#this ask was sent on July 15 and it’s now August 5 oh my go

[kashimos-hajime]

dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries. 

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker​ and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky​ with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too. 

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

.

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever? 

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas! 

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone” and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

.

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it’d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

.

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

[ladycumhangabhainn]

Dans un autre monde - Chapter 10

Previously

  I was coming to the end of my story, how Jamie had gotten me and Faith to Craigh na Dun when the entrance door came bursting open and the sound of Faith, Brianna and Roger’s crying filled the Rectory.

 “Mama!” shouted my youngest.

 “Bree, darling, what’s the matter?”

 “Roger, lad, why are ye all crying?”

 At the grand old age of 9, Roger wasn’t known to cry for nothing, so something must have happened. Before the sweet lad could answer, the younger Mrs Graham came in, carrying her own daughter Fiona.

 “Reverend, Miss Beauchamp, I think yer lad and lassies might have some ear infection... We were having a picnic, then they started complaining about their ears...”

 “Mama, they scweamed!” sobbed Faith. “They were so loud, mama!”

 I frowned. “What was so loud? Roger, what is she talking about?”

 “The sound, auntie Claire, the sound was awful!”

 Sound? Screams?

 “Where did you say you went on your picnic?”

 “Just outside the city, Miss Beauchamp. Near this hill, Craigh na Dun.”

It took time, some cajoling and a full platter of Mrs Graham’s biscuits, but I finally succeeded in calming Roger, Faith and Brianna. They exhausted themselves and were now all napping in the girls’ room. I made my way back to Reggie’s study, the manse quiet except for the soft music coming from the kitchen.

 “Reggie...”

 The reverend’s desk was scattered with papers, the letters and proclamation I had found, but also what looked like a family tree and a piece of paper filled with Reggie’s familiar scribbling.

 “The bairns...”

 “They exhausted themselves. They’re napping in the girls’ room.”

“Good... I’ve been looking through all the papers ye found and tried to make a timeline... We are now in August 1950 which means that during yer Jamie’s time it is now August 1748... 202 years difference, right?”

I nodded and noted his frowned expression.

“What seems to be the problem, Reggie?”

He sighed.

“It’s all those dates... Nothing is right! The letter from the French King is dated May of 1748... And this letter from the Duke of Cumberland is dated September of 1748... In September 1748, Cumberland was in the Holy Roman Empire for the signing of the Treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle! It is impossible that ye and the lassies... Unless...”

 He started opening drawers full of paperwork, fished out a photograph before going to the mantle of the fireplace and taking a framed document.

 “McMaster!” he exclaimed, handing me the framed and the picture.

 The framed contained what looked like a very old document in Latin with several seals at the bottom.

 “I don’t understand... What is this document and who or what is McMaster?”

A smile appeared on the Reverend’s face.

 “This, me dear, is a photograph of the Declaration of Arbroath, the letters the Scottish barons sent to Pope John XXII in 1320 in response to the excommunication of Robert the Bruce. It is currently held at the Scottish Record Office in Edinburgh. And this” he pointed to the frame, “is an almost perfect copy of the Declaration that was made by a dear friend of mine, Ray McMaster.”

 “A copy, you say?”

 I couldn’t quite believe that this document was not the real deal. It looks exactly like the one in the picture, albeit without the signs of time.

 “So your friend, McMaster... He’s a counterfeiter?”

 Reggie let out a jolly laugh.

 “In another life he might have been... No, he is an artist. He works with several museums throughout Britain. As ye must know from yer experiences with yer Uncle Lambert, artifacts are priceless and mostly fragile. It is the same for documents and that’s when Ray comes in. He made several copies of documents that are on display at the Culloden Museum, like letters from Bonnie Prince Charlie and the Scottish Lairds Declaration to the Old Pretender.”

 “You want to ask your friend to make copies of King Louis and the Duke of Cumberland’s letters...”

 “Yes! It might take him awhile; Ray is quite the perfectionist... But the proclamation is dated July of 1749, so it will give you and the girl time to get ready to make the trip back through the stones...”

 He smiled, sheepishly.

 “And it will give us time to get use to the idea of ye and yer lasses leaving...”

 I sighed before hugging him. The girls and I would be reunited with Jamie and our family back in the 18th century, but it will mean saying goodbye to our 20th century family. The idea of leaving Reggie, Roger and Mrs Graham suddenly made me feel faint... 

“Promise me something, lass... Promise me ye’ll try to find a way to get word to us, to let us ken ye are all safe...”

 “I promise, Reggie... I think I might even have an idea how. You do business with a publishing house from Edinburgh, Fraser Press. It was founded back in the 18th century as F.A.M.M. Fraser, Printer and Book Seller...”

 He frowned. “F.A.M.M. Fraser? Yer lad, Fergus?”

 I nodded. “According to Mrs Graham, Fraser Press still belongs to my Fergus’ descendants... I’ll forever be thankful for what you did for me and my girls...”

 “I feel as if ye and yer lasses are me own... Like ye are part of me family and... maybe ye are, in a way.”

 He took the family tree from the table, it was a MacKenzie family tree.

 “Tis wee Roger’s family tree, from his father’s side. See if ye can find any name ye recognize...”

 I looked at the very top and let out a gasp.

 “William John and Sarah MacKenzie... They’re... They adopted Dougal and Geillis’ son... Oh my God! That means that Roger is...”

 “Dougal, ye mean the War Chieftain of clan MacKenzie?”

 “Yes, he was Jamie’s uncle, his mother’s brother... He had an affair with Geillis Duncan, the fiscal’s wife, but... She was a traveler, from 1968... And Roger can hear the stones as well... But then he is...”

 I tried to calculate in my head, but Reggie was quicker.

 “It means that wee Roger is yer lasses’ 2nd cousin, 6 times removed. So ye are, indeed, family.”

 “So I truly am Auntie Claire!”

 We laughed and cried at the same time, Reggie holding me in his arms and whispering softly. I felt so safe in his embrace. It reminded me of how safe I felt in Uncle Lamb’s embrace.

 “Now, me dear, we have to make preparations...”

                                                           ****

 And so we did. First we had to contact Mr McMaster who took quite his time responding to the message Reggie left with his assistant. Then with the help of Mrs Graham and her coven of druids, we salvaged pieces of the clothing Faith and I had wore on our arrival to 1948 and made three new dresses with lots of hidden pockets.

Slowly I started to get the girls to the idea that we would be leaving our current lives to be reunited with Jamie and Fergus. Faith had an easier time accepting it than Brianna. The 20th Century was all she had known and, although she had been quite young, my eldest daughter still had vivid memories of our lives in the past. She was able to get her sister excited at the prospect of finally meeting their father and their brother. My sweet little girl made sure to tell Brianna that both Jamie and Fergus would love her and that Fergus would teach her all the French comptines she couldn’t remember.

 We celebrated first Faith’s 4th birthday, then my own 32nd and finally Brianna’s 2nd. After Hogmanay, the girls started counting down the day until we would leave. We had decided that the best moment to pass through the Stones would be on the Summer Solstice. And so we counted the days and waited for Mr McMaster to send the copy of the letters. And we waited, and waited, and waited. By late May I was beginning to think the letters would never get on time and that we would miss our window of opportunity. That is until June 15th, 5 days before our set departure date.

 Reggie had taken Mrs Graham, Roger and the girls on an outing by the Loch and I was doing some last minute check, making sure all the medicine I had “borrowed” from the Infirmary would fit in all the hidden pockets of my traveling clothes, counting all the vintage coins we had found in several antique boutiques, when someone rang the doorbell.

 “Yes?” I said to the well dressed man standing on the doorstep.

 “I have a parcel for Mrs Claire Fraser...”

 Claire Fraser... I hadn’t been called that in what seemed like a lifetime ago...

 “Yes... I mean... I am Claire Fraser.”

 He handed me a large envelop before wishing me a nice day. The envelope was indeed addressed to me, but there was no return address. I slowly made my way to Reggie’s study and opened it. Inside were two sealed documents as well as what looked like antique bank statement from the Royal Bank of Scotland and three delicate necklaces with gemstones. In between those documents was a simple white envelope with one word, Madonna.

 Ma chère Madonna,

 You must have now deduced that Ray McMaster and the Paris apothecary you met a long time ago are one and the same.

You see, I have been watching you for years, Madonna. I first met you when you were a small child, pushed in a pram by your mother in an Oxford park. Your light, even at such a young age, shined a bright blue. Our second meeting happened shortly after your parents’ untimely death, when you were travelling to Egypt with your Uncle Lambert.

You see, Madonna, the Beauchamp are quite dear to me and I was tasked – or more likely I tasked myself – into looking after them through Time.  Just like you, Madonna, I am a traveler. I have traveled for so long that I somehow forgot where and when I am from. But I have never forgotten my line. You are of my line, Madonna. You come from a long line of what now people call time traveler.

Your destiny was always to travel through the Stones of Craigh na Dun and to meet your Highlander. And it is my destiny to reunite you with him.

I was able to visit Versailles recently. Do not worry, Madonna, King Louis didn’t recognized me. Although for him 4 years had passed since our last encounter, for me it had been a couple of decades. After leaving Versailles I made a quick detour by Aix-la-Chapelle and met with the Duke of Cumberland. I was able to convince him of the innocence and the loyalty of both you and your Highlander. Quite the man, that Butcher of Culloden.

I know Reginald believe me to be an artist – a counterfeiter maybe – but as you can see I am simply a traveler. Don’t tell him that the Declaration of Arbroath I gave him a couple of years ago is actually one of the original copy. I don’t think he would survive the shock.

Aurevoir for now, Madonna, for I am sure we will meet again.

 Raymond

 PS. I almost forgot, you will also find bank papers allowing you to access an account at the Royal Bank of Scotland in Edinburgh back in the 18th Century. I opened it in 1727 in your name, hopefully the fund will allow you and your Highlander to live comfortably. – R

PPS. The gemstones necklaces should allow you to pass through the Stones and through time more easily. Opal for yourself and your Faith and topaz for your Brianna. – R

 I didn’t realize I was crying until a tear fell on the letter, staining the paper. I didn’t know what to think about all that, but knowing Master Raymond had spent years furtively watching over me...

 “Thank you...” I said before putting the precious documents away.

                                                         ****

 Before I even realized it, it was June 20th. We all went to bed quite early the previous night and got up a couple of hours before dawn. I took my time getting the girls ready before joining Reggie and Roger down in the kitchen for a light breakfast – I knew from experience that it was better to travel through the Stones on an empty stomach.

 “Do ye really have to go, Auntie Claire?” asked Roger, eyes still red from having cried himself to sleep.

 “I’m afraid we do, sweet boy... But I promise I will find a way to get word to you as soon as we can...”

 The car ride was spent in silence and as we arrived at Craigh na Dun we were meet by Mrs Graham and some of her fellow Druids. Unlike for Beltane and Samhain, the Midsommer Druids Dance was done only by 3 dancers led by Mrs Graham.

 “They are ready for ye, me dear...”

 That’s when it hit me... I turned toward Reggie and Roger, hugging them as if my life depended on it, pressing kisses to the cheeks and tasting their salty tears. The girls too hugged them and kissed them goodbye, Brianna having to be pried from her grip on Roger’s neck.

 We finally made the trek up the hill and the buzzing sent more tears to my daughters’ eyes. Arriving in front of the central stone, I took Brianna in my arms, balancing her on my hip, and held Faith’s little hand.

 “Alright, girls... Now I want you to think about your father and brother... Think about them and about finally seeing them... I want you to count to three with me, and at three we will all touch the stone, alright?”

 They both nodded.

 “One... Two... Three!”

 TBC

[caterinawriting]

The Cost of a Legacy (5)

Summary : He sees her and she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, everything perfect. Well except the fact that they’re growing up during the revolutionary war. Their love will hit many hurdles and what the future has in store may not be what they planned.

Pairing : John Laurens x Reader

Words : 2,102

July 1772

Dearest John,

I’m so sad to hear you won’t be coming to see me, but of course, I understand. It’s a very long distance from Charleston to Switzerland, the voyage is exhausting. Trust me. I miss you, my love, please next letter don’t be so vague. I wanna hear about work and your studies, on how your mother is or how your siblings are. I won’t lie John your letter upset me, I can tell you wrote it in a rush, your penmanship is usually much neater. I understand some times you might not have time to paint me your whole day, but I long to hear your thoughts. Daddy hasn’t written in a while, unfortunately. Anna, my helper tells me to stay positive but I fear he’s in trouble. He’s never been this distant with me, I don’t know I guess I’m feeling farther away from him every day. I miss you John, please write back soon. 

Yours truly,

(Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

August 1772

Dearest John, Are you well my love? It’s odd of you not to write me back. I’m worried sick John, after what you said in your letter about your mother, I fear the worst. I don’t want to assume something like that so please John explain to me what’s happening. Its times like this where I wish I was still in Manhattan, it’s still far from you but I’d take the ride to you right now if I could. I miss home, I miss you, John Laurens, I miss daddy, I miss Angelica and her sisters. John, I know its selfish but your letters make me feel normal like I’m still there with all of you. Please, John, write to me.

Yours truly, (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

August 1772

Dearest John, I’m just sending this incase my other letters you didn’t arrive. Maybe our lack of communication is just on hold for now. If that’s the case disregard my tone, I’m worried that is all. Be well, John.

Yours Truly (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch.

September 1772

Dear John,

Its fall already, every one of my friends says they can’t believe I’ve been to Switzerland a year, how fast the times go. Not for me every night I pray to God that he puts me back in New York and every day I wake disappointed. The days only seem to drag, the same routine every day. Daddy hasn’t written to me but he has written Anna, she says the letter is private but that he wishes I be well. I don’t understand why he couldn’t have written that to me. My days are clouded with confusion now. You have yet to write to me and I might know why I wrote my dear friend Angelica and she says she saw you in Manhattan the other day. So great, at least I know your alive and kicking. Angelica writes that I should be angry at you, for obvious reasons, but she has another claim. She states when she saw you, you were accompanied by a woman. She says she wasnt near the age of any of your sisters, I want a clear response. If your even willing to give me one. I want you to write to me and explain what’s happening, are we done? If you no longer want me John tell me. I’m sick of feeling so helpless. I’ve tried to defend you, maybe something came up with your mother, maybe your busy with studies or your father’s company. But if you’re able to lounge around New York then you’re able to send me a letter with a quick response. Please, Im driving myself mad. My mother, my father, now you? It’s too much abandonment John, so for my birthday this month please write me something, anything. I’ve never asked for anything on my birthday, so grant me this John. An answer, I can forgive you, John, If you still want to continue this.  

Truly

(Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

October 1772

“James, wheres John?” Henry had been searching for his older brother all morning, since their mother passed John hadn’t been the same. He avoided his father and siblings opting to only spend time with Martha. Matha had been staying with them since the funeral, her father still in London funding her visit. He knew John was basically using Martha as a way of coping but it wasn’t right, at least is Henry’s mind it wasnt. Especially when John knew that Martha would do anything for him, and he’d do nothing for her.

“He and Martha went out for an early horse ride, again. And he didn’t say goodbye, again.” He frowned putting his book down, “When is John going to be normal again? It’s like I see him and he’s there, but I feel like he’s gone with Momma.” Henry sighed patting his brother, “Don’t worry little man, I’ll bring John back.” He made his way out, sitting on their porch waiting for the couple to return. He grabbed the mail in the meanwhile.

There it was as he suspected, a letter from (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch. He knew John was really messed up when he stopped writing (Y/n) back, she had written him many times, probably confused why her John was avoiding her. His brother hadn’t sent anything to Switzerland since July. Even though Henry didn’t like her much he did sympathize with her.

He knew his brother hadn’t forgotten about her too because every time he presented him with a new letter John would take the letter to his room and stay locked in all night. One night Henry passed his room and heard sobs from his brother, from her letters he assumed.

He sat there waiting till he saw his brother riding back into their barn. Henry made his way over letters in hand, “Good morning Henry! Sorry we left before any of you were awake, John wanted an early start. Right darling?” Martha dismounted her horse gracefully turning to John who simply nodded. “No worries Martha, I have a letter from your father if you liked to read it.” She squealed, “Yes thank you, Henry! John, I’ll be in my quarters if you need me.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek handing him the reins of her horse, strolling away.

“What do you have there?” John asked still not looking at his brother, as he put his horses back. “Oh, you know the usual, a letter from that poor girl your torturing in Switzerland.” He handed the letter to him, John tucking it into his vest. “When are you going to write this girl back? She’s probably worried sick about you, John it’s cruel.”

“I will soon, I just don’t know what to say to her.” Henry sighed “How about, hey (Y/n) remember how I said Id court you and write you because I cared for you so much? Well, guess what I’m courting someone new and don’t care for you anymore.”

“I do care about her and I’m not courting Martha, were friends that’s it.” Henry scoffed, “Well ‘darling’ Martha thinks she’s getting courted and (Y/n) is probably being courted by some Swedish guy who actually gives her the time of day.” He walked away, annoyed with his brother’s behavior.

(Y/n) wouldn’t do that to him, right? But Henry had a point he was basically doing that to her but with Martha. He hadnt meant for things to go this far with Martha, sure he hadnt kissed her but keeping her here for this long was definitely giving her the wrong message. He made his way out of the barn and up to his room, making sure to lock it.

Once in his room be pulled out a box under his bed, they’re wrapped in (Y/n)’s ribbon were all her letter. He sat as his desk and pulled out the new one, beginning to read it.

End of September 1772

Dear John Laurens,

I am now 15, you are about to be 18. Happy birthday John. If you were curious to know I spent my birthday with Anna alone. I hoped you’d bless me with a letter but no surprise you’ve disappointed me again. I wanted to take the time to tell you our courtship is over, though for you it might have been over long ago. I will cherish our childhood memories well, and when I’m old I’ll think back and smile. For now, I’ll force a smile until someone comes around and changes that. Thank you, John, for everything, you truly changed my life. It goes without saying that this will be my last letter to you. I hope you have a prosperous career and hey maybe that dream you had about your all-black regiment will come true. Never give that up John, you’re destined for greatness, I know it. I don’t want this part to sound bitter but find a good wife John, someone whose smile lights up your world. Have those 7 kids you want, which I still think is a crazy number. I wish you the best John, I’m sending your necklace with this letter. I assume you’d want it back, and I can’t keep it if I’m not yours anymore. The next girl will adore it, John. Best of luck to you, old friend.

Sincerely (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

He sighed wiping the tears forming in his eyes, he should have seen this coming. He took the envelope and pulled out her necklace, his hands shook as he placed the necklace in her box. He understood leaving (Y/n) in the dark for so long was wrong, but he wanted to see if he could make his mother happy. He tried to love Martha, god that was all he was doing for the past 4 months, putting all his time and energy into getting himself to like her. It wasnt fair to either of them, he knew that with (Y/n) if had written her back he knew he wouldn’t have been able to focus on Martha. Martha was everything his mother wanted for him and he was trying to please his mother. The pain he was experiencing now from losing (Y/n) was it worth it? He abandon a girl who knows the feeling too well.

She couldn’t control her mother dying so she grew up with no female guidance. Her father did what he thought was right and left her alone in a foreign country at such a young age. And now he who promised to wait for her and court her dropped off the face of her world.

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts, he wiped his tears and placed the box under his bed. He opened the door to see a sad Martha, “John my father wants me back in London, he states it super important.  I’m sorry to leave you now, I can see you’re still hurting from your mother’s passing.” She pointed out the tear stains on his face. He nodded, grateful she was leaving.

He needed time to think about him, he obviously wasnt getting anywhere with Martha. Apparently forcing yourself to like someone doesn't work. “Its alright Martha, safe travels.”

“Well, I’ll come back as soon as I can John. I don’t want to leave you for too long especially considering our situation. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon, Johnny.” She once again kissed his cheek and then left to pack her things. Gosh, he definitely needed to clear things up, at least she was leaving though, breaking the news through a letter seemed better than doing it in person.

---

“Boys! John, Henry, James! Come down here.”

“What is it, father?” Henry asked when they were all in front of their father. “Boys were going to be rich! The business is soaring boys!” They clapped, “Congrdualtions father.” John said.

“Well boys with the business going so good, we’ve got to dedicate ourselves to it. So we’re moving to London! Mr. Mannings has got a house all set for us, so you guys will learn and study there. The girls will, unfortunately, have to stay here with your aunt. But us Laurens Men are going to thrive in London, what do you say boys?” Henry and James celebrated with their father, eager to get to London.

London, way to close to Martha, far from the colonies, where the action was happening. Hed leave his sisters and best friend behind but he'd be closer to (Y/n). Maybe he could make his way to Switzerland one weekend and apologize to her. Yes, that’s what he do, go get his girl back.

...

Not edited, enjoy

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Chapter 19)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Ch6apter 10 , Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15 , Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18

She Said

Back in LA, I found myself home schooling again as Covid was seeing another surge and there was still no vaccine on the horizon.  It was definitely a struggle not having Keanu there in my regular day to day life especially as I still had to deal with the downsides associated with being his girlfriend – like not having my social media fix and getting photographed looking like shit while doing  the grocery shopping!

The memory of that day alone together in New York was seared in my brain;  And it either helped me get through, looking forward to having him home again or made things 50 times worse because it reminded me how much I missed him.

After the amazing sex and snoozing, we’d headed to a café for brunch then spent a couple of hours walking in the park. We weren’t bothered by any fans or photographers and we were just able to enjoy a relaxing time together. It was what we needed after the tension that was there because of the whole publicity issue. And the sex had left us physically relaxed too. We talked about plans for later in the year after John Wick 4 filming had concluded. There would be a 3 week spell of filming in New York then another 3 week shoot in Russia before heading back to New York to finish for a couple more months. The Russia slot had changed due to some problem with permissions to use a specific city which was why they had to break up the New York shoot.

I found myself far more stressed by the renewed lockdown and home schooling this second time around – I think I’d just got too used to Keanu being around so it was like readjusting to being a single parent yet again and I definitely had a shorter fuse.

Keanu came home for a couple of days between the New York and Russia shoots and unfortunately I took out the tension I was feeling on him. He came straight to my house from the airport, exhausted from the shoot where they’d tried to get ahead of themselves so had been doing 12-16 hour days. He’d accumulated a pile of dirty laundry which he asked if I wouldn’t mind doing.

“What? You couldn’t get hotel services to deal with this?” I snapped

“Come on, I’ve been working 6 til 10 every day this week, I just forgot” he pleaded.

“Whatever!”

Later I apologised to him. I put it down to having just had two consecutive school days that week  which was exhausting physically and mentally and I’d been a bit under the weather. He forgave me but there were a couple more tense moments before he went to Russia.

The car to take him to the airport was due soon and he gathered his bags and then pulled me close. I didn’t want to let him go.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been such a bitch!” I grovelled, looking up into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

“Hey, it’s OK, I know it’s tough being here holding the fort. I’ve got it good, I know that. I’m busy all day and sometimes into the night on set and I don’t have all the responsibilities you have so, I know it’s hard hun but just think, in August. I’ll be back and we can all just be together for as long as we like. I haven’t accepted any other work yet so it’s just promo for Matrix and John Wick that will definitely happen and that might be done more on line now that we know it works! And who knows, I might just get you pregnant as well!”

 “You have to be here to do that sweetie”

 “I know” he grinned giving my nose a tweak.

 He Said

The first shooting in New York went well and whilst I missed Sophia and the kids, I was working so hard that there wasn’t much time for me to dwell on it. And the memory of that special day alone together sustained me, knowing that at the end of the John Wick shoot, I’d have at least a few months at home before having  to go anywhere on a shoot or promotional tour.  

I kept in touch via messaging and calls and the occasional bunch of flowers or a book sent to her to let her know she was in my thoughts but I know it was harder on her being alone especially when they had to start home schooling again. Julie was still part of the bubble but her baby was still small so she wasn’t always able to do her share, so Sophia and Miranda picked up the slack.  

When I managed to pop back to LA in-between the first New York and the Russia shoots, Sophia was tetchy and I wondered whether it would have been better to simply go straight to Russia and stay out of her way! But she looked tired and drawn so I tried my best to be patient and took the kids out to play in the park for a few hours to give her a break whilst  I was around.  It wasn’t fun being on the receiving end of her temper, but I wished I could make life easier for her all the time and not have yet another period of location shooting ahead of me. I reassured her that once I was home, we’d have a few months at least together and I hoped that maybe then we’d strike it lucky with the baby plans.

 She Said

While Keanu was in Russia, it really was a case of soldiering on. I was still feeling under the weather and constantly taking my temperature in case I was somehow going down with Covid but it was always normal regardless of how rubbish I felt.

We mostly did our calls in the mornings at around 8am as Russia is 10 hours ahead. Sometimes it was phone and sometimes video call depending on how good his internet was.  

The kids would usually pile in in front of the iPad at some point in each call and his smile was so heart-warming to see when they popped up.

“You got any messages for Karina?” I asked him on one call “I’m meeting her for coffee tomorrow”

“Just say hi and that I’ll try to see her and mom when I’m home in-between Russia and NY OK? Only 2 days to go.”

“Yup, I’m counting down the hours” I said showing him my phone screen where I’d set a countdown on my home screen.

The next day, Karina and I sat in the sun enjoying a coffee. Well, I should clarify, she was enjoying a coffee and I was finding mine distinctly weird.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with this milk. My coffee tastes weird."

“no mine’s fine” you sure you’re OK. You look kinda pale.

“Yeah I just think this whole lockdown and home schooling thing is wearing me down. I was OK first time around when it was just 2 a week but now I sometimes get 3 days with 5 kids and I miss Keanu!”

“Poor baby – you should see your doctor though if you don’t feel better soon …………… or maybe your OBGYN!” she said, whispering the last part.

“What?!”

“Don’t tell me it hasn’t occurred to you” Karina said incredulously. “You two are trying right?”

“What?”

‘What’ is all I seemed to be able to say! She started laughing then.

“Don’t worry,  he didn’t tell me anything, I just guessed by some stuff he said without realising and now here you are looking distinctly sickly …… and you were last together about a month ago right?”

I nodded, doing the maths and realising she had a point – I hadn’t had my period in how many weeks now? I hadn’t done the calculations, what with everything going on, it had totally slipped my mind.

I could feel the colour rising in my cheeks.

“you got a test at home?”

I shook my head.

“Well go get one right after this! – he’s home the day after tomorrow right? Well you might have a lovely surprise for him eh?”

After our meet up I went straight home deciding against getting a test  - I was paranoid about picking one up in person and someone recognising me and alerting the press.  Instead I ordered one from Amazon which would be delivered the next morning. Karina texted me a couple of hours later to ask if I had done a test and was frustrated to hear I’d not got one yet though she got why I had bottled it. I told her I wasn’t about to tell her the result before her brother anyway!

 He Said

I sank into the seat on the plane next to Chad, relieved to have the Russia shoot in the can. One of the stewards bought my requested Bloody Mary and I took a sip, a satisfied sigh leaving my lips.

“Happy?” Chad asked.

“Yeah, just glad to have a few days with Sophia if I’m honest. After this movie, my foot is coming off the pedal, I swear”

“Hard being away right? When you have a special someone at home that is?”

“Yup and she’s not been well this whole time  - she’s been doing all this home schooling and it’s too much on your own. I mean those kids are great but, you know, they bounce out of bed at 7 and they just keep on bouncing til 7 or 8 at night like Duracell bunnies!”

“And you want more?”

“What?!” I spluttered.

“Come on, I can tell. You’ve said too many things that have clued me in”

I was blushing fiercely but there was little point trying to hide this from Chad. He’d known me for over 20 years and could read me like a book.

“Oh man, I must be the most transparent person on the planet”

“nahh you’re good at being guarded when you need to but, I just know you, OK? Good luck to you. I hope it works out, you both deserve it”

“Thanks man”

We landed in the early evening  in LA. With the magic of the time difference, our bodies had had 12 hours of flight but it was just 2 hours after take off in terms of the time on the clock. I’d tried not to sleep too much but just enough so that I could stay awake till maybe 10 or 11pm  and then catch up on my sleep that evening. I’d then have a 5 day break with Sophia before heading back to New York for the rest of the shoot.

She Said

I was like a cat on a hit tin roof from 6pm when Keanu texted to say he’d landed. I got the kids ready for bed but let them wait in their PJs so they could see him  - he was there by 7.30. We kissed briefly in the entryway before he came into the house proper to greet the kids and thrill them with a Russian doll and traditional ushanka hat each.  We managed to get them off to bed by 8.30, finally collapsing on the sofa.

I nestled into Keanu’s side, relishing in the warmth and closeness I’d missed for the past 3 weeks.

“Do you want a drink?” I asked.

“No, I’m fine – the only thing that seems appealing is a hot chocolate before bed if I’m honest, I’m running on empty, trying to stay up as long as I can!”

“mmmm, me too and I don’t have the excuse of a long haul flight!”

“Are you ready for your gifts?”

“mmmm yes please”

He kissed my cheek and got up to hunt in his bag.

He’d got me a bottle of Beluga vodka and a gorgeous traditional Russian scarf with pretty red roses woven on a black background.

“Hey, I guess we could have a little welcome home shot on ice?”

 “Yeah sure”  

 “I’ll just get the glasses and I’ve got a little gift for you too.”

I went to the kitchen where my gift was already waiting on the counter and grabbed a shot glass and some ice and went back to the living room and sat down beside him again.

“Just one glass?” he queried.

“Yup, I don’t fancy it right now, sorry – anyway, here” I said handing him a small gift.

“You didn’t have to get my anything!”

“I kind of did” I said simply,  making him cock his eyebrow quizzically at me as he pulled on the ribbon and unwrapped my gift.   There was tissue paper inside which he  pulled open.

He was quiet for several seconds, staring down in his lap before he lifted his dark eyes to mine, a single tear escaping.

“Come ‘ere”

He Said

I  could often be taciturn, in difficult interviews for example, but it was rare for me to be rendered speechless yet that’s what I was after unwrapping Sophia’s gift. I’d never actually seen one before in real life, a strange thing to admit maybe for a 56 year old man, but there it was in my lap: A positive pregnancy test.  We’d done it, conceived at our combined age of nearly 100!,  without any great stress or strain and I was thrilled  - even in my jet lagged state I felt elated and I kissed and hugged Sophia until she couldn’t take any more!

We skipped the vodka and went straight to bed, talking briefly about the details before falling asleep, both  of us exhausted for our different reasons. I spooned behind her with my hand resting on her belly and her hand over mine and smiled as I drifted to sleep.

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithk’eanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles @bitchyslut99

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 17

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Chapter 15, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Happy school year in two weeks, folks.

Not gonna lie, I actually had a plan for this chapter, and then forgot it. So... yeah, not the most cohesive or best chapter, but I got it out, and it’s nice, and I like it this way because it’s a break from the wave of panic attacks and mild transphobia the last chapter or two.

Yes, I’m back home now, and I’m doing actually much better mentally and physically than I have since September till June. But the chapters are gonna take a while longer to write from now on, because I’m about to join the scary world of job searching for the unstable ADHD brain, not to mention being involved in three regular ttrpg campaigns (where I play a halfling sorcerer, and a half-elf bard, and also DM the third one), so... my brain is busy. But I promise this fic isn’t going on hiatus! I’m still extremely dedicated and excited to be writing this fic. I love it so much. Honest.

As per every chapter, thanks go to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for generally being a wonderful human, to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for putting up with my fangirl-levels of excitement over everything (and coming up with the original idea), to @winglessnymph, @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl - who, while I know they’ve all fallen out of the loop, continue to have long-lasting effects on this fic as a whole - and new to this list, to @ilovemygaydad, who I’ve asked to beta this fic for me and I hope they’d have time for that starting with the next chapter.

Happy start of college and good luck, my darling dear child. I love you.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist, @thebiggestgaypirate, @marshmallow-the-panda

(Wanna be tagged? Lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter is light on the transphobia, but includes aphobia, deadnaming, panphobia (yes, pansexuality was a term in the early 00s, as I learned just half an hour ago) and vague mentions of child abuse.

—————

Sunday, July 27th, 2003

Incoming call: 218-357-5555

"Ye—"

"Remy? I didn't forget your number? Oh good!"

"...Emile?"

"Yeah?"

"...what's this phone number, darling?"

"Oh! Yeah, I… my phone died, so I got a new one! Sorry I didn't tell you sooner… but, umm, I'm gonna get to the point, yeah okay, happy birthday!"

"Thank… you…? Em, you shouldn't have—"

"Ah, but see, that's where you're wrong! Because I had to, because I said that I have to! You're my best friend in the whole world, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't at least call you to say happy birthday?"

"You're precious, darling."

"Thank you! Oh, did you get my gift yet? I sent it to you in the mail last month! Did you—"

"I did, it was… well, it was unexpected, I'd give you that. Where did you even find a Jack mug anyway?"

"Disneyland…?"

"...you know what, that's fair."

"Yeah! So, happy birthday! I'll be in Manhattan next week, so like… do you wanna go see a show or something…? I haven't seen the Gypsy revival yet…"

"...it's a date, then. But you're paying."

"Yes, yes of course! It's gonna be alright, okay? You trust me?"

"With my life."

"Yay! Okay, okay, umm… yeah. I miss you! Happy birthday!"

"Thank—"

"I gotta go right now at this second it's my cousin's bat mitzvah in two days and I need to get my suit and everything but I'll call you tomorrow evening too okay?"

"Sure… have fun, darling."

"Thank you! Okay, bye!"

—————

"India M—"

"Why didn't you tell me Emile has a new number? I cannot fucking believe you!"

"He wanted to do it himself, peach. On your birthday."

"Okay… okay, I guess that's fair…"

"Happy birthday, too."

"Thanks, mom…"

"So… how'd you spend the week?"

"Nothing big happened… my dad took me to see Nina West last night. It was the fucking best."

"I'll bet. Did you have fun?"

"So much fun! She's fan-fucking-tastic. Honestly. I'd give anything for her to either do me or spare a bit of her funny to me."

"Wow… gay much?"

"Shut up."

"Don't worry, it's fine. I still need to take Jenna to a drag show sometime. Did anyone hit on you…?"

"You'll be surprised how many people hit on my dad, actually. But no. I actually broke up with Chris today because of this."

"Oh? Do tell."

"It wasn't… much. He called me a couple hours ago to say happy birthday, which is fine if you ask me but I just… it ended in him trying to talk me into not talking to Emile again. And that's normal, okay, ain't something I can't handle. But he said ‘sure he's asexual, when he isn't spreading his legs to everyone he's asexual'."

"...did he seriously think he can get away with it?"

"India, no—"

"I don't give a fuck anymore, peach. I'm not going to beat him up, you have nothing to worry about, I just… this shit is so fucking infuriating!"

"I know. But hey, look at the bright side. Ulysses and Mandy said they'll take over next year, I'm gonna let them know. He won't be back."

"That's… that's true. I'll call Mandy later. Don't worry about it. Just… what then?"

"Then I told him that it wasn't his choice, he didn't choose any of it, so he said ‘just like you couldn't choose to stay a girl, Rebecca'."

"...oh yeah. Yeah, definitely. I'm telling Mandy. She'll deck him for sure next time she sees him."

"Thanks, mom. I just… I so wanted to deck him right then! So I gave him a piece of my mind, broke up with him and hung up and deleted his number. Now we wait and see what's gonna happen."

"Good boy. I taught you well."

"Thanks… again… he also said that asexuality isn't real, and—"

"I'm flying down to Texas right now to sock him. I took karate for three years. I can do this."

"India, no… hon. Babe. You need to get settled in DC. You need to—"

"I'm buying the plane tickets right now, Remy! Watch me!"

"—You need to get your life together and get your master's degree. You do not, however, need to go break the nuts of someone who doesn't deserve your attention—"

"Who's the older and wiser one of us?"

"Right now? Not you. You told me this very thing when I wanted to kill that asshole who made a joke out of Emmy, I'm telling you this now. Don't."

"...fine. But if I ever do get the opportunity, I'm doing it."

"Good for you."

"Nobody plays my kids dirty like that."

"You go, mom."

"I will! Oh shit, I have to go!"

"What? Why—"

"I forgot Jenna's parents are coming over today and I need to go pick them up from the airport. I'll call you later to keep catching up, okay peach?"

"Okay, but—"

"Awesome, happy birthday, we love you! See you in two weeks!"

"...see y—"

—————

"...Remy?"

"Good evening, Linda… where's Leah?"

"...and here I thought you called to talk to me. But I suppose I'm only your mother, nothing—"

"Mom, please, I'll talk to you after I tell Leah something really important."

"Alright, I'm sorry. But you got the package we sent you, didn't you?"

"I did, I… I just don't understand. You painted that…?"

"Who else would sign my name on a canvas, Remy?"

"You're… right. I'm sorry. It's very nice. Thank you."

"Happy birthday, son."

"Thank… you…"

"...hello?"

"Leah…? Leah, sweetie, can you hear me?"

"Remy! Oh, oh oh oh Remy I told you I'd tell you about my camp and—"

"And how was your time at camp? Take a breath and then tell me."

"Okay! Okay, so, so we were in the woods, and in cabins, and I kinda wanted to sleep in tents but it didn't happen and it was kinda disappointing but I can always do that later, and…"

—————

August 2003

There was a blackout as Remy was trying to write an essay Dr. Gilliam asked of his class.

So his dad put him on a bus to Georgia, which is why he's making do right now at doing his schoolwork with two children running around.

"We gotta go bowling too!" Leah whispered excitedly. For the fifteenth time this hour. "And then we need ice cream, and, umm, I know where the puppies are, and—"

"Leah, love, I need to finish this essay for school right now. Give me a couple minutes, about twenty, and I'll be with you, okay?"

"Okay!"

Remy couldn't be happier to be there at that moment. He had a plane ticket booked to Boston, his rooming was already set at Lowell, the papers have all been set and he was about to room with Emile, Mandy called him the other day to ask if he'd like to help her run the queer society meetings (and of course he said yes)...

And then there was a crashing sound. And a crying toddler sound. And he had to put his laptop aside to go check on Rachel.

More like run to the kitchen to check on Rachel, who was now standing in front of broken pieces of cheap china and bawling her eyes out.

"No, sweetie, it's okay…" he picked her up and started playing with her hair, hoping to calm her down. "We're gonna clean this, okay? What were you doing with the plate?"

"Tea party!"

"You wanna have a tea party?" She nodded, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. "Okay… okay. Let's wash your face, then pick up the pieces, and then make some tea and have a tea party with your dollies. Okay, love?"

She nodded again, and he kind of had no choice. So he did what he said he'd do, sitting Rachel down in her high chair as he cleaned the broken pieces, and for a moment, he felt like an absolute idiot. He felt like he was his mom.

Well… like Rachel was his mom, and the plate was him, and he was his dad, and holy fuck Emile's show analysis habits have definitely had an effect on him and he really should stop thinking about all this ridiculousness right now.

"Remy?" Leah whispered from behind him as he was picking up the shards. Rachel was entertaining herself, rather unaware of what's going on. "Is daddy gonna be mad?"

"I—" He had to stop. And think before answering. "I don't think so, honey."

"But a plate broke…"

"...he doesn't have to know. It was just a plate. He doesn't count the plates in the cupboard, now does he?" She shook her head, her hair flying everywhere. "So he won't know. Because we won't tell him."

"Okay. I can do that."

"I know you can do that, hon. Now, how about you get your roller skates and we'll go to the park?"

"But you said tea party…"

"We can have a tea party after the park. Rachel, do you wanna go to the park?"

Rachel, who up until then mostly minded her own business, looked over and started nodding with a big smile on her face.

"So we can go to the park and then have a tea party. Where's your roller skates?"

—————

Saturday, August 30th, 2003

"It's always nice to see new faces at the queer society meetings," Mandy said with a huge smile on her face as she balanced the clipboard on her knee, Remy holding her iced coffee. "I'm glad you all could make it today. Now, let's do a name round. Everyone state your preferred name - please no dick jokes, we have people who are very uncomfortable with those in this group as well - and what brings you here, and a small fact you'd like people to know about yourself if you'd want to."

Remy just kept looking over the room. Mandy had this all under control, already having printed out a list to put everyone's names and contacts in for if they need to. India trained her well.

From the corner of his eye, Remy could see Emile bouncing in his seat.

"I'll go first. Hi, I'm Amanda, I go by Mandy, I'm pansexual—"

"That's not a real word," someone called out. Remy did his best not to glare at the person.

He was pretty sure it's Chris.

"Pansexual is a word, Christian," Mandy replied, not even looking at him. "It was coined before your grandmother was even born. Anyway, I'm Mandy, I'm pansexual, and I'm in this wheelchair today because I have fibromyalgia and today is a very bad pain day. Who wants to go next?"

It was the same old sharing circle. Some people elaborated more, some people chose not to. Emile went ham on sharing, telling everyone he was gay and asexual and talking about his bunnies at length, looking as proud as he can be.

And then it got to Remy. And he wasn't nearly as anxious as he was last year.

"I'm Remy, I'm gay and transgender, and my therapist said I can start hormone therapy this year."

[properlittlefamily]

Ok I’ve never watched emmerdale but my monkey brain is all “go watch it now one of the two characters you’d watch it for is gone” also that’s so many episodes so do you know if there are any compilations I can watch? Or do you have a list of all the important Robron episodes, the must-sees? Much appreciated 💙 and thank you for your content

It is 11:54 pm on November 6th, three days after you sent this ask in. I just got done with the affair era (over 700 words) and I realized I absolutely suck at simplifying things, and I also don’t remember as much as I thought at did. So I’m going to publish what I have already written and then hand it over to the public to add more. Send a reply, send in an ask, send a message. Let’s bring this anon over to the dark side.

Oh, god, don’t do it, anon! Save yourself from the pain! No, but seriously, they have an incredible love story and if I could choose to go back in time before I started watching, even knowing all the bad that does happen, I would still do it.

Robron || How Far They’ve Come and robron - the story so far are a few videos I found. Both were posted in February 2017, right before a major plot point happened though, but are good compilations of their first 2 years.

To me, everything is important just because Ryan and Danny are incredible, both together and solo, but I will try and break down this phenomenal 5 year journey under the cut. (Spoilers obviously) I’m really not good at things like this, so please feel free to add more!

Shameless promotion time! @gifsrobron is my other robron blog where I gif nearly every scene/moment. I’m currently at the end of December 2015 and still going strong. Also, I tag everything liberally.

@aarondingel‘s Robron Kisses Timeline is a great page. It always brings a smile to my face and she did a great job.

@smittenwithsugden has done an AMAZING job with her Years Ago Today and Transcripts.

Now, since this is a soap that airs episodes 5-6 times a week, to me, you can break down their story into era’s. Acquaintances, affair, enemies, redemption, friends, boyfriends, fiances, husbands 1.0, break up/friends 2.0? and husbands 2.0. (Holy shit I just realized that’s a lot, jesus christ these idiots)

As a good start, August 14 2014 and October 23 2014. Aaron and Robert returning to the village are pretty good introductions to their characters if you haven’t watched the last thirty years of episodes.

Acquaintances (Novemember 2014 - December 2014)

November 19 2014. Their first meeting. Some more good looks into who their characters are at the time.

November 21 2014. One of my favorite earlier episodes. The chemistry, the tension. 👍🏽

Affair (December 2014 - July 2015)

December 4 2014. The start of the next 4 and a half years.

December 15 2014. Not to spoiler everything, but I think this is a good start to showing the progression to Robert and his internalized homophobia.

December 24 2014. Robert was already in deep. That is all I will say.

December 25 2014. I think this is also a good example of who their characters are as individuals and together.

Bonus: December 31 2014/January 1 2015. You should watch these episodes purely because they have only been “together” for all of four weeks, but already so in love!

January 9 2015. I have nothing to say, trust me, you won’t regret watching.

January 13 2015, January 19 2015, January 20 2015. Some of the first memorable moments from the earlier episodes and they never fail to make me happy.

January 29 2015, January 30 2015. More fantastic episodes where we get to see the transition between an affair and actually caring and loving for the other.

February 5 2015. The wedding from hell, but being in this fandom/actively liking these two you love the angst and this episode definitely brings it. (tw death)

February 10 2015, February 11 2015. More of that good angst. (tw outing)

February 19 2015. (tw death, suicidal intentions)

Honestly I think a lot of March 2015 is great, but March 26 2015, March 27 2015, March 30 2015 are good points in their story.

April 6 2015. Iconic. Is all I have to say.

April 8 2015.  Another episode that gets me emotional. (Also has a very iconic moment involving a rock.)

April 9 2015. This episode has the kind of angst, characters at each other’s throat action that I really enjoy. It’s great.

April 16 2015. Alot of people don’t like this month for completely valid reasons, but I still think this episode is great and would consider it a key point.

May 12 2015, May 14 2015. I’ve never actively loved seeing a character I love have a breakdown. Ryan is just sooo good.

June 25 2015. More good angst. That’s all I have to say. (tw outing)

July 7 2015, July 8 2015. They are just great episodes.

July 14 2015 - July 23 2015. I honestly don’t think any of these episods and scenes should be skipped because they are such an important part to the story.

Send me an ask, send me a message, reply to the post and I will add them all to the post.

[clumsyclifford]

psa i am so fucking sorry that every time i talk about my love for ross lynch i can’t shut the fuck up without writing a whole essay omfg

ok so this is very very off topic. but the driver era dropped a single tonight (it’s called leave me feeling confident. i am giving it a first listen as i type this). and like seeing the tracklisting for the album that’s coming out in october really has me like ???. they’ve already released 10 of the 15 songs on the album. why are they still releasing singles. and one of the 5 songs left to be released is an interlude?? like. it’s just weird tbh. like a kiss and forever always are both on it and those songs were released on like a mini ep as singles nearly TWO YEARS AGO. omg plz don’t come around (my fav fav fav song by them) and flashdrive are also both on it, which both came out like a year and a half ago. it just seems like such a weird way to release an album.

but anyways ! leave me feeling confident doesn’t seem awful. definitely will have to grow on me. i adore #1 fan, the last single they released, and no it isn’t because ross looked hot in the video. not at all. um yeah that’s all. i love ross and rocky with my entire heart but sometimes with their music i am simply confused. it just leaves me like ??? wyd. um ross did one of those going undercover on social media interviews a few weeks ago and i was just reminded of how in love with him i am. his lack of personality <33 my himbo <33 did you know he knows how to fly a plane. because their dad is a pilot. not only can i offer bella lore. i also have endless lynch family lore.

what’s some useless r5 lore. let me think. before sometime last night came out they had planned on releasing an album in like august-september of 2014?? but it kept getting delayed. not much of an explanation for why. anyways then sln didn’t come out until july of 2015 and i just remember being pissed about it. my mom took me to see them live (love her for that <33) onnnn july 25(?) that same year. i memorized the entire album in like two weeks. you know that meme that was popular for a second. the this can’t be the same brain meme. well this can’t be the same brain i used to memorize the entirety of sometime last night in 2 weeks. i wish i was her. OH more not really r5 but tde lore: omg plz don’t come around was written about a toxic relationship their youngest brother, ryland, was in where his gf kept cheating on him. ryland was their only sibling who wasn’t a member of r5.

the name of the band being r5 was a flat out LIE. yeah there were 5 of them. but the drummer’s name was ellington ratliff. ellington does not in fact start with R. he’s the only one who wasn’t related. him and rydel dated for several years?? FUN RANDOM FACT I JUST REMEMBERED. he was on the first episode of victorious??? lmfao this is one of my fav r5 crumbs. the very first episode of victorious. at the very beginning. tori is working on like this project for school at their kitchen table with this random boy who gets like 2 mins total of screen time. That Was Ellington. anyways ! then rydel & ellington broke up. i don’t think my heart has ever been crushed as much as it was the day rydel announced they had broken up. wait that’s a lie my heart was more broken when r5 rebranded without any prior announcement before doing it. but now he’s a pos so who cares ! I Am Sorry That Every Ask I Send About R5 Is An Essay. - bella !!!!!! (is it even necessary to sign off on asks like this. who else is coming to your ask box and sending essays about ross lynch)

((ok im gonna listen to the new single while i answer this bc i was just not aware of that happening))

uhhh........................what ??? the fuck ????????? i agree with all of that first of all god damn it why are they rereleasing these songs thats going to fuck up my spotify so fucking much second of all if theyve already released 2/3rds of their album why the fuck are they still releasing songs!!!! is it too late to pray the tracklist is a fake one meant to throw people off the scent. that would be nice. i'm legitimately kind of annoyed about this what the fuck is the point of this move boys i do not understand the logic

ok im really liking leave me feeling confident the vibes are interesting but the bass is soooooo sexy and when a song has a sexy bassline it always kicks up like at least three notches for me this song would probably be like a 6 without it but it's fully a 9 with it. SAX???? TLL ME THAT WAS A SAXOPHONE????? ok well i will say this, tde know how to arrange a song bro. they know how to throw cool sounds onto a track bro. also i am really liking the half steps in this song. like the flats in the melody. im not REALLY a music person im just talking.

oh bro back when i got into a&a/tde/r5 a bit i went on a tde interview binge so don't worry i have seen All the content, although a lot of it only once. but i distinctly remember one where they were going through their camera rolls and ross had a picture of nature or whatever and rocky asked him why and ross was like "bro you know i love nature" and that's the description of my tde complete works playlist because it makes me laugh. omg i was looking through my dms with iba for the video and i FOUND IT it's this one and it was actually his first instagram post not his camera roll but anyway the nature moment is at 2:30 and it makes me laugh. that video is actually so funny ross being like ?! i never got that shirt! or that trophy! im tryna call disney up............. bella if you just sent into a tde tailspin i will be very upset with you. while im at it though the other ross lynch quote that sends me off a fucking cliff is when shawn mendes/camila cabello's relationship gets brought up i don't remember how and ross lynch goes "we all know that relationship is fabricated!" can you imagine just being ross lynch im literally in love with him. im going to try and hunt down this interview one sec OKAY iba found it for me it's here anyway you've probably seen these already but they make me laugh

to be FAIR to ratliff though they never promised all first names would start with R and since one of his names started with R i think he can pass. i did actually know that i have a basic grasp of r5 lore although i did not know he was in victorious that's really funny good for him. not sure what a pos is but im happy for him i guess ? anyway thank you for the essay you got me rewatching tde interviews which are a nice way to spend an afternoon so thank you

[thuthu220100]

Meal planning makes grocery shopping and weeknight dinners less hectic, and we could all use a little less stress in our lives. If you’re new to meal planning or just need some new inspiration, our weekly meal plans are a great place to start.

Each week, we’ll be adding the meal plan featured in our Meal Prep & Planning newsletter. Sign up now if you’d like to get these meal plans sent straight to your inbox.

Check out the Expert’s Guide to Meal Planning for tons more plans, recipes and tips that’ll keep you organized.

This Week's Plan: 4-Ingredient Dinners

1 / 7

Sunday: Special Pork Chops

I work nine hours a day, so I need delicious and simple recipes like this one. My husband thinks I work hard fixing meals, but this dish is good and easy. In summer, I can my own salsa and use some to top these chops. —LaDane Wilson, Alexander City, Alabama

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Monday: Caesar Chicken with Feta

My tomatoey chicken is the perfect answer on those crazy days when supper has to be on the table in 30 minutes, tops (doesn't hurt that it's delicious, too). —Denise Chelpka, Phoenix, Arizona

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Tuesday: Weeknight Ravioli Lasagna

My husband and I love lasagna, but it's time-consuming to build and we always end up with too much. Using frozen ravioli solves everything. —Pamela Nicholson, Festus, Missouri

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Wednesday: In-a-Pinch Chicken & Spinach

I needed a fast supper while babysitting my grandchild. I used what my daughter-in-law had in the fridge and turned it into what's now one of our favorite chicken and spinach recipes. —Sandra Ellis, Stockbridge, Georgia

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Thursday: Garlic Toast Pizzas

Between working full-time, going to school and raising three children, finding time-saving recipes that my family likes is one of my biggest challenges. These quick pizzas pack a huge amount of flavor. —Amy Grim, Chillicothe, Ohio

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Friday: Oven-Roasted Salmon

When I’m starving after work, I want a fast meal with no-fail technique. Roasted salmon is super tender and has a delicate sweetness. It’s also an easy wowza for company. —Jeanne Ambrose, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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Saturday: Sesame Cilantro Shrimp

On days when I don't feel like spending much time in the kitchen, I reach for shrimp. I can have a hot meal in the table in 10 minutes. —Tami Penunuri, League City, Texas

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Find more weekly meal plans here.

Stressful weeks need easy dinners, like these. This week, we’re focusing on 4-ingredient dinners that come together in a snap. Because when life is hectic, dinner shouldn’t be.

Last Week's Plan: Canned Goods

1 / 7

Sunday: Effortless Black Bean Chili

My mom found the inspiration for this chili in a slow-cooker cookbook. After a few updates, all of us love it (even those of us who steer clear of beans). We think it's even better served over rice. —Amelia Gormley, Ephrata, Pennsylvania

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Monday: Family-Favorite Cheeseburger Pasta

I created this cheeseburger pasta recipe to satisfy a craving. What a delicious, healthy classic! —Raquel Haggard, Edmond, Oklahoma

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Tuesday: Greek Brown and Wild Rice Bowls

This fresh rice dish tastes like the Mediterranean in a bowl! It's short on ingredients, but packs in so much flavor. For a hand-held version, leave out the rice and tuck the rest of the ingredients in a pita pocket. —Darla Andrews, Schertz, Texas

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Wednesday: Spinach Salad with Tortellini & Roasted Onions

Spinach and tortellini go so well together, and this salad makes an easy meal with leftover cooked chicken. What really makes it special is the roasted onion that adds oomph to bottled salad dressing. —Robin Haas, Hyde Park, Massachusetts

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Thursday: Contest-Winning Hearty Hamburger Soup

At family get-togethers, our children always request this spirit-warming ground beef soup along with a fresh loaf of homemade bread and tall glasses of milk. This hamburger soup has robust flavor, plenty of fresh-tasting vegetables and is easy to make. —Barbara Brown, Janesville, Wisconsin

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Friday: Creamy Tuna-Noodle Casserole

When you need supper fast, this tuna noodle casserole makes a super one-dish meal. Cooked chicken breast works well in place of the tuna. —Edie DeSpain, Logan, Utah

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Saturday: Classic Chicken Potpie

Our neighbors and a friend from back home are always after me to make "those yummy potpies". That's all the encouragement I need, since we really like 'em, too! —Ada May Smith, Citrus Springs, Florida.

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Find more weekly meal plans here.

Canned goods are a great starting point for countless meals, including these. Each of this week’s dinners relies on canned foods—beans, tomatoes, tuna and more—to make your meal prep stress free.

Want to make your own plan? Check out our meal plan template.

April Weekly Meal Plans

A warm up is on the way! Celebrate spring this month with recipes featuring Mediterranean flavors, roast chicken and more. April is also a great month to get thrifty and experiment with making meals out of pantry staples or minimal ingredients. (After all, we’ve been saving up for spring break!)

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Easter Leftovers

A 7-Day Meal Plan with 4-Ingredient Dinners

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Taco Meat

A 7-Day Meal Plan With Roast Chicken

A 7-Day Mediterranean Dinners Meal Plan

March Weekly Meal Plans

Spring is on the horizon. As you start spending more time outdoors (goodbye, snow), make dinner quick with recipes that require just 15 minutes of prep. Making a big batch of meat and grains on Sunday also helps speed up weeknight dinners. And don’t forget about St. Patrick’s Day. We have ideas for the entire week—corned beef, reubens and other Irish-inspired meals.

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Rice

A 7-Day Meal Plan For St. Patrick's Day Week

A 7-Day 15-Minute Prep Meal Plan

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Slow Cooker Pot Roast

February Weekly Meal Plans

February may seem dull and dreary, but it does have some holidays and events. If you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with your special someone or observing Lent, we’ve got a meal plan for you. And if you’re in the mood to use your favorite small kitchen appliances—like the Instant Pot and slow cooker—to cook up some comfort food, you’ll find lots of ideas this month.

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Your Instant Pot

A 7-Day Meal Plan for Valentine's Day Week

A 7-Day Meal Plan During Lent

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Slow Cooker Chicken

January Weekly Meal Plans

January is all about starting fresh—and that applies to your meal plans, too! We’re enjoying lots of lightened-up meals, as well as classic comfort foods to keep us warm on cold nights. January is also a great month to experiment in the kitchen, whether that means trying a new global recipe or finally putting your Dutch oven to work. Stay warm out there!

A 7-Day Meal Plan of Healthy Meals

A 7-Day Meal Plan of Winter Dinners

A 7-Day Indian Dinners Meal Plan

A 7-Day Meal Plan of One-Pot Meals

A 7-Day Meal Plan of Kid-Friendly Dinners

December Weekly Meal Plans

If you ask us, December is the best month of the year. And whether you’re craving something healthy in between bites of Christmas cookies or you need ideas for using up leftovers, these meal plans have you covered. Plus, they’re all easy! (We know you’ve got your hands full with holiday prep).

A 7-Day Meal Plan of Freezer Meals

A 7-Day Meal Plan of Fresh Salads

A 7-Day Meal Plan Between Christmas and New Year's

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Leftover Ham

November Weekly Meal Plans

We look forward to November all year long. And while Thanksgiving Day is a major food holiday, the rest of the month doesn’t have to be quite as laborious. That’s why we love these oh-so-simple meal plans for sheet pan suppers, 5-minute meals and more. There’s nothing wrong with taking it easy!

A 7-Day Meal Plan of Sheet Pan Suppers

A 7-Day Meal Plan with Prep-Ahead Soups

A 7-Day Meal Plan with 5-Minute Meals

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Leftovers

October Weekly Meal Plans

Fall is in full swing, and we are loving seasonal ingredients. This month, incorporate pumpkin, squash, Brussels sprouts and more autumnal produce into your meals. This is also a great month to dig into cozy casseroles and hearty German eats (Hello, Oktoberfest!).

A 7-Day Meal Plan Featuring Fall Flavors

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using a Rotisserie Chicken

A 7-Day German Meal Plan

A 7-Day Meal Plan with Fall Casseroles

10 Recipes with 10 Ingredients

September Weekly Meal Plans

September brings a lot of change—cooler weather, back to school and shorter days. Make the most of it with prep-ahead meals, global eats and plans that incorporate your favorite kitchen appliances.

A 7-Day Meal Plan of September Dinners

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Appliances

A 7-Day Greek Meal Plan

A 7-Day Meal Plan with Prep-Ahead Casseroles

August Weekly Meal Plans

The dog days of summer are here. Cool off with summer meal plans built around grilled meats, family favorites and simple ingredients. This is a great month to take advantage of peak seasonal produce, too. (We’re serving sliced watermelon with almost every meal!)

A 7-Day Meal Plan for the Summer

A 7-Day Plan Using Marinated Chicken

A 7-Day Asian Meal Plan

A 7-Day School Night Dinner Plan

A 7-Day Italian Meal Plan

July Weekly Meal Plans

Lazy summer days are coming right up. Enjoy easy, no-cook meals, 30-minute plans and more. Plus, since we know your garden is bursting, find creative ways to utilize fresh basil or mushrooms. Our goal is to help you cook less so you can enjoy more time outdoors.

A 7-Day Meal Plan of No-Cook Dinners

A 7-Day 30-Minute Summer Meal Plan

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Fresh Basil

A 7-Day Meal Plan with Mushrooms

June Weekly Meal Plans

Longer, warmer days have us wanting to eat a little lighter. This month we’re enjoying simple meals and meat-free entrees. At the store (or farmers market!), keep an eye out for tons of fresh summer fruits and leafy greens.

A 7-Day Meal Plan Repeating Favorite Dinners

A 7-Day Meal Plan That Keeps It Simple

A 7-Day Vegetarian Dinners Meal Plan

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Hard-Boiled Eggs

May Weekly Meal Plans

See ya spring—and hello summer! May is a great transition month and the perfect time to start experimenting with fresh flavors in your kitchen. Put seasonal ingredients to work, like tomatoes and grilled chicken, and enjoy time well spent on the patio.

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Spaghetti Sauce

A 7-Day Meal Plan with Grilled Chicken

A 7-Day Meal Plan with Theme Nights

A 7-Day Meal Plan Using Summer Produce

How do I make my weekly meal plan?

In the mood to make your own meal plan? We suggest starting with a few core ingredients that you can use throughout the week. Roast chicken, for example, can work as a Sunday night dinner, a Monday night taco filling and a Tuesday soup starter. We also recommend picking simple, family-friendly meals. After all, meal planning is supposed to make your life easier—don’t feel pressured to whip up a 27-step gourmet meal after a busy day.

Editor’s tip: If you’re on a budget, use grocery store sale flyers to guide your ingredient selection.

What meals can I cook for a week?

Most meal plans focus on dinner, but you can also meal plan for breakfast and lunch—or all three! To save time, we recommend repeating meals for breakfast and lunch. Overnight oats are a great meal prep option to enjoy all week. And a big batch of grains, roasted veggies and grilled chicken prepared on Sunday can feed you for lunch the entire week.

If you’re looking for meal plans that fit a particular lifestyle, check out our low-carb meal plan, vegetarian meal plan and vegan meal plan. We also have tips for creating a healthy meal plan, too.

Next up: How to Stock Your Pantry According to Our Kitchen Expert

The post Your Weekly Meal Planner appeared first on Taste of Home.

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[ernmark]

My 2017 Tumblr Top 10

Let’s do a year review, shall we?

So I had a few posts go super viral this year, which was... a little bit confounding. Thank God for notification block. 

1). 62,262 notes - 11 October 2017

Just learned about garden path sentences. They’re basically a literary prank– the sentence starts out in such a way that you...

All of the responses to this one are either “Thanks, I hate it”, “I love it”, “so THAT’S what it’s called!”, incorrect assertions that these sentences all need commas, and people pointing out that other languages have these too. 

2). 46,081 notes - 15 July 2017

Dear god, sleepy intimacy makes me so very happy. One person sleeping with their head on the other person’s lap. Getting all...

Responses to these tend to be people telling really adorable stories about their own experiences with this sort of thing, people talking about how they’d like that to happen to them someday, people talking about their OTP, “sounds fake but okay”, and a few edgelords who left some some super depressing shit on my fluffy post.  

3). 44,961 notes - 07 March 2017

During a conversation with my manager this morning, she mentioned that her manager-- the district manager-- had told her...

The TL;DR version of this is that abusive employers tend to tell people that “you should only be here if you’re passionate!” as an excuse for not paying you what you’re worth. This one got surprisingly popular in the sex worker community, which... yeah, legit. Other fields that get hit hard are anything in the arts, people who work with children and the elderly, interns, freelancers, people in medical professionals, teachers, and anybody who works with animals. My heart goes out to you all.

4). 23,732 notes - 25 November 2017

I’m running a canned campaign in a sci-fi setting Totally not-shady NPC: I’ll need you to retrieve my secret cargo from the...

I find it hilarious how many people’s first response is “oh my god, that thing from Firefly!” and how many people went “lol this trope, but Firefly totally subverts it because--”. Let me just clarify: it does not. It super does not subvert the trope. 

5). 1,189 notes - 28 December 2017

So my friend Kya works at a doggy daycare, and she sent me this: Juno Steel, Private Eye: Rita: Peter Nureyev: Mayor Ramses...

This is my only Penumbra Podcast post to break a thousand notes, and that’s probably because at least a third of the people who reblogged it assumed that those were the dogs’ names, rather than the Penumbra characters that the dogs reminded my friend of. I find this absolutely hilarious. 

6). 417 notes - 08 January 2017

Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won’t. This is what love...

It’s only fitting that my first post to actually take off and get attention this year was a total appropriation of a Welcome to Night Vale quote. At least I cited my source.

7). 398 notes - 20 March 2017

The Penumbra Musical

This one feels like it got a lot bigger than it actually did, because there was a whole torrent of responses and asks and submissions about this thing. There were people writing songs for a theoretical Penumbra musical, talking about the styles of songs that would be most appropriate for each act, etc. It was a delight, but honestly, I got a bit burnt out by the end.

8). 394 notes - 11 November 2017

All this time I’ve expected a certain pattern to play out in Juno and Peter’s reunion: Peter is snippy, even mean; Juno is...

You know what’s better than character analysis? Angsty character analysis. 

9). 372 notes - 20 December 2017

When I worked in a tea shop, I actually got a few people coming in requesting jasmine tea. Why jasmine? Because that’s what...

A:tLA was my first venture into deep fandom, with shipping wars and fanfic and deep deep analysis. I’m glad it could make it into my top 10.

10). 367 notes - 14 August 2017

Here’s to Juno Steel, who falls in love the way other people fall down a flight of stairs

Submitted without comment.

Created by TumblrTop10

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): All right, we’re back by popular (?) demand with our second 2020 “dropout” draft. That’s right, we’re not discussing who we think will win the Democratic nomination; instead, we’re debating who we think will drop out next.

On Friday, Former Texas Congressman Beto O’Rourke became the ninth candidate to drop out since California Rep. Eric Swalwell dropped out in July. So now the question is: How many more candidates do we think will join their ranks before the Dec. 19 debate?

The rules are simple: Three rounds (with three of us playing, that means nine picks in total) in which we pick from among the candidates FiveThirtyEight considers “major.” No

draft, because, well, that would be nuts. Whoever’s “team” includes the most candidates who drop out by the December debate will be the winner.

The order:

Nathaniel

Sarah

Geoffrey

OK, you’re up, Nathaniel!

nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, elections analyst): I’d just like to take a moment to congratulate Geoffrey on winning our first dropout draft.

All three of his picks dropped out.

Who will drop out before the October debate?

Round Geoff Nathaniel Sarah 1 John Hickenlooper Seth Moulton Kirsten Gillibrand 2 Tim Ryan Jay Inslee Bill de Blasio 3 Beto O’Rourke Steve Bullock Michael Bennet

sarahf: Hahaha, but technically two of his picks dropped out after the October debate though.

So …

nrakich: I think this draft is a lot harder, too, because a lot of the obvious dropout candidates have, well, dropped out.

But with my first pick, I choose former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julián Castro.

Castro is almost certainly not going to make the November debate — he has gotten zero qualifying polls, and there’s only a week left to qualify.

sarahf: Good pick (furiously reorders roster).

nrakich: And Castro got in this race to win — i.e., he’s not a John Delaney who’s just running for the heck of it.

So for a candidate like Castro (and O’Rourke before him), there’s really no point to continuing your campaign if you’re not in the debates.

sarahf: I mean Castro has essentially said as much — he’s sent at least one email to supporters where he’s said that if he did not qualify for the November debate, it would “be the end of my campaign.”

nrakich: He also has an incredibly high burn rate and ended the third quarter with just $1.1 million on hand.

His recent campaign moves (laying off staffers in New Hampshire and South Carolina) also suggest to me that he’s running on fumes.

Also… Just gonna leave this here… The filing deadline for the Texas U.S. Senate race is Dec. 9.

Now, Castro has said that he wouldn’t run for Senate. But, as John Hickenlooper can tell you, talk is cheap.

geoffrey.skelley (Geoffrey Skelley, elections analyst): Oh, that would be a particularly crazy curveball!

nrakich: On the other hand, he’d be a pretty natural VP choice for any of the current presidential front-runners, which could be a reason for him to just sit at home and wait by the phone.

sarahf: Oof, I guess that means I’m up.

I’m going with the other low hanging fruit out here … Sen. Cory Booker.

geoffrey.skelley: Oh! My pick. Dang.

nrakich: Whoa!

Interesting — I had him ranked seventh on my board.

This is a Gillibrand-esque pick, Sarah. Which probably means you’ll be right.

sarahf: Ha, I don’t know about that. But no matter how you slice it, this primary has not had a lot of breaks for Booker. Despite being a talented politician, he’s continually languished at what — 2 or 3 percent in the polls? Granted, he has made the November debate. But I do think making the December debate — while not impossible — will be a stretch for him with the higher thresholds (4 percent support in four national or early-state polls or 6 percent in two early-state polls). After all, he doesn’t have a single qualifying poll yet.

And similar to Kirsten Gillibrand, he still has a career in the Senate, so if it looks like he won’t make December (hitting that 4 percent threshold is going to be hard), I think he bows out. I mean, when was the last time Booker even hit 4 percent in a poll?

geoffrey.skelley: Booker last hit 4 percent in a debate-qualifying poll from Monmouth University in late August. He hasn’t managed to pull that off in a November or December debate poll yet.

sarahf: So tell us, Nathaniel, why did you have him so low on your draft list?

nrakich: I guess I didn’t realize how long Booker’s odds were to make the December debate.

I do think he’ll last another month, though, since as you said he’s qualified for November already.

And I think there are other candidates who will drop out first.

It’s worth noting, though, that Booker’s net approval rating (approval rating minus disapproval rating) among registered voters in his home state of New Jersey is down to +5, per Monmouth. That’s a decrease from +23 last year!

Mind you, I don’t think he’s in serious danger of losing reelection (he’s up in 2020), but he might not want to keep letting that discontent fester.

sarahf: Eesh, yeah. OK, Geoff you’re up!

geoffrey.skelley: Hmm, well you guys took the top two people on my list:

nrakich: Haha.

I used pen and paper. Old school.

geoffrey.skelley: So unlike Castro and Booker, my pick is someone who may not be thinking about her political future: Marianne Williamson. And her exit comes down to money, in my mind.

nrakich: Yes, good pick.

geoffrey.skelley: She had about $700,000 in the bank at the end of the third quarter, and a burn rate of nearly 90 percent. This makes me wonder if she can keep things going. I know she has a lot of small-donor potential, but we also haven’t heard her campaign talking about passing debate donor thresholds in a while, either.

sarahf: It does seem as if a lot of the most likely candidates to drop out are the ones with money woes (see O’Rourke, Ryan).

nrakich: And she hasn’t made any debates since the thresholds increased.

geoffrey.skelley: Yeah, the last debate she made was in July. She hit the donor requirements for the September and October debate, but didn’t meet the polling threshold. So it’s hard to imagine her making the November or December debate given that.

nrakich: Yeah, I agree — if Williamson wants to keep running, she’s going to have to run a leaner campaign. We’ll see how much her heart is really set on being president, I guess.

geoffrey.skelley: “Leaner” is probably a good lead-in to some of our next choices, I would guess.

sarahf: I’d argue she had Tulsi-Gabbard energy in terms of building a dedicated following, but I suppose her fan base had its limitations.

OK, you’re up, Nathaniel!

nrakich: With my second pick, I’ll go with my one pick from the last draft who’s still in the race: Montana Gov. Steve Bullock.

The same reasons still apply: His campaign has not gained traction. He hasn’t made a debate since July. Eventually, you ask yourself, what’s the point?

And considering the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee is probably whispering in his ear about running for U.S. Senate in Montana — where he’s basically the only Democrat who could make that seat competitive — there’s a strong argument for him dropping out soon.

Although he, too, has denied interest in running for Senate, I could see him pulling a Hickenlooper.

geoffrey.skelley: Democrats would certainly welcome that development in Montana. Election forecasters seem pretty confident that Republican Sen. Steve Daines will win reelection. Bullock entering the race could make things interesting, though.

nrakich: Yeah. Basically, he’s one of the few presidential candidates left with a political incentive to drop out sooner rather than later.

He’s not doing great on the money front, either ($1.4 million on hand), although he’s running a pretty lean campaign (he spent $2.4 million last quarter).

sarahf: OK, I’ve got a ~ risky pick. ~ Risky because she did just qualify for the December debate, but … Kamala Harris.

nrakich: Readers, Sarah has flown too close to the sun.

geoffrey.skelley: I’m not so sure, Nathaniel — Harris was higher than I expected on my list, too.

nrakich: Wow, outnumbered.

sarahf: Ha, Nathaniel is probably right. But hear me out! Harris seems stuck at around 4 percent in the national polling averages, and considering she once hit 15 percent nationally, it seems as if the trend for Harris after the first debate has been losing supporters. She was once fourth nationally, but Pete Buttigieg has edged her out, I think. And as Geoff noted in his piece on Warren’s rise in October, it’s possible that much of Harris’s support has shifted to Warren, as there is some demographic overlap in their support — both candidates have a fair amount of backing from college-educated voters and more progressive voters, meaning it could be really hard for her to win this support back, especially if Buttigieg does well with some of the same voters.

And similar to Castro, Harris has also been cutting staff operations, putting all her eggs in the Iowa basket, it would seem.

nrakich: So, here’s the difference for me between Castro and Harris. Castro’s decision seems to be clearly motivated by lack of cash. But Harris raised $12 million last quarter and had $10 million cash on hand. Her campaign staffing move doesn’t strike me as dire, but more so as strategic.

geoffrey.skelley: She’s only polling at around 3 percent in the Hawkeye State, though, so her campaign might be on the brink.

nrakich: But with all that money, Harris isn’t going to drop out for financial reasons. And she’s not going to drop out for debate reasons since, as you said, she’s already qualified for November and December. So why drop out?

sarahf: It’s a fair point, and obviously she’s in much better shape than some of the other candidates still running (cough, Joe Sestak), but I don’t think Harris has run a good campaign. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why, but I thought our colleague Perry Bacon did a nice job outlining some of the pitfalls of her campaign. Namely, I think flip-flopping on issues like health care has cost her — and with a field this large, any misstep can have pretty big consequences, especially if, as Perry notes, the field already has a lot of good candidates. And since she’s yet another Democratic senator who has too much of a political career left to stay in if it becomes clear that the party is coalescing around one or two other candidates, I think it makes sense for her to make an early exit — especially if this November debate doesn’t move the dial for her.

geoffrey.skelley: There’s certainly a world where President Trump wins reelection in 2020 and Harris is a leading candidate for the 2024 Democratic nomination.

nrakich: I dunno, I just think she still has a lot of potential — and a lot of runway to convert that potential into reality. I agree that it’s bad for her that she’s only stood out in one out of the four debates. But I think she has the talent to make another splash, and then she’s right back in it given her twin appeals to college-educated whites and black voters.

geoffrey.skelley: Fair point. Plus, Warren’s upward movement in the polls may be ebbing as she’s attracting more scrutiny as a front-runner, so perhaps Harris can take back some of the support she may have lost to Warren.

sarahf: It was a risky pick! OK, Geoff — you’re up.

geoffrey.skelley: Hmm, well, there’s one name left from our last dropout draft who’s still in the race, and I’m going to pick him: Michael Bennet. Similar story to Bullock in that he’s barely graced the debate stage and doesn’t have a ton of resources to keep a fledgling campaign going.

But unlike Bullock’s potential Senate consideration, Bennet isn’t faced with an electoral choice seeing as he was reelected to the Senate in 2016 and isn’t up again in Colorado until 2022.

And given the remaining names, I think he’s the most likely to drop out by mid-December.

sarahf: Good pick. I should have picked Bennet again!

nrakich: Agreed, Geoffrey. He was next on my board. Not a sexy pick, but he has a political career to tend to, and he can’t keep up a hopeless presidential run forever.

sarahf: He has gotten some interesting media coverage for someone who hasn’t made the debate stage in awhile, though. I thought this Politico piece where a reporter watched the last debate with Bennet was … a good profile for someone polling so poorly.

And I guess given Buttigieg’s success with his moderate pivot, I’m kind of surprised someone like Bennet didn’t do better?

geoffrey.skelley: Buttigieg is certainly more dynamic on the stump, and he’s got some interesting aspects to his bio that differ quite a bit from Bennet. Young, veteran, gay. Bennet, on the other hand, is sort of white bread.

Still, he’s only 54 years old and has a political future to worry about.

nrakich: Bennet is a conventionally qualified candidate, though. Experience in local and federal government. Son of a Carter and Clinton administration diplomat.

geoffrey.skelley: Yeah, we may well hear from him again on the national stage. He’s a battleground-state senator, so he might be on a VP shortlist, depending on who the nominee is.

See: 2016 — Tim Kaine, Virginia.

sarahf: OK, Nathaniel, you’re up.

LAST PICK.

nrakich: I pick former Rep. Joe Sestak.

Now, I have mixed feelings about this pick.

Sestak by far has the least cash of any major candidate — $204,561. So you’d think he’d be forced to drop out any day now.

BUT, you want to talk about lean campaigns. … He has spent only $169,634 since May. So at that rate, he could keep going if he wants to.

geoffrey.skelley: I suspect his campaign apparatus is basically him and maybe two other people.

nrakich: Ha, right.

The question is just how long he is going to continue a bare-bones presidential campaign that has basically consisted of him walking across states and meeting with a handful of curious voters in each town.

geoffrey.skelley: Could drop out tomorrow and it wouldn’t surprise me. Could also stay in until Iowa votes and it wouldn’t surprise me.

nrakich: Exactly.

sarahf: Yeah, I agree. It could go either way with very little repercussion.

sarahf: Oof, OK, for my last pick I’m going to try and be a little more measured — Tom Steyer.

geoffrey.skelley: Ohhh, interesting. This is definitely getting hard after Sestak!

sarahf: Indeed. And I know he has made the November debate, and heck, with all the money he’s dropping in the early states (which is where all his qualifying polls have come from), there’s reason to believe he could make the December debate, too. His burn rate is high, but again, given he’s a billionaire who’s largely self-funding his campaign, money doesn’t seem to be an obstacle.

But! He didn’t seem to wow people after his first debate performance. In fact, in our poll with Ipsos, he received one of the worst marks on average — and sure, he’s got money to burn, but I think if he can’t inch up his national support by December, he’s got to see the writing on the wall and bow out.

Of course, as I think about this more, maybe he’s the perfect candidate to cling on and wage a campaign of attrition, but I like to think he’d take the Bill de Blasio route and exit quietly.

nrakich: I don’t know. In the “self-funders” category, I think former Rep. John Delaney is likelier to drop out than Steyer. At least Steyer’s money is getting him into debates.

Delaney, on the other hand, has loaned his own campaign more than $24 million total for the cycle and has nothing to show for it.

At what point do you say, “Hm, I think I’d rather keep my money”?

geoffrey.skelley: I don’t know. He seems dedicated. Delaney completed the “Full Grassley” — named for Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley — by visiting every county in Iowa, and obviously, he has a ton of personal wealth to keep him going, so who knows.

sarahf: Ha. OK, Geoff, if not Delaney, who??? LAST LAST PICK.

geoffrey.skelley: So, in my mind, there are three candidates left to choose from — Tulsi Gabbard, Amy Klobuchar and Andrew Yang. None are very likely to drop out by mid-December. But I’d argue only one of them has anything to lose by staying in longer, and that’s Klobuchar. So she’s my pick, though I doubt she’ll drop out by mid-December.

I just don’t see Gabbard or Yang dropping out before her. Gabbard has decided she isn’t running for reelection in the House, and considering she’s no friend of the party establishment, it seems like she’s in it for the long haul. And Andrew Yang is an outsider pushing a pet issue — universal basic income — plus he has the Yang Gang propping him up, so I don’t see him leaving anytime soon either.

nrakich: Makes sense. But yeah, Klobuchar was way down my list because she’s actually just one poll away from making the December debate. And she may be experiencing an uptick of sorts on the heels of her fourth-debate performance, so I don’t expect her to just walk away from that.

geoffrey.skelley: Yeah, it wasn’t an easy choice. I just had an easier time seeing her leaving than Gabbard or Yang.

sarahf: Fair enough! This was hard — so we’ll see how we do this time around.

Who will drop out before the December debate?

Round Nathaniel Sarah GEoff 1 Julián Castro Cory Booker Marianne Williamson 2 Steve Bullock Kamala Harris Michael Bennet 3 Joe Sestak Tom Steyer Amy Klobuchar

[arplis]

Arplis - News: My 22 Goals for 2019

Goal #1 — Spend More Time Doing What I Love I think we only have about 60% of the boxes unpacked, but the best part is all nervous energy is gone and I don’t even care that we’re sleeping on a mattress on the floor or that our stuff is strewn all over the house.  In another week or so things will be in their place, we’ll have a proper bed to sleep in and I’ll have found the hairdryer. Moving is super stressful, but all the hard stuff is over now {well, the HH does still have to put the treadmill together but that’s his problem, not mine}. 😉 Goal #2 — Garden, Garden, Garden The color pallet for the front garden at the new place is going to be blue, pink, white and green. I’ve already ordered 200 white, and 200 pink tulip bulbs as well as 500 tiny grape hyacinth {muscari} to plant in the front flower bed. {Don’t you think that’s a dreamy color combination?} Now all I need to do is hunt down 9 blue hydrangea plants and about 36 baby gem boxwoods and I’ll be good to go. Oh, and maybe one or two pink common hibiscus for the tall corner in the front. And then HEY… I can settle in for winter and worry about the rest later. 😉 Also, I thought I’d mention that Botanical Interests is offering 30% off seeds right now in case you wanted to do a little late fall/winter sowing. {I’ll be planting a bunch of poppy seeds just before the first hard freeze}. Goal #3 — Plant an Orchard {Calling it Quits on this one.} I never did get around to planting an orchard, but Lemon and all but 2 of her babies survived the journey and the new place has a plum tree so that part is good. And, I think there might be room for an espalier tree or two at the back of the new house so I may get an orchard after all. But, it wouldn’t be planted until next spring. Goal #4 — Gussy Up the Potting Shed Done! I left the potting bench but took the party lights with me. Goal #5 — Grow Enough Extra Vegetables, Eggs and Flowers to Earn $1500 at my little roadside vegetable stand. It was totally my intention to grow a ton of fruits and vegetables to sell at the farm-stand when I made my list of goals for 2019 last winter, but then we moved. So, that whole goal was sort of a bust. The new peeps wanted the vegetable stand, and we were happy to leave it for them since it was made specifically to match the front of the house, so hopefully the tradition will continue. Goal #6 — Finish Every Single Unfinished Rug Hooking Project in My Pattern Bin + 10 Things from back Issues of Magazines/Books I’ve Been Meaning to Make.  I finally finished the turkey rug I’ve been working on the past few weeks along with a few other things and I was able to upload them to my Etsy shop this weekend. I also hooked another pumpkin and a cat head and will try to get those listed along with some new wool bundles later this week. I still have a ton of things to hook if I’m going to meet my goal of clearing out my pattern bin, but I think once November and December roll around, the HH won’t be able to pry me off the couch because I’ll be in full on hooking mode and I’ll be able to finish all my rugs by the end of the year. 73 rugs in my pattern bin {now down to 34} 183 hooked flowers {finished 133, now down to 51} 10 “things” from back issues of magazines {finished 0} Goal #7 — Create 12 New Rug Hooking Patterns {with at least half of them being large ones} DONE! So far this year I’ve added 12 new rug hooking patterns and 13 beginner rug hooking kits to my Etsy shop. New rug hooking patterns I’ve created and added to My Etsy Shop this year: Tullia and Thomas Turkey Double Nantucket Whale Runner Miss Henny and Penny Miss Penny Simple Kitty Primitive Flowers 2 Fat Cats Annabell’s Big Day Old Fashioned Double Tulip Fat Brown Hen Busy Little Bee Queen Bee Rug Hooking Kits Busy Little Bee {in 2 different colors} Folk Art Heart Small Nantucket Whale Primitive Crow Miss Robin {in 2 different colors} Simple Kitty Primitive Flowers Sunflowers A Basket of Spring Posies Fat Brown Hen Chicky’s Garden Goal #8 — Split and Stack 2 Cords of Wood for Next Winter  All that firewood! We sold it. 😉 Goal #9 — Do Something with the 5,002 Photos on My Phone Current number of photos on phone is 10 million. Goal #10 –Lose the Muffin Top I went out for a walk yesterday and guess what I spotted… A little hello from Mrs. HB. Hahaha! I still think it’s weird there are people walking the streets and picking their teeth. Why can’t they do this in the privacy of their own homes? WHY!? WHY!? I just don’t understand. *The shoes are made by DuckFeet style: Jylland {you can get a $30 off coupon HERE}. Someone always asks.  Goal #11 — Run, Walk or Crawl a 5k, 10k, Half Marathon and Marathon Hey! I have picked out not only a 5k Turkey Trot but a half marathon as well. Looks like this goal will be wrapped on Thanksgiving. Saaaweet! Goal #12 — Read or Listen to 26 New Books {17 down, 8 to go} I finished Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand and highly recommend it. And also requested a few more audiobooks. Currently on Request: I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron Mr. Churchill’s Secretary by Susan Elia MacNeal The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley Books I’ve Read or Listened to So Far This Year: Marilla of Green Gables #1 Still my favorite The Great Alone #2 The Aviator’s Wife #3 Before We Were Yours #4 Secrets of a Charmed Life #5 Where’d You Go, Bernadette #6 Carnegie’s Maid #7 The Gown #8 Unbroken #9 The Alice Network #10 The Shape of Mercy #11 Will’s Red Coat #12 Big Little Lies #13 Bunny Mellon  {Doesn’t count because it was my second time} On Writing {Doesn’t count because it was my third time} Walden Finder’s Keepers Delicious! Following Atticus Goal #13 — Try 52 New Recipes. 24 down, 30 recipes to go. OCTOBER. October is going to be my month for cooking! Goal #14 — Clean Up 52 Old Recipes on the Blog 9 down, 44 to go. I’ll get crackin’ once fall {and cooler temps} come around. Goal #15 — Fill 100 Canning Jars 48 down, 52 to go. I won’t be able to get any canning done in the next few weeks but I am planning on getting some jam on the shelves for us to use on toast as well as to give away this Christmas. I’ll probably need at least another month to get settled in though. Oh! And get this. The new house has a root cellar… AND the perfect spot for storing canned goods. 😉 I’ll have to show you the space when I get some time. So far this year I’ve I canned: 7 jars Peach Jam 7 jars of Strawberry Jam 15 jars of Carrot Cake Jam 15 jars of Spiced Pear Jam  4 jars of Almond Pears. Goal #16 — Finish Furnishing Our House So here’s the funny thing…. Even though we sold the old house and a boatload of furniture, I am still keeping this goal. I already have my eye on some pieces for the family room and then all I need is a new bed and we’re good to go. The new place is much smaller than the old one and so getting the entire house furnished by the end of the year, is going to be a snap. High five for downsizing. Goal #17 – 52 Dates with the HH {28 down, 24 to go} We went to a fancy-schmancy restaurant to celebrate.  😉 Goal #18 — Take One Adult Education Class Done {I’ve taken 3!} I’m keeping the first class I took with my neighbor top secret for now {Mel know’s what it is though} 😉 Spoon Carving Class with Heather. Mini pottery lesson {I loved it! and now I want to sign up for a full class} Goal #19 — Secret {for now} Holiday Project The big reveal will be on Friday, November 1st. So now you know why I had to push back the date on the big reveal. I have all the supplies on hand to get started and my practice piece done, but I still have boxes to unpack and the need to get the majority of the house in order before I start on the main holiday project as its going to need it’s own little assembly line set up. Goal #20 — Create 12 Wowie Zowie Party Platters 5 down, 7 to go. Finally! I made some pickety bits. 😉 Goal #21 — Visit 12 General Stores 8 down 4 to go. So far this year we’ve visited: Chase’s Daily {I think it should count} Squam Lake Marketplace Harrisville General Store Dodge’s Store in New Boston, New Hampshire Zeb’s General Store in North Conway, New Hampshire Dan and Whit’s in Norwich, Vermont Hussey’s General Store in Windsor, Maine Goal #22 — Compete with Carole….. Get on My Front Door Game On I can still compete with Carole from afar, right? Once we get closer to Halloween I’ll hang Mrs. HB’s spectacular Halloween wreath she sent me. But for now, I’ll settle for a few pumpkins and a swag of Indian corn on the door. Front Door Bling I’ve Made So Far This Year to Compete with Carole: Late January : Valentine Heart Late February : Shamrock Late March : Giant Carrot May: White wave petunia hanging basket June/July: Tin Star and Flag Bunting August : Sunflower September: Indian corn and pumpkins ************** How about YOU? What are your goals for 2019? If you told us about them HERE, check in! We want to know how you are doing. Because seriously, it’s so much easier to get those goals checked off your list when you have people rooting for you! 🙂 Have a great day everyone, Mavis You can read more about my 22 goals for 2019 HERE. Have a Great Day! The post – Week 38 of 52 appeared first on One Hundred Dollars a Month. This content was original published at One Hundred Dollars a Month and is copyrighted material. If you are reading this on another website it is being published without consent.          Comments So many questions…. *did Girl go with you? *oh no! Like ... by tia in boise A series on HOW you got rid of stuff would be helpful -garage ... by Anne The grape hyacinth image is lovely and reminds me of the ... by Mel Me too. I have been busy but somehow I must have missed that ... by Ginger Ha-ha! Yes, will HH be firing up the grill. by Ginger Plus 5 more... Related Stories – Week 39 of 52 – Week 37 of 52 – Week 36 of 52 #12GoalsForTheNewYear

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/my-22-goals-for-2020

[spraceaesthetic]

literally all for the crush ask game u deserve it

I frickin asked for this I guess uh here we go 😂1- Do they drink coffee?- aye but it goes to her head and she blurts whatever weird stuff comes to her mind and she mutters “did I just say that?” a lot2- are they left or right handed?- I’m pretty sure right?3- how do they do their hair?- she has a lot of really curly hair so mostly a pony tail and she plays with it a lot it’s cute4- what’s their favorite animal?- idk but she has a pretty cute dog5- what is their relationship status?- single(!)6- what is their favorite band/singer?- her favorite musical is come from away7- are they a cat person or dog person?- dog8-what does their laugh sound like?- either low bubbles or high cackles with tears in her eyes9- do they know multiple languages? Which?- she’s in Spanish 2 and also knows this language that I’m blanking on the name but it’s a blend of a couple?? 10- how old are they? How old are you?- she’s 14.5 (she says this) and I’m 1511- one word that describes them- sunshine12- do they have any pets?- doggo!13- what is their favorite tv show?- idk we mostly talk about musicals, ik she likes doctor who though14- what is their favorite movie?- same thing as above15- what car do they drive?- she’s 14.5 and can’t learn yet16- what ethnicity/nationality are they- ik her mom is Spanish but there’s a lot of different ethnicities and cultures in her family so idk what she would consider herself17- where did you first meet them?- in rehearsal18- what was your first meeting like?- We started casually talking in the hall waiting for rehearsal to start, but we didn’t really start like talking a lot until we went to a show with a few other cast members and sat across from each other at dinner19- what is their zodiac sign? Are you compatible?- she’s a Leo and I’m a Scorpio, so somewhat compatible but depends on the individuals20- what month is their birthday?- presumably July or august since she’s a Leo lol21- what is your favorite outfit on them?- I love the suit she wears for our show, but she also has a cool sweatshirt with paper cranes on it that I like22- are they a good texter?- yes, she sends me cheese puns23- your favorite feature about their appearance?- her eyes are so sparkly and deep ahhh24- your favorite thing about their personality?- she’s charismatic and intense, great at making everyone feel comfortable in her presence 25- do they make you laugh- yEs?! Sometimes I start laughing so hard I’m crying and she calls me adorable I’m d e c e a s e d26- do you make them laugh?- somehow, but mostly bc I’m laughing and my laugh makes her laugh27- are they a good hugger?- we’ve only like half hugged before, we mostly do those weird high fives when we walk past each other backstage where you grab their hand and slowly let go as you continue on your way28- what is your favorite “flaw” that they have?- she recycles puns all the time and thinks I won’t call her out, dabs too much29- are they nice to strangers?- sO NICE30- what is the funniest thing they have ever said?- “James can wear whatever bra he wants” on wearing a hot pink bra under her costume bc the vest covers it up perfectly31- saddest?- N/A32- weirdest?- muttering to herself in the mirror about a certain song lyric that doesn’t make sense and referring to herself in third person while fixing her hair 33- cutest?- “do you come here often?” When she was trying to ask if I did many shows at the theatre, but we were in a restaurant so odd wording XD34- ever dreamt about them? What happened?- not sure I just remember she was there and she was wearing yellow and I told her she looked lovely in yellow35- how tall are they? How tall are you?- I’m not sure, I’m 5'5" but she’s only slightly shorter than me so maybe 5'4"?36- do they have a booty?- a lil 😝37- what are their hobbies?- theatre, but it’s more of a profession i guess?38- what are their talents?- she’s a theatre triple threat, but I love her singing the most. 39- what would your dream date be with them?- going to see a show, I’ve also always wanted someone who would go to an aquarium with me40- does anyone know about your crush?- like all my friends at school bc i never shut up. In the cast only my wing girl knows41- what do you guys have in common?- love of theatre and puns, and we have the same type of humor. 42- do they go to the gym?- she dances a lot so yeah ish43- do they go by their given name?- yes44-what is their favorite color?- goood question?45- how far apart do you live?- only a bit, we don’t go to the same high school but since we’re at the same theatre a lot it’d have to be fairly close46- what song reminds you of them?- the songs from our show, especially her solos. 47- do they listen to a lot of music?- indeed48- what do they smell like?- comforting, soft49- if they were in a book how would the writer describe them?- made of sunshine and light with a sparkle in her eyes, a bounce in her step and a confident, smooth voice that made people inextricably drawn towards her. 50- how often do you see them?- since we’ve had tech week it’s been every day, but now I don’t see her until weekends and I’ll see her less after we close 😫51- the last text/message they sent you- I was sad so I asked for a pun and she replied with “sorry I don’t have any, I stink. Wait, do you want to hear the one about my socks? Oh wait, that stinks too”52- the last thing they said to you in public- difficult? Probably break a leg after our convo before our show. 53- what is the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you in front of them?- I regularly make a fool of myself but one time she and my friend fuckin roasted me bc I have a terrible sense of direction and got lost in a space that’s essentially a box54- do they have any tattoos or piercings?- just ear lobe piercings I think55- what color are their eyes?- brown 56- what is their clothing style?- casual and comfortable, lots of graphic tees and leggings57- what is one thing that makes them special?- her intensity in everything she does58- will you tell your crush your feelings?- I hope to by closing night at the latest??59- how long did you know them before you started falling for them?- not very long lol. Our first conversation hadn’t really happened but I couldn’t stop staring at her, that’s a little creepy sounding but uh yeah60- was there a defining moment when you knew you liked them?- I was bored and looking around during notes, she was playing with her hair and sitting in a sunbeam and I was thinking about how talented she was when I realized “oh shit I like this fucker”

[whenismuna]

all?

1. Name: stephanie, steph, stoof, mistake

2. Birthplace: iowa bye

3. Ancestry: german and swedish aka whitest of the whites

4. Zodiac Sign: aries :)

5. Biggest fear: lmao being alone and losing trust in the people i care about most haha

6. Strength/Weakness: nothing/everything

7. Worst habit: breathing

8. Favorite holiday: halloween

9. Ever been in a car crash: almost

10. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: lol who hasnt

11. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house: fill up my water and take off my pants

12. Age at first kiss: 17

13. When did you fall in love for the first time: 17

14. Who Is Your Longest Friend & How Long: michelle, the loml, 10 1/2 years :’)

15. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: dont die maybe

16. What were you doing at midnight last night: listening to after laughter

17. When was the last time you laughed hard: this morning talking to michelle

18. Who was the last person that told you they love you: michelle :’)

19. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up yesterday morning: how am i supposed to know bye

20. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with: very first date was a double-date with my then-friend and our then-boyfriends and we saw that movie with justin timberlake about time?

21. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen: my moms :)

22. Who did you see in concert first: weird al in like 4th grade

23. Who was your favorite teacher: SARAH JACKSON MY MOTHER I LOVE HER THE REAL LOML

24. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day: michelle

25. Who do you think about most: michelle or carly rae jepsen

26. Is your ideal occupation? doing anything with animal husbandry/rehabilitation

27. Beer, wine, or liquor? liquor 100%

28. Favourite restaurant? old sammy t’s or maybe legume

29. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? ben and jerrys americone dream

30. McDonlads or Burger King? neither?

31. Fantasy dinner guest(s)? crj, griffin mcelroy, rachel carson

32. Have you ever been drunk? When was the last time? yee like january wtf

33. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? lmao i sent michelle a bunch of snaps once crying about how much i love dogs

34. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman? wonder woman

35. How many pets do you have? none but i wanna get a kenyan sand boa so bad :(

36. What would be the first thing you bought if you won the lottery? an education

37. When was the first time you smoked? like july?

38. Who last sent you a text? delaney

39. Who did you last send a text to? delaney

40. What 4 things would you take to a desert island? rope, a knife, a lighter, and plastic wrap

41. Name the 3 most important people in your life? michelle delaney and nay

42. Favorite song? rn probably fake happy tbh

43. Favorite movie? always hsm bye

44. When did you last cuddle someone? last night :)

45. When did you last have sex? tuesday

46. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? so much oh my god

47. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? i mean this time five years ago i was getting ready to go to camp for the first time so i was probably worried about people liking me and like some of my best friends are from camp so obviously thats not a fear anymore

48. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be? just one?

49. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go? literally none

50. Where would you take a road trip? everywhere

51. How do Mondays feel for you? time isnt real. i havent known what day it is for the past month

52. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them? “hi rachel yeah a) are u gay, b) will you marry me?”

53. Do your practice ‘self love’ or ‘self loathing’? love in theory but loathing in practice

54. What’s your greatest achievement to date? beating a game of solitaire in 25 seconds

55. What scares you about your future? literally everything

56. Why does pizza come in a square box? idk?

57. What would happen if you knew you could not fail? id already have my dream job tbh

58. How does it feel to be photographed? if its on my terms, very nice, otherwise no

59. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose? all of middle school

60. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’? trick question, i dont want kids

61. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others? im the most non-confrontational person i know but if it really gets to morals i will absolutely stand for what i believe in

62. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life? travel

63. What are you thankful for, this moment? my friends

64. Do you have same sex fantasies? im gay?

65. If you have had sex in a public place, where? nope

66. Have you ever cried during/after sex? nope

67. Who is the oldest person you’ve had sex with? 25

68. Who is the youngest person you’ve had sex with? 19

69. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a totally dominant partner? dom bye

70. How tall are you? 5′10 bye

71. How much do you weigh? lmao i dont even know. i havent weighed myself in so long like i dont care lowkey

72. What color is your hair naturally? brown

73. What size jeans do you wear? umm???? 10??? 12????? idk

74. What is your favorite color to wear? black

75. Do you have any piercings? no :(

76. Do you have any tattoos? no :(

77. Do you care how other people see you? sometimes

78. Do you like sports? eh

79. How do you feel about age differences in relationships? it depends. as long as its not a huge age gap its fine idk

80. How do you feel about race differences in relationships? why would that matter?

81. Do you believe in karma or fate? both? more karma though

82. Do you keep a journal? i used to

83. Describe the last dream you remember: i was at delaneys house and her and her mom were showing me around the house and i was sobbing

84. Describe your favorite dream: see above

85. Where are some places you would like to visit? everywhere

86. Any upcoming concerts you want to attend? harry styles, handsome ghost, misterwives

87. What music do you listen to when you are happy? it depends? mostly carly rae jepsen tho lbr

88. What music do you listen to when you are mad? mostly folie a deux or vices or something

89. Do you like to burn candles or incense? candles

90. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? oh yikes becherovka

91. What are your favorite alcoholic beverages? anything fruity

92. Do you smoke cigarettes or cigars? What about marijuana? nope

93. Who is your number 1 friend and why is he or she there? MICHELLE!!!!! we are soulmates and tbh i swear we were friends in a past life and when we met we knew because we were instantly best friends and i trust her with my life and tbh i could write a 10 page paper on why i love her and why shes my best friend bc wow a+ what a gal i love her so much and she will always be my #1. i am michelle trash #1

94. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? nope

95. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? yeah probably

96. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath? nope

97. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? im gay

98. Do you think your last ex still wants to be with you? lmao tbh who cares im so over that and like lowkey if she sees this i dont really care bc like so much happened and also i have agf now so it doesnt even matter?

99. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? IM GAY

100. What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual people? I AM GAY

101. How often do you brush your teeth? depends on if im in a depressive episode or not, but usually at least twice a day

102. How often do you shower?  When was the last time you had a shower? depends on if im in a depressive episode or not but usually every day, and i showered yesterday

103. How often do you shave your legs? lmao like once a week maybe, that also depends on seasons and stuff

104. Political affiliation? liberal 100% like?

105. Opinion on abortion? jesus christ i dont care like im not boutta stop yall

106. Opinion on immigrants/ immigration reform? we need reform bc people need help and we cant just let them die yknow?

107. Should prostitution be legalized? oh god this is lowkey a super loaded question like theres a lot that would go into this holy shit

108. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? literally what does even mean

109. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? good question

110. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? just one?

111. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? being at camp

112. Would you break the law to save a loved one? it depends? but probably?

113. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? probably france? idk i just always liked it?

114. Why are you the person you are? jesus i wish i knew

115. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? id like to think so?

116. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? misunderstandings 

117. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? so many things

118. Were you happy when you woke up today? i mean i got to facetime michelle so

119. What’s a fact about the last person who text messaged you? shes such a good friend and i miss her and i cant wait to hopefully see her in august bc wow its been almost 2 years since we saw each other and i cry every day

120. Want someone back in your life? my grandpa tbh

121. What are you excited for? a lot actually for once

122. Are you scared to fall in love? absolutely terrified 

123. When is your next road trip? um i guess june because im going to pennsylvania?

124. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? listened to harrys album

125. Do you like to cuddle? yeS

126. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours? nope

127. Plans for tomorrow? i have no clue

128. Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? probably too much

129. How is life going for you right now? um id say pretty good. definitely better than it was at this point last year

130. If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept? maybe? idk

131. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? haha yeah lol

132. Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? i have before so... yes.

133. If you could have one super power what would it be? idk man

134. Background on your cell phone? my dog :’(

135. What are you thinking about right this second? after laughter and how sad/relatable it is ://////

136. Last book you read? How was it? um i still havent finished it but oil and honey and its so good i love bill mckibben so much

137. What is the last thing you bought? halsey tickets :’)

138. Do you live with your parents? yea

139. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? theres really no “sneaking out” of my house anymore bc my dad trusts me to not fuck up?

140. Have you ever met a celebrity? tyler joseph oh my god aleX CAPLOW WOW

141. What are you like when you’re drunk? im super laughy. im a typical drunk girl like idc

142. What are you like when you’re high? chill idk

143. Do you want children? not really

144. Do you want a church wedding? idk probably not tbh

145. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 but i have 4 that i lay on my bed?

146. Have you ever been scuba diving? yeah i wanna go again and get certified tbh

147. Who was your first real crush? yikEs

148. What are you allergic to? nothing i am perfect, evolution did me well

149. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? nope

150. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? neither

151. How did you get your name? my mom chose it 20 minutes before i was born

152. Name one thing about your body you love? my eyes/eyebrows :)

153. What is your biggest goal in life? be happy and have a job that i love

154. Do you still have feelings for your ex? nope

155. Do you think aliens are real? absolutely

156. What age did you start drinking? 15? 16? 17? i dont know

157. What do you think of President Obama? overall good

158. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i sure hope so?

159. Describe your dream girl/guy? my gf :)

160. Story of your first kiss? lmao nop

161. Story of the first time you made out with someone? lmAO NOPE

162. Story of the first time you had sex? FUCK NOP

163. When did you first have sex? 18 bye

164. First time you gave/ received oral sex? 18 jesus

165. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? nope but im gonna have to soon kill me i want to die

167. Favorite fictional character (movie, book, tv show)? cosima niehaus

168. How many followers do you have on tumblr? What about twitter/ instagram? 500 something idk? twitter like 200 something and insta 200 something too? idk im not really on insta anymore?

169. Are you friend with your parents on Facebook? who isnt?

170. First time you thought you were in love? When did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person? haha lol wow what a mistake jahahahaha

171. Do you talk to yourself? constantly

172. How old will you be on your next birthday? 20 what the fuck

173. How did you meet the last person you kissed? we were in public speaking together rip

174. Do you have any hickies? yea

175. Turn ons? girls

176. Turn offs? boys

177. What qualities did you get from your mom? all of my bad qualities

178. What qualities did you get from your dad? also all of my bad qualities

179. How many siblings do you have? 2 older brothers

180. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity? nope

[biofunmy]

63 Years Between Kisses – The New York Times

On the June day in 1956 when a young woman named Annette Adkins left Woodbridge, Va., to spend the summer with relatives in Kentucky, Bob Harvey lost the love of his life.

Mr. Harvey, who had slow danced with her weeks earlier at the junior prom, remembers seeing her get in a 1955 tan Pontiac, with a Marine Corps sticker on the bumper. She waved a shy goodbye out the back window as the car drove off and he wiped away tears.

“She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen,” said Mr. Harvey, 80, of King George, Va. “I was totally, 100 percent in love with her.”

It was if he knew right then and there he would have to wait 63 years for his next kiss with her.

Because a summer apart felt eternal, he sold his hunting rifle to fund his long-distance calls while she was away. But, within the month, and after only a few conversations, he ran out of money. He spent the rest of the summer waiting for her to return for the start of their senior year at Gar-Field High School.

When she did, it wasn’t the reunion he had wished for. And she would eventually be going by a new name as the wife of her newfound summer love, John Callahan.

When Mr. Harvey first met Ms. Callahan, she had just moved to Woodbridge to live with her cousin Betty Nichols at the start of their junior year. There hadn’t been much to do in her hometown Pikeville, Ky. “I couldn’t go to football games or really have a social life there,” she said. Woodbridge provided teenage intrigue almost immediately.

In study hall, all eyes were on the new girl. “I couldn’t take my eyes off her,” Mr. Harvey said. “She had auburn hair and a stunningly beautiful face and her eyes were just, wow.”

During one of her first few study halls, Ms. Callahan noticed Mr. Harvey passing notes to a girl she rode the school bus with, Shirley Pemberton. “One day I saw Shirley on the bus and I said, ‘Do you like Bob Harvey? I’ve seen you passing notes with him,’” Ms. Callahan said. “She said, ‘No, he’s passing me notes because he’s wanting to know about you.’”

Ms. Callahan, 80, now of Gahanna, Ohio, was thrilled. “He was handsome and tall and a football player,” she said. Still, when Mr. Harvey asked her to a school dance as a first date, she declined. “I came from a real small country town, and I didn’t know how to dance and I was shy.” She decided she would learn from the paperboy, a classmate who asked her to the same dance but wasn’t as compelling.

“I thought, I’ll go with him and learn to dance, and if Bob asks me out again I’ll be ready,” she said. “And then who was at the door collecting our tickets but Bob?” Mr. Harvey, heavy-hearted that she was there with another boy, asked Ms. Callahan to dance that night anyway. She said yes. “I was so timid I was trembling. I wanted him to like me.”

In that department, she needn’t have worried.

But when Ms. Callahan left that summer, their time apart loosened teenage heartstrings. From Kentucky, she journeyed to Miami Beach to stay with an aunt and uncle and there, she met Mr. Callahan, whom she would marry five years later.

When she returned to Woodbridge for senior year, Mr. Harvey was eager to make up for lost time. He approached her at her locker with his arms outstretched. “I said, ‘Bob, I met someone else. I’m sorry. I don’t want to date you anymore,’” she recalled. “Now it sounds unkind to me. But at that time I didn’t want to lead him on.”

Mr. Harvey was devastated. “I still loved her tremendously,” he said. “But being a Southern gentleman, I knew I had to respect what she said.”

They went their separate ways that school year, both feeling lonesome. Mr. Harvey only had eyes for Ms. Callahan. Ms. Callahan’s new boyfriend and future husband lived far away in Ashland, Ky. As the 1957 prom season swept in, though, another new girl arrived at Gar-Field High. “She had long red hair and freckles and looked like Maureen O’Hara,” Mr. Harvey said. Her name was Diane Swift. Mr. Harvey asked her to the prom. Two years later they were married.

Ms. Callahan and Mr. Harvey describe the ensuing six decades in much the same way. Though he settled in Woodbridge and had a son and a daughter, and she settled in Westerville, Ohio, and had two sons and two daughters, both lived what Mr. Harvey called typical, traditional married-couple lives. He worked as a Washington, D.C., parks police officer for 15 years before retiring in 1977 and becoming a middle-school teacher for 23 years, and has been a deacon at his church, Two Rivers Baptist in King George, Va., for 18 years. She became a nurse and worked at several hospitals while having children and relocating to cities including Nashville and Ashland for Mr. Callahan’s career in computers.

They married within two years of each other — he in 1959 and she in 1961 — and lost their spouses two years apart. Mr. Callahan developed vascular dementia and died in 2015. Ms. Harvey died of cancer in 2017.

While they grieved their losses separately, each made appearances in the other’s thoughts. Throughout his 60-year marriage, and despite what he called his “very real” love for his wife, Mr. Harvey kept Ms. Callahan’s high school photo in his wallet. And in 1972, when he heard that Gar-Field High was being torn down for renovations, he was upset that he hadn’t been told earlier. “If I had known, I would have gone there and bought the seat Annette and I carved our initials into in study hall,” he said.

In early 2018, Michael Candler, the son of Ms. Callahan’s cousin, visited Ms. Callahan in Ohio. He had found and developed an old, forgotten roll of film with shots of Ms. Callahan and Mr. Harvey posing on a couch, preprom, and thought she might like to see the photographs. Ms. Callahan was flooded with fond memories. “It came to me, looking at those pictures, that I had had so much fun with Bob,” she said. “I wanted to talk to him again.” She looked for him unsuccessfully on Facebook.

In August 2018, Mr. Harvey was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. As he negotiated his cancer treatments, he wrestled with how he wanted to spend the rest of his life. “The lady who had been gentle on my mind for six decades became heavy, heavy, heavy,” he said. A 2019 Google search turned up Mr. Callahan’s 2015 obituary. “I hit the floor. I was like, Oh, God, she’s been a widow four and a half years. She’s probably remarried and I’ve lost her again.”

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He was willing to take his chances. “I sent a donation to the palliative care unit that took care of John, and then I found a nice card of condolence and sent it to her with my name, address and phone number and signed it, ‘Thinking of you,’” he said. He had found her address through the church that held Mr. Callahan’s funeral. For eight days, he held his breath and waited. And then, on the evening of July 26, she called. “She said, ‘I’ve been looking for you and had given up ever hearing from you. Can you come to Ohio?’”

He told her he could be there by Sunday. He got up at 5 a.m. Saturday and drove 12 hours straight, stopping only for gas and to buy a bouquet of pink and white carnations when he hit Gahanna. When she answered the door, he knew what to do. “I had called my son, Bryan, and said, How do I do this? Do I just run up and plant one on her like it’s 1956? He said, ‘Go for it, Dad.’” So he did. “I handed her the flowers, and then I cupped her face in my hand and said, ‘Whether you like it or not, I’m going to kiss you.’”

Mr. Harvey spent a week in Ohio. Before he left, he asked Ms. Callahan to dance with him in her kitchen to Johnny Mathis’s “Chances Are” and the 2003 Alan Jackson hit “Remember When.” He told her he guessed she and her husband had danced a lot through the years. She told him otherwise. “My husband didn’t dance,” she said. “The last person I danced with was you.”

“My heart was beset,” Mr. Harvey said. “I am so much in love with this woman.”

Cancer treatments require Mr. Harvey to spend most of his time in Virginia, but since August he has spent 10 days per month in Ohio. On Aug. 27, a month after their reunion, he asked Ms. Callahan to marry him with a vintage 1950s diamond ring bought at his former wife’s favorite jewelry store in Fredericksburg, Va. By then, he knew Ms. Callahan’s children approved.

“At first the whole story of them seemed surreal,” said Becky Craft, Ms. Callahan’s youngest daughter. “But the more time we spend with Bob, the more we realized how much they enjoy each other

The engagement, during a picnic at Alum Creek State Park Beach in Lewis Center, Ohio, which is near Ms. Callahan’s home in Gahanna, didn’t bring tears to Ms. Callahan. “But Bob may have cried,” she said. “He’s very tenderhearted.”

On Oct. 19, Ms. Callahan and Mr. Harvey were married at Central College Presbyterian Chapel in Westerville by the Rev. David Redding, a Presbyterian minister. Ms. Callahan wore a purple cardigan and purple slacks that she said complemented her white hair. Mr. Harvey wore a white sport coat with a pink carnation, and in a nod to the era that united them, shiny penny loafers. After a brief ceremony before 17 friends and family members during which Mr. Harvey choked up twice, the couple joined 32 guests at the Nutcracker, a 1950s-themed restaurant with jukeboxes and padded booths in nearby Pataskala, Ohio.

Most of the couple’s combined 14 grandchildren were in attendance; a few had been instructed by Mr. Harvey to bring a CD player so he could dance with his bride to Johnny Mathis.

“We didn’t want any jitterbugging,” said Mr. Harvey, who will sell his house in Virginia and move to Ohio in the coming months. “At our age, we don’t want to risk getting hurt.”

On This Day

When Oct. 19, 2019

Where Central College Presbyterian Chapel, Westerville, Ohio

Dancing Again Mr. Harvey and Ms. Callahan entered the Nutcracker restaurant after the wedding ceremony holding hands to “Chances Are,” by Johnny Mathis. As they made their way down the steps, Mr. Harvey pulled Ms. Callahan close. The couple slow danced for the crowd before sitting down, Mr. Harvey whispering and softly singing the lyrics.

Sweet Memories Guests chose between spaghetti and garlic bread or roasted chicken for dinner. Later, the waitresses served a wedding cake shaped and decorated like a traditional Wurlitzer jukebox.

Like Old Times “I feel happy again,” said Ms. Callahan just after the ceremony. “I was alone for a while and was very lonely. I feel like I have a purpose again. It feels like no time has passed.”

Aselya Sposato contributed reporting from Westerville, Ohio.

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On Senate Floor, Portman Discusses the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations’ Report on Iran’s Access to U.S. Financial System

WASHINGTON, D.C. – U.S. Senator Rob Portman (R-OH) delivered remarks on the Senate floor last evening highlighting the release of his investigative report from the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, (PSI) which he chairs. The report details, for the first time, how the Obama administration secretly granted a specific license authorizing the conversion of Iranian assets worth billions of U.S. dollars using the U.S. financial system—despite repeated assurances to the public and Congress that Iran would not be granted access to the U.S. financial system.  The Obama administration then asked two U.S. banks to execute the transactions, and they refused to do so.  The report outlines key findings and recommendations designed to prevent this from happening in the future.

Said Portman in his speech: “Shortly after issuing the specific license to use the U.S. financial system to convert the rials, a Treasury official wrote in an email on the matter, quote, ‘I think we earned the right to never discuss this matter ever again.’ I disagree. I think we have to talk about this—and to talk about how, before, during, and after Treasury and State Department officials testified in front of Congress that Iran would not have access to the U.S. financial system, they worked behind the scenes to allow exactly that. We have to talk about this to be sure it doesn’t happen again.”

A full transcript of his remarks can be found below and a video can be found here.

 "Today I want to talk about new information regarding the Iran nuclear deal negotiated by the Obama administration—otherwise known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, or JCPOA. This is an agreement that was reached by the Obama administration and voted on after the fact by this body, and a majority of members in the House and the Senate chose to oppose the agreement, but not enough to be able to stop it. It went into effect and has gotten some play recently as the administration has pulled out the United States’ involvement in that agreement. 

“What I’m going to talk about this evening is new information that has come from the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, which I chair. We began an investigation into one aspect of the JCPOA nearly two years ago based on information we received that, despite the Obama administration’s claims to the contrary, there may have been an undisclosed arrangement with Iran to grant them access to the U.S. financial system.

“Recall that the basic deal with Iran was that, in exchange for Iran agreeing to certain limitations related to its nuclear arsenal, including limiting the new production of enriched uranium for 15 years, the United States and members of the United Nations Security Council agreed to lift some economic sanctions on Iran. That was the basic construct of the agreement.

“As part of that agreement, which included ongoing deadlines that needed to be met over a period of years, the United States lifted what are often referred to as ‘secondary sanctions.’ These are sanctions on foreign entities and countries that do business with those under U.S. sanction—in this case Iran. 

“So, under the Iran deal, other countries were now allowed to freely do business with Iran without the risk of the U.S. imposing sanctions on them. Iran was also allowed to access money that was frozen abroad in other countries because the threat of U.S. sanctions against cooperating foreign partners no longer existed. 

“At the same time, really because of all of the non-nuclear concerns regarding Iran—including support of terrorism, human rights violations, ballistic missile development, and basic destabilization of the region—primary U.S. sanctions against Iran remained in place. 

“This means Iran was still banned from directly accessing the U.S. financial system, and banks and other private institutions were still banned from accessing the U.S. financial system on behalf of Iran. This is a big deal, that’s sort of the one thing that any country who is sanctioned really wants is access to our financial system because it is so intertwined with the rest of the world. They were still banned from access to our financial system. 

“This was a key point that the Obama administration made clear throughout negotiations with Iran. They repeatedly provided assurances to the American people that Iran would not be granted access to the U.S. financial system. They made the same claims publicly before congressional committees and in testimony up here. 

“On July 23, 2015, before the deal was implemented, a senior Treasury official explained that, quote, ‘Iranian banks will not be able to clear U.S. dollars through New York, hold correspondent account relationships with U.S. financial institutions, or enter into financing arrangements with U.S. banks.’ The testimony further stated, quote, ‘Iran, in other words, will continue to be denied access to the world’s largest financial and commercial market.’ 

“On August 5, 2015, the Acting Under Secretary of Treasury for Terrorism and Financial Intelligence, testified before the U.S. Senate Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs that, quote, ‘Iran will be denied access to the world’s most important market and unable to deal in the world’s most important currency,’ referring to the U.S. financial system and the U.S. dollar. He also stated that, quote, ‘Iranian banks will not be able to clear U.S. dollars through New York, hold correspondent account relationships with U.S. financial institutions, or enter into financing arrangements with U.S. banks.’ 

“These claims were very clear, the U.S. financial system was not to be used. Despite these claims, the next year, just after implementation of the deal had begun, we started hearing reports that the Obama administration was considering changing course on this policy. 

“This obviously raised a lot of concern from members of Congress on both sides of the aisle because the Iranian regime remained a state sponsor of terrorism, the number one state sponsor of terror. It continued to threaten ballistic missile activities, and it continued to commit egregious violations of human rights as it does today. In fact, in July of 2016, a bipartisan group of 35 Senators sent a letter to President Obama expressing deep concern over the rumors that Iran might be granted access to the U.S. dollar. 

“It was about that time when we started our investigation in the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations. Today, after a nearly two-year investigation, we unveiled a report which detailed, for the first time, how despite their claims to the contrary, the Obama administration secretly granted a specific license authorizing the conversion of Iranian assets worth billions of U.S. dollars using the U.S. financial system. 

“Remember that this happened despite repeated assurances to the public and Congress that Iran would not be granted access to the U.S. financial system. Specifically, the Obama administration asked two U.S. banks to execute the transactions. Fortunately, these two big multinational banks refused to do so. The report outlines key findings and recommendations designed to prevent this from happening in the future. 

“What funds are we talking about? Before the Iran deal was implemented, Iran transferred roughly $13.4 billion in oil revenue assets to bank accounts overseas. Iran deposited $8.8 billion of that oil revenue in one account at Bank Muscat in Muscat, Oman. 

“Three days after Implementation Day of the JCPOA, on January 19, 2016, Bank Muscat contacted the Office of Foreign Assets Control, or OFAC, the agency within the Treasury Department responsible for enforcing U.S. sanctions. They did this on behalf of the Central Bank of Iran. This is the Oman bank contacting the U.S. Treasury Department saying, ‘We need your help.” 

“Bank Muscat sought to convert $5.7 billion in Omani rials into euros on behalf of Iran. Because the rial is pegged to the U.S. dollar, the most efficient conversion was with an intermediary step through a U.S. bank using U.S. dollars. Iran was eager to convert this money into a more universal currency and was adamant about getting this done quickly. 

“Despite its public stance that it would not provide Iran access to the U.S. financial system and U.S. banks, on February 24, 2016, OFAC issued a specific license to Bank Muscat authorizing Iranian assets worth roughly $5.7 billion to flow through the U.S. financial system.  

“Today I heard some say that this specific license was just a narrow exemption or just a minor fix. To that, I’d direct you to an email from a Bank Muscat official, which said that the license was, quote, ‘a gigantic breakthrough which has assured Iran of almost full global financial inclusion.’  That doesn’t sound like a narrow fix to me. 

“Anyone suggesting that the specific license didn’t grant Iran access to the U.S. financial system hasn’t read this PSI report—or read the Obama administration’s emails we cite in it. 

“Don’t just take my word for it, though, as one State Department official wrote to his Iranian counterpart, quote, ‘OFAC informed Bank Muscat and the Central Bank of Oman today that they have a license to convert Iranian assets in its accounts to euros through the U.S. financial system.’ 

“Members of the Obama administration clearly understood that this was wrong and not part of the Iran deal. A senior State Department official wrote at the time, in 2016, that the transaction was, quote, ‘prohibited by U.S. sanctions that are still in place and which we were clear we would not be removing as part of the JCPOA.’ That same official wrote that granting the transaction, quote, ‘exceeded’ the JCPOA commitments because it authorized the use of the U.S. financial system. 

“Let me repeat that so this is crystal clear. The Obama administration State Department completely understood that this concession—that giving Iran access to the U.S. financial system was, quote, ‘prohibited by U.S. sanctions’ that, quote, ‘we were clear we would not be removing.’ These aren’t my words or the words of the subcommittee. These are the words of a senior State Department official at the time. There was no confusion here. 

“Shortly after issuing the specific license to use the U.S. financial system to convert the rials, a Treasury official wrote in an email on the matter, quote, ‘I think we earned the right to never discuss this matter ever again.’ 

“I disagree. I think we have to talk about this—and to talk about how, before, during, and after Treasury and State Department officials testified in front of Congress that Iran would not have access to the U.S. financial system, they worked behind the scenes to allow exactly that. We have to talk about this to be sure it doesn’t happen again. 

“Following the issuance of the specific license, OFAC contacted these two U.S. banks urging them to convert Iran’s rials to U.S. dollars. It appears the administration was becoming desperate—Iran was making public and private claims that they were not getting the benefit of the deal the expected and asserting the deal could fall apart. 

“We discovered an email where a State Department official even suggested that the Secretary of State or the Secretary of Treasury should contact the U.S. banks themselves and encourage them to facilitate the conversion. 

“We have no evidence that they did so. Both U.S. banks declined to complete the transaction. According to the banks, they refused due to compliance, reputational, and legal risks associated with doing business with Iran. They did the right thing. 

“Because the U.S. banks were unwilling to convert the funds despite the requests from the Obama administration, ultimately, Bank Muscat was unable to effectuate the conversion using the U.S. dollar.  

“The State Department has told us that Iran, over time, converted the funds into euros in small increments using European banks. The only reason the transaction wasn’t executed through the U.S. financial system was because the two U.S. banks refused, even though the administration asked them to help convert the money. 

“After the Iran Deal was implemented—and after the Treasury Department had issued a specific license—the Obama administration continued to maintain the false notion that it had not provided Iran access to the U.S. financial system. 

“On April 5, 2016, Ambassador Thomas Shannon said, quote, ‘there is no exchange of dollars inside the U.S. financial system, and we have not allowed an access to our larger financial system.’

“On May 25, 2016, Acting Under Secretary of Treasury for Terrorism and Financial Intelligence Szubin said, quote, ‘But Secretary Lew has said exactly what I have said here today, and I know he was looking forward to me being here to be able to relay his views on this. Iran will not have access to our financial system.’ 

“On June 7, 2016, Treasury wrote a letter to Senators Kirk and Rubio saying, quote, ‘The administration has not been and is not planning to grant Iran access to the U.S. financial system.’ 

“Time after time—before, during, and after the Iran Deal, the Obama administration misled the American people and misled Congress on this point. I believe it was because the administration was so eager to make this deal work. They wanted to keep Iran in this deal. 

“Our report also shows that the State Department and Treasury Department held at least 200 meetings or ‘roadshows’ around the world to encourage other countries to do business with Iran. In the roadshows, Treasury Department officials also downplayed any potential future penalties or fines that might result from sanctions.  

“During one roadshow, the head of OFAC told the audience that, quote, ‘95 percent of the time OFAC sees an apparent violation it results in a simple warning letter or no enforcement action.’ So this is the head of the agency at Treasury responsible for enforcing these sanctions saying 95 percent of the time it results in a simple warning letter or no action. 

“We should not be telling anyone that we only enforce sanctions—one of our most important foreign policy tools—just five percent of the time. 

“One European regulator who attended an OFAC roadshow commented that foreign financial institutions felt ‘political pressure’ to conduct business with Iran and Iranian companies. Sanctions are a vital foreign policy tool, and yet in this case the Obama administration seemed to be sending the wrong message about their enforcement and effectiveness. 

“The PSI report released today outlines key transparency recommendations to ensure these undisclosed side deals never happen again, including requiring the current administration to keep congressional committees of jurisdiction up to date on the status of any future negotiations with Iran, disclosing to Congress any specific licenses that are proposed, and putting in place stronger enforcement of U.S. sanctions. 

“Going forward, this report also underscores how important the U.S. financial system is to global finance markets, and it gives us a substantial amount of leverage in negotiations—we should choose to use it.  

“We now have an opportunity to fix the fundamental flaws in the Iran deal and put in place a strong agreement that truly protects America’s national security interests and the interests of our allies in the region. 

“Recall that the Iran deal was opposed by a bipartisan majority of this body. 

“I support our efforts to work with our European allies to put in place a better deal that truly represents America’s national security interests and the interests of our allies in the region. I hope this report helps us to avoid the kinds of problems that happened last time, the next time around.”

 ###

from Rob Portman http://www.portman.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/press-releases?ContentRecord_id=920BF3A6-3C54-4BF9-893C-355C4F9F1E63

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Can you own a car and be covered legally in under your parents insurance? My wife and I purchased a car from her father and I want the title, but we are able to pay really cheap insurance through them...I don't want to lose that...can we have the title put in our name, but still have insurance through them?""

What is the cheapest health insurance I can get?

I'm a healthy single person with no preexisting conditions living in Washington State and am tired of paying $430/mo for COBRA. My acceptable range is $50 - $150/mo and only want it as hedge against risk of major injury. I may be travelling overseas for 3-6 months this winter and I'm wondering if: 1. I should choose something like LifeWise with 10k deductible for 3 months, just short term then let it cancel, then get different travel insurance thereafter? 2. Choose a company that does both domestic US and overseas travel coverage? 3. Let COBRA expire and just risk it? Do you have any recommendations? Know of any especially affordable deals that match this?

Whats the average cost of health insurance(+dental)?

I'm 19, female, never had any health problems, and married(dunno if any of that matters haa.) I'll be getting my own plan for the first time, I'm just wondering whats the average cost, what are some good providers to use that aren't too expensive, and does health insurance come with dental or is that a separate thing? Thanks!""

Health Insurance - Early Retirees?

Does anyone buy their own health insurance? What is the rate usually for a 62 yr old individual plan? I have gotten 227/mo to as high as 969/mo. How to know if its a scam, too good to be true or a rip off? Thanks for helping. Is Aetna real? I rec'd calls from a broker underwriting with Aetna and worry that those prices of 227/mo were so affordable it must be a scam right? I would love to know what a normal price per month for health insurance is, with no employer involved, however earns too much to qualify for affordable coverage. This is NYS if that matters.""

When a car is wrecked and the insurance people come to look at it.... ?

what value do they compare damage to in order to decide if it is a total loss.. for example, do they look at what the kelly blue book is on trade value?? or on the private party value (how much i can sell it for)??""

How much does it cost to replace the windshield on a 2003 Chevy Tracker?

I think my windshield need to be replaced, a small crack is spreading, I think its 20 in now, is it repairable or do I have to replace it? how much does it cost to replace it. If I do it through my insurance, will this change my premium? Thank you (I'm broke, if any one know a cheap place in Austin,TX to replace it, I would really appreciate it)""

How much is insurance for starting a cleaning service in California?

How much is insurance for starting a cleaning service in California?

Would a 1972 Monte Carlo be expensive to insure?

Someone said it may be expensive to insure this kind of car. Could he be referring to just this one particular car or all muscle cars from the early 70's? keep in mind i am 18 years old if that makes any difference.

About how much will basic insurance cost for a 30 year old male once the new Insurance system is in place?

right now I can't afford insurance but will be required to buy it anyway starting in 2014, I am curious as to how much it will be. As I understand it, it will be basically figured at three different levels of service and three different rates depending on your age and the coverage you want. so for a 30 year old male who wants basic coverage how much would I expect to pay? just ball park. like $200 to $300 per month? more then that less then that? this question has been deleted over and over again I don't understand why.""

Motorcycle insurance is so expensive?

Basically I'll be doing my cbt test this Wednesday so I can ride my 125cc supermoto which I use for dirt biking. Checked insurance on my Yamaha WR125X and it's 1400 for comprehensive, da fk is this? After seeing that I was physically sick. So I thought I'll just check on the most cheapest moped and it's 700 which is still expensive.. How the fk do these kids I see with mini coopers afford insurance and all I wAnt is to ride a small 2 wheel sht face. I'm 18, 19 this march, work full time. Can I find it any cheaper anywhere? Should I go for third party insurance? I just hate my life""

""Car insurance, advice and help!?""

Im 16. Ive done a bit of research and it looks expensive, so im going to try to be put on my parents plan. I know it depends on their plan and everything, but im just looking for an approximation per month or per 6 months or per year. They have pretty good coverage if that helps, and my dads on geico and my moms on progressive i beleive. i live in miami if thats useful, and i will only use one car if that would make the insurance cheaper (its in their name). Any bit of advice to make it cheaper or any tips would be extremely appreciated. If i could get somewhere around 500 per 6 months that would be ideal. Thanks u guys""

Does being a cyclist affect health insurance rates? How so?

A cyclist might be more at risk to injury in accidents because they're on a bicycle instead of inside a car, but cyclists are probably generally healthier.""

Insurance regulations?

does the commissioner of insurance have the authority to govern foreign producers/ foreign companies. these are business entities that sell insurance in there state but there home office is in another?

I want to insure my car for only 4 months?

Can I do this and if so how? and what is the cheapest way? I used to be with Direct Line but canceled it when I went to Uni. Now I want my car back on the road but only for the summer holidays. Any company suggestions and how much it would cost would be great, its an M reg ford fiesta and im 19 if that makes any difference. Please help, Thanks :-)""

Are there any North Carolina Health Insurance Agents here?

I need to find an agent or a website that sells other carriers besides bcbsnc...those guys are outrageous!

Car insurance for students at uni?

Im going to uni in september and my car insurance is also up for renewal, i will be leaving the car at home while away but will want to use it over holiday periods and the occasional weekend. Does anyone know of cheap companies who offer insurance for short periods of time while its driven?""

Can you buy/insure a car without a drivers license?

My bf and I are buying another car in November, which will be for my use when I get my full license (I currently only have my G1.) I would like to have it registered and insured in my name. Am I able to do this when I get the car or do I have to put it in his name and change it over when I get my full license? I live in Ontario. Thanks in advance.""

Is there a program or something for people who work as temps to get insurance?

I have not had medical insurance and would love to have coverage, but working as a temp none is offered and it can be very exspensive, anyone know what I can do to get affordable insurance!!!""

Do you need insurance for a driver's permit?

I'm hearing different things from all different places and rather than sifting through all of the crap at the dmvedu website I thought I'd ask you guys and get a straight answer. Do I need insurance to get my permit, or just for my liscense? I live in California, by the way, if that makes any difference with the law.""

Breakdown Insurance less than 12 months?

Hi, does anyone know if it's possible to get car breakdown cover for less than 12 months? All i ever see on advertisements and online is quotes for 12 months cover but i am planning on leaving the UK for a bit after 6 months so that's all i require. Before i contact insurance companies can someone tell me if this is normal or an irregular request? Cheers!""

Does an insurance consultant in Massachusetts need to be licensed?

It is corporate insurance, not personal.""

Car insurance ireland?

hi there does any 1 know of any insurance companys in southern ireland who specalise in people who have been banned for drink driving

HOW come insurance co?

how come insurance co discraminate against people who have mental disease? I have tried in the past to get private insurance but because i have been treated for depression in the past, I have been denied by several companies. Now only I qualify for the State insurance, and it is way over-priced and hardly covers anything. This isn't fair to those of us that are self-employed. How are we able to get affordable insurance, if we are discraminated against.""

How much would insurance be for a 2008 Honda CBR 125cc?

I'm only a 16 year old, 5'3 115 pound girl... I've got my g1, my driving course and I'm more than willing to take the motorcycle course. I'm looking at buying a 2008 Honda CBR 125cc. I'm wondering ON AVERAGE what I'll be paying for insurance? Thanks in advance! Oh and I'm in Sudbury, Ontario. I'll only be doing about 20-30km a day, if that makes a difference""

How much will my ticket be? I'm a little nervous to see since he gave me 4 months to pay it..?

I got in a wreck about 2 weeks ago. I wasn't at fault but because I had no insurance I got my car taken anyway. It's out of impound now, they didn't hold my tags, and I now have insurance and a nice size scratch/dent going from my front fender to my back door. So now all that's left is the ticket that he gave me for driving a vehicle with no insurance. How much will the ticket cost? And does it cost more because the vehicle was in an accident?""

Why is my auto insurance so high?

I'm currently buying a 2013 Subaru Impreza Sport Limited, but my insurance quotes are averaging over $600 a month. I'm 19, male, and have two speeding tickets, and I have friends that are paying under $100 a month. Why would it be so high for me?""

Cheap car insurance/ first car whats been ur best quote?

hi im all most finished my driving lessons and wondering about the insurance ect i dont wanna spend hours on compere or that putting in details , but wondering if there r any first time drivers out there and give me there thoughts on how i would get a cheap car and cheap insurance Category""

What is the cheapest health insurance I can get?

I'm a healthy single person with no preexisting conditions living in Washington State and am tired of paying $430/mo for COBRA. My acceptable range is $50 - $150/mo and only want it as hedge against risk of major injury. I may be travelling overseas for 3-6 months this winter and I'm wondering if: 1. I should choose something like LifeWise with 10k deductible for 3 months, just short term then let it cancel, then get different travel insurance thereafter? 2. Choose a company that does both domestic US and overseas travel coverage? 3. Let COBRA expire and just risk it? Do you have any recommendations? Know of any especially affordable deals that match this?

What is the insurance company here in Los Angeles?

That has hospital, prescription,medical of any kind , office visits,ambulances, dental, with a deductable and monthy premiums that are not too high.""

Car insurance confusion?

Hi i'm 18 and my driving test is coming up soon and i always look for quotes on cars to see for the future. My mum said she will possibly give me her car and get a new one if i pass. But on insurance quotes for the car i will be getting i will be the main driver but not the policy holder or registered keeper as i still live at home with her and she will still use the car to go shopping and things like that but I will drive that car the majority of the time. So because i am the main driver on this quote and will drive it predominantly it is not fronting? However my mums no claims will be put on this quote as opposed to her other car so is that still ok? And who will get the no claims bonus at the end of the quote the main driver or the policy holder and if its the main driver will my mum still be able to use her no claims on another car if i gain my own? Sorry for all the questions i just want to make sure i'm not going to be breaking the law on any possible quotes i may take out Thanks in advance.

Is progressive car insurance cheap?

I had State Farm but they terminated my insurace because of to many tickets, i herd Progressive was cheap, what do you think? I am 19 by the way""

Who is the most dependable Motorcycle insurances and the cheapest?

What all do I really needfar as coverage..I have good medical already...what's the minimum coverage? I have a new HD fatboy 2006 with the 1689 cc with custom pipes. I just wantthe basic coverage. How much is a good premium?

What car has the CHEAPEST car insurance for a 16 yr old?

What car? make? model? yr? Insurance company?

Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person's insurance?

Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person's insurance? Example: Could i have title of the car in my name but use my Parents insurance??

How to get Insurance on a permit and without owing a car?

how to get Insurance on a permit and without owing a car and 25 years old in north Carolina

""Is it legal to drive in California without insurance? (insurance on the person, not the car)?""

Hi, my car is insured, but I just got my license today and I am not insured. The car is under my parents' name and my dad told me it was legal to drive without insurance... but I am unsure of whether this is true or not. Can someone please clarify? Thanks in advance, Liz.""

Insurance price for a 16 year old?

I'm 16 live in Minnesota and i want to get a car maybe around $5000 just wanted to know how much a month it would cost for insurance with and without my parents

Affordable term life insurance quote?

What good is affordable term life insurance?

Which auto insurance company offers non-owner's insurance?

Which auto insurance company offers non-owner's insurance?

How much will a 21 year old pay for car insurance?

I am 21 years old and kinda new to america. i wanna get a car. how much do you think i will be paying for the insurance. i am experienced driver. any info. would be helpful. thank you

""Car insurance, i only drive for 3 months or so? any options?""

I currently have a BMW m3, i will be moving to new york city where it makes no sense to have the car, but i love the car and intend on keeping it locked in my parents garage and covered for the majority of the winter. during the summer months it will be down at there vacation house but again, it will only be driven by me maybe twice a month and for two weeks one month. the only other time i could see me using it would be every once in a while when i visit home to go to the store and back, literally like 5 other days out of the year. is there any insurance for this? i have a loan on the car, but it's used and old and in pristine condition so i'd rather keep it, i have considered selling it. soo what options would i have? i also go to school in another state from wher the car is stored.""

Whats the average cost a month for car insurance in california for an 18 year old?

Whats the average cost a month for car insurance in california for an 18 year old?

Do I need Insurance on a financed motorcycle in Florida?

I have a motorcycle that is financed and I live in Florida. I am financed through HSBC. Is it mandatory that I have to have insurance on the motorcycle?

Can I get liability insurance on a 2005 mazda tribute or will I have to get full coverage?

Can I get liability insurance on a 2005 mazda tribute or will I have to get full coverage?

How does the age of a car factor into the cost of car insurance?

Obviously there is more than one factor that influences the cost of car insurance. I know that when a car is newer, it usually costs more to insure than a car that is older. For example, a 2009 Chevy Impala is more expensive to insure than a 1983 VW. But, suppose I bought a vehicle like a 1957 Lincoln, 1955 GMC, or a 1956 Plymouth (or some other car from that time period)? If it wasnt something that people easily recognize like more popular cars from that time period, would it cost less to insure? (They arent as recognizable or popular, in the sense that if one was driving a 1957 Chevy, or a 1959 Cadillac or a Thunderbird, most people would instantly know what it was, but if I drove a 1957 Lincoln or a 1955 GMC, most people wouldnt immediately know what it was.)""

What's the cheapest way to get auto insurance?

My brother is planning on purchasing a 2000 dodge dakota. He is 18 and has never been insure. He is a new driver. Our parents do not have insurance.

What can I do about car insurance from another state? PLEASE HELP!?

Okay basically here's the story. I'm 19, I live with my parents in Wisconsin but I'm trying to move back to Pennsylvania with my aunt and uncle. However I'm not in school at the moment. Apparently if I moved to PA, I'd have to pay 278 dollars more a month through Geico because I'd be living in a different state. I already have a job set up there and all so they could obviously see my paycheck is not from Wisconsin so I can't just lie or something lol. I really know nothing about insurance and how I can work this out without paying that much more. Can anyone help me with other options I could have?""

""Young driver insurance, should I get a tracker on my car?""

hi, I am 18, male and have my test in 2 days, I have been looking at cars and insurance but no one will even give me a quote on normal insurance. I have found a 1.0l lupo 51 plate and got a quote for 3400 with the tracker thing that records speeds, acceleration, breaking and that? just wondering should i do that or what? I don't want to be limited too much and feel im being watched. Anyway, does anyone know any companies that will even give me a quote? I know its not going to be cheap because of my age and sex but a price would be nice without that annoying box thing or should I just take the tracker insurance? Thanks in advance""

Car insurance Policys?

Hi there people i need help with this badly i had car insurance on my car for the last 6 months but sadly i had a crash in my car and is no longer drivable, i rang up my insurance company 2 change the policy and there tellin me that if i want 2 insure with them i need 2 get my self a 4 grand car does that seem right??""

""How much does homeowners insurance cost for a 250,000 house?""

How much does homeowners insurance cost for a 250,000 house?""

How much of a difference per month for car insurance is there between a sports car and a regular car?

How much of a difference per month for car insurance is there between a sports car and a regular car?

Combine medicare with private insurance?

I have Anthem Blue Cross and expect to keep it after age 65. I believe Medicare has 4 parts, A thru D. Which parts should I get through existing private insurance and which parts thru Medicare? If I delay getting Medicare, later the costs will go up . How much up and which parts?""

I do not have auto insurance and my license is suspended (child support). I live in California?

Is the other driver still responsible to pay for damages to my car? He has insurance. What do I do first? Thank you for your help

What is the cheapest health insurance I can get?

I'm a healthy single person with no preexisting conditions living in Washington State and am tired of paying $430/mo for COBRA. My acceptable range is $50 - $150/mo and only want it as hedge against risk of major injury. I may be travelling overseas for 3-6 months this winter and I'm wondering if: 1. I should choose something like LifeWise with 10k deductible for 3 months, just short term then let it cancel, then get different travel insurance thereafter? 2. Choose a company that does both domestic US and overseas travel coverage? 3. Let COBRA expire and just risk it? Do you have any recommendations? Know of any especially affordable deals that match this?

What is the difference between term and whole life insurance?

What is the difference between term and whole life insurance? When is it better to use one versus the other?

My auto insurance is almost $400?!?

Ok, I am a 21 year old female and I just bought MY first car. I got a 2012 Ford Focus. I've had 2 speeding tickets since I got my license years ago. Well once we got the car I got my own insurance as well. The lady told me it would be $380 a month for my insurance?! That's more than my car payment. I'm having a feeling that this is a little outrageous and I need some opinions on this. Thanks!""

""How much do you think will be the house insurance with 11,000 sqf land and 1,700 sq ft 3 bed 2b in California?

I need answer with resource. Thanks

Really pissed with car insurances?

when you have a accident and it is you fault and you only have basic insurance but STILL you have to pay the damage of the vehicle you hit so why do we pay for car insurance if we still have to pay more? is like if i'm paying to fix the other car and still paying the regular price to my insurance. are they stealing? or why the government let them do that?

Do I need my car to put insurance on it?

My car got impounded last night and I need to register the car in my name in order to put insurance on it, Im going to the DMV Monday morning to register it then head over to put insurance on it but need help on knowing whether I do need my car with me. Do i need My Car to register it and put basic cheap insurance on it too? Please let me know. My state is California. & i do have a valid driver license too. Thank you :)""

Can u keep a car in a garage without it having insurance?

I'm getting a car this weekend. It is taxed but I won't be able to afford the insurance stright away, what can I do??? I'm 18 and haven't passed my driving test yet. Any help welcome, thanks""

Can I get insured for a Volkswagen Golf GTI? (i'm 18)?

Hi! I wanted to buy the new golf gti, and I was wondering how much insurance would cost. What do you think will be cheaper, insuring the golf, or importing a car from another country (i won't have to buy it- i'll just take one of my parents' cars. Please don't say you won't be able to afford it etc. Trust me, I can afford it. Full stop.""

Will My Car Insurance Go Up?

I was Driving down a road going about 35-40 mph. ( Speed Limit was 45 mph ) I was going straight, and this woman coming the opposite direction decides to turn into a cut out, that goes into a shopping center, and as she turns in to the cut out she just keeps going, out into the street I slam as hard as I could, on my brakes but I still hit her, I hit her on the passengers side in between the 2 doors. There were 2 witnesses that I have never seen before in my life that witnessed it. I have back, and neck problems had someone call an ambulance because the pain was a lot worse. They took a CT SCAN and said nothing was wrong. My Neck and back is still hurting me a lot more, from the accident, I have too wear a sling on my left arm / shoulder because of the force of the seat belt. My nose is swollen do to the impact of the air bags, also affected my neck, and head pain. I have marks on my right arm, and stomach from this. Now the air bag deployed in my truck, and all of the air bags deployed in her car. My Truck looks like it will probably be totaled the bumper is ruined, the hood is ruined, the headlight is broken, The door I had to practically pry open because it was stuck, Smoke started coming out of the truck headlight broken Paint, I think the radiator broke, etc.... etc... Both Vehicles had to be towed away. I have good insurance on our cars, but since this isn't my fault the other woman's insurance will have to pay my medical bills, and to fix my truck, or give me blue book value on it right? I am 20 years old, I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. My insurance is Allstate, and the Other Woman's insurance is allstate also. I will be getting a lawyer.""

Car insurance?

how much can it increase by having one point on your driving record?

What is the name of place where I can go to pass some test of driving and get lower prices for car insurance?

What is the name where I can go to pass some test of driving and get lower prices for car insurance? I remember smb told me if I go there and pass test they will provide me documents allowing me to decrease my insurance for car. Currently cause I just got my license and had no any experience of driving, I am paying about $780 for 6 months. How can I go down on that price?""

Would insurance consider a 6 cylinder Pontiac grand am/prix a sports car?

i want a grand am/prix as my first car but my parents cant afford sports car insurance for a brand new 16 year old driver, also what could my parents expect to pay up to on insurance. ...show more""

What is the average of a full coverage insurance for a new 2014 sedan in NJ ?

What is the average of a full coverage insurance for a new 2014 sedan in NJ ?

Can my Fiance and I get health insurance together if we aren't married yet?

Can my Fiance and I get health insurance together if we aren't married yet?

Why are my car insurance quotes so high?

I'm about to get my first car at 25, and thought I'd look at insurance quotes for a cheap little run-around to get me started. I have only just passed my test so expected quotes to be quite high, but so far haven't seen anything below 4000 for a year! I tried looking for a quote on a Renault 1996 Clio 1.2 Versailles. Thought that would be pretty cheap. From what I've heard, I should be looking around the 1k mark for a year. Any clues as to what I'm doing wrong?""

Best Affordable Health Insurance in Indiana?

My fiance is currently making about $1200 cooking full-time at a restaurant. Our rent eats up a little more than half of that. He needs to find an affordable insurance plan and he's tried at work but we've heard it's not a very good value for the $200 he'd be paying a month for it. Can anyone suggest some affordable health insurance plans? He's reasonably healthy, does not have any pre-existing conditions, but he does smoke.""

How do insurance companies determine fault?

I was in an accident. My insurance company told me I was 0% at fault and the other driver 100% at fault. The other insurance company said i was 50% at fault and the other driver was 50% at fault. what happens next? who suppose to agree with who?

First automobile accident. How much will my payments increase?

I'm 25 and have just been in my first automobile accident in which I was at fault. I hit the side of another vehicle. My car is only damaged slightly on the front bumper, while the other car's passenger side is quite dented. No one was hurt in the accident and I didn't receive a ticket. Both of us were able to drive away from the scene. I do have automobile insurance which should cover any damages to the other car, but I am concerned that this will cause my insurance payment to increase. Thoughts?""

Is my terrible credit rating going to affect my insurance premiums if I pay monthly?I?

I'm buying a new scooter in the next week or so so I can get to my new job. I've got a terrible credit rating from being over zealous with credit cards and loans. I can only afford to pay monthly for my insurance. Because of my credit rating, is there a chance I'll get turned down to pay monthly and have to pay my whole premium one go? Also, my previous insurance company has cancelled my old policy because I didn't pay the bill. I never recieved any letters or anything saying they were going to do it and as far as I was aware my money was going out as usual. Is that going to count against me as well?""

""Do you believe in having life insurance? If so, do you have life insurance?""

I have a friend who sells insurance so I wanted to ask you guys... 1.) Do you have life insurance? 2.) If not, why have you NOT purchased life insurance? 3.) If you HAVE purchased life insurance, what motivated you to purchase life insurance?""

Who makes the best affordable medical oxygen concentrator?

portable preferred

Which car insurance company is the cheapest if you have many points?

Which car insurance company is the cheapest if you have many points?

Where to go for cheap car insurance for first time driver in Miami?

Where to go for cheap car insurance for first time driver in Miami?

How much is insurance for a 2001 mercury cougar. If I am 16? (EST.)?

Hello. I am looking for my first car. I am looking at a 2001 mercury cougar not the S series just the 3 door coupe.. Now the qoute gieco gave me was $325.01 a month. I live in Minnesota and I am a 16 year old male. I don't have anything on my record at all. I was wondering if 325.01 a month sounded right because I dont think so. That's like $4,000 a year and the car only costs $5,999. Also would it be better to go on my parents insurance plan with State Farm? Or to get my own? Thank you very much for helping me with advice with this.""

My mother added her car to my insurance policy without telling me?

i jus got a letter in the mail informing me of changes made to my insurance on my car, changes i didnt make and apparently my mother did, without telling me. what should i say to her?""

Car accident with no insurance?

I'm 19, and the car I was driving was constantly breaking down. When it was completely broken for two months, I stopped paying my insurance and instead saved back money to get the car fixed. My insurance canceled during that time. When I got it fixed on Friday, I was planning on renewing my insurance Tuesday, a day I had off work. Unfortunately, Saturday morning I got into a car accident. I was turning out of my apartment entrance to get to a middle lane where I could then get onto another road, and somehow didn't see a car close enough to hit me. He t boned me in the drivers side. Somehow neither of us got hurt. My car is pretty much done and his car, while not as bad as mine, did get some split open damage. The ticket says the damage is worth 3,000. Since I had no insurance at the time, how will this get payed??? I have a court date on the 9th to discuss the fact of my no insurance...I'll have coverage by then of course, but I'd like to know what I should expect...""

What is the cheapest health insurance I can get?

I'm a healthy single person with no preexisting conditions living in Washington State and am tired of paying $430/mo for COBRA. My acceptable range is $50 - $150/mo and only want it as hedge against risk of major injury. I may be travelling overseas for 3-6 months this winter and I'm wondering if: 1. I should choose something like LifeWise with 10k deductible for 3 months, just short term then let it cancel, then get different travel insurance thereafter? 2. Choose a company that does both domestic US and overseas travel coverage? 3. Let COBRA expire and just risk it? Do you have any recommendations? Know of any especially affordable deals that match this?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/should-17-year-old-pay-insurance-aliza-hausauer"