#they are so fucking straight it is literally repulsive stop trying to erase gay and lesbian relationships with your heterosexuality.

[swagging-back-to]

just saw a popular klance artist just say both keith and romelle are trans. while also trying to say trans keith x lance and trans romelle x allura are gay and lesbian ships, respectively.

these people need to be curb stomped and i am not even joking.

[transmascpetewentz]

if you had to spend even one day as an actual homosexual male in my country, you'd fucking kill yourself out of despair.

i am so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of evil anglo westerners like you treating homosexuality like an aesthetic! we are not your constume! stop appropriating us!

i'm ANGRY because i experience homophobia every single day despite the fact that i hide who i am from the rest of my society, and then i go on the internet thinking it's the one place i can openly be myself... and what do i see?

gay male spaces being OVERRUN with BIOLOGICAL FEMALES who live under the DELUSION that they are homosexual males! and i fucking slam my laptop shut in anger! i'm fucking sick of you people!

WE CAN'T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE SPACE FOR OURSELVES ONLINE.

you have no idea what it's like to be an actual gay man!

you have no idea what it's like to laughed at, taunted, called "faggot" as you walk through your school hallways.

you have no idea what it's like to be excluded and socially ostracized by the majority of your male peers because they view you as inherently dirty and disgusting.

you have no idea of the PAIN you feel when your first highschool crush — the one boy who isn't repulsed by you and enjoys your company — ends up being a straight boy who never saw you as anything more than a "buddy" and abandons you the second he gets a girlfriend.

you have no idea what it's like to live a LIE, to conceal who you really are, to lie and say you're straight when someone questions you for your own safety, despite the fact that hiding you true self only makes you even more miserable and eats away at you every single day.

you have no idea what it's like to wallow in a puddle of your own misery and loneliness, knowing you are going to die alone & unloved due to the miserable circumstances of your own society.

you haven't SUFFERED nearly enough to be able to understand what being a homosexual male is truly like.

you have never experienced any of these things, because you are not homosexual males, yet you still have the loudest voices in online gay male communities.

it's not fair!

why should you get to be happy and enjoy LARPing as a gay man despite being female, while i have to suffer every single day? you don't deserve it.

and, yes, i know you people not my main oppressors. i DESPISE heterosexual males a lot more than i despise you, don't worry. you're not the ones killing us, but i am still irritated with the erasure of digital male homosexual spaces, as well as the transing of male fictional characters, because those two are the only coping mechanisms i have to distract me from my awful reality — and you people have taken that away from me too.

you might argue that i'm mean or hateful or a bad person because of the way i talk, but can you really blame me? the world left me no choice but to be full of HATE and BITTERNESS.

i am extremely disappointed in, mad at and saddened by your community & how you spiritually degrade, humiliate, disrespect and erase real homosexual males.

your blog is a mockery of us. that's all.

This anon is really funny, because even if I didn't experience homophobia, you act like transphobia doesn't exist. There's a lot to unpack here, so I'll respond under the cut.

if you had to spend even one day as an actual homosexual male in my country, you'd fucking kill yourself out of despair.

The suicide rate of trans people in my country (USAmerica) is 50% lmfao. While I'm currently in an okay place mentally, the same can't be said for most others in situations similar to mine. I try to use the mental energy that I do have to do activism that will help me and others like me.

i am so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of evil anglo westerners like you treating homosexuality like an aesthetic! we are not your constume! stop appropriating us!

Trans men exist in non-western countries. The reason that you don't know of us is because it is literally too dangerous for us to come out in countries that do not accept us. The only reason I'm even out to a few people is because my gender nonconformity was obvious before I even realized I was trans, so being visibly trans wouldn't change much in terms of how I'm treated. I also lived in a country where being gay and/or trans is illegal before I moved to USAmerica, and I was targeted there for my gender nonconformity even though I didn't know I was trans whilst living there. Even though I live in USAmerica now, I'm not divorced from the reality of what it's like to be queer in a country where things are worse.

i'm ANGRY because i experience homophobia every single day despite the fact that i hide who i am from the rest of my society, and then i go on the internet thinking it's the one place i can openly be myself... and what do i see?

I, too, experience homophobia every single day, even though I try to hide my homosexuality. Being AFAB doesn't exempt you from experiencing homophobia. Instead, I get to hear what cishets say when they think no gays are in the room. People like me are treated as jokes and predators at the same time.

gay male spaces being OVERRUN with BIOLOGICAL FEMALES who live under the DELUSION that they are homosexual males! and i fucking slam my laptop shut in anger! i'm fucking sick of you people!

Actually, most gay male spaces are hostile to trans men, which has caused us to form our own spaces. If you go to our spaces and then get mad that you see trans men, cry about it. Also, the use of "you people" is so telling. Don't the people in your country refer to gays as "you people" or similar? So don't do the same to trans people.

you have no idea what it's like to be an actual gay man! you have no idea what it's like to laughed at, taunted, called "faggot" as you walk through your school hallways. you have no idea what it's like to be excluded and socially ostracized by the majority of your male peers because they view you as inherently dirty and disgusting. you have no idea of the PAIN you feel when your first highschool crush — the one boy who isn't repulsed by you and enjoys your company — ends up being a straight boy who never saw you as anything more than a "buddy" and abandons you the second he gets a girlfriend.

Actually, yes I do know what that is like! I've had those things fucking happen to me! Except for me, it's not just homophobia, it is transandrophobia as well. People see me as a predator and potential rapist any time I try to express any attraction to men. Why are cis people trying to educate trans people on what it's like to be socially ostracized? Lol. Lmao even.

you have no idea what it's like to live a LIE, to conceal who you really are, to lie and say you're straight when someone questions you for your own safety, despite the fact that hiding you true self only makes you even more miserable and eats away at you every single day.

...are you fucking serious right now. You, cis person, have no idea what it's like to actually live a lie, to lie and say you're a woman and dress like a woman for your safety even though it makes you even more miserable and eats away at you every single day! I understand that cis gays face homophobia but are you fucking serious right now? I really hope that you're joking.

you have no idea what it's like to wallow in a puddle of your own misery and loneliness, knowing you are going to die alone & unloved due to the miserable circumstances of your own society.

Actually yes I do because I am a transsexual man. Except due to being raised as a girl, I have been taught to accept dehumanization from cis men and women alike. I had to spend years unlearning the misogyny I was raised to accept, and I still have a lot more work to do. The thing is, if I was to say something like the statement above to someone, I would be called an "edgy teenage girl faking depression for attention" because you have to be a cis man for your problems to be taken seriously.

you haven't SUFFERED nearly enough to be able to understand what being a homosexual male is truly like.

The only requirements of being a homosexual male is to identify as male and be homosexual. That's it. There isn't a required amount of suffering that you must go through to receive your gay man card, and even if there was, every gay trans man has suffered far more than whatever the requirement is.

you have never experienced any of these things, because you are not homosexual males, yet you still have the loudest voices in online gay male communities.

Actually we have experienced these things, because we are homosexual males, and we face transandrophobia as well as homophobia. We also do not have the loudest voices in online gay male communities. If you're a user on this side of Tumblr, you are either invading transmasc spaces and acting like they are the entire community, or you are in an echo chamber that tells you that we are the loudest in the community.

why should you get to be happy and enjoy LARPing as a gay man despite being female, while i have to suffer every single day? you don't deserve it.

What is it about my blog that makes you think I enjoy being transsexual? I constantly talk about how awful people are to me, how my sexuality and gender are constantly targeted by others, and how all of these problems are systemic. I do not enjoy facing systemic oppression on the basis of my gender and sexuality.

and, yes, i know you people not my main oppressors. i DESPISE heterosexual males a lot more than i despise you, don't worry. you're not the ones killing us, but i am still irritated with the erasure of digital male homosexual spaces, as well as the transing of male fictional characters, because those two are the only coping mechanisms i have to distract me from my awful reality — and you people have taken that away from me too.

Guess what—you, as a cis man, are perfectly able to relate to trans male characters. If a character being trans makes you unable to relate to them anymore, maybe you should examine what makes you believe that you are so different from trans men. Maybe it's because you don't see us as human.

you might argue that i'm mean or hateful or a bad person because of the way i talk, but can you really blame me? the world left me no choice but to be full of HATE and BITTERNESS.

You are not a transphobe because you face homophobia. You facing homophobia was not what convinced you that trans men aren't people. You are using your experiences with homophobia as an excuse to be transandrophobic while the root of your bigotry is actually a form of systemic oppression just like homophobia, except one where you are part of the oppressor class.

i am extremely disappointed in, mad at and saddened by your community & how you spiritually degrade, humiliate, disrespect and erase real homosexual males.

And I am disappointed in how your community excludes, ostracizes, fetishizes, and disrespects transsexual men. Except y'all are way louder about the issue of us existing than we are about the regular dehumanization that we face from y'all.

your blog is a mockery of us. that's all.

Cry about it.

[wolf-queer-discourse]

Adventures in Aphobia #1

So I was scrolling through Tumblr the other day (a regrettable mistake as always), and I had the great pleasure of seeing this joyous post.

*deep breath*

Not gonna lie, posts like this make me real pissed. Pissed because the person who posted this exists in a space where they feel comfortable enough to post this online. Pissed because these posts are so common and often face little backlash. And pissed because there’s nothing better than allosexuals condescendingly explaining to asexual people why they’re dirty attention whores who invent their own oppression. Ace people deserve to be defended against this horseshit. Young people see these posts, and it’s extremely damaging to have your identity be nothing more than fuel for people in discourse to mock you and demand you bled in order for them to notice your pain.

Anger aside, many people do not see why this post is wrong, so why is it? Let’s unpack this clusterfuck of bigotry:

“would love to see substantive evidence of systematic “aphobia” that isn’t actually just misogyny, toxic masculinity, or rpe culture.”

God damn, we are not mincing our words here XD. A few things: systematic in bold, which tells you if you do not make a blood sacrifice on the altar of queer pain you will not be taken seriously. Potential nitpick, but systemic and systematic are not the same thing. I believe systemic is the word they’re looking for. Systematic implies a lot more intentionality that can be hard to prove. Systemic merely means that systems, in their current state, do aphobic things, which they absolutely do.

“Aphobia” in quotes is absolutely rich. Not only will this person refuse to acknowledge systemic aphobia, which is only one type, but this poster casts clear doubt upon the mere concept of aphobia in and of itself. We love to see it.

There’s a lot to unpack here. The statement, as clearly condescending as intended, is sort of correct, though it doesn’t mean a whole lot. Systemic oppression is about the systems in a society (government, healthcare, etc) discriminating against people. Systemic oppression is not bigotry faced on a person-to-person level. In short, systematic oppression is something a person experiences in their overall life, while personal discrimination is experienced on a personal level by people who are not singularly in control of the systems. This post boils down the negative comments ace people face into being called “weird”, which is an understatement for sure, but calling a gay person weird isn’t systemic oppression either.

It’s still bad and discriminatory.

This is such a snotty way to dismiss aphobia as some mere, insignificant comment with no meaning as if it doesn’t reinforce society’s painful aphobic views in the same way casual homophobic comments reinforce heteronormativity and society’s hostility toward gay people.

Ace people face discrimination in healthcare, most notably, which is systemic discrimination, but the systemic discrimination of asexuals really ought to be its own post if I’m to nosedive into it. Even if ace people faced no systemic discrimination, it wouldn’t make this point anymore correct. Discrimination is a perfectly valid reason to feel disregarded by society, and often only ace people are denied the right to feel this way and are instead gaslit into admitting what they face is no big deal and they’re just making it up for attention.

The experience of being pressured to have sex when you’re allo vs ace is very different. The vast majority of allo people do not plan to be celibate their whole lives. Many ace people do not want to have sex, ever. “Waiting for sex” in much of western society and in Christianity is seen as pure and honorable. Yet being asexual and never wanting sex is seen as a deviant disorder and people are accused of robbing their partner of sex forever.

There’s really a specific flavor of sexual pressure that is unique to ace people. Sex being to “fix” someone or because they “just need to try it”.

In this respect, aphobic sexual pressure is better compared to that faced by gay people and lesbians. Lesbians especially often can face this same struggle, men pressuring them to have sex because they think lesbians just need to “try it” or to “fix them”. I can imagine this poster would have no issue acknowledging lesbophobia being the root of lesbians coerced into sex with men, yet she does not give ace people the same.

Imagine if someone said (and knowing our fucked world, someone probably has): “Lesbophobia doesn’t exist. It’s just misogyny. Straight women are coerced into sex too!”

It’d be pathetic bullshit. Toxic masculinity, misogyny and many other issues can all tangle into combined messes with other forms of bigotry. Lesbophobia is an experience that deserves to be recognized apart from misogyny, even if the two are linked. Please stop erasing ace people’s experiences with this when it’s not the same thing.

Honestly, though, this post, as trashy as it is, if anything, is perhaps, really asking: Is there any type of aphobic experience that’s inherently exclusive to ace people?

I still wager to go say, yes, yes there is, but I must make an important point first:

Most experiences of queer discrimination are not limited to queer people.

Homophobia and transphobia are both experienced by cishets in certain instances. Feminine straight men can be victims of homophobic harassment. This does not disprove the fact that it’s homophobia just because a straight man is the victim of it. A tall cis woman with broad shoulders and a lower voice may be the victim of transphobic remarks or comments. The basis of these comments is rooted in transphobia, however, so the fact that the victim is cis does not erase the transphobia.

People who argue that experiences ace people complain about can be experienced by allosexuals are not poking a legitimate hole in doing this. Certain experiences related to aphobia can and are experienced by allosexuals. If you do not acknowledge this, then homophobia and transphobia aren’t real because cishet people have sometimes experienced them.

Despite cishets sometimes experiencing queerphobia, most of us acknowledge that their experience of that bigotry, however unfortunate, is not the same as that experienced by actual queer people. It’d be quite homophobic for a feminine straight man to claim he knew just as much about the gay experience as an actual gay man. Similarly, when allosexual people relate experiences that were rooted in aphobia, it’s overstepping a line when they claim asexual discrimination isn’t real because they experienced elements of it too.

Cishet (cishet including allosexuals) people do not experience their doctors telling them their sexuality might be a disorder or caused by trauma. Allo queer people can experience this with their sexualities too.

“using sex appeal to sell products is misogyny, it is not engineered to gross sex-repulsed people, it is meant to objectify women.”

This is a strawman thinner than my last nerve. Uh, what? What ace people are you seeing that literally think sex appeal was engineered to gross-out sex-repulsed people?? I don’t think this is a core argument??

Yes, sex-repulsed ace people sometimes complain about sex appeal in media being uncomfortable. But that’s it. Every time an ace person shares a discomfort of theirs doesn’t mean it’s the entire basis of their oppression. For the love of God, let ace people discuss their experiences without being blow-torched over not being oppressed enough with an individual discomfort. 

BONUS ROUND

(This was in the tags)

“Completely vilifies celibate individuals” 

...no…? What…? Huh…? 

The most charitable interpretation of this vague accusation is that the poster means celibate people face aphobia as well, due to not wanting to have sex. I have no idea how this “vilifies” anyone, but that aside, as said before: people who are not queer can face aphobia. Also worth noting that society treats celibate people way better than ace people, which is really another example of aphobia. Celibate people can be told they’re missing out (which could be at very least related to aphobic ideals), but they’re rarely called broken. Celibacy is seen more as a respected, controlled ideal in allo people, but when ace people want to do it, they’re just mentally ill.

Anyway, the post was aphobic trash, and it needs to be debunked more often. Mocking ace people online is not a good look anymore, guys. Don't be ugly.

[sgurrdearg]

7, 9, 17

7. What did you do “in the Heart of Woods” and “the Nithing”?

Ughhhh I hate both these quests so much!! I think both times I set out to kill the leshen because I do not trust those fuckos. And then of course, everything still falls to shit. And I am fairly sure I killed Jonna both times in the Nithing too. I wish there was a way to spare her without manipulating Lothar. Like, the dude seriously fucked up and behaved awfully to her by cheating but she was being downright manipulative and abusive, and forcing him to be in a relationship he didn’t want to be in… uhhhh made me feel physically sick so I couldn’t do it.

9. What is your favourite main quest and why?

THE PLAY’S THE THING THE PLAY’S THE THING THE PLAY’S THE THING!!! I love the theatre and I just love it. I love getting to spend time with Priscilla, I love getting to act on stage, I love getting to cast the play. Hands down, my favourite. I love it so much that nothing involving Roche or Regis even gets close tbh.

17. If you could change one thing about the Witcher3 what would it be?

hahaha, just one? oh no… I love this game so much but there’s a lot wrong with it. The things I’d change generally fall into two categories of either: I just want extra content please; or Damn you fucked up. I definitely think they need to be more diverse. The only characters of colour that we see are Ofieri. Which is in a paid DLC. And while not presented totally negatively they are still really stereotyped. It’s just not fair. Like, even random villager NPCs, every single one of them is white. Like. Why.

The game could do a hell of a lot better on queer rep too. We have one gay man in White Orchard, and admittedly he is treated fine. But that’s it. Ciri, canonically attracted to women, and she only has the option to kiss a man. (Ok a friendly kiss, but still.) And you get the option to declare a preference for women, but that’s the only time you get to declare any attraction at all, and sure, she might not want to yell “I’M GAY” in the middle of a sauna with strangers, it does mean giving dudebros the option to erase her sexuality. And Philippa! She is canonically a lesbian!! She has a relationship with Dijkstra to extort information from him. Obviously lesbians can have relationships with men and that does not invalidate their sexuality, that’s not what I’m trying to say here, but the game really tries to big up this big romance they had when it was pretty damn one sided in the books. And they add in a note from an ex boyfriend of hers too, like… ??? Nowhere in the Witcher 3 is her attraction to women mentioned. Yet they really double down hard on a supposed attraction to men. And in the Witcher 2 her attraction to women is basically used as a punchline to a joke!!! As is Dethmold’s for that matter, his attraction to men is literally used as though it is something to be repulsed by and I will always be livid. Anyway this isn’t about TW2. Anyway also I hate straight people and want them to stop making video games and these straight people who defend this shit must die.

[canthugeveryzahhak]

Over the past few years of roleplaying on tumblr, I’ve noticed a lot of hate on genderbends. And the main reasons I’ve seen listed are that they’re either poorly done, just to get around picking the female characters already in the media, just for smut purposes, or that it’s transphobic to take an existing canonically male or female identifying character, change their gender identification, and not make them trans. Just to make my stance on things clear in the first paragraph, I /fully support genderbends/. And I disagree with all these objections for one reason or another. And I’ll tell you why, under the cut.

Firstly, the idea that most genderbends are poorly done, and should thus be villainized. To that I say… Who cares? We have all made some Mary Sue character, we have all attempted to play a canon character only for it to come out ‘wrong’ in one way or another. So what if you add genderbend on top of that, it doesn’t make it any different than any other poorly characterized character. And as long as they’re having fun, it really doesn’t matter! We’re all just nerds fucking around on the internet playing pretend, and all we’re trying to do is have fun.

On top of all that, the idea that a genderbend can't be played interestingly or well is false. I, personally, think the prospect of having someone assigned a different gender at birth and being raised that way from birth is a potentially fascinating realm of roleplay and makes us re evaluate how nature and nurture affect how we act. Depending on other aspects of a given au, this could be more or less important, but it still is an avenue of discussion that, if anything, could give /more/ understanding to people inclined to think that women are treated just the same as men. Seeing a favorite character acting different in key ways /because/ of the way they were raised to fit in a gender standard that is separate from canon seems like a potentially enlightening topic.

Second, people just use genderbends to get out of choosing a canon female character. This sounds as much a complaint about media that doesn’t make female characters as fleshed out as male ones, or doesn’t give us as many well thought out ones to choose from, but nonetheless the burden seems to fall on the genderbender to instead pick a character of the gender they want to play. To that I say, sometimes particular characters are hard to play for people. We’ve all tried playing a new character only to find it didn’t come as easy, and there always needs to be that bit of connection for us to find our muse.

'Well,’ you may say, 'why not just keep him the canon gender?’ And to that I say, some people are uncomfortable playing certain aspects of a character. Perhaps someone who has been previously abused has issues playing a character who has been abused as well, but still connects with the character. That is when they make an AU. This can also happen with genderbends, people not feeling comfortable that their character doesn’t have their own same sex or gender or sexuality. It is no crime that these people change the character in some way to better suit their roleplay needs. It is an AU. People don’t get upset at the coffee shop aus for this reason, why do genderbends get such a bad reputation as well?

Third, the idea that they’re just for smut purposes. To that I say you don’t have to have a genderbend for it to be just for smut purposes. Tons of players play a certain character just so they can use their character to do the do in text form. And villainizing someone because they want to smut with their character is fucking shady as hell. I understand being sex repulsed, but a holier than thou attitude to Those That Do Sex Things is a rude ass thing, and shaming those who like to do smut is ruder still.

Still, the argument remains that the problem is changing their gender /before/ the sex happens, in potentially promoting one type of relationship over another (be it gay, lesbian, or straight). And to that I say literally why does it matter? Sure, if they’re saying that Straight is the way to be, that is one thing. But maybe they just don’t want to play a sexuality different than their own. Maybe they are intensely uncomfortable with genitalia different than their own. Maybe men make them uncomfortable in the context of sex at all, for anything from sex repulsion reasons to past abuse. Maybe you don’t have a clue why they changed the character’s gender and sex to suit their smutting needs, and should mind your own business.

And maybe, just maybe, they did change the gender just so they could make their favorite character a bimbo. And maybe they don’t think their character can fit into a certain kink without being a certain sex and gender. And yes, that can be really fucked up. But that isn’t Just because they’re a genderbend, and there is no telling if they are just because they have ‘genderbend’ in their description.

Lastly, people say that genderbends are transphobic. That, by not making characters trans instead of genderbent, they are erasing trans experience entirely. And what people always seem to ignore when they bring this up is how often there is a dysphoric trans person on the other side of the screen, wanting to play a character that they identify with, as the gender they identify with, who isn’t dysphoric about their own body. A character who has had a different experience than they have, a character that has never felt Out Of Place, a character who they can remove from the bathroom discourse or the dysphoria or the bullying that they’ve already experienced for so long. These are all valuable important trans narratives, but insisting that one must pick a trans character instead of choosing a character they are more comfortable with is inappropriate, and is removing a valuable coping tool from trans people as a whole.

Not only that, but it is saying that trans characters and genderswapped characters are interchangeable, so far as life experiences go. That if you want to play a female version of your favorite character, just make her trans, and it will be just the same. This is, of course, false. Trans people are people who have felt out of place as the gender they were assigned at birth, while cis people are not, and saying that they are interchangeable removes that difference from the discussion entirely. And that is a very important difference.

I will conclude this by saying yes, genderbends can be transphobic. Yes, they can be sexist, yes they can be poorly played. And two of those three things are terrible things that should be discussed and should be addressed when we see it. But that is not for you to determine just by the heading ‘genderbend’, and it certainly is no reason to exclude a whole lot of people who may be using genderbends as a way to cope with abuse, dysphoria, sex repulsion, or just may be wanting to have fun. Just let people play pretend on the internet in the way that makes them feel comfortable. You don’t have to interact with them to stop telling them they’re wrong for how they have fun.

[evermoreeclipse]

Why do you care so much about asexuals?

I’ve been in the LGBT community since around 8th grade and I have never seen another group of non-straight individuals treated the way they are, not only by straight people, but by members of the community they’re supposed to feel safe in.

People, straight and LGBT, are constantly trying to invalidate, erase, or pretend their sexuality doesn’t exist, try to make it out as if asexual people do not face oppression, try to make their problems seem worse, bully them because they ‘aren’t gay enough’, and a whole host of other shitty things that infuriate me because jfc, we are supposed to be accepting of people outside the heteronormative world. People claim that just because asexuals and those on the ace spectrum don’t experience sexual attraction or are sex repulsed, they’re privileged and don’t need a space for themselves in the LGBT community even though they really do.

 I’ve already made posts about the problems, struggles, aggression, and oppression that ace people are subjected to and how we as a community need to get out collective heads out of our asses and stop playing the oppression olympics because YES, ASEXUALS NEED HELP AND NEED TO BE ACCEPTED FOR WHO THEY ARE JUST LIKE THE REST OF US.

I am friends with tons of people on the ace spectrum in both the sexuality and romantic aspects, and I’ve always been fucking sick of the way the rest of the community tries to treat them because they literally treat aces they way they’ve been treated by homophobes, transphobes, and the like. 

But if you want the biggest reason? My little sister is ace. My little sister has been treated like shit by other members of our own community because her sexuality isn’t a ‘typical’ LGBT sexuality. I will not fucking rest until she is accepted into our community by everyone and all the aphobes out there are fucking gone.

So there you go anon, I care because I want my little sister safe and I am sick of the treatment Asexuals experience by striaight people and the LGBT community alike.

[colorisbyshe]

@shaselma can’t figure out how to use a readmore, sooo

Basically, you went at me as if I was a “bigot” outsider criticizing aces rather than a bisexual agender grey-ace having an intracommunity discussion about how cishet aces are trying to pretend like they don’t oppress me. So, y’unno, you fucked up. It’s okay to admit you erased my aceness and fucked up.

Anyways,

Asexuality’s definition isn’t “being attracted to no one.” It is “not experiencing sexual attraction.” Cis straight aces are attracted to the “opposite” gender. Gay aces are attracted to the same/similar gender. Bisexual aces are attracted to multiple genders. Like?? Asexuality is not defined as “attracted to no genders.”

Cishet aces who force themselves into the community do in fact hurt LGBT people. Here is an extensive collection of stories (dozens, if not hundreds) about how cishets in LGBT spaces have made LGBT people feel unsafe. Threaten to bring guns to pride just days before Orlando. And have the power to out LGBT people who displease them. Like? I’m glad you have had great experiences with cishets but a LOT of us have not. And no one is saying they don’t deserve safe spaces, just that they need to create aro/ace safe spaces that can focus on tearing apart societal expectations of sex/romance (like the feminist movement does) instead of glomming into a movement that is largely about normalizing our sex and love.

Read more for length.

An asexual booth at pride takes up literal, actual space that could be used for other booths, including booths that supply condoms and other life saving resources. Booth space costs money, takes space, and require volunteers, all tangible resources the LGBT community si short on. Making aseuxal paraphernalia takes time (designing takes time and effort and emotional labor), physical labor, and money. Spreading awareness for asexuality takes time and effort and labor and money which AGAIN the LGBT community is short on and is better spending it on mental health resources, HRT treatment, HIV/AIDS treatment, etc. Like?? I would love to live in your world where we have infinite time/money/space/energy/materials but that’s not the world we live in. LGBT people are dying because we can’t get enough beds, get enough food, enough medicine, enough treatments.

And you know what? These resources are even MORE in danger because cishet aces have REPEATEDLY threatened to stop funding LGBT programs for saying the A is for Ally. Read about that here.

Straight society doesn’t tell cishet aces fucking shit about being broken or wrong. Like?? Straight society punishes sex and the “wrong” romance more than it ever punishes the lack of either. Cishets feeling sad and lonely isn’t the LGBT community fucking problem. I felt sad and broken and wrong because I was (and am) fat and people rarely ever hit on me. Does that make me LGBT? No. ARe sex repulsed people who aren’t ace LGBT? No. Can they still feel broken and wrong? Yes. Like?? Considering cishets can have low libidos, be sex repulsed, just choose to pursue other things besides sex/romance, and all that shit and feel bad for it... are they all LGBT now too? Or just the ace ones?

Are incels LGBT too? Where are your standards? What about aces and aros who fuck and date? And feel perfectly fine?? Are they not LGBT?

Non-LGBT aro/ace folk are never in the closet. Again, there are no legal, socioeconomic, or violent repercussions for non-LGBT aro/ace people to discuss their lack of attraction. Not telling something about yourself is not the same as being closeted. Closets are something we are forced into. I don’t tell people my kinks. I’m not kink-closeted. I just respect that no one needs to know or asked.

Again, straightness isn’t exclusionary of aces and I have met plenty of cishets who accept cishet aces as one of their own. I know straight poeple who have literally BALKED at the idea of cishet aces calling themselves non-straight. Like my original post said it’s litearlly because cishet aces frame themselves as non-straight that straight people get confused.

Anyways, as as non-bi person can you please shut the fuck about about bi oppression? Bisexuals are oppressed by homophobia, lesbians and gay men do not benefit from biphobia. Biphobia from lesbians/gay folk is called lateral aggression.  And like your “bisexuals make up the bulk of the LGBT community and receive less resources” bullshit misinformation has been THOROUGHLY debunked.

Cis LGBP people do benefit from trans oppression but trans folk chose to fight together with LGBP people because our oppression is often very similar and comes from the same places. Sylvia Rivera has spoken about this.

So, anyways, if you acknowledge that biphobia is a subset of homophobia and nonbinaryphobia is a subset of transphobia, that means we can neatly surmise that the LGBT community is SPECIFICALLY about combating homophobia and transphobia. Thanks. Do you know who oppresses the L, the G, the B, and the T? Cishets. Including cishet aces.

And you literally didn’t name a siNGLE fucking issue or historical event that wasn’t specifically about homophobia/transphobia, so, uh??, What the fuck??

Also cishet aces benefit from heteronormativity so like... no.