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tyrionsnose · 5 years

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I read this post about revolutionary villains and it got me thinking about what is so weird and unsatisfying (besides generally awful writing) about Tyrion’s ending in GOT, even though he ostensibly “won the game.” And yeah, yeah, I’m not really interested in hearing about how him surviving is an example of the writers letting privileged men off the hook because...it isn’t. Despite ending as hand of the king, Tyrion is also punished by the narrative in some weird ways and ones that are specifically designed to de-emphasize those aspects of his character that do make him a revolutionary figure in the books.

They couldn’t kill Tyrion because he’s a popular character, he drinks and he knows things, he’s played by Emmy winning Peter Dinklage, and he provides a lot of the show’s comic relief (although it stopped being a relief a while ago because again, poor writing). But they did something worse to the character, imho, they neutered him.

If Daenerys is a revolutionary and a kind of well-intentioned extremist, Tyrion’s character has always been a deconstruction of another villain trope that sort of goes hand in hand (no pun intended) with that archetype: that of the evil advisor.

I’m thinking about this in part because I just went to see the new live action Aladdin, in which the villain, Jafar, frequently rants about how being second isn’t enough for him, he has to rule everything. He even compares himself to the title hero, implying that he too started from nothing and worked his way up. It’s another story about using magic to upset the social order, and it’s interesting to look at since, at least for me, the original movie provides one of the most recognizable pop culture examples of the evil chancellor who is motivated by naked ambition. It’s also a trope rife with ableist and racist implications.

What’s sort of interesting about Tyrion is that he plays the role of the evil chancellor in different ways at various points in the narrative. In the asoiaf books he is a clear deconstruction of the role, and this is actually made explicit in A Clash of Kings, when he is labelled a “demon monkey” and blamed for Joffrey and Cersei’s crimes. His later motivation for joining Daenerys’ revolution in the books is initially a desire for personal revenge, but it’s also something that comes about because he himself has been booted by the system and blamed for other people’s crimes because of his vulnerability as a disabled person, and his own family helps to let him take the fall for this because he’s a convenient scapegoat. A revolution is what Tyrion needs to help him get back his birthright, and by the end of ADWD he is already starting to believe in Daenerys’ cause despite himself.

In the show, Tyrion is motivated to aid Daenerys because he believes in her cause, because he believes that she can change the world for the better. He is explicitly told in season five that he himself cannot hope to rule because of who he is, but he can aid another in creating a world where people like him are not abused and used as scapegoats. He comes to believe in Daenerys not only for what it means to him personally but also because he genuinely believes that she can make things better for everyone. In the scene where Tyrion is made Daenerys’ hand, he gives a speech about how she restored his belief in justice. It’s interesting to note that the way this scene is filmed, Tyrion is standing a step above Daenerys so that the height difference between them is minimized. They are on equal footing, and Daenerys treats Tyrion as an equal where previously other characters saw him as lesser because of his disability. As Joffrey’s hand, he is constantly belittled and undermined, and then disposed of when he is no longer useful to the Lannister regime. Here, Dany has purposefully made him her equal, and also defends his right to sit in her council when others attempt to belittle him.

A big problem on the show is that the writers did not really know what to do with Tyrion once he joined Daenerys, though, so he spent a long time treading water. As I said above, the show could not kill him, but they couldn’t let the Tyrion from the books be portrayed onscreen, either. He had to be stripped of all of his ambition and made largely a passive actor, lest he be accused of the same thing the characters in A Clash of Kings accused him of. And indeed, he becomes the scapegoat for Daenerys when she needs someone to lash out at. When the narrative calls for it, he gives bad advice - because revolutions are not supposed to work out - and when the narrative calls for someone to give lip service about Dany’s “madness,” he becomes Exposition Guy, because he drinks and he knows things and he’s there to give information but doesn’t really have any personal interests anymore, he’s just an advisor to everyone else. This was contradictory because the show ALSO seemed to be promoting the narrative that he wasn’t as smart as he thought he was - which is a common narrative aimed at marginalized people that dare to be competent. The show also seemed to be characterizing him as someone who is “easily offended,” who “can dish it but can’t take it,” also stereotypes about marginalized groups. Meanwhile the show has characters remark and point out how stagnant he is. In season 8 he spends a lot of time waffling between Varys, Jon Snow, Sansa, and Dany, but then when the show needs someone to do the dirty work and explain to Jon Snow the hero why he has to kill Daenerys, it’s Tyrion who does that, because he can do all the manipulative and less savory stuff that our heroes can’t do. As he tells Jaime, he can do this because is a “bad person,” and specifically invokes his dwarfism when he explains this. “Tens of thousands of innocent lives, one not-particularly-innocent dwarf. Seems like a fair trade.”

And yeah, he’s made hand to king Bran at the end, but he’s also right back where he started. Tyrion’s learned his lesson about trusting in revolutionaries, he’s back in a role of servitude, and the social order has been maintained. He doesn’t even get a mention in the “Song of Ice and Fire” because he doesn’t get his own story, he’s literally there to give advice to and serve others. The fact that he’s technically lord of Casterly Rock and the Westerlands now doesn’t even get a mention, just like he doesn’t get a mention in the “book of the book.” I guess he really does just drink and know things, after all, but what he should have known is that this story was never about him. I saw a lot of criticism of the finale along the lines of Tyrion talking too much, and he does, but hardly any of what he actually says is about himself, it’s all about others and “the realm,” and explaining the story to the audience so that the writers can make sure we draw the right conclusions. Book Tyrion is a character of deep longings and rage against the way things are, a perfect pair for Dany’s revolutionary spirit. Show Tyrion doesn’t even really seem to want things anymore, his appetites dulled. Dying for his own ideals would have been a better ending than having his edges gradually sanded off and whittled away until he’s literally just a hand and a voice for whoever is in charge.

#tyrion lannister #game of thrones #got for ts #daenerys targaryen #asoiaf meta

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asknightqueendany · 5 years

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The one thing with sophie that really bothers me is how she could not stop talking about dany durring the dark phoenix press tour. She probably thought people would turn on dany and it would be funny or something, it was really weird and unnecessary

I’ve been reading a lot about Sophie and her interviews and arguments about how D&D may or may not favor her, etc. etc.

And something just came to me.

Sophie was actually alright with the Sansa/Ramsay rape scene in Season 5. I remember reading interviews with her before then and she was talking about how excited she was about the scene, for audiences to see it, how twisted it was. I can’t give exact quote and I can’t give exact links because it was years ago, but yeah. She liked that scene.

I think when Sophie did the rape scene, she herself considered it a right of passage. (This is all my speculation). She had her “Emilia moment.” She got to sink her teeth into more “juicy” material, acting-wise.

I honestly think this is why Sophie liked the scene. And she defended it after people reacted badly to it, but she was hyping it a lot before it happened. And like with a lot of things this last season, she was hyping it in a way that communicated to the audience that she enjoyed the creative decision, not like Emilia or Peter Dinklage who defend the show like they’ve got a gun to their heads.

And so, when Sophie was okay with that scene and defended the writers afterward, I think Benioff and Weiss just fell even more in love with Sansa. Sophie liked doing the “dirty work” and she was good at it. So they gave her more and she loved it more. And I think it motivated D&D to give Sansa a “happy” ending to reward Sophie for being their enthusiastic hype girl all these years. For defending them but meaning it genuinely.

This isn’t answering your question anon, I’m sorry.

So far as Sophie constantly ragging on Dany during the Dark Phoenix press tour, yeah it was weird and unnecessary. I think Sophie inherently knew that people might not like the season and that it would be because of Dany’s ending, so she tried to trash Dany and paint her character as horribly as possible during a press tour for something entirely different in order to try to get the message out there, “don’t feel sorry for this bitch, she’s a tyrant, my character’s great, Sansa is amazing, love her instead.”

But she just did the opposite because she pissed all the Dany stans off and made us want to defend Dany more, and we still stick by Dany.

It drives me crazy when people accuse Kit of being a misogynist and elitist for thing’s he’s said, when Sophie has been enthusiastically defending the writing of the show for a while. I get she’s “young” and “naive” but still. She should know better. I think she just comes at this from a place of ego. She got a lot of hype around seasons 4-6 and it went to her head. Like Sansa’s other fans, she wanted Sansa to be the main character, and she was never meant to be and she’s jealous.

She says in the 6x09 commentary “I’ve always wanted an Emilia moment.” She wanted to be the star. It’s plain as day.

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greatghuleh · 5 years

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GoT finale was a small limp dick of a finale

Enjoyable parts.

- Drogon burning the throne.

- Drogon not dying.

- Brienne being head of the Kingsguard (tho i don’t actually understand why she didn’t stay by Sansa’s side).

- Music was on point.

- Acting very on point. (Peter Dinklage like for real)

- uhhhhhhhhh I do kind of like Jon going back north of the wall. but also it makes so many things entirely pointless??

Not enjoyable parts.

- everything else

- Gah, honestly mostly filler

- Bran??? Bran?! BRAN?! waat. The boy who’s actually done like shit all. The boy who doesn’t even really seem to consider himself a person anymore? A boy who doesn’t seem capable of actual human emotion or empathy anymore? But he’s got a great memory so that works?

- Last episode and this episode continued to do Danaerys dirty. Wow. Just... WOW.

- Greyworm just lost every ounce of morality, didn’t he?

- Was hoping with the Throne destroyed it’d just be like “no one king” but like they still did that... tho Sansa gets to keep a free north? and nobody else gets to?

- Brienne having to write all that shit about Jaime. Cold blooded by the writers. Absolutely cold blooded.

- Basically everything is absolutely pointless. Like, i don’t get why 6 of the 8 seasons exist at this point.

- Honestly, boring.

#got for ts #game of thrones for ts #got spoilers for ts

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tshirttrend · 4 years

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Classic Men's There are very few moments with Be Nice To Your Mail Carrier They Know Your Dirty Little Secrets T-Shirt . where the deeper, somber feeling works through. The conversation between ghost and guardian, which ended mostly as a ghost just talking – about what the guardian was doing in Forsaken – that’s what I prefer. Feels like they went for a Borderlands vibe when I wanted him to double down on the seriousness of the situation(s). Peter had a dry dark humor and was very monotone but no one was complaining about it if you ask me, we were too busy having fun. Having moments of humor is a good thing, but Destiny should be serious about the stakes at risk. If anything, a serious tone would make naturally funny moments even better. On the other hand, it isn’t difficult to record fairly high-quality audio at home (I’m sure his home has some spot that’s pretty reliably quiet or can be easily made so). whatever, you can record voice lines remotely quite well, particularly for a voice that’s going to have at least some distance/radio filter layered over it. I would love voice options for our ghosts but I totally understand how expensive that shit would get real fast. Kinda like how titanfall did their titan voices in the first game. I can understand how it would be challenging to update them to the new D2 engine and whatnot. But I don’t get why they have left entire planets by the wayside. I miss the Moon and Venus most of all. Maybe the Cosmodrome too, I prefer that to the EDZ. Ah yes, using resources for free content. Unless you’re assuming that they’re already doing that in the penumbra, or you wish they did, or something. But that’s obviously no reason to order them to bring it back. You Can See More Product: https://luxuryt-shirt.com/product-category/trending/ Read the full article

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luxuryt-shirt · 4 years

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newshirtonlines-blog · 4 years

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#BeNiceToYourMailCarrierTheyKnowYourDirtyLittleSecretsT-Shirt

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lyannas · 7 years

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Top 5 Game of Thrones actors!

Liam Cunningham

Gwendoline Christie

Lena Headey

Peter Dinklage

Indira Varma

Alexander Siddig

(i know that’s six but man, they did Sid so dirty)

#meggiry-khaleesi #asks

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brokensmilefanfiction · 7 years

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Chapter Five

After that phone call, my relationship with Kit changed. There was something deeper about it, something serious. Sure we still had light hearted and funny conversations and more often than not, Kit was laughing.

But I found myself thinking about him in a different way.

I couldn’t believe that he thought I was beautiful. But Kit, he was beautiful. Not just for his looks but, for he was. I liked that I could talk to him, I liked that he made me think about things in a different way, a deeper way. I liked him.

I wasn’t willing to examine the depth of those feelings just yet.

But to say I was excited to see the back of that horrid tour bus and get on the plane to head Belfast was an understatement. I felt strangely nervous to be meeting Kit at the airport. I actually felt like a little girl, giddy with excitement.

When I came out of the terminal, he was there, standing with his hands in his pockets, the sun streaming in from the window behind him.

I had to admit it, he looked handsome. His black shirt was tight and showed off his muscled chest. I had no idea that he liked to wear such tight clothing. Had he gotten hotter since I saw him last?

To be fair, the last time I had seen him, he had been vomiting into a toilet.

He smiled when he saw me and raised his hand in a wave.

I smiled and quickened my step, dragging my suitcase behind me. My scarf that bunched around my neck, bounced with my steps I was so eager to get to him. He opened his arms and I let go of the handle of my suitcase and wrapped my arms around his middle in a hug.

It sound cliché and I hated even thinking it, but something about being in his arms felt right.

But before I could let myself dissolve into a puddle of romantic movie muchness, I pulled back to look at him, smiling widely, “How have you been?”

“Good. Good.” He assured me, “How was your flight?”

“Bigger than a tour bus, so I’m happy.” I grinned.

“You got any other luggage?” he asked as he went to take my suitcase handle.

“Yes sadly, this is just my carry on.” I sighed.

“What’s in here?” he asked curiously as we walked through the airport.

“My monkey.” I grinned.

“Why did you make that sound dirty?” he laughed.

Going to the baggage claim, I suddenly had an idea as I handed Kit my phone, “Do me a favour?”

“What?”

“Film what I’m about to do? It’s for the vlog.” I smiled.

“Why do I feel like I’m about to be an accessory to a crime?” he asked.

“It’s only a crime if you get caught.” I grinned as I backed away from him.

He simply smiled and shook his head.

Going to the shoot of the baggage claim, I waited until my black suitcase covered in monkey stickers came out before I climbed on top of it. I could see Kit and half of the other people waiting for their bags laughing as I effectively rode my case along the conveyer belt.

Once I got to the end, I dismounted and took a bow while the patrons by the belt cheered. I then walked back over to Kit, dragging my suitcase behind me as he pointed my phone at me.

“Did you get it?” I asked.

“Yep.” He smiled as he handed my phone back to me, “You’re crazy.”

“To quote a friend of mine, I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.” I grinned.

He laughed and then, to my surprise, he linked his arm through mine and we walked through the airport together. I didn’t say anything about our entwined arms but as we got to the exit, I noticed there were quite a few paparazzi waiting for us.

I hadn’t had much interactions with paparazzi before. But I knew they were all about speculation, so I expected Kit to step away from me, to not give them any ammunition to say the two of us were dating or anything, but he didn’t.

We walked through that paparazzi gauntlet arm in arm, suitcases trailing behind us.

…

The Lyric Theatre in Belfast had a seating capacity of five-hundred and twenty people. For the last forty days I had been performing in little one-hundred seat theatres. So it was a nice change to be playing big rooms again.

It was obviously not the biggest show I had played, that was reserved for the comedy festivals I had done to sell-out crowds of two-thousand. Not to mention the Emmy’s which had been televised.

But it was one of the most expensive shows I had ever played, each seat went for a minimum of a hundred and fifty pounds! I didn’t bother working out what that would be in Australian dollars.

Apart from the Game of Thrones cast, which involved Kit, Maisie and Sophie, there was also Emilia Clarke, Peter Dinklage, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Alfie Allen, John Bradley and Gwendoline Christie, there was going to be a few comedians performing.

There was me, Andy Samberg, Zach Braff and Jack Whitehall.

Ed Sheeran would be performing a few songs as well.

It was all for charity and it looked like it was going to be a good night.

After getting me from the airport, we didn’t even have time to go to the hotel so I could dump my suitcases, we had to go straight to the theatre where we had to go through some tech rehearsals for the show that night.

Going into the theatre, Kit introduced me to everyone, I already knew Maisie, Sophie, Andy and Jack but I was pleased to meet everyone else and Zach Braff.

“I’m a huge Scrubs fan.” I smiled as I shook his hand.

“Thanks. I loved your bit at the Emmys.” He said.

“Thanks.” I smiled.

I then went and sat down in the front row next to Kit while we watched everyone go through the technical rehearsals of their skits.

When Kit got on stage I was surprised to see there was a band setting up.

“Well this isn’t nerve wracking at all.” He said as he stepped up to the microphone stand, “About to try and do some comedy in front of comedians. Fantastic.” He grumbled.

I thought, for none of them being really trained in comedy, that all of the Game of Thrones cast was doing quite well. I had laughed at several acts. But all of them seemed to be intimidated by myself, Jack, Andy and Zach. Which I couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t like we were going to judge them if they weren’t funny, if anything we were going to be far more supportive because we knew how hard it was to get a laugh.

I even gave Maisie and Sophie some pointers when they asked for it. Gwendoline and Peter however were absolute naturals up there and I thoroughly enjoyed their acts.

I was more than a little surprised that Kit was going to be doing a musical number, “Can he sing?” I asked Andy.

“No.” he replied.

I grinned, this was going to be funny.

The music started and it actually took me until he started singing to recognize the song, “Wildling… You make my heart sing. You pull your bow string...”

I cackled with laughter, clapping my hands in amusement. He wasn’t a bad singer, but he definitely wasn’t a good one.

“And shoot me… Wildling, I think I love you…”

I could see Kit was nervous, he was staring out into the crowd, but he wasn’t moving around, he wasn’t selling the song. Even though he was still funny, if he performed it as though he was serious that would have really worked in selling it.

“But I wanna know for sure… I want to take you into that cave and kiss you... down there.”

I giggled, before I turned to Andy, “This is pretty good.”

“Yeah, too bad she broke his heart.” He said seriously.

“Who did?”

“Rose. The Wildling.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Kit and I had briefly touched on the topic of his ex-girlfriend and I knew that it was something that had caused him a bit of pain. But talking about it now, given the way I was feeling about him, felt weird.

“I think he’s getting over her now though.” Commented Andy.

“What makes you say that?” I asked, the words leaving my mouth before I could stop them.

“He’s happier now. Happier than I’ve seen him in a long time.” He said before he nudged me, “I think that’s because of you.” He said quietly.

“Me?” I asked in confusion.

“Yeah. You make him laugh. It’s good for him.” He said seriously.

“Well I’m happy to be there for him. He’s a great guy.” I said just as seriously.

“Yeah! Wildling...” he sung.

We cheered as he took his bow.

“Alright Bridgette! Can we get you up there?” called a voice over the public announcement system.

“Yeah.” I said as I hauled myself out of my seat and went over to my smaller suitcase that had been my carry on which housed my puppet.

Grabbing my handbag, I headed up onto the stage.

It was sad to say that I actually found in more nerve racking to perform for an audience of ten then I did for an audience of ten thousand. These just weren’t any people they were all professional entertainers, actors and worst of all other comedians. They were my peers, not that I thought I was even remotely on the same level as them and I knew they would judge me harshly.

“Alright,” I breathed into the microphone as it made that horrible crackling sound, “So I suppose I should just cut the crap and get the monkey out.” I said speaking out loud.

“Yes!” called Jack enthusiastically from the audience.

“Ok,” I said as I shoved my hand into my handbag, supporting the bottom of it with my lower hand, “Alright Monk, out on one, two, three,” I began. I don’t know why I was counting down, it made no difference but it did help to prepare myself.

Out popped the monkey’s head from the bag, “Hello!” he greeted.

Everyone in the audience cheered.

“Alright, get rid of the bag.” I said, speaking out loud.

Normally I would just take my hand away from the bottom of the handbag and let it fall but for some reason when I did that this time, it didn’t fall. Both Monk and myself looked down to see what the problem was and I realized in my haste to have Monk out on stage to distract the attention from me, I had shoved my hand through one of the bag loops and it was now stuck on my wrist.

“Oh dear, you’ll have to go through.” I said as I grabbed the bag strap and began to slide it over Monk’s head.

“Sort it out bitch.” He commented dryly.

The guys in the audience laughed as the bag fell to the ground.

“There’s no going back now.” He commented.

“No, there’s no going back.” I agreed as I tried to stare out at the vast amounts of empty seats in the auditorium and not the ten occupied seats in the front row.

“What’s that thing in front of us?” asked Monk.

“That’s my microphone.” I replied.

“Where’s mine?” he asked.

“You haven’t got one.” I told him.

“Well that screws up the illusion.” He commented.

The boys in the audience cackled with laughter.

“You don’t need one, you can talk into mine.” I told him.

He leaned forward and spoke with his mouth next to the microphone, “testing, testing, one, two, three.” He said before he leaned back and spoke away from the microphone, “testing, testing, one, two, three. It makes no fucking difference!”

They laughed.

“Monk! This is going on television. You can’t swear.” I chastised.

“They can beep me.” He said.

“They can’t beep you.” I sighed “Come on,” I said addressing the audience, “I wanted to start by saying that most ventriloquist-”

“Are dead.” Interrupted Monk.

“Not dead.” I scolded.

“Or at least lonely.” He added.

“No, most ventriloquist-”

“Can’t afford to feed their kids.” He interrupted again.

“Monk, shut up. No, most of them-”

“Die on cruise ships.” He butted in.

“Monk!” I sighed in apparent defeat as the boys laughed, “Am I going to get to the end of my sentence or are you going to keep interrupting me?”

“How would you not know that Bridgette?” he asked pointedly.

They laughed again.

“Ok, fine. But can you not deconstruct our act all the time?” I asked.

“What, you think they think you’re talking to a real monkey?” he asked.

They laughed harder.

“She’s in denial.” Said Monk.

“That’s not true.” I countered.

“She’s getting therapy. From me.” He added.

I shook my head, “So what do you want to do? Do you want to tell a joke?”

“Go on then.” He encouraged.

“Why did the monkey cross the road?” I asked.

“Because he saw you standing behind him, rolling up your sleeve.” He replied.

They burst out laughing once more.

“I hate my life.” Commented Monk, “My vicarious life.”

“You hate it?” I asked.

“Yes. I don’t even have my own problems I have yours.” He said.

They giggled.

“I can’t sleep at night I’m so worried about her student loan.” He said as he looked down, “what’s that?” he asked.

“What’s what?”

“I’ve got a tag.” He declared.

“Yeah you do. Just ignore it.” I said.

“It says ‘made in china.’” He read aloud before he turned back to me, “and yet I sound like Sean Connery.”

Everyone laughed and I could see some of them were getting quite red in the face from laughter.

“I think he’s my dad.” Said Monk.

“How could Sean Connery be your dad?” I asked.

“I don’t know, maybe he got sexy with an oven mitten.” He replied.

The boys laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh in relief when I realized that I wasn’t dying up here and that they actually found me funny.

“Look at you, standing there laughing at your own jokes.” Commented Monk.

Everyone laughed harder just as a voice came over the P.A system.

“Alright Bridgette, that’s all we needed. Thank you.” They said.

“Oh, ok.” I said, a little surprised that my sound check had finished so quickly.

The boys clapped, the sound echoing around the empty hall as I did a small curtsey, far too relieved that my time was over before I turned, grabbed my handbag off the ground and placed Monk back inside.

…

I was in the dressing room that I was sharing with Emilia and Gwen. I’d finished getting dressed for the show, I was wearing one of my nicer pairs of jeans with a royal blue top and a yellow jacket; with matching dark blue heels and earrings. I was just beginning to put my make-up on for the show when there was a polite knock at the door.

“Come in!” I called.

Kit popped his head inside and looked around before he spotted me and smiled, “Hey.”

“Hey.” I smiled.

Slipping inside he shut the door behind him, “You look nice.” He commented.

“Yeah I bet your outfit cost more than mine.” I teased as I stared at his reflection in the mirror.

“You nervous about tonight?” he asked as he leaned against the dressing table, his arms folded across his chest as he stared down at me intently.

“No. I’m an old pro at this kind of thing.” I dismissed as I ran my make-up brush over my nose.

Kit nodded, pursing his lips seriously as he looked down at the ground. I may not have been nervous, but I could tell he was.

“You’ll do great.” I told him seriously, “You love live theatre. This isn’t anything different.” I soothed.

“Yeah, I just didn’t really think I was funny. And this is for charity so I want to make it good.” He said turning to look at me, “Got any pointers?”

I hesitated before I answered, on the one hand he had asked for my advice, but on the other hand, if I was to tell him how to improve his act, it might undermine his confidence and I didn’t want to do that.

“The song is great. It’s funny and people will laugh for sure.” I assured him, “But I think if you really get into it, you pretend you’re a rock star and throw some Mick Jagger moves in there you’ll take it to the next level.” I told him.

He nodded, seeming thoughtful as he absorbed the information, “Thanks Bridge.”

I shrugged, “Don’t mention it.”

…

The night was a huge success! I wasn’t sure how much money we made exactly for the Red Nose Foundation but it was close to eighty grand. With that success in mind we all decided to head out to a bar and celebrate, Ed Sheeran, the musical guest for the night decided to join us while Peter, Gwendoline and Emilia went home.

If it wasn’t for Sophie and Maisie I would have been the only girl hanging out with all the boys.

A round of shots was ordered and we all clinked glasses in celebration.

“Pace yourself. Remember last time?” I grinned as Kit placed his empty shot down on the bar.

“Yes, thank you so much for reminding me.” He said, rolling his eyes, “That’s not embarrassing at all.”

I giggled in amusement, “Seriously though, you were great tonight. You sang that song like you owned it! Twirling the microphone and stuff, it was great.”

“Well thank you.” He smiled.

“Kit! You on for a game of pool?” asked Alfie Allen from over at the pool table.

“Yeah!” he called before he turned to me, “Want to play doubles?”

“I can’t play for shit. But I’ll come and commentate.” I smiled.

Heading over to the pool table it was decided that Kit and Alfie would verse Ed and Andy while everyone else sat around drinking and talking.

“Bridge I have to ask; how do you do that monkey voice without moving your lips?” asked John Bradley curiously.

“It’s all about muscle control and practice. You have to just go against your instincts and situate your voice more in your mouth rather than in your lips.” I told him.

“Wow. That’s so interesting.” He said.

“You should try it. It makes you an excellent kisser.” I grinned.

He burst out laughing.

“If only I was lesbian. I’d be drowning in booty.” I joked.

He laughed harder, as did Alfie, Maisie, Zach and Sophie, who were within ear shot.

“Hey Kit! This one’s a keeper!” called John.

I turned to Kit and waited for him to correct him, to tell him I was not a keeper because I wasn’t a girlfriend but he didn’t. He simply smiled and leaned down to take a shot on the table.

“How’d you come up with the character of the monkey?” asked Zach.

“Well people think monkey’s should have like a high and squeaky voice and I just wanted to do the exact opposite. I wanted this cute little puppet to just be really dark and sarcastic.” I explained.

“That’s so cool.” Commented Maisie.

The rest of the night was great. We ended up having a girl versus boy’s competition in pool. Then Comedian’s versus actors. Then Starks versus everyone else. We basically didn’t leave the pool table the whole night. It was great.

But the bar shut at three in the morning so we all headed back to our hotels. Kit and I were staying on the same floor so he walked me to my door.

“So what’s next for you?” he asked curiously.

“Well I’m flying back to London tomorrow to meet up with some movie executives to discuss the promotional stuff for the movie, which comes out at the end of the month, so two weeks from now… god where did the time go?” I asked, marvelling a little at how crazy my schedule was about to get, “Then after the movie I’m going to be playing in pubs around London for a month. Try and branch out to the UK audiences.”

“Sounds pretty hectic.” He commented.

“Yeah, but I like to keep busy.” I told him, “I’m just nervous about the movie coming out. I didn’t realize how close it was.” I said honestly.

“Hey,” he said, hooking his hand around my arm and pulling me to stop so I looked at him, “It’s going to be fine. Your movie is going to be great. You’re going to be great. Don’t worry about it.” He said.

I let loose a long breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding before I stepped forward and leaned my head against his chest. I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that this large gamble in my career would pay off and not crash and burn like I was so sure it would.

He wrapped an arm around me and rubbed my back soothingly.

Sighing I pulled back, staring at the floor, “I guess I should head to bed.” I announced before I looked up at him.

He was looking down at me with a strange look in his eye. I couldn’t be sure, but I thought his gaze flicked down to my lips. Was he thinking about kissing me? No! Of course not! We were friends. If he was thinking about kissing me, it was because he had more to drink than I realized.

Even so, the air between us crackled with tension. I felt as if there was some magnetic force pulling us together. Right in the centre of my chest, it was like I was drawn to him. Every time the thought of moving away cross my mind, the force of the pull intensified.

There was nothing for it. I would have to get closer to him. But I could be sneaky about it. Stepping closer, I placed my hand on his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his cheek. That was innocent enough, something that friends did all the time. Even though I was positive that what I was feeling for Kit was not in the realm of ‘friendship’ anymore.

As I pressed my lips to the skin of his cheek, his facial hair tickling me, I felt him turn his head as his lips brushed the side of my face.

The pull from before had suddenly become internal and I felt as if my stomach was in knots that were clenching so tightly it was almost painful. Unable to take the proximity to him and the feeling in my stomach I pulled away and took an automatic step back.

I locked eyes with him and saw his brow was creased with confusion.

“Well, bye!” I said, far too loudly before I turned on my heel and practically fled to my room.

Closing the door, I leaned against it and released a long breath; that was close. Too close.

I’d barely been around Kit for twelve hours and I was already getting silly notions in my head that I could kiss him? I’d obviously confused our intimacy over the phone for a physical intimacy. Which there wasn’t.

Obviously.

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eli-logan-tx · 7 years

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booksummarieswithkatz · 7 years

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Ribbed For Her Pleasure by Miranda Martin

Okay, terms to know can be found here.

Now that that’s out of the way let’s get on with the story. Also I did not look up any of the characters’ names. So whatever. Also, so little happens of importance that this summary is hella short.

This book takes place in the present day, and begins with our leading lady, Female Stereotype, returning from generic Gamecon with her cat and getting ready to do a "just got back" vlog when she decides to check twitter. It turns out that some person who doesn't matter tweeted at her to take the "Celestial Mates Challenge" and get matched with her perfect alien dreamboat. Female decides that her extra "protective" fanboys would think this stunt is hilarious, and signs up. The only problem is that the app is actually a consent form created by a magical cherub who is abusing his power to timetravel for supposedly noble causes, and he needs her... for some reason?

So anyways she downloads the app and starts a vlog about how she's doing the challenge when SHABAM a tiny floating dwarf appears in her room... while she's changing. She's all like "WTF" and he's all like "no time to explain" and grabs her charizard plushie before saying "oh you are gonna love this," and poofs her away.

She appears in the air on a seemingly deserted planet. Directly above the ocean. After taking a nice bath in frigid seawater, she drags herself to shore only to see the tiny dwarf poof in again to drop a seven foot tall dragon man down into the water beside her. The dragon man is very confused, and in his strange lizard speak berates the dwarf. The dwarf just goes "ok love you bye" and vanishes, leaving two sopping wet people who don't speak the same language on an alien world with no supplies. Kind of a dick move.

So the dragon man freaks out because he's from a desert planet and the largest amount of water he's seen in one place before being dropped in the ocean was a punch bowl, and Female Stereotype freaks out because she's alone with an irritable dragon man, but they find a cave to dry off in and start a fire while trying to figure out how they were going to find any goddamn food. But it's okay, because the magic Peter Dinklage shows up like "oh shit I forgot" and throws a bunch of cocaine in their faces so they can understand each other.

It turns out that the dragon guy's name is actually Ribbed Dick, and now that they aren't dying of hypothermia they realize that omg this person is H O T. So they start getting really weird and awkward because they're both really horny and Peter Dinklage, who is watching all of this, is like "no why aren't you fucking!?" So he decides to spice shit up with the justification of "gamers love adventure" and "dragons are generically strong and heroic" and "women like to fuck violent hypermasculine dragons, right?" and he summons a flock of velociraptors (the jurassic park kind, not the actually chicken-sized version) to attack them.

After a brief scuffle of Female Stereotype screaming and Ribbed Dick choking out dinosaurs like a boss, they realize that since they're probably going to die they actually love each other. Then they fuck. In that cave. Surrounded by dead velociraptors and viscera. As one does.

After discovering the delightful nature of Ribbed Dick’s two (yes two) ribbed dicks, the couple promptly shrivel up and attempt flaccid conversation in a feedback loop of “was it bad for him? Is that why he’s so quiet? Was it good for her? She keeps glancing at me nervously” until finally Tyrion Lannister shows up and says all of the shit that’s in their heads (cuz stalking wasn’t enough we had to add mind-reading voyeurism). Ribbed and Female realize that they are both idiots and decide that the best course of action is to just fuck again, but this time they find a beautiful nearby forest so they can have real scenic artsy sex like a high-budget porno. As one does.

So they tucker themselves out with the twin-dick tango and wake up - surprise - in Ribbed Dick’s bed, in Ribbed Dick’s house, on Ribbed Dick’s planet. Female Stereotype decides (logically for once) that Ribbed Dick may actually be in league with Tyrion Dinklage, though her presumption of villainy is kinda farfetched. Ribbed Dick wins her over with the argument of “but we made such sweet love and I’m hot, and you’re hot, and this desert planet is hot, and really if you leave me you are going to be surrounded by dragon people who have never seen a human before and you’ll probably die because we’re actually a slave race and they’ll think you’re a spy.” Female realizes that he’s right, they are super in love, and sure her cat has been left alone for way too long and there’s like no water here on this godforsaken planet, but goddamn is the sex awesome and that’s what really matters here. LoveSex

So they resolve their differences with tonsil hockey and then Ribbed is just like “remember how I said that everyone would probably kill you as a spy, but let’s go for a walk and I’ll show you my home.” What a great fucking idea. Lo and behold, the other locals actually bring them before the council of elders to be judged as a traitor and a spy.

But everything is okay, because the grand matriach (who is just the oldest woman present) declares that they are in love and everyone can shove it up their asses.

Female Stereotype and Ribbed Dick then head home for a nice hide-the-sausage session, then Deter Pinklage shows up again and (for the fifth time in the book) goes “oh shit i forgot” and throws more cocaine in their faces, declaring that they are now biologically compatible. Somehow. The pair decides to celebrate with more sex, but Pinklage appears again just long enough to throw her cat at her. The End.

“But wait!” You say, “why did magic Tyrion need the two to get dirty anyways? Why was his time bullshit important? WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT?!” Well, fucking was the point but, if you insist, it’s because apparently, in the future the entire dragon race is eliminated by a horrible plague, but introducing a single human (and forcing her to be biologically compatible with them) into the genepool at that exact moment with that exact dragon would disseminate an immunity to the entire population (or at least enough for the race to survive). So, I guess, bully for modern science?

#Ribbed for her pleasure #Miranda Martin #book summary #trash #celestial mates

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etaylormedia-blog · 8 years

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TV Drama Scene Analysis - Game of Thrones - Tyrion’s Trial and Speech

This scene takes place at the conclusion of Episode 6 of the Fourth Season of Game of Thrones, HBO’s critically-acclaimed Drama/Fantasy series. For contextual purposes, the character of Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) is on trial after being accused of the murder of the former King, Joffrey Baratheon. Throughout the trial, Tyrion is interrogated by his father Tywin (Charles Dance), while various witnesses are called to make testimonies on both sides of the trial. This scene picks up as Tyrion is slowly beginning to realise that the trial is fixed to make him be found guilty, and he has an outburst in anger at the corruption in the trial.

Much of the focus throughout the scene is on Tyrion, and he has the most screen-time of any other character in the scene, showing that it is from his ‘perspective’ that the scene is playing out. For much of the scene, we are given a mid-shot of Tyrion, which also acts as a shallow focus shot; not only is the shot framed from Tyrion’s chest upwards, but we can also see the peasants who are acting as the trial’s jury in the background, even though they are out of focus. As Tyrion tries in vain to justify himself, we are given more shallow focus shots, which also act as reaction shots showing some of the other important characters in the room, who have non-speaking parts in this scene, such as Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) and Margaery Tyrell (Natalie Dormer). We are shown both of their characters, but also see some less important characters sat alongside them, out of focus.

Another of the reaction shots to Tyrion’s speech also acts as a low-angle shot, as we are shown Tywin sat on the Iron Throne, framing him to clearly be the one with all the power and leverage in the scene. As Tyrion realises his pleas are futile, he reluctantly announces that he “wishes to confess”. At this statement, we are given a mid-shot of Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau)’s shocked reaction, another important character who serves a non-speaking role in the scene.

Tyrion then turns to jury behind him, stating that he saved them and the city, but in hindsight should have let them all be killed (this is in reference to the climactic battle of Season 2). As the jury begin to speak up in uproar, we are given an impressive master shot of the room, showing Tywin and the judges sat at the front of the room, Tywin framed by the Iron Throne, with Tyrion stood facing him, back to the camera, while the two rows of the jury sit either side.

As Tyrion goes on, announcing that he is guilty, while still not actually naming the crime he’s guilty of, we are given a shot-reverse-shot as Tywin demands that Tyrion verbally confess to poisoning the King. We are then given a variation of a tracking shot, as the camera moves backwards to follow Tyrion advancing towards the front of the room, claiming that what he’s guilty of is simply “being a dwarf”, something he claims to have been “on trial for his entire life”.

Tyrion then claims he “did not kill Joffrey but wishes he had”, as it would have given him great pleasure. We are then given an over-the-shoulder shot as Tyrion turns back towards the jury, claiming that he wishes he was the monster they all believe him to be. At this point, as Tyrion clearly begins to snap under the pressure of the trial, the soundtrack, which has been purely diegetic up until this point, begins to pick up, giving us a slow, melodramatic, orchestral tune. The over-the-shoulder shot, which is now also acting as a shallow focus as we can see Tywin and the judges in the background, continues, as Tyrion claims he wishes he had enough poison for everyone in the room. We then revert back to the master shot as Tywin stands from the Iron Throne, ordering his guards to have Tyrion removed from the room.

As Tyrion turns back to Tywin, saying he knows the trial is unjust and thus demanding a trial by combat, Tywin is again framed via a low-angle shot, showing that, although Tyrion currently has the spotlight, Tywin is still the one in power. We are then given reaction shots of much of the aforementioned non-speaking roles, Cersei, Margaery, Jaime, as well as Prince Oberyn Martell (Pedro Pascal). The music picks up now, drowning out the sound of the shocked jury talking amongst themselves, as the camera gives us a combination of shot-reverse-shot and zoom, as Tyrion and Tywin stare hatefully at each other.

In terms of the behind the scenes aspects of this clip, such as the editing and mise-en-scene, the time between takes in the editing is fairly long, as this is a scene focused far more on the war of words rather than the literal war. Most of the mise-en-scene is simply constructed, with the location and costumes being fairly typical of this sort of ‘medieval fantasy’ type project.

The location is what may come to mind when thinking of a throne room, it’s a large room that is decorated with various types of memorabilia on the walls, with the large throne at the head. The costumes vary, with the royal Lannister and Tyrell family characters dressed in robes and dresses, while the peasants in the jury are dressed in dirty and dull coloured clothes. However, it is also interesting to note that this is one of few projects, film or television based, that puts a character with a clear physical disability or ‘handicap’ at the forefront of the action, both literal action as well as metaphorical.

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