#they're very nice folk don't get me wrong!!! i genuinely do love them!!

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hi, I think this maybe constitutes a Wales Question! So, I'm English originally, currently in my third year at Aber university, and its reputation for "that place you go to study and then never ever leave" is looking like it's holding true. I've been living with two very good friends of mine who are extremely Welsh for nearly 2 years now, and in that time I've been slowly picking up bits of Welsh culture and language (it started with me not wanting to mess up trying to pronounce the biology building name and looking like an idiot, but I got very interested from there, and plan on taking a class after I graduate).

I'm serious about wanting to live here, I've fallen in love with the town and the country ever since my knowledge of it evolved from "dragons and sheep and funny long names on road signs" that I thought as a kid, and I've genuinely enjoyed being brought into the fold and joining in stuff with my friends, But. my friends are very adamant that this means I can Be Welsh, and I'm not sure how to take it. On one hand, of course I would like to be, but I'm not sure how much I can claim that confidently- I didn't grow up here, have barely lived here for that long, and there's still a lot I don't get so I'm worried about making it weird. On the other, I think adamantly declaring myself English instead and turning them down is very very easy to take the wrong way!

As the most vocally Welsh person I am aware of on tumblr, I am humbly requesting your take on this... would it be considered unreasonable for foreigners to claim Welshness, with enough effort put in to learning ofc? It would be very nice and appreciated to get a second opinion :)

Diolch yn fawr iawn!

Okay so obviously I am slapping on a HUGE caveat here that I am No One, I am just another stranger at the shouting match who sometimes has some thoughts about things I see and the ability to amusingly compare things to other things. What follows are the lukewarm takes of Just Some Person, and not to be taken as gospel in any way.

But also lol you did ask and I love giving opinions, I do, so let's gooooo

So first up, I do think you're slipping into the fallacy here of playing the Boxes Game with something that doesn't fit neatly into boxes, as indeed nothing about humans and people and humans being people actually does. The thing about national/cultural identity is that they aren't precise, immutable data points. 'Culture' is already quite a loose and ethereal beast - you're basically drawing a circle around a bunch of things and going "Everything in here is X Culture!", and you'll be largely right doing that; but, the edge of the circle isn't, in reality, a hard border. It's a gradient. The circle will overlap with other circles, too. And sometimes even the things in the centre of the circle turn out to be absent half the time, and it's all a bit messy. Really, it's a bell curve, and you're just looking to see what turns up most frequently, with the understanding that you only get the big picture from all the data points together.

Nationality is even fuzzier, tbh. It's a highly personal thing. I'm very Welsh - my Welshness, though, looks different even from other Welsh people in Swansea, and certainly from a Welsh person living in Caernarfon. There are definitely unifying elements; but ultimately, it's something you kind of carve out for yourself, both consciously and unconsciously.

And I bring that up because part of your question is, "At what point do I cross the line into the circle? How long do I have to wait and how much do I have to do before Welshness happens? When do I get to claim the label?"

And there's no answer to that. Not for anyone. This is an identity issue, not a hard scientific concept. Kind of reminds me of a lot of questioning folks in the queer community, in fact. Humans like boxes and labels because they're comforting, but ultimately, we fit in them about as well as angry cats.

With that said, though, it's certainly true that there is a profound and observable difference between a naturalised citizen and a long-term tourist, which I think is the root of your fears here. A Brit who likes holidaying to Spain and decides to go and live there but doesn't learn Spanish, doesn't integrate with the local community, doesn't respectfully partake of any local customs (especially if they condescendingly view the local customs as quirky or quaint, or worse, look down on them), who learns nothing of the history of the area or wider country... that Brit could live there for 40 years, could even go the whole hog and get Spanish citizenship. But they are nothing more than a long-term tourist. Part of claiming culture and nationality is that it's not a spectator sport.

But by contrast, if that Brit were to learn Spanish and use it in everyday life (even if they sometimes fell back on English, or used a funky mix like Spanglish sometimes); if they learned all the history, INCLUDING and MOST ESPECIALLY all the pressure points that mean a Brit in particular cannot do X thing or make X joke; if they integrate with the local community, helping neighbours and coming to community events; if they respectfully take part in local customs, and only add elements of their own culture after learning about the customs properly so they know which bits are important and which can be amended...

Well, that's a totally different matter, isn't it?

It sounds like you're in the latter camp. It's particularly encouraging that your Welsh friends are already adopting you, in the broody chicken fashion of Welsh Mams Everywhere, because it suggests that while you may be English, you aren't English TM (you know the type). So, that's a good start, and it certainly puts you on the path to Naturalised Citizen.

So at that point, I suppose it becomes a matter of personal comfort. You're certainly right that it's still, relatively speaking, quite a new facet of your identity that you've only just started exploring and developing. Learning Welsh, when you get round to it (check with the university by the way, Aber is very keen on helping students learn and can get you cheaper/free courses), will push you several miles down that road, because that's a big effort expenditure AND it will put you in touch with the second of Wales' two dominant cultures.

But ultimately, the label you use has to be down to what you feel fits best, and what you're comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with 'Welsh' yet, then that's completely fine - it's not for you at the minute. Put it on a back burner. Maybe use 'British' for now? In place of 'English', which is more specific. Maybe you can say you're "from England originally", or that you were born there but live here now; both of those are accurate, but also give the statement of intent. They make it clear that, as an adult, Wales is 'home'. This is where you're choosing.

In any case... croeso i'r clwb! And a thousand thanks for learning the language, and even just for the effort you've put in so far. Even just learning the pronunciation puts you miles above most English people, in spite of it being such a basic thing to do. It's more appreciated than you can know.

Also sorry this got long lol

[thatonebirdwrites]

So yesterday I went to People's Pride in my town. It's an event run by locals, where corporations and cops are NOT invited and not allowed. They want to keep it people and community focused, so that our talents are on display. A way for us to bring back the aims of the original pride (before corporations and cops took it over).

The only reason I decided to go was because it's a mask-mandated event (thank heavens, we're in the pandemic era, so community care means wearing masks for not only security but also health safety).

I also went because the friend who asked me was so eager to hang out again. (I've been isolated due to LongCovid for four years, so being around people genuinely excited to get to know me better, and who don't belittle, tear me down, constantly bring up all the things I do wrong no matter how much I apologize? I felt anxious. Wondering when the other show would drop. But it never does. They are just a very kind person.)

While there, a baby bird was found. That little critter is so soft, and I was so delighted. My friend told me I looked cute looking at the baby bird as the bird looked at me. I didn't know they had taken a picture until after when they sent me a copy. lol

My nickname is Bird. :D

While there, I encountered another wheelchair user that had decorations on the spokes of their wheelchair. I squealed in delight, "Holy crap, that is so awesome! Where did you get those wheels? I need them for mine."

The person replied, "They're spoke covers. You can get them online. I definitely recommend."

So now here I am searching the Internets for spoke covers to make my wheelchair even gayer than it currently is. (I have put so many LGBTQIA flags and stickers on it that it's kind of ridiculous. lol)

I could only last around an hour, and I did get to meet new people. The friend who took me was oddly eager to introduce me to ALL the people, and they sounded so proud. I wasn't sure why until after I got home, rested a bit, then sent them a signal message thanking them for taking me.

That's when I found out they had been SO EXCITED to share the joy of knowing me and getting to know me better. They also adored the fractal art I gave them.

My first thought was: Why?

Am I really that delightful to know?

I didn't know what to say, so I just gave the message a heart.

As an aside, I fear I'm unlovable at times because most days I feel like I don't know how to human. Like I'm a bundle of chronic illnesses and trauma wrapped up in a spiffy trenchcoat. I try hard to be kind, and I'm trying hard to not sabotage things out of fear of getting hurt/abused again.

Overall, People's Pride was a good experience. The entertainment was all local folks either doing drag, singing and interpretative dance, poetry slams, or sharing stories at the nearby amphitheater. The vendors were just local folks who make art, mending library, repair library folks, tea folks, and just folks who manage LGBTQIA shared spaces.

The organizers asked to store things in my garage, and I agreed because I don't use it. Fair Air Network (FAN) already uses it to store their masks and air filtration supplies -- they are the group I help with and who are doing their best to educate people on mask-wearing and the necessity of continuing pandemic mitigations.

I'm fine with my garage being a community storage for LGBTQIA folks and groups. It's nice to be able to give back to the community in what little ways I can.

Anyway, wanted to share this story. :) I love when community comes together like this. It's beautiful.

[basaltbutch]

god. i am so tempted to "take a break" from college to work at the ranch full time so i can save up enough money to leave but. my parents would 100% instantly become suspicious and retaliate and the whole point is to leave without them noticing what's going on.