#they undersell any chemistry

[theskyexists]

First Kill

will never forget or stop mourning that calliope was supposed to have CLOUD HAIR. this was the whole damn believable fixation point of mc girl’s infatuation. i too fall a little bit in love with people who have cloud hair but more importantly an infatuation becomes believable BY its fixation point

i also definitely feel like the absolute menace that emanates from this calliope is palpable lol. and would have been really fun to know its origin of if we’d done the shorty story structure

also all the people who are supposed to be deeply beautiful are still a million times less beautiful than mc girl, because they didn’t let her look actually tired and shit and also because sister and calliope are just....not that (truly some cullen underperformance - they’re supposed to be SHINING) and the wardrobe does NOT help with that. why were they both introduced in bright yellow? now that i think about it, is that supposed to be costuming message?

also sad to see thingie, mc girl, less indoctrinated than in the short story

nice character note that calliope did not like the taste of that alcohol

THIS is supposed to be a closet? it’s the size of a room!

calliope is like - what. you were actually wanting to kiss me??? hahahahaha

the music choice for this scene is pretty insane and also deeply hilarious (h%ntai bo0bies)

nice reversal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ill be honest i love vampire uno reverse

JESUS THIS SCENE JUST KEEPS GOING

this edit makes it seem like we were in the past and like there was sexual tension where there wasn’t which is not good. i cannot distinguish brother from father and that is also not good

i like cal’s part a lot, but it really all is amateurish compared to words isn’t it

the thing i miss from the short story is that there seems to be less emphasis on them BOTH (including white girl mc whose name I STILL cannot remember) going into that closet with the idea they might kill eachother

i guess they couldn’t get it to work - ALMOST staking somebody or ALMOST biting somebody - doesn’t work in images

still can’t believe they reference twilight in the theme song lolololol. although OFC OURSE i know this is ...welll. inspired by the whole the thing

THIS IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY??????? they didn’t STOP SHORT OF KILLING EACH OTHER. oh why do writers not realise the gold they possess

so HOW did she get out of that cupboard after having stabbed mc white girl????????? was there a second exit??????????????

HAHAHAHA this DOES go into the inherent hilarity of the completely insane and stupid idea to stab a member of society with NEGATIVE ALIBI

the action in this is shit. is it really so hard?? i feel like you should minimise the audience actually seeing anything if you want it to land. and also better sound effects - the ‘ah’ was louder than the glass shattering

Lettie (??) is like- i almost got murdered by a hunter, buttttt im not gonna tell my fam

funnily enough they kind of UNDERemphasised the analogue with sex of ‘my first’.

cal does NOT point out the vamp. great lil nod to her also-underemphasised feelings.perhaps even uh underwritten feelings.

hold up - they’re now establishing that you DONT have to kill to feed? because Elinor can easily do it - because she has mind powers???? this changes the dynamics and meanigns of everything!!!!!!! lol. why did she even kill anyone? why even kill anyone ever??? it puts a huge twist on the contrast between juliette and her sister. her sister has the best of both worlds! strong, beautiful, running on blood - but able to get away with it everytime and never killing anyone.

theres definitely something significant about dad’s first time story being held back.

and whats the mystery of julliette’s bite not actually showing up on cal?

same happens to elinors bites. this seems to disagree with the necessity of killing. Is Elinor’s weekly bite Freddy? the guy she supposedly first killed?

the soundtrack is often way too loud

what kind of weird fucking exchange. youd expect this swapped. ‘i just wanna talk’ ‘like in the closet?’ ‘that was instinct’ (a blatant lie for cal but true for juliette?) ‘i could say the same’ that should have been cal’s line. she was bit - and so she reacted

juliette is surprisingly calm after running away in emotion and blood tears

‘i said, leave me alone’ she....didn’t say this. the editing really is shoddy

this is a better exchange. should have left the first one out

what....they got caught covered in blood and paralysed on the roof? how did they know they were on there???if they got away??? this is clearly a new day???

hey we have arrived at the playfulness of the end of the short story. the hunt is on. etc.

the way it’s looking now juliette is leading her family straight into the arms of a serious hunter family

very serious upping of the stakes here

if they were gonna play this a romance (which it is supposed to be) then they’ve seriously forgotten the VAMPIRE part of vampire forbidden love - namely the craving to KILL and the extreme restraint necessary to retain humanity and protect the one you love. i am gonna reread the short story because i remember finding calliope’s feelings for juliette much more......believable. while her her desire to prove herself gave the character MEAT

[decepti-thots]

Hello! Your latest posts about Rodimus were great! But I have a question that has been bothering me for quite a while and I really want to read your opinion because I think that your understanding of these characters is really good and you are as unbiased as one can be (and it helps that you don’t latch on to James Roberts’ or artists’ twits!). Do you think Ratchet is being disrespectful and abusive during his belief debates with Drift? It’s silly, but lately I saw people who share this opinion.

Ahhh, this old... argument. By which I mean ship war. Is that really cropping up again?

This discussion obviously involves a discussion of at least the abstract invocation of abuse in discussions of shipping, so just to be safe, I will cut it.

Well in case the above didn't give it away: no, I do not think Ratchet is being 'abusive' during their pre-relationship spats. I will in fact plant my flag in the sand here: I think any reading of their interactions which attempts to invoke the very real, very serious concept of domestic abuse is offensive in its insistence on exploiting serious topics for the sake of what is very much silly ship war nonsense. It's a part of the tendency of some parts of fandom to not be able to simply say 'this ship does not appeal to me' or 'I feel this ship was badly executed and so did not enjoy it', because that would make their dislike of a pairing too subjective and they need it to be objectively bad and wrong, so a bad-faith reading is used to make the matter a morally weighted one. A relationship didn't just lack chemistry or come across as insincere or seem too sudden for characters who previously butted heads; no, it's abusive. Relatedly, you are bad for shipping it, and you should come ship this thing I just so happen to prefer. To call this tactic in poor taste would be underselling it, I think.

Disrespectful, well, that's very different. I think Ratchet is absolutely disrespectful towards Drift at the start. That is a major foundational point in how the comic sets up their history; Ratchet acts like he is angry at Drift because he dislikes Drift's kooky religious views, but in reality he is angry at Drift because he sees what Drift went on to do after Ratchet saved his life as. Well. Unworthy of respect. The annual makes this pretty clear; their arguments aren't just about Drift believing in crystal healing or whatever, the discussion they are having underneath is about Ratchet feeling responsible for the atrocities Drift committed as Deadlock.

Which I think is where the milder version of this comes in- the idea that Ratchet is disrespectful of Drift's religious views and that Drift shouldn't give the time of day to someone who treats his deeply held views so flippantly, so the relationship sucks because ew, Ratchet is a Bad Boyfriend. Which... I can see how you might come to this conclusion, the indications that a) this is not what they are really fighting about and b) that Drift is in fact playing up part of it on purpose and it's not wholly sincere, are not unambiguous, nor are they super obvious. I disagree, personally. But it's up for interpretation, and you can absolutely read the comic as saying that yeah, Drift is super religious and Ratchet thinks he's dumb for it, that's all just real and there.

In which case, well, that's an absolutely fine reason to not like the ship, obviously! Some folks are not into the 'we started off antagonistically and slowly came to begrudgingly respect each other and whoops now we caught feeeeeelings' dynamic- because watching people not like each other is not fun to them even if it is temporary, or it reminds them of shitty exes they've had, or like. Whatever reason. That's fine. But it's not some sort of 'gotcha' that 'proves' people are wrong to enjoy that stuff. So someone doesn't like relationships that start out, pre-romance, where people are mean to each other over disagreements. Cool! Lots of folks don't, and I think folks that don't are likely to bounce off dratchet. But that's an assessment of personal taste rather than quality or, in the most hyperbolic versions of The Diskhorse, morality.

In short: nah, that's overwhelmingly folks who just don't like a ship and think if they moralise hard enough they can like. guilt people out of shipping it. tbqh. i mean less the 'disrespectful' part, but certainly folks out here insisting ratchet is an abuser are being disingenuous.

[npaddictionclinic]

Depression Therapist: The key to making the holidays special

Close your eyes. Imagine the lights of the holidays. The glint of a menorah. The twinkling lights of a Christmas tree. The shining pile of wrapping paper scattered across the floor. The gleam of the ball dropping on New Years. The warm glow of a loved one’s smile. For many people, this is what makes the holiday so special. It’s the reason for the season and every song on the radio. But imagine if you were blind to all of this, all of this pure, glowing goodness. For many, this is exactly what depression feels like. And it’s exactly the kind of pain that a depression therapist can help take away.

What is Depression?

Depression is not easy to summarize. And no summary will truly do its rotting, agonizing nature any justice. But we’ll try for this blog’s sake. Depression is a complex and multifaceted mental health condition that transcends occasional feelings of sadness or melancholy. It is characterized by persistent and intense feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyable. Otherwise known as “anhedonia”. 

Those experiencing depression often grapple with a myriad of symptoms, including changes in appetite and sleep patterns, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide. While the exact causes of depression can vary from person to person. Factors such as genetic predisposition, traumatic life events, imbalances in brain chemistry, and ongoing stressors can significantly contribute to its development. But where depression comes from matters far less than how depression harms you. And how a Depression Therapist can treat it.

How does Depression harm your quality of life? 

The impact of depression extends far beyond any individual’s emotional state. It diminishes affecting their daily executive functioning. And it remakes your overall well-being in its own image. It can disrupt one’s ability to maintain relationships, perform at work or school. And even shatter one’s ability to participate in routine activities. Depression isn’t merely a transient condition but rather a prolonged state of emotional distress that requires professional intervention and support. Seeking therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, and social support networks are often essential components of managing and treating depression. With the right combination of treatments and support, individuals can effectively navigate and overcome the challenges posed by depression, gradually reclaiming a sense of stability, fulfillment, and hope. 

Treating Depression with a Depression Therapist

Depression therapy, facilitated by a trained and experienced Depression Therapist, can be a crucial component of treating depression. In fact, it can be the difference between unmitigated pain, and a desire to see another day. This sounds dramatic, but for many people, it undersells the weight that Depression yokes the necks of its victims with. Therapists employ various evidence-based approaches to help individuals manage and alleviate symptoms of depression. At NPAC, one widely utilized therapeutic method is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to depression. Through CBT, individuals learn coping strategies, problem-solving skills, and techniques to reframe their thinking, fostering a more positive outlook.

At NPAC, working with a depression therapist means healing in a safe and supportive environment. One where individuals can explore their emotions. And gain insights into their underlying issues so they can develop healthy coping mechanisms. The therapeutic relationship established with a therapist encourages trust and facilitates the process of understanding and managing depression. Together, therapist and patient collaborate in the healing process to set achievable goals. And create personalized strategies to alleviate pain, promote emotional resilience, and improve emotional overall well-being. 

Getting the help you need with a Depression Therapist

It can be hard to get the help you need. Especially when you find it hard to just get out of bed in the morning. But the life that you have is too precious and too unique to waste even one moment in unnecessary pain. Get a Depression Therapist at NPAC today, in Port Lucie. And get the help that you need. 

Are you ready to get the help of a Depression Therapist? Then it’s time to heal at NPAC.

In a society where stigma still shrouds neuropsychiatric disorders and addiction, the Neuro-Psychiatric Addiction Clinic is a safe haven. Here, our patients find a wealth of scientific knowledge, cutting-edge treatments, and a compassionate environment where their struggles are met with empathy and understanding. By choosing this clinic, people in need and their loved ones take a decisive step towards embracing a brighter future, one where the rays of hope and healing replace the shadows of addiction and neurological imbalance with a renewed sense of purpose.

Start your journey to wellness today at one of the nation’s leading addiction and mental health treatment facilities. Benefit from recovery in style with great people in a pleasant South Florida location in Port St. Lucie. Call us at (888) 574 3506 or visit our website https://npaddictionclinic.com/ for more details. We are available 24/7 to answer any questions regarding our treatment programs.

[jade-parcels]

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The bunnies’ other jobs!

From my bunny cafe au

((I am so peeved :((( I had this all written out!! And I deleted it by accident!! Darnnnnn!!!))

Anon asked “You mentioned that some of the bunnies have day jobs so do they all have jobs outside the cafe or just a few?” (Something along these lines…again…I deleted it by accident 😔)

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Diluc/‘Angel’

After his father got bored with the wine industry, he passed the whole company off to Diluc on his 18th birthday in order to shift his focus to mining. Diluc found himself swamped with all kinds of business decisions while just barely being an adult. He expanded the company and hired some very trustworthy people to handle things for him so he could finish college

When the business was given to him, Diluc and Kaeya had an explosive fight over it. Kaeya felt like he deserved to have some say in what happens to the business, he’s still a part of the family! But Diluc refused to let him in on any decisions so Kaeya packed his bags and left (not before cussing him out in front of their father, staff and business partners). He was just in a silly, goofy mood. They’re fine now, not on the best terms but they do chat and meet up for lunch on occasion.

He is filthy rich, he couldn’t spend all of his all of his money if he tried, so he doesn’t really need the job at the cafe! Kaeya got him the job because he knew his brother was stuck in a weird, antisocial funk and needed some fun in his life

Diluc loves this job, he has a great time, but it isn’t his main job. His priority will always be the family business!! If he has to quit his job at the cafe, he would in a heartbeat

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Kaeya

Kaeya was going to go into the police academy but was scouted out by a modeling agency. They had seen him at Ragnvindr company events and thought ‘well damn’ so they gave him a pretty generous deal

Kaeya makes a good living off of modeling, the tips and paycheck from the cafe. He rakes in cash pretty quickly just cause he knows how to get it. That, and his dad sends him checks every other month as well. Kaeya thinks of it as ‘I’m sorry’ money. He isn’t wrong

He doesn’t travel much for modeling, which he doesn’t mind, so he kinda just hangs around the city with a lot of free time on his hands between photo shoots. That’s why he got this job at the cafe! It gives him something to do and it’s fun as hell ;)

Albedo

Bedo is one busy bunny. He finished college early and is getting his masters degree online. He works most days at the cafe and on the weekends, he tutors other college students in bio/chem/science related subjects

(He was actually Xiao’s tutor back when he was failing chemistry!! Xiao is very thankful for Albedo’s help!!)

His dream is to become a biochemist, he’s always been interested in cells and what makes up living beings. So having a career in that field would make him the happiest man alive

His mother and sister live outside the city in a more rural area so he spends a lot of time FaceTiming the two of them! Klee is always so excited to hear about Albedo’s experiments or the people he’s met while working in such a bustling, fun city :)

Zhongli

Zhongli is a simple man! He’s a bunny waiter and an artist

He creates intricate pieces based on folklore from different cultures, focusing mostly on dragons. His favorite medium is paint, he loves painting on glass and layering the panes in order to create a 3D piece

He sells his works to galleries, shops and anyone who wants them! As long as they appreciate the story behind the artwork. Sadly…He undersells his work. He could def be making more money but he just does not desire money or material goods the way others may

So he got his job at the cafe in order to help out his dear friend Ningguang, not for money, he only planned on working there for a month or two until she got more bunnies but…he ended up really loving the people he works with :’) he looks forward to working with them now and texts/calls them outside of work to meet up for lunch or bowling (such an old man thing to do omfg)

Dainsleif/‘Sweetie’

Dain was a bouncer at another bar before leaving to come to Celestia’s! He’s good friends with Beidou, they belong to the same motorcycle club so when she was talking to him about the lack of security at the cafe/bar, he stepped in to help out

Little did he know…he’d actually become a bunny…And like it

This is his full time job now, he doesn’t have another for the time being. While he is a bunny at the cafe, he still keeps an eye out for any threats to his coworkers and has access to the offices upstairs (Ningguang’s office and the security office)

When he isn’t waiting tables, he’s upstairs in a tank top and sweatpants keeping an eye on the security cameras and talking to the other security guards through their ear pieces

Ajax

Ajax is a student who doesn’t really have much time on his hands

He mows lawns in the summer and he’s quit his job as a cashier to come work at the cafe! He mostly works night shifts his cause he’s still going to school aaaaaand he’s on his college’s swim team! He’s about to graduate so he works close with his coach to help train the others on the team

He doesn’t really want his family knowing that he skips around in a skimpy bunny outfit and fucking customers most nights but I mean…They’re bound to find out if they see him in pictures people post

Xiao/‘Tofu’

Xiao is an art student!! He wants to be a tattoo artist :)

He’s already got one sleeve of tattoos, it’s unfinished but you can’t really tell just by looking. When he isn’t at the cafe, he’s either in class or shadowing Ganyu, his best friend and tattoo artist. Their art styles greatly differ, she focuses her craft on cutesy, colored tattoos, but she is skilled. And Xiao looks up to her

Xiao admires Zhongli too, they met at the cafe and when Zhongli found out Xiao wants to be a tattoo artist he told him that once he’s licensed, he wants to get a tattoo from him :’)

Baizhu/‘Honey’

Baizhu is a (mostly) full time pharmacist, hence why he isn’t usually at the cafe

He also has a niece, Qiqi, who he babysits often. He loves her very much so he has no problem watching her! Baizhu will even bring her to the pharmacy with him when he’s swamped with work. In the break room, he has a play kitchen, coloring books and a bunch of puzzles to keep Qiqi occupied while he works :)

When he’s not at work, he’s at home resting. He has chronic pain flare ups in his back and shoulders that can make life miserable :( he has plenty of good days that outweigh the bad! And as a pharmacist, he has access to any medicine he needs to make his life easier!

Dottore(Alain)/‘Doc’

Alain’s an oral surgeon who’s a little bit….too into his job

He isn’t phased by blood or gore so he’s easily able to conduct procedures that would make other squeamish. He’ll pull teeth, put in dental implants, remove rotten tissue, any of that without even flinching

Outside of that, he works at the cafe. He wears a mask in order to avoid being recognized even though at his job as a surgeon, he’s usually wearing a medical mask anyways. It’s just a precaution

This has nothing to do with his career but he used to be a tap dancer and actor so he’d join in on local theatre shows! He helped build sets when he wasn’t rehearsing. He doesn’t have time for that anymore (which kinda makes him sadddd) but he has all kinds of theatre playlists on his phone and in his car that he’ll sing along to

Scaramouche/‘Boss’

Scara’s job at the cafe is his main job! His side job is something you may not expect from such a grump

He works at an animal shelter! In fact, he brings cats home to train so they have an increased chance of being adopted. Someone is more likely to adopt a potty trained, socialized cat than a feral cat who doesn’t know what a litter box is. So Scara brings them to his apartment for some one-on-one socializing, training and cuddling

One time he offhandedly mentioned working at an animal shelter while he was working at the cafe and sure enough, three separate customers from the cafe came by to adopt!!! Only one actually took an animal home but he was still surprised that those people had listened to him and cared enough to come by

Scara is a jerk most of the time but when he’s at home…by himself…With a lil kitten sleeping in his lap while he plays games on his PC…Yeah, he softens up a bit

So as you can see, we have a very diverse group working at the cafe! They’ve all learned a lot from each other, come to appreciate each other’s friendship and come to help each other out when one of their coworkers is in need or upset.

[ellsey]

Agents of Shield Rewatch 7x09 As I Have Always Been

First of all, we’re not going to discuss how many times I’ve seen this episode because...welll...the number is pretty high. But this is legit my #1 favorite episode of all time. This episode is an example of this show firing on all cylinders and just at it’s absolute best. And it’s really one of the last times we get to see our family all working together, and that’s where I think this show gets its strength. 

Anyway, this may get super long idk I just have a lot of feelings about this ep.

The number of times Chloe must have had to film waking up in this thing is probably pretty high

Ok first things first, my very favorite thing is Sousa using that box of gloves as a pillow because having spent a good portion of my lower to mid-20s in labs I will not pretend like I haven’t considered doing that

“I was so much happier asleep” MY MOOD EVERY SINGLE DAY

94 km away...I’m going to try and keep track of these numbers

Sousa’s face at the smell of Deke’s 80′s cologne hahahaha

And now we’re in our loop #2 (but who knows the real number)

Ok, since I used to be a med tech (aka I worked in a hospital lab), I have questions about why they have so many green and blue tubes there. I mean...green tops are heparin tubes so I guess you can use those for basic chemistry tests, so that might be usable for multiple things. But those blue tops? That’s sodium citrate and the only thing I know of we used those for were coagulation tests. Which require some specific equipment. Does Jemma plan to run that many PT/PTTs?? And on what???

LOOK I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS ABOUT THAT OK

And yes I remember those anticoagulants by heart still

The repeating title card is :chef’s kiss:

Daisy very quickly realizes she’s looping

91 km now

I’m wondering if there was something cut here by the way Sousa says, “See?” to Simmons as if we are missing some part of a conversation they had

My guess would be Jemma was all “You can go rest in your bunk you know Agent Sousa” and he’s like “Nope, gotta make sure Daisy rests” and Jemma’s like “...do you though?” and Sousa’s all “Yep. She will not do it on her own. Trust me.”

Maybe there’s enough for a fic plot in there

Ok, we’re now on loop #3

Daisy also very quickly realizes that she’s waking Sousa up with her boots and is very quiet so he can get some sleep

Awwww

I kind of wish I knew what May was sensing from Daisy right about now

I love love that Robo Coulson is so over this

The way he says “This guy” KILLS ME

So Coulson knows of 87 loops, but we know in this case Daisy didn’t wake him for 2 loops this time...we’re going to be doing some mathing soon lads

Also we just covered loops #4 and #5 since the ep started

Coulson says this is loop #90 which matches up still

And loop #6 for us now

Daisy was kind of loud there but didn’t wake up Sousa sooo...idk

79 km now

I love that Daisy realizes that to solve faster she needs the entire team

This must be loop #7 because Deke now says they are 65 km from the vortex

“It’s kind of hard to access” YOU DON’T SAY

And now people know about Jemma’s implant which...FINALLY

Phlebotinum is an amazing word bless

Making yourself cough like that seems like a rough day of filming 

And directing

Deke’s face when Nana is dead though :(

Loop #8

It was sabotage!!!

But also Daisy died so we’re starting over memory-wise

Loop #9

48 km

Daisy legit forgot about her boots waking Sousa up too ha

Loop #10

And this time we wake up Coulson again

41 km

Enoch, Deke, and Jemma standing there is so freaking hilarious

Jemma is so done even though she doesn’t remember any of this hahaha

Loop #11

This is the one where we try to get Elena out and helping

Loop #12

Phlebotinum!

Sousa finally woke up on his own I guess

That smile when he says, “Reminds me of my SSR days” like

He lives for this chaos he just doesn’t want to admit it

Also look at him being a smart agent here

And let’s talk about the trust Sousa has in Daisy for a sec

He not just immediately believes her about the time loops, but he immediately understands what she is saying about what is happening. Thus he knows this isn’t really a sacrifice play because he’ll come back AND he’ll have saved her the trouble of forgetting. But also, he trusts her so implicitly that he’s willing to risk his life for her. 

It’s beautiful y’all

And poor Daisy has to add watching Sousa die to her list of traumas cool cool cool

Although that does give me writing ideas...

Loop #13

Daisy immediately pops up to ensure herself that Sousa is still there napping away and like

I legit thought this was going to be the peak Dousy moment in this episode when she stops and just watches him breathing for a bit hahaha

She does not want to leave him there either and then the way she says, “We’re making progress” then adds a kind of soft “thanks to Sousa” like

Daisy is going through some stuff here

Coulson is going through some stuff too

Clark Gregg is killllllling this

And Coulson realizes that Enoch is the problem

“Oh dear” ENOCH HAHAHAHA

Loop #14

“Why do you care?” “Because you don’t”

Ummmmm MY HEART

But Daisy is not just accepting that he’s willing to die for her, she wants to know why now

Which obviously we will circle back to in a few loops or so

See, Jemma says she has to be awake to remove them implant...I guess the difference before was that Enoch wasn’t removing it?

Idk that makes no sense

Loop #15

Send in Sousa to distract Enoch

That “Hello!!” omg Sousa no

Sousa is surprisingly bad at this

Sousa’s muffled “Sorry” KILLS ME

As does Daisy’s face

Loop #16

Appeal to Enoch’s sense of irony

Loop #17

Have Jemma countermand her previous order

Loop #18

Bring in the whole gang

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS KILLS ME

“Where’d he get all those weapons?”

Poor dead Deke

Them realizing it doesn’t matter because they’ll all come back

The way May looks like she’s relaxing

Sousa’s feet framing Daisy’s face

Legit this is amazing and I love it

Loop #19

“Actually, I can take a loop” 

WE LOVE TO SEE IT

“It all phases me, just maybe not my face”

Ummmmm sir

Your face

While lovely it definitely gives you away

The saddest thing to me about this is that Daisy can’t seem to understand why he’s always willing to help and wants to watch over her. It’s like she still doesn’t think she’s worthy of being treated like this.

“Some of my favorite people are people like you” I CRY

Whew there’s a lot to parse here. 

First of all, I think Daisy actually really likes that Sousa is seemingly not phased by anything (or at least, not super bothered by it) because her life is always going to be chaotic that’s just facts

Second, in this very short time of knowing her, Sousa definitely has her pegged. He knows that she craves other people, but is also probably a bit scared to want to be around other people. He knows she’s hopelessly stubborn, but that’s because she cares so much. And he knows that she needs someone to have her back no matter what, because she won’t have her own.

Of course, there’s also a personal element here as indicated by the next part of their conversation. 

Also of note, when Daisy is pressing with the questions, wanting to know why he’s always there for her, she’s leaning forward while he sits back. 

Now though, when the question is a bit more personal, she sits back in a very protective stance. I think she’s a little scared of what he’ll say to her question. Because she realizes that she likes him. A lot. And what if he’s just like a generally good guy and this has nothing to do with her?

But of course, it has everything to do with her as indicated by what Sousa says next. “Not for everyone. It helps if they’re fun to be around, and if they say what they mean, and if they have that super power where they can rock things around which is very impressive.”

And Daisy’s immediate response?? SHE SMILES. Like...this is what she needs and what she wants but what she’s been too afraid to go after. And here it is just falling in her lap.

Now that everything is out in the open, they are both leaning towards each other...

Also I love that she says, “That’s awfully specific” and he doesn’t shy away from her. He just agrees with her. They both know what that really means.

And they both like it

Legit here I was chanting KISS KISS KISS but I thought it was a missed moment

I am so happy I was wrong

So the new plan is to misdirect Enoch by having Sousa go in to take the implant out, but really Sousa is leading Enoch into a fight with him, Mack, May, and Elena and like what a squad

But also this was a super plan, and I wonder if Coulson was involved or if this was Daisy/Sousa original

Either option seems likely

“Next time, same thing but faster” 

Daisy is really good at following instructions y’all

Loop #20

Daisy asks for help and Sousa immediately agrees to help and THAT IS WHAT DID IT FOR DAISY JOHNSON FRIENDS

Like...I know she’s feeling under the gun for time because Coulson said same thing but faster

But also, peak romance is someone just wanting to help her no questions asked which, given her history makes complete sense

She needs a constant, someone who will be there for her no matter what

I feel like this started in some ways with Lincoln. He was just so sweet and helpful to her. And granted he had his own demons to deal with, but in the end he was willing to give up everything to save the world and Daisy herself.

But he also showed Daisy that she could expect love and support and she was worthy of that (even if she doubted it later)

So here’s this guy, who’s just smart and kind and good and clearly into her

So, knowing that this could be one of her lasts chance to do this and realizing that at any rate he’ll totally forget about it anyway, she makes a move

And like this kiss?? It’s hot y’all

You can tell Daisy just like lol Imma kiss him, but then they are both caught in this moment and go back for me

But also he definitely led for that second kiss 

“That was nice” like hahahaha amazing undersell Daisy

And then she traces his collarbone like whoa I need to fan myself for a bit

“Now we need to drop a space robot”

I can’t tell what Sousa is more confused by- that statement or the kiss itself

Imagine being Sousa though. You just got woken up by this beautiful woman who asks for you help then kisses you when you say “Sure thing.”

He’s truly living the dream

Oh also we’re 11 km from the vortex now

It turns out Enoch is the answer to all our problems

But also we have to kill him in the process :(

And then poor Simmons has a breakdown over leaving Alya presumably, but also she’s a better mom than me because after 3 years in space with one of my little super geniuses I’d be more than ready for a vacay idk

I love my kids but they are...a lot

And finally, Loop #21

I guess Daisy left Sousa to sleep for this loop

<1 km from the vortex too eek

Enoch immediately understands what is happening :(

I love that Enoch has reached the point where he feels like this entire crew is his family and would sacrifice themselves for him

Enoch didn’t feel lonely until he had friends :((

This whole thing is breaking my heart...not just Enoch in the process of dying, but Coulson actually talking about his deaths and Daisy having to try and process all this

“Yet, this is the nature of families. I have seen it countless times on countless worlds. People arrive so we celebrate, and people leave us, so we grieve. We do what we can with the time in between, but the cycle is always there. No one escapes it. Not even me.”

This really got to me. My family has changed a lot through the years. People have come and gone. Babies have been born. People have died. And nothing I do can change this cycle. Sometimes it makes me happy; sometimes it hurts. But nothing I do can change that process, and that’s not always easy for me to accept.

I think Daisy and Coulson are having a moment here too, where Daisy is telling both Coulson and Enoch that even though they are not human, that doesn’t make them any less alive to the people who love them

RIP Enoch, you were the bestest Chronicom to ever robot

And of course we get one last buzzkill with Nathaniel and Kora

Queen Kora you deserve better

Ok first some timeloop math. We saw 21 loops on screen, but loop #5 was loop #90 for Coulson. So if we figure Daisy died say...every 10-15 ish time loops and it took her 2 or 3 to wake Coulson up, we can probably add an additional 25 time loops or so. So we’re probably looking at around 130 loops roughly.

Of course this begs the question, did Daisy decide to kiss Sousa more than once? It’s possible. I kind of like to think she did. 

First of all, mad props to Joel for nailing that death scene. He was absolutely incredible. And clearly this episode rates 1000000000/10 on the Dousy scale because like...everything. The talk, the kiss, the sacrifice...amazing. I was 95% sure I was getting ending Dousy after this. This episode also gets 50000/10 on the Teamwork! scale because our team did so well and were strongest when they worked together. And of course Enoch gets a 10000000000000000/10 on the Good Chronicom scale because he legit was the bestest Chronicom that could ever not-live.

Since we’re in a timeloop and not in a particular time period, I’m going with the Dousy-est of songs, “peace” by Taylor Swift.

[movie-robotnik-positivity]

New Sonic Movie AMA!

It has been a while, but we have another reddit AMA from one of the people who saw the test screenings.

Unlike last time, the user chose to spoil as little as possible, but there's still a lot of new info, as well as nice confirmations.

Obviously, there is no proof of this being true, you can take it with a grain of salt. Though i personally believe it.

Positives:

- They consider the movie a solid 7/10 and describe it as "2014's TMNT but good"

- The movie has good character development on Tom, Sonic and Robotnik.

- Sonic and Tom have a great relationship, their chemistry is good and their friendship is very believable.

-They consider this relationship the best aspect of the movie.

- There are plenty of references.

- Unlike similar Live Action CGI hybrids (TMNT, Smurfs and Alvin and the chipmunks), the focus remains on Sonic, the main character.

- Sonic is really cute in the movie, he starts off very shy and ankward but as the movie progresses he learns and develops into his loveable cocky self.

- The cinematography is stunning and the action scenes are really good, even if the CGI and effects were unfinished back then.

- There is a great action scene that pays homage to SA2.

- There is also a shot by shot recreation of an iconic SA1 scene.

- When Sonic and Robotnik comes face-to-face for the first time in their lives, the movie takes a second to breathe. It's a really well-done and epic scene that actually gives chills.

- There is aparently an awesome action scene on a highway.

- Ben Schwartz nails his performance as Sonic.

- The movie has plenty of heart and is very wholesome.

- The cast is great and so is the acting.

- It's overall lots of fun.

Negatives:

- The pacing is kinda clunky at the beggining (mostly the events that lead to Sonic being sent to earth), however, it improves significantly throught the movie.

- Some of the serious moments get interrupted by jokes (this is only sometimes)

- The chemistry between Tom and Nan is kind of weird and they didn't interact enough

- The worldbuilding was alright, but it needed more.

- Some gags are a little forced.

- Could have used more action scenes.

Trivia:

- The movie is more of an "Adventure comedy" than "Action Adventure"

- Adam Pally's plays Tom's coworker (Wade Whipple). He has some funny lines and does something very useful for Tom at some point. He's a Cool Dude™

- The "Campfire scene" is listed as a positive (this is the second time an AMA refers to it)

- There is no toilet humor (Patrick Casey actually confirmed this on Twitter a while ago)

- There is, however, a hedgehog mating joke.

- Sonic being able to dodge missiles but not a tranq dart it's not an inconsistency, it's part of his character development.

- There is a very dark scene in the movie.

- The movie ends with a cheesy gag, very 90's (nice!)

- Frank C. Turner's character is indeed named "Crazy Carl"

- Sonic is their favourite character in the movie because of his character development, but Robotnik brings the most laughs (specially through slapstick)

- Tom wife's name is Annie, Nan is her nickname.

- Sonic has does hedgehog things like curling into a ball when he's scared.

- The relationship between Sonic, Tom and Nan is more friendship than found family.

- Sonic does NOT have sex and is not sexualized in any way (I can't believe someone asked this)

- The post credits scene hints at a sequel.

- Robotnik does become a threatening villain, but it takes time.

- Sonic's feet are alluded to, but never shown (thank god!)

- The trailer pretty much undersells the movie and the music choice, while fits what Sonic listens to, doesn't fit the movie at all.

- Sonic does the floss dance inmediately after saying "Is that all you've got?"

- The name "Eggman" is never used.

- Agent Stone is funny and fawns over Robotnik

- There is only one product placement (probably the shoes)

- They actually consider the movie better than Detective Pikachu.

Bonus:

[aion-rsa]

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12 Review: Diary Queen

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This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12

The Simpsons Season 32, episode 12, “Diary Queen,” may be the sweetest offering of the series. It’s not only sentimental and self-esteem-positive, it’s downright edumacational. At least for Bart, who certainly learns a lesson. Thankfully, as the episode explains by example, he probably won’t retain it.

“What’s the matter, Bart? I figure you’d be used to failing by now,” Edna Krabappel once consoled the spiky haired kid who seemed so determined to get through school without schooling. Marcia Wallace, who played the Springfield Elementary teacher, died unexpectedly in October 2013. Edna’s death was first acknowledged in “Four Regrettings and a Funeral,” from season 25, when Bart wrote “We’ll really miss you Mrs. K” on the chalkboard. He only wrote it once. Her death was punishment enough. Both the character and the voice actor were instrumental in the chemistry of The Simpsons, and chemistry happens to be one of the few things Bart’s ever excelled at in school, even pranking a talent show in the “Haw-Haw Land” episode. But he gets his beakers crossed in the latest installment.

“Diary Queen” opens with an inspired West Side Story song parody, “Too Nice” replacing “Tonight.”  It’s time for Ned Flanders’s annual yard sale, and he’s on a holy mission to undersell eBay. Comic Book Guy is looking for a broom to play Quidditch on, Waylen Smithers is going to score some kitsch, and Ned will finally toss those fuzzy dice Maude bought him to the bottom of an impulse item box of jokes he did not get. The Flanders family are parting with their humble possession in a public bid for humility, in case no one notices. Ned gives up Rod’s teeth. Todd consigns his toys to the auction block on the grass. “Playing is a sin that we regret,” one of the Flanders kids explains.

Ned’s bizarre outdoor bazaar is the only segment which has any meanness in it. The Springfieldians want to take advantage of Ned, and openly mock him. Carl and Lenny turn the yard sale into a yarn brawl, and Jimbo’s gang buys commemorative plates just to smash them. It’s enough to send Ned looking for the fans he always carries around in case of stress-induced hot flashes. As Patty and Selma are flicking ashes into Rod and Tod’s baby shoes, it seems Nelson, Bart, and Millhouse are the only ones worthy to buy Ned’s treasured mementos. And, of those, only Nelson’s purchase is authentic. He buys all the bad words, like “adultery” and “fornication,” which Ned cut out of his old religious texts. Nelson has a genuine use for them, you can just tell.

Bart and Millhouse buy the books. Even without the offending admonishments, they swear they’ll still find useful ways to better themselves. Their haul winds up being the fiery centerpiece for a supercool skateboarding feat which no one will ever see. It’s an old joke, but we do get to notice how big Millhouse’s nose looks when he’s picking it. One book, which gives the title to the episode, is spared the conflagration of Bart’s daredevil jump: Edna Krabappel’s diary. Bart recognizes the Ds and Fs, and Millhouse recognizes the smell of Parliament Lights 100s. It’s very telling how these are the most recognizable clues. They are each ready-made character punchlines.

The diary is a font of information. Bart and Millhouse learn all the teachers work night jobs during school hours, and the many lonely secrets of Groundskeeper Willie. But their first use of it is inspired gaggery. Bart learns Superintendent Chalmers keeps his car keys behind the visor. The two kids not only steal the car but take advantage of a free yogurt offer at a car wash. The idea that taking the yogurt and ditching the car is a “perfect crime” is great kids’ logic. It is a little odd, however, that Springfield’s Chief Wiggum sees fourth grade car thieves as inspiration for a little personal time with Officer Lou, but it works within Simpsons logic.

The central point of the episode is Bart’s relationship with his dead teacher, and his relationship with himself. He actually believes someone he thought only saw him as troublesome also considered him “smart as a whip.” It leads him to believe he actually has potential, which he translates to: all the time he was showing his butt he was showing promise. This spurs him into thinking about getting seriously educated. Not only does he try but he succeeds on his first dry run, resisting the urge to draw a skeleton head on a multiple-choice test grid, and getting an A. Not only does he finally understand how his sister Lisa doesn’t suck, but he puts himself on the same level.

Lisa goes through all the stages of jealousy, and even realizes she’s on the verge of obsession when even her imaginary comfort pony begins to look like Bart. This makes it worse, because realizing he is the only thing she can think about only makes her dwell on it. Lisa is usually the family genius, and how she reacts to Bart doing well really depends on the circumstance and need for story conflict. For instance, when Bart had to apply geometry to miniature golf in an early episode, Lisa brought a Zenlike understanding of all things which putt. Lisa does Bart a disservice tonight in the guise of doing the right thing. It’s her MO.

Of course, Marge and Lisa don’t trust Bart’s recent good grades, but while he comes up clean to Marge, Lisa digs up the dirt. Bart correlates “cruel” with “lying” because “they’re both great.” He thinks he’s going to win a Spelling Bee just because he has the potential to do it. Would it have been less cruel for Lisa to let him see how far his belief would get him? She’s set him up for worse humiliations just for an edge at science fairs.

Millhouse gets a few good gags tonight. When Lisa starts developing a rash because of the stress of not crushing her brother’s potential, he pulls cream out of his fanny pack labeled “rash stash.” Groundskeeper Willie is a highlight of the episode. His character has one of the most interesting takes on passive aggressive behavior in comedy. It’s not that he gets it backwards, so much as he pays it forward: Terrorizing Bart with the idea of simmering a new pet into rabbit stew when all he’s thinking of is how much bunnies love stewed carrots.

Read more

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Subtle social commentary makes its way into the episode. As this is the first episode since the Trump presidency, it opens with a Bald Eagle flying a sign asking “Is it safe yet?” We learn Ned doesn’t find Bill Maher funny. A priest tells Bart and Millhouse reading someone else’s diary in church is not the worst thing you can do within the hallowed walls. Moments later we see the priest handcuffed and escorted past the pews by the police. We can only wonder what offenses are happening at Reverend Lovejoy’s competition.

Fat Tony (Tony Montagna) tells his henchmen his crime family doesn’t kill children, “We wait till they’re 18.” Lisa is kept up at night by the cold dead eyes of Mike Pence. Subtle subversive commentary can be found when Principal Skinner declares the drug-free portion of the school assembly a success because Lisa, the only one in the auditorium, tells him she doesn’t do drugs. But the scene comes shortly after we learn Dr. Hibbert is pushing kiddie-Xanax “sleepies” and “dopies” on her. The best bad side effects are “Portuguese insolence” and the “tendency to see yourself as others see you.”

The episode has quite a few sight gags which work well. The sign outside the Spelling Bee contest reads H-E-A-R, and we see one of the losing contestants ripping up a dictionary on the way to the exit. When Ned starts to preachify in the treehouse, he only stops because Bart is drawing back a trigger finger on his slingshot. Mrs. Krabappel’s beloved cat not only was not harmed during the making of the episode, but was a willing participant, according to the closing disclaimer. One of the stills in the photo montage is of Krabappel watching The Bob Newhart Show, which Marcia Wallace was a regular on.

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For the majority of The Simpsons’ run, Mrs. Krabappel was a sexually independent woman who was often “looking for a substitute to teach me a lesson I sorely need.” She began dating widower Ned in “The Ned-Liest Catch” from season 22. They married in secret and stayed together until her death in “The Man Who Grew Too Much.” The cause of Edna’s death has never been revealed, except in a non-canon, future-set episode. For this installment, Wallace’s two lines are taken from earlier episodes. “Diary Queen” will be her last appearance.

This is a different kind of arc for The Simpsons. “Diary Queen” is on an uplifting trajectory until Lisa knocks it off course, and ends in a sudden life-affirming crash. Bart’s final warning to Marge, “I’ll go over the edge if you try to make me feel better,” is wonderfully skewered, but the final twist is a dose of treacle. The episode was originally slated to premiere on Valentine’s Day, and is a sweet sendoff.

The post The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12 Review: Diary Queen appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: The Sanderson Sisters

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Ah, Hocus Pocus, everyone’s favorite campy Halloween cult classic. Objectively speaking, the movie is probably no better than a made-for-TV cheesy 90s Disney movie – and funnily enough, this film’s director would go on to make plenty more of those, seeing as he would do the High School Musical movies and The Descendants – as it has all the hokey writing, late 80s/early 90s cliches you’d expect, and some truly boring main characters.

But, thankfully, it has three of the most charismatic women you could imagine camping it up and firmly cementing their status as Halloween icons for all time: The Sanderson sisters, Winifred, Sarah, and Mary. These three are the reason this movie is held so near and dear to people’s hearts, and frankly, without them this movie would just plain suck. With them, it still sucks, but in a fun way, elevating it beyond “so bad it’s good” and into the realm of endearing camp alongside such masterpieces as Venom.

But enough of all this; just like when you’re watching the movie, you’re here for the girls, so let’s talk about them.

Actor: The leader of the bunch is Winifred, and she is played by Bette Midler. Bette Midler has called this her favorite role ever, and seeing how she acts in this, it really shows. A running theme with these three is that they just absolutely ham it up, and Bette Midler goes above and beyond with Winifred – she’s not just a ham, she’s the whole damn hog. In fact, in a lot of ways, she hogs the spotlight, what with her hamminess being so magnetic and the fact that she is clearly the brains of the operation. But that’s not to say the others are bad.

Sarah Jessica Parker plays… Sarah. Funny how that worked out. She is the hot and dumb one, and boy oh boy does she play that role to perfection, though of course she does manage to be creepy and sinister when the scene calls for it – that song of hers has become iconic for a reason.

Finally we come to Mary, played by none other than Peggy Hill herself, Kathy Najimy. Najimy does a great job, she plays her role well, but out of the three I feel like she has the most trouble standing out. Which isn’t to say she’s bad, far from it – she doesn’t have the bombastic personality of Winifred nor the complete ditziness of Sarah.

Here’s the thing, though: if any of these three weren’t here, or weren’t portrayed by these specific actresses, they’d fall apart, the movie would fall apart, game over man, game over! The film only works because these three have such great chemistry, such great interactions, and such great weirdness to them that if even one of them were gone or they just weren’t in synch, things would be a lot less fun.

Motivation/Goals: Like most evil witches in fiction, these three want children, specifically so that they can drain their vitality with a magic potion so that they can be young and powerful forever. This gets them hanged 300 years before the main story starts, and when they come back, they reuse this goal with a bit more urgency: they now need to drain the vitality from children before the sun rises and turns them to dust, as their resurrection is set to only last a single night otherwise. Frankly, the fact that their goal is killing and sucking the life out of children is the only thing that’s keeping the audience from rooting for them, because the actual protagonists of this film are so unremarkable and cliché that it’s pretty hard to want to see them stop the funny and charismatic witches,

Personality: Winifred is clearly the one who got all the brains, which makes sense as she is the leader. She’s a lot quicker on the uptake and realizes things more quickly than her ditzier sisters, as well as a lot more proactive and pragmatic in general. She does the spellcasting, she brews the potions, she just inhabits the role of leader naturally. It helps that of the three she has the most outwardly intimidating presence.

Mary is the middle child, and her personality is somewhere between the two sisters: she’s ditzy, but not to Sarah’s level, and she’s got some common sense and wits, but definitely not on Winifred’s level. This is kind of why I said she has a hard time sticking out personality-wise before, as she’s the epitome of the awkward middle child. However, she does excel at her role as a predatory child tracker, able to sniff out their victims with ease. It’s also implied, but not outright stated, that she’s a much bigger eater than her sisters; she is noticeably chunkier than the others, after all. And considering their diet… it’s definitely not a good idea to undersell that Mary is definitely a wicked witch.

Then we come to Sarah, who is an absolute ditz and the epitome of a dumb blonde… and yet, she is also one of the most dangerous, as she has a sort of siren-like power to draw children to her with her singing. In fact, while she does come off as a ditzy goofball for the most part, her interactions with children paint a rather… uncomfortable picture, one that reveals her true nature.

I think it’s worth noting that despite how ditzy both Mary and Sarah are, both of them also have the common sense to point out to Winifred that, when Sarah has called numerous children to their house, they really don’t need to bother with the protagonists anymore. In this moment, Winifred decides to reject common sense and go after them because one of the heroes called her ugly. It sort of highlights just how petty and irrational Winifred can be, and how despite her disdain for her sisters, she’s really not so different from them in the end. It’s also worth noting that Mary and Sarah, while clearly evil due to their association with Winifred, are actually pretty nice and mostly harmless otherwise, to the point where you could make a case that without Winifred around, they’d probably not be villains at all.

But if that were the case, we wouldn’t have a movie, and then we wouldn’t be here, huh?

Final Fate: Of course these three fail to suck out any vitality by sunrise, with Winifred’s stupid little vendetta damning her and her sisters. The rays of the sun turn Winifred to a statue and cause Sarah and Mary to explode, with Mary even getting a moment to wave goodbye in resigned sadness as she bursts into a dust cloud. After her sisters are gone, Winifred’s statue explodes spectacularly.

Best Scene: I don’t think there’s really anything that comes close to the sister’s spellbinding performance of “I Put a Spell On You,” at least in regards to all three of them together. I mean, if you get a singer like Bette Midler to star as a villain in your movie, why would you not have her sing? Only a complete hack who doesn’t know how to properly utilize actors would waste a singer in a role where they don’t sing.

The thing is, these three are together all the time, so there’s not much room for individual moments for them to shine otherwise… or there wouldn’t be, if they didn’t showcase Sarah’s absolutely terrifying power, leading her number “Come Little Children” to being her standout moment, and the moment that really drives home the incredibly uncomfortable undertones she exudes.

Best Quote: I think Winifred gets the best quote in the whole movie, which occurs when her zombified ex Billy Butcherson (played by Doug Jones, who you may remember for his critically acclaimed role as Mac Tonight in the McDonald’s ads). Billy tells her to go to hell, and she retorts with: “Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.”

Sarah, of course, has her villain song: “Come little children, I'll take thee away / Into a land of enchantment / Come little children, the times come to play / Here in my garden of magic.”

And, unfortunately, in this regard I think Mary gets the shaft. Despite her definitely being funny and entertaining, she just doesn’t have the same level of standout quotes as her sisters.

Final Thoughts & Score: So as I was writing this, I was thinking of what their score could possibly be. I thought I’d probably have to lower their score, because aside from them, this movie is just corny early 90s cheese… but then I thought, what’s wrong with that? And why should these three suffer a lower score due to the rest of the movie’s failings? That isn’t their fault. Hell, these three are the reason to watch the movie. If anything, the movie’s failings are drowned out by just how charismatic and enjoyable they are to watch.

Much like their fellow child-hating hag the Grand High Witch, the Sanderson sisters are blessed with fun, funny, charismatic actors who aren’t afraid to ham things up and know just what kind of move they’re in and absolutely revel in it. They saw they were playing three stereotypical fairy tale witches and decided to have a blast with it, and in doing so they managed to transform an otherwise corny Disney film into the Halloween legend that this film is. I wouldn’t say these three are particularly deep or complex, but they have a very fun dynamic and add a lot of spice to an otherwise bland plot. Between them and Doug Jones, they give you a lot of reasons to come back and watch this film over and over.

Obviously, these three are getting a 9/10, only held back from a perfect score because yes, sometimes the camp can be a bit much, even for me. But I’m just not heterosexual enough to give these three ladies anything lower. I still have to unfortunately say Mary is the weak link here, but it’s only comparatively speaking, and I’d probably bump these three down to a 7 if she wasn’t here. I really can’t stress enough that there dynamic is so utterly important that even one of them not being there would spoil things. They just don’t make evil trios like this anymore.

[acuppellarp]

Welcome (again) to A Cup-pella, Jeanne! We’re excited to have you and Haley Sterling in the game! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours. 

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Jeanne Age: 25 Timezone: EST Ships: Haley/Chemistry, Haley/Nerdiness Anti-Ships: Haley/NoChem

IC INFO

Full Name: Haley Nicole Sterling Face Claim: Virginia Gardner Age/Birthday: 23 / September 17, 1995 Occupation: Part-time acup barista, part-time level 1 instructor through NYC Ultra Gymnastics, part-time student at NYU, defender for April’s Showers Personality: Competitive, impulsive, determined, naive, ditzy Hometown: San Francisco, CA

Bio:

Oh, the Sterling family. If there was ever a group more fitted for a reality TV show on TLC, it was them. That’s how an outsider would see it, at least. For Haley, it was just her family. The first few years of her life were spent loving her parents and little sister, and then her second mom and her second dad came into the picture. Whenever she went over to her friends houses growing up, they introduced her to their parents. Haley did the same, it just so happened she had a few more parents than them. It wasn’t the picture that she saw on TV, but that didn’t really matter. She had a family that loved and doted on her, that’s what mattered. She was an incredibly content child - set her out in the backyard to run around and play, and she was a happy camper. Or set her up in her bedroom, playing with her little sister (once upon a time, Jemma really did play with barbie dolls properly). She was content, and she was friendly, always running up to strangers and asking if they wanted to be her friend. Needless to say, her parents had to have the stranger danger talk with her more times than she can count, but the fact remains that Haley has always been a people person, easily able to settle into a crowd.

Dedication isn’t a word many people would associate with Haley even today, and it never has been. She comes across as having her head in the clouds 9 times out of 10 and she wasn’t exactly a contender for valedictorian. She’s not the person you to go if you’re looking for reliability, and that’s why a lot of people are thrown off when they find out she’s been honing her skills as a gymnast since the age of 4. It wasn’t some kind of “love at first sight” moment, where Haley knew she wanted to make it her life from day one. On the contrary, she remembers crying in frustration when she couldn’t get a somersault down as easily as the other kids in her class (granted it was within the first week of classes, but Haley’s child mind didn’t care about that).

That’s why it was so invigorating when she finally nailed it by week two… Haley’s never been known for her patience, you see, but the one thing she’s got going for her is that she doesn’t quit. She doesn’t quit because of that same excitement she got when she perfected that first somersault right, followed by her first cartwheel, her first handstand, mastering her first forward tuck and everything over the next few years as she climbed up the levels. She was 8 years old, level 9, when she got her first first place award on the uneven bars, subsequently helping her team take home the win as well. That, my friends, is when Haley fell in love with the sweet taste of victory.

There wasn’t time for Haley to ever cultivate many other areas of extracurricular interest. She’d arrive at school an hour before classes started to make use of the gym’s empty weight room for strength and conditioning, and immediately after school she would make her way down to the gymnastics center for more hours worth of practice. Her dedication and prowess in the sport are what helped her lock in a scholarship offered by NYC Ultra, a gymnastics club located not too far away from NYU’s campus. The school itself didn’t have a gymnastics program, but NYC Ultra had scouted her during her final meet during high school and offered to help fund her higher education if she joined their team upon moving. And its a good thing they did, because her grades certainly wouldn’t be earning her any academic scholarships.

Leaving her family had her balling like a baby, but Haley found herself settling in to New York City life eventually. It was a much different pace than San Francisco, that was for sure. Still, Haley prides herself on never really feeling like a fish out of water, especially since she quickly made friends with the other members of her gym and then at school. Her decision to major in social work was based in her family’s own unconventional-but-still-good history, and as much as she struggled to maintain her school, practice, and work schedules, she did find herself liking the course she was on. She was a full-time student for her first two years, but recently after much debate and guidance from people significantly smarter than her, Haley made the choice to go from full-time student to part-time student.

At the same time, she also made the decision to retire from competing in gymnastics and try her hand at coaching, something she’s discovered a love for. She’s now certified to teach entry-level gymnastics, and she thinks she’s found a good balance to her life. It also lost her her academic scholarship, but with the time she’s freed up from her previously strict practice schedule and full-time course-load, it’s all been a relief. She can study without feeling pressured to make it a priority, and is able to both work and be involved in athletics at a pace that lets her enjoy herself rather than feeling constantly stressed. Sure her schedule is pretty packed, but it’s all things that bring her happiness, so it’s worth it.

See, the thing with Haley is that if she isn’t interested in something, it falls to the wayside. But once she finds her passion and groove, she is all in. That’s the reason why she can’t sit through an algebra class without daydreaming, but she’ll give you a point-by-point breakdown of why Laurie Hernandez should’ve taken the gold for the Women’s balance beam during the 2016 Olympics, or make an entire PowerPoint on why Digimon trumps Pokemon (she’s still gotta catch ‘em all though, make no mistake). She knows what she loves and doesn’t waste her time or energy on things that won’t end up bringing her personal happiness and fulfillment. Is that a good way to be successful in life? Probably not, but has it helped Haley get through the last 23 years with minimal sadness and reason to say she didn’t give something her all? Absolutely, 100%, a thousand times yes.

Pets: Haley has had iced coffees last longer than some goldfish. She’s pretty much given up on trying to keep any kind of pet alive at this point, so instead she has her bedroom windowsill decorated with succulents. They’re less likely to ruin her carpet and lose her her deposit.

Relationships:

Jemma Sterling — She’s the first person to admit that Jemma is far from perfect, but she’ll also attempt to rip anyone’s head off who dares insult or undersell her baby sister. Watch it, folks. Haley adores Jemma, even if she does worry her from time to time with just how… we’ll say just how “free” she can be. It’s probably not the best idea, but she trusts Jemma wholeheartedly. In a way, Haley is a little envious of how open her sister is with everything, but that’s a story for another time. She still loves her to the moon and back and then to the moon and back again.

Blair Anderson — Haley and Blair dated for a short time, but that didn’t make it hurt any less when the broke up. Or at least Haley calls it a break up — she won’t say it out loud, but a part of her felt completely jilted and forgotten about when Blair went on her cruise. It’s been months since they’re brief fling, and while Haley hates being anything less than UBER SUNSHINE HAPPINESS, she’s also still angry with Blair. Could she suck it up and just talk to her to get resolution? Of course she could. Has she? Absolutely not, Haley lacks that kind of foresight for common sense.

April’s Showers — Even though she replaced being on a gymnastics team with coaching, Haley did miss the extra boost of athleticism that came with constantly being in practice. She got the idea to join April’s soccer team from her sister, and it’s definitely been a big help in keeping her endorphin levels high and her laziness levels low. It feeds in to her competitive nature, and she digs almost everyone on the team so far. Being on the same team as her sister means they have to share the family brain cell at the same time, but Haley’s enjoying herself.

EXTRA INFO

mmmhalebop ☄️ / HaleyStorm / i’m secretly the fourth member of Hanson

Five latest tweets:

@HaleyStorm: @marvelstudios pls call my insurance company and tell them you’ll cover the surgery to have the heart you ripped out of my chest replaced @HaleyStorm: manny santos hiking up her thong will always be iconic #whateverittakes @HaleyStorm: #gymnastsecret - if you see me hold a position on the bar too long, it’s bc i 100% blanked on the rest of the routine @HaleyStorm: tba @HaleyStorm: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! guess who just saw a dog, me it was me you don’t have to guess

[the-synergized-heroes]

Reboot - Part 4: ACTIVATED

A simple breeze over the trees, a cold but clear night, and a villain base rising through the forest like a knife through skin. A steel-spire, likely assembled using some combination of quirks, was only illuminated by a handful of spotlights and a few blinking diodes running up the side of the base itself. Guards walked along the outer wall or on the surrounding grounds, armed with off-brand support weapons or their own variety of quirks. In hindsight, calling it a “villain base” was a bit of an undersell. It was a fortress. A monument to some evil ambition.

And they were here to dismantle it.

A young woman put her hands together.

“Wideband Jam – 40 KM.” She said, a faint static hum pulsed through the air before growing silent again. She nodded at the other young heroes among her, and they moved out.

East Wall.

A guard looks past the trees, bored, a little tired, and drifts his gaze back towards the wall. A search light flickers for a moment but that’s nothing to worry about. He looks across at the other guards, focused and ready, before rolling his eyes and tilting his head back towards the trees.

CLUNK! CLINK CLING CLINK CLINK!

His head snapped back towards the guards, one of them with a clump of shiny rectangular rocks around his head. The other raising his weapon and pointing towards the tree line.

“Call-“ He managed say before a similar clump formed around his head. The now very awake guard turned to leap off the wall, clutching his radio, but watched the world go dark, his head encased and breath quic kly growing shallow. As he faded, he felt the rocks shift.

It felt like they were smiling.

North Wall.

Guards along the main grounds rush towards another on the ground, fallen backwards off the wall.

“I-I’m fine I just got really hot and lightheaded-,” he said before sneezing on the guard helping him.

“IDIOT! You have a cold; you’ve been on too much night duh-duh-duuuh CHU!” He said through a sneeze.

He watched as the other guards started stumbling, sweating heavily. Many began sneezing and coughing, some vomiting where they stood before falling over in a heap. He raised a fist dripping black oil toward the wall, just in time to watch a net descend on them all and a faint girl’s voice say “sorry.”

West Wall.

“I can’t reach anyone from the East or North end of the perimeter. We need to sound the-“ Her body was yanked towards the outer wall, and soon pinned against it. Any metal on them or loose on the grounds was yanked out and pulled towards the wall, clumping more and more guards against it, a notably pompous laugh rising through the trees.

South Wall was where the fun began.

A burning flash from the tree line and simmering white smoke filling the perimeter. Getting harder to breath, the guards stumble to group up on each other. One runs through the smoke to try and fall back towards the main base itself. A swipe of a toothy tentacle in the smoke, something green leaping down and kicking an ally, glowsticks and music echoing from all around among the shouting, fighting, and screaming. More bright flashes, like from a massive flood light and the sound of some sort of rocket overhead.

He stumbled, sliding across something so smoothly as if the ground weren’t even there and ran into something hard and fleshy. His gazed up at the form up and stopped on a set of gleaming shark teeth glaring at him from behind a clear oxygen mask. He raised his arms as a fist comes crashing down.

A handful of guards ran down a hallway and before turning and aiming their weapons. A slow one stumbled around a corner and can barely shout “RUN!” before a wave of water surges around the corner and rushes down the hall. A main production floor of some kind quickly floods, guards helping drag each other up to walkways as the figure producing the wave skims along the top of it, circling the room.

A guard inhales and jumps out from cover, arm covered in thorns aimed down at the surfing young hero. He felt something sharp pierce his hand and came face-to-face with a red glow of a pair of triangular pupils. His memory falters as more pistol-fired darts enter his arm and foot, expert close quarters shots. She kicks him over a railing and into the water, her gaze following him down before looking out over the walkways, fights breaking out across them.

A golden fist connecting with some poor guard’s face, a human spinning top pinging between the railings, a wrestler punching the walkway and having the metal roll like a wave, knocking more guards into the water below.

A boy in a blue coat finished handcuffing a guard to a railing, his third eye scanning the guard before joining alongside Akira, his eye meeting her red, triangular pupils.

“Miss Step,” He said to Akira, his voice low and steady, “We are on-schedule, they had no idea we would be arrive here and no plan for us. The upper floors have the better armed guards, as we expected, but the rest of the floors in-between are likely empty. Your thoughts?”

“We stick to what we planned Loresight, like Palm-Sensei said. He didn’t want us here but between the rest of the war going on out there and the lack of support they gave him, he needs us. But we stick to his wishes-“

A larger villain fell from the upper walkways and landed, his bulging muscular torso bending the metal bar of a railing. The two responded to the loud noise but entering a combat stance before relaxing as a green mohawked boy leapt off the crumpled villain’s back.

“Dammit Guts! Your quirk makes you fearless, not reckless” Akira shouted, jabbing her finger hard in Daitan’s chest. “I want everyone to come back in one piece, no unnecessary risks!”

“Well sorry AKIRA! I didn’t mean to interrupt your boring conversation with MINATO! Seriously this codename shit is old, we’re not just fighting random thugs on the street! This is real shit!”

“And that’s why we have to do this right!” She shot back as space in nearby wall tore itself open.

A short, cloaked girl stumbled out, alongside another girl with x-ray skin and one no taller than a figurine. The figurine sized girl returned to normal size and to help balance the smaller one, despite her own shakiness. They were all breathing heavily.

“We…we got Palm-sensei and the upper classmen where they need to go,’ Rei said, still trying to catch her breath. It’s pretty crowded up there, the hardiest we’ve ever had sneaking around. But we got them. Now we just need t-to hold things down here.”

An explosion roars from outside. The radios crackle to life.

“Yah sounds fucking easy,” Daitan said, a massive smile spreading across his face as they begin running back to the main grounds. “Let’s hope Palm-sensei takes his time!”

A bright red beam burns itself through the combat lab’s center floor, leaving long craters of molten metal, steam rising from them. Aura Palm stands behind a pillar, sword in hand, and looks across the smoking crater to Douser, his fire helmet visor cracked. He body begins to slouch down his pillar, a trail of blood staining it.

“S-Sorry Palm-sensei,” the upper classmen said, exhaustion filling in my voice. “It sort of looks like a tank but this thing’s engine must be electric…a-at least now we know its beam doesn’t burn hot enough to c-cauterize wounds. P-Pass me another one of those guns, will you?”

Aura Palm cursed and tossed the rifle over. Douser unloaded the magazine and placed it next to a few others and a fire extinguisher, firing the remaining bullet in the chamber at the strange tank to keep its attention. Another beam tore into the floor. This time it scorched the back wall. He taped the magazine to another set of magazines.

Gunfire and shouting echoed away from them, Ziggurat hunkered down and bracing shots, her zigzag mesh of skin and metal more metal than either man had ever seen. Treadnautica stood behind her, carrying a bleeding Blow-Hearty and holding the rear.

“Treadnautica, get yourself and Blow-Hearty out of here! I can cover you!”

“Like hell I’m leaving ya alone!” Treadnautica shouted back. She stomped on a guard and threw her tread into reverse. The man was sent flying out into the legs of a squad just coming up the stairs and they tumbled down, crashing through tables and chemistry equipment.

“Yeeeaa, we’re with you Zig…” Blow-Hearty said, letting out a ragged cough. “Just need to catch my breath.”

The two girls let out bitter laughs, even as the gunfire hitting Ziggurat intensified. The two upper classmen were good and one of them was nearly bulletproof through quirk alone. But if that laser-mounted tank turned on them…

Douser took a deep breath, stuffing the magazines into his coat pockets.

“You ready Palm-sensei?”

“Send it, Douser.” He said with a nod, his fist shaking with glowing redish-purple aura.

Douser nodded and the two rounded their pillars. He tossed the extinguisher into the air, the tank taking aim as Aura Palm blasted. The extinguisher burst in a cool plume of mist just as the tank fired, its long slow burning path changed abruptly into a z-pattern, reducing the pillars they had been hiding behind to molten slag. The tank waited, its sensors looking for movement in the mist.

A glowing sword sliced through the mist and into a series of cameras near the laser, sparks and smoke shooting from the module. The laser turned to face the last piece of monitored movement and fired, Aura Palm barely dodging its tracking shot. He ran and slid under some sort of workbench as Douser circled the rear and tossed his device onto the tank. He pressed the trigger again and again as he started blinking rapidly.

“Wanna know why I call myself ‘Douser’ and not ‘Extinguisher’,” he shouted as the packs of magazines seemed to grow hotter, but always just stopping just before they could ignite. A set of rear sensors blinked, and the tank turned to face him.

“Because there’s more than one way to douse a fire!” He yelled, thrusting his hand forward. All at once, the denied combustion was returned to the bullets.

There was a violent flash, like a fireworks display made of a giant shotgun. The laser mount was all but blown to bits, its laser exploding seconds later. Debris littered the combat lab. The gunmen flinched and steadied their aim but were alarmed when they pulled their triggers to no effect, Douser now glaring up at them. Ziggurat’s massive form finally collapsed.

Treadnautica leapt over her as Blow-Hearty inhaled. His chest held its inflated form for a few seconds before he released, and a burst of air sent the men tumbling back down the walkway. A purple glowing flash roared up and past the walkway before a massive purple palm-shaped blast of energy slammed into them. They were finished. AP gently touched down between the incapacitated gunmen. He kicked a gun away from one of their hands, just to avoid any surprise second winds.

“I didn’t even think there were this many assault weapons in Japan.”

Douser gave a thumbs up from the ground and they regrouped on the main floor, staring down into the main chamber these men had guarded with such ferocity. Aura Palm scowled at it, a glass dome over a crater, high-powered light lamps blasting solar energy into in the chamber. A figured strapped into a chair with some form of headset over his head.

“So that’s…that’s what they’re doing to Dummy-Sensei?”

“His name is Synergy,” Aura Palm as raised a glowing fist. “And we’re getting him out of here-“

There was a flash beside Aura Palm, as he felt someone’s shoulder driving into his stomach. His feet left the ground, and he was sent rocketing upwards, just able to grab a passing upper railing. Someone who could fly. Stretch? What-

“SUNDOWNER: ACTIVE!” A voice shouted over an intercom. Several familiar voices chanted in response.

“SUNDOWNER, ACTIVATED!” A glowing figure stood where Aura Palm had been, its body vibrating between small fields of light. The light dimmed and Aura Palm’s eyes widened, almost choking on his own breath.

It was a guard. One of the several guards he had just beaten, face fully covered, strange gear on their tactical suits.

The other fallen guards’ bodies began to glow to, and slowly their broken forms rose.

“This war between the hero society and our TRUE society needs soldiers. Several facilities like this one exist, built by our vary weapons: duplicates, replications, construct makes, you name it. Your friend he is rather interesting to me.”

Aura Palm watched as the Synergy duplicates rushed the upperclassmen. He leapt off the walkway, pushing off a railing, but felt several hands grabbed his waist and slam him down into the walkway. He grabbed a loose pipe, amplified it, and started swinging. The voice droned on.

“Each and every copy of his has the same quirk BUT they’re limited to one or two other copies as opposed to your friend’s hundred? Why? And then it hit me: Resistance. Your friend stores solar energy and then uses that energy to make solar duplicates. But each duplicate only has a FRACTION of the total’s energy output. It’s why even when one falls and he gets the energy back, his capacity to make more of himself is weakened. But if you could somehow make up that lost energy, or say, keep it constant across every resister…well.”

Aura Palm was pushing Synergies left and right, clutching the pipe for dear life. One finally caught his wrist, becoming about a dozen more before slamming his hand down against the nearest railing. He yelled out in pain, the pipe clattering to the floor below, as the upperclassmen were swallowed by a sea of Synergy.

“You would be a god.”

[213hiphopworldnews]

On ‘Nuthin’ 2 Prove,’ Lil Yachty Would Be Better Off Taking His Title To Heart

Quality Control Music

Poor Lil Yachty. When he showed up on the scene with his Lil Boat mixtape in spring of 2016, he had all the makings of a star. He was colorful, optimistic, distinctive, and instantly resonated with young fans of the burgeoning cloud rap scene with his self-proclaimed “bubblegum trap.” There was just one problem: Nearly every single one of those traits is a capital offense to a certain generation of rap fans. See: The Joe Budden response to the cheerfully monotone rapper with beaded braids and unconventional style that Budden berated as being woefully out of touch with not just the business aspects of his exploding rap career, but with the very essence of hip-hop. It didn’t help that his debut album under Capitol/Motown, Teenage Emotions, premiered with a flop, vastly underselling its projected first week numbers and receiving lukewarm reviews.

So, for the past several Yachty projects and collaborations, he’s traded in the cartoonish bop of his appearances on Dram’s “Broccoli” and Kyle’s “iSpy” for the more brittle menace of his Quality Control cohorts Migos and fellow ATL Soundcloud graduates like 21 Savage, first on Lil Boat 2 earlier this year and now with Nuthin’ 2 Prove, his second official studio album under QC’s joint venture with Capitol and Motown.

While the confident moniker suggests he’s moved past the disappointment of his early career woes, unfortunately, it feels more and more like Yachty is desperately trying to do its opposite. Even the moody-looking cover belies the title’s message, which Yachty doesn’t seem to believe himself. He wants so earnestly to win the approval of his staunchest critics (approval that was likely never coming in the first place) that the only thing he manages to prove in this 15-song set is that he should never have been listening to them in the first place.

That becomes clear in the album’s far superior back half, where glimpses of the fun-loving, loopy Lil Boat peek out from behind the grumbly bass and stormy disposition of the album’s first eight tracks. “Worth It” is where he drops the faux tough guy facade that he’s adopted as a reaction to Budden’s grousing and returns to the sing-song warble that made the first Lil Boat such a joy to listen to. Interestingly enough, it’s when he controverts well-established rap tropes that he seems most himself and delivers his most standout lyrical performances as well. The beat whistles along as Yachty reassures a female companion that she doesn’t need to fit rap’s unyielding standards for beauty: “Baby, that’s alright, let’s take a trip out to the sand / I don’t give a f*ck if your titties don’t stand / I won’t give a f*ck if your lips kinda thin / You is still a 10, let me come in.” It’s an astonishing parallel to the advice he should be giving himself.

“Everything Good, Everything Right” and “Stoney” hum along in this vein, while Yachty displays superb chemistry with guests Kevin Gates and Gunna, playing off their crispier deliveries with the vocally slurry sound that initially got him slapped with the unfortunate “mumble rap” tag. It’s a shame that his critics couldn’t appreciate his unique delivery on its own merits, because the effect he generates with it is catchy in a different way from more percussive peers, but isn’t any less rhythmic or lyrical. In fact, it’s when he tries to live up to that “lyrical” standard that his shortcomings as a writer come to the fore and become intractable.

Alongside labelmates Offset and Cardi B on “Who Want The Smoke,” Yachty sounds pressed and half-hearted, barely mustering enough energy for a half-length verse, which makes “Smoke” sound more like a prelude to the eventual Offset and Cardi Everything Is Love knockoff that is almost assuredly in the pipeline of nonstop QC releases. On “Gimme My Respect,” he sounds preoccupied with earning something he never cared about on his intro, delivering leaden gun threats that nonetheless land with all the intimidation of an angry Welsh Corgi’s most ferocious growl.

If anything, Nuthin’ 2 Prove just leaves the listener with nothing so much as a lingering resentment toward Joe Budden and the rest of the “for the culture” brigade. Their near-constant harping on Lil Boat as the avatar for everything wrong with hip-hop in the streaming era shook his confidence and knocked his easygoing, multicolored grin into a cockeyed, unconvincing scowl. The real Lil Yachty is still in there somewhere but mired in layers of “real hip-hop,” mean-mugging cosplay. It’s a double shame too, because Yachty’s pioneering helped wedge open the door for true sonic experimentation in a genre with a real tendency to get mired in stilted formalism, bushwacking a trail for fellow sensory rebels like Lil Uzi Vert, Playboi Carti, Trippie Redd, Juice WRLD, and Lil Pump. Yachty was at his best when he was having fun and really had nothing to prove. Here’s hoping he can find his smile again.

Nuthin’ 2 Prove is out now via Quality Control Music/Capitol/Motown. Get it here.

source https://uproxx.com/hiphop/lil-yachty-nuthin-2-prove-review/

[acuppellarp]

We’re excited to announce that Jeanne has decided to level up Haley Sterling from a mumu minor character to a main character! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours. 

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Jeanne Age: 24 Timezone: EST Ships: Haley/Chemistry, Haley/Nerdiness Anti-Ships: Haley/NoChem

IC INFO

Full Name: Haley Nicole Sterling Face Claim: Virginia Gardner Age/Birthday: 22 / September 17, 1995 Occupation: Social work student at NYU, gymnast at NYC Ultra Gymnastics Center, telemarketer Personality: Competitive, impulsive, determined, naive, ditzy Hometown: San Francisco, CA Bio:

Oh, the Sterling family. If there was ever a group more fitted for a reality TV show on TLC, it was them. That’s how an outsider would see it, at least. For Haley, it was just her family. The first few years of her life were spent loving her parents and little sister, and then her second mom and her second dad came into the picture. Whenever she went over to her friends houses growing up, they introduced her to their parents. Haley did the same, it just so happened she had a few more parents than them. It wasn’t the picture that she saw on TV, but that didn’t really matter. She had a family that loved and doted on her, that’s what mattered. She was an incredibly content child - set her out in the backyard to run around and play, and she was a happy camper. Or set her up in her bedroom, playing with her little sister (once upon a time, Jemma really did play with barbie dolls properly). She was content, and she was friendly, always running up to strangers and asking if they wanted to be her friend. Needless to say, her parents had to have the stranger danger talk with her more times than she can count, but the fact remains that Haley has always been a people person, easily able to settle into a crowd.

Dedication isn’t a word many people would associate with Haley even today, and it never has been. She comes across as having her head in the clouds 9 times out of 10 and she wasn’t exactly a contender for valedictorian. She’s not the person you to go if you’re looking for reliability, and that’s why a lot of people are thrown off when they find out she’s been honing her skills as a gymnast since the age of 4. It wasn’t some kind of “love at first sight” moment, where Haley knew she wanted to make it her life from day one. On the contrary, she remembers crying in frustration when she couldn’t get a somersault down as easily as the other kids in her class (granted it was within the first week of classes, but Haley’s child mind didn’t care about that).

That’s why it was so invigorating when she finally nailed it by week two… Haley’s never been known for her patience, you see, but the one thing she’s got going for her is that she doesn’t quit. She doesn’t quit because of that same excitement she got when she perfected that first somersault right, followed by her first cartwheel, her first handstand, mastering her first forward tuck and everything over the next few years as she climbed up the levels. She was 8 years old, level 9, when she got her first first place award on the uneven bars, subsequently helping her team take home the win as well. That, my friends, is when Haley fell in love with the sweet taste of victory.

There wasn’t time for Haley to ever cultivate many other areas of extracurricular interest. She’d arrive at school an hour before classes started to make use of the gym’s empty weight room for strength and conditioning, and immediately after school she would make her way down to the gymnastics center for more hours worth of practice. Her dedication and prowess in the sport are what helped her lock in a scholarship offered by NYC Ultra, a gymnastics club located not too far away from NYU’s campus. The school itself didn’t have a gymnastics program, but NYC Ultra had scouted her during her final meet during high school and offered to help fund her higher education if she joined their team upon moving. And its a good thing they did, because her grades certainly wouldn’t be earning her any academic scholarships.

Leaving her family had her balling like a baby, but Haley found herself settling in to New York City life eventually. It was a much different pace than San Francisco, that was for sure. Still, Haley prides herself on never really feeling like a fish out of water, especially since she quickly made friends with the other members of her gym and then at school. Social work is a demanding field and it can come as somewhat of a shock that the ditzy blonde chose it as her major, but Haley doesn’t understand the surprise. She grew up in a very unconventional family that, despite the tribulations and disruptions later on, was filled with love for the most part. Haley wants to help ensure that other people get to experience that same level of love and support in whatever way she can, or at the very least bring them a sense of safety. It helps that she is actually able to focus on her major work better than she ever could her high school and general education credits.

See, the thing with Haley is that if she isn’t interested in something, it falls to the wayside. But once she finds her passion and groove, she is all in. That’s the reason why she can’t sit through an algebra class without daydreaming, but she’ll give you a point-by-point breakdown of why Laurie Hernandez should’ve taken the gold for the Women’s balance beam during the 2016 Olympics, or make an entire PowerPoint on why Digimon trumps Pokemon (she’s still gotta catch ‘em all though, make no mistake). She knows what she loves and doesn’t waste her time or energy on things that won’t end up bringing her personal happiness and fulfillment. Is that a good way to be successful in life? Probably not, but has it helped Haley get through the last 24 years with minimal sadness and reason to say she didn’t give something her all? Absolutely, 100%, a thousand times yes.

Pets: Haley has had iced coffees last longer than some goldfish. She’s pretty much given up on trying to keep any kind of pet alive at this point, so instead she has her bedroom windowsill decorated with succulents. They’re less likely to ruin her carpet and lose her her deposit.

Relationships:

Jemma Sterling — She’s the first person to admit that Jemma is far from perfect, but she’ll also attempt to rip anyone’s head off who dares insult or undersell her baby sister. Watch it, folks. Haley adores Jemma, even if she does worry her from time to time with just how… we’ll say just how “free” she can be. It’s probably not the best idea, but she trusts Jemma wholeheartedly. In a way, Haley is a little envious of how open her sister is with everything, but that’s a story for another time. She still loves her to the moon and back and then to the moon and back again.

EXTRA INFO

mmmhalebop ☄️ / HaleyStorm / I’m secretly the fourth member of Hanson:

Five latest tweets:

@HaleyStorm: @marvelstudios pls call my insurance company and tell them you’ll cover the surgery to have the heart you ripped out of my chest replaced @HaleyStorm: manny santos hiking up her thong will always be iconic #whateverittakes @HaleyStorm: #gymnastsecret - if you see me hold a position on the bar too long, it’s bc i 100% blanked on the rest of the routine @HaleyStorm: is crimped hair still in style?? asking for a friend @HaleyStorm: update - i am that friend and idc. get ready to see me rocking lizzie mcguire hair today #ifoundcolorfulextensionstoo