#they made a point of that in the text to indicate why its bad. because a leader shouldn't be an object of fear

[llycaons]

I'm trying not to vague posts I disagree with anymore so this is the last one I promise but I really don't think it's very impressive for a leader to terrify everyone around them and I don't think its anything to be proud of either

[ode2rin]

new boyfriend rin would never ever, under any circumstance, admit that he likes the pet names you call him. well… unless you would stop doing it. (also me pushing the bffs to lovers pipeline)

You must be upset with him, Rin is convinced so. It’s the only logical and sensible explanation behind this unusual behavior. 

And he's going mad about it. Itoshi Rin is going mad any second now if he can't get to the bottom of this, he’s certainly convinced.

Every instinct screamed that your recent behavior was a reaction to something he'd done, but what? Was it the late replies to your text messages? No, you knew he was at practice and you told him you didn’t mind. Was it about the souvenir he brought back home to you from Paris? Sure, you teased him about its impracticality, but nothing that warranted this icy distance.

Or maybe it was something he said now? It must be, right? Everything boils down to his reckless poor choice of words, he supposes.

Slowly, Rin approached you by the couch you’re seated in. With your attention preoccupied by the selection of shows you’re browsing, you settled on looking at him briefly through your peripheral vision. Amused by how he’s slightly tiptoeing around, you let out a half-suppressed laugh to yourself. 

He looks like a cat sometimes, you thought from the sight. And acts like one too. Like a big black cat who would hiss at you if you looked at him funny, or one that would bite your hand if you stopped petting him to sleep. Funny how Rin could be like that too.

The moment Rin settles into the plush comfort of the couch, he gazes at you through lowered lashes, trying to read the play of emotions on your face, if there’s any. 

There’s nothing worth noting, and he doesn’t know if that should assure or bother him.

“Are we… alright?” he drawled.

What the fuck. He did not just sound like that. 

He did not just ask that and sounded like an anxious pathetic wet cat who just had a new home waiting for its owner’s permission over anything (highly specific because he’s a bit dramatic). Just what kind of loser have you reduced him into, really.

Oblivious of the internal turmoil in Rin’s mind, you turn to him, “Hmm? Yeah? Why’d you ask?”

“Nothing,” he grumbled. It’s enough that he already humiliated himself for the way he asked if the two of you were cool— doing it again by exposing himself that he thinks you’re mad plainly because he hadn’t heard you call him a pet name (like you always do) would be mortification in its final form.

“Okay, Rin.”

That’s it. This needs to end. Forget humiliation. He would rather choose to feel pathetic over any day than continue with this charade.

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Why would you think that?” you asked back instantly, shocked and extremely confused because of your boyfriend’s question. You’re literally just looking for a movie the two of you can watch— how is that any indication of being mad at him?

“Just answer the question,” he fumed, impatience settling on the furrow of his brows.

You said in the beginning of your relationship that you didn’t appreciate the silent treatment and guessing games, so don’t you think it’s hypocritical of you to do the same to him? (You’re not, but he just doesn’t know that.)

“I’m not mad at you, Rin.”

“You so are!” 

“I am not! But you, yelling and instigating it are making me right now!” you countered, voice hinted with irritation, “What is your problem, Rin?”

There it is again. Rin rose from the couch to face your sitting form, as if standing would better prove his point. “See? You’re calling me Rin!” he blurted.

“Well, maybe because it’s your name?!”

“Not to you, it’s not!”

A beat of surprised silence. Until your lips grew to such a wide smile that made Rin physically feel his heart melting. 

Yet, in Rin’s true fashion, he’ll never let you know how much air you knock out of him because of your beaming smile. Instead, he’ll say something along the snarky lines of, “Stop smiling like that.”

“Did my big bad grumpy Rinnie here thought we’re on a fight because I hadn’t call him baby?” you ask, purposely stressing out the words to disarm him more.

With a feigned exasperation, he comments, “I forgot how annoying you are.” 

“And I forgot how childish you can get sometimes,” you countered.

“I’m not childish.”

“You don’t mind me calling you Rin then?”

Rin rolled his eyes at you, but you know better than to put meaning to it. He lowered himself onto the couch beside you. With a swift tug, Rin pulled you closer, closing the distance between you effortlessly. His arm found its way around your waist, drawing you snugly against his chest.

“But I don’t see why you need to…” Maybe he could be a bit childish.

“I thought you didn’t like it,” you shyly muttered, drawing shapes in his arm. “The pet names, I mean,” you clarified, sensing the confused look he’s probably giving you behind.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He is baby. He is Rinnie. Fucking hell, that’s so loser of him to even voice it out in his own mind. 

“What? You call me by my name!” you defensively pointed out.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like your nicknames of me,” he mumbled, the words barely audible.

The pet names— they were more than what they served. It was important to him more than what he would admit. 

They were a secret language, a way you marked him as yours. A reminder that he wasn't just Rin anymore— just your friend.

He was now something more, something special.

A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Besides… I love your name,” he whispered, his voice velvet against your hair.

It’s tender— no, it makes him tender. Saying your name has been the softest, kindest, and most tender way he’s used his words for. 

Maybe it’s a little pathetic, feeling this undone by a name. But then it’s you. 

It was your name— a name he could whisper with adoration, a name that belonged only to him to claim. 

You melt to his words, leaning deeper into his chest. A contented sigh escaped your lips, the sound swallowed by the warmth of his embrace.

Looking up at him, your eyes held a softness he often found himself getting lost in, “I love your name too, but I also like calling you pet names. Is it okay?”

“Whatever you decide.” He’s yours, either way.

note. this is basically rin being "my nameeee is whatever you decideeeee and i'm just gonna call you mineeee i'm insane but i'm your baby!!!!" yeah that song basically.

[stardustizuku]

So, I’m not gonna tag this. Mostly because I don’t want to blow this more out of proportion than it was.

For starters and some context, I am Latina. I am not considered white by the standards of the country I’m living in. But I am considered white in the country I’m from. So I am acutely aware of how racism diverts itself from culture to culture. What you consider the “other” varies from the culture you are speaking from.

I have stated, I am not Asian. The context of what I know, entails as racism in Japan and how it presents its extremely limited. I have read books, watched documentaries, done research but it’s not empirical and that’s something that drastically changes the quality of information I could give.

We have three ways of framing any given analysis of racism - one, using my cultural context of dissecting the “other” (which would consider religious background, skin color and class). Two, the cultural context of the author’s background, in this case Japan’s (which would consider skin color and nationality). And three and my least favorite, American cultural context, which places an uncomfortable amount of emphasis on skin color.

The reason I don’t like talking about a piece of media through the lenses of American Cultural Context is because that on itself is a form of American Imperialism (from my humble point of view as a Latina who suffered from American Imperialism).

It’s a way for Americans to position their own racism problems in the center of the conversation. Forcing everyone to comply to what their idea of “white” and “black” means.

And unfortunately, for everyone here involved, that’s the lense through which half this site uses as a default.

So you would understand my exasperation, when I see someone: not explain the cultural context through which they’re analyzing racism, explain little to nothing abt said cultural context, and ranting off more about the morality of the text than actually discuss any of these points with any nuance.

In my mind, I have my own cultural background at the forefront. Unfortunately, I have the American cultural background jammed in the back of my mind too. And suddenly you insert the Japanese cultural background handfisted in with the grace of a red eyed bull in a glass shop.

I get fed up, I don’t understand what’s going on, I make an untagged post criticizing the PERSON’s analysis skills (which I’m sorry if I’m mean, but it sorta is bad).

I never said or implied “this work of fiction doesn’t contain problems”, I just said I wished the people who criticized it had the skills to properly explain their point.

Which, by the way, part of that writing skills needed is understanding that your interpretation is not gospel.

Cause like, I had a COMPLETELY different interpretation on Lanzenave. And the country to me, has never come across as a villain.

Like, let’s look for a second MY cultural context, and you’ll understand why I was very confused by the original post.

I genuinely 100% thought Lanzanavians were being portrayed as the GOOD guys.

For starters, the “dark-skinned” comment comes in Part 5 Volume 5 where it comes from being compared to royalty - which may I remind you WE HATE. Like at this point the Royals have been portrayed as incompetent buffoons who have done nothing more than fuck up their country.

To me, this was less of an indicator of racial profiling, and more of “they are different from the awful royals”.

Which, in my mind, made them better.

A way to say, whatever crimes the royal family has committed, it bears nothing of the actual intentions and wants of Lanzenavians.

Thing that is sorta supported by the rest of the narrative.

Lanzenave was once a country with no King. Then a King came from a magical place across the sea. But as he became more and more useless, they decided to send him back.

It looked, to me, like Lanzenave was a colonized country, that used their King’s greed to get rid of him. It’s stated that many people who came from Lanzenave weren’t just ‘natives’, but nobles.

In my country we have a term “malinche” which refers to anyone who thinks “first world countries” are better than your homeland. A cheap attempt to replicate it and discard your country for the sake of false status - is considered a laughing stock.

Which makes obvious why, the way I interpret it, people who wanted to leave Lanzenave for Yurgenschmidt never registered as actual Lanzenavians. To me they were malinches. Actual Lanzenavians were those who stayed in their country, those who embraced technology and rejected mana and feystones.

In my eyes, Lanzenavians were always smart, hardworking people being exploited and colonized. Who managed to expel the poison. The closing of the gate to Yurgenschmidt wasn’t a punishment. It was freedom. A guarantee that their colonizers wouldn’t return.

The people who invaded, were always that. Colonizers. Nobles. Rich people who think they’re better than poor people.

To me this was Latinoamerican culture in a nutshell. A place where, where you consider yourself to be from, carries way more meaning than skin color or appearance. If you say you’re Mexican, you are Mexican. It doesn’t matter what you look like. But if you renounce your heritage and call yourself “American”, you get mockery and contempt. Cause Americans won’t take you in, they don’t think you are part of them. But you’d rather not be a part of them, than be a part of us? Then follow their rules, and whatever punishment follows - it’s rightfully deserved.

So you would imagine my surprise, when I see someone with a different perspective. Noting something true that I hadn’t realized - this is a Japanese story. Applying the lenses of your own cultural context isn’t how the story is meant to be interpreted.

But instead of anything productive to be had in a conversation, I’m met with…well. People picking a fight.

They genuinely don’t consider or want, to be honest, any sort of different perspective. What they want is to complaint.

They’re Angry that some of us enjoy the story. That we have different things to enjoy out of a story. That we aren’t focusing enough on the problematic aspects of the text. Reading untagged posts and forming a convoluted opinion off two or three sentences I make. Going into huge tangents that completely miss the point.

I think it’s important, if you wanna actually talk instead of throwing buzzwords around, to lay groundwork of what want.

Again, I’m not criticizing wanting to discuss the issues of racism and xenophobia that exist - but I am sorta criticizing your ability to convey a message.

I’m not saying AoB is particularly progressive. But the books do criticize royalty, generational power, the patriarchy and systems that oppress women, the Sakoku Period, inequality in education, restriction of information and censorship…which are issues that I very rarely see tackled in this G E N R E (bcs obv if you switch to other genres and books you will find it. But shoujo isekais that talk abt royalty are rarely ballsy enough to directly criticize the power fantasy they’re writing for young women).

This is honestly a very toxic mentality. I made this for the few ppl who might be following this thing - to me Lanzenavians were always very cool.

[praetorqueenreyna]

For our little ACOTAR gift exchange! This is a gift fic for @taymartiart, who is one of the BEST artists I've ever met! When asked what she wanted me to write, she said "accidental dick pic." This was so much fun, I love silly modern AUs! Enjoy!

Read here on AO3, or continue reading below:

Rhysand was about ready to silence his phone for the evening. It had been pinging non-stop as war raged on in the group chat. It had started with Mor saying she was craving a sparkling water, and Cassian replying to ask why she liked drinking raw sewage. That had been two hours ago, long past the point that Rhysand thought it was funny. He had also found Amren’s threat to murder Cassian by replacing his blood with sparkling water a little alarming.

There were a few minutes of peace where his phone made no noise at all. The reprieve was interrupted by a lone ding. Rhysand sighed, fully expecting the barrage to begin once again. When it didn’t, he risked actually checking his phone. The text was not from the group chat (ironically named “The Inner Circle” after Mor got way too into mafia movies, and Rhysand didn’t know how to change it), but was from Tamlin. It was a welcome distraction. Tamlin was a little weird, but Rhysand liked him. They had both started off as their fathers’ proteges, expected to take on the family business. Rhysand had fulfilled his end of the bargain, and Tamlin had run off to play guitar in coffee shops around town. An absolutely ridiculous career move, but it was endearing, in its own way.

It didn’t hurt that Tamlin was super hot and also into guys. Rhysand wasn’t too proud to admit that. He had tested the waters, putting on his most seductive voice to tease Tamlin, always just on the edge of outright flirtation. Every time, Tamlin turned a splotchy red and adorably ducked his head, which only made Rhysand want to do it again.

There was no text preview for the message; it only had an attached image. Rhysand opened it and blinked. He had worked a long day, and surely he was hallucinating. Staring at his phone didn’t change anything, and he finally accepted that Tamlin had sent him a picture of his dick.

It was nice, both the dick itself and the picture. Good size, good lighting, good angle. The photo captured his well-defined abs and a small tattoo on his hip bone. Rhysand zoomed in on the picture to see that the tattoo was a name. Alex, maybe? Or Alec? He had no idea why Tamlin had sent him this. The last text exchanged between them was from a week ago, when Rhysand had asked if he was playing this weekend. Nothing to indicate that the next step would be dick pics.

More curious than upset, Rhysand quickly typed out a message.

”Nice tattoo. Ex boyfriend?”

Tamlin began replying right away, in a series of rapid fire messages.

”What?”

“Oh.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh no no no no no.”

“I am SO sorry!!!! I didn’t mean to send that to you!!! I’d never do something like that!!!”

The overuse of exclamation points aside, Rhysand felt bad for him.

”It’s all good, I swear. Not the first dick I’ve seen.”

The reply was instantaneous.

”Oh good!! Not that you’ve seen dicks, that you’re not mad. I’m really sorry.

He probably could have ended it there, but Rhysand was intrigued.

”Who was it for?”

Tamlin didn’t respond for a bit, and Rhysand worried he had overstepped. It was an unexpected relief when another message came in.

”Some guy from Grindr. A friend signed me up for it because I haven’t gone on a date in a while. His name also begins with an R.”

The thought of Tamlin and his awkward demeanor cruising on Grindr was honestly hilarious. This friend had to have been fucking with him. Then again, he never would have expected Tamlin to send a dick pic to a random guy on a dating app, and here they were.

”Already at the dick pic stage? Seems like it's getting serious.”

This time, the reply was faster.

”Ha ha. I actually haven’t even met him yet. We were just talking and he asked for a picture. I’ve never done that before and thought what the hell. And then immediately fucked it up.”

Tamlin was way too sweet and sincere for the guys on Grindr. Thinking fast, Rhysand searched for and downloaded a photo of the Washington Monument. Before he could let Tamlin stew in his self pity for too long, he sent:

”We’ve all fucked up. I’ll send you a pic too, so we’re even.”

He attached the downloaded photo, only thinking to question the joke after he had sent it. It was familiar, bordering on flirtatious. The kind of thing he’d usually only send to Azriel or Cassian. His phone pinged.

”No wonder your ego is huge.”

Another text came in, this time a photo of a male mallard with the title “duck pic.” Rhysand actually laughed. He shot back something about the head of the duck being bright green, and maybe he should get that looked at. Tamlin coyly asked if he knew any good doctors. Holy shit, was Tamlin hitting on him? He knew that Rhysand was a doctor; more accurately a surgeon, working in his father’s clinic.

Rhysand found himself draped over the couch, texting with Tamlin for over an hour. The mortifying start to their conversation seemed to loosen something in him. He was funnier and more charming than Rhysand had ever seen. It felt special, to have Tamlin be so open with him. The thought of Tamlin being like this with “random guy from Grindr who’s name begins with R” filled Rhysand with a seething hot emotion that he eventually identified as jealousy.

When the conversation seemed like it was drifting to an end, Rhysand made his move. He selected one of his own pictures from a hidden folder on his phone (yes he had his own dick pics saved for occasions like this) and sent it. He waited a few seconds, then wrote:

”If you want to keep going, give me a call.”

The urge to throw his phone across the room overwhelmed him. He resorted to putting it face down on the coffee table and staring pointedly at the ceiling. The next minute was the longest of his life. But then, like a miracle, his phone began to ring.

*****************************

One month later

“You owe me a thank you drink.”

“What did you do now?” Tamlin asked, only giving half of his attention to the giant man sitting on the floor. His roommate was supposed to be helping him set up, which mostly just involved finding a stool for Tamlin to sit on. Mission accomplished, Andras sat back on his hands, watching as Tamlin fiddled with his guitar. The coffee shop was almost empty, but it would start to fill up as Tamlin’s set started. He was a regular here.

“Don’t try that innocent act on me, I know all your secrets.” Andras pointed an accusing finger. “You found a hookup on Grindr. You’re welcome.”

“What? No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did. I know all the signs. Lucien and I barely see you anymore, you haven’t brooded in weeks, and I found this in your backpack.” For his final exhibit, Andras brandished a small foil packet that revealed itself to be a condom when he stopped shaking it around.

“Stop that!” Blushing, Tamlin snatched the condom out of Andras’s hand. “Why were you going through my backpack anyway?”

“Don’t change the subject. Who is it? That guy with the blue hair? What was his name, Ryan?”

“What are you guys talking about?” Tamlin’s second roommate, Lucien, asked, appearing as if summoned by an omniscient being that wanted to ruin Tamlin’s life.

“Tamlin’s new boy toy,” Andras answered before Tamlin could.

“Ooooooh. Is it that guy with the septum piercing? Rowan?”

Tamlin was about to tell them that he was moving out and they were never allowed to talk to him again when his gaze caught a familiar dark-haired figure swagger into the coffee shop. His heart stuttered, his breath caught in his throat. Rhys sat down at a table near his little stage, leaning back in the seat. He saw Tamlin staring and grinned, waggling his fingers obnoxiously in greeting.

Of course, Rhys had known where he was going. Tamlin had come here straight from Rhys’s apartment, having barely escaped from the lean arms that had grabbed at him, inviting him back into the comforting warmth of Rhys’s bed. Tamlin just hadn’t thought that Rhys would actually show up.

Too late, he remembered that he was in public, being scrutinized by the two people who knew him better than they knew themselves. He watched in horror as Andras and Lucien looked back and forth between Tamlin and Rhysand. Recognition dawned on their faces. At the same time, they said,

“No fucking way.”

[transhawks]

A Thin Veneer: BNHA 374

As dedicated readers of BNHA and meta for BNHA meta would know, the way characters drawn and depicted, the way certain scenes are framed, all of that is crucial to points Horikoshi makes about his characters, the plot, and the themes he wants to convey. Something to note is expression and how people are drawn. On the subject of Hawks, we know from in-text reactions to him that he is seen as conventionally attractive, and typically has a cheeky or happy-nature in his expressions. It's alone or in tense movements that we see something else.

What we do have is faces that break the Uncanny valley, like the famous image pre-"attacking" Best Jeanist, or getting confirmation about the raid where he very much show-cased his heteromorphic side, or the frightening image of him from Jin's pov as he was shrouded in shadows and looked very much like a predator.

What's consistent in these images is 1. Hawks was in control at of himself when he makes those faces 2. They usually don't *take* away from him in terms of find him "palatable" even if he's frightening. And there's a point to this.

Hawks isn't unflappable; there are plenty of moments where he loses his facade and cool, and we can argue those faces were truer to his inner nature than the bubbly cheeky personality he puts on a lot of the time.

But facially, it's interesting that he was so solemn as a child, and when alone and comfortable with himself, he seems to be mostly blank-faced and not very expressive. Perhaps that is the "default" Keigo.

Why all of this talk of faces and how Hawks is drawn? Because with 374, something has changed, and it means something very heavy is coming up with Hawks in the future.

First off, let's read about a certain trope

If a character is deranged or has just lost it for a moment, one eye is drawn as being very different than the other. Commonly, the Mad Eye (or its iris/pupil) is much larger than the other. Can also double as an unspoken Oh, Crap! moment. For extra effect, may be paired with Twitchy Eye.

Consistently, Dabi has been shown to be drawn with this trope time and time again. It's featured in promo art, in his battles, and this example up top. Dabi is clearly mentally unstable, openly and not unlike his friend Twice. The "Mad Eye" trope is meant to be a visual indicator of mentally instability. There's nary been a time where we've seen Hawks drawn like this. Even when he was drawn smirking before "killing" Best Jeanist, the eyes were the same.

It's interesting that his expression and eyes were relatively stable through out the process leading up to killing Bubaigawara Jin. But in the same panel where he kills him (right in the image above), half his face is obscured. Still, there's still an element of control here. I, and many other meta writers, have written about how control is a specific element in Hawks's character. His skill is in his technique, where he lacks in pure power, his skill in using his quirk in extremely adaptable and creative ways shows that he has an intense amount of control over it. And essentially his quirk is in that - controlling feathers do the various things they're capable of (sensors, listening devices, controlling their movements, flexibility, hardness, etc).

When being in control is so crucial to Hawks's quirk functioning, and being out of control so crucial to his narrative (the frequent caged bird references), it's interesting that most of the time Keigo is control of himself, even if he isn't in control of his circumstances. It's what made the HPSC make him a spy and what makes him, in my opinion, an interesting character.

By interesting, I don't mean "good" or "bad", moral or immoral or amoral, etc. I mean interesting in that he's complex and there's still mystery to him. It's very hard to understand Hawks because Keigo's story and personality are layered and presented to us in a way that it's difficult to get a full picture.

So what do we see in this chapter?

Keigo losing control.

He's been remarkably poised this war arc. He started by immediately trying to assassinate AFO without hesitation: While he's had emotional moments, one of the most striking things is that in earlier chapters against AFO, he's been repeating something that shows where his mindset is:

This whole fight Hawks has been telling Endeavor to keep a cool head, to not be provoked, to regain control of himself. He also keeps trying to play the circumstances - delaying so heavy-hitters like Enji can get a shot in, making sure everything it together.

Something else to notice is Hawks is wounded over the left side of his wave, and there's blood drying over his eye. However, there are numerous pictures of him in this state where his eyes are open at the same time or half-closed and there's no indication that he can open more than other.

As you can see here, this is Hawks with the blood over his eye in various expressions. Even when stressed, his expression never gives us indications of the "going mad" trope as the most recent chapter does. Thus, whatever is going on cannot be explained as due to his wound - it hasn't been shown before.

Why make so much of a single panel?

Because it's important.

We have Hawks, known for being very in control of himself and who tries to be in control of situations around him, and we have heavy build up by Hawks being the one to remind Endeavor to not lose it.

And yet....

This is not like anything we've seen from him so far. The mere sight of Twice alive again, the knowledge that what he did was for naught, heck, All For One is provoking him just on that basis:

"Time to learn how it might have turned out if you hadn't made his death your top priority back then."

Hawks's extrajudicial assassination of Twice became a viral moment, and don't forget it was drawn that way in the same time Japan had started undergoing protests for police brutality in 2020 due to viral videos of local beatings going viral amongst Japanese social media and twitter. Hawks has had to face immense scrutiny and criticism over his choice to kill Twice for the past few months, and his reaction to it has been to publicly apologize that he couldn't find another way to deal with him and to privately tell Best Jeanist that he admired the person he killed and wishes to be like him.

There's been no real show of regret, no reflection. And suddenly, with the appearance of Twice once more, we see a crack in this veneer:

Hawks's first words at the sight of the man he killed is to scream that the clones have to be killed immediately. Hawks's first expression at sight of Twice is one not of collected focus, nor even his usual anger or frustration.

He's drawn as if he's fucking crazy.

Horikoshi doesn't do panels like this for nothing. The way the panel beautifully lines up with one of Dabi's back covers, and the fact it's the first time Hawks has been drawn with the "mad eyes" trope is significant. It's showing us that Hawks, for the first time that we know of, is losing control of himself. And for a character whose narrative has been about controlling what people think and know about himself (and letting others do that for him), that's elemental to breaking down all we know of him.

This panel promises to show us another side of Hawks, a side he cannot hide away, or charm and joke his way out of. Naked, raw, and with no ulterior motives to control the situation, this face promises that we might finally hear what Hawks thinks of his actions and the reaction to them.

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

Susan Kay's 'Phantom' Read: Part I (Madeleine)

I'm gonna start by voicing a deep dislike and annoyance for the endorsements on the back.

"Adds new depth and perspective, moving well beyond the familiar bounds of the story..." -- Publisher's Weekly

... No, it doesn't. It offers ONE person's take while actively circumventing, contradicting and ignoring canon. You can't "add new perspective" to someone else's work by making up your own shit. This is nothing more or less than Fanfiction. And Fanfiction is by no means bad, but just because it follows the basic timeline outlined by the original author, that doesn't make it any more legitimate than any other transformative/derivative work just because it's in book form.

Even more aggravating is this, from School Library Journal:

"Phantom of the Opera fans no longer need to ponder what was in Erik's past, as Kay has created one for him in this deeply moving, poignant story . . . This sad, but beautiful, novel will be especially popular with [those] who have enjoyed the current musical."

I hate that this is actively encouraging readers to accept this dross as canon. "No need to draw your own conclusions, just ape off of this author!"

All of my above statements about how THIS IS VERY MUCH NOT CANON AND SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN CONFLATED WITH LEROUX CANON TO THE EXTENT THAT IT WAS stand.

Like whether you enjoy it or not, IT'S NOT CANON.

Anyway, onto 'Madeleine'

My first question is, did Kay name her this so that later, when Erik talks about marrying Christine at the Madeleine Church, she could point back to this and go "Haha! Mommy issues!"?

Now that's aside...

So, I actually liked the writing quite a bit. There are some decently witty phrases here and a few even made me chuckle.

I personally think she spent way more time than she needed to on Madeleine, who is, I won't mince words here, an OC. There's so many details I just don't want or need.

I will be honest, I think Kay did a good job capturing Erik’s troubling characteristics and applying them what he would perhaps have been like as a child.

My biggest problem is the Renesmee of it all.

I dislike the fact that infant Erik is portrayed as having a kind of consciousness. Of course, Madeleine is an unreliable narrator, so it could easily be that she simply projected an unnatural consciousness onto him out of fear, but I somehow doubt that this is what Kay was aiming for. The way she has Madeleine describe Erik as an infant seems to indicate that, from the moment he was born, he has understood himself to be afflicted and different, which I deeply dislike.

It has always seemed to me, that, whatever skills and gifts Erik employed, Leroux's point was that, under it all, he really was nothing more than a man; that, had he been treated with acceptance, he would not have been very different to any other man. No bizarre consciousness bestowed upon him as a curse on his mother for the sin of vanity made Erik into the haunting soul that he is.

And that really does seem to be the implication here, which is a problem for me. Its one thing to write Erik's mother regarding him as a punishment from God, its quite another to actually support that idea in the text by having him develop, not only intellectually, but physically, beyond the bounds of humanity. Crawling at six months, sure. Speaking at six months and walking at 9? No. Absolutely not. We're not doing this.

Even his deformity is treated as something supernatural (which is REALLY annoying, since we know that Leroux prided himself on even his outlandish writing choices being based in reality and accepted medical knowledge of the time. We KNOW he consulted doctors about potential diseases upon which he could base Erik’s disorder (which is likely either congenital syphilis, or Gunther Disease).

Erik became what he was because he was a child like any other and couldn't understand why he was denied the affection and attention he craved as a basic instinct, what nature dictates as natural; denied his first and most basic human right--a mother's love.

It's so much more meaningful and logical that hope should be drained from him gradually as his mother continually rejects the natural order; that he should gradually come to conclude that he is an exception to Nature's established rules, and this then is what drives Erik to build himself into something extraordinary, using the exceptionally favourable gifts he was granted by God and nature.

Now I've heard about what a bitch Madeleine is, but honestly she's not half as bad as what I was expecting (at least from her own narrative). That she takes the trouble to try and educate him herself is interesting to me, but also kind of silly. Kay grants child!Erik an intellect and developmental speed that is "Nothing short of preturnatural". If you're going to treat him like a supernaturally intelligent being then why spend so much real estate on his education?

I'm also not sold on the idea that canon!Erik's mother would ever have put that much effort into fostering his intellect.

But then in my head-canon, Erik's mother put it about that Erik died in the cradle shortly after his birth and kept him hidden for his entire childhood (which frankly, I think, is the more realistic scenario--but then I would, its my headcanon).

Also, you remember when I talked about Kay ignoring and contradicting canon?

Erik has "mis-matched eyes" in this book. That's from the musical. Also he's Christened a "Erik" here (his mother tells the priest to give the baby his own name). Erik isn't actually Erik's birth name in Leroux. It's a name he adopted "By chance" in his adult life.

Overall I found this whole section very tedious, but perhaps the most upsetting thing about it for me was this.

I was told that Erik's mother is a bitch (big surprise, we all knew that).

So I was expecting gross neglect, constant verbal abuse, physical abuse etc.

Well it was surprisingly light on all of that. In fact Madeleine is self-aware enough, with the help of another OC, her friend Marie (who is the only person in this book with any rights, imho) that she's lacking as a mother, and feels guilty about this.

She even ***Spoilers*** comes around to a point where she comes to terms with having Erik for a son... just in time for him to run away after his beloved dog gets killed by a mob of local boys.

What NO ONE MENTIONED and what I found just absolutely, insane, unnecessary, and repugnant, is the treatment of Erik's voice as being inherently sexual from birth.

This excerpt, from page 7, describing Madeleine's first experience of hearing Erik cry as a newborn, sets the tone for the first half of her narrative:

And then he cried! I have no words to describe the first sound of his voice and the extraordinary response it evoked in me. I had always considered the cry of a newborn to be utterly sexless--piercing, irritating, curiously unattractive. But his voice was a strange music that brought tears rushing to my eyes, strangely seducing my body so that my breasts ached with a primitive and overwhelming urge to hold him close.

And is followed by these little gems:

I had begun to be afraid of the manner in which his voice was manipulating me. It seemed evil somehow, almost . . . incestuous.

Whatever spiritual ecstasy Father Mansart derived from those throbbing notes, my response was utterly and unequivocally physical.

The words were for God; but the voice, the exquisite, irresistible voice was for me and it pulled like a magnet somewhere deep and unseen inside my body.

I find these so particularly repugnant because after a little while this fixation with Madeleine sexualizing her son's voice... just stops. It goes nowhere, and there's no real reason given for why it stops being a theme. I'm completely baffled and disturbed as to why this is in here at all, especially because Leroux describes Erik's voice in many ways (angelic, sweet, beautiful, pure, triumphant, powerful, sinister) but he never explicitly attributes sexual attraction to it, even from Christine's perspective. Christine is so viscerally transported by the beauty of his song because it is beautiful music and she's a freak for music, not because his voice's default setting is "automatic aphrodisiac".

Erik does seduce Christine with his voice, that's absolutely true, but only because that's what he intends it to do, not because that's just what it does on its own.

Masterpost

[myrskytuuli]

please do share your thoughts on small talk 👀

I just feel like people get weirdly smug about "not doing small talk" Yes, there are wild differences between cultures about where and when small talk is expected. I hated the "how are yous" from cashiers of uk and usa, because they are not expected in my culture. But if I want to get to know a new person, or navigate unexpected social situations, now matter where I am, it just has to be done through small talk. It's just a necessary component of how human interaction works.

And yes, many people are bad at this. Being bad at small talk is fine, but trying to jump over it straight to the "good parts" usually always makes things worse. Small talk very much has a purpose, and its social calibration to scope out the feel of the person. What kind mood are they in? What kind of energy levels they are at? Where the conversation veers from there depends a lot from what you suss out during the lighter small talk topics. If someone is already tired or sad or melancholy, I would not want to bring up depressing existential topics, while a more energetic and positive tone gives me a green light to veer the conversation to more silly topics. A little bit of small talk when you approach a new peron you don't know that well can save you from very unplasant moments of saying something completely tone deaf and embarassing. It's also that if you approach a new person with a really heavy conversational topic already locked and loaded, they might feel trapped by it. It's easy to just casually slide out of small talk, if you don't want to talk to someone, but if that someone has started the conversation with "do you believe in free will" or "let me tell you about the life-cycle of the hummingbird" it is difficult to just leave without looking like a dick. That's why I would never be brave enough to jump over small talk when starting a conversation, because I'm terrified that I've locked someone into listenign to my infodumb against their will. I feel much more comfrotable sequieing from meanigless chatter about the weather into more spesific topics after I've gotten a bit of read on how the other person is responding to me.

Also, and this is just my own experience speaking, but I do feel like people who are loudly proud about being above small talk have the tendency to think that everything they say is deep and meaningful and everythign you say is shallow and meaningless. I think most people who have attended house parties have at some point met this person. The one who loudly proclaims that the world would be a better place if we all just discussed philosophy more, and then goes on a two hour monologue about their last breakup with full confidence that this is a philosophical discussion instead of a onesided ramble. And don't even get me started on all the tinder profiles with no other text expect "don't approach me with a hello, say something interesting or gtfo" Like, call me a boring normie, but I don't want to start every interaction with coming up with a new and clever quip that's measured as the only indicator on whether any conversation should be even started.

And if you are locked in a situationship with total strangers, I don't want to hear about their hobbies or philosophies. I want to hear friendly noises, that assure me that we all feel friendly towards each other, despite being stuck in an elevator. Just meaningless chatter that tells me that no one here is about to throw a random temper tantrum, while we wait to be let out.

And sometimes I just want to lightly chatter with my loved ones, even if we have nothign of really importance to say, to just exchange some idle gossip or telling about mundane things that have happened, just for the pleasure of getting to hear the voice.

I used to be firmly in the camp "I hate small talk, it's dumb" untill I met too many obnoxious people who have made it a weird point of pride to be condescending towards other people who are just trying to navigate social interactions in a completely logical way. Nobody needs to be good at small talk, or even enjoy it, but in my opinion overenthusiastic small talkers are much more preferable to the cynic who doesn't waste time with small talk.

[maeve-on-mustafar]

I've been seeing a lot of discussion and negative reaction surrounding Mace's characterization in TOTJ, and honestly, while I understand people's frustration with the treatment of Mace, I'm kind of surprised by the amount of surprise I'm seeing across the fandom? Because to me, it seems like Mace's character getting thrown under the bus to make other characters look more sympathetic has been going on for a while now.

TBH, though I understand TV series reach a wider audience than books ever will, I do wish there was some more interest from fandom in discussing it whenever it happens, not just when Dave Filoni does it.

Like, I loved the Star Wars: Brotherhood novel by Mike Chen for its portrayal of Anakin and his relationship with Obi-Wan. But I will be the first to say that this book treated Mace terribly, characterized him as a blind pawn of Palpatine and a constant antagonist of Anakin, and didn't portray him with any redeeming qualities. I made a post about it here with various examples from the text.

But only a few people seemed upset by this characterization of Mace. Over and over, I saw his extremely unpleasant characterization dismissed as, "Well, Anakin is an unreliable narrator," even though there's a scene where Obi-Wan thinks to himself that Mace has a grudge against Anakin. The most critical discussion I ever saw of Mace's characterization was the Tapcaf Transmissions podcast.

I also want to talk again about this scene from the Obi-Wan and Anakin comic by Charles Soule:

I typically see a lot of defense of Mace for this moment, and I kind of get it, because I do think it brought about even more bad faith interpretations of his character. And I often see this moment discussion from a Watsonian perspective--that in the moment, there was nothing Mace could do to help Anakin, and he had to obey Palpatine, and therefore, he didn't do anything wrong.

But I want to talk about this moment from a Doylist perspective. I discussed it a little bit in this post, but to summarize this interaction and my problem with it, the author chose to use the only prominent black character in the Prequel trilogy (Mace) to make a white character (Anakin) look more sympathetic. There was no reason to include Mace in the Anakin-Palpatine origin story. So why would the author choose to have him there at all, much less in such a direct and aware way, when nothing in the films or TCW or previous canon media indicated Mace Windu had a role in facilitating the relationship between a 12yo Anakin and Chancellor Palpatine?

Well, because it reduces Anakin's responsibility in the matter. There's a reason Charles Soule opted to make Anakin very young when Palpatine started to sink his claws into him rather than a couple of months before AOTC. There's a reason Palpatine starts honing in on Anakin's past trauma of being a slave and using it to manipulate him. Because it reduces Anakin's eventual culpability in betraying the Jedi and makes it look like he's not a grown man making his own decisions, but a young adult who's been preyed upon and manipulated by the ultimate authority figure all his life.

And I believe that reason of making Anakin is the same reason for the addition of Mace being the person to give permission for Palpatine to meet with/counsel Anakin. Because it changes the Jedi from only being suspicious of Palpatine and his relationship with Anakin from the time of ROTS to a sudden ten years prior. Now it comes across as less like the Jedi being blindsided by the Chancellor interfering and pulling strings for Anakin to him doing so for a decade, half of which when Anakin was underage. And by extending the timeline this length of years, the narrative makes the Jedi look kind of dumb for never acting on their uneasiness about Palpatine and Anakin.

But if you're not convinced by any of my arguments so far, I want to close with this final point: let's look at the source material. Let's double check what Mace's views were on Anakin spending time with Palpatine in ROTS, and if there's anything to indicate that would lead Charles Soule to believe Mace would give the okay to Anakin hanging out with Palpatine.

And in ROTS, we have the following:

MACE WINDU: It's very dangerous putting them together. I don't think the boy can handle it. I don't trust him.

So, yeah. Charles Soule opted to change an element of Mace's character and introduce this unnecessary retcon so that Mace could be the one to allow the Anakin-Palpatine relationship to foster and therefore play an unwitting role in his own demise.

And that's my main reason for disliking Mace's part in Obi-Wan and Anakin. His role isn't about his own character, it's about making Anakin look more sympathetic and Palpatine look more predatory. And I love Anakin, but I hate that Mace was treated this way, and I hate the way he was treated in Brotherhood.

To be clear, I'm not blaming anyone for being upset about how Filoni characterized Mace, but I do want to point out that this is an issue that exists outside of just Filoni.

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

TSP Character Headcanons!!

these are just personal headcanons of mine- you are not obliged to agree :]]

btw this will be a long long post so im putting the cut here lmao

𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℕ𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣:

-demisexual af. like he sees absolutely no appeal in ANYONE unless he's hardcore bonded with em (cough cough Stanley)

-ik this one is common but he absolutely talks with his hands, like, to the point where you have to stand further back because they're gesturing so much

-cannot STAND anything scented. scented candles, soap, even certain foods (hm? projecting onto characters who?)

-He could change his voice to sound like anything (like with the mannequin wife) they just went with a british accent since it thought it made them sound 'smart and sophisticated'.

-germophobe to the max- always washing his hands, wiping stuff down, etc.. it wears gloves often in order to keep itself clean (and sane)

-only ever eats dark chocolate (FOR THE RECORD I FUCKIN HATE DARK CHOCOLATE)

-he loaded in his human avatar once and hit their funny bone/ulnar nerve HARD against a desk, and proceeded to sob for an hour while Stanley calmed him down

-he/they/it pronouns babyyy

-will often show Stanley the dumbest most grandma/white mom-eqsue facebook memes (he thinks its comedy gold and Stanley never has the heart to tell it that they're oh so painfully unfunny)

-when it realised he had feelings for Stanley he immediately reset out of surprise and fear (stanley was three hours into the baby game and wanted to strangle them afterwards)

𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕝𝕖𝕪:

-before the Parable he'd use almost an entire bottle of hair gel every day to keep his hair flat (he honestly prefers it natural)

-this guy is the biggest fucking fan of fidget toys. buttons especially.

-pansexual but demiromantic babyyyy

-has in fact eaten several bugs, the current running list including a cockroach, a mealworm, and a surprising number of ants and flies (a lot of them by accident)

-has also eaten dirt, mud, and candy wrappers- he was the type of kid who just put everything in his mouth lmao

-uses 5 million emojis/tone indicators when he texts, it started out as a joke but now he genuinely feels like he can't get his point across without them

-instead of scented things, he can't stand bad textures- the feeling of stucco walls, rubbing your fingernail wrong etc.. it's one of the reasons he's not the biggest fan of slime- he hates the feeling of it sticking to your fingers.

-he fuckin loves citrus. the fruits, the scent, etc..

-when he realised he had feelings for the Narrator he just. locked himself in the broom closet with the bucket for a couple hours.

𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕒:

-demigirl AND a lesbian babyyy

-she loves berries. blueberries especially.

-yes, she can backflip. she learned how back in high school, trying out for cheer (their crush was on the team and they wanted to impress her).

-has a hard time letting go of things- gets attached very easily lmao. She has a ton of burnt-out candles and broken mugs still sitting around their apartment.

-has punched multiple people in the face and... other places, in defense of her friends- loyal af

-likes to sing but is mediocre at best; they're really into showtunes and 70s 'hippie music'. she got to see stevie nicks in concert, and considers it one of her highest achievements. also partial to heavier stuff like rock and roll

-has a really close relationship with their dad- he helped her a lot growing up and he was so supportive of them when she came out (projecting again?? ME???)

-she has a 14-year-old pet cockatoo named Alfred (idk why im including this it's just something i believe in)

this post is getting so long but i just had to include my favorites, part 2 later!!

[cophene]

020 | tg university hospital.

previous chapter || next chapter || table of contents

pairing : jojolion x gn reader summary : the heir to an limitless fortune goes on a vacation to morioh to find their true love. seems easy enough; only, if that they're unable to find their love, they'll lose not just their fortune, but their life. notes : multi-chapter fic, sfw, doesn’t follow canon plot word count : 3.3k+

★ . . . YOU'D ASKED EVERY PERSON YOU passed whether they'd seen a stumpy little dog with a mane and a clump of fur on its tail. When they didn't look slightly concerned, they all pointed you in the direction of the Honey Sesame Café, which you supposed was convenient. Somehow, the dog and Yasuho were going to meet you in the same location.

You weren't bad with directions, but you found yourself getting turned around a lot more than usual. You had appreciated Morioh for being easily navigable your first few days here, but suddenly all of the streets started blurring together, storefronts practically indistinguishable from each other. You felt bad for stopping a burgundy-haired woman to ask for directions to the Honey Sesame Café, despite being told where it was just a few minutes ago.

"It's just past that intersection," the woman said, pointing. "Take the left."

You thanked the woman, but couldn't help staring at her face as she left. Her eyes were strangely pinched-looking, and her nose and lips perched awkwardly on her face. A different woman passed by then, and with a start, you noticed she had the same awkwardly-placed features too.

Maybe they're related?

You went in the direction the woman had indicated, glancing into storefronts as you went. One of the mannequins made you stop in your tracks.

Their faces. Squinty eyes and awkward noses. They looked just like those two women you'd passed by earlier!

A mother and daughter exited the door just then, and to your shock, they had the same faces as the mannequins. When you looked back out at the people on the street, not a single person walked by without those awkwardly placed features.

Your heart started doing double-time in your chest. What the hell was going on?

The Sesame Honey Café, you thought. I just gotta get there. I probably didn't have enough water today or something.

You craned your neck to take in the names of the storefronts, and nearly cried out in relief when you realized you were standing right in front of the café. You ducked inside eagerly. You had to find Yasuho. She would help you with this.

Except . . . this wasn't a café. You blinked confusedly at your surroundings. This was a bank, wasn't it? But then, why had the sign outside . . .?

You happened to glance at a whiteboard sign on the back. SESAME HONEY CAFÉ! it declared in bold, red letters. You knocked into something as you began backing away. SESAME HONEY CAFÉ! the caution sign screamed.

"Excuse me, do you need something?" The security guard near the front door approached you, his face pinched and awkward. You looked at his name tag, but the only thing it said was—

SESAME HONEY CAFÉ!

"Get away from me!" you cried, pushing the security guard away. You hurried out of the bank. Not only could you not recognize faces anymore, you couldn't read any words either. This was a Stand attack. But how? When could anyone have attacked you?

You fished your phone out of your pocket with shaky fingers. In your periphery, everyone that passed by was warped and strange.

You managed to unlock your phone, only to be met with a wall of gibberish. No. Not gibberish. Every single one of your apps said SESAME HONEY CAFÉ! You swore internally, then went to your calls. Except that wouldn't work because none of your contacts' names actually showed up.

On a whim, you pressed the first contact. Yasuho had been the last person to text you, hadn't she? Even if she hadn't been, you would be glad for anyone helping you right now.

"Hello?"

"Yasuho!" You almost sobbed in relief. "I need your help. I don't know where I am and I think I'm being attacked by a Stand."

"You're what?"

"I can't read anything around me. It all just says Sesame Honey Café. And everyone looks weird too. They all have the same face."

"Oh no," Yasuho said. "I knew this was going to happen. Just stay where you are. I'll find you. Is there anything recognizable nearby? Besides the signs?"

You tried to describe the street you were on to Yasuho the best you could. She hung up shortly after, leaving you standing on the pavement like a lost kid.

You shrank away from every person that passed by. Yasuho hadn't seemed too surprised about the attack. What had she meant that she had expected it? You wracked your brain to try to pinpoint the Stand user. Kei? Mitsuba? Tsurugi? All you had done was—

—step on that paper frog.

Did that mean Tsurugi had used his Stand on you?

There was some kind of commotion going on in front of you. People were muttering and exclaiming to themselves.

There was a bark.

A fucking bark.

"Iwasuke!" you shouted. "Come here! Now!"

You caught a flash of his grey fur, darting across the street. Maybe it was because of Tsurugi's Stand, or your panic over your dice, or maybe just the ugly-ass dog, but you didn't think twice before crossing right in the middle of the street, intent on grabbing Iwasuke.

A horn blared. Someone screamed.

Oh shit.

"You're lucky you didn't get off with more than a scratch," the nurse treating the scrape on your forehead said. "Things could have ended much worse."

"I'm just full of luck," you said wryly. From her seat in the corner, Yasuho frowned.

"You should be all good to go," the nurse said. "Make sure to sign all of the paperwork on your way out."

You thanked the nurse and then you and Yasuho exited the examination room with her. It seemed like the gods weren't willing to kill you before your curse was up because although the car had thrown you back a few feet, you only had a few scratches to show for it. As it happened, Yasuho had been nearby ,and so had rushed you off to the TG University Hospital. She'd also been able to wrangle up Iwasuke, thank the gods.

"I should probably give this back to you," Yasuho said. She dropped your bone dice into your hand and never had you been so glad to feel their coolness in your palm.

"How did you manage to get this from Iwasuke?"

"I didn't." Yasuo grimaced. "Tsurugi had it the whole time. He said he didn't mean for you to get hurt. He just wanted to tease you a little. I sent him straight home with Iwasuke. Hopefully Kei or someone chews him out."

"I'm gonna beat the shit out of him," you muttered. "I wouldn't have spent any time with him at all if I hadn't made a deal with him. He literally rolled a four with my dice."

"He played a similar prank on me when we first met," Yasuho said. "Although, I did mistakenly refer to him as a girl so maybe it's even."

"You too? I thought that was just me. I was so mortified."

"He's turning twelve soon so at least there won't be any more blunders," Yasuho said.

"Thanks for helping me out, though," you said. "I was about to lose my mind."

"I should've warned you about Tsurugi. Sometimes I forget you haven't lived here all of your life."

"I'm just going to duck into the restroom quickly," you said, gesturing to the sign off to the side.

Yasuho nodded. "For sure. I'll meet you at the front entrance."

You didn't spend more than five minutes in the washroom, but by the time you left, Yasuho was nowhere in sight. You spent a few minutes idling in the hall, craning your neck to find a directory sign somewhere. You should have asked Yasuho to wait for you. You had no idea where the front entrance was. There were no orderlies or nurses around for you to ask either.

You decided to just start walking and hope for the best. You rounded the corner and nearly collided with a woman leaning against the wall.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there." You reached out to catch the woman's arm. "Are you alright?"

It was hard to tell exactly how old the woman was. The hair underneath her elaborate hat and hood was a light brown, and her blue eyes, though intelligent, seemed strangely misted over. She had some kind of cape draped over her shoulders, and an interesting letter H brooch at her throat.

"You're one of them, aren't you?" she asked.

"One of what?"

"Yes. I can see that you're already using it," the woman said. She gestured for you to follow her into her room. "Come. Tell me all about it."

You didn't make it a habit to follow hospital patients into their rooms, but the woman sat on her bed and looked at you intently. You didn't want to upset her, so you hesitantly entered the room and stood in front of her.

"Let's see it," the woman said. She extended a hand.

"Um, may I know your name, ma'am?"

"Kira Holly Joestar." She arched an eyebrow. "Don't be coy, now. Let me see it."

You deposited your bone dice in her palm without knowing why. Holly peered at them, bringing them up to her nose.

"Lovely craftsmanship," she murmured. "Good weight. Not susceptible to scratching or wear."

You didn't know who this woman was or what she was doing, but she was making you nervous.

"How do they work?" Holly asked you.

"We come up with an agreement. If you roll above a seven, I will have to carry out my side. If not, then you have to carry out your side." There was something about Holly. You felt like you couldn't lie to her. "But you can also roll them without an agreement. Would you like to try, Holly-san?"

You took out your small jade plate and held it out to her. With a satisfied smile, Holly shook the dice in her fist and then dropped them onto the plate. Seven.

"Mom, what are you doing?" You and Holly both turned to the door. To your surprise, you found Kei standing there, and her eyes widened when she saw you too.

"Your friend has a very powerful ability," Holly said to Kei. "Do you remember the stories I used to tell you?"

"You should be resting, Mom," Kei said stiffly. She took the dice from Holly and thrust them back at you. Sensing her hostility, you backed away and then out of the room.

So Holly was Kei's mother? They didn't bear much of a resemblance, much like the Higashikatas. Why was she in the hospital? She seemed healthy enough to you.

You were still wondering this when Kei left her mother's room, shutting the door behind her. You expected her to be angry with you but she only cast her eyes to the floor.

"Do you need help finding the front entrance, Y/N-san?"

"Yes, please."

Wordlessly, Kei led you down the corridor and to the elevators. You knew you should leave it alone, but your curiosity and the silence in the elevator became too much.

"So, that was your mother?"

"Yes."

"She, uh, she didn't seem too bad. Will she be out soon?"

"My mother recently developed dementia," Kei said tonelessly. "The hospital has run numerous tests but no one can discern what the cause is. There are also abnormalities in her brain and internal organs. It is not safe for my mother to leave the hospital at present. She used to be a talented ophthalmologist. Now she barely remembers her own name."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"I did not expect you to, Y/N-san."

"Is there anything I can do to help? The medical bills must be—"

"I would appreciate it if you did not interfere where you are not needed," Kei snapped. You were surprised at her vehemence, and a little hurt by it.

Kei sighed. "I appreciate your kindness, but please do not trouble yourself, Y/N-san. Norisuke-san is also aware of my mother's situation. He has kindly shouldered much of the medical expenses but that has done little to help my mother. More money will not make her better. At least, not until they know what is wrong with her."

"I'm sorry," you said again. "This must be hard for you."

"My mother is the only one I am concerned about." She looked at you then. "I hope you understand now why I am opposed to you pursuing me. It is not that I don't like you. It is only that I could never leave my mother. I am the only family she has left, now that my brother..." Kei's mouth tightened. You had a feeling things weren't so great for him either.

"I get it, Kei. Believe me, I do. It's hard to be the one everyone in your family relies on. You want to push it all onto someone else but you're the only one. Your failure means everyone's failure." Your voice went quiet. "It's crushing sometimes, isn't it?"

"I believe we are not given more than we can handle," Kei said. Her gaze had returned to the elevator doors. "However difficult things may be, we will find a way through."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes. The gods would not leave us to suffer."

A shot of ice went through your veins. You stared at Kei, wondering if you had heard her right. Had she just mentioned the mountain gods? This would be the first time in your entire trip that someone had. Could it be possible that your family's fate wasn't the only strings they were pulling?

Or maybe it was just a turn of phrase. A casual invoking.

"The front entrance, Y/N-san," Kei said as the elevator doors opened. You stepped through them, feeling a little dizzy.

"You're not coming?"

"No. I still have a few things I have to do for my mother first." Kei gave you a small smile. "Good luck."

"Yeah. You too."

"Y/N, there you are!" Yasuho said, running up to you. "Took you a while. Everything alright? Did you get lost?"

"Yes, actually. I bumped into Kei and her mother. Did you know they were here?"

"You mean Dr. Kira-Joestar?" Yasuho nodded. "Yeah. It's such a shame what happened to her. She was well respected in Morioh. Worldwide, actually. I think they're still trying to figure out what happened to her."

"I keep forgetting this is a small town. So it's not a myth that everyone knows each other?"

"That's a bit of an overstatement. It's not like—"

"Y/N! Hey!"

It really was a small town. Because who else but Tooru could be striding toward you.

"Tooru, hey." You gave him a small wave. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here." He stopped in front of you and a small smile slanted his features. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story. I'm alright, though. My friend was just about to take me home. Do you guys happen to know each other?" You meant it as a joke, but neither Tooru nor Yasuho laughed. Actually, Yasuho's shoulders hunched and she pointedly turned away from Tooru. Tooru acted like Yasuho wasn't even there.

"You should be more careful," he said, giving you a once-over. "How are you doing otherwise? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Oh, you know. Trying to fall in love and break my family curse. The usual."

"I don't doubt it. Maybe we should meet up sometime? Grab a coffee?"

"Actually, I was going to ask you. Would you mind coming to my villa this weekend?" Tooru raised an eyebrow and you said quickly, "My mom is adamant on meeting someone to prove that I'm taking this seriously. So far, you seem like the person she'd approve the most of. Would you mind spending a few minutes placating her for me?"

"Sure. I'd love to meet your mother. And any family of yours at all, really. I still feel like I don't know enough about you." The look he gave you made your stomach drop. Still, you weren't sure why he and Yasuho were acting so weird around each other and so decided to end the conversation there. You thanked Tooru and told him goodbye before leaving the hospital with Yasuho.

Yasuho didn't say anything as the two of you began walking. She seemed strangely reticent.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah. I guess." Yasuho tried to smile but it was too weak to stay on her lips. "So you and Tooru, huh?"

"I guess. No offense to anyone else, but he's the only one who's shown any actual legitimate interest in me since my vacation started. Worse comes to worst, I might have to settle for him."

"Is he ... so you two get along well, then?"

"He actually believes in my curse, so that's something. He's a good listener. He actually gives pretty good advice. He calms me down, I think."

There was a thin line between Yasuho's eyebrows. "That's good."

"Are you sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah. Everything's fine." Yasuho seemed to shake off whatever fog she'd been under. "So did you and Dr. Kira-Joestar talk about anything? She's not at a hundred percent but Kei told me there are some times when she seems lucid. I found that out myself when I first met her."

"She seemed to know about my Stand, which was kind of odd. I mean, we've never met before..." You cast your gaze toward your shoes, thinking. "Yasuho, do you know anything about the mountain gods?"

Yasuho blinked. "The mountain gods?"

"Yeah. Have you ever heard anything about them? Maybe something they had to do with Morioh?"

Yasuho stopped walking then. She opened her mouth, then stopped herself, biting her lip.

"What is it?"

"It's just ... I was thinking about your curse. Do you remember how I said there had to be some way to break it? Without you falling in love? Do you know how this curse came about in the first place?"

"One of my ancestors used to live in Morioh," you said slowly. "His life was miserable. Agonizing. So he climbed to the top of a mountain and begged the mountain gods to reverse his fortune."

"We only have one mountain in Morioh," Yasuho said. "And I've never heard of anyone encountering anything up there but ... I wondered if ... well, what if you went back to the mountain? What if you asked the mountain gods to lift your curse?"

You went very still. This was something you had never considered. You had to go to Morioh and fall in love or die. That was it. There had never been any other option. But what Yasuho was suggesting ... could it work? You were in the very place where your ancestor had first struck a deal with the gods. Assuming they were even real, it stood to reason that you would be able to see them again, right? Why not go upstream? To the mountain that had started it all?

"Do you think that would work?" you breathed.

"I don't know," Yasuho admitted, fiddling with one of her pigtails. "It's just something I was thinking about. I don't even know if the mountain gods are real. But if they are, they should be willing to hear you out. It sounds like your ancestor made that deal a long time ago. Your family doesn't really need your endless fortune anymore. If you laid out your case to them ... they would at least give you more time, wouldn't they?"

Your thoughts were whirling. Meet with the mountain gods yourself. Why hadn't you thought of that? If Yasuho's idea worked, no one in your family would ever undergo the curse again! You would be free! Maybe without your fortune, but money could be recovered. You were willing to give it up if it meant actually living your life and finding love on your own terms.

"You're brilliant!" you exclaimed, swinging Yasuho around in a circle. "Absolutely amazing! I think you just saved me!"

"I don't know that this will work," Yasuho yelped. "It's just an idea!"

"An amazing idea. I'll do it. I'll meet with those mountain gods." You came to a stop, your hand still in Yasuho's. Her cheeks were slightly flushed.

"I just have to figure out a way to get up that mountain."

"Lucky for you, Josuke and I met someone last summer," Yasuho said. She grinned. "I think he'll be just who you need."

previous chapter || next chapter || table of contents

[theheavenlyrose]

Being Bothered by JJK's Character Writing pt. 1 (Geto Edition)

My man, your plan was nonexistant.

What exactly was Geto's plan to rid the world of cursed energy/non-sorcerers to protect sorcerers? He wasn't going for Yuki's goal to somehow turn everyone into Toji, that we know.

The Night of a 1000 Demons was a diversion to isolate Yuta, but like... why did he need Rika? What was she going to do for him? Having more cursed energy wouldn't let him defeat Gojo and I don't think he wanted to fight Gojo in the first place. Did he want her near unlimited cursed energy? What for? I'd think it was to power some kind of genocide machine, or use a Rika powered Uzumaki to somehow eliminate all non-sorcerers. But like... sorcerers make up a very small percentage of humans, so how does he expect society to function when most of its population goes poof?

From his backstory in Hidden Inventory I get that his actions were driven by hatred of non-sorcerers, who create never-ending garbage for him to swallow and result in the deaths of countless sorcerers, as well as treat sorcerers like trash in the rural parts of Japan. It never feels like his actions are driven by a love for sorcerers primarily, just the hatred of non-sorcerers. I can't believe that the man was ever very compassionate when he just murders his parents, who did nothing wrong, in cold blood with zero remorse. I don't know if the intention was to portray Geto as a good person corrupted into evil by a system he feels powerless to fix, but if that's the case the execution was... bad. Being depressed and going on a murder spree doesn't make you tragic. How the hell do you go from supposedly being in favor of protecting those who can't protect themselves to hating them all with extreme prejudice without once reflecting on your actions in over a decade? It makes more sense for someone like Naoya, raised in a powerful sorcerer family with little to no contact (presumably) with non-sorcerers to have these kinds of beliefs, not Geto who was raised as a regular human in a family of humans. Even with the Toji trauma, you'd think he'd view the situation with more nuance and gravity, since he grew up around non-sorcerers. (But this ties into a bgger problem of Gege refusing to show the human world in a good light even once.)

I don't know if its supposed to be that he was waiting for someone to stop him because he knew his nonexistent plans would never work and he just wanted to be a beacon of hope for non-sorcerers. Wanted to direct his compassion somewhere he could justify and where it would be cherished when it was just exploited while he was working as a sorcerer for the benefit of non-sorcerers. That would have been pretty tragic, and would have made his "I could never wear a genuine smile in this world." line from JJK 0 carry more weight. As it stands the narrative reads as if he was always twisted and just needed the right trigger to snap. The weak were either the helpless cattle he so graciously gave his everything to save, or the parasites eating the strong. Its believable that he could have fallen so hard as to justify genocide at some point, but we never see him view the situation with the maturity of an adult, its very black and white thinking. Suitable for our teenage cast, not so much for a near thirty year old. Again, I don't think I would be nearly as bothered about this if we saw him have an ounce of internal conflict at any point and really show his love for his sorcerer family. But in-text, Gojo showed more compassion to others that Geto ever did.

TL:DR: Geto is not a complicated villain who chose a dark path to save people he cared about. He's a sociopathic murderous manchild lashing out at the world for a decade. There's little indication that he was a caring and compassionate person even in HI, which reduces him in JJK 0 to just a one-note "haha I'm evil" villain with a sympathetic veneer to try and mask that fact. It's a shame. I think Gege had a really interesting character on his hands that he could have made incredible even if he didn't know where JJK was going to go after 0.

[sgtpigeon]

Five Ways Corporations are Literally the Devil

The incorrect use of the word literally in the title is intentional, for ironic effect, to indicate that this piece is not serious analysis. It is an analogy that tries to make a few decent points about what corporations are and what they do.

I think corporations are not good. Or at least, I think they don’t need to be as bad as they are. I make no bones about that. I understand why corporations "exist", and the value they supposedly add to our society, but I also know that they are the concoction of a privileged elite who have always shown that they value wealth over everything else, and whose primary concern is the protection of their property.

I’m both fascinated and infuriated by the idea of the corporation. 

One more thing before I present the list. This is not a debate on the existence of a god. That is not the point. When I write about the devil, I'm using Christianity as my source, because that is where I came to know the subject.

Having lined ourselves up on all of that, let’s get on with it.

They are Both Fictions

In law, a fiction is a thing that doesn't exist, but for practical purposes need to be treated as if it does. A court of law cannot outright dispute the existence of either a corporation, or the devil, in the dispatching of its duty.

Just as business law wouldn’t make any sense without the fiction of a corporation, neither would the concept of sin in Christianity without the devil. In this way, they serve a similar purpose.

They are Both Evil

The whole idea of evil is deep and wide. For the sake of economy, in this comparison let’s agree that ‘evil’ is a thing, and that religion is the basis for most people’s understanding of it. “For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” --1 Timothy 6:10 (NIV) Corporations have the single overarching purpose of producing profit. Any purpose a for-profit corporation may claim is subordinate to their primary mission to produce profit, and to grow that profit over time.

If the only aim of a corporation is to create wealth, and the desire to accumulate wealth is evil, then how can a for-profit corporation be anything but evil? 

They Both Lie

The devil’s deceptive nature is well-expressed in religious text. I identified more than fifty verses that referenced directly or inferred that The devil is a charlatan. Not just a liar, but one who appears to be one thing while bearing intentions that are totally different. “And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.” --2 Corinthians 11:14

Corporations wouldn’t deliberately lie, would they?

“If [cigarettes] are behaviorally addictive or habit forming, they are much more like … Gummi Bears, and I eat Gummi Bears, and I don’t like it when I don’t eat my Gummi Bears, but I’m certainly not addicted to them.” --James J. Morgan, President, Phillip Morris Tobacco Company, under oath, 1987

Does anyone buy the idea that in anyone who wasn’t living under a rock in 1987 didn’t know intuitively that cigarettes are addictive? So, what else can we call the statement above but a lie? Though I’m glossing over this item for brevity, it’s not a minor point. Lying is not only something corporations do, it can be said that manipulating the truth is one of the things corporations do best.

They are Both Scapegoats

Who hasn’t heard the old phrase “The devil made me do it”? In Christianity, The devil still gets the blame for making people sin. There is a nearly religious reverence for corporations, which includes a tacit approval of their means and motives. People have no problem, it seems, accepting that they should not expect corporations to do good things, or for that matter, to even care much about the negative impacts of what they do to generate their profits, right up to putting at risk the health and safety of their workers, or even the public.

Put another way, corporations get away with things people couldn’t. Things a person might expect from another person; respect for their privacy, their safety, etc., they do not expect from a corporation.

We accept that corporations are apex predators like a sharks. We are saddened but not shocked by news of a shark attack, but never blame the shark. It’s only doing what sharks do. 

They are Both Immortal

The Devil is immortal according to official sources. A supernatural being. That’s pretty cut and dried. 

Corporations are immortal because the law says so. States may have their own rules regarding how often a corporation’s registration needs to be updated, but for the most part a corporation, once ‘born’, will live until its owners decide it is no longer useful.

Corporations are immune to disease. They cannot be killed in a natural disaster or an automobile accident, or even old age. You’ve probably done business, as a customer, with one or two of our country’s oldest corporations; Dupont was established in 1802, making it 220 years old.

So, Basically the Devil, then, Right?

I have confessed my morbid fascination for the phenomenon of the corporation, and the strange loyalty they create in the mind of ordinary people, particularly those who are motivated to defend their country’s continuing dedication to unconstrained capitalism.

Though the corporations are entirely the creation of people; their decisions made by people, their risks calculated by people, and their profits ultimately collected by people, the investor can rest comfortably, one degree separated from any harm resulting from the creation of the profits they enjoy, by their wonderful friend the corporation. 

[dipsysdumbmind]

July 3rd, 2023

Therapy is cancelled today so its just me and Tumblr. It is the fifth day without a response. I decided to send a message today. I don’t know why but I feel like we need to talk. The shape I’m in right now isn’t good and I feel like if we don’t talk I am gonna make some choices that I may regret. But regret comes after things happen. Or when you never get a chance to get to that point. I’m thankful it was a long weekend because it gave me more time to try and. Well that is a lie. I didn’t do anything to help my pain. I just got high and drank so i could sleep. Bad habits. But it was the only thing I felt up to doing. Everything else was taxing. The thought of being around people is taxing. The thought of having to put on a smile is taxing. So I reached out. There is nowhere forward we can go. I knew when I sent the text that your response would determine if we would move forward or if everything would come to an end. The problem is I got too attached.. now that is usual. But I got too attached and I got too hopeful. I didn’t prepare for the end I only prepared for moving forward. And now I’m stuck. I’m stuck in a place that I don’t even know what to do. People can say well you can’t let it get you down and you have to move past it but saying something and doing something is two different things. And I lost a lot of my motivation to do anything. I lost the good parts in myself. I gave it away. Happily at that. I was fine to give you the good parts its what you deserved, but now. Now I don’t have any good to give anymore. I’m giving you until tonight to respond. You don’t know this but if you don’t respond. Well I don’t know if I can promise it’ll be the last time you hear from me but it will be the end. If I used my brain earlier I would have known that people don’t take 5 or more days to reply to who they want to. But you were able to do that with me and that should have been all the indicator I needed to know you didn’t feel the same. But I was blinded and you are you. It’s hard to think the worst about you when you always are the best. We will never go back to the bond that we had and I am concerned that you’re gonna finally see the real ugly parts about me. It sucks because you’re someone I never want to lose and it may be necessary. Because if I can’t have you around then maybe losing you is the smartest option. Nothing feels the same anymore. The lows just feel low. And satisfaction is gone. I don’t know what to do anymore. You made me look at life differently and now I can’t even look at it in that way. Where I once saw happiness, now I don’t see anything. I lost my hope. I don’t hope anymore and that scares me. Cause hope kept me going and so did you. Now I’m just here. I understand that time helps but I don’t think any time will diminish how I feel.

[its-whitetomorrow]

Scarlet & Violet = not worth it

I gave it a quick watching session because I decided I’m not going to waste my time by playing through false premises, shallow worldbuilding and bullshit characterization, like I did with Arceus. But it’s got even better because turns out that...

- no graphical improvement going from Arceus

- no environmental improvements, the game still doesn’t seem to have any complex cave systems or interiors, just like it didn’t have them in Arceus

- still a loading screen and then another between major hubs/city parts, which is why the main city awkwardly got... walls and a medieval gate treatment... 

- bugs bugs bugs, terrible graphical glitches, bystanders teleporting in/out of the scene, I’ve seen literal ghostly nightmares glimmering during battles

- bad animations, robotic movements, heck, they can’t even get going down the stairs right!

- the school director is using Remake Maxie animation, the exact same one, and it’s soooo jarring and funny, like how it’s possible it is soooo cheap?

- no animation on tv screens, it’s just an image put over it and you can tell because they’re - very awkwardly! - trying to transition from a room with a screen the person has appeared on to the interior they’re actually transmitting from, rather than have them talk from the actual scene with a screen. lol

- they doubled down on slideshow treatment from Sword & Shield, no kidding, lots of dramatic fancy talks about people and pokemon accompanied by... cheap slideshows... 

- UI is like a low budget game, no style, basic Arial for text and so bland - worse than Arceus!

- music is crap, ABSOLUTE UNORIGINAL GENERIC CRAP (from what I heard of it, though there might be a few cues I missed, but I’m talking about it overall, for the most part, not per track basis)

- pokemon models feel like plastic balloons, so again no improvement, but hey, it’s the least important part at this point...

- poor cutscenes and sequences, awkward camera movements, almost no good-looking cinematics apart from a few, and super poor Pokemon boss transitions (vs Arceus where, again, it was superior, with each having a special bombastic entrance and all that)

- no special fight mechanics and special boss interactions... like in Arceus, which was awesome and made it feel like a modern game, at least, not something stuck in DS era (like, the fight with Dialga/Palkia or Arceus was SICK... Violet and Scarlet? Boring crap!)

- feels like watching a silent movie because once again they forgot to hire any voice actors and... it got even worse, because most of the talks/interaction sequences don’t have any music attached to them, and there were even parts where they didn’t bother to indicate things with basic Pokemon sound effects, like they usually did in the past. DISASTER, they’re not even pretending to be trying anymore

- each of the three storylines constitutes a boring, shallow grind, each a shallow rehash of things that came before, with elements/themes of all other pokemon games (including Arceus!) clunkily thrown together into one pot

- the main story, short-lived as it is, isn’t at least delegated to post game... instead it’s... its own separate thing attached to the end of the game, once you’ve gone through all the grind of the three generic side storylines

- that being said, the story (or at least the final chapter of it), while somehow more engaging and musically/emotionally better, is a huge failulre nonetheless. They basically gone awry by creating an AI that looked like maybe it’s an AI or AI pokemon gone rogue trying to realize whatever plan it had with the help of an army brought from the future/past... only for the game’s writing to take a giant step down and “soften” it all by claiming the AI is the good guy, only for the broken game logic to claim the good guy gotta turn into a bad guy with bad guy lines of dialogue due to some ex machina protocol that hardly made sense, so all in all a giant writing failure and waste of premise, with a throwaway finale at the end, as usual these days

- try to explain this: they don’t have resources for creation of a better-looking game with good, well-functioning animations and without bugs - but they do have resources to create....... a badass, creepy AI room with a giant swirling time machine which looks like a vortex of transformed Eternatus, only for this design to be wasted on a guy standing on a high platform and throwing pokeballs, in a regular Pokemon battle, nothing extra and nothing special here, the machine might have as well been a small capsule that you use, with how the rest of the game looked, and nothing would have been off, so why put such a badass effort here is beyond me, they’re just insane and it’s too apparent now

PS: How come a mobile game such as Masters can be superior in every aspect, soon even graphically and animation-wise apparently, is beyond me

[meta-squash]

A brief review of Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

This was the strangest reading experience I've had in a long time. I really liked all the sections of this book that were interesting and honestly very valid criticisms of certain parts of queer culture. During those sections, there were multiple times where I found myself going 'Yes, exactly!' at the points being made. I also loved the parts of the book that other people on goodreads seem to be clutching pearls at: the things about how something that is seen as "bad" or "toxic" or "unhealthy" in the eyes of cis people being gender-affirming for trans women, because it indicates a treatment or behavior usually reserved for cis women (even if it is damaging behavior or treatment), or just in general the experience of something unhealthy or toxic for a person also being gender-affirming. It's a complicated thing and a difficult line to walk. And the plot was interesting, a unique take on a mainstream style of novel. But I found that even 150 pages in I felt almost nothing for the characters. Usually I find I have a pretty solid opinion on a book and its characters after about the first 20-40 pages, this time I didn't.

So I tried to think about why. I liked the basic plot, I liked the parts that were more political/social critique or theory, why did I feel so neutral about the book as a whole?

I realized it's because this book is all "tell" and almost no "show." The characters are as clear and articulate about their feelings in dialogue as they are internally, and the narrative voice explains everything. There is never a moment where there's dialogue or interaction/reaction between characters that allows the reader space to figure out what's going on. The reader is told every single step of the way exactly how the main characters feel and exactly what they think, rather being shown those feelings through some sort of action or reaction, and given the space to sit with what they've just read and then go "Ohhh, I get it." Which means there's very little work for the reader to do, in terms of engagement. It's why I like the more queer social critique/theory parts better, those at least required some amount of critical thought.

Maybe this book isn't meant for a queer trans reader like me who doesn't need much hand-holding to imagine how things like parenthood and (de)transition could affect someone's emotions and concepts of themselves. If it's meant mostly for a cis, straight audience who have had very little experience with questioning their gender or sexuality, or haven't ever encountered hostilities about their gender presentation or the ways they live their private life, then I suppose this book has done its job. (Although, even then I question its intended audience, mainly because I think many of the book's criticisms and theories about queer culture require experience or at least "I have visited queer spaces on the internet" knowledge of a lot of specific aspects of culture.)

The hand-holding was, I think, the biggest barrier to really enjoying this book or connecting with the characters. At no point did I get sucked into the text enough that I felt I was "watching" the scenes in my head; it always felt like I was being explained the scenes, play-by-play, by someone else. I had little opinion about or thoughts on any of the characters for the first hundred pages at least. I didn't care about Reese's relationship with Katrina until over 200 pages in. Ames felt half-built, both in flashbacks as Amy and "present" as Ames. Reese was given long monologues worth of narrative character-building, and yet there were only certain moments where it felt like she shone through as a Person rather than a Character Being Narrated. Despite the implication of complex and confusing feelings and thoughts swirling inside each of the characters, everything felt extremely straightforward. Nothing was hidden and therefore nothing was at stake because I wasn't trying to suss anybody out or figure out their thoughts/feelings or the reasons for their behavior; I knew it would get fully explained to me in the next couple of pages.

It's a shame because I think the whole entire plot and all of its characters are an important sort of experience and life to portray. A character who detransitions but admits that they might change their mind later, who admits that gender is still definitely a fluid and enigmatic thing that can't be pinned down and made permanent? That's so important to see right now. A non-traditional, queer (or "queer") potential poly family learning each other and discussing the future and parenting and attempting to figure out how and what to Be in the face of an intensely emotional and stressful event is really important. Seeing all the sides of being a prospective parent -- the positive and negative, the ways someone can really want it or be more ambivalent, all of that. It's all really important in terms of portrayals of queer life, especially adult queer life rather than teen queer life. I just wish the book had been written better, that it had more faith in its readers and their ability to interpret a character without everything being laid out for them.

[avelera]

Spoilers for "Thor Love and Thunder" but regarding Gorr's choice...

... to bring his own daughter back to life instead of, say, healing Jane I can't imagine of version of him doing so that would be in character?

Jane is enough of a god that when she dies, she disperses into golden light. For Gorr's final wish to be to give Thor, a god, his lover's health back by curing her disease or even (ignoring Thor) to give a godly woman her health back as his final act (when the option to save his own child is possible), would be an utter betrayal of everything he has stood for.

By refusing to continue fighting Gorr but instead deciding to spend his possibly final moments with Jane, Thor reminded Gorr of what really matters in life. He moved the needle from vengeance over the death of his daughter to reminding Gorr that with all the power of the universe at his disposal, he could instead remove the need for his own vengeance. But in my opinion, it would be hugely unrealistic for Gorr's revelation in that moment to move the needle all the way from vengeance to helping his enemy, another feckless god, at the expense of his own child.

The rules of how Eternity works as far as the limitations of the wish are vague. In theory, Gorr could have wished that nothing bad has ever happened ever or that he and Jane would both be cured and his daughter brought back. But even phrasing it like that I think reveals an implied limitation: there is no "and" possible. You get one (1) wish. He can't cure himself and bring back his daughter, he can't cure Jane and bring back his daughter.

I think Gorr makes the only choice that a loving parent can realistically make. In the absence of an "and" being possible in the wish, he wishes for his child's life at the expense of his own and certainly at the expense of his recent enemy's life.

In my opinion, by making the choice to save his daughter, Gorr does a correct thing. Maybe not the "right" thing because it's a moral quandary of an impossible situation that can only come up because this is a magical sci-fi story. (How many people does he save? How many people can he save? It doesn't matter because a magical wish to bring people back to life doesn't actually exist in the real world.)

Gorr isn't a good guy. We have no indication he was what we call a "hero" even before his daughter died. Our few in-text hints indicate he was a religious fanatic who only had doubts once his daughter died of privation in the desert and then he met his idiot god. There's nothing that occurs in his journey or after it to indicate he would ever make a selfless choice with that wish. Granted, it's hard to know the details of his personality because everything he does with the god-slaying sword is of dubious motivation since it's heavily implied he's mostly just a vessel for its will the entire film. Thor being able to push the needle from "vengeance" to "save your daughter with the wish" encapsulates the entire arc of morality we've seen from Gorr, there's no indication his moral compass has anything beyond those two directions.

From an in-text philosophical angle too, assuming the wish could only be for one thing to change, one person to be healed or brought back to life, IMO saving a child who died far too young, who died a refugee in the desert, is a worthy use of the wish. And it's the only one I can realistically see Gorr making. Assuming he'd go all the way to forgiving and saving his godly enemies is just a bridge too far. It would, IMO, show the hand of the author more than anything else. It would appease the audience who loves Jane but at the expense of the internal consistency of the character. It would be so obviously about saving Jane instead of doing what the character we've seen to that point would do. For Jane's salvation to be the outcome, presumably, we'd need Thor to have made the wish instead, which would only raise a hundred questions of why he didn't bring back everyone he's lost, or why only Jane. The Pandora's Box of questions of "why Thor made that wish" would be endless, whereas with Gorr's limited screen time there is no question, there's only one choice he could make.

From a Doylist angle too, to briefly switch gears, Natalie Portman was done with the MCU. She's been done for years but came back to make one film and do justice to her character who has been poorly written in every other iteration. She got an epic, memorable exit. I'm entirely at peace with it, personally, as a storyteller myself. And as a storyteller, there's just no way to expand the possibilities of the Eternity wish without inviting a thousand more in-universe questions of how best to use it. Heck, people are still scrapping about the Avengers undoing Thanos's snap and if they did the right thing by bringing everyone back but not, say, winding back the clock so it never happened or bringing back their non-snapped dead loved ones as well.

The minute you introduce universe-altering powers that can overcome death, you're playing with fire as a creator, a fire that risks undermining all the sacrifices and deaths in your story up to that point. Giving Gorr the wish, making it clear Gorr had only one possible wish he could make once he turns from vengeance but doesn't turn all the way towards global altruism or Christ-like forgiveness of his recent enemies, you allow the magic of the plot device to exist without undermining everything else.

I completely understand people who are sad about Jane. She's built up as a wonderful person in this film. She could do so much good as The Mighty Thor. That's important because we should feel the tragedy of her death. That's just good storytelling. But I personally would have let out a gasp of outrage in the theater if Gorr had picked her over his own daughter, for all the reasons listed above. Natalie Portman was never coming back for another film. There's a slim chance that any director besides Taika would have remembered to include her character in future iterations, much less done her any justice if we're going by the treatment of other MCU love interests. She was never going to headline her own franchise nor would the actress have wanted to. From a Watsonian and Doylist perspective, this was an excellent exit for her. It was dignified, emotional, memorable, and magical. To have spent the wish on her instead of an innocent child would have cheapened the entire narrative. At least, that's my take.