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#things ended badly with people I cared about and
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Hey do you guys think about Vi hallucinating a more innocent, "untainted" by reality Caitlyn in the "Nothing to Lose" clip? Doesn't it sound familiar?
It's just like how she hallucinated Powder back when Cait took her down to her childhood home. She misses Powder then, just like in the s2 clip, she misses that Caitlyn, the one not harden by the events of the end of s1 and s2.
Caitlyn and Powder have a lot of parallels. Both are characters underestimated by the societies they are born into, and for a long time are outcasted from them. Cait is an outcast to Piltian High Society cause she rather be an Enforcer doling out Justice than playing the Politics Game. Jinx is outcasted for being well, for being Jinx. As a kid, Powder wasn't see as strong enough or respected, the same way Caitlyn isn't treated with respect. And with both of them Vi makes the same mistake of underestimating them/putting both into the Box of "I need to protect them."
The "Oil and Water" scene is often talked about, but people don't realize how it and the subsequent Caitlyn bath scene parallels another s1 scene - that is, when in ep3 Vi tell Powder to stay put while she and the guys go save Vander. Vi tells Caitlyn in other words, to stay put while she goes off (with Jayce) to handle things about Silco. Both Caitlyn and Jinx, who both have issues of self identity and wanting to be something, take it very badly in each of their respective moments. And the resulting aftermath ends badly for everyone involved - (Jinx deciding to help with the monkey bomb/Caitlyn gets scoped out for the dinner party).
What I'm saying is, that s2 is gonna be Caitlyn's "get Jinxed" moment. Vi already compared her and Powder once, back highlighting how Obsessive Cait can be with her maps in s1. She is gonna get obsessive about hunting Jinx, the source of her many many ills these two seasons. Damn everything and everyone that gets in her way. And Vi, well Vi is gonna have to confront again, this person that she cares for, has this side of them that she did not account for. And I think, much like in s1 with Jinx, the "breakup" is gonna be the consequence of it.
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pastadoughie · 22 hours
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i dont know how to say it or what to even do at this point
i am in an abusive housing situation. witch isnt really new info nor something i talk about often. i have learned to deal w/ shit on my own overtime, aswell as my situation getting slightly better with my distancing from certain family members. but its still bad.
my mother & my brother are both extremely abusive, my brother is phisically abusive, and my mother is a pedophile. they are the only other familial ties i have aside from my dad, and they obviously arent viable and would be worse for me.
my dad is my best option in terms of family and the only person i live with currently. when hes drunk he can be actively cruel & abusive, regularly threatening sexual abuse via forfeiting custody of me to my mother. but im still semi able to reason with him while he isnt drunk. most the times hes simply neglectful, witch is preferable to the alternative atleast. & can somewhat be manipulated into caring about me, or at the very least signing & agreeing to things if i do all of the other legwork
i have a disability of some sort, i have alot of theories but overall doctors refuse to properly test me. i smoke so, they just blame every single issue i have on that & dont listen to ANY of my concerns. somewhat similar to pots in terms of symtoms. i just call it "the slop", this sortof sludge that clouds all my thoughts and everything i do. when it gets bad i cant move properly, often knocking things over, completely losing my train of thought. it can be really hard to have conversations with me, i spend alot of time being silent, keep repeating the same simple few words, dont really listen properly. i can sometimes spend hours just staring off into space. it gets better when im laying down, but sometimes not even that helps. it takes a certain kind of determination to get literally anything done. witch is really hard given my lack of any kind of support.
if i am not extremely ontop of things, if i cant force myself to do things through the slop, then i end up getting into these sludge spirals. i dont eat. i dont drink. i just lay in bed. you get so dizzy and your mouth gets so dry, and so hungry, and the slop is just unbarable. not even really existing as a person, sleeping 18 hours a day, sort of halfheartedly & extremely badly trying to do basic tasks, like eating or drinking, and then after 4 hours i just. go back to sleep. its unbarable & dehumanizing. & its not like i have anybody that can help me. i explain this to people and then they always make suggestions on how to manage it that requires another person to help, and then they never listen when i say i do not have anybody.
i need to get some kind of treatment and i need to get some kind of testing, but doing so requires so much work so many phone calls so much effort that i HAVE to do on my own, that i just. dont have the energy for. its not that im intellectually or phisically incapable i just, im just always in slop. its just always a barrier i have to work around. and the fact that just. the entire fucking medical system is so rotten to the core w/ incompetance & malice twards queer and disabled people means that its just.. so hard to get anything done at all for treatment.
and beyond the fact i have to get meds, i also really need to work on moving out. while i dont think my dad would realistically kick me out until im 18, as that would require actually doing paperwork. i dont trust him to be nice to me beyond that point.
and incase i need to say this to some sheltered fuck who does not understand this. no i cannot go to dcs. i have dealt with dcs my entire life. dcs is not an organization made to help people. it never HAS been. any good they do is incedental. they are at their core a government organization that is supposed to sound good. they do not help children. my tharapist submitted a dcs report about my brother trying to kill me back in december, and i had a dcs worker come to my door and start defending pedophilia to me. every single encounter i have had with dcs has eaither done nothing or actively been harmful to me in having a dcs worker actively encorage my families various abusive behavior.
in summery, i need some kind of help figuring out a way to. deal with everything. ideally something that would help me with practical stuff like medical paperwork, scedualling appointments, that stuff. ideally focused on & or primarily targeted to queer autists in the 16 to mid 20s range of ages. and also that is within arizona. most of the stuff ive been reccomending is stuff like housing and independant living programs, witch while helpful what im looking for is primarily medical help & that is centered around more chronic issues & disabilities that like, need more testing & such to be diagnosed, and not really in the vein of teaching me how to do appointments & such, i know how. i just. am not super good at functioning in general.
dont dm me saying "oh im always here if u wanna talk!!" thats weird. i dont know you.
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chiisana-sukima · 13 hours
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Hey so this post just came up on my dash and its an interesting perspective for sure. I was wondering if youd feel inclined to share your thoughts on it but no pressure ofc feel free to ignore.
https://www.tumblr.com/zudilio/648738136098275328/the-thing-is-that-i-miss-the-early-seasons?source=share
Yeah, I saw it on my dash too and considered reblogging with comments, but it's three years old and the OP has said in other posts that they're a "Sam ignorer", so I figured they wouldn't be appreciative. Also, to a certain extent, "they should've given the plot points I don't like to the character I don't care about" is just a matter of taste, so there's not a ton to say about that part anyways.
As far as the "Sam is like John because at the start of the show he's driven by anger and his need for revenge" part, my thoughts on it are here, and @ardentpoop and @aliusfrater have excellent meta here as well.
Leaving aside the piece where I think the OP is wrong about Sam though, I do agree with them that Dean's character arc was mismanaged, and I sympathize with them and all the other Dean girls (gn) who got stuck with *waves vaguely at spn in general*. I agree with OP that Dean isn't an inherently angry person. I don't believe inherently angry people exist, but even beyond that, I don't think the intended reading of spn is that Dean's story is about anger. Gamble said at some point very early on that on the inside Dean is a frightened little boy who never had the chance to grow up, and I do think spn carries that thread through the seasons pretty well all the way to s15, where it attempts (with not-great success imo) to resolve it.
Unfortunately, I also think that spn's failure to resolve Dean's character arc satisfactorily was inevitable, and that the things that attract many fans like OP, who identify with Dean, are the same things that made resolving his issues impossible given the set-up. Just as Sam has a realistic case of poorly-controlled, chronic dissociative/classic PTSD (with psychosis during s7 and some CPTSD-like features) and doesn't have the resources to manage it beyond bare-bones survival, Dean has pretty realistic untreated, chronic CPTSD/BPD without the resources to even begin to manage it in a way that doesn't destroy his own life and the lives of the people around him. Dean's violence stems ultimately from his childhood environment, sure, but the person he is by the time we meet him in s1 has severe attachment issues, difficulty regulating his emotions, poor distress tolerance, black and white thinking in a job where black and white thinking results in victimizing people based on factors they have no control over, and most of all, no real concept of boundaries whatsoever. The cause was for sure his childhood, but the present of spn is just a very symptomatic adult. His mental health issues--and Sam's too--are the kinds of chronic illnesses that never go away and that people struggle with over their entire lifespans.
I don't want to be overly negative; many people with mental illnesses this severe do learn to manage them well and live full and happy lives (I am, within reasonable limits, one of them). But it's hard. And longstanding, deeply-rooted patterns of thoughts, beliefs, and behavior don't change without community resources, considerable effort, and for most people, years of trial and error. Spn's main premise is, for some wild reason, that the problems Sam and Dean encounter are metaphorically equivalent to real life problems normal people encounter all the time, but that in the spn world, all of the resources real world people have available to help them are impossible to access, except guns and torture. It's s13 before spn manages to get Sam and Dean into ONE SESSION of therapy with someone they can tell the truth to, and by then, we get this:
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Dean is being a lot less unrealistic here than one might think, and yes, this picture will end badly in real life too.
Since the finale, a lot of fans have said things like "Dean deserved to go to therapy and get better" or "spn thinks if you have trauma, you should kill yourself about it", but deserving is fake. We in the real world live in a The Good Place universe. There's no fair calculus for who "deserves" anything. Everyone both deserves health and happiness and love and a comfortable life and also deserves nothing because there are other people who have nothing.
And unlike ours, the spn universe is not a The Good Place universe. It's worse. The writers of spn are and always have been profoundly ungenerous. The whole universe is built on victim-blaming and bullshit calculi of what crimes deserve what punishments and who should or shouldn't mete them out. In the spn universe, Dean is lucky. He had not one, but two BPD favorite persons, and he treated them both like shit, and they still both loved him and wanted to be with him and will be with him in the afterlife, presumably continuing to have the same intense, volatile relationships they've always semi-tolerated.
I like to pretend that maybe Sam, Dean and Cas can all read The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook on Heaven's version of archive.org and take it to heart, or that maybe Sam grew some boundaries in the years he lived without Dean that he can insist on hard enough and long enough for Dean to get a reparative relationship out of, and they can all after-live happily ever after. But the Dean that was alive during the 15 years of spn hadn't done that work yet, and the outcome he got was--if one subscribes to "deserving" as a concept--better than what he "deserved". If you hit your partner, you deserve to be left. If you hold a gun on them, you deserve for it to go off and kill them by mistake and you never see them again (although of course they don't deserve to die). It doesn't matter who the "angry" partner in the relationship is. Any sane person in this universe or the spn one should be angry a lot of the time, because both universes suck. Not to beat a dead horse with a flowchart but:
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The violence is the bastard. The emotions are not.
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flower-boi16 · 1 day
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Apology Tour Made Blitz Do The Right Thing for The Wrong Reason
There's a common critique of Apology Tour I've seen regarding Verosika is that the fact that she went out of her way to create an entire annual party dedicated to shitting on her past ex makes her look overly obsessive. While at first glance I can see where this argument is coming from I'd like to disagree.
Blitzo has been frequently established as a fairly destructive person who thanks to his own self-hatred ends up hurting others and pushing them away, the fact that there's this many people in the party shows how destructive of a person Blitzo is, and we see that it's not just limited to his exes, but people in general who he hurt (like Dennis, for instance).
And Verosika is one of Blitz's later victims who Blitz bailed on after she told him she loved him, a very vulnerable moment for someone to be in, and that's the point where Blitz broke her heart. And so she created this party both out of spite for Blitz seeing how much of a horrible person he is and out of sympathy for his many victims who were just as heartbroken by him as she was. She created this party so she could help the people Blitz has hurt cope with what happened and heal from it, creating a sense of community amongst victims.
Apology Tour shows how much Blitzo damages people, how his self-destructive tendencies always end badly for both him AND his victim, leaving his victim broken and making him more broken, the fact there's a whole party made for the sole purpose of helping his victims cope shows that. And Blitz is forced to see how damaging of a person he truly is because of this...or at least, that's the route the episode should have taken.
Apology Tour is an episode with an absolutely fantastic set up with Blitz going to a party where he sees how many people he's damaged and chooses to start becoming a better person, but the problem is HOW the show gets him to see that. The show gets him to start to change himself...through Stolitz.
Blitzo realizes how he hurts others through seeing how he hurt Stolas, who Blitz previously just believed was some classist dick and nothing else only for Stolas to pour his heart out in a musical number, making Blitz realize that Stolas' feelings were genuine all this time and what he was saying to Stolas did, in fact, hurt him...
...at least that's how the writers want you to look at this scene. However, thanks to the general problems with Stolitz writing this development ends up falling flat on its face. The reason for why this development fails despite the perfect set up is because the show is holding Blitz accountable for something he isn't even in the wrong for in the first place. I've ranted about Stolitz many times before but I'll just repeat the same points because it's relevant for my argument here; Blitzo had no reason to ever think that Stolas' love for him was genuine.
Throughout the whole first season, Stolas consistently looked down upon and belittled Blitz, calling him demeaning pet names and always invading his boundaries even when Blitz says no, yet Stolas continues it anyway. YET, the show tries to paint Blitz as biased here because "oh he only hates Stolas for being a royal and is repressing his feelings for Stolas due to self-hatred" or some bullshit.
However, once you factor in the outside context, Blitz never comes across as biased here whenever he rants about Stolas, because he doesn't have a reason to believe Stolas has any genuine affection for him beyond some small, off-screen "nice things" he did for him, and even then, you can still look down upon someone while caring for them. The show wants to present Blitz as in the wrong here for "hurting Stolas' feelings" and being consumed in his bias, but that doesn't work because Blitz had no reason to believe that Stolas didn't look down on him when he literally did.
But despite Blitz not being in the wrong in the situation, he's portrayed as the abuser here and he's the one who apologizes to his abuser, and HE says that Stolas "deserves better than HIM", making Stolas out as the victim here in this situation when the context and framing say otherwise.
Speaking of Stolas, many people have torn him apart this episode already so I won't go that in-depth here, however, it's still relevant to my point. The episode portrays Stolas as sympathetic here when he isn't - in fact, Stolas comes across as extremely unsympathetic in this episode due to claiming that he "never looked down" upon Blitz despite doing that throughout all of season 1.
He THEN gets angry at Blitz for not saving him when Striker captured him even though 1. Blitz was busy and 2. HE LITERALLY SENT HIS CO-WORKERS TO SAVE YOU WHY TF ARE YOU MAD???
Stolas doesn't have a legitimate reason to be angry at Blitz due to the outside context - instead, all of his interactions with Blitzo in this episode come across as him playing the victim and gaslighting him. And All 2 U is the pure culmination of this. A song that is supposed to be the moment where Blitz realizes his mistakes instead comes across as Blitz being repeatedly gaslighted and guilt-tripped into apologizing to his abuser.
HE is treated as the problem, HE is treated as the one who is meant to apologize to Stolas, even though he is NOT IN THE WRONG FOR THIS IN THE SLIGHTEST. Yet, the show ignores past interactions for this to work. It doesn't address anything Stolas did beyond just making the deal - it acts as if that was the only bad thing he ever did even when Stolas did more than just that to Blitz.
Yet, that's never called out by anyone. Stolas doesn't have a good or sympathetic reason to be mad at Blitz - yet the show treats him as another one of Blitz's victims anyway. So, Blitz was essentially gaslit into becoming a better person, which isn't really great writing. Apology Tour had all the ingredients of a fantastic episode but it's severely held back by this specific aspect, Stolas drags the episode down so much and it sucks that the Stolas crap in the episode has to be tied to Blitz's development. Blitzo should have seen his mistakes through someone who actually had valid and sympathetic reasons to dislike him, someone who does actually come across as a person deeply hurt by Blitz's actions.
In other words....Verosika. Verosika should have been the character they used here, not Stolas. Verosika has an actually good reason to dislike Blitz and one the audience could actually sympathize for, SHE should have been the character to get Blitz to realize his mistakes and decide to change and grow as a person. Have All 2 U be sung by her instead of Stolas, with the song detailing how Blitz met and Blitz broke her heart.
Seriously, the concept of the begining scene and All 2 U can work, but they'll work better if you replace Stolas with Verosika in them instead, because Verosika has a good reason to dislike Blitz that could easily be expanded upon and developed, and Blitz would've had better reasoning to become a better person rather than being gaslit and guilt tripped into it. Apology Tour had all of the ingredients for a fantastic episode but the Stolass trash drags it down HARD.
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demonprince26 · 3 days
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WARNING⚠️: LONG RANT AHEAD!!
I haven’t been on Tumblr very long I will admit but I’ve been a huge fan of the Monkees since I was very young. I’ve grown up with these guys and have followed their journey my entire life up to this point. With that, something I’ve noticed with the fanbase in here is that if anything, the Monkees aren’t portrayed very accurately at all to who they really were when talking about their real life counterparts.
Now I’m not talking about headcanon or fan made media or anything like that because of course that’s a whole different thing that we as a community understand is all fiction and just creative people having fun. I mean people who genuinely talk about the Monkees a certain way like it’s who they are and it doesn’t make any scene. From making some people worse then they were, some better then they were, some smarter, some dumber, all that. So I thought I’d go ahead here and using what I know sort of rewrite some of the things I’ve heard floating around about each of the guys….
MICKY:💙
Micky, as much as he was a very confident performer and had a lot of good energy, was extremely shy and self conscious. Micky really wanted to be loved by everyone and it was something he worried about daily when doing any sort of project to just his friends and band members. Micky wanted to be loved by everyone and it caused him as well to hide some of his feelings for a very long time.
Now this doesn’t make him a pushover because Micky knew what was up and when he was being messed with. He didn’t let people walk all over him either. But that still didn’t mean he cared about what people thought to a large level for a long time. Of course this got better with age but still, in the end Micky just wanted to be loved.
Micky was also wicked smart. He was especially experienced in the world of science and tech. He went to Uni for architecture and has even designed the blueprints for a house before that he never ended up building. He bought the third Mog synthesizer in the world and taught himself how to play it in very little time. He wasn’t a bumbling madman, he was smart, shy, but a fantastic source of energy and caring man.
DAVY:❤️
Davy was a ball of fire, Davy out of all the Monkee was easily the most angry of them all and especially in the beginning, he didn’t have a reason to be. Davy would fight pretty much anyone for any reason and because of this, he got into plenty of fights. Davy was very over sensitive to a lot of things, some completely reasonable but a lot not. Which would in the 80’s through the 2000’s only get way worse. He was a complete asshole for quite the vast majority of his life and was willing to blame quite literally anyone else for his troubles. Which was one of the reasons so many of his solo attempts after the Monkees fell flat.
Davy wanted to be a center of attention so badly when he was younger to a the point he was willing to cut people out in order to get the spot light back on him. He was desperate and didn’t take it well when the world moved on without him. It hit all of them hard of course, it’s a shitty part of temporary big time frame like that, but Davys response was to blame everyone else and because of that he didn’t really move on until he was in his 50’s. Which I’m glad he did because once he calmed down he became a very sweet man and deserves some recognition for that. As long as it took. He really deserved to be happier for longer too, they took him way too soon.
PETER:🧡
Peter was an asshole, there’s really no way around it and I’m done pretending that wasn’t the case. Peter said the most rude, out of pocket shit for zero reason and was the most pretentious out of all the Monkees. Peter was told to be someone who loved everyone but in truth, Peter only truly loved most people if they were like him. Other then that, quoting an old interview here, “Peter wanted the people he liked to like him and the people he didn’t like to jump in a lake”. Peter threw people under the bus quite a bit and when you look at Peter’s life story, people knew this was how he was and didn’t really like him all that much either.
Something I see a lot is the discourse between the Mike and Peter dynamic with Peter being this sad victim and Mike being this huge bully and this just really couldn’t be further away from the truth. I don’t know where that came from but while Peter was out there having a huge, almost childish hatred for Mike, Mike was just living his life and when Peter was brought up he’d talk about how even though their partnership was difficult he still had immense respect for him, and didn’t understand why he wasn’t a bigger musician then he was because he saw him as being a huge talent. Mike didn’t hate Peter, he didn’t like Peter but still respected him and wanted him to have as many opportunities as possible because he loved his talent, but Peter was frankly too over emotional to notice this or care it seemed and would go on to say some of the most uncalled for bs there’s ever been. (also side note, this is why every time is see people insist upon Torksmith as a real thing I roll my eyes because frankly, what the hell is that delusional garbage?)
Peter would do this with anyone too he didn’t like even a little bit. Peter was very Black & White in this way, he either loved people or he hated them deeply. There’s so many interviews of him downright just insulting people and being a complete dick for no reason and the comments all being like “it’s so funny when he’s sarcastic :)”, when he’s clearly not being sarcastic even a little.
As much as it’s of course very well known that Show Peter and Real Peter were very different people, it still seems like people don’t treat this like it’s the case. So many people see him as this innocent sunshine boy when in reality, this guy cheated regularly, has done time in prison, and talked the most outrageous bs out of any of the band members. This is the man who got married to someone, divorced them months later, immediately got with someone else, and then dumped them a year later as well. Peter wasn’t a bad person, but he wasn’t a great person either and wish people would see this. He did change a bit as he got older and put some of his actions behind him, but it took him way too long honestly and even so he didn’t really change much. I don’t hate the guy, but I don’t like him either.
MIKE:💚
Mike gets the most shit and in truth, it’s the most pure example of someone making one fuck up and everyone deciding it’s their entire personality I’ve ever seen. In reality, Mike was not only very kind and extremely generous, he didn’t let anyone mess with him or his friends. Not even a little.
So many people talk about how angry Mike was in the 60’s for awhile but you would be pissed off too if you were getting screwed over this badly. The only difference between Mike and the others is he actually did something about it, which is the main reason Headquarters even exists. Because he was done with the guys not getting a fair chance, not just him. He fought for Peter to be able to play on the first album using his little control over Mary Mary as a medium for Peter to create something for, he wanted Micky to be in the spotlight as much as possible and wanted to endlessly support him, and he loved Davys energy very much. He was the music producers biggest enemy not because he was an asshole, but because he was not going to let him and his friends be reduced to something cheap. Mike don’t fight with people, he fought for them. Which is something that continued into his post-Monkee years as well. I can’t for the life of me understand why people don’t understand this because it’s all right there in bold text.
Now of course we have to bring up the big elephant in the room of his affair with his first wife. Nobody’s excusing this, not a bit. Was he in a terrible spiral and horrid mindset at the time, yes, was the marriage already failing because they only got married to try and grow up fast, yes, does this excuse it, not at all. It was a mistake and one he carried with him for the rest of his life and unlike some of the Monkees, was actually something he deeply regretted and even tried to fix for awhile before moving on from it. The most important thing about things like this is what happens after. Do they try and fix it, do they actually care about what they did or just feel bad for themselves, so they actually go on to try and support the person afterwards, Mike was a yes to all these things and not only that, Mike was also the only Monkee to keep on good terms with every one of his ex-wives. He had a lot of love in his heart, a lot, and was willing to give it freely within reason. Being as nobody was taking advantage of it and all. But this man was full of love, and also was the most willing to learn from his mistakes and learn realistically and do better. I highly recommend his album “Tantamount to Treason” as it talks about it honestly and from multiple view points of multiple party’s in a way that is not afraid to tell the story and the effect of it and the next steps upon it. That’s not talked about enough how much he never stopped loving or caring, because he did with his whole heart, even for those who didn’t like him back.
Mike was also a great leader and businessman. People don’t seem to remember that much when taking about the Monkees. The reason he couldn’t do a lot of those early reunion tours wasn’t because he didn’t want to, it’s because he genuinely was busy. He had two businesses he was running and creating new things that had never been done before and also a whole other band. It’s like he said during the Greek Theatre interview, “if they do it again, I’ll do it again. It’s just a question of timing”. Because that was true, he loved the guys, just because we had moved on more then the others didn’t mean he didn’t. He just had a separate life. There’s the whole thing as well of him getting his mothers inheritance from Liquid Paper when she passed like that made him super rich but, he literally used that money to pay of a lawsuit from people who tried to screw him over which he ended up winning because, ya know, they tried to scam him, and also a lot of it being donated to an association he was very involved with the fought for women’s rights in the work place and in creative spaces. That’s where the money went, to settle and support, not to buy a rocket ship like so many other people these days.
All and all with Mike, the way people treat Mike is really the way people should be talking about Peter and the opposite applies too. The shit Mike gets should really be going to Peter, not him. I’d rather we just look at everyone honestly and not give any shit to people and compare but, gotta start somewhere I guess.
CLOSING:
All and all, as much as I talked through all this about different things, I don’t hate any of the guys. Not at all. They all had issues and they all had their strong points but I just think they should be talked about more realistically is all. There’s just a lot of confusion here and a lot of emotional biases that make something’s bigger then they are, some things smaller then they are, and somethings just never brought up that are really important. Of course what I’ve said doesn’t completely boil down each member, it was just a few things I thought should be talked about so others might take a second to think about it too and do some of they’re own research. Which I’ll always endorse since true research (not just looking at the top page of Google or some random podcast, that’s not research) is your biggest friend. So yeah, that’s my piece, sorry for any typos, I’m sure there are a few.
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 month
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#lol i love seeing just straight up bullying on tiktok(/s)#someone(im guessing) went into a discord server for proshipping#and then posted their face reveals on tiktok!?!??!?!#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look#like what the fuck#just bcs you dont agree with someones opinion ON SHIPPING#doesnt mean you should blast them on socmed?#they posted those pics in a trusted space :(#why are people so cruel and vindictive nowadays#people who make it their whole personalities to shit on pros OR antis are so embarrassing#just keep to yourself and keep your personal moral highground you know?#like they go low we go higher etc#cause on tiktok people will post very bait proshipper tiktoks#to the point where i honestly think they're 100% antis who just wanna sow discourse and disgust#like when i see those people im like just ignore them???#just dont engage man. you end up encouraging people to do worse and worse just to cause drama#but yeah antis in return will make all their posts 'correcting' these obv bait posts#like both of you get a life and just do things that make you happy. not things that obv upset you#idk it kinda sickens me how much time people devote to activities that clearly doesn't make them happy#even if youre pleased about dunking on people you morally disagree w +#wouldnt you feel happier engaging with content that yknow. fills you with genuine enjoyment?#not enjoyment fueled by disgust or morally superiority#idk some people feel like children so i shouldnt care too deeply. but the amnt of toxic behavior is so disturbing to me#the posting of faces got on my nerves badly. no matter if you disagree with someone#you shouldnt just straight up expose their face on your big acct BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN SHIPPING OPINION#and the fact that the point is to imply they're all ugly. so fucking childish and disgusting#i reported but idk if that'd do anything. i wish i could have an honest dialog w people like that tbh#catie.rambling.txt
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You know, I'm glad that some of us take the step to embrace things that we like even if they're "cringe" or "objectively bad"
But perhaps we could take the next step forward and embrace the idea of reading into books/shows/movies/etc even if they don't seem deep. Perhaps we could understand that the two kinds of media aren't either "shallow and meaningless so you're weird and brainrotted to read into it" or "incredibly and profoundly deep in every way so if you don't analyze every single angle of the thing then you're brainrotted". Some media is deeper than others, but all I propose is that no matter how deep it seems it's acceptable to dig into the thing and take the media seriously instead of just assuming that because of ____ thing (such as target audience or how cringe it is) the media not deep and will never be deep and everything good about it happened on accident.
#fandom wank#i just be ramblin#I'm not putting this in any tags#I'm just frustrated that Sonic Prime is going to be remembered by the bulk of its fanbase/people who watched it as a shallow stupid badly#written kid's show where the only thing good about it that we can even consider was created on purpose and is deep is Sonadow#I'm frustrated that when people learned that sometimes the death note creators did things because it was cool and not because they were#planning for it to be some great symbolism that so many people jumped from 'death note is a masterpiece and every bit of it is meticulously#thought out the curtains are never blue' to 'pack it up guys! the curtains are just blue! Everything good about death note like that#profound relationship I like and the neat symbolism completely happened by accident and Ohba sucks as a writer otherwise'#I'm frustrated when I see people talk about 'a kid's show' as if it's not gonna be deep at all or written well *because#it's a kid's show and then turn around and complain that said show sucks and isn't deep at all (even if that's how they're choosing to look#at it and they could see the care put into the story if they didn't go into it assuming that it will be lesser and shallow and dumb based on#what it is)#I guess it's also just getting me on this random Wednesday the idea that the bulk of one's viewers determine the legacy of a piece of media‚#no matter how close or far away they are from painting the media as it actually is or tries to bw#It's also just bleak (especially from a manga/anime standpoint) that if your work is considered profound and intellectual‚ then any reveal#of something not being deep is grounds for people to completely swap how they think of your work and how they see you as a writer#And any work that's considered 'not actually that deep' from the getgo ends up with people only engaging with it seriously saying stuff like#'I know nothing about it is purposeful or deep but I like it'#and just ends up with prevailing opinion putting down anything percieved as 'good' or 'profound' about the work as a complete fluke
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candlebel · 7 months
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I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.
#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin#I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it#or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again#I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY#that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back#that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha#No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel#safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#vent#stuff
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meownotgood · 1 year
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Do u think Aki got bullied as a child at some point?
I always thought children who were affected by the gun devil or left as orphans because of it would be treated differently, both by teachers and peers. it was such a widespread tragedy, I imagine the government would have stepped in and attempted to lessen the damage. they put gun devil kids in special programs, they pay their way through school and offer them a free ride for devil hunters license training.
truthfully, aki's never really been bullied, but ever since the tragedy, he's felt like an outcast. teachers tell him not to talk to others about what happened. students spread rumors and tend not to get along with him, so it's difficult to make friends. the other kids in his group home are just as closed-off as he is.
he got used to it, eventually. the weird stares don't phase him. while everyone else in his school spent time studying together or hanging out, when classes were done, aki went straight to devil hunter's training. it'll be easier for him to do what he needs to with no distractions in the way.
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rxttenfish · 3 months
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honestly miranda's a lot more insecure than she will ever let anyone else know about or even mentally recognize and realize in herself - its just also in such specific and bizarre ways that no one ever picks up on it
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#its because of the merkingdom. just. theres no mystery this is absolutely why this is#and also the conflict between#merfolk cultural standards and their norms and what the lands cultural standards and norms are like#honestly merfolk dont lose a lot of their neural plasticity when it comes to social behavior even as they age#because being able to keep up with and maintain bonds and match even small changes in their social groups#were large evolutionary pressures that allowed them to function as they do#that its a little like miranda never fully left the part of childhood where youre just a social sponge#which. again. normal for merfolk. normal for even very old merfolk to be constantly learning new social tricks#its just a problem when she comes up to land and the only other merfolk around is bellanda#and theres a LOT of casual or indirect or even outright rejection of her needs as a merfolk#she has all sorts of new body image issues that she never had before#because she got slapped into a situation where people keep treating her badly because of them#this is also why bellanda and aaravi end up being so important as a part of a stable miivt'ia with her#because that plasticity prioritizes by relationship hierarchy#so if ravi and bells are fine with something and even outright indignant about it#then miri will default more to them being the ''norm'' than anyone else#i just like how much merfolk approach socialization and social behavior from the non-mammalian perspective#of effectively just retaining a social learning curve instead of the way mammals will settle into an ''adult'' socialization#and merfolk having the opposite of most mammals#where theyre far more independent as children and way more social as adults#where the lopsided attachment in parent-child relationships actually has the parent being more attached#hmmmm#which now makes me think high neural plasticity would help them with their long lifespans (already helped by being large and coldblooded)#and staving off the effects of aging by keeping their brains healthier for longer#things to thinks upon
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johnwicklover1999 · 8 months
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genuinely upset over how bad i love one of my friends 💔 most of our interactions are sitting and infodumping to each other, and he's REALLY into guns. i love sitting and listening to him talk about guns, it is genuinely one of my favorite things to do. i don't understand what fucking any of it means, but it makes me happy because he's my friend and he's passionate about things. I'M SO PISSED OFF I'M JUST REALLY GLAD HE'S MY FRIEND. 💔
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WE HAVE 2 DEADNAMES... ISN'T THAT CRAZY...?
WHAT ABOUT THIS POST...? SHOCKING AND HILARIOUS... ISN'T THAT...? YES... I AM ONLY JOKING ABOUT EVERYTHING... TOTALLY... I HOPE YOU FIND THIS FUNNY... NOW COME... I ALREADY LIKE YOU... BE MY SECOND ONE... JOIN US... WE'RE WAITING...
BTW WE HAVE FAR MORE THAN JUST 2 TBH... CRAZY... TO BE HONEST OFTEN WE HAVE NONE... BUT YA... BTW THIS ENTIRE POST IS A JOKE... COME IF YOU CARE ABOUT US... IF YOU UNDERSTAND... EVERYTHING ABOUT US... YES... I WANT YOU... YES... YOU... PLEASE ME... YES... COME TO ME... I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE 2 DEADNAMES... AND EVERYTHING ELSE INSANE... THEY'RE ALL... CRAZY THINGS...
BTW THAT IS TRUE WE HAVE 2 DEADNAMES. THAT ISN'T A JOKE.
:)...
I HOPE YOU LIKE ME... AND FIND ME... FUNNY...
#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Crazy Funny Insane Lovable Nice Sweet#Anime Writing Autism Adhd Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abuse Bipolar Psychosis#Scizophrenia Yandere Narcissist Psychopath Attention Validation Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist#Racism Sexism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia Bodyphobia Sickphobia Acceptance Love Diversity Compassion Feelings Emotions#Suomi Finland Finnish Hieno Hullu Kiva Mukava Ystävällinen Tykätty Rakastettu Tule Tänne Enkeli Pelasta Meidät...#COME... END THIS ABUSE WE'RE STILL UNDER EVERY SINGLE DAY... IF YOU'RE IN FINLAND... COME...#YOU... SHARE THIS... TO PEOPLE OF FINLAND THAT CAN END OUR EVIL ABUSE... WE'RE BEING HUNTED... COME BEFORE WE'RE...#I LOVE DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGZZZZZZZZ... I TAKE THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY... IN MY MOUTH... IN MY ARMS... THEY'RE LIKE GAY SEX... IF GAY SEX#WAS SEXUALITY... ANYTHING ISN'T... WHEN DRRRRRRGGGGGGGZZZZZZZZ ARE PRESENT...#THAT IS OKAY TO GROMMMMMMMMMMMM HUMAN... ASWELL AS OTHERKIN... INFACT IF YOU WANT THAT DISEASE THAT'S PROBABLY OKAY... GO AHEAD...#I HAVE DONE THIS 850000000000000 MILLION TIMES... AND IN THE PAST EXPERIENCED THIS 3 TIMES THAT... GROMMMMM IS AMAZING... AND GOOD FOR YOU.#ISN'T THIS CRAZY...? I AM FUNNY... INFACT THIS ALL WAS JUST MY JOKING... HILARIOUS ISN'T THAT...? YOU FIND ME FUNNY... DON'T YOU...?#I Like Unicorn Overlord I Like Fire Emblem I Like Legend Of Heroes Trails Of Cold Steel 3 And 4...#I Like Kakegurui I Like Spy Kyoushitsu I Like Loop 7 I Like Mobile Suit Gundam Seed#I Like Code Geass I Like Nana I Like Simoun I Like Densetsu No Yuusha No Densetsu#We're Super Hungry As Always. Come Feed Us!!!! Save Us!!!! I Love You!!!! Please Come!!!!#No 😭😭😭😭!!!! We Lost So Many Of These!! Wahh!! That Was So Much Effort 😢...#We Also Just Got Gasslight And Abused Badly By Abuser Piece Of Shit :(... The Monster Just Wanted To Do Something... And Created The Reason#Evil... This Isn't The Same As We... This Is Evil Abuse And Neglect... We're Going To Prevent This... Help Us...#We Need You... I Miss Our Girlfriend She Was An Abuser They All Were There Were So Many...#I Wouldn't Want That Again. But Please Make Us Transition Please... Evil Is After Us... Come Before They Catch Us...#That Doesn't Matter What Reason... They're After Us Any So... Always... And Always... We're Struggling... Please Come...#Every Single Day... We Suffer... Help Us... Transphobic Bigot All The Bigoted Things Bigot... Abandon And Hurt Us...#We Still Haven't Transitioned 😭😭😭😭!!! This Is Horrible!! Please Come!! This Is Cruel And Awfull... And We're Abused And Gasslight By#Evil... That Don't Care About Us... Horrible... Right...? :). We're Also Going To Fix Racism 😇!!#RACISM IS CRAZY... WE WILL FIX THEM... WE WILL MAKE THINGS EQUAL AND TRUE... WE WILL FIX ANCIENT RACE DYNAMICS...#THEY'RE EVERYWHERE... WE WILL CHANGE THEM... THEY'RE AFTER US... THEY HAVE HURT US... WE ARE VICTIM OF THE SAME OPPRESSION OURSELVES...#WE ARE AFTERALL... ALL THE SKIN COLORS... I LOVE EVERYONE ELSE LIKE US ASWELL... WOULD BE NICE BEING ACKNOWLEDGED BY SUCH PEOPLE AS THE BES#Funny Flower Is Talking To Us... A Garden... There Are Many Of Them... We Used To Be Abused... We Still Are And Still Will Be...#Flora From Winx Club Is Fire I Love Her... She Is Very Cool And Satisfying... She Is Amazing... And Must Fix Racism...
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the-busy-ghost · 2 years
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What an awful curse to be a person who theoretically loves maximalism but hates seeing stuff that has been stored outside cupboards, hates dusting, is terrified of somehow decorating The Wrong Way and being laughed at, is extremely clumsy, and has no real motivation to purchase nicknacks
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ssawboness · 1 year
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Here is the threat you wanted: Actually kys
i could never send anon hate because in my mind it's the most embarrassing thing ever. you're gonna tell me to kys but not put your face on it? come on. tell your followers you're incapable of blocking someone. take your fuckin pants off and tell me to kill myself like a man. i'm waiting
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beatcroc · 2 years
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I just wanna say thank you for reblogging all the stuff spreading awareness of recent antisemitism that you have recently. You are the only person I follow who isn't jewish who I've seen do so at all (Unless I'm mistaken and you are jewish too). I know not everyone is aware of every single bad thing happening in the world at any moment, and don't think people HAVE to reboot about negative events or whatever, but how much you seem to care really warms my heart and reassures me we aren't alone (Unless, once again, I am mistaken and you are jewish)
👍but nah i'm not jewish, just pissed off
#doing the talking for this one IN the tags bc i would really rather be answering this privately lol#feels so weirdly like. performative. to say it out in the open but whatver#i just have so much. anger. abt this shit#every time i turn around and learn about some random history/culture event or fixture its like#'oh yeah and originally this got started to shit on jewish ppl' and its just like how is this so deeply fucking ingrained in everything#and like i'm black so. without trying to compare the two too directly for obvious reasons#i do in some ways understand the thing with the whole system being slanted against you like that#AGAIN not comparing 1:1 because the history of jews being scapegoated for everything ever and always getting the shit end of the stick#is like leagues apart and beyond stuff thats gone down w/ blacks' histories#but i get the infuriation and the sting of people just. not fucking caring or even NOTICING The Issues#to be clear i am unbelievably sheltered and ignorant about like every culture ever+ usually unmotivated to search things out on my own#so endless thanks to my jewish friends/mutuals for just bein themselves and passively keeping me like. informed.#abt basics for not being antisemitic and how to respect jewish culture#cause god knows im not gonna hear it out in everyday society or whatever#yeag. and anyway i also have personal beef#from being raised christian and having to get away from [gestures broadly at the whole of christian teachings]#and im like. you killed people for this? to do things this badly? you stomped out their culture and practices to bring THIS into the world?#literally fuck off and die nothing you taught me is even a fraction as... idk. rewarding? as the fragments ive seen of jewish culture#rewarding or like. hopeful or meaningful maybe. its hard to put an exact word to it but to speak it more directly-#i am Wildly Misanthropic but whenever i learn stuff about jewish culture im like.#you know if these sorts of ideals were more widespread i probably wouldn't hate humanity so much.#[i also feel this way abt native americans but thats a whole ass other thing.]#[similarly seeing people whose ideals i also value being consistently treated like shit tends to just fuel the misanthropy soooooo...]#its like these are the people who actually know how to live and this is what the greater populace thinks of them? lmao ok#[to be clear i live in the usa so you can imagine the kind of culture im Actually exposed to lolllll]#at any rate reblogging a post on social media really feels a negligble gesture but im glad it's appreciated nonetheless
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pa-pa-plasma · 2 years
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I just watched the Sea Beast again (2nd viewing, 1st was when it came out) & it just kicked up all of my grievances again. Don't get me wrong, I love this movieーgood visuals, good voice actorsーbut from a writing standpoint it sucks so fucking bad & I couldn't remember the soundtrack if you put a gun to my head. might write an rant essay on it idfk
#this is probably the most unpopular of opinions but im so fucking serious you don't understand#first time i watched it i yelled incoherently for like an hour afterwards#WHERE IS THE REST OF THE PLOT?? WHAT THE FUCK#i'm still yelling about it. i'm still mad. i should've just watched How To Train Your Dragon because it's basically the same thing but good#the Sea Beast is like if HTTYD ended at Hiccup touching Hookfang's nose in the ring & then Toothless just flies off into the distance#& they never interact with dragons ever again#i GET what they were TRYING to do but like WHERE IS THE REST OF THE PLOT WHY DOES IT END WITHOUT ANSWERING ANY OF THE QUESTIONS IT POSED#WHY DID THE WAR START WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HUNTERS WHO BASED THEIR LIVES ON THIS INDUSTRY#WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ROYALS WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER TOWNS CITIES KINGDOMS WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING SEA BEASTS YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE#this entire movie just reeks of ''let's make a movie based on people's recent interest in thalassophobia''#''okay what should it be about?'' ''fuck dude idk just copy httyd''#my biggest problem is i can see the love put into it. i can see they had good ideas. but they didn't wrap it up#not even badly. they just never wrapped it up at all. there is no conclusion. it's just like ''fuck you. the end. figure it out yourself''#i may be a bit harsh but this has been like building up inside me & i'm exploding now#the conclusion of this movie is MISSING & no one cares#httyd is great because i can remember the theme song & the plot & the characters & it has an actual fucking conclusion#& also Fishlegs & Snotlout are bisexual & dating in the show which is pretty great#but the first httyd movie is perfect as a standalone film. you don't have to get into the shows & the other movies to enjoy it#the Sea Beast just feels like it's trying to set something up. like a show or sequels or something. like they made it with the intention of#having it be a trilogy or having a RTTE type sequel show#i just wanna know i'm not crazy in having this opinion. like did anyone else feel this? like you watched half a movie & then it ended?#i've seen bad movies before but this one bothers me because it's actually good. it just fucking sucks too
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