#they're so unhealthy for each other and that's what makes the story work!

[revenge-of-the-shit]

So after seeing some more rancid takes + after seeing the results of my previous poll, I need to ask:

For what it's worth, if you think attachment DOES equal love, take a look at this post.

Second edit:

Attachment is defined as possessive love. If you start the conversation by assuming that attachment = regular, healthy love, we're already on a different page.

Nowhere in this post does it say that Luke/Leia/Han were perfect or even great parents/guardians

In any case, you can keep talking in good faith, I don't mind. I'm not replying any more though, I'm returning to my Star Wars divorce

[x1yun4]

10 Facts About Your Future Spouse.

Please like or reblog if this resonated.

Disclaimer.

Readings are to help you gain clarity and insight on your current situation and what you can do for your own benefit. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This blog has been re-edited several times.

Masterpost | Feel free to make a request | Intuition.

Pile 01.

01 — Physical touch, and acts of service are their top love languages. So, there's absolutely no doubt that this person is quite considerate in different ways, as well as physically affectionate.

02 — Furthermore, they like being helpful. They find peace in helping those around them in whatever ways they can, willingly. It's their second nature, but they aren't someone that can be taken advantage of! For most of the people within this pile, this person has a backbone.

03 — They love holding hands, cuddling, or even light touches. Whatever you're comfortable with! Although their love language is physical touch, they won't push it if you're uncomfortable with it. Even holding hands occasionally instead of often is fine, as long as they know you love them by showing it in your own way!

04 — Drinks coffee often, and likes macchiato specifically.

05 — They have a large family or a lot of people they consider family, blood-related or not. But, they spend time with their grandparents often or the elderly.

06 — Smokes, but is trying to quit. Started, but realized it wasn’t something they wanted to keep constant in their life after some time passed.

07 — Parties with friends here and there, but doesn't mind stopping whenever they're in a relationship. They understand that it's not something everyone is uncomfortable with! Of course, they'll still hang out with friends, but won't head to large parties with people you're uncomfortable with, etc. Whatever it is, they or you will likely bring it up so you guys can communicate about it.

08 — Extremely loyal to those they consider family! Doesn't matter if they are blood-related or not.

09 — Would do absolutely anything for their partner.

10 — Most likely a soulmate.

Pile 02.

01 — This person has had a rough childhood, with some problems that have followed them since. But, they are working on improving their internal state.

02 — Kind-hearted by nature, but happens to be a little bit selfish sometimes. It's not to the point where they seem egoistical, but rather as a way they can still manage to protect themself.

03 — Hard shell, soft nature. In other words, they might seem intimidating at first glance, but is actually a sweetheart once you get to know them.

04 — Polite, respectful towards everyone. They don't see the point of treating strangers they don't know the story of with disrespect or rude remarks, it's a waste of time. The only times when they throw out insults and whatnot are when a loved one is hurt. They don't typically react if something negative happens to them though, a result from how they were brought up or the experiences they went through.

05 — Doesn't bear grudges, but can set down boundaries when absolutely necessary. Doesn't hesitate cutting unhealthy and toxic people out of their life, especially after certain encounters in their past.

06 — They like cooking, and/or baking especially. It's something they find relaxing, and they get quite happy when seeing someone enjoy what they made.

07 — They find peace in reading books, so libraries or cafés are often a safe space for them to be. And, you might meet your future spouse in this space by accident.

08 — Has some ear piercings, and might have one small tattoo or an eyebrow piercing for some people within this pile.

09 — Communicative, wants to work through issues and find a solution together when there's a problem instead of being angry at each other.

10 — Considerate or in other words a gentleman, but I'm not specifying gender. They're willing to do a lot for you willingly without complaints. If they complain, it's most likely a lighthearted joke that they know you'd he okay with.

Pile 03.

01 — They come from a wealthy background, either through hard work or generational wealth. Will agree to provide or have a 50/50 relationship, depending on what the two of you communicative. As long as it works out and happens to be the best for your relationship with each other, they won't mind. Both parties will contribute in their own ways! Even the most mundane contribution like giving a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye will be appreciated.

02 — Extremely communicative, and willing to talk about anything for the sake of your relationship with each other!

03 — Cares a lot about animals, most likely wanting to own a pet in the future.

04 — Older, but for some people in this pile — the person will be one year younger.

05— They have a sister who they have a close and healthy relationship with.

06 — Has a stable attachment style, but doesn't mind if their partner doesn't. They are willing to work it out with them, and help in whatever ways they can without engaging in unhealthy patterns.

07 — Has a good relationship with their parents, and treats the elderly with respect unless said elderly messes with their loved ones or treats them harshly just because they are older.

08 — Protective, can be a little bit jealous, but won't do anything that crosses your boundaries.

09 — Understanding, and empathic.

10 — A very intelligent person!

[chikai-k]

We Need A Break.

•| Kaveh X Male Reader, hints of Alhaitham X Kaveh

•| Notes: So angst with the characters as parents right? I haven't written in a long time and all so this might be a bit janky in terms of execution. I feel like the ending is a little awkward but it's whatever, I just wanted to get something out 😞 It was originally gonna be Aether since my debut was an Aether fic but I decided I wanted to add my bbg Kaveh to my list of characters hehe also wrote this at 3-4am :)

•| CW: Kaveh is the baby momma🤧, male reader, cheating accusations, arguments, break? divorce?

Here we go.

It's unhealthy to subject your daughter to this.

She doesn't deserve to hear your problems.

You and Kaveh have tried everything in your power to keep the issue away from her attention, to make sure she can't see the cracks forming.

How Kaveh would tuck her to bed, holding back a grimace as he spots the time. He tries his best to stall, she can tell. Kaveh doesn't want to leave her side. How his sweet voice would read her bed time stories as slowly as he could, sometimes staring at her with soft eyes as he presses a goodnight kiss on her forehead. She is his baby. He loves her with every part of his being.

She knows something's wrong. She could sense it before but you two can't keep quiet when the arguments get heated downstairs. She can hear you two from the floor. She can hear you throwing accusations, hear the crack in Kaveh's voice when he says he's not seeing his co worker—but you just won't drop it.

"I see the way you two look at each other." You say, "I see the way you guys give subtle touches." You know that they're probably texting each other about things to do when you're working. "The neighbours themselves have testified that they've seen Alhaitham enter our home when I'm at work for fucks sake! Stop lying to me." You growl, teeth baring at him as your face is flushed in anger, fist clenching by your side.

Kaveh hiccups and shakes his head, "Please, I'm telling you, we're not! Why won't you believe me?" His hand is gripping his wrist and is tucked close to his chest as if protecting himself. He doesn't know what went wrong.

"Then tell me why he's been visiting so much when I'm out! It's not like he's here for our daughter is he? She's always in school, so what else could he be here for?!"

"I—I can't—" Kaveh shook, how was he supposed to explain? He's not cheating, he swear but...

"Bullshit. You and that Alhaitham guy—ugh—" You inhale, your hand shooting up to brush your hair angrily. Tempted to slam it down the counter but you'd risk waking up your daughter from the noise. Hm.

Kaveh eyes your fist warily. He never knew you as physical so he wasn't worried—hoping he didn't need to but with how the tension was going, he was afraid he'd get hurt."What's so different about him and me? Is it the muscles? The income? The looks?" You seethed through your teeth, blindsided by the jealousy that you'd missed the way he stepped back cautiously. "Or did you just fall out of love for me? Or is he secretly our daughter's real father?" You huffed, closing your eyes as you tugged at your hair.

Usually, Kaveh would give you a massage, whisper sweet things and gently pull of your fingers from your hair out of concern. But how could he when he was...scared?

"N-no, I love you." Kaveh hiccuped once more, "I..." He bit his lip as he couldn't help the the tears from spilling. He couldn't bring himself to mean it. It felt forced, like he was saying it to survive and saying it felt wrong. I love you is supposed to be affectionate and meaningful, not like this.

"I think..." He sighs as he watches you gaze back, once furious expression softening in realisation at what he was about to say. "I think we need a break. To cool our head...I'm sorry." He struggles to finish, flinching as you attempt to approach him. Right now, he didn't know who you were. Actually, he hadn't know who you were for the past couple of months.

He just needs some space to breath, to find the words to tell you why Alhaitham had been visiting...

[chaosxcrushed]

There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.

That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.

However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.

“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:

The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).

Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”

1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart. He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.

2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind. Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.

3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole. Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.

What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.

This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.

Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.

[tciddaemina]

What is the weirdest, feralest headcanon you've had about a character?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. fuck okay this takes some thinking. weird and feral, weird and feral, hmmm.

okay, i think i have one. i'm gonna preface this by saying that svsss is a story that brings out the weird in me - the characters are all so messed up and dysfunction and weird about each other and the world is so intense and strange that its very tasty to play with. like, both the characters, plot, and setting are all so chewy and crunchy, you can just sink you're teeth right in.

bc like okay (bingqiu and monsterfucking cw here, for anyone who would prefer to keep scrolling) Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe are so utterly weird and fucked up about each other. Like, full on dysfunctionally obsessed in a way that would be like horror story levels if they were with anyone but each other (yes, even Shen Qingqiu - he is literally so obsessed with PIDW and Luo Binghe that he dies mad over it, and then spends his entire new life orbiting Luo Binghe like a planet around a sun, knowing absolutely every detail of his would-be life and who he is and what his deepest inner thoughts and traumas are - like, unreliable narrator or not, Shen Qingqiu is every bit as messed up and intense about Luo Binghe as Luo Binghe is about him).

and that's something that's very fun to play with. like, their relationship is intense, codependent, obsessive, and like, a hundred other things that irl would be a red flag, but its fiction. i know some people don't like writing or reading about unhealthy relationships or stuff that in an irl situation would be concerning, but like tbh the fact that they're so messed up and intense is half the reason they're so fun to write for. (obligatory fiction =/= reality).

anyway so, yeah they have a messed up very obsessive relationship and one of the things that's sort of fun to play with is how far they'd go for each other. like, how far their affection stretches, and how that would influence their reactions to situations. and you know me, i'm a good fan of some of that eldritch and monster content.

bc right like, these two are utterly fixated on each other. just, utterly gone. and so yeah, headcanon, i feel like both of these guys wouldn't blink an eye at even the most weird, off the page monster-fucking you have ever seen, if the person was the other one.

okay so right - on Shen Qingqiu's side we already have some pretty eldritch stuff to work with. like he's literally a bodysnatcher who took over someone else who would have/did die, and assumed his identity and pretty much got away with it. and you can spin that up into something even more fun. like maybe Luo Binghe, being half demon and with heavenly demon blood, has a bit of idk, extrasensory perception or something like that. so he wakes up one morning in the woodshed to this immense feeling of just DREAD hanging over the mountain, which no one else seems to be feeling or reacting to. and it only gets worse when he's summoned to see his master, to the point where approaching the bamboo house is literally making him break out in a cold terrified sweat. and when he see's Shen Qingqiu he just freezes, because looming above his master's body is an immense faceless shadowy figure with a dozen arms, whose body is sewn through with bleeding golden thread, which runs down to his master's body, stitching the two together. and then the plot continues like normal, and this new not-Shen Jiu gives him the medicine, and Luo Binghe gets used to the feeling of immense eldritch dread and the plot plays out like normal with Luo Binghe still being like 😍😍😍 and still absolutely being dtf this terrifying towering shadow bleeding figure.

and its so tasty! because you can flip it around as well. Luo Binghe would 1000% willingly and enthusiastically monsterfuck for Shen Qingqiu, but Shen Qingqiu would also do the same for him (albeit with a bit more crisis about it, but only so far as him "not being gay" is the problem. the fact that Luo Binghe is a monster barely registers).

and so like - alright, another situation. Say Luo Binghe's demon heritage is a bit more intense than just 'gets a demon forehead mark and some demonic energy' and that when he gets hucked into the endless abyss and is forced to survive its brutal conditions, his human form can't tolerate it and the rest of his inheritance comes through. and you could play with a few things here - maybe something dragon-like (not in a, ooh this a sexy dragon person kind of way, but like, Luo Binghe is literally a dragon kind of way, scarred and fire-breath and dark edgy scales and all), or something a bit more demonic and eerie. but like, whatever you go with, the end result is that Luo Binghe is distinctly non-humanoid and deeply scary-looking. and so when Luo Binghe does claw his way out of the abyss, Shen Qingqiu is *shocked pikachu face* about it, because this didn't happen in the original. and idk, maybe Luo Binghe goes through a whole thing of visiting Shen Qingqiu in his dreams, and being very circumspect, and never actually turns up in person in front of him, bc Luo Binghe is deeply insecure and is certain Shen Qingqiu will be revolted or terrified and reject him as a monster (after all, he threw him into the abyss when he looked human, what would he do seeing Luo Binghe like this?). eventually it comes out and Shen Qingqiu ends up face to face with him, and Luo Binghe's trying to cringe and shy away and throw himself on his sword or whatever, and Shen Qingqiu is just like shut up! monster or not you're still my student! and anyway, Luo Binghe ends up staying with Shen Qingqiu again or something, and they do a dumb thing where they're basically speed running a long term relationship without realising (well, Luo Binghe realises, and he's tormented about it, bc on the one hand he wants all the affection he can get from Shen Qingqiu, on the other hand he's got paralyzing guilt about the fact he's sort of taking advantage) and it culminates in Shen Qingqiu finally cottoning on and having a panic about it (about the gay bit, more than the monster bit) before sorting it out and 100% being down to bang Luo Binghe anyway, despite him not being remotely human looking. And Luo Binghe is just dying, because like, you know a person really loves you when they love you even when you're a terrifying non-human monster, and Shen Qingqiu is discovering all sorts of things about himself, namely how little he bats an eye at the thought of doing some truly obscene monsterfucker shit - because it's Binghe, so of course its hot (nevermind that Shen Qingqiu is a bit too into monsters away, so is sort of also getting a kick out of it just for the chance to study monster!Binghe so up close)

And anyway this is how you get me idly considering story ideas like 'hey what if Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe got dropped messily into a scifi setting and Shen Qingqiu glitched on the way because of system and so ends up in a terrifying carnivorous!super-dangerous!mantis-monster-person!body, still dressed in his robes, while Binghe is still basically just a normal person who looks the same, and they get gently arrested by the galactic police who are like "holy shit what the fuck is this walking person-eater doing in the port, it's about to be a bloodbath" whereas Binghe, beside him is just like "don't you dare be mean to my husband, shizun is very gentle!" and anyway Shen Qingqiu diffuses things enough for them to get escorted to a fancy suite (jail cell) while things get looked into, and the poor people surveilling them have to watch in rapt horror/awe as Binghe goes about seducing Shen Qingqiu, who is sure Luo Binghe must be revolted by his terrifying new form, while Luo Binghe proves that absolutely isn't the case. Shizun is shizun no matter his body, and Luo Binghe loves every version of him, and is absolutely so so keen to get it on and explore this new body'

and so that's how i get to there, and then i have to think about the fact that the premise is so absolutely wild and out of the left field that i would have no idea how to justifying coming up with it or wanting to write it. so yeah, wild and feral headcanon - Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu are absolutely monsterfuckers, but only ever for each other

[meraki-yao]

My two cents on the story some Nick fans hate Taylor:

From what I've seen around they are mainly people who have been following him since before rwrb and if you look carefully they are often huge purple heart fans (and have a slight obsession with the "relationship" between Nick and Sofia) therefore I think that this hatred for Taylor derives from 2 things:

1. They hate that so many people have gotten closer to him because of rwrb but they share the support and love with someone else. That's why they always have to specify that for them Taylor is unemployed (unlike Nick), Taylor is not a good actor (unlike Nick who is the best around for the next 100 years), Taylor is loved only for his hot body and we are all envious that Nick is mentioned around as an actor etc etc. It's impossible for them to accept that people can appreciate both and one must necessarily be better and more loved than the other and they are better fans because they have been following him since before rwrb and they don't want him to still be associated with this film because he will never be "the sole star" but has to share everything with Taylor.

2. Racism. From certain comments they make it is undeniable that this has great relevance in this situation and I don't even want to delve into it because it's not even crazy it's simply disgusting and this is definitely the worst part.

They hate rwrb (but praise Nick as Henry and think he's the only one who did well in the movie) and keep making up this bullshit about how Nick hates the project, hates the cast, his body language says he was uncomfortable on that set, this is the only cast he hasn't remained friends with, Taylor tries hard for have his attention to be relevant but Nick just proves they have no contact and they need it to be true because that's the only thing which they can cling to to hope he doesn't make the sequel. Oh, plus Nick is too busy to accept the sequel and it would be a downgrade for him to do the sequel given the career that awaits him, unlike Taylor who only has rwrb to work and be relevant (all read with my own eyes unfortunately)

In short, I don't know how they can think this is good for Nick and how they can think this is the type of support he deserves and would like. As another blog said, we can't stop them, there are moments they become more vocal and mean and the more we respond the meaner they become saying things like "you get angry because you know it's the truth"

They treat Taylor like a monster, like he's a really bad person, they've done bad things towards him like doxxing and spreading false information about him to convince everyone what an evil person he is.

They say he uses Nick, before Nick's response when he signed the book they said Taylor bullied him with those drawings on his face all because they have this unhealthy relationship with an actor and they think they have some right over his life.

You've explained their (ridiculous) mentality really well, and frankly, it drives me insane that there are people in the world who think they understand one person's career/relationship/life when he doesn't know them

On the note of purple hearts, I didn't watch the movie and I don't plan to, but when I just got into the RWRB fandom and started learning about Nick and Taylor, and I kinda saw some comments from us, that's kind of... something like Purple hearts fans are mad at RWRB because of... opposing political beliefs?

Oh, also agree on the racism thing. Fuck racism man.

My one hope is this bullshit doesn't affect Taylor and Nick. I have faith in their relationship not to turn sour or blame each other because 1, it's not each other's fault 2, they're grown ass adults who understand how this industry, parasocial relationships and fan culture work, but if any of these shitty comments reaches either one of them it must hurt, and arguably hurts Nick more than Taylor, because these people are hurting your friend in your name. That's fucked up.

Again I think the best thing we can do is ignore them, block them and remember that we hold the actual truth: Nick loves RWRB, and Taylor, and Henry. And he and Taylor, on both sides, plus Matthew and a couple editorial writers, stated and showed that they are genuine friends with genuine chemistry.

[tillthelandslide]

Happy Valentine's Day 💌 - Ross Macdonald One Shot

A/n: hiiiii lovers. I know this is a day late but I was at the show and having the best time. But I wrote this recently and wanted to post it before it's too late. It hasn't be re-read since I wrote it so apologies for any mistakes I'm just eager to get it out (before I end up re-reading it and deciding I hate it and then deleting it). Hope you enjoy my loves and hope everyone had the best Valentine's day ❤️

Her and Gabbriette have been hiding away in the kitchen of the current venue for around an hour now. Their giggles can be heard a mile away and the sound brings a smile to Matty and Ross' faces.

Y/n is covered in flour, the healthy kind Gabbriette bakes with. Usually she bakes with the most unhealthy of ingredients but today she agreed to follow one of Gabriette's recipes.

One disagreement between the two friends ended in laughter like every single one of their disagreements did. They couldn't stay mad at each other for too long. This time the disagreement had caused them to childishly throw said 'healthy' ingredients around the kitchen, flour and sugar landing on each other.

They both hear two sets of laughter and both turn their heads quickly to the noise.

"What is going on here?" Matty says, reaching for one of the heart shaped cookies the girls had baked. Gabbriette is quicker than him and gently slaps his hand away.

"Ah! They're not finished yet" she says, moving the cookies away from her boyfriend, allowing them to cool a little longer.

Y/n is quiet now, her laughter silenced by the presence of Ross, who hadn't taken his eyes off her, or the little patch of sugar resting above her lip.

Things between the pair had been a little odd recently. But to explain that we'd have to go back in our story, just a little bit.

Y/n had been Matty's best friend for years, which meant, she had also been in the rest of the band's lives for years. Things between y/n and Ross had always been... Complicated. He was smitten from day one, hiding his feelings for years until one day, one day quite recently, they had all come boiling over the surface.

Matty had introduced his best friend to his girlfriend, the pair becoming very close, very quickly, much to Matty's happiness. But the presence of Gabbriette caused y/n to slip from Ross' life slowly.

She wasn't around as much, always with Gabriette at some event or spending time in the trendiest of places.

Of course it made the times she was around better. He missed her and when she was here, chilling backstage with him and the band, he was content. She had arrived at this particular show with Gabbriette, she looked amazing, dressed in a pair of leather pants and a black lace top that ended at her belly button, revealing a slither of skin.

She looked beautiful, she looked hot and Ross was finding it exceedingly hard to conceal his feelings towards her.

He had a drink before the show hoping to take the edge off, and when that didn't work, he had another one. Two drinks (on an empty stomach I might add) had his lips loosening and his carelessness began to show.

She was making herself a drink when he found her, some fruity concoction that he knew he'd hate. She smiles when she sees him, he makes a direct beline for her and if has her heart quickening. He wasn't the only one who had been hiding his feelings.

His hand rests against her waist as he comes to stand next to her. The action isn't unusual for the pair but the way his eyes flick around her face, glistening with desire and longing, well that's new.

"What are you making sweets?" The nickname was something everyone used to call her when they first met, for she would always bake them treats here and there. It was forgotten for a few years but was brought back with the presence of Gabriette.

"A fruit cocktail" she says, smiling widely at the man. Her eyes take in his outfit, he looked good. She always thought he looked good, but especially tonight.

"How vague" he says with a chuckle making her laugh too. She lifts the plastic cup to her mouth to take a sip, eyes watching him over the rim of her glasses. She can't help but notice the way his eyes linger on her lips a moment too long before they're finding her eyes again.

She lifts the cup slowly towards him, offering him some. He would usually decline immediately, already Knowing he'd hate it. But his eyes fall to the rim, coated with her crimson lipstick and he finds himself agreeing with a nod.

She lifts the cup to his lips. It's like they're kissing he thinks. The way he feels the slight stickiness of her lipstick before he tastes the sweetness of the fruit. Some strawberry vodka mix that he actually doesn't hate.

She pulls it away and smiles at the liquid residue that coats his moustache.

"Like it?" She asks. He can't help but think about the fact he can taste her slightly. He definitely likes it. He nods slowly, eyes following her hand which slowly inches towards his face, thumb swiping across his upper lip. His mouth falls open then and she feels him squeeze her waist tightly, saving himself from gasping or lunging forward and taking her.

"Sorry..." She murmurs, lowering her hand slowly ,"you had some on your moustache" his hand closes around her wrist gently, halting her retreat.

He shakes his head, silently telling her she didn't need to apologize.

"Thanks darling" he says, his voice is sweet just like the drink and sickeningly slow. It has her own mouth falling open slightly, eyes flicking back down to his mouth.

His hand slips from her wrist down to her fingertips, intertwining with hers. Tingles shoot up her wrist, all the way up her arm.

"You look good tonight love" his eyes drop to her chest, down to her waist, across her thighs before they're back on her lips again, only landing on her eyes at the last instance. She can't deny that it's not the first time he's openly checked her out, but he doesn't usually make such a show of it.

It gives her whiplash. She wants to clench her thighs but that would be letting him know too much. Instead she tries to speak but he cuts her off.

"Really good" the emphasis has her breath faltering, eyes snapping up to his brown orbs before landing back on his lips. He was smirking.

She had seen that look before, the dazzling Ross MacDonald famous smirk. She usually wasn't the victim of it though. She usually had to watch girl after girl fawn over him whilst he smiled at her like that, she usually had to pretend like her heart hadn't just shattered into a million pieces.

He wanted nothing more for it to be her. Every single girl was just an attempt to get over her. Of course it didn't work. It was impossible.

She wonders whether to play along, he was being bold and so could she. She questioned herself for far too long, wondering if this would change anything. She then realises she's just standing their like a lemon with her mouth agape and decides she needs to say something. Anything.

"Someone's in a mood tonight" she says suggestively. That certainly wasn't the response she was expecting to come from her mouth. She was being flirty back and he loved it. would this be it? Would this be the moment everything changed?

"Oi Macdonald" someone shouts behind them. They both turn, Ross letting go of her waist and taking a step back, a large one.

"Have you seen my sunglasses?" Matty asks, completely oblivious to what he had just walked in on.

"It's fucking miserable outside why do you need glasses?" He snaps, clearly peeved, he then begins walking away from the pair.

"Someone's in a mood" Matty says following the bassist.

"you have no idea" yn murmurs to herself, hearing Matty shout "oi dickhead we've got a show to do"

That was two weeks ago and nothing even remotely similar had happened since. But now he's here, staring at her as if she was the only one in the room, hell, staring at her as if she was the only one on earth.

She hears a squeal from Gabbriette and her attention is drawn from the bassist to her friend, who was running after Matty, who had just stolen a cookie.

"Matthew!" She shouts. She hears Ross chuckle and she looks at him again. He's then rounding her side of the kitchen, fingertips carefully plucking a cookie.

"Don't you go stealing one too" she jests. He places the cookie down carefully, leaning backwards against the counter opposite her.

"No offence... but you'd have to kill me before I eat whatever that is" he says making her laugh.

"Prefer yours sweets' the comment makes her blush. His hands find the counter behind him and he pushes against it, coming to stand in front of her, one hand taking in her waist. She flinches and he chuckles "stay still a second' he says.

His thumb finds her lip, smoothing against it, removing the sugar that's there. What she doesn't expect is for him to place that thumb, into his mouth.

"sugar" he explains, tongue peaking through his lips to retrieve the last of the sweetness from the pad. She laughs a breathless kind of laugh. He doesn't remove his hand from her waist but his eyes flick around the kitchen, taking in the mess they made.

"What did happen here?" He reposes Matty's question from earlier. Once again she's speechless, much like that time before, and it takes her a while to reply. Almost too long.

"Gabriette and I had a slight disagreement" she says, laughing as she looks around the kitchen.

"This is how you settle your disagreements?" He laughs, gently squeezing her waist. She tries not to react, not to make so much as a gasp but ultimately fails. His eyes fall to get lips again and she does the same to him, his begin to move but it takes her a second to register what he says.

"What was the disagreement?" All words fall from her brain, she couldn't focus when he was this close. She could see every detail of his skin, the smoothness of his lips, she could feel every single breath he took.

His lips spread into a smirk, dimples showing and it prompts her to answer.

"I wanted to decorate the cookies but Gabbriette wanted to leave them as they were... Healthy option" she explained, eyes never wavering from his mouth. She really hoped Matty and Gabriette were settling their disagreement the way she knew they liked to... Because that would buy her more time, or at least another 10 minutes.

She didn't want Ross to disappear this time. She wanted to see what would happen.

"How did you want to decorate them?" He asks, she swears he leans forward slightly, because then the lips she's staring so intently at are right there.

She stutters as she speaks "pink and red icing, something simple' she says.

Ross is fascinated by the way her lips move, so pretty and perfect, like a heart.

"Valentine's Day after all" he speaks.

"it is" her words come out in a whisper. Her eyes flutter closed when his lips graze hers, one barely there movement. She wants to lean forward just slightly, one slight shift and his lips would press against hers, just slightly. Maybe then he'd press forward more and properly kiss her. Like they've both wanted all these years.

"I think you should do it" he says, she's unsure whether he somehow heard what she was thinking or whether he means she should decorate the cookies (likely the later).

"open your eyes y/n" he murmurs, his lips grazing hers more now, bumping against hers and causing her to gasp.

Her hand flies to his shoulder as his other hand not holding her waist finds her cheek.

"Open your eyes so you can see how badly I want to kiss you. How badly I have wanted to kiss you since the day we met" he says and her eyes are snapping open then.

Neither of them move for a few moments, she watches the way his eyes flick between her eyes and her lips. He leans forward ever so slightly more.

"Kiss me" she murmurs. That's all it takes. All it would have ever taken. His lips find hers and it's everything.

Every hair on his body stands on end, electricity runs through his veins. He's kissing her, finally kissing her and she's kissing him back.

Their lips mold perfectly together, their sighs fall effortlessly from their mouths, captured by the other. He takes her bottom lip in-between his and she pulls him tightly. He edges his tongue across them and she opens easily, finding his and making them both groan.

He pulls away slightly but continues kissing her, only stopping when he utters the words "I love you, I have loved you for so long"

"I love you too" she murmurs. They hear two squeals from behind them, two. They both sperate to find Matty and Gabriette jumping up and down.

"fucking finally" Matty says making them laugh.

"We should leave them" Gabbriette says.

"He's been pining over her for years" Matty says as they walk away.

"Years aye?' she says, gripping Ross shoulder.

"Oh shh" he says, smearing his lips to hers again, she laughs against them before she's kissing him back with equal fervour.

"Happy Valentine's Day" she says against his mouth.

"Happy Valentine's Day, sweets"

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @promocodesorry75 @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 @insidemymind19 @zzzhealy @maybeiwouldlikeyou @at-her-very-foreign @not-alien-girl-v @sinarainbows @friedlandblog @momentum2023 @youlooklikeshitandyousmellabit (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊, those with a line through are accounts I couldn't tag)

[intrulogical]

shakes you. YOU DON'T GET IT GUYS!!! working through intrusive thoughts is one of the best sasi episodes for how much it reveals about logan and remus and yes i am biased to intrulogical but there is!!!! a reason!!!!

obviously beforehand we just acknowledged remus as one of the people logan debated against throughout the series but no THIS time we have to acknowledge how they're two sides of the same coin!! they r the same kind of character!! there's an implied deeper narrative connection between these two by how much remus KNOWS about logan's vulnerabilities and actively pushes his buttons more than any other side does to get him to snap!!!

to explain, one of the reasons this episode is so important is because we gain the opportunity to learn more about remus as a character. in dwit, we're just introduced to his personality— gruesome, random LOL humor, a bother. but what wtit establishes is how he perceives being viewed as a bother AND how his "random LOL" personality is actually more deliberate than what we thought it is.

one— remus is bothered by being ignored. "you're going to pretend i don't exist so i'm gonna pretend you don't exist" is the BIGGEST evidence of that, coupled with the fact that this sentence exactly mirrors what apparition!nico said to thomas. in fact, the fact that these two match completely proves that what remus is projecting onto thomas through nico isn't just thomas' insecurities but some of remus' as well. this is my first talking point on why i think remus and logan are different sides of the same coin. they are suppressed!!! they are LITERALLY fighting for thomas' attention in the episode.

and they both lose. holy shit guys. they r literally the sides thomas hate the most and they literally both lose and thomas doesn't listen to them and!!! ARE YOU HEARING ME THEY R NARRATIVE MIRRORS!!!!!

and second— i'd love to add that remus is proven to be extremely deliberate. people like to write remus as someone "who does anything he wants for no reason" but that's not the entire story. think of it this way: remus HAS left-field goals and aspirations, but he is extremely committed to fulfilling them, which makes him deliberate. his entire thing in wtit is to bother thomas as much as possible, and he stays COMMITTED to that. he has plans and he thinks and he's smarter than what most people believe. why do you think he had a notepad w all his plans written on it????

again, he IS a mirror to logan, not only in methodology but end goals??? like do you ever wonder what role remus serves as a side. and i mean obviously he's intrusive thoughts and we all hate intrusive thoughts, but in essence, each side believes they are benefiting thomas whether you agree with their methods or not. remus imposes his ideas onto thomas because he believes them to be beneficial. in this situation where thomas is at his lowest, remus actually serves an interesting role of being thomas' alarm clock.

what do i mean by that? what i mean is, so much of the series shows the sides seemingly finding a perfect solution for each predicament they go through. but in reality, thomas going through issues by himself is SUPER unhealthy and unrealistic. remus serves as a reality checker to thomas. the more intrusive thoughts thomas receives in uncontrollable amounts, the more thomas would realize that hey, maybe i SHOULD go see a therapist for my problems.

AGAIN, ANOTHER MIRROR TO LOGAN BC I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. logan is the one who imposes the alarms in wtit to remind thomas to do certain chores. these two are basically cues for thomas to actually RESPOND to his mental health issues, but logan is more solution-based while remus is more emotion-based.

AND THEY R WHAT, STILL NOT LISTENED TO! but the important thing to realize is that, w so many implications about them being mirrors, something is Bound to happen, specifically to logan, that would eventually reach thomas and slap him into reality. remus and logan share the same goal, after all— to be listened to and for thomas to recognize his mental health issues. when remus says "gee logan now you're speaking my language" after logan got mad at him, remus is saying "now you understand why i use emotion as a means of getting other people's attention (and i hope you know who to use that against next time)" AND THAT MAKES ME INSANE. REMUS AND LOGAN R INSANE. they r scary powerful as a tandem and may change the course of thomas' life in the future and PLEASE SEE MY VISION Y'ALL THEY R MIRRORS

[hajihiko]

If you feel up to it, I'd really like to hear more of your thoughts/takes on HinaKoma. I recall you saying that they make the most sense as love interests (aside from Chiaki, R.I.P. class rep) but you also seem to also have very different view about them than what I'm used to seeing. Your opinions and thoughts regarding the cast in general tend to be very interesting and kinda deeper? more detailed? than the people I tend to interact with, and I love reading all of them.

Ok so what I mean is basically;

Reading the narrative as a story, it makes sense that Hajimes primary love interest was Chiaki, as the game sets the two up as an investigation duo from the start, and there's definitely some intent there. The narrative sets Nagito up as this weird friends-to-enemies-to-respect-to-maybelovers, which is interesting, and I think the narrative definitely keeps the idea of Nagito and Hajime as love interests completely open (to the standard of the game in general). They're foils, they're a pro-deuter-antagonist knot, they have an interesting dynamic, a long way to go, and the story generally seems to support that, no matter what, they are Involved with one another, to a degree that really exposes how much interest they have in each other. Like they're a bit a LOT interested and it's like, inevitable, that they'd have a massive influence on each other's lives, even when it's not in the most healthy way. I think they are sort of inevitable together, and they gotta find a way to bridge that crevice and make it work, because its GONNA happen no matter how stubborn they are. And making it work is gonna be HARD, it takes so much effort and reflecting and growing and understanding, lots of heartbreak and breakthroughs, but by the end they're much more realized people and they Get It Now and can make it happen healthily.

(If they fail and get unhealthy with it, they'll be a really toxic and bad relationship that nonetheless cannot seem to fade away, and they keep trying to simultaneously understand and condemn one another to their own detriment.)

If they try and succeed, it was always gonna happen but they made it into a happy happening with a lot of effort and growth, and can have a fully realized relationship that could probably withstand most anything.

That's how I consider them Love Interests, it makes the most story sense and is definitely supported by the narrative (as much as any queer elements ever are, I guess), I just think it would be a LOT of work and almost unwilling effort.

(It's rotten work, he says.

Yeah, I say, it really fuckin is, especially to me, especially when it's you. I mean I'll do it of course, but Christ alive.)

It's just still not what I'm most interested in, even if it's the most narratively satisfying and I consider it an intentional hint at a subplot. I just like to draw what I'm interested in.

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: We Can't Keep Meeting Like This

Once a year, Aziraphale and Crowley meet on Earth to discuss the development of the reincarnated Christ child. The problem is, they can't stop having sex instead.

Length: 65,451 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: After Dark, Post S2

Triggers: Slightly toxic/unhealthy relationship dynamics

Read it here, fic by Ginger_Cat

*Minor Spoilers* I was recced this fic by this post, and was intrigued by what this face smacking plot might be. And oh boy, they were right. This fic is pretty filthy, I've been reading smut for years and even I blushed at some scenes (Crowley's oyster thoughts hello??). So be prepared for the smut to be the main course. But it's paired with a gripping plot imagining what could happen with The Second Coming. Actually a lot of the themes here I could see being worked into the actual canon. It takes a lot of what S1 and the book was really about and uses it in a very clever way. It finds a way to slightly mirror the Adam plot line from S1 with it's Jesus plot. There will be many twists and turns that you aren't expecting, but they feel so satisfying because of the threads that were laid all throughout the story.

Crowley and Aziraphale here are ravenous and desperate for each other. Despite all the danger and barriers, they absolutely cannot walk away from each other. It's devastating how much they need each other when it's never been more dangerous for them. This story isn't afraid to push them. They're not always their best selves here, sure most of it is pressure from Heaven, but that isn't the only thing that pushes boundaries. They make mistakes and hurt each other badly, but the point of it all is that they are willing to work on making it better. I love that this author includes safe words and isn't afraid to use them. A lot of fics will have characters discuss safe wording, but then never use them or explore what using them is like. There's angst here, but it's not depressing or too heavy. And eventually we'll get our happy ending.

Excellent after dark read. Remember this is porn with plot, not plot with porn. So don't be reading this next to grandma! You're also not going to want to put this one down, so make sure you can settle in and read this in one go. It's very much worth it!

Read it here, fic by Ginger_Cat

[tiasreadingnook]

FAVORITE AUTHORS AND WHY

[ A/N: These are based on my opinion, standards, and experiences only. The writers in this blog are those whose blogs I read religiously. I weirdly have a high standard on what fics I can read without cringing and these writers are the ones on the top of my list. This is also for those new readers that are still kinda confused about where to start and where they can find writers with extensive and quality master lists. This is a continuously growing list and I will add more when I encounter others.]

This list are blogs that mostly make fanfictions of the characters Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, and Sebastian Stan plays.

Please read the individual warnings, rules, and tags in each of these writers' blogs or fics. Minors dni.

@littlefreya - "The Eve"

When I was lost and new to the Henry Cavill fandom it was her stories that were the final nail to my coffin that will bury me 6 feet under the fandom. Her master list is everything and more -- smut, ddlg, dark, fluff, domestic -- whatever you want it's there.

@onsunnyside - "My Sofia Coppola"

Sofia Coppola is my favorite director when it comes to imagery and aesthetics -- that is why I consider Sunny as my Sofia because I SWEAR the first time I read Tarzan!Steve fic it was like a movie and none of her stories have ever disappointed me. I still can't believe I read her stories for free.

@evansbby - "New York Times"

I've said it once and I'll repeat it, I check her blog every day like it's the morning news. I am so obsessed with her stories it is unhealthy. She writes the most delicious and varied Chris Evans and characters fics which makes it exciting but also comforting at the same time because at the end of the day -- they're all daddy.

@kinanabinks - "Spicy Shakespeare"

I actually took a lot of inspiration from her in one of my series -- she is that good. She writes the most delicious smut with the perfect splash of angst, tragedy, drama, and smut that will satisfy that itch in your head when you're looking for a bit of drama in your p*rn.

@comfortcap - "Guilty Comfort"

My daddy issues FLARE TF UP when I'm reading any of her (ddlg) fics. Such a sweet writer with the sweetest, fluffiest, and sometimes smuttiest fics that makes me feel guilty and comforted at the same time ;3 I love reading her stuff after a long and overwhelming day.

@junipermuses - "Lizzy Grant"

Lizzy Grant -- aka Lana del Ray -- is how I imagine her fics would be if it was a person. Sexy, effortlessly cool, and so put together. The subtle but easy-to-digest plots builds up the smut so much that it's so satisfying to watch it all unravel in the end.

@buckycuddlebuddy - "hey god ... me again"

Her fics immerse me so much that she has me giggling and kicking my feet as I read them. She is one of the few "x reader" fic writers that makes me want to cry and scream and beg whichever god is listening to move me in the alternate reality where I am the "reader" / main character in her story.

@sillyrabbit81 - "Mother Nature Called"

I swear every time I'm on my period you will find me vicariously scrolling through her master list because the way she writes the daddies (ESPECIALLY SY) are so comforting, dominant, and caring that it just turns my heart, womb, and coochie into mush.

@angrythingstarlight - "Pandora's Box"

Once you open her master list you will read nothing but her works for days (trust me I've been there) . She has an extensive collection of works that are a top quality. Her works can range from sweet to downright nasty to the fluffiest domestic scenarios that will have you grinning at your screen at 3 am.

@hansensgirl - "The Witch"

I forget feminism when I'm reading her works. I cannot believe I'm giggling over a man bossing me over and controlling my entire life?! And she somehow makes it work and that's how I've come to the theory that she pulls some witchcraft shit when she writes her stories but hey ... I'm not complaining.

@pellucid-constellations - "All Too Well (10 minute version)"

She writes the BEST angst and that's coming from me whose comfort film is "Love, Rosie". If you're looking for a well-developed plot, characters, and story arcs that end with a lot of groveling, comfort, and a happy ending -- look no further.

[nothingenoughao3]

Why we wanna transition to Mad Scientist (or, revulsion and queerness in horror)

(Hi, @ash-eats-film! This is the thing I mentioned!)

Horror has a few baseline emotions it tries to inflict on the audience. This has been written about for decades, most famously by Stephen King, but the baseline elements most writers agree on are as follows.

Dread: Anxiety over what is about to happen

Terror: The fear of what is occurring right this second

Revulsion: Being forced to interact directly with what's happening right now

Black comedy: Being tricked into laughing at either the terror or the revulsion

Horror: The trauma response to what just happened

A great example of this can be seen in The Evil Dead II (YT link that doesn't include the full context, but does have the, uh, money shot). There's the dread of realizing there's something in the root cellar; the terror of when the Deadite pops up in the trapdoor; the combined revulsion and black comedy of Ash jumping on the Deadite's skull/the door, popping out its eyeball which shoots into Bobby Joe's mouth, and then the horror of what just went down rolling over Ash and his current companions.

Often, revulsion and black comedy go hand in hand. That's because they're tension relievers. The revolting thing becomes ridiculous, and you laugh at how ridiculous it is. This lets you settle down in the midst of the gore and death, just slightly, just enough to get through it... so the horror can fully set in for you, too, once it's over.

You also, often, question your own stability if you laugh in the middle of a gross-out horror scene: "Am I sick? Is there something wrong with me for laughing at X?" This is even worse if the villain starts laughing--now you're questioning whether you're IDing with the monster. Are you okay? Is something wrong with you?

Revulsion is often framed as the slutty member of the good, proper, morally-upright brigade of horror. We have a name for folks who seek out gross-out horror--they're gore-hounds, a term that is virtually always pejorative when applied to other people. We call certain types of horror "torture porn" or "gore porn", as though it is inherently sleazy and sexual to rely on this specific emotional reaction. (Note that we don't have "black comedy-porn", or "dread hounds", even though a dread hound sounds really fucking cool.)

Not to go off on a huge tangent, but I think the issue with media that overly relies on revulsion is that it's unbalanced, not that it's bad. A movie that's nothing but dread never has any emotional payoff. A movie that's nothing but terror never lets the audience relax back into their seats and, paradoxically, will become boring (imagine two hours of jumpscares).

So forth and so on: all aspects of horror rely on each other to survive. That includes scenes that make you go "Awww, sick" while nervously cackling.

Here's the thing: in previous generations, revulsion was similarly understood to be an essential part of horror, but what led to a revolted reaction was very different.

Lovecraft (boo this man! BOOOOO) understood the power of revulsion, which was the source of a lot of his strangest and most vivid descriptions. It was also the source of some of his most bigoted ideas working into his stories. The undercurrent of "non-WASPs are evil because they are repulsive" is as pervasive in his work as "the universe is incomprehensibly vast". You kind of can't get around that.

But there's another thing Lovecraft did to generate revulsion. He wrote a number of stories where an unhealthy focus on corpses, graveyards, graverobbing, and the like is, indirectly or directly, associated with sexual perversion. 

How many, you may ask? Off the top of my head, there's "The Loved Dead", "In the Vault", "The Disinterment", "Pickman's Model", The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, "The Hound" and "Herbert West: Re-Animator". All of these tales share certain themes, which don't repeat beat-for-beat in each tale but do overlap:

Male character becomes obsessed with dead bodies--whether that's stealing them, having sex with them, desecrating them, or resurrecting them.

He is comfortable around death and the dead to a degree that is unusual, sometimes explicitly stating that he prefers the smells/sights of death to those of life.

Terms like "fiendish", "hellish", "abnormal" and "perverse" are used to describe him; his gaze towards dead bodies or to experiments may be framed as "leering" or "speculative".

He is frequently a twink; often described as being frail, if not noticeably beautiful; he may recall being mocked for being "bookish" or "weak" as a child.

He is superficially charming in a way that gets him by in polite society, but not long-term nor in-depth.

He often ensnares an otherwise "normal" man to share his obsessions, effectively recruiting him as an assistant... until the "normal" guy realizes he's about to go on the chopping block (or, in at least one story, already was on the chopping block).

Their crimes involve a lot of sneaking around late at night, locked doors, whispering so they don't get caught (or they'll be killed), secretiveness, glee at getting away with it, and frequently, sharing the same living space.

The Unrepentant Evil Dude is often killed at the end of his tale in a way that implies vigilante/mob justice is at hand. 

The other may be allowed to live if he's very sorry and frames the whole story as being the fault of the other guy, or he may die too while affirming his horrible demise as just, even if it terrifies him.

(One could make an argument that Wilbur Whateley fits into some of these tropes. It's me I'm one)

If this all sounds very gay, Lovecraft probably would have agreed. He had as dim a view of homosexuality as he did on most other things that were Outside The Norm. In other words, we were supposed to see Richard Upton Pickman with his ghouls and think, "Ah, yes, this is a metaphor for queerness", only we were supposed to be revolted by that revelation.

This same attempt at revulsion can be easily read into Victor Frankenstein, and probably more Mad Scientists than I can name offhand (but feel free to in reblogs). Frankenstein's "crimes against nature" were connected to dead bodies as well, and likewise involved a lot of sneaking around, locked doors, and worry about what would happen were he caught with this naked man-thing he's keeping in his dorm. His crime, as with his parody character Herbert West, is creating life outside the bounds of heterosexual cisgender sex. This was meant to revolt readers' sensibilities as much as the whole cutting-up-corpses-and-stitching-them-back-together thing would.

This is why, if we're being honest, "Re-Animator" and "Bride of Re-Animator" are not necessarily gay… they're homophobic. This might be controversial, but stick with me.

I feel like Gordon and Yuzna were tapping into that old-fashioned Revulsion Handbook, including from the source material, which thematically linked Herbert West with queerness. (I'm using "queer" a lot here, but I would personally include trans-friendly readings under that rubric; I'm using "queer" in the analytical sense and not solely in the identity sense.) This means that, ironically, a lot of what we could point to as queer subtext is actually homophobic text.

This is reinforced by the novelization of the first film, written by a homophobe who got Trumpist brainworms later in life. He wanted to make West repulsive to the reader, and therefore, he tried to make West more gay. And IT WORKED. 

To be clear, I'm not accusing anybody, other than the novelist, of being a homophobe. There's a difference between possessing internalized bigoted beliefs which express themselves in writing, versus utilizing tropes originating in bigotry because That's What's Done Around Here. (I can understand why others might not perceive a meaningful difference.) Like the Cuzco lizards, this queerness-as-villainy is definitely a stupid thing ported in from the source material.

I do think that this is why everybody but Our Queen Barbara Crampton seems embarrassed or nonplussed by all the transfags pestering them about fellatio tapes. It's because they don't get why this thing appeals so much to us. It shouldn't. If anything, they should be canceled for having yet another queer-coded villain, along with a number of other plot choices of questionable taste (I'm looking at you, The Head Scene, and I don't like what I see).

Only, uh, it didn't work out that way long-term, did it?

I thank Cronenberg and venereal horror for this, in part. Brutally queer despite not being explicitly gay, venereal horror is what happens when the characters should be revolted, but aren't. 

This kind of thing is horrifying for crossing the line twice: first by being disgusting, then by having characters respond as though it is exciting, or sexually stimulating, or if nothing else, normal. They are perverse. They leer at the dead and the subjects of their experiments. And the disgusting monsters at the center of these narratives are celebrated. Their twisted sexualities are explored with the same brave frankness other filmmakers give to milquetoast cishet missionary nonsense. Their political views are given life and air, and usually, they're right. Their deaths, if they come at all, are framed as tragedies brought on by society's sick rejection of the flesh their brave experimentation.

Cronenberg's the dude who unironically thinks that Shivers (trigger warning for literally everything) has a happy ending. My man David's got subscriptions where others have issues.

Venereal horror has given us a new metaframework for looking at the repulsive, the monstrous, and the problematic and responding to it… differently.

Now here's another thing: Lovecraft likewise provided a structure for embracing the grotesque and the queer.

Pickman, the Decadent artist, paints photorealistic, enormous portraits of ghouls. Literal flesh-eaters. He is fascinated by them, comfortable with them. "Model" heavily implies that Pickman is a ghoul changeling--switched at birth with a human child. This leans into Lovecraft's ideas about heritability being a major source of horror, of course, and seems run of the mill until you get to The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath.

In there, Pickman appears again, but this time as a ghoul. He has cast off his human social shackles and joined the beings he loves, beings who understand him and support him. Kadath is notable in that the ghouls are actually... like... reliable, loyal, and morally good? Carter's opinion pretty much is, "They do eat human corpses and they smell awful, but they're all very nice and want to help me on my quest, so maybe they're not so bad (if not as good as the cat army)".

This feels like Lovecraft acknowledging that his entire approach of linking queerness, death, and revulsion is fundamentally flawed. Once you become familiar with the repulsive, it becomes not-really-that-repulsive-at-all. You can find beauty in it, and amusement, and love. Pickman embracing his ghoulish nature isn't all that different from Seth Brundle's overall lack of revulsion at his body's transformation. And it's not that different from what a lot of transmasculine folks go through, either.

It's not that transmascs, trans men, and/or transfags don't see what West does as crimes against nature. It's that we're all very fucking tired of being accused of crimes against nature. We're tired of not being able to look at socmed without finding accusations that we're disgusting perverts who sneak around behind closed doors to corrupt innocent, promising people to be our lackeys and partners in crime.

Hell, I refer to my wife as "my partner in crime" not because it's a cute way of acknowledging how well and how much we work together both in life and creativity. It's also because we could have been arrested for our relationship when we got together.

We were illegal.

There was a lot of sneaking around and whispering and trying not to get caught and "what if they call the cops on us if we're clocked". Can I tell my friends about this? Will they reject me or rat me out? Where am I safe? Nowhere. Best to lock the door and then check it again to be sure. Best to be very quiet.

Best to act like a graverobber trying to get their grisly wares back home before good, decent, Christian folk see them.

So when I hear "Blasphemy? Before what God?!", I read it as (whether he's ace or aro, gay or achillean, trans man or transmasc or genderfucked) a queer slogan of defiance, instead of a defense of graverobbing, corpse desecration, and non-consensual resurrection.

We're told we and our bodies are repulsive, so being told that Herbert is also repulsive makes him more relatable. Instead of wondering what the hell's wrong with him for shooting up reagent, we all theorize that it's actually T or has similar effects--because we're all told that T is a toxin that will horribly change and disfigure our bodies. He dresses in a three-piece suit for school, and instead of reading him as a stiff and overly-formal little freak, we assume he's layering up because he hasn't found a hoodie he likes yet. 

He cackles at his horrific creations, and instead of saying "What a fucking freak (anguished)", we say "What a fucking freak (affectionate)" and laugh along with him. Who among us hasn't taken apart our Barbies and tried to combine their parts with the Kens? What is a doll, or a human, but a collection of parts to be rearranged? Haven't we also been told we're freaks for rearranging our own parts?

We've already been told by society at large that we are Herbert West. We're just embracing it, in the proud tradition of venereal horror fans who are not revolted when they ought to be, and I think that's delightful.

[doobnnoob-tf2]

ummm,,, mr. mundy, do u have any hcs on how each merc would cheer themselves up after a bad day? if u have already answered an ask like this, feel free to ignore this :)

Scout: he goes and hangs out with some of the others, who he chooses is based on his subconscious needs. if he needs someone to listen to him, he goes to Heavy or Sniper. if he needs a distraction, he goes to Demoman or Pyro. if he needs guidance, he goes to Spy

Soldier: he runs drills, either by himself or with one of the others on the team. usually Scout because he's the only one who complains but still actually participates in whatever the hell he has planned. it typically involves long, quiet (Scout, quiet!) jogs around the area around whatever base they're stationed at. or if they have access to a gym, spending very long periods of time in there

Pyro: they're an escapist. they'll go to their room to do so, but most of the time that's not possible. and what results is Pyrovision, their little fantasy world where everything is sunshine and rainbows and things aren't what they seem. sometimes the imagination can get too vivid and they lose track of the reality around them. some people think that's what makes them insane, when rather it's quite possibly the thing that's keeping them from it

Demoman: he needs either a lot of noise, or absolute quiet. but either way, it involves him holing himself up in his room and making bombs or rereading the same old stories he has a thousand times before. he'll never read new books when he's upset because he feels it ruins the experience, so instead he reads one he already has positive memories and emotions attached to in order to feel those things again. though as more and more time passes working on the base, he finds himself doing this less and instead more seeking whoever looks the least busy and hanging out with them

Heavy: he'll go write letters to his family, even if they're ones he'll never send because he deems them too sad. those get stored away in a safe place until he wants to read them again, or for when he's ready to completely get rid of them. he goes in depth on how he's feeling, why, and so on. they're all very raw and from the heart and he simply doesn't want to send them and burden his family with seeing that side of him. he usually feels better just writing it all down

Engineer: he'll go to his workshop and tinker away on things. either projects he hasn't touched in a while, or he'll start a new one, or he'll play around with some of his other creations. or sometimes he'll do all three, or sometimes he'll just start several projects. the whole point for him is keeping his mind busy. though he's also not above setting up cans on a fence and shooting them for the hell of it either

Medic: much like Engineer, he buries himself in his work more than he already does. more to an unhealthy degree, but he prefers to run himself until he's simply too tired to keep being upset. and then he'll go crash and sleep for several hours. and then he just feels better. he's less likely to want to deal with his teammates during these moments, because he simply wants to be alone

Sniper: he isolates, whether he's angry or hurt or whatever. he prefers to go outside, hop in his camper, and drive to one of the many spots he's found out in the desert to go sit and be alone and think at. usually he does this late at night and lays on the top of his camper and stares up at the stars. he likes having the dark and silence all to himself where no one can interrupt

Spy: he likes to say he sneaks off and locks himself in his room and enjoys a nice wine next to his fireplace. but that's far from the truth. he instead goes to his room, cloaks, and then proceeds to spend the rest of the day invisible and simply following his teammates around to watch them go about their day. he'd say it's monitoring, but the reality is he just doesn't want to be alone but doesn't want to let anyone know he doesn't want to be alone. his usual picks are Scout or Sniper or Medic, but the others aren't free from it

the funny thing is, I feel like I've answered this one. but y'know, I just can't be fucked to scroll around and double check. so if anything contradicts the previous one I did (if I did), shhhh it's fiiiiine

[decepti-thots]

for character ask: swerve!!!

First impression: oh, a funny little guy. cool ig!

Impression now: I always like Swerve much more than I remember when I come back to canon. I actually find the fanonization of Swerve one of the most egregious examples in the fandom, often overlooked. Swerve can be quite abrasive, even mean! He is often careless and unthinking and even kind of cruel at times (think about Ten). These all make his character as the very isolated person unable to reach out and make lasting social connections far, far more interesting! And they are very often real responses to poor self-esteem. That fandom tries so hard to sand off his less pleasant characteristics so often is disappointing to me for this reason.

Favorite moment: This might sound weird: the very end of the Hedonia issue, when you realise no, he does not know Blurr. It's understated enough in execution that instead of seeming too much, it's just… legitimately this really sad thing about him as a character, that he's so without sincere relationships in his life that this is what he's resorting to in an attempt to feel like he does have that. Especially following that missed-connection moment a couple pages earlier where Magnus fails to notice his overture of friendship, it just hits right. Really great character moment.

Idea for a story: God I wish we'd had a real hijinks filler issue of just him and Anode on some ridiculous shaggy dog story of an adventure. Comedy gold right there. Would absolutely read twenty odd pages of them doing stupid shit together and pranking each other and whatever else. Something should blow up and they should be accompanied by yackety sax music, metaphorically speaking, the whole time.

Unpopular opinion: I come down on the side of actively disliking any attempt to making Swerve/Blurr a thing. Swerve's parasocial relationship with Blurr is unhealthy and that fact is important to his arc. He doesn't know Blurr. He once briefly spoke to a celebrity he made a version of in his head that fulfilled a fantasy that bears no relationship to reality; his finding genuine friends to replace that and grow gets undermined if you then actually put them together in any kind of legitimate interpersonal relationship, IMO. Swerve is not a cute fanboy of Blurr's, he's someone so deeply depressed that he will latch onto any unhealthy coping mechanism he can get! That's the whole point, y'know?

Favorite relationship: I really like the Swerve-Tailgate-Rewind little minibot group actually. They all bounce off each other in ways that are so fun, it just works. Swerve and Tailgate especially are great because both of them are little insecure assholes in ways that are fun as hell to watch when put up against each other; they're very well suited to their friendship!

Favorite headcanon: Swerve has genuinely tried to give Minimus pointers on making jokes- at Minimus' very awkward request, in fact. It went as atrociously as you would expect.

[wildflowerteas]

hella got through chapter 6 everyone cheer!

i don't know how to respond to this coherently so i'm just going to scroll down and let the word vomit happen:

the choice of emoji reacts to some of these . . . i'm surprised hella hasn't killed you guys. keeping gin away from this mess is the last thing on my mind, unfortunately *stares at the BEAST tag*

ARRGHHHFGHHH IM SO GLAD YOU GUYS LIKE SSKK. they're such a breath of fresh air, and writing them comes so easily to me. while i like writing skk ( fucked up as they are--even at this point in the story ) and the fast-paced nature of their relationship, this is romance writing work coming from the guy whose only other fic had a first kiss at uhhh...160k words.

yesenina did serve too hard. i imagine her as similair to the others, but with a Rita Hayworth-like air of ambition about her, and that's a serve. and it's what gets her killed.

Chuuya Yuan history coming in SOON. actually. Next chapter. seeing hella lose it over Chuuya's internal monologue here has been absolutely hilarious and kind of rewarding. I Knew All That because I'm the author ( duh ) so i never really grasped how strange the shift to Chuuya's thoughts about the relationship would be. I mean there's snippets of it, like the diner scene, but you're right, it's fanfic and so that is a lot easier to sweep under the rug.

ACAB. I considered putting a line from Doc Riedenschneider in The Asphalt Jungle ( 1950 ) "Experience has taught me to never trust a policeman. Just when you think one's alright, he turns legit." in a divider chapter between part I and part II, but I thought was too on the nose following 7 ( and a bit pretentious considering this is just ao3 fanfic and not a published work or anything ) so i grabbed myself by the metaphorical monkey backpack and didn't. Mafia Nepo Baby 😭 I love Hella HUGE WIN FOR ME. I was so nervous because i needed to balance Chuuya being observant but also quite literally *out of the loop.* He's not from the same world as Dazai--he's not involved with the murders or the politics or the mess going on yet. He comes across as oblivious at times because Dazai's POV is purposefully designed to make you see him that way. Dazai's so sure he's in control of what Chuuya knows that he doesn't realize he might have met his match.

ZSKK are uhm. yeah. all im gonna say there.

the "PARDON." IM CACKLING

argh. the switch up with this chapter...why the hell am i getting nostalgic for something i wrote less than two months ago ( ican't believe i've been grinding through this fic so fast jesus ).

i love unhealthy dynamics, truly. this fic was really a test to see if i could write soukoku making each other worse. which is a pretty stark contrast to my other stuff.

HELLA. OH MY GOD. that bit about their careers . . . i can't believe she noticed that. Chuuya started the fic genuinely ambitious, wanting the spotlight, wanting to defy expectations set upon him by his looks, his race, and his past. Dazai's a cop, sworn to uphold the law, but he doesn't feel like a good person. He can't ( interlude chapter . . . stares out the window ), but he can use everything about who he is to give Chuuya the life he wants. like a guardian ange--*gets taken out by a sniper chapter 8 style* Their original goals aren't gone, per se, they've simply been reoriented.

can't wait for chapter 7

i know it'll make Hella want to hunt me down for sport, so i'll sleep with both eyes open for the forseeable future.

[sageandred]

Some minor things I'm thinking about/predictions for season 3~

-some more (pretty unedited) things I think could happen + predictions I don't necessarily hope to happen; + talking out some frustrations I personally had (if u don't want to read anything partially negative)

Missy & Amerie friendship. It would be good to expand to some less visited friendships. We got a hint of Amerie & Missy once again and I could see them talking even more nxt szn.

Sasha and Quinni are going to be working together nxt szn, and I can already see how the writers might try to rekindle something, but I don't want that, obviously. I could see them making Sasha develop feelings again only for Quinni to turn her down or it could be an opportunity for Sasha to actually apologize after some reflection as they continue to go their separate ways romantically.

Ant has to find out Harper also made the map, right? (that's the direction it's heading in??)

I don't care either way, but if Rowan wasn't just a 1 season and done type of character, I could see them trying to explore a mental health storyline, and separate from that make him more likeable/building friendships with anyone but Amerie.

Critiques of the Season/What I Hope Going Forward

They really missed some opportunities with Harper. It's totally valid for 2 childhood besties to grow apart in some ways and come back with an even greater and more mature connection. Instead, they just had Darren and Quinni adopt her into the group when I wish they would've spent a season of her developing her own friendships and building up her relationships that will be beneficial going forward.

which brings me to my points: I want Harper and Amerie to spend some time apart next season. I don't want it to be dramatic and I don't want them to have a fallout. They can actually be friends without being attached at the hip, but I don't want the s1 trio to be disrupted when I think that relationship is very special (sorry if this sounds harsh), and feels more organic than Harper's outside of the one that's developing with Cash.

Speaking of relationships: Ant & Harper feels underdeveloped to me. They could be a great couple. I wish they spent more time this season giving them individual arcs, but I think next season they kind of need to go through something dramatic to have the kind of break-through I'm wanting from their characters. They're kind of boring to me rn (I'm so sorry Harthony fans). They could end up together or not; I'm just not sold on their story yet.

New couples-I like the development stage of new couples/couples you don't expect. Give Quinni a gf, ofc. Switch up some of the dynamics. Relationships can be a means to another end, and it doesn't have to = the previous being bad. I don't want a love triangle, though; let them grow without the drama.

They could show the journey of Missy dealing with a toxic man, or they could show Spider/Missy grow together (I really don't care); I just want development for both of them individually and their own separate arcs regardless (especially Missy-he did have his own large arc this season). I actually think it would be cool to show the slow effects of how things add up and trauma causing some unhealthy behaviors with Spider (it doesn't have to make him bad; he's like 18 and anyone could grow from a failed high school relationship/become a really great person, but I just don't feel awe when I see their scenes...personally).

I didn't add this point with them on my other post, but I kind of want Darren and Cash to each have new romances/flings. I know there is love there, but I think they need to find themselves independent of one another. Their relationship very much feels like they grew up together and prematurely decided they belong together what with Cash's long secret crush (which is fine, but..); it is absolutely cute, though their incompatibility and continuous communication problems need to be explored/they need to mature.