#this country is a fucking joke and i might as well die i cant keep on living like this

[the-kipsabian]

im just gonna complain idk

but like. i applied for payment helps last week. i got a message back today that apparently between receiving my application and working on it to make decisions, some law changes happened and now they are enforcing the preset cost of living limit harder than before when applying for these things before they make decisions on whether or not you qualify for this kind of help or not

this thing is already incredibly difficult to apply for properly and to get in sums that actually help much of anything. previously if your living costs were above the limit, they just shrugged it off depending on the sum and just deducted that from the amount they paid to you. this has never been an issue for me before, ive been applying for this every few months while being unemployed for years

with this new change, however. my living costs are 27.65 euros above the limit. twenty. fucking. seven. and they are making an issue out of that. and by making an issue out of it, it not only delays them making decisions on my application (and me getting money which at this point and around this time of year is not only fucking irritating but also affects like everything else going on rn), but with the new law it apparently comes with a requirement for me to either offer reasoning why im living in an apartment "above my affordable living costs" OR they are gonna cut my benefits and force me to look for a cheaper apartment for a few months until i can prove its impossible (this is literally one of the cheapest one bedroom apartments in this entire city. what in the fuck. we looked around with friends this morning when i broke the news and the only places that are under the 498€ cost limit this city has for some fucking reason are in places that no unemployed carless person - that i am - will be able to live in. but nooooo i have to keep looking)

im just. this whole thing makes no sense. its so fucking stressful. they keep the preset limit the same throughout the years but dont count in the fact that not only are small, cheap apartments more and more difficult to find every fucking year, but that the actual cost of living and rent and shit keeps going up all the time. im literally only applying for this payment help cause im out of everything else. the rent is not the fucking issue here, its literally everything else. me having to suddenly try to find a new apartment and move (which, ofc, they wouldnt help me with at all. cause obviously) is not going to fucking help, cause all they are gonna do with that is cut my pre-existing rent help to match that rent price and im still out of fucking money

im stressed out, im exhausted, i woke up to this fucking mess after barely sleeping for a few hours, im in both mental and physical pain rn and im just. im so ready to give up if they dont accept my explanation on how i need this place and these payments in full cause theres literally no other feasible options in this city for me without it making me physically and socially separated from everything and everyone which will be disastrous for my mental and physical wellbeing. im so fucking tired

merry christmas to me or whatever i have never wanted to kill myself more than i do right now sorry

[spicypopcornfromhell]

Oh look a vent post

Tw for suicide, suicide attempts self harm abusive household, cynicism, depressive behaviour and more, dysphoria being the new addition.

If you press read more and i ruined your day its on you, you have been fucking warned

Ik i shouldn't but i have nowhere else to throw these thoughts and unfortunately ill put it here

Final fucking warning if you struggle with depression or anything above DONT FUCKING INTERACT WITH THIS.

Dont. Its for your own saftey

I dont know how much longer i can keep up the façade between the memes and the horny posts, the only thing that gives me any reason to live is a future i might never have. A future ruined by greedy old men in suits.

Im trans now but everytime i turn off my phone i see the same old cis dude with stubble bc shaving is getting tedious. I keep doing this why? Why do i do this ehy cant i just FEEL like a women i know im trans but everytime i look in a fucking mirror i feel shit. I sometimes wish the pills worked, i took too little.

Fucking im 18 and yet i get treated like a child in real life. The bad way aswell. Peaple irl tell me i talk too much and i should just shut up. Idk even know if im autistic "enough"to get treatment. Ik for a fact i have adhd but online tests are telling me fuckoll. Tho multiple peaple irl tell me im def adhd, i have so so so much symptoms of autism. I blend in with some autistic peaple but i feel fake. I dont feel like me anymore im just some fucked up husk smiling at peaple bc i cant fucking reveal to peaple how i feel irl. The internet is my safe blanket. No one knows me here. I can be WHAT i want to be but when i close this phone and I look in the mirror im just dude. Short hair testosterone chubby cant pick up shit. Im too fucked to be a women or a man. I can be neather. Mabye if i die i dont have to feel like anything but im too scared to try. Ive been trying to get better and im clean since the 18 of dec 2023. I hate myself. I wish i was some cis women instead. But life wants to watch me longingly stare at models online, wishing i could be them.

Having a cis person assume bc i talk to women i wanna fuxk her is so so fuxked up im so tired of it. Having a dad who loves me yet fucks me around emotionally tell me "I MUST HAVE KIDS" like i dont work with kids i just cant it pisses me off indont lilke kids.

5 fuxkinng weaks im botteling this up 5 fucking weaks i cant look in a mirror. Those nudes, were the closest i get to be a women, not even hrt is gonna save me at this point.

Rubbing salt into my scars and jerking off is the few hits of dopamine that still works. And some friends but noone irl reallly cares abt me, im the disposable vape in human form. One hit of dopamine and contentment is suddenly a joke. 6 peaple make the mistake of sticking with me. Alot of peaple online too. They and a few peaple are the only tether i have rn.

The housing markets gone to hell and i dont have MARKETABLE skills i can voice act sure but ai will fuck me over there. I can be annoying. Ads do my job better. I cannot draw art and i get like just above fail for everything. I cant do sports i cant motivate myself bc some teacher thinks traumatised children can learn, well fuck you mister S yelling at a kid who had writing issues isnt the way to teaxh i child. I fuxkign ger nauseous everytime i see complcated math equations. Its better now but like 7 years later. So any "self proclamed business" work wont save me

My current ccountry has a 55% unemployment rate and im going to a conservative town in canada. Tho i hope things are better there i so so hope mabye a new country might kinda help

Goinng back to my inescapable family problems im essentially the fucking mule. I poar drinks and i wash the dishes and most of the family's clothes. I bring the cigarettes and i (often) mow the lawn. I have to do the "manly" tasks bc wowie i have a dick and corse voice. I bairly get thanked aswell. Only thanks i got was being the emotional punching bag. Yk why else have a sun. Bc who else do you take the anger out on. Fucking get told i do good work the one day then i get belittled the next. The fuck am i supposed to feel anymore.

I want to relive a different childhood, i want to be a kid again, but with a fresh start. But i cant. God knows how i deel with all this. But i have friends that would be sad to see me go. But im a burden and a cancer and the only way to get rid of cancer is to cut it off tho i wont do that rn. I cant. I just cant. Want to but i cant.

Ill add latwr or nah idk. But i dont know

Sorry if you read this

[areyouafraid]

im really gonna crack up man like im really gonna lose my shit one of these days.

ive sent application after application to all these different dumps for the last 3 months and none of them have come back. none of them pay more than maybe 15 an hour at best. and this fucking freelance thing i just tried to look into to at least supplement me with a form of income while i look for a job is a total shitshoot its garbage i flat out dont even know if i can do it. im 19 right now im lucky im not like fucking paying rent or anything. but i sure will have to eventually! it's bad enough i feel like a fuckup who can't keep a job after i got fired from my last dump but like. only so much time

virtually all of my family and friends age 20 - 30 live in fucking dumpy little tenement apartments and those are the ones who can even get places of their own. dont know if i even know anyone who makes more than like maybe 30K a year. and i think we're still the lucky ones. my parents got a 3 bedroom house back in 2001 and i live with them. but i cant live here forever, like financially socially emotionally thats just not... feasible for me. i think they said a little over 11% of americans live under the poverty line? and then there's a study that says america has the worst poverty rate out of 26 "developed" nations. this country is a fucking sick little joke. an empire built off of genocide that brutalizes the rest of the world while its citizens rot in the streets. a twisting labyrinth of dead-end jobs and unwalkable cities with nothing to do but toil and die. what is new york city if not a giant factory town? and this does not even cover one one-eighth of what is wrong with this stupid shitshow of a country

and whatever i know i should just be grateful for what i have (what do i have?) and i know it's a common sentiment among poor / impoverished people to be like well you just need to hustle harder well this is just how it is etc etc but like just what an absurd fucking way to think like you guys are fucking high. people shouldn't live like this. people can't live like this. it's not sustainable. it's not realistic. we have to have a right to shelter and food and literally at the bare minimum to fucking survive like... i mean for fuck's sake there are wild dogs who live in tiny rock dens smeared with their own shit and blood who still have a better quality of life than human beings in our beautiful utopian capitalist society. at least ants and wolves look out for each other. what happens when you fall sick or become homeless in america? what happens if you don't have enough money in america?

with every new day i feel more and more like anything resembling a fulfilling life is just not possible here. i don't know where else i would go. i know travel is expensive. idk i just like. i know this is my home and it does feel like a cop-out but i can't live like this. nobody can live like this. fuuuuck this. honest to christ even if north korea was actually one quarter as bad as US propaganda says it is that would be better than this. at least under the Cold Cruel Hand of Communism i'd have something to fall back on. i'd be insured and have a place to live. what do we have in capitalist america? a weak nod of acknowledgement? and you know what my least favorite part of "patriotic" american bullshit is? if this is really the "best country on earth" we might as well just start organizing mass suicides.

and now with senile old fuck biden regurgitating israeli propaganda and encouraging the senseless murder of palestinians i just think. and this is the guy democrats wanted. this is the guy that republicans were shitting themselves over telling themselves he'd turn america communist or whatever. god if youre still even taking calls from this fucking tragedy of a planet i hope some sort of incurable and highly infectious plague breaks out inside the white house and all of those stupid fucks end up with abscesses forming inside their brains. it might not fix anything but it'd take some of those perverted vultures off the face of the earth so it'd be a nice pick-me-up at least. UGHHHHHHHHHH

[thunderheadfred]

🦈Kirishima HC’s🦈

Absolutely no one asked for this i just like him a lot

He’s an adult in all of these. 20s-30s at least. Some NSFW because I’m a big perv. Minors do not interact. Shoo.

- - - - -

General:

He is in the dictionary under Himbo, right next to Kronk.

Works part-time as a fitness instructor before making a name for himself as a pro hero. Most of his clients are middle-aged women, because he makes people feel safe. Before long, word gets around and he amasses this like. Loyal army of jacked housewives and older ladies who are his biggest possible fans. They mother-hen him like crazy.

Has a large and complicated extended family. Lots of cousins. You will never learn all their names, don’t even try. I have no idea if his parents have canon occupations but no matter what Horikoshi says, they actually own a mountain onsen. Kirishima went to the city by himself to go to middle/high school, his family is all off in the country somewhere and he gets homesick a lot but never admits it. He’s broke for a long time even after making it as a pro hero, because he sends most of his money back home.

He’s a dog dad. You cannot, WILL not convince me otherwise. Big dogs. Small dogs. Fancy dogs. Ugly dogs. He has a whole pack. He calls them all baby, sweetie, pupper, the worst and most embarrassing baby talk. Tells them about his day. All of his furniture is wrecked. He’s an active member in online dog groups, where he is careful to use a pseudonym and never show his face, but eventually people are going to figure out that Red Riot’s dogs look an awful lot like this one user’s....

He’s in a casual taiko group, always on the o-daiko. Loves participating in festivals and parades. He has never, ever, not once, worn a shirt while drumming. Probably has been gifted at least one antique taiko drum for his hero work, and he keeps it in his house but is too afraid to play it because it’s scary valuable “uhh it’s definitely haunted”

Regularly goes out drinking. Socially and responsibly, like clockwork, always with the same people. He’s a goddamned lightweight, and no one understands why. Will mope if he has to miss a night out at the izakaya.

So he’s clean, but sloppy. House looks like a tornado ripped through it, and nothing he owns matches. Not a single thing. I mentioned the dogs.

Will absolutely use “manly” as a replacement for “awesome,” and will constantly tell you how manly you are. Your actual gender is a non-issue. If you hang out with him for more than five minutes you’re manly as hell now.

He cries a lot? Sometimes it’s for show but he gets genuinely misty-eyed over the dumbest things. Do NOT show him pictures of puppies.

He’s good at braiding hair. His or yours. When his hair isn’t hardened, he likes doing all kinds of wacky stuff with it. He usually keeps it long enough for braids, ponies, buns, quirk-assisted faux-hawks, whatever. Mina has given him many bad ideas. He will definitely steal your hair bands and accessories, if you use them.

His fridge is just like, meat and beer. He will, if forced, consume perhaps one single vegetable. Unfortunately, his B.O. reflects this. God bless him - he showers and bathes daily, because he works out a lot and is just generally hygienic. But don’t ever touch his socks barehanded.

He wears the cheapest, most predictable cologne you can imagine, the kind that comes in an aerosol can and punches a hole in the ozone every time he sprays his pits. It smells stupidly good on him. How. so fucking manly. you kind of hate him for getting away with it.

- - - - -

And now, the 🌶 Spicy Ones 🌶

Does not date or hook up much; wants a serious relationship.

Has a tough time getting dates, weirdly. He’s still secretly insecure, but mostly he’s got rocks for brains and never knows how to flirt. He ends up friendzoning most of the people interested in him, because he is, in fact, a little too chivalrous for his own good and can never make the first move. He’s an emotional open book, but clueless romantically. I recommend being extremely straightforward. Draw him a map if you have to.

Is afraid to kiss you too deeply because of the teeth. Will take a lot of gentle encouragement to get him comfortable, but once he knows you’re safe, he’s going to be kissing you all the time. Like, too much. People are gawking, Kiri, for God’s sake.

He radiates massive doses of husband/dad energy. Will immediately marry the hell out of you. If you are capable of and willing to have his children, you are going to get extremely pregnant. Very quickly. Not necessarily a breeding kink (though why not), he just really wants to start a family with you.

He’s Big. Just huge. Tall and broad, and also... his dick is a summit and you will need to prepare for the climb. He’s had problems in the past because no, not everybody wants ALL THAT inside them. That said, if you can handle it? Woof.

Hard as a rock is No Joke with this man. Can and WILL use his quirk on his dick. If you don’t think that’s the first thing he mastered as a teenager I dont know what to tell you. Ever used a glass dildo? Well buckle up cuz it’s like if a massive glass dildo whispered sweet nothings in your ear and held you close in big strong arms and fucked you till you cried. It’s a sometimes thing. Otherwise you’d simply pass away.

He loves your brains. Your smarts and wit are a huge turn on, and he gets a boner when you use a word he doesn’t know. He also loves fucking your brains completely out, so that you cant use any words at all.

He’s a devout church-going body-worshipper. He’s so jacked that’s it’s constantly intimidating, like, how dare you stand next to this chiseled statue of a man?! but whether you love power-lifting with him or would rather die than exercise, he’s gonna treat you like the prettiest fucking piece of cake on planet earth.

Size kink ahoy; he gets his big grabby mitts on you... and you psychologically lose three feet. Doesn’t matter how tall or small or fat or thin you are, you are getting groped, squeezed, and manhandled. You didn’t even know it was possible to get thrown around like that; always onto something soft.

Not dominant. Not unless you ask very, very nicely. had a brief pushy phase at the peak of his teenage manliness obsession, unconsciously trying to be more like Bakugou, but he quickly realized controlling people wasn’t really him. It certainly isn’t very manly. Doesn’t want any toxic masculinity in his love life, even as roleplay.

That said, he can and will be a soft dom, if that’s what you want. After some practice, he’d get pretty good at it too. But his natural sexual groove is goofy, a bit awkward. Usually finds a non-sexual excuse to touch you at first; prepare to get tickled a lot. If you sit in his lap it’s all over.

If you get dominant with him, even a little, he’s gonna turn to putty in your hands. Go ahead and boss that big dumb puppy around. Nothing turns him on like seeing you get exactly what you want.

You’ll have morning wood pressed up against your ass. Every damn day. He might hump and grope you in his sleep, moaning a little. Usually it just wears off. If you wake him up to fuck, he’ll have no idea what’s going on but will be like “hell yeah i guess this is happening”

Gives oral like a starving man. Has absolutely zero reservations, because he knows his tongue and hands can’t hurt you. Will be as loud and messy as possible. If you get embarrassed or shy about it, he’s going to mumble sweet talk directly into your junk until your teeth fall out.

He’s vocal in bed. Growly. A moaning groaning disaster. He says the sweetest, gentlest things... has the cleanest dirty talk you’ve ever heard, but tenderness filtered through his bourbon-barrel chest comes out all dark and rumbly, especially when he’s close. you feel his “I love you” in your bones

He thinks making his partner cum is the manliest thing he can do. Any orgasm is good, but if you cum untouched on his dick, he’ll be riding that high for days

[gr0veyard]

Ooc.; also other stuff im giving my 2 Cents to, so skip if you dont care

[[MORE]]

Puberty blockers:

PBs are not irreversible lmao. They don't mutilate a minors body. They merely keep puberty on hold long enough for the minor in question to have time to make sure they want to transition. PUBERTY is what is irreversible. Imagine going thru puberty and growing into a body that at worst will make you wanna KYS and at best hate looking at yourself in the mirror. Do you know how expensive transition can be after puberty? PLEASE do more research before making asinine statements like PBs being comparable to mutilation. PBs only hold puberty as long as theyre being taken, meaning that if you stop taking em puberty will set in just as it usually would.

"Even hormone blockers and transitional hormones are largely untested when it comes to long term effects" is a baseless claim which a little googling can be disproven.

"One of my friends in high school medically transitioned, and it did nothing to help their dysphoria. It just made them even more depressed, and they later killed themselves." I'm sorry for your loss, genuinly. That really sucks. But as much it makes me look like an asshole for saying this, this is an appeal to emotion (aka not factually backing your other claims) and also circumstancial. If your friend's suicide was tied to their transition, their case is just that: theirs. One of the biggest contributors to trans suicude rates is the unattainability of affordable transition and dysphoria caused by the changes made by puberty, only topped by abuse from people towards trans people. By advocating for PBs to be prohibited or limited, you don't help. You make the problem worse.

Communism:

"I’m against Communist and Fascism as they’re both extremely Authoritarian systems that give the government complete control over how you live your life." Since I'm a socialist and not a communist I cant speak for communism, but most allegedly communist states today still basically operate on a capitalist core, where they have communist parties etc., but still have a free market for instance. China for example, but Russia too.

Capitalism amasses copious amounts of wealth on the backs of the lower class in a short amount of time but is ultimately unsustainable. Vaush on youtube has a number of videos on this I recommend you to check out.

Healthcare:

"You can’t have a right to the services and labor of another person, their own freedom is taken away by that." No one is saying that should happen. Ideally, the state pays for this healthcare and before you say anything about that: I'm from a country without america's privatized healthcare. It's never been an issue here, people aren't fucking terrified shitless to go to the doctor bc they could go into crippling debt. Sure, you gotta wait a lil longer than someone w a private insurance company (which still exists but isnt necessary to live) in the waitingroom but that's annoying at worst.

I went to america end of 2019 to visit my gf and I fell really ill there. I had to go to the doctor there and I nearly felt my soul leave my body when I had to pay 100 FUCKING DOLLARS HOLY SHIT. thats nearly a fourth of my monthly income bro, how can you claim this to be okay? Ofc medstaff still need to be paid but oh my gods this is not okay. If I had to live with this system for the rest of my life it's fair to say I'd never go to the fucking doctor. And that'd be worse for the docs AND FOR ME.

"If you die or develop incurable illness awaiting treatment for months, there’s nothing anyone can do. If you’re treated right away and unfortunately end up with loads of medial debt, it’s unfortunate, but you’re still alive. You can still try to fundraise money, get donations, or if you’re skilled, work it off. It’s really shitty, but necessary." N- no????? It reaLLY ISNT THOUGH??? As I've stated before, this is not an issue w public healthcare. It's smth that's an issue in general and it DOES happen in america right now. Where I live this doesnt happen to my knowledge. Why should it? The gov is gonna pay anyway so might as well get it done and get the next patient. You shouldnt have to go into debt to live. That's not humane.

"I don’t think the poor should die, I don’t want the suffering to be left to their fate." Contradictory to the part where you think going into debt is necessary. Being in debt IS suffering. *I* am in debt, and I suffer because of it everyday. And it's not because of healthcare.

When going into debt to heal is your only option as an alternative to possibly dying or suffering on, then making that choice is like having to choose between the black plague and cholera.

"Buy a gun, grow a garden, learn to build shelter, and make plans to invade a neighboring territory and become it’s technocratic warlord after your country collapses into an unlivable hellscape." Making a joke like this at the end of a post about serious topics like this is kind of trivializing the entire issue and a little disrespectful. Don't do that please. It's like you're comparing to Fallout 4 and I shouldn't need to point out why that's bad.

At the end of the day, Im not trying to change your mind bc thats futile and not my job. But I do absolutely intend to fact check claims I know for a fact are BS, or educate myself to make my own judgement, and so should you. If you want to know how truthful smth is, listen to multiple scources (centrist AND leftist) and crosscompare wether what you hear abt certain leftist ideas is in fact true or not.

Or dont and continue living in an echochamber. Your call.

Have a nice day.

[scottspack]

My Wife Has An 18 Hour Drive Fic Rec Roundup

I wanted to make a fic rec post for the insane amount of Untamed fic ive been reading anyways, and Chi @got2ghost​ is driving halfway across the country tomorrow, so there’s no time like the present to put all of the really great fics ive read over the past couple of weeks in one location! Let’s get it poppin!

Ones That Chi Already Read:

A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k)

The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt completely and wholly fulfilled by the resolution found in this fic. 10/10 cant recommend enough. 

One Rouge Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan E, 5k)

He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.

In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!!

Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he brings him back from the Burial Mounds until they bring Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I reread this fic at LEAST once a week. *chefs kiss*

Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)

or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

***

He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.

That impression does not last.

A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Wangji and Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and the peacock?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)

Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."

"Can I be of any assistance with it?"

He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

In the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.

Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."

WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.

Ones That Chi Has Yet To Read:

My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k)

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

Or: The story of a marriage.

I LOVE THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it.

The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)

Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.

Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.

Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.

The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....

A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k)

“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”

Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”

Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.

Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.

"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"

Lan Jingyi comes of age.

A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.

Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)

Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.

"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.

Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.

A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!

This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)

Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?

Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.

To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!

History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)

“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”

Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.

Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of his cousin Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.

Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)

In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.

(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)

I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)

“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

“I think so,” Sizhui says.

“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

“Yes,” Sizhui says.

“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.

Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.

The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”

Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.

"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."

At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

It’s smut! What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!

Sweet Night by thejillyfish (Wangxian, E, 10k)

It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.

That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.

In-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!

Shadows In The Sun Rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k)

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is.....fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! 

WHEW OKAY that’s enough for right now!

I’m constantly reading new fics all the time so maybe eventually I’ll make a second one if Chi actually reads/likes any of these (they’re picky!), or if anyone else likes this list and wants updates.

TO CHI: Thank you for getting me into The Untamed! I love you! I had the best time texting you every thought that passed through my head while I watched it. I’ve loved all of the content you’ve sent me from the book and the comic. I’ve loved making fun of Yibo with you. I’ve loved being your fic taste tester. Life sucks right now but at least we have wangxian!

TO EVERYONE ELSE: If you read any of these fics please come to my DMs and talk to me about them! I have a lot of feelings and love to cry over fics! Thank you!

[syfynjvall]

OTP ASK GAME - farah & juliette

tagged by @havennly thank u!! i’m gonna tag @agentnatesewell @bryceslahela @agentfreckles @serafinedupont @agentnats if youve done it already i apologize ksks

(long post warning)

DISAGREEMENTS.

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

juliette, but it’s honestly never anything serious. more often than not its just bc she gets very competitive during game nights

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

neither, even kidding about it kinda hurts each others souls

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither

Who trashes the house?

i cant see either of them doing it

Do either of them get physical?

never in a million years

How often do they argue/disagree?

not often, and when they do its mostly about petty things like leaving empty containers in the fridge

Who is the first to apologize?

both are good about it

SEX.

who is on top? Who is on bottom?

hmmm they switch

any kinks?

welllll jules put on her old cheerleading uniform from college as a joke once and farah was into it. theyre both into roleplay

who has the strangest desires?

jules

who’s dominant in bed?

it’s a pretty even split

is head ever in the equation?

yes

if so, who is better at performing it?

probably farah

ever had sex in public?

once. under the bleachers at the football field. pretty cliché

who moans the most?

uhh both

who leaves the most marks?

farah

who is the more experienced of the two?

definitely jules. she had a LOT of fun in college

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

make love. it’s very special for both of them bc they know they’re gonna last

how long do they usually last?

it depends but both of them can usually go pretty long

rough or soft?

typically soft, but rough if theyre in the mood

is protection used?

no

does it ever get boring?

no

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

dont know? maybe in an empty room in the agency? idk lol

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children/or have children?

oh yeah definitely

if so, how many children do they want/have?

juliette loved the look on farahs face the first time they talked about it and she said she wanted ten kids. it was a joke obv but they probably end up having three or four. jules always wanted siblings growing up and she was sad she never got that wish so she doesnt want her own kids to be lonely like she was

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

both of them are huge cuddle bugs and they get cozy almost everywhere

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

juliette

who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

both

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

their cuddles can last a while but farah probably wiggles away first

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

they love girls night out and its even more fun when tina joins them. put the three of them together and its basically nonstop chaos, but so fun

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

predictable, but the bed. jules is one of those extravagant mattress people so her bed is basically a giant pillow and its very comfortable

SLEEPING.

who snores?

both

if both do, who snores the loudest?

jules, and you better believe farah teases her relentlessly

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

jules WAS a very picky sleeper until she got together with farah, now she gets pouty if they dont share a bed

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

they cozy up, but juliette is a blanket hog so she usually ends up with most of the covers

what do they wear to bed?

jules usually just wears a top, farah wears pajama sets

are either of them insomniacs?

no

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

not before everything that went down in book one, but since murphy, yeah. jules has a hard time falling asleep now

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

definitely cuddly sleepers

who wakes up with bed hair?

both

who wakes up first?

farah. she’s usually the one to rouse juliette when she’s about to be late

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

neither of them can cook so... neither lol

what is their favourite sleeping position?

farah loves being the little spoon and jules loves making her feel safe so

do they set an alarm each night?

jules does but she hits snooze at least six times a morning

who has nightmares?

juliette, and farah has no problem soothing her back to sleep when she wakes up

can a television be found in their bedroom?

yes. they’re both obsessed with trashy shows

who has ridiculous dreams?

farah!

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

again, juliette is an unfortunate bed hog

who makes the bed?

farah. juliette is cute but she’s not always that tidy

what time is bed time?

whenever jules feels like it, and farah will follow her lead

any routines/rituals before bed?

other than the typical going to bed things, no

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

farah probably

WORK.

who is the busiest?

both are pretty busy but since juliette has two jobs i guess she is a little bit more

who rakes in the highest income?

juliette probably?

are any of them unemployed?

UB gets paid right? so neither then? lol

who takes the most sick days?

juliette. her “bend the rules” stat is at 88%

what are their jobs?

detective and agent

who sucks up to their boss?

definitely not jules. farah might a LITTLE bit since rebecca is juliette’s mom but i think we know how that turns out lmao

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

despite juliette’s aversion for rule following she’s usually pretty puntcual at least, so im gonna say farah

who stresses the most?

im gonna say neither

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

farah loves hers for the most part, jules feels like hers is more of a chore but she does love interacting with people.

are they financially stable?

yes

HOME.

who does the washing?

farah. once again juliette isnt super messy per se, but she is a bit cluttered

who takes out the trash?

both

who does the ironing?

jules is pretty good about that

who does the cooking?

neither. they both try but they’re both disasters so they order out mostly (more than they should)

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

it’s about equal because again, they’re disasters

who is messier?

juliette

who leaves the toilet roll empty?

farah

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

neither

[redacted] you are not going to miss this question.

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

both

who answers the telephone?

juliette

who mows the lawn?

they dont have a lawn

who does the vacuuming?

probably jules

who does the groceries?

when they remember to do it, they like to go together

who takes the longest to shower?

jules

[redacted] you are not going to miss this question.

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

no but farah does love buying stuff

how many cars do they own?

just one

what’s their song?

it changes but rn lucky by jason mraz fits them so well

do they live in the city or in the country?

juliette LOVES city life and farah thinks it would be fun too so they plan to move to the city one day

do they own their home or do they rent?

rented for now, for juliette anyway

do they enjoy their surroundings?

jules has a nostalgic fondness for wayhaven but again, really she’s itching to live in the city. farah likes it too but it’s a little too mellow for her liking sometimes

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

oh my god, theyre both clingy babies so they’ll be pouty and sad and constantly just text each other

where did they first meet?

juliette’s office

who spends the most money when out shopping?

probably farah

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

jules, but farah will too

any mental issues?

juliette definitely has ptsd after book one, and then its worsened after the trappers (she saved farah so she had to see sanja die)

who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

they both do lol

who’s terrified of bugs?

im thinking farah

who kills the spiders around the house?

juliette

do they have any fears for their future?

they’re both afraid of losing each other, mostly. juliette also worries a bit that maybe farah will get sick of her because she’s a “lot,” she was always told by past bfs/gfs that she was a handful or too wild or whatever so she worries she might scare farah off but when she voices that thought farah is very quick to very seriously assure her thats not going to happen

their favourite place?

the bar, also the forest to stargaze or picnic

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

jules, but it’s definitely at a restaurant lol

who pays the bills?

definitely juliette

who’s the tallest?

jules is 5’9, farah is 5′4

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

farah

who wanders around in their underwear?

jules

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

both!! theyre both so goofy about it

what do they tease each other about?

pretty much everything, they’re bantering almost constantly

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

neither of them are exactly fashion experts, so

who crushed first?

juliette

any alcohol or substance related problems?

no, jules enjoys drinking but she knows her limits

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

jules

who swears the most?

both

[obscureobelisk]

Right now, the government, those in power, whatever...

I dont know how people think this isnt going to blow up?

Like obviously its collapsing, and theres already riots being ignored/media blocked in multiple countries....

Like people have kept existing, kept being people, for this fucking long like, did you think we wouldnt? Did you think this would finally break humand?

You're, so wrong, if that what you think. That people will just, somehow give up? Stop loving, and showing compassion, and having faith in each other?

That's a joke right?

Humans will keep being, and trying, and slowly, incrementally getting better. You cant stop fucking humanity. We might be broken, there might be fat glitch in reality...

It doesnt matter? Because humans are still here, and we'll keep existing, and loving, and having faith until the last one of us is left.

And they'll still be out there, all alone, hoping that someone is out there, that someone understands. It doesnt matter, how many oof us die, or suffer, or refuse to change.

Well get there, because we're fucking human. We're made to love. We're made to suffer. And we'll keep trying to share and understand that until we're fucking gone

[yoosungs-hairclips]

Hi, are requests open? *eyes emoji *if so, could you write a headcannon of RFA + Saeran with a college student MC who is barely hanging in there? Some kind of fluff and comical thing please 😍thank you

yes, requests are open! uhh i’m not good with moods- i usually just go with the flow LOL i’m an amateur writer atm, but i tried my best!! unfortunately i do not do saeran, v, or vanderwood HCs or fics at the moment because i don’t know enough about them! please read my request rules next time :-D

umm by struggling college student i assumed you meant like.. academically struggling? especially since you said fluffy and comical. i really hope this is what you meant :,)

1,996 words, 10,555 characters

Yoosung

you both said goodnight to each other a few hours ago, but you needed to study for a little bit

he was super glad that you were focusing on your studies

but not super stoked that you were ignoring your sleep and health to

he gave you a small lecture and went off to bed

….

now it’s 2:24 in the morning

and this man

needs water

right now

or he might just die

he stumbles out of bed, trying to kiss your forehead and see if you’re awake

but ends up faceplanting on the sheets

???????

Panic

IMMEDIATELY dashing through the door, frantically looking around for you

and when he does his heart melts through his ribs

you’re asleep on the dining table

your laptop is in front of you and there’s all sorts of papers underneath you

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………..no…………..

he feels simultaneously mad at himself for not checking on you and disappointed in you for not listening to him

but the latter goes away as soon as he hears you snoring

you must’ve been exhausted

he slowly creeps over to you as to not wake you up (like that would even matter lol you’re out like a LIGHT)

then when he gets over to you he realizes he has NO clue on what to do

he tries to pick you up and carry you to the bed but… he’s… not strong enough

ego? Destroyed

nonetheless, he comes to terms with the fact there’s no way to get you to bed while you’re sleeping

unless he drags you?

no. no he. no he can’t do that

:(

he crouches over

takes a deep breath while brushing your hair out of your face

before lightly tapping your back and whispering to you

…

oh wait he’s an idiot it’s gonna take a lot more than that

he decides on lightly shaking on your back when that doesn’t work for obvious reasons

immediately after you start to stir, a wave of guilt washes over him

even so, he keeps swaying you until your eyes open

he explains that he got up to get water and that he saw you on the t

OH FUCK (x2)

for him, he’s immediately dehydrated

for you, you’re horribly embarrassed your boyfriend of 5 months saw you like this

you desperately try to explain what happened, that you just got carried away studying

i mean

as desperate as you could sound when you’ve been asleep for about 3 hours and it’s 2:30 am

he only brushes it off though, asking you to Please actually go to bed

then he. rushes off to the fridge to get some Fluids

as soon as your head hits the pillow you’re out. you might be dead. you can’t tell and you don’t care

and when you wake up, he actually spent all morning getting more studying help for you

websites to help you focus, flashcards for studying (only if they help you!), the whole nine yards

and when he comes back from work, he studies with you and pampers you with your favorite homemade meals and snacks + store-bought gifts

does it help you focus? absolutely not

is it more enjoyable? H e l l    y e s

he’s been through college hell, so he understands completely when you’re struggling

Zen

when he got home, he could see you hyperfocusing on your laptop and scribbling down something

he notices this mostly because you didn’t even flinch when he slammed the door closed after coming in

hm…

he doesn’t want to bother since you’re obviously preoccupied, but he’s extremely worried when he sees you’re pale with malnourishment

i mean… he can’t just. ignore that

he tries to calmly get your attention by walking over to you and calling your name

but you’ve been so focused on this project all you see is a big distraction

before you know it, you’re yelling at him to go away

*windows start up noise*

you both freeze for a good 5 seconds before zen apologizes and starts walking away

Oh Fuck

instantly you feel.. so awful

you start trying to explain whats going on and why you’re so stressed out and high strung

but he cuts you off, saying he knows exactly what it feels like to be overwhelmed and as a result, lash out to those who don’t deserve it

instead of dwelling on it, he instead asks you if there’s anything he can do to make your project easier

he’s. absolutely clueless academically because he basically stopped trying in late middle school but

he can make dinner and get your favorite study snacks

he does Not let you study past 11:00

you have to get your beauty sleep!

in a BED

no budging, no excuses, no exceptions

11:00 is the cutoff

he will carry you to bed if need be

he WILL drag you

he doesn’t care

you need your R E S T ! ! !

Jaehee

you’re both in the cafe when you suddenly remember you have an essay due in 2 days that you’ve barely started

jaehee’s on the other side of the bar, making someone a cappuccino as you try to think with all the chatter going on

FUCK fuck shit fuck shit fuck

maybe you could work on it tonight and take off tomorrow? no, tomorrow’s a busy day and you have errands to run tonight

oooghghgt

it’s not too busy right now

you could go take the rest of the day off and work on it then

“MC? MC?”

OH FUCK

suddenly jaehee’s right in front of you, snapping her fingers to make sure you don’t glide in a complete different universe away from her

aka, worst case scenario

“are you okay?”

you comfort her and tell her you’re fine, but there’s something you need to work on

when she asks what, your face blushes a bit as you explain you forgot the due date of a major project

but uh the real thing you forgot is

this woman? fucking genius

she immediately moves on to what the subject is

when you elaborate, she tells you that she actually studied that a little bit in college as well and she’s somewhat knowledgeable in it

?!?!?!???!!??!?!

woman of your dreams. holy hell

you thank her profusely for her help, but you really gotta g- why are you taking your apron off

she quickly excuses everyone in the cafe, and flips the OPEN sign on the window

when she’s done, she smiles at you and asks you to show her what you have so far

you two both spend the entire evening working on it

she’s constantly researching every single element, trying to make sure that you get a perfect grade

you end up getting a 97%, only getting points off because you disagreed with her on one of the facts

never doubt jaehee kang.

Jumin

as soon as you say goodbye to him as he goes to work, you run over to your laptop and try to make a dent in your homework

ahfhdghdgwffnhtrht htyere’s so much

you don’t understand anything

what the fukc what is happening

you sit there, suffering, typing, researching, for what feels like years before you realize that it’s about the time that your fiancé gets home

fjknarjkdbnjkaf oh fuck

when this dawns on you, you also notice that there is piles and piles of paper and plates around you

Uh Oh

you’re scrambling to clean everything up when you hear the door clicking

UH OHx40

“MC?”

“h-hiiii”

“what are you doing bent over the couch. why is there paper everywhere.”

“i, was,

college”

he takes a long look at your flustered face and asks if you’re struggling with your studies

although you’re a bit ashamed, you look at your feet and realize you have to concur

“i’ll get you a tutor then. wait one moment.”

W

you ask him what he means by that

“was i not clear enough? you’re struggling with school. i will get you the best tutor in the country. that will help, won’t it?”

you immediately disagree, saying you don’t need a tutor and you can just ask for extra help from the professors

he doesn’t understand

you have to talk to him about it for around 5 minutes until he lets up

he’s still confused though

nonetheless, he’s super smart

he’ll usually be able to help you with your work whenever he’s not busy

707

he’s taking a break from work for a while in his room

his hands hurt and he cant stop thinking about you anyways

you’re busy right now though :(

next best thing?

looking for shitty ironic cosplay outfits to wear with you

Hell Yes

he’s browsing amazon.com and

oh fuck yeah

https://www.amazon.com/VSVO-Womens-Cosplay-Halloween-Costume/dp/B013FG5QZE?th=1

hahahahahaha oh my god

IT COMES IN BLACK AND PINK????

he’s being so spoiled right now

he clicks the add to cart button, and right when he’s buying it he hears you grunt in frustration he has good hearing, he kinda needs to for his spy missions

??????? wha

he gets up to go check on you and he sees you typing at like 400 WPM on your laptop

you’re so focused you don’t even see him lurking behind the door

your first mistake is not being extremely attentive when you’re within 20 feet of him

he drops down to his hands and knees and starts crawling over to you, ready to try to scare you with a not threatening what-so-ever “MEEEOOOOOW”

but his hopes and dreams are interrupted when you take one look at him and stiffly ask “what.”

oogh….ow…..

his face almost turns as red as his hair

he shoots up and, not so smoothly, attempts to change the subject from the failed “prank” with “haha you just got punk’d anyways what’re you doing lol”

you smile at his horrible attempt at recovery and tell him that you’re trying to work on a project for one of your college classes and you really need to focus and you love his jokes but now is not the ti-

“okok babe that’s cool and all but like… check this out lmao”

he pulls out his phone and shows you a patrick star (+ other miscellaneous spongebob characters) costume he found earlier

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/93801604718806168

you genuinely can’t help but snicker no matter how angry you are at him rn

and then he starts laughing because you’re laughing

and now you two are both giggly messes

what a bunch of losers

when your laughter dies down, he asks what your project is on

you show him your progress, and right away he’s complimenting you

……..and then he starts correcting you

you’re a bit scared

everything he says makes sense

you feel a little red in the face while realizing that

you forgot the fact that this man is a literal genius

from then on, he constantly asks what you’re working on

and if you show it to him he always, always finds a mistake somewhere

once he actually found nothing wrong with it and you might have cried

though! among all the criticism he’ll never make fun of you outright

maybe a few jokes here and there

“you used the wrong you’re here. did you graduate 3rd grade or did you just skip to 11th” “seven shut up i mean it this time”

[picaresqve]

You mentioned someone named Carver in the first story in your writing tag but haven't mentioned him since. Mind expanding on the character?

“Carver. I talk a lot about bein’ done and puttin’ thingsbehind me. ‘Bout puttin’ down my knife and all that blood. But if I ever seethat man again, I’ll fuckin’ skin ‘em alive for what he did to me and mine,mark my words. Still, if you’re asking me to talk about Carver that means you’reasking for me to talk about a lot of stuff that I don’t wanna. To you oranyone. It’s not easy memories to dredge back up and simmer. Spend most daystryin’ to think it never happened, if I’m being honest. But if you’re realabout wanting to hear, then you’re gonna be buyin’ me a few drinks tonight andyou’re not gonna stop until I tell you to.

“We clear? Good.

“First thing’s you gotta know, I guess, is that we hadhistory. See, I knew him long before I met Hadrian and Bosco. ‘Fore it was allof us, it was just me, Rami, and Carver and we wasn’t what one’d call a ‘family’like often times your canting crews like to call themselves. Thieves, knifemen,amusers, blackguards, they got this idea of family, that you’re all bound insomethin’ thicker than blood. But not us. Not then, at least. I mean, ‘ceptRami and I on account of us actually bein’ family, but we saw no relation withCarver, neither blood nor trade, and he kindly liked it that way, too. Morelike associates or partners that had to be for survival reasons and nothingelse. Carver was uh, what you’d call an interesting fella, had interestingideas about the way things worked. The world, its people, that kind of thing.Big ideas in a small, small man. Not small enough, though. Fearless, too. He’dbeen to jail a couple times from what I understood. When he was younger. Thatwas ‘fore he got principled. Before he got them ideas. Now? He’d diebefore he’d let anyone put him in a cell. Take every poor, stupid soul with himwho had a mind to, too.

“See, that’s something you need to understand about Carver: Carverwas mean. Not like a neighbourhood bully or even a debtor, may the divines tearthem apart. No, Carver was meaner than most men I met in the trade, save one,and I won’t talk about that one. I won’t do it. But Carver was the kind of folkwho got some pleasure out of breakin’ other folks. Makin’ ‘em look small. Smallas he felt. Now, he didn’t talk about family much, save his daddy, but I got amind to think his daddy’s where he got all that meanness from. Talked about thesonova bitch like he was the devil himself. Would always say: ‘I ain’t afraidof the devil, I seen that fucker die.’ Way Carver told it that old man of hiswould start to drinkin’ most every night just as he left the tannery and wouldn’tstop until he passed out. Most of them nights he’d beat Carver’s mom pretty bad,too, almost to death. First couple times he got it in his head to try and stophis dad? Well, he didn’t do that no more. Once he was a bit too rough and endedup killing the mom, the bastard. I’d do a lot to have my hands around his father’sneck if the gods were so kind, but I guess they ain’t too kind. It’s a shame ifyou ask me. I’m not makin’ no excuses for that bastard, nor will I if I evercatch him, but you gotta wonder what Carver’d’ve been like if his circumstanceshad been different. I think that about a lot of folks in the trade.

“But so anyways, then Bosco and Hadrian come along, or wecome along to them, depending on how you tell it, and the whole dynamic shifts.We four were thick as they come. True rogues, sentimental folks’d say. Whichdidn’t bother Carver none, of course, he didn’t care if we was suckin’ eachother’s peckers, so long as he didn’t get factored into it, and that worked forall of us just fine too. Another drink. But that also meant that hewas the weak link, and the quickest to break in the trust-department. We had afew, good years all together before that happened, though, and I guess I’mkindly grateful for that. Still reckon they was some of the best years of mylife. I mean, we were still robbing and conning and drugging ourselves black,but it’s a marked improvement when you got folks you actually like doin’ itwith.

“But then, a few years back, it walked into my grave, littlehead to do somethin’ different. We got approached eventually by this company ofstarry-eyed, like, rebels? Yeah, in Ul’dah. Rebels, what a joke. Don’t know anyprofession in the whole damned desert more deadly than bein’ a dreamer. And theseguys had their heads all up in the clouds. Talking about stopping the Ul’dahnwheel and breaking the lords and the ladies. Casting off the yoke. Giving backto the people. You know, that kind of rhetoric you get with people who aretired, but not damned tired enough for their own good. I don’t right know whatI was thinking, honestly, when I said yes. I think I just wanted to dosomething that mattered. To feel like somethin’ had meanin’. Might’ve beendrunk, I don’t know, I wish I could tell you. Might set my mind at ease. There we were, though, just a band of poor fools who knew not what they weredoing and had had a pretty good run thus far and thought: well, if our luck’sthis way, why not? We got cocky. Or I got cocky, and the rest just followed.

“Except Carver. Carver told us straight from the get-go thathe didn’t like that. Oh no, he didn’t like that at all, but you know what hedid like? An opportunity. Tellin’ him was the worst mistake I made in my life.Wish I had just went my separate ways without so much as a ‘good-bye and seeyou later and hope it don’t hit you on the way’ kind of thing, because it’s notlike he was family, but I guess I wasn’t thinkin’ straight. So I tell’s him andhe tells all of us where we can go and he laughs and just leaves. Shot ofwhiskey.

“…”

“Anyways, where was I? Rebels. Opportunity, uh. Oh. Solike, he laughs and walks out and we’re kindly relieved pretty much just asthe door shuts like this whole weight disappears. It felt good. Course, we didn’tknow it then, but that’s when everything started to go bad. The higher you get,the further you fall. Gods, things I would have done differently if I knew thenwhat I know now, but life’s always had this way of sneaking those kinds ofthings up on you. Don’t seem right. Don’t seem fair. I’ll kill Carver, though,mark my words. If that stain yet draws breath. I’ll do it.

“…”

“…”

“Sorry, I was just, you know, thinking about stuff. Yeah,yeah I’m alright. Things get fuzzy at this point. We go out the next day,business as usual, haven’t had them rebels contact us yet, said it would be afew days, a think. Maybe a week. Course, we never got back to the house onaccount of some fella who owed me something waylaid us in the street,urgent-like. Said we couldn’t go back to our hole. Said Brass Blades had beenall over it, tearing it apart serious-like. Crawling through the whole lane,knocking on folks’ doors, asking about us. That kind of thing. Brass Bladesdon’t kick up such a fuss over a few sneakthieves so’s it became readily clearto all of us that we’d been fingered out. We knew we had to get out, but Boscowasn’t with us. Fella said they already got him when they busted down the door.Said they had him in iron already and down in the dungeons. It’d been a longtime since I’d felt so powerless. The facts were as they were, though: theUl’dahn dungeon wasn’t some horse-shit jailhouse on the frontier. They had himfor good. Would come out after everything blew over that they’d tortured Boscoand left him to bake in the sun on a rack a few days later. Screaming all day,I’d been told, until his heart finally gave. No one’s got business going thatway. There’s crimes against your fellow man, but then there’s crimes againstyour own soul. Breaks you as much as them. May the gods tear them apart. Send adevil on their children.

“I’m getting off track. Point being, I guess, is that weleft that day, within the hour, with heavy and broken hearts. Had a safe housein a little town on the borderlands. Stole a couple birds and ran for thehorizon, but the horizon never came. The Blades’d been waiting for us to split.We grabbed the birds all right and started ploughing down the desert, but…didn’t help much. We rode hard but they rode harder. Hadrian fell before theday was up, which I guess kindly slowed the fellas down, on account of they hadto figure out what to do with him. I guess they decided the only rational thingto do was to… to mutilate him. Like for fuck sake, how folks get so wrong? Idon’t understand it. He didn’t deserve it. This is a bloody, gods-damnedcountry. Bloods all it knows and it’s all it’ll have. It’s all it deserves andI reckon the only thing to do for it is to just drown the whole thing in all ofit and when it heaves over their heads and washes away, just start over fromscratch. There ain’t no fixin’ this country. I’ll start thanking the twelve andwhatever else there is out there that dictates things when that happens.

“…”

Rain fire on the whole goddamn city. Drag ‘em. Drag ‘em fromtheir homes, scalp them living or dead. Carve out their eyes, just likeHadrian’s. Their tongues. Let them roast in the sun like Bosco. Flay ‘em,s—what? Am I alright? No. No, I ain’t, but you keep the whiskey coming and I’llstay manageable. No, my friend, you don’t get to back out now. Another shot.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“There we go. Yeah, I’m going to finish it and you won’tlike this next part or me by the end of it but you’ve opened a door. Let mefinish.

“Anyways, they sent a couple others on ahead to catch uswhile they were doin’ their, you know, their thing with my friend. They got separated along the way and Rami and I caught the first by surprisethe next day when he come around a bend. Made quick work of him, but not beforehe told us what they’d been doing with Hadrian back there. Course, all thatmeant was I had different ideas for the second one. She’d just come around thesame bend when her chocobo crashed over a rope line we’d set up and sent herflying from her saddle. The bird ended up all mangled. Broken legs and acracked skull. She landed fine enough, but the way she was breathing youcould tell her ribs were busted up pretty bad. When I came at her she wasmostly limp, started asking me real desperate-like to let her go home, that shehad a husband and a couple little ones, so I busted out her teeth. Not in onepunch. I don’t know how many times I hit her, kind of lost track of myselfthere for a second, but by the end of it she was just sort of gasping andgurgling on and spitting up blood. Held her up so she wouldn’t choke on it.There was a lot of yowlin’ and sobbin’. Most nights I see that face in mydreams. I’ll never atone, nor do I think I deserve it. Yeah. Yeah.’ But so, Ididn’t have to do much else after that because she knew I meant business. Toldme exactly what I needed to know. Told me what I had already figured by thatpoint: Carver had sold us out.

“She never returned home to her family, though. I emptiedher guts out. When I hold a knife I can still feel the shockwaves in my hand. Badstuff, that, but by the time I was done, her gut wasn’t even much of a gut,more like mush. And, of course, Rami had seen the whole thing. She might’ve screamedfor me to stop during the teeth bit or during the stabbing, but I can’tremember, but when I saw her she looked… empty. Like she was seeing through me.Seeing the other person that I had been before this whole thing happened.

“Rest of the ride to the safehouse’d been a quiet one. Oncewe got there we rested up for a day, and while she was sleeping, I left mygoodbye there in a letter and that was that. Stepped out of the house andhaven’t seen her since. Didn’t want her to get any more involved in all thisthan she already was. Plus, figured we’d have better chances if we weren’ttogether.

“This is where the bit about Carver and I havin’ historycomes in. I knew all his little dives and hidey-holes. At the time, I could followthat man for a thousand years and never lose his scent, and I didn’t. Trackedhim to this small town out in the absolute black. Called Castor’s Promise, bythe look of what was left of the sign. Reminded me of those towns you come bynow and again that seem to spring up out of nowhere around a church, thoughthis one didn’t do no springing. There was just the church and, oh, maybe threeor four houses. Think it was four. Maybe three and a store. Store-hopeful.Anyways, it’d been deserted probably for years by then and the buildings wereall falling to pieces, even most of the church. Maybe a prophet had led ‘em outto this place to see the face of God and maybe they did. See the face of God,that is, because they’d all seemed to die quiet, like in some communalfever-dream that took the whole town. Most of them in their beds or chairs.Probably starved.

“Right, so that’s where it went down, though. He shot me, Istabbed him. Stabbed him twice. In the church. We just kind of stumbled aroundafter that, sat in the pews and just kind of stared into the nothingness for awhile. We knew this was it, I think. This was what we had earned: each other. Ithink we both figured we deserved one another and to die next to one another. Poetic,I might have said. Some days I feel a lot like Carver. Like maybe that’s why Ihated him so much, even before he’d went and done what he did. Maybe I saw someugly parts of me in him that I couldn’t be shed of, however hard I tried.Wonder sometimes what Carver’d’ve thought about that. Hm.

“I guess at some point, when I wascoming in and out of darkness, I think, I mean I reckon, I heard him leave. Wetsounds like blood. Still not sure if he yet lives, but I haven’t seen himsince. I closed my eyes that day and expected that it was the last and whendarkness took me, I was ready.

“But then I woke up.

“Where? Oh. Well, that’s a story for another time.”