Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...
I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.
I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.
(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)
I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.
And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.
Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.
If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)
All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.
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If I have to walk my fucking dog again I'm going to attempt
Context: My mom asks me to walk the dog bc my sister and brother don't ever wanna (Which pisses me off bc my brother dropped out of highschool freshman year I think and hasn't picked up a fucking job and just stays home and.. Games all day ig and my sister had gotten a job but right after her first shift decided that she won't work again but WON'T tell them so my coworkers have asked about her and it's fucking humiliating and it's just like AGGG. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE??) Anyways yea
So I walk her every fucking time bc my sister always refuses (My mom doesn't ask my bro a lot bc they kinda have a silent fued going on sooooo.... Yea, she gave up on that but sometimes she'll ask)
Anyways the only reason I do it is so the stupid fucking baby wont shit in the house and like.. Not her fault. It's a fucking animal. But also every single time a fucking moving organism moves around her she goes fucking nuts and it's like STYA THE FUCK AWAY FROM PEOPLE I DON'T WANT THEM TO TALK TO ME I DON'T EVEN WANT TO WALK YOUR DUMB ASS I JUST DO IT BC WHO ELSE WILL??? AND IT'S SO OVERSTIMULATING SO AT HOME I'M JUST FUCKING MISREBLE AND LIKE SUUUUUURE MAYBE I'M A FUCKING HERMIT BUT AT LEAST I ACTUALLY GO TO MY FUCKING JOB AND WOULD ACTUALLY, OH I DUNNO, COMMUNICATE TO THEM IF I HAD A FUCKING ISSUE OR IF I WASN'T READY FOR WORK OR SOME SHIT AND IT'S JUST LIKE-
IT'S BEEN AT LEAST TEN MINUTES AND IT STILL PISSES ME OFF LIKE DUDE??? MY DOG HAS NO REASON TO BE THIS BATSHIT CRAZY ONCE SEEING PEOPLE AND I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE HOLDING HER AWAY FROM THEM BUT LIKE GOD DAMN IT STOP JUMPING AT PEOPLE I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE ME YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR FAULT YOUR ONLY CRIME IS THAT NO ONE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR ASS AND IT FUCKING AWFUL BC LIKE.. WHO THE FUCK DO I BLAME? LIKE YEA, I'M MAD AT MY SIS AND BRO BUT ALSO LIKE THEY'RE BASICALLY STRANGERS IN MY LIFE I BARELY FUCKING KNOW THEM SO HOW CAN I BE MAD AT A STRANGER????
Anyways if it's not obv I've been off my medssssss
Kinda wanna die guys <3
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DAZZLING LIGHT Maxis-Match Eyes
2024 EXPANSION
...for friends, family and foes!
Nah, but I'm serious, these eyes are literally for everyone and everything!
So, it's been years, and the Dazzling Light eyes still have a tight grip on me for my personal choice as default replacements, and because I still love them so much, I decided to expand them quite a bit.
Info follows under the cut. The full description can be found at the download link, which I really advise you to read if you need more details about the specific files.
➔ DOWNLOAD (Patreon FREE)
If you like, please consider to support my work 🖤
● ALL MY CC DOWNLOADS
The base eyes are available as default replacement, non default, facepaint and heterochromic options. All ages, all genders.
Same goes for the new occult eyes.
I've added 45 new colors to the original palette of 18, which results in a total of 63 colors.
Also available are new DIY addons for a color ring detail and sclera changer, see some example swatches here:
The occult eyes are for aliens, vampires, mermaids and werewolves.
For the vampire and werewolf swatches I've also made a custom emission map, which makes them glow real nicely in the dark!
Added default replacements for all of the animals & pets! ♡
Dog, cat and horse eyes can be manually changed in CAS.
I've also made replacements for every farm animal, which are available for the Cottage Living and Horse Ranch packs.
Included are chickens (chicks, hens & roosters), cows, llamas, foxes, rabbits, wild birds, sheep and goats.
♡ Hope you enjoy the eyes!
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