#they were all great

[just-screaming-into-a-void]

At stampede again gonna post my favourite cowboy names and why

- Chad Fike (It’s Chad)

- Jason Glass (That’s a material)

- Josh Jackson (Everyone in this relay was First Nations and had really cool names and then there’s just this)

- Ross Knight (Great last name)

- Kris Molle (Sounds like Mole)

- All of the Chanse’s there were like 20 of them

- One of the guys last names was Dyck (Nice)

[dykeomania]

i mean this isn't really the vibe of this blog but clearly i'm a uconn fan and uconn had an incredibly difficult season and so many people are so proud of them for even making it to the final four. they played skillfully and passionately, nika muhl is actually insane and aaliyah edwards is actually insane. they ate regardless tbh

[merv606]

Finally got time to answer those asks that have sat there for months.

Inbox is finally empty!

Thanks to everyone for the great asks - and apologies for how long some of them took.

Hope the answers were worth the wait ☺️🥹

[dismalswamp]

saw eyehategod live tonight in an attempt to make my whiplash from the car crash worse

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[swedenis-h]

I take your “I don’t remember my mother” and give you “Luke thought Leia and Padmé visions were the same person”

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[redstringredeye]

He’s just like me for real

[rogue-translator]

[miitarion]

[blakbonnet]

as an indian person, my favourite thing is seeing what people who aren't from here have done with my food; i'll go to an indian restaurant in a random corner of the world and they're putting oregano in their palak paneer or a balsamic wash on their naan and it's like "yes good tell me how you folded your culture into mine and came out with something new and lovely, we're holding hands across oceans bestie"

[wolfythewitch]

Do you think Jesus ever felt homesick. Do you think he missed his mom

[divineandmajesticinone]

4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.04

The first time.

[radishleaf]

i have no intentions in seeing the mario movie, but if it's anything like the detective pikachu movie as a fan of the series, i hope peeps enjoy the hell out of it.

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Council of lovefools.

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