#they go to ikea

[bunnyspine]

This is old!!

For some reason I never posted it here?

[ratohet]

Mallard McQuack fam I miss you

[elven-butts]

death to the jury and cha cha cha mfs 🔥💚🔥💚🔥💚

[kxowledge]

kitchen equipment: a guide

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

what if they were funny little aliens ...

original by lilaliens4ever on twitter !

also the bit of concept art i took the sasha dialogue from . hes in autism heaven

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Of all the theories as to how Carmilla and her daughters found eachother in Hell (adoption, reuniting after they died, one or all three being Hellborn, ect;), I think my personal favorite is the one where Carmilla was either pregnant when she died or later gave birth to a child she miscarried when she was alive.

But whether or not that’s true, one of my favorite crack theories/headcanons about Carmilla being pregnant in Hell is how absolutely weird the other Overlords would be about it- because let’s be real, they would absolutely be weird about it. Maybe supportive and weird, but weird.

Zestial, nervously following Carmilla around: My darling. My own heart. I beg of thou, please, for just a moment.

Carmilla, still stubbornly walking around in her ridiculously sharp shoes: I’M FINE.

Zestial, who’s been trying to get her to sit down or at least change her shoes for over an hour: 0,_0

Rosie, crouched at her side with a glass of something red and questionable: I’m telling you, honey, just try this. It’ll cure that morning sickness in a jiffy.

Carmilla, curled up on her bathroom floor: …it disturbs me that I’m nauseous enough to actually be considering this.

Zestial comes to her rescue and shoos Rosie out to go make her some (GINGER) tea before Carmilla can do something she’ll regret.

Alastor, gazing suspiciously: Why on earth is your abdomen moving like that? Is something trying to break out?

Carmilla, too exhausted to deal with this: That movement is my baby kicking, Alastor.

Alastor: Pardon? You mean to tell me that one can see that on the outside? Eugh.

Carmilla, glaring at him: You are so lucky you’re not worth getting up for.

- Rosie insists on throwing her a baby shower. Vox and Alastor get kicked out for fighting and are forced to put together the IKEA furniture for the nursery as punishment.

- I seriously doubt this lot can build and work an ultrasound machine, so something like this is likely.

Carmilla, slowly coming to after giving birth: Mmmh…?

Rosie, happily bouncing one baby in her arms: Oh good, she’s up! Congratulations, sweetie. You have two beautiful daughters 🥰

Carmilla: ….

Zestial, who’s gently cradling the other: Carmilla…? Is something the matter?

Carmilla: …there’s really two of them. I thought I was hallucinating.

BONUS:

Fun fact- some scientists say cats have sensitive enough hearing that they can hear babies’ heartbeats within their mother’s bodies.

Husk, staring at Carmilla:

Carmilla, who’s still processing that she’s pregnant and hasn’t begun telling anyone else: …is something wrong?

Husk, ears bristling slightly: h o w m a n y h e a r t s d o y o u h a v e ?

[mamawasatesttube]

anyways. i think cassie needs to text tim having a minor meltdown in an ikea restroom because cissie asked her to come shopping for her new apartment with her and then looked at a bed and fluttered her eyelashes and asked if cassie would be down to come over and help her assemble furniture later. and cassie had a moment of butch euphoria so hard she panicked and ran to the restroom instead of actually answering.

tim, uniquely unhelpful: ??? ikea furniture isn't even that durable or heavy. you should take her to an actual home furnishings store and get some solid wood stuff instead of particle board. do you want a gift card i can get you one. there's a furniture outlet 3.6 miles from the ikea where you are. i feel like she'd appreciate an actual hardwood bed more, it can withstand way more of a beating cassie: UOU CANT JUST SAY THOSW WRODS TO ME RIGHT NPW????@?@?@@???@?!??!?!?!?!?!?@?#?#?@?

tim is trying so hard to be helpful via simply stating facts about furniture durability and usefulness. he is not being helpful

[can-they-assemble-ikea-furniture]

*If you've only attempted it once (and did it well), and believe you could succeed the next time, select this option

**This could either mean assembled some well and some not-so-well, or assembled it in a flawed but usable manner

***If you've only tried once, failed, and believe you would fail again, still select this option

[jameszmaguire]

Now, good lady, simply turn to your husband. Reach into his robes. No. Higher.

GOOD OMENS 2x02 'The Clue'

[blackbeardsslutstrands]

Rip Ed Teach, you would’ve loved walking around Ikea and having fake arguments in the kitchen rooms :(

[softshuji]

Something about the early stages of a relationship w Rindou where you don't have your own place to live yet, you're still living with ran in their apartment but you're laying down together discussing what you want in your ideal house. He says he wants a studio for music, and a gym for working out, and says he'll make sure he gets you a space for your own things too, a desk or room for drawing/ writing/ making things, and a library for if you like to sit and read, a conservatory because you like to watch the sunrise or sunset or the rain and a nice kitchen for when you like to bake things, a special area of his studio so you can sit with him while he does his thing and it's new and exciting and fresh and it feels like a promise.

[jeanmoreaue]

Kevin Day moodboard bc i can’t stop making these

[plushieanimals]

ikea BLÅHAJ 🦈

[ceilidho]

Unhinged coworker Johnny is delicious and I’m obsessed. Why do I want this problematic man so badly? Every version of Johnny is so hot. He is ruining my LIFE

I know :\\\ it snuck up and bludgeoned me over the head lmao there’s something I love about making Johnny completely insane

Also for a little twist of Ghost, I said this to @ohbo-ohno in DMs, but Ghost is the type of assistant manager to find out that Johnny made a peep hole into the woman’s washroom to watch his girl at all times and goes “disgusting mutt” before using it himself :\\

[osseincactus]

Okay @sp1derc1der I know it isn't exactly what you said, but I spent all day at working thinking about them in an Ikea so....

Taking a child (your 40 year old husband) to a furniture store so he can buy a stuffed plushie of a sea animal <3

[enden-k]

they finally released an aki figure from jail and i immediately grabbed my boy (and a miku ofc) and in the next store i saw this gorgeous gorgeous oberon i HAD to take w me too and now aki looks like hes dying inside, paling to oberon and miku just posing majestically im.