#this and you got us another marvel/dc like bullshit there's no real feelings in this movie it's all so fake and try hard

[caramelcoconutswirl]

Okay, so the new hunger games is so bad actually i mean i knew it would be trash but this is just sad

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I saw your ATSV reaction post and wanted to chime in a little about Miguel and Spiderman 2099. Because I love him but also your reaction to him is 100% correct, and I am also lowkey mad about people jumping straight to 'he did nothing wrong'-ing/fetishizing him.

Like, Miguel is trying his best (as Spiderman) but he's not a nice person! His arrogance and hot temper are major tenets of his character. His comics run is Mostly him fucking up his interpersonal relationships, finding out new horrible layers to the bad things that happen/ed to him, and then reacting poorly to those things (then dying) (he got better). I thought it was actually very fun of Sony to make him the Spider Society guy because he's the last person I would put in charge of anything. Like there's some fun commentary to be made on the fact that Miguel's canon lore also very much does not line up with the average Spiderman's backstory, while he's being written as placing himself in a position to act as arbiter-of-Spider-People, when he only Became a Spiderperson himself as part of a cascade of Reacting Poorly To Things.

(Be a corporate genetic engineer in the Horrid Capitalist Future -> trying to make A Spider-Man -> first human test goes horribly because your evil boss won't listen to you about the feasibility of your work -> try and quit via emotional outburst -> your boss gets you secretly addicted to illegal future drugs that are 100% addictive because they bond to your DNA or some nonsense -> your boss blackmails you into continuing to work on the person-melting Build-A-Spiderman genetics machine -> you decide to use the genetics machine to reset your DNA to before you were addicted to genetics-altering drugs -> your jealous co-worker sets the machine to give you 50% spider DNA instead -> you are mutated into a Horrid Spider Man -> you react to his by trying to kill yourself -> you live because your bullshit spider mutations save you -> all this and your drug addiction isn't even cured -> have the revelation that Capitalism Is Bad -> later find out your evil boss is also your dad)

It's unfortunately 100% in character for him to react to being happy and then incidentally destroying his own happiness (which, I have seen some wild takes about the whole 'replaced himself in another dimension' thing, but let's be real Miguel doesn't think he Deserves to be happy, so it was probably a BIT more complicated than him just being like 'hey free AU') by aggressively trying to police the multiverse because he's unfortunately a genius and also unfortunately just incredibly angry and aggressive and fueled by his own deep self-loathing and guilt.

Which is a long-winded way of getting around to the fact that Miguel using cult tactics on the Spiderpeople is because Miguel is using cult tactics on Himself to justify his actions (to himself) as part of (get this) a further cascade of Reacting Poorly To Things.

I'm personally still staggered by the fact that they made Miguel the Spider Society guy, like, I am really hoping this pans out in BTSV because, yes, Miguel has a storyline about messing around with the timeline, but that was Time not Dimensions, so I do want there to be a reason beyond 'who is the most maladjusted and traumatized and ill-tempered Spiderperson to be our antagonistic authority figure?'

Sorry this got long but ATSV has really unlocked new depths of hell for me in terms of 'niche comics character that doesn't get much attention now suddenly getting lots of attention'. I want to talk about my little guy but also my little guy needs to be appropriately contextualized and not belt-sanded into a dreaded fandom archetype.

god there's nothing I love more than a rant off a comic book fan whose little guy is being interpreted wrong. I spend most of my time in DC spaces so getting to reach across the aisle with empathy to a Marvel dude feels great, really bringing people together.

[plutonicmirror]

Zero Hour (1994) #0 [and Zero Hour in general]

Let’s continue my Zero Hour first reading. After skipping some filler tie-in issues, I reached the finale. Again, funny numbering gimmick with a 0 issue. I think Marvel also had something similar with their -1 issues back then. Oh, the 90s!

Hal Jordan Parallax reveals his master plan: “I’m gonna erase the universe so hard, I’m gonna create a new one where everything is right and everyone is happy™”. Classic case of a hero reacting to tragedy the readers are supposed to know about the Emerald Twilight story arc, but I’m LARPing as a snot-eating 10yo in 1994 who just started reading comics and doesn’t have enough attention span to know the lore with absurd amounts of cope and a plan that sounds extremely good on paper, but that other heroes must oppose because morality yadda yadda yadda. Looking at you, Injusticeverse.

Shout-out to my man Danger, a D-lister that was brought to the final fight fOr a ReAsOn. I’m gonna be honest, I skipped his tie-in because I couldn’t give a fuck about who he was. I usually like me some B/C/D/Z listers, but I also don’t give a fuck about DC’s Titans and his book was apparently tied to that whole mess so I was like “meh, next”. I mean, this young dude is a nobody right....?

*one trip to a comics wiki later*

Oh...

Ahem, moving on. The Spectre shows up looking for REVENGE after all of the JSA folks get ultra aged up or straight up deleted from existence, even though they had previously asked him for help and he was like “nah that’s human bullshit, I ain’t movin’ any finger”. Good job, asshole.

So yeah, remember our D-lister? Turns out his power (which is absorbing energy and making explosions) is specifically needed to counter Parallax’s new Big Bang. So our heroes’ plan is...to recreate the universe exactly as it was. So basically Parallax’s plan but done by them because fuck you Parallax, you don’t get to play God. Except...it doesn’t come out exactly as it was, because there’s “““subtle changes”““. In a meta way, this event was supposed to be a soft reboot to fix some of the fuckery that Crisis on Infinite Earths (a big event I haven’t read yet out of fear) caused. Was it accomplished? According to Comic Pop’s Back Issues video on this event... it kind of wasn’t. Sidenote, I highly recommend that channel’s Back Issues series, after reading an event it’s fun to watch a recap that adds background bits for the uncultured (like me) even if I sometimes feel the critique of the host is too harsh.

A not-Killing-Joke’d Batgirl from another timeline who temporarily sided with Parallax because she was doing her best “I want to be a real boy” Pinocchio impersonation got killed in the heat of the moment, so the other normal-powered hero in the room (Green Arrow) gets pissed at his former bestie. After this whole event he ragequits btw and apparently a common joke is that many readers think that should be the standard reaction to the whole thing.

Parallax is seemingly killed but it’s comics so he’ll be fine, trust the process. If I recall correctly, Hal gets to be the new Spectre for a while [*Vietnam flashbacks of Identity Crisis*]. I forgot to mention that the current Green Lantern of the time Kyle Rayner and Wally West were also “killed off”. Again, they’ll be fine. I just didn’t care enough to read a wiki and find out how they come back. But that bit brings us to this “oh yeah, that happened” moment:

Power Girl was pregnant and gave birth to a baby with the help of Wonder Woman who conveniently decided to play midwife instead of stepping up to the threath. Bue hey, guess who also was sort of born in the aftermath of this event? That’s right, I was! So surely that means that baby is a very important char-

Whoops, nevermind.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE WHOLE EVENT:

“7/10 it was alright” - IGN.

The contrarian in me doesn’t hate it like most nerds out there do, but it’s certainly not the greatest event ever written. Granted I went in without knowledge of a lot of stuff, like how was I supposed to make sense of what was happening in the Hawkman tie-in issue aka the whole “let’s try to solve the problem of having multiple origins for this character by literally merging them all into one” thing? How could I know what CoIE fuckery needed to be fixed if I don’t know the big impact of CoIE besides Supergirl being killed off (this fact is cultural osmosis at this point)? Did it matter to me in the long run? Not really, because it’s not like I feel compelled to keep reading DC continuity and make sense of it for the time being. The art was good, the colors were pretty, the Parallax suit was rad, the pose Ollie made at the end was Jojo-esque and dramatic, Batman fucking off from the final fight via being killed was good.

Now, the tie-ins. Some of them were fun, some of them were a drag to read because I had no idea of background info for most of them. Almost all of the Superman tie-ins were fun to read with the exception of Steel because I was tired of wiki-hunting when I reached his issue, shout out to the alternate Jor-El and Lara, the Alpha Centurion and the “Superman tries to save the Kents during the chronal rift” stories (Superman vol. 2 #93, Adventures of Superman #516, Action Comics #703 respectively). The Legion of Superheroes and adjacent issues were extremely confusing to me as a casual but oddly engaging. I had no idea what was happening but it was sort of fun. It revived my itch to read LoSH comics even if I’m still feeling overwhelmed at the mere thought of going further with that task. Oh yeah, the silent Green Arrow issue was a lot of fun! (Green Arrow vol. 2 #90).

The characters introduced were a mixed bag. On one hand we have Bart Allen aka Impulse, who was created in the prequel to this event and was sort of interesting. But then the chronal rift time erasure bullshit happens and since he’s from the 30th century he basically does nothing of importance... Alpha Centurion, as I mentioned, was a fun read in his Adventures issue but in the core event he was... a convenient minion. Thriumph? Thriump was an annoying character, one of those “oh yeah he was totally there in the beggining of the big team but the big name characters just don’t remember tee hee!”. Don’t worry though, he would later die of a cold. Or something like that. Extant felt edgy throughout most of the core issues and the tie-ins, he really had that Madara Uchiha endgame villain energy...until he was revealed to be just a pawn that was just rebelling. And then he fucks off. Shout-out to this specific goofy panel:

Tie-in issues skipped: Anima #7, Batman: Shadow of the Bat #31, Damage #6, Robin vol. 2 #10, Showcase ‘94 #10, Steel #8, Team Titans #24 (yeah, this team got erased from existence and I just couldn’t care), The Darkstars #24. Also skipped: all of the Zero Month aftermath gimmick #0/soft reboot issues.

New Year’s resolution when it comes to DC? I’ll get around reading the 70s Green Arrow and Green Lantern book. Ever since I found some academic paper on it that mentioned the words environmentalism and malthusian I was like “ok wtf I have to read this”.

Tytyty for reading my blog.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess

One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.

Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.

The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.

The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.

No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.

Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind  switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.

You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.

We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.

Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.

See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.

So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!

Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.

Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.

I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.

Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.

Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.

Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around. Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.

You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.

Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.

These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.

And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.

You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.

We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.

Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!

Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.

And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.

Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.

He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!

This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.

No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.

In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.

Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.

We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.

Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:

A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.

He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.

Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.

Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.

Where he was an ex-Decepticon.

And kind of an abrasive asshole.

And then he died.

Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.

Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.

Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.

Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?

How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?

Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.

The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.

At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.

Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?

It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.

Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.

As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.

You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.

Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.

And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!

While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.

Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.

Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.

Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.

Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.

This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.

Clearly, these two belong together.

This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:

https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its

[davidmann95]

How'd you like the new Death Metal special (and, more broadly, this week's comics)?

pretenderoftheeast said: Comics this week (12/9/2020)?

Batman: Black and White #1: The first of a platter of anthologies today:

* The Tynion/Moore story is predictably fire.

* JHIII is JHIII. Also he does a really nice surprising story about how Batman’s relating to this moment of the time, but let’s be real, you’re here because JHIII, and be assured he is JHIII as helllll here and it’s great.

* Dini/Kubert plays as the former building a story around accommodating requests by the latter, but that’s not a bad thing, and glad to see Kubert’s kept up the pace since his DK3/Up In The Sky creative rejuvenation.

* Ok I’m a philistine who has no idea what that Emma Rios thing was about but it was certainly pretty.

* Wilson doing Batman is surprisingly disappointing, but Smallwood doing Batman definitely isn’t.

DC’s Very Merry Multiverse: Not a very merry time! I hate to say it given this should be so geared to my interests, but this is the weakest overall effort we’ve gotten from one of DC’s quarterly anthologies in a good long while, at least among those I’ve picked up. Not to say it’s a dud, there are several nifty little stories in here including the much-hyped first appearance of Kid Quick (destined to become the Flash of Future State) and really almost everything here reaches ‘pretty okay’. But for $10, and a creative space that should reach so much more than ‘pretty okay’, I don’t know that this is a justifiable recommendation unless you’re understandably desperate for all the President Superman content you can get your hands on.

Tales of the Dark Multiverse: Flashpoint: I’m surprised I got it too, but the preview grabbed me and in practice it was a fun, mean little high-concept adventure of Reverse Flash being a total cock.

Wonder Woman #768: Credit where it is due, this has been getting a bit better in its closing stretch.

Dark Nights: Death Metal: The Last Stories of the DC Universe: This ruled. Obviously there was the one story folks are most interested in, but almost all of the tales in here lived up to being a ‘final’ story of sorts for their leads.

* The Titans bookenders were pretty nice even if it’s hilarious that their big rallying cry basically amounts to “by god, our book may be shit, but we’re valuable IP so we’ll never be cancelled!”

* Green Lantern is basically an epilogue to Johns’ run sans the baggage of bringing back Johns (that we get in two weeks with Secret Origin and god forgive me I’m so looking forward to that), and definitely one of my favorite efforts from Lemire.

* Wonder Woman’s the stinker in what’s nominally her own event. I can parse the roots of most bad Superman stories one way or another, but I just can’t understand what’s behind most bad Wonder Woman stories beyond that the people handling it simply don’t give a shit.

* Astonishingly, the Green Arrow and Black Canary chapter in here might be my favorite of the bunch? Simone at her best, a really sweet slice of playful, sincere romance about two characters I’m not by default invested in but ended up quite caring for here.

* This Aquaman story is everything I generally hate in Aquaman stuff, a big long maudlin speech about the weight of the world as he swims through a black featureless ocean, except here between the real heart Sebela brings to the script and the mood artist Christopher Mooneyham manages to evoke, it all clicks together.

* The Batman Family story feels like it can’t quite make its pacing work, but it’s still a heartfelt little ode to the theoretical power of the concept.

* Hey, that Mark Waid guy? Turns out he can write him some Superman. It’s not perhaps the total barnburner you might have expected - I imagine he’s saving his biggest hits for later - but it’s a very solid execution of a gangbusters concept, and Manapul steals the show with absolutely sensational, gorgeous scenic Superman imagery. I’mma say 60/40 in favor of them doing a Superman project together on either a main book or Black Label (I know Manapul was supposed to be locked into a creator-owned thing with Scott Snyder but that was ages ago), because this is a paring that’s yielded some immediate results and I imagine everyone knows it. And given my upbringing, nice to see a big, iconic, beautiful Superman story with him rocking the mullet.

Anonymous said: Haha holy shit Crossover is literally Cates taking that page where Spawn meets all the corporate heroes locked up and spinning it out into a series

Anonymous said: Does Crossover #2 hold the crown for the funniest, dumbest, most baffling opening page ever?

Crossover #2: Readers I’m not too big to admit I laughed my ass off at the first page, and at least a little bit for the actual reasons intended. The sense of homaging that Spawn scene in the context of a book about “Gosh, isn’t IP the best folks?”, or Cates’ dialogue...(shall we say) proving why he likes the concept of ellipses enough to name a character after them aside though? That it’s already crossed the line with its central metaphor from “indefensibly insensitive in its ridiculous self-centeredness” to “out-and-out cartoonishly offensive” somehow actually makes it more rather than less palatable; there’s no longer the secondhand embarrassment of waiting to see how bad Cates is going to handle this, it simply is the worst it could possibly be and readers have to accept and perhaps revel in the sight of him stepping on rake after rake. I cannot wait for him to finally give an interview on this book where he explains what the hell he thinks this looks like, and I hope my dad keeps somehow enjoying it forever because I totally wanna see what pit this descends to next.

Penultiman #3: This is absolutely agonizing and probably the most relatable take on a ‘superman’ ever.

Home Sick Pilots #1: A new creator-owned book from Dan Watters (whose big two credits include the stupendous “Afraid of America” with John Paul Leon in the last Batman Secret Files, and the upcoming Future State: Superman/Wonder Woman) and Peter Cannon’s Caspar Wijngaard, this new book set against the backdrop of a Californian high school’s punk scene in 1994 describes itself as “Power Rangers meets The Shining (yes, really)”. The former influence isn’t much in play yet, but thus far this is a book that merges building tension and freewheeling dopey teen bullshit to an extent that’s subtly impressive as hell, and seems likely to proudly take a place among the current horror comic renaissance.

Warhammer 40,000: Marneus Calgar #3: Ok again I don’t have any experience with this franchise but you’d better believe that cultural osmosis was enough that I popped for BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

King in Black: Namor #1: Kurt Busiek’s return to Marvel...sucks? Such is the power of Knull I guess even if he doesn’t manifest within the actual story here, this is a complete nothing of a comic and I’m not tuning in for issue #2.

Avengers #39: Eh, I’m not liking Aaron Avengers when it gets remotely serious nearly as much as when he’s doing stuff like having them finally help Blade with all those vampires or Captain America assisting with the delivery of an exploding space-baby in the back of a muscle car.

Anonymous said: That new Guardians of the Galaxy was something else. What do you think the odds are that Comic Books, with a decade or two of hindsight, recognizes Ewing as one of the best to ever do it?

Guardians of the Galaxy #9: I lack much context here beyond recalling from an interview that this is Ewing’s way of grappling with the ideas from Steve Englehart’s original unrealized vision of Star-Lord’s character arc, but wherever it stems from this is a hell of a comic.

S.W.O.R.D. #1: This is everything I’ve wanted from the non-Hickman X-books since the moment HoXPoX ended, and so much more, and also it is basically hilarious that Ewing is all but explicitly using his clout to force Marvel to let him to Ultimates3 under a currently cancellation-proof banner. Most importantly of all, Ewing has already mastered the subtle art of writing not merely Magneto, but the infinitely superior Jonathan Hickman Magneto. And good lord Schiti and Gracia, I already knew they were top-tier but these pages’d make a grown man cry.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Predictions. Most of these ‘problems’ are either not going to be problems or are things fans absolute do admit.

 The video starts off shooting itself in the foot by acknowledging some fans will admit there are problems but that there are those who won’t admit this.

First of all, that’s pretty redundant because...no shit of course there are. There are people who will still defend Game of Thrones as the best TV show ever and there are those who acknowledge the Sopranos (which is the ACTUAL best TV show ever) wasn’t flawless.

Second of all if the author acknowledges this fact then why bother labelling the video ‘fans’ without a qualifier? Just saying ‘fans’ means they are referring to ALL or at least MOST fans. Let’s see how much that holds up in the video.

 10: Constant Major events

Okay so right off the top I’m calling bullshit.

It’s not just that MOST fans absolutely call out the insufferable number of events Spider-Man characters get involved with (even if you exclude line-wide Marvel events like War of the Realms) it’s that if there exists a fan who will honestly defend this as NOT a problem I’ve never seen a hint of them and neither has anyone else I know.

More noticeably though...this isn’t a problem exclusive to Spider-Man, not even a little bit.

EVERY Marvel and DC franchise popular enough have overstuffed annual events. In the X-Men they are literally called X-overs. Avengers No Surrender. This has been happening since the 1990s and REALLY been happening since the late 2000s/early 2010s.

This isn’t a Spider-Man problem its a Marvel/DC problem.

“There is a concern that smaller scale stories don’t sell”

It’s not that smaller scale stories don’t sell it’s that bigger scale stories are more easily marketable in solicits and present ‘sexier’ ideas to the average reader and thus sell MORE!

Also Whilst Spider-Geddon was a huge sprawling plot that’s at odds with Spider-Man’s down to Earth nature, Peter Parker himself was barely involved in it. He battled Morlun in a zoo and that was basically it.

9: Silly villains

...oh dear...

Yes. It sure is a problem that across 55+ years there have been a lot of silly/bad villains like Clock King, Kiteman, Calandar Man and...oh I’m sorry those are all Batman villains!

It’s almost like EVERY superhero has loads of shitty villains if they last long enough or something.

More importantly...as if people friggin count EVERY villain.

You count the NOTABLE ones, the ones that are recurring or a major feature of major stories. And it’s of those guys that you judge a hero’s rogue’s gallery. So on balance Spider-Man has a GREAT rogue’s gallery and a better one than every other Marvel hero.

I mean Jesus Christ once you get passed Moonstone, Dracula and Madam Masque how many honestly good villains are there in Carol Danvers’, Blade’s or Iron Man’s rogues galleries? Two or three, four at a push?

Spidey has like 10 decent to great recurring villains. The Hell does it matter that he also punched Hypno Hustler once in the 1970s? THAT drags down the whole thing?

At least Spider-Man’s dumb or bad villains are memorable.

8: His place with the Avengers

This...is actually a very good point.

Well done WatchMojo...Too bad shittons of Spider-Man fans absolutely DO acknowledge this as a problem.

I don’t see anyone currently complaining that he isn’t a regular Avenger.

7: Immortal Aunt May

Okay for starters Aunt May already died and Peter wasn’t ‘devastated’. Sad, grieving sure but he handled it.

Second of all what is this ‘necessity to keep her around’?

There is no necessity. She serves no purpose if she’s alive and doesn’t know who he is.

As for us knowing May will never be allowed to die? We don’t know that because Marvel did kill her off and committed to that for a while.

But the biggest BS with this argument is that...what Spider-Man fans DON’T know this and WON’T admit this besides John Byne and his cronies?

6: His Way with women

“He’s just an all round terrible boyfriend”

Get fucked no he isn’t.

99% of the problems that stem from Peter as a romantic prospect for a woman are directly connected with his work as Spider-Man. Which is frankly not a million miles away from being a police officer, soldier and doctor combined. Notice how all of them tend to have romantic partners and indeed Peter HAS had successful romantic relationships. As have other superheroes.

You can’t just throw out ‘he’s just all round terrible’ and leave it at that.

“This everyman only dates women who look like supermodels”

Wow...that’s some grade A sexism right there and stupidity there.

Let’s ignore the fact that you could argue that some of the women Peter dates only look like supermodels due to artistic licence and that in universe they aren’t regarded as looking like that.

Let’s ignore the fact that Peter’s dated women who DON’T look like that.

Let’s even ignore the fact 99% of ALL women in comic books if taken at face value look traditionally glamorous and beautiful. Fuck in recent years even Aunt May has been drawn resembling Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren, women who look decidedly more glamorous and attractive for their age than most women in their demographic. She literally looks younger NOW than she did in the 1960s or even the 1990s!

Let’s ignore all that shit and dive a little deeper.

FIRST of all beauty is mostly in the eye of the beholder so ‘supermodel sexy’ is fairly arbitrary here.

Second of all, there is no life algorithm determining people of X level of attraction are unlikely to hook up with people of Y level of attraction and more likely to hook up with people of Z level of attraction.

Third of all by traditional standards of attraction Peter WOULD be appealing to a lot of women. He is himself fairly handsome in his facial features, his physique is obviously in great shape, he’s incredibly intelligent (in the 2010s in particular scientific acumen has been promoted as sexy) and he’s got a responsible and dependable personality, his problem is being too responsible if anything. He’s also fairly open minded, he got over his wife making more money than him fairly quickly, he was aokay with his wife going off to night clubs to party and dance with strangers and be the object of countless people’s sexual fantasies which a lot of men, even today wouldn’t feel totally comfortable with. If a woman knows he’s a superhero too my goodness that could be yet another major source of attraction. Not only could a woman find it very glamorous and find the secrecy and potential danger a turn on but like...friggin doctors and firefighters are routinely framed as the subjects of romantic or sexual fantasies for a lot of people. If you are a bona fide superhero that could easily dial up that kind of attraction to 11. This is to say nothing of the fact that some people find power a turn on and Peter unlike most people has very real physical power. In fact even if a woman doesn’t know he’s a superhero it’s entirely possible that they could pick up on the fact that he is powerful in some way and that could be a potential turn on.

I’m not saying any or all of those apply to every potential partner but it can for a lot of people.

Finally...are we really going to judge these characters on the basis of their looks as opposed to their personalities. Like it’d be more fair if Peter had dated an A-list actress, a high up in the Pentagon and a secret agent but not if he dated like 5 NYC dwelling working women who happened to be traditionally very attractive.

What makes this all worse is that the video is doubly wrong because not only is it not a real problem in the first place but it’s also something that an obnoxiously HUGE chunk of Spider-Man DO refer to (incorrectly) as a problem.

5: The constant attempts to make him the public enemy

This is another thing most fans DO agree is a problem...sort of. Because when the Hell was the last time Spider-Man was regarded as a wanted fugitive anyway? Zdarsky’s run in like 2017 maybe?

More poignantly the notion that the general public wouldn’t view Spider-Man as a vigilante because he’s not grim and gritty is asinine for several reasons.

To begin with he isn’t just a lunatic with guns or a a guy dressed as a bat he’s a bona fide super human entity and one who USED to be an entertainer of all things. That alone provides grounds for people to want to bring him in for taking the law into his own hands.

More importantly this video utterly omits ( in spite of SHOWING the panels proving it) that a huge reason people buy into the idea that Spider-Man should be brought in is because of Jameson’s slander campaign and propaganda against him.

The video isn’t even arguing that the fact that Spider-Man’s been proven innocent multiple times makes repeating him being wanted unbelievable, it’s literally saying any time that ever happened it was BS.

The Avengers comparison is a false equivalency too. Not only was Spidey NOT affiliated with the Avengers for most of his career thus the solidified public opinion of him wasn’t going to be as charitable as the Avengers’ was but more poignantly it ignores WHY the Avengers were more beloved.

Throughout their history the Avengers have either had highly respected members in their line up (like Captain goddam America living legend of WWII!) or had government ties which legitimized them and held them accountable to some degree. For a lot of their history they absolutely weren’t just a big gang of vigilante’s. And a lot of the Avengers didn’t even have secret identities unlike Spider-Man.

Also Jameson slandered them too when Spidey initially joined them so you know...affiliation don’t mean shit.

Finally the video claims that Jameson printing propaganda doesn’t make the public turning on him believable.

Wow...just...wow...

Okay so does Watchmojo know what propaganda is? Shaping the public opinion is literally the whole point of it! So Jameson making a lot of it, although it isn’t just Jameson MOST newspapers in NYC print Anti-Spider-Man stories, is very much making the public’s hatred of Spidey believable because it is shaping their views.

More importantly...has Watchmojo looked at the world right now?

I don’t want to turn this into a big ‘Trump is bad’ post but like...this is a guy who’s got a ridiculous laundry list of immoral, unethical, illegal and just shady shit to his name. And we all know about it. It’s practically shoved in our faces daily unless we actively avoid it.

And a HUGE chunk of America still supports the guy. A HUGE chunk of America swallows his lies and the lies of the people who support him and are on his side. And even if they don’t just swallow everything they contort it in their heads to be right or support him in spite of that stuff for whatever reason.

And he’s not the lone example of this in modern culture or in fact in the history of mankind. A LOT of people are sheep and A LOT of people in the masses will not look at things logically or make sound judgments based on facts but rather follow in lockstep with what most people feel led by a loud voice or at least believe what they want to believe.

And believing that mysterious entertainer who had amazing but creepy powers was in fact a creepy criminal and so says this rich successful man who’s not hiding behind a mask, with the guy he’s accusing never stepping forward to publicly defend himself or deny the accusations?

The masses AREN’T going to just buy that narrative?

Of course they are.

To quote Spider-Man 2002:

“The one thing they love more than a hero, is to see a hero fail, fall. Die trying. In spite of everything you’ve done for them eventually they will hate you.”

4: The refusal to let him age

Again 99% of ALL Spider-Man fans acknowledge this is a problem!

Not that the video gets it’s fact correct.

It seems to have used the Slott run as the foundation of the entire video which as anyone reading my blog for awhile should know, is a big mistake.

In SLOTT’s run Peter was a manchild for sure.

But he absolutely wasn’t in JMS’ run where his age wasn’t exactly pinned down but he acted like a late 20s/early 30s guy. Indeed  he was clearly aging and maturing up until like John Byrne showed up in the late 1990s and even then it wasn’t like he was consistently written to be 22.

More importantly if you were to hypothetically argue Peter was 22-25 forevermore then why is him always acting that way tantamount to making him a manchild? If he acted that way at age 35 sure, but if the idea is he’s 22 and acts 22 then there is no problem.

Not that that is what happened in BND and Slott’s run, I’m just saying.

3: The irreparable damage of One More Day

There are 2 ways to interpret this point.

a)      That OMD caused huge damage at which point what kind of crack is Watchmojo smoking if they think the people who DON’T admit this are anything but a tiny minority and even then they are the newbies who probably don’t know about OMD yet

b)      That everyone admits OMD was bad and damaging but that all/most fans won’t admit that the damage is beyond repair. At which point that’s bullshit because whilst most fans won’t admit that OMD’s damage is irreparable the reason most fans do not admit that is because it’s not true. OMD is 100% fixable it’s just ALLOWING it to be fixed thats the problem.

2: His finances

The only reason Doc Ock managed to be a hero and get a doctorate and found Parker Industries was a combination of bad writing and immorality.

Doc Ock went from not having a Master’s degree to earning a doctorate in under a year which is physically impossible!

He also founded and built up a whole company in that time too which is also physically impossible, there doesn’t exist enough time for this stuff to HAPPEN!

More importantly Doc Ock only managed to do all this through embezzling illegally acquired funds, neglecting his hero responsibilities (hence Norman Osborn was able to gain power!) and basically reusing work he’d already done when he earned his own doctorate.

Oh and let’s not forget Slott turned on the cheat codes for his pet character.

So Watchmojo are making a false equivalency in comparing Peter and Otto.

Peter hasn’t been able to get his finances in order because he never STOLE shittons of money and goods from people or engaged in criminal enterprises to build finances for himself.

He’s stuck trying his best to strike an impossible balance between a job that can allow him to afford the highly expensive life of an inner Manhattan resident, maintain his superhero equipment like expensive web-fluid, look after a family member (in a day and age long before a proper welfare system for healthcare) and have some semblance of a normal life to keep him sane and be a superhero at the same time.

He could NEVER maintain a 9-5 ever without major suspension of disbelief! Hence Slott had to give him a shitty fanfiction job with ‘choose your own hours’.

More importantly in Slott’s run pre-Superior Peter’s finances WERE in a very healthy state. He had to cheat to make it happen but he did it! But back then his Spidey expenses and all his other ones were totally covered.

As for whether Spider-Man fans admit this or not again, it’s not a case of the majority saying this because the discourse is way more all over the place on this topic. What is more poignant though is that MOST fans do make shitty Superior comparisons like the above.

1: His repeated failure to live by that one important rule

First of all Watchmojo misquotes the rule so not off to a great start here.

“Supposedly central to the character”????????? Did Tom Brevoort fund this video or something?

“Why doesn’t he apply this to all aspects of his life” He does. That’s the point. The responsibilities of normal life vs. superhero responsibilities. Hence the struggle in the early days was being a hero AND looking after his Aunt May.

And oh boy....pulling out the most infamous moment from the Clone Saga.

Real classy Watchmojo.

For real I’m honestly sick and disgusted of people pulling this scene out of context.

Now I wrote a long ass article dissecting that story/scene years ago so feel free to read that.

tl:dr version: Peter and Ben Reilly were stated to be out of control and not in their right minds. Peter had recently lost Aunt May, his parents and endured numerous immense stresses upon his psyche which had resulted in him having a mental breakdown.

He got better but very quickly thereafter endured more, perhaps even more severe mental stresses and traumas. People who endure breakdowns are unfortunately more vulnerable to further breakdowns so when someone who’s had a breakdown recently, then very recently recovered has inadequate time to heal and is hit in quick succession with traumatic experiences another breakdown is all but inevitable.

In this case Peter broke down when his entire sense of identity was shattered upon learning he was a clone and that this fact might have serious health risks for his pregnant wife and their unborn child, MJ herself even exclaimed ‘my baby’ upon learning Peter was a clone.

BTW when Ben Reilly initially learned he was a clone he wanted to die and contemplated suicide, and he hadn’t built as much of a life for himself as Peter had, he wasn’t an expenctant father or husband for instance.

Anyway this news broke an already severely vulnerable Peter and he attacked Ben Reilly.

In his blind rage Peter without realizing she was there lashed out at Mary Jane when she tried to stop him.

In other words Peter did not consciously, deliberately, in his right mind attack Mary Jane. He didn’t even properly register her presence

And NO, it’s a million miles from someone getting drunk and hitting their wife or getting angry or having long standing anger issues. Those are all things they have a degree of control over, they have the potential to recognize they have a problem and work on it or else not engage in substances or activities that would accentuate a problem or create a potentially toxic scenario.

In this specific case entirely external circumstances Peter had no say in occurred to shatter him  and THEN an accident occurred wherein MJ was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And then nothing like that ever happened again ever!

It was wrong, he should beg her forgivness on his knees and all that entails, but it was 100% NOT what Watchmojo paints it as. It’s irresponsible of them to have presented the scene out of context in fact.

Moving on...Peter is irresponsible because he’s allowed his loved ones to come to harm.

Er, Watchmojo sweetie that’s either because of

a)      Bad writing. Which we do not count in regards to our analysis of who the characters are, hence we don’t count OMD because it’s OUT of character or

b)      He’s human. Peter lives by great power and great responsibility but that isn’t the same thing as him being perfect. He can’t AVOID his loved ones coming to harm 100% of the time because he’s human.

To argue he could by not having them in his life is asinine because he NEEDS human companionship as we all do and the people who know his identity typically maintain a relationship with him nevertheless.

“He’s failed to learn from his past mistakes”

Remember all those criminals Spider-Man deliberately allowed to walk free out of pure selfish disinterest after that one time he did that in 1962?

How about all those times he used a singular webline to save falling people from bridges after that worked out well for him in 1972?

“Where was his great responsibility when he rewrote all of reality in OMD”

It wasn’t present because that was against his character...as mentioned earlier IN THIS VERY VIDEO!

“We aren’t asking for perfection”

And yet a 100% success rate of protecting his loved ones is demanded for him to have lived by Ben’s words even though in real life people can’t protect their loved ones from all forms of harm. I have relatives and family friends who lost their son in a tragic car accident when he was abroad. Are we sitting here saying they were ‘irresponsible’? If so fuck you.

Also...the root of this video is that these are things all/most fans won’t admit to.

As if 99.9% of fans don’t point out how hardcore out of character or irresponsible hitting MJ or making a Mephisto deal was FFS!

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

Let’s debunk this shit.

First off...why should we, on the topic of Spider-Man, actually place stock by the guy who has in the past argued Sins Past is as, if not more, bad than One More Day when anyone with an ounce of knowledge of how writing craft works would realize this is abjectly false. As a story the flaws in Sins Past amount to it inserting something into the past that doesn’t fit at all. One More Day by contrast not only does this but needs to violently ignore 45 yrs of established characterization to even function and even then it fails since it needs to contradict its own narrative.

  Oh and you know MovieBob is the guy who said ‘That Spec cartoon wasn’t as good as people make it out to be. People like it more for what it could be than what it was.’...WTF was he even watching.

 But let’s dive into some more specifics of Bob’s argument.

 “OMD ‘needed’ to happen.”

 This is objectively untrue.

 Let’s give the benefit of the doubt and say what Bob meant wasn’t so much that Spider-Man needed to make a deal with the Devil but rather it was necessary to get rid of Spider-Man’s marriage.

 I can’t bring myself to do a 3000 word essay on why the latter alone is idiotic, sexist, myopic and utterly false but here is a cliffnotes version.

 There are 2 fundamental problems with Bob’s line of thinking.

 The 1st is that to end the marriage you needed to outright alter Spider-Man’s history via a soft DC style continuity reboot thus creating in a literal sense an alternate universe version of Spider-Man who’d just never been married in the first place.

 Put simply Spider-Man’s marital status could’ve been ended in universe through numerous methods that avoided that. He could’ve gotten divorced. The US government as some kind of petty revenge upon Spider-Man turning on the Registration Act could’ve legally annulled his marriage along with certain other legal aspects of his life. There could’ve been a reveal that due to a legal loophole nobody realized at the time technically speaking Peter and MJ had never been married in the first place despite believing they were.

 None of this would’ve fixed the most egregious contrivance of OMD and OMIT, that by simply never having been married magically this = Peter and MJ would break up. You still need to justify THAT separately which OMD didn’t even attempt to do. OMD in isolation erases their marriage but it doesn’t explain or justify why doing this would mean they are now no longer in a relationship. OMIT tried and miserably failed to do that because once again it required the abject ignoring of decades of established (and logical) characterization.

  But what should we expect from the guy who in another video once said Superman would be a jerk if he married Lois Lane because of the stress and dangers it’d expose her to, specifically comparing it to real life people who’s jobs offer comparable examples. ‘Superman would never put Lois Lane through that’ said Bob (though I am paraphrasing I admit.

  Why?

  If REAL people do that then why WOULDN’T Superman OR Spider-Man do so?

 It’s a line of thought which amounts to Bob saying those people shouldn’t have marital relationships. And that is gross.

 The 2nd problem with Bob’s ‘it needed to happen’ assertion is the notion that CREATIVELY it was necessary for the health of Spider-Man.

 Let’s ignore how creatively (and financially) Superman has been on the up and up since 2016 when he got his marriage BACK.

 Instead let’s consider for a moment...why?

 Why CREATIVLY does Spider-Man need to not be married to work? Why does he need to be single for his long term creative/financial health?

 There is no answer because the truth is he isn’t. Spider-Man’s love life is relevant only in so far as the series follows his life and not being asexual romance is a part of that. At which point if you are arguing for his long term creative health he needs to be able to swap out the women he’s going to be romantically/sexually involved with why then does that not also apply to literally every other character connected to every other part of his life?

 It doesn’t.

 It’s a bullshit argument born of an ignorant lack of questioning. It’s born of “Well it’s got to be this way because it’s always been this way and it’s worked that way.” Ignoring how it doesn’t and how you know...Marvel comics itself exists off the back of saying “Maybe it doesn’t have to just be this way. I don’t like that way in fact, I like the idea of trying it this other way.”

 Spider-Man being single keeps Spider-Man stunted and in a state of doomed to failure. It literally renders his love life redundant because every reader (and this applied before 1987 when he got married, but applies a thousand times more now) knows his romances will never amount to anything and that they are glorified Bond girls. And I’ll be honest the substance (such as there is) in the Bond movies NEVER lies with the Bond girls with the sole exceptions of those few movies where they tease you with the idea that he has deeper feelings for them.

 Then you have the fact that marriage as a part of most people’s lives and a responsibility is outright tailor made for the character who’s core concept is entwined around the interconnected idea of responsibility and being a (relatively) normal person. It’s not different to him graduating from High school or moving out of Aunt May’s house or getting a job.

 But let’s look at the franchise in the wake of OMD creatively and financially has it been doing better than before?

 LOL NOPE!

 In 2016 we had the Power Play arc. This arc was THE Spider-Man event of the year. It tied into the previous Spider event of 2015, Renew Your Vows by introducing the incredibly powerful villain Regent who’s powers were that he had the powers of EVERY other hero virtually and in RYV took over all of NYC following killing the X-Men and Avengers on his own. It guest starred fan favourite Miles Morales, the first substantial appearance of the character in Amazing Spider-Man since his migration into the 616 universe. It also guest starred lead character of the MCU and (then) Marvel comics poster boy Iron Man fresh from his hyped up run under Bendis, the biggest name in comics of the previous 20 years. It also teased the appearance of the newest team of Avengers, a brand that has been huge since 2012 for obvious reasons. Oh and it featured the return of another fan favourite Mary Jane who was once more being used to tease the possibility of her and Spider-Man’s romantic reunion which had been a surefire way of raising hype for a story since 2008 onwards. Oh and it was clearly a tie-in to the international blockbuster and critically acclaimed movie, Captain America: Civil War.

 And of course you had much promotion from the Marvel hype machine, Dan Slott interviews and the usual variant cover artificial sales inflation gimmick that had become common to Marvel.

 Safe to say that this story was a big, big deal and sure to sell well right?

 Well....it actually sold less than a barely promoted, run-of-the-mill ASM arc from 2005 by J. Michael Straczynski that featured in the first issue Tony Stark sitting on a chair sans armour and beyond that no guest stars....oh and there were no variant covers....and btw Spider-Man was married in it

  . ...Oh....

  But hey what about some OTHER Spider-Man stories since OMD. Haven’t THEY been creatively enriching?

 I mean we had classics like:

 The Lizard ruins the interesting humanizing aspects of his character when he becomes a cannibalistic monster who eats his own son and maybe rapes someone

 Black Cat’s characterization gets flushed down the toilet so she can be an indulgent juvenile sexual fantasy for Joe Kelly who believes Spider-Man is fundamentally a man child Black Cat’s characterization gets shot to shit again by her ripping off Catwoman by becoming a gangster, something she has never held aspiration for before and seems to want to get involved in now for no reason at all beyond being angry that Spider-Man imprisoned her and exposed her identity that wasn’t even secret in the first place

 Dan Slott who likes Doc Ock more than he likes Peter Parker decides to say screw it and make Doc Ock Spider-Man thus invalidating the entire reason he was hired, which is to write about Peter Parker. He proceeds to make Doc Ock a villain sue and cause readers to wonder if he’s this smart and this dangerous he lost so many times in the past at all? Also he tries to rape Mary Jane in issue 2 and then succeeds in maybe raping Spider-Man himself in the same issue and definitely succeeds in raping the only dwarf character in Spider-Man’s canon.

 Spider-Man becomes like Iron Man thus invalidating the entire point of his character and reasons people like to read about him.

 A mystery surrounding the Green Goblin’s identity that turns out to be the twist that he was Norman Osborn all along meaning this was a pointless mystery the whole time.

 Ben Reilly finally comes back after 20 years but doesn’t act even a little bit like the character people knew and loved causing people to wish he’d stayed dead

  Betty Brant is physically assaulted and Spider-Man tracks down the assailant but when he finds him lets him go (thus enabling him to assault other innocent women) because Aunt May guilt tripped him by saying he was a jerk at age 15 for allowing her, a 50+ year old adult and his parental guardian, to cope with Uncle Ben’s death alone on the night of his death.

  Fan favourite Mayday Parker has her character now defined by the death of her father invalidating the entire point of her character which was the ongoing relationship between herself and her Dad

  Every spider person ever fights a bunch of one note cosmic vampires across alternate niverses who are variant action figures of another one note cosmic vampire villain. The story is utterly reparative and makes Spider-Man play second fiddle to all the other characters cramming for panel time.

 I could go on but I won’t.

 To count the creative successful and enriching Slott and the post-OMD Spider-Man stories is a far easier task than to count the ones which are for the most part mediocre-God forsakenly terrible and miss the whole point of the various characters involved (most of all you know SPIDER-MAN himself!) because the latter is the norm post-OMD.

 Tellingly both volume 1 and volume 2 of Renew Your Vows a book BUILT around the concept of a married Spider-Man have (when judged appropriately given their out of continuity status) garnered perfectly respectable sales (especially in volume 1) prior to their recent time skip (an ill advised move regardless of what the series was about) and critical acclaim. And critical acclaim from people besides Marvel/Spider-Man sycophants like CBR who have vested financial interests in positively reviewing the stories.

 In fact there is a very strong argument in favour of Slott being the single most creatively damaging Spider-Man writer in history. The list of things that need to be FIXED because of his idiocy and incompetence is vast.

 Moving on to Bob’s other points:

 “Peter and MJ being together was a dumb stunt when the did it in the first place”

 If Bob had you know READ the stories leading into the wedding he’d know

 a) That relationship and marriage was being built up since 1984 albeit with the initial intention being Peter stranded at the altar.

 b) A stunt isn’t rendered invalid merely because it is a stunt. A Stunt can make sense and with the build up the wedding had this was one such example

 “The marriage generated very few decent stories that wouldn’t have worked just as well without it”

 Here is a list of a FEW decent or above stories which in some significant way make use of the Spider marriage between 1987-2007

 Kraven’s Last Hunt

 Venom

 ASM #400

 Revenge of the Green Goblin

 A Death in the Family

 ASM volume 2 #49-50

 ASM volume 2 #51-54

 Sensational Spider-Man volume 2 #32

 Sensational Spider-Man Annual 2007, the only Eisner nominated Spider-Man story ever

 Spider-Man unlimited volume 3 #2 Story 2: Making Contributions

 Eleven Angry Men and One angry Woman

 Parallel lives

 Spider-Man: the Final Adventure

 Web of Death

 Revelations the end of the Clone Saga

  Spectacular Spider-Man #241

  Spectacular Spider-Man #242-245

 ASM vol 2 #39

  Ultimate Spider-Man Anthology book: Five Minutes

  I Heart Marvel Web of Romance #1

  Spectacular Spider-Man #199-200

  Spectacular Spider-Man #250

  The Tombstone arc

  Peter Parker Spider-Man volume 2 #14

 Marvel Knights Spider-Man #1-12

  Hmmm...it’s almost like Bob sucks at mathematics and story evaluation or something. Then again he did say there was no problem with Luke Skywalker in Last Jedi so you know...I should know better.

  Oh and btw the whole ‘those would’ve worked JUST as well without the marriage’ argument is a double edged sword since there are literally less than 20 Spider-Man stories post-OMD that WOULDN’T have worked with a married Spider-Man and only one of them is good...and only if you also take entirely in isolation of Spider-Man’s wider history. Every other story with tweaks could work AS if not MORE effectively with a married Spider-Man.

  If the argument is there should be no elements in a story that do not actively contribute to it then shit....why should Spider-Man’s SINGLE status be in a book? Why should Aunt May, Jameson or shitton else be multiple stories across the decades of Spider-Man? Hell by this logic Aunt May or Betty Brant are superfluous to ASM annual #1 which inspired part of Spider-Man 2.

   “The Spider Marriage left the franchise spinning it’s wheel for a very long time.”

 This is another lie. After Peter and MJ got married there was precious little wheel spinning. Almost immediately we jumped into ongoing stories involving Betty Brant, Joe Robertson, Peter going to school again, MJ and Peter’s finances taking a hit when MJ lost her job, Jameson being impersonated by Chameleon, Black Cat dating Flash, Peter’s parents returning and THEN you got the Clone Saga FFS.

  Following that we got Norman Osborn running the Daily Bugle followed by the true wheel spinning garbage of the Mackie/Byrne run which was bad BECAUSE they axed the marriage. Following that when JMS took over his wheel spun for maybe 5 months tops? The rest of the time he reconstructed Peter and MJ and Aunt May’s characters, thrust forward with his Spider totem storyline and then began the slow build up to OMD starting with Peter becoming and Avenger.

  There were few months were NOTHING was really happening and the number of issues where that was the case owed much more to the fact that the writers needed to pad out FOUR monthly titles each month!

 “By contrast BND and Slott’s run has been good”

 By objective writing standards this is a fallacy and Bob is offering no proof to this. He just says ‘it’s been good’. Except Bob’s word isn’t proof unto itself despite how much he must like to think so.

 “Peter and MJ are more interesting now”

  This is the proof Bob is not a...I don’t want to say he isn’t true fan. I rarely use that term. It’s more that he...isn’t an informed fan.

 Anyone who knows any legit shit about Spider-Man could tell you Spider-Man is far from more interesting now than he was prior to BND.

  Pre-OMD Spider-Man was the sum of 45 years of experiences. A 30ish average guy who’d been through Hell and a lot of battles and survived them and coped with that pain. He was a competent hero and a flawed human being who was just trying to look out for the little guy and take care of his family.

  MJ meanwhile was a woman who’d also lived through Hell but demonstrated sheer steel by surviving it in spite of having no powers to fall back on. She’d gone from a carefree party animal who was seemingly selfish, to a hero in her own right who had an endless well of inner strength.

  In contrast post-OMD Peter Parker is a man-child fuck up who illegally invades foreign nations with his giant G.I. Joe action figures whilst often playing second fiddle in his own fucking book to whatever guest stars want to steal the limelight. And he’s not believable anymore. He isn’t a grounded guy who copes with the shit thrown at him. He’s the guy who just shrugs off being killed, having his body stolen and his life upended by his enemy and then losing a year of his life.

  That isn’t more interesting unless you are arguing being a Saturday morning cartoon character is inherently more interesting than being....welll actually inherently more interesting than being a certain character Stan Lee and Steve Ditko invented in 1962.

  Which Bob plainly isn’t arguing because he’s also listing MJ as ‘more interesting’....how?

  MJ isn’t even IN the book regularly any more so HOW could she be more interesting. Worse when she WAS in the book she had 2 roles. Ship tease the fans by being Peter’s friend and confidant (i.e. something she used to do BEFORE BND) or being a blind idiot in Superior which is NOT more interesting.

 So what the fuck is he talking about?

 I don’t know WHAT he’s talking about. But when you make a statement like: ‘on balance this story that eviscerated and betrayed everything about who Spider-Man is and invalidates his motivation from now on because he sold out in the biggest way possible, was on balance worth it because we got t see Doc Ock as Spider-Man try to rape people’ I certainly from WHERE he is talking from.

  And the sun don’t shine there son.

[canaryatlaw]

well today was pretty good, best day in a while. I woke up at like, 8:20 with my alarm set for 8:45 and knew I wasn’t going to fall back asleep now that I had this knowledge so I just laid in bed and waited for my alarm to go off and then got up lol. I definitely packed like 4 different snacks in my purse, just because I felt like it was good to have them on hand for today (I ended up eating two of them). It was WAY TOO FUCKING COLD today, like 44, so I had to wear my fucking winter coat and it was awful and Chicago I’m so mad at you about this because it’s late May dammit I shouldn't have to still be putting up with this bullshit. I felt bad for the kids on the baseball/softball fields the bus passes that were already out there playing at 9 am when it was so cold. I do distinctly have memories of playing soccer in the snow, it was the end of the season and they had to get the games in, I legit had my winter coat on with my jersey over it, and it was legit snowing while we were playing. I can’t say it was really a negative memory though, because pretty much all my like, actual childhood memories of playing soccer were happy because I loved it so much, it was only once the breathing issues set in when I was 12 did they start becoming awful, frustrating and heartbreaking memories because I still loved it so much but I couldn’t do it now, and I felt so inadequate that I legit burst into tears on several occasions.....but then I found theatre and things were much happier again, so we can walk back that little tangent a little. But yeah, I took the bus to the train, I had to wait 11 minutes for the next train and it was fucking cold, I only had my coat, not my scarf or gloves or hat because IT’S MAY and I was freezing. But we got to church, a few minutes late but no big deal, I ended up sitting a little farther back than usual but it’s all good. I remembered upon arriving that small group sign ups opened up at 8 am this morning, and they fill up super fast, so I was bad and went on my phone discreetly during the service to make sure I could get a spot in the Young Adults/20s and 30s Singles small group. You’re supposed to be able to commit to 75% of the meetings before signing up, which I can’t technically do at this point because idk what’ll be happening in my life in July, but I know one of the leaders, she graduated from another law school in the city a few years back so I think I’ll just talk to her and be like as soon as I know if I have to leave I’ll drop out and someone else can have the spot and I’m sure she’ll be cool with it. Great worship as always, the little question they gave to talk to your neighbor for a minute while they transition was “if you could be any superhero who could you be” so I turn to the guy next to me and was like OH BOY, this is my fucking jam haha and we had a short conversation about DC vs Marvel and DCTV, so that was cool. Early in the sermon about the holy spirit my pastor brought up this group called “The Power Team” which I had completely forgot was a thing, but as soon as he said I had suddenly had these super vivid memories of sitting in some room in some church somewhere on Long Island (I had to have been like, 7, so I was little) and just watching these incredibly jacked guys do things like smash bricks with their hands and bend frying pans in half and literally blow up a hot water bottle until it burst, all while saying things like “IT’S THE POWER OF GOD THAT LETS US DO THIS” and that was their whole jam, that we were supposed to believe they could only do these superhuman acts because of God specifically enabling them to do them. I don’t know what was going on in the heads of the adults who were sending kids to this thing all the while knowing it had to be a farce, and that was the point my pastor was making, there’s nothing incredible about a man being able to do an act that he is physically built enough to do, if a normal not jacked guy came up and ripped a phonebook in half (that was another thing they did, my pastor joked “if some of you don’t know what that is, we used to print the internet”) by calling on the holy spirit then that would be something you could actually attribute to God, and how when we don’t believe incredible things in our lives can happen we aren’t realizing the full power of God (or something along those lines, you know what I mean). It got me thinking a bit about growing up in the church and how many kids raised in the church (so called “second generation Christians”) end up straying from the church, and how I felt like I got a bit of a cheat sheet in that area. I remember being in some sunday school class somewhere along the line and they were like “who’s had prayer requests that they’ve had answered by God?” and all the other kids were like “well I won my baseball game!” or “when I had the flu I got better!” and I was just like “well I actually prayed a human being into existence by praying for a little sister for three years until it happened” and I just remember the teacher being like........don’t know how to follow that up lol. Anyway. Service ended and I went to the volunteer lounge for our huddle up, it was the last week with one of the family ministries leaders, so we did a whole little celebration for him which was nice. When I got up to the baby’s room I was alone at first and one of the leaders/my friend came in and was like “oh you’re definitely not supposed to be alone, there were like 3 people signed up” so I did end up getting another person. Things went pretty smoothly overall, we ended up with 6  babies at one point, but ended up having to text the parents of this one little girl who was so adorable but was just not having it, she kept reaching towards the door and yelling “mama, mama!” as she cried and I was like damn, I can’t take this lol but besides that there were no real tears, everyone did pretty well together. There was a super adorable little boy who I’m pretty sure already turned 2 but if they want to keep him with the babies that’s fine with me, he wasn’t really engaging at first but after several attempts he got into it and was having fun. And there was this super cute little 11 month old girl who is the spitting image of her dad, her dad is definitely mixed race and it looks like her mother might be as well (I’m just speculating obviously) but the baby has that like, super adorable darker skin lighter hair and eyes thing going on and gosh, she’s just so damn cute lol. She’s still at the stage where she can’t fully stand up on her own, but will try to find anything she can grab onto to help pull herself  up, which can be problematic when she’s grabbing on like, the dirty diaper disposal haha but nothing too bad. There was a 7 month old little girl, and another one who was 19 months, both of whom were pretty calm, and there was the daughter of the couple who recently started heading up family ministries and she’s just the cutest little thing, she’s just got the whole chubby baby thing going on and she gives the best hugs and is so cute. So that went pretty well. After it ended I went back to the blue line train, but then switched over to the red line because I was going to meet Jess at the tattoo place to go with her to get her tattoo, so I did that and then walked down to the place, it was right across the street from the Target I generally go to so I knew where it was. They had  bit of a wait so we ended up sitting and talking for a while, which was good because we hadn’t seen each other in like a month so we had a lot of catching up to do. Then her name got called so she was talking with the guy about what she wanted done, and I chatted for a few minutes with another guy about the tattoo situation on me wrist (being that I got a white ink tattoo on it in January 2014 and then in July 2016 broke my wrist and ended up with a giant surgery scar right through my tattoo) and they basically said white ink tattoos are super hard to touch up because of the way the ink reacts to your body and it probably would not come out looking very good, so it'd probably be better to let it fade (they’re supposed to fade out it like 10 years, which I was aware of when I got it because it was another way I could be like “well if I decided I don’t want it anymore I can just let it fade and it’ll be gone” to my parents about it) and then maybe try something else in a different location, so I’m going to think about it, another option would be to get another tattoo on top of the old one, but I feel like that would be difficult to do without adding some color, and the whole point of it being white ink was to not draw attention to it because lawyer and I’m already kind of toeing the line of professionalism with my bright red hair and multiple ear piercings. so we’ll see, I’ll think about it, maybe in a few years when I’m somewhat established in the legal world. But yeah, they printed up Jess’ thing and made a stencil, and we came back and did the tattoo, during which we talked about Divergent and I was explaining my theory on how the hogwarts houses transfer into the Divergent factions (Amity and Abnegation are both just Hufflepuff, Dauntless is half gryffindor half slytherin, candor is half gryffindor half ravenclaw, and erudite is half ravenclaw half slytherin) (clearly I’ve put a lot of thought into this) as she squeezed my hand and was super brave through the whole thing (I know she doesn’t read these but I hope she knows I’m super proud of her for dealing with a whole lot of shit and making it out the other side still being an awesome human being). So once they finished up we ran over to the Target to get tattoo aftercare supplies, namely Aquaphor (which is apparently like bacitracin, I recognized the name but didn’t know what it actually was) and Dial hand soap, while I needed to pick up some make up removing wipes, and ended up grabbing a really cute pair of shorts because they were really cute and were my size and not made out of polyester and ended up being on sale, so, they were clearly a reasonable purchase. Checked out, I got a sour watermelon icee that I had been wanting to try (I got a super small one and I still couldn’t finish the whole thing without it burning my mouth, lol) and Jess got a passion tea/lemonade from the starbucks. So we then walked over to where she parked, and drove over to my place where she dropped me off and then went to lay in bed for the rest of the night because the seatbelt was like, apparently right on top of where the tattoo was and it was super painful so that sounded like a good plan. I got to my apartment and decided I wanted to make the parmesan noodle soup I made like a week or so ago for dinner which I realize contains like 800 calories in pasta but I don’t really care because it’s really good. So I did that, then waited for the Brooklyn 99 season finale to come on. Can I just say, I’m so proud of this show. I binged seasons one and two in preparation for season three because it was announced that Archie Panjabi was going to be on an episode and I was still hardcore on my Archie Panjabi kick at that point, especially for supporting work she did after she left TGW after being treated so poorly. But I ended up really liking the show so I kept watching, and like, suddenly it was everywhere and everyone was watching it and it was just this super awesome show everybody loved and it made me so happy. Obviously the season finale is a big deal, they really should’ve made it an hour special, but they did just fine in their half hour slot fitting in all the craziness that had to accompany a Jake/Amy wedding. So that made me happy. Once that was over I switched over to Netflix, and finished the episode of the great british baking show masterclass (the masterclass is basically just the two judges making their super awesome versions of what the contestants on the actual show had to make and it’s nuts but also super calming to watch. Once that was over I decided to start episode two of 13 Reasons Why’s second season, I figured I’d intercut watching it with british people baking as to not get too depressed about it. There was definitely a tonal shift in the show from last season to now, partially just because people are constantly dropping f-bombs which very much did not happen last season, and just generally being racier with things. I still have a lot of mixed feelings about the show, and I’m not terribly sure it’s something I want to endorse, but I at least want to watch it so I can make an informed decision on it. And again, I do feel some loyalty to it from having read the book all those years ago. The tone its take is definitely strange, though. The courtroom scenes continue to bother me because again, the defense’s entire case is bullshit inadmissible under rule of evidence 404 character evidence and is basically a victim blaming nightmare and has obviously been super traumatizing for all of the kids who they’ve had testify so far. The whole Jessica/Bryce situation is clearly incredibly volatile, and I very much hope it ends in Bryce having to face up to his crimes. The Alex storyline is interesting, it was an intriguing choice to go with a memory loss plot from his suicide attempt at the end of last season, so I’m interested to see how that’s going to play out. As far as Clay and Hannah and Skye are concerned, very much mixed feelings as well. Clay is of course clearly suffering from trauma and likely needs a mental health intervention, and not just because he’s quite literally seeing ghosts. Something about how they wrote Skye in this last episode kind of got under my skin, just that they’re going for the whole ~insecure artsy girl~ thing and I realize that’s most likely because I recognize the similarities of her with my own life and though I’m doing much better overall I do definitely still hate parts of me and that’s very much one of them. But yeah, it was a lot, so after that I watched two british baking episodes before starting to get ready for bed. It’s just past 1:30 am and I don’t have to be up for anything tomorrow, but I don’t want to waste the entire day sleeping in, so I’m going to call it a night here. Goodnight loves. Hope you have a kickass Monday.

[calzonekestis]

@agent13: Jackie hasn’t been active in quite a while, but she’s always been kind to me and her blog has has A+ opinions and content. 

@ar-se-ne: IDEK how long I’ve been following Cristian, but he’s a really nice guy with whom I have similar interests. He’s also someone that I’ve kind of of been inspired by in some ways. I don’t want to get too personal information, but it involves introspection and self improvement and yeah. I’m proud of him. He should be proud of himself.

@chujo-hime: I remember like circa 2012-2013 I had a ~moment~ because the webmaster of FYBN followed me. Chujo always has quality content, and is someone I respect for being very genuine and respectful. If something’s drawn her ire or made her bitter, she has a reason for it, and can write a solid meta on why it’s bullshit. At the same time, she’s someone who I’ve looked to when I consider how to handle my own fandom disagreements. It’s not worth arguing with people on the internet, it’s never fun. So long as people enjoy what they enjoy? Stay in their lane and let others do the same? We can all get along~~~

@cimikat: Katie is another person who I don’t even remember following. I can’t really remember my tumblr experience before her, though? I can say without any hyperbole though that she’s probably the nicest person I’ve ever encountered on this website? Literally, I can’t think of a single time I’ve seen her be salty. Upset and disappointed, sure, but she doesn’t wallow in negativity the way some people do and have in the past. If she enjoys something, she’s enthusiastic about it. If she no longer enjoys it? You won’t see her b*tch about it. She’s just very upbeat.

@dazzledfirestar: Daz shares my love of certain villains (Sin and Crossbones) while fully recognizing they’re deplorable human beings. That’s just one of the more superficial reasons I respect her. She’s another person who’s also genuine, and whom by following I feel like I’ve actually learned a lot? And I actually like to learn. Ignorance isn’t always mean spirited, and in the past I’ll admit I’ve been an ignorant white boy. Not that I was prejudice, there was just a lot I was either blind to or unaware of.  I’ve learned a lot about Romani culture by following Daz. A lot of history, a lot about the struggles and persecution they still face to this day. I also learned lot about the LGBT community; which honestly was a big help when I was trying to figure out/accept my bisexuality.

@diaryofawriter: What do I even say about you? believe we met because we both RP’d in the same fandoms and enjoyed the same content. Comics, OUAT, Harry Potter, and Star Wars. She’s both listened to me flail or rant countless times, either feigning or expressing genuine interest… for that I’m truly appreciative. She’s also helped me when it comes to letting go of things that are no longer fun or enjoyable for me (OUAT) and focus on the things that do bring me joy. A role model in that sense. >.>

@diisnerd: Leah. Leah was someone I met though a mutual friend, and while they’re closer than I am with her… I let me just say I have so much fucking respect for Leah. She’s just a good, loyal, protective, and caring friend. We have a lot of the same interests, too. We don’t talk all that often about them, but when we do it’s always an enjoyable conversation.

@dreamimpcssiblethings: Kath. Jesus. You know how much you mean to me, I should hope. You’re one of my best friends. It’s not even that we like a lot of the same things (we do) but you’re just very hard not to like? You’re super intelligent, super passionate. Be it about fandom things, classic literature, or just life. If one good thing came out of the rise and fall of my OUAT fandom, it was meeting you. All the salt is worth it for knowing you~

@ilikethequiet: Ally was one of the first people I met in the OUAT fandom, via a mutual friend/aquiantence. She’s a wizard when it comes to making edits and graphics. She’s someone with whom I’ve been salty on many an occasion, and I lured her into the iZombie fandom with me when our favorite actors transitioned over to that show. She’s just a delight. She also somehow made an AU graphic for a trashy ~problematic~ hateship look classy? Real friends hunt down topless screencaps so they can make you smutty collages for your birthday.

@jjoelswatch: Sarah is one of the first people I can remember following on tumblr. She’s another person where I wouldn’t recognize my dash without her. I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but I really respect her. She’s just a good person, very down to Earth and very witty. We don’t talk that much, but it’s always very pleasant when we do? Sarah was the first one to reach out and respond when I came out as bi. I’m still not out to my family. When I posted that little confession, I didn’t know what to expect. I simultaneously cared and didn’t care how people responded. It was weird, because it was something I had tried to deny and rationalize for so long. It’s something that no one should even care about, but Sarah empathized and realized it was kind of a big deal for me? Her reassurance that I wasn’t alone, even in such a short and concise message meant a lot. She’s one of my favorite mutals tbh.

@kennyhoemega: Bethany is a Goth Goddess. I’m not just saying that because she demanded the best compliment. On a superficial level, she’s just really pretty?? Now that’s out of the way, let me tell you legitimate reasons why she’s one of my favorite people to follow. She’s got great taste in music, she loves Star Wars, dabbles in Marvel and Harry Potter. You see a theme here with people I follow. She just also tends to reblog really neat things unrelated to those? I’ve gotten into astrology because of her. It’s mostly her fault that I’ve started watching wrestling again, bc there’s nothing good on TV and her passion is contagious and the gifs she reblogs are wild. She also has the best tags out of anyone I follow, bar none. I don’t even know when I first followed her either, around 2012 or so, but I know that it was absolutely 100% Sarah’s fault. Thank you, Sarah. TBH the first time I remember interacting with Bethany was when I added a gif and sarcastic comment to one of her salty posts about people trying to woobify Brock Rumlow. The next day, I realized this was likely not the best way to make a first impression? Fortunately she assured me that she got it, and that we were cool. Which is a relief, because as I’ve told her (and IDK if she believes me) she’s probably one of the coolest people I follow? It’s come to light that neither of us are big talkers, so we don’t actually talk that much… but she’s really rad. IDK when it started but she’s consistently been in my tumblr crushes for ages. Lots of mutual reblogging, again, lots of respect. She’s witty and intelligent. That’s not butt-kissin’, I’ve seen her post about certain tests and looked them up out of curiosity and wow. Yeah. Bethany also has the longest compliment, so that should make her happy. There was something about my needing a nuclear bunker if she wasn’t on this list. She deserves it though, she’s another one of my faves.

@kittenspawn: Nichole is my unofficial big sister. I say that as someone who actually has a big sister. She messaged me in 2012 with questions about Bucky and Natasha, and from that point on she was screwed. She got me into Hellboy in turn, but I like to think I’ve thoroughly corrupted her and caused her to spend far too much money on certain things. Nichole is someone who I can go weeks without talking to, and yet we can fall right back into conversation as if we talked the night before. She’s been a terrible enabler over the years, but she’s also been there for me during some difficult times and when I’ve done very stupid and questionable things. I know she’ll say I’ve been there for her as well, but the scales are seriously tipped here. When I need advice, or when I need to talk to someone about something serious… she’s the person I go to. I can always count on her, and she’s pretty much family at this point.

@ohmygil: Gil. I think I found you through Davis? You’re just a very sensible person, and very rational about a lot of things. It’s refreshing to see that on the internet these days. You’re someone who I don’t think I’ve ever had a actual ‘discussion’ with, but I’m including you here because I really enjoy your presence on my dash. I stopped reading DC regularly with the New 52, and pretty much all my DC intake these days is absorbed through your blog. You also get points for liking Superman. Some people think he’s too powerful, or a big boy scout, and while I’ve never regularly collected his titles I am a fan.

@prof-anity: …You know, I was tempted to leave you off this list just to be a dick. Yours would be the longest entry, so I’m keeping it short because what is there to even say? How much needs to be said? Seven years ago you met a bitter teenage douchebag on a message board. You made the mistake of accepting his friendship when he reached out to you. You’ve stuck with me through highs and lows, man. It’s one of those relationships again, where we may not talk every day. We may not be up to date on the details and goings on in each other’s lives… but you said it yourself. Our friendship has been one of the best constants in the past seven years. A third of your life, btw. Isn’t that depressing? You are, truly, the best friend I have ever had. One day I’m going to meet you, hug you, and then insult you to your face. You’re truly a brother to me. I love you.

@readytocomply: Stef! Stef is a delight. Always pleasant, always fun. She’s also super creative? She makes great edits, great cosplays, and is just pretty damn great over all. Stef is another person who I try to model myself after when it comes to shipping things. Re: Multi-Shipping. Stef ships Steve and Bucky. I do not. Stef also ships Bucky and Natasha. Stef respects canon and appreciates Sharon Carter. All this may sound inane but I’m glad I didn’t meet Stef until I did, because 2013 Tim might have been a little asshole re his ships and missed out befriending a great person because of his own stubborness… that could cross into douchebaggery. Stef has quality content on her blog at all times. Sebastian Stan. Marvel. Star Wars. Mark Hamill.. Harry Potter. Tron. Just general film. Chicken nuggets. Stef is a quality person with a quality blog.

@rocktheholygrail: Dana is someone I met through the iZombie fandom, and she is another wizard. A gif wizard, who has too often indulged my requests or suggestions. She’s another person whose enthusiasm is contagious. I was able to convince her to watch the entirety of Prison Break (save the revival) in less than a month before it was taken off Netflix. I don’t think I ever apologized for that. Dana also is trash tho, bc like me, her favorite iZombie character is the trashiest. I say that tongue in cheek, at least the first part. It’s really been great though to have someone who recognize a character as both human and horrible, and who is capable of watching and enjoying them despite their being problematic. If this was another fandom, I’d expect to be judged or ostracized, but instead I’m enabled once again.

@swanmagic: Gia is another person who doesn’t post on tumblr much (at least her personal) these days, but I’m including her because she’s been one of my favorite RP partners for years and we still talk from time to time on twitter. She’s just a great writer, great person, great friend. She’s another person who has excellent (and varied) musical taste.

@thealbooty: I met Alberto through Davis. It’s another thing where I don’t remember the circumstances, there was just one day where suddenly Alberto was in my life. Alberto is just a good guy… and I just mean good. He’s pure. If Davis is Spongebob, I’m Squidward and Alberto is Patrick. Only not as dumb. We don’t talk as much these days which makes me sad, but I love him too. Back in the day the three of us used to have group Skype chats and watch movies together. There was one day when Davis couldn’t make it or wasn’t online, and he and I just watched Hellboy and chatted for a few hours. That’s when Alberto went from being a friend of a friend to my friend. I’m glad he’s my friend.

@thejazzdalek: Max is another person, like Gil, who I’ve never really had a discussion with? He’s followed me for ages though, both on tumblr and on twitter and I appreciate that. I don’t really know him that well after all this time, embarrassingly. He seems like a nice guy, though. Big into Doctor Who, OUAT, DC, Marvel, just sci-fi and fantasy in general.

@timelessmulder: Emily-Alice is someone who I’ve been mutuals with since like 2012 I think. I don’t even know if we’re in the same fandoms anymore, but we keep following each other regardless. Over the years we’ve discussed everything from OUAT to DC, and these days when we talk it’s mostly to pick apart The Flash. She’s someone who has been with me for ages though, and has seen things.

@uhohjonsnow: So Betty is one of the first friends I actually made on tumblr when I engaged in fandom? I was an obnoxious teenage white boy who thought he was straight and acted like it, and she tolerated me anyway. Again, she’s someone who was witness to a lot of nonsense. We really were dicks to each other, lmao. I adore her though, bc she really is sweet and laid back. We went for years without talking,not due to any falling out, but we just drifted apart. She actually took a year off tumblr and recently returned, and we reconnected. She also accidentally deleted her blog and started fresh, so um, go follow her!

@uminoko: We’ve been mutuals for like years, and she’s just a nice person? Again, that’s a pathetic compliment, but it is true. She’s also another individual who I feel I’ve learned from by following? Part of that has to due with her being a former civil rights lawyer, but beyond that she’s just yet another smarty pants who I don’t talk to that much. She also  messaged me privately when I came out, and made me laugh when I needed it. Also, she’s an actual Russian who is a fan of Black Widow and Winter Soldier.

@uncleclustersthirdbrain: Donnie. This might be a little weird, because Donnie and I only reconnected like two weeks ago after three years of not really talking to each other? Again, there’s no bad blood, and he deserves to be on here. I’ve actually known him for five years, we met through his girlfriend Morgan. Donnie’s another person who has seen things, re seen me at my worst. Most obnoxious, outspoken, salty, dickish… and so on. I’ve always sort of looked up to him, though? Back when 17 going on 18 year old Tim met him, there was a sort of ‘notice me sempai’ thing going on. He’s yet another person who is too cool for me. In spite of toolish tendencies, there were times when Donnie reached out to make sure I was okay when I was being dramatic and having anxiety attacks over damn comic books. It sounds ridiculous, and it was, but at the time comics were my escape and how I dealt with a lot of tough shit I was going through. I was invested. Heavily invested, to an unhealthy degree. He’s just a good person who cares about his friends, and people in general. He’s also a fucking brilliant writer, who just recently put out his first comic. So I’m going to use this as another excuse to pimp it for him. Not because he’s my friend, but because I’m a selfish bastard who wants to read more and wants you to give him money so he can make more. He makes no personal profit from it, all the money goes towards paying his artists and the production. I’ve pretty much walked away from buying monthly comics, but as I’ve told Donnie, this is one I would pull. The first issue of And The Hare had some of the best dialogue I’ve read in a comic in easily the last year. At least.

@xeleyan-tequila: I met Chelsea through the OUAT fandom, and like me she gave up on the show a long time ago. She’s another person I don’t really talk to that much these days, but she’s a lovely person with a lovely blog who posts a little bit of everything. There are personal details to our relationship I won’t get into bc it’s no one’s business, and though we’re still friendly we sort of fell out of touch. I enjoy following her though, and she’s a wonderful human being.

[hesolved]

📲 ; 📞 ; 💌 ; 📹 ( I am sorry but I want it ALL xD )

📲

[ 📱 — sms ] stu you’ve always been better at texting than i have so i’ll try to make this fit your guidelines of ‘short and sweet’. i wish i had the time to do this properly but i don’t. i’m probably gonna die. [ 📱 — sms ] i bet that’s the last text you want to wake up to but you’re the one always telling me i should be more honest with you and i don’t want the last texts i ever send to be filled with lies so here we are[ 📱 — sms ] don’t be angry. don’t make a mess of your life by doing something stupid like trying to avenge me. you might want to be an avenger but that’s a dangerous gig and i think i’ve attracted enough danger for the both of us[ 📱 — sms ] you’re the best brother i could have ever asked for and i’m really sorry i couldn’t be in your life longer. i’m really sorry i wasn’t half as good of a brother as you were to me. [ 📱 — sms ] i love ya stu and i don’t really know what comes after death but i’d like to think that i’ll still be with you somehow, living on in your heart[ 📱 — sms ] live a long life for me, won’t you? live enough for the both of us. [ 📱 — sms ] thanks for always believing in me ❤️ sorry i let you down this time

📞

Hands tremble, he can barely hold the phone steady when it goes to voicemail. He considers just hanging up. He can’t do that to Stu. Voice wavers, ❝ i have some bad news. i’m about to do something that’s really dangerous and probably really stupid but a lot of people will die if i don’t. problem is, i might die if i do it. but hey, there’s always a trade off for things in life, right ? i keep thinking that i should be grateful that i’ve even made it this far, that i’ve managed to live this long with all the shit that we’ve dealt with. i thought tricking myself into believing that would make this easier. it doesn’t. i’ve never been more scared in my life, i hate not knowing what comes after. does heaven and hell exist ? am i gonna go to hell ? was i good person ? none of that really matters though. it doesn’t change the fact of what’s about to happen. i’m just rambling because i’m not ready to say goodbye to you, stuart. that’s the last thing i want to do and saying it makes it feel real and i’m not ready for it to be real yet. it was always supposed to be me and you against the world. if i somehow manage to live through this we’ve gotta have a day like when we were kids again. i gotta say though, i’m really wishing i had some of that older brother wisdom you always claim to have so much of, i could really use it right about now. no matter what happens tonight, whether i come back or not, don’t give up on the internship, don’t stay home for dad. dad’ll be fine. he’ll still have you. so you’ve gotta stay alive, alright ? stay out of everything that goes down in beacon hills. if you don’t i’ll come back and haunt you and that just sounds exhausting for the both of us. i love you stu, you’re my best friend. you always have been. and even if it’s not for much longer, you will be for the rest of my life.  i was lucky to have you. ❞

💌

Przemysław,

I’ve always thought that letters seemed so formal, so when I decided that I was gonna sit down and write one, I figured I’d do it right. I’m sure by now you’re worried, this is weird, people don’t write letters these days unless it’s something bad. I guess my situation could be pretty easily categorized as ‘something bad’. But I don’t want to talk about that. It can be summarized down to the fact that this is probably the last day of my life. It sounds so dramatic putting it that way, doesn’t it? Still, that’s not what matters. What matters is you. There’s some things I need to tell you before I’m gone, some things you need to be reminded of. I noticed something off about you as soon as you were bitten. You hid it well, I didn’t figure out what was different about you until you told me, just that something was off. Before I knew the truth and you were pushing me away, I thought I was losing my brother and it destroyed me. I remember being so glad when I found out you were just a werewolf, and it wasn’t because you hated me. The point I’m trying to make here is that even if you hate that side of yourself, I never have. I’m sure what I think doesn’t really matter in the long run but maybe it will. So it’s worth a try. You’re not a monster. You never have been. You never will be. I know that easy for me to say, I wasn’t the one bitten but being turned might have changed what you were but it didn’t change WHO you were. Who you are. You’re still Stu. You’re still my brother. You’re still the crazy smart, sarcastic, nerd that I know and love. That’s something that’s never gonna change. I know there’s a lot I should apologize for, a lot of things I should have apologized for in the past and I wish there was enough time to list everything in this letter. But I’ve done a lot of wrong in my life, a lot of things I feel guilty for or that I regret. So I want to make sure that I do this right and I don’t think you’d want me to spend my last moments apologizing for everything. So I’ll leave it at I’m sorry. You know me well enough to know what it’s for. You’ve always seemed to know what I was gonna do before I did it, so when you read this, you probably won’t be surprised at the choices I’ve made. No one is happy about me doing this but they’ve always been so hopeful, I don’t think any of them really think that I’m gonna die. But one of us needs to be realistic and as much as I hate goodbyes, I have to say them. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Stu and I am so so sorry that you’ll have to live yours without me in it. But you’ve got so much going for you, you don’t need me. You never have. You’ve always been the better Stilinski, we all know it. And since I’m on my deathbed, I guess I’ll finally admit that yeah, Spider-Man is pretty fucking cool and Marvel might be better than DC. Might. By the way, I don’t want you to throw a big funeral or something, just put me next to Mom. You don’t need to bring flowers to my grave, they’ll just get stolen. Keep an eye on the pack for me, won’t you? I love them, but they can be a bit hopeless sometimes. Don’t get sucked into anything though. Live your life while you still can, see the world, make some friends at Google, fall in love. I wish I could be your Best Man at you future wedding but since I can’t be I thought I’d let you know that you were always going to be mine. Not Scott. You. I’m running out of room to write so I’ve gotta finish this up, live the best life you can, Stuart. I know you’ll do great things. 

-With love, Mischief. 

📹

Stiles fidgeted with the camera, pressing buttons that looked like the ones he should be hitting.  ❝ god how the hell do you work this thing ? ❞ The words are accompanied by an annoyed groan, before he steps back into the frame. Stiles closes his eyes, inhales, exhales, and opens them once more. ❝ I don’t know how to start this, when I decided to make a video I didn’t really think it through this far if I’m being honest. I probably should have written some type of script or at least bullet points but I didn’t exactly have the time. Even if I had the time I probably still wouldn’t have done it. ❞ He bites his lip and looks down, he had known this wasn’t going to be easy but it’s so much harder than he thought it would be. A shaky breath leaves his lips, ❝ Stu, do you remember how everything changed after Mom died ? I remember it all happening so fast. Even though I was there when she… ❞ He trailed off, holding back a sob, ❝ For me it didn’t feel like it was real, it didn’t really sink in until later. I remember waking up one day and going downstairs, I was so excited because I wanted to tell her all about something that had happened and when I got down there she wasn’t sitting at her usual spot at the table and that’s when it all hit me. Then dad started drinking and it became obvious that nothing was gonna be the same anymore. But that period of time where everything felt like some type of nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from, that’s kinda how I feel right now. I know what’s about to happen but it doesn’t feel real. It’s like it hasn’t hit me yet. I feel like I should be scared but I’m not, I don’t really know what I’m feeling. What are you even supposed to feel when you’re about to die ? ❞ Stiles ran a hand through his hair, pushing the air out of his lungs with another heavy sigh, ❝ So yeah, if you haven’t figured it out already, things are about to change again. Like how they did with mom. It’s just that this time, I won’t be there to watch the changes with you. I need you to keep an eye on Dad for me, make sure he doesn’t start drinking again. Make sure he’s eating healthy. He hates salad but it’s good for him and he needs to be around for a lot longer. If he’s mad, let him be. He’ll get it out of his system eventually. I’m really worried about him. I’m really worried about you too, Stuart. I hope you don’t hate me after this but if you do, I understand. And I know you’re gonna think it so I’m gonna stop that from happening right now, this isn’t your fault. It shouldn’t be you instead of me. I’ve always kinda thought the idea of fate was bullshit but I think that in some weird way, this was meant to happen. This was how I was supposed to go. I’m not a hero. I’ll never claim to be one. But if me dying means that everyone else gets to live then I’m happy. ❞ He laughs dryly and the corners of his lips twitch, ❝ As happy as you can be when you’re walking into certain death at least. But hey, I’ve died once before already. I’ve got nothing to be afraid of, I know what’s it like. I doubt there’s too many other people that can say that. ❞ Stiles looks up to the camera, sniffling and blinking tears away, ❝ This morning you asked me why I hugged you before I left and why I hugged you so tightly. I guess now you know why. I wanted your last memory of me to be a good one. I wanted my last memory of you to be something that made me smile when I thought about it. When it happens, when I die, my goal is to think about that night when we were kids and we watched Star Wars for the first time. That way even if dying is painful and terrible and just sucks overall, I can go out happy. So thank you, Stu. For giving me something to hold onto, for being my best friend, for putting up with me for all of these years. I wouldn’t have wanted to be anyone else’s doppelgänger. ❞ Stiles offers a weak smile as he wipes the tears from his eyes, ❝ It’s been a good life. I love you. ❞ 

The video cuts to black and silence settles in, carrying with it the weight of a life cut short.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol. 1 #107

Sat April 7 2018 [00:42:57] <Wackd> Folks, a big hand for our regular artist for the next three years, Mr. John Buscema! [00:43:41] <maxwellelvis> This is actually a good reason to cheer. [00:44:21] <Wackd> So! First order of business--get all this fucking ice out of here. [00:44:22] <Bocaj> Woo John Buscema! [00:44:27] <Bocaj> You're better than some other johns [00:44:34] <maxwellelvis> He is a DAMN FINE artist http://static.flickr.com/2700/4325639064_d49953295d_b.jpg [00:45:04] <Wackd> well uh he DID give iron man a creepy human face [00:45:08] <Wackd> so let's not overstate things [00:46:13] <Wackd> So Johnny has to basically insta-evaporate the ice as soon as it melts back to water, so that no water touches any wires. [00:46:41] <Wackd> Clearly throwing fire at it is the best way to accomplish this and this is all perfectly safe. [00:48:33] <Wackd> The procedure works! [00:48:52] <Wackd> And now Ben can switch between being the Thing and being human at will! [00:49:34] <Wackd> (Reed says this is something Ben "didn't expect", but for the record, this is something that was mentioned two issues ago.) [00:50:27] <Wackd> Right now, it takes Ben strain and effort to transform, but Reed assures him it'll get easier with time. [00:53:18] <Wackd> GOD i just want these two idiots to be happy without falling into a pit of mutual self-loathing

[00:54:31] <Bocaj> Damn't alicia [00:54:47] <Wackd> like, i think this is why i ship them so hard, is because seeing them work through their issues and be happy together would be SO SATISFYING [00:55:13] <Wackd> i dunno how i'm gonna feel about the, like, three other love interests ben is gonna have at some point [00:55:22] <maxwellelvis> I think this is like, the first of at least TWO times in the 70's where Ben is human briefly. [00:55:58] <maxwellelvis> Well they try to redo the two-person pity-party ping-pong with Sharon Ventura, but not nearly as deftly, I think. [00:56:41] <Wackd> We'll get to that when we get to that. [00:57:15] <Wackd> So anyway Johnny sees Ben and Alicia happy and immediately starts angsting about Crystal. [00:57:47] <Wackd> "Not a single word from her--since she rejoined the Inhumans!" Johnny. Buddy. That happened EARLIER TODAY. [00:58:07] <Wackd> I'm pretty sure Sue didn't even know this was a thing that happened until you said that, that's how recent this was. [01:01:38] <Wackd> So Johnny's sulking transitions into how he's the youngest and no one takes him seriously and so on and so on. [01:02:07] <Wackd> Which okay fine but Johnny, right now you're angsting that your girlfriend left you because she was in mortal peril, and hasn't called you since she left like an hour ago. [01:02:16] <Wackd> That--that's kinda hard to take seriously! [01:02:49] <maxwellelvis> Not to mention worrying, because the last time you got like this, you nearly committed a war crime. [01:02:57] <Wackd> Also true! [01:02:58] <Bocaj> Oh right [01:05:05] <Wackd> hahaha ok sure sue

[01:05:10] <Bocaj> Look, who hasn't committed a war crime in the throes of passion? [01:05:20] <Bocaj> I haven't but I assume that at least three out of five people have [01:06:07] <Bocaj> I'm constantly surprised that Reed/Sue is the one marvel marriage that has stood the test of time [01:06:15] <Bocaj> I know the doylistic reasons why [01:06:18] <maxwellelvis> And I'm pretty sure if he tried to pull that a second time, the others might not FEEL like pulling your bacon out of the frying pan. [01:06:20] <Bocaj> But I'm still constantly shocked [01:07:01] <Wackd> Okay so I wanna make it absolutely clear, Sue's talking a load of bullshit, and this "bad temperedness" has only been happening the last, like, page or so.

[01:07:31] <Wackd> The Four haven't gotten along any better or worse than usual in the past few issues, give or take Johnny, again, nearly committing a war crime. [01:08:35] <Wackd> Sue contemplates a temporary separation but says that being apart from Reed would be more than she could bare, and therefore she can sympathize with Johnny. [01:08:46] <Wackd> Johnny is busy burning Crystal's name into the roof of a water tower. [01:09:35] <Bocaj> Have we seen hatemonger yet? [01:10:08] <maxwellelvis> Yes. [01:10:08] <maxwellelvis> That was ages ago. [01:10:10] <Wackd> Yeah. [01:10:29] <Bocaj> Is it perhaps Hatemonger or Hatemonger's sidekick Irritationmonger? [01:10:48] <maxwellelvis> I still commend Kirby for the whole idea of making him Hitler dressed as an Inquisitor. [01:10:56] <maxwellelvis> Makes it absolutely sure no one would sympathize with him. [01:11:23] <Wackd> https://f4liveblogarchives.tumblr.com/post/171641387078/fantastic-four-vol-1-21 [01:11:26] <maxwellelvis> I think at this time, the Hate-Monger who would next return would actually be the Man-Beast in disguise, and operating a cult. [01:11:36] <maxwellelvis> Using Brother Sun and Sister Moon as his puppets. [01:11:49] <maxwellelvis> (Can you tell that this plot came when the Moonies were in the news?) [01:11:56] <Wackd> Turns out Ben with these new powers is a real jerk. [01:12:14] <Bocaj> Dammit ben [01:12:18] <Wackd> First he turns into the Thing in the middle of a crowded train to freak people out. Alicia doesn't like it. [01:12:34] <Bocaj> Wait he was a jerk without the new powers too [01:12:46] <Wackd> Then he lays flat some hijackers, and then wakes them up so he can wail on them more. [01:12:53] <Wackd> Alicia REALLY doesn't like it. [01:13:06] <maxwellelvis> I'm assuming the later period where he loses his powers entirely and uses a Thing-shaped suit of power armor he's less of a jerk. [01:13:39] <Bocaj> It could look like anything so why did he choose a thing shaped suit [01:14:02] <maxwellelvis> Because the duality of Ben: He doesn't want to be the Thing, but he also feels weird NOT being the Thing [01:14:13] <Wackd> aw jeez poor alicia

[01:14:51] <Bocaj> Dammit ben [01:14:54] <maxwellelvis> Okay, NOW I can believe something's messing with their emotions. [01:15:04] <Wackd> Oh yeah, absolutely. [01:15:32] <maxwellelvis> Something is slowly but surely magnifying their negative traits. [01:15:35] <Wackd> Though I do know the Reed/Sue split is coming so I was half-betting on it happening here. What with Sue saying maybe it'd be good for them to split up for a bit. [01:15:57] <Wackd> But nah, Ben hurting Alicia seals it. Emotion fuckery is happening. [01:16:19] <maxwellelvis> Reed's even more distant than usual, Sue's taking it in less and less stride, Johnny's even MORE pining for Crystal than usual, and Ben is so angry he's taking it out on everyone around him. [01:17:10] <maxwellelvis> This isn't DC, so we can cross Psycho Pirate off the list of suspects. [01:17:51] <Wackd> So, another bit of timeline fuckery brought on by me trying to corral all the Kirby stuff to one side. [01:18:27] <Wackd> We here get our introduction to Janus, who lets himself into Reed's lab, shoots Reed, and lets himself into the Negative Zone. [01:19:08] <Wackd> Next issue, Janus will be revealed to have, like, some kind of second personality or something? And then he'll let Annihilus into our world in issue 109. [01:19:31] <Wackd> Anyway. [01:20:33] <Wackd> We also get a brief Sue interlude where she visits Franklin. She tries to sneak up on him invisibly, but he spots her. [01:20:44] <Wackd> Despite her insistence that she didn't make a sound. [01:21:16] <Wackd> It's weird to me that the craft she took to get there was running silent--though weirder things have happened--but it certainly wasn't invisible. [01:22:06] <Wackd> Anyway, Ben and Johnny get into one of their usual fights, but much angrier than usual. Reed breaks it up so they can solve the Janus problem. [01:22:37] <Wackd> And cliffhanger. [01:22:48] <maxwellelvis> Janus is using his negative powers to- D'OH!I I called it and I didn't even realize it. [01:23:01] <maxwellelvis> I honestly forgot Janus was a thing, and that we were coming up to him again. [01:23:04] <Wackd> I mean. [01:23:07] <Wackd> It's possible? [01:23:09] <Wackd> I dunno. [01:23:25] <maxwellelvis> How defined was his negative powers in the Kirby version? [01:24:22] <Wackd> He mostly had the power to change the world to his whim in physical ways. I don't remember him changing emotions. [01:24:31] <Wackd> I did look at the real 108 already--that hasn't changed. [01:24:40] <maxwellelvis> Ah [01:24:43] <Wackd> But I wouldn't put it past Stan to pull something like that out of his ass. [01:25:05] <maxwellelvis> That one just had Janus in it, no Annihilus, right? [01:25:22] <Wackd> Yeah. [01:25:35] <maxwellelvis> Ah. [01:26:05] <maxwellelvis> Also, I want to put it out there, Janus is very forgettable as a villain. [01:26:07] <maxwellelvis> Visually at least. [01:28:36] <Wackd> Huh. He didn't reappear at all until 2001. [01:28:42] <maxwellelvis> Y'see? [01:28:51] <maxwellelvis> He's just a guy with a bad haircut and a worst costume. [01:28:56] <Wackd> Yeah. [01:28:58] <maxwellelvis> Or the other way around. [01:29:23] <maxwellelvis> And it looks like in the story to come, he doesn't realize how short his arms are. [01:29:35] <Wackd> Literally the only interesting thing about him is that he's Kirby's last Four villain, and circumstances have made it so that makes him LESS appealing.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

This post is full of misinformed, misinterpreted and out of context shit.

·         There is NO hard canonical timeline for Peter’s ages for when he began acting as a hero. At best sources stating he was 15 upon getting his powers and ASm #400’s backup strip claiming that he was 16 the night he caught the burglar is how you can arrive at the conclusion he aged into being 16 by the time he began acting as a hero. But it’s vague as fuck and both 15 and 16 are retcons. Originally Peter was written to be a senior in the Ditko run. However it makes more sense if Peter was 15 both when he got his powers and when he began acting as a hero as Mysterio (debuting in ASM #13) claimed in ASM #24 that he’s hated Spider-Man for years implying at least 2 years elapsed between that issue and his debut

·         Spider-Man circa the time this post was written was not 30 years old. He was actually older than that if you do the math properly. Do not be fooled by Learning to Crawl’s assertion he was merely 28 circa 2014 he was actually 30 years old circa OMD in 2007. So no he has egregiously more than 14 years worth of experience.

·         The list of characters Peter’s been active longer than is highly flawed due to the inclusion of Captain America, the Guardians and Jessica Jones.

Whilst the essential sentiment is accurate it’s misleading because Jessica Jones first appearance was not when she canonically began to be active in the silver age (the 1960s). Captain America of course was active in WWII and then put on ice until the early days of the Marvel Age where the F4 debuted meaning he was most experienced by like decades ahead of Spider-Man. And the Guardians debut date listed is in reference to the ORIGINAL Guardians of the Galaxy. These Guardians were not Gamora, Star-Lord, Groot, etc. These were a group of heroes from the far future of an alternate marvel universe.

So great research there.

·         The post states that 5 years real time = 1 year for the MU. Actually it’s 4 OR 5 and more commonly 4

·         Yes Spider-Man was indeed widely disliked by most heroes but the OP idiotically claims it was because he was a jerk.

 No. It was because Jameson slandered his name. Spider-Man’s jerkish behaviour was the result of three major factors.

Firstly it was the fact that many heroes outright disrespected him. for instance the Avengers not only insulted him verbally and antagonized him but they had the audacity to try and test his worthiness to join their team after only recently accepting former criminals Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch and Hawkeye onto their team. As a reminder the former two were affiliated with mutant terrorist Magneto and the latter with Communist spy Black Widow. None of them were ever tested, the Maximoffs just wrote a letter asking to join and that was it.

Secondly in the Silver and Bronze age ALL heroes in Marvel were jerks to one another. It was a conscious effort to differentiate themselves from DC. It isn’t something to be taken too seriously.

Thirdly Peter was well beyond most other heroes straining under immense pressures which would serve to make ANYONE uptight. These were pressures most other heroes simply never dealt with.

·         The OP claims Peter picked fights to prove how tough and manly he was. This is not only ignorant of 1960s societal standards for the time but is also an overly comdemnatory reading of the character

See these for more on that

https://hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger.tumblr.com/post/163322233001/in-a-recent-exchange-i-had-with-somebody-they

https://hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger.tumblr.com/post/168252199132/fyeahspiderverse-ask-me-ask-me-ask#notes

This poster takes an oversimplified and highly pretentious sociological approach to the character that is ignorant of the character’s proper in context psychology or how many real life people would think, feel or act.

Noticably (and this is much later on in the post) she talks about the character revelling in violence when MOST superheroes are just like that and more poignantly the ‘revelling’ involved is a character harming objectively evil people the overwhelming majority of the time.

He gets brutal in the course of a brutal life dealing with brutal people doing horribly brutal things.

Does he lose his temper from time to time?

Yeah...but EVERY PERSON ON EARTH DOES THAT...and most people on Earth are not coping with the insane levels of personal stress being placed upon Spider-Man.

The OP I am willing to bet does not deal with anything CLOSE to the amount of horrible experiences and stresses Spider-Man himself does.

·         The OP paints Peter is a disgustingly negative light. Listing how he is oudmouthed, proud, independent, stubborn, touchy, cocky, judgmental, and he has one hell of a temper that he typically can barely keep under control. He has a firm sense of justice, of what’s right and what’s wrong, and if he’s made up his mind, he will not budge.

This is BS because not only are there numerous instances of Peter having his mind changed but Peter being ‘touchy’ is usually owed a fuckton more to the situations he finds himself in and the stresses he’s coping with. FFS Peter for the first 18 years of his life has no friends and was bullied and ostracised. OF COURSE HE’D BE TOUCHY!

Similarly his’ barely controllable temper’ was a feature more during the silver and bronze age when writing standards for many superheroes was very different from what it’d later evolve into and the character was a lot younger too.

YES Peter has had moments where his temper breaks in later stories but they were situational.

But what’s gross about the OP is that she lists of all this stuff as part of Peter’s personality and then lists nothing else.

Nothing else.

Peter’s kindness?

Peter’s sense of loyalty?

Peter’s sense of you know...responsibility?

Peter’s sheer decency?

Peter’s ‘never say die’ attitude?

Peter’s sense of humour?

Peter’s fondness for learning?

Peter NOT being as judgemental as the OP is grossly pretending he is considering he never once held Flash Thompson once assaulting his girlfriend, Betty cheating on her husband or many other bad things his friends have done against them?

Which showcases an incredibly forgiving nature to the character.

·         The OP claims Spider-Man REVELS in violence and loves fighting.

No Spider-Man loves blowing off steam with action which MOST superheroes do. It’s not a Peter thing it’s a genre convention thing and needs to be properly looked at WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF THE GENRE CONVENTIONS of the series and Marvel in general.

Does Spider-Man love beating up bad guys?

I think he certainly gets a certain thrill out of it, but he rarely seriously injures them unless the situation is serious or else he’s been pushed hard.

In the 1980s the violence Peter was witnessing in various street crimes actually served to seriously affect him and he wanted to quit.

Shit he’s wanted to quit COUNTLESS times and it’s his sense of responsibility that keeps him in the game.

That is NOT someone who just ‘loves’ fighting or ‘revels’ in violence.

·         “He punches first and asks questions much, much later. ”

Again bullshit. Not only have there been instances where Spidey has asked questions first but this interpretation of Spider-Man is extremely flawed not only because it doesn’t properly contextualize genre conventions of the superhero genre (Daredevil and Batman are as ‘guilty’ of this as Spider-Man) but also because 99% of the crimes Spider-Man ‘punches first’ he catches red handed in the middle of the act.

He doesn’t need to ask questions if he sees someone in a ski mask with a gun holding up someone screaming in an alleyway.

He doesn’t need to ask questions when he sees what is obviously a bank robbery in progress.

He doesn’t need to ask questions first if the Rhino is rampaging in Times Square.

It’s OBVIOUS what is happening so his immediate intervention is neccesarry.

·          The OP claims Spidey “goes out every night LOOKING for people to beat to a bloody pulp. It’s like his therapy, where he works out his many anger issues (I could write a whole essay on where those come from).”

First of all the OP couldn’t write a whole essay on where Spider-Man’s anger issues come from since she patently misunderstands Spider-Man.

Secondly beating up criminals isn’t Spider-Man’s ‘therepy’ it’s Spider-Man’s way of helping people by reducing the crime rate and protecting innocent civilians.

See ASm #50 where he retires briefly and crime rates spike.

See ASm #500 where he chooses to not prevent his younger self from becoming Spider-Man due to how many people wouldn’t be saved by him.

See EVERY SPIDER-MAN STORY EVER!

Spider-Man doesn’t go out every night looking to beat people to a bloody pulp.

I’m a Liberal and even I think that’s overliberalized bullshit.

If you actually pay attention Spider-Man rarely draws blood when going out on patrol let alone causes any serious physical trauma whatsoever.

More importantly going out on patrol looking for ‘people to beat up’ isn’t his fucking hobby. That’s him using his powers to help people by fighting crime...like the kind that got his Uncle Ben killed perhaps. Fucking idiot.

  ·         “He is not afraid of the unsuperpowered criminals he hunts down because they literally CANNOT LAY A FINGER ON HIM AND HE KNOWS IT AND ALWAYS HAS.”

Yeah.

Remember all those times ‘unsuperpowered criminals’ like the Kingpin or the Enforcers or the Foreigner or Captain fucking America never hit him once?

·         “The criminals are terrified of HIM. ”

Some are, some are not.

He isn’t Batman, it’s more they know they have little chance of avoiding capture if Spider-Man’s there. They aren’t actually afraid of him in the way the term ‘terrified’ implies.

They are afraid of him the way they are afraid of Superman. They know Superman isn’t going to hurt them much if at all but they know they’re in for jail if they cross him.

·         “He is unstoppable when he’s angry.”

Is that why Daredevil was able to defeat him in the Death of Jean DeWolff when he was angry?

·         OP uses Peter complaining how normal crooks are boring as an example of Spider-Man inherent personality and as an example to again paint him in a negative light.

This is BS because the issue is premeditated upon building up his pride before Doc Ock kicks his ass and humbles him.

He rarely if ever displays that kind of attitude towards regular criminals again.

This is also a TEENAGER displaying TEENAGE pride. There is nothing damning about that.

Oh but the character must’ve just inherently been that forever more obviously.

·         OP uses Untold Tales #13 as an example of how ‘toxically violent’ Spider-Man is.

Again ignores context.

Spider-Man is a teenager who recently lost his Dad who’s school peer who was his own age violently died very recently and so he was grieving and lashing out.

I knew kids who were children of divorce who lashed out.

That was cause for understanding by my teachers and fellow students.

Peter was dealing with worse but he’s painted negatively and as though this is something inherent to him in this very extenuating circumstance. And he’s comdened by the OP for it. Gross.

Also the OP pretends Spider-Man almost killed the villain in question. He didn’t there is no indication of that. Spidey used too much force after he’d already won but he was never implied to be inflicting any really serious physical trauma.

·         The most disgusting thing in the post so far, OP tries to pretend there is a problematic and inherent ‘pattern’ of Peter’s violence by citing how Peter almost killed Norman Osborn after Gwen died.

First of all there was no pattern because Peter didn’t almost kill the Untold Tales villain.

Second of all Peter was DELIBERATELY trying to muder the Green Goblin.

Third of all both instances involve Peter grieving.

Fourth of all the GG incident was when his almost fiancée had just been MURDERED before his eyes by the target of his anger.

Literally ANYONE would’ve felt the same way Peter did.

The OP treats people becoming violently angry against objectively evil people when they have or are very seriously threatening to do horrific things (like murdering innocent people, particularly those Spider-Man has an emotional investment in)  as ‘problematic’.

It’s problematic in so far as we shouldn’t ALLOW people in society to go around doing that.

It isn’t problematic in so far as it speaks to inherent negative traits within those people who want to or actually do do those things.

Because let’s not lie to ourselves here.

If someone murdered someone you loved...you’d be angry. You’d want to hurt them. And if they were right in front of you shortly after they’d murdered your loved one and you could you’d inflict pain upon them.

Real talk every parent ever would agree if they’re child was hurt or god forbid abused or murdered they’d want to kill the person who did that.

And the OP disgustingly ignores how Peter DIDN’T kill the Goblin and acknowledged how he almost crossed a serious line having already gone too far.

·         OP brings up ANOTHER instance where Spider-Man gets angry and violent to again unsubtley imply it’s so problematic.

Yes in this instance Spider-Man used force unnecessarily whilst angry.

He however inflicted no lasting damage and the person he used it on had just murdered an innocent man who had a family.

·         “ASM #177, where, as you can see, he’s downright contemptuous of other people’s attempts to harm him”

 Contemptuous was an interpretation of the OP, not something hardcore without a doubt the emotion Spider-Man was going with.

Frankly in the panels showcased i’d say Spidey was more surprised and mocking towards the guy who was again...a huge asshole.

He believed it was his friend Harry who was from Peter’s POV betraying his friendship, had tried to harma dn murder him, Aunt May, Flash and MJ in the past, had hospitalized MJ and at that PARTICULAR moment in the story was wasting Peter’s time as Aunt May’s life was hanging in the balance.

So yes Spider-Man mocked him and hit him.

Shockingly you are allowed to hit people sometimes FFS.

Oh and btw the issue number wasn’t even correct.

·         OP uses ASM #189 to further support their case. This is one example where I WOULD agree that the panels legitimately support the agenda they are trying to push.

The problem is that the panels are also OOC.

Spider-Man had never to my recollection ever acted this was towards a doctor before and only particular situations had served to spur him to act this way.

This was part of the Marv Wolfman run where to be brutally honest there was more than a little OOC writing of many characters and an over all regressive approach to Spider-man in particular.

He’s MORE rash and MORE aggressive and MORE of a jerk than he’d been in a long ass time even under Stan Lee’s tenure.

And this made sense because Wolfman pretentiously regarded himself as a Ditko ‘purist’ who believed Spider-Man should never have left high school. And so he wrote Spider-Man in a regressive way to the point where often times, like in the referenced panel from ASM #189 he acted in ways that didn’t make sense for a 22 year old written for 1979 standards vs a teenager written for 1963 standards.

Further proof can be observed in how his writing for Mary jane in her rejection of Peter’s proposal played as though she never developed from the silver age onwards.

·         “ASM #193 – this is VERY 616 Peter. He’s frustrated with his personal life, so he decides to take it out (violently) on a bad guy:”

Again...Wolfman’s run, but in this case he is not doing anything particularly wrong within the genre and societal conventions of the time.

Genre conventions dictated that in superhero comic book land hitting criminals is 100% okay because they are bad guys.

Therefore since Spider-Man does that anyway, venting his frustrations into something productive is also okay.

Societal conventions dictated that this was the late 1970s and early 1980s...in New York.

70s and 80s New York was ROUGH and had problems with street crime that got more violent into the 1980s, at least according to the media.

You know how in the Daredevil Netflix show they said because of the Battle of New York Hell’s Kitchen had gone downhill?

That was because they were trying to justify modern day Hell’s Kitchen resembling the kind of dark crime ridden place it was in the 70s and 80s at the height of Daredevil’s popularity.

NYC was ROUGH and that was attributed a lot to crime and so a crime fighter like Spider-Man getting rough would’ve been regarded as fine as would him doing it to vent anger.

The angrier he gets the more criminals he beats up meaning the more go to jail meaning the streets are safer. So all the better.

That was the logic of the time period.

Remember this was the decade that spawned DIRTY HARRY!

This was a decade where Vietnam wrapped up in abject failure and Watergate broke out. People were fucking angry and disillusioned.

And to add further context Marv Wolfman wrote Superman in the 1980s post-crisis era as getting rough with criminals too because Wolfman was a child of the era where both superheroes and crime/gangster stories involved that sort of mentality. His Superman was the Golden Age one who got rough a lot and it was seen as fine because criminals were bad and therefore deserved it.

Now bear all that shit in mind when reading ASM #189...where Spider-Man in hunting down a dangerous super villain who could endure blows from him and whom he’d need to find and stop anyway...whilst he’s coping with Aunt May being in a nursing home, his relationship with MJ whom he is in love with disintegrating, his relationship with Betty also disintegrating and having just taken a punch to the jaw from Ned Leeds his old rival.

YOU CANNOT REMOVE SHIT FROM THE CONTEXT OF THE TIMES THEY WERE CREATED IN!

·         More of OP being a disgenuous jerk by pretending Spider-Man losing his temper in confronting the man who murdered Uncle Ben is problematic.

“…notice how a mask seems pretty unnecessary here, despite the fact that his opponent is armed. Peter doesn’t even hesitate. He is out for blood.”

A)     The Burglar was not initially unarmed he lost his gun in the scuffle depicted in the panels from the OP

B)      Real talk...who WOULDN’T lose their temper confronting the guy who MURDERED THEIR DAD to the point where they’d come close to seriously injuring them?

C)      Peter believed Aunt May had recently DIED and that it was at least partially his fault

D)     The OP conveniently neglects that the Burglar was threatening Spider-Man with a gun a panel before Peter attacked him and that Spider-Man doesn’t have his powers in this instance. In other words shortly after his mother figure’s death an unarmed and helpless Peter Parker was confronted by an armed known killer who killed his father figure in cold blood and was threatening his life. And he’s ‘problematic’ for assaulting him angrily and threatening to kill him. Can you spell ‘self’defence’?

OP is also disingenuous because she paints Spider-Man’s rage and scary demanor as the fault of the Burglar’s death when it was just the Burglar working himself up.

Spider-Man made it explicitly clear he was NOT going to kill or maim the Burglar but the Burglar was just too worked up and had a heart attack.

·         OP brings up Spec v2 #10 where Spider-Man is beating the shit out of Doc Ock....but conveniently doesn’t include the panels prior to that incident where Doc Ock pointlessly murdered an innocent police officer violently and then threatened to murder someone everyday for a year...after he nearly deliberately instigated a war between Israel and Palestine!  I am NOT making that up Doc Ock nearly set off a war between Israel and Palestine just to force Spider-Man into revealing his secret identity

FFS is Spider-man REALLY this violence revelling brute for punching the shit out of him for that!

Doc Ock took an innocent life, threatened to take more and was willing to risk MILLIONS of people dying in a war that could’ve lasted years because of his own stupid ego and obsession.

Like fuck dude WAR CRIMINALS have been executed for less than that but SPIDER-MAN is a violence addict because he punched Doc Ock a bit and humiliated him?

Look real talk Spidey making Doc Ock ‘ask him nicely’ was OOC (the OP doesn’t seem to realize such a thing could ever possibly happen) but even if it wasn’t it doesn’t prove the OP’s point because the CONTEXT OF THE SITUATION MATTERS.

·         “ASM #522, where he loses his temper and throws Wolverine out of a window:”

Yes.

First thing in the morning after he’s been woken up abruptly by the worrying and mind boggling news that his wife has been sleeping with Tony Stark the guy who’s been insulting him on and off for awhile and who is now very directly insulting his pride and his beloved, long suffering wife (who’s lived through hell for him and has saved his life a million times too).

And he does the equivalent of punching the guy.

How ‘problematic’ and ‘toxic’ that must be.

Gimme a break.

Also remember Spider-Man doesn’t normally randomly punch people, even those who insult him despite the bullshit picture the OP is trying to paint.

·         “ASM #539, the first issue in the “Back in Black” arc where Aunt May is shot on Kingpin’s orders, and Peter PUNCHES, INTIMIDATES, AND THREATENS HIS WAY THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD trying to figure out who was responsible. I would recommend reading this arc for a good look at Peter when he’s beyond furious”

OP disingenuously pretending that Peter when he is beyond furious is Spider-Man’s default setting as opposed to Spider-Man under extenuating and/or exceptional circumstances.

You know like when someone has shot his mother who is now dying and might pose a threat to yet more of his friends and family!

Like FUCK how are you so dense as to not properly contextualize shit.

·         “Notice, again, the lack of a mask. Peter’s not even slightly frightened by the thought of diving into a room FULL of criminals armed with machine guns where he’s outnumbered by what looks like about 7 to 1.”

OP seemingly conveniently ignoring that in Back In Black (the story being referenced here) Spider-Man identity was public so it doesn’t matter that he didn’t have his mask

·         “I find these panels more telling than Peter vs. Norman in #122 – in that one, Peter lost his temper momentarily but quickly snapped out of it and realized he didn’t have it in him to commit murder. Here, he’s completely cool. He genuinely plans to murder Kingpin. He’s thought about it. He wants to do it. He will do it without a moment’s hesitation if the need arises, if that’s what it takes to protect his family – that’s what 616 Peter does. He protects everyone around him. He takes the punishment they cannot.”

I find this part the most mind boggling of all because the OP’s statements here are not untrue but also make no sense in her characterization of Peter as toxic.

·         “I could keep going with this all day, because this is who he is in the comics, but I’ll stop there. ”

Again no.

This is who Peter is at TIMES in the comics under certain circumstances and at particular points in his history. That isn’t what he is like at his regular default setting when horrible or seriously stressful or emotionally triggering things are not happening to him.

He ISN’T like this for instance in the Digger arc of JMS’ run.

He ISN’T like this in ASM #301

He ISN’T like this in ASM #41

He ISN’T like this in the Kid Who Collected Spider-Man

·         “Does this angry, vengeful man who REVELS in violence really seem like he’s scared of, I don’t know, ANYONE? Don’t let the jokes fool you. Peter’s not someone you want to make angry. He is terrifying when he’s angry.”

Again OP speaks bullshit because

a)      Peter doesn’t revel in violence. That’d inply real enjoyment. He at worst vents using it

b)      Peter isn’t scared of anyone huh?

 Sister let me introduce you to Spider-Man’s ex...and her new man.

Their shipper name...is Venom....