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tedesquire · 3 years

Note

ive really liked ur fics so far! i think u said u would do egon and ray fics, so can u plz do one for ray? whatever prompt u want! thx!

Family Man

The heart of the Ghostbusters is a family man through and through, with no family. That may soon change.

A/N: I want to birth this man’s children and be his loving doting wife. Ray Stantz if you’re reading this please wife me up I’ll do whatever you want. I’m also loving this prompt so I might write a part 2? Y’all keep sending in prompts with “whatever you want” so I’m damn well writing whatever I want.

Winter in New York was breathtaking. The Bronx Zoo was all lit up, the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree and skating rink, and of course, the Countdown to Christmas Parade. Local celebrities, news stations, and businesses all created floats and would slide down not too far away from Times Square.

“Mommy,” Your daughter grabbed your attention, tucking her head into your neck. “When are they coming?” You laughed, patting her back reassuringly.

You were a young mom and had a whole sob story, getting pregnant at a younger age than you anticipated only to be left by your then-boyfriend, leaving you to raise your children all by yourself. You remembered sitting on cheap crinkly paper in a sterile-smelling doctor’s office when you were told you were having twins, just about three years ago.

At first, you weren’t sure you could do this by yourself. You were alone in New York City, and aside from a few babysitting gigs, you didn’t have much experience. Thankfully, your best friend came to your aid, moving in with you and dedicating to help you raise your twins. Now you couldn’t imagine life any other way.

Mallory and Elliot were a whopping 3 feet, long lashes, thick, chubby cheeks, and a sense of adventure that surpassed your own.

You, y/f/n, Mallory and Elliot all stood in the chilly New York air, waiting for their favorite float to come by. Elliot sat on y/b/f’s shoulders, anxiously looking around.

For some reason, and you weren’t sure how it came to be, your children were obsessed with the Ghostbusters, this being the group’s first year as part of the parade. Your twins begged you to go, claiming it would be the only present they wanted this month.

They always perked up when they heard a story over the radio about their heroes. They acted out scenarios where they were catching “Ghosts” (which 9 times out of 10 was either you or y/f/n wearing a bedsheet) and pretended they were on talk shows.

You and y/f/n worked effortlessly in October to make them their very own jumpsuits with “proton packs,” black backpacks with broken vacuum hoses sewn together. The twins refused to take it off and insisted on wearing them today, even if their coats were covering most of the ensemble.

“I think I see their float coming up!” Y/f/n cried eagerly, your twins now squirming for attention. Some people might have thought that the obsession with the Ghostbusters would be strange for such young children, but as long as it made them happy, you were happy to indulge. It also helped that the Ghostbusters weren’t unattractive by any means.

The four men wore their jumpsuits and packs, shivering slightly but waving and smiling nonetheless. There were a few painted ghosts that moved around on the float, a little cheesy, but by the way the twins gasped, you knew they loved it.

“Woo!” You and y/f/n screamed, Mallory and Elliot’s giggles reinforcing your shouts. Two of the members looked over and your eyes widened, Dr. Stantz and Dr. Spengler, if you could remember.

“C’mon Mal, Eli, wave to them, they're looking right at you!” You cooed, their faces lighting up and waving with both hands enthusiastically.

“‘Busters!” Eli lisped, drawing a smile from the pair. You could swear you saw Stantz’s smile grow wider, your eyes meeting his brown ones for a second before looking back at your children.

“Mommy, mommy did you see? They looked at me!” Mallory cried as the float continued down the street, wrapping her arms around your neck.

After the parade Ray, Peter, Winston and Egon walked down the streets, briefly interacting with fans. It was amazing how many people stopped to speak with them, ask for their autographs or ask for pictures. Sometimes Ray still had a hard time accepting his newfound fame.

As he was finishing a conversation with a fan, Ray felt something tug on his sleeve, turning around to be met with nothing. He felt the sensation again, this time turning his direction downwards to see two of the most adorable children right by his feet. The ones from earlier, he remembered. It took a second for him to recognize the beige of their pants and the black bags they wore over their coats.

“Well, well, well!” He knelt down to their level, pretending to inspect them. “Looks like we got a few more Ghostbusters with us. Where were you guys earlier? We could have used your help with a ghost.” The pair smiled bashfully.

“We saw you on the float!” The girl giggled, pointing at him.

“You did?” They nodded. “You did! I saw both of you! In these awesome outfits. Now, where did you get these digs?” He asked patiently.

“Mommy made them!” The boy chimed in, tugging on a pair of jeans.

“Mommy made them?” Ray’s gaze caught sight of your running legs, going up, up, up, and fell on your frame, before meeting your own. He felt his jaw drop, heartbeat pounding in his ears. “Mommy made them.” He repeated, not realizing the way his voice dropped, watching you lightly scold your children for running away in such a crowded place.

You were beautiful. With large, inviting eyes, and a wide, warm smile. You must have been the one screaming. Ray realized he had been quiet for too long, awkwardly clearing his throat and composing himself.

“And what are your names?”

“This here is Elliot,” You ruffled your son's hair. “And this is Mallory.” You patted her shoulder. If Ray thought your looks were top-notch, you had a voice to match, practically making his knees buckle.

“You guys look amazing. Caught any ghosts yet?”

“Yeah! We got one last night.” Elliot nodded, pointing at his bag. “He’s in here.”

“Oh!” Ray gasped dramatically. “Better not let him out. Good work guys.” He held up his hand, your twin's own chubby fingers meeting his for high-fives.

“I hate to ask,” Your voice broke through the cute interaction. “Would you mind taking a picture with them? They absolutely adore you guys.”

“Yeah! Oh yeah! Let me just round up the guys.” He excused himself, giving you time to prep your camera, rolling until the film clicked.

“He’s cute.” Y/f/n sang, bumping your hip with her own, having caught up to you. “Here’s the plan: tonight I dress up as a ghost, we call their number, you go make out with Dr. Puppy-eyes.” You playfully rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

Since having your kids, you didn’t have any time to date. Okay, that was a bit of a lie, but it was hard to find men in New York that actually fit your type and like children. And yours were non-negotiable.

“And don’t start rambling about how men don’t like children, some do. And trust me, that man thinks you’re one hot mama.” She teased, much to your annoyance. “We take this picture, and I’ll take the kids for a fennel cake. If you don’t give him your number, I’ll rile them up so much they won’t sleep tonight.”

“That sounds like hell for you and me.” You grumbled, noticing the men were starting to come together.

“I’ll do what I have to do. You need to go out on a date, dress slutty, flirt, makeout a bit! Just don’t go making child #3.” You playfully smacked her arm, turning your attention to the group. Mallory and Elliot had been picked up by Ray, one twin in each arm.

“That’s perfect!” You cried, taking a few shots. You were about to tell Ray he could put the kids down, when y/f/n opened their mouth.

“Actually, can we get a few shots with Mom in there?” They took the camera from you, lightly shoving you into frame. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment but it was too late to back out, standing next to your kids and smiling.

Once the pictures were taken, Ray introduced them to the rest of the group, who were polite enough to let them carefully, very carefully, touch their equipment.

“You’ve just made their day.” You chuckled under your breath. “I swear, all they wanted for Christmas was to meet you guys.”

“Really?”

“Really!” You nodded, holding out your hand. “Y/n Y/l/n, otherwise referred to as Mommy.” If you saw the tips of Ray’s ears reddened you only attributed it to the chill of the wind.

“Ray Stanz.” He shook your hand cheerfully. “And who’s your friend over there?”

“Y/f/n. They help me take care of these two goofy-goofers.”

“Oh!” You could hear the inflection in his voice.

“We’re not a couple, they’re too out of my league.” You supplied. Usually you weren’t bothered by the insinuation but for some reason you felt it necessary to mention. “I tend to go for…” You eyed him quickly. “Well, I’ll stop myself there.”

Though it may not have been obvious to you, Y/f/n and Peter could tell Ray was completely infatuated with you. Too caught up in your own conversation, you missed Peter handing y/f/n a slip of paper with his direct line on it and the mischievous glint in their eyes.

Soon, it was time for you all to leave, a heartfelt goodbye from your children plucking the Ghostbusters heartstrings, one more affected than the others. His eyes lingered on your form, tenderly holding your children, and felt a pang of curiosity, amusement, and longing.

“Hey, Stantz.” Venkman called from his desk, startling Ray who had been tuning up Ecto-1. “We got a potential bust.” A few days had passed since the parade, and Ray couldn’t get you off his mind. He could take down some of New York’s highest-potential threats but at the thought of asking for your number, he faltered.

“Shouldn’t we turn the alarm on?” Ray started shuffling to his cubby to prep.

“Nah, whoever called is just unsure and wants to be safe rather than sorry. You won’t need the suit, just bring the PKE. And maybe a puff of cologne or two. Whoever was on the line sounded pretty attractive, maybe you could snag a date.” He teased.

“Oh. Well, if you say it’s a low threat it probably is.” Poor Ray, Venkeman thought. Not a thought behind those eyes.

He waited to pull the receiver back up to his ear after Ray left, smiling to himself. “Y/f/n? He’s on his way.” He was giddy at his setup, eager for Stantz to return to tell him how it went. “Hey, do you think she’ll make me a godfather?”

You were busy playing with your children, hoping to tire them out before their bedtime when the door rang.

“Hi!” Ray’s polite face morphed into a wide grin at seeing you open the door, the wind practically being knocked out of him. What were the chances?

“Dr. Stantz-uh, Ray! What do we owe the pleasure?” You seemed a little shell-shocked as well, but smiled nonetheless, puzzling him.

“We got a call at the station to come over and check things out? Something about a ghost or two.” Your cheeks flushed, sparing a nod into the house behind you to conveniently lose sight of y/f/n. Ray took the opportunity to look you over, gesturing to the large white sheet around your shoulders.

“Is it uh, chilly in there?” He prompted, and you opened your mouth to answer.

“BZZZZZZZ, got you mommy!” Elliot bashed into your leg, and you winced softly as the vacuum hose dug into your leg, but you kept up the act, taking the sheet off and faking slurping noises as you stuffed it into his backpack.

“Wow!” Ray broke the scene, having knelt down as well. His exclamation grabbed the attention of Mallory who trotted up to the door. “Thank goodness you both were here! I thought I would have to call back up.” The twins giggled hysterically, wrapping their arms around Ray and beginning to chat his ear off.

A cool breeze hit straight through you and you shivered. “Kiddos, Dr. Stantz has got to be freezing, let him come inside. That is, if you want to. I think my roommate made a fake call.” You directed your last part of your sentence to him, trying to ignore the way your heart fluttered as he continued to hold your kids, picking them up and coming inside.

“It’s no trouble at all really, I’d rather investigate false claims just to make sure there’s nothing there.” Poor Ray. He didn’t catch on to the true intent of the call. “What do you say guys, should we check your house for ghosts?” Elliot and Mallory squirmed to get down, cheering their intent.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face even if you wanted to, thrilled at how happy your twins were as Ray pulled out some ghost detection device and had the kids “help” with scoping the place out.

“Mommy, let’s play more ‘busters.” Mallory begged, and you felt a blush crawl up your throat.

“Honey, I think Dr. Stantz may have to go.” You tried, knowing he probably had to get back to work. You felt a bit disappointed at the thought, trying not to let it consume you. He was just a guy, why were you getting so worked up.

“Please, please!” Elliot begged, pulling on Ray’s shirt.

“I can stay.” Ray offered, looking up at you with those big brown eyes, a grin at the corner of his lips, unzipping Elliots bag and holding the sheet in his hand.

The next hour of your life could only be described as the happiest moments you had had in a while. The twins directed the both of you as you played, Ray teaming up with one of your kids as you and the other were ghosts, Ray being a ghost himself and making loud noises and funny faces, or even you and Ray being ghostbusters and playing hide-and-seek with your children. He is so good with kids, you thought. Why did this man seem so… perfect?

“Alrighty!” You called once you had been “busted” for the 7th time. “It’s time for us to get ready for bed!” Your ears perked as y/f/n came out of her room, offering to help put the kids to bed. You tried not to roll your eyes at the way she teased.

“Say goodnight to Dr. Stantz.” You instructed, trying to keep your breathing even as they hugged him goodnight, his soft voice wishing them well.

“Thank you for tonight.” You chuckled under your breath. “They will never forget this.”

“It’s no problem, at all. Really.” He stood, running his hands through his messy hair. You felt a panic at realizing this would probably be the last time you saw him.

“Can I get you something before you go? Coffee, tea, hot chocolate?”

“You don’t have to-”

“Nonsense. It’s the least I can do.” You led him over to the kitchen, apologizing for the mess as you put a kettle on. “Two kids, two adults. We barely function.” You teased.

“I don’t think that’s true. You’re a great mom. Not a lot of kids have that these days. Is it uh, just you four?” He asked, tracing the grooves on your counter.

“Yep.” You sighed, leaning your hip against your fridge. “Their “dad” split once he found out, y/f/n moved in, and we’re all one big happy family.” You smiled softly to yourself. “But I’m sure our life here is quite boring compared to yours.”

“No, no. It’s refreshing.” He reassured you, in awe of how someone could let you slip from their fingers. “I’m just wondering how they became so fascinated with us.” You snorted, grabbing a tin of cocoa powder from your cabinet.

“It might have been a news story or radio broadcast. I don’t know, truly. They just seemed to be enamored with ghosts and how you catch them. How did you get into it?” Ray had been listening patiently, growing excited as he launched into the story of the ghost at the New York Public Library, how he, Venkman, and Spengler were fired from Columbia, the Gozer incident. It was your turn to listen patiently, preparing the mugs of hot chocolate as he spoke.

He seemed to approach everything and anything with pure, unadulterated enthusiasm and passion. He seemed genuinely excited about everything, his hands flapping as he described his stories.

“See, this is why I never discouraged their love of you all.” You slid a mug over to him, letting him blow softly through the whipped topping to let it cool. “You guys are so brave, caring, and intelligent. Most moms would freak out at their 3 year olds having such a weird obsession, but it doesn’t hurt anyone. You do genuine good for the city, and I’m surprised at the kindness you still have after being teased about ghosts and paranormal activity for so long. Once people alienate me they're out of my life.” You admitted, missing the way Ray looked at you.

She’s amazing. He thought, the both of you slipping into comforting silence as you drank.

“Can I help you clean up?” His question threw you off guard.

“That’s okay, I was just going to do the dishes before going to bed.” You waved him off.

“Let me help. I’m a great dryer, you won’t regret it.” You couldn’t tell if Ray was laying it on thick or if he was genuinely this charming and charismatic.

“Alright Stantz, but if I see a drop of water on anything, you’re out.” He broke into another wide grin, nodding eagerly.

The two of you seemed to make a good team, you scrubbing and Ray drying. Hell, it was better than doing the dishes by yourself, that’s for sure.

“Last one,” You called,holding out a mug for him to take. His fingers wrapped around yours, prompting you to meet his warm gaze. “H-hi.” Was the only thing you could think to say, surprised at the way he was looking at you, like he wanted to kiss you.

“Let me take you out. On a date.” He cleared his throat, his voice a bit weaker at his “Please.” that followed his request. You struggled for a moment. Though the voice inside your head was screaming “YES,” you couldn’t stand to get hurt, or for your kids to lose faith in one of their heroes.

“What if I told you I only go out with my kids?”

“Bring them along! I’d love to see them again.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He took the cup out of your hands to dry, trying not to let his nervousness show.

Your resolve melted instantly. If Ray had wanted to leave he would have, but instead he stayed and played. He seemed to care about your kids, even if he didn’t know too much about them. Fuck it, Y/f/n was right, he was a once in a lifetime guy, and you owed it to yourself to have fun.

“Ray?” He set the cup and towel down, feeling your hand on his arm, pulling him to your height. You pressed a slow kiss to his cheek, ending too soon for his liking. “I’d love to go out with you.”

That night, the streets of New York wouldn’t wake up to the loud sirens of Ecto-1 but to Ray hollering excitedly as he raced back to the firehouse, willing for the night to be over so he could be one day closer to your date.

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lunaticsandidiots · 3 years

Text

old blue flannel

read on ao3

synopsis: just how long can you and Economos stay as nothing but colleagues?

pairing: john economos x gender neutral reader

word count: 3.2k

warnings: explicit language, mild sexual content, mutual pining, pure fluff, cheesy cliches

a/n: ok so the Economos fic is FINALLY done and my god is it pure, tooth-rotting fluff. i'm literally so obsessed with this 6'5 teddy bear of a man i want to marry his god damned socks off. this is truly just pure, self indulgent, mutual pining, fanfic trope goodness. it's literally just free therapy ur welcome <3

You’d always had a way with technology. Whether it was pulling apart and tactfully reassembling your brother’s Gameboy on Christmas Day age 3, or effortlessly sneaking past your college’s firewall to delete your attendance warnings at 20, you always felt most at home with your head buried in a screen.

Unlike all the other kids around you wanting to grow up to become a news anchor or a veterinarian, you never had a dream job. As long as you made a liveable wage doing the one thing that came naturally to you, you couldn’t care less about what it entailed. It was that attitude that landed you smack bang in the middle of a black ops squad, tasked with locating and defeating a mysterious and volatile alien race, referred to as ‘butterflies’.

You were no stranger to working clandestinely, your talents were often sought after by more unlawful characters, but this was the first time you’d ever worked for the government, not against it.

You were shaking slightly as you walked through the front door of the old video store, the energy in the room cold and unwelcoming. Your first introduction did nothing to quell your nerves, as the blonde lady in the corner introduced herself as Harcourt with a disinterested nod.

It wasn’t until you set yourself up at, what you assumed to be your desk, that the vibes in the room took a turn for the better. A 6’5, bearded, bespectacled man in a blue flannel and worn jeans smiled as he approached you, complimenting your Twisted Sister t-shirt and introducing himself as John Economos, the other half to your tech team of two.

That was the first time you’d smiled that day, and the end of the day brought many more.

The two of you were the last ones out of the office, still typing away long after Chris and Adrian had left the building loudly, Murn and Leota had calmly wished the two of you a goodnight and Harcourt stalked off mumbling something about a beer. You yawned as you checked the time, 11:13pm, and switched off your computer for the night. Habitually, you settled your headphones in your ears and resumed your playlist as you packed up your things and made a beeline for your car. The sound of muffled speech and a light tap to your shoulder stopped you in the middle of the hallway.

“You like the Buzzcocks?” John asked with a gentle smile as you pulled out one of your headphones to hear him properly. You looked at him dumbfounded until he pointed at your phone,

“The uh, your music, it sounded like Pete Shelley.” he fumbled, readjusting the glasses that slid down his nose.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, sheepishly looking down at your phone to see Orgasm Addict blasting at full volume. You were so deeply entrenched in your own world that you hadn’t stopped to realise how loudly your music was playing.

“I always liked their B-Sides more.” you chuckled nervously, your eyes straining to look up at him. The two of you were standing face to face, wedged closely together in the small corridor that led to the carpark, meaning your head was lying nearly horizontally just to look him in the eye.

He was a scruffy looking man; it was clear he’d neglected getting a haircut for at least a few months, and you could see the grey hair that formed at his chin creeping out to slowly consume the rest of the coppery hair in his beard, though all this did in your eyes was add to his comforting, pragmatic charm.

You raised your dangling headphone towards him in a silent offering, and the two of you walked shoulder to shoulder all the way to your car, subtly nodding your heads to the beat as the rest of the song played out. You’d be lying if you didn’t sneak a few glances in his direction, enjoying the warmth it brought to your stomach as you watched him bop along. You swore you saw him sneak a few of his own from the corner of your eye, but by the time you got home, you just chalked it up to tired, blurry vision and first day nerves.

You wished him a goodnight with stars in your eyes and watched him get into his car, waving as he comically climbed into his contrastingly tiny vehicle. You laughed as you climbed into your own car, hearing his Nissan Pulsar GTI-R sputter to life and grumble all the way down the street. Just like himself, his car was offbeat and striking and so incredibly endearing.

Maybe this new job wasn’t so intimidating after all.

Almost an entire week passed before Murn threw you a bone. He’d learned of a possible butterfly possession of one Royland Goff, a US Senator. Due to the political sensitivity of the situation, it didn’t take you long to realise the preparation needed for this mission would require at least a few all nighters from you and John to ensure the team’s stealth and safety.

You held back a jealous sigh and kindly waved goodbye from your desk as the rest of the team said their goodnights and filed out at a reasonable hour. Your brow quirked up in confusion as you watched John follow the rest of them. His monitors were still on and you knew he was supposed to be staying back with you, your tasks far from complete for the day. So where was he going?

Your questions were finally answered twenty minutes later when he filed in with two astronomically large styrofoam cups and a plastic bag dangling from his wrist. He set the cups down next to you and slovenly tipped the contents of the plastic bag out onto Leota’s desk, covering it in brightly coloured packets of sugar and additives. You looked up at Economos with a curious smirk as you took a sip from the cup closer to you, the overpowering taste of red bull and peach syrup assaulting your tongue.

“The first rule of an all nighter, young padawan, is sugar. Big-gulping, tooth grinding quantities of sugar.”

John kept your spirits up with his jovial anecdotes and classic rock playlists all night, long after you usually would have given up and clocked out. You started to hit the wall at 4am, and by 4:30, you could no longer tell the difference between the letters and numbers in front of you. Your eyes burned and watered every time you tried to separate the endless lines of code, prompting you to groan as you slammed your elbows on the desk and rubbed your eyes in exhaustion.

Your head was quick to perk back up from it’s spot at the sound of the once-quiet music growing louder and louder. John was no longer at his desk, he was standing by the old stereo, bobbing up and down at the knees as he slowly cranked up the volume dial with a devilish grin. He began to jerk his head back and forth, his hair bouncing in front of his eyes as Paranoid by Black Sabbath began to play.

You watched on in pure amusement as he began to lip sync along dramatically, but your smile dropped when he held out his hand in invitation. You stayed firmly planted in your seat, shaking your head and laughing, until he started beckoning you towards him with a grabbing motion. If it were with anyone else, you’d feel far too embarrassed to even consider the idea of dancing, but you were reaching a 5am level of delirium and there was something undeniable about the way he invited you that coaxed you out of your seat.

You jumped around and around and around in circles, your arms splayed out like a spinning top until you were face to face with him, just in time for the next verse, in which you both threw yourselves around the room with reckless abandon until your necks ached from head banging and your lungs hurt from laughing.

Harcourt and Adebayo were the first to arrive back in the office the next morning. Leota had her head cocked to the side, soaking up the sight before her with a tender smile. Harcourt took a picture which she immediately sent to the group chat, before rolling her eyes with an amused chuckle and setting off to make coffee.

John was fast asleep, sitting upright and snoring lightly in an old, ratty armchair in the corner of the room. You were curled up on the equally ratty couch right next to him, your shoulders covered by his worn, blue flannel. Empty packets of skittles and gummy worms littered the table in front of you, prompting Leota to laugh as she left the both of you to sleep a little longer while she helped Harcourt in the kitchen.

It was months before Murn sent you out into the Field. He usually kept you back to work in the office with him, while the rest of the squad ventured out into the world, heeding Waller’s advice that you worked best in the shadows from behind a screen in a quiet, mellow environment. The arrangement worked well for you all, until the time came where Murn needed all hands on deck.

Just like your first day, you entered the van shaking like a leaf. Murn had warned everyone that the drive would take an hour or so, but you couldn’t remember a single second of it, spending the entire journey tuned out and dead silent.

Economos waited until he had parked the van and let everyone else file out to finally address your catatonia.

“You’re safe inside the van, don’t worry. I’ve been in the field a thousand times and I’ve never even seen a hint of action.” he smiled reassuringly, wandering over to his bag. You watched as he pulled out a small portable speaker and a packet of skittles, his smile widening as he watched you form your own.

Once John had cracked open the sweets and set up the speaker to quietly play ‘Best of Hanoi Rocks‘, you started to feel a little more at home, and by the time the others confirmed their whereabouts over the comms, the two of you had settled back into your usual groove.

Everything ran smoothly up until you heard Adrian grunt over the comms, following a dull thwack. You had no time to figure out the source of the noise or the state of your colleague, shortly being interrupted by a ‘shit’ hissed from the other side of the vehicle. You swivelled in your seat to face John, who was hunched over a monitor displaying the building’s security camera feed.

A single, dark figure stalked towards the van. You couldn’t see any weapons in his hands, though he wore a large, black jacket that could have been concealing a whole artillery for all you knew. You could feel the air struggle to make its way down your windpipe as your whole body resumed its trembling. You faintly recall John grabbing you by the shoulders, gently shaking you as he reassured you with words you couldn’t comprehend. Watching him grab a small handgun and slipping out of the van was a distant, foggy memory as you sat in anxious silence, waiting for his safe return.

Seconds dragged on like hours as you bounced your leg impatiently, trying to silence the catastrophic ‘what if’s that flooded your mind. You were startled out of your fearful stupor by a heinous thump against the side of the van.

The thump was owed solely to the back of Economos’ skull, as his attacker grabbed him by the face and slammed his head against the side of the van with a grunt. John’s gun was long forgotten, being knocked out of his hand to slide somewhere under the vehicle the moment he slid the door shut. Despite their notable size difference, the assailant was a lot more agile and a lot better equipped than Economos, hence why he was able to subdue John with a kick to his sternum and a knife to his throat.

Economos’ vision was starting to blur as he failed to draw a solid breath. Even if he did have his inhaler on him, it served no purpose now there was a sharp blade pinching at the skin of his neck. John had no idea how to get out of his situation, his eyes darting around frantically in search of a weak point or weapon he could use.

He didn’t have to search for too long, as another dull ‘thump’ resonated in his ears. His attacker unceremoniously dropped to the floor, the knife clattering against the asphalt next to him.

Economos was frozen in awe as you stood before him, a petrified frown plastered on your face as you white-knuckled a crowbar in your shaking hands. He could see your shoulders heaving up and down with laboured, panicked breaths, your wide eyes frozen on your colleague, refusing to look down at your unwilling victim. You didn’t know if you’d knocked him out for a spell, or killed him entirely. Hell, you were so shaken you didn’t even know which way was up.

Unlike you, Economos was swift to step into action, making quick work to drag the body out of sight, collect the knife and his missing firearm, and then bundle you, and the rest of the assault weapons, back into the van. You hadn’t spoken a word, or let go of the crowbar as John tidied up the aftermath, finally releasing your grip from it after he sat you down and pried it from your hands. You could vaguely register the music playing in the background, and you could see that John was trying to talk to you, presumably asking if you were alright.

Your eardrums were rumbling like tiny timpanis in your head as your body remained in fight or flight mode. You hadn’t stopped shaking since you entered the van that morning, though the adrenaline had bolstered your tremors right into vibration territory, and while your mind was racing with every thought under the sun, not a single word dared to escape your lips. John had a worried look plastered on his face as he tried and failed to get through to you, taking his turn to grip the crowbar in anguish.

“Okay, say something if you can hear me.”

Nothing.

“Literally say anything. Like, ’Chris is a big fat idiot.’ or ‘Adrian has a thimble dick.‘. Anything.”

You faintly processed his words, though all you did was sit and stare and gawk, your eyes darting between the lenses of his glasses.

“Make a noise. A movement.” he suggested, ever-so-gently tapping the side of your face with the tips of his fingers. You focussed on his touch as it resonated within you, finding the warmth grounding and soothing and highly addictive.

“Literally anything, please.”

So in your epinephrine fuelled haze, you did the only thing that, in that moment, felt worthy of returning back to earth. Your hands cupped his face, his beard scratching at your palms as you pulled him in for a bruising kiss.

Economos clumsily dropped the crowbar in shock, hearing it clink and clatter to the ground as he felt your soft lips attempt to pry his open. Your hands slid down his chest to pull him closer by the collar of that same, blue flannel, and you huffed in satisfaction as you felt one of his large hands envelope your cheek, the other slipping around your waist to hold you close.

The two of you shared enough clumsiness to put the three stooges to shame, so it wasn’t long before your teeth bumped together and your nose knocked Economos’ glasses off their perch. You both broke the kiss, unable to hold in laughter, and you took a moment to soak in the sight in front of you. The sides of his eyes housed a jovial sprig of laugh lines and your chest burned with contentment as you watched him readjust his glasses to sit properly atop his blushing face.

“I guess I did say anything, huh?” John laughed, his eyes fleeting down to gaze at your lips for a moment, before returning to your spellbound stare with a silent plea. You were eager to accept his invitation this time around, hastily capturing his lips with your own once more.

Economos responded much quicker this time, tugging you closer to sit side saddle on his lap with ease, and smiling into the kiss as he heard you squeak. You boldly reached up and removed his glasses from the equation altogether as you bit your lip timidly, though your nerves were soon quelled by the oddly comforting tickle of his unruly beard against your face as you kissed him again.

The tension between you didn’t take long to heat up, both of you willingly following your subconscious desires to satiate that deep, growing, craving for more. Your arms snaked around his neck in an attempt to kiss him deeper, wanting to keep him as close as you possibly could, and John returned the sentiment as his warm hands caressed your sides, eventually resting on your back, just below your rib cage, to hold you flush against his body.

Your fraternising was interrupted by an obnoxious cough. The two of you pulled away quicker than lightning to turn to the source of the sound to see Harcourt and Leota standing outside, smirking through the driver’s seat window. You’d forgotten about those.

You soon clocked your compromising position, still seated atop Economos’ lap with your legs dangling over the floor and your arms still hooked around his neck like a weird, fucked up Santa Claus photo.

Leota folded her arms as she watched the two of you scramble away and pull yourselves together, with a deeply amused grin. Your head was hung low to hide your apparent glow of embarrassment as you trudged away to open the van door.

Your mouth opened to let in a gasp when you felt yourself being spun back around, though you had no time to inhale as you felt Economos plant one final, fervent kiss against your lips. You’d be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t tie your stomach in knots, but you pulled away after a moment, shocked by the muffled sound of Leota whooping and clapping from outside.

“What was that for? They just saw that!” you chastised John in a whisper, though your inability to pull away from him exposed your true, underlying gratification. You watched as John puffed out his chest, internally he was hyping himself up, begging and pleading his mouth to let the words out.

“Because I like you.” he stated, with a curd nod. You looked up at him from under your lashes, and he watched as a playful smile began to take shape across your face.

“Well, I like you too.” you stated back with a terse bob of your head, turning to finally slide the van door open.

“You owe me fifty bucks, Emilia!” you heard Leota holler.

“God fucking dammit.”

#peacemaker #the suicide squad #economos #john economos #economos x reader #economos x gender neutral reader #john economos x reader #john economos x gender neutral reader #z’s writing

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bearseokie · 4 years

Text

you're being stalked | Got7 Reaction

request: Heyo I was wondering if you could do a got7 comfort reaction where their girlfriend wants to go shopping but last time when she was alone these creepy dudes kept following her. And they don't believe her until they go with her and it happens. Sorry if this is a touchy subject, you don't have to write about it if u don't want to. It uh sorta happened to me before so i was just wondering how they would react. I love ur writing so much especially trash panda yuggie. Have a good hiatus 💚💚

[warnings]: fear (trigger warning: stalking!)

A/N: as much as i wish to have protective got7 around, this is a very serious issue that happens way more often than it should. please, if you ever experience these situations, handle them cautiously. ask for help. carry mace, alarms, lock your car doors, stay around other people. someone will help you.

got7 m.list | navi.

Mark:

Rushing home in a panic, you didn't even have time to text Mark about what you experienced. Attempting to get some groceries for the weekend had turned into a full stakeout session, hiding in every corner you could before you finally escaped the building and made it to your car safely.

Two men had trailed you throughout most of the store, pretending to search for things when employees would walk by to look less suspicious. It was hard enough to keep yourself together, and their quick pace made it to where you couldn't even think straight.

Mark noticed how red your cheeks were when you made it through the front door, a sign of discomfort making him immediately move towards you and ask what was wrong. Explaining what happened, his teeth clenched. Turning around, his keys slid off the table into his hand, grabbing your wrist. You asked him where you were going, eyes watery as you blinked rapidly.

"To get some groceries, and hopefully we run into them again so I can take pictures and we can file a report."

Jaebeom:

You were meant to be leaving to go Christmas shopping over an hour ago. Sat in your car in the parking lot of your apartment complex, the key wasn't even in the ignition, but your hands were on the wheel. Shaking at the idea of running into the same, creepy men that had followed you around the mall last time you went shopping alone, you couldn't bring yourself to even drive.

Hand running over your temple, a knock on the window caused you to jump, Jaebeom's concerned look making you frown. Placing the key in and turning it, you pressed the button for your window to glide down.

"Hey, I thought you left already, what's going on?" he asked, arms crossing on the sill of the window as he bent to look at your face.

Slowly explaining the situation to him, you watched Jaebeom's expression shift, bottom lip sucking in between his teeth before he nodded. Moving to open the door, he gestured for you to get out. Sliding down onto the pavement, his arms wrapped around you, placing a kiss on your temple.

"Get in the passenger's seat, I'll drive. I won't let anyone get near you."

Jackson:

Jackson noticed the guys before you did, the consistent stares enough to make you peer over your shoulder at them. You tried to shrug them off, but Jackson was boiling in anger as they checked you out from afar.

The chair squeaked when he stood, sliding the metal seat back before he made his way towards them. From the looks of the conversation, you could tell he had lost his patience and respect, and now he was laying out flat threats to get them off your back.

The men looked embarrassed, short sentences exchanged before they stepped back and headed towards the exit. Jackson's face was red by the time he sat back down, but his eyes softened when he noticed your worried face.

"They won't bother you anymore," he said, trying to form a smile through the rage he felt.

You weren't entirely scared, having been watched before had sadly become a regular occurrence, but Jackson wasn't standing for it.

"If anyone ever looks at you like that again or tries to follow you around, please tell me." his toothless smile made you feel comforted, returning it as his hand slid over the table to hold onto yours.

Jinyoung:

Jinyoung was a skeptic, wanting to believe you but also understanding that the men might have just been looking for something that happened to be near you. Hand in hand walking through the mall after you called him from the bathroom crying, his hold was tight as his gaze fell on the two men you described.

"That's them?" he asked, head gesturing towards the guys standing close to the women's clothing shop. With a short nod, his grip loosened on your hand, looking around before his eyes found a security guard.

Pulling you along, the guard noticed your dried tears, Jinyoung's angered explanation making the guard's forehead crease. Leaving both of you, you witnessed him go up to the two men, escorting them towards the stairs.

"He said they've received complaints about them for a while now, but they didn't have faces to match the descriptions. If you hadn't of called me, they would still be wandering around here stalking people." his eyes were soft, hand caressing your cheek to remove the last few tears escaping. "You did the right thing. I'm glad you're so strong."

Youngjae:

He noticed your nervousness before you even left the house, your grip on your bag tight as you stared the front door down. Scared to leave, his cocked eyebrow was in your vision when he stood before you.

"Still scared because you were followed?" he asked, tone gentle and caring as he pulled you into his chest. "Please don't be. I called the store and reported those guys and they said that it was taken care of."

You knew this, and yet the underlining fear that it would happen again was still there. With a light sigh, he kissed your forehead, releasing you to grab his wallet and keys.

"Why don't I go with you, that way you won't be so nervous, okay?"

You felt worse that he had to tag along, but when you arrived at the store immediately breathing in fresh coffee, Youngjae was practically pulling you along to buy some stuff, the smile on his face calming you.

BamBam:

He was beyond pissed when he returned to you in the store only to find you hiding in the dressing rooms because you were followed. BamBam had made direct eye contact with the guy, and yet he didn't think twice that anything was wrong.

Pulling you from the chair, his arms wrapped around you, hand caressing the back of your head as he held you to him. You explained how the guy found you when you were looking at some new shoes, and how he got way too close for comfort before you grabbed a jacket and rushed back into the small room to get away.

Lifting the jacket from the handle on the wall, he shrugged, laying it over his arm as he led you out towards the check out counter. Instead of walking up to the cashier, he made a b-line for the man, piercing eyes drilling imaginary holes into him as he spat swears at him. Ending the situation, the man sent you an apology before leaving, the cashier already on the phone calling in a complaint about the creepy guy.

"See," he smiled at you, pulling you under his arm. "I've got it handled."

Yugyeom:

You were walking weird when you caught up to Yugyeom in the store, his arm immediately wrapping over your shoulders.

"What's wrong?" he asked, a pout on his lips as he looked at you from the side, walking you into a video game aisle to ease the tension in your neck.

You told him about the creepy guy at the bathrooms that saw you go in and waited for you to come out. They only vanished when Yugyeom put his arm around you, and now you were on high alert.

Yugyeom didn't falter, walking you over to the counter to ask the cashier if he could call for security. It was a matter of minutes before the suited man was escorted away, Yugyeom giving him a dirty look as his hold tightened around you.

"Never be afraid to speak up about someone scaring you or following you around," he said gently, guiding you with his hand on your lower back as you looked over the newly released games. "I'd never let anyone hurt you."

#got7 #got7 reactions #got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #mark tuan #im jaebeom #im jaebum #jackson wang #park jinyoung #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #this subject is very worrisome so please just look after yourselves #triggers #got7.headcanon

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Things That Were (Branjie) - pureCAMP

A/N - … Hi.

I won’t get into it, I don’t think I need to. But here’s a return no one expected, at least.

I wrote this based on some Feelings I have and also Jinkx’s song The Auld Lang Syne Song from… Christmas Queens 3? It has this beautiful sad, wistful, nostalgic kind of feel and it made me nostalgic for love and that strange time between Christmas and New Years. Largely sad, mostly bittersweet. Dedicated to my love Ortega, and in part for the nostalgia fic challenge.

I appreciate any and all support I’ve been given over these past months.

You have a new memory from (1) years ago!

Brooke swipes across absent-mindedly. She doesn’t think much about it, they pop up all the time in the holiday season. There’s a little loading screen, decorated with animated tinsel, that flashes in her face before every ounce of breath is knocked out of her body.

This is what dying feels like. Brooke wonders if there’s a loading screen before entrance into the afterlife. She supposes it would allow the dead some time to adjust, at least.

It’s a perfect, filtered picture. The Christmas tree looks beautiful, even as the pine dies, all decked in shades of red and gold, glittering twists and lights that twinkle gently enough to lull you to sleep. It stands tall in the background of the photo, illuminating everything with a cosy glow. At the forefront of the image, Brooke is that kind of happy, sleepy, warm drunk. Full of Baileys, probably, and little mini mince pies and leftover chocolate from boxes opened and half-finished. There’s a glass of red wine behind her, slightly visible on the table. She’s cradling Henry to her chest, kissing the top of his head.

Vanessa is next to her. The remnants of plum lipstick still on her lips, grinning, Apollo in her arms. She’s beautiful. She looks and feels like how Christmas is supposed to - welcoming, kind, gentle, sweet. And Brooke knows that she’s drunk too, and right after this she burst into laughter and her foghorn voice shattered the cosiness and it was so right and so them. And she knows how her stomach had twisted horribly after they took it.

It’s perfect. She won’t share this one. It will stay in her archives. It’s really been a year, huh.

The cats look at her accusingly, as if they know. They probably do know. They know everything about Brooke. Every flaw, every fault. If they could speak, she knows they’d ask for Vanessa instead of her. Well, tough. Vanessa’s gone, Brooke thinks, almost aggressively as if she’s trying to telepathically tell them so. Vanessa’s been gone for a year.

Or has she? Vanessa isn’t the one who left. Vanessa isn’t the one who walked out without warning, who pretended the bliss was as blissful as it looked and then ran from it all. No, no, that was Brooke.

She shuts off her phone, clicks the button to make the picture fade to black. The switch from warm and bright to black is jarring. It’s probably how Vanessa felt, waking up to an empty bed.

“Brookieeeeee,” Vanessa sings. She’s grinning, cheesing so hard that her eyes have disappeared, nothing but the flicker of a fake eyelash visible from them. “Brooklyn Briiiiiidge…”

Brooke turns, laughing, and waves away the whistles and teasing mumbles from their friends. “Vanjie?”

She pushes her lips together and makes kissy noises, wordlessly begging. Brooke gently holds her chin, lifts her head, kisses. She tastes like cinnamon and nutmeg and chocolate, a festive concoction of things that Brooke usually hates but loves on her. Vanessa looks amazing in gold and she’s an Oscar from head to toe, sparkling, beautiful.

Akeria makes pointed eye contact with Brooke, then mimes gagging herself with two fingers.

Vanessa rolls her eyes, the fondness on her face so evident that it could light up the entire bar. “I love you.”

And Brooke kisses her. The kiss says what it needs to.

Christmas a whole year ago. Brooke made a series of decisions. Stupid ones, maybe. Definitely. She doesn’t know who she’s kidding.

Funny how she finds it so hard to kid herself. Apparently, she had no issue kidding Vanessa.

A little while after Silky comments that Brooke really shouldn’t still be living in the shithole apartment she rented at 20, she realises that as rude and bluntly honest it had seemed at the time, she’s right. She resolves not to mention this to Silky, in case her ego inflates too far and she flies away like Aunt Marge (she thinks this with love), and starts looking online. And it’s impossible.

So out comes the phone, because there’s only one person to go to for this. For anything. Because she’s always there and she’s always willing and she only ever wants some quality time as payment.

B: Vanjie [8.22pm]

B: Vanjerella….. [8.22pm]

B: Vanessaaaaaa [8.23pm]

V: brooke lynn hytes [8.24pm]

B: Not the full name… am I in trouble? [8.24pm]

V: do u wanna be? ;) [8.24pm]

B: Hmm… I’ll think about it… [8.24pm]

B: Anyway I need your heeeeeelp [8.24pm]

V: i gotchu boo [8.25pm]

V: what u need baby [8.25pm]

B: Cutie [8.25pm]

B: I’m going apartment hunting, help me look? Idk what to even look for [8.25pm]

V: exciting!!!!!! [8.26pm]

V: babyyyyy this is so exciting for u omg!!! I love moving [8.26pm]

V: i hope i can help!! im usually terrible at this but i think we’ll have fun!! [8.26pm]

V: although i gotta wonder what made u ask me instead of somebody smart like nina [8.27pm]

B: Ah shit, great point nvm I’ll ask her [8.28pm]

B: Jk. Asked u because ur always here visiting, may as well find something u like as well <3 [8.28pm]

V: u bout to make a bitch cry [8.29pm]

Vanessa was over in maybe ten minutes tops, Brooke remembers. It was like she could read Brooke’s mind, and she’d brought coffee for them both to keep them going and even a little bag of kitty treats from the place she’d stopped at (“a guy was sellin’ them outside and I felt a little sorry for him in the cold so I bought ‘em. They’re good, the ones you usually get!”). They were up for hours scrolling, and then searching in person just so that she could act as a second opinion.

Brooke stands up from the couch and walks slowly, heavily, towards the window. Her Christmas tree is silver this year, silver and purple, and as pretty and icy as it had seemed when she decorated it, it feels cold and desolate now. It reflects on the glass and for a moment it’s hard to focus on the world outside when the world inside is so disturbed, but she manages. Dark as it is, the lights of the city are never gone, and she has a beautiful view of a metropolitan paradise laid out beneath her.

Vanessa loved the view. She picked it, in a way. Brooke was unsure about the viewing, and Vanessa wheedled, tugging her arm and telling her she’d love it.

She did love the view. But it was Vanessa’s view, that she saw first, that she loved first. Now it just makes Brooke feel sick. Sick at herself. Like it’s not hers to look at, and she shouldn’t.

She looks away.

A change of scenery helps to calm the mind, Brooke thinks. Nina told her that once, she vaguely recalls, as she sobbed helplessly into the arms of the only one who would listen. The only one who didn’t think of her as a raging evil bitch, and more of a hopeless coward instead. It’s not much better, but it’s a small comfort given how much she hates herself for it. She’s more inclined to go with what the rest of them all thought after it happened.

It’s late, anyway. Maybe it really is time to read a book and push down the thoughts and try to sleep away the regret.

“Oh god, oh god. Vane- fuck,” She breathes.

Waves of pleasure shoot through her, beginning deep in her belly and sending shockwaves all up Brooke’s back. Her hands grasp at the sheets around her head, desperate, clinging, her mind and body totally incognizant of each other. Her body is on fire, and her mind isn’t even functioning correctly.

Vanessa’s mouth is hot and fast and her tongue is skilled, and every time she grazes over her clit with the swift, feather-light touches Brooke thinks she’s going to pass out. Her fists grab tighter and her toes curl and a gasp floats from her lips, accidental, unstoppable. She manages to tear one hand away and threads it into Vanessa’s dark hair, urging her to keep going.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, fuck…” She manages.

The goddess between her legs doesn’t stop, not until long after the inaudible mumblings have stopped falling from Brooke’s lips and her breaths are finally starting to slow, and she wonders how Heaven is meant to be above them when she feels herself sinking into it right now. Brooke thinks absent that maybe Heaven is here and everything else is Hell because nothing feels like being with Vanessa feels, and when they’re naked and intertwined and breathless and warm maybe they’re closer to God than they’ll ever be.

She catches herself before three words make their way out.

“God, this fucking mattress…” Is what she ends up producing. It’s digging into her back, lumpy and old. She’s only just noticed, in truth.

Vanessa’s head lifts, her makeup smudged in a way that feels beyond sinful to look at. She licks her lips coyly, sucks off her finger, and offers a lazy, heady sort of smile.

“The mattress? That’s all you got, boo?”

She’s laughing, happy, delirious. Brooke laughs too. “I don’t have to say anything about you. Isn’t the state of me enough?”

It is. On her back, chest peppered with bruises not yet formed, chest rising and falling beyond her control, legs still twitching slightly. Brooke’s completely spent, blissed out, exhausted. Vanessa’s still worn out from hers and yet her tongue is musical and the melodies were handcrafted by all the muses of the ancient world.

Still smiling, Vanessa shifts so she’s hovering on top of Brooke and then leans down to kiss her, their bodies colliding, Brooke tasting herself on the lips of her lover. It’s nights like these that make her feel like the world is a good place to be. That everything is fixable, everything is brilliant.

“We should get you a new mattress, baby,” Vanessa tells her when they break apart. “And I’ll probably never leave.”

Brooke forces a laugh, but the idea isn’t laughable. Vanessa and Forever go hand in hand, somehow.

And they do go shopping for a mattress for Brooke’s place. They wander through stores and discuss mattress firmness and size and height and flop down until they feel as though they’re ready to drop, and then Vanessa lands on one and yells “BROOKIE!” so loud that her voice - that goddamn voice - almost shatters the glass. She’s laying down with a beam on her face like nothing Brooke’s ever seen, pure sunshine, and she clearly has the best taste in mattresses because when she buys it, Brooke’s never slept so good in her life.

The bed is cold. Brooke deserves a cold bed. She left Vanessa in one, so it’s the least she can deal with it.

They weren’t always at Brooke’s - sometimes it was Vanessa’s too, for the sake of variety. Looking back on those memories makes Brooke feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Which she is, of course, and she knows it. But even here, the mini Christmas tree is cold and isolated, and Vanessa gave it to her as an early gift last Christmas, and Vanessa chose the mattress, and Vanessa picked the view. Brooke stares at everything that Vanessa has touched in her life and wonders why in the world she let herself ruin something so good. It’s selfish and stupid and self-sabotaging and that angel of a woman deserves so much more.

She thinks about sharing the picture. She could caption it with that song, ‘Now I’m in the house you chose and the bed you bought to face your perfect view’, and that could be her apology. Because she knows all too well she’s too much of a blind coward to say it properly. And Vanessa won’t see it even if she does share, because they’re not friends anymore. Someone will get it to her - probably Silky - but that’s not worth it.

Brooke opens her phone again, and swipes away from the picture before she does something stupid. Then she opens her texts.

B: Are you busy? [10.11pm]

B: Oh shit sorry, just saw Yvie’s insta, u guys are out tonight. Ignore this x [10.13pm]

N: No no! They’re out, I’m home because I was working all day and I was too tired :( [10.19pm]

N: What do you need hun? <3 [10.20pm]

B: If ur tired it’s okay, I’ll talk to u another time x [10.20pm]

N: Shut up. I’m here [10.21pm]

N: I think I know what’s going on. Right time of year [10.21pm]

B: I’m just an idiot, idk [10.22pm]

N: Nope. Stay where you are, I’m coming over. [10.22pm]

N: Did she text you? [10.24pm]

B: She’s not that stupid lmao why would she [10.24pm]

Nina is the only one who bothered to ask what the hell was going on when it happened. It’s not like Brooke can blame the others, and she doesn’t either. If someone did that to her best friends, she would be the same. And she is the same - she hates herself passionately for it. But Nina has this untraceable kindness to her, this unfathomable tenderness that seems to have no beginnings, no ends, no limits. It flows so freely from her, like a gift.

She has no idea how much time passes by crying and looking blankly at her phone, or even any idea when she started crying, but the doorbell rings and Brooke answers it already in tears and Nina sweeps her into a hug like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and maybe it is. To love your friends is easy and natural, like taking a breath in clean air.

To love someone special is like inhaling in water, drowning, getting lost. And you have to be content with the helplessness in order to survive it, or at least strong enough to swim and keep it going. You can’t just sink. Brooke couldn’t handle drowning.

“I’m a fucking idiot,” She weeps into Nina’s arms, once her choking sobs settle into streaming tears. It’s not better, just different. “I wanted to be with her forever and that was so fucking scary.”

Nina rubs her back. “Breathe, breathe. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Is- is she okay?”

Stupid question. Brooke isn’t sure she even wants to know.

The hug finishes; they’re on the couch again. Nina pulls out her phone, frowning, and pauses like she’s thinking. She looks guilty, which is unusual.

“I would never normally show a friend’s text, y’know? It’s private, I don’t do all that betraying trust stuff. But I know she’ll delete these tomorrow morning and I think you should see them before she does.”

V: so its been a ear then hasnr it [10.56pm]

V: a year of fwithout brook [10.56pm]

V: honestly fuck her yknw what i man [10.56pm]

V: she fuckin broke mt heart man why did she do that [10.56pm]

V: i miss her an the stupid vats so muhc [10.57pm]

V: tha sonf auld lang syne plaed earlier in the bar bef4 eht club [10.57pm]

V: very apropaotye hahahahksjkdh [10.57pm]

V: may rhe acwanriance be forgot forever and fuckung ever [10.57pm]

V: is okay i can lobe w the bitternness [10.57pm]

V: i just kisd girls unt il it dont hurt [10.57pm]

Brooke sobs. Again, loud, shaking, broken. Because Vanessa is hurting so much even a year after it happened and everything feels so raw and it’s entirely her own fault for crushing the dream they were building.

“I miss her so fucking much, I don’t know why- I don’t know why I walked out,” She babbles, helpless and hopeless and hurt. “I’m fucking lying, Nina, I know why, I know why I did it. Why did I fucking-”

She knows all too well. Because Vanessa helped her pick an apartment and Vanessa picked her bed and Vanessa loved her cats. Because Brooke could imagine them getting married and growing old and it had barely been four months by the time Christmas and New Years were rolling around and everything seemed so serious and so intense, and that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun but it was scary in the same breath because speed was terrifying.

Brooke is bitter, but only at herself.

New Years Day. January 1st, a brand new year, a bright new start. The frost glistens freshly on the undisturbed morning, and all across the city, singles and couples sleep through the dawn, hungover or still passed out drunk, party hats akimbo, party blowers still suspended in smudged lipsticky mouths.

It’s early, enough that the daylight is blinding but pale and faded. Vanessa’s bedroom has the huge window that she never covers, and she sleeps through it like the dead. Brooke wakes up and looks around.

She looks at everything but Vanessa, but eventually her gentle snuffling is too much to ignore and she looks down at her beautiful sleeping form. She’s a disaster, hair everywhere and glitter still all over her face, and she’s the most breathtaking woman in the entire wide world. Something heavy and all encompassing sweeps into Brooke’s chest, and she can identify it by name. It’s only four letters, but it strikes a fear in her like an old god from a lost world. She needs to vomit. She needs to run. She needs an escape.

Before she even knows who she is again, any of the things that ended up staying half their time at Vanessa’s are stuffed into a couple of carrier bags and she’s in her dress from the party and out of the door into the cold winter air, panicked, unable to breathe.

It’s a heart attack, she thinks. Or a panic attack. It’s an attack that feels like it’s going to kill her, and she runs away, and she runs all the way home and barricades the door shut, dropping her belongings on the floor, numb and confused and cold. It’s the start of the new year and she begins it alone, hyperventilating.

Within a couple of days the worried texts subside and the angry vengeful ones start flooding in, and just like that Brooke’s lost the best thing that ever happened to her and all of her friends along with it. Because she got up on new year’s day and abandoned Vanessa fast asleep and that was the end.

It’s ugly and chilling, how much she cries into Nina’s gentleness. The only thing that stops her is, ironically, the thing that makes her feel worse, the characteristic ‘ping!’ of Nina’s phone, undoubtedly more drunk texts.

V: i hoper he fucjibg bubble bursts this tie of year [11.23pm]

V: every jhanduary first for the rest of hersitnkin life [11.23pm]

“I deserve it,” Brooke whispers hoarsely, “But she doesn’t. She never did.”

“Neither of you do,” Nina tells her sadly. “They don’t all hate you, they hate what you did the way friends always do when breakups happen. You both deserve to be happy. And both of you have been dreading New Year’s for this exact reason.”

It hurts to hear, and Brooke wishes she doesn’t have to listen, but her friend is so goddamn wise it feels stupid not to.

“Two days until it’s officially New Year.” Nina kisses her hand. “Can you keep living like this, Brooke?”

It’s not like she even has to say it for Brooke to understand. “She hates me.”

Nina shakes her head. “No she doesn’t. She loves you.”

“That’s worse.”

“You love her.”

“I know.”

“You got scared.”

“I still am.”

“Face your fears.” Nina holds her at arm’s length, forcing her to look right into her face. “This hurts more than what blundering through it would, surely? Fire doesn’t always mean you get burned, sweetie. Sometimes it just warms you.”

She makes no fucking sense.

“I can’t play with Vanessa like that again.” Brooke swears. “I can’t.

The transitional period between Christmas and New Year doesn’t feel like real time. It’s just liminal space, a waiting room of chronology, a suspension in space. If she’s honest, trying now causes no harm, because it’s like it didn’t even happen. Maybe she should, maybe she will.

Eventually Nina leaves, pressing a kiss to her forehead and promising that somehow everything is going to be okay. She’s like a fairy godmother, Brooke thinks to herself. Always knowing, always positive, and total magic to behold.

She’s awake all night long just staring at the time on the top of her phone, lying in bed sideways and wondering if she’ll do it. It has to be right. It can’t be when she’ll still be awake and drunk and angry. But it can’t be on the anniversary of her biggest fuck up, because that just feels like some kind of sick joke and that’s not what she wants.

The entire night passes. At six am, her finger hovers over the send button for a full three minutes. She counts the seconds.

B: I fucked up. If u’ll have me, I’ll never mess u around again. I didn’t know I could love someone so much and then u came along and everything sped up and I wasn’t fast enough. I shouldn’t have thrown away what we had when it was as close to perfect as anything can get. This message is all me me me I I I but if ur okay with it, I think new year should begin right this time. I’ll hold u and I won’t let go, and u don’t even have to hold me as long as ur here. Everything is up to u. I’ll learn to live with what I did if u say no. Because I totally get why u should hate me. I hate me too, kinda. U did nothing wrong. U were and will always be perfect. [6.03am]

B: Full disclosure is I was scared of how much and how quick I loved u. But it didn’t go away even when I hurt u. I was stupid to do that, and I don’t wanna do another year in the shadow of that massive mistake. [6.05am]

B: I won’t say it here, because thats cheap for u. But I’ll say it when I see u again. I promise, and I want to [6.13am]

She falls asleep with her phone in her hand after being awake all night long.

She wakes up four hours later.

V: ur dumb [9.51am]

V: theres a party at yvies for new years yknow [9.52am]

V: im not saying ill kiss u at midnight but [9.52am]

V: fuck around and find out [9.52am]

(tags: purecamp, branjie, brooke lynn hytes, vanessa vanjie mateo, lesbian au, things that were, fic challenge, nostalgia challenge, nina west)

#rpdr fanfiction #purecamp #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #lesbian au #things that were #fic challenge #nostalgia challenge #nina west #s11 #(you will always have a place here! -v)

36 notes · View notes

indimlights · 4 years

Text

✨Merry christmas Cille✨

To: @birthdaysentiment 💛

-> From: @indimlights (Rodrigo)

Hi Cille! I guess it's up to me to kick off this "little" surprise but I don't even know where to start...

I remember really well the first time I saw a post of yours, I was still lurking back then and the moment I read it I felt so many things, things I don't know how to describe and that I never thought words could make me feel and I knew, I just knew that I had to see more. Fast-forward a couple of hours I knew your blog by heart, I had looked at so many of your posts and every single one was as amazing as the first one, as touching as the first one and as deep as the first one.

The meaning you put on words still gets to me every single day, you have such a way into them and don't even get me started on your music analysis. The moment I read the first one I was mind-blown! The things you catch, the connections you make between the music and the scene, the way you describe the scenes, it makes me go back, relive the moment and feel everything I felt the first time I watched it and all this just by... reading your words! If that doesn't tell me how amazing you are with them I don't know what will.

From that day I always wished I could talk to you, get to know the person behind the words, behind the masterpieces, behind the blog because you seemed like such a sweet person and now... After some time, I got that chance and I'm so happy I got it. You are everything I thought you would be and 1000x more, you are sweet, caring, smart, loving, wise, joyful and so supportive to me and to everyone in this community! You always spread love and that's so important and so nice of you to do, the way you write essays in the tags for everyone's posts just shows that! It's such a simple thing but means so much.

And I'm not even mentioning how talented you are with non-written posts because those are on another level aswell, I mean you always surprise me with your ideas and creativity and just knowing that whenever I come here I will have some sort of attack waiting for me just keeps me going and I love everything you do so much.

I'll never be able to thank you enough for being so welcoming when I barely knew anyone and for making me feel so much more comfortable here! Getting to know you better and to share this experience with someone like you has been a blessing and I wouldn't change any second of it, thank you for everything you have done and for always being so sweet to me. I don't understand what I did to deserve all that but that just shows again how wonderful you are.

I'm wishing you a merry christmas! Surrounded by everyone you love and that makes you happy because you deserve that and so much more, please never change, never stop being like this, a special and wonderful person. I hope you enjoy this surprise :) Have a wonderful day Cille 💛

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-> From: @remy3010 (Remy)

Hihi Cille❤ I love your blog so much especially music analysis! I just fall in love with your music analysis since your first posts.

For me whose mother tongue is not English, it takes a while to read but I'd love to. Because these articles deserve more people to see (including me)！

I have read every article of yours, the content touches me all the time. (Sometimes I have a lot of words want to tell you, But I don’t know how to speak in English..sorry🥺so I give❤ and reblog)

Anyway, thank you for writing beautiful words and sharing with us! I hope you can keep this passion forever, and everything go well. May you have wonderful days my friend ❤

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-> From: @franboos (Francine)

hi bb cille,

wanted to tell u that i love u blog and the time u put into analyzing stuff is shhshdhdhdhd. queen shit. u seen so genuine to talk to idk, i get those nice, non judgmental, relaxed and cool vibes from u. lmao. pls stay on tumblr for as long as u can cuz i love ur posts. u notice such little things in clips from wtfock, like u have a very detailed eye miss hehe. i really want to get to know u more cuz i really think we could vibe v well together, and that’s on perioood 😌. i hope u have a great great day while reading this queen. never stop what you’re doing cuz ur great at it. i love you !!

many kusjes and knuffels*,

fran

(*knuffels means hugs but also stuffed animal in dutch, did u know that? otherwise now u do, nice isn’t it)

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-> From: @dagcutie (Pauline)

hey hey cille!!

I must admit i’m very much a fan of you and your blog

first of all, your posts? chefs kiss!! i mean your music analysis are amazing and so on point, your photo edits are always perfect and the colorings are so beautiful, your long text posts 'drabble/headcanon style' are so cute and always makes me so soft and emotional...

your love for black and white? that’s a big yes!! anyways everything you do is perfect!!

also can we take a moment to appreciate your person? i think we can and we must do it..

you’re always so supportive and kind, all the nice tags you let under peoples creations are so sweet!! I also could cry about how cute you are always leaving lovely messages to people inbox or coming randomly to them to say something nice.. you’re the most beautiful soul and a blessing for this fandom!! please never stop being you!! ily a lot, sending you all my love and i wish you an amazing day<3

knus og kys til dig💛✨

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-> From: @allee-sander (Tanya)

Cille, you are an amazing person. you are so kind and loving. every time i see you on my dash, my face lights up. you are a literal angel. you are loved and appreciated, never forget that.

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-> From: @tsjernobyl (Emma)

Cille, you are a genuinely kind and loving soul who's just on this site to talk about the things you love and spread a little joy and everyone can tell that the moment they go onto your blog. i've seen you be nothing but lovely to everyone you interact with and it's a real honor to be mutuals with you and interact from time to time. You are always one of the sweetest and most supportive people here, and i hope you feel that love flowing back to you at all times because you always have my warmest wishes and love!!!!!

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-> From: @dreamaur (Ann)

How does it feel to be so cool and sweet and supportive??? I love you and your mind and how you see so many details and capture them so well with words,,,queen keep going with your top tier analysis and text posts that make me emotional everything single time

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-> From: @annonymannonym (Alice)

Where do I even begin ummm ... well words may not be enough to describe such angelic human being that Cille is but today is about her *about you Cille* !♡! Honestly I’m so so happy and honoured and so grateful to have meet and know you and come along your blog and your amazing posts and edits , let’s s not forget about the masterpiece that your analysis is cuz I live for every single one of them ! Always so on point and touchy and so so emotionally, they give you a whole new perspective and point of view and helps you connect with the person that goes throught those feelings , helping you understand so much deeper the feelings and the emotions he experience in that right moment( so thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking your time and writing these it really shows how much passion and love you put on making these! they absolute helped me to understand and feel much more the meaning behind all these little moments you captured so so well and wonderful ! ) You’re always such a blessing here so lovely friendly so goodhearted and sooo on ... < insert here all the good compliments in the world > cuz they all applies to you ! Know that you’re so special and such a light a sunshine wherever you are and go , you always spread so much positivity and good energy and love and compassion and you support every single people your way comes along with and you shown so much respect and love and understanding ! Always with a wise and thoughtful mind and with the right words at you using them with so much care and mining fullness ! And your blog i love love love it the b&w aesthetic and your love for it owns my heart !! I adore your posts so much ( or ramblings or thoughts as you may call them but know they are so so much more than that its a way of yours to express yourself and open up and pour every feeling you experience and many people found themselves and feel with you , I find myself in them and resonate with them every time ! ahh and your tags that you write in every post are sooo sweet and cute i could read them all day long just coming on your blog and read them makes my day so much better ) they are such a good way to brighten your day and they put a smile on my face whenever i see you on my dash truly a blessing to have you here! Never forget how unique and special human being you are and every one who has you in their lives are very blessed to have you ! Never change being this beautiful inside and out but most importantly inside ! literally a tresure your soul is and must be protected at all cost so take very good care of it ! Don’t forget to always do what makes you happy and gives joy and peace and just you know that good feeling you have in your chest and heart whenever you do something you love and like with passion and joy. I could say so much more but maybe I’ll repeat myself cuz there are never enough compliments to say about how wonderful person you are! you deserve every single one of them ! I really meant every word i said from the bottom of my heart and know that i really apreciate and love all you do and I’ll be here to support you anytime! You deserve the absolute world and more!! love you Cille! ♡ Okey bye✿

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-> From: @robbesdriesen (Bianca)

Cille ~ such a lovely presence to see on my dash always!! Your support towards everyone in the fandom is more than appreciated and so is your love that you continuously aim to spread <3

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-> From: @happilyinsane (Dharaa)

Hey Cille 💕

Just wanted to say that I think you are really sweet and lovely. I see you everywhere on the tumblr. Wanna thank you for keeping this fandom alive during the drought and keep us entertained. I see your tags on people's posts and I always feel like you are so kind and sweet to spend your time appreciating people's work. Doesn't matter if its a photo or an edit or whatever. You are so nice to pay attention to everyone individually. You are such a good friend/mutual, always appreciating and sliding into their asks and just making their day a lil bit better. You definitely bring so many smiles on our faces. I am sure everyone is very thankful to have you in this fandom, I know I am.

I know we haven't interacted that much but thank you for sliding into my asks and giving me an opportunity to interact with you. You are the sweetest, baby. And I hope you like this whole thing that Rodrigo is doing, because you definitely deserve it. Keep lighting up our dashes with your posts, pls. Ilysm 💕

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-> From: @alwaysaneverland (Sarah)

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-> From: @theflowerisblue (Lola)

Cille! You’re such a present part of the tag! You’re always interacting and posting and I love reading what you have to say. Your music analysis are so interesting and I also think you’re really funny! I love your black and white aesthetic and most of all I love how supportive and positive you’re towards everyone!

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-> From: @fvae (Fae)

hi cille!! I'm really glad to have met you through this fandom and I hope you like the surprise!! I loved to read your song analysis because they're always on point and well thought of👌 💯 and your edits!! *chef's kiss*

sending you lots of love and hugs 💕💖💫

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-> From: @embeddedinmybrain (Tasfia)

Hi Cille! You are just a ray of sunshine!! And you are the sweetest and kindest person here. I loved following through with your wtfock music analysis posts bc everything you felt is exactly what I felt. They made me really emotional!! And of course I (and Sarah and Fae) appreciate your tags for moyo season so much. We wait for them and we read them to each other and we just love seeing your reactions to it. Your edits are incredibly amazing too and I love the colouring in them. You are just an amazing sweetheart and I’m so glad to know you 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

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-> From: @veerledejaegers (Soph)

Cille, you are very friendly and sweet, always insightful and seem like an incredibly lovely person that i hope i can get to know better ❤️(also love the black and white aesthetic)

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-> From: @sanderxrobbee (Semri)

Cilleeeeeeeeeeee loml!!!! Merry Christmas to you! I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you get to spend all the holidays in the best way possible! You’re such a blessing to this fandom because you’re talented in every single way, whether it’s your writing or your godly Photoshop skills, oh and let’s not forget your dedication because you’re there all the time to brighten our days and make us smile. I haven’t known you for long, but I truly love and appreciate all you do and I’m grateful that you always take the time to compliment everything and everyone. You have no idea how much it makes me smile when you say my gifs are good because I’ve yet to learn a lot, but you are seriously one of the biggest reasons I haven’t given up the second something got too complicated. Where am I going with this? No idea. Anyway, I adore the fuck out of you and I’m happy to take part in this “project” because you really deserve all the love in the world. Once again, happy holidays!

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-> From: @hopelessromanticvirgo (Elene)

Talking about you Cille is making me always so emotional but I will try my best not to burst out from love and emotions. You’re one of the sweetest person here and I will never get tired of saying that.

We haven’t talked that much directly but I don’t need that to know you’re one of the greatest person here, I just know that for sure. I’m also sure about it because I can see the way you treat people? Even speaking about your tags? Like you take the time out of your day to make sure everybody gets love and everybody gets attention. You make all of us smile and I adore your tags on my stories. You can’t even imagine how many times I have reread your posts about it, like I crave it, I’m in love with it, it makes me feel so happy and so loved and I’m certain that everybody else feels the same way too. You always know how to make everybody’s day better and how to make them feel special.

And please, don’t even get me started on your posts! Your song analysis. Like I know I’ve told you this thousands of times before but I don’t care, I’m saying it again! The way you pictured and described all those songs and scenes!!! Like wow! I’d always reread your posts about that one specific scene after rewatching the season countless of times. (And you also did so many scenes!! I’m in awe and I’m emo from just thinking about it)

Watching clips were different but reading them with lyrics were a whole other thing. I just felt so connected with the whole story and scenes when I’d ready your posts. And connect scenes with the music and it was the best thing ever. Sometimes I still go back and reread some of my favorite posts of yours. I never get tired of it.

And you’re so kind and so sweet that I could write essays about it! Such a blessing to this world! I just love you a lot okay? Everybody needs somebody like you, somebody who shines from kindness and love and people around you must be so lucky who get to meet you everyday and talk to you!

Thank you so much for everything you do, for being you and for making my day better and making me smile every time you reblog my posts or every time I just see your username on my dashboard! It’s such a small gesture but means so much!

Thank you for existing, babe! I hope you’re gonna have a wonderful day! And I’m sending you the biggest hug and my positive vibes! I hope a smile never leaves your face! And I only wish the best things up onto you! I love you! ❤️❤️❤️

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-> From: @itubainaretro (Esther)

Cille, my queen!!! Hi, sweetheart! Just dropping by to say that I hope you’re having a good day, despite the situation that the world is in, and that you’re feeling happy, loved, cherished and warm today, because you’re you and you deserve to feel all the best feelings in the world! I wish you all the happiness in the world and that all your wishes come true too, because you sure deserve it! Thank you for being this amazing, inspiring, talented and sweet person that you are and that I’ve come to know a little bit in the past few months! I know we don’t exactly talk that much, but I want you to know that I love seeing you, your beautiful edits and your extremely heart warming “moments that live in my head rent free” posts on my dash daily! They all really make my days! Thank you for sharing your posts with us and making this fandom (and the world, honestly) a better place! You’re amazing and I’m really glad I pressed the follow button the day I did when I started following you! I hope this little message makes you smile today, babe! Best wishes and lots and lots of love,

Esther (itubainaretro) ♥️

PS: don’t forget to hydrate yourself, wear a mask and stay safe haha xxxx.

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-> From: @driesendotkom (Marie)

Dear cille,

the reason i‘m writing this is to simply say thank you. thank you for being such a stable part of the fandom. every time i go into the tag i know i will see you there and it makes me smile every time. i can’t tell you how many hours i spent reading every one of your song analysis. even now a year after season 3 ended i find myself going back to them now and then to reminisce and relive those moments all over again.

i also want to say thank you for being such a kind and welcoming person. you care so much about the people you are close to. you are so easy to talk to and you make the people around you feel comfortable instantly. you brought a little bit of hygge into my life and one more time i want to say thank you 💛

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-> From: @driesenrobbe (Becca)

my dear, sweet, cille! you never fail to make me smile and im beyond happy that we became mutuals! im sure i’ve already said this a million times before but you really do have the biggest heart and i couldn’t thank you enough for all the love and support you constantly share to everybody in the wtfock fandom. plus the talent you possess... girllllll i love seeing your edits and reading your posts (honestly your mind is just wowowowow, it’s on a whole other level of incredible and i hope you know just how wonderful you are). also the way you always write entire essays in the tags of other posts... like you really do take the time to make everyone feel so welcomed and loved, and I’m sending you an infinite amount of love and appreciation in return! you really are the sweetest, most caring person who deserves all the happiness in the world, an actual ray of sunshine! i hope you know how loved and cherished you are, and that good vibes are always being sent your way. Many hugs and kusjes, ilysm!!!! <3

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-> From: @mijnlief (Eline)

Dear Cille,

This year has been a weird one, but I do know that it has also been one of the best because of meeting you. In such a short time we became so close, and I am so grateful to have met you during these weird times. We are so alike in many ways and I love that so much. Our Skype conversations are my favorite and the essays you send me about my writing and just about me being me always make me feel happy and loved. You are the kindest and most generous person ever. I hope you know how special you are. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved this year and for choosing yourself in situations where it got hard to make a choice in the first place. I know I tell you that everyday, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again right here. I hope this post makes you smile, because you deserve that so much for just being who you are. You bring happiness to all of my days and I can’t wait to hug you one day soon when everything in the world calms down again. I love you lots! 🧡 Eline

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-> From: @onzeziggy (Laurien)

My sweetest Cille, where do I even begin? I suggest we should just begin from the very beginning and I’m sorry in advance if this is going to be a long, sappy text! But now that I have the chance (shout out to Rodrigo) for saying everything I want, I’m not able to tell you how long this will take.

So Cille, I still remember very clearly the first time I saw your account appearing on my dash. It was a music analysis from one of the songs from season 3. I was so amazed by it, because I could imagine how much time it takes to make it and observe every little detail in a single clip. I immediately fell in love with the concept of it and one week later, when you posted another one, my mouth dropped to the floor. Another music analysis? From the same person? Who is she and how do I become her friend? After that second post, I immediately started following you and became your little fangirl. I don’t lie when I say I was waiting every week for a new update of your incredible music analysis nor when I say I loved every single one of them (and still do). I know I already said this a million times, but your words of telling what was going on in every clip, about the emotions present in them, and how the music blended all of it together… No one, and I mean no one could have done it any better! I will forever be grateful for those posts and I want to thank you once again for wanting to share them and your talent with us!

After the music analysis adventure, your picture edits catched my eye. I love them so so much and I also took some creation of it for making some myself. Still, I was this little fangirl, knowing your name is Cille, but also wanting to know so much more about the person behind one of my favorite blogs. And now, during this hiatus, I can say I’ve got to know you and I couldn’t be any happier about it! Starting with little comments in each other’s tags, having little chats in the comment sections to screaming about a possible drawing of Robbe from Sander on their one year anniversary. And look at us now, reblogging almost every post and writing essays in each other’s tags hahah! Honestly, it keeps me alive during these times and I’m so glad I can do this together with you! I live for your attacks! Aaaah now that I’m talking about an attack, the fact that you have a dimples post ready is making me so excited and I think about it every day! We both know what’s important in love and life and that’s Robbe’s dimples! But this right here shows once again what an amazing sweet person you are! No one on here has ever done anything like this for me before, so I can’t thank you enough for this and all the other things you did and still do for me! And the privilege I have to be able to call you my friend warms my heart <33

I’m going to end this with a little quote Robbe wrote in one of his Instagram posts. When I read it again a couple of days ago, I immediately thought of you and what we’ve been through together the last few weeks :’)) Once again, thank you so much for everything you do for me and for everyone here in this fandom and being the amazing person you are! You deserve the whole world for it!

“Sometimes it’s like we just met yesterday, but other days it seems like I already know you my whole life, I love you Cille!” <33

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I hope you enjoyed this💛 If you didn't know this community loved you yet (and I don't think that was possible), now you definetly do.

Extra: I'd like to thank once again everyone that took part it this surprise, you are all the sweetest for taking some time to write this and to help me with it! Thank you so so much✨

#Surprise!#Cille this is the least you deserve #but I'm so happy I got to do this #with the help of all this sweet people #I'm wishing you (and everyone) an amazing day!#and never forget that...#we all love you!

31 notes · View notes

angeltrapz · 3 years

Note

saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

#thank u so much I love getting asks frm u!!!!!!#mutual support hours <3 #saw #eric #adam #art #daniel #others r mentioned #listen. a family can be u yr dad n his two boyfriends n yr all traumatized but yr coping together.#it pulls u together instead of tearing u apart.#which is a concept I desperately wish we could've seen more!! it's what they all deserved damn it!!#long post #asks #gnna go thru n tag these w that so I can like. maybe make a masterpost l8r?#if any1 is interested in tht!

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abloomingperiod · 5 years

Text

junmyeon as a bf

the softest of the softies

kim junmyeon is an old-fashioned guy

and i’m not saying that in terms of being conservative or anything, ‘cuz i really hope he isn’t

i mean in the sense of love

like you know that kind of person who dreams the whole picture

he dates for a reason

unlike other members, junmyeon isn’t the type to not think about the future

being a leader makes you like that

but this gets less harsh on him when u arrive in his life

yk that whole romantic comedy movie where a guy runs into someone and it’s this beautiful woman with the biggest smile and they fall for each other and shit

well.......not exactly your case

he indeed ran into you with an iced tea in hands

except you didn’t smile at him

you basically screamed “SHIT IM SORRY ILL PAY U BACK”

he got so flustered w your reaction like

this really pretty girl just offered me some iced tea”

he was all like nonononononoooo don’t say that it’s fine don’t worry aha

you kept insisting but were late for work so you made him promise to come back to that bakery the day after bcs he WOULD be paid back no matter wHAT

he didn’t feel the need butyou were cute and he wasn’t with a thick schedule so why not right

so yeah ofc prince suho showed up

the next day he entered the place and saw you

you were so pretty watching you crinkling your nose over the hot coffee in your hands was already a payback

a cute one

cmon he’s cringey give him a chance

you bowed at each other and he realized you didn’t mention for Once between the whole minute after the accident and his arrival abt his name or profession as an idol

which for him

was nice

not a big deal, but nice

after you gave him his iced tea he was so polite you actually smiled bcs ajshskjsks cute ?

and then you started talking for a while

you introduced yourself, told him abt your dream to become a writer someday and he !!!!!

okay junmyeon easy on the hearbeats you got it

he just thought of this as such a COOL dream

writing for a living

now he was like this pretty girl... is a poet

i know

lame

but he’s adorable so who cares tbh

he talked to u abt being an idol and how was the position of the leader

you listened to every word and even though you lost a fee of them along with the honey like voice and puffy cheeks of his, you loved hearing abt it

after like 2 hours he had to go bcs schedule

but before you parted your way you had to go to the bathroom

when you went pay for your payback iced tea, you hear a waiter asking “mrs y/n? i believe that for you”

no shit there was the waiter holding a cappuccino

you got like Dude. there must’ve been a mist-

you turn the cup and there it is:

“for y/n

i loved the iced tea but since my goodbyes were a little earlier i most definitely own you a payback too. how abt sushi? xx” and the waiter hands you a note with his name and number

and that’s how you started seeing each other

jun is a quiet person so he won’t be like vocal abt developing a crush on you more and more

it would b like

you guys would hang out sometimes

and little by little he would catch himself getting the heart eyes

like you’re at a coffe shop

you would get passionate talking about some movie or song and suddenly there’s a drop of coffee on the side of your lip. you didn’t notice but he did but he thought you looked so cute popping off about ur favorite music he would just sit there like,,, 💖nvm💖

and with those little stuff he would catch himself thinking yup they’re gonna b mine

so one day he went like soooo maybe i’m catching feelings i didn’t know this was happening sorry??? so i think u should know that bcs it’s abt u... i’m fancied by u i didn’t mean it to happen

like straight up he APOLOGIZED

FOR LIKING U

you were like goshkjsjksj so cute

and decided to play w him a little

“so you don’t want to like me” “NONONOOO THATS NOT WHAT I MEA-” “jk i got it i really like you too and maybe we could kiss to see what happens”

he combusted

so yeah you’re dating that’s what happened

so caring literally sO CARING

calls you on a daily basis when he’s away to talk abt the weather the boys his breakfast how much he misses you how he saw those flowers outside and it reminded of you or how he will bring you to that country when it’s vacations

he’s such a husband material fuck me

keeps notes of things you like so he can hit the high score on important dates

talking abt dates

fancy

i mean he’s bourgeoisie ofc it’s fancy

such a lovely boyfriend i’m actually sad

jun is restaurants with low lights, candles, roses and holding your hand while talking about how he never seemed to figure out the food app to find a cool place to go to so he just asked chanyeol with a pout on his lips

“you’re such an old man” “i’m simple it’s different”

on your 1 year anniversary he took you to a boat ride on a lake witha guy playing violin and wine and cheese waiting for you

simple my ass

keeps bringing coffee and flowers for you every friday night you get together bcs it’s your “tiny vacations” as he calls it

on weekends with you the only ppl he answers is either manager or a serious question from the boys/his family

and it’s always a short “yes” or “no” or “👍🏻”

fuck it he’s with his baby leave him alone

loves cooking with you

like fuck it if it’s not that tasty he just LUUUVES doing it with you

probably because he gets to hug you a lot

like you’re in the stove and he had already placed everything in its own place so he goes behind your figure, hugs your waist and places his lips on your shoulder to give you tiny pecks and praise your cooking

“junmy this is practically burnt” “you’re the best cooker i know”

once you guys were enjoying a whole ass week together and the last time you were together for more than a day were like 6 months before

you were so all over each other he went to do the same thing and you guys ended up making out in front of a precooked pan of french fries

long story short, your toasted it and only saw that coming bcs jun went to embrace your waist and his fingers touched the hot pan

“that happened bcs of you and your teenager behavior” “YOU COULD’VE MOVED” “I WAS TRAPPED”

so guess what you did after you applied some salve om his fingers

he was staring @ u all 💖💖💖💖💖

you were like ,,,what

he just shrugged and murmured “you’re beautiful”

that’s right

you fucked

not fucked in a Fucked way

yall made love

kim junmyeon is all about luv

i remember someone posting here that he probably fucked like white people and i-

that person ruined it for me

i hate yall

i will defend him till the end of time my boi DOES NOT fuck like a white person

takes it very seriously as he sees it as an opportunity to shower u with the love u deserve

on that day you actually convinced him you should do the hard work

HELL YEAH YOU RODE THAT BITCH

jun seems like soft dom for me like just bcs he’s in charge for most of the time doesn’t mean youon get to do a thing

that time as you rode him you got very like Very excited but you saw in his eyes how desperate he was to touch you entirely so you catch his hand and kiss his fingertips slowly

he kept smiling for you saying “god you are so beautiful” “i love you so much”

but you’re a little shit and always tries and bring his rough side out

so you open your mouth and lick his two burnt finger from the knuckles to the tips

he got so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not really a vocal guy

heavy sighs and low groans are it for junmyeon

very into dirty talk

but a fancy one

“does my baby likes it when i make her beg?” “look at me, love. do you want it from where i can kiss your back or your breasts?” “you’re mine to take and no one else”

we don’t support women treated as objects but this is a sexual environment and you’ve always consented him to say things like that in bed

he’s a gentlemen fuck it

once you were so horny you straight up said “i don’t give a fuck about formality just make me cum at least three times”

he got 😳 for a sec but got your point

not a rough lover but once you get in a fight

bitch

you’re both pretty mature ppl so every rare time you fight it’s very Very serious

will kiss you until your both breathless just so you can not even catch your breath bcs he will be kissing your neck and liking your skin

slaps your butt?

absolutely

a fucking lot

“funny how you turn shut the fuck up as soon as i lay my hands on you”

makes you strip for him

has a thing for watching where your bodies connect

call him baby and he’s got a 3 secs tops soft jun

like a little grin with puffy cheeks

and he’s back with the restless pounding

bathtub aftercare is a must

massages your feet as you talk sweet nothings for him

if you’re feeling feisty might get a romantic round two

loves doing it slowly so he can drag it to the point you get so hot and bothered you beg

“oh god- just please- jun, faster”

likes it when you rub his back after

get a shot of soft myeonie post-sex

lays in his stomach and quietly asks “can you”

you lay there also on your stomach and rubbing his back drawing circles and talking about life

once he got so full of idk emotion?? love?? idk never been there

he just poured a whole “marry me”

like dude.

“WHAT” “not today, like... in a few years maybe idk forget it”

he closed his eyes to dismiss your reaction and just felt a warm peck on his naked shoulder

“of course i’ll marry you a few years”

his eyes shot open like This woman. the loml. dead ass said yes to my hypothetical proposal”

he actually got emotional

“kajsksjsksjsk really?????????v

“yes really”

and there was a teardrop

you felt like dying

i mean I feel like dying rn

doesn’t say it but thinks abt having kids someday

and u know that bcs honestly it’s suho everybody just Knows that

his parents? ofc they know you

exo? absolutely sure they know you

“one day we’re gonna have a dinner on like christmas with my family and yours” “baby they don’t even live in korea” “i don’t care we’ll pay” “STOP”

really treasures your relationship like i’m not here to play games i’m past mid-20’s this is Serious

and because he’s so worried and serious he nevers seems to let loose

which is probably normal since he’s a leader

but it makes him so !! all the time u get worried

once he actually CRIED out of stress

and you ofc were there

you kept hugging him tightly and slowly rocking his body with yours kissing his tears away as he kept softly saying “i’m fine, don’t worry”

you didn’t stop worrying

you said “if you’re fine then i can stay here hugging my boyfriend”

he nodded and kept sobbing for a little while

his head was pounding so you literally laid him down and cuddled him in your arms, fingers between his locks and hot breath on his neck

he once said the sound of your breath calmed him

so that’s what you did

you calmed him

and that’s everything he ever wanted

someone to be there for him on tough times like he’s always there for everyone

he loves the fact you’re always so calm and ready to solve any problem that appears

he loves the calmness and ““““normal”””” atmosphere you bring to him

after all those years of hardship and responsability

you showed him he could be a leader and have more fun on a daily basis

he deadass thinks abt your marriage

like it’s barely 6am, he wakes up and sees you sleeping next to him, hair everywhere on the pillow and mouth open

his heart goes 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

his arms goes to your sleeping body

& his mind “i’m gonna marry this girl someday”

idk i feel like i could write a whole ass fanfiction of 50 chapters on suho and id still have 100 scenarios of him in mind

i honestly love him sm

such a nice boy

he deserves so much more

give lota of love to him he’s perfect

that’s it i’m done

#kim junmyeon scenario #kim junmyeon imagine #suho imagine #suho scenario #exo headcanons #you can tell hes special to this bitch #i lobe him so bad fuck it #id die for kim junmyeon guardian of exp

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jungshookz · 6 years

Note

You know what would be great???? Culinary student! Jin and a hopeless y/n who eats ramen out of coffee pots and eats cool whip straight out of the can. Also ily and I hope you know that

→ pairing: kim seokjin x reader

→ genre: what a surprise it’s bratty!y/n, culinarystudent!jin and his fancy pasta, humour, a touch of nsfw because i’m obsessed with jin’s broAd shoulders it’s almost ridiculous

→ wordcount: 3.4k

→ note: i hope i did ur request justice also i love u more :~)))

(gif isn’t mine!) ((also i was going to use a gif of him actually cooking but tumblr refusEd to accept it so i’m sorry))

listen

being completely honest

jin thinks you’re really cute

like SUPER cute

like he’s really REALLy frickin attracted to you because you’re just so??? yOU and somehow it works and it gets his gears GRINDING okay

you were the one who moved in right next door and you greeted him with a friendly smile and a ‘here, i baked cookies!’ and of course he accepted the cookie because he’s not a complete monster

but good GOD

that cookie was awful

and to be fair he’s a culinary student so it makes sense that he has high standards but even a fOOL would know that your cookies were god-awful

before you got the chance to distribute your nasty cookies out to the rest of the people on your floor jin was like hEY hEY how about you give me.,.,,. all of your cookies,.,.. because i,.,. really like them.,.,., and.,., i want to eat.,.,. all of them.,., thank u., yes,.

anyways

you’ve known each other for almost eight months?

and nothing has happened because let’s be real

you’re both wussies

and no one’s admitting anything to anyone so you’re kind of in this flirty-friendly space and you’re both FULLY aware that there’s like.,.,. a sprinkle of flirting going on.,,

but you know what

that’s beside the point

he doesn’t even know why he’s thinking about his undeniable crusH on you

because right now all jin can focus on is the fact that you’re eating ramen out of a coffee pot

let him repeat himself

you’re eating ramen

out of a

a COFFEE pot

you’re in the middle of rambling to him about your day and he’s trying to pay attention to what you’re saying but he wants to scream every time to pause to sluRP out of the coffee pot

laundry room gossip is a pretty normal thing for you two

you’re both so busy during the day

you with your classes and jin with his culinary classes

so once or twice a week you’ll both coordinate a time to come down and do your laundry together (you guys usually shove all your clothes in together because u end up saving some $$ too) and you’ll both end up sitting there for a couple hours just talking to each other while waiting for your clothes

jin raises a brow before pressing his lips together

his mother raised him not to be judgemental but COME ON

RAMEN

out of a COFEE POT??????

out of all the things he’s seen you done this has to be the absolute worst

here are a couple of examples as to what monstrosities you’ve exposed him to:

a cold pizza sandwich (two slices of cold pizza with a drizzle of ranch and crunched up cheetos as the filling)

cereal eaten out of the baG ITSELF (u poured the milk in and everything)

chicken pancakes?? aka shredded deep fried chicken and shredded cheese mixed inTO pancake batter and panfried and then topped with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkle of green onions

one time you made scrambled eggs in a mug and dat shit looked nasty

but this

this doesn’t even make sense

disrespecting what looks like a pretty high-quality coffee pot (he remembers you got it for christmas or something) by using it as a holder for $1 ramen

it’s probably going to stink up the coffee pot and every time you make coffee it’s always going to have that faint aftertaste of chicken broth

a shudder goes down his spine and he winces

you perk up when the drying machine suddenly beeps and stops rumbling “god finaLLy”

jin keeps his eyes glued on the damn coffee pot as you set it down next to your basket and go to retrieve your freshly-dried clothes

you bend down and pop open the dryer and the loud hiss makes jin look over

“jin?” he glances away quickly and looks up at the ceiling as a poor attempt to conceal the fact that he was totally just checking u out just now

“hm, what?” he clears his throat

“aren’t you going to come and get your clothes?”

“oh, right.” jin pushes himself up off the ground and grabs his basket

he props it up on his hip and starts picking out his clothes from the pile

“hey, these are cute.” jin can’t help but smirk as he twirls a burgundy thong around his finger

your cheeks flame up immediately

“cut it out, you perv” you scowl playfully and grab it from him quickly

the little voice in the back of your mind can’t help but wonder if perhaps jin would be interested in seeing you wear the thong

it comes with a matching bralette

“ya-“ jin pokes your arm and you look over at him “was that your dinner?” he points to the coffee pot and you glance over at it “didn’t you have ramen yesterday?”

“…yeah. instant ramen has been my dinner every day for the past week. why?” you hum nonchalantly and continue picking through the pile

you help jin out and toss one of his white t-shirts into his basket

jin can’t help but let his jaw drop

you’ve been eating processed garBAGe for the past weEK

how???????????

“it’s never enough for me tho so i usually eat a bag of chips too. i might have a frozen mac n’ cheese thingy in the freezer so that’s an option too.” you gasp excitedly “ooh i can crumble the chips over the mac n’ chee-“

“oh my god.” all of a sudden jin reaches over and puShes the rest of the clothes into his basket before grabbing your wrist and dragging you towards the door

“hey, we haven’t finished sorting out the-“

“we’ll do it later i just need to get some actual foOD into your system before all the MSG and sodium starts breakING down your internal organs”

as he’s dragging you up the stairs (the elevator is broken again what a surprise) you can’t help but admire how b r o a d his shoulders are

the cotton shirt he’s wearing is kinda thin and u swear u can see his back muscles flexing slightly

you can’t help but wonder what it’d feel like

running your hands all along his back

digging your nails into his shoulders as he,.,,., y’know

wrapping your legs around his tapered waist as he.,,.,.,. y’knOW

s i g h

you purposely pull back a little so jin slows down and gives u more time to ogle him

are you a pervert for doing that

you might be

“let me see what’s in your fridge so i can work my magic”

he’s never actually been in your apartment before

well

he’s never had a reaSon to

(you always wanna invite him in to watch a movie or something but u get shy and shrivel up immediately)

he has a good idea of the layout because his place is exactly the same as yours

he’s not surprised to see that your place is relatively neat and organised besides a couple scattered markers on the coffee table and a throw blanket tossed haphazardly over the couch

there’s a candle burning away in the middle of the coffee table that makes your place smell like warm vanilla

but then

he enters the war zone

the kitchen

oh my god

this is a living nightmare

this is HIS living nightmare

there’s just

he sees all the takeout boxes in the bin and the pizza box sitting on your kitchen island and the- well that must’ve been your breakfast or something because you sprinkled cinnamon toast crunch on a bagel smeared with waY too much cream cheese

“oh hey i forgot about this” a piece of jin’s soul dies and floats up to heaven when you pop the rest of your cinnamon-cream-cheese-bagel monstrosity into your mouth and chew thoughtfully

why does he like you

“ah, i probably should’ve offered you a bite… i’ll make one for you tomorrow if you want!”

whY DOES HE LIKE U

“i’m… good. i think i’m more than good.” he shudders before nudging past you heading to your fridge “lemme see what we’re working with here…”

“you know you really don’t have to make anything for me. i told you i had a frozen mac and cheese…” you’re rambling and jin is most certainly not paying attention to you mainly because he’s shocked becAUSE you have like NOTHING in your fridge

a bottle of three-cheese ranch

a couple oranges, an avocado, and one red apple

a half-eaten sandwich?? it looks like turkey and a shitload of mayo

a takeout box with…,,. three pieces of orange chicken and a piece of broccoli that you’ve taken a bite out of

a baby carton of chocolate milk and a regular sized carton of milk

and a can of cool whip

unless he makes an orange-chicken-turkey-avocado sandwich with ranch on the side accompanied with a glass of chocolate milk with a dollop of whipped cream on top there’s not a lot he can do here

is thiS how you live

“you know what, maybe you should just come over to my place!” jin closes the fridge and clasps his hands together “yeah, let’s do that.”

“what do you mean?? i have plenTy of food in my fridg- okAy” you stumble over your feet when jin grabs your wrist and drags you away from the fridge

when you enter jin’s place he pushes you down on the couch and you nearly bounce off of it “you stay here, and i’ll whip something up for us.”

as he turns to head towards his kitchen he hears a vioLent schrrr

he turns back around and your finger freezes on the nozzle on the whipped cream canister

“wha- where did you even hiDe that” jin furrows his brows and you shrug before squirting some more into your mouth

“you sure you don’t need any help??” you’re already bored and you’ve only been here for less than a minute

“i don’t want you burning down my kitchen, so i’m good.”

“but i’m boRed and i’m hunGRY” you whine and flop back against the couch

jin raises a brow before bending down and grabbing the remote

he turns the tv on and it just so happens to be playing the late-night cartoons

perfect for a petulant child like you

miraculously jin gets 20 minutes of peace and quiet until he hears you whining again about how hunGry again

that’s what happens when you eat nothing but empty calorie foods

your eyes light up with excitement when jin emerges from the kitchen

he has a rag tossed over his shoulder and a grey apron hanging around him that you assume is from his culinary school

his cheeks are kinda pink from the heat of the kitchen which is adorable

he sits down next to you and you turn to fully face him while crossing your legs

he hands you the plate

wow

“….do you go to culinary school or something?” you tease and jin snorts

the pasta’s been plated into a loose nest and there’s a pretty little basil leaf sitting on top

“chicken, bacon, and spinach spaghetti. and since you’re a whipped cream freak we can have assorted berries and whipped cream for dessert.”

“assorted berries.” you mock quietly and jin scowls playfully before handing you a fork

he doesn’t know why but he’s a little bit nervous lol

like he KNOWS he’s good at cooking but for some reason he feels like he’s presenting a dish to gordon ramsay or someone of that calibre

you twirl a bit of pasta around the fork and shove it into your mouth

and you didn’t think it was possible

but you’re pretty sure your mouth is having an orgasm

HOLy shit

fireworks are going OFF

the bacon has retained its crisp

the spinach is wilted but not toO wilted that it’s falling apart

the chicken is so soft and tender

the spaghetti is cooked *ahem* al dente

and the sauce!!!!

it’s so creamy

so flavourful

you swallow your bite and blink down at the plate of pasta

“what’s wrong?”

“this is…. almost too good.” you mutter and poke at a piece of perfectly cooked chicken before stabbing into it and popping it into your mouth

jin’s cheeks warm with pride as he watches you continue to eat

“it’s almost as good as my frozen mac n cheese meals.” you joke and jin resists the urge to smack you with his rag

it doesn’t matter if you’ve eaten 20 pounds of food for dinner because you’ll always aLWAys have room for dessert

especially if dessert involves whipped cream

it’s healthy-ish!! it’s basically dairy and don’t u need dairy for strong bones or something

and strawberries and blueberries are fruit

and fruit is healthy

so if you really think about it assorted berries and whipped cream is the ideal combo if u wanna get in shape

jin doesn’t trust you with the canister of whipped cream (because he’s 100% sure you’re just going to hog all the cream and squirt all of it into your mouth) so he’s squirting some out onto a particularly juicy looking strawberry that he knoWS you want to devour

he turns and offers it to you and your mouth opens automatically as you lean forward to take it into your mouth

“hold on now.” your brows immediately knit together when he pulls away juSt as you’re about to take a bite “admit it. my spaghetti is much better than your stupid mac n cheese meals.” there’s a glint of playfulness in his eyes as he points to his ear and waits for your response

“i dunno. i get the mac n cheese from whole foods so you know it’s good.” you tsk but keep your eyes right on the berry hovering in front of you

“huh. i guess i’ll be enjoying this seasonal japanese strawberry for myself, then.” jin pouts mockingly

“nO i WANT IT“ jin yelps when you’re suddenly clambering over and grabbing his wrist so that you can shoVe the berry right into your mouth

now

a normal person would eat the berry and then return to their seat

unsurprisingly

you are far from a normal person

you keep your hold on his wrist and suck the whipped cream off his thumb after swallowing the strawberry

god have mercy

your eyes flicker up and you see jin staring right at you with parted lips

“…something the matter?”

and within one second

the berries and your trusty canister of whipped cream have both been abandoned in favour for

well

“can’t believe it took you thiS long to make a move” you murmur against jin’s mouth and he responds by nipping at your bottom lip

“says you!” he gawks before proceeding to press kisses down your neck

and you finALLY get to feel his muscles rippLe underneath the soft cotton of his shirt as you slide your hands from his waist to his back

meanwhile jin’s hand has found its home in between your legs and your eyes flutter shut “god, jin…”

“something the matter?” he mocks before pressing a chaste kiss to your mouth “you gonna admit it now?”

“admit wha- oh, jin - admit whaT”

“that my food is better than your frozen TV dinners” you would’ve burst out laughing if it weren’t for the shocks of electricity tingling up your spine

“n-no way-“ your back arches against his chest and your mouth falls open in a silent moan

and suddenly

you let out a pathetic whine when jin’s hand pulls away from in between your legs “fine. i guess we’re done here!” he sits up but keeps your legs wrapped around his waist

god

you are just a vision aren’t you

you’re flopped back against the arm of the couch

your chest is heaving slightly

your cheeks and nice n rosy

“you are the absolute worst.”

“c’mon… say it…” he hums and slides a finger from your knee cap to your inner thigh

you know for a fact you two aren’t done here because jin’s already hooked a finger into the waistband of your shorts but you’re naturally a veRy impatient person and so-

“fine, you idiot. your food is significantly better than my frozen TV dinners. happy?”

“…i’ll take it.”

((spoiler alert: you are rewarded with not one not two but thREE mind-blowing orgasms for admitting it))

((maybe you should learn to be less stubborn))

“good morning!” jin is startled awake when you plop on top of him with your legs on either side of him “it’s 10 o’clock and i made us some food”

“christ, don’t scare me like that!” jin scolds you playfully and reaches up to pinch the side of your bare thigh

you’re wearing the shirt he had on last night and it’s starting to droop off your shoulder

“good morning indeed.” his voice is thick with sleep and his hand slides up from your thigh to grasp at your waist “whatcha got there?”

“cinnamon toast crunch bagel” you murmur with a mouthful of bagel and swipe at a lil chunk of cream cheese on the corner of your mouth “my wonderful creation that i made fresh for you”

you’re getting crumbs all over jin but he can’t seem to care because the idea of a cinnamon toast crunch bagel makes him want to throW YOU ouT THE WINDOW

he sits up slowly and wraps an arm around your waist before nuzzling into the crook of your neck “you’re lucky i like you otherwise i would throw your wonderful creation righT into the garbage bin right about now.”

you scoff in mock offence and pull away from him before jabbing a sticky finger into his bare (b r o a d) chest

“don’t knock it til you try it!!”

“the day i try one of your inventions is the day i- mmph!” you shut him up and shove the last bite of your bagel into his mouth before clasping your hand over his mouth so he can’t spit it out

jin chews slowly

and swallows

what the hell

that actually..,,. that tasted good

“that was okay, i suppose. kinda sweet. but i can think of something that might taste a little sweeter.” before you know it jin is flipPing you over and you find yourself pinned underneath him

you’re a giggling mess because you’re trying to get the cream cheese and sugar particles off your fingers but jin is being very vEry distracting

“hOLd on a second sir i have breakfast waiting for us in the living room!” jin’s already made his way down your chest and is about to set up shop in between your legs

he looks up at you before offering you a cheeky grin “…i’m in the mood for breakfast in bed, aren’t you?”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

623 notes · View notes

letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 6 years

Note

You already knew I was gonna prompt you this for Garcy: "Person A and B decorating their house/apartment together and when Person A goes to another room to grab some more ornaments they hear Person B yell. When they rush back into the room they see Person B has somehow tangled themself into the Christmas lights and fell over."

Anything for you my dear! Consider this one a follow up to this prompt that I also answered. You know the drill, click the ‘keep reading’!

“I think we’re almost finished,” Lucy said, eyeing the tree.

After a quick, ah, detour onto the couch that ended with Lucy now sporting several hickeys and Flynn sporting claw marks on his back, they had gone back to putting up the ornaments–Flynn dutifully and happily lifting her and Lucy dutifully putting up with it because she was a good girlfriend and hopelessly in love with the dork.

“There’s another box of ornaments in the kitchen,” Flynn said, grabbing the lights to hang. “Those are the last ones.”

“Great.” Lucy went into the kitchen.

Ah, that’s where he’d put the stool, the bastard. She grabbed the box of ornaments–

–and heard an almighty crash from the living room.

Oh God. Her heart leapt into her throat and she dashed back into the room. “Garcia!”

Flynn was sprawled on the floor, looking not really the worse for wear but definitely sheepish, his legs tangled up in the Christmas lights.

Lucy pressed her knuckles to her mouth, trying not to laugh. “How did–how did you do that?” she asked, her voice cracking with the effort of trying to sound serious.

“I’m not entirely sure,” Flynn admitted.

Lucy reached for her phone.

“Lucy–Lucy no, Lucy–if you ever loved me–”

She took a picture.

Okay, she took about ten. Sue her, he looked hilarious. “You’re my new favorite Christmas decoration,” she told him.

“I won’t forget this betrayal.”

Lucy walked over to him and sat on his chest, pecking him on the lips. “I’m sure you won’t. Y’know…” she mused, taking in his position and the fact that he was pretty restrained from the waist down, “…I could have some fun with this.”

“I wish I could say I can’t believe this, but that would be a lie.”

“You’re the one who somehow got himself tangled in Christmas lights like Bugs Bunny. And I’m about to reward you for it? You should be thanking me.”

“…thank you?”

“Much better.”

Later, much later, when they’d had their fun and had gotten the lights up and the last of the ornaments, Lucy sent one of the pictures to Amy.

Her sister’s response was immediate:

Y am i not surprised. Ur dating such a dork.

Then…

U blew him while he was tangled up didn’t u.

The phone was plucked out of her hands and set aside. “Hey!” she protested.

Flynn handed her a mug of hot chocolate and sat down next to her on the couch so that she could curl up under his arm. “You can gossip about your sexual escapades to your sister later.”

Lucy laid her head on his shoulder, sipping her hot chocolate, watching the lights on the tree twinkle. “Garcia?”

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Merry Christmas, moja ljubav.”

#lincoln answers things #lincoln writes stuff #timeless #timeless fanfic #garcy #garcy fanfic #a-singer-tumbles #I hope you enjoy love!

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theleastcarefulofgamedevs · 5 years

Note

hehehehehehehehe ur turn. overshare pals

hehe im lov u ceec :)

---

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles and soda cans!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate.... im lov it

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

hardworking, earnest, and honestly? they gave me too much credit ebagweaganegioawnegew

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between boho, goth, and grunge hehe

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones!

8. movies or tv shows?

movies,,

9. favorite smell in the summer?

you know that wet pavement smell after it rains? love that

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dodgeball hehehe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

nothin tbh. i don’t wake up early enough for it

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Writing Music! i made it hehehe

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

GUMMY BEARS AND JELLY BEANS

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“A Child Called ‘It’“ by Dave Pelzer

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cuddled up to someone in blankets,,, im lov anything with my s/o tbh

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have this beat up pair of blue slip ons that have bloodstains on em bc i got a nosebleed one day bwaeiugbaweugbaweubguaw

18. ideal weather?

post-raining, or like. just before it starts raining

19. sleeping position?

anything with my s/o or bein wrapped in like. a billion blankets

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on my home pc in my room!

21. obsession from childhood?

dice and video games!

22. role model?

i know it’s gonna sound dumb but like. a lot of characters from media have influenced me a lot, like sans/komaeda etc. another one from my real life would be my aunt on my mom’s side!

23. strange habits?

i bounce my leg while listening to music or stressed,, that’s abt it. OH and i like twirling a small blanket around on my arm bc... acrobatics of sorts

24. favorite crystal?

amethyst, but anything clean cut and rounded looks rlly nice imo,,

25. first song you remember hearing?

the first day i remember in my life was christmas at my grandma’s when i was 4, so probably random christmas music ubwegebwgwebgoibgweg

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

sometimes when i get tired of sitting around at home i like to walk down to the dog park by my house!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

cuddle,,,,,,,,,,, wrap up in a blanket with some freshly baked cookies n just. be there

28. five songs to describe you?

megalovania, medley rush 2 from the sonic rush ost, the promised neverland english op, metal crusher from undertale, metal scratchin’ from sonic rush

29. best way to bond with you?

just talk to me! im godawful at starting convos but i love talkin to ppl!

30. places that you find sacred?

every person’s room feels that way, as well as obvious places, like churches n whatnot. we went n visited my aunt’s old house so my mom could pick up some stuff and being in her room after she died in 2015 was just like. an emotion i can��t rlly describe

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

hoodie, trackpants, n sneakers hehe

32. top five favorite vines?

back at it again @ krispy kreme, ADAM, they were roommates, two dudes in a hot tub, my croissant

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either “be there soon” or “ily”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none tbh. i don’t watch much tv so i don’t see ads often

35. average time you fall asleep?

either 10:30 or sometime after midnight. no in between

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

it was a rage comic

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade, but i LOVE tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

LEMON CAKE....

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i was walkin in the halls with my friend and someone dropped a styrofoam cup of pasta on my friend’s head from the second floor awbegiuawbeguiawbguaewg

41. last person you texted?

the person who sent this ask heheheheh

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!

44. favorite scent for soap?

anything really, but i like whatever my s/o uses bc it would remind me of them!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

underwear tbh. like. that and a tshirt or just underwear is the only way i can sleep

47. favorite type of cheese?

sensory issues say i have to hate all kinds of cheese outside of like. grilled cheese so let’s go with that/cheddar

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

dragonfruit!

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

GOD pretty much every quote from monomi or chiaki in danganronpa 2, but mostly “if you learn to love yourself, that love will continue to carry you for your whole life! love, love...”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

OH HERES A FUCKIN STORY OK so i was at my friend’s house with a bunch of others bc we were doin a sleepover type thing and we were eating raising canes in his attic at like 3 am and some guy high on like. 3 different drugs at once got impaled through the leg on his fence. nobody saw him but we knew he was there and the cops were there in like 3 minutes. that very same friend has some of the most wack stories ngl

51. current stresses?

just doing well in school and making sure my s/o is happy!

52. favorite font?

comic sans.......................... im sorry

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my palms b sweaty but my fingers are dehydrated tbh. typin

54. what did you learn from your first job?

work.... difficult

55. favorite fairy tale?

probably the princess and the frog!

56. favorite tradition?

christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

probably my most noteworthy traumas tbh. gettin therapy for em, too

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, my ability to overcome obstacles, being able to help ppl as well as i can, and making friends fast!

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Not dead yet.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Probably either shounen, romance, or moe,,,,

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... should be burning in hell.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

sans, komaeda, makoto naegi, komaru naegi, toko fukawa, chiaki nanami, and chihiro fujisaki!

63. five songs that would play in your club?

they’d all be fall out boy tbh. that and videogame osts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

armor games hehe

65. any permanent scars?

i don’t think so? at least, not yet

66. favorite flower(s)?

roses and anything blue!

67. good luck charms?

my dice sets!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

vanilla york peppermint patties... gross

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

pikmin in pikmin 1 who are underneath a bridge when it’s completed are killed because they get pushed through the ground

70. left or right handed?

right handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

probably the hellish bumpy pattern all teachers have all over their fuckin classrooms

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

chicken nuggets in milkshake... good. or frankly just like. cooked chicken mixed with anythin cold like ice or ice cream

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like. 3 or 4

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i was eating a crunch bar and it fell out hehe

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

I WOULD DIE FOR FRENCH FRIES.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

any small blooming plant, like a single rose or flower!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

hrm. coffee from a gas station tbh

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

NEITHER LOOK GOOD LMAO and i don’t have a driver’s license. that’s just like. a prediction

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs!

82. pc or console?

either works but i spend more time on pc!

83. writing or drawing?

writing, but i like both!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio, but i love podcasts like TAZ or Critical Role!

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither? but probably barbie bc it’s more well known? idk

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes all the way b

87. your greatest fear?

me being the last person i know alive. i’d rather die than outlive everyone

88. your greatest wish?

i hope that no matter what there is after we die, i get to be with the people that are most important to me.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my s/o and family tbh

90. luckiest mistake?

buying danganronpa bweguowabguawebogbaweibg

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights!

93. nicknames?

i go by wes, dev, bines, anything rlly

94. favorite season?

spring!

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr hehe

96. desktop background?

it’s the ddlc cast! it’s a greyscaled image of four of the events cut together and their eyes glow hehe

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only one, and it’s my dads bc i have to call him every time i go to my grandparents’ hehe

98. favorite historical era?

probably the one we’re in now tbh, but like. also hate it

2 notes · View notes

iantomckay · 7 years

Text

It me. Ur Secret Santa

A/N: I don’t usually write McPricely so things may seem off and wonky. I apologize

There was a certain peace brought about by the presence of a soft and sunlight streaming gently through the gaps of the curtains. Connor McKinley was awake enough to notice them, to appreciate the sharp contrast between the cold air of the apartment and the warmth that came from being buried under a small mountain of soft blankets. With the muffled sound of Christmas music and the faint smell of breakfast wafted in through the door, Connor had his answer for the lukewarm empty space beside him.

Kevin stood in the kitchen making his usual favorite breakfast, pancakes. He’d said it’d been a sort of tradition for the Prices, having a large family meant food in batches were a logical solution and a time saver. Wearing a dark green Christmas sweater, Kevin looked up upon hearing Connor entering the room.

“Hi sleepy head. I was wondering when you’d get up. I was almost worried you’d sleep through Christmas.” He greeted, flashing that dazzling smile of his. They’d been together for a while now, about a year, in fact. Everytime he smiled, Connor found his heart racing, his face growing warm. He couldn’t help but smile back.

“Well now, I’d say that was a very far fetched worry. You know I’d never miss it. Not when we’ve put in hours of work to make this place look fabulous.” Connor answered, that grin on his face betrayed feelings he’d never tried to hide in the first place.

The apartment wasn’t very big but it was enough for the two of them. Walls were decorated with shiny sheets of paper, small paper snowflakes covered the wall. Lights were strung up along the corridors, some staying lit while others blinked on and off. If there was one thing that Connor had learned during his time as District Leader, it was how to make do with a small budget and even smaller supplies. He beamed at them whenever he walked past.

“Today is going to be perfect, I promise. I already planned out everything we’re going to do today.” Kevin babbled on, while simultaneously tending to the stove. Under the veneer of being a model mormon- neat, polite, good looking and well versed in the Book- Kevin Price was just a big kid who never really stopped dreaming, stopped hoping.

It was one of the things Connor liked about Kevin. Yes, there were the godly good looks that Heavenly Father himself must have crafted, but deep down there was that innocence and drive to do his best that he found appealing. It had been love at first sight for the then love starved Elder McKinley. Yes, he’d admit it now, that he’d fallen head over heels for Kevin simply because he was cute. There had also been the fact that he’d heard great things about Elder Price and the very slight possibility that ‘confused’ to Kevin meant the same ‘confused’ as him.

“You know, most people don’t plan out every minute of their holidays. Most people use the holidays the relax.” Connor pointed out, pretending to gently chastise him. He set the table as Kevin finished his job in the kitchen. Finally setting them down Kevin swatted Connor playfully.

“It’s our first Christmas together. I just wanted it to be perfect.” Kevin explained before digging in.

“Knowing you, I shouldn’t be surprised, should I?” Connor prodded. “I love these pancakes, Kevin. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of your cooking.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing you loving my cooking, either.” Kevin laughed, getting some syrup on his sleeve.

“Kevin-!” Connor pointed out, eyes wide.

Kevin looked down at the now dirtied sleeve. Frantically he started wiping at it with a napkin.

“Kevin you can just get another sweater.” Connor sighed as he started to get up.

“It’s just a little bit of syrup, it’s not that big a problem, Connor. Really, it’s fine.” Kevin responded, as he continued to dab at it.

“It’s going to be sticky the rest of the day.” Connor pointed out, less than happy with the turn of events. It was a small mishap really, but Connor liked to be neat and clean when possible. He’d learned to cope with all the dust getting into the Mission Hut back in the day, but it didn’t mean it didn’t drive him crazy.

“How about I wear one of my Disney sweaters Arnold got me last Christmas?” Kevin asked, ready to compromise.

“Why do I feel like this was on purpose just so you could wear the Mickey Mouse sweater?” Connor asked, leaning back. “Yes, of course. You can wear it. The tree already has a ton of Disney ornaments, I suppose this wouldn’t make a difference.”

It was true, the tree was decked out in mostly disney characters. Between the strings of multicolored lights and a few traditional, plain colored bulbs were an armada of small figurines hanging on the branches of their fake tree. A tiny Aladdin and Jasmine flew on their magic carpet, while Belle and The Beast danced together, holding hands a branch next to them. It was as if the entirety of Disney World had been vomited up on their tree…and Connor didn’t mind. Kevin was more than ecstatic when Connor had finally agreed to let him have that.

Kevin’s eyes lit up and he disappeared to their room. Not five minutes later, he reappeared, donning the red sweater with the cartoon mouse’s face staring at him goofily.

“I’m just letting you know I’m not wearing matching couple sweaters with you.” Connor told him as he took a drink of the coffee Kevin had made. The taste was still something he’d have to get used to but the caffeine did help with the odd sleep pattern he’d developed over the past decade of so of ‘turning it off’.

Kevin sat down, unperturbed by his boyfriend’s refusal to don a Minnie Mouse sweater next to him. “Aw, come on Connor, it wouldn’t be that bad.” He laughed, as he continued eating.

“Why do I get the feeling that’s one the present you got me this year.” Connor asked, shifting in his seat.

Kevin stopped, staring at him. “Did you-?”

Connor cut off Kevin before he could properly ask his question. “I didn’t peak, don’t be silly. I like surprises too you know. In fact, you’re my favorite surprise of all.”

Kevin raised his eyebrow, “Didn’t you know Arnold and I were coming to Uganda before we arrived?”

“Not that, but yes, I did. I think I got the letter about a few weeks before you arrived.” Connor remembered those days. Letters and even more paperwork arriving at his desk. An endless stream of papers that needed to be written and signed and budgets that needed to be allocated filled his days. He’d long since stopped actively taking part in trying to baptize the Ugandans. Their first few attempts had proved fruitless and after becoming District Leader, he’d had a lot less time to do things. Elder Thomas had played his right hand man in helping to run and organize the other Elders when Elder McKinley couldn’t.

Last he’d heard, and he kept in touch with Poptarts and Church who had since moved in together, they had recently visited both Mrs Church and Poptart’s sister at their graves. Connor had invited them over for Christmas but they decided to spend it together, mourning Church’s loss.

“The letter spoke highly of you, it gave us promise that maybe we wouldn’t fail. They really did make you out to be the perfect Mormon.” Connor let out a slight snort. “Imagine my surprise when I thought you might be having the same thoughts and worries that I did. I thought I wouldn’t be alone.” Connor spoke quieter now, looking down and away from Kevin. He knew that Kevin wouldn’t judge him, couldn’t, not when they were together. Still it made him feel…almost sick as he confessed. “As…as selfish as I might have been, I wished that…you were struggling too.” Connor closed his eyes, trying to ignore the queasiness in his stomach as he thought too deeply about the past. He had to keep moving forward, keep looking forward. As long as he had Kevin he would be fine.

He felt Kevin’s arms wrap around him, burying his face in his shoulder. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to think about that anymore. You have me now, and I have you. As long as we have each other, we’ll be fine.”

Connor lifted his head, swallowing hard. He tried to push the past away…the irony was not lost on him. He didn’t need to ruin the day, didn’t want to cry. On Christmas of all days, he shouldn’t be reliving old wounds.

He took Kevin’s hand, giving it a squeeze. If Connor ever needed a stronger reminder of how far they’d come, this was it.

“I’m sorry, it’s Christmas, I shouldn’t…shouldn’t be-”

“It’s ok to be upset. Remember what you said? You weren’t going to turn it off anymore.” Kevin whispered quietly in his ear. The Christmas music had been replaced with the old radio drama of ‘A Christmas Carol’ in the background.

“You’re-you’re right Kevin. I just didn’t mean to ruin your perfect Christmas plans.” Connor opened his eyes again, gazing at the Christmas tree in the corner, the small stash of presents huddled under them, waiting to be opened.

“Did you want to open presents now?” Connor asked, changing the subject. Upon seeing the concern on the other man’s face, he added quickly, “I’m feeling better, Kevin. Really, I am.”

Kevin reluctantly let Connor leave and make his way towards the tree. Picking out one of the presents he handed one to Kevin.

“I don’t remember which one this is, but I think you’re going to like it either way.” Connor said. It was medium sized, white with little red and green hollies peppering it’s shape.

“If it’s from you, then I’m sure I’d love it.” Kevin reassured him before opening his present to reveal a peculiar black package of coffee beans.

“I remember you ranting about how Starbucks doesn’t ‘do coffee right’ so I got you an extra special bag of your favorite beans. I think I got the right ones.” Connor had never gotten a hang of all the coffee lingo, the ‘subtle’ details that went into making the right cup of coffee. It was mind boggling how much Kevin knew now.

Kevin’s face broke out into a huge grin. “I love it, Connor. I can’t wait to try it.” Getting up, he knelt down by the tree and pulled out a pink present. There was no questioning who it was for or from.

A gift basket lay within, sporting some bath bombs, nice smelling soap, stress toys and chocolates. Connor had an idea of what he was looking at. He looked back up at an anxious and expectant Kevin.

“Do you like it? You’ve always been working so hard, I’ve been worried.”

Connor’s chest fluttered. “Is it really that obvious?” He asked, racking his mind to remember if anyone else had noticed it as well.

“We’ve known each other for years now, I think I can tell when you’re feeling stressed.” Kevin laughed, sitting down next to Connor.

“I love it. Really, I do.”

The next few hours went by blissfully as they opened the remainder of their presents, some from their fellow former Elders. Among them were a swiss army knife and a small wooden figure, both sent by George Michaels…the Mormon, not the Musician. Poptarts had sent them some baked goods, which were thankfully still fresh by the time they arrived. The blue cloudless sky faded into orange streaked indigo as Christmas day was turning into Christmas Night.

If every generation had a Christmas tradition, theirs was watching all the Christmas specials, no matter how bad they may be or how many times they’d seen the same specials over the years. Right now they were in the middle of Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer. As if listening to countless variations of the same five or so good Christmas songs weren’t good enough to drill the story of the poor deer into everyone’s mind from the time they were small children.

“My brother Jack loved this movie. Did I ever tell you of the year he was so obsessed with it that we play it all year when he was six?” Kevin told him, stretching as the clock got closer to their usual bedtime. Neither of them had to go back to work until New Years, but they had no intention of staying up until midnight. Besides, the movies would all end when the news came around nine or ten. By then the world would have had their fill of Christmas cheer riding it until New Years where they’d soon return to their ordinary lives and fall back into the routine.

“Does he still listen to Christmas music?” Connor asked, resting his head against Kevin’s shoulder.

“Of course. A true Price never runs from holiday tunes. It’s one of the few times that Dad would let us be…you know, kids.” Despite the cheer in his voice, there was a tinge of sadness in the undertones of it all.

Connor hesitated, knowing they were flirting with a dangerous subject. He’d heard a number of things of Kevin’s childhood and how they shaped him into the person he was today. Kevin had heard his childhood as well, but he wasn’t shaped as much by that as he was by his teen years.

“I believe you told me that before, with Orlando?” Connor reminded him, shifting on their couch. After hearing so much about Orlando, he’d never knew the full story for the longest time. Considering how often Kevin practically dedicated his heart to it and Disney, one would assume that would be the first thing he’d explained.

It was one of the last, one of his most treasured memories. A cornerstone of his whole person.

“Yeah, Orlando. We should go there someday.” Kevin replied, the slight waver in his voice becoming more apparent.

“I’d like that, Kevin. Just you and me. Maybe some of the other Elders. A real family trip to Orlando.” A promise, a thought, a wish- something so faint and translucent formed between them. A plan with no real beginning or end, no meat behind it besides wishful thinking.

Connor could feel his throat tightening up as thoughts of his family- the other McKinleys wafted through his mind. He remembered the smell of his mom’s food. The sounds of the usual Saturdays where his dad and his other brothers would eagerly listen to the radio or if they could, catch a game on the tv. His sister’s squeal of delight whenever Connor would push her on swing, or play tag with her. He wasn’t the youngest, but he was always willing to play with her.

He didn’t want to, but he saw in his mind’s eye, the empty spaces he would have been. The dining table, the couch, the place where his presents would be under the tree. His mind conjured up conversations they were and weren’t having. Conversations without him, conversations of him. Futures where he was lying but they still loved him, wanted him. Cherished him. His parents would beam down in pride when he graduated, when he got his first job. They’d go live their lives but still together, never truly alone.

The warm, hot tears were coming down hard now. He couldn’t fight it, that less than subtle loss that had plagued him-no, them- ever since they decided they wanted to commit, to be willing to throw away everything for the sake of each other. Kevin loved Connor and Connor loved Kevin. Still, the phantom uncertainty of whether they were right in the long run hung around like a fog. Never heavy enough to crush them, for them to move out of way. Never light enough to simply hand wave away. The only path left for them was to go forward, going back was something they could only dream of. Always out of reach, a phantom of their past.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, Connor. You-you have me. I have you.” Kevin reassured him, his voice thick with his own sorrow. Red, wet eyes with tear trails down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to…wasn’t going to- I just…how do I not think about them? I know I can’t-can’t go back but- they’re my family, Kevin. They’re our families.” The movie on the TV lost it’s realness, mere background noise full of now distant holiday spirit. The reminder that good things happened no matter what, that there was some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. None of it felt real.

Mickey’s big wide eyes stared back at Connor, blank and questioning.

Wiping the tears out of his eyes as well as Connor’s, Kevin drew him close once more. Connor always loved Kevin’s hugs, the warm, sheltering embrace. It felt like confidence, that he’d been right in trusting his feelings, to risk it all for a chance of happiness. True happiness that was what he really wanted. Love, a person he could be open and free with. It was a reassurance that it all mattered in the end, that despite of everything…no, because of everything that he was, that had happened, it was worth it.

“I miss them too, okay? I miss Jack, and Lance and the twins.

And-and life isn’t-isn’t fair. It sucks but in the future…in the future maybe they’ll see that they were wrong. Maybe they won’t, but they say that family isn’t who you’re related to, but who you choose. And I choose you. You chose me. Together we’re going to make it.” Kevin held him tighter if it was possible, as if he were afraid Connor would slip or float away.

That speech, it was something straight out of a Disney or even a cheesy romance film. It was full of sweetness and promises and hope. Comforting words that spoke of a happier future, of hardships and love that would last forever. Was it full of idealism? Yes. Was it realistic? Connor wanted to believe.

So he did.

It was one of their happier moments from when they were together.

#bom secret santa #submission

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forevercustoms-blog · 6 years

Text

Mark’s ‘66 Mustang

The “66 Nuthin” (From The Christmas Gift Part 1)

(excerpt M1, Chapter 2, Joseph)

I see the scars from my childhood fumbles, how is it they can heal but the ones inside seem to hurt forever? So many people have asked themselves this question, so many people can relate to these feelings of hot and cold that are not of the physical realm. We know that my mother felt these things when my father left us. I personally know these feelings far too well. Much more than I can even begin to explain. Is there a way to heal these scars? Or is there a way to ease the pain of the initial cuts? Which are of course the hardest hurdles to cross. Well maybe we can take a journey together in this book and try to find the answers together. Maybe somehow we can find the clues, we can explore the depths of true feelings, true “real” love, and the way to see deception and know the truth. Maybe we can even find the keys to unparalleled emotional bliss-Love, Joy, and Happiness sought after by so many but found by so few. Maybe, just maybe, we can find a wonderfully incredible love so powerful, deep, and true that no matter what this world throws at us, whatever obstacle that comes in our way- it just won’t matter because nothing and no one will be able to chill the burning flame inside our hearts, ever.

Now, still being a child, I never experienced these things. I don’t think there is a child who has. I’m not saying there aren’t many children who haven’t had hardships and felt pain. My heart surely goes out to the many children in the world living with hunger and homelessness. But for the most part no matter what is thrown at a child, they seem to adapt and you can still see them smile. That’s because the happiness they have does not come from external sources. External happiness is something that a child learns as they grow up in this material world. The true happiness that they embrace and radiate is the happiness that they came with. The happiness that is the only true happiness. It is the out of reach false happiness that is what destroys that which is real and true.

So where is it that change takes place? When is it that we cross over from the innocence and Joy of childhood? I believe it is the minute we are thrown into this world, it just takes a few years for the things of this world to infiltrate our minds and hearts. Children don’t just naturally hate someone. Children do not hold grudges, and they don’t try quickly to get revenge or hurt someone. No, these are all things that they learn to do by the conditioning they receive growing up.

(break in excerpt, Poem by FPA Staff Writer Kelsey B)

They inhaled at birth with something that would be

Ripped from them and

Changed into rust.

The rust forms as knowledge is gained, ironic?

They came with real love.

The love that was in their parent’s eyes for each other

Unless it was lustful, greedy-

They still would be born with real love,

But maybe it would be converted more quickly

To what can I have for me?

What can I take from him or her to satisfy my needs?

We all strive for happiness

Even those of us who are the most decayed,

Either it’s the zing in our bellies, the excitement we crave

But more authentically,

It is our heart sitting on a concrete base.

It isn’t the butterflies, or the racing pulse,

It is the knowing

The peace-

How?

Children have a light shining from within

Without material

Without external need

They simply are

How can we be?

How can our rusted souls

Become luminous again?

Our hearts have been subject to a selfish bitter winter

Sometimes, we find a home that is secure, but the cold can still break in,

When we scrape the ice off the inside of the windows to see out,

What is our world colored with?

Are we empowered by the love within us?

Or are we grasping and fiending for something to fill the holes inside us?

Or is our heart burned instead of iced over?

Has it become tight and black?

When it has, maybe it is like crusted lava fields, something still shines out.

How can the lava melt away the

Blackened crust?

R ealize that

E ach and

O ur V essels need the

E ssential

(resume excerpt M1, Chapter 2)

Well, by now, I’m about fifteen years old, cruising through life. Cars and girls are the only motivation. Get a killer car, and you can get a fine girl. After years of no progress in the weight room and not much more on the guitar, I noticed that the guys with girls always had a car. I had only a learner’s permit and my Schwinn bicycle, a three speed on the column that I converted to a BMX. Yep Kmart was my auto parts store, and the trails at Terra Village apartments were my cruising grounds. How could I change this?, I thought as I cruised shotgun in my brother in laws 66 mustang. West Colfax Avenue, was the big boys cruise strip and Super Shops was the toy store. I’ll never forget how my sister’s boyfriend now my brother-in-law became my best friend. He would come ever to taker her on a date and would end up taking me instead. It was great. We would hit Wendy’s first off. It was always the same thing, a triple, large fries, and a frosty. I loved the way he used to eat his frosty like a push up without a spoon or straw. Then it was off to the strip, either west Colfax or 16th street down town Denver which now has been converted to an outdoor mall.

I’ll never forget one night when we were down on 16th everyone was hanging out of their cars yelling at other cars and people walking down the street. You would see guys chugging beer as they revved their engines and squealed their tires. The girls just giggled and flirted then would take off and try to elude the guys. Then it happened, two very pretty girls in a souped up VW bug drove up next to us. They were on my side of the car. I pressed my feet to the floor and wriggled myself in the seat in an attempt to look taller. Resting my right arm on the door while my left reached across the seat in a desperate attempt to get Mark’s attention. “Mark, check it out” I tossed out of the side of my moth trying to keep my cool composure. Then slowly I began to turn my head. It seemed like slow motion. The adrenaline rushed through my veins and the butterflies were going crazy in my stomach. My eyes opened as my head came to rest pointed right at the girl in the driver’s seat. She was looking right at me, our eyes met and she smiled. I don’t remember for sure but I think I screamed. I know I did on the inside anyway. Before I could gather my thoughts the light turned green and they were off. Sitting there completely in awe and baffled by the whole ordeal. I looked at Mark and said “Mark I have got to get a car!” Yes this is the one and only way to get chicks. I convinced myself. Not hearing something Mark said, I turned “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I said. “Are you OK?” he replied. “Yeah, I’m OK” I said, as the sound of the finely tuned V8 exhaling through the dual turbos purred through my heart. I discovered the rush of the connection between boy and girl, male and female, man and woman, and the vehicle in which I was to travel to make the physical contact that my heart had been longing for. As I looked into Mark’s eyes I was lost in the feeling of the control he had over this vessel as he sailed through the streets of our hometown.

I sure envied him, so big and strong and sharp looking. I could truly see all that my sister did in this man, Colorado State University engineering student about to be the next Nuclear Engineering Consultant. Oh how proud I was when my sister announced their engagement, and “to my best friend!” I shouted to everyone making sure they knew. He just looked at me and smiled, grabbed me, roughed up my hair and said “shacker” the name we called each other. For a moment I forgot about the girls. I forgot about the cars, I forgot about all that I thought love was as I embraced a moment of real love, real admiration, and saw with eyes that only now have come to understand. That smile, that gleam in his eyes, that wonderful way he would look at my sister as though he was going to cry with joy. That image truly outshined the brightest star leaving the most impressive forms of transportation paled rust in comparison.

Looking back at that time, I can’t see that car anymore. I forgot what those flirting girls looked like. But in my mind and in my heart I can still see that smile on his face. And I see it in the faces of their children who are true reflections of the love they have shared now for over 17 years. I salute them for their strength, for the unconditional understanding, and undying love. And though not truly grasping all they had taught me until even now, for showing me the difference between looking through the eyes of desire and looking through the eyes of love. Thank you Mark & Pam.

#forevercustoms #foreverperformingarts

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