#they also kinda ruined wii deleted you for me too.

[runawaybouqet]

// vent || grooming mention || s/h mention || MAJOR nsfw mention || other generally bad stuff.

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sorry for posting this on my main but like, i feel like i need to address this.

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recently i broke off a friendship with a really good "friend" of mine. i've talked about them on my main before and if you're on wii deleted you twitter you might be familiar with them or have at least seen them around/heard of them.

they basically crossed a lot of my boundaries by showing me [and others] nsfw uncensored [that i felt kinda forced into], posting s/h uncensored in my discord server [not even in a vent chat, but a PUBLIC CHANNEL, that EVERYONE could see.] fetishizing the concept of psychopathy/other mental illnesses and trauma, normalizing s--cidal thoughts and to an extent, romanticizing it and overall just a lot of manipulation, victimizing, attention-seeking and begging.

they also straight up broke my trust in them by lying about their mental state which pissed me off a ton. bc they knew i was mentally unwell and i get worried SICK about people. i really like being in friendships where both parties can be honest with each other. and they basically just kept telling me everything was fine. then they join my discord server and trauma dump and i was. so fucking upset, and sad and everything. bc i trusted them. and they broke that trust. and it made me think about if they were possibly lying to me about anything else too, which, turns out, they were.

last year i had feelings for them and in early december we were in a platonic relationship that we broke off a week later [that was completely my fault. i dont hold them accountable for that. for context, they were 2-4 years older than me, and they were,,,, 16.]

and now i'm starting to realize that they probably borderline groomed me. they always wanted my attention and constantly begged for me to send them nsfw that i didnt feel comfortable with sharing with them. they were really demanding with me and if i didn't do what they wanted, they'd start manipulating me and victimizing themselves and at some point said "if you don't send me nsfw, i will make your life a living hell". and they constantly forced me to draw for them. sometimes even making threats if i didn't finish something on time.

it's also entirely possible that they did this with other people. a lot of their audience is MUCH younger than them. they're 16 and the average age in their follower base is 13-15. as far as i know some of their youngest active followers are between 10-13 years old. they'd post nsfw and retweet nsfw for all of them to see and it was disgusting. it was one of the first reasons i started disconnecting with them. bc i was so tired of seeing straight up mii porn in my timeline every goddamn second.

overall they weren't good for me. and i'm still trying to recover from the whole ordeal last night. i didn't hit me hard until earlier this morning.

i'm not going to name them or anyone else involved publicly. but i will give a vague thank you to the people who helped me through realizing they were a bad person.

[fibrielsolaer]

Smash Ultimate tier list based entirely on which characters I like and which I hate

BSP = Big Sexy Personality

FBNIS = Fun, But Not In Smash

MPATBUD = Mario Princesses Are Terrifying Blow-Up Dolls

S Tier

Kirby: absolutely the man, if you don’t love Kirby you’re probably the asshole who got this roster flooded with Marth World pricks

Pikachu: He quicc. He thicc. He’ll Thunderbolt you to hicc

Except it’s a she because I only ever play Librechu ;p

Bowser: BSP

Zelda: She is so cute, I can finally stand playing as her

Pichu: He is so cute, it almost makes up for how stupid he is

Ganondorf: He’s finally fucking cool. He uses the goddamn sword now

Lucario: What if Mewtwo was a Shaolin monk hunk

I only play purple Lucario for reasons you’re best not knowing

Toon Link: He’s the cartoon that Link and Young Link watched and modeled themselves on

Ridley: HOLY SHIT IT FEELS AWESOME TO PLAY RIDLEY

I love how the game designers know he’s way too small so when you fight him in Classic Mode as Samus he gets Giant modifier

K. Rool: BSP

Piranha Plant: The pain from the pipes, this disrespectful piece of shit is so stupid he wraps around to greatness, with his inclusion I’ve changed my mind and now say fuck it, add Bandana Waddle Dee, hell add a regular Waddle Dee if you want, I don’t even care anymore

A Tier

Luigi: Few people know that he and Mario are actually identical twins, his brother merely wears a fat suit (the weight of which has crushed his spine) so they can be told apart

Ness: I like the picture you get when you play for 20 hours

C. Falcon: This is the guy who beats up Incineroar. As the positive icon of the people he never shows any emotion except for “YUS!” and “SHOW ME”. All Might was probably based on this jackass

Jigglypuff: Like so many other Pokemon, its adorable facade is a veneer for an expansive and unfathomable eldritch demon. The difference is, despite how fucking many Pokemon like that there are, nobody has found Jigglypuff’s secret and lived to tell

Young Link: He’s actually Link’s son, who idolizes his father and wants to follow in his footsteps. His dad has strayed from the path but young blood here carries on the true faith. Also, FBNIS

Mewtwo: He was the original Damn Cool Pokemon. He jockeys with Lucario for that role now but all they ever do is sit there charging their neutral Bs talking about how the planet will explode in 5 minutes

Roy: He knows that the Marth World infestation is soon to be purged, because there are like five actual Marths including him, so he decided to become the best Marth World character so he alone will survive

Pit: The only cunt from his series besides Dark Pit who had the decency not to change voice and try to pretend it was the same fucking one. I never play as him ever but Sakurai sure cared more about making him fresh & fun post-Uprising than any of his other goddamn characters

Charizard: BSP

Dedede: BSP

Bowser Jr.: This rude little shit is the guy who you invite to a party and he brings his whole crew, excuse me no I didn’t invite Wendy and Horton and Lenny and all these bitches, but fuck it y’all cool

Simon: I like his funny walk and he looks like Conan the Barbarian

Richter: I like his funny walk and he looks like a dork

Isabelle: Do you know this literal bitch killed me with a fucking stop sign 3 times before I unlocked her, why isn’t that a reaction macro

Incineroar: He pretends to be a bad guy so that kids’ heroes will beat him up on TV and they will be happy. He is so sweet

B Tier (Everyone Is Meh)

Mario: Meh

Donkey Kong: Meh

Link: The dad who strayed from the path, I really don’t like the Breath of the Wild Link, FBNIS

Fox: Meh

Sheik: Meh

Dr. Meh: Mario

Falco: Hands off my meh

Mehrth: He’s kinda cool but Roy is way cooler

Mr. Game & Watch: What an annoying asshole

Wario: It’s not the cool Wario, it’s the stupid Wario Ware one, and he brings all his obnoxious waifu friends with him. It’s Wario after he retired from his teen Youtube star days at the age of 30 and he’s trying to stay young and cool-looking but his stoner friends keep fucking it up

Solid Snake: Meh, too indirect for me, FBNIS

Squirtle: Meh-est of the Pokemon Trainer trio, he just doesn’t provoke like any reaction from me at all unlike the other two

Diddy Kong: Meh

Olimeh: This is the most boring goddamn character, everything you do you have to pluck fucks

ROB: He barely animates

Villager: I kinda wish Animal Crossing let you be an animal too. The lone human character is really boring

Mega Meh: You got: FBNIS

Little Meh: I dunno I’ve just barely ever played him

Mehninja: Maybe I should actually try playing it once ever

Duck Hunt: If there was a B-and-a-half tier I’d put this one there because you can delay the side-B and set up Snake-level GOTCHA combos, otherwise the novelty wears off fast

Ryu: He is the 2nd-least likeable guy, what a turbo douche

Bayomehtta: She’s rule 63 Dante, her game was always just a DMC ripoff that relied on her tits & ass to differentiate from it

Inkling: I like the yellow hair girl one but I ABSOLUTELY HATE THE CRINGY-ASS ASSIST TROPHY AND WILL ABSOLUTELY UNFAIRLY BLAME THE CHARACTER FOR THIS.

C Tier

Samus: She is the most FBNIS character

Ice Climber: They’re really un-cute and I hate their desync thing

Metaknight: This guy was so much cooler before he talked, or rather, before he screamed AYAYGYGYAYGYAGA

Ike: Marth World has like 2,000 characters ranging from pegasus knights to barbarians to psychic dragon-girl dancers, and yet we keep getting these boring fucking swordsmen

Pokemon Trainer: Get absolutely the fuck out you twerp you don’t even do a goddamn thing and you die the second any one of your THREE fighters is KO’d so you don’t even incorporate the actual spirit of your original character unlike literally everybody else

Venusaur: If I evolved this ugly fucker I would delete my save

Lucas: If I had an Absolutely Gone Machine that could erase anything in the world and delete everyone’s memory that it ever existed so they would shut the fuck up about it, Mother 3 would be precisely the fourth thing I deleted

Robin: Least shitty post-Melee Marth World character but I just haven’t bothered to try it out to see if it’s actually good or not, probably because I’m just too allergic to Marth World by now

Dark Samus: Cool, but why

Daisy: MPATBUD, but this one has the closest thing to a personality. Unfortunately it is a fucking terrible and horrific personality

Zero Suit Samus: hey cool Samus is Barbie now

Ken: Remember how I said Ryu was the 2nd-least likeable? Well here’s Liquid Ryu to seize the coveted spot

Cloud: Yeah hey, let’s take the one Final Fantasy protagonist with like the least connection to Nintendo, no it’s fine, every goddamn Marth World game except the one that justified its worldwide presence has a character in but we’re not gonna use Cecil or Buttz or Terra

Corrin: Any hope this bitch had to go on my “Is a dragon so I like it” list was ruined by how absolutely infuriating it is to fight against Corrin especially that one Spirit match where he spams his INSTANT FINAL SMASH THAT HAS LIKE AN INFINITELY VERTICAL HITBOX fuck this goddamn digimon

D tier

Yoshi: I’ve hated this thing ever since it stopped going BAWONKA WONKA and started going blblblblblbl

add Birdo as an Echo and I might forgive you

Peach: MPATBUD, Peach is usually able to manifest either the behavior of a real person (Paper Mario) or the appearance of one (Smash), but sadly never both, she is doomed to blow-up-dollery forevermore

Sonic: Please add any other Sonic character, any at all, I’ll even take Charmy, I fucking hate Blue Bubsy

Wolf: The only reason he is not the furry-trashiest character in Smash is because Krystal is an AT, this cocksucker deadass awoos

Wii Fit Trainer: Next to her, Mario Princesses almost look human

Rozzalinda: MPATBUD and this one is the worst, far and away the worst Mario Princess, she is the creepiest fucking woman. WHY IS IT THAT NOBODY IN MARIO ACTS LIKE A HUMAN FUCKING BEING EXCEPT THE CHARACTERS WHO AREN’T FUCKING HUMAN. tl;dr the only people who say rosalina is their waifu collect people’s faces

Mii Fighters: you dress them up to make a parody of a character and then never once actually use said parody because they are stupid

Palutena: remember in Uprising how they could make fake Palutenas, this is one of them, they have a fake Viridi too, you know it is because starting in smash 4 it is clearly two different actresses trying way too hard to sound like the old ones and i can’t get over it sorry. (also she plays like shit)

Pac-Man: I only liked him when he was a pizza

Shulk: does he ever shut the fuck up

Lucina: add a red nose and it’s Marth: Tumblr Edition

Chrom: oh fuck off

Robin’s bitchass final smash still calls this clown

even if you use it on Chrom

he is so ashamed of his audacity he fucking fucks himself

[punkwhodrinkstea-blog]

Generation  Neglect and Neglected

Hey guys, I wrote this a while back but I have a lot of good posts on the last site I used for my blog so I’ll be sprinkling a few on here even though they were technically written weeks or months ago, heck maybe even a year ago. Anyway I have more writing to do which will be posted immediately after this :)  Enjoy.

Oh it's good to be back. It feels like it's been a long while since I've posted anything for some reason. So my depression has actually been pretty nice to me lately, I have even been able to sleep normally-ish. Usually in order for me to sleep I have to tire myself out or stay up until 4 or 5 am or I just lay there while my depression consumes me. But lately I've been going to bed around 2am with little dark thoughts. I would like to be optimistic and say that maybe I'm getting better but last time I thought that I went to bed shaking and woke up sweating. Anyway folks I have a topic that has been stirring up ever since the younger generations got smart phones and social media and the generation who raised them got alcohol and lost their motivation. So let's get started. In case you didn't know but for those people who have kids in early college or younger, those parents are called "Generation Disconnect" and it's not hard to imagine why. For example there's a whole world of social media and technology to connect with people that generation Disconnect doesn't fully understand and even if they did, it's easy for teenagers, young adults and even kids to hid their actions, words and reputations from their parents on social media. I'm a pretty good example, however I did have a social life... still don't really but instead of social media I took to Gaming. I've easily spent over 30k hours in the digital worlds of gaming and where were my parents or older siblings? I don't know and I didn't care. I learned to think without them, I learned to think for myself and see things differently, I made relationships through games and did things that my family didn't think was tangible or even possible, I was growing up in a different world from them. After years of doing this I had a completely different mind set and thought pattern from my family, they were... Disconnected. I see a video game and I see people, community, relationships, problems with logical solutions and I saw my friends. My parents have no idea that I have a secret blog, they didn't know I like to write until a week ago, they didn't know how many online relationships I have. None of this was real to them until one day one of my gaming buddies from the USA came up here to Canada to visit. You should have seen their faces to see this guy who I have been gaming with for about 5 years and now here he is, a real person... My parents and their generation is very behind, but its not totally their fault. I mean making friends and meaningful lasting relationships through a game or through the internet was even a thing back in their day. One time I was at a family reunion and everyone was talking about sports and I mentioned that I didn't care for sports so my uncle (big sports fan) asked me what it is I like to do. So I told him I spend my time Gaming and he asked how much I play (this was back in grade 11 so I had a lot of spare time). I perked up and said... always. I told him I play night and day which was true. He then asked if the noise from the TV keep people up at night. So then I had to explain the whole story. I explained that I have a headset with full surround sound a mic, I play in my room alone in the dark with an expensive computer not a Wii or Xbox, I play for competition and socializing. I mentioned the social stuff and all the parents fell silence and watched me. I explained all the friends that I have all around the globe and that I play all night through until I am falling asleep at my desk. This is where I get to the point of this story. He then said out loud to everyone who was now listening, "wow we always hear about these punk but I never thought I'd be related to one haha"... he laughed and I walked away. The point is, this stuff online has been fantasy to the last few generations, even my older brother doesn't understand... and he's a computer programmer. So yeah guys there is this great wall of technology that has divided the people who don't know how to use technology for socializing and those who do. There are teens sending nudes while their parents still believe they have perfect kids. There are people being bullied through the internet and no adults know. There are real, genuine friendships and couples being made in digital space. There are people like me who aren't allowed to speak their mind freely because it might be dark or too blunt and honest or maybe we feel like a problem or an embarrassment so we hide in the digital world where no one can hurt us and if they try then we disappear again. Meanwhile the generation that raised my generation (I'm 19 yrs old FYI) gives us stuff like phones, video games,  Netflix, alcohol and even porn and then says shoe, go have fun on your own. I think that a very large portion of the last few generations have given up trying to keep up with technology and the new way of connecting with others so they have also given up on trying to connect with their own kids and the kids have the ultimate tools to be two faced (or 3 faced or 4, etc). Once again I can be an example, who I am here on my blog is the real me, I don't have to hide anything and I am proud to say I have found some people in my life that I get to be the real me with but at home or with most people, I am not the same.  We hide some things or twist things or whatever to fit with what we think is best expected of us depending on the scenario. I find that people on the internet that can hide behind their Username or Gamertag are really more of their true selves then they are in real life, let me explain. When I say something here I have no filter, nothing to hold me accountable, no reason to treat other people well, I can truly be who I want to be with nearly no limits. Online I can treat someone badly and my reputation isn't ruined because, who's gonna find out? no one. We see this a lot, people fight with words all the time online in chats, forms, comment sections, etc. They are revealing who they really are and I can already bet that their integrity sucks. Now my girlfriend and her family say I am a genuinely "good" person, that's nice. Now I guess they must be right because even online where no one is watching, I still treat other people with respect. Not to pat myself on the back but I think I can say that I have fairly decent integrity. Another example is that when I walk around in real life at my church, work or school (when I was in school) I keep my head down and my nose in my own business because I don't really feel like I belong but meet me online... WELCOME TO MY WORLD! I am free here and I can be myself especially since no one is watching, well actually my girlfriend reads my blog but I am free to be myself with her so it makes no difference. I think a lot of other youth take advantage of this whole "no one is watching" thing, they can do anything and get away with it. Now old people try and scare young people by saying, "even when you delete it *insert social media site*  still has a copy and can see everything you do." yeah sure, that's true but it's not like Facebook is gonna call up their parents and tell them all about how noddy their teen kid has been. Now I wanna talk about how those of us younger folk have neglected others or just kinda kept our distance from those who are suppose to be close to us. I have already told you about how I neglected my family by running off into the gaming world but what causes us to do this? I did it because I didn't feel wanted and I felt like a problem, it quickly evolved into me feeling so out of place that I didn't even fit in with my own family anymore. I think that a popular reason for my generation and younger do this because we don't think our behavior or desires would be approved by our parents. Lastly a good reason is because we do it because this is just how it works these days. I mean is there a better way to talk to all your friends? not really, plus this way you can filter even what they see, you can have the image that you want. The only cost is your integrity, genuine loving relationships and self respect. No big deal. Speak'n of which, where does that leave us when it comes to loving relationships? When the youth and the people who are suppose to be teaching them are so disconnected and sometimes completely absent. What happens? Well just take a good look around. Who seems to be teaching kids about relationships? Movies, TV and Porn... that's right folks. Chick flicks generally show a good deep trusting relationship which is very rare mean while lots of TV and of course porn show the next generation that the physical relationship is expendable. I know lots of people and I see lots of posts on the internet saying that they want that relationship where they have "total trust", "feel safe with one another", "tell each other our secrets" and blah blah blah. However I know almost no one who is actually willing to fight for the other person, no one is willing to fight with each other to settle a difference for the sake of their relationship. But no one hesitates to climb into bed with someone. The point I am making is that my generation's idea of a relationship is crap! And the last generation didn't do such a great job at being "role models". A long time ago there were 2 parents and 4 kids not 2 kids and 4 parents. My generation has few mentors other than our media... which is full of unrealistic expectations not to mention they are morally wrong in most way. Just saying. Next is our mental health, yay fun. So according the posters on the school walls and a quick google search, 1 in 5 people in North America have a mental illness. That is the biggest joke I've ever heard, from my experience and my introverted observational skills I would say 4 in 5 people have a mental illness. A good wise person once told me that if you're "okay" in this world then there's something wrong with you. They meant that if you feel like everything is ok and life is a rainbows and unicorns then you're either really dumb or you agree with all the immoral crap that happens around us everyday. However why are we like this? Why is this such a big problem in today's world? Well scroll up to what I just wrote. My generation and the last few generations have neglected each other, we don't feel loved or valued or accepted. We don't have a mentor or even a decent parent figure to go to for help. We can't be ourselves with anyone these days without getting judged and burned for it later. So folks, I'm almost done here. I was trying to think of a solution to our problem but we can't just eradicate social media or just stop using it. It's a heavy method of communication and self expression. The best idea I can think of is to simply be a good genuine person but then I realized that a lot of people don't have good role models on what that looks like and who's gonna teach them? I was lucky to be born and raised to go to church, though at first I hated other people... still mostly do but life goes on. I have pretty much been studying God and how to be a good person my whole life, I have Jesus' hand book on being good in my back pocket to reference but a lot of people don't, they either rejected the idea of Jesus or they simply haven't been given a good chance to give him or his teachings a chance for themselves. Now I understand if you don't believe in God or Jesus but you must admit that if we all lived by his teachings then this world would be a much nicer place. Anyway that's a different topic. I gotta get some other work done and then sleep. Sorry it was so long and I hope it was somewhat organized but I don't write here for your luxury I write here to let my thoughts run wild and sometimes it comes out smoothly, other times not so much. Lastly I'll be revealing my new social media and blog on tumblr which is all acting as an extension of this blog. Also I will be posting pictures of "my world" on this new blog. My girlfriend once mentioned that some of my graphic design stuff could be used for the blog and for banners and what not at the top of the page or whatever. I thought I'd take advantage of that space to show an accurate yet artistic view of my world. Weather it be a bunch of tea mugs on my desk or the fact that my gaming keyboard is half covered in dust while the half that's actually used for gaming is squeaky clean. Anyway folks, I don't have time to edit this and I should stop typing now. Commencing Radio Silence...  *static sounds*.....