#this also turned out realllly long

[mccnstruck]

your wishes marked on my skin (your vision blurred with mine)

characters: kazuha x gn!reader, tomo, mentions of beidou, gorou, raiden shogun, and traveller

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, good ending, headcanons included, major character death, 5k words (ZEE GONE INSANE NOT CLICKBAIT), long fic, curse word, not focused on relationship, reader has a vision and weapon of choice, not proofread, op has gone insane and now is short-circuited to only thinking of kazuha, op has gone bonkers in tags, traveller uses they/them pronouns, unspecified traveler, canon semi-complient

a/n: holy SHIIHDBFJDSFFSFDS. Um. I kinda. Yea this was 5k words what the hell zee DO SOMETHING ELSE YOU HAVE 3 TESTS TOMORROW- anyways i REALLLLY HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS cuz i sure enjoyed writing and imagining this at school. Reblogs and tags are much appreciated yea i hope you have a ASTRONOMICALLY GREAT DAY / NIGHT !!!!! (Zee is hyper because he is going insane) (p.s. i had 168 premium grammarly errors on this piece thats how you know this about to go crazy. crazy i was crazy once they-) (P.S.S. EARLY BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR KAZUHA BECAUSE I AM BUSY ANYWAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAZUHA I LOVE YOU MERA CHAANDA MERA JAAN)

What if there were tattoos in teyvat...but with a twist?

If you are a vision wielder, you can infuse elemental power into your tattoo. Whenever you get into battle, your tattoo glows and it stays glowing until the battle is over.

But, you could also have other vision wielders infuse your tattoo as well.

When you, kazuha, and tomo used to travel together, you proposed of the idea.

"Hey... we should get matching tattoos! You know, the ones with each other visions infused. That would be cool."

Kazuha hummed in response. “Don’t they hurt though?”

Tomo brightened at your suggestion. “Oh yeah! Some methods of inking hurt, but some are less painful and take longer. I think the method they use to infuse elemental power does take longer, considering the person has to wield their vision AND bear the pain.”

Kazuha hummed again but in disagreement. “Why would you make yourself go through all that pain once more?”

The companion to Kazuha’s left let out a huff. “Pssh, in comparison to the result! We can have permanent matching tattoos to remind us of the amazing friendship we have!”

You nodded excitedly. “See Kazuha, even Tomo thinks it’s a great idea! However…”

Tomo and Kazuha both turn to face you with curiosity.

“...I fail to agree with how Tomo views one part of our bond…”

“Hm? [ name ], what do you mean,” Tomo questioned.

You took a deep breath before sending a prayer to any archon who would answer in time. for you were about to make what you believed was the riskiest choice of your life.

You brought Kazuha’s closest hand and let your thumb stroke his rough, calloused skin, before lifting it to your lips. Letting your lips linger on his skin, you ignored both Kazuha’s and Tomo’s widened eyes and whispered your confession. “I would like to turn it into something more. If… If you would allow me.”

When you looked to see him, Kazuha’s face was burning. For once, the calm, collected wanderer was not calm and collected at all. To your side, Tomo let out a whistle which caused Kazuha’s face to become undoubtedly more flustered.

Tomo smirked before saying, “Well, well, well. looks like [ name ] learned from the best,” before patting himself on the back, smug and prideful of himself.

You copied his words mockingly. You let go of Kazuha's hands, instead focusing on making sure Tomo ate dust. Both of these duties were equally important to you, but sometimes you have to fight for dignity, and if anyone could make sure Tomo didn’t leave with your pride, it would be you.

You two bickered for what seemed like ages before Kazuha finally spoke up. “You guys…”

Both you and Tomo immediately shut up and held your breaths at the sudden change of tone.

“Sorry Kazuha…”

“No worries…”

Kazuha looked at you two for what seemed like ages. He realized that, out of all the times and out of all the people he would even dare to get a tattoo, you two were the most reasonable choice. You three have explored, laughed, and eaten together. As wanderers, you’ve slept under the same stars and ran through the same quick-tempered storms. So as much as he didn’t want to deal with more pain for the sake of it, he would want to have both of you engraved into his skin, both of your souls running through his blood. When he is separated from you two (archons forbid), all he would have to do is look at his forearms to remind him of the bond you’ve tightened with one another. It would remind him that “distance makes the heart grow fonder”.

“I would like them. The tattoos.”

Tomo scoffed and shot a disapproving look at you. “See, now that you have Kazuha wrapped around your finger, he’ll agree to anything now!”

“Hey! He’s doing it out of free will. And oh please, you’re just whiny that you’re gonna be third wheeling now!”

“Who said I was gonna be third wheeling?!”

Kazuha smiled, as the bickering sprang back into life. You three reached the city to search for a tattoo, a symbol of the bond you have made with them. Nothing will break it apart.

And you did get the tattoos! For all three of you, each of your forearms was covered in traditional Inazuman artworks, symbolizing each person.

Kazuha chose the maple tree, Tomo chose the koi fish, and you chose the rising sun. Each has its symbolism, having its own way of reminding you of each other.

Kazuha wouldn’t be Kazuha without representing the calm, peaceful maple tree, standing over to make sure all under the shade is rested.

As his perseverance and his courage make him a good traveling companion, Tomo represents the koi fish.

As for you… You found yourself closest to the rising sun. Ever so optimistic, ever so hopeful for the new day. The darkness may have clung to you; trying to slowly hack into your mind to give up, trying to belittle your efforts. But when dawn breaks and the sun rises, the newfound warmth comforts your shivering body. The sun is there to say all will be alright.

…

Except when it isn’t.

For as soon as it seemed like everything would be okay, that hope was crushed by reality as quickly.

The Vision Hunt Degree had been ordered by the Shogun to kill anyone who possessed one.

The day it was enforced to all of Inazuma was the day the two closest people in your life were separated from you. In the heat of the moment, you shouted for them to run; for you would distract the soldiers. Tomo and Kazuha both tried to ignore your order and keep on fighting but were soon met with a sting on their arm. The rising sun drawn on their arms practically shone with the color of your vision, and it was hard to ignore how much of your vision you were using.

“I said, GO!”

They had no time to disagree with you, for another soldier swung the sword at both of them. You saw them running in the corner of your eyes, assumably heading in different directions before focusing on the battle in front of you.

Your anger manifested into your attacks, your arms glowing.

How… How could the Shogun be so cruel..? How could she just determine that Inazuma's hopes and ambitions were useless? How could she take the people closest to you away…?

The soldiers fell to the ground one by one as they tried to get back up. With the last of them wounded temporarily, you ran as quickly as you could. Trying to find Kazuha and Tomo, you lifted your hand to block the light and search far and wide…

Only to find nothing.

Your heart felt as if it stopped and a new sense of fear rushed through. What if they were hurt? What if they were lost, or found by the soldiers? Or worse…What if they were lying dead?

What if what if what if what if what if what if WHAT IF-

You look down and see the maple tree and the koi fish glowing; purple and teal were coloring your arms. The glow didn’t sting, so you knew they weren’t out in battle, but they were out there. They were alive.

You sighed in relief, but it didn’t last long when you heard soldiers yelling to find you. You quickly hid under the trees and took one last look at the view ahead of you. The distance grows the heart fonder, and in this situation, much, much more disquieted.

And for the first time in what seemed like forever, you were alone. And you felt it in your soul.

Before you met Kazuha and Tomo, you were alone. You wandered around, knowing you were to be by yourself. You were just “yourself”.

But now that you know you were separated from them, it was terrifying.

Now, if someone asked “how are you”, the word “you” was Tomo, you, and Kazuha laughing along the trails leading to the city. “You” included the times you watched the stars, pointing to different constellations.

“You” included you, Kazuha, and Tomo.

And now that two-thirds of yourself were lost, you felt as if you would never relieve this pain in your heart.

Every day, you looked at your arms and were met with how dull they looked without the familiar purple and teal glow.

But still, you didn’t stop.

Wandering through a small town, you sat down on the grass to take a rest. There weren’t any soldiers around, and your face was hidden by a hat.

“Did you hear?!”

Your ears perked up at the stranger’s sudden shock.

“What happened? You seem so shocked.”

The stranger closest to you took a deep breath as if what he witnessed was a burden to his soul.

“Someone is challenging Kujou Sara in Tenshukaku, and the loser will face the Shogun's punishment… Last time I saw him, he had an electro vision…”

Your eyes widened. Please don’t be….he couldn’t have…

“Did you see him in person?”

“Yeah, I think he has some tattoos on his arms. I saw a tattoo of a koi fish and a maple tree on his arm-“

“Did you hear that?!”

The two strangers looked towards where you were but found nothing but a straw hat gently falling onto the grass.

Up ahead, your legs ran faster than your mind trying to make sense of it all.

Tomo.

Tomo.

You ran, and you ran, and when you felt like your heart was going to burst, you remembered Tomo, and you ran faster. Your legs felt like they were merely connected to your body, running to a place of its own. But what could you do, when your mind still couldn't find an explanation for all of this?

Tomo… why would he stand before Raiden's Musou no Hitomachi? He knew Kujou Sara was a potent individual, so why…

Thoughts lingered through your mind as you caught sight of Inazuma City. The thunder roared, and you realized it didn't have the spark it used to have.

Your hands shook as the Inazuma City you once knew was not your Inazuma City.

It felt too stiff. Too suffocating. You couldn't feel the cool air breeze through your hair, as the humidity made you want to turn back.

You force yourself to run down to the entrance of the city and Tenshukaku.

You were scared. More than scared. Your shaking hands held your vision close.

Would you see Tomo smiling in victory? Or would you see your vision go white from her strike? Would you regain your vision to see one of your closest friends lying in his blood?

Your pace grew faster and faster.

And faster.

And faster and faster and faster-

But when you stopped in front of the stairs where Tomo was supposed to be, you instead saw Kazuha run to you, panicked. And in his burnt hands, was a gray vision, with the markings of an electro holder.

You were too late.

You almost didn't hear Kazuha's desperate pleas as he grabbed your hand.

"[ Name ], we have to go."

You both ran down the stairs as soldiers ran after; their shouts ringing through your ears.

“You can't resist the Shogun's punishment, criminals!"

Ignoring their threats, you ran past Inazuma City’s entrance and soon past Konda Village. You couldn’t tell if the soldiers were still behind you, but it didn’t matter when all you could hear was their voices running through your head. You and Kazuha ran for what felt like hours. No matter how hard you tried to slow your pacing heart, Kazuha tugged your hand as he ran. You wanted to tell him to slow down, but you didn’t have the heart to.

You didn’t have the heart after you were too slow to save Tomo.

The rain poured as thunder roared in your ears. You and Kazuha ran into a cave and leaned against the wall to catch your breath.

Kazuha, sitting opposite of you, pulled out the gray, lifeless vision. His hands were burned, yet they gripped the vision painfully.

Your breath hitched. Your throat closed in on itself, and your memories of Tomo flashed through your eyes.

Tomo.

Tomo.

Tomo.

Before you could stop yourself, the tears matched the rain out of the cave, and you shakily held Kazuha’s hands. Your tears fell on the vision that once shined with the pride of an electro holder, and your agony couldn’t be held in you anymore.

A gut-wrenching cry of his name left your throat, and you let the cold, gray vision touch your forehead. Kazuha didn’t have the energy to wince; his tears hitting the ground.

The sun never shone that day. And the sun in your soul didn’t either.

After that day, both you and Kazuha stayed by each other’s side, graciously taking the help of the Kamisato clan to board the Crux.

Beidou’s crew were extremely generous to both of you, making sure you got used to life above seas. Yet, they always wondered why you and Kauzha were so quiet. You only talked to each other, and your interactions were short and dry.

As months passed, Kazuha grew to be much more chatty with the crew, even letting you hear his poems underneath the moonlight.

You were genuinely happy for him. Kazuha deserved to let the world guide his spirits without any hesitation. You never wanted the shine in Kazuha’s eyes to stop shining, unlike the fateful day you both witnessed.

But you…you never let it go. You couldn’t let yourself forget.

Too slow.

You were too slow to save him.

Working on the ship, you made sure your hands swiftly moved through your chores; making sure your lack of speed didn’t burden any of the crew. When you had time to yourself, your hands gripped your weapon and your steps were swift and sneaky. Your body ached to rest, but your heart disagreed. You were to make sure that this would never happen again. You were to make sure no one would lose their life because of you.

Kazuha watched your eyes struggle to open daily, your fingers bruised and sore, and the hours spent training without a minute to rest. Captain Beidou seemed to notice as well.

“Kazuha?”

His head turned to the side as his legs dangled over the side of the boat.

“Yes, Captain Beidou?”

She sighed, and she looked to make sure you weren’t near.

“It’s about your partner.”

Kazuha frowned.

“I am aware.”

“Please talk to them. They look like death is at their door. Does this have to do with going back to Inazuma?”

Kazuha nodded and turned his head back to the sea.

“The wind tells me of their concerns. I hear the fears that crawl through their mind. The sun doesn’t shine in their soul like it used to.”

He looked down at his arms as the color of your vision glowed on his arms.

Beidou patted Kazuha’s shoulder in solace.

“I understand. Just…please get a chance to talk to them. I wouldn’t want a part of my crew working themselves to death. As a part of the Crux, you guys have a support system behind you. If you ever need us, you know where.”

Kazuha smiled and whispered a “thank you”, as Beidou returned to help the crew navigate the ship. He looked over at you, who came back from training, and smiled. You gave a tired but soft smile back, before leaving to finish up chores.

The sun was no longer visible as the crew finished their tasks and headed to their cabins. Instead of resting, Kazuha watched over the seas. The moonlight hit his face, and the black ink swiftly glided over his journal.

“I was wondering where you could’ve been. You weren’t in the cabin.”

Kazuha turned to see you walking up to him. Your eyes pleaded to shut, and for a moment you were about to fall asleep standing up. Yet, you still went to make sure Kauzha was okay.

Kazuha cupped your face, and you leaned into his touch.

“Kazu…”

“Do you wish to hear something I wrote?”

You slowly nodded. Kazuha looked at his journal and whispered.

“Rising sun hidden,

the world’s horror blinding you,

my sun stays fearful.”

When Kazuha looked back at you, he almost giggled at your sleep-deprived state. Your eyes were closed, and you leaned into his hand like a pillow.

“Mmm…? That’s nice, Kazuha…”

He smiled at your attempt to stay awake. “Let’s get you to bed, sleepy.”

Your head landed on his shoulder as you shuffled your feet. Kazuha sighed in relief that everyone was in their cabins. He wouldn’t be able to take the crew’s teasing if they ever saw the comical sight of you two.

As soon as you caught sight of your bed, you fell into it and brought the soft blankets up to your chin.

You were dead asleep, it seemed.

Kazuha climbed into bed and laid his head next to yours. With his eyes drooping, Kazuha whispered one more thing before falling into slumber.

“My rising sun. Please don’t hide yourself away from everyone. We’re always here for you. I’m here. Always.”

When Kazuha fell asleep soon after, he never noticed the tears on your skin.

You whispered back. “Thank you.”

After that night, Kazuha was thrilled to see you walking around the boat with more energy, even taking the time to sit with Kazuha as he mused over his poems.

Kazuha recently had started to see if he could somehow ignite the purple glow into the vision, while you had no hope for it.

“Kazuha… are you sure?”

“I want to at least try once. After all, it couldn’t hurt, would it?”

“I guess…”

You both meet a blonde traveler with fiery gold eyes. As the Traveler competed throughout the contest hosted by Beidou, you couldn’t help but notice Kazuha’s keen interest in the traveler.

“You’ve been staring at the Traveler for quite a while. What’s up with that?”

Kazuha hummed. “The wind tells me that this humble traveler is going to be more important to our journey than it seems.”

He paused. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing. Just wondering, that's all.”

You both stayed silent as you watched the duels unfold.

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

You gasped and almost choked on your spit. You turn your head to Kazuha who grinned mischievously.

“Huh?! Where did you get that?!”

Kazuha pretended to act bewildered at your reaction. “Your reaction is quite defensive, dear. That says quite a lot, doesn’t it?”

“You…you! I never thought of you being so cunning and devious!”

Kazuha giggled, and you smiled back. “I’m just teasing. Although, I wasn’t necessarily wrong.”

You scoffed with faux anger. “Focus on the duels, Kazu…”

As expected, the Traveler was victorious in the duels, since the last challenger was nowhere to be found.

Suspicious of the no-show, Kazuha checked to see the award to find nothing in the chest. Kazuha’s eyes widened and his tone lost its playfulness.

“Someone stole the vision.”

You quickly stood up to check yourself and were also greeted by a visionless chest.

Beidou’s voice echoed to the crew. “Everyone start searching!”

You soon found the vision to be with a treasure hoarder. The hoarder begging for his life, Kazuha sighed and confiscated the vision. You and Kazuha were quite impressed with the Traveler’s ability to wield elemental power without a vision.

All that the Traveler asked was to be taken to Inazuma. With final warnings and hesitations from you, the Traveler was to board the ship with you to the land of eternity.

When the ship did reach the docks, the Traveler and Paimon immediately hopped off and looked at the beauty of Inazuma.

With hesitation you walk to the wooden dock, the Inazuman breeze flowing past you.

The Traveler looked back and smiled at you and Kazuha. “Thank you so much, you two.”

You smiled back, shaking your head. “No worries. Just make sure to remember what I said. Don’t want you to get hurt, ok?”

Kazuha snickered next to you. “You sound like a parent. But please do heed caution. May you meet us again, Traveler.”

Paimon laughed, “Alright, alright, we’ll see you later!”

Paimon and the Traveler waved before they headed to Ritou.

Beidou suddenly walked past both of you, before saying she wanted to take the Traveler to Thoma. You both nodded, promising to watch over the ship.

As you returned to the ship, Kazuha looked over the horizon into Ritou.

“Worried?”

Kazuha hummed.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Will the Traveler be alright? I understand the incredible ability to have elemental power without a vision, but…”

“But…?”

He looked down at his arms and stared at the koi fish. “Tomo.”

You looked down onto your arms and stared into the grey koi fish. "Tomo…"

You willed yourself not to shed a tear and squeezed Kazuha's shoulder. "We're not going to let anyone else lose their life and their vision. Not even the Traveler. The dreams of Inazuma will not be stuck to rot in eternity. You got it?'"

Kazuha looked back at you and smiled, wiping a tear from his eye. "Yes, we will."

You took his hand and pulled him towards you, wrapping your arms around his back. He buried his head in the crook of your neck and you pressed your lips to the top of his head.

You quickly lowered your voice before continuing. "I think the Traveler has a major role in the freedom of Inazuma. The Traveler has a lot of power with no vision."

Kazuha hummed in agreement.

"Yet… I fear the Shogun will be displeased with the Traveler’s ability to change her view of eternity."

"The shogun wouldn't be pleased with anything, Kazuha. But in retaliation, do years of anger ask whether anyone's feelings would be hurt?"

A moment of silence, before Kazuha whispered, "You're right. Thank you, dear."

You loosened your embrace to kiss him on the forehead. "Let's go eat something. I'm sure I saw the chef cooking the fish well."

Kazuha laughed, and you swore to the Shogun that nothing, not even her, could take Kazuha from you.

You both walked to the kitchen to fulfill your stomach's desire, and you made your heart promise to you that day to never stop fighting for Inazuma. For your heart desired to love Inazuma, and in turn, Inazuma would always welcome you home.

Months of preparation and months of aiding the resistance, you and Kazuha finally step foot in Inazuma, fighting with Kokomi and her resistance to let the Kujou army retreat.

The Traveler and Paimon were very happy to see both of you, telling you of their journey and the fight with the Shogun herself. Kazuha’s and your eyes widened at the tales they told.

“Like… fighting the Shogun?”

“Technically? Thoma and I ran out as soon as possible and I came to the resistance.”

You were awed by the Traveler’s skill and wit to not be killed by the Shogun. You knew that they were extraordinary, and the Traveler did not disappoint, soon finding out about the delusions being handed out.

You couldn't be surprised at the Fatui's inhumane crimes. But the severity of the damage. The lives lost to their carelessness. The dreams which no longer thrived.

Your fingers and arms shook with anger. You tapped your fingers on your leg to resist pulling out your sword and stabbing the wall.

The Traveler gave you a joyless smile, understanding your pain.

The Traveler went off to fight Raiden Shogun, and Kazuha, the resistance, and you stood outside Tenshukaku. You were discussing tactics to negotiate when the Traveler came back out smiling.

You all watched the Traveler and Paimon walk out of Tenshukaku with a triumphant smile. You were about to run to the Traveler to praise them when a flash of electro appeared behind them. Your eyes widened and you swore you almost saw flashbacks running through your head.

The shogun emerged behind the Traveler and raised her sword.

You couldn't do anything. She was going to kill another person.

The adrenaline ran through Kazuha's body, and he ran towards the Shogun with his sword out.

You saw a flash of purple overwhelm your vision, and you already prepared yourself to see the Shogun's purple glow kill Kazuha.

What you didn't expect was to see your arms glowing in purple and teal. Looking up, you saw Kazuha’s vision glowing as his sword clashed with the Shogun's. Close to his vision, Tomo's vision glowed a vivid purple. The vision glowed brighter and brighter, and as your arms glowed an insane purple, Kazuha struck the Shogun back.

Tomo.

Tomo.

The vision.

The vision lit up.

You whispered.

"Holy shit."

Kazuha was knocked back by her sword and fell backward. His sword stabbed itself into the ground, and he kneeled in pain.

You and Gorou rushed to him to make sure he was alright. You looked at the visions on his belt, before looking back at the Shogun.

Anger bubbled in your throat, and adrenaline ran through your veins. Your vision revealed itself and glowed profusely. The tattoos on Kazuha's and your skins glowed. Before you could process your own emotions, you stood and let out a gut-wrenching, demanding yell. But it wasn't painful like that fateful day. It was of rebellion and hope.

"Charge!"

You ran towards the Shogun with your weapon in your hand and your heart laid out in plain sight.

Except it wasn’t for the Shogun to shatter. It was for the Inazuman kids who dreamed of going into the world. It was for the Inazuman shopkeepers who always looked at the ocean longingly. It was for the Inazuman vision holders to freely let their vision guide them through their ambitions. It was for future electro-holders to make a difference in their lives. It was for Inazuma to glow its purple light throughout Tevyat. It was for Inazuma. This was for Inazuma and it’s forever changing people.

Gorou soon ordered to attack, and the resistance fighters ran beside you towards the Teyvat.

So this is what Tomo felt, you thought. You were to be insane for fighting, but you would be damned to give in to the Shogun. Because do years of anger ask whether anyone's feelings are hurt?

The shogun seemed unfazed by the army charging at her and opened the Plane of Euthymia. The Traveler fell inside, and she shut the seeming new realm. You tried to grab the Traveler back, but the Shogun was faster. The Plane closed, and you cursed at the winds. You looked to the skies to see gray clouds fill the skies.

Why were you too late every time?

You stopped to catch your breath and looked at the ground where the Shogun stood.

The electro-marked ground darkened from the rigorous and desperate fighting to be free.

You looked back at Kazuha and looked back at the fighters who were paused in their steps. Their eyes widened at the disappearance, and their eyebrows were furrowed from the anger, which turned into confusion.

Your voice echoed down the staircase, and it felt like you were yelling to all of Inazuma.

“To all who have visions! To all who have lost theirs!”

Eyes of fighters watched you with curiosity. Crimson eyes watched you with admiration.

“Our visions are a symbol of life to all! With the Shogun’s order to take them away, our humanity is stripped away from us to fit us into a mold of unattainable eternity! To all who have visions, don’t hide yourself anymore! Our ambitions, our dreams, our emotions, and our humanity shouldn’t be diminished to a name on a gravestone! Everyone, pull out your visions! Channel the overwhelming emotions in your heart to your vision! Let the Shogun hear your wishes no matter how far she is, for she is omnipresent!”

The fighters yelled and made their presence known. Some of them closed their eyes to let their visions glow, and you soon joined them. Your heart raced, and your arms glowed the color of your vision. You felt electro cackle around you as it stroked your skin.

The statue outside Tenshukaku glowed in different colors: dark blue, crimson red, bright teal, light blue, gold, and electrifying purple.

The fighters kept envisioning their power in their visions for as long as they could. They didn’t leave, standing with their hand on their vision for as long as they needed to.

And with every action comes a reaction.

The Plane of Euthymia reemerged, and the Traveler fell out of its opening. Bruised and tired, but alive the Traveler seemed.

Gorou, Kazuha and you rushed to their aid. The fighter stood close in case another attack were to happen.

“Traveler, what happened? Are you okay?!”

The traveler struggled to catch their breath but spoke small words as they recovered.

“The…the Vision Hunt…Vision Hunt Decree…”

Your eyebrows furrowed in worry. What did the Shogun want now?

You spoke in confusion. “The Vision Hunt Decree? What does she want?”

The Traveler raised their head and closed their eyes in bliss. Sweat dripped from their face, and they smiled.

“The Vision Hunt Decree. It’s over. It’s gone. Your pleas and protests got to her.”

Your mind stopped all thoughts.

…What?

Blue and crimson eyes widened at the Traveler’s statement.

Your voice unusually got quiet. “You’re joking, right?”

The Traveler laughed, more out of euphoria. “I got back from almost dying from her sword, and you’re asking me if I’m joking? Tell the entirety of Inazuma. They deserve to know this; this is for them.”

You stood up in a daze and shouted.

“The Vision Hunt Decree is over! The Vision Hunt is over!”

The resistance fighters roared in joy. Their steps, running down the staircase, echoed to the winds, and the winds blew in freedom.

Your body ran down the stairs with them, and your voice cracked with emotion as you shouted down the steps of Inazuma City. People stood outside to check the commotion and were instead met with a new sense of freedom. Visions hidden in homes began to glow, and the cheers and laughter of Inazuma echoed around you.

Overwhelmed with too many emotions, you stopped in your tracks when you felt your vision getting blurry. Behind you, Kazuha shouted for your name repeatedly. You looked behind and were almost tackled into the ground. Kazuha’s shoulders shook as he wrapped his arms around you. You responded in kind and sunk your knees onto the floor.

You both wept in joy. For the people you have lost, and for the people who are given freedom.

Kazuha’s voice cracked as he spoke,” We did it. It’s over.”

You cried even more in his arms. Kazuha held your hand as his endless tears journeyed down his face.

“Do you… Do you think Tomo is happy with us?”

At the mention of his name, Kazuha gritted his teeth and almost let out a sob. He raised your head with his hand on your jaw, and you finally saw Kazuha’s tear-stained face. He quickly tried to rub them away, but you were faster. You gently put your forehead on his and closed his eyes.

Kazuha closed his own and whispered in the abode of two lovers’ embrace. “He would be so proud. He would be watching us right now and grin at his glowing vision.”

“Maybe he’s probably cursing at both of us for the non-stop crying.”

Kazuha let out a watery laugh. “He would, but you would be arguing back. Non-stop bickering between you guys.”

You almost gave a snarky response when you felt the sunlight caress your skin. You looked up to find the gray clouds giving way to the sun, and you were enamored with the blue skies that grazed over Inazuma. Kazuha looked up as well, and as the city of Inazuma saw the sun in its glory, no one noticed the slight glow of purple koi fish on bruised, yet glowing skin.

mccnstruck. do not repost or plagarize my work.

[galaxygirl8880]

I like- realllly want more Holy Trinity fanfics- (A.k.a: Self-sacrificial bastards)

I'm thinking of making a series of loosely connected one shots that will be mostly filled with crack but I also want angst-

Im taking inspiration from multiple fanfics and I will credit them if I ever get the fic out-

I want them to travel world's and just- have fun with it-

Like-

---

"Cale, remember that one world where there were demons everywhere?"

"Yess..?"

"Dokja turned into a demon"

"THE FUC-"

---

"Let's become pirates"

"why"

"Already bought the ship"

"Cale how the fuck-"

-

"Hah! This is fun!"

"..I have never seen a world official look so defeated-"

*Dokja cackling in the bg because Cale took basically ALL of the world government's money*

---

If I posted the fic and it got a decent amount of attention, I'd probably involve the readers in what worlds they want to see the trio in-

I also want angst.

They're too busy traveling places and doing crap to notice that their memories are slipping.

How long has it been-?

Yoojin is helping host a banquet for Constellations and Dokja doesn't want to go as TMAD so he gives the invitation to cale instead. Cale makes his appearance after falling for Yoojin's puppy eyes and takes notice of a strange group that he has never seen before.

Constellations are flocking towards Cale because they've never actually seen TMAD before and he lets the strange group slip his mind.

*later*

"Yoojin why did you bring strangers into our house"

"...I felt bad-"

*Han Yoohyun who took advantage of his amnesiac hyung's weakness towards his puppy eyes*

---

When Cale gets thrown back into his old world (that he has no memories of) he's stronger but is also trying to find his way back to the other two

On another note, the efforts of search parties looking for the commander have multiplied.

---

This is going to make sense to no one but me-

It will make more sense once I actually start writing the fic lmao

..

Probably-

[starryjkoo]

Dispatch said documentary, we know there’s a travel show (it sounded like a one-off thing but you never know), apparently JKs dancers are in Tokyo(?), MAMA is on the 28th/29th but I thought JK was confirmed not to perform + Jikook are not on the performance list, Jimin has been actively filming a MV the past couple of days, apparently some industry people tweeted something big is coming next week…

Seriously, this trip could be any and everything. But it’s also just so surreal to see Jikook going to Tokyo randomly together, especially when there’s not much time left before enlistment. It’s been so long since we’ve seen two members together at the airport that it made me surprisingly emotional… When Jihope both went to fashion week they flew apart, when JM went to Lolla he flew a few days after JH, when JM went to NY he flew a day after JK... There have been all these near misses even when they were going for similar reasons and same places so I’m just glad we got to see them together. And I hope it means they’re doing something as a unit, even if it’s just JM featuring on JKs documentary while working on his own things in Tokyo.

No matter how this plays out, it’s just such a treat to see them together and going to a place that has so much meaning to them right before enlistment, and I hope they get to have fun hanging out in-between whatever else! I would kill for Jikook to have turned their travel show into a series so that’s where all my hopes are going, but there might be more to all of this too (they’ve seriously been working nonstop making the most of every minute they have left to make sure ARMYs are left with plenty of content). I’m just going to watch and enjoy any crumbs tossed our way and eagerly await whatever content they’re working on as individuals or as a duo (the rumors of JMs last MV recording location though 😵‍💫). I realllly hope we get some more duo content on top of their individual stuff though and I’m going to be greedy and beg for a live or a selca or a TikTok if this isn’t going to be a variety show. But honestly just the airport pics will keep me sustained for a long time 😫

[gimmethatagustd]

Ohhhh how I’ve always wanted to participate in one of these, you are one of my favorite writers & ummm I’m ot7, but but but any member of the Hyung line that’s completely up to you 😮‍💨🥵💜💜 also also number 23 🤍🤍🫣 

Can I, tell you what I think my biggest flaw is, baby? / I try to be consistent, but I can't / Can I, have an honest moment with you right now, baby? / Tell me who the fuck you wanna be

» pairing: yoongi x reader

» genre: BTS | 18+ | drabble | exes | angst

» wc/date: 747 | December 2022

» warnings: emotional manipulation/gaslighting | marking | making out~

» notes: stoppp you're so sweet!! thank you for sending in a request 🥺 i realllly tried not to write yoongi for this one cuz i have multiple yoongi requests BUT I COULD NOT STOP MYSELF so i hope you enjoy. sorry it's ~angsty~ this song really puts me in a mood

You never realized how much space Yoongi had taken up in your life until you packed your belongings into a single suitcase. Four years of life condensed into a small rectangle. 

It didn’t even bulge at the seams. Your clothes were neatly folded inside, along with shoes, accessories, and makeup you hadn’t already brought to your mom’s house. Your electronics were already at home, except for your Switch. You left that on the coffee table in Yoongi’s apartment; he’d bought it for you. It didn’t bother you much to return it. You’d used those games to cope with an emptiness you would no longer need to suffer. 

At least not by the hands of Yoongi. 

“Is this permanent?” 

He watched you answer his question by sliding the key to his apartment off your keychain. It clattered onto the kitchen counter where you’d spent hours making kimchi with Yoongi and Hoseok, back when the two friends still spoke to each other and Yoongi had light in his eyes. They’d always twinkled with mischief like he knew something you didn’t. 

Just wait, his eyes once seemed to say, and you always held onto the edge of your seat. 

Now he stared at you with an empty darkness that made your skin prickle. 

“Baby…” 

“Don’t. Yoongi, please. Don’t.” Your protest was weak. You were weak. 

He slipped his finger beneath your chin and lifted your face to look up at his. Leaning down, he placed a chaste kiss on your lips. When was the last time he’d touched you so gently? His lips were warm and soft. They always were. They molded against yours, locking together like the last two pieces of a puzzle. That was the problem with Yoongi: everything fell into place so easily. 

It started with silly things. He hated crunchy french fries, while you hated the mushy ones. He liked putting away clean dishes, and you preferred to be the one to wash them. You were scared of conflict, and he loved taking care of you. Where one of you was lacking, the other filled in the gaps. 

Until Yoongi was the one taking from you. He took and took and took until you had too many empty gaps you scrambled to fill. 

He pulled back slowly to look you in the eyes. A bit of color was brushed across his cheeks, and his lips were parted slightly. He didn’t look as upset as you expected, but Yoongi had never been predictable. The confidence with which he carried himself was part of the reason why you were drawn to him. It was a quiet confidence, a feeling simmering deep in his soul rather than something boisterous and assaulting. It was an inner strength you’d never had until he taught it to you.  

“We always pull through, baby. Me and you against the world, right? It’s always been me and you.” His smooth voice was a familiar lullaby, but your dreams had turned into nightmares long ago. 

“It’s not me and you anymore, though…” You wanted your voice to be strong and sure, but it wavered as Yoongi slipped his hand beneath your sweater. His cool fingers gripped your hip, and you felt your entire body shiver. 

“Yes, it is.” 

“It’s you and your music. You and your friends. You and everyone else but me.” 

He leaned his forehead against yours, face tilted slightly to whisper against your lips. “You know that’s not true.” 

“Yoongi.” Your heart fluttered despite the weight that pressed into your chest. You wanted him to kiss you again so badly you felt tears burn in the corners of your eyes. He made everything so hard. 

“I love you. It’s always gonna be me and you, jagi. Always.” 

It was wrong to melt into the kiss he gifted you. It was wrong to let your mouth fall open, a soft moan escaping your lips when you felt his tongue swirl against yours. It was wrong to let him pull you flush against his chest and walk you backward until your body pressed against the kitchen counter. It was wrong to open your legs and throw your arms around his neck when he lifted you onto the counter and slotted himself between your thighs. It was wrong to rip your sweater over your head and let it fall onto the tiled floor. 

“Be gentle with me, Yoongi,” you whispered into his dark hair as he decorated your neck with marks sucked into your skin.  

all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & ao3

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work

[goferwashere]

FELL FOR THE HYPNOSIS !

omg omg okay first question.. what was it like for Disco Kid being possessed / realizing he's possessed for the first time ? how did he feel, what was his reaction, was he scared ?? how does he come to terms with it and does it affect his day to day life ?

SECOND im soo curious as to how Tiger gets all this dirt on ppl . like is he a realllly good listener or is he just rlly sly ? or is it something more of him playing a clueless role so that the others that are monsters will trust him ? WHATS ALL THAT ABTT HES NOSEYYY

third i have no excuse for this one but im a big fan of Soda and Bull being fond of each other but if i remember correctly, in this AU Soda isn't so tolerant of monsters ... did that muddle their relationship ? does Soda know abt his close friend being a monster ? HOW DOES IT GOOOOO

I COULD COME UP WITH MORE BUT IM LITERALLY GOING CRAZY NOT KNOWING THE ANSWERS TO THESE ONES AND I DONT WANNA TAKE UP ALL YOUR TIME !! thanks 4 seeing this if u do and THANK U FOR GIVING US SUCH A SICK ASS AU !! 🩷

YAYYYYY ILY BUGGY YOU ALWAYS COME IN CLUTCH HELPING ME W MY BRAINROT

Okay I’ll go one at a time & sorry if they’re a bit long lol

1. Disco pulled up to the wrong address when going dancing, and didn’t know it until it was too late. He was going through his run down building expecting to find a race happening in one of the rooms, but this place was actually an abandoned WVBA building. They had a big dip in popularity in between the mid 90’s and the late 2000’s, and they had to get rid of a few of their properties. This place just so happened to be the building that Kid Quick died in. So obviously having his resting place disturbed ‘woke him up’, and he checked out the guy wandering around the building. He looked fit, and kinda reminded him of himself, so he just kinda… walked into his body. Quietly.

Disco felt a weird shiver, and definitely felt off when it happened, but nothing was obviously out of the ordinary so he brushed it off. He eventually found the right address and partied the rest of the night away.

Quick rode shotgun in Disco’s body for at least a few weeks without saying anything. He did feel kinda bad, and was definitely going to say something eventually (he was not.) so when Disco saw a translucent guy sitting on his couch trying to turn on his TV he almost passed out.

Quick freaked out and tried to wake him up, but only ended up possessing his body, which freaked both of them out further. (Okay well maybe Quick was excited to have a body again but Disco was NOT a happy camper.)

It was a miracle that Quick convinced Disco not to call an exorcist. But they sat down and had conversation about their lives, like old friends. When Quick told his story about dying in the ring, Disco offered to help him out. He seemed like a chill guy and as long he didn’t run away with Disco’s body he was okay with sharing.

The rest was history! (Again I am working on that oneshot where they’re the protags so I hope I can finish that soon 😋)

2. OKAYY so Tiger is all about playing dumb. He’ll intentionally act clueless about situations he already knows all about to see if he can get new info, or will see how the person he’s talking to feels about what’s going on.

Example if Aran and Macho Man were beefing, he’d *conveniently* pass by and go to both of them separately later, without telling them that they’d talked to the other person. He can get a read on their vibe yk?

He also uses his magic to hide himself when important conversations are being had, or will send a clone to gather info if he’s busy. He’s running a whole operation. He has to know about everything that’s happening, because how can he tease people with knowledge he shouldn’t know if he doesn’t know anything at all?

I do think some of the other boxers have just kinda accepted that nothing is a secret from him.

But I think the big mystery he’s really after is Sandman’s identity. Like he wants to know if he’s a human or monster SOOO BAD. He knows that would be world ending knowledge so that’s his ultimate goal. No luck so far though.

3. Soda and Bull were both initially on good terms and had a lot of respect for each other until their first fight. Bull saw how hard Soda was pushing to try and beat him, to the point where he thought Soda was going to die from over exerting himself. But in an effort to make a good impression with the other monsters (since he was still relatively new at the time), still beat Soda’s ass.

Soda had received word from Great Tiger beforehand that Bull was actually a monster. He thought that if he could beat him in this fight then somehow it would ‘make up’ for the fact that bull was a monster, and they could carry on with being friends despite their differences.

But Soda lost, and was pretty crushed by the defeat. Their relationship soured after this, though Bull never really knew why. He was upset about it, but some pep talk from the monsters saying that ‘he’s better off hanging out with them’ had bull turn his back on Soda.

ALSO WITH ALL THAT SAID PLEASE TAKE UP MORE MY TIME I LOVE ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS INTERESTED IN MY AU 🧡

[romanken]

Ok here are all my (spoilers!!!!!) tbosas thoughts ... Im seeing it again tomorrow so hopefully we will update

- I think I had the ideal viewing experience which is: read the book beforehand but long enough beforehand that I wasnt worried about any small changes but remembered enough to fill in any broader strokes with more detail 

- coriolanus's dad being named crassus. nut. 

- after snow kills the one tribute and he falls back over the turn gate and the "enjoy the show" automatic message plays... Was it probably too on the nose? Yes. Did it eat? Yes. 

- when burn gormann showed up on his sicko shit I screeched. Every adult in this movie was cast specifically for me 

- rachel zegler is a STARRRRR every tongue that rises against her shall fall

- for the first time in my life I became susceptible to callbacks and franchise references because the snow quote they played over the end had me GAGGEDDDDD 

- tom blyth serving: best teeth acting of 2023. Best shoulder muscles through a wet white tshirt of 2023. Best crazy fucking freak eyes of 2023 you'll know the scene when you see it. Best dick sucking lips of 2023. Best bleach blond buzzcut of 2023. Best screaming crying throwing up of 2023. Best can you get her some contacts please blue eyes of 2023. Best trim little waistline of 2023. Best cheekbones of 2023. best freaky back scars of 2023. Best sweaty anxious face in redblack lighting of 2023. Best "he kisses like he's getting sent off to war in the morning" of 2023. Best microexpressions of 2023. 

- thought it genuinely had some beautiful images/textures/colors! Scenes during the middle third at night utilized darkness and shadow realllly well esp during coriolanus and sejanus's Moment in the arena. the last third in district 12 was quite beautiful as well I thought the scenes in the dancing hall/bar were really lovely and textured and there were a ton of great landscape shots too. Can't tell if it actually utilized close ups well or if I was just mesmerized by tom blyth's bone structure. The general aesthetics and costume design of the capital and districts felt fully realized and interesting in a way the original movies didn't get imo

- music was great! Truly some incredible vibes... rachel got pipes!!!

- whenever peter dinklage showed up he just started chewing the scenery like nobody's business. It was His show. and every jason schwartzman line had my theater on the floor he was great 

- Supreme Twink president snow was truly an inspired choice every time he hit someone with the fluoride stare its like okay calm down troye sivan. Also the toxic teenage boy yaoi was even realer and truer than I thought possible sejanus was in love with him for REAL

- speaking of sejanus... He should've been at the clubbbbb 

- when snow pulled out the "uhhhhh.... My old self" line I was cackling... Lying ass BITCH

[justthornsnorose]

5,7,8,9,10,11,23,27,28,29,30,31,35,36,37,41,45,49,50,52,53,60,62,63,67,73,76,77,79,83,84,96,97,99.

Also RED.

5. What’s the best orgasm you’ve had in the past few months? Hm, one where I was realllly good about not touching myself while I watched some things on tumblr, etc. When I couldn't stand it anymore, I used my favorite toys to fuck myself as hard as I could.

7. What’s the soonest after meeting someone that you’ve slept with them?  Same day--it was a hookup.

8.What position or angle or specific technique never fails to make you cum? I loooooove doggy but basically I'm hard to make cum. No one else has ever been able to reliably do it. :/ Using the rose toy and getting fucked at the same time is what works for me.

9. When was the last time you watched porn? Last night. >///>

10. What is the hottest thing someone has ever done with you in bed?  Hmm, beyond just being sweet? (I'm a sucker for kindness.) Manhandled me and fucked me like the lil bitch that I am. :3 11. Do you prefer tongue or fingers?  Fingers because I can't get out of my head lol.

23. Have you ever watched people having sex? Not like in person, no. (I'm assuming porn does not count here)

27.When was the last time you had sex? Hooked up with someone who was way too proud of being a YT streamer. They wanted to be fwb but once was enough for me lol. A few months ago? It's been a while T_T

28.Have you ever masturbated to any of your friends? Do you think any of your friends have ever masturbated to you? Yes and yes.

29. Describe a typical masturbation session. I scroll on tumblr and keep my hands OFF myself until I'm squirming, and when I need more I switch to porn. I start with a clit toy and move on to a dildo once I'm aching for it, and then I use both until I've cum or can't take any more.

30. How do you feel about threesomes? Have you ever had one, and if not, would you ever have one? They're hot in theory, but I'm not sure I've ever had the confidence. I wouldn't want to lose my person... but I've definitely considered & fantasized about it. So, maybe with the right people. 31. What’s something that turns you on, but you’re a bit embarrassed by? UGH lol ummmmm. Fucking myself while someone watches. 35. Which one of your holes do you most want to be filled right now? Cunt and/or mouth please.

36. Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate? Well, I'm vocal when no one is around, but I'm usually quietly whiny when I have to be. That, or I'm burying my face in the pillow to muffle what I can't hide.

37. Do you own any toys? What’s your favourite? Yes, and my "demon" and "rose" toys.

41. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Only when someone calls me THEIR slut/whore, and I know they don't really mean it as like.. a bad thing? Idk. It can be hot but it can also trigger me if it's said/meant a certain way.

45. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever asked someone to do while sexting? Oh jeez. I don't know, probably cnc stuff.

49. What’s a sex act you think is overrated? What’s a sex act you think is underrated? Overrated-eating me out? I've just never really been able to get past the embarrassment of it. Underrated-doggy and choking and blowjobs all need more credit.

50. When did you last have an orgasm? How did it happen? Last time I was HORNY DUHH. Lol. The other day, and I pleased myself. :*

52. How often do you masturbate? When I lived on my own it was a lotttttt, but sometimes I go through phases where I don't much at all. Depends if I'm taken or not, too. Or if someone's been teasing me.

53. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated? Oh boy. Mmm, in the middle of the woods lol.

60. Have you tasted yourself? If so what did you think?

Only off someone else’s hand. Not really much of a taste.

62. How long do you masturbate before you cum?

Usually about 45 min - an hr.

63. What’s the weirdest category you have ever searched for?

Furry LOL.

67. If you had 5 minutes to get yourself with porn right now, what would you type in the search bar? Throat fucking or overwatch. ;P

73. Would you do a cum walk? Idk what that is tbh.

76.Have you ever worn lingerie? Let's be clear I LOVE that shit. 77. If you could fuck anyone at all right now, who would it be? Do you know them in real life? Do they know you like them? Well.. ANYONE? Lol.. They know I like them, but they have someone :(

79. What’s the last object you put into your own body for sexual reasons? Dildo.

83. What’s your dirtiest secret? Honestly I'm not sure.

83.What’s the most embarrassing porn you like to watch? Probably cnc stuff, or free use.. or idk lol.

86. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever asked someone to do in real life? I asked someone to choke me once and they knocked me out lol... they also used to leave bruises... they did not know their own strength..

97. What was your most shame-filled orgasm? Why? I was on skype masturbating while they watched. And because it's embarassing!! Idk, I was taught to never be online/on film etc so it was really embarassing lol.

99. Admit something sexual that you’ve never told anyone else before. Hm, I've definitely fantasized about being used*/fucking more than one person at a time. *i mean used in like.. a nontriggering way lol

@the-blue-rose-of-the-sea

[inanimatebitches]

what u need to work on, and how to work on it

|pick a pile|

tarot plus intuition

pile 1

hi pile 1 !!! i feel like this pile is way tooo hard on themselves. u guys should work on ur insecurities. right off the bat. insecurity is very prominent in this reading. maybe some of u guys have been isolated for a very long time which made u disconnected from the world or made u realize something about urself which led u to a deep spiral? i see this is affecting ur career life and ur perception of urself and reality. ur maybe a workaholic because u have the need to do everything perfectly n is afraid of failure. have patience. pile 1, be gentle with urself. sometimes failure is necessary. remind urself that u are in fact that bitch !! ( excuse my french)

how to work on it?

i see that u guys need to balance things out and stay grounded. grounding meditation is very beneficial and important for this pile. follow ur passion. ask urself “ what makes me happy inside?” “what gives me joy and comfort?”. also if ur going through something or if u need any advice and clarity I suggest u seek wisdom from older people. maybe ur grandparents or parents or perhaps even a stranger.

pile 2

whewwww my dear pile 2. I feel some heavy energy. u guys are grieving. realllly badly. i feel like u guys also carry alot of burdens and guilt inside u. maybe this is due to a love one passing (my condolences) or u may have been rejected recently and is taking it very hard. u guys need to work on healing. healing and releasing. i also see that some of u guys may have lost faith. maybe in god or spirit or anything u believe in? spirit is saying work on ur faith .

how to work on it?

u guys need to release ur emotions. meditate. do yoga. scream even. turn ur pain into art. CREATE ART FROM UR PAIN. that’s gonna be very beneficial for urself and ur career. and most importantly, be patient with urself. healing isn’t linear alr?

pile 3

u guys need to work on ur growth. u need to stop gossiping and projecting on to others. this pile really needs to love themselves.

how to work on it?

practice self care. take care of urself. spoil urself.

also, review ur actions. check if ur intentions are pure before doing or saying anything. always have pure intentions. learn from ur mistakes. love urself. practice affirmations everyday. spread love and positivity into the world and it’s gonna come back to u tenfold.

thank u for reading !!! and ignore any spelling mistakes please i haven’t slept in days n I feel very disorienteddd

[voxiiferous]

Get to Know the Mun

Tagged by @e-m-p-error

NAME?: Well I’m Bug online and to the vast majority of people in my life, save like… my professors.

PRONOUNS?: she/they

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION?: Discord or Tumblr IMs, I do like that Discord is the more functional messaging service though.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: Vox! I started writing him a year ago and now I don’t think I’m ever getting rid of him (also Hellaina, and currently at least, that will probably change as they always do, Metatron and Astaroth)

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: Ive been roleplaying on Tumblr since a few days after my 13th birthday, and I just turned 21 a few days ago… soooo 8 years pretty much exactly.

BEST EXPERIENCE?: Probably any time I click with muses/nuns who are just willing to toss a ton at the wall and see what sticks. Fun au’s, weird character combinations, the lot.

RP PET PEEVES?: Honestly probably not having enough to work with. I try to aim for at least a line or two of dialogue or action per paragraph. And also when it’s realllly obvious you’ve not read my rules or even a cursory look at my characters bio. 

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT? : I’d probably file it under angst, but I love a good tense scene. Conversations loaded with history, or the moment when a characters gets dangled in front of a much larger fish, the moment after night together where that mayyybe the best idea (or just before).

PLOTS OR MEMES?: Both are fun! I think memes are a great icebreaker and way to toss characters at each other, but I really like building relationships through plotting. So probably those two things working in tandem?

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: it’s those 3-5 paragraph replies that really let me sink in and gnaw on a character that I live for! Vox especially is good for those because the internal dialogue is often so at odds with what he is actually doing.

TIME TO WRITE?: I do a lot of my writing before I have stuff I should do (ie. classwork) but my actual best and best time to write is evening/night. (Like right now I should be doing assignments and am instead filling this out).

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: I would say there’s parts of me in all my muses— like Vox I also have a deep and abiding love for public transit, like Dia’s I’m sort of morbid and a bit gothy. Except Jayden. Jayden is a baffling creature to me. There’s always lots of differences though, “what the fuck Vox?” Is a common enough statement that @novinare can vouch for.

[i-cant-read-the-room]

My step dad always said I would grow up to be a serial killer.

!!!!!!!!!! NSFW warning. Like, every trigger warning that exists applies here. Please read forward with caution and understanding. !!!!!!!!!!!

this is realllly long sorry. If it helps, copy and paste this all into TTSReader's Text to Speech Player and just listen instead. Thats what I do.

TW:

Self h@rm

Child abuse

animal abuse

animal death

knives

thr*w up

domestic violence

f*rce feeding

suffocation

strangulation

racism

drowning

I hope that's everything that could be triggering.

He was right.

Almost.

He abused me in almost every way possible. Starving me, then force-feeding me till I got sick. Then he would hold my arms to my side and carry me like a battering ram to the sink, turn on the sprayer, and hold my face under the faucet while I struggled to breathe without inhaling water. All the while digging my nails into any bit of skin I could grab. This was punishment for getting sick. And sometimes he would just do it because he felt like it. It became his nightly routine.

Once I dragged the dining room table behind me as I fought like my life depended on it. It did, and I could never win. On another occasion, he chased me around the kitchen, and when I had my hand on the door to freedom, he told me to just let him do it and it would be easier. he said if he had to catch me it would be worse. so I thought and weighed my chances of escape, against my chances of survival. I walked over to him and gave up. but the moment the water hit my face I couldn't help but fight it.

My mom heard the screaming every night and all she would do was come downstairs and tell him I needed to sleep because I had school the next day. she never reported him.

I would often cough up greyish-brown phlegm in blobs the size of my palm. they tasted gross. I only realized around 10 years later I had been suffering from chronic pneumonia because of the constant inhalation of water.

Aside from those forms of abuse, he would also suffocate me in three different ways. His favorite was two hands. One pinching my nose and covering my mouth, and the other around my neck. I can still remember the hot dryness of his hands and the burning in my lungs. He would also lay me across his lap face up and hold my neck down with his forearm. He also used bags over my head. I got away in two ways. I would pretend to pass out by going limp and not fighting, and if he didn't let go I would wet myself.

He also beat me, duh. What kind of abuser does all this and doesn't hit you too? Once he punched me sideways. He was in the driver's seat and I was in the passenger seat, and he punched me while both of us were facing forward. I only felt a brief pain and a white flash. I didn't cry, I knew better. Then he did a double take at me and pulled over in a hurry. My heart started racing because I thought he was finally going to kill me. He got out of the car, ran to my side, and whipped open the door. He opened a water bottle and started splashing my face and wiping it with a towel. I noticed dark smears on the towel as he did so, it was night time so it was hard to see more than that. I guess I had been bleeding profusely and he panicked.

Another form of abuse he enjoyed was shaming me. He literally wrote the word shame on a piece of paper once and made me stare at it while he chanted shame. He once had me stand in one of those large plastic bins and had me T-pose for hours. If my arms would begin to drift down, he would dump cold water on me. He even had my little sister help. He sometimes had her position my arms and then water me like a topiary tree. If my arms drifted down too many times, he would change my position to leaning my forehead against the wall, with my feet about 1.5 ft away from said wall. The pain would come on gradually but eventually would become unbearable. I would try to shuffle my feet closer to the wall to ease the pressure, and then he would manually reposition me.

He called me every synonym for wh*re, including that word. So that word strikes a nerve. Because of him, later in life, I stayed in a toxic relationship for years because I had lost my virginity to the guy and didn't want to be a wh*re. Thought I was only supposed to have one guy my whole life.

He also constantly accused me of mast*rbating. I didn't even know what that was, but since he made me call him master sometimes I thought he meant I was doing something to draw his attention to me on purpose. Obviously, I wanted his attention as much as I wanted the attention of mosquitos.

He also had this weird thing about not letting me use the bathroom. I wet myself often because of this and the suffocation. a few times he would lock me in my room put bells on the handle, tacked to the wall so they would fall if I moved them. I had to use my toybox as a toilet.

One of his more creative moments was when he smeared the expired mayo from the fridge into my hair like a hair mask and then mixed in a whole jar of peanut butter for good measure. Then he told me not to dare shower. I was a good kid and didn't want to make a mess so I put a shower cap on before bed so I wouldn't get it on the bed. Then he made fun of me the next morning for not showering.

The collars of almost all my shirts were loose and stretched out because he would sometimes lift me against a wall by my collar. Once he did that and held a knife to my nose, threatening to cut it off. He asked me if I thought I was better than him just because I had a pretty nose. Speaking of that he also liked to flick my nose constantly.

Didn't understand until years later when we learned about the holocaust in history class, and after I had learned he wasn't really my dad, and who my actual dad was.

My dad was almost pure German. My mom was German and Norweigan. He was Jewish through his mom, and Russian through his dad. Who in the h3ll believes a 7-year-old is secretly a n@zi?

We had an ant problem, and I would collect ants and partially smush them, so they would writhe in pain and I would watch. When I had a crush on a boy I would kick, punch, bite, and shame them verbally.

One day, a few months before I finally managed to run away, I woke up before my parents and went to their bedroom to listen and make sure I was safe for the time being. I heard two people snoring. So I went to the kitchen and got a steak knife, the ones that don't have a wooden handle, just all metal. I crept back to their door and creaked it open. I stood over my mom, as she slept on the side next to the door. I watched them sleep for a few minutes and contemplated whether or not I could kill him before he had the chance to overpower me.

I decided against it because my mom would get covered in blood, and it might traumatize her to wake up next to the man she loved dead as a stone. So i quietly left, closed the door and went downstairs. I stabbed an empty soda box a few times to get it out of my system, put the knife away, and went to play quietly in my room.

This all went on until I ran away at 11 years old.

I ran away, and made the news "Pediatritian waterboards 11-year-old stepdaughter." both my parents had mugshots. He only got three years in prison. The final verdict was child endangerment because he claimed he didn't waterboard me out of malice and was simply trying to wash my hair. I told the lawyers most of this stuff, but they only brought up the waterboarding. At the final sentencing, he approached me in front of everyone, and with his best pretend voice, he apologized for "making me feel that way and hoped I had it in my heart to forgive him." I said nothing in return.

He had always told me I'd grow up to be a serial killer one day.

In foster care, my antisocial tendencies got worse. I would lash out at my little sister, throwing things at her if she ticked me off. I would laugh when she begged me not to tell on her for something. Because something in me found her tearful desperate begging humorous. I would self-harm not out of low esteem, but out of anger at others. When I would get too angry, I would rip my ankle to shreds with an exacto I stole from my foster parents. I took a large knife I found in a shed with me to school and carved up the seats in the back of the bus. I cut my nails to sharp points and painted them with that nail strengthener stuff. Just so I could be sure to make people bleed if they dared touch me on purpose.

At home, I would collect toads at night, and keep them in a cabinet in my room. I used my dollhouse furniture to make a nice house for them. But they would never cooperate, being wild animals and all. They would attempt to run away, and pee when they got scared, which would piss me off. I would repeatedly throw them at a wall. One good smack, then trying to see if they behave. If not, another good smack. Obviously, they died.

one day for some reason I made a noose out of friendship bracelet string, and hung one of the toads. Its struggle made it hop and swing around. It was entertaining to me. Eventually, they would die, and I started making multiple nooses and stringing multiple toads up next to each other. Once I got my hands on a bullfrog, it was huge and heavy. And peed a lot. It didn't last long on a noose.

I moved on to harsher (is there such a thing?) methods. I would fold origami cubes, and seal the toad inside with a stone, and toss it into the pond. To make sure they didn't escape I would first impale them on a toothpick.

Sometimes I would plug my bathroom sink and fill it with peroxide and water, then submerge the toad and watch it fizz.

Once I filled the sink with just water and held the toad under until it started to struggle. Sometimes I would save it, dry it off, wrap it up, and be affectionate towards it. other times I would feel like I was locked in place and couldn't stop until it was dead.

I was on the course to becoming a serial killer. He was right after all, and year by year it wasn't looking too bad.

Until two things changed me forever.

One day I was yelling at my sister and went to throw a hanger at her again. She flinched and made a terrified helpless face. She was probably seven at the time. All of a sudden I saw me, helpless, and terrified, on her face. And suddenly I felt guilt. I said I was so sorry, and started thinking back to all the times I scared her like that, and realized she was just a kid like me, and I was her big sister. She looked up to me, adored me, and needed me to protect her, not hurt her. From then on I never raised a hand at her, or my voice. Sure we would argue sometimes, but I could never forgive myself for what I put her through, and never again did I hurt her, or even threaten to.

I'll never be able to take back what I put her through, and I have to live with that expression forever engrained into my memory.

The final event that took me off the path to becoming a serial killer, was a toad with just one eye. I didn't know he only had one eye till I noticed him hopping in circles all the time. He couldn't really escape, so I never got mad at him. I named him Cy. I never named a toad before. I made a terrarium out of a really large peanut butter jar, cleaned it out, removed the label, and put holes in the top. I put gravel, then dirt, then moss in the bottom, with some stones, a large stick, and some plants I uprooted. I filled a bottle cap with water and pushed it flush with the moss. Then every night I would go outside and instead of catching toads, I would catch moths by the porch light and put them in his container. I enjoyed watching him lock on, and catch them. I took care of him the whole summer. I even made a harness out of friendship string, making sure not to tighten it on his neck, and I literally took him for walks outside.

Eventually, fall came and the bugs started to dwindle. I realized soon there would be no bugs over winter, and I knew for him to live I had to let him go so he could hibernate. So I let him go.

After that, I never hurt another animal. And I would fully squish bugs, not just partially and only when they were a nuisance. Sometimes I would find injured butterflies, snakes, lizards, etc and I would bring them water, and do my best to help them live through it.

It took me a few more years to stop hurting boys when I had a crush on them, but finally, I did. And the first guy I didn't hurt, I ended up marrying. It's three years later now and I'm happy, nurturing two children, and I have two cats who are loved and well cared for. I taught my stepdaughter not to be scared of toads and bugs because they are cute babies. She's seven this year. My youngest is 3.

My stepdad was wrong about me. I could never be a serial killer. I was just angry, with nowhere to express it. But now I have music, art, and screaming off my porch if I ever really need to.

Recently I've become a Christian, because my stepdaughter is, and the joy it brings her made me realize you can't judge a religion by the people who claim to be part of it. I started reading the Bible and listening to excerpts on YouTube. I found peace, and love in that book. I found a father who would never hurt me, who will always love me and understand me better than I understand myself. If religion is a scam, then so be it, at least I found a reason to be better. And if it's not, then I will go home when I die. And to go home is something I always longed to do, but I had no place to yearn for because home was a house of horrors.

Have you ever felt homesick with no place to call home?

I wish I could bring back all the toads I killed, and give them freedom, and all the bugs in the world. They could have had a life, but I caught them and killed them. Who knows, they could have lived long happy lives if it weren't for me. Animals are the most innocent creatures on earth. They don't know right or wrong, only survival. They don't have malice, only fear and comfort. They don't commit crimes like humans do. They don't kill for fun.

I wish I could be a kid again just so I could do everything right this time. spare the toads, spare my sister. Look for kids like me and get them out of their situations too. I wish I never went through that gruesome healing process, but like my mom always said, "It has to get worse before it gets better."

Records show troubled past of pediatrician accused of waterboarding stepdaughter - CSMonitor.com

Delaware pediatrician Melvin Morse guilty of waterboarding 11-year-old girl - CBS News

Doctor in waterboarding case faces array of troubles, court records show (nbcnews.com)

The thing that made me the most angry as a kid, is that no one believed me.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, it means a lot to get it off my chest. Hope I formatted it right and censored everything I needed to.

[mayordoi]

PLEASE tell me about your Robin headcanons, I'm so curious now.

oh beans i didn't expect a response to my meme! (i mean, it has happened before but my answer was a bit undercooked) normally i'd say my headcanons are cringe and try not to talk about them but THIS TIME i am excited to indulge, mainly to have them written down on my art page :> this may end up being a long boy answer lol

(as a brief preamble, i've pretty much been building off of these robin headcanons since like, middle school or so (at least 5 years) for my smash fanfiction. while the amount of Stuff i've imagined for them might make them a bit different from their original characters, the context of awakening is what prevents me from turning them into full-on oc's)

anyway. i'm not responsible for any damages this may induce. the actual hcs will be under the cut

Both of them

so to start out, both the female and male variants are separate entities rather than like, alternate dimension counterparts. in fact, they're siblings (reeaally starting a bit out there i know). for reference, the girl (younger of the two) is named reflect (a misreading of the japanese name i grew attached to. it is what it is) while the boy is just robin. this is why i usually try drawing them with different clothes so they don't look like clones of each other lol. i like to think some aspects like the shirt and the black robe and tall brown boots are staples of the "tactician" uniform to explain any similarities.

neither have amnesia (since i just.. don't like the trope that much + i wanted to have them remember and reflect on their upbringing y'know). robin is actually a regular, normal blooded dude (which is why i don't really depict him in an evil grima-possessed form). reflect on the other hand did have grima's blood, which tipped off the grimleal in hopes to resurrect grima. however, much like the original awakening story, reflect's mama took her away out of fear of what the grimleal would do to her in pursuit of their goals. due to circumstances that i haven't fully figured out yet, robin was left behind and was raised by daddy dearest validar. reflect was raised by her mama and unaware of the grimleal or that she even had a brother/father at all.

a fairly old but still good ref of their differences. i definitely took a lot of liberties with reflect obviously (i REALLLLY like robin's original design, main reason why i got so attached to the character, so i kept it pretty true to the original with some details i dont like redrawing sanded off). a lot of design elements developed over the years and came from various sources.

(strap thingies on the side were based on cipher art, stockings are based on heroes art of f!morgan, cloak is partially inspired by the grandmaster design (albeit heavily simplified), shorts... i just thought looked cool, blah blah)

ok enough rambling, time to ramble about them individually

Robin

if it wasn't clear by how i'd often draw robin with a tired/exhausted look on his face, he isn't exactly the most high-energy guy :p he's jaded and sometimes a bit of an asshole to people he doesn't know. pretty unapproachable generally. i hope the fact he was raised by validar would explain why. i imagine validar was particularly bitter about the grima vessel slipping out of his grasp and took some of that out on his remaining child.

his strict upbringing helped him become very proficient in tactics and magic as expected... but also a bit reclusive and not much of a people person. he'd travel around after being sick of validar's shit, which is how he crosses paths with chrom. chrom basically takes him in and lets him work as a tactician for the shepherds, which is an act that causes robin to become very attached and loyal to chrom. i'd say he's an established member for a few years before the events of awakening.

he's kind of unathletic (very skinny bastard) and probably has redditor posture (inspired by how slow of a runner he is in smash bros). magic is much more his "asset" ;) his sword game is mid if he's not wielding the levin sword.

he remains single to the end of awakening's campaign, but historians note he was "really good friends" with chrom (he is attracted to men lol. specifically chrom. but then chrom gets married which complicates things 🥴).

Reflect

in comparison to her male counterpart, she's much more free-spirited and bubbly. she's chill and great at making friends, a bit more accurate to the original. she was also raised to be a tactician, though she is comparatively still a novice. still, she's a quick and enthusiastic learner. i also imagine her to be kind of a risky thrill-seeker.

when she leaves her small community to explore the world, she comes across the burning village in awakening's first chapter, which is how she crosses paths with chrom. she joins his gang to further her learning as a tactician and to make some friends yeeaa!! (i haven't written as much about her as i make mrobin 😛)

she later marries chrom and becomes the mother of lucina.

I sometimes draw her with red hair tied in a black bow-- that's related to some non-fe fanfic stuff that is too convoluted and cringe for this already lengthy and cringe post. but it's an alternate look for her i think is kind of cute 😊

~~~

hopefully that's a sufficient enough answer, my brain always gets really scattered whenever i have to elaborate my robin hcs to someone else. i get a bit self-concious about them because i think i'm so far off-base with their original characters (but can't oc-ify them with some elements being based in the world/story of awakening) that i'll become like. public enemy of the greater robin community. but i know that's a bit ridiculous, so i let loose here as a means to get these many thoughts somewhere on my art page as a reference for when i draw these fellas in the future :)

there's also the separate tangent of their offspring, the morgans (or morgan being the girl, and marc being the boy) but this post is long enough as is so i'll just leave it there :,)

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

4, 9, 13, 23, 29, 34 for the end of year fanfiction writer asks!

What piece of writing are you most proud of?

I’ve already talked about the two fics I’m most proud of, but there’s some honorable mentions :)

Little Songs is a piece that I still enjoy to this day!! That doesn’t… typically happen with stories I write. I usually post stories and then try to pretend they don’t exist XD But this one’s different! I like it :) I like the simplicity and the pure Fluff and Ghostbur’s characterization!!

Pebbles, Wood Lice, and Other Alright Things is a fun one :D I realllly liked coming up with the dialogue and little details!

What's a scene you wrote this year that you're particularly proud of?

I LIKE THIS QUESTION!!!

You’re gonna get a WIP snippet for this >:) It’s a bit long though.

~~~

Wilbur thinks she’s going to say something, but she doesn’t. Instead she pulls out a box of cigarettes from a pocket, and a lighter from another pocket. Wilbur bites on his lip.

“Mum?”

“Hm?”

“Can I push the stroller?”

Mum flicks her eyes to look at him, pushing out smoke from her mouth. “If you want.”

“Okay!” Wilbur hurries to the back of the stroller, stretching his arms up in order to grip the handle. He has to stretch a lot to reach it, but that’s okay. “Tommy, I’m gonna push you in the stroller!”

“Not too fast,” Mum instructs. More smoke falls into the air, and Wilbur turns his face away so he doesn’t have to smell it. He can still smell it, though. 

“I won’t!” Wilbur shouts back, even as he begins to run. “I’ll only go a little fast!” 

If mum says anything else, Wilbur doesn’t hear her. 

The wind blares into Wilbur’s ears, and the wheels of the stroller rumble loudly against the cracked sidewalk. Tommy squeals, and Wilbur knows that it’s an excited-squeal and not an upset-squeal. Wilbur laughs. 

He’s going so fast. Not too fast, of course, because he doesn’t want to scare Tommy. But he is going a little fast. Fast enough to almost feel like he’s flying. 

Wilbur runs until the smell of cigarette smoke goes away and then he keeps running. He runs over the sidewalk and over driveways and over weeds growing in cracks, and he keeps laughing and smiling even though all the running is making it hard to breathe. 

Eventually, though, he has to stop running, because he can see his house and he doesn’t want to go past it. His old brown house, right next to more old houses. Some of them are also brown, but others aren’t. They’re all tall. They all have cracked sidewalks in front of them, with weeds and dandelions growing in the lawns and between the concrete. 

Wilbur slows himself to a stop, feeling his shoes pound against the sidewalk. It hurts a little bit. His feet, he means. When they hit the sidewalk.

Tommy makes a bubbly noise, and Wilbur tilts his head, hands still gripping the handle. “Was that fun, Tommy?”

Tommy doesn’t really answer. Wilbur sighs. “I think it was fun. We went really fast, didn’t we?”

When Tommy still doesn’t answer, Wilbur lets go of the handle and walks around to the front of the stroller, kneeling down so he can look at his brother. Tommy holds his dandelion in one hand, clenched into a tight fist. He waves it a little bit. 

Wilbur just looks at him. “I don’t like cigarette smoke. It smells bad. That’s part of the reason I started running, so that I didn’t have to smell it. I don’t think you like how it smells either.”

Tommy makes another bubbly noise, spit trailing down his chin. Wilbur wipes it away with his sleeve. “But I also started running just for fun. Running is fun, in my opinion. When you get bigger we can do races on the sidewalk, and you won’t need a stroller because you’ll be able to walk. I’ll probably let you win a couple times so you don’t start crying, but I’ll win sometimes, too. And we can race together and it’ll be really cool.”

Wilbur watches his brother wave his dandelion-clenched-hand around, and he finds it very hard to picture him as anything other than small. Anything other than a baby, with red cheeks and loud tears and kicking feet and tiny socks. 

Wilbur really likes Tommy as a baby. He wonders if he’ll like him when he gets bigger. 

That’s silly. Of course I’ll like him when he’s bigger; I’ll like him for always, no matter what, even if he gets really tall and stops liking dandelions. 

I think he’ll always like dandelions, though.

Wilbur takes a peek around the side of the stroller, looking for mum. She’s walking down the sidewalk, and she still has a cigarette in her mouth. She removes it to blow out smoke. Wilbur looks back at Tommy. 

“Hey.”

Tommy makes a thoughtful noise, though that probably has more to do with him shoving his empty hand into his mouth. 

Wilbur watches him evenly. “I just want you to know that I’ll like you forever. Even when you stop being a baby and everything. Even when you get big. I’ll always be bigger than you, so that means… that means my love will get bigger, too!” 

Wilbur brightens, eyes widening. “Yeah! Every time I get bigger, my heart will get bigger, which means that I can fit more love inside it! That means that the bigger I get, and the bigger you get, the more I’ll love you!”

Tommy pauses trying to gnaw on his hand to gaze up at his brother, eyes brilliant and blue. A lot of spit dribbles down his chin, but Wilbur’s going to wait a bit before he wipes it away. 

“Tommy, will your love get bigger too? I hope it does. I hope both of our loves get so big that we don’t know what to do with ourselves, and all that we can do is hug each other and say, ‘I love you soooo much’!” Wilbur smiles, and a breeze strokes his face. The sky is light purple now, and most of the sunlight is fading away. It’s getting cooler. 

Wilbur leans forward and kisses Tommy on the forehead. “I love you so much, Tommy. I love you now and I’ll love you when you’re big. And even though you can’t talk yet, I’m pretty sure you love me, too. Right?”

Tommy pulls his hand out of his mouth, slick and shiny with saliva. Wilbur laughs. 

Then Tommy spreads his mouth into a wide smile, letting out a happy squeal. 

The last of the sun goes away beneath the ground, and Wilbur feels more full of love than he thinks he’s ever felt before. The dandelion in Tommy’s hand is beginning to wilt, but it’s still bright, bright yellow.

~~~

Smol Wilbur my beloved <3 He is simply just so small and so platonically in love with his baby brother. He is simply so small.

What story haunts you when you try to sleep at night?

Oh, easily If You Want Love lol

I KNEW IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO POST AN IN-PROGRESS STORY 😭 IT WAS A BAD IDEA BECAUSE I AM SO INCONSISTENT!!! INSPIRATION FOR THIS FIC HAS EVADED ME EVEN THOUGH I HAVE PLANS FOR IT!!! NOOOOOOO!!!

I actually feel so bad about not updating it aksgajsgajgsiag so I just. try not to think about it much :’)

What fic did you enjoy writing the most?

Better Than a Painting, Because Paintings Aren’t Perfect! I had sooooo much fun with this; the inspiration was there, the words were there, the scenes were crystal clear, I love the setting, I love the plot, I love crimeboys, just… all around a good time :D

What was the funniest comment or piece of feedback that you received?

Toss-up between these two:

The first one is funny in a Cute way, the second one is funny in a Funny way. Seriously when I got that second comment I kept reading it aloud to my sister and cackling aksgajsgakgssjf

What's the weirdest thing you researched for a fic?

This is all for one fic.

[the1975attheirverybest]

I’ve been a huge Taylor fan since 2009 and I 100% feel you. I’m sick of her right now. So so tired from May and all the shit that came from (most) swifties. I’m not even joking when I say all of my swiftie friends turned on me and participated in the backlash, even a few that were 75 fans?? It was truly all so performative, because why didn’t you give a fuck before this? 

I’m beyond sick of Maylors too. I liked the idea of them but it’s over, give it a rest. I saw a thread a few days ago that said IILWY is about Taylor, completely disregarding that lyric about a black girl. Realllly side-eyeing the fans that just pretend like he wasn’t with Twigs for 3 years, especially when they might’ve been engaged. That breakup really seemed hard on him. Also people saying It’s Not Living is about her?? It literally has a line about shooting up heroin in it but okay. 

It also upsets me that she didn’t shut any of that shit down. In a way I’ve lost some respect for her. She didn’t have to say anything specifically about Matty but god tell some fans to fuck off for once. 

Sorry for the long message, it just seems like you share some of my frustrations, and I know a lot of others do. 

No, no, I totally understand and 10000% agree with you. This is a safe space for venting frustrations lol.

And, yeah, I was (and still am) sickened by all that shit. ESPECIALLY the twigs stuff. I had half a mind to rant about it on here the other day but I felt like it would fall on deaf ears. I’ve even had conversations with some Maylors, tried to hear them out and see their logic. See if I can offer them mine. It’s like they’re incapable of understanding that matty would sing about anything but love or anything BUT TAYLOR. I’d be like “yeah sure it SOUNDS like a love song but it’s about drugs” they’d conveniently gloss over the line or say “beautiful shoes Taylor is known for her shoes.” IS SHE???!! I’ve never heard that before ever.

I’m so sorry about your swiftie friends. I’ve had the same experience. Though they weren’t 75 fans they just supported my obsession with the band lol. But yeah. Personally, I think Taylor is a great artist and has earned her place in pop history. But other than that…..idk. Especially when it comes to speaking out about stuff. She either won’t, or will do it in a way that comes off as paying lip service. Which is fine. I’m not saying every artist should be an activist. Actually it’d be great if uninformed people stopped performing wokeness and stfu and left it to experts. But she holds away with swifties she could’ve said some passive aggressive shit about being kind or whatever. Idkkk man.

It’s just a lot right now and it’s everywhere even when I don’t go looking for it, it seems to find me lmao. It’s okay though. Things will calm down eventually. I’m sure it also has to do with the fact that they’re both touring right now and in the public eye. Hopefully the weird maylor shit will calm down with time. But yeah I’m so done with trying to respect their pov or whatever. They’ve gone wayyyyy over the line.

[adirtnap]

game tier list twenty twenty two

2022 was the year of every video game being five or more video games at the same time. games were deckbuilding AND basebuilding AND roguelite AND fishing AND farmingsims. i don't think this worked out TOO well but i can see the appeal and i hope we can make a good one sometime!

game of the year 2022:

celeste!! the best and only video game. video, space, game. this is the peak of the genre, which is understandable because it is also the only game that exists.

it's just so FUN. like, first i play celeste as a vocation AND THEN when i'm exhausted i turn off celeste, sit for a sec, and think, "ah, time for some light fun. let's play a bit of celeste."

S tier (video games of all time)

mm rando ("Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask Randomizer, allsanity settings") this shit is so fun?? it's so fun. i will play this every year

inscryption ohhhhh man did someone have fun making this game and it SHOWS. some guy that i bet really likes and appreciates magic the gathering made a video game about: what if you played magic the gathering and it mattered SO MUCH. what if everything in your world was to enable you having a good and terrible time playing (original and realllly well-designed?) trading card games. and he was RIGHT and i had a good and terrible time

dwarf fortress!!! i first played dorf fort in 2012. i learned to play it alongside a guy i'd just met on study abroad because we were bored nerds. he is now my best friend. i have loved this game for TEN YEARS!! i once met derek yu (spelunky etcetera) at a very nice party and extremely embarrassingly trapped him in a conversation so i could talk about how good dwarf fortress is. he was very gracious and understandably uncomfortable. i like this game a LOT a lot. but, for every year i've loved dorf fort, i haven't really been able to recommend it to anyone. "hey, do you want to play a game that is so fucking hard and annoying to learn?" the answer is not usually "oh yeah for sure"

everything about the new UI-remake is good. they took the "impossible to learn" out of the sentence that i have so many times said, "this game is brilliant and enchanting and also impossible to learn." (the game is now fully "and also.") they did a good one.

A tier (delightful games)

elden ring my computer was too sad to keep playing this, and i am sad about that. it was GREAT, everything about it was as delightful as the darksoul and more. i can't wait to finish it (and probably give it s-tier) when computer good

fortnite they finally made a good battle royale and it is fortnite. good job i like my friends and this game is what i did with them a lot.

super mario sunshine perfect nintendo-y game. filled with little guys of all kinds. i will play this every year

the barnacle goose experiment horror abiogenesis autoclicker!!

sayonara wild hearts GOOOOD soundtrack good game

B tier (really fun games)

vampire survivors this is the most video game ever. i've heard it described as "the best video game of 2003." i've also heard the developer used to program gambling-machine animations. i would have played this on the school bus on the way to highschool. it rules

neon white really fun, zøooomy. i don't have the patience to find microoptimizations in levels to beat my friends, but DANG is playing each level for the first time fun. the writing was cringe AND free, it made me smile

C tier (games i liked)

citizen sleeper to paraphrase shannon: a dnd-videogame except for friends at the table enjoyers. i really liked that every choice felt limited but intentional, rather than disco's fuck-you kinda dice rolls. but, the sell was: "things… are happening. hmmmm what could they be?" which was not strong enough to keep me deeply invested. i'll keep going back and playing little by little

helltaker it's like eight minutes long and it's full of newgrounds drawings of demongirls. it's not a good game. i liked it a lot

D tier (games i did not like)

loop hero. backpack hero. slice and dice. dicey dungeons these are all the same game and they are all different variations of boring

cult of the lamb ANOTHER five-games-in-one that added up to… one-half of a good game? the fighting is like worse hades, the farming sim is like worse dontstarve. the minigames are ok. it was fine

subnautica LOVE a shark! but the game was brought down by the "you have to find a tiny item in a huge ocean and if you do not you cannot progress or you will miss major parts of the story" and also "find that tiny item on a short clock with constant danger." i ended up using the wiki, and shortly after ended up reading the plot because that was more fun than playing the lategame

however, many good moments of "oh wow yikes that's a fuckoff big shark huh" which i DID enjoy

death's door not a bad time but not for me. i think i'd rather play tunic (i haven't played tunic)

F tier (i hate it)

deathloop THEY BIOSHOCK-POISONED THIS GAME SO BAD

the concept of a majora's-mask-plus-dishonored-problem-solving-shooter? quite good. this game? really sucks. this game is the sum of every boring-but-sells lesson internalized by marketing departments on the success of "the genius of environmental storytelling," but instead of genuinely funny bits (like left4dead2's graffiti!), they went for an utterly bland "THIS UTOPIA? DIDN'T WORK OUT HUH"

also the core mechanic just wasn't very fun, was it, it just didn't work. they made it a pretty good fps and also a ~nothing else~

the upside was the art direction which: was good enough to do environmental storytelling with! it makes me mad that some goooood art got wasted on this game

hon. mentions

madness in square garden, for having a good name watching someone else play outer wilds

[aqricus]

Hi hi ^^ I just stumbled upon your tighnari during his rut thirst post and alsidjshskakskswj like I would ABSOLUTELY HANDS DOWN let him ruin me and breed me thoroughly during his rut 💕 I'm so down bad for him no lie, but can you imagine how whiney(?) him or possibly Gorou would be during it, I would want to help them both out

I have a feeling that Gorou would absolutely be more suby(?) and begging during this time if you're with him like 😩 I also realllly like Gorou too ^^"

I hope your having a wonderful day and don't forget to eat something and to drink some water if you haven't yet ^-^

HI OMG !! i'm so sorry i'm getting to this so late, i've been rly busy with work and i’ve also been spending so much time thinking about this bc the idea of gorou specifically going through a rut sent me into the fucking stratosphere he's so LFNDKSLFNDSL and thank you for looking out for me!! i hope you're taking care of yourself as well :)

gorou is a war general. disciplined yet empathetic. well-versed in battle and capable of great violence, yet turns to putty in your hands whenever the time of his rut rolls around. he's the perfect balance of pliant and desperate, worried about accidentally hurting you amid all the excitement and usually wanting you to take the reigns, but not above gripping and pulling you onto his cock if you tease him too much. he'll hold out for as long as possible with your pace, offering up quiet, choked pleas for you to make him cum or fuck yourself on him harder, faster. letting you pin him down flat on the bed as long as he gets to hold you close and be swallowed up by your presence and scent until he's that much closer to his third orgasm.

but, he'll also take matters into his own hands if he finds it difficult to keep himself in check and you allow it, pushing his way between your legs that you teasingly shut to mess with him and pressing his chest against yours and smothering your face and neck with sloppy kisses. his thrusts have little rhythm and range from shallow and quick to hard and deep. this is the one time where he allows himself to be particularly greedy, ripping orgasm after orgasm from you with little regard to your sensitivity, but only as a consequence of his tip nailing your sweet spot over and over in his desperation to feel more of your walls clenching around him and have all his cum milked straight into your cunt. even during these times, he relies on you. needs your permission to cum inside you, even it’s nothing new to your relationship, wanting you to tell him it's okay and that he can. needs to hear all of your moans and whimpers, even the smallest sounds, to make sure he isn't being too rough and he's still making you feel good. needs to feel you beyond just the staccato collision of his pelvis with yours, whether it's just his hands sinking into your flesh to grip you tight or his face pressed against your neck. he's just so fldnfklskdls

[mylittlesyn]

Woah, congratulations on 1000 followers! 🤩 Very well deserved! I’m submitting on anon because I’m shy, lol, but I’ve been a follower for a long time and I’m really happy to see you having such success! 🥰

May I have a matchup from Naruto or FMAB? I use she/her pronouns, and I’m okay with any gender of match.

My big 3 signs are Aries sun, Sagittarius moon, and Libra rising, and I think that combination actually fits my general personality pretty well. A few words that describe me are optimistic, adventurous, assertive, and witty. My biggest flaw is probably bossiness/control issues. It’s mostly from a place of wanting to know the people around me are comfortable and enjoying themselves, and that I’m useful/helpful to them. But sometimes I do just get really caught up in my own ideas and thinking that the way I would do things is automatically the best. My ideal partner would be strong-willed enough to push back when I overstep, but even-tempered enough not to be hurt or offended. I work in a job where I’m usually “in charge,” which I do enjoy, but in my downtime I really want someone who will be an equal partner with me - and even convince me to give them the reins sometimes.

As for hobbies, I like baking and making drinks (both coffee and cocktails). It’s fun to experiment with ingredients and ratios. I also like camping, traveling, gardening, and all things creepy - books, movies, games, and I tell a mean ghost story too. 😉 My dream is to learn and experience as much about the world as I can, ideally alongside a special person, but alone is fine too.

I like dates that are active and seasonal - ice skating in the winter, leaf watching in the fall, beach dates in the summer, etc. My favorite relationship trope is fwb to lovers. Something about going into a situation like “just bros being hoes, no boring relationship stuff here,” and then getting swept up in genuine feelings for the other person is just 👌 Sexually, I’m for sure a switch and I guess dom-leaning. Even if I’m the “sub,” I’m going to be very bratty and stubborn about it, lol. Top kinks are lingerie (on both/either of us, but it’s especially hot when a man is willing to dress up for me ngl), rope play, orgasm denial, and hair pulling (on me). I’m realllly not into anything daddy/mommy related or any pregnancy/breeding talk.

Congratulations again, and thanks for this event!

Your match for the event is:

Tenzo/Yamato from Naruto!

Although he's rather passive, I do believe he's the type to stand up for things he considers important.

He'd probably find your 'bossiness' attractive, in a take charge sort of way.

I honestly can't see Tenzo knowing how to cook, but for the most part he's decent with up keep around the house.

That being said he will maintain a wonderful veggie garden for all cooking endeavors. (with some fresh fruits and herbs for your cocktails)

He would be extremely happy doing all things outdoors with you. Camping, gardening, swimming, travelling

He'd love to travel with you, but make sure you let him nerd out about all the historical architecture he's seeing along the way

Very happy to go camping with you, keep you warm at night by the fireplace as you take turns telling each other ghost stories while looking up at the stars.

Now for the spice!

I do firmly believe he's a switch that leans toward submissive.

He's not super kinky, but he does enjoy playing with toys. (has many and knows exactly how to use them)

When he's dominating I can see him being a little more soft, and more about service.

He would very much be willing to dress up for you, even if he's blushing the entire time about it.

I HC he's a grower, but it's a decent size while flaccid.

I can see him pulling hair in the heat of the moment kind of thing, and I believe he's hand with rope. He's just not super into things like mommy, daddy, degredation, kind of the like mind sets that can go along with kink... I think he keeps it pretty simple when it comes to mind set stuff.