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cosmosrival · 4 years

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just a quick vent post i wanted to make since i got a shitty lil experience on twitter and also found out about some things!! its just me talking about my take on kama and sakura fans (the Bad ones)

just needed to let it out <3

there’s this person on reddit whose content i genuinely despise since he babifies kama who is a character who Absolutely Should Not be babified and is one of the reasons why i wish kama’s first ascension didnt exist. but unfortunately: fgo. i usually have no problems with ppl’s headcanons since i can’t control their minds u know? same goes for ships, just do whatever u want (and if its gross keep it away from me lol). but the AMOUNT of traction this man gets on his fucking posts where kama is parvati and emiya’s daughter is so insanely repulsive to me ??? LIKE... I GET IT. YOURE PROJECTING ON EMIYA. URE A SAKURA FAN. U LIKE SHIROU AND SAKURA TOGETHER BUT THINK SHIROU IS A LOSER SO U SHIP PARVATI AND EMIYA INSTEAD. OKAY. THATS FINE. just PLEASE for the love of GOD, leave kama out of it and dont turn them into this clueless baby because thats NOT what they are.

for a while i was just stuck in this position since i’m petrified that the ENG fandom only sees kama as the Haha Baby Nugget ! baby Sakuraface ! servant and then look away. when all they took from sakura is her body and negative personality traits (BUT EVEN THEN. kamadeva had their own grudge and negative feelings about shiva so sakura’s just amplified those and didnt create anything new) meanwhile their backstory is so RICH and their trauma with shiva leaves so much room for growth and there’s so much in indian mythology that’s about kama and their death/the whole Becoming the Universe/galaxy godly state frozen when they reached the Throne thing too.

but im afraid. i’m going to be honest. i’m afraid of their NA release. because of the traction this degenerate got on his posts amongst the english fandom. i know everyone hates reddit but its still a popular website :/

but then the greatest thing happened and a mutual of mine dmed me and told me that he’s actually a p*dophile who made porn in that 3d japanese porn game of emiya and first ascension kama fucking and i felt like a weight got off my chest. SO HE’S A FREAK ! HE’S ACTUALLY JUST A FREAK!!! he then told me that he’s also extremely hated on 4chan which is... the website i didn’t expect to be on the same side with ???? but you know what, i’ll take it.

this isnt even a battle or anything... since the main reason why people will roll for kama anyways is that they’re a sakuraface, and i’m fine with that. do whatever u want!! love em however u want.

what im scared of is that ppl will literally forget their third ascension exists????? and that more disgusting content of kama’s first ascension will end up coming out because of dudes like him getting popular because they’re good at photoshop and sprite editing. and that kama will end up being babified ONCE AGAIN meanwhile they’re an ethereal god and are older than the world itself.

being a fan of the god is suffering but i’m glad there seems to be a large portion of the fandom thinking the same way i do fjdnfndjdfgfgdgft

im glad kama got sakura physical traits bc sakura is a pretty girl !! and they turned out really gorgeous thanks to redrop. but sometimes i wish they werent a sakuraface.

this kinda got messy and i wont be checking this for mistakes since its really just me venting but... yeah. i like exploring kama as being this mess of a servant, god, demon and half human ? the ooku event added a lot to their character and i think the sakura side shouldnt be ignored even if i personally believe that its like. 15% of them. the rest is kamadeva and mara. its still interesting to explore !!

but then weirdos like these exist and i suddenly log off <3 i could very well ignore these comics no problem, if they WERENT ALL AROUND THE INTERNET EVERYTIME I TYPE KAMA IN THE SEARCH BAR its tiring.

though, mutuals coming forward and followers as well, coming to tell me that i made them like kama since my take on kama is so detached from sakura and the whole dark sakura theme and that they see kama in a new positive light thanks to me, gives me strength and makes me want to continue posting my headcanons.

if u made it this far and still choose to support me, thank u so much !! i think that kamadeva is a genuinely interesting god and that fgo’s take on his revenge is very fun to explore and i wanna keep going in that direction and learn more about them !!

tho if ure a hardcore sakura-only fan and decide to unfollow me because of this rant, no problem. i never watched heavens feel, i dont want to watch it and im more of a rin fan to be quite honest !! my fate/stay night knowledge is enough for me to get by im jus here for fgo historical lore fellas !!! Peace !!

#not gonna bother tagging this since its really just... a word wave

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yossariandawn · 4 years

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Scott Fuller

Why I like them: Oh Scott, He’s probably the character that breaks my heart the most, to be honest. He’s just so young and angry and lost, and he starts off the series clearly feeling powerless against all the bullies out there. Then he gets this incredible amount of power, and loses his family because of what he does with it. I believe he really was trying to protect them too, he viewed it as a gift and a way to survive in the world. Then he falls in with people he thinks can help him become strong and powerful, makes a bunch of terrible choices that end with his sister getting shot and killed while trying to help him. But is capable from learning from his mistakes, he just needs some time to work through things and think, not react or follow along.

Why I don’t: I love all his flaws, and I really loved the darker parts of his character growth, so the only thing I'd change is we’d get more of what was going on with him throughout the show. We get all the major pieces to follow along with what happens to him, but he has a ton of stuff happen off screen that I would have liked to see. He has an really interesting relationship with power , both in how he craves it as something to protect and prove himself, that I personally find much more relatable than Richie’s very similar storyline.

Favorite episode (scene if movie) Fanglorious - I loved his Culebra Christian Rock band so much. I loved that he was really trying to build something positive after Season 2, and find a way to live with it all. He has a ton of guilt, but he also tried to turn it into something good by stopping the predators and bullies of the world from preying on others. Plus, we got a tiny bit of him interacting with the Geckos, and that Amaru fight was so intense and impressive looking.

Favorite season/movie: Season 2 - I know! He was a gigantic mess throughout the whole thing, but Brandon did a phenomenal job exploring it all, and I think it was all really important to get him where he ended up. It was hard to watch (the whole season is pretty hard to watch) but as the saying goes, it’s always darkest before the dawn lol.

Favorite line:

It’s the first real glimpse into how he views the world, and it’s a great little jolt.

Favorite outfit:

His long coat and twin swords is such a great look for him, I love that he’s styled himself like something out of a comic book.

OTP: No one at the moment, he doesn’t really have a love interest during the show, and for most of it he’s in a pretty bad headspace to be thinking about romance. Maybe Scott/Crossing the Ocean to Find Himself (metaphorically and literally)

Brotp:

Kate Fuller - I love their relationship, they just felt like real siblings to me. They had a shared history and had a huge impact in who they are as people, but they were also still two distinct people who had different views of the world, and reacted differently to the same trauma. It didn’t mean they loved each other any less though, and they will always have a unique bond with each other. And I’d love to see them renegotiate and figure out how they work best together going forward now that they aren’t kids anymore.

Head Canon: That he took some kind of martial arts classes as a kid, which would explain why he can do all the cool moves. I imagine he was always a bit of a loner, and I think Jacob and Jennifer could have tried to encourage him to get out there more by enrolling him in something he already had an interest in (his canon love of comic books and lucha wrestling and action movies) I can see him really throwing himself into learning all sorts of cool and flashy moves. I don’t think he was was fighting back in school though, I see him more simmering angrily than actually engaging back at that point.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not sure how unpopular it is, but I really think it was best for him that Kate turned him down on his offer to go off together at the end of season 3. I'm sure it stung a bit that she didn’t want to fall back into something close to what they were/maybe would have been, but he really needs some time to actually figure out what he wants to do and who he wants to be, and adding in a bunch of guilt and trying to be normal with her would have been a real distraction to that. And I think Kate really needed some space to adjust and heal without worrying about managing his feelings about what happened, which would have just been so hard for both of them to navigate in close quarters while everything was still so raw.

A wish: I would love to see Scott partnered up with Freddie! I think Scott could learn a lot from the Earl McGraw School of right and wrong, and he always gravitates towards mentors, so I think having someone who is also half in half out of the culebra world and has experience with feeling like an outsider would be really good for him. And the idea of a Culebra Peacekeeper in training makes me so happy, and I think would fit really well with Scott’s personality. (I know Peacekeepers have a whole bloodline component to them, but 1. Scott’s adopted, so we don’t actually know his bloodline, and 2. I’m not sure it should really matter anyway, since they’ve already thrown the whole culebra world order upside down. He can hold his own in a fight and wants to protect others)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Die, I don’t want him to die if the show ever does come back (knock on wood)

5 words to best describe them: Angry, Loner, Fighter, Geeky, Badass

My nickname for them: none

Thanks so much for asking about Scott @astarkey, and for giving me the opportunity to ramble on about him! You know me too well. 💖

#scott fuller #ask #fdtd #answered #asks

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lovedsammy · 5 years

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such sweet sorrow; [sastiel coda to 15.03]

I’m mad at Dean rn, so I wrote a vent fic. This is not very Dean friendly (following canon). Wrote this in less than an hour so….. not very well done, and probably has mistakes everywhere. I can’t bring myself to care, lol.

@casquecest @wendibird @avalonsilver

SUMMARY: Sam finds out that Dean caused Cas to leave. 15.03 coda. Some Sam and Rowena feels. Angst galore. Mostly Sastiel. :)

READ HERE on Ao3

He can still feel the grasp of the blade between his fingers, the plunge into soft flesh, see Rowena’s blood drying on his hands. He can still see her, her face wet with tears, pale from a combination of the blood loss and fear, her entire body trembling. And yet, her expression had never wavered in its softness, her smile warm and fond as she prepared for her final swan song.

Goodbye, boys.

It’s a memory on repeat in slow motion, even from behind his closed lids when Dean speaks to him.

“What you did, Rowena….”

He remembers the way her lithe body had fallen into the mouth of Hell, swallowing her hole and closing behind her like a suction hose. She’d looked beautiful in death, her red hair flowing behind her, dressed in her pink, flowy gown. She’d looked like something out of a fairytale, Sam thinks. It’s an odd association, one that is quite unlike who Rowena was, but it’s how Sam chooses to remember her.

“You didn’t have a choice.”

“I know.”

He hadn’t. But he wishes that, more than anything, he’d had.

And beneath the loss of her, there are so many more welts festering in his heart.

Sam hurts, and hurts, and hurts.

God, when would it end? Well, maybe asking their almighty creator that question was a pointless task. God had no intention of letting this end, he knew. At least not yet. When were things ever that simple? All of his life, his and Dean’s, he’d existed as a pawn for someone else’s game, had been a toy to break and toss and throw away without a care for the breakage. His and Dean’s lives were a tale of endless torment -- sometimes physical, mostly mental. It felt like it would never be over. No matter how much God got sick of them, not even if he was gone. God took a personal enjoyment in their suffering.

You’re enjoying this.

He sighs, gathers himself, and decides to leave his room for the first time in hours to see what Cas is up to. He needs a distraction. He’s pretty sure that Cas does, too. The pain of losing Jack is still raw and heavy, and it would overwhelm almost everything else if it weren’t followed by even more of it. His mother. Jack. Rowena. Ketch. So many losses in such a short amount of time that Sam craves just a little to be able to turn himself off, to feel nothing at all. But that thought reminds him of his soulless days, and those are days that can stay far in the past. But Cas… Cas has lost just as much as he has, the boy that both of them loved but who was better suited to have Castiel as his father, in the end. Sam had lost that title when he’d agreed to lock the Nephilim up. But honestly, he thinks he’d lost it long before that.

He meets Dean in the library.

“Hey,” Sam says, clearing his throat.

Dean glances up and nods at him around his glass of whiskey. “Hey.”

“Do you happen to know where Cas is?” Sam asks. “I checked his room, but he wasn’t there. Tried knocking on Jack’s too, thinking he might’ve - but…I didn’t really go in.” Sam stops himself. It was still too soon to think about Jack’s room. He fights the wave of nausea at the realization that everything of the boy’s was still there. The photo of Kelly, his clothes, his DVD’s and comic books. The box of cookie crisp tucked under his bed that he didn’t know that Sam had found but chosen not to bring up….

“He’s gone.”

Sam’s world, spiraling in a haze of pain, comes to a screeching halt. “What?”

“Yeah, he left,” Dean says nonchalantly, and automatically, it gives Sam a bad feeling.

“Why? What happened?”

Dean shrugs. “He didn’t wanna be here, and honestly? I didn’t really want him here, either. Do I need to say anything else?”

Sam’s a bit stunned by Dean’s disregard for their angelic friend. It was true that Dean and Cas had been having their problems lately (and long before that, really), but this new attitude from Dean concerning one of their last remaining allies rubs him the wrong way.

“Wait. Don’t tell me that you’re seriously still pissed at him?” When Dean says nothing, he huffs.“Really? Our last angel friend - hell, one of our LAST friends, period, and you... what? You chase him off? You can’t really still be blaming him for Mom -”

“You damn right I’m blaming him for Mom, Sam,” Dean snaps. “Jack’s gone. He’s dead. He’s not here to answer for himself or to take responsibility for it. But Cas? He is. He played a part in that too. He didn’t tell us, he didn’t warn us that something was wrong with the kid! Cas hid that from us, just like he always does, and it ended with us paying the price! When something goes wrong with our lives, it’s usually him at the fucking forefront of it all!”

Sam shakes his head, awed. “Tell me that you didn’t tell him that.”

Dean snorts. “Does it matter if I did? He left, Sam. End of story. He’s a big boy, he can take care of himself. And we can take care of us.”

And now Sam’s feeling ire to go along with the grief.

“I can’t believe you. I know things are bad right now, Dean. But come on. Cas is our friend. He’s family. He’s been with us for the past eleven years and has saved both of our asses so many times. He’s been there, when no one else was. Cas had nothing to do with Mom, and it’s crap that you’re pinning that on him!”

Dean rounds on him. “Sam, I know you’re upset about Rowena, but don’t. I’m allowed to feel how I do, all right?”

“So am I,” Sam says defensively. “And I for one don’t blame Cas. You chasing him out of here was a choice you made, not me. I didn’t even -” He rakes a hand down his face, and then reaches into his back pocket for his cell phone. “You know what? Fine. You made Cas leave. I’m calling him back.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Do whatever the hell you want. I tell you this, if he does come back, I don’t want him anywhere near me. So make sure to tell him that.”

“Yeah, that’s not an issue,” Sam growls, and he stalks away to his bedroom.

He dials Cas’s number.

It rings several times, but there’s no answer. Sam’s chest clenches in worry. He hopes that Cas is all right. A small part of him also hopes that the angel isn’t angry with him and is ignoring his calls just because of how Dean is acting. When after three attempts there is no response, Sam decides texting might be the next best approach.

Cas,

Hey. You left without even saying goodbye. I didn’t even know you were gone until just a couple of minutes ago. Listen, man, I’m sorry about Dean. The way he’s treating you right now is not fair at all. I made sure to let him know that. But I just wanted to tell you that I don’t blame you. I never have, never will. I hope I didn’t give you that impression. And I feel the need to apologize to you, Cas. I didn’t get a chance to say it before. I know I messed up with Jack, and I’m sorry. I’m going to regret what happened with him for the rest of my life. I loved him, too, and even though I was mad, I never wanted what happened to him to happen. I went to look for you because I know you’re in pain, too, and I hoped we could talk. If not about Jack, then anything. You’re my friend and I want to support you. Please, call me. Text me back. Don’t shut me out. And come home. Please. Dean’s not the only one who gets a say around here.

Sam.

He waits for a long time, and starts to think that Cas has no intention of responding when his phone goes off. He answers before it’s even past the second ring. “Cas?”

“Hello, Sam,” Cas says, and his voice sounds like he’s been crying. Or at least, close to it. Sam can’t blame him. He’s still hoarse himself. “I got your text.”

The simplicity of the statement almost makes Sam laugh, because yeah, he’d hope so. Classic Castiel. It made him even more appreciative of the times when things weren’t as complicated as they were now. “Yeah? Good. That’s good.”

“How are you feeling?” Cas asks.

Sam thinks about it, and just decides to be honest. “Awful,” He admits. “I feel like my chest is being crushed with everything that I’m feeling. I can’t really tune it out.”

“You never really could,” Cas says gently. “You’ve always allowed yourself to feel, and to feel deeply. It’s always a relief to be able to see that side of you still hasn’t changed, even with all that you’ve been through.”

Sam doesn’t know what to say to that, so he instead goes for the main reason he wanted to talk to Cas in the first place.

“Cas,” He starts. “Come back. Please. We - I need you here. I want you here. We can just stay and hang in my room and watch Netflix, you don’t even need to see Dean -”

“Sam, I don’t think I can do that,” Cas says despondently. “I’m sorry.”

Sam was expecting that response, but it stings nonetheless.

“Please don’t make me lose you too,” Sam says, and God he hates how he chokes on the words, hates how his grief is still so apparent even when he’s trying to mask it. “I’ve already lost too much. Haven’t we both?”

There’s a despairing sigh from Castiel. “Sam, you’re not losing me. Even if you don’t see me doesn’t mean that you will ever stop being my friend. That doesn’t just stop because of your brother.”

“Exactly, so…”

“But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to subject myself to more of his animosity,” Cas says resolutely. “Listen to me. I care about you, about both of you, a great deal. And I can still do that without having to be there. You and Dean have each other. You’ll be just fine without me. You’ve done it before.”

I can’t do this alone.

Yes, you can.

Well, I don’t want to.

A different time, a different conversation. But Sam holds onto it, because it’s what he’s clinging to most right now.

There had been a time that he and Dean had been entirely on their own. But that was more than a decade ago and they were different people then. They were just two young men - kids, really - looking for their dad and trying to kill their mother’s murderer.

“And what if I don’t want to, Cas?” Sam demands. “I’m tired of having every fucking thing decided for me. Who I talk to. Who my friends are. Who I can let live and who I have to kill myself. My entire life, my fate has been decided for me. Why can’t I decide for a change?”

He pauses, huffing. “Look, Cas. It’s your call, okay? I want you here. I really do. But the question is, what do you want? If you really don’t want to come back, then I’ll just have to accept that.”

Cas hesitates, mulling it over. “I’ll come back,” He promises. “Just not now. Not yet. I need time.”

“Okay,” Sam nods. He can hear the disappointment in his own voice, and remedies that. “Take all the time you need. You need to do what’s best for you.”

“Sam, I know I left in a hurry, and I should’ve talked to you before I did. I want to assure you that this has nothing to do with you,” The angel says softly. “I’m not angry with you. I was shocked that you would go along with locking up Jack, but I understand that when it comes to you and Dean, sometimes there’s an imbalance. You’re a mediator. That’s a primary part of who you are. You try to resolve problems. You felt that you’d messed up making choices when it comes to Jack, so you let Dean be the driver.”

Sam doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what he can say. Cas is more perceptive in ways than Sam can really appreciate sometimes, and he’s right. He vocalizes what Sam has not said even to himself.

“It was wrong that you did what you did. But I forgive you, Sam. I’m not harboring any negative thoughts towards you. We’re still friends, whether Dean is involved or not. You’re free to call me, or text me, whenever you wish. I’ll answer.”

Sam closes his eyes, fighting another wave of emotion. “Yeah, me too. You be safe out there, all right? Take care of yourself? And call me if you need anything?”

“Of course.”

“See you later, Cas.”

“Take care, Sam.”

Sam hangs up and feels his heart shatter just a little more.

#spn #supernatural #sastiel #spn spoilers #15.03 #ep: the rupture

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kylosrehn · 6 years

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aos for the ask meme. or, if you've already gotten that (or you just wanna do both) the wider MCU.

the first character i ever fell in love with: Skye. Or Ward. I can’t really remember which came first. Probably Skye because she was so relatable and quirky and positive but I also loved grumpy pretending-not-to-care SO Ward.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: Skye… or Daisy I guess. I started losing interest around halfway through S2 with the whole Afterlife plot (and then just stopped watching the show altogether after the S2 finale lol) but S3 was the one that really left a bad taste in my mouth. And the start of S4 with emo vigilante Daisy. I don’t dislike her, but it’s a far cry from the love I had for her in the early days. Same with Jemma, actually. I really liked her in S1, this cute, quirky if slightly awkward scientist willing to bend the rules when she believes it’s the right thing to do. Afterwards things got… complicated. I like her more on her own, outside of FS scenes (which, when does that ever happen?) Can she/they ever have a storyline that doesn’t involve saving the other one? For science? No?

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Hmm… I don’t think I have one? Once I decide I like something, I fall for it pretty hard. lol. I guess Daisy/Lincoln. That’s a funny one, because when they sort of started flirting in S2 I liked the idea of them together, and I thought they had a lot of potential. But once it actually happened I wasn’t into it at all. It felt kinda rushed and I just didn’t really see any chemistry between them. It was an ‘expectations vs. reality’ sort of thing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: Oh gosh… Fitz, I guess? I mean, obviously I’m trash for Ophelia but I actually wasn’t all that fond of the whole Aida arc at the beginning… I liked her more in the Framework, and all the potential she had as a human (or Inhuman, whatever.) It’s funny because he sort of grew on me. I admittedly didn’t pay much attention to him in S1 because I was so wrapped up in Skyeward, but once they killed that storyline and started developing his character from the nerdy sidekick/comic relief to an actual, fleshed-out character dealing with brain damage, then yes I became involved. Still mourned the untimely demise of Skyeward in S2 though.

prettiest character: Fitz or Ward if it’s more ‘handsome’ pretty. Out of the ladies… Daisy, I suppose? Also Stephanie Malick because personal bias - yes I’ve loved Bethany Joy Lenz since One Tree Hill and they totally should’ve let her stick around for longer than two episodes god damn it.

my most hated character: I’m not particularly fond of Jemma. Or what they’ve done with her, I suppose. But god damn it if there’s one character I hate it’s Ruby. Really glad that arc is over.

my OTP: This one’s pretty obvious. Skye/Ward and Fitz/Ophelia. Hehe.

my NOTP: Fitzsimmons sorry not sorry.

favorite episode: (In no particular order): 5.14, 4.16 and 1.17. Self Control and, frankly, all the Framework episodes, are strong contenders, but that’s my podium.

saddest death: I’ve got to say Fitz. Mostly because it was so sudden and I honestly wasn’t expecting it at all. I genuinely didn’t think they’d have the balls to kill off one half of FS, especially on-screen. I was literally expecting him to miraculously pull through and just have his legs amputated or something. It felt so surreal. Of course, then they brought CryoFitz back into play so really it was all just one big cop-out (figures) but the shock factor was definitely there. It was just the right amount of sad and downright distressing and even unsettling, with the way he didn’t fully comprehend what was happening and just…slipped away. I also really liked how they didn’t cheapen the moment by making it all about FS, which was… honestly such a nice surprise? I preferred the shocked and unaware approach they took, and how he spent his last moments with… kind of the two most unlikely people - May whom he hasn’t ever really bonded with, a relationship which is made especially awkward by their experience in the Framework and the ‘super villain interrogation’ in 5.15; and Mack, who literally told him days or even hours earlier that he needs ‘fixing.’ It was all very weird and bizarre and surprising, and definitely felt like a solid punch to the gut. At least, until they straight up announced they’re going to essentially retcon it… Eh. Also, Ophelia? Maybe less sad and more just downright disturbing and gratuitously violent and graphic.

favorite season: If Season 1 and 4.16-20 and 5.14 could somehow be merged into one season… that would be it. lol. Overall, I have to say S1. Most people hate it and call it the weakest season and, sure, it felt very formulaic and had this predictable ‘monster of the week’ format at first but it was genuinely enjoyable to watch. Every other season after that I just found myself getting angry at something. lol. I actually liked pretty much every character in S1 to some degree and because nothing was set in stone or made explicitly canon yet, there was a lot more freedom shipping-wise. There was no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ship, or ‘no you can’t like this character because of X, Y, Z’ it was just whatever you were into. For a while it seemed like pretty much all combinations of the Bus Kids ships had a decent chance of sailing. That’s a pretty damn good feeling.

least favorite season: Hands down Season 5. I wasn’t a fan of Season 3 either (though admittedly I did like certain episodes/aspects of it) and Season 2 could’ve done without that whole ‘Real SHIELD’ plot but Season 5 takes the cake. I mean… seriously. It was a let down, especially after the hugely successful Framework arc (the show’s strongest point so far imo.) So naturally there was a lot of expectation and it kind of fell flat. They had maybe 2 or 3 strong episodes. The rest was riddled with plot holes, blatant fan service, lines that sounded like they pulled straight from fanfic, radical and often inexplicable shifts in character behaviour from one episode to the next that could be classified as borderline character assassination, frequent lack of continuity, too much time spent on characters that ultimately turned out to be irrelevant/got quickly killed off, writers seemingly forgetting what had happened in literally the previous episode, etc. There’s really no excuse for that mess. lol. Not to mention the at times pretty obvious budget cuts and the lack of decent lighting which made the space pod downright unwatchable at times. Really feels like the weakest, most disjointed and confused season of all. Which is a shame. Because it could’ve been great. But it just really… wasn’t.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: I don’t want to say Jemma but… Jemma? I guess part of the problem is that I feel there tends to be a discrepancy between the actual canonic on-screen representation of Jemma and fanon Jemma, at least in my experience. She (and Daisy) seem to get put on this imaginary pedestal a lot of the time and given leeway and all these concessions that other characters aren’t allowed. Sometimes I think I hate fandom’s approach to and treatment of certain characters more than I hate the actual character. Also, Mack and Bobbi? I feel like they’re pretty massive fandom faves as well and I never really got invested in them. I don’t hate them, they’re just… Meh.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Leopold, the ultimate trash fave. Hehe. He’s just so deliciously messed up and complex and it’s so much fun to explore all of that. He’s like the one villain AOS completely unintentionally got right. Magnetic, charismatic, complicated. Sure, he only ever really shows up in about five episodes but in those five or six episodes they build a really solid character. We’re not told or shown everything, but that’s the point. Sometimes the implication is enough - and it’s super fun to fill in those gaps. And those suits. I mean, c’mon. lol

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Literally no one on this show is a cinnamon roll anymore. lol. I think Ophelia easily could’ve had a really satisfying redemption arc if the writers were actually willing to get into that instead of just shelving their more complex characters and turning to the safe option of ‘let’s kill the baddie.’ Ward could’ve possibly been redeemed too (up to a certain point at least) but I guess part of his appeal is that he didn’t want to be? Uh… and out of the still alive ones (kind of??), Fitz. He’s had a really tough time literally since S2. I also liked Mace and Radcliffe and I kind of wish they got to stick around for a bit longer.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Fitz/Ophelia. Obviously. I guess one of the more weirder ones is Hive/Stephanie. That’s… not remotely canon (I mean, I guess they kissed? lol) but in my headcanon Framework verse it is. Let’s be honest, there’s probably tons more because I always latch on to the more obscure stuff, but I can’t really think of anything else at the moment.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Philinda and Mackelena. I don’t ship either but I guess I can kind of see the appeal and I wish them all the best for the sake of the shippers because both of these pairings are frequently overshadowed by… well, the main ship. I can totally understand and sympathize with their frustration.

#replies #ask meme #fandom wank #discourse™#thanks for asking! <3 #also i might go back and edit this later and add the mcu stuff #but right now i'm just so exhausted lol #ilosttrackofthings

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midsummernightsread · 6 years

Text

2017 was a year to be reckon with. Beyond the obvious, political environment, on a personal level, on all levels, this year was one that I would prefer to use as a learning lesson. So, just as warning, this will be a long post.

BOOKS, BOOKS & MORE BOOKS

I reached my Goodreads goal of 200 books this year 😀 Super excited about that because not only did I not reach it last year but I hit constant book walls this year. Between books that couldn’t keep my interest, books that did not live up to the hype and my own expectations and finally books that were poorly written, my book year has been full of highs and lows.

However, I did hit some fantastic reads, some good reads and some pretty covers, that I want to share.

Fantastic Reads

Crown Books for Young Readers Published Sept. 12, 2017 384 Pages

Algonquin Young Readers Published Sept. 19, 2017 272 Pages

HarperCollins Published July 25, 2017 288 Pages

Why were these books fantastic reads? They were engaging, diverse, honest and creative. The plot kept me on my toes, the characters had development and growth. The world, in which the story is set, felt real like opening my front door. Some of these reads fed my love of history and mythology, while other fed my love for a sappy love story. Either way, my fantastic reads of 2017 are highly recommended.

Good Reads

Dutton Books for Young Readers Published Sept. 26, 2017

Kodansha Comics Published Oct. 25, 2016 304 Pages

Why were these books good reads? They didn’t hit all of my points previously mentioned in Fantastic reads. But they did keep me engaged for most of the book and I loved the character. Also these good reads, have a very strong foundation and although not 5 Pickles perfect, I am happy to have read them and read the next book in their series if it applies.

Pretty Covers

Algonquin Young Readers Published Sept. 19, 2017 272 Pages

Flatiron Books TBP Jan. 30, 2018 368 Pages

What’s a year in review, if I don’t display some gorgeous covers. Some of these books I have read, while others I have not been able to get to yet. But aren’t they just beautiful to look at!

WHAT TANYA HAS BEEN UP TO THIS YEAR

So as mentioned this year has been a unexpected force that put a lot of things in perspective. Firstly, I was able to visit my husband in Japan for two weeks and I was able to go to Dominican Republic this year as well. Both were amazing and it made me realize how attainable traveling can be, if you put your money in order. Because of these adventures, I have the wanderlust bug and actively planning a bunch of trips for 2018.

On a emotional level, I have been a mess. I have been missing my husband dearly and the toll of living on the other side of the world was heavy. It’s still heavy but it is much more manageable. We made celebrated two anniversaries this year. 6 years when we started dating or when I stopped being a butt and said sure (October 3rd) and 4 years when we said I do (December 6th). I tend to get a bit emotional when its comes to my Husband because when we met when I was emotionally and spiritually in bad shape. He stuck around even when I didn’t want him to. He means a lot to me and I can’t wait until his deployment is over and he is home for good.

On another note, school has been kicking my butt and the back and forth of if I should even keep going with my masters degree has been a unanswered question for months now. I am leaning towards banging out this final year (InshaAllah) but I am just not into this classes like I thought I would be. But I did better this semester, so hopefully I can keep that going.

I struggled a lot with past Tanya and current Tanya. Past Tanya was getting bored and tired of being in the past and wanted to explore some newfound freedoms, while current Tanya is not for that mess. But because of certain life changing decisions it was hard to stop those thoughts and move forward with the obvious right and better choice. Past Tanya has taken a step back and I pray that it will be for good. Because when I say she was a mess…smh just so messy.

I learned that self-care is needed not every once in a while but all the time and that it can take different forms. For me going to the library or bookstore, taking a bath and disconnecting from social media, have been the best methods I have learned and used a lot this year. I am still growing in this area because me and emotions aren’t the best of friends but I am proud of myself. I had less panic attacks than I did in 2016, so that counts right? Lol

On a second note, I saw my first ballet, went to a Harry Potter experience, watch old anime in a movie theater, met new people, started wearing lipstick, won a few arc giveaways and a bunch of other stuff. Although this year had some downs, the highs were highs but most importantly I lived and got to thank God for that everyday.

Social Media

As of today I have the following followers on each channel I run:

Instagram: viewsfromthe_desktop : 78 Followers

WordPress: motif by Tanya : 122 Subscribers

Twitter: @motifink 408 Followers

I have been participating in various twitter chats and hash tags. Social media is taking a lot of my time and I had made it my mission that every month, I will take a week vacation from it. However, despite the overload, I have been putting myself and Motif by Tanya out there and it is visible in the increase of followers. I even began writing monthly updates and topic specific blogs. During this year (2017) I forgot how much I enjoy writing and started making time for it despite my growing responsibilities. I love this renewal and in 2018, I tend to work on my writing more.

What Tanya Wants 2018

There are several goals I am reaching for this year, book related and in real life.

Book Goals:

Clear out my arc queue on Netgalley

Attend book conventions and festivals

Book Con

Bronx Festival

Y’all Fest

Book Expo

Novateen Book Fest

Well Read Black Girl Fest

Begin posting on either Amazon or Goodreads

Start a YouTube channel

Travel Goals:

Baltimore

Bday Cruise

Seattle

Paris

Chicago

Personal Goals:

Pray 5 daily prayers on time

Quran reading

Learn Arabic

Start rockclimbing again

Learn to fence

Learn to bake bread and make a pie from scratch

Volunteer

Learn to drift & drive a stick

Professional Goals:

Begin freelance writing

Move up in my current company

Own a business

What Tanya Wants New Releases: January 2017

Now what can be a end of the year, beginning of the year wrap up without my anticipated reads for January 2017 🙂

I do plan on participating in #unreadshelfproject2018 but with so many new reads I am waiting for this year, I am going to modify my goal. For every 3 tbr books, physical and digital, that I have, I will read one of wants. Sounds fair right 🙂

In Conclusion:

I know that this was a long post and it could have been several posts spaced out during the week but it was great therapy. What is that saying, speak it into existence? Not only am I doing that but praying first and foremost. Is this considered a new year’s resolution? Naw not really. Motif by Tanya is a book review and author interview website but it is also my baby that I put a lot of time in. It’s time to make her stand out and if that means showing a little bit more of me every so so then so be it.

Peace and Blessings, Ya’ll ❤

Year in Review: 2017 2017 was a year to be reckon with. Beyond the obvious, political environment, on a personal level, on all levels, this year was one that I would prefer to use as a learning lesson.

#fantasy #favorite reads #festivals #holly black #instagram #New year #personal #twitter #what tanya wants #Wrap Up #YA books

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