#this absolute GOOBER

[fuckyeahgongyoo]

"I'll be on the two most anticipated series."

Nov 2024 | Management Soop Soopoiler (x)

[neon-tigre95]

i haven't posted anything maccready related in a hot minute so y'know the drill

[trollprincess]

The “fetch” conundrum:

Dog clearly wants to play fetch.

Dog does not want to bring me the ball.

I get up to go get the ball and he will immediately pick it up and run off.

Therefore, dog has fetched me instead.

[trollprincess]

Yup.

look at your phone lock screen. that's your reason to keep goin

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)

[jackabbot]

HOUSE M.D. 7.21 • The Fix ⇲ Wilson's victory dance for @henley-reeves <3

[poorlemons]

the bouquet comment from @koo-zine sparked very strong inspiration in me. sometimes a you try to cheer up your friend with flowers that she clearly likes in a color that is absolutely her favorite, and find out she has *very strong* allergies also this is fueling my ambulatory wheelchair user michael agenda

[kyurochurro]

why doesnt the big monkee eat the little monkee 🤔

[minalover]

otp tags & crack buddie (canon 1) (canon 2)

[ferntern]

Little grub and her treehouse friends.（ ・ω・）

[eueball]

just a couple of silly dudes!!

[trollprincess]

Oh, God. Okay, I need to tell y’all a story.

But first, a reminder. This is Professor:

Well, it’s a much younger Professor. But whatever. That’s Professor, short for Professor Pancakes, shorter still for Professor Huckleberry Elizabeth Pancakes III. That’s my child.

There are two things you need to know about Professor before I continue this story. The first is that he is a professional toy destroyer who can surgically remove a squeaker from a stuffed toy with those nose and those teeth in under a minute. The second is that while Mama is in the shower, he likes to steal the things I just took off. Pants, underwear, bras … he’ll immediately grab something and drag it into the next room.

There’s a third thing you should know, this time about me. This is Shark Week.

(I’m genuinely not trying to be coy or anything. It’s my period, it’s day two, yadda yadda. Shark Week’s just fun to say.)

Anyway, I mostly use a menstrual cup these days. (I have two, with the intention I will keep one in my purse for emergencies, which of course I never remember to do.) For those of you who don’t know what a menstrual cup is, it looks like this:

Some of you may already see where this is going.

Anyway, I wake up at noon (I work nights and I just finished my weekend shift), I have my biweekly phone session with my therapist, then I get up to take a shower. Professor, who has spent the last hour hanging out on the bed and letting Mama pet him while she vents on the phone, now knows that a trip to the dog park is imminent. He follows happily after me into the bathroom.

I get undressed, leaving my clothes on the floor. Professor sniffs them, but doesn’t steal anything as of yet. I go to the toilet, remove the cup, empty it, and then go to the sink to wash it before I go in the shower. Professor watches all of this.

I finish cleaning the cup, place it on top of the toilet, then turn on the shower and get in. I have completely forgotten Professor has not stolen anything I was wearing yet.

As I’m standing in the shower rinsing the conditioner from my hair, I hear two sounds. The first is dog toenails on linoleum as Professor jumps up to get something. The second is what sounds remarkably like the jumping desk lamp in the Pixar opening.

I have been awake for a bit at this point, but it still takes me a few seconds to put the pieces together. When I do, I blurt out:

“Professor, did you just steal Mama’s squeaker?!”

Obviously, I knew what he had. But I am also laughing at myself, because my brain a.) completely forgot the words “menstrual cup” and b.) replaced them with what I’m normally hearing him run around with in his mouth.

Now, at this point, I am done showering, and I am drying myself off while calling out, “Professor! I swear to God if you have Mama’s squeaker …” I put in the other squeaker … er, cup, then go looking for the one I had been planning to use.

I find it just outside the bathroom door in the middle of the kitchen. Professor is sitting in the door to the kitchen looking at me. It looks exactly like this.

He is the picture of innocence. Chonky, chonky innocence.

“Professor, you can’t be stealing Mama’s squeaker,” I am saying as I pick up the squea— CUP. I pick up the CUP and put it in the bathroom to clean. And then I tell him that it’s my squeaker and it’s not a toy and he can’t just take my squeakers, and I am saying this in VERY SERIOUS TONES to a dog who, you will be surprised to learn, does not speak English.

Anyway, I shall be putting my squeaker on a higher shelf next time. And I may never stop calling it my squeaker again.

[sevennone]

240922 | 😋😵🤪😱

[charlie-shoeshine]

Im breaking out the alcohol markers and new pens I got for chrimus

[littlelycann]

little! shigaraki & cg! dabi moodboard 🎧

(edit: one image replaced per request of the owner, please take down any reblogs containing the original!)

[sleep-deprived-mf]

When the hurt face so goofy you turn it into a reaction image