you to go first. You walk by as fast as you can without actually running, Bucky just a step behind. He stays that way, as the group of you walk towards your rooms. You notice that he seems to have positioned himself between you and Sam. Unfortunately, he’s just far enough behind you that you can’t discreetly steal a glance at him, so you keep your gaze locked ahead. As you approach your room, Sam and Steve wish you goodnight and turn to their own rooms. Bucky lingers for just a second, and for the first time that night, you hear his voice.

“Night,” he whispers simply, his voice quiet and raspy.

Before you can even turn to respond, he’s already making his way back down the hall.

-

Forever Tags (open): @thecrazyoneshavetakenover @vaguelyminty @stan-by-me @tbetz0341 @coal000 @banner-and-bucky-are-life @lusts-of-the-flesh @letsgetlostinorbit 

Muse Tag List (open): @lilypalmer1987 @patootiepatoopiiiiii @storiesbehindyoureyes @sami-raye @holyrips @mad-hatter-021

(let me know if I put you on the wrong list by accident)

[thewinterphantom]

Waking Up: Chapter 3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 ... Chapter 4

You manage to get Bucky talking and make him forget about the mission for a while. Bucky has something to tell you. Which is exactly, of course, when you remember it.

Flashbacks and thoughts are in italics.

Read HERE on Ao3! (under winterphantom)

It takes you a second to come up with a question. Bucky eyes you intently.

“Um… When did we meet?” You’re maybe finding it hard to think with Bucky finally holding your gaze.

“About a year ago, when you joined the team and moved into the tower,” he replies. He looks away from you now, and you wonder if he’s remembering that moment.

Something flashes through your mind.

Steve.

“Y/N, this is my best friend, Bucky.”

A small smile appears on his otherwise solemn face, then he lets his brown hair fall back over his pale eyes.

A memory? It’s gone before you can process it.

“Steve and Tony met you first, but that was the first time I saw you…” Bucky trails off and looks at you again.

You feel like he’s searching your eyes for… something. You’re the one who breaks eye contact this time.

“So… we were friends.” You look at him again and he nods. “But were we friends right away, when we met?”

You swear Bucky almost chuckles at that. “No, not really. Although that mostly was my fault, not yours.”

You walk into the gym, expecting to find it empty, and instead you are met with a shirtless James Buchanan Barnes, doing pull-ups. His back is faced towards you, and you can’t help but stare. Your eyes land on his arm… his metal arm. For the first time, you can see the scars where it connects to the rest of his body. He drops to the ground and turns, his eyes widening when he notices you. You freeze. Bucky quickly pulls on a sweater and brushes past you, eyes glued to the ground.

You try again to hold on to the memory, but it disappears just as quickly as the first one. You need to keep Bucky talking.

“Really? What changed, then?” You smile shyly at him, and to your surprise, he returns your smile. He looks thoughtful for a moment before answering.

“You… you were always so nice to me. Even when I tried to shut you out.”

You pour the hot water into your mug and stir it around. When you turn around, Bucky is standing near the doorway.

“Can’t sleep either?”

He shakes his head.

“Want some hot chocolate?” You smile at him, holding out another mug.

Bucky hesitantly nods and approaches the table. You fill the second mug and hand it to him. You both sit in comfortable silence while you finish your drinks.

After you finish, you lay your mug in the sink and turn to go back to your room.

“Goodnight, Bucky.”

You snap back to reality and realize that Bucky is still talking.

“After you got close with Steve… I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t want to. I wanted to be close to you too.” As he continues, more memories flood back into your mind.

You, sitting between Bucky and Steve on the couch.

“Please, Steve?” You give him your best puppy-dog eyes. “Bucky hasn’t seen it yet!”

You hold out your favorite movie.

“Y/N, I watched it with you last week!” Steve exclaims.

You pout, and Bucky chuckles at you. His laugh had quickly become one of your favorite sounds this past while. It was nice to finally see him smile.

Steve does his best to look annoyed but grins anyways. “Fine, put it on.”

“I guess I just couldn’t resist you, doll.” He smirks at you, and you can feel yourself blush.

Doll...? Suddenly, everything starts coming back to you.

You almost throw the book you’re reading onto the ground when you hear someone come into the tower. You rush to the elevator door.

“Steve! Bucky!” You say as it opens. Steve comes out first and pulls you into a hug.

“I’m so glad you guys are okay,” you sigh as Steve releases you.

“It was just a regular mission, Y/N. You shouldn’t worry so much.” He smiles at you.

“I know.” You smile back, and Bucky drops his bags to the grand and hugs you with his flesh arm, keeping the metal one by his side.

“I missed you, doll.” He holds you tightly, maybe for a few seconds longer than Steve did. You missed him too.

You’re certain there’s a twinge of sadness in Bucky’s eyes as he continues speaking, and the smile falls from his face.

“I know you can’t remember me right now, but I… I need to tell you something.” He drops his eyes again, pushing his hair out of his face before looking back up meeting your gaze.

You can’t bring yourself to speak just yet, your mind still racing with memories of Bucky. So instead, you just nod.

“Y/N, I…” He shakes his head, trying to get the words right. His eyes glisten as they sear into yours.

“You know, or at least you did, that I care about you. But I never told you how much. I have been so scared to open up to anyone for so long. I didn’t think I could… But with you, everything was different. I felt like myself again. I fell for you, doll. And that scared me too. I didn’t know if I could deal with the pain of telling you, if you didn’t feel the same way, but after what happened… The thought of losing you, of never being able to tell you how I felt, that was the most painful thing I could imagine. I know I messed everything up, I know I don’t deserve you, but doll…” Bucky pauses for a moment and swallows thickly.

“I love you.”

The mission.

“Y/N, Bucky, stick together. You know the plan, right?” Tony asks you before you all split up.

You both nod.

“Stay safe, guys.” Steve says before he turns to leave with Tony, placing a hand on each of your shoulders.

Bucky turns to you. “Don’t worry, doll. I’ve got your back. I’ll keep you safe.”

“Bucky, wait.” You stop him before he can say anything else.

He looks at you hopefully.

“I… I remember. Everything.”

“The mission?” You can see the hope in his eyes fade.

You nod.

Bucky refuses to look at you. His hair hides his eyes, and you can no longer read his expression. When he speaks again, his voice is soft and solemn.

“I am so, so sorry.”

-

[ivehadenoughrest-blog]

[Text]: There’s blood. There’s a lot of blood.

[Text] What happened?

[Text] I’m on my way. Keep texting me.

[winterphantom]

Running: Chapter 10 [Final]

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

A reunion.

Read HERE on Ao3!

A/N: So, this is the end of the story, at least for now. I went into more detail on Ao3, but I would consider making a kind of sequel series if I can think up a good enough idea and if people would want to read it. For now, I’ve got some other things in the works. I wanted to thank you all again for the support I’ve gotten on this story, it’s meant a lot to me. I really hope you guys enjoy the ending. 

-

“Alright, thanks, Steve,” Bucky says, hanging up his phone. He turns to look at you.

“Tony and Bruce are in the lab. They won’t see us coming in.”

You expected that to be the answer. They were both such workaholics.

You nod at him, butterflies in your stomach from both excitement and anxiety. Bucky gets out of the car, walks around to your side and opens your door for you, a gentleman as always. He takes your hand as you get out.

“You sure you’re okay with this?” He glances down at you, running his thumb over the back of your hand.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Besides,” you grin wickedly, “this will be fun.”

Bucky smirks back, shaking his head.

“I almost feel bad for doing this. Almost.”

--

You stand outside of the lab, careful not to make much noise as Bucky prepares to enter. He winks at you before his mask of stoicism falls into place and he reaches to open the door.

Bucky throws the door open harshly and storms into the lab. As he disappears, you listen closely to the ensuing conversation.

“Barnes? What the-“ Tony starts.

“She’s gone again, Stark.”

“What do you mean, gone?”

“What do you think I mean, Tony? She took off again.” Bucky spits the words out in annoyance. You never realized he was such a good actor.

“You let her get away? You, world’s deadliest assassin?” Tony’s voice rises.

“What can I say, Stark? She’s gotten good at running away.” Bucky’s voice fades as you hear footsteps. He’s leading them to the other side of the lab.

“I really thought she would have come to her senses…” Bruce chimes in.

Tony sighs.

“If I ever find her again, I’m going to kill her.”

You stifle a laugh.

“So what do you geniuses propose we do now?”

That’s your cue.

You peer into the lab. Bruce and Tony have their backs to you, listening to Bucky rant about what happened. The perfect distraction. You creep up behind them, quietly. Bucky continues speaking, as if you’re not there at all.

“She wouldn’t explain, she just kept telling me to leave-“

“Of course she would say that!” Tony throws his hands up in exasperation. “You know her well enough to know she’s stubborn as hell. You should have been more persistent with her!”

“I would say he was pretty persistent.” You state plainly, crossing your arms.

Tony and Bruce turn on their heels, total shock evident on their faces. You raise an eyebrow and them and Bucky doubles over laughing. Before you can even process what he’s doing, Tony grabs you, hugging you and spinning you around.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, kid,” he says, grinning, as he sets you down. You giggle at him.

“I missed you too, Tony,” you respond and his grin widens.

You turn to Bruce and pull him into a hug.

“It’s good to have you back,” he tells you cheerfully. When you let him go, he faces you, assessing you with his gaze. “Are you okay?”

Tony lays his hand on your shoulder. You glance around, from Bruce, to Tony, and finally land on Bucky. Your eyes meet, and you see real happiness there.

“Yeah,” you smile. “I’m gonna be fine.”

“Good, because you’re way behind with work. And now you owe me, like, a bunch of money…” Tony points a finger at you as you shrug his hand off.

You roll your eyes dramatically at him. “I think you’ll manage.”

He raises his eyebrows and turns to look pointedly at Bucky.

“Don’t even get me started on all the stuff that Sergeant Moody over there broke.”

You raise your eyebrows at Bucky who just smiles back, albeit a bit sheepishly. Tony crosses his arms.

“You guys should probably go get some rest,” Bruce suggests, trying to get Tony off of your back. You smile at him thankfully.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll see you guys here tomorrow?” You ask, glancing at Tony.

“You better not be late!” He yells jokingly at you as Bucky wraps an arm around your shoulder and leads you out of the lab.

You sigh contently as you walk back to the room that you and Bucky had shared before all of this. You glance at him and reach up to his hand, resting near your shoulder, and entwine your fingers with his. His sparkling blue gaze meets yours.

“Feel good to be back home, doll?” he asks you.

You nod.

“You have no idea,” you respond sincerely. “I missed it more than I thought. And I missed you.”

As the two of you smile at each other, you know that you were telling the truth earlier, when Bruce had asked you how you were.

You were going to be just fine.

-

Running Tag List: @timemngmtoptimisationproblems, @lowkeybuckyb, @banner-and-bucky-are-life, @buckybarnestrashh, @jadepc

Forever Tags: @thecrazyoneshavetakenover, @vaguelyminty, @stan-by-me, @tbetz0341, @coal000

[winterphantom]

Running: Chapter 8

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Will you tell Bucky the truth? Will he understand?

Read HERE on Ao3!

-

You blink at Bucky, as he waits for your response. Of course he’s figured out exactly what you’re feeling; he could always read you like a book. But he still doesn’t get it. He still hasn’t put together why you’d left. You don’t know how to start.

“Do you hate me so much?” It comes out faintly, wearily.

At that your eyes widen, as you see him close his eyes in exasperation, the hand that he’d previously held out for you clenching into a fist.

“Do I not even deserve an explanation? You just… left. Gone, without a word. You didn’t even give me a chance to help you, to apologize…”

“I don’t hate you,” you reply timidly. You couldn’t stand that he kept blaming himself. This was exactly what you were trying to avoid.

“Then why would you do this to me? I loved you!” His eyes snap open. You wince at his use of past tense. He’s struggling to keep his voice down, his anger and sadness fusing together as his jaw clenches. “And you abandoned me, left me to worry about what happened to you, if you were even alive! What could I have done that was so bad, to deserve this…” Finally his voice cracks, the heartbreak overcoming the passion.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you mutter sheepishly, eyes downcast.

“Why… why are you so confusing?” His voice stays quiet, but it’s intense, a million emotions playing across his blue gaze. “I was sure, if I found you, you’d either tell me you hated my guts or I’d have to rescue you from somewhere or I’d find out that Stark was making you stay away… But you push me away, beg me to leave, and won’t talk to me. Then you tell me you don’t hate me, that I didn’t do anything.” He throws up his hands, both metal and flesh, in frustration, before roughly pushing them back through his hair. “I know you feel guilty, but why can’t you just tell me what it is? What was so important that you had to run away from me?”

Now or never.

“You,” you state, finally working up the courage to look at him again.

Bucky’s eyes go wide at your words, then he tilts his head as his eyebrows pull together. He’s visibly perplexed by your response as his hands fall back onto the table.

“What?” he asks you, bewildered.

“You. That’s what was so important to me.”

“You left me… because I mattered to you?” His eyebrows lower even more, the crease between them deepening.

“Because I couldn’t lose you.” Your voice breaks despite your best efforts.

His eyes soften at this, but his confusion is still evident.

“Because I’ve only ever wanted to protect you,” you continue, softly. “To make you happy. And I almost killed you.” You whisper the last part.

Now his eyebrows shoot up. He’s silent for a minute.

“That wasn’t you.” He shakes his head stubbornly.

You bark out what sounds like a humorless laugh.

“Yes, it was. I almost killed you, and you didn’t even fight it.” Your own voice starts to rise. For a moment, you’re angry at him. For making this harder for you. For not seeing how much danger you presented to him. For ever loving you in the first place.

“But… I couldn’t move,” Bucky replies, taken aback with your response. “None of us could. We were totally helpless. You were the one that killed that thing, you saved us.”

“But what if I hadn’t? I can’t put the team in that kind of danger again. I can’t put you in that kind of danger again.” Fear mixes in with your anger.

“We’re always in danger,” he remarks, voice softening as he continues. “But you… you had the strength to push that thing out of your head. You won’t put us in danger, you’ll keep us safe.”

His words echo in your mind.

--

Movement beside you wakes you from your sleep. It’s Bucky. He’s muttering something incoherently, starting to thrash back and forth in the bed. A nightmare.

You’d dealt with this before. Although his nightmares had decreased in frequency, and by a lot according to him, they still hadn’t stopped completely. You hated seeing him like this.

You sit up, reaching over to flick on the lamp beside your bed. A faint warm glow floods the room. Bucky’s chest is heaving beside you, his breathing rapid.

You look over and study Bucky’s face. It’s contorted with some kind of distress. His mouth is still moving but you can’t make sense of the sounds. You gently graze your hand across the crown of his head, calling his name in a soothing voice. You’d previously established that soft touches and noises were the best way to rouse him; anything too rough or harsh might add to his hysteria.

You gently thread your fingers through his hair, and his eyes flutter open. His steely gaze is filled with anxiety and terror for a moment, before his eyes settle on you.

“Hey, Buck,” you murmur, “It’s okay. I’m here.”

His breathing slows as you continue to run your hand through his hair, and as he gazes around the room, his panic fades. He sighs and looks back to you.

“I’m sorry for waking you,” he whispers, voice raspy.

You pause your movement to untangle your fingers from his hair to run your thumb across his cheekbone and smile softly at him.

“I don’t mind. Do you want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head slightly, and closes his eyes as your hand find its way back to his scalp. You turn off the light, and when you lie back, Bucky slings an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He lays his head on your shoulder.

“Thank you for just being here, doll. You make me feel… safe.” You can feel the faint vibrations of his voice. He yawns.

“I’ll always be here. I’ll keep you safe, I promise. Don’t worry.”

--

“Do you remember when I promised to keep you safe?” You ask delicately with the memory fresh in your mind.

Bucky pauses for a second as he thinks, then gently replies, “Of course.”

You take a deep breath.

“I made you a promise, and I intended to keep it.” You sigh. “That’s why I had to leave. I had to protect you from me.”

He stares back at you, softly, looking for any hint of a lie in your words. He studies your face intently before responding.

“Did you think I wouldn’t understand? You know I’ve been there before. I used to feel the exact same way.” Concern clouds his voice and face along with, at last, comprehension. “That is… before you showed me I didn’t have to.”

You swallow.

“You could have talked to me. I would have been able to help you. To do what you did for me,” he says earnestly.

“I know… I just… I couldn’t face you. If I had, I don’t think I would’ve ever been able to leave,” you admit, finally.

“Why?” He quirks an eyebrow at you.

“I cared about you too much to stay… but I guess I knew you’d understand, you’d find a way to talk me out of it.” You pause, searching for the right words. “I would have been too weak to do what I needed to do.”

“Needed to?”

“It was what was best for you. I’d leave, we wouldn’t see each other again, you’d move on and so would I.”

He scoffs at you. “Best for me? And who gave you the right to decide that?”

You stare back, his response taking you by surprise.

“Do I not get a say in my own life?” he counters, crossing his arms defiantly. “I can make decisions for myself, thank you very much. What I do with my life is my concern. You can’t make up my mind for me.”

You scramble for words, mouth dropping open at his sudden audacity. “I-I just wanted you to be safe-“

“And you know what?” he cuts you off, barely pausing his protest for your answer. “I know you’re not dangerous to me. But even if you were, it would be up to me, not you, if I would put myself in that danger.”

You recoil slightly, and he inhales, calming himself down and pressing his eyes shut. When they open again, the rage is gone from his face, replaced with a look of sincerity sparkling in his bright eyes. He begins speaking again, gingerly this time.

“I know what’s best for me, and it’s always been you.” His eyes bore into yours. “You said you wanted us to move on. Did that work for you?”

You shake your head.

“Me either.”

Your eyes meet and you share a look filled with a mix of emotions; anguish, despair, loneliness, heartbreak, and above all, longing.

Finally, your resolve breaks. Bucky’s been right all along; you always knew he would be. You were terrified of hurting him, but you couldn’t protecthim if you weren’t with him. You were still worried about your powers, but running from them wasn’t the answer. Before all of this, you had learned to control them. It wasn’t your fault that day, but it was you who stopped things from going too far. Somehow, you fought that thing out of your head. It was because of Bucky, you realize. Bucky was your strength. You two were stronger together. With him, you could make it through anything.

You break away first, and manage to choke out “I’m sorry,” as your emotions overwhelm you.

In an instant, Bucky is beside you and pulling you up into his strong arms. Without thinking, you bury your head into his chest, and oh god, you missed this. His embrace is like a blanket, warm and comforting, as you let all of the feelings you had buried deep within yourself pour out. You’re grateful Bucky is supporting all of your weight as you cling to him, because you certainly would have collapsed by now otherwise. You feel him press his lips to the top of your head, and his breath hitches. You remain just like that for a few minutes; you leaning on Bucky as he holds you tightly to him. You swear you can hear him sniffle.

Bucky picks you up and sits you both on the bed as you remain curled into him. When you finally break away and look up at him, his eyes are watery, confirming your suspicions. The two of you just gaze at each other for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry, Bucky… I’m so sorry,” you repeat, and he just shakes his head at you.

“You thought you were doing the right thing.”

“I didn’t really, though. I was... I was just scared.” You look down before whispering, “I’m still scared.”

He cups your chin and raises your face so you’re looking at him again.

“We’ll work through this, together.” The sincerity and warmth in his eyes makes you swoon.

“How can you forgive me for all of this?” You blink at him disbelief.

“Easy, doll. I love you.”

-

Tag List: @timemngmtoptimisationproblems @lowkeybuckyb @banner-and-bucky-are-life @buckybarnestrashh

Forever Tags: @thecrazyoneshavetakenover

[p-starlord]

hello;

"Need somthin'?"

[redwhiteandlionheart-blog]

FF + Bucky.

[ Steve doesn’t need a story on the internet to think about Bucky. He’s had shopworn fantasies of Bucky since he had hormones. Since he realized that not just dames where pretty. It seems that he’d always been half in love with Bucky. Not the same way he’d loved Peggy— with distance and respect and hope.

                                                                     He’d loved Bucky because there hadn’t been a choice.

Steve loved Bucky up close and personal, drunk and sick and dirty and poor. Loved him like reality even though he only got close to it in dreams. 

And Steve is red as a tomato, but he still reads it. Thinks about all the casual touches that belong to a different Steve- a different lifetime. About arms around each other’s shoulders, Bucky’s hot breath when he’d lean close to tell him a dirty joke just to watch Steve blush or squirm or glare halfheartedly. 

                                                Maybe it’s just too accurate.

Because Steve has to think that if it were… and if Bucky. It would be always be Bucky. Bucky and his confident grin and laughter, the way that he was unashamed and bold.

                                                                   And Steve thinks about opportunities passed by and wished he’d been braver in ways that didn’t involve the battlefield. ]

             ”Bucky never had a problem getting dames, so somehow I doubt he would have been desperate enough to ask for my help.”

[sbjct7]

+1   →   thewinterphantom

            “Oh, fuck.”

                    [ now she'd done it—- she'd been too distracted to pay attention to her target and she'd lost him. he'd been taken out by another that clearly had been paying more attention. she continues to stare at her dead target for a few more seconds until she sees—- ]

                                “Hey, face full of fuck!”

                         [ she shouts, as graceful as ever, at the one she believes took down her target. ]

[winterphantom]

Running: Chapter 5

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

The moment you've been dreading.

Read HERE on Ao3!

-

You’re sitting in a coffee shop when you see him.

Caffeine had become necessary for you to keep functioning despite your constant sleepless nights. You hadn’t heard from Tony; he said he’d only contact you if he got information. Otherwise, he was being careful just in case Bucky was somehow tracking you through him. Since you were left to your own devices, your mind was continuously wandering. Most of your days were filled with paranoia and a jumble of memories about Bucky that you wished you could forget. As the aroma of coffee surrounds you, something stirs in your head.

--

You wake up to the scent of coffee and… pancakes?

You push your hair out of your face and slide out of bed, grabbing one of Bucky’s sweaters from the ground. Pulling it on, you shuffle out to the kitchen.

Bucky is standing over the stove, frying pan in hand, humming a tune you don’t recognize. His hair is messily tied back, and you take a minute to appreciate the way his white t-shirt clings to his torso.

You stifle a laugh as you watch him move, and he turns and meets your gaze. He grins at you and continues with his cooking.

“Someone’s happy this morning,” you quip at him, unable to stop the smile spreading across your face.

He flips the pancakes onto a plate, and slides it over to you.

“Always, doll.” His blue eyes twinkle as he smirks at you. He watches as you take a bite.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s good, and I also think you’re cute.” He chuckles at that. “Thank you for this, Buck.”

He leans over and kisses your forehead.

“Anything for my best girl.”

--

Something snaps you back to reality. You feel like… you’re being watched.

You look up and lock eyes with him. The eyes you were just imagining. Only they’re not sparkling and warm this time. They’re wide, shocked, and… empty.

Bucky stands, frozen in place, just inside of the door. You barely register the rest of him and your gazes stay locked. He’s wearing a baseball cap pulled low over his face and a dark jacket with the collar popped up. A smattering of stubble covers his once clean-shaven jawline. The most noticeable difference, though, is the deep purple bags underneath his eyes. Looks like you’re not the only one in desperate need of caffeine. You imagine you look much the same to him.

You’re unable to tear your eyes away from his. You feel a pang in your chest. As much as you want to run to him, to pull him into your arms… you know you can’t. Not after all that’s happened. Still, your resolve falters for just a second. It hurts to see him again; a reminder of what could have been.

You realize you have to get away, and panic starts to set in. You can’t let all of this be for nothing, you can’t let him bring you back. Bucky still hasn’t moved, his expression unchanging. You rise, slowly, from your table, careful not to jolt him out of whatever trance he’s in. You back away, grateful that you’d been to this café before and knew that there was a back door. You turn quickly and speed down the narrow hallway leading to the door. Your streak of luck continues, as just as you make it out the door, a bus pulls up to the stop a few feet down the road. You rush over and don’t look back again until you’re stepping into it. Bucky doesn’t seem to have followed you. You know now that he’s seen you, it’s only a matter of time until he finds you again. But just for a moment, you allow yourself to breathe a sigh of relief as you take a seat, alone, leaving you with just the pounding of your own heart in your ears and the ghost of the man you loved imprinted behind your eyes.

--

You ride the bus for what feels like hours. You have no idea where it’s going, driving through an unfamiliar part of the strange city you’d been calling home this week. When you can finally hear your own thoughts over the roaring of your heart, you pull out your phone and punch in Tony’s number. Maybe he is tracking it, but Bucky’s already found you, so what does it matter?

“Hey kid, you okay?” There’s an edge of panic in Tony’s voice.

“I saw him,” you reply quietly.

There’s a pause.

“Did… did he see you?” You hear some rustling and clattering in the background. He must be in the lab.

“Yeah.”

“So, what happened?” he asks, and distantly you hear him muttering something to someone else.

“I left.”

A surprised chuff comes from the other end of the line.

“He just let you leave?” More indistinct chatter. “Banner’s here, by the way. You’re on speaker.”

“Hey, Bruce,” you mumble, “I don’t know. He sort of… froze. I ran before he could follow me.”

“He probably felt like he was seeing a ghost. Maybe he couldn’t tell if you were actually real… you know how he can get.” You wince at the words. You know Tony is probably right, and it hurts. “He’ll find you again.” It wasn’t a question.

“I know.”

Another silence.

“What are you going to do?” Tony asks.

You sigh.

“Honestly, I have no clue. Either of you geniuses have any ideas?”

“Sorry kid, you’re on your own for this one.”

“Bruce?”

“Nothing you haven’t heard before. Good luck.”

--

“Just so you know, this whole running thing, it doesn’t really work. You can’t run from it forever. I’ve tried.”

You’re sitting with Bruce while Tony’s out finalizing some things before you leave.

“How am I supposed to face him? I have to go, Bruce.”

“I’ve been there, and I respect that you need space. But he’s like us, you know. If anyone can understand what you’re going through, it’s him.” He looks at you pointedly.

“So can you.”

“Which is why I’m telling you that this won’t fix it. Go and get some space for a while. Clear your head. And then come back.”

You don’t respond.

“Trust me, you can’t ever really escape this. It’s part of who you are. You’re better off with us, where you can keep learning how to get everything under control.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” you say, quietly.

“You’re hurting him more by leaving.”

You shake your head. After a pause, Bruce starts talking again.

“Just don’t be gone for too long, okay? It’s more fun in the lab with you around.” He offers you a small smile.

You return it, albeit a bit sadly.

“I’ll miss you guys too.”

--

It’s dark when you get back to your hotel. You debated just skipping town without going back there, but you didn’t want to lose what remained of your belongings and money, although you knew Tony had plenty more to spare. You still didn’t have a plan. You didn’t know if you’d ever be ready to face Bucky. But how else could you push him away? You had been running from him for weeks, but you knew you weren’t strong enough to purposely hurt him to his face, especially if he was in as poor of a state as you’d been told that he was. You kept telling yourself it was what was best for him, wondering if that would be enough when the time came.

Turns out that would be sooner than you had expected.

When you open the door of your hotel room, you realize your mistake. There’s a figure sitting on the bed. You recognize his silhouette immediately.

You had no plan, and Bucky Barnes was sitting mere feet away from you.

[winterphantom]

Running: Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

You pushed away the one person who would understand you better than anyone else… but how long can you keep running?

Read HERE on Ao3!

-

There were two conditions to your arrangement. Number one: you had to stay in the country. Two: you had to keep in touch with Tony. So, you pry your forehead away from the cool glass window of the train and pull your phone out of your backpack.

A backpack and a suitcase.

That was all you had now.

You try to think of something interesting to say, simply so that you don’t keep sending him the same dozen-word emails. You start to wonder if that isn’t satisfactory enough, and what that would mean for you. You don’t think he would blow your cover, but you never know. Things weren’t exactly going well with the Avengers and the moment and you definitely didn’t want to push him.

Especially since it was your fault.

So you type out a few phrases about what you’d done recently and some slightly interesting random things that you’d seen. That would have to do. You hit send.

You didn’t really expect a reply, you rarely got one anyways. An update on the situation here and there. Occasionally he’d check in and ask how you were, but you usually avoided that type of discussion, so he’d basically given up. You didn’t blame him.

Today, however, you kind of wished that he’d reply. You hated to admit it, but you were feeling kind of lonely. You’d never admit that to Tony, of course; you knew exactly what he would suggest... And anything would be better than that. So you bear it as you turn your gaze out to the window again.

Surprisingly, you get your wish. Your phone dings moments later.

 I need to talk to you asap. I’m calling in 15. Be ready, I’ll have to be quick.

Tony

This makes you nervous. He’s not supposed to call you; it’s risky. Someone could overhear you or, if they got their hands on his phone, trace your new number. Someone. Okay, one person in particular.

Luckily, your train stops at its destination. You get off and hop into a cab, making it to your hotel room moments before the phone rings. You take a few deep breaths to calm your racing heart, then accept the call.

--

You’d met the Avengers when you took a position assisting Bruce and Tony in the lab. At least, that’s what you told people. In reality, that was only half of the truth. You usually left out the part where Tony Stark had reached out to you after a certain incident (and some unfortunately placed security cameras) brought your “gift” to his attention.

That was the nice way of saying that you set part of his tower on fire. Accidentally, of course.

So, Tony had offered to help you tame your fiery powers and in return you’d help out in his lab. There were worse things to have on your resume than work experience with a billionaire, so you’d hesitantly accepted. That and of course you would rather have the option to not set things on fire every time you got angry. You actually ended up really enjoying working with him and Bruce. Along with your genuine interest in science, the latter understood your worries about your lack of control over your powers; he also (obviously) struggled with the same thing. You and Tony quickly fell into a routine of sarcasm and amicable banter. After a few months, they felt like family. A home away from home.

Despite this, Tony had made it clear that his end goal was bringing you in as a member of the Avengers. So, during this time, you met with all sorts of trainers and specialists Tony had hired in order to get a hold over your abilities. You made progress, and while you weren’t a hundred percent sure that you had your powers under complete control, things were definitely improving.

Then came the time to introduce you to the rest of the team. You’d seen a few of them around while working in the compound, but you usually tried to keep out of their way… and also you were totally star struck. But, to your surprise, everything went pretty smoothly when Tony and Bruce introduced you to the team. You got along well with all of them. Maybe too well with one.

So while you weren’t yet officially a member of the team, you kind of felt like one. You’d moved into the compound and started accompanying them on some missions, although you usually would wait in the jet with Bruce. You two were last resorts, at least until you got yourself more in control. You had only ever actively participated in one.

That was when everything went wrong.

And then you ran.