#this definitely happened with stepdad regulus

[murderoushagthesequel]

a typical day in the new potter home

baby harry: stay away from my daddy, he's mine!

regulus: we can share him, yeah? we're all mature grown ups.

baby harry: no, i'm the only mature grown up here.

regulus: oh, is that so?

baby harry: yeah, and you're being a little baby and stealing my daddy.

regulus: i'm not trying to, i promise, we can be a family!

baby harry: ...

regulus: would you feel better if we play murder?

baby harry: yeah!

*james walks in and harry just has his hands on regulus' throat trying to choke him and regulus is like hissing and baring his teeth like a vampire and james is just like ...genuinely what the fuck*

baby harry: daddy we’re playing murder! regulus is the one being killed.

james: yeah… i see that bud.

*james sighs and turns around and lets them get back to it*

james, on the phone: sirius, your brother and your godson are trying to kill each other again

sirius: WHAT DO YOU MEAN AGAIN??????

james: they usually think i don't notice

sirius: AGAIN, JAMES? AGAIN?

shared effort with @canyouhearmyfear