#theyre fucking huge and loud and theyre scary

[kurouzus]

for someone with a severe fear of bugs i do take a lot of pictures of bugs. but yknow what. yknow what that is. character development

[dexter-erotoph]

i havent mentioned how unreasonably happy i am about this….. id say im like one of eyes’ biggest fans i love them so much

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Some (scary, Huge) fake peppi sketches i managed to get out recently

Ramblings under the cut heehee

Wanted to emphasize his HUGE and Hulking body. Hes got Similar movesets to the ingame fake peppino, but theyre fundamentally very Peppino-esque; he is strength and speed based just like Peppino instead of being (primarily) unpredictable and speedy. Thinking of the grab still being one handed but its more like him grabbing Peppinos shirt/body, and immediately chucking him against the wall (similar to peppinos two-armed grab)

The shouldercheck that Peppino does is mimicked with Fake Peppino using his hand as a mace/heavy weighted head weapon.

Runs up the wall on all fours instead of the regular run he does ingame (similar to Peppino using his hands to help with wall climbing)

He is INCREDIBLY loud and shrill during this fight; his voice echoes over itself and its very fast and unintelligible. Hes got very loud and nervous laughter bubbling up alongside the shrill screaming so its just NOT a fun time for Peppino at all.

He is normally very docile, but bc of some hcs I have wrt to him and pizzahead (and the tower overall), he is EXTREMELY stressed out and out of control when Peppino goes through his boss gate. Once he gets his ass handed to him AND he exhausts himself w the chase sequence, Fake Peppino is calmed down enough to think rationally again. And he has decided that Fighting Sucks and he would much rather just keep making pizzas lmao

(yoinking this from discord bc i do Not want to paraphrase lmao)

[I make my peppino SO hulking despite being short so i wanted to convey that same kind of Hugeness but like, if he had the extra height to go along w it Like peppino throws his weight around so i wanted fake peppino to do the same; hes very fast but also incredibly destructive and brutish]

[Im trying to find the best way to put it but like. In the same way getting angry gets u worked up and ur face gets hot and ur heart starts pumpin, the same thing will happen to fake peppino, only it translates into his body starting to bubble up and boil. Which looks AWFUL and it FEELS awful and it further aggravates him when hes burning up and falling apart So he will escalate very fast and essentially go blind w rage until he either passes out or gets knocked out]

[I want him to be a somewhat close parallel to peppino; act first think later. Everything makes him emotional and just like peppino, it will build up out of control very fast, and make him blow up in anger before he can think of a better way to handle it]

[ALSO wrt to fake peppino fighting i want the direction to be less ‘oh that is a weird freaking thing’ and more like ‘that a scary huge monster what the fuck IS that’ Like he makes the ground shake in his own pizzeria when hes chasing after peppino like hes throwing his weight around in such a way that makes him feel like the tank from left 4 dead. Big mans. Charges after peppino, misses; and where peppino would just bonk the wall, fake peppino makes a crater in the wall before shaking off the debris]

[hes not really throwing temper tantrums hes like. JUST as emotional and unable to ‘mask’ as peppino is but he does not have the 40+ years that peppino had to at least have the awareness to be ‘im destroying my own home’]

[I feel like. He is just as fast and strong as peppino, the difference being that peppino has Self Restraint, even if its not Alot And body limitations like breaking limbs n such, but fake peppino does not have that hindrance]

[He and peppino arent like emotionally unstable they are just incredibly volatile when under immense stress. Like most people!! Peppino is just under maximum stress 24/7 and fake peppi is a brand spankin new peppino that finds everything raw and stressful

(From a tagentially related convo)

[hes got a weirdass hobbled together nervous system (since u always see those nervous system diagrams laid out w a floating brain lol)

Its very human like but also inconsistent in some places ie he can feel pain but not All the time. The human body is very VERY complex and theres so many things working together to make shit happen. A nervous system but no bones to help hold it up and send it through the body; its floating in doughy goop ALL the time. His skin isnt Real skin so it doesnt have the same kind of like. Setup to easily receive pain and touch overall. Stretching his body out makes it hard to actually access the nerves so hes often unaware of Pain. But he can Feel things happen. I dunno]

[(responding to the idea of Fake Peppino getting hit with something blunt vs getting impaled or stabbed and grazing his nervous system)

[YES its like literally hitting a raw exposed nerve. The same pain youd get from a fucked up tooth i think however, if u managed to do that his instinct to protect himself would go haywire and hed literally try to maim you or die trying. He has no built in shock response to extreme pain like a normal human does]

[stealingpotatoes]

askposting: imagine a creative title here

you know the drill bestie. feat. a lot of jedi survivor and some other star warsing

the more you think abt this the funnier it gets. like it means kanera are declaring their income which is absolutely stolen imperial credits to the empire, means kanan went and got a SSN/national insurance number or smthn for his fake identity, and that these ppl who live on a ship ie have no fixed residence are somehow still paying taxes to somewhere. 10/10

@engagemythrusters TUMBLR IS A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE!! i too love when he sit like a people

@finwe77 well now i want to see luke cooking for HIS mando and din being a brave soldier and saying no he's totally fine and then putting the helmet back on to cover his tears and sipping blue milk thru a straw

im like 60% sure thats that aussie dog show but i dont think im qualified to answer this

@stars-are-watching ohhhh nooooo what a shaaaame!!!!! you just HAVE to!!!!!!!

also dw i won't be going on THAT aggressive a cal kestis lockdown. i mean... i imagine you're gonna be seeing a lot of him here for a few days but--

i have to say cal's basic bitch bracca poncho, legally

--- SEVERE JEDI SURVIVOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE TO START!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN I SAY ALL OF IT???? EVEN IF IT EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATED ME??????

it's probably the cute mantis fam scene before everything goes to shit. theyre all being so domestic and adorable and MERRICAL!! KISS!!!!!!!!!!!! MERRICAL!!!!! cal deserves nice things even tho for the entire cutscene i was thinking "this feels exactly like a scene in another game where we're meant to be going to the final location tomorrow but then my allies betray me" AND WELL.

even if it emotionally obliterated me i also loved the entire bit after bc SO MUCH. HAPPENED. like???????? thE SHOCK OF BODE even if i was getting a bit sus of him after the dagan fight I STILL DIDNT SEE IT COMING AND I WAS SO UPSET AND THEN HE WAS A JEDI AND THEN PLAYING AS CERE!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??! I WAS GRINNING SO HARD BC OMG COOL EVEN IF CAL IS LIKE. MAYBE NOT OKAY RN THE FUN OF PLAYING AS HER WAS TOO MUCH. AND THEN. HOLY SHITTING FUCK I HAD NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST INKLING VADER WAS GONNA SHOW UP. I GASPED SO FUCKIN LOUD LMAO. IT WAS SUCH A GREAT FIGHT, VADER IS SO SCARY, AND I LOVE FIGHT SCENES W HIM BC YOU KNOW FROM BOTH A TACTICAL AND NARRATIVE STANDPOINT YOU CANNOT WIN AND GOD. THE LIGHTSABER FAKEOUT. DOES RESPAWN KNOW THEIR MEAT IS HUGE.

i am a big enough person to admit i cried twice and the bit after this was one of those times <3

BUT YEAH probably fave bit is the cute pre-emotional obliteration moment

[granma-sweetie]

hello this is long and detailed ask part 2!!! ok so yk the queen of the night well she was. so. good okay like when she shows up on that giant metal crow that part was iconic. she was iconic and she was really good holy shittnnsnsjdkajsksj!!!!!!!!! but like. yes she shows up and then we go back to papageno(s) now with a lock on their faces and when they take it off and theyre like "this lock shall be yoyr warning" and i think papageno is supposed to say "this lock shall be my warning :pensive:" back but here he turned to the older one and just repeats it like "))):< this lock shall be your warning )))):<<" and then they introduce the three boys who are supposed to help them on their Quest to Save the Princess. and three eyeballs marched onto tge stage and when i tell you i almost choked

i told you this production was Fucking Insane ok. anyway then pamina is introduced and they do a life recap thing with her like they did with tamino except one of sarastro's evil henchmen is chasing her yk. and then comes the vibe check and here they changed it up a bit but i think thwy should have left it the way it was because it was funnier like. "eyes? blue. lips? red. hair? lots of it, yes" and duringthis old papageno/pamina just kept going "hä????" does the hä exist in austria idk anyway pamina had such a pretty voice <33333 and i forgot sarastro omg sarastro was so cool and his voice went so low and it was so cool and he was amazing!! and he looked like leon from bbc merlin

and yk how i said old papageno speaks for people into the microphone and he says their actions out loud like step step flutter kick etc etc. well this one time when sarastro finishes speaking and starts walking slowly with each step he just goes. macht. macht. macht. (macht means power in german) and then sarastro just looks at him for a moment. and walks away and papageno just goes schrittschrittschrittschritt

nsbsjsh idk i really liked this part

anyway around this time old papageno kept referring to the other as "my musical doppelgänger" and "my singing alter ego" also the set became just. there was a huge brain hanging from the ceiling. a pair of lips on wheels - then the queen sang der hölle rache kocht in meinem herzen- and then also a hand an eye and an ear

anyway

at one point papagenos lose each other but then they find each other again and now they are friends <33 and the speaking one says yk what i decided you can talk now and the other one goes oh cool i can talk now!!! but if i talk. you can also sing!!! i know we can sing mozart :D and then they sing ein mdchen oder weibchen together and surprise surprise the old one can sing!!! he was actually pretty good yes

and that is when the papagenas show up!! papagena 1 just walks across the stage and the papageno who sings looks at her with :sparkles: longing :sparkles: and the other one shows up in the form of an old woman at first ykykyk but like. she was tall and scary. and the old papageno gets scared and leaves for the background where he tries to call the other one but he doesnt notice and keeps singing until hes done and then hes like what do you want oH AAA and then they have that conversation and that papagena reveals herself and then gets taken away and this is the part where papageno decides to kill himself so now the younger one is lamenting while the older one prepares the ropes for both of them, the eyeball boys walk out holding signs that say "papageno dont be a dumbass" just to get ignored, but then the tree branch breaks and he just leaves and comes back carrying two guns and theyre about to shoot themselves but they get Interrupted by singing and the scene switches to pamina

during all of this tamino and pamina are Going Through Things. they get reunited and they throw sarastro and the queen into a pit

then old papageno comes back and has a guy play his bells (btw. they had separate people to play the flute and the bells) and his papagena comes back!! and they sing The duet and the other papageno is just there in the background and then the other papagena comes back as well and children are hatched from eggs and everyone lives happily ever after

the whole thing ends by old papageno going oh!! i remember everything now!! and going back to sleep and then tamino and pamina find sarastros old outfit and that is the end <333

THREE EYEBALLSJFNDJNSKNFUHEIJWD what the fuck i love thatOMG THR PAPPAGENAS!!!!!! papagen reunion 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

[selfcontainedinferno]

The fact that I just had to take my pronouns out of my bio because i dont feel safe being openly trans rn says a lot about this stupid fucking country

[deepenthevoid]

First running review of watching stranger things for the first time:

Episode 1.

-NO FLASH WARNING????

-typical terrified doctor running away from mysterious force in a darkly lit building. I bet it’s gonna be some supernatural monster. He’s def gonna die. It is gonna pan out to a happy friends/family thing next or a police office? PO might be too much CM to lol…

-NOT THE ELEVATOR YOU DUMMY

-istg if these lights flick off one by one or turn off and turn back on to a monster who runs to him….

-yep. toldja not to use the elevator. Dr is dead. Stupid. It was in fact a monster. Idk what. Is this the demigorgon everyone talks abt? I thought those were tall? It wasn’t shown but on the roof of the elevator? Unless the elevator is absurdly tall why the the doctor completely disappear?

-panned out to a water spigot thingie. What??

-panned out to friends telling each other a scary story. Cute. 🫶🏼 the Curly haired kid. I forgot his name. Devin? Dustin! He’s a cutie I wanna pinch his cheeks and give him a lollipop and pat his head. He would be a cute lil bro. Nerd.

-foreshadowing. It’s a demOgorgon. (The monster attacking the doctor.) (how did a demogoron come to earth??? Manifestation???)

-NANCY IS MIKES OLDER SISTER??? WHAT.

-mikes mom is a milf. Omg. I want in on that.

-Ayo. AYO. THE DEMOGORGON GOT HIM. AYO NOT THE FORESHADOWING. SAVE WILLBYLER. #SAVEWILL WTF????????

-the music is good. I love the cinematic of the bike lights. Nicely done.

-BAHAHA DUSTIN.

-what the fuck is this boy doing?? Doesn’t he know to his friends house?

-THE FUCK IS THAT???? Nah bro this is like Damon on TVD wtf. RUN WHAT IS THAT. EEEEEEK FUCK OUTTA HERE WHAT

-nope. Nope. I don’t fuck w that. RUN LIL BOY.

-I don’t think I can watch this

-COMEDIC RELIEF WOULD BE GOOD RN

-SOMEONE OPEN THE DAMN DOOR AND DONT LET IT BE THE DEMOGORGON

-WHY IS IT HUNTING THIS LIL BOY?? WHY WILL??

-sacrifice the loud dog and run. GOOD BOY.

-idk how but I just KNOW it’ll be behind him. I bet he’ll drop the gun.

-I’m trembling. It’s paused. These directors are gooooood. Or maybe I’m just a sissy.

-I KNEW IT.

-WHERED HE GO TF? QUIT HIDING THIS SHIT WTF

-DONT SMOKE IN THE HOUSE DAD ITLL TURN UR CEILINGS BLACK AND THE WHOLE HOUSE WILL SMELL BAD! BAD!!!!

-acab but damn his butt is huge I wanna bite it

-intrusive thoughts. Goddamn. I don’t even know his name. War criminal demogorgon destroyer prison escapee guy

-don’t get onto your son when he’s trying to help out. Idk who he is but he’s a good kid. You’re pissing me off and it’s the first episode, ms byler.

-no bike locks? Whew. Those r the safe old towns I guess. Old days.

-is that young Tom holland?

-Tom holland wannabe I better not hear a racially motivated statement coming from you…

-at least it wasn’t racially motivated. Sorry Dustin.

-bullying is never okay. Sic the demogorgon on them.

-I just KNOW Nancy acts like hermione. Goody twoshoes but outside of society just a fuckin badass rockstar.

-god I love redheads. Her body is to die for. Gorgeous person. Wow. Idk u yet but I’m just in awe.

-um EXCUSE ME??? NANCYS HANDS?? I FUCKING LOVE WOMEN OH YM GOD.

-Steve move out of the way I’m imagining Nancy is in love with me.

-YES MAAM SET THOSE BOUNDARIES.

-ok Steve looks pretty sharp in those clothes…

-Alexa play djo…

-who the fuck is Lonnie? Good on her to know her sons sexuality. Bad on her to use it as an insult or something to be ashamed of. No wonder will is quiet and reserved. This actor is good. How old is he in this episode? I’m proud of you, Noah schnapp. You’re an amazing actor even at this age. Incredible.

-hopper and miss thang have a history??

-notes from my knowledge of s4: THEYRE NOT TOGETHER?? IM SO FUCKIN CONFUSED???

-LONNIES A MAN???

-ohhhh Lonnie’s probably wills dad. Nothing to do w this huh??… maybe Lonnie is behind the lore of why will is connected to the underworld or the other world or the nether portal idk what it’s fuckin called the uk or whatever

-dr Brenner huh? What is this, the hulk?

-…that’s banner. Shut up, marvel fans.

-IS THAT PAPA???

-send in the mf swat team not a bunch of fuckin doctors wtf??

-ngl the kitty throbbed when he got authoritative talk like that more daddy drunk cop man

-the dad of mike is just fucking clueless 😭 people want bimbo men well there is one 😭

-why is Nancy wearing HEELS in her ROOM? I wear my crocs 😭

-HE IS SUCKING HER FACE. Straight ppl 🙁

-ooo a smooth talker…

-here’s a theory: mike only likes el in a romantic way bc she appeared in a moment of need when they were looking for will and helped get will back. Mike likes el bc she symbolizes wills safety to mike while also fitting into society’s stigma of mlw instead of mike being mlm

ALRIGHT FOLKS THATS ALL OF EPISODE 1. Thanks for joining me.!

[dissociativediscourse]

1 and 3 for the ask game - sys-beehive

fair warning this post is ranty and im not being explicit or anything but its kind of just a fuckin dump of a bunch of words man

1. Do you have an inner world? If yes, is it something you consciously made? What is your inner world like?

i do have one, kinda. its something i had to work on in therapy, and its really just like… brain organization. ive always kind of had ‘places’ and rooms in my head id kind of just pop off to em or theyd feel associated when i tried to look for someone else if that makes sense, but my work helped me to put them together into a place i could imagine and navigate and it helped me learn a lot about my system

i ended up figuring out a lot about structure because of placement and organization of this inner space and it helps us communicate sometimes even though it can be hard

inside i dont really wanna go over all of it because a lot of its pretty closely trauma linked or personal

but youve got a kinda central square that goes off in four directions and im gonna be 100% honest i only know whats in one and it goes down this alley thats got a kind of apartment area, go further and theres a weird carnival thing that isnt like a carnival you have fun at but like if an actual carnival had all the usefulness of a cardboard cutout 99% of the time and heres where the fucked up part of the trauma comes in its populated by scary ass clowns and a guy whos stuck in a memory/flashback of being on xanax

anyway that was a lot theres also a forest that has a field behind it and a safe place to imagine is imagining the inside of the house there

theres a mountain that makes me feel like im gonna cry but also really peaceful for some reason when i think about it

theres a view off in the distance i like to speculate about but it makes me head hurt because its walled off mentally

idk its not like fun or interesting or anything its just how i organize my parts system and try to communicate theres a lot more but id rather not delve into that neverending pit of deeply personal intimate shit my partner doesnt even get to know about

man this is already long

3. Do you experience your disorder as overt or covert? What does that mean to you?

it depends on who you ask and when

i think its pretty overt and shit takes effort as fuck to hide from people especially when i dont like people knowing pretty much ever except in recovery spaces and this kind of shit or if theyre extremely extremely close and then they only get a little bit as a treat

we rapid switch a lot because this system has a shitload of fragments and we all do the worst job ever at being stable or agreeing on anything, and everyone in general likes to be fucking loud as fuck whenever theyre around and something isnt going their way

this causes a lot of problems when im trying to look normal or think or do anything and i have others out loud literally making shushing noises at each other and telling each other to shut up.

i guess its also pretty overt in my opinion because a lot of us have pretty noticeably different postures dispositions facial expressions voices opinions you name it

its that sexy high degree of separation for me baby making therapy harder whenever possible

yeah so anyway this turned into a huge fuckin rant sorry but thats a lot about my system

[tigerdrop]

okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)

this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control

last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive

so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios

and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"

gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that

and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him

im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in

Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit

benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time

RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!

YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now 

at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"

but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"

embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically

maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........  he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious

starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently 

weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before

he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets

takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person

im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance

like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh

the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real

and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this

he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth

run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips

and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse

oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down

and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers

gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer

hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself

> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal

HE IS, AND HE WOULD

he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack

tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts

> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye

oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it

getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)

> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.

he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out

eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)

hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)

benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink

> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things

"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell

hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame

now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen

he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice

so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.

poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it

anyway . see ya. my final message

[windupnamazu]

>TEXT CHANNELS #mom-panic

ffxivwrite2020 #13: badinage || masterlist || ao3 mirror

⮞ lunya and «balefire». 680 words? ⮞ «balefire»’s main street/modern au! its... a chatroom fic... i know... ⮞ lunya's first mistake was telling her friends she had any sort of feelings for the new boy in town

"light, playful banter or raillery."

closest to hell ok. fuck. closest to hell earlier today raha went off on this huge tangent about old sharlayan fashion for me and he brought in these books that were in limited print!! exclusively in sharlayan!!! and he went on for like, three hours and i. was just enraptured. it was so endearing and im like, im having a moment. ive been having a moment and i AM having a moment. like ideologically i dont agree with men but they REALLY went off with this one closest to hell twelve help me i cant NOT kiss him banned for baby crimes but you wont :3c closest to hell but i wont because im a coward yes, we established this last week and you and zaya squashed all the fruit gummies my dad sent me, i know closest to hell let me cry about this cute boy kriles been hiding from me for years in PEACE banned for baby crimes lunya youre posting cringe :''') closest to hell satina im going to put thumbtacks in your shoes

"We are sitting at the same table," Hanami finally snapped, glowering over the rim of her glasses while she stabbed her spoon at one of the pastries spread before them, the ones the café owners special-ordered to work around her six million allergies, "So I do not understand why you are texting each other."

"'Cause the others aren't here yet, Grandma." Lunya rolled her eyes, ducking her head in time to avoid her friend's swing. "Also, like, I'm not going to talk about this out loud in public while Tataru's on shift, I don't have a death wish."

Hanami frowned harder than she already was. "You just called me Grandma."

Sati reached across the table and took the Au Ra's hand in hers, patting the back of it very patiently. "Yes, yes, you're very scary, Nami. But you don't gossip—"

"I do," Tataru announced cheekily as she pushed through the café's front door, striding across the patio to them with their drinks. "The whole town already knows Lunya's got a crush on that boy visiting the Baldesions for the summer, by the way. It's just not exciting anymore."

"I'm gonna get Seven to review bomb your Moogle page," Lunya promised her as she handed out their drinks, and Tataru just grinned, wriggling her fingers slyly at them before she went back to work.

local breadhead lmaooo you two local breadhead also we're on our way! we're a lil late cause eos knocked over the baguettes 🥺 Hanami Hagane That is what you get for letting your cat have free rein in your bakery. reese is in pieces :O( they yell if we dont :( reese is in pieces :O( also has anyone heard from zaya? this says zaya 🏃🏽🌻💪 closest to hell i think that means theyre heading over from a'dewahs shop banned for baby crimes ok ok ok so banned for baby crimes lunya. we take your little man to the arcade. > local breadhead little man pffff Hanami Hagane He is taller than you. this says zaya 🤣 banned for baby crimes NOT EMOTIONALLY!!! banned for baby crimes and like. youre like, freaky good at ddr and all the games n stuff, so you can just show off all night and impress him and he'll be like banned for baby crimes "ooh miss lanya youre sooo cool ooooh please make out with me" closest to hell you just want me to get the tickets to get you that big strawberry plush you told the aliapohs to order as a prize since ihgets banned from there for making khloe cry banned for baby crimes maybe so reese is in pieces :O( you could just reese is in pieces :O( ask him on a date? Hanami Hagane I agree with Reese. You are both so obvious, he will say yes if you ask him. closest to hell i dont need to take advice from linkcord light theme users local breadhead f banned for baby crimes f this says zaya 😬 reese is in pieces :O( :(

[midnightbedroom]

signs

hmm i wont get into it that much but this is my encounters with all the signs in my life (through a scorpio perspective):

CAPRICORN

- so fucking easy to get along with; has the best presence and can give all the attention you want whenever you need it ---- ESPECIALLY when you need it; sweet and caring, but once you cross them, they'll easily hold a grudge but won't tell you about it; will still continue to be your friend still; afraid or just too timid to say however they feel especially if the subject is directly associated with them

AQUARIUS

- ALWAYS in their heads, always thinking; thinks ahead in any situation, has a plan B; although they have a plan B, they still manage how to spontaneously do something else on spot; sweethearts but still manages to have one of the worst tempers when you cross them; easily to get along with after a shared interest

PISCES

- OHHH how i wished i knew more but not in the same time; they're so adorable and nice to anyone they meet - legit an angel; once you lose connection, its hard to get in touch with them, but will still respond if you said something; THEY ARE SO SCARY WHEN THEYRE MAD; try your best not to do something shitty bc they will bite back

ARIES

- anger issues; they focus on whatever in front of them ALWAYS; they also can be indirectly shady when it comes to certain matters but still manages to apologize indirectly as well when they realize it; they always think too much and get caught up with their own shit, but they still resolve it somehow in the end

TAURUS

- girls and boys are different; VERY flirty; they know how to get things done way before the deadline is due; they mainly like to focus on the positivity in life, but once faced with a really bad wall, they're scared of asking for help because it shows their weakness; very smart and down-to-earth

GEMINI

- ooooooooooooooooo, when they're known as two-faced, the stereotypes are not wrong; they will literally act like your go to best friend, but once they're with the friend you're talking shit about, they're gonna spill everything regardless if their friendship was on the line. but don't get me wrong, they're still pretty nice people, i just don't know if they could be my best friend

CANCER

- guilt trip. legit thats the first thing i could think of whenever i realize a person is a cancer sign. they really know how to use one's feelings and turn it against them. whenever you tell them whats wrong, they find a rebuttal to use against you right away about something in the past to always try to be right. they're warmhearted people whenever you treat them nicely, but they're ready to bite back whenever

LEO

- hands down one of my favorite signs. they're so lovable and bright. you can feel their passion from the inside in, and theyre one of the few people to actually commit to something from beginning to end; although when you flake, they lose interest right away and find something spontaneous to do. they HATE it whenever plans are cancelled, but regardless, they will be ready for anything else. theyre the go-to people, the person you feel so safe with

VIRGO

- im sorry, ik a lot of people like virgos, but this is the sign that i least get along with. theyre too idealistic and too much of a perfectionist. they make plans but fail to follow up. they are so kind to people but after they leave your sight, you question if its actually sincere or not. just from experience, ive had a lot of falling out of my virgo friends, mainly because theyre too much to handle at times. but don't get me wrong, im pretty sure theyre genuine in their own way

LIBRA

- LOUD. PERCEPTIVE. VERY VERY WELLSPOKEN. they have a love language with their diction. anything they say, youll fall in love with regardless if its mean to be taken as a flirt or a natural conversation. theyre so easy to get along with with their social nature. the only thing that you need to look out for is how straight up they can be, but thats about it

SCORPIO

- oh god, dont get me started. this is my sign, but i feel so opinionated towards this. SEXUAL MFs. legit, they can get horny anytime whenever. hold the heaviest of grudges and can be sooo manipulative with anything you offer them. very hardworking though, and you can tell how competitive they are towards their work. one thing that i truly dislike is how bipolar they can be. theyre fun to be around, but they can also be the one you never want to invite to hangouts

SAGITTARIUS

- last but not the least, the sags. idk what to say lol. i just feel like their maturity level is either 50 years old or a mind of a 12 year old with no in between. their energy radiates from the moment you step into their proximity. they give life as if theyre still children at heart with a certain naiveness. nevertheless, very spontaneous and driven towards their goal

okay okay

i know i literally just flamed all signs, but thats just how it is LOL

maybe you all have different perspectives, but from a scorpio point of view, you mainly sense the negative sides of people right when you meet them. a huge red flag is drawn across their foreheads, yet you still approach them with a smile.

FOR ALL SIGNS: just be nice.

and thats it, thank you for listening to my ted talk.

[mychemicalaromanticism]

that post by @eravenganza​ made me write this huge ass thing in my notes about how each death spells song makes me feel. take these ramblings of a madman

why is love so disastrous? - this one has to be listened to loud. panic. half-lidded glare. the slow part feels like a downfall or resignment. and the talking in the slow part is the last straw. as it goes back to the regular beat, it feels like someone snapping out of that and going yknow what!!! im still feelin this!! its angry with a small lapse into a more sad reasoning in your outburst.

hate unconditional - this song feels like that gif of soul evans swaying at the piano.

it carries that distant feeling throughout. the counting has such a strange feeling in this context. can't explain it other than that. this is a deadpan confession of just how bad youve been doing to the horror of your loved ones. the louder part is a small outburst. in the story ive started for this one, it would be like getting angry that they didnt notice sooner. but even as it stays loud, the feeling goes back to that distant blurry one.

where are my fucking pills? - raw, panicked anger. the end feels like coming out of a panic attack.

choke on one another - similar vibe to hate unconditional, but its like youve embraced the feeling a little more. its like youre using it for leverage instead of being truthful or vulnerable. its like oversharing to a stranger on a bad night. the whole "knife" part feels like when you completely freak out at someone just to feel like you have an impact; the easiest way to get a reaction from someone is to be scary.

end of life - ive described this as "a song to kill yourself to" before. completely giving up. tired. very classic drifting dissociation feeling from this one. just close your eyes and zone out.

hell all-american - SPEEDCORE VIBES. its loud and overwhelming and emotional. the kind of song to make a vent tiktok with (which i have done). ive got a playlist of songs like this. stuff like in my mouth by black dresses, typical story by hobo johnson, and oh no by grandson. this song feels like a panic attack or sensory overload.

fantastic bastards - a bitter smile. sarcastically saying the lyrics to whoever theyre about.

underneath it all - creepy as all fucking hell. songs to stand in the kitchen holding a knife to. throw in the yelling and now youre brandishing the knife at someone or standing on a roof. hair in your face. you havent washed it in god knows how long. hands clenched at your sides. something terrible happened to make you this way. completely off the fucking rails and youre NOT coming back.

i dont know much, but i know i loathe you - man you just gotta move/sway to the beat of this one. extremely bitter. self isolation. could almost be the build-up to underneath it all. has a bit of the floaty dissociation feeling if the volume is ALL the way up. something is terribly wrong. this is specific but its like when i didnt go to school or talk to anyone outside my house for a month.

[unicyclehippo]

"Nope, I absolutely refuse to touch that" for Beaujester (extra kudos if you include Nott ☺)

‘what’s that? scared of an itty bitty spi—ah!’ nott shrieks a blood curdling shriek, clutched at beau’s wrists as the girl shoves at her, shoves her toward where the spider had disappeared beneath the bench. ‘don’t! don’t! no! oh fuck it’s huge! pull me back, pull me back! i don’t want to die! no!’ the goblin shrieks, displaying an actually really impressive lung capacity, her shouts threatening to deafen beau.

the monk smirks, pulls her friend up onto the bench beside her. ‘what was that you were saying about me being scared?’

nott presses a hand to her chest over her heart. thin shoulders lift and fall, chest ballooning with each desperate panting breath she sucks in. ‘i - was wrong,’ she gasps. ‘it’s enormous. it’s a monster! i’m - ack,’ nott pulls a repulsed face, looking for all the world like the mere thought of the words makes her need to scrape her tongue clean of the foul taste of them. she forces herself to go through with it. ‘i’m sorry.’

‘apology accepted.’ beau hunkers down into a crouch. pulls her goggles over her eyes. ‘now,’ she tells nott, ‘we just can’t move until we find it.’

‘and kill it.’

beau mumbles something, bobs her head from side to side.

‘what - what was that? i didn’t quite catch that. you don’t want to kill the giant fucking spider? it’s basically wearing a fur coat, beau. it looks like it killed a rat, skinned it, and made itself a fur coat. probably two, maybe even three rats. i saw true evil in those eyes,’ nott insists, as she tries to climb up onto beau’s shoulders.

‘stop that,’

‘i need a vantage point!’

‘your hands are clammy!’

‘okay, wow, rude,’ nott comments, and makes sure to press her clammy hands hard on beau’s cheeks and neck as she pulls up onto her back. ‘you know it’s a touchy subject for me. although, i guess my hands were clammy even when i was veth...’

‘you’re still veth.’

‘i’m as much veth as that fur coat is a rat,’ nott disagrees. she redirects before beau can respond to that. ‘can you see it?’ the distinctive sound of nott preparing her crossbow clicks in beau’s ear, echoes faintly on the far walls of the kitchen.

‘not yet.’ she does a slow rotation, keeping her eyes wide for any shift, any sign of a long, evil looking leg. she doesn’t see a spider, but her gaze does come to rest on something new—jester, standing in the doorway.

‘are you two...having fun?’ jester looks between them, clearly confused.

beau can understand that. if anyone had asked only a few days earlier who she would like to spend her downtime with, nott would’ve been way at the bottom of that list. not in any mean way, just, someone has to be at the bottom of it, y’know? now however...they’ve confided, they have matching tattoos, nott—despite her horrendous acting ability and predisposition toward blurting out secrets—has kept her secret and been weirdly cool about it. supportive in a way that feels weird and nice and uncomfortable all at once, though that might be because beau isn’t really accustomed to such things. whatever. no big deal.

‘jester, oh god, take anyone but her!’ nott tries to climb further, higher, presses her foot hard onto the side of beau’s face as she climbs. ‘there’s a spider, jessie! be careful! beau is a coward and won’t kill it!’

‘you’re the one climbing on my head.’

‘tomato, tomayto,’

‘ow—fuck—headband, nott, watch the headband!’

there’s a minor scuffle with a loaded crossbow in the mix, and somewhere during it, jester makes her way into the room and drops to her knees. she crawls beneath the table, searching for the spider, and beau watches blue curls tumble down over her neck and shoulders as she peers around for the eight-eyed monstrosity.

‘jes, be careful,’

‘we can sacrifice beau,’ nott whispers in a loud whisper.

jester laughs. pulls out from beneath the table, her two hands folded in a lose hold over something dark and hairy, that reaches a searching leg out from between her blue palms. she stands, smiles brightly at the both.

‘kill it!’ nott shrieks, levels her crossbow at jester’s hands.

‘no, no, hold on! she didn’t do anything wrong,’ beau defends. despite not wanting it dead, she still recoils when jester steps toward them.

nott wavers in place above; threatens jester with bodily harm some more when she moves closer.

‘how about i take her up to the garden?’ jester suggests brightly. ‘i think cad will like it—a guest! she’ll make the garden feel more...homey, i think.’

‘great idea,’ beau agrees. she watches the spider leg reach again and shudders, imagining the feel of it on her own skin.

jester carries the spider away from them and up the stairs. only a few minutes pass before jester is back. nott lights one of her crossbow bolts on fire and makes a sweep of the room. beau, now that she is free, relaxes a fraction.

‘thank you,’ she says, a little sheepishly. ‘i don’t like spiders.’

jester grins, dimples popping. ‘really? i mean, i guessed now but i didn’t know. why not?’

‘i dont know. it hurts like hell to get bitten. stung? bitten. they look weird?’

‘beau,’

‘i don’t have a good reason! i just—theyre scary!’

jester laughs. wipes her hands on her skirt and comes forward to wrap beau in a big hug. ‘don’t worry, i don’t mind them. i’ll save you from the big bad spiders.’

she knows jester is teasing but it still sounds nice.

[trickstarbrave]

i hate how i am basically as bitter and bitchy as i have ever been but when i was bi ppl tended to lay off the talking over me part more often on bi issues (not always, but more often than not) when i mentioned i was bi.

now that i ID as a lesbian, everyone thinks its okay to talk over me and lecture me on lesbian issues fully admitting they dont understand things or barely, if at all, researched it, but if i am annoyed someone has decided to educate a whole ass lesbian who has to deal with this kind of stuff every day, my anger is immediately turned against me. i am hostile, i am antagonistic, i am unjustifiably rude when ppl are just trying to have a conversation, i should be more open to ppl telling me they personally dont find something lesbophobic as though they are any authority on lesbophobia. 

lesbians are automatically seen as more mean, rude, hostile, and bitter. unjustifiably so. we’re supposed to take being excluded, brushed over, ignored, talked over, and demonized very quietly and politely. when i talked abt wlw and bi issues it was understandable, i was angry bc i am bi and i have a right to be angry. the narrative was bi ppl are under-represented, the underdogs (and this is true in many instances, they face more violence and its important for ppl to still talk abt bi issues). lesbians on the other hand are seen as having more power, big mean bullies who just say things for the sake of making other ppls lives hell. everyone wants a slice of our culture and history but while still twisting as backwater, narrow-minded, and regressive. i face a lot more kickback from ppl for IDing as a lesbian than i did when i was IDing as bi. 

my pain and anger is up for debate. my right to a pride flag is up for debate. everything from my pronouns to my presentation to my lesbian labels are a debate debate debate. even the fucking word ‘lesbian’ is now up for debate of whether or not i deserve to have it describe my experiences. before i had no problem finding bi pride merch, feeling represented. now i see half the things just conveniently leave out lesbian pride merch, and if i speak out on its right to be there i am loud, annoying, obnoxious, and controversial. dont i know no one wants to research what the “right” lesbian pride flag is? dont i know that ALL lesbian flags are controversial for any reason anyone feels like making up? why am i unhappy other sexualities and gender identities get a flag? the rainbow flag is right there, use that. 

biphobia was a huge issue, but i had an easier time finding ppl willing to speak out against it. outside of fellow lesbians there are very few who want to comfort me or speak out against lesbophobia. outside of wlw, the numbers of people who want to speak out against it are nearly non-existent. no one wants to. lesbians are mean, theyre angry, theyre scary, theyre rude, theyre antagonistic, theyre the bullies of the lgbt community. as a bi girl there were always so many there to offer advice and be kind. now that i am a lesbian all i see is this shit.

i am tired of it. it is genuinely exhausting. even my anger is controversial and mean. yeah im being bitchy bc ur talking over me, but suddenly thats okay. im telling you this information is wrong, but yknow i should be NICER abt the fact youre spreading lies abt my community bc u didnt know better and maybe if i wasnt a bitch ppl wouldnt believe them. i am expected to be polite, calm, impartial, bipartisan. im supposed to consider why ppl might want to be lesbophobic and be nice abt it. even in lgbt spaces. especially in lgbt spaces. and if i fail to be as quite and calm and never angry while being actively talked over, lectured on my own history and issues, i have no right to speak at all. this is why no one likes lesbians, this is why no one takes your issues seriously, all lesbians do is attack ppl and are giant hypocrites asking ppl to listen to them abt their issues without coddling me when i want to politely disagree. 

im fucking tired of it. 

[tfw-no-tennis]

continuted hxh thotz

we watched more so i continue my ramblings 

so we finished the trick tower stuff and started on the stuff on the island where theyre all hunting each other....wow finally some hunting in hunter x hunter 

can i just say....fuck hisoka i hate that guyyyy oh my goddddd hes the worst. i just feel incandescent rage whenever hes on screen vhbjdshfjhbsd smarmy horny clown bitch. looooord. he invokes a similar emotion to part 1 dio tbh....like i lose my domestication when i see both those bitches 

oh god that part where hisoka had just spent like hours de-hornifying himself or w/e and he looks all crusty and dehydrated and then he spots that old guy who looks kinda ghibli and he just goes AFTER ghibli man....like hisoka literally had one of those wack ass super detailed faces and just started screaming and running at that guy...like man i wouldve died instantly on the spot. jesus 

gon remains best best perfect baby boy. every time he does something so cute and pure that my heart starts palpating, i get even more nervous for the shit hes gonna go thru someday 

gon and killua are literally soooo precious theyre just two lil boys!!! two lads!!! lad boys! augh i love how much theyre vibing all the time...like on the boat to the island when theyre like refusing to tell each other who their target is and then they both start laughing and then show each other....so precious

honestly im really enjoying how they dont really have a rivalry (yet?) - theyre not like ‘yes we are friends but we’re also COMPETING! so we cant be That nice to each other bc that wouldnt be fair! or w/e you know that typical shounen stuff. i only enjoy that sometimes and im glad its not a thing rn, and if it does become like that later i probs wont mind bc i feel like itd be done well 

so ruth and i caught on to the fact that that weird guy with the pins stuck all over himself was illuminati or w/e his name is (illumi? illumini? i forget already) but HOLY FUCK we both thought he was wearing a mask....god i wish that were the case, that face transformation shit was the WORST. sir why can you do that 

also when hisoka just watched this and was like ‘i always like seeing you do that’ or whatever god gross nasty i hate them

my take on the little we’ve seen of hisoka and illumitations relationship: theyre like the catty mean girls-types but Super Fucking Weird. idk if theyre gay togther (probably) but theyd be the epitome of a ‘is this allowed? [gestures at All That]’ couple. i had more thoughts on them but i forgt 

i find it funny that they havent shown killua like at all during this island hunting thing hvbhsdhfbjdk he probably has like 10 randos badges already. i feel like he would give gon a badge or 2 if gon needed them but that doesnt seem to be the case 

when hisoka spotted leorio and kurapika and went after them i was like [guy yelling NOOOOOOOOOOO meme] freal 

thank goodness kurapika could recognize that they would Fucking Die trying to fight hisoka, and bargained w/him instead. also seeing the flashback of leorio trying to fight hisoka was so funny. my man WHAT! were you thinking 

this is probably the stage that tonpa is getting out on and can i just say thank god i hate that guy. good riddance 

that sniper lady looked cool and im bummed illuminty took her out offscreen :( i also thought the black guy with the beehive stick thing was gonna do more but guess not

i find it funny that so many characters have these loud character designs but end up not having a lot of screentime...i feel like ive been conditioned by one piece to see an eye-catching character and mentally prepare to see a wholeass backstory lol

also. illunikn is clearly a huge freak which is probably why hisoka is willing to work w/him, but his design is weirdly cute sometimes (when hes not doing absolutely freaky shit, which....admittedly isnt often)

like the part where he transforms into his True Cat Man Form and then, without changing expression, digs a giant hole with his bare hands (with the body language of a feral person) and then gets into it to nap.....like.....bro. 

also ik illiminini is killuas brother (i think brother?) and wow that family has some strong Cat genes 

i find it interesting that hisoka has been working with illiimini this whole time, hisoka strikes me as a solo type of guy who would be all like ‘teamwork is beneath me’ and only have minions (a la dio, espec p1 dio) but he seems to have a fairly even relationship w/illuimian which is wild. i rlly wonder if thatll last or if hisoka is gonna like, murder/abandon ilubimi later bc he ‘gets in hisokas way’ or st 

i like that kurapika and leorio teamed up....married

i generally really like how the relationships between the main characters are handled, its sweet how theyre just like....generally nice to each other and stuff lol 

also oh my god i forgot that last time i hadnt seen the end of trick tower i need to talk abt that 

KILLUA MY BOY OH MY GOD....ive been waiting for this ngl. ily smug murderous catboy

i love so much how killua casually kills this ~*~scary guy~*~ and everyones like :0 but gon is just like yep thats killua! hes from a family of assassins! like the way he says it so casually and kinda cheery aw i love him. he doesnt even care that killua can murder people in 2 seconds flat, he thinks killua is AWESOME 

and oh my god i love how hard killua is trying like, all the time. he is trying his HARDEST to be AS COOL AS POSSIBLE for gon and thats adorable. its working too gon clearly thinks killua is SUPER cool 

the eternally hilarious part where kurapika asked what killuas secret tactic are re: ripping that guys heart out, and killua is just like ‘uh i just ripped it out. yknow...as one does..’ and kurapika is like wow im glad this murder catboy is on our side.. 

the psychology stuff in the trick tower was interesting as hell (catch me brushing off my psych minor like, oh yeah i know abt this stuff lol)...i like the stuff abt leorio getting discouraged/disgruntled when the majority ended up being against him a lot bc thats true!! thats how it works!! it leads to learned helplessness and stuff like that...also that animation of kurapika and leorio playing cards to explain the tough candle choice was sooo cute 

i really loved the solution to the final majority rule things....ingeniously following the rules while still managing to circumvent them in ways...love it

also gon is so perfect have i mentioned that already

im so curious whos gonna pass the hunter exam, i legit have no idea and i would find it so funny if gon becomes a hunter in the first goddamn arc hjhbdfhsdjbgk as ruth said, itd kinda be like luffy becoming pirate king in like chapter 70

i mean tbf if i had to guess id say gon passes, simply bc i cant see the story taking the time to have him do the hunter exam again in a year. also his motivation is to become a hunter in order to see what its all about bc of his dad - not JUST to become a hunter 

gons fishing rod is so cute. perfect item for a perfect boy 

his training was adorable. hes a smart lad! formidable baby 

the blooderflies were so cool and OH MY GOD how could i forget the part where gon had two blooderflies with little leashes on and had the leashes tied to one of his fingers....OOOUGHHHHGBSJFHSJBFUHEJKSDD bro my heart literally palpated like it does when my cat does something rlly cute, gon is seriously That cute and pure and good

every time hisoka is anywhere near gon i just wanna call the FBI on that clowns ass oh y god. pls leave ladboy alone....

anyways i love the main characters (HISOKA DONT INTERACT) and i cant wait to see what happens next. i might have more thoughts but coherency is not one of my strengths so bye

[corvidaedream]

im so sick of this one guy in my major, hes just a fucking moron who is always interrupting people (in a majors class thats almost all women, and ive never seen him interrupt the three other guys once) and just wastes crit time by going off on tangents that arent helpful

and he was trying to flirt w a bunch of juniors this morning and i was just in Total Bitch Mode, like i got so close to actually saying "you know you dont have to laugh at his jokes to be polite if theyre not actually funny" out loud

like i could feel my tone and body language descending into Huge Bitch and im afraid that now these junior girls all think im a little scary, but i could not stop

its just like every time he talks its like