#hhhhh its all ruined.

[bangcakes]

.

[be-good-to-bugs]

>:(

[poppy-metal]

poppy, i fear you may be the only one who understands this vision i had today.

imagine being a brat to patrick and him giving you the "oh, I'm going to put you in your place" smirk. after talking so much shit all day, he ruins you mercilessly as soon as you get back to your place.

your payback? patrick has you face down in the sheets, drooling as he slowly fucks your asshole, spitting down on his cock as lube. one hand is holding him up, fingers inside your mouth, musing "funny how your messy little mouth has nothing to say now". he's got two fingers deep inside your soaking pussy, hooked against your g-spot, using it to pull your hips back to his and can't help but chuckle as you pathetically cum all over him.

peace will never be attained again.

patrick and anal <33333

hhhhh him letting his spit take its time in dripping from his lips to your tight little asshole before he pushes in - god, it burns so fucking good - hurts so good - he completely ignores your pussy in favor of pounding your ass. watches the way that shit bounces off his cock and ripples with every thrust. mocks you for not being able to speak when he's got his fingers fishhooked in your mouth, pulling your lips back, hunched over your back like - "what was that? I can't fucking hear you. say it again, baby. say. it. again." each word punctuated by a vicious slam of his hips.

you can do nothing but gurgle around his fingers and moan stupidly. eyes crossing at how he hits that spot deep in your ass that makes you squeal. makes your feet kick up in an attempt to curl inward but he just hooks his meaty thighs underneath yours, wrenches your legs apart until you fall flat on your chest. he follows, smothering you with his weight, hairy chest at your back as he continues his pounding.

"you don't run from this dick." he tells you gruffly, shoving his face into your neck. the hearty slap slap slap of his sack meeting your neglected cunt fills the room. "you fucking take that shit - awww, yeah - take it in your little - fuckin asshole - "

feels like he's knocking the breath from your lungs with the way he's fucking you. can barely make you out under him he's got you so enveloped by his body. he removes his fingers from your mouth, just so he can lock them together behind your skull, shove your head down into the mattress - and really focus on using your hole to get himself off.

[poorlittleyaoyao]

Closing out the tl;dr Volume 2 thoughts, now the post of Things That I Liked/Found Interesting! This one is also not rebloggable for the same reasons: it's not a review, it's just personal opinions.

Bullet point version!

-Yi City slaps. A-Qing is a fabulous character and her perspective--as a commoner with zero prior knowledge or interest in the cultivation world--is a breath of fresh air.

-Jin Ling is the best boy and I love him.

-I wish the whole book was about WWX being a chaotic middle school teacher because that's where he's at his best.

-Had some surprising and mixed feelings about JGY and NMJ, both separately and together.

~~~~

-YI CITY YI CITY YI CITY. WHAT A BANGER OF AN ARC. I enjoyed it in the drama (fun fact! I watched Yi City for the first time while very drunk, immediately after watching the Eurovision broadcast. do not do this!), but oh man, it is a BLAST in the novel! Worth the price of book purchase on its own, IMO.

What makes it better? A-Qing, mostly. She's got so much PERSONALITY--she's as brash, she's childish, she's extremely clever, she's unscrupulous in little things but tries her best to do the right thing where it counts, her survival instinct is at odds with her fierce devotion towards her first friend. She's a fully- realized character centering her own arc; yeah, she bears witness to the Songxuexiao tragedy, but it's her reactions that take priority. Since this canon generally isn't that interested in its handful of female characters, I was pleasantly surprised by how much Yi City in the novel was A-Qing's story first and foremost. (IMO, this is a rare case of a female character being less developed in the drama. XY, SL, and XXC make their drama appearances well before Yi City, so we've already developed opinions of them; A-Qing as the newcomer is more an audience avatar rather than an active agent.)

A-Qing's perspective also provides a welcome contrast to what we get elsewhere in the story. She's at the bottom of the social ladder. She's not a cultivator. She doesn't know XY's backstory as a demonic cultivation prodigy recruited by the most powerful clan, she doesn't know SL and XXC's backstory behind the little bits they share with her, and it doesn't make a difference to her. She cares about them as her friend, her friend's friend, and the sus guy who ruined everything, and that's enough to make the tragedy matter.

I also appreciated how her lack of cultivation world knowledge isn't seen as as a shortcoming. When A-Qing fails to pick up on something, WWX's reaction is always some flavor of HHHHH OH GOD OH NO THERE'S NO WAY SHE COULD REASONABLY KNOW THIS BUT HHHHHH THIS IS VERY BAD. He even praises her instincts when her intuition leads her to make practical choices! It made me want to sic WWX on the ASOIAF dudebros who hurl vitriol at 11-year-old Sansa Stark for not somehow psychically inferring information that was actively concealed from her. (It also makes WWX's patronizing attitude towards QS later on even more galling, because it's like, I know you're capable of understanding that not everyone knows what you know, WWX! I just saw you do it!)

-Another fun thing about Novel Yi City was that WWX got to actually do badass demonic cultivation shit. The part where he animates the paper effigies to go fight corpses for him? SUCH FUN. I was going "HELL YEAH! BADASS!" right along with the juniors.

-Or rather, right along with most of the juniors, because I quite liked all the content with JL! He's super annoying! He is the best boy! He loves his uncles! He is capable of change and growth! This is how I know that foreshadowing or indicating a character's emotional responses without spoilers is possible: every time demonic cultivation is presented in a non-negative context, JL is visibly uncomfortable. It's a nice touch, clearly telegraphing "JL has baggage about his parents' deaths that are going to complicate things for WWX once his identity is revealed."

(Relatedly, I also was like ☹️ at WN's quiet sadness when he overhears JL yelling and figures out who he is--identifying him, specifically, as "Miss Jiang's son." Ahhh! AHHH!. Sure would be cool if we could see this kind of thing from WWX himself!)

-I know I dragged WWX quite a bit, but the other great thing about Yi City is seeing WWX in Chaotic Middle School Teacher Mode. ("Congratulations! You just got poisoned!" and LQR's desperate attempts at revising his seating chart are the two most relatable moments in this entire novel to me.) If the story was centered on WWX and LWJ falling in love while leading a monster-hunting Montessori, I would read the shit out of that.

-Man. So like. JGY. Everybody says that he's way more sympathetic in the novel, because the novel makes clear that he's good at his job and includes all the lore about his past that the drama largely omits. Finding out that filial piety to his mother was his core motivator is what elevated him from "cherished garbage man tailor-made to appeal to me" to "garbage man about whom I am fully unwell," so I was super excited about this new and improved version of my son with all the pathos left in.

And... sorry, lads, but Novel JGY does not do it for me the way Drama JGY does, and contemplating why he does not do it for me has been interesting. I think what it boils down to is that by the time we meet him, the narration primes us to view him with suspicion. We are told several positive things about him, but what we are shown--what we actually see him do--is neutral to negative. The first time we actually see him outside of Customer Service Mode, he's gaslighting and threatening QS. That scene makes my skin crawl, and the only reason I can come back from it in the drama is that I already have an attachment to him; it's like how watching the title character of Macbeth spiral through Acts I-III mean I can still sympathize with him in Act V even after the brutal murder of Macduff's family in Act IV. Hitting me with the QS scene right out the gate and going "people were real shitty to him tho" after the fact is akin to starting Macbeth with the Macduffs' deaths and then being like "Macbeth had hella PTSD tho": it's not going to recontextualize anything enough to get me fully on board, especially since the injured parties in this case had nothing to do with his suffering.

-I liked Novel Da-ge more than expected, mostly because I was expecting to hate him so so SO much. I liked getting to see him being a normal-ish man for that one singular scene when 3zun are all together before MY tries to join his father. NMJ's good-natured exasperation as he passed NHS's purposely-forgotten saber to LXC was such a heartbreaking contrast to his violent rage when he destroys NHS's stuff, and really drove home how his saber sickness had him fucked up. Similarly, his easy trust of MY and his willingness to let MY leave to seek his fortune is WILD given how he''s going to spend the rest of the flashback in "bitch eating crackers" mode about everything JGY does and aggressively attempting to control him.

-MY killing the commander in this context was silly. In the drama, I get it! It comes off as a genuinely impulsive action. Here? Literally how is that going to accomplish your goals, bud? NMJ's response to it is also silly, because he tells MY that he won't be executed if his story about plagiarism is true, and like. NMJ. How is he going to prove it. You literally were JUST about to kill him yourself after hearing the story. What is happening. Where is my tearful divorce.

-I cannot emphasize enough how much I prefer the drama's Nieyao dynamic. The decision to have MY be in a trusted position at the Unclean Realm for a substantial amount of time adds sooooo much personal investment to everything that unfolds that appeals to my desire for mess. The novel is just a guy going "I CAN FIX HIM!!!" about his shady former coworker and yelling at him while the guy they both dated is like "awww c'mon guys be nice :("

[nonbayanary]

Just gonna vent a little about my fic

I'm rereading some parts of my fic and I WANT TO SCREAM AJDHDJDK like, "NO, HIRUMA WOULD NOT SAY THAT???" but it's ME who wrote it and i want to bash my own head in! To my present self, I feel as if my past self mischaracterized Hiruma so much in Chapter 2, and I feel truly ashamed of posting it at its draft stage. (Although I posted it BECAUSE I was sure that if I didn't do it soon, I would delete the whole chapter entirely smh.)

Which is why I feel genuinely shocked sometimes when people say they like my fic hhhhh. Like please don't get me wrong, I'm so so SO GRATEFUL, and I love all the kudos and comments! But sometimes, I'm teary-eyed, like, "Hiruma and Sena are SO mischaracterized here, and yall still love this fic, despite its flaws and shortcomings? AAAAAAAA!!!"

I'd also like to say that now that I'm rereading Sena's dialogue in my fic, I'm screaming, "SENA WOULD NOT SAY THAT!!!" Like ohmygod, WHAT HAVE I DONE, WHY DID I POST THIS???

But also, I can't really blame myself??? I wrote Chapter 2 when I was low on sleep, and ULTRA HIGH on coffee. Like, after working a 9 to 6 job, which is on a COMPUTER, I'd eat dinner, and then continue spending my night hours writing Chapter 2, STILL ON THE COMPUTER. Veins in my eyes would regularly pop, and I'd be typing deep into the night with scattered blood on my sclera.

Because of that, I was almost always sleepy in the daytime. So I'd combat that grogginess with coffee—TOO MUCH COFFEE. In just a few hours, I'd drink three cups of coffee, and top it off with a fourth cup, just to get the inspiration going. And inspiration WOULD come, but I'd be so high that my fingers were shaking. I would feel like I was on a different plane of existence, lile my whole core was vibrating with caffeine. My hands would dance on the keys of my keyboard, as fast as Eyeshield 21 himself. Yet, I'd be so high that I wouldn't even FEEL the keys on my fingers.

I'd be triumphant—but only for a little while. The caffeine crashes afterwards were shit. Inspiration would stop flowing, and I'd just stare at the screen blankly, all blood-red eyeballs and despair-filled gaze, with the knowledge that I ruined my body—and would continue to do so—for one mere fic chapter.

It's understandable that Hiruma and Sena would say shit they wouldn't, because I was high as fuck, and low as shit on logical reasoning.

Still, I can't help but cringe when I reread my fic, the product of several months' worth of sleep deprivation and self-sabotage. Would Hiruma say, "Lead the way"??? Would he say, "Due to certain circumstances, I will be passing away"??? FUCK NO!!! Would Sena say, "And you're the troublemaking son he talks about"????? Would he say, "So you noticed"???? I THINK THE FUCK NOT!!!

But I think all I can do is forgive myself for this misinterpretation of the characters. I'm glad that at least you guys liked this story, misshapen though it is. Maybe one day I'll rewrite this fic, when my circumstances IRL are better. When I'm out of my domestic abuse situation, and when the inspiration finally flows again, because I'm not in a constant state of fight-or-flight every hour.

Perhaps, perhaps.

[doorrobloxstuff]

Hhhhh Jeff has been rotting holes in my brain for the past week so please Jeff hcs plsplspls

Jeff HC’s for the heart and the soul (gets angsty though)

Incredibly ancient. ‘Has watched the first few support beams rise from the void to form the Hotel’ kind of ancient.

Because of this, he would absolutely freak out if you brought a pineapple into the hotel. Because pineapples are status symbols for the wealthy in ancient times.

So incredibly lonely. El-Goblino is literally Jeff’s only friend. (Other then Hide! Who still visits but just in private.)

Despite being…a bit angry at Jeff it needs the presence of its dad sometimes. It still loves him.

Seek reluctantly lets Screech/Mystery entity see Jeff. It’s not like it can really stop it’s children from doing so. But don’t expect it to show up.

However Seek has yet to allow him near Snare as Figure is already really REALLY uncomfortable around Jeff.

So Jeff visits in secrecy or not at all.

Listen, Figure is really sweet and gentle but if it even smells Jeff in the library it immediately thinks of crucifixes and starts to trill louder and audibly growl.

In spite of their currently …strained… relationship. Jeff still deep down cherishes Seek, Hide and Eyes.

He often has dreams of a younger Seek and Hide playing in hotel corridors.

Or little Eyes singing and whistling while it ricochets around the garden pavilion.

Wakes up crying usually after that.

He often wonders if he did the right thing allowing the guiding light to supply him crucifixes to sell people. Especially given how it practically ruined his reputation and relationships among the hotel’s denizens.

Earned the trust and respect of Gobby though. Absolute best friend moment.

Would definitely stress eat if he could and probably does.

Has.. -CONSIDERED- more so entertained the idea of splitting a piece of himself off to asexually make a child. Would never go through with it though because A: He doesn’t know if he could bring himself to raise another child. B: It hurts. C: He doesn’t want his still living children to think he’s replaced them.

I cannot emphasize the considered enough. He wouldn’t do it now.

[winterrhayle]

cAn yOu rAtE rEpUtAtiOn dEarY aNd I'Ll wRitE sOmeThiNg wInlEt fOr yOu

HELP IM BRIBED SO EASILY OK:

delicate - OHHHHHHHHHHH THIS SONG MAKES ME FEEL THINGS,,, WHENEVER ITS PLAYING I IMAGING THAT IM DANCING IN THE RAIN LIKE TAYLOR DOES IN THE MUSIC VIDEO

call it what you want - this one and delicate are actually joint first in my ranking for rep,, theyre just so wholesome and i love them so much theyre my babies omg

new years day - also soo whilesome and i love this as a simple closer for such a highly produced, chaotic album. it really does make you feel like youre cleaning up after a long day,, ALSO THE LYRICS 'PLEASE DONT EVER BECOME A STRANGER WHOS LAUGH I COULD RECOGNISE ANYWHERE' HURTS SO BAD BECAUSE JOE IS A STRANGER WHOS LAUGH SHE COULD RECOGNISE ANYWHERE NOW :(((((((((( ACTUALLY DEVESTATING.

dress - not so wholesome ! but best believe i will be singing this song LOUD,, also when she talks about joes buzz cut and her bleached hair its so funny because idk how either of them pulled eachother that night😭 they looked so silly (i <3 bleachella though in a campy way)

king of my heart - ok this ranking is so hard to do bc half of these songs are about how her and joe are gonna be together forever and in this one shes literally like 'is this the end of the endings' and then they ended. so...

getaway car - sorry this song is acrually so hilarious im so sorry tom hiddleston 😭 i do not condone cheating but the way taylor admits to it here?????????? so proudly????????????? girl😭😭😭😭😭😭 ohh and the bridge takes my soul to another DIMENSION I LOVEEEEE KEY CHANGES

look what you made me do - ok the thing about this song is that you cant understand it without undestanding the context, the comeback from a year of silence with the snakes used against her,, the music video (which is the best mv of all time btw,,,, ive been decoding it for years now) etc etc i could talk so long about it,, also the rep tour version of this >>>>>>>>> so good

...ready for it - ICONIC ALBUM OPENER ( I WAS NOT READY FOR IT !!!!! 2017 ME HAD NO IDEA !!!!!!!!!!!)

i dont wanna live forever - ok guys can we just talk about how taylor literally has a collaB WITH ZAYN MALIK. WHY ARENT WE TALKING ABOUT THIS SONG MORE. WHAT. i love both of their higher registers in their voices so sos so so much

so it goes... - underrated bop, taylor was so wrong for not playing it on the rep tour because 'you did a number on me, but honestly baby whos counting / i didnt know you were keeping count (lyric from high infidelity,, which is about calvin harris,, aka the last long relationship she had before joe) IS GOLD

this is why we cant have nice things - i love it when taylor talks to the people who wronged her like theyre children,, its so satisfying

dont blame me - this used to be higher up but ive heard it so many times now so its getting a little ruined😭but the OHHHH LORD SAVE ME MY DRUG IS MY BABY ILL BE USIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE (USIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIIFE OOOOOOOhoooOoooooooOOOOOOOOOO O HHHHH) will REMAIN ICONIC TILL THE END OF TIME

dancing with our hands tied - the lyrics are so good and this song feels super nostalgic because the production is very reminiscent of a lot of the songs you hear in 2017 ahhh

i did something bad - i love how she was saying this even though at that time she actuually hadnt done anything bad😭 but this was necessary for the snake character so slay queen🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍 ohh also the dyuuuh dhu dhu dhu dhu dhu dhu IS SO ICONIC,, THE WAY SHE WOKE UP AT NIGHT WITH THAT IDEA AND RECORDED IT??? LMAO????????

end game - WHY DID SHE LET ED SHEERAN RAP LMAOOOOOO SOBBING,,, HE WOULD FIT ON LITERALLY ANY ALBUM BUT THIS ONE😭also this is another one of those depressing rep songs bc joe was NOT endgame

gorgeous - ok i didnt like this song for literal years,, i like it now but its still in the bottom half of my overall ts ranking,, however i DO love the lyric about her cats and the *ding* after

[ermazula]

guys hhhhh i was just gonna write a little ficlit about the nozonico mcyds thing but uhhh its turning into a full length fic smh. it's written in first person which like, i havent written a whole fic in first person since literally forever. so anyway heres a sneak peak. basically if i had to give you a run down, its a day ibn the life of nico yazawa while she works at mcdonalds. so yeah, here it is,

Of course, I begin to start the day off right by taking a long shower. Yes, I wake up a whole hour before my shift to get ready, doesn't every good idol do so? I’d like to think i’m the rule of thumb for an idol which uh... Is a little bit of a high standard. I never made it the big time I suppose. Sure, the amazing Nico-Ni is famous on all of the most popular idol forums, but it was never enough for me. I tried to form my own school idol club in my freshman year, but unfortunately I kinda went down a dark path. Well, not like drugs or sex or anything! The amazing Nico-Ni would never do anything to ruin her career!

Anyway, that’s when dad died. It was around the end of my freshman year. I started to fail a few of my classes, math being the biggest downfall. So after i finished my freshman year, I dropped out of school. 

For a while, I was basically a stay-at-home mom for my three siblings. It was okay for a while, but my mother started to get down on me, saying I needed to do something with my life. She said I’d never make it without a GED or high school diploma. So I got my GED. Simple as pie of course. Then after that I was set on getting a job. 

Agh- I went on a tangent there, didn’t I? Anyway, I have a very specific shower routine so, if you want to look as good as the great Nico-Ni you might want to take some notes.

[gab-has-adhd]

honestly i just got into hxh and . came across ur blog (this post specifically) & i have so much to say regarding illumi / his character (im sorry you're gonna have to listen 😭🤞) anyways onto why i hate this man:

it's so bad kinning him. like so so bad. i've noticed a repetition in which i aggressively relate to characters in animes who were shitty siblings or have shitty relationships w their siblings (think shigaraki from bnha, tsukishima from haikyuu, kirishima from tokyo ghoul, etc.) and it's ridiculous bc the only way i'd ever have realized i lived in a very dangerous (abusive) environment was practically thru watching these characters in shows do the exact same or similar things i did to my own family. and what my family did to me. and what my parents families did to THEM. & i was in denial for literal Years over this and stopped watching anime for like. weeks afterward bc i just cld not face the idea that what my family did to me was horrible (still am in denial but we dont talk abt that.) its just so bad but its even worse w illumi because he's the eldest & we never actually get to SEE his suffering, we just see the end product (which is an almost puppet-like fucked up human being.)

& the part in ur post abt being unable to be truly mad despite them doing everything wrong and messing up ur childhood - i FELT that. like its insane how we (those who understand the zoldycks) all seem to have collective trauma over our families

i cld go on forevr but i do Not wanna be that person 😭😭 yeah im sorry. but i love this series so much i regret not watching itearlier </3

Aaaaaa I feel you anon! The family trauma is real ✌️😔✌️

But see I think I am personally unable to hate Illumi because, well, I feel so close to him. My kin feels for him are ridiculously high at this point. Like I fully aknowledge that Illumi is a horrible, vile, fucked up, despicable mess of a man and I will never ever defend his actions. He was so ruined by his families behavior and his own trauma he basically turned like them and passed that trauma on his own little brother (Killua), this is terrifying. This is so sad.

But Illumi neing a fucked up mess is also what makes me love him because I think despite everything profoundly bad he did in his life, I still feel sympathy for him.

I have that feeling I would have developped Illumi-like personality traits (extremely manipulative and controlling) if I haven't had so many amazing friends and if I turned out to be way, way, way less naturally kind.

When I say I kin Illumi because "I want to look like him", it obviously does not mean I want to be a massive asshole. What I love and envies in Illumi is probably his whole detached and emotionless behaviour, which I am like 100% sure he developped to cope with his trauma. And he's the eldest, while I am the youngest sibling and I have always hated being the youngest LMAO. Also hhhhh he pretty. Beautiful poor little meow meow.

I truly believe Togashi will end up telling us about Illumis childhood. Like Hisokas childhood I sincerely hope he will never share this with us because I just feel like it would be ruining the whole character, but Illumi? We have to see his childhood.

The day he decides to share this with us, I feel like I am going to have the biggest catharsis moment (tm) ever in my whole life.

Fun fact: I also happen to kin Killua. This is extremely confused in my brain JFJRJJJDJS

Thanks for your message Anon <3 it makes me happy to see I am not the only one who relates (too much) on traumatized characters because of family reasons.

Have a nice morning/day/evening 🙏

[joanofdescension]

just found out my sister and mother got diagnosed with bpd,, haha yeah chances quiet bpd/bpd are so high now cus woo symptom train, trauma, and genetics?! whoo I'm just hitting the mark now aren't i I gotta research it more soon this is gonna hurt ALOT autism and adhd not only being my certain thing?? god damn, and I thought Jesus loved me for a second there but it would explain EVERYTHING yknow everything just lines up hhhhh life is going to be literal fucking hell nnnnnnnrghh,,, wouldn't it just be better to stop now lmao WOULDNT BE FUNNY IF I ADDED THIS TO MY CARRD?!?! LMFAO THAT WOULD BE SO FUCKING FUNNY SHEFHSEFHS also this makes the likely hood of eds higher and I think yeah my future is NOT laid out ahead of me this makes sense for the sudden bursts of anger yknow flame lighting up and boom I'm sad,, and happy! and oh no sudden emptiness yeah I feel empty too much these days, I dont dissociate as much but its still there. fear of abandonment is so so so so strong including splitting oh my god finding out splitting is a real thing is so validating chronic joint pain from an early age/severe mental health issues lets goo!!!! lets see which ruins my life first when I'm gonna get older I'm gonna try to ask for a psychiatrist next god knows I need one I want to try to get diagnosed with at least adhd >:) but for rn its not going to the dentist in years LMAO yeah I just really want to get this out yknow lmao but I doubt anybody wants to listen to me fr also having a favorite person sucks THIS SUCKS LITERAL BALLS I FEEL SO DEPENDENT ON SOMEBODY even though I value independence above all else This is like a simplification please please dont take this from me I'm not diagnosed (yet! hopefully.... life sucks)

[runawaybouqet]

// vent || grooming mention || s/h mention || MAJOR nsfw mention || other generally bad stuff.

-

-

-

-

sorry for posting this on my main but like, i feel like i need to address this.

-

recently i broke off a friendship with a really good "friend" of mine. i've talked about them on my main before and if you're on wii deleted you twitter you might be familiar with them or have at least seen them around/heard of them.

they basically crossed a lot of my boundaries by showing me [and others] nsfw uncensored [that i felt kinda forced into], posting s/h uncensored in my discord server [not even in a vent chat, but a PUBLIC CHANNEL, that EVERYONE could see.] fetishizing the concept of psychopathy/other mental illnesses and trauma, normalizing s--cidal thoughts and to an extent, romanticizing it and overall just a lot of manipulation, victimizing, attention-seeking and begging.

they also straight up broke my trust in them by lying about their mental state which pissed me off a ton. bc they knew i was mentally unwell and i get worried SICK about people. i really like being in friendships where both parties can be honest with each other. and they basically just kept telling me everything was fine. then they join my discord server and trauma dump and i was. so fucking upset, and sad and everything. bc i trusted them. and they broke that trust. and it made me think about if they were possibly lying to me about anything else too, which, turns out, they were.

last year i had feelings for them and in early december we were in a platonic relationship that we broke off a week later [that was completely my fault. i dont hold them accountable for that. for context, they were 2-4 years older than me, and they were,,,, 16.]

and now i'm starting to realize that they probably borderline groomed me. they always wanted my attention and constantly begged for me to send them nsfw that i didnt feel comfortable with sharing with them. they were really demanding with me and if i didn't do what they wanted, they'd start manipulating me and victimizing themselves and at some point said "if you don't send me nsfw, i will make your life a living hell". and they constantly forced me to draw for them. sometimes even making threats if i didn't finish something on time.

it's also entirely possible that they did this with other people. a lot of their audience is MUCH younger than them. they're 16 and the average age in their follower base is 13-15. as far as i know some of their youngest active followers are between 10-13 years old. they'd post nsfw and retweet nsfw for all of them to see and it was disgusting. it was one of the first reasons i started disconnecting with them. bc i was so tired of seeing straight up mii porn in my timeline every goddamn second.

overall they weren't good for me. and i'm still trying to recover from the whole ordeal last night. i didn't hit me hard until earlier this morning.

i'm not going to name them or anyone else involved publicly. but i will give a vague thank you to the people who helped me through realizing they were a bad person.

[whirlybirdwhat]

i think ive figured out why dnd podcasts or similar role playing podcasts appeal to me so much when others just fell flat for me

these podcasts aren't just a story - they are a story in motion. only one person knows all the details of the plot, but even then, the players have their own additions. Little bits of unplanned, unthought out interactions that some how hold so much more than a planned, scripted one. Its always a stumbling, breathing to life story, a story whose participants go heck yeah! at some cool plot point or interaction or moment or really cool line. The muttering of - oh god what if i did this, and everyone else going do it, and everything turning out brilliant. The dumb jokes and gags that come with hanging out with friends, the simple joy of giving a character an exaggerated accent or quirk, or dumb name - little bits of humor that seem so significant and then, episodes later, the dm and the players go -what if? what if, what if, what if? what if it was greater? Its a story in motion, its like writing a book but now everyone else gets to see the ideas coming into motion, being created, and put into place. Sometimes, things aren’t planned out from the beginning - sometimes they just fall into place perfectly, and you can see that so perfectly in dnd and the like podcasts. You dont have to have a magic system’s rules entirely made up, you can make them up along the way. 

Its just,,, these podcasts are a story in motion, and as a writer, as a reader, as someone who delights in storytelling and creation - its so amazing to hear the story, unscripted, being created right before your eyes - or rather ears, i should say. 

[stagcharmed-a]

Snape: -is a great example of radicalization at a young age and how quickly and easily people cut themselves off from their friends in the process, damning themselves further down the pipeline-. The fandom: uwu clearly this is about a LOVE triangle

anon you said what had to be said

[gh0st-ranger]

.

[saintobio]

hi ai! thank you sm for updating us with another amazing chapter 🤍

i can’t believe we started out asap with y/n’s health condition 🥲 idk how to tie these all together, but i just know there will be a connection between y/n inheriting her mother’s illness, her mother dying from it, the trauma from her mother passing away, and satoru inevitably finding out about this trauma. and i’m excited to see how this will change him, considering his own mother also “left” albeit not bc of death

i find it sooo funny how he expressed concern that the events in bora bora would cause a domino effect like sir? this domino effect already began on the very first day of your marriage lmao

“he would never in his life be like the twisted man who ruined his childhood and drove his wife away from his son” — read that again satoru. slowly. slooowly. i know we’re just at the very start of satoru’s redemption arc but i hope he catches up soon lol. the cognitive dissonance is too much

let’s talk abt sera! look, i’m sorry she had to be born into a family like that. but her self-pitying, self-destructive if-i-fall-i’m-taking-everyone-down-with-me attitude has got to go. i really think this will come to back to bite satoru in the ass later on in the story. she will do something reckless and he will have to take the blame for it. not necessarily a pregnancy. but i liken it a bit to sera being a hostage taker and satoru urging everyone else to run away while he holds her down, potentially risking his life and maybe even dying with her. something like that. the ship they’re steering is abt to sink and considering the part he had to play in its sailing, it’s only proper he also partakes in its fall; he will be forced to accept the repercussions. i’m also on the fence abt the pregnancy. i don’t know if she’s gonna end up pregnant, or maybe she will pretend to be pregnant. after all, we saw her imagining her pregnancy in front of the mirror. that could be a hint as to where things are headed. one other thing i like abt this chapter is how we see just how dismissive she is towards satoru’s emotions and past history. many times in the story she refers to him as “different,” “unappealing,” and “not being himself,” wc is a stark contrast to how y/n accepts satoru for both his good and bad sides. sera has this idea of who satoru “should be,” and now that he’s not looking like that anymore, she’s beginning to show her true colours. and when sera told him to “move on” ?????? BITCH 🔪🔪🔪 the audacity “there were more problems to face in life” she’s really acting her problems are the only valid problems in existence. who’s being an attention seeker now huh??

toji! i love how his presence in the story immediately calms both y/n and us readers lmfaooo. i know they’re not meant to end up together romantically, but i love how their friendship is so calming, for y/n especially. and when he called her mrs zenin?? BYE my brain short-circuited. literally just being around him will improve her health, no joke. also! i’m so excited to see the zenin kids 👀 lowkey hoping satoru sees them all together, happy like a family 🥴 this reminds me of one of the songs in the playlist but i couldn’t remember the title nor the lyrics ahajsjsk. another thing, i love how you portray the zenins in sn as a happy family, even if in canon they’re anything but 😩 tho since we have asshole satoru, wc is a contrast to canon satoru, i’m not complaining!

one last detail i loved: how satoru didn’t even bother wearing a necktie when we all know y/n is the one who ties it for him in the morning. it’s always the little things 😩

part nine really greeted u all with a hospital scene hhhhh but most ppl called it anyway. yn has been showing signs of a heart condition since the earlier chapters. and omg ur rant abt sera ahah mood

the zen’ins in sn are sooo ooc but like toji did say in part 5 that they do have problems within the family, tho that has more to do w their elders than the kiddos. aside from the company and the pressure of being an heir, there’s not much drama w the zen’ins. maybe that’s why naoya is always up in somebody’s business 💀 he knows everything

the necktie ahahah yea he just goes to the mirror and forgot how to do a tie properly bc he’s so used to yn doing it neatly for him. he misses her the most in the mornings when she was gone <//3

[ellitx]

I was always fond of Once Upon a December, and yesterday out of boredom I watched the movie and bOI rewatching the scene where the MC imagines themselves in a ballroom gave me so much f o o d 👀

Imagine Traveller! Reader, also like the MC lost her memories of her past and now she's living the best of her life in Teyvat ignorant of the world's dark secrets and such. One day while she was out to pick some Dandelions, some pet of hers probs similar to a seelie suddenly darted away and Y/N ran to catch up. Then suddenly the seelie something went inside the ruins (like in stormterror's lair?) and the moment Y/N was somewhat in the vicinity she heard THIS:

https://youtu.be/JZ6buLNIgs8

It was kinda... Surreal, 𝐸𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 perhaps? (words fail me) and the moment the piano became profound she kNEW this tune would lead her home cuz its the very tune she vaguely remembers that is linked to her past. Probs involved with family and everything so she bolted towards the sounds (she didnt question how and where the Seelie disappeared)

Suddenly the ruins or lair became this hallway from a palace/tower? She knows that tune LEADS her somewhere tho thus she kept running towards it desperate to find answers. It lead her to this heavy, large double door and when opened, leads to a ballroom with blue figures (which are actually ghosts but the hazy visage the atmosphere was made them look a little real and blended into the haziness) and the dancers waltzing with their partners were singing. Reader was overjoyed and 'greeted' anyone she can reach as they merely wave and made short polite responses not noticing how echo-y and a little weird their figures were. She found herself wearing a gown all of a sudden and being pulled to waltz with men she cant recognize. She continued to dream and waltz as she sang her heart out on the lyrics before she was partnered lastly with a boy her age. They had a kind smile and as Y/N stared deeply into his eyes she became enamored as they waltzed around. The more enamored she was, the more the world around her turned hazier and hazier and its like they were inside the eye of a storm and were surround by tornado like winds circling them as the music grew louder and louder until Reader can't distinguish reality from dreams.

But as the music slowly died down, the boy she previously danced with, suddenly turned into Aether as he sang the second to the last line (that iNVOLVED FAMILY) "...and a song someone sings~" like magic mist appeared and swirled around Reader and once she inhaled them she slowly lost consciousness and the room returned back to its original state; stormterror's lair.

The Prince of the Abyss murmured to himself as the abyss mages and heralds that were once the ghosts of the people waltzing in her hazy dream watched as Aether muttered aloud: "Princess..." (foreshadowing Reader will bECOME the abyss princess) "I have finally reunited with you, dearest sister.."

(And then cue Venti having a panic attack not being able to find Reader which unbeknownst to him was kidnapped)

but no I cannot stop because I have mANY MORE ENDINGS IN THIS:

#2: just as the sky was painted with radiant yellows and oranges Venti's mouth ran dry; there was a sinking feeling in his chest something is terribly wrong and whatever it is he needs to find it. As soon as he realized his beloved reader was missing Venti was bolting out to where the winds where leading him as he was having a panic attack trying to strain his ears with any sound any 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 that his sweetheart is nearby, then it lead him to stormterror's lair and bolted inside; and just as he did winds suddenly enveloped stormterror's lair and for some reason he cant control it; it was against abiding its own will but Venti couldnt even do or think much before a melodic voice he so desperately wanted to find was right above the floors he's in and he made a mad dash to the stairs and found several abyss mages surrounding you with... Aether? His blood went cold the moment Aether lifted his hand pushed him away, and called your name over and over again, cupping your face as he cried. The moment you blinked and saw him Venti cried in relief and gave you a death hug only for Aether to interrupt and remind them that theyre still not safe.

#3: (YANDERE VENTI WARNING) Instead of Aether, maybe VENTI was the one that played that tune to lure you in; it was all part of his plan. The moment you stepped in his vicinity your dream became more vivid as you spotted him and the two of you waltzed together. But similarly, just the music seemed to die down, the mists/winds kissed you and you fell into Venti's arms just as he hummed and trapped you inside this lair in a blissful sleep in which you can only wake up as he so desires

CONCLUSION: I had a major big brain moment with Venti hope yall enjoyed it as much as I did 👉👈

HELLO?!!!! WHAT IS THIS I WANNA KNOW MORE

YOUR BRAIN, I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND I DIDNT EXPECT THAT YANDERE VENTI BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH HNGGGG

I WANNA READ THIS PLS HHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 😭😭