#they also come off as anger because it is a much easier emotion for barton to process than sadness

[mad-hunts]

[stuckybarton]

Red Velvet Cake

Summary:   Behind the sweet smile and angelic personality was a spitfire when someone dared destroy her little bakery in the heart of New York. Steve finds that out the hard way when his girlfriend's bakery becomes collateral damage in a small fight in New York. Warning: Profanities. Mild Violence. (Two Loud Slaps to be specific). Grammar Errors. Not Beta’d. Characters: Unnamed Female Character x Steve Rogers Words: 1,775 A/N: I don’t know, I just thought of this idea and thought why not. Masterlist

You had never thought your life would become this wild, but you've gone with the flow. Who would have ever thought that finally starting this bakery in the heart of New York. It was tough, with just a handful of employees, would bring you into so much chaos in your once peaceful life.

Meeting the Avengers had been a wild ride with a smooth beginning for you. First meeting Sam, a man that was looking for a quick snack post-work out. A man with a soft smile and quick quips that brought a smile on everyone's faces every single time he would come to visit. Then eventually, he came not alone, but with two of his best friend and your life changed ever since.

Bucky Barnes was the mellow of the trio, preferring to stay in the background while Sam would try his hardest to flirt with you and push his other friend with you. But he always had this charm on him that had a few of your female employees swooning just by the simply nickname of Doll he would throw at them.

But Sam's other friend had all his attention on you just as much as you had your entire attention on him. The dame that always spoiled him with sweets and made him enjoy morning runs more now that your bakery become their daily stop after.

It started out with the flirtation, at least that was what Steve believed it to be. Having been used to Sam's daily flirtation, you got so immune to it that it had become easier to hide the warmth in your cheeks or the heart eyes that Sam and Bucky were once quick to point out when Steve wasn't looking. Eventually it ended with him finally asking you out for lunch and the rest, as they say was history between the two of you.

Eventually, it had brought you into the circle of what was his team. The Avengers. Starting with one Tony Stark that had visited your bakery one fair morning and brought everything in your bakery long before the trio would come for their visit. It was an eventful day for you, that much you could admit. Everyone had the rest of the day to themselves and gave you time to spend with Steve, as annoyed as he was to not be able to have his usual treats. You made him your special apple pie as compensation, much to his enjoyment.

Then it was the rest of the team, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Vision. Visiting after getting a taste of your pastries that Tony Stark had generously provided for the team. Now like the trio, you now have another trio you can call as your regulars. Then there was Clint Barton, Thor, and Dr. Bruce Banner that eventually came to visit after everyone had egged them on and they would come for a few pastries and coffee, but not as much as the rest of the bunch. You were alright with that, being able to meet Steve's team and knowing each and every single one of them were good people in their own little way was enough for you.

Weeks turned into months, and months now turned to almost two years. Your life at the bakery was filled with ups and downs just as much as your relationship with one Steve Rogers. The constant fear you had when he was on a mission, uncertain whether he would come back alive or not.  Then there was the more often than not times that you were too consumed with the bustling number of customers than you only had time to give him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before helping out on the cashier. It had once been a fight between the two of you because of your line of work, but you would constantly compromise. He was out saving the world while you were living the dream you had always wanted for yourself with baking. Instead of his apartment in Brooklyn, Steve was now living with you, in the humble little apartment you had above the bakery. Your little piece of heaven.

This life you had created with Steve was something you had never thought you'd have for yourself but you were enjoying it immensely. You would want nothing more in your life. Until things had gone horribly bad and you want nothing more than to kill Steven Grant Rogers and the rest of the Avengers.

~

Y/N was going to kill him. That much Steve had known while they continued on with the debriefing. A quarter of New York City was wiped clean by the attack of the alien overlord attempting their luck on the planet. As much as Tony had assured that they could stay in the tower while repairs were being made, He was still uncertain with what you would be feeling because of it.

Nothing hurts him more than seeing you sad or disappointed.

"What's the ETA on the repair?" he inquired as soon as the meeting was done.

"More or less two weeks. We've had our team assure Y/N that her employees would be paid full for the two weeks while we are doing repairs." Tony explained. "Last time I heard she barely spoke a word while she helped her employees with cleaning up."

Steve could only sigh, annoyance peaking through his mind. It was worst than he thought.

"Mister Stark, Ms. Y/L/N is on her way to the meeting room." F.R.I.D.A.Y announced.

Before the A.I could finish with the announcement, the sudden slam of the door had everyone's head turn, every single one ready for another fight. But the sight of the innocent Y/N looking displeased brought everyone to a slight calm. There was still a problem, but this was better than another alien attack.

"Babe-"

The resounding slap had everyone else wincing. So much for the Super Serum. Everyone could see the red imprint on Steve's face and your shaky hand responsible for the said mark on the Captain's face.

"Your fucking shield destroyed the ramekins." you snapped, Steve could practically see you shaking from where you stood in front of him.

You were nothing, compared to him, a Super Soldier. But just the sight of you, fuming to the nose made everyone believe that you can easily take him on. This was a genuine surprise for Steve. He had seen so much side of his girlfriend of nearly two years. Through many stages of emotional turmoil, happiness, sadness, annoyance, dysphoria, and that godforsaken puppy dog eyes that he could never say no to. But this, the sight of you  angry, genuinely furious was the last thing he would have ever thought to see from you.

"Everyone has a long day, Y/N." Tony approached and the glare than now focused on her made it very well known that his presence and his response was the biggest mistake he has ever made in the moment. "Why don--"

Tony wasn't able to finish his sentence as he gets to experience the same slap handed to him by you. Without the Super Soldier Serum, the sound of the slap resounded even louder than the former. Everyone was left in a mix of shock and the need to hold in their laughter at the shock look than now lingered on Tony's face as he rubbed his red cheek.

"As for you," you snapped pointing your finger right into Tony. "You're going to pay for both the fuckin bakery and my apartment upstairs. Of all the places Stark, you just had to throw the alien on my newly renovated bathroom."

Tony could only nod.

"Your people also need to talk to my employees, some of them are injured because a big fucking green dickhead thought it would be nice to throw alien matters into the basement like basketballs through the hoops." you snapped side-glancing towards the guilty Bruce Banner that refused to make any eye contact with you. "You're covered for their hospital bills, therapy, and two weeks of their supposed shift."

Tony gaped nodding.

"Jesus, why the fuck does it always have to be New York, better yet, why the hell does it have to be in the US? There are so many fucking countries in this world." You ranted turning your attention back to Steve that now broke into a small smile at your outburst. "You're not off the hook. We're staying here, but you're sleeping on the coach until further notice."

What smile he had now comes falling from his face. Blinking, this was a dangerous situation. Far more dangerous than his earlier encounter with the aliens only hours ago. But all he could do was nod, not knowing if any protest from him would result in a worst punishment.

"Sam," you turned to the man that now looked scared to be your focus. "Can you show me to the kitchen? I'll try making everyone someone to eat. God knows you're all starving." you request, all signs of anger now slowly dissolving from your features.

Steve didn't know what scared him more at this point, your anger or how quick you were able to recover from said anger. As Sam escorted you out of the meeting room, the rest of the team also made their way out to help you in whatever you may need in the kitchen. It now left Steve and Tony alone, practically still feeling the aftermath of your slap.

"Having second thought about proposing, Lover Boy?" Tony finally broke the awkward silence.

Taking a deep breath, the first chuckle all day finally escaped his lips.

No, he was far from having second thoughts. The engagement ring hidden in his locker room made it evident to him what he was about to do on their 2nd anniversary. It would take some convincing on your part after what happened. But you loved him enough to forgive him for what happened, since technically it wasn't really his fault why the bakery was ruined.

"The proposal is still a go, Tony." he responds finally leaving the meeting room to making his way to the kitchen, already hard at work with cooking what he assumed was spaghetti and meatballs and his favourite red velvet cake.

"Steve's not having any cake right?" Nat asked as soon as she caught sight of him.

"You know what, Romanoff--"

"Not even a fucking crumb." Your response even with you facing away from him had everyone roaring in laughter and Steve rolling his eyes even with the smile on his lips growing bigger at the situations.

The things he has to endure for love.

[lilxberry]

You Owe Me 20 Bucks - Steve Rogers

Synopsis;

Steve just simply wants to protect you, you find it extremely annoying how his plans to protect you get in the way of you doing your job as an Avenger, and Bucky and Sam have a running bet.

Warnings: A lil bit of language. Arguing. Mentions of violence. Mentions of betting. Wack ass stuff man. Fluff.

Words: 2,030

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader 

_______________

You walked into the meeting room, ready to be briefed by Fury for the next mission. This would be your first assignment in 2 months since your injury. Ever since you had woken up, everyone had babied you, especially a certain super soldier, which ticked you off to no end.

You took your place in-between Wanda and Bucky and prepared yourself for the droning voice of Fury and the nagging of Steve. “Hey, you good?”

You inwardly groaned at Bucky’s question. It was nice that the team cared so much but it was a bitch to deal with all their incessant babying and over protectiveness. “I’m fine, Buck, really.”

As if he could sense your irritation, he retreated and opted to leave you be. You signed in relief and sunk back into your chair. Just as you had gotten comfortable, Fury entered, followed by Maria then Mr. Patriarchy himself. “Avengers.” Fury simply greeted to grab everyone’s attention.

And so, the briefing had commenced and passed by, the only thing left on the check list was to discuss who will be part taking in the mission. “A team of 6 will be going in, the others will stay behind and only move out when needed. Stark, Barnes, Barton, Maximoff, Y/L/N, you 5 will be joining Rogers at the base.”

Before any body got the chance to voice their readiness, Steve had spoken up. “Y/L/N isn’t ready.”

You saw red as he had easily diminished your ability to be out in the field. “Like fuck I’m not ready.” You quickly stood from your seat so fast, the chair had scrapped against the floor before falling over harshly.

“If I say you’re not ready then you’re not ready.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest, standing his ground. Thing is, you were stubborn, every Avenger and agent knew that about you.

You walked towards in quick, long strides and stared him down, inches from his face. “It’s my body, I know when it’s damn ready.” You stepped back and looked towards Fury. “So, when we due to head out?”

“In an hour.”

“Great, see you guys at the jet.” You quickly turned on your heel and headed towards your room, ignoring the calls of your peers.

“I guess that’s all. Dismissed.” Fury disbanded the meeting, sending the remaining Avengers to prepare for their mission or go back to lazing around, ready to be called out as back up. Steve sighed heavily through his nose as her closed his eyes and pinched the bridge between his pointer finger and thumb.

As Bucky passed his best friend, he patted his shoulder and flashed him a tight-lipped smile, sympathising with his friend. This is gonne be one long mission.

_______________

The time came for the team to meet at the jet. You stepped on to the platform and headed over to the jet to meet with the others. Just as you placed one foot on to the flying metal contraption, the blonde of the 40’s due spoke. “I said you’re not ready.”

You rolled your eyes and chose to ignore his complaints. Ensuring your gear that you’re decked out in is securely strapped on, you made haste towards a free seat at the back off the jet, unfortunately getting blocked off by Steves’ broad and muscular form. You huffed and quickly side stepped him, proceeding to sit.

“No matter how much you nag, they’re still gonna tag along, dude. May as well give up before you’re driven mad.” Clint commented, eliciting a soft giggle from Wanda and a snicker from Tony, both trying desperately to cover their amusement up in any way available to them.

“He has a point. Maybe instead of butting heads, you could help her through this mission.” Bucky spoke directly to his friend.

“Or they could actually listen and not go.” Steve narrowed his eyes towards your ignorant and slouched form, folding his arms across his chest. Tony rolled his eyes before making his way through the jet to pilot it.

“Okay losers, can we all quieten down now. Daddy’s got a jet to fly.” And with that, Tony had the jet off the platform and heading to your destination. Steve huffed and sat opposite you next to Bucky. He stared you down whilst you continuously ignored him through the whole flight.

_______________

“What the hell, Steve?! I had it handled!” You yelled at your fellow Avenger as you all boarded the jet, ready to head back to the compound.

“Didn’t look like it!” Steve had replied, matching your volume.

You scoffed and threw your arms up into the arm in exasperation. “You have a seriously fucked up hero complex, you know that?!”

The yelling match continued between you both throughout most of the flight. By this point, the others within the small confides of the jet had pounding migraines and are in need of about 20 Advils each.

As soon as the jet landed back within the grounds of the compound, you both stormed out of the jet, heading to your separate rooms, both slamming them shut as loudly as possible, hoping the other would hear and convey how pissed you were.

“Ah, young love.” Tony quipped as his suit disassembled from around his form.

_______________

It had been a full week of you ignoring Steve. He had tried previously throughout the week, but you blanked him, simply as if he hadn’t existed. He knew he seriously messed up the second enemy after enemy headed towards you. He knew you could have easily defended yourself and have taken them out even easier but, you were right. He does have a fucked up hero complex.

But mostly, he always felt the need to protect you. Falling in love with a completely independent and able Avenger is a tough gig. Apparently.

Steve had had enough and decided he was going to talk to you, whether you wanted to or not. He marched with determination straight to your room and knocked brashly. He heard you groan from the opposite side of the door before the light patter of your feet pad along the floor. You swung the door open widely with a look of annoyance across your face, but it had quickly faltered as you tried to close the door just as hastily. He jammed his foot between the door and its frame.

“Leave me alone Steve.” He could easily detect the irritation and impatience within your voice. He pushed the rest of the way into your room and you groaned loudly once again. “You clearly don’t understand English, should I try Spanish? German? Ukrainian? Mandarin?”

“Okay, I get it, you’re pissed and you don’t want to see me. Well tough shit.” He stepped closer to you as you stood your ground. “We need to talk whether you like it or not.”

“Oh yeah? And what do we need to talk about exactly?”

Steve inhaled deeply before continuing. “About how you’re acting. You can’t act like a stroppy teenager whenever someone gives you a helping hand during a mission.”

You scoff, unbelieving of what he is saying. “That wasn’t a ‘helping hand’, that was undermining myself as an abled agent and my abilities to handle the enemy. That wasn’t a ‘helping hand’, that was throwing me to the side while you did all the work.” Your shoulders heaved up and down as your breathing became heavier the more anger filled you.

“Jesus Christ Y/N, I was trying to help! I led the mission that day and it’s my responsibility if any of you screw up. All I did was ensure none of you did.” Steves’ voice raised to match yours.

“NO! You ensured I didn’t screw up because “I’M NOT READY!”” At some point you had started to pace around the room in an attempt to calm you.

Steve ran his hand down his face as he groaned loudly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, willing himself to calm himself down also. “I just care about you Y/N/N. Please, why can’t you just understand that.”

“Well, you should go care about someone else. I didn’t see you hounding Starks’ ass about being careful.”

“Jesus H Christ, I’m in love with you, alright?!” Steve had exclaimed loudly in exasperation. You froze on the spot and slowly turned, shock evident across your face.

“Wha-what?” You stuttered out in a quiet whisper. Steve registered what had just slipped passed his lips and opened and closed his mouth, attempting to come up with some form of excuse for what he had said. “What did you just say Steve?” You spoke, your voice raised, pronunciation clear.

Steve sighed and looked down before tilting his head in the slightest to gaze into your eyes as he spoke sheepishly. “I said I’m in love with you, I love you.” He searched your face for the slightest inkling of reciprocation in the mix of a million emotions displayed across it. It had been a good minute or so of silence as you comprehended what he had just told you. He began to feel self-conscious and paranoia presented itself within him deeply. “Please say something.” He pleaded, his voice quiet.

This seemed to have snapped you out of whatever trance had engulfed you and you swallowed thickly as you looked up at him with wide eyes. You willed yourself to be brave as if you were back out in the field. You charged forward and crashed your lips to his, the move bolder than what you were used to doing.

You grasp on to him tightly, afraid he would pull away, although, you knew that was not going to be the case for he instantaneously reciprocated the intimate action with as much gusto and desperation. His larger hands came to hold on to your hips, knuckles turning white from how tightly his hands balled up your shirt.

Sooner than you had liked, you both parted and laid your foreheads against the others as you panted, desperate for any intake of oxygen. “I love you too, Steve.” You whispered breathlessly, looking up into his beautiful, blue orbs. They had even seemed to have an extra shine in this moment as you gazed deeply into them.

He smiled a huffed out a small chuckle, his thumb rubbing up and down against your side in a soothing and loving manner. “God, you drive me crazy.”

You both continued to stand there for what felt like hours when in actuality, was only a minute or so. Suddenly, a loud knock at the door echoed throughout the room before opening and revealing Sam and Bucky on the other side. “Hey, you guys comin-oh, damn, our bad. We’ll uh, leave you to it.” And with that, Sam quickly turned and shoved Bucky out along with him as he closed the door behind them.

“I think you owe me 20 bucks.” You heard Bucky’s voice through the door which had muffled the sound slightly.

“Man, I was sure they’d go another week before one of ‘em confessed.” You heard Sam whine as you presumed while he fished out the bills from his pocket to hand over to his apparent betting partner.

Their interaction had caused both you and Steve let out a small bout of laugh before turning your attention back towards one another. “I guess we should head down for food, huh?” Steve suggested whilst he had a boyish grin etched upon his face.

All you could do was mirror his smile and release a near inaudible ‘yes’ as you nod and step back, taking his larger hand into one of your own. He quickly pulled you towards him to lay a final pure, sweet, gentle kiss upon your plump lips. “Let’s go.”

He led you out of your room and towards the elevator, ready to join the others for food. As you stood in the elevator, you felt Steves’ gaze on you. You turned you head and sent him a wolfish smirk. “Bet you 20 bucks that they told everyone.”

Steve threw his head back in laughter as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and brought you closer into his side. “You’re on.”

_______________

Those pants are nice, yeah, just the pants, definitely just the pants I’m admiring, nothing else... *definitely is looking square at his ass* ...yeah man, nice pants...

_______________

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I did a Steve fic, noice

I’ve been super sucky with fics recently but I mean, college stuff, losing family, this, plus messing my knee up badly yesterday after accidently yeeting myself down some stairs, it be like that 

I really hope you enjoy this

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

[a-walk-in-silence]

Wired On Coffee

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Word Count: 5.5k

Summary: The time heist was successful, but losses were made. It's time to assemble the gauntlet and end this thing for good. But is this really the end?

Warnings: Endgame, character death, mourning, cursing, mentions of experimentation, survivor's guilt, HYDRA, backhanded comments, lewd comments/situations (still v PG-13 in this sense, not so much the language), violence, Everybody Will Live AU (*insert the Doctor Who gif here*)

A/N: WELCOME TO THE SEQUEL OF THE SEQUEL OF- this is old. Okay fr tho we're almost done! One more part! Holy crap! This is a rough chapter but hopefully everyone loves it cuz things should get a LITTLE BIT easier in the last one? I hope?

Past Part | Masterlist

Your feet planted firmly on the platform as you grabbed onto Steve's arm to try and balance yourself. Your mind was whirling, so much had happened. But little did you know that it would be getting worse.

Across from you, Clint collapsed to his knees, dropping the stone onto the platform. Even though he had only been gone for maybe half a day, he looked exhausted. A quick look around told you why. There was an empty space in the circle. "Clint?" you cautiously asked, taking a step towards him.

He looked up at you, pain etched across his face. "A soul for a soul," he said, eyes filled with a sudden anger. "That was the price for the stone. The life of someone you love. And we fought to keep the other alive. I guess she won."

You kneeled down next to him, gently reaching out to grab his hand. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't have sent you two there. I-"

He flinched, tearing his hand away from you. "Who do you suppose we should have sent? You and Tony? Rhodey and Tony? Bruce and Nat? Whose life are we dealing with? It doesn't matter." His eyes were cold as he glared at you.

"Clint, I didn't mean to-" you started, but he once again cut you off.

"No, you didn't mean to hurt anyone. But you weren't there." You looked down at your hands, unable to meet his angry eyes. "You didn't see her lifeless body at the bottom of the cliff."

"Barton, that's enough," Steve said, grabbing your arm and pulling you away. "You're hurting. This is a blow to everyone."

Steve held you as Clint left. Once gone, there was an air of silence that filled everyone. It almost didn't feel real. She had just been smiling at everyone, saying she would see us in a minute. Well, it was a minute later. And she wasn't here.

It was an hour later and everyone, save Nebula and Rocket, were gathered outside on the dock. Everyone was quietly in their own thoughts, trying to come to terms with the fact that Nat was dead. Steve was quiet, more so than usual. You had seen him at Peggy's funeral, and how broken he looked. You probably didn't look much better. But this was different. He only had Peggy for a few years. But Nat was one of his closest friends, up there with human Bucky and Sam. And he'd lost them all.

You rested your head on his shoulder, glancing over at Tony as he stared out across the river. He looked sad, but you knew his mind was already running through all the steps that needed to be done. You knew he would crash eventually and just break down, but he would be strong.

"Did she have any family?" Tony finally asked, breaking the silence. "Anyone that we need to tell about… this?"

Steve shifted, causing you to sit up. "Yeah. Us. We were her family." You watched as he blinked away the tears in his eyes before turning back to look out across the lake. "We can't even have a proper funeral for her."

A loud grunt made you look over at Bruce as he flung one of the benches into the lake. You flinched away from him, curling into Steve's side. Bruce finally sighed, sitting down on the dock. "She can't be gone."

"Well she is," snapped Clint. He wiped away his tears before looking at everyone. "She's gone. And she wouldn't want us to sit around and cry over her. She died so we could get the stone and bring everyone back. So we might as well honor her memory and bring everyone back."

Clint left, and everyone stayed on the dock, just for a little while longer. It was hard to move on when it was so sudden. How could anyone move on? Even if she wasn't directly your friend, or your family, it still hurt because you knew her, and Steve and Tony knew her. They were hurting. And so were you.

After another 30 or so minutes, everyone slowly found their way into the compound once more. You followed Tony into the lab, where all of the stones were laid out on a table. You knew the next step was making a glove to channel the power of the stones. So you and Tony got to work right away, being the only two that were able to even think at the moment. Progress had to be made. People needed to be brought back.

A couple of hours later, while the prototype was being tested with two of the stones to see if it could withstand holding them, Scott and Bruce joined you, trying to help as best as they could. Since you happened to have the steadiest hands, you were the one who was running the controls and moving the stones into place. Meanwhile, Bruce took over in helping Tony with the design. And Scott? Well, he was the coffee runner who also occasionally managed to bring up a good idea.

Things were moving along well for a good hour or so. You were moving the space stone into place on the glove when Steve walked in. "Can I take Y/N? We need to talk."

You sighed to yourself, guessing that this wasn't going to be a conversation about Nat and how he was hurting right now. "I'm busy, Steve," you said, eyes never leaving the task at hand as you slowly moved it closer into place.

"Y/N, we need to talk," Steve said again, causing you to almost drop the stone. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tony and Scott physically flinch, eyes now focused on what you were doing. "So can we please talk?"

Your lips pressed together into a fine line, annoyance etching across your face. Your hands were now shaking more. "I said I'm busy."

"Y/N-"

"Steve!" You dropped the stone, causing everyone in the room but you to jump for cover. But nothing happened, and you knew this. "What is so important? What part of today do you want to discuss? Could it be about seeing my mom? The fact that I created some kind of portal and was glowing blue? Or the fact that I'm some kind of fucking experiment? Or what about the fact that because of their fucking experiments, I'm the reason my mom's dead? Maybe you want to talk about the fact that I talked to my aunt and uncle for the first time in years and they didn't even know me? Which one do you want to talk about?"

Everyone was staring at you in varying degrees of confusion and shock. Tony, who had managed to miss that whole cluster fuck with your mother, looked the most shocked at your outburst. Clearly it was all new information to him. And Scott and Bruce were just confused.

Steve leaned against the doorway, and he almost looked hurt by your outburst. But too much had happened in the past 24 hours, and you couldn't really take anything more. You'd hit your limit for the day. Death. Revelations. Heartache. Extreme highs. You'd had enough.

No one talked so you sighed, turning back to your work and picking the stone back up with the tongs. "Unless you're here to screw my brains out and make me forget everything, I don't want to talk about everything. It's been too much, okay? Everything. The kiss. My mom. Peggy and Daniel. Nat. I just can't handle this right now." You put the stone into place on the glove before glancing over at Tony. "What stone is next?"

"Reality," he said. In his eyes, you saw the concern in his eyes as he watched you. Nonetheless, he got the next stone ready for you, shooting a glance at Scott. "Go get two coffees, Tic Tac." Next, he looked over to Steve. "Go. She's agitated right now and we can't have her dropping anything again."

Steve sighed behind you, followed by the sound of two receding footsteps. Everything was quiet once more as you went back to work, placing the stones in their proper place. Tomy didn't force you to talk, even though you were sure he had about a billion questions. The air was stiff and tense with unasked questions that had very obvious answers. So when Tony left the room, you knew who he went looking for. You didn't stop him, but you knew his curiosity was getting the best of him.

He was gone for a total of 20 minutes, but he managed to return before you put this last stone in place. The glove was finished. The end of this entire fiasco was coming up fast. And you weren't any better for it.

Once done, Tony clapped you on the shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I know you don't wanna talk about it, but you need to." You shot him a small glare. He put his hands up in defense. "Hey, you're talking to the king of unresolved issues. Not talking about stuff leads to anger and lashing out at people you love. Even when they are unbearably annoying."

Sighing, you set down the tongs you had been holding before standing up. "Fine. While you guys undo the snap, I'll talk to Steve." Before anyone could argue, you went and found Steve, leaving the lab where they would be performing the snap in search of Steve.

Your search didn't take long, as you found him sitting in the large open kitchen, staring into his cup of coffee. You didn't wait for him to notice you before you spoke up. "What did you want to talk about, Steve?" You tried to keep your emotions under check, to not yell, but you could still hear the slightest hint of annoyance in your voice.

He glanced up at you for a moment before looking back at his coffee. "Look," he started before pausing. He was silent for a few seconds, trying to gather his thoughts. "I… when we went to the past… with your mom and all of that stuff. We both found out things about you and your family that we didn't know before. You learned about a part of yourself that was hidden really far down. So I went looking through all of the leaked S.H.I.E.L.D. files to try and find some reports for you." He leaned down to his side and pulled out his laptop from the bag settled by his side. He turned it on and opened up a few documents before turning the computer in your direction. "I don't want to force you to talk. I know you, and that you need time to process things before you can just talk about everything. But I figured having all of the information would help you process and fill in the blanks."

You walked over to the table, sitting down in front of the laptop. On the screen was a document detailing your mother's stay at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. You skimmed over a majority of it, not necessarily understanding a lot of the jargon. "What… what is this?" 

"It's your moms full record. Apparently the doctor in charge was someone who was outed as Hydra shortly after you were born. His experiments influenced the trials that lead to the Maximoff twins having powers. Basically the folder shows that they had been lying to… well, to your mom the entire time, just so she wouldn't question any of the medicine they were giving to her. Daniel and Peggy had no clue what was happening, so there's no need to be spiteful towards them. Not that you are, but… just in case you had that doubt." When you glanced up at Steve, you saw that he was staring at his coffee, unable to look up.

"I'm sorry for snapping," you finally said after a few minutes of silence had passed. "You're hurting and I should have just sucked it up and talked. I put myself first, and that was wrong." You reached, grabbing his hand and giving it a tight squeeze. "It's okay, you can call me an ass. No snarky comments. I'll bite my tongue and you can be a jerk to me because I definitely deserve it."

He shook his head, the barest hint of a smile on his lips. "No, I don't think I will." He squeezed your hand in return. "I know you're a major pain but I do love you. Even when you make it difficult." You laughed, which finally made him look up at you. "Though I make it just as difficult, I'm sure."

You smiled, scooting closer to him. "I love you, too, pain in my ass." Leaning across the table, you pecked him gently on the lips. "I'm also sorry that I embarrassed you in front of the Science Bros with the sex comments."

"I almost took you up on the offer, you know," he teased, fingertips brushing slowly against your arm. You laughed before kissing him again. He tugged at your hand, pulling you around the table until you were sitting on his lap. When you finally separated, his hands found their way to your hips. "I could still take you up on that offer."

"Something life changing is happening on the other side of the compound and you want to have sex? Really?" You playfully pushed against his shoulder before lightly pecking his lips. "What would Peggy think?"

He groaned, forehead resting against your shoulder. "If you mention her one more time I swear-"

You interrupted his rambling by twirling your fingers in his hair, gently tugging his face from your shoulder so you could kiss him. A laugh rumbled in his chest.

A loud crash made you jump back, looking around. "What the hell was that?" you asked, looking around.

His face nuzzled into your neck, leaving light kisses across the expanse of skin. "Probably the snap," he mumbled. "It was that explosive when it was Thanos."

Your eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the soft kisses, but something just wasn't settling right. "Mm Steve, stop, stop. I don't think that was the snap. They were in a room with metal paneling to protect the glass. I think something is wrong."

His hands finally let go of your waist, so you got up. You headed towards the sound to find a giant gaping hole in the ceiling over the quantum platform. And above that was a giant ass space ship.

"Steve-" you started but you heard him running behind you. He was already off, running for the room where everyone else was located. But you heard some kind of metal grinding against metal coming from above. "Steve wait!"

But it was too late. The ship fired at the compound, blowing it sky high and sending you flying in the air. You had a split second to get the nano tech to make your suit and keep you from, ya know, dying from fall damage or something. You closed your eyes as the nanos enveloped your body, and when you heard F.R.I.D.A.Y. greet you, you opened them and activated the boosters, sending you flying sideways parallel to the ground. The impact knocked the air out of your body, and you were definitely hurting.

"Steve? Tony?" you called through the intercom. "Is anyone listening?"

You looked towards the compound, feeling your heart shatter.

"I have eyes on the glove," came the strangled voice of Clint. "I'm in the sewers somewhere. I'll try and find my way topside with the glove."

"And we're trapped," Bruce added. "I've got Rhodey and Rocket. Water levels are rising."

You surveyed the terrain and spotted Tony walking towards someone. "Tony, is that Steve?"

"Yeah… come on, buddy, you gotta get up." You watched as he helped Steve get to his feet and decided to fly over to join them. "You lose this again and I'm giving it to Morgan, got it?"

When you landed, you grabbed the shield from Tony. "Now come on, I would obviously get first dibs on bobsledding on this thing. Afterall, who's gonna teach Morgan how to do it?"

Steve snatched the shield, raising an eyebrow at you. "That's assuming I'm losing it again, L/N."

"Given your track record, it's more likely than you think, Cap." He rolled his eyes as you bumped against his hip playfully before looking around. "Okay, so that's a giant ship."

"And that's a Thanos," Tony said, motioning towards the Mad Titan. He was just sitting there. Not fighting. Not commanding an army. Just… sitting there.

"So that is," Steve said before looking at you. "Tony and I have this. Plus, I see Thor. You should go and work on recovery, see who needs help."

You wanted to argue, say you could fight, but you saw the pain in his eyes. Also, Bruce was definitely panicking in the back of your mind. You nodded in response, using the heat sensor in your suit to locate where exactly Bruce and the others were. Once spotted, you were flying away, going after them. You worked on moving as much rubble as possible, vaguely aware of the fights going on around you. You could hear Clint talking through the intercom before gasping, and you looked around. "Barton, what's happening?"

There were so many voices in your head with this intercom bullshit and you really just needed to get to Bruce. But then you heard thunder. You turned around just in time to see Steve holding Mjölnir.

Woah.

You really should be focusing but, if you were being completely honest… "That's hot."

"Y/N, focus," Steve said before going back into battle. You watched him for another couple seconds before blinking and remembering that shit that was happening around you. Right! You had to get to Bruce.

You continued to work on moving the rubble when a voice filled your head. "Y/N, Tony's currently knocked out and my messages aren't getting to him. Should I initiate Project Old Man Alarm?"

You smiled to yourself at F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s message. You had managed to rename a few of Tony's protocol names a couple days ago and you were glad he didn't notice. "Of course, we can't let him sleep through the battle, now can we? What about everyone else? Can you scan the battlefield and tell me what's happening?"

"Of course," she responded. "Thor is currently down, but his vitals appear to be fine. Captain Rogers is currently fighting Thanos, though there appears to be a wound in his leg from getting stabbed."

"He was what?"

You were certain she said something in response, but a voice was suddenly talking over the intercom. It was a voice that you hadn't heard in five years, and it almost brought a tear to your eye.

"Cap? On your left."

All around you, bright yellow portals appeared and thousands of people walked through, joining you on the battlefield. Nearby to your current location, a portal opened and out came the people who had disappeared on Titan. You couldn't even comprehend everything that was happening. And when the ground opened up under your feet and gave birth to a Giant-Man holding Bruce, Rocket, and Rhodey, well you almost lost it. Giant-Man was truly a sight to see. A part of you was relieved that they had been competent enough to get shit done because you clearly hadn't been that helpful.

But you were so happy to see everyone here, breathing. The second snap had worked. And now? You had one hell of a fighting chance.

"Avengers!" came the shout from Steve. You turned to look at him, watching as he summoned Mjölnir. "Assemble."

"You know, that's still really hot," you commented without even realizing that everyone definitely heard that. Luckily you had the guise of everyone going into battle to cover it, but some people definitely heard it.

A scoff came over the intercom, and you smiled when you recognized Tony's voice. "Jesus, Y/N, really?"

You shrugged before going off to fight. "Where am I needed, Cap? Aerial support? Ground team?"

"I need you on the glove. Keep an eye on it's location and make sure it stays as far from Thanos as possible," he responded.

"But we need to get them back to their proper times," Bruce responded in the voice chat. "We'll destroy those other timelines if we don't."

"No can do," said the voice of Tony, and you spotted him on the battle field alongside Pepper in the Rescue suit that the two of you crafted. "Thanos destroyed our quantum tunnel in the blast."

The line was silent for a second as you flew overhead, spotting the glove being carried by Clint away from some of Thanos' mutant henchmen. You quickly swooped down, using the blasters to take out a few of them in one go. You hadn't yet been able to formulate a plan when someone else joined in. "Hang on! That wasn't our only time machine." A moment later, you heard the sound of a car alarm that was set to the sound of La Cucharacha. You flew back into the air, trying to spot where it came from.

"Does anyone have eyes on an ugly brown van?" Steve asked. You looked over the battlefield, but you really couldn't see it without letting the glove out of your sight. Luckily, someone else managed to spot and they responded.

After a short conversation in which Scott said he would need 10 minutes to get the machine working, you flew down to Clint as he was overrun by Overriders. You blasted them away before turning to the voice of the Black Panther as he called out to Clint.

"Give me the gauntlet, Clint!"

You blasted away a few more of the Overriders before taking off into the air and keeping track of T'Challa as he made his way through the crowd, heading for the van. Thanos was going after him. You were about to dive down when Wanda herself decided to take him on. You sighed in relief until you saw Squidward levitating the glove away. You instantly dived down, snatching the glove and giving Squidward a good blast in the face as you went. "That's for calling me a pet, asshole!" You then saw Peter, open, and looking a little lost. "Hey Spiderling! Catch!" When he looked over at you, you tossed the glove to him, and he used his webshooter to grab it before running off. Once again, you took off after him, blasting Overriders and Chitauri as they came. But he still got overrun, even with your help. And that's when he activated Instant Kill Mode.

"Jesus, Tony, why the hell does a 16 year old have an Instant Kill Mode?" you questioned as you landed. You blasted away the more of the enemy.

"You have one, too, ya know. Might help with the problem," was all Tony said before going back to the fight.

You were considering activating when Peter yelled about being overrun. "Steve!" you shouted over com.

Before you could explain the situation, he spoke up. "Heard it doll. Heads up, Queens!" You looked over your shoulder and managed to narrowly avoid getting clobbered in the head by the flying hammer. Peter managed to latch onto it as it was flying before falling off a second later. You instantly took off, catching him before he hit the ground.

"Gotta watch those butterfingers, Spiderling. You're gonna get hurt." As if some kind of dramatic irony, you then dropped him onto the back of the flying Pegasus that was manned by some badass warrior chick. Probably a friend of Thor. And if you weren't taken, and she offered, you definitely wouldn't turn her down.

You instantly shook away the thought before watching the battlefield raging on below you. Everyone was raging on. Tony and Pepper were fighting side by side, Peter was falling out of the sky holding the glove, and Steve was kicking major ass.

Wait! Peter!

You dived straight down, trying to catch him before he fell and got really hurt. You knew the suit would probably save him from most injuries, but he definitely didn't need to get hurt. But at this rate he would beat you to the ground. "Come on, come on…"

And then you flew through a portal, popping up through the ground right below Peter and catching him. His downward momentum definitely forced the two of you into the ground, but at least injuries were minimized.

"Holy shit, since when could she do that?" Pepper asked. You looked up to see her flying around, shooting at Chitauri as she went while also avoiding falling missiles. You were going to answer her until you became very distracted by the missiles suddenly pointing into the sky.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., what's happening?" Tony asked, and you heard her response loud and clear in your head.

"Something just entered the upper atmosphere."

You watched in amazement as a glowing burst of energy rammed into the ship. The explosion was beautiful, and the falling pieces of ship gave you one less problem on the battlefield. Plus, you had a new ally.

Carol landed right by you and Peter as you were going over his injuries. His side was still in pain, but you managed to prevent any broken bones. You glanced up and smiled at her.

"H-Hi, I'm Peter Parker," Peter said, holding on tightly to the gauntlet. You shook your head, laughing at how ridiculous it was that he introduced himself to everyone on the battlefield. But it was endearing… you guessed.

"Hey Peter Parker. You got something for me?" He nodded and handed her the glove. He made some comment about how it was impossible to get through. But then everyone was there, surrounding Carol. You joined them in feigning off the oncoming attacks. You had even managed to hold back Thanos himself. But then he threw his sword, and it knocked out the van's quantum portal before Carol could get inside. You were about to run after it until Thanos flung you like a ragdoll. Your head slammed into a rock and you gasped in shock.

"Your head has suffered major injury," said F.R.I.D.A.Y. in your head. "Should I inform Tony that you are in need of medical attention?"

You groaned, sitting up. "Don't you dare. I'm not out yet." Getting to your feet, you watched the scene unfolding before you. Thanos had the glove, and Tony tackled him.

"There was a spike in energy in Tony's suit. Power levels are beyond the max."

Shit. Shit! He had the stones.

You didn't hesitate in flinging yourself in his direction, boosters kicking in as you gained distance on him. Before he could snap, you flipped over his head, grabbing his hand in your own. A warm energy hummed through your body as the stones transferred to your suit.

You landed on your knees. Tony looked horrified as your helmet lowered. You gave him a smile and snapped your fingers, willing away Thanos and his army.

You were suddenly standing in some kind of weird, orange dimension. You were confused as you looked around. You weren't sure what to expect, but when you saw Nat sitting there with Bucky on her lap, you almost broke down.

"Great cat you have here. I was almost convinced I would be seeing Tony or Steve here. Ya know, since they're a bunch of idiots. But instead it's you." She scratched Bucky's head, casting you a casual look. "Things work out with Steve?"

You walked over to her, sitting next to her under the pagoda. "You could have seen for yourself, you know. He misses you. Everyone does."

She smiled, looking back down at Bucky. "It's really lonely here in the stone. They gave me this one because you were the one to snap. He'll leave when you do in a couple minutes. But it's cold in here. I did get to see Bruce, though. That was nice."

"So this is inside the soul stone?" you asked, glancing around. The orange color definitely added up. So did the cold feeling.

"Yes, and you're part space stone. The other stones were calling to you." She moved Bucky from her lap and stood up, facing you. "The space stone protected your otherwise fleshy organs. You'll probably have some minor burns and nerve damage, but you'll otherwise be okay. Well, until the boys yell your ear off." You both laughed. "Take care of them all for me, okay? You have some big shoes to fill, but I know you can keep them all in check. After all, you succeeded where I didn't. You somehow managed to make Tony and Steve get along for more than five seconds."

She looked up at the orange sky, a sad look on her face. She knew her fate was to be stuck in the stone. But why couldn't you free her? Maybe… maybe your powers could help you…

"Nat," you started, but everything started to turn bright around you. "Wait, what-"

"It's time for you to go," she said, smiling sadly at you. "Goodbye, Y/N."

"No wait!" But it was too late, she was gone.

Your body was flung backward from the energy blast, sending you flying. You were prepared to hit stone, so when you landed on somebody, it was a surprise.

"Get… the stones… off." Your voice was strained, hand burning from the snap. There was too much energy coursing through you. Your hand scratched at the nano suit, trying to smash off enough of the suit to create a glove that could be removed. You were gasping through the pain coursing through your body.

"Where in the hell is she?" said the voice of Tony as you pounded against the nano suit. "Where is Y/N?"

"She's with me," Steve said, stilling your hand from pounding into the suit. "Tony how do we remove the stones from her hand?"

You heard Tony land next to you as he looked at you with anger. "First we get those off of you, and then I'm going to chew your ass out for that. You could have died!"

You grimaced, watching as Tony used the blaster to cut the nano suit away from your hand. Once free, you pulled your hand free, gasping in relief. "Shut up you… self-sacrificing… asshole… You… would have died, Tony. I can't lose you, too. Morgan would never forgive you."

They were silent as the other Avengers and Guardians formed around you. Pepper looked both relieved and pissed off at both of you, but especially Tony for trying that shit first. And you could feel the silent anger that Steve was trying to hide for your safety. You were certain he would absolutely yell at you about it later, after you had time to recover. And you probably deserved it. It was so fucking stupid. But could you really lose Tony? Your brother?

No, your heart wouldn't have been able to handle it. So yeah, you acted without thinking and didn't even say anything. It was stupid and dumb and maybe you would have had some kind of excuse if you had had another second of thought, but you couldn't afford that second. He would have died. At least your body could handle it.

So they could stay mad. And they could yell. But you did the right thing. Plus, you had a plan.

"Steve, I need the gauntlet," you said, reaching for it.

"What? No!"

"Absolutely not!"

Tony and Steve both shouted at you at the same time. You flinched from the loud sound but nonetheless persisted. "I need to see the soul stone. I can bring back Nat."

A quiet voice spoke out from the crowd. "Let her see the stone." Everyone turned to see Clint. He looked like he had gotten one hell of a beating, but he was still standing tall. "If she can bring back Nat, I say we let her."

And so the stone was placed in your hands. You concentrated on what you had seen in your mind. The orange pagoda with Nat sitting underneath it, her red hair in a braid. You thought of her sad smile and hopeless stares as she waited for the next person to try and use the stone.

Then the doorway appeared.

You stepped through, looking around in curiosity. "Nat?"

She looked up from where she was sitting by the water's edge, a confused look in her face. "Y/N, what are you doing here?" 

"You really think I would just leave you here?" You shook your head, a smile on your face. You reached a hand out to her. "Come on. I know some people who would want to see you again."

The two of you left in through the open doorway, stepping back into the battlegrounds. Nat looked around in shock, seeing Earth again as if it were the first time. There were shocked murmurs that went around as everyone saw Nat, alive, and standing before them. Clint dropped his bow and went up to her, hugging her as if there were no tomorrow.

You stumbled away from them and that's when you ate shit, passing out before you even hit the ground.

----

Next Part

Taglist:

@thedaydreamingwriter​ @hollandroos​ @tomhollandd​ @cxptain-capsicle​ @jinthusiastsss​ @janieavalos​ @ilovesupersoldiers​ @laic2299​ @artaxerxesthegreat​

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Taking Time Epilogue

Master List | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Request:

Could you do a Thor request where the reader is Tony’s sister and Thor and her always had feelings for each other but timing was never right and right after Infinity Wars, everyone goes to regroup and rest, she and Thor find comfort in each other since she doesn’t know where Tony is and he’s lost everyone he love (but her)?

Pairing: Thor X Reader (There’s some platonic Steve feels too.)

Summary: For years you and Thor have had a tumultuous relationship, to say the least. After the snap, you meet up with what’s left of The Avengers at the compound to not only figure out where the hell your brother, Tony, is but also to lick your wounds. Thor is among them and the two of you finally take the time for one another because if you’ve learned nothing from this nightmare it’s that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

Warnings: Loss. 

A/N: My. God. Why. Can I write something and not be heart-wrenchingly invested in the reader character? No, apparently I cannot. I’ve enjoyed going on this journey thanks to my lovely anon requester and I appreciate you all going on it with me. Just going to go ahead and apologize for any tears shed because this def put me in my feels. 

Tags are open!

@disagreetoagree  @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13  @dorkprincess  @badpvn @unalive-mee @breezy1415  

Every single person, even Rocket who had no dog in this fight, was ready to have something to do when you presented them with your plans that night. Things were getting chaotic everywhere. People needed whatever was left of The Avengers to step up.

Clint Barton had turned up the next day, having lost his whole family. You all welcomed him with open arms. While you all thought he’d opt to lay low he instead wanted to work.

Bruce was helping you pick through Tony’s research. Happy to finally be back in a lab.

Steve, Thor, and Rocket were ground ops tasked with going into the selected hubs to more accurately assess the situation. Steve even shaved his beard and donned his trademark red, white, and blue to gain people’s trust.

Natasha and Barton were on covert ops, in times of chaos there will always be people who will take advantage of that. They would sniff out the biggest threats and lay out a plan of action.

Rhodey was coordinating with the government. In the wake of The Event (as all the news outlets were calling it) the Accords were scrapped. The US and really any government was, for better or worse, ready to take any help they could get.

You would intervene in any team as necessary working under the Iron Man mantle. Your suit may be different in color and sleeker in design but there was no mistaking that look. Just like Cap’s patriotic get up it would garner trust.

Ten days after the event, when the teams had been dispatched for their first round of fieldwork F.R.I.D.A.Y. chimed in while you were in your office sorting through the nanotech research.

“Y/N, I have a pre-recorded message from Mr. Stark.”

Your breath catches.

“Would you like me to play it?”

Would you… “No. I… Fuck… I’ll view it in the lab.”

You run and burst through the doors of Tony’s private lab. In the days since you have been here you’d felt sick every time you thought of coming in this space. Now… Your heart is thundering in your ears your skin covered in cold sweat.

“Breathe,” you whisper. Trying to calm yourself. You place your palms against his main desk, whole body trembling. “Fuck,” you groan as you collapse into his chair.

No paper littered Tony’s space, he scoffed at analog whenever he could. But there were still traces of him left here. A coffee mug with a sip still in it. A book face down to mark his spot. A picture of him and Pepper. And… you cover your mouth to hold in a sob. You and Tony at your graduation from M.I.T. You were on his back, faces pressed cheek to cheek, smiles big and genuine. Rhodey had taken it. You hadn’t ever paid much attention to the photos he kept and this one genuinely surprised you.

Things were always touch and go between the two of you. Two orphans with too much fucking money and too many unresolved issues to function anything like a normal family. But… what was normal?

You’d slept in his bed for six months after your parents’ died because the terror of losing him would wake you up shrieking. He was there. 

When you were at boarding school in England you developed a raging heroin addiction. You’d overdosed behind a seedy pub. Your high society friends left you there rather than end up on the front page as being present when the Stark heiress died. Tony was by your side when you woke up, bleary eyed from lack of sleep and tears. He was there all through your detox… and the next… and the next… He never judged you, never held that against you. 

There were countless times you had failed one another, countless times you screamed both drunk and sober about your hatred of the other. Times when you wouldn’t talk for months… But still you loved each other as best you could.

The picture held tight to your chest you take a shaky breath. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., play it.”

There he is, sitting right where you are, looking morose.

He lets out a long sigh, “You know, Y/N… I’ve been making these things since after the attack on New York. I kinda thought,” he runs a hand absently through his hair making it stand up, “they’d get easier… they don’t. Especially the ones to you. I think,” he clears his throat, “I think it’s because more than anyone I hope you never have to see this. I, uh, have this program set up that if I don’t provide authorization every 10 days F.R.I.D.A.Y. will send this to you. I figure 10 days is a pretty solid indication that something is very wrong. So just in case… There’s just things…” He trails off and leans his elbows on his desk, cradling his head in his hands.

He looks back to the camera, his eyes glassy, voice shaking. “Things that,” he clears his throat again, “that you need to know… that I’ve never had the spine to really say to you before… Y/N, I could not be more proud of the woman you’ve become.” A tear slides down his cheek and he quickly brushes it aside, save for snark and anger neither of you were good with emotions. “God knows that’s no thanks to me. I have no clue how you turned into this light of a person but I do know I’m lucky you’re my little sister. I know things haven’t always been easy, I know I haven’t always made them easy. I’ve fucked up so many times… but still here you are. I guess here we are. Both trying to save the world in our own ways though I do think you’re doing a better job…” That crooked smile curls his lips. “And I know… I know for a fact mom and dad would be proud of you too…” He takes a second, breathing deep.

“You should know that anything good in me, any heroic bullshit I’ve ever done… It wasn’t to save the world or to be a hero. I just…” Tears slide out of his eyes, “I just wanted to be good enough for you, to make sure things were safe for you, first and foremost you… And I know that may be hard to believe since I… I know I’ve apologized but I will be doing so until the end for showing you that video… I,” his voice breaks, “I hate myself for that, Y/N, and for the shit before it… I’m so sorry. If you can tell Rogers… tell him I was wrong… Fuck.” He stands and paces for a minute.

“Anyway,” he breathes deep, “I just need you to know that I’m proud of you, that I love you, and that I’m sorry for all the times I failed you. If I’m gone… well I’m sorry for that too. I hope you have Thor, that big blond idiot loves you even though I’m sure neither of you have admitted it to each other. You should by the way, admit it.” He smirks, knowing. “You should also know that the Iron Man is yours now. Do what you want with it, use it, retire it, find someone you can trust with it, whatever. F.R.I.D.A.Y. has all the schematics you could need and I have no doubt you’ll just make it better.” He sighs. “I’m sure there’s a whole hell of a lot more I should say but this is all the emotion I can handle for the week. I love ya sis. You’re going to be ok, kid.” Then he’s gone.

You sit, unmoving, for what seems like a long time. Then something snaps. Every ounce of sadness, of rage, of fear, hits you. Not once since The Event have you allowed yourself the space to feel this. Holding on to the notion that Tony was somehow alive, that he was coming home. But now…

There aren’t tears just a rage filled roar as you knock everything off Tony’s desk with a swipe of your arms. The mug shatters, frames crack. The desk, now devoid of accoutrement is nothing but a target. With a flick of your wrist the armor encases your right hand and you blast a hole through the top of the desk. You take a step back and release another, and another, screaming all the while.

You don’t even hear Rhodey come in. “Y/N!!” He yells over your screams. “Hey!” Grabbing your arm.

“Get the fuck off me, Rhodes!” You look at him, wild, before stalking away and firing at the glass wall separating the lab from the test area. It shatters with a satisfying crash and suddenly Rhodey’s arms are wrapped around you, pinning your arms to your sides.

“I got one too, kid,” he says softly and your knees begin to buckle, “I know… I know.” His voice is thick with emotion. “I know it hurts.”

“Oh, god,” you croak and crumple to the floor. The armor retreats and you cover your face the tears flowing freely. “No, no, nononono,” you repeat over and over through your sobs. Rhodey stays behind you, arms wrapped tight around you until your sobs quieten.

He looks around at the destruction you wreaked, “Ya know, there are times I doubt you and Tony are related and then I’m always reminded that there is no doubt.”

Sniffling you pull away and sit on your knees across from him and take his hands. “Why do you put up with our shit, Rhodey?”

He laughs, tears in his eyes, “Because life without the Starks is too fucking boring.”

You shake your head, “You should work that out in therapy.” Both laughing you embrace. “Thank you, Rhodey, for everything.”

“It’s nothing, kid,” he wipes the tears from your face. “You’re family.”

Five weeks pass.

You’re all managing the best you can. Working on a four days on three days home system for the most part. The beginnings of Foundation outposts have been established in New York and Houston, providing medical care, food, and housing to thousands. You and Rhodey were working to figure out a way to ethically and legally seize homes and former offices that were empty to be used for rehoming people closer to the city centers. Things were… as good as they could be.

Every moment you’re able you and Thor find ways to be together. You both make it a point to carve out time every single day you’re apart to at least have ten minutes to talk, to remind one another that you love them. On days when you’re at the compound you sneak off any chance you can, stealing moments to kiss, fuck, and talk. It was as though you were both determined to make up for all the time you lost.

He tells you incredible stories about his childhood. Pranks Loki would play on him, how he’d somehow always fall for it. Battles won and lost. You’d tell him far less fantastical stories about the wild shit you and Tony would get into, the last minute trips to Singapore and Monaco, the debauchery and fuckery. He loved them even though they lacked giants and magic. Those are the best times.

It’s one of your three days with everyone back at the compound for debriefing and taking a breather. You’re all around the kitchen eating whatever is on hand for lunch chatting when F.R.I.D.A.Y. pipes up.

“An unknown spacecraft has just entered the atmosphere.”

“Fuck,” you all seem to groan in unison.

“Can you tell it’s trajectory?”

“I cannot be certain but it seems that it may be heading close by, I’ve tried to communicate but have gotten no response.”

Without another word you’re all bolting for the door grabbing any necessary gear as quickly as possible. You’re fully suited before you’re even outside, Thor close at your side.

“If they’re hostile let me take the first blow,” Thor growls. You nod.

Suddenly you see it clear the trees just to the west of the compound. Without a thought you’re off, Rhodey bringing up your left.

The craft lands with an earsplitting crash, digging a deep ravine into the earth.

“Still no response from inside the craft but I do detect two life forms,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs you.

The rest of the team has brought up the rear while Rhodey, Thor, and yourself remain on the front lines with Thor on the ground and the two of you hovering about 10 feet up.

You hear sounds rumble from inside. “Whoever the fuck you are I highly suggest you come out slowly and unarmed unless you want a hole through your chest.”

Clanking, voices, and a hatch finally bursts free, your weapons hum to life ready to fire any moment.

Hands raised, human hands. “I wouldn’t have given you the fucking thing if I thought you were going to shoot me with it.”

You lose your focus and crash to your knees with a thud helmet retracting and you stare at the haggard visage of your brother.

“Tony,” Rhodey says, shocked, landing with much more grace beside you.

“Stark,” you hear Steve whisper.

“Rogers, Rhodes,” he looks around and you know who his eyes are seeking out.

“She’s not here man…” Rhodey says looking down.

Tony sniffs hard, “I figured. Honestly, didn’t expect any of you to be here…”

You’ve been staring at him, brain unable to process fully what you’re seeing. He’s still a good distance away and suddenly you stand, your feet move of their own accord, suit retracting with each step.

When you’re in front of him you slap him, hard, across his face. “What the fuck Tony!” You scream. You punch him in the shoulder, “What were you thinking?!”

Vaguely you hear Rhodey say to someone, “No, let them do this.”

You push him hard with both hands, “Getting on a fucking hostile alien ship, not knowing where it’s going or what’s happening.” Your voice is starting to crack, you push him again, “with no back up, nothing!” You raise your hand ready to hit him again and he catches it, holding tight, dark eyes that match your own unwavering.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m… sorry,” he whispers.

The fight leaves you in a rush and you collapse into your stupid, reckless, heroic brother’s arms. You both hit the ground in a heap, sobbing into one another. Each of you saying sorry like it’s a mantra, like it will make up for everything that either of you has done to the other. Each of you knowing you are two of the luckiest people alive.

Your whole body is violently shaking, you can’t seem to stop. “Hey, hey,” Tony whispers rocking you back and forth. “It’s ok, we’re ok, kid.” You look up and Rhodey lays a hand on your shoulder.

“I told you, he’s a stubborn son of a bitch,” he says eyes glassy. The two of you rise and the men embrace. “Don’t fucking pull that shit again, Tony.” All Tony can do is nod.

No one else has moved so you all approach the shell-shocked team. Rocket is talking to a blue woman and you can’t even be phased at this point. You reach a hand out for Thor and he takes it, smile bright and eyes filled with tears.

Steve’s eyes are glued to the ground, tension radiating from him. “Rogers,” Tony croaks out, Steve looks up through his lashes not moving, “I’m sorry, man… I…” Steve cuts him off by pulling him into a bone crushing hug. You know they’ll have to work out their differences but you know that right now they’re just thankful to have their friend back.

“Y/N,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. pops up and you hear a distant rumble. “There seems to be another ship approaching.”

“You are fucking kidding me right?!” You groan, suit slithering up your arms.

“Oh,” Tony clears his throat. “Yeah. Point Break,” he looks at Thor, “picked you up some souvenirs on the way home.” A large ship lands, with far more grace than Tony’s heap had.

Thor looks at you confused, “How the hell should I know babe?”

A hatch hisses open and a dark-skinned woman saunters down. Thor’s face is shocked. “Valk-“

“Yeah, it’s me,” a crowd gathers behind her, “Your orders were to go to Midgard so,” she gestures behind her, “here we are.” It hits you that this ragtag group is what’s left of Asgard, of Thor’s people.

He rushes up to her picking her up hooting. Your jaw hangs open, tears streaming down your face. Thor’s laughter rings through the still afternoon air.

Tony wraps an arm around your shoulder and you lean into him. “Have you told him yet?” He’s smirking.

You cleat your throat, “Yeah… yeah we did finally get that out of the way.”

“Good.” He plants a kiss on top of your hair.

There’s still so much to be done. So far to go. But right now you all take the time to revel in a little happiness, savor this victory, no matter how small.

[demonsonthemoon]

We Shall Rule - Chapter 13

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics Pairings: Platonic Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton, background Kate Bishop/America Chavez Word Count: 4270 Note: this is the last chapter, only a small epilogue left. Happy #AggressivelyArospecWeek.

Also available on AO3.

Bucky found himself standing in front of Clint's apartment building. In the rain, because the universe hated him. He pressed the doorbell for the third time. He knew the intercom was broken from the last time he had come here, which was why he had sent Clint a text telling him he was on his way. Clint could have replied that he wasn't home, but he hadn't, which Bucky had taken as a sign that he was actually at his flat even though unwilling to reply.

He was about to press the button a fourth time when he heard a voice calling his name.

He took a step back and looked up, and recognised Kate looking down at him from the window of Clint's kitchen.

“I'm sorry,” Kate shouted. “He says he wants you to leave. And to stop ringing the doorbell because he's hungover as fuck and it's making his headache worse.” She turned back towards the inside of the flat for a second. “He's also telling me not to shout so loudly but since he's making me talk to you from here because he's too grumpy to deal with his feelings, I don't care.” She turned around again. “He just took out his hearing aids. What a child.”

Bucky was craning his neck and feeling quite in awe of Kate's energy even as her long black hair started gathering rain. Though that did not help him come up with a response, especially as Kate leaned against the window ledge, making herself more comfortable.

“I just want to talk to him,” Bucky finally shouted back. “We had a fight yesterday and... I just want to talk to him. I want to understand and...”

“Apologize?” Kate asks, tone managing to be soft despite the fact that she was literally shouting at him.

Bucky hesitates for a second. “I'm not sure. I don't think I understand exactly what went wrong, so I don't know if I have to apologize or not.”

He saw Kate nod thoughtfully then walk back into the appartment. Bucky guessed that she couldn't just talk with Clint from the window anymore, since she would need to force him to watch her signs to make herself understood.

For two minutes, Bucky awkwardly stood there, drenched, the rainwater constantly falling into his eyes and blurring his sight. At least he felt awake now, contrary to when he had woken up from his night of bad sleep. Bucky was really hoping none of Clint's neighbours was here, because he was certain the scene was quite a sight.

Kate came back to the window, beaming. “I am literally the best at life, and you owe me. I'll buzz you in.”

Bucky let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Kate!”

He took the two steps to the front door and waited for the sound of the buzzer activating, quickly pushing in. His long hair was sticking uncomfortably to one side of his face and dripping everywhere, but he couldn't bring himself to care too much. Instead he quickly started the climb towards Clint's appartment.

Kate was waiting for him by the door wearing a lavender sweater and pyjama bottoms.

“Look for the huge lump on the sofa, and you'll find Clint. I'm gonna take a walk to give you some privacy, but I will be back in fifteen minutes. So don't ruin this. Don't ruin him. I will kick your ass then ask my girlfriend to kick it again.”

Bucky nodded, almost solemn. He had heard stories about America's ass-kicking. That girl could be terrifying.

Kate stopped while walking past him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You can do this.”

And then she left, in all of her pyjama-clad glory.

Bucky stepped inside the apartment proper, softly closing the door behind him.

“Kate is a traitor,” Clint mumbled as Bucky sat down on the arm of his couch, as far away as he could from Clint.

“I just want to talk to you,” Bucky said.

There was no response from Clint, who was really not much more than a mop of blond hair and two eyes peeking out of a blanket lump.

“I'm sorry. Not about what I said. I don't...” Bucky sighed. “I don't actually know what I said wrong that made you go off like that. But I'm sorry about what happened.”

There was a moment of silence, and when Bucky didn't start talking again, Clint just said “Okay.”

He wasn't gonna make it easy, then.

“I thought I was looking out for you. I get that... that you may have felt patronized. But that wasn't my point at all.” He tried to remember Clint's exact words. You're pissed off because I didn't get defensive? “I wasn't even angry. Not really. Not at you. I was... I don't know. I felt responsible. I felt bad, that you had to deal with Peggy like that... That you had been anxious about coming, and that I had told you it would all be okay even though I was also scared, and then that that happened. And I was... I was hurt. I knew it wasn't about me. It wasn't my problem. But it still hurt. I don't know.”

“You stopped talking,” Clint said, still tense under his blanket.

Bucky crossed one arm over his chest, fiddling with the fabric of his shirt.

“I know. I... I get like that. Sometimes. Kind of... dissociate. Like... like everthing is distant. A step off.”

“Why?”

“Why what? Why do I dissociate? Because that's a-”

“No, no. Why did you dissociate this time. What triggered it?”

“I told you. I felt... bad.” It wasn't the word. It wasn't enough. It wasn't the good answer, and Bucky was trying, he was looking for something better to say, but he couldn't.

Clint mumbled something that he didn't catch.

“What did you say?”

“It wasn't your place. It wasn't your place, and it wasn't your problem. It wasn't your right to get hurt or angry on my behalf.”

“It's only because I care!” Bucky replied, trying to keep his voice calm even if he could feel the same panicked and defensive confusion he had experienced the night before rise up inside of him.

“I'm not your futzing responsibility.” Clint said, looking straight ahead of him and not at Bucky.

“You're my friend!” Bucky's voice wavered a bit. “We're... close. I... This is not about me feeling like I own any part of you, this isn't about propriety. I care about you. Of course I don't want you to feel hurt. Or invaded. I can't choose not to care about that.”

“I wasn't hurt!” Clint said, raising his voice a little and pulling the blanket off his face. “You were. That's always what happens. I try to deal with my own futzing problems, but other people still get hurt. I let them get close, and they get hurt. You wouldn't have thought twice about Peggy's comments before meeting me, and now they caused you to fucking dissociate at a dinner table.”

What... Bucky had trouble following Clint's train of thought and his changes in emotions.

“That's not... That's not your fault! I might not have reacted to what Peggy said before meeting you, sure. I probably wouldn't have. That doesn't mean it wasn't fucked up. That doesn't mean I regret that you opened my eyes about that. Sure, I could have lived unaware of how bullshit it is to think that every important relationship is romantic. Maybe that would have been easier! I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't ever have realised it on my own, or maybe I would have. But I don't regret it. How is anything going to change if everyone chooses to keep their head in the ground?”

“Change?” Clint asked, incredulous. “Who said anything about change? I'm not here to change the futzing world. I just want to live my life. That's literally all I'm asking for.”

“You...” Bucky felt slow. Had it always been this difficult to understand people? Was it just more difficult now? Or was it just because he hadn't tried to make new connections in so long, not connections that really mattered, nothing on the level of what he had with Steve? “You say you don't want people to get hurt. You say you don't want me to get hurt. But what about you? Why do you make it sound like it's so selfish for me to care about what people say to you? How is it any different? Why should you get hurt instead of me?”

“I wasn't hurt. I told you I wasn't hurt.”

“Maybe not yesterday!” Bucky said, raising his voice and gesturing with his hands. “You tell me you didn't care about what Peggy said, and fine, I'll take your word for it. But you must have been hurt before. At some point. You must have been angry at some point.”

“You want to know the truth?” Clint asked, finally lowering the blanket to his hips and turning to face Bucky. “For real? Well I am angry. I'm angry all the freaking time. I've been angry for years and it hasn't gotten me anywhere except for the hospital. You think I let people say anything they want because I don't have any self-respect or something? That's not fucking it. The truth is, I respect myself enough not to let my anger become one more thing people can hate about me.”

“That's...”

“No, let me finish. I've been at this for years. Trying to have people see something in me that's not just me being deaf, me being an orphan, me being a way to make money or the weird queer who wants to spend his life alone. I don't want to ruin all I've built to become the angry guy. That's no trade at all. You know why we call pride a fucking celebration? Because nobody likes an angry queer. That's why we show up with glitters and feathers, and not political slogans. Because if we did people might realise they still hate us just enough to beat us with a stick. So all of this anger, this hurt as you call it? It's mine. I've fought to keep it. You don't get to take it away.”

Bucky felt like it was pointless to argue this point. He could repeat endlessly that pain wasn't meant to be carried alone, that this is what friends were for, but he didn't think it would have any effect.

“What if I've got anger of my own? Don't you think I could be angry, not just on your behalf but because the world is generally unfair? Or do you have a monopoly on all the anger in the world?”

“That's not...”

“I don't know, Clint. I get that I fucked up. That I didn't communicate properly, or whatever. But this shit is hard for me. You're the first person I actually tried to get close to since... since I joined the army and nearly got myself killed. So sometimes I don't know how to say things. That's just the way it is. But I've been trying to fix things for the last ten minutes, and Kate promised to kick my ass in five, so just... I don't know. I want to know if you want to fix this too.”

“Fuck.” Clint lowered his head, putting his hands over it. “Fuck. I didn't mean for it to get this way.” He looked up. “You've got to believe me, Bucky. I didn't mean for it to get this way. I know it's stupid. I know it doesn't make sense for me to be this...” He sighed.

Bucky wanted to reach out, to run a hand through his hair like he used to do to Steve when he still had long hair, when he was too sick to go to school and ashamed that Bucky had to bring him his notes.

And then he did. He reached out towards Clint. He put a hand over the bunched up blanket on his knees and started playing with the fabric, his touch there but also easy to brush away.

“It's easier not to let people in.” Clint ended up admitting. “If I fuck up- When I fuck up, at least it's done, then. People leave, and I don't have to worry about hurting them anymore. I don't have to worry about not being enough, about holding them back. They're gone, and they're free, and I'm back at dealing with myself again. I've gotten good at that. Dealing with myself. Or at least decent enough.”

“Why would I want to leave? We had one fight. We misunderstood each other and had one fight. Do you know how many fights I've had with Steve? There were weeks when it felt like fighting was all we were doing.”

“Because I'm not enough. Because I'm never enough. It's really pathetic, Bucky, but I'm one of those people that are made to be left behind.”

The worst thing wasn't the words he had just said, though those were bad enough. No, for Bucky, the worst thing was that Clint smiled as he said them.

“That's bullshit,” a voice interrupted.

Clint and Bucky turned over the back of the couch to stare at Kate, who was drinking some kind of frappuccino, letting her hair drip all over the floor, and looking unimpressed.

“That's futzing bullshit and you would know it if you opened your eyes for one futzing second.” She had a way of seeming collected and threatening all at once that made Bucky feel awed. “I'm here. I've been here for years. I've dealt with everything there was to deal with, I've seen you at some serious lows, dude.” She took a sip of her drink. “And I'm still here. So stop the bullshit about being made to be left behind. It's just that people are too dumb to see through your game when you try to push them away.”

“You can't just call everyone dumb for realising I'm an asshole and trying to find something better!”

“Sure I can,” Kate replied vindicatively. “Because you're not an asshole.”

“You call me that all the time!” Clint protested.

Bucky was starting to feel like a third wheel in the argument, but at the same time he was grateful that Kate had managed to pull Clint out of his coldness. An angry Clint seemed somehow more natural than one pretending he didn't feel anything.

“I call you that when you're being an asshole. But you're not one in, like, your insides. Fundamentally. Whatever. You're actually a genuinely decent person. You let me squat your flat and even keep cereals stocked in a cupboard for me. You bought a building just so your neighbours wouldn't be evicted. Hell, even Lucky is a stray you picked up when anyone else would have left him to die!”

“That's nothing.”

“It's not futzing nothing, Clint! You do all these things, you always try to be such a good person! And then you fuck up. Sure! You've fucked up a few times, maybe even a lot of times. Newsflash. Everyone does. But at least you try to be something else than your fuck ups. At least you try to get back up. Some people would just wallow in their fucked-upness, and not even try anything else. You don't.”

“That's a low bar you're setting.”

Kate groaned, running a hand through her hair and clenching her fist. “You know what's the one thing I can't stand about you? It's this. It's this pushing-people-away thing. Because you don't actually want people to leave. You try to convince yourself that you do, but you don't, not really. It's all some kind of stupid self-punishment. You think you've done something bad, so you think you deserve to be left alone, and so you force people to leave. But you're punishing them, not you. You're burning bridges and telling them it's so they won't have to do it themselves. But you're not letting them decide for themselves if they actually want to cross the futzing river or not. And that's what I call being an asshole.”

Clint drew his knees up and hugged them to himself, clearly feeling the edge of truth in Kate's words and not liking it. There was a small silence as she took her breath back and Bucky started fidgeting a bit, unsure if he was supposed to leave or not.

Before he could make any decisive movement, though, she stopped him. “I'm not done. Because god help me for once I have a chance to stop this before it all goes to shit. This one-” She pointed at Bucky with her index finger. “You keep. I don't care what happened last night. If he's here right now he clearly wants to stay, so as long as he does, you keep him. Non-negotiable.”

“That's not how this work, Kate,” Clint replied.

“Did I futzing stutter?”

Bucky couldn't help but smile. Kate Bishop was truly a hurricane of a human, a force of nature to be reckoned with. He was glad that Clint had her in his life. He also wondered what would happen were she ever to meet Steve, and decided that this was a dangerous path to tread.

When there was no more response from Clint, Kate nodded to herself. “Okay. Good. Now. I can see you still haven't finished your heart-to-heart, so I'll give you some more time because I am very generous.”

“This isn't even your flat, we don't need your permission to-”

Kate ignored her friend and went on. “But before that, I'm going to get dressed. Because while I can rock the just-out-of-bed-haven't-changed-yet look to go to the local coffee shop, I am now drenched and would appreciate not to catch pneumonia.” And with that she left the room and went inside Clint's bedroom, droplets of water from her hair trailing behind her.

“So,” Bucky started, wanting to break the silence but not actually knowing what to say.

Clint sighed. “So.”

“I don't want to leave.”

Clint let his head drop to the back of the couch, covering his eyes with one hand. “Fuck.”

Bucky didn't quite know what to say to that.

“Maybe I believe you,” Clint finally continued. “That you don't want to leave. But that doesn't mean you won't. It doesn't mean you won't find something else. Something that's actually good for you, instead of my bullshit. And then... well. How could I blame you, right?”

“By something, you mean someone, right?”

Clint chuckled darkly. “Yeah. That's usually how it goes.”

“I can't promise anything,” Bucky said, and the words felt bitter and wrong in his mouth. Not enough, but true. “Obviously I can't promise that I won't ever leave you. But I don't want to. And I'm not looking to replace you. Us. Anything. I like you. And I like what we've got. And I want to keep it. Whatever happens in the future, you've got to believe that that's true now. And that I want it to stay true.”

He raised his hand off Clint's knee and pulled it back to himself, giving the other man more space as he prepared his question.

“Has it happened often? People leaving you?”

Clint took his time to respond. “A few times. Enough times.”

“What happened?”

The question was vague. Vague enough to let Clint choose how many details he was willing to give away. Vague enough for him to say nothing, if he really believed that Bucky was out of line once again.

“They all left. Some because they'd found a girlfriend, or a boyfriend. Others because I just wasn't enough. Because I was too much work. Most of them because I ended up pushing them away. Because they felt too close and too important and it felt wrong and I was scared and I thought I would ruin them. Because if they were gonna leave anyway, it might as well be before any of us got too involved. It might as well be while we still have a chance not to be hurt by it.”

“If your goal was not to get hurt, you did a pretty poor job of it.”

Clint started laughing, before the sound turned into a sob. “Didn't I?”

There was no denying it, not when Bucky had found him hidden under a blanket and refusing to open the door, not when Bucky had seen the worry in Kate's eyes.

“That's what I'm saying, you know?” Clint was rubbing at his eyes, as if he could dry them before the tears had even fallen. “I fuck up. I always fuck up. I can barely deal with my own shit, why would anyone take it upon themselves to care about it too?”

“I ask myself the same thing all the time,” Bucky replied. Thoughtlessly, he started rubbing his thumb against the wrist joint of his prosthesis. “I...” He hesitated, but, fuck, if they were having a heart-to-heart, might as well go all the way. “I'm a burden for Steve. I mean, objectively speaking. He would kick my ass if he knew I had said that. And then he would apologize for it. But objectively speaking... I can't work. I don't really have any hobby. I just hang around the flat, cleaning stuff and cooking, and let him invite me to hang-outs with his other friends. I get... benefits. For my time in the army and the injury. But it's not much. A lot of it goes into therapy. So yeah.”

Clint was looking at him now, obviously sorry though nice enough not to actually say it out loud. Bucky hated when people apologized for something that had nothing to do with them. He knew they were trying to be nice, but he couldn't help feeling pissed off by it. Even if it was true, even if people really were sorry, it felt wrong to say.

“Objectively speaking, I'm useless. But that doesn't mean anything, to Steve. He keeps telling me that it doesn't mean anything. And obviously it was hard at first. I didn't... I didn't want to rely on someone. But I couldn't not, you know? And some bad stuff had happened between us after I'd left for the army, but he forgave me. I was here, broken, unwilling to be helped, ruining his life, and the first thing he did was forgive me.”

Bucky stayed quiet for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts. It was still difficult to look back on that time when he barely talked, barely got out of bed. Realising that he was a stranger to his family, that his best friend was a stranger to him. But Steve had forced him to get up. He had dragged Bucky kicking and screaming into his life.

“What I mean to say is... That's not how it works. Friendship. Relationships. Anything. People who love you, they don't care if you're objectively good for them or not. The only thing that matters is that they do love you, even if you don't know why and even if they don't know why, and that's good enough. You can't really do anything about the fact that you love someone. Pushing people away for no good reason won't help you or them. It will just hurt everyone.”

Clint sighed, body relaxing slightly. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay?” Bucky asked, surprised. He hadn't believed it would be as easy as that. Words had this way of never being enough, usually. He'd talked for days with his therapist now, and it never felt like it was enough. Even the things that rung like the purest truth in one moment would lose their meaning the next second.

“Okay. I'm not... I'm like you. I won't make promises I can't keep. So I won't promise I'm never going to pull this shit again.” He chuckled darkly. “I'm probably gonna pull this shit again at some point. But... you should call me out on it. And I'll try to be better.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Shit.” Clint let out a short laugh. “We're like the futzing Fault in our Stars. I can't believe this.”

Bucky smiled too. “So I'm forgiven?”

Clint shrugged. “I don't think I ever had a good reason to be mad at you. Just... oh god this is gonna sound so weird. Sorry. Just tell me if you ever fall in love with someone? That's... That's the main reason people end up leaving.”

“Okay,” Bucky said. “I'll do that. I'm not... I'm not looking, if that's something you're worried about. It's not really something that's been on my mind at all these past few months.”

“Cool. That's good.” There was a slight pause. “I mean, if you're okay with it. It's not... it's good for me but only if it's not bothering you. I didn't mean...”

Bucky couldn't help but smile. “It's fine, Clint. I'm fine. I'm okay. I don't miss it. I've got you right now, I've got Steve. I have friends. That's enough. It's good.”

“Okay.”

They leaned towards each other then, resting their foreheads against the other's.

And maybe Kate snapped a picture on her phone after silently creeping back into the living-room.

Maybe.