#this demanded my attention at 10pm last night and was done in like an hour i was just tired

[frostysfrenzy]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stargate Universe Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tamara "TJ" Johansen/Everett Young Characters: Tamara "TJ" Johansen, Everett Young Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Miscarriage, Feelings Summary: struggling with the aftermath of losing their baby, TJ has never felt so far from home. It isn't until she truly faces Young that they're both able to find some comfort.

[dameronology]

tea & whiskey {jack daniels x reader} - 3

3 - an examination of agent tequila and why he takes rejection so damn hard

summary: after tequila is on the receiving end of your stress, jack decides to help you de-stress in the only way he knows how: alcohol. what could go wrong? (series masterlist) 

warnings: language 

honestly this might be my fave chapter yet 

- jazz

song for this chapter: oil on water by bastille 

Within a few weeks of being in New York City, you’d fallen into a routine. 

You missed London, truly and deeply, but it was almost as if you didn’t have time to think about it. Between being dragged into more undercover missions with Whiskey, keeping up with Merlin’s demanding schedule and trying to tail Calahan and his contacts, you were lucky if you had time to sit down and have a cup of coffee. Being a Statesman was much more fast-paced than working at Kingsman; you didn’t dislike it by any means, but you had a pool-sized bathtub waiting in your shiny, new apartment that you never got to use. You were pulling five or six late nights a week, usually not leaving the office till 10PM. 

Working with Jack Daniels was...an experience. He was nice, in some ways -- he always brought you coffee when he went to get some for himself, and he drove you home on those late nights so that you didn’t have to take the subways. He had a few annoying habits - namely the fact he never seemed to shut up or ever use your real name, instead opting for a thousand different nicknames - but he was more than tolerable. He worked hard and played hard, and you respected that. He helped you stay hot on Calahan’s tail and that was the most important thing. 

On your third week in New York, Merlin flew out to see you. You’d been keeping him up to date with weekly briefings, but he’d wanted to come out and have a proper look at the actual work you and Jack had been doing. The evening before he arrived, you’d pulled an all-nighter to try and organise the files. Whiskey seemingly had no organisational skills, instead opting for a stack of folders that had no meaningful order. The paperwork was endless, not unlike Jack’s energy the following morning. 

‘Anyways, so I tell the guy to go fuck his moth-’

‘- Jack.’ You held your hand out to him, motioning him to shut the hell up as you rubbed your temples. ‘I appreciate all your funny stories of when you were a fratboy in Yeehaw Land but I have to get this done.’

‘What’s with you this morning, tea?’ Jack looked up from his laptop, brow furrowing. ‘You haven’t insulted me once since you walked through that damn door two hours ago and I’m starting to become concerned.’

‘I just have a lot of work to do.’ You replied. ‘Merlin is landing any minute now and I...how did you put it last week? I’m as busy as a cat covering crap on a marble floor.’

‘Southern sayings don’t quite right with your accent.’ He offered you a smile. ‘So what if Baldilocks is on his way? You’ve been doing your job real good these last few weeks.’

‘Merlin is...particular.’ You let your eyes trail away from your screen and out towards the view of the city beside your desk. ‘Everything has to be perfect or I might as well have spent the last three weeks shitting in my hands and clapping.’ 

‘They didn’t praise you much at Kingsman, huh?’ Jack quirked an eyebrow.

‘I never gave it much thought but I guess you’re right.’ You shrugged. ‘Why would they praise us for meeting expectations? A slap on the back for doing the bare minimum is pointless.’

It was true: praise at Kingsman was far and few - and you only got for achieving superhuman standards. If you were bad at your job, they would fire you. If they were good, they kept you. That’s how it worked. That’s how it had always worked. You’d never had so much as a well done! or a you’re doing great! from Merlin, nor Harry or Arthur. It had been odd at first but you’d become used to it.

‘What you do is not the bare minimum.’ Whiskey shook his head. ‘You do you know you’re a good agent, right?’

Jack had been impressed with you over the last few weeks. You seemed to embody the very energy of getting shit done. You worked through your lunch breaks and arrived to the office earlier than everyone -- and then you left later than everyone. He was surprised you didn’t hold a more senior position, if anything.

‘I mean, I guess?’ You averted your glance back towards him. ‘I work hard. I’m just hoping it pays off some day.’

‘Just-’ Jack sighed, pausing for a moment. ‘Don’t worry about the paperwork, okay? I can vouch for the fact you’ve worked your pretty little-

‘- watch it, Jack-’

‘- that you’ve worked hard.’ He quickly back tracked on his words. 

‘That’s a dollar in the arse comment jar.’

‘I didn’t even get to finish it though!’ He held his hands up in surrender. ‘And it’s not even worth taking those dollars home with you, not with this exchange rate.’

Before the conversation could go any further, Tequila stuck his head around your office door. He’d been out in the field for the last week so you hadn’t seem him that much. Having been in South America, he’d caught a slight tan. That lead your mind back to your previous missions with him -- he’d had terrible Spanish. Truly awful.

‘Merlin is here, Percy.’ He announced. ‘He’s in with Champ now. Come whenever. You too, Whiskey.’

‘Have you ever heard of knocking?’ Jack raised his eyebrows at him. 

‘The door was open.’

‘Still, it’s etiquette-’

‘- hey, Patrick! Spongebob!’ You slammed your fist on the table. ‘There’s more important things to worry about.’

--

Half an hour later, you were waiting outside of a meeting room on the top floor of the Statesman building. Jack, Merlin and Champ were all on the other side of the door, checking over your work. You had no reason to be nervous -- you’d done your job and you’d done it well. Besides, you knew that Whiskey would fight your corner if Merlin became finnicky. He’d said it himself earlier. You appreciated that. 

‘I’ve been in Chile the last few weeks.’ Tequila leant against the wall beside you, adjusting his hat as he peered down at you.

‘I know. Your new hat is a Chilean brand and you have a tan.’ You replied, attention still clearly on the door in front of you. 

‘Damn. I never pegged you to be so observant.’

‘I’m literally a secret agent.’ You shot back. ‘It’s kind of an entry requirement.’

‘Or maybe...’ He adjusted his stance. ‘It’s because you fancy me.’

‘Fancy you?!’ You turned your head to look at him in disbelief. ‘How old are you? Twelve?’

‘I just mean that you’re single and hot. I’m single and hot.’ He continued, barely faltering. ‘You’ve been working your ass off these last few weeks. If you need help relaxing, you know where-’

Tequila barely had a chance to blink before you’d moved from beside him, pinning him to the wall with an elbow over his throat. He blinked in surprise; both at your speed and strength, especially considering that he was much beefier than you. It wasn’t exactly hard. You’d taken on men twice his size and strength. 

‘Try and come onto me again and I will make you eat your hat.’ You threatened. 

‘It was just a suggestion-’

‘- did I stutter?’

‘No, ma’am.’ Tequila muttered. ‘Sorry, ma’am.’

‘What in the holy hell is going on here?!’ 

You hadn’t heard Champ leave the meeting room - or Jack and Merlin for that matter. The three were stood with wide eyes and gaped mouths at the sight of you holding one of their best agents to the wall. You quickly took a step back, letting Tequila fall onto his ass with a sweet thump. 

You dusted yourself off. ‘I was simply teaching Agent Tequila the value of workplace boundaries.’

Turning away, you strode off and down the corridor, the sound of your heels clicking against the ground ringing behind you. Tequila might have just been trying to shoot his shot but damn, you were sick of it happening. You’d had it during your training, from some of the guys at Kingsman and especially on missions. The amount of men that assumed you needed a ring on your finger or a proposition from them to have a good time was beyond you. Could you not just do your job? It was one thing to have a flurry of nicknames but you drew the line at being constantly hit on and asked out. 

Stalking to your office, you slammed the door behind you and took a seat at your desk. An oh for fuck’s sake! escaped your mouth upon realising that you’d left all of your files with Merlin. That meant no work to do - which meant that the tiredness and consequences of your late night were about to hit you like a ton of bricks.

You made your way over to Jack’s desk, taking a glass and decanting some of the whiskey that was inside it. Drinking on the job wasn’t usually your style, but you were stressed. Calahan was still on the loose. Both of your bosses had just seen you drop kick another agent. It felt like you had been in the States for nearly a month and had no work to show for it. 

‘Is it okay if I come in?’

‘It’s your office, Whiskey.’ You didn’t bother turning to face him. 

‘Well, that can’t be good - you only ever call me Whiskey when you’re mad.’ 

Jack was right -- and it was something he’d noticed not long after you’d met. You’d started calling him by his first name not long after you’d pulled your first all-nighter together. He’d given you a ride home and it had started with a thanks, Jack. He’d come to discover that he liked how it sounded when you said it. It was so rare that anyone called him that, that it almost felt like it meant something. 

‘Sorry.’ You took the glass, returning to your desk.’ You said. ‘I’m stressed and Tequila didn’t help. There’s paperwork and deadlines and I have done nothing worthwhile since I landed nearly four weeks ago.’

‘That’s not entirely true.’ He replied. ‘You’ve arrested six of Calahan’s spies, found information that lead to a raid on one of his bases and you just hit Tequila harder than a semi to a fox on the highway.’

‘I should probably apologise to him.’ You groaned. 

‘I wouldn’t bother, sugar’ Jack shook his head. ‘You’re being too hard on yourself.’

‘Yeah.’ You stared off into the distance, sipping some of your drink. ‘Maybe.’

‘What are you doing tonight?’

You faltered, turning to look at the cowboy in disbelief. ‘Are you serious, Jack?! You just saw me deck Tequila for trying to make a move. You think I won’t slap that moustache right off of your-’

‘- hold your fucking horses!’ He cut you off. ‘If you’d let me finish my goddamn sentence! I was going to offer to show you a bar that I go to when I’m stressed. The alcohol is cheap and the music is good.’

‘You mean as....colleagues?’

‘I was going to say friends.’ 

---

It was beyond you how Jack had convinced you to come to a cowboy bar in the middle of Manhattan on a Tuesday night. He’d made a few comments about having a stick up your ass, then with a promise to reschedule your meeting the following morning and pay for your drinks, you’d finally said yes. It can’t have hurt to take a night off - in fact, you’d barely had one since you’d got to the city. A few drinks and the company of the most tolerable man at Statesman could do good for you, you figured. 

Having changed your heels and dress out for boots, jeans and a leather jacket, you already felt a little more relaxed. The Statesman weren’t even as strict as the Kingsman about what their agents wore, but you had the latter’s emphasis on looking formal so ingrained into your brain that it was practically second nature. The pain of wearing high heels every day was long gone. 

The bar itself was as you’d expected. Dimly lit, and filled with people in cowboy hats and boots. There was a country song playing from a jukebox in the corner and the air was stuffy; a mix of tobacco, stale beer and crisps chips.It wasn’t that different from the dodgy pubs you and Eggsy had frequented in your late teens. 

Jack was dressed a little more casual too, wearing a button down and leather jacket instead of his usual blazer and tie. What were you here as again...friends or colleagues? Actually, it had been a compromise. Friendly colleagues. 

‘Alright, sweetheart, we’ll go here.’ He pulled you over to two empty stalls at the bar. ‘What’s your poison?’

‘Rum.’ You replied. 

Jack’s nicknames didn’t bother you anymore. You’d come to accept the fact that they were simply part of his dialect rather than a place of affection. It was the same with Champ, and even Ginger. It was no different to you calling your own colleagues mate or pal. 

‘Damn.’ Jack murmured. ‘Off to a strong start.’

You took the glass from his hand, clinking it against his. Naturally, he’d gotten Jack Daniels whiskey. Then again, if you were named after an alcohol, you probably would have drunk it constantly too. But then again again, you drank it constantly anyways. 

The evening was a little awkward at first -- what were you supposed to talk about aside from work? That’s what all your previous conversations had been about, even during all your late nights. They usually consisted of Jack reciting stories of wild missions during his younger days as an agent. You had a few crazy ones, but they seemed to pale in comparison. There wasn’t as much crazy shit in Britain. 

You didn’t know whether you should have been asking him questions about his personal life. Wasn’t he your boss, formally speaking? Jack was a higher rank than you. He ran the whole damn Manhattan office when Champ was out. That thought was what lead you to realise that you’d hardly given his life outside of the agency much pondering. You knew he didn’t exist solely to be an agent, but he spent as much time working as you did and you existed solely to be an agent. 

Did he have a wife? Kids? Based on how long he spent working, you figured it was unlikely. Being an agent didn’t really offer a healthy work-life balance. You knew that he lived in an apartment near Hudson Yards, so that meant he was probably rich too. He did have shares in the company that fronted Statesman, and it was one of the best selling bourbons on the market. 

You spent the better part of two hours trying to deduce him through conversation before you realised that you could have just asked. Jack had called you his friend. That counted for something. Plus, you had two hours worth of alcohol and a fair few shots of rum floating around your system. It was liquid courage, after all. 

‘So what’s your deal?’ You slapped your fist on the bar. 

‘My deal?’ Jack raised an eyebrow at you. ‘The hell d’you mean, sugar?’

‘Like...what’s your life outside of Statesman?’

‘Statesman is my life.’ He quipped. ‘In the same way Kingsman is yours.

‘Damn.’ You murmured. ‘But Kingsman isn’t my whole life.’

‘Oh yeah?’ He smiled at you. ‘What else do you do then?’

‘I have an orchid at home!’ You exclaimed. ‘Although I did ask Eggsy to look after while I’m here so it’s probably dead.’

‘You miss him, don’t you?’

‘The orchid?’

‘No. Eggsy.’

‘Oh, right!’ You let out a tipsy giggle. ‘I mean...yeah. He’s my best mate. This is the longest I’ve gone without seeing him ever. I FaceTimed him the other night but he’s with Tilde.’

‘Girlfriend?’

‘Yeah.’ You solemnly nodded. ‘And do not mistake my sad face for jealousy! I love Tilde. And I love Eggsy. It’s just hard not seeing him, or having someone to bully everyday.’

‘Hey, I’m right here if you need someone!’ Jack nudged you with his elbow. ‘Just...no comments on my accent. Or my hat. Or my moustache.’

‘Okay, I’ll just rip into your personality then, shall I?’

‘Please. As if you could find anything bad about my personality. I’m fan-fucking-tastic.’

--

The rest of the night went quickly. 

Once you and Jack had veered away from talking about work, the conversation felt natural. He was easy to banter with and it made talking to him easy. The fact he was paying for drinks too was proving to be a slippery slope - for him and for you. The more you ordered, the more he tried to outdrink you. That was when the evening had taken a bit of a turn. 

You hadn’t mean for it to happen, but your temper tended to slip up when you were drunk. It was easy to describe you as trigger happy at the best of times, let alone when you had a few shots in your system. And, you were by no means wankered beyond repair, or so drunk that you couldn’t walk, but you had proven yourself to be drunk beyond normal rationale. 

It was all a blur, really.

You’d seen a man try to follow a girl into the toilets and in true sisterhood style, you’d flown after him in an attempt to save her. There had been punches thrown - in both your direction and his - and it had resulted in the two of you both being kicked out. Jack had followed suit, rushing out after you with your jacket and bag. A true Southern gentleman indeed. 

‘It was his wife.’ Jack had been muttering the same words over and over. He was knelt in front of you, dabbing at your bloody nose with some cotton balls. ‘He was following her into the toilet because they were married-’

‘- how the hell was I supposed to know that?!’ You snapped, wincing in pain. You made a mental note not to raise your voice too much. ‘I’ve had things like that happen to me before. I just wanted to make sure she was safe.

‘You could have gotten me to check it out.’ He reasoned. ‘I might have had to have gone into the ladies’ toilets but you can be damn sure I wouldn’t have punched the guy.’

Jack’s hands were steady as he worked to clean up your nose. Somehow, you’d ended up in his living room -- he’d refused to let you go back to your own apartment in a bloody state. On the bright side, his place was a thousand times nicer than yours. And, given your jacuzzi bath tub and flat screen TV, that was truly saying something. His felt a little more homely, and a little more lived in. He had random knick-knacks lying around; there was magazines on the table and piles of shoes by the doors. You, meanwhile, had been living out of a suitcase. 

Once he was done, Jack stood up and dropped onto the couch next to you. He stared at you for a moment, pondering what to say. You didn’t look too tired; your eyes were slightly hooded and hazy from the drinks, but the sock to your face had sobered you both up to the point where you might as well have only had one or two shots. 

‘God, what must you think of me?’ You finally spoke, flopping back against the cushion behind you.

Jack frowned. ‘What on Earth do you mean?’

‘You saw me deck Tequila this morning and then attack a guy in the bar.’ You snorted. ‘I’m not a violent person. I promise.’

‘I don’t think you are.’ He replied. ‘I definitely think you could knock a man into the middle of next week looking both ways for Sunday but I think it’s admirable.’

You couldn’t help but cackle. ‘Admirable?!’

‘A lot of people run their mouths but very few would actually square up when things came down to it.’ Jack shrugged. ‘I know y’all believe in manners maketh man but I think fury maketh woman.’ 

‘Fury maketh woman.’ You repeated the words back to him, turning your head to face him. 

A moment of silence fell over you after that. Not an awkward one, but rather a comfortable one. Things weren’t so hazy anymore - if anything, that guy punching you had been rather sobering. Meanwhile, Jack definitely looked like he’d been around the block a little bit; he’d long ditched the hat, leaving his dark hair in a ruffled mess. You were holding his gaze, looking intently at his eyes. 

They were brown - but no shit, Sherlock. You knew that. What you hadn’t noticed was the way they creased when he laughed, or the fact they had little gold flecks in them. And they looked a little more caramel under the bright white lights of his living room. The man had a chandelier. An actual fucking chandelier. In 2020. 

If you could just lean a little closer to get a better look. 

Just a tiny bit. 

Just edge a little bit closer, not too much and -

- Shit. 

His lips caught yours halfway, and you suddenly realised that you hadn’t been trying to look at his eyes at all. No, absolutely not. Had you wanted to kiss him this whole time? Or had the urge just suddenly over come you this split second? 

Either way, it didn’t matter because Jack Daniels was a fucking good kisser. He was giving and soft, but there was a hint of something deeper too. Desire? Lust? You didn’t really possess the brain capacity to figure it out, not when he was biting at your bottom lip and gently holding one hand against the back of your head. His large, calloused hands were clutching loosely at your, pulling you into him It was so good that you let out a moan in your head. 

Except, it wasn’t in your head. It was very much out loud, and right into his mouth. Your immediate reaction was to consider pulling back, to apologise straight away and swear never to talk about it - but he liked it. You felt Jack smile against you. He placed his hands on your hips and gently manoeuvred you into his lap, being careful to avoid putting too much pressure on your sore nose.

It didn’t take an idiot to work out where this was going, and you were both pretty smart people. Smart enough to know that it was going to make things awkward in the morning, and then everyday after that. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the fact that his kisses were more intoxicating than any spirit you could possibly have consumed. You didn’t know.

And frankly, you didn’t care. 

[plutodexay]

For the first time in years (6)

Chapter 6, (What next) Ao3 (1796 words) 

It took him over a week to owl me. With anybody else this wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but this is Draco Malfoy. The guy who would throw out his robes if so much as one stitch came loose. Last time he owled me it took 8 hours, maybe even shorter because I woke up with his owl already waiting for me. 

I was terrified that he wasn’t going to owl me. We didn’t exactly leave off on the best note. So maybe he was embarrassed he cried in front of me? Or that he opened up to me? Relatively there could've been hundreds of reasons as to why it took him so long. Hell, maybe he just wanted to keep me on edge, another one of his tricks. I can’t imagine he’d let those go as easily, it was almost like the twins giving up pranking. 

…

The owl came at 10pm, on a friday night, while I was entertaining friends. About anyone you’d expect was there. The twins had brought a whole trunk full of prototypes to hopefully only show people and not actively use in my house. Now that I think about it, I think they closed the trunk a lot easier at the end of the night then earlier in the evening. 

Ron had showed up early, bringing twenty times more candy than I needed him to. I don’t really know why, but he was convinced that everyone that would be attending would need two bowls of candy to themselves. Which goes to show why I’m the one always hosting the get togethers. My poor coffee table had at least ten bowls on it alone, that left hardly any room for people to actually put their drinks on the damn thing. 

Neville came in shortly after, who surprisingly was only fifteen minutes early as opposed to his usual thirty. He’d walked in apologizing for being late, of course it was only late on his terms.  Ron acted surprised and accused him of forgetting about us, he even did this whole monologue about lost friendship as he was putting his candy into all my clean bowls. He told us matter of factly he’d been late because he’d been on a walk with the Ravenclaw he’d been talking too and he’d simply lost track of time. Next thing I know there's candy on my floor and Ron is standing right infront of him trying to pry the details out of him. 

Seamus and Dean showed up about ten minutes later, Ron making me go answer the door while I was still cleaning up his candy on my own floor. They very quickly went straight to the muggle recliner beside my couch, not even a minute into being here and they’d managed to find one chair to “share”. They always do, sit in the same chair that is. They’ve done it ever since school, even when there was more space they were always practically on top of one another. Most of their night was spent laughing at me and whispering to each other, so really it was just like any other night. 

Hermione was right behind them, seemingly on an important phone call with someone in the ministry. I’ll always be grateful she convinced Kingsley to allow muggle technology into the ministry. Ya know? Cause what else would allow my friend to work 24/7 and ignore me for an hour at my own event? Definitely one of her better achievements.

Luna had shown up late, mumbling something about her earrings not wanting to work, still haven’t got the slightest clue what she meant by that seeing as she was wearing earrings. She’d brought Ginny with her, who was also mumbling about quidditch. The both of them and their constant mumbling, if you;d ask them to elaborate they’d act as if they didn’t say anything. They had taken up comfort on the stairs, then the floor, then the guest room, and quite honestly the farthest they could get from the twins that my house would allow. Over the years Ginny slowly started getting annoyed by their pranks, preferring to be able to ride her broom during practice than have it explode ink into her face the moment she got off the ground. I believe she regrets telling them that she’d test some of their products, none of them specified when and where. Half way through the night Luna had fallen asleep on Ginny so Hermione had to help keep the twins away, one of the few things she can’t really do.

…

Time had seemingly stopped when that owl came. It was like everyone had noticed the random owl at my window, at the exact same time. The owl was almost as composed as Draco, it just waited there, as if it had all the time in the world. 

The room had gone quiet, nobody really knowing who’s owl it was, or why I was getting an owl this late in the evening. It felt like hours before I slowly walked over to the window. The owl was simply waiting for me to grab the letter. Moments after doing so it found its way to Hedwig's treats. 

I unraveled the parchment slower than I walked over here. 

Dear Harry,

I’m sorry this letter was later than the last, I’m afraid I was called away on business shortly after our walk. You’d be shocked how quickly you must move in the potions business. I do hope this finds you at a somewhat reasonable hour, but knowing my owl I will be sorely mistaken. Acts like a child really, does what he wants when he wants without my supervision. 

Sadly it will be a few more days before I can return to London. This business truly takes a lot of attention, as annoying as it is. 

If it is all the same to you, I would truly enjoy ‘hanging out’ once again. This time rather, how about you pick the time and place? Maybe then you wouldn’t fumble your words as much. 

I’ll be awaiting a letter back, but please let my owl rest for a bit before doing so. If not he’ll tear up the parchment the moment you give it to him. 

Best regards,

Draco Malfoy.

“Well who’s it from?” Shouted Ron from his seat on the floor. Everyone humming in agreement. 

“Draco Malfoy.” Gasps came from all around the room. Murmurs from Ginny barely resonated in my head. The sheer fact that he actually wrote me all I could think of. His reasoning makes much more sense than ignoring me. He’s the one who started all of this, he’s the one who wanted this, right?

“What in the hell is Draco Malfoy owling you for?” Seamus asked, way too loudly. I could feel everyone staring at me. There eyes not moving as I slowly turn around, ready to face the wrath of the age old Gryfindor vs Slytherin rivalry. Just because he helped us doesn’t mean everyone forgave him. 

Just as I go to speak, Neville does it for me. 

“They’ve been talking recently.”He paused, smiling at me before he continued. “Draco came to him and asked for a second chance, and unlike most of us in the room, Harry is giving him that opportunity.”

“But why?” Dean asked, almost sounding annoyed. 

“Why not?” Ginny cut him off. 

Nobody said anything. Everyone was conflicted. Some of us managed to forgive people quicker than others. Death eaters and the War were never really brought up anymore, so I can imagine some people weren’t particularly happy with tonight's events. 

“I think it's quite mature of Harry, I always thought they’d have been a very good pair.” Luna said out of the blue. Her words seemingly shut everyone up. Mere seconds later everyone had gone back to what they were doing beforehand. 

Walking back into my kitchen, Ron and Neville followed. 

“So?” Ron said, sitting in the chair I was going to sit, grabbing a drink off the counter and taking a sip.

“So what?”

“What did he say?” Neville asked, leaning against the wall. 

“Does it really matter?”

“Does it really matter?” Ron said, obviously mocking me. He jumps out of his seat to stand right in front of me, his drink disregarded. “Of course it matters!” 

“We’ve been waiting just as long as you, we want to know what he has to say for himself.” Neville was now in the seat Ron was. Looking between Ron and I before Ron seemingly continued his thought. 

“We need to know his excuse for leaving us on edge!” He said exasperated, acting as if he might faint. “How dare he leave us waiting this long for a letter!” Nevilles laughter could be heard all throughout the kitchen. Ron slowly joined him. Shortly all of us were laughing at ourselves, the whole situation seeming ridiculous. 

Managing to catch my breath, I answer.

“He got called away for work, apparently the potions business is very demanding.” Both of them looked at me, Neville still catching his breath before grabbing a drink. Ron nodded, before speaking up.

“Mione told me there was a huge potions raid a few nights ago in France, both their and our ministries are freaking out. If anything that’s probably why he got called away.”  It’d make sense, some potion ingredients are so rare that the ministry will launch undercover missions to find them if they so much get out of place. 

“Did she tell you what was stolen?” Neville asked.

“No, you know how she is with that stuff.”

“Well I guess you can ask Draco next time then?” They were both looking at me.

“I guess, I don’t know if he’ll tell me.”

“Worth a shot” Ron laughed, patting my back before walking back into the main area. Neville getting up too.

“I hate to leave, but I’ve got to go. She invited me to a muggle movie and I don’t want to be late.” So the movie probably started in three hours then. 

“It’s alright.” I tell him, patting his shoulder before walking him to the door. “I’m glad you guys are getting along, you seem to really like her.”

“Yeah it’s going great.” We're standing in front of the door now, I open it for him and he walks out half way before turning around. “Make sure you write him back before you sleep, otherwise you’ll forget.” He says before walking down the street. 

Shit. Now, how does one respond to Draco Malfoy.

[vore-scientist]

Not So Bad

(Safe/soft semi-willing GT vore with M/multiple prey of multiple genders, kinda stuffing)

Very silly vore story with lots of silly wizards. 

A Mystic Woods Unlimited Story: MWU is a way for me to write silly Alternate Universe stories for Mystic Woods, by not abiding by the rules of the canon universe. Mostly making safe vore easier so I can write more fun and silly safe vore. 

Plot Summary: The Great and Terrible Yonah HaEsh is a frequent guest lecturer at The Academy of Wizardry (the premier wizard college), and of course, has fun (for him) method of disciplining students. But in this story, the students test his limits >:3c

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Yonah lay against the cool cave wall, one arm behind His back, the other across his supremely full stomach. Palm laying flat over the 6 struggling students he just ate. He even recognized the taste of repeat offenders. 

They weren’t struggling against him, well they were, but in a rather futile attempt to get comfortable. They all had detention for disrupting his lecture and they knew that meant a trip into his stomach. So they were making the best of it. Not an easy thing to do with six of them. 

Normally it was just one or two students and on different days. But today… today had been different. 

——

“Getting full, Professor?”

A student in the second row asked, as Yonah hiccuped after swallowing Chava, the fourth student in 30 minutes… his stomach was pushing at the buttons on his vest, which he undid. Another awkward moment to add to the collection. 

ugh yeah he was getting full. But he couldn’t let them win. He didn’t know what they were up to but With four conspirators in his stomach he And at least 5 others, “humiliate him by making him throw up” was highly probable. Wait not 5, he had based his count on the whispering his keen hearing picked up. 5 distinct voices, none of which had been Kalan. Six! Shit! 

“I don’t *HIC* see how that’s relevant to the lesson, Kalan, so unless you want to become part of this feast” he pointed at his stomach, “I isuggest you *HIC*, you keep your comments to yourself.” 

Red faced from hiccuping in front of the rest of the uneaten class, he turned back to the blackboard but kept his head at an angle to hear the class. The troublemakers were using message spells to talk, unaware Yonah could hear them and sense the magic. Or maybe they were aware. He noted where each sat, and tried to focus on their voices to put them to names. 

It was hard to concentrate with the four currently in his belly and a lesson to give! Keeping his mind on equations when there was So much movement… he put a hand over his middle and pushed them around a bit. 

“You’d better be paying attention in there! I know you can hear me. There will be a quiz and you’re not off the hook just because I ate you! Get the notes from your classmates.”

There was a resigned grumble from his occupants. 

“And as for you,” he turned as a streak of magic was released. He caught it before it hit the chalk board. Opening his hand he found the illusion that would have appeared around him. 

Several sparkling red arrows and a crude drawing of his face with wide opened fanged mouth. The accompanying words said “rawr feed me”. 

“Cute,” he mused before shaking it away. In all honesty he was relieved, it could have easily been something vulgar or derogatory towards him. “Big Dumb Giant” for example, which he would have reported. And he’d hate to think there was a culture of bigotry festering among the student body. “You will, by the way,” looking towards the student who cast the spell, “you and the rest of your tasty little friends,” he shifted his now glowing gaze to meet the eyes of the other students who froze, having believed themselves safe, “come talk to me after class,” he returned to the lesson, which proceeded with little more incident. 

Finally class ended and all but six students quickly made themselves scarce. Six students. Six morsels that he was very much looking forward to eating. After dinner, which was in about an hour. Though judging by their nervousness they thought he was going to eat them now. Three of them were failing to avoid looking at his still full stomach, two were mentally preparing themselves for the ordeal, and Kalan was standing defiant, arms crossed, but their eyes were twitchy, fingers digging into their arms. Even knowing one would be fine, it sure was terrifying, being eaten alive. 

He opened his mouth but it was one of his occupants who spoke. 

“Come on!! Let us out!!” a standarddemand, they heard the bell, they knew class was over. 

The statement was accompanied by a lot more movement, a great deal visible, which Yonah watched with amusement, causing his stomach to shake as he produced a deep evil chuck, and the 6 uneaten students shook with apprehension. Before anyone else could speak up Yonah stroked his middle.

“So impatient, you aren’t dying in there,” there were a few more protests but eventually they settled down. 

“Back to the matter at hand,” he looked at the six with flash of fire in his eyes and a lick of his lips, “Our rendezvous will have to be tonight, come to Xharem’s office, be there by Silence.” 

There was no curfew at the academy, students were expected to manage their own schedules. However, “Silence” was the unofficial term for the time of night when students were to keep noise to a minimum in the living quarters. About 10pm.. It’s wasn’t exact either… it was just an expected courtesy. 

“Failure to show up will result in detention being carried out during each class until test day” that was something he just thought up. Tomorrow not counting, as it was a Third Day, no classes. 

“You can’t be serious,” Kalan gave him a rather nasty look. 

“I’m always serious when it comes to snacking,” he said, patting his stomach as he smiled at Kalan, who did not break. The students inside were on the edge of losing their minds. 

“Speaking of, it’s time I pardon my current guests. So run along, I look forward to seeing you all again soon.”

Five were out of sight in a moment, but Kalan rolled their eyes and walked away, glancing back until turning a corner. 

Yonah stood up and stretched, sucking in his gut to squish his captives, before heading to Xarem’s caves. He absentmindedly hummed an old nursery rhyme. 

“So… are you gonna throw up or what! Some of us want to wash up before dinner!” 

That was… Maya? Yeah. He didn’t say anything, just kept walking. 

“The rest of us are done being dinner!” 

Yonah sighed, “I don’t want to spit you all up in the courtyard.”

“The fuck! You’ve done it before!”

“With one person, not 4 of you! It’s gonna be… unpleasant… if you thought it was gross before…eheh” that wasn’t an amused laugh. 

They shifted with concern. Why should it be any more gross?!

He passed another professor who eyed his middle. Of course they had to comment. They always do. 

“I would think an evil giant could have more control over a class if he so wished.”

This was Better than them critiquing his punishment methods! 

“Why ever would I wish for that?”

The professor's eyes narrowed, “indeed, why…” 

“Aidan!!! Get us out of here!!” 

Though The students couldn’t see, Aidan still raised an eyebrow, and motioned for Yonah to squat down. 

“Is that you Ian? I expected better from you.”

Ah! It was Ian Bloom, of course, he and Professor Aidan Bloom were cousins. Professor Bloom poked Yonah in the stomach right where Ian Bloom was presumably making a noticeable little bulge. 

“Next time don’t antagonize a giant!”

Yonah smiled but his knees were hurting so he stood up and bid Bloom goodbye and got to the caves uninterrupted. He filled a bucket with water and stuck his hands in, running heat out of them. 

“Alright you little shits, I’m getting you out, don’t fight it or each other,” he instructed and knelt by the bucket before making his hands into a fist and pressing into his gut. 

What Had he JUST SAID! He could tell they were scrambling to be the first released, even as he heaved And hacked like a foolish first year drunk at his first party. 

Not that He’d ever gotten drunk at school parties. No matter how much he drank he never got more than barely buzzed. Just couldn’t physically consume enough alcohol while reduced. Even if he could have been his own size there wasn’t enough alcohol at said parties to get him drunk. 

The first student slid out of his mouth and splashed into the warm water. 

He barely had time to catch his breath before his airways got blocked by the second squirming mass.

After this one he had to recover. He sat down by the bucket, monitoring the sulking students who had both submerged themselves to their noses. Chava and Ertza. They shot him dirty looks which he smiled sweetly at. Then he leaned over the bucket again to get the last two out, Ian and Maya. 

Gods that was an effort. There is only so much vomiting one can do with an effectively empty stomach before bile enters the picture. He knew it was coming as Maya and Ian started screaming in desperate, fearful confusion, pleading for freedom. They didn’t know that the viscous, dark yellow, noxious bitter bile was otherwise harmless. 

And Chava and Ertza didn’t know what was making their friends so scared. They demanded answers; Chava even threatened with telling the administration. Yonah held a hand up to try and convey that they should just sit tight. But they still shrieked as the first glob of bile fell into the bucket ahead of Ian who was coated in a thick layer. 

He had to take another break. Maya was still crying but was calming down from the initial shock. 

“I told you, it’s gross,” he spat, fetching the soap for Ian and lying down, gently stroking at the last human in his stomach. “The bile won’t hurt you, Maya, I’ll get you out soon.”

His face was red and felt inflated, his throat was so sore, his jaw was sore. The only thing he could smell was bile and he was sure he had nearly passed out. It was almost enough to make him reconsider his punitive methods. 

Not really. 

Looking to the bucket he saw Chava with her arms folded over the edge. Now she was smiling at him. 

“Why do you do this to yourself? Is it worth it? Do we really taste that good?”

Yonah looked not so innocently up at the ceiling. 

“Yes,” he chuckled, glancing at Chava to see her roll her eyes, “and there is nothing quite like a belly full of squirming smallfolk.”

“That’s too much information!” Ian said as he pulled off his robes. The bile had not penetrated far into his undersilks. 

“No such thing in our line of work,” Yonah said, coughing and sitting up again. 

“Ready Maya?”

“IVE BEEN READY YOU FUCK-“ he didn’t let her finish her retort before heaving so powerfully that she was practically shot back into his throat. 

They waited awkwardly for Maya to splash down and to get her out of her robes and a large piece of soap. 

“Take your time,” Yonah told them. He left to get some cleaner water, “but don’t leave,” 

Once he got back they finished getting clean and dried off. They had even used spells to clean their robes. Now they Waited to be dismissed but he wasn’t done with them.

Not just yet. 

He adjusted to sitting criss cross. 

“The rest of your little group will be stopping by tonight,”

“Yes we heard…”

“I want to know what your goals were with this little stunt. The only thing I can think of is to make me look more foolish the more of you I ate as class progressed,” he was painfully aware of how silly it looked when he ate more than 2 humans. “Or make me barf in front of the rest of the class.” 

The students exchanged worried glances. 

“Unless your answer is something truly heinous, I won’t eat you again. Just know that I don’t appreciate being humiliated, even if it gives me an excuse to eat you.”

“It was just an experiment,” Chava said, fully prepared to be the one eaten again, “to see how many of us you would eat in one class period.”

She braced herself to be suddenly picked up shoved back into the giant’s mouth. Opening one eye she saw her teacher’s sly smile. 

“An experiment? That’s adorable. I wish you would have told me, I would have had no objections to such a test. Or even playing along. I guess the answer is four. I don’t know if that’s a satisfactory result, but I hope it was worth the methods to get it.”

“Sir, If I may ask,” Ertza spoke up, and continued when Yonah nodded, “you intend to um… eat the other six tonight… all at once I presume?”

“Yes,” said Yonah, and Ertza had to gather his wits again. 

“Why did you stop at four in class?” 

Because he had stopped at four. Shooting magic at him should have gotten Amiya eaten!

“Do you really want that answer?” He asked.

“Just because you asked that I am suddenly not sure… but it was the purpose of the experiment.”

“I do! I bet six was your limit!” Said Maya. “Kalan said I was crazy!” 

“Oh? Well you’re correct, five to seven humans, depending on their size,” Maya looked regretfully proud at this statement, “but I had a class to teach, the more I eat the harder it is to think,” he explained how overeating affects giants, making them drowsy, almost drunk. They were a bit put off by the biology lesson but couldn't resist being fascinated in that way wizard’s are. 

“It’s not debilitating, it’s not gonna make me pass out unless I let it , but it would make recalling and conveying information about transdimensional light structures of illusions impossible.” 

He stood up, “Now, I’m sure you’re all hungry, I know I feel pretty empty.”

Stepping by them he opened the large door on the other side of the cave, holding it open while they realized they were free to go. 

Of course they were all going in the same direction. In an ideal world he would continue And leave them behind; if he were polite and thoughtful, he would let them get ahead of him. Just let them get away from him. 

But he was neither of those things. He was evil. He shrank down to keep pace. 

The fog of discomfort was so thick it could be cut with a butter knife, and Yonah basked in it. Making horrendous small talk that they were forced to engage in as to snub him would result in additional punishment. These humans had made teaching extremely embarrassing. He was merely returning the favor. 

“I wonder what’s on the menu tonight, besides the rest of your friends,” he mused as the humans sped-walked to keep up.

“It’s somehow weirder when he says these things when our size!” Maya hissed to Chava.

“Isn’t it just!” Yonah responded, “almost as weird as full grown adults pulling pranks they know will get them eaten.” 

It was always worth reminding the students that they weren’t children. In fact Ian was older than him, and Chava only a year younger. There was no wrong age to apply to the academy. though most did so when between 18 and 21, some students were in their 30s or 40s! Yonah was only 25! And since his lectures were usually brief seminars into topics such as “advanced light physics for more robust illusions”, they weren’t attended by first year students. 

It was always fun to watch their faces when they realized he could hear their whispers. And kinda of disheartening since most of them had definitely attended his lectures on giants. 

When they arrived at the mess hall Yonah took his spot next to Xharem, the dragon professor. She was laying down but sat up to make room for the half-giant who returned to his normal size. Xharem rubbed her face on his arm as a formal greeting, and as a way to signal it was permissible for him to sit down as well. 

She was already eating. Two thirds of a roasted cow made into a stew with all sorts of vegetables, rice, and spiced to perfection. The other third had of course been used for Yonah’s meal, which was brought out still piping hot.  

Meaning no disrespect to the kitchen staff, Yonah got out a jar of reaper pepper powder and mixed in a more than generous pinch. He offered some to Xharem as well. 

“I- have detentions tonight, unless you have objections. The students were unusually rowdy today.” 

“As long as they don’t make too much noise,” she said, “And what do you mean ‘rowdy’?”

Yonah explained and the dragon burst out laughing when he told them they were doing this on purpose. 

Of course that got the rest of the hall’s attention, and they waited until everyone went back to their own conversations before continuing. 

“If you’d told me years ago that the students would be trying to get eaten by you I would have laughed like that but in your face My Yonah.”

“I didn’t eat people at all years ago,” he pointed out. 

“Not the point I was making,” Xharem focused again on her stew. 

“Im going to try to get them to sleep,” he said, “so there shouldn’t be any noise.” 

“Do they know your plan?” The dragon’s eyes sparkled, “that you’re going to hold them all night?”

“No,” he grinned, “I gotta be evil somehow. They set out to humiliate me and clearly being eaten doesn’t scare them and isn’t punishment enough since it was central to their plan! I don’t want to hurt them, so I figured I can frustrate the hell out of them.” 

“And still eat them,” Xharem said. 

“Of course,” Yonah smiled. 

Since he had such a wonderful “dessert” to look forward to (And thought that having his students sitting in food as it digested was crossing several lines) he only ate a small amount of his dinner. But he stayed to talk to Xharem and other professors who climbed onto the massive slab rather than eat at a normal table. Mostly his friends but a few others, like Aidan Bloom, came to chat. 

But let’s take a break for a moment to see how the students are doing. 

The four had mostly went their separate ways but Maya And Chava stuck together. They got their plates and went to the central table which was laden with tonight’s choices. Chava loaded her plate but Maya only picked out a few roasted vegetables and slices of bread for buttering. 

“I’m not even sure I can eat so soon after…” even clean she still smelled the bile and mucus and… 

“Well, he clearly can,” Chava pointed and elbow at where Yonah sat. It was so frustrating to see him so animated and cheerful, talking with the other smallfolk professors like he was a normal person, who didn’t eat smallfolk. She had heard rumors that he’s eaten some of them, but that couldn’t be true! Even if it explained why he was allowed to eat students. 

“And we weren’t really eaten, more like put in time-out in a unique location.” 

Maya thought of a comeback about how they weren’t children so getting a “time out” was kinda infantilizing, but not fast enough. 

They sat down without really seeing who was at the table. So of course it was Kalan, as well as Aaron And Toby. Three out of the other six who had detention in a few hours. 

“Survived being eaten by the giant I see?” Kalan sneered. 

“Not exactly an accomplishment when you know said giant isn’t going to digest you” Chava said, And defiantly took a bite of food that she fully intended to keep down and digest. 

“You’re surprisingly chipper for one who’s next down his throat!” Ertza noted, “And you two surprisingly calm.”

Kalan picked at the remains of their beans “like you said, not so bad when you know it’s safe.” 

“We never said it was a good experience! It was horrible!”

“I’ve been eaten before,” Kalan asserted. 

“So have I!” Chava shot back “This is different, I hope you like -“ 

“Please for the god of knowledge , stop talking about this! Some of us are trying to eat!” 

Aaron was shaking a bit. He’d never been eaten, and at the start of this little experiment he was feeling confident but now, now that it was really going to happen… 

“I would honestly advise against it,” Said Ertza, “you don’t want to get sick in there.”

“I said stop talking!” But he stopped eating. 

“Oh, Aaron... I mean. It’s gonna suck, but it’s not scary. Well ok. Being swallowed is scary but otherwise it’s just uncomfortable.” Ertza wasn’t sure they should continue, “and like, it smells, that’s why- I- Yeah…” 

—-

It was pretty much exactly 10pm when all six students knocked at the cave door. 

Yonah let them in and smiled as they trembled when he placed the huge metal bar into the door’s latch. No escape. 

He had them set up the enchantment circle in the center of the cave. He didn’t want to waste the safety charms in his staff, and these had to last longer anyways. 

It was a tricky cast, especially as Yonah had them do it. As if Making them learn something Legitimized this. The set up was more difficult but messing that up would be disaster so he had done it for them. 

he knelt by the now smoldering diagrams made of incense that had not been fully consumed by the cast. 

“I recommend not wearing your robes, little ones, it will make it marginally more comfortable.”

“Sir… you want us… to strip??” Aaron’s voice broke as he spoke what everyone else was thinking. Had Yonah lost his mind? 

“I don’t appreciate the implications,” Yonah smiled widely, “I said robes. Leave on your silks.” 

“Probably just makes it easier to taste us,” Kalan didn’t make any motions to obey Yonah and the others were following their lead.

“It does but That's not why. I Promise you will regret it if you don’t. based on the last group’s experience, you don’t want to be such thick fabrics.” 

All but Kalan immediately disrobed. Kalan took his sweet time, and for good reason. 

“Kalan,” 

Yonah didn’t need to say anything else for the human to step forward. 

“Your smart mouth has earned you the honor of being first!” He said like he was giving out some award. 

“Just, get it over with, I need to study,” 

Yonah obliged and took his own sweet time swallowing Kalan down. 

While he had not told the others they had to watch, he knew they didn’t dare look away. And as Kalan made it to his stomach he sighed and looked at the cowering students. They were looking at his stomach, watching the small tremors as Kalan got comfortable. 

“Toby, for casting that spell you are second.” 

She confidently strode into his hand. 

The order of the rest is unimportant. He mostly wanted all eyes on Kalan. And he actually did go faster with them. Most of them had clearly bathed before hand, which made their flavors sharp and fresh. Gosh he was glad to be a giant, he wanted to thank whatever god made smallfolk taste so damn good. He chuckled as he imagined that most smallfolk would like to curse such a god. Which made him chuckle and the humans inside him to complain. 

“Hey! Try to be quiet, we don’t want to wake Xharem.”

It had been some time since he’d eaten so many folks at once. It hurt a bit, yet He stroked his gut affectionately as the humans tried to orient themselves. 

“Don’t worry about air,” he said, “I made sure it cycles out.” 

There was a jumble of responses but he was sure most were along the sarcastic lines of “wow thanks, so considerate!” 

“What are you doing!” Someone shouted as he stood up. 

“Going to my room,” he answered, as he wobbled to his feet. 

OOF. His gut was very heavy. He hoped he wouldn’t get sick! That would be unpleasant for everyone. Managing to steady himself he discarded the illusion of his formal robes. He had changed into his nightgown before they arrived, the idea of changing with a belly full of a students was… unappealing. Cradling his stomach and weaving a little magic to dim the lights in the main chamber he wandered back to his own. 

Wow he was sleepy. He had done his best to seem alert but once he got past four of them the waves of drowsiness were hard to ignore. It was only 11pm! 

He sat down on his mattress and leaned against the wall. It was nice and cold. He was silent for a few minutes, focusing on his occupants. 

They shifted a lot and were talking in hushed tones. He could still hear them fairly well. Mostly wondering how long they would be stuck there, asking someone to move their foot, and worrying about the fact that he wasn’t talking. 

So he waited a few more minutes before announcing: 

“I know about the experiment.” 

His stomach was filled with grumbles and possibly a bit of panic. 

“I can’t say I’m not pleased with how I was compensated, you are quiet the scrumptious dessert!” He drummed his fingers over his gut. “Still, I was the unwitting subject, and I don’t appreciate being made to look the fool.”

Breathing in deeply he focused on the struggling movements. No one spoke up, which he’s hoped for since he wasn’t done talking. 

“Don’t do it again,” he said with a deep growl, “I hope you don’t show the other professors this level of disrespect. As fun as it must be to mess with me, I can’t be appeased with getting to eat trouble makers. I will enforce real punishment if this continues.” 

It was getting harder for him to think, with his belly so full. He lay down on his back and closed his eyes. 6 was a lot of humans and it was a bit painful, but in this position it was simply bliss. 

“Real punishment sir? You- you ate us… what would Real punishment be?” Toby sounded worried. 

Yonah put a hand over his stomach and let gravity hold it down. 

He took another deep breath, but kept his hand in place so it pressed into his stomach. He had to really gather his thoughts to respond intelligently. 

“Im not stupid, you don’t learn anythig from this. Being eaten is you paying me back for being little shits more than is my disciplinin you. Not much to do in my stomach, you just sit there. Not very constructive.” 

Wow he was impressed with himself! he was still able to use such big words. 

“You would just have us do work like the rest of the professors,” Kalan supplied.

“Correct,” he smiled. He was really too soft on them. Letting them do nothing for detention, they could be fixing the unicorn stables, or clearing a tower of blood moths, or be put on staff tuning duty for a week. They should be thanking him! He hiccuped and remembered a thing. 

“Oh and Kalan, you owe Maya some money.”

There was a lot of movement and shouting. Specifically at Kalan for having moved so much. 

“Wait what! Why?”

Yonah yawned and pulled up his blanket, and made sure his pillow was in perfect poofiness. 

“I- doh-ooont remember exactly,” he wasn’t trying to sound awake anymore. His voice was light and uncaring. 

“Are you falling asleep!” Aaron spoke, voice cracking, “Professor! We’re still in your stomach!”

A humming sigh rolled through the stomach as the giant responded. 

“It’s rare I get to sleep with such a wonderfully full belly.” He said, affectionately rubbing his stomach. “Did you know that overeating makes giants drowsy. It’s-*yawn* quiet delightful.”

His limbs were starting to feel heavy and numb as he started to tune out the humans. 

“This must be in violation of some rule sir! You can’t keep us here all night!” Kalan sounded both angry and scared. 

It took a few seconds for Yonah to respond, and encouragement from the others 

“It’s alight, you’ll be *f-fiiine*” he yawned again.

He did feel a bit bad, they were definitely scared. Trapped in the dark and damp, with all the noises of his body, for several hours to come. But they really would be ok. Probably very stiff when they woke. 

“If you sleep it- hhuuuh” he forced his brain to work, “it will be over sooner.”

“We have homework!” 

They all started complaining and while he was certainly fighting hard to stay awake, the noise was irritating his sensitive ears. 

“If you all don’t quiet down I’ll eat you again next class,” he shifted a bit. They shifted a bit. 

“So try to sleep, or at least keep it down. I’ll let you out in the morning.” 

There was a lot of grumbling but they did seem to be finding more comfortable positions.

“Goodnight my tasty little students,” he said, before drifting off, and arm across his stomach, so pleasantly full. And he swore a few voices returned the sentiment. 

No one spoke for several minutes as the Giant’s breathing And heartbeat slowed around them. 

“What do we do?!” Leor hissed.

This was the most uncomfortable he had ever been. Squished up against a fleshy wall with someone’s elbow in his thigh and someone else’s ass in his face. And it smelled. It smelled so bad. Not to mention it was like a sauna. But was he really sweating or was that just fluids from the stomach...

“There isn’t any chance one of you has a teleport prepared?” Kalan asked. 

They were pinned to the bottom of the stomach, near the sphincter that led to the intestines. The fluids that gathered in the stomach were kept low by the motions of the muscle, pushing it all towards Kalan and through the minuscule aperture. 

At least with Yonah laying on his back they weren’t stacked on top of each other. That had sucked a lot. 

“We’re in our silks Kalan! Unless you’ve got one up your Ass!” Toby said. 

Toby was sandwiched between Kalan and Shital, and wriggled until she was on her back. Minimally better. Her face wasn’t pressing into mucus covered flesh anymore, she could breathe better. 

“Maybe we should sleep. I don’t particularly feel like talking to any of you for- how long do you think this will be?” Shital suggested but didn’t sound thrilled. 

“Sleep?! We’re In a giant’s stomach! I ain’t fucking sleeping!” Leor was too wound up, this was too freaky. 

“At least can we get some light then?”

“If rather not see” but Toby already conjured a few pinpricks of dull light. 

“We can do better than this! We’ll be aching something fierce in the morning if we don’t reorganize.” 

A grumble that wasn’t from Yonah went around her. They all agreed but didn’t want to move. 

“Come on! It will be worth it.”

After several minutes of squabbling they managed to all lay four of them sort of shoulder to shoulder with two laying across on the four. It was still packed like sardines, but they weren’t contorted any more and no one’s elbows were in someone’s eyes. 

“I’m-I’m going to try and sleep!” Aaron announced from the far end of the bottom pile. Everyone looked at him disbelieving. 

“You all can stay awake if you wish but I don’t fancy laying here for 8 hours! I’m sleeping!” And he turned his back to the rest of them. 

They all were quiet and then amazed when a few minutes later heard gentle sleepy snores from Aaron. He’d done it! 

“How is he able to do that?” Toby hissed, not wanting to wake him.

“Maybe we can too if we just shut up and close our eyes,” Shital suggested, she lay next to Aaron and sort of nestled into the flesh below her and against Aaron. A moment later she slept too.

“This is insanity!” Leor said to The rest, which was now Kalan and Amiya, for Toby also succumbed a shortly after Shital. 

Wait. Amiya was sleeping too! They’d barely said a word since they were eaten, and possibly were asleep before Aaron!

“Clearly not,” Kalan sort of gestured to the four sleeping astoundingly soundly. 

They wouldn’t admit it but the flesh beneath them was amazingly soft and warm. If only they weren’t squashed by 5 others, this might be nice. 

Ugh! No! This wasn’t nice! They had been eaten! This was bad! 

“Try to sleep Leor,” Kalan yawned and turned their head away from Leor’s glare. 

It was still an hour before it happened, but Leor eventually managed to fall asleep. 

All in all, Not the worst detention ever. 

[FIN] if you liked PLEASE REBLOG

[Thanks for reading! please reblog! Or message me telling me what you think! I crave feedback! For more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’]

[btgalaxy]

Infidelity

➳ a/n: this was gonna be a drabble oops ~ admin lottie

➳ pairing: jin x reader

➳ genre: angst

➳ word count: 2.5k

Masterlist

        “I left dinner in the fridge.” You tell your husband, leaning down to place a tender kiss on his cheek while he scans over the newspaper, scoffing down some scrambled eggs you made earlier.

“Lasagna?” He mumbles through his mouthful, glancing at you briefly.

“It’s a pasta bake. You can oven heat it until it’s hot then split it between you and the kids.” You inform him, taking your car keys out of the kitchen drawer and rummaging through the cupboard to locate your spare key to leave under the mat for when you get home.

“You’ll be back tomorrow morning right?” He inquires, finally drawing his attention away from his newspaper to look at your retreating form, struggling now to haul your overnight suitcase to the front door.

“Yeah, and the conference is only a couple of hours away so if there’s an emergency I can always come back.”

“So 10am, right?” He confirms again, spooning another mouthful of eggs into his mouth.

“10am. I’ll give you a call when I get there. Don’t forget to pick Y/D/N up from ballet after school, she finishes at 6, but sometimes they like you to stay for a bit to watch what they’ve done in the session.” You announce and he sighs in response. Despite being a great dad, Jin never liked to attend recitals and ceremonies; he’s always been a pat on the back kind of father, giving the kids a solid well done and keep up the good work before continuing on with life. He doesn’t really do dramatics.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, gorgeous.” You wave him goodbye as he takes a sip of his coffee, freshly brewed from your new machine.

“See you.”

The conference runs smoothly, as does Jin’s evening. You call him at 8, and he confirms he picked up Y/D/N and made the kids dinner. He’s a little dismissive in the way he talks, and you pick up on it quite quickly, but you pin it down to the fact he’s been left alone with the kids for the night which rarely happens; he’s usually the one on the business trips and leaves you to handle them. Not that you mind, you know his job is quite demanding and his boss is a particular prick when it comes to your husband.

After you hang up, you find yourself rather drowsy and turn in for the night quite early, regardless your colleagues’ insisting that you should head down to the bar with them to drink for the evening, but you guess you miss your kids, your husband, your home; you’re a mother- you worry, it’s what you do. So you head into bed by 9, enveloping yourself in the satin sheets encasing the hotel’s thick duvet. You take a mental note to buy yourself and Jin’s bed some new sheets too, you’ve had yours for long enough now that the colours started to tinge and the white now more of a soft grey.

You find yourself tossing and turning all night, and when it reaches 5am and you’ve barely slept at all, you figure your best chance would be to drive home early and get a couple of hours sleep in at home, in your own bed. You send one of your co-workers a text, updating her that you’ll be leaving early after a rough night which you won’t expect a response from for at least a few hours; from all the racket outside your door last night it sounds as though they really did make good use of the bar.

The exhaustion sets in as you drive home, only fuelled by the thought of curling up next to your husband and getting back to sleep. In fact, as you’re home so early and the kids will still be dead asleep, you think to yourself about waking him up when you get there. Maybe you could even have morning sex because you can’t even remember the last time you had sex before 10pm. You always anticipated that your sex life would buffer beneath the non-stop agenda that comes hand in hand with marriage and kids, but lately it’s really suffered as you’ve even lost your alone time while one of you goes away on a business trip or has to work late or is attending a recital- it’s all piled up.

You quietly unlock the front door and step in, adamant not to wake up the kids and interrupt your plans to finally get a moment alone to reconnect with your husband of 9 years. You cautiously make your way up the stairs, holding your bag against your shoulder and making sure it doesn’t knock against any walls to disturb any slumber. You smile victoriously as you pass by your son’s room, finally reaching your destination with a profound sense of triumph.

Hesitantly, you open the door, allowing a little light to spill into the room and across the blankets strewn haphazardly across the bed- which automatically sets you a little on edge as Jin has never been a restless sleeper, always very still and undisturbed. What really unnerves you, however, is the sight of some lacy, female pants on the mahogany flooring, next to a bra, a dress, some heels. Your stomach drops and you feel sick as your hand snaps up to switch on the light.

There she is. A young brunette sleeping soundly on your side of the bed, with your husband’s arm hung loosely across her bare back as she curls up towards him. God, it hurts. It hurts so much when his arm tightens around her protectively as his eyes flutter open to meet your own, slightly widening in alarm as he actually acknowledges your unexpected presence.

“Y/N?” He rasps, moving to sit up on the bed while covering his lower regions. God, like you haven’t seen any of that before. It’s like you were never even married for 9 years.

“What is this?” You choke, as the woman stirs a little, shuffling closer to the man you love in her most vulnerable, perfect state.

“Y/N this isn’t-,” he stammers, “she isn’t- I can’t-“

“Baby?” She groans, still unaware of your presence in the doorway as she awakens further and runs her hands onto his chest to pull him back down. You want to claw out her damn eyes, but you feel as though a whole grand piano has fallen on you, pinning you to the floor as you suffocate under the weight of it.

“Y/N let’s talk downstairs.” Jin is suddenly scrambling to get some boxers on as he moves out of the bed and the girl finally turns to look at you, tears subconsciously streaming from your eyes although you maintain a neutral expression.

“Oh shit,” she whispers, “fuck.” She too is now clambering for her clothes, and you can’t help but notice her breasts are that much perkier than yours, skin that much clearer and tighter than your own. You refrain from looking any lower than that, not wanting to damage your pride even further.

“Y/N we should talk downstairs.” His hand reaches out and touches your arm as he stops next to you, and you slowly look at the point of contact before glaring back up at him, shoving his palm as far away from you as possible.

“We should talk downstairs? We should talk downstairs?” Your volume increases as you become more and more hysterical, the reality finally settling in after your moment of immobility.

“Y/N-“

“What the fuck is this, Jin?” You begin screaming, “have you seriously been fucking another woman in my house in my bed with our fucking children metres away! Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Y/N calm down.” He speaks quietly, slightly sternly which sets you off even more. He has no right to tell you to do anything right now.

“No, no- what the fuck-,” You stumble over your words amongst your hysteria, “how long- who the fuck is she?”

“I should go.” The woman speaks up, now holding most of her things awkwardly in her arms as your eyes snap towards her and grate over her figure, glowering as she fumbles clumsily to get past you.

“Fucking right you should. And you should never come back.” You snarl, glaring her down as she cowers past and jogs down the hallway, where she runs into none other that your little girl, staring innocently at the unfolding events in front of her eyes.

“Mummy?” She calls, eyes stinging with tears at what she’s witnessed. Your anger begins to ease momentarily as your maternal instincts kick in and you move towards her wiping at my eyes, hearing the door slam shut as the other woman makes her frantic escape.

“Mummy what’s happened?” She sobs, and you cradle her into your arms and carry her back into her bedroom, sparing Jin a livid glance while he rakes his fingers through his hair under the doorway to your bedroom.

You gently stroke her hair, tucking her back into bed, “nothing’s happened, sweetheart. Just go back to sleep, okay?” Your tone is stoic and resigned, although your actions comfort her still, enough that she accepts your words and turns back over carefully, bringing her small hands to rest under her head as she closes her eyes again.

“I’ll see you in the morning, beautiful.” You kiss her on the forehead before slowly walking back out and gently clicking the door shut again. The light spilling from downstairs indicates Jin’s presence and you hastily bite back the stinging wetness at your eyes, clamping your teeth down on your lower lip as it trembles helplessly. You haven’t cried like this in so long; you always had this preconception that mother’s should only cry when their kid does something incredible and you’re just so proud of them you can’t help but cry happily at what they’ve achieved. You never anticipated you would be crying after finding your husband in your own bed with another woman. Never.

Deciding to be strong and relegate the desperate urge to smack your husband with as much force as you can muster while kicking him out the front door, you make your way downstairs and to the light of the kitchen, where Jin is breathing heavily with his head in his hands, elbows on the countertop. You gulp, moving towards the man that now feels like a stranger when he looks up at you with desperate eyes, regret flooding his features.

“Y/N,” he swallows, squeezing his eyes shut as his eyes begin to leak, “Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

You stand opposite him, on the other side of the counter. And as he looks at you, you can’t help but picture you both stood at the altar with your looks of carefree, unconditional love as you gazed at each other, the priest’s words drowned out while you could only focus on each other and the fire you felt burn whenever you touched. Now look at you.

“Who is she?” Your voice is stagnant, dripping with an underlying venom that rolls off your tongue.

He nervously glances at the granite counter, “a friend of a friend, I met her at a bar.”

You laugh coldly, “so you brought back some slut from a club. Classy.” Your words even surprise yourself, as you wouldn’t usually be so prejudice, but they are just falling from your lips themselves the way water cascades down a waterfall; it just happens.

Jin ignores your malice, “she’s nothing to me.” You know he’s lying. You know he wants her.

“How long?” You question vaguely, though he immediately knows what you’re asking.

“I’ve only slept with her twice and only recently,” he defends.

“Oh perfect, that makes it so much better.” You spit.

He pauses, exhaling, “but I’ve been taking her out for a few months now.”

It’s probably the worst thing you could ever hear.

You think this hurts so much because he was never actually sleeping with her, till recently. He must’ve been going to her for company, for the feeling of falling in love, being in love. Yes, you’ve not exactly had the chance to see each other much these past few months but your love for him never faltered. You never questioned it nor even considered going to someone else for the comfort you weren’t getting from him.

“Y/N I’m so sorry.”

“How could you bring her here?” You whisper, caving to your emotions, “how could you let her sleep where I sleep? I’m your wife, Jin. I’m the mother to your children.”

He begins sobbing, “I fucked up, Y/N. I fucked up so bad.”

The fact you’ve been married for 9 years makes your heart instantly want to comfort him, despite his infidelity. You hate that you love him, but after 9 years you can’t just ‘switch it off’. It just doesn’t work like that.

“Y/N,” He pants, all of a sudden coming towards you in a frenzy, “please don’t leave me. I’ll never see her again, I’ll never do this again, I don’t want to leave you, I always loved you, I never stopped-“ His words are frantic and panicked, but you cut him off with a sharp tone.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Jin.” You speak, finally feeling a little calmer as you divert your thoughts to figuring out how the hell you will move past this, if you can move past this.

“Y/N, please,” he begins weeping, and immediately drops to his knees as his arms snake around your legs, “Y/N, please don’t leave me, I can’t live without you.”

You let him bawl into your knees as his shoulders shake, the vision of his blonde head against your legs taking you to a more intimate place where you always felt safe with your husband. But, after this, you don’t know if you’ll ever feel safe again.

“I think we need some time apart.” You declare with a shaky voice, as Jin’s actions cease and his bloodshot, puffy eyes look up at you pleadingly.

“Please, no, please stay. Stay for a bit we can talk about this.” He cries, still on his knees as he begs.

You jostle out of his grip and his palms hit the floor as you back up, “we will talk. But I need space from you first.”  

You’re thankful to already have a packed bag, as you approach the door, Jin now sat at the dining table somewhat more composed, yet still broken. You don’t say goodbye as you reach for the door handle, because goodbye means something definite to you, and despite all he’s done you don’t think you’re quite ready to say goodbye just yet. You shut the door behind you lightly, finally letting out a breath you don’t realise you’re holding till you can breathe in the open air of your front porch. You walk down the steps to the drive and back into your car again, bag in hand, and you tightly grip the steering wheel with a strong breath. And you drive away.

[hanmemyphone]

Bad Ending 2.1

Two requests for very similar concepts so I decided to just throw them together!

Thank you for the requests, hope you enjoy!

(also, I’m sorry for asshole!Jumin in this one D: )

You had known for a while, where he went late at night, the fact that he wasn’t at the office when you called to ask, why he had so many ‘business trips’ - you knew the answer to it all.

He thought otherwise, he thought that he was being discrete, that you suspected nothing but that wasn’t the case. The glimpses you took and the guilt you felt from ‘breaking’ into his phone due to his hopelessness with technology and inability to set a passcode all lead up to your suspicions and worries being confirmed.

Your husband, the love of your life, Han Jumin, was seeing another woman behind your back. At first, you were mad. You wanted to scream, you wanted to curse, you wanted to shout at him but as the hours ticked on with you pacing around the penthouse furiously in wait, your anger began to dissipate, to your surprise.

In the end, you had this feeling which nodded along. 

I knew it all along.

It was like you were telling yourself, ”I told you so!” You always had this hunch, the annoying idea stuck in the back of your head. The fact you found out from his phone frustrated you but at the end of the day, you were oddly accepting of it. Maybe it’s because you knew you couldn’t leave him. That you wouldn’t leave him. After all, you had made this promise with him years ago when you first met.

“I promise me that you’ll never leave my side,” he asked that one day, your hands in his. You replied firmly with, ”I won’t,” and so, you were tied with him for life. You knew the moment you said those words, you wouldn’t be able to go back on them, even if he didn’t remember your promise. Even if he had forgotten, if he left you for another woman, you would try your hardest to keep that promise. You admit you were a fool but you were a fool who was foolishly in love with that man. You were determined to stay quiet, see him off when he left for work, greet him when he came back home. You were going to act normal, just like you always had but one event changed everything.

It was a day off from work, you were sitting at home watching movies and waiting for Jumin to come home- hoping for Jumin to come home. You checked the time over and over, the clock from 10pm. You had dinner on the table, already set. You wanted to talk about your day, what happened at work or what happened in the countless movies you had watched without concentrating but as the second ticked on by, you knew that he wouldn’t be coming back tonight. 

A knock at the door got you excited.

Though as you opened it, it wasn’t the face you expected but in fact, his secretary. “Is something the matter?” Jaehee asked with concern on her face as you shook your head, trying your best to force a smile. “It’s nothing, I just thought it was the delivery I ordered!” you laughed, awkwardly. “But isn’t that food on the table?” Jaehee replied, the concern growing. You quickly stood in front of her in some attempt to block her sight but you knew that it was useless. Instead, you tried to distract her by asking her if she wanted a coffee but on your way to the kitchen, you stopped still and clutched the left side of your chest. You couldn’t move and quickly you fell to your knees, gasping for air and then hit the ground. Your mind was blank and saw the world in your view flicker.

Then turn black.

You woke up later that day, not to see the one you were waiting for but rather Yoosung with worry all over his face.

"Are you alright?" He asked a bit too loudly for what you assumed was a hospital room. Everything was white, the walls, the floor and your bed sheets. The curtains opened to reveal the night sky as you noticed even the moon shone brightly. You quickly noticed the oxygen mask over your mouth and the waiting IV stand next to your bed.

You sighed.

“Isn’t this overkill? I’m sure I just didn’t sleep enough,” you commented softly surprised at your inability to talk while feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people attention and medical attention you were receiving. You were sure that this was somebody overreacting to a simple malnutrition problem or lack of sleep but the look on Jaehee’s face as she walked in with a doctor told you otherwise. You felt your chest suddenly sting as you steadied yourself for not so great news. “Does your family have any history with heart diseases Miss?” the doctor asked, looking straight into your eyes. You nodded and replied that it was quite common on your dad’s side yet you hadn’t experienced any symptoms. “Unfortunately you’ve just experienced a silent heart attack,” the doctor told you, Yoosung’s mood dropping visually as he shrunk in his chair, ”and I’m afraid it’s done some damage to the lower chambers of your heart.” For some reason, you lifted your hand to touch your chest asking if it was serious. “I’m afraid it is.”

“Don’t call Jumin, please Jaehee,” you pleaded to her, seeing her struggle with the phone in her hand, ”Please, I don’t want him to know.” “But after hearing how serious your condition now is, how can I not inform him about the situation?” she answered, visibly battling with herself. “It’s because of how serious it is, that’s why I don’t want him to find out,” you explained as you were now sitting up in your bed, the oxygen mask now off but with the warning to not move a lot,”I’m begging you, consider this my last request.” The word last struck Jaehee and she dropped her arm, her phone gripped lightly in her hand. “Don’t say that noona!” Yoosung commented from next to you, ”I’m sure this won’t be your last!” The young man’s optimism brought a smile to your face but you couldn’t help but know that there wouldn’t be much time to make another dying request. You knew how your body felt more than anybody and you knew that time was running out.

Jumin opened the door to his penthouse with a few clicks on the keypad. He hadn’t been home for a while but didn’t feel guilty at all. He knew that his wife wouldn’t complain, you hadn’t since you got married all those years ago. While he expected to see your face when he opened the door, there was only silence when he threw his suit jacket on the couch. He called out for you and walked over to the room you both shared, only to find it neatly made and no evidence that someone had been here. The home was too still for Jumin’s liking. He walked over to the kitchen, hoping to find a trace of your presence but only noticed the food on the table still wrapped in plastic wrap.

He could only wonder where you went at this hour of the night.

Another day passed without seeing your face. He went to work as usual but made a little effort to be home earlier to see if he could catch you and have dinner together. He didn’t know what he was trying to make up for with all this rushing but he thought that he should at least make it home to enjoy a meal with his wife though when you failed to show up for the consecutive night, he started to suspect something. He sat idly on the couch, brooding over the idea that perhaps you were having an affair behind his back. He tapped his foot and continued to think. Maybe, just maybe, he was beginning to feel a bit guilty for his actions.

Five sleepless nights later he was sent back early from work by Jaehee who assured him that the teams were doing their best to find you and that he was being nothing but a burden at work. His lack of sleep affected everything, his judgement, his ability to communicate and his efficiency. There was no situation where he would be making progress when he was this sleep deprived. He had declined every call from the woman he was spending nights with and just sat at home waiting for the door to open. 

Jumin was breaking down physically and mentally without you by his side. 

He was driven home by Driver Kim who then saw him to the elevator of the apartment complex in fears that Jumin would trip on the way. A surprising thank you was whispered before the elevator closed its doors and sent him up to the uppermost floor. When its doors opened again he took a single step out and noticed a familiar face. He felt his knees wobble as he attempted to keep his composure but seeing that face made him weak.

“Jumin...” you whispered as you stopped still, the suitcase you were pulling behind you stopping as well, ”I didn’t expect to see you here?”

He just stared at you in disbelief. Everything you were saying sounded like air. He knew you were saying something and he knew he needed to say something back but he didn’t know where to start.

Where were you? Are you staying? Why do you have a suitcase? Where are you going?

The questions were darting within his mind but he wasn’t able to say a single word. You were being patient like you always had with him. You could feel that he was conflicted. There was no way Jumin could go this long without saying something and it just prompted you to wait but your mind told you to stop. You had waited enough for this man and you didn’t have the time to wait anymore. Now that he had seen you, there was no way you could escape completely. You needed to break everything off now.

You began to walk again, toward the elevator behind him but he grabbed your arm as you walked by him. “Where do you think you’re doing?” he asked. You heard his demand but when you turned to face him, you saw the desperation in his eyes. “Don’t you think you’ve been gone long enough?” he continued as you felt his grip tighten. You instantly shook him off and used his words against him, ”Don’t you think you’ve been gone too long?” He was taken aback from the way you spoke back to him. Sure you two had your arguments over the years which resulted in snappy remarks shot back and forth but when he heard the irritation in your voice, he was silenced immediately. “You’re not cheating on me are you?” he asked with some scorn in his voice but this made you even angrier. How could he even mention that in front of you? It drove you furious. But you couldn’t snap back as you did before. You just stared at him with sad eyes as the elevator doors opened. You walked inside but held the open button hoping that you would be able his face just that moment longer but he never turned around. “I’m sorry Jumin,” you apologised softly to his back. You let go of the button and saw the doors closing.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep our promise.”

He didn’t know what to do. He stood there silently still while the elevator doors closed behind him. This was the first time someone had left him without his consent. He didn’t know if he was furious or just confused. 

Was she cheating on me?

This thought played ping pong in his mind. One side was telling him that there was no way she would do that because she was so loyal but the other side was telling him that is was obvious she left him for another man. “This is unbelievable...” he whispered to himself, slouching on a nearby wall, ”Did she just leave me?” He replayed their last meeting over and over in his head but he couldn’t fathom the thought.

She would be back soon.

The days passed and there was no sign of you. His health had gotten worse. He couldn’t sleep at night without the warmth of someone next to him but he wouldn’t call anyone, even that woman he was spending so many nights with. He simply told her he wasn’t interested anymore.

In fact, he wasn’t interested in anything anymore.

He hadn’t been to work in days. Even Elizabeth couldn’t cure the darkness emanating in that penthouse room. Jumin just spent his days sat on the couch with empty wine bottles gradually erasing the space on the coffee table in front of him. His glass hadn’t been washed in days, nothing had been washed in days.

He was a complete mess.

He was lost without you.

He wasn’t bothered by the fact that you left him anymore, he just wanted you back. He wanted you to return to his side and had waited for you all this time. There was no more motivation to do anything so he just recounted the last moments he had with you. He still remembered the look on your face when you saw him. You looked surprised and confused but when he accused you of cheating, he remembered how your expression instantly changed.

You looked like you wanted to cry.

“Why did she want to cry?” he thought to himself, “She’s the one leaving me!” Your words finally echoed in his head as he tried to remember what promise you were apologising for.

Slamming down his last glass of wine, he got up in a rage. He wondered why you hadn’t returned yet but it didn’t matter anymore. He would venture out to find you and scold you for being unable to keep the promise. But in fact, he wanted to find you so he could apologise for his own inability to keep the promise he so ardently made.

Jumin didn’t know where he was running but he thought that if he ran to places where you two spent your days at your happiest, he would find you.

Eventually, he would find you right?

Places he had in mind were gradually being crossed off his mental list and at some point, he was just running. The night had arrived and the streets were practically empty. He couldn’t care about image anymore, he couldn’t care about time anymore. He just wanted to find you and for that purpose, he was willing to run without purpose.

Jumin ran past a woman with her head tilted downwards and with the sound of his name reaching his ears, he stopped instantly and turned around.

But she had disappeared.

He felt his heart drop and sensed that he had lost something at that moment. He found himself being unable to remember your smile and collapsed onto the ground. He suddenly began trying to wipe away tears, wondering to himself why he was suddenly crying.

Jumin’s phone started to ring over and over so eventually, he picked it up in frustration but when he heard Jaehee’s sobs over the phone somehow his anger dissipated.

Somehow, instantly he understood.

He would never be able to renew that promise ever again.

[bbparker]

Stars and Sweaters (Loki Laufeyson x Reader)

Summary: (Y/n) and Loki have been friends for awhile but it's the stars and receiving ugly sweaters for Christmas that seem to set things forward. 

A/N: So here's the beginning of my Christmas prompts and requests! TBH I don’t think this one was that good and its pure fluff. 

Words: 2.9k- not even sorry. 

Warnings: Little NSFW (like so tiny but its there) Pure fuckin’ fluff. 

Prompts: (Requested by Anon):

 - the stars always shine brightest in the presence of their own.

- Firstly, did you just set one of your presents on fire and secondly, can I join?

MASTERLIST ||  CHRISTMAS PROMPT LIST || REQUEST

(Gif belongs to @loptrlaufey )

Loki did not like a great many things, one of them very much being stuck on the Avengers compound; but when it came to celebrating mere mortal holidays, Loki nearly wanted to die. (Again) Everything suddenly became louder; the people, the music and especially (y/n). (Y/n) wasn’t just a person to Loki, she was the person for Loki. He met her when he was first sentenced to the Avengers compound and she appeared to be the only one who was quiet enough to tolerate the presence of. Not that (y/n) was shy, she just preferred to be silent until needed.

“Mind somewhere else, Laufeyson?” a soft voice came almost startling Loki. Almost. Turning his body in the seat under the window to find (Y/n) in his doorway, a book tucked under her arm. It was way too late for any normal person to be up, hence why Loki himself was awake; but (y/n) was always the one who was dead to the world by 10pm. Though here she stood in his doorway at 1:30am.

“Good morning (y/n). Are you alright?” She smiled softly and tiredly, strolling towards the bay window. She sat almost graceful as Loki would have and some part of his heart softened at her tender heart, drawn to the softness of life. He was the opposite, always getting difficult and angry at those around him; yet, something pulled him towards her. Made him kinder but only towards her.

“I’m okay Loki and I suppose it is morning, isn’t it?” Loki’s heart jumped at his name softly rolling from her lips. “Looking up to Loki, (y/n) found him staring at her almost as if trying to solve a puzzle. Shaking her head, (y/n) spoke up once again. “Do you mind if I stay here for a while? I can’t seem to sleep…” Loki merely nods, his gaze falling back to his book on literature.

The silence continued for an hour, the time reaching 2:30am when Loki finally looked up to see (y/n) wasn’t reading her book at all, in fact, she was gazing at the stars. Closing his book slowly Loki continued to look upon (y/n) with the starlight adorning her features. ‘She was almost a goddess, but obviously not one she still had some flaws on her skin and around her body’ Loki thought.

Following her gaze, Loki’s eyes widened. Now he knew she was staring, the stars seemed much brighter than usual. “Did you know Loki, -” His attention was stolen by a much brighter and beautiful creature beside him. One who outshone them all in her grace, her wit and her bravery. Oh yes, Loki had seen (y/n) on the battlefield and she was just as graceful fighting her way through the masses as she was reading at 1:30am in the morning. The first time he’d seen her during the invasion of New York, he almost regretted invading. Almost.

“Hmm?” He hummed in reply, realising he had not done so yet. Noticing he may have been staring too long, Loki moved his gaze back to the faraway lights of many realms. “Did you know that the stars always shine brightest in the presence of their own?” Taken aback by her poetic words that seemed to bloom from her very soul, Loki’s head snapped towards her but she was already looking at him. For the first time, Loki didn’t know what to say. Could she possibly be talking about him? No…. She couldn’t be.

“I see the way your smirk drops sometimes when you think nobody looking, the slight was your fists tighten when you're nervous. You don’t like to show people how you truly feel because you’re afraid they won’t care. So, instead, you think it’s better to close it up, hide it away and hope nobody notices. -” (Y/n) was about cut off by an angered Loki but he was unable to get a word in as her soft voice continued, looking back to the night sky.

“But I wanted to tell you that I noticed. That I care and I wouldn’t mind if you ever came to me with anything. I care for you Loki, which says a lot of things since you kind of invaded us a couple years ago. Talk about personal development.” She laughed lightly and finally had the courage to look back at Loki.  

His face held shock, mild anger and something akin to fondness. “I’m sorry if that was overwhelming, but what other way to get things off your mind than under the stars at 2:30 in the morning. I’ll just- “

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Pardon?”

“You’re asleep every night by latest 10pm, you get up at 6am every morning. You almost never differ from your schedule, yet you’re here with me. So why now, what’s changed that you’ve turned into a poet at this time of the morning?”

Glancing down at her fingers (y/n) crossed her legs on the couch, Loki still opposite her. “I-I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking…”

“About what, dare I ask?”

“This person. He’s wonderful and I feel like nobody fully understands me to the point he does-” As (y/n) continued, Loki’s hearing seemed to turn to ringing, he couldn’t hear her because all he could think was ‘she’d in love with someone else and I can do nothing. I’m a monster and monsters don’t love pretty girls, they destroy them.’ Realising his thoughts, Loki mentally shook himself and listened reluctantly to (y/n). “-he’s a bit annoying when he follows me sometimes but I secretly love it. The worst is, I’m nowhere near enough for him and- “

“Nonsense- “

Wide-eyed, (y/n) looked up to see Loki reading his book once more but he was obviously still listening. “I’m sorry?” “I said, nonsense. Anyone who can’t see you’re the gentle, passionate mortal you are then maybe mortals are in fact, not worthy of you.”

“Like Thor’s hammer?” A small smile slipped onto Loki’s book as he glanced up to see (y/n) smiling back at him. “That could be a correct analogy, yes.”

A small silence ensued as the two looked at each other, both glancing over one another features. “Could you ever lift Thor’s hammer? Are you worthy?” (Y/n) whispered as she leant forward; both parties knowing that she was in fact not referring to Mijolnir, Thor’s trusty hammer but rather herself. “No, I never could be after all my history.”  (Y/n) continued to lean forward, testing the waters and slowly but not too obviously, Loki began to lean as well. “Good thing I always thought history was overrated anyways.”  Finally begin unhappy with the pace, (y/n) reached out to Loki and pulled his lips down and onto hers. Both letting out a sigh of relief at the touch of each other. Lips slowly moved against each other as Loki moved his book to the side and lay his hands gently on her waist.

It seemed both had been anticipating and wanting this moment for quite a while and it was worth the wait as a euphoric feeling streamed through their blood. The kiss suddenly intensified, (y/n) pushing herself up so she was kneeling above him as he sat. Their lips never disconnecting. As (y/n) inched forward, Loki got the hint and sat back against the wall, pulling her by the hip and into his lap.

The kiss seemed to intensify once (y/n) was properly seated within his lap, groans leaving both of their lips. Loki pulled away slightly muttering breathlessly “what about the person you were thinking about?”

“It’s you, dumbass- “

“I am not a- “

Loki was cut off by (y/n)'s lips gracing his own and as if a jolt had run through his body, Loki grinds his hips slowly upwards into her heat. A gasp fell out of her mouth at the feeling and unsuspected movement.

Pulling away slowly, still with her eyes closed (y/n)'s lips lifted into a gentle smile before finally opening her eyes. The sight that greeted her was almost as beautiful as the one she’d seen upon entering his room; a book in his hand, one side of his hair tucked behind his ear, and the moon and stars shining so brightly on him in a urethral glow. Almost if just for him.

“Merry Christmas Loki.” She whispered, resting her forbad on his. Loki’s eyes widened slightly before he covered up his emotions. “Merry Christmas,” Loki whispered back just as lightly. On the inside, he was screaming. Today was Christmas and everyone would be in an overly cheery mood and be offering him hugs. Ridiculous.

——————————————

The morning came and with it came the loud irritating voice of Tony Stark. “Wake up or for anyone refusing to get up at a normal time, Clint I’m talking about you, be woke up with today’s special of ice water! Choose wisely!” A groan came from beside (y/n), reminding her that she wasn’t alone. “Good morning, Loki.” She whispered in her light tone, sitting up to peer down at him. “Good morning, love.” His morning voice struck you. Loki had always been this smooth person, smooth talking, smooth skin, smooth movements etc. But his morning voice crackles and runs deeper than ever. Raising a hand and placing it on his cheek, (y/n) lightly stroke it, occasionally pushing some of his hair off his face. Loki sat up on one elbow and brought his face to yours, unable to resist, she gave into his demand with no complaints. The kiss was slow a bit sloppy since they both woke up, but meaning all the same.

Three loud knocks came at the door, causing both people to groan and break their kiss. “MERRY DAY OF CHRISTMAS BROTHER! HAVE YOU AWOKEN?” Loki rolls his eyes and gets out of bed with no shirt on, only pants to cover him up. Last night it was a bit of a shock for 9y/n) to see any other parts of his body as he usually covered most of it up. It was lean but toned and she would be lying is she said she didn’t check him out as he walked towards the door. Swinging it open Thor was greeted with a shirtless Loki and a very tired looking (y/n). “Oh, you have company. Well then… GOOD DAY OF CHRISTMAS (Y/N)” Due to her exceptionally good mood, (y/n) let out a small giggle. Thor would always hold a soft spot in her heart, them usually being partnered up on missions and although he was loud, (y/n) didn’t mind his company.

When Thor left, (y/n) made a quick escape to her room, not after a quick kiss on Loki’s shoulder which left him a little star struck. She quickly showered and changed into her Christmas outfit for the day. Entering the main hall for dining, quite a big room so there’s room for all of them, (y/n) spotted Clint first before seeing Sam holed up in the corner of the lounge wrapped in blankets. “Shocking, two rare birds sighted in one sitting. Simply marvellous.” The fake British accent she put on only added to the humour as a loud laugh came from her right. Looking (y/n) found Steve Rogers attempting to somewhat hide his blush at his loud outburst.

Sam and Clint simply rolled their eyes making comments on how they refused to be woken up with ice water. When everyone finally arrived, with Loki being the last, standing next to (y/n), they began handing out gifts as per morning tradition. It seemed (y/n) and Loki were the only ones to fully get ready for the day, everyone simply arrived with pyjamas on and blankets wrapped around them. Tony began first, of course handing everyone little expensive things. Natasha, Wanda, Vision (who gifted everyone food because he thought what we needed, referred to our dietary needs). Most went before it was Steve’s turn, handing everyone drawings of the things they loved, knowing it would mean a lot more than just a crappy stir-bought present. Tony received one of him working on his Iron Man suit, Bruce got one of Tony and himself laughing together, Natasha got one of her and Steve in a car during a mission. So, when Steve handed (Y/n) a watercolour drawing of the night sky she nearly cried. How he had known about her love for the stars was strange but she loved it all the same.  “S-Steve? You drew this?”

Her smaller than usual tone drew the attention of Loki who looked over her shoulder at it. He couldn’t deny the art was mesmerising, haven been given one himself with a rather intimate photo drawn. It was the only present he’d received from the team, given they didn’t feel obliged to gift mass murderers, but Steve had known what it was like to be excluded and felt uncomfortable singling people out deliberately.  “Y-yeah, I always saw you star gazing so I figured-” The Captain was cut off by a large force hitting him and then squeezing. (Y/N) wasn’t a person who always openly went for affection (unless it’s from Loki of course) and the fact she was hugging him, made Steve blush slightly. The blush on Loki’s cheeks was the complete opposite. Loki couldn’t figure out the feeling until he thought about last night’s actions; he was very jealous. You were his and he had never enjoyed sharing.

When (y/n) finally released Steve, (y/n) sat back down on the floor with Loki. Seeing the look on his face, (y/n) slid her hand over to his one resting on his knee. Putting her hand over his and waited for him to turn and look him in the eyes. When he finally did, Loki saw only fondness and caring eyes reflecting at him. Only for him. His jealousy quickly died down.  Thor was up next and booming laughter entered the room with his gifts, all slightly ridiculous. Natasha received a toaster or ‘fire in a box’ that can melt all the substances and Sam received a train timetable and sunglasses. “You always seem so close to the sun flying around, so I thought why not protect your eyes Son of Wilson.”  Thor was only met with mumbles of “sure Thor” When Thor got to 9y/n) he gave her a wink and handed her a present, (y/n) opened it to find the ugliest sweater of all. “I. Absolutely. LOVE IT! Thanks, Thor.” Maybe it was the Christmas spirit or maybe it was the fact she had Loki all to herself finally but (Y/n) had almost shouted her words at Thor, almost scaring him. Loki smirked at (y/n) before opening his present, causing his smile to drop. Inside was an identical ugly Christmas sweater only green where (y/n) was red. “I’m not wearing this ghastly thing.” “Thor, you got us matching sweaters? Cute.”

Loki looked up to (y/n) in disbelief but only to be met with her pulling the silly sweater over her head. Finally turning to Loki, “Are you going to put it on or not?” Seeing Loki’s reluctance, (y/n) smirked devilishly. Loki’s heart beaten hard and fast at the sight, it was simply perfection to see her mischievous face… yet he was quite interested in what she had planned. (Y/n) took the sweater form Loki’s hands and folded it nicely in her lap. “That’s fine if you don’t want to wear it-” Loki breathed out in relief, still suspicious. “I’ll just ask Steve to wear it, he loves ugly sweaters, its actually how we bond really-” The sweater was suddenly ripped out of her lap and shrugged over Loki’s shoulders. It was a bit baggy but (y/n) loved it all the same. Shuffling closer (y/n) kissed his cheek before turning his head with her hand to give a light kiss on the lips.

A gasp came from across the room. “Since when?!” Tony pointed at the two, obviously so close that it was obvious what had happened. The Avengers turned and most didn’t look shocked. “You are too blind,” Wanda states towards Tony.

—————

It was late at night, after dinner when (y/n) noticed Loki hadn’t been seen for a while. Wandering through the halls and even checking his room, (y/n) couldn’t seem to locate the god. Passing Thor, she quickly asked if he knew where Loki was. “Last time I saw my brother he was on the main balcony.” Saying thanks, (y/n) rushed off and when she arrived at the main balcony, she found Loki standing in front of a small fire. Not remembering ever having a fire pit there, she ventured closer to see what was burning. Realising what it was, she laughed finally gaining the attention of Loki who was decent enough to look slightly guilty.

“Firstly, did you just set one of your presents on fire and secondly, can I join?” Loki smirked and opened his arms inviting her out. Sliding the sweater off herself, she throws it into the fire watching it burn. Loki then grabbed her hand and pulled her into him, nose to nose. “But I thought you loved your sweater darling?” “It comes in pairs, Loki. Nobody wears just a one half. Sort of like you and me. We can’t have one without the other anymore.” Loki’s mischievous green eyes turned soft and he lightly kissed her before laying his forehead on hers. “I guess so.”

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[anilbisht]

Singapore – Truly A Systematic City!

With the onset of summer vacations, traveler inside you begins to spring up in excitement, pushing you hard to go for a much-awaited and much-needed family holiday break. So, this June of 2018, I travelled to Singapore and Bali. I will be writing about my Singapore experience first, and Bali later, separately.

The moment I landed at Changi airport - world’s best airport for the last six years in a row - I could see the care for hygiene, cleanliness, tidiness and best of it: a very fast and efficient immigration clearance process; wherein everything is electronically done, nothing manual – like passport is scanned, visa bar codes captured, photo clicked and thumb impression taken on a screen and, voila you are good to go! With only handbags on us, which I normally always do – one handbag for each individual - it took us all merely 15 minutes to complete immigration and exit the airport.  We entered the city in a nice, clean and gleaming sedan, which our travel agent had arranged for our pick-up.

As we drove through the city to our hotel at Cavenagh and Orchard Road intersection, the infrastructure and the impeccable city development is the foremost thing which clearly stands-out and attracts most of your attention. As we approached our hotel, we spotted the famous Singapore Flyer - the giant flyer wheel, from a distance – an amazing sight.

The roads are so smooth much like a skating surface – no potholes, no bumps and no rough ride. Road markings and patterns for navigation are also very clear thus enabling a disciplined and safe driving for everyone. Same thing applies to the pedestrians too; paths for them to cross or walk along are separately laid out. In fact, what caught my rapt attention was people using their personal mobility machines – the unicycle scooter - like the Segway and riding it through on their earmarked walkways or walk strips.  

Lane driving and maintaining a safe distance is a given; and strictly no honking, seriously, unless any emergent situation demands, which makes the city driving secure, comfortable and devoid of any cacophony on the road. For all of us, from India, it was quite an intriguing experience to see all the vehicles cruising past so fast, and in their respective lanes, so quietly! And, not just this, you will hardly see any traffic cop or police on the roads or for that matter anywhere in the city. Our tour guide told us that the country is all about system, orderliness, rules and regulation. In a lighter vein, pointing to a CCTV camera, he said that these cams are installed in every nook and corner of the city, and in every sense, these cameras are our real boss – constantly keeping an eye on not just traffic but public too.

In fact, to my greater understanding, people-at-large too have a tremendous level of civic sense and therefore the system is mutually respondent, dependent, respectful and successful. The city is so clean and tidy that you will not find even an iota of trash anywhere.

The city is equally concerned about the environment too. It is not only clean but also kept super green as well; you will not see any exposed soil, dust or land openings but with only landscaped green tops, shrubberies and vertical gardens, which are watered every night without fail. No wonder the city is kept and maintained so well that it is absolutely immaculate, pollution-free and dust-free with clear blue skies in all seasons. The air quality is simply superb! If you don’t believe me, check the Air Quality Index (AQI) on your own, it will tell throw open the data and fact-based story about the air cleanliness of Singapore – truly clean on surface, clear in the air!

Life in the city is quite fast and always on the move, and despite living in speed, it is much in order and with much better living standard. Wherever you go, everything is in a flow, no chaos at all. While on sightseeing tours, I never faced any snarls or bumper-to-bumper traffic; and as I shared earlier, all the vehicles just keep moving, at a braking distance, following lane discipline and road markings and halt areas, in absolute true spirit.

While in every sense, Singapore is impeccable, I felt it a little bit clinical and cold in the heart! That human-connect, emotions, meet-and-greet and warmth was a bit missing in general – absolute and sheer professionalism! If you are not there at the scheduled time of pickup, chances are the driver will leave you behind and will not wait – such is the fast-paced life the city offers. Most of the services are automated, even in the hotels, as I was informed that workers are very difficult to get in Singapore.

To share an experience in context, the drinking water machine installed in our hotel room had some issue in dispensing the hot water, so I called the manager for solution and I asked him to send someone up in my room. He politely told me to come down to reception for a demo of the machine! I was a little surprised to hear the response but then I went down and the manager took me through a manual as to how to operate the machine correctly. Okay, I told him, but this thing I have already done and then he said unconvincingly, “okay, I will accompany you right now and show you the demo in your room”.  I told him that you are the manager-on-duty of a prominent hotel, send some staff and he responded back – “we don’t have staff at this hour” - and it was just 10pm – and then he explained rather justified to me that it is very hard to get staff/workers here in Singapore. He tried to fix it but in vain and, with a quirky look, left saying he will try to get hold of some engineer! Fortunately, as soon as he left, the machine started to work on its own automatically! Voila, now I could enjoy a hot cup of coffee, which I was craving for after a daylong city excursion, and go to bed for a sound sleep!  And, later I informed him and he was happy to hear that, as he now no longer had to arrange for an engineer!

Let me now share my wonderful experience of the city tour and the various attractions of tourist interest especially the amusement parks. City tour was the first one in our itinerary, and thankfully, our hotel was very well located, especially for this part of our tour as all the attractions were in its close vicinity.

We were picked-up in the morning from the hotel lobby and driven straight to the Singapore Flyer. Our tourist guide was an amazing guy, though I have forgotten his name but he had a unique persona especially his neck-long hairs and narration style – the blunt cut which normally ladies have – suited him really well. Carrying a Spiderman toy in his hand for identification, he kept us informed and entertained by sharing anecdotes and interesting facts about the city.  He probed us as to why Singapore passport is most sought after and why the world’s high-and-mighty enthusiastically seek country’s citizenship? People kept guessing but then he told us that the Singapore is the only passport which gives visa-free access to about 180 countries in the world. And, then people look for country’s citizenship for its systems and order and the free market economy. There are many India Singaporeans and also quite a few Indians who work here. In fact, there is a much happening and vibrant district called ‘Little India’ on the Serangoon Road, aptly named for being a majority Indian community area and also for its various Indian food joints and clothing. Mustafa Shopping Centre is also very famous among the Indians and is always buzzing with mainly Indians for shopping anything and everything at bargain prices and alluring offers.

There are also many Hindu temples which dots the city at multiple places, especially Little India. Among Indian languages, Tamil is taught at school level in Singapore. He also informed us that Singapore doesn’t produce anything locally, everything, including drinking water, is imported. Natural resources are scarce and virtually non-existent, drinking water also amongst them. There is no industry, no agriculture in Singapore. Interesting, no? And, despite such limitations, Singapore is so developed, advanced and world class – truly a remarkable achievement on its part and its people. Credit must go to Singapore’s first and founding Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew, the man who believed that - “The Impossible Can Happen”. In fact, I had once seen a documentary on him and I was so impressed with his ways of work and the work ethics especially zero tolerance on corruption, vision and transformational thoughts – indeed a man on a mission! And, today, the Singapore we see, is all courtesy to the legend and a visionary, the man with the mettle - Lee Kuan Yew, also famously referred to as LKY.  

Coming back to the city tour, if you wish to experience a birds-eye-view of Singapore atop a giant wheel, boarding the Singapore Flyer is a must: to see the amazing peaks of modernity from all corners. The Flyer gives you – a 360 degree – panoramic and absorbing view of the maximum city. This giant wheel is a marvellous piece of engineering, and has multiple air-conditioned-see-through-capsules for its riders, with a seating capacity of about a dozen. One revolution is completed in about 40 minutes and the capsules reaches to a maximum elevation of 165 meters at the top. From the Flyer, you will see the seaside, Flower Domes, Gardens by the Bay, Art and Science Museum, towering Marina Bay Sands Hotel capped with the Infinity pool at the top, Commercial Business District skyline, bridges and flyovers and a fading glimpse of the renowned Merlion Park. View from the Flyer is stunning and truly mesmerising, which is even better in the night when everything is electrified, bright and colourfully lit-up, enabling the entire integration of the city attractions to come alive beautifully in its full glory, glow and glitter – a fantastic treat to the eyes!

And, then, who has not seen, whether in person or in media, the world famous and most recognisable and prominent face of Singapore, known as its mascot - The Merlion – a large sculpted statue with a lion’s face and with a body of a fish – spouting a long jet-stream of water from its mouth. The place is known as The Merlion Park and is quite popular among the visitors; in fact, visit to Singapore is incomplete without posing for a picture with the Merlion in the background. Tourist throng to this park and get themselves clicked, especially in trick poses, from the viewing deck in front of the statue – it appears in the picture as if the spouted water is falling straight into one’s open mouth. We too had clicked many such happy pictures, tricked ones and otherwise, with Merlion, and also with three-towered Marina Bay Sands Hotel and the cityscape in the background. The park also offers boat-ride over the Singapore river and also houses several high-end restaurants and eateries to dine-in.  

In the later half, we visited the Sentosa Island. Our guide informed us that the Island derived its name from the Sanskrit word ‘Santosha’ which means satisfaction or complete or be content. Sentosa is an island resort which can be accessed by road or cable car. We took the one-way cable car and de-boarded on the second station of the Island. During the time you are airborne, the birds-eye view down below and across the Cable Car is simply superb. The Cable Car smoothly crosses over a bridge, over the sea, the water world and other parts of the Island.

There are several rides in Sentosa which can be immensely enjoyed by everyone. We also enjoyed several rides and then took the Island bus to go to the Sea Aquarium - the most visited and sought-after attraction in Sentosa. The open passages around Sea Aquarium are dotted with several shops, eateries and fine dining restaurants. I must say that the air-conditioned Aquarium is huge and is your window to see and experience the marine life much closely, in true sense. Behind the mighty glass-walled aquariums and showcases, rests the sea world, which as you pass through the internal corridors, will offer you an intimate and deep peek into the ocean ecosphere.

Multitude and variety of fish, sharks, sting-rays, starfish, turtles, jellyfish, sea-horse, hammer-fish and many more can be seen swimming freely to their delight. In one of the enclosures, for the first time I saw the tiniest and colourful frogs – red, yellow, black – which were kept in rain soaked tropical habitat. The frogs looked stunningly bright and beautiful which I had never seen before, throbbing with life. And mind you, while these tiny creatures appear bright and beautiful but are known to be quite poisonous, and rightly so these creatures are called Poison Dart Frog! Underwater ecosystem on display also has forms of corals, reefs and other formations.

Atmosphere inside the Aquarium is ecstatic and is soaked in blue, the essential colour of the ocean. As you reach the last showcase, which is also the point of return, has a large rectangular, wall-to-wall, aquarium on display.  Visitors can be seen occupying their space on the floor right in front of this aquarium – sitting or lay down, lazing around, relaxing and getting mesmerised with the sea world on display behind the huge glass screen. After spending a bit of time here, we took an about turn from this last exhibit, and on our way out, we anxiously and gently touched and felt a star-fish, which was quietly resting on a reef! The gentle touch felt like a rub on a very rough and stony surface: that is the real texture of the skin of star-fish. Our visit to the Sea Aquarium was truly delightful and it will remain etched in our memory for long.

So, after an hour-long sight of the aquarium, we took a break, ate a bit and leisured on the Sentosa Island beach before heading for our next attraction: the grand night super show – Wings of Time - set on the beach itself with an unending open sea in the backdrop. The show is a spectacular fusion of pyrotechnics, fountains and water jets, 3D projection, laser beams, sound effects and riveting music. The show - amidst the razzmatazz of the sound and light - takes you through a deeply touching story of friendship of a mythical bird, Shahbaz and the human characters - Rachel and Felix - beautifully weaved and projected on a giant-rocky-zigzag-shaped screen erected on the shore, in the shallow sea.  The show ends with much fanfare and lofty fireworks. An amazing show, truly a visual and musical treat to the eyes and ears! A must-watch in Sentosa Island, it perfectly wraps up the day with much happiness and in awe.

Next Day, it was time for a daylong fun and entertainment at the much-famed world over theme park – The Universal Studios, which is truly universal in its appeal and amusement for everyone’s interest. The studio lies within Sentosa Island and is in the vicinity of the Sea Aquarium. Sky had opened and there were intermittent showers in the morning hour but then the overcast conditions settled down quickly and the dark clouds floated fast elsewhere. Even before the opening time of 10am, there was already a rush at the entry gates, but all the visitors had aligned themselves in their respective queues, well behaved, disciplined and in order. Outside the studio, a huge revolving spherical globe is installed with swoosh of large white coloured fonts of UNIVERSAL STUDIOS encircling with a tilt like the Saturn ring in the space.  Everyone, who visits here, will certainly, and happily, pose in front of this iconic globe shaped mascot of Universal Studios and click pictures in volumes.    

As we swiped our tickets and entered the supreme world of Universal Studio, the excitement begun to multiply exponentially, flowing with the flow – and why not as we had the entire day to explore and experience the Studio offerings.  The studio offers a wide range of state-of-the-art rides, live stunt shows, street entertainment, dinosaurs, 4D shows, movie making with Steven Spielberg’s Light-Camera-Action, 360-degree rollercoaster, Jurassic Park Rapids and many more amusements and attractions: full of fun, frolic and the thrills! And of course, with easy availability of much-needed food, beverages and refreshments options aplenty, the Studio comes alive for the entertainment of the taste buds and stomach too! The Studio is great for shoppers too offering multiple shopping options for a variety of goods, memorabilia and the merchandise alike.  

Among the attractions which prominently stands out, especially from my experience, are - The Revenge of the Mummy, Transformers 4D Ride, Shrek 4D Movie, The Water World Live Stunt Show, Rapids, Light Camera Action and the 360-Degree Rollercoaster.  

The Revenge of the Mummy ride welcomes you with gigantic warrior statues - coloured in black and grey-golden standing tall, firm and mighty - on either side of its entrance. On board the circular cart inside, it takes you through a storyline about the Mummies with an exhilarating ride which has many moods and motions, it - rotates, revolves, speeds, shocks and moves backward, forward, sideways with sudden starts-stops, accelerations, shakes and also sprinkles water for bugs effect - and passes through an amazing gallery of an audio-visual journey with a mesmerising surround sound which will certainly leave you in complete awe and impact. A thrilling experience which one cannot miss once being inside! Outside, one can see the traces of Ancient Egypt; with structures, statues and ruins recreated for a real feel of that era gone by.

A similar ride experience, with much more and superior shakes and shocks, comes alive once you get into the Transformers 4D, wherein the Transformer is trying to save you from the rampaging evils to the safety of your life. The Transformer experience will leave you spellbound. Shrek-4D movie is also an enthralling watch as you go through the emotions and motions by feeling the jerks and bumps sitting on a cushy chair inside the movie hall. And, finally, ride the high speed 360-Degree rollercoaster only if you have a strong heart and don’t fear the super speedy sudden wavering falls and upside-down-revolutions and the equally momentous and swift forward movements, this ride will surely give you the never before adrenaline rush! Spielberg’s Light-Camera-Action is also a must visit to see how special effects and sound creates the incredible scene of Category-5 hurricane hitting the New York city – truly an amazing way of movie making: shooting hurricane like situation and devastation inside a film studio, appears so real on the screen!

By 6pm, we were done with almost all the rides and visit to the various attractions. On our way out, we saw a bit of Dinosaurs act being played out in the open stage inviting children from among the public, to experience the Dino up there closer to the giant raptor in action. It was indeed a fun filled and an enjoyable day for all of us.

Overall, Singapore offers a clean and a systematic city, great food, lovely airport, clear roads, neat and efficient transport, modern habitats, hotels, shopping, entertainment and attractions for everyone.  And, if you are flying SQ, I mean Singapore Airlines, which is world’s best airline, then it’s really an icing on the cake – you are assured of a wonderful service onboard too!

We take away with us a bagful of happy and lasting memories from Singapore - the country which allures all, for a ball!

Keep shining Singapore!

© Anil Bisht anilbisht@rediffmail.com

for more pics:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/anilbisht https://www.instagram.com/anil_bisht_/

Gardens by the Bay

City view from the Singapore Flyer

The Flyer Capsules with its riders and city in the backdrop

Singapore skyline from the Flyer

City view from the Singapore Flyer

City view from the Singapore Flyer

The Art and Science Museum, clicked from the Flyer!

Hotel Marina Bay Sands on one side and the city skyline on the right

Commercial Business District

Commercial Business District skyline

Bridges and the roads right beneath the Flyer

The pride of a Lion, a statue inside the Universal Studios

The castle and the Shrek 4D, Universal Studios

The glowing Sentosa underground parking and pickup-drop bay

Colourful stain glass flowers adorn a park inside Sentosa

The warriors guards the ancient Egypt - The Return of Mummy, Universal Studios

The revolving Universal Studio Globe

Art sculpted out of cardboard paper, Changi Airport

The decked up elephants at one of the city crossings

Flower Domes

The colourful candies hangs outside the m store at Sentosa

Shade for the public appears like a lamp-shade! Sentosa

The Singapore Flyer from a distance with Marina Bay Sands Hotel and Science Museum in the backdrop

The Singapore Flyer - the giant wheel with Capsules on the outer!

Another side of the cityscape from the Flyer

The Merlion with Marina Bay in the backdrop

The city skyline from the Merlion Park

Spouting Merlion from another angle

The Merlion from another angle

The Singapore river waters and the three towers of Marina Bay Sands Hotel

Boat ride on the waters of Singapore river

The mascot of Singapore - The imposing sculpted statue of The Merlion

The Cable Car ride to the Sentosa Island

The sharks in the Sea Aquarium, Sentosa

The sharks floating around the walk-tunnel inside the Sea Aquarium

Sea life inside the Aquarium, Sentosa

Sea life inside the Aquarium, Sentosa

Sea life inside the Aquarium, Sentosa

Sea life inside the Aquarium, Sentosa

Sea life inside the Aquarium, Sentosa

Sea life inside the Aquarium, Sentosa

Sea life inside the Aquarium, Sentosa

The Wings of Time show, Sentosa

The Wings of Time Show, Shahbaz the mythical bird appears on the screen

The Ancient Egypt recreated, Universal Studios

A giant tree made of concrete inside Universal Studios

The illuminated decorations with marigold, Changi Airport

[taexual]

GOT7 / Being their favorite YouTube gamer

Request: Hi! Could you write a mark tuan’s scenario? Please? the s/o being his favorite YouTuber she’s a gamer and love overwatch? Something like that. 🌼  

I did this request with all of the members, hope you don’t mind! Thank you for requesting this and please enjoy!

Mark

Mark absolutely freaked out and let his nerdy side show when he saw that you have uploaded a new video to your YouTube gaming channel. He immediately found his headphones, so as not to disturb anyone else, and played the video. However, as soon as he saw that you were playing Overwatch in this new video, he threw the headphones off.

“Jinyoung!” he yelled, sprinting across the dorm. “Y/n just uploaded a new video! It’s Overwatch!”

Jinyoung raised his head from his laptop to look at Mark’s excited face.

“I’ll only watch it with you if you promise not to get jealous of her teammates who, I assume, will be guys,” Jinyoung warned him.

“I will never promise such a stupid thing,” Mark said, sitting down on Jinyoung’s bed. “But you’re still watching it with me.”

Jinyoung sighed heavily and proceeded to watch the video with Mark as he ooh-ed and ahh-ed at every kill you made in the game.

JB

It was 2am. He had to do a concert in eight hours, so he was preparing to go to bed, but as he was brushing his teeth in the hotel bathroom, he heard his phone go off, indicating a new notification.

With the toothbrush still in his mouth, he walked back to his bedroom and picked his phone up. He almost swallowed the toothpaste once he realized that you had uploaded a new gaming video to YouTube.

After quickly rinsing his mouth, he jumped into bed and turned the video on. He only realized that the video was over an hour long when he yawned for the first time, twenty minutes into the video.

Although he realized that he’d probably be grumpy in the morning since he wouldn’t get enough sleep, he still chose to watch your video until the end, simply not being able to turn it off, and not just because you were playing LoL, but also because your team was kicking everyone’s asses and JB couldn’t stop smiling proudly.

Jackson

As soon as you mentioned you’d do a Twitch livestream in your YouTube video, Jackson had set a reminder so he wouldn’t miss it.

Once you started the livestream, he shooed the members out of his bedroom so he could watch you play Overwatch in peace.

“How about you also take notes,” Youngjae commented, on his way out of Jackson’s room. “So next time you wouldn’t cause our team to lose five seconds into the game.”

“How about you get out and leave me alone,” Jackson shot back, not looking away from the screen of his laptop.

“I never realized how annoying Jackson was,” Youngjae said half-jokingly.

“He’s only like that when it comes to watching Y/n’s videos,” JB answered him. “Get out of his way whenever she posts a new one.”

Jinyoung

Jinyoung wasn’t really a big fan of YouTube gaming channels, so the fact that he passionately loved yours was surprising to him, too.

One time, when he was watching you play DotA at full volume, thinking he was alone in the dorm, at least three members barged inside of his room with confused faces.

Surprised by this, Jinyoung raised his head from his laptop.

“Oh, we thought you were playing DotA,” BamBam said, a little disappointed.

“Hold on,” Mark said, walking into the room to look at Jinyoung’s laptop. “Is that Y/n? I love her videos!”

And he sat down on Jinyoung’s bed without saying anything else, ready to watch the video with him.

“Um, excuse me,” Jinyoung glared at him. “I don’t remember giving you permission to watch her videos with me. Or to even speak about her. Find your own favorite YouTuber.”

Youngjae

He was watching a compilation done by fans that consisted of your best gaming moments. And this wasn’t even the first compilation he’d watched. More like the fifth or sixth.

The other members were seriously starting to become concerned with his obsession.

“Wouldn’t you rather be playing the actual game instead of just watching someone else play it?” Yugyeom had asked him about it.

“Nope,” Youngjae answered quickly.

“Then answer honestly,” Yugyeom pushed. “Are you watching it because you like Y/n or because you like the games she plays?”

Youngjae actually thought about this for a moment. “Both. The ultimate goal of my life is to play something with her.”

BamBam

BamBam started to play Overwatch at 10pm and he had promised himself he’d only play one match. But it was already 3am and he was still playing.

And he would have kept playing, but one of his teammates sent a text that caught his attention.

“How ironic is it that Y/n (the youtube gamer in case you didn’t know) just uploaded an Overwatch video to her YT lol”

This was the ultimate sign to stop playing. BamBam impatiently tapped his foot all through this last match before he turned the game off and instead turned your new YouTube video on.

“Did BamBam stop playing just so he could watch Y/n play the same game?” one of his previous teammates texted.

“This boy has his priorities right,” another teammate replied.

Yugyeom

Yugyeom wasn’t sure if there was anything he hated more than horror games. He was relieved to finally find a YouTube gamer who hated them as much as he did.

However, due to a high demand, you were forced to film a video of yourself playing Five Nights at Freddy’s. And due to the fact that Yugyeom has never missed a single video you uploaded, he was forced to watch it.

“Alright,” he announced to the other members after he packed enough ammunition – hot chocolate and cookies – and was about to retreat to his room. “I’m going to do this.”

“Do what?” JB asked, confused about the whole situation.

“I’m going to watch Y/n play Five Nights at Freddy’s,” Yugyeom announced as the rest of the members cheered on him.

“You don’t have to watch it if you don’t like horr—”

“You don’t understand,” Yugyeom cut JB off before he could finish. “I have to watch it. It’s Y/n. I have no doubt that she can make me like horror games.”

credits go to the original owners of the gifs

You can leave your requests here!

[ncislaficexchange]

Blackmail is Such an Ugly Word

A/N: Dear reader, I hope you enjoy this fic. Please know that a lot of love, frustration and often confusion went into this story. Based on your preferences I focused on Densi (and Deeks), but also the team as friends to both Kensi and Deeks. I hope you won’t mind my creative interpretation of your preferences. It was done with the very best of intentions.

This story occurs about six months from the season eight finale. Happy reading!

***

Kensi raises an eyebrow, catching Deeks’ gaze as he sidles into the mission, once again just a few minutes short of being late. His lips twitch in what she supposes is meant to be a smile, but it turns into more of a grimace. The twisted feeling in her stomach amps up another notch with each step he takes.

“Cutting it a little short, aren’t we, Deeks?” Callen observes mildly though his gaze is just as focused on the detective. She makes an effort to look away which is difficult given Deeks’ exhausted appearance, his posture slumped in a way that spells defeat. If not for the presence of Sam and Callen she’d be pulling him into her arms as she does every night when he returns home.

“Yeah, my mom is, uh, having some issues with her landlord and asked me for some advice,” Deeks says distractedly. Technically it’s true, though that particular call had come three days ago at 10pm rather than this morning.

“I didn’t know your license was current,” Sam comments, as though he has an actual interest in discussing Deeks’ former career. Kensi wonders just how much they know since neither he nor Callen has called them on the strange schedule Deeks is keeping of late or the guilt she knows is lurking in the back of their eyes.  

“I’m afraid Deeks’ extracurricular activities will have to wait,” Eric announces, arriving at the top of the stairs and cutting Deeks’ reply short. He hooks a thumb behind him, pulling a face. “You’re needed in OPS.”

As the others make their way upstairs, Kensi pulls Deeks to the side, giving him a concerned look.

“What happened? You were gone all night again,” she hisses. The chance that Hetty might materialize behind them at any moment has her glancing around nervously. If she doesn’t end up with an ulcer by the end of this whole mess, she it will be a miracle.

Deeks heaves a sigh, closing his eyes briefly as he shakes his head.

“I’ll tell you later,” he murmurs, his voice just as low as Kensi’s though it appears to be due to exhaustion rather than fear of discovery. Kensi cants her head, questioning his decision to be silent; he’s been pretty good about filling her in and she really doesn’t want him to start hiding things again. “It’s not that,” Deeks adds quickly, seeing her look. “It’s just getting a lot more complicated than I thought it would, which is saying something, and I don’t have the time to explain it now.”

“Is there a problem, Miss Blye?” They both school their expressions as Hetty’s voice drifts down from above though Kensi’s certain that the older woman isn’t fooled in the least.

“No, we’re coming,” Deeks answers for both of them. “I just wanted to tell Kensi about Monty’s vet appointment.” As far as excuses go, it’s fairly believable; Monty has had his share of ill health in the last few months. At the very least it’s better than chronic plumbing problems. Hetty merely accepts it with a slight nod of her head, waiting for them to start up the steps.

***

“We can’t keep this up,” Kensi says in a low voice an hour later. Feeling ridiculously covert, she checks over her shoulder once more before following Deeks into the burn room. Deeks comes to rest against the nearest available surface, his posture slumping again as he brings both hands to his eyes and lets out an unsteady breath. In an instant Kensi’s irritation is gone with the obvious distress she sees in every fiber of his body.

“Baby,” she murmurs and closes the small distance between them to wrap her arms around his broader frame. After a moment’s hesitation she feels his arms lift and settle on her back, his head lowering until his nose is burrowed in her neck. Keeping a soothing rhythm Kensi gently runs her fingers over his muscles, feeling a collection of knots that are courtesy of the ridiculous amount of tension he’s been under recently. His ribs are slightly more prominent as she slides her hands up his sides and along with the loser fit of his clothes, it’s just another item on her list of worries.

“I’m sorry about this,” he says into her neck. “I know I keep saying it, but I never wanted you to have to deal with this crap.” Placing a hand on his jaw, she lifts his head and makes sure she has his full attention before she speaks.

“I want you to stop apologizing because this is not your fault,” she says firmly, punctuating the statement with a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah, but if I hadn’t told Whiting–” he begins miserably. It’s an argument that Kensi has heard far too many times to count in the last few months and she treats it with the same level of import as always.

“Deeks, it’s not your fault that Whiting is an opportunistic, blackmailing hag.” Deeks blows out a shaky breath that might just have a hint of a laugh at her unbiased summation. “The point is that you saved her life and told her the truth. And if she can’t see that you’re an honorable man who was just trying to protect a vulnerable girl, then there’s something wrong with her.” Deeks nods, looking even more overwhelmed by her unfailing support.

“Now, I’m not saying that things wouldn’t be a lot easier if you hadn’t told her…” she continues, eliciting the closest thing she’s seen to a grin from him in a long time.

“Yeah, next time I’ll have to remember that,” he says almost playfully. “I love you,” he adds. Lifting a hand, he mirrors her own position, carefully cradling Kensi’s jaw as he brings their lips together.

“I love you too,” Kensi breathes against his lips, slipping a hand up his neck and into the hair curling around the edge of his collar. He’s never let it get this long since she’s known him and though she doesn’t exactly hate it, she can’t help but associate it with his current predicament.

Abandoning all pretense, Kensi tugs at Deeks’ arm, leading them farther into the room until her back hits an unknown piece of equipment. Deeks presses his body tight against hers, his weight welcome after the uncertainty of the night apart. She moans slightly as Deeks angles his head to deepen the kiss and drops a hand to her hip.

The creak of the door opening stills Deeks’ hand which had been slowly creeping towards the edge of her bra.

“I bet they’re in here.” Callen’s voice says, his head popping around the door. “Ha, told you they wouldn’t be in the showers,” he adds to whoever is on the other side of the door before taking in the still embracing couple in front of him.

“I thought you guys had a rule,” he says with vague interest as he and Sam, closely followed by Nell and Eric trail through the door.

“Didn’t really work out for us,” Deeks explains as Kensi gives him one last squeeze and steps back slightly. She keeps one arm low on his back, silently supporting him.

“Right. So you want to tell us what’s going on? Cause I gotta tell you, Sam’s not taking all the secrecy too well.”

“I wasn’t the one who wanted to show up at their house at 12:30 AM when and I quote ‘their guard will be down’ and demand answers,” Sam says irritably. Rolling her eyes, Nell cuts in before either of the older agents can continue their bickering.

“What they’re trying to say, and doing a really bad job of it, I might say, is that we’re worried and we want to know what’s going on. So, who wants to start before Hetty actually comes looking for us?”

“It’s personal and doesn’t need to affect anyone else here,” Deeks answers shortly. Withholding a sigh of exasperation, because she knows he’s just doing what he thinks is best, Kensi squeezes Deeks’ hand briefly until he looks down at her.

“We should tell them,” she says, ignoring the four pairs of curious eyes watching them with various levels of suspicion and interest.

“Kens, you know they can’t get involved in this.” Deeks nods his head in the rest of the team’s direction as he speaks. “No offense, but subtlety isn’t really NCIS’ strong point. And I really don’t need you guys rushing in with guns blazing.”

“Ok, first of all, I personally am very offended,” Callen says, earning another eye roll, this time from Sam. “Second, when has going solo ever worked for any of us?” There is an overabundance of agreement to Callen’s comment, particularly from Sam who seems to have forgotten his own forays into rogueness. Even if we can’t be directly involved, at least will know why you look like you’ve gone one-on-one with a character from The Walking Dead.”

“I do not look that bad,” Deeks mutters, as though it’s the relevant part of the conversation.

“Your eyes have been bloodshot for a week,” Callen rebuts remorselessly. Behind him, Sam makes an irritated noise, pushing past the others so he’s standing directly in front of Kensi and Deeks.

“Deeks, we all know you can counter-argue in your sleep, but why don’t you just make it easy on everyone and spill? Callen’s right, you are exhausted. Maybe it’s not effecting you yet, but the way you’ve been overextending yourself is gonna get you hurt. So just tell us what’s going on with LAPD.” Nell makes a harsh hissing sound.

“You weren’t supposed to mention that,” she murmurs as though she won’t be heard from three feet away.

“You’ve been spying on Deeks,” Kensi says flatly. She shares a glance with her partner who looks equally ticked off at the prospect. No matter their good intentions, they should have known that following Deeks would not go down well. Nell merely shrugs her minute shoulders. As if to say, ‘what did you expect?’

“Well, both of you really,” Eric adds helpfully. “You see, we didn’t know if both you were involved or just Deeks.”

“Awesome,” Deeks mutters under his breath. Kensi gently squeezes his hand again, reminding him that he’s not alone in this. She knows how much he wanted to keep his dealings with Whiting a secret and fears the repercussions if any one of them knows too much or became involved.

“If you still don’t feel like telling us,” Callen begins in an offhand tone, “we can always go to Bates and ask him what’s going on,” Kensi glares at Callen, angry that he would threaten Deeks, when he’s feeling so cornered and overwhelmed.

“Yeah, and I’ll let slip who really knocked over that rare plant Hetty has in her office,” Deeks says after a moment, not to be outdone in the blackmail department. Grabbing Deeks’ shoulder, Kensi turns him so their bodies are facing away from the others, giving the illusion of privacy.

“Deeks, we need to tell them something or they’re not going to give up,” she murmurs. Deeks instantly tenses up as expected, giving her a look of betrayal. “We knew it might come to this. And imagine the trouble they could cause if they think their helping somehow, but only end up making it worse?”  

He sighs, the sound short and exhaustive, running a hand through his hair and turns back to glance at the four people openly watching their every move. Kensi catches Sam’s eye, hoping he’ll have some sense of the added pressure this is putting on Deeks. He nods discreetly and casts a brief glance at his cohorts before clapping his hands together like a coach gathering his wayward players.

“Alright guys, why don’t we give these two a little time to sort things out?” he suggests. Eric and Nell both take a look at his will-not-budge expression and easily agree, scurrying from the room while Callen is less cooperative. Sam places a large hand on his shoulder, gently but firmly steering his partner towards the doorway, he turns the knob, pausing briefly after Callen exits.

“We’ll be looking into Lieutenant Madison’s acquaintances when you get things figured out,” he informs them, clearly insinuating that while he’s giving them a moment to talk without an audience, copping out isn’t an option.

“I’d like to go on record as saying this is a terrible idea,” Deeks says the moment Sam leaves the room. The comment is Deeks through and through, but his tone lacks any of his usual humor and his face is decidedly grim. What she wouldn’t do to make it disappear and have him home again without this miserable worry and threat hanging over both their heads.

“Baby,” she murmurs, wrapping her arms back around him and pulling his head into the crook of her neck. “You know we can’t keep this up. They’re going to find out one way or another and like you said, we won’t be able to control what they decide to do.” Deeks shudders into her neck, the motion working its way straight up his spine and into Kensi. Comfortingly, she runs her fingers through his hair.

“If I tell them what I’m doing for Whiting then I’ll also have to explain what she has on me,” he says, bringing up a point that has been discussed multiple times in the past few weeks and caused quite a bit of dissension.

“Deeks, you told me you thought Sam and Callen already knew, chances are they do. And even if this is a revelation for them, you’ve stood by them without question when their actions have been less than by-the-book,” Kensi reminds him. He has a terrible habit of believing that he’s better off alienating people and having them think the worse than know the truth. There’s good reason for his secrecy she knows, but she also knows their team and whole heartedly believes they will stand behind Deeks.

“What if it changes how they treat me?” he asks, finally voicing his main fear, the same one he later admitted to Kensi after confessing about killing Boyle. “You know how long it took everyone to accept me…” shaking his head as though he can’t quite voice such thoughts, he ducks his head and presses his forehead against Kensi’s shoulder. “I don’t think I could take that,” he finally murmurs in a creaking voice. He sounds so unsure and vulnerable, terrified of losing what he considers his family.

“I know you’re scared,” she whispers into his ear. “I am too. But you can’t keep this up, you know you can’t. You’ve barely slept in three weeks, you’re not eating and you’re so tense I’m worried you’re going to have an aneurysm at any moment. And I don’t care how many times you tell me, I know that what Whiting has you doing is dangerous.”

“Going on the run is sounding better and better,” he mutters into her neck. “We don’t even need to have ice cream.”

“I will buy you an entire gallon of that expensive organic stuff with the free-range milk,” Kensi offers as though she’s compromising a visit to the doctor with a reluctant child rather than the reveal of Deeks’ deepest secret.

“I thought they only sold it in pints,” he points out, his words still muffled by her skin. Kensi snorts but doesn’t say anything, waiting for him to make his decision and silently holding him as tightly as she can. No matter how much it hurts her to see him in this situation, she knows that the decision to tell the others is fully his to make.

“Ok,” Deeks says a few minutes later, lifting his head from Kensi’s shoulder. It takes a bit of restraint not to pull him back to the safety of her embrace. He sniffs loudly and blows out a short breath. “Let’s do this,” he says in a determined voice.

“I am so proud of you,” Kensi tells him, overcome by a sudden wave of emotion. “Don’t think for a minute that I don’t realize how hard this is for you or the possible implications. I just want you to be able to live without anything hanging over your head.” Deeks nods, now reassuring her.

“I know,” he says simply. His gaze is filled with love as he leans down to kiss Kensi, his hand pressing hard against the back of her head for a moment before he lets go.

***

The rest of the team waits by their desks as promised with a collection of files open before them which seem to be mostly for appearance sake. Eric and Nell have commandeered Kensi and Deeks spots momentarily and appear to be in the middle of a somewhat heated conversation when they arrive, fingers linked.

“You know, it’s rude to talk about people when they’re still in the building,” Deeks interrupts, bringing an abrupt halt to the bickering. Callen turns with an expectant expression, not bothering to comment while Sam’s gaze flicks between Kensi and Deeks linked hands and up to their faces. He nods once in admiration as he notes the resolve in Deeks’ posture. Despite the snarkiness it’s obvious that he’s made a decision.

Deeks turns his head slightly, glancing at Kensi out of the corner of his eye. She may have pushed him to be open with the team, but she knows that ultimately what he tells them and how much is his decision. With that thought in mind she squeezes Deeks’ hand and waits.

He clears his throat once, not to gain attention because everyone is already completely focused on him, but rather to gain some sort of control in this less than desirable situation.

“Ok, I know I owe you all the truth, but before I tell you anything I need you to promise me that you won’t try to interfere. Even if you think it’s the right thing to do,” Deeks says, earning a few looks of surprise that the confession hasn’t begun though Sam nods once more with a mixture of approval and understanding. “Things are already terrible and bringing NCIS into it will only make it ten times worse.” When he receives four various signs of assent, he blows out a short breath and continues,

“About six months ago, Detective Whiting contacted me asking if I wanted to get coffee and talk.”

“Ok, I didn’t see that coming,” Nell comments. “She’s the last person I expected you to be having a tete-a-tete with.”

“Well, she wasn’t exactly my first choice either,” Deeks says dryly, his dislike of Whiting momentarily overcoming his worry and allowing a hint of sarcasm through. He sucks in a long breath, immediately releasing it and rolls his shoulders as though psyching himself up for a difficult pitch. “Beverages aside, Whiting also had another request.”

“What did she want, Deeks?” Sam asks gently.

“To help her investigate Bates without him knowing. She thinks he’s dirty,” he responds in one rushed breath as though getting it out before he can stop himself. A little bit of tension eases from his shoulders with that first hurdle behind him.

“How does she think you can help?” Nell asks, her brows furrowed. “I mean, you haven’t really worked any LAPD cases in like, what, 4 or 5 years.”

“Whiting thinks Bates likes and at the very least, trusts me, which means he’ll be less suspicious if I’m snooping.”

“Like that worked so well last time,” Nell says under her breath.

“So that’s what you’ve been doing for the last 2 months,” Callen surmises. “Spying on Bates.” He pauses to share a look with his partner that clearly says, ‘I told you so’ but Sam just shakes his head, pointing his chin in Deeks’ direction.

“I do what I can when I’m not needed here, although Whiting’s been pushing for me to spend more time at the station,” Deeks allows. He follows the statement up with a deep sigh, likely thinking of the arguments this particular point has brought on. The first time he’d come home after a full 48 hours without contact Kensi had been sick with worry which quickly morphed into anger when Deeks had shrugged off her concern with an exhausted and evasive shake of his head. It feels good that someone else knows, even if there’s nothing they can do about it.

“For my cover, Whiting spun this story that I’m actually investigating two other questionable cops in the precinct. Bates things Hetty agreed to let me help out in a show of interagency cooperation,” he adds. Eric snorts, speaking for the first time since they entered the room.

“Seriously?” At the teams’ questioning looks he clarifies. “If Bates actually believes that then he doesn’t know Hetty very well. Plus Deeks has a clause in his NCIS contract that says she has to sign off on any LAPD run operations. There’s no way Hetty would just ok an op like this without talking to Bates at all.” Eric’s voice holds a note of irritation and perhaps worry at what he clearly feels is a poorly thought out cover story.

Deeks shrugs. “Bates has so much going on right now with demands for more cops, increased accountability, not to mention the constant threat of budget cuts that I doubt he can remember what he had for breakfast let alone whether or not he signed a paper with my name at the top,” he explains, a touch of defensiveness leaking through on behalf a man he has grown to respect.

“Well, that answers the ‘what’, now how about the ‘why’?” Nell prompts, ever the pragmatic. “Clearly Detective Whiting is blackmailing you for something.” Deeks flinches as though Nell’s words have physically hurt him. Making a soothing noise, Kensi smooths her hand down his back, past the point of caring what anyone thinks of her hands-on approach.

“He hasn’t done anything wrong,” she says, instantly jumping to his defense. It earns five varied looks of surprise and interest, but again, she finds she doesn’t care what they think.

“Nell didn’t say he did, Kensi,” Sam reminds her softly. Only slightly mollified, Kensi sends a sweeping glare around the room. She had promised Deeks that the team would be supportive and while they’re not exactly accusing him of anything, the leading questions have her on edge. Just as she’s taking a step forward, readying another barb, Deeks interrupts.

“Before you offer any more help or implicate yourselves in this gigantic mess, you should know that Whiting is blackmailing me and her charges against me were legitimate. I did kill Francis Boyle. I could go into all kinds of explanation and excuses, but I’ll just stick with: Boyle hurt Tiffany and I stopped him from ever having that opportunity again,” Deeks says in a purposeful, even and unapologetic tone. He doesn’t pause once in his explanation. There’s a rather disappointing lack of response when he finishes; no one gasps or looks horrified, confirming their theory that at least certain members know. Kensi is perhaps the most surprised by Deeks’ sudden reveal.

“Feel better?” Callen asks simply.

“That’s a lot of weight to carry for a lotta years, it’s good to have it out in the open,” Sam says gravely, but sounding once again oddly proud at the same time.

“You don’t care?” Deeks asks, his voice caught between disbelief, perhaps a little anger and definitely a lot of shock.

“Babe, don’t push it,” Kensi instructs quietly. Although she says it somewhat jokingly, there’s absolutely no reason so invite trouble. She’s feeling a little light-headed herself and is struggling not to pepper their team with questions.

Callen takes one look at Deeks’ slightly pale complexion and bewildered expression and hooks a foot around a spare chair, sliding it towards the other man.

“You look like you could use this,” he says with a smirk. Deeks wordlessly sinks into it, looking immensely grateful for the support before Sam starts speaking again.

“I think we all understand the kind of secret you’ve been keeping, we’ve all had them,” Sam explains, gesturing at each person in turn. Somehow Kensi sincerely doubts that any of them have felt the pressure of knowing they actually killed someone, but she accepts the pardon without question. “We know the kind of man you are and the kind of man Francis Boyle was. That’s enough. You protected an innocent person, I would hope the rest of us would do the same given the situation.”

Beside her, Kensi sees Deeks’ lip caught between his teeth as he attempts to deal with the emotional upheaval of the last few minutes. She know that the five people currently staring at him with varying levels of fondness and exasperation aren’t helping any so she leans down to wrap her arm around his shoulders and presses a kiss to the side of his head.

“And you all feel the same way?” she feels the need to ask. Eric and Nell have both been fairly silent and she wants to be completely certain there’s no hesitation on their part. Nell appears slightly hurt by the implication but it’s Eric who speaks up, his voice quiet and as serious as she’s ever heard it.

“I had a chance to see Steadman’s work firsthand and I trolled through so many reports against him and Boyle that…Tiffany was lucky you were there for her,” he concludes.

Deeks shakes his head. “I don’t…I don’t even know what to say,” he stutters, his voice horse. He presses his hand tight against his mouth, as though he can keep the overwhelming emotion inside by sheer force.

“That’s a first,” Callen chimes in, drawing a derisive snort from his partner. They give Deeks a few minutes to compose himself, the chatter starting back up while Kensi rubs his shoulders. While she greatly appreciates their support, she can’t help but wish for another minute alone.

“So what have you found out?” Nell asks “Is Bates guilty or is he the most unlucky man when it comes to IA investigations? Second to you, of course.”

“I don’t know. All I can tell is that Bates has been running a lot of undercover operations and working to weed out some bad apples. It means he doesn’t particularly care that I’m working on Whiting’s little project. But in order to back up my cover story, I actually have to spend time around these guys, which also means the occasional shift as back up. It’s not exactly easy to hang out with an LAPD lieutenant as it is, seems kind of suspicious and all, but now my time is just about cut in half.”

“You said you were making progress,” Kensi admonishes quietly.

“I didn’t want you to worry and compared to how things were going the first couple weeks, I am making progress,” he explains.

“You didn’t answer the question,” Callen points out, catching on to his obvious reluctance to implicate his superior. “Come on Deeks. You’ve never had a problem saying it like it is before this. If you think Bates might be involved in something, then spill.”

“Look, all I can tell is that there’s been a lot of compromised covers and operations in the last few years, but whether or not Bates is involved in some way, I don’t know. I got a chance to look over some paperwork from a botched job and it seems like Bates did everything by the book,” Deeks explains tiredly.

“You said Whiting mentioned something about finding evidence while investigating you,” Kensi reminds him suddenly, bringing up a bit of information that had obviously slipped through Deeks’ already overcrowded mind. “Do you know what that evidence was?” He shakes his head, dispelling Kensi’s momentary excitement.

“No clue…I’d need to see the files but I have restricted access to all files from my case. But the only way I can think Bates could possibly be involved is if Whiting found out he helped me bust out of LAPD and that’s not something to start this kind of investigation over,”

“Maybe he enacted a little…social justice himself,” Nell suggests slowly, her voice rising higher as she speaks. Perhaps she’s worried that Deeks’ will lash out or react in some other negative way, but he merely shakes his head.

“Bates has way too much control for that.”

“So what’s your plan moving forward?” Callen asks.

“I don’t know, man. What I do know is that I can’t let it interfere with my work with NCIS or Hetty will decide to intervene, but I also can’t put Whiting off any more than I have,” Deeks says and Kensi is disappointed to notice that any positive effects of the last half hour have completely disappeared, leaving his mood as despondent as ever.

“I might be able to help with that,” Nell slips a hand into the pocket of her cardigan and removes a familiar looking object. “It’s not exactly the cavalry, but it should help if you get into trouble,” she says, extending the earwig in Deeks’ direction. He stands and silently takes it, his expression unreadable.

“Nell, I appreciate this but…”

“I set it to its own private frequency so no one else should be able to access it unless they’re already linked in and an agent-in-distress alert will be sent to all of our phones if you have it turned on and use the distress word three times in a row,” she continues, talking over Deeks’ protest and then again at his reluctant expression. “This is more important than anything Hetty can do if and when she inevitably finds out. I am not going to let you play Whiting’s fall guy.” Her expression is so fierce and determined that Deeks would be stupid to attempt further protest.

“Alright then,” he murmurs with a very faint smirk.

“And um, if Hetty mentions something about a two week long LAPD training seminar, just go along with it?” Eric adds, looking just as fierce as Nell and somewhat pleased with himself. “That should give you a little more time to investigate without taking a graveyard shift.”

“Do I even want to know how you generated that memo?” Deeks asks, looking overwhelmed by the generosity of their friends.

“Nope,” Eric answers immediately and definitively. “Suffice it to say that the course coordination office had a little snafu with their database.”

“Guys, we really don’t want you to get in any trouble,” Kensi reiterates. “This doesn’t even come close to a sanctioned operation and you’re using NCIS resources, hacking LAPD…” she trails off, letting the mounting pile of minor offenses sink in. Sparing a glance at Deeks, she worries for a moment that she’s overstepped her bounds, but he’s nodding in agreement.

“You don’t know how much I appreciate everything you guys are doing, have done, but I need you to understand that Whiting is not afraid of bringing down anyone who gets in her way. She’s already threatened to bring Kensi in for questioning which is part of the reason why I haven’t pushed back. And she’s knows it.” Deeks says, glancing at Kensi in particular. He knows that this is a sore spot with her; she hates being a weakness of any sort.

“If we don’t do anything, then she’s just gonna get her claws in deeper and deeper, Deeks,” Callen points out, sounding frustrated by the constant requests to stand down. “You need to show her that she doesn’t hold all the power.”

“Well right now she does,” he snaps back, blowing out a short breath a second later and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Whiting’s smart and plays mostly by the book from what I can tell. If she’s been blackmailing other officers into helping her, there’s no evidence. Not that I haven’t been looking when I have the chance. It’d have to be pretty damning though and I’d have to be sure she had absolutely no conclusive proof I was guilty.”

“Then we have a plan: Nell and Eric, find something on Whiting that is worthy of counter-blackmail without being too obvious, Deeks will keep Whiting happy and the rest of us will make sure he doesn’t get himself arrested again or killed,” Callen sums up, wearing a self-satisfied expression.

A shrill beeping interrupts suddenly, the sound drawing everyone’s gaze to Eric’s right pocket.

“Ah, Hetty’s just left the Commissioner’s office,” he explains, silencing the alarm. “We better get to ops.”

“We’ll go with you,” Sam says, getting up from his chair.

“But there’s nothing for us to do in ops,” Callen complains, earning an eye roll from his partner.

“We’ll find something for you to do,” Sam retorts while tugging a mildly resisting Callen away from his desk. On the way past, Sam squeezes Deeks’ shoulder. “I’m sure Nell has lots of files that need to be destroyed.”

“Do you ever get the feeling we’re not in control of our lives?” Kensi asks as they watch the pair argue their way up to ops.

“Every single day since I met you,” he jokes.  

***

Later that day, well night really, Kensi is driving home, one hand on the steering wheel and the other grasping Deeks’. His body is angled away from her, forehead propped against the passenger window. She might think that he’s angry with her if it weren’t for the almost undetectable brushing of his thumb across her knuckle.

They’re driving home together for the first time in over a week and despite Deeks’ solemn mood, she can’t help but feel a touch of contentment.

“What did Whiting say when you told her you weren’t coming in tonight?” she asks, partially out of curiosity but also hoping that it will draw Deeks out of his own thoughts.

“I don’t know. Left a voicemail,” he answers in short, clipped sentences. After a few more moments of silence he slowly shifts himself around until he’s facing her, a groan or two slipping out when his legs get caught in the small space. “I thought about what Callen’s said earlier and he’s right,”

“Wow, I’m pretty sure that’s the firsts time those words have ever left your mouth,” she jokes, pleased when it earns her a brief smirk. Deeks brings her hand to his lips and presses a soft, lingering kiss there.

“Well, today’s been full of surprises, so why not?” he murmurs. “I can’t let Whiting have this kind of control over me. If I make it through this investigation with my badge, and that’s a big if, she’s still going to have Boyle to hang over my head. There’s nothing to stop her from using me as her personal mole indefinitely.”

“So what are you going to do?” Kensi asks, internally relieved that he’s being sensible. Deeks sighs, letting go of her hand to run his fingers through his hair. She misses the contact immediately and once again realizes how little time they’ve had together recently.

“Figure I’ll start with any officers she’s investigated and look for evidence of misconduct…anything that will give me an edge,” He shrugs, his expression bleak as he goes back to watching the darkened blurs that represent trees and bushes.

“Well I’m down for any plan that gets Whiting off our backs for good,” Kensi says lightly although deep down she’d rather approach the IA detective in a more hands-on manner. When she’d heard that Whiting had been shot, she’d been sympathetic, putting aside her dislike. Any compassion had evaporated the second Whiting had approached Deeks with her proposition.

“I need you to do something for me,” Deeks says suddenly, still staring out the window.

“Of course,” she agrees immediately in her eagerness to help. It’s only a moment later that Kensi recognizes the guilt and hesitation in his voice for what it is. “You’re going to say something really stupid now, aren’t you,” she predicts. Deeks presses his lips together.

“You have to stay away from Whiting and LAPD this time. I don’t care what she does or says but I don’t want her to have another opportunity to threaten you or force you into testifying against me. If you think it’s bad now, it’s probably only going to get worse and you can’t play into her hands.”

“If you remember, it didn’t work last time she tried,” Kensi points out, her mouth dry at what she things Deeks is suggesting. He’s already pushed her away enough as it is and she’s terrified he’ll try something really stupid, like putting off their engagement.

Deeks makes a derisive noise in the back of his throat. “Yeah, only because you were abducted and Whiting got shot,” he retorts. Pulling into the driveway, Kensi puts the car in park before throwing up her hands in exasperation.

“Fine, I won’t provoke her. But if I find out she’s putting you in danger or risking your career, I will not just stand by.” Deeks nods at her fierce words. “We’re partners,” she continues in a softer voice. “Here at home, at work, wherever, whatever we do, no matter how many IA Detectives come after you. I’m not going to abandon you and there is no way in hell I’m letting this force us apart. I said it earlier and I’ll say it again since you apparently are experiencing short term memory loss: “I love you and I am not going anywhere, ever.” Deeks sniffs a couple times, refusing to meet her gaze.

“This has the potential to get a lot worse,” he whispers again.

“Only if you try and go off by yourself like an idiot,” she replies stubbornly. She watches Deeks’ face in his window, waiting for him to react with his typical wit and when he doesn’t, she grabs his, kissing it in the same place he had hers. His head falls then, that guilty, miserable expression she hates so much back again. She’d give anything to see him smiling and laughing once more.

“This isn’t fair,” he whispers. Scooting over in her seat until the console impedes further movement, she places her palms on Deeks’ cheeks, ignoring his mild resistance. She gently pulls his forehead down to meet hers and relishes the moments when he finally leans into her touch.

“None of the crap we’ve been through in the last eight years has been fair,” she reminds him. “But we’ve always made it through together and this is no different.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this one,” he admits on a sigh, the sounds making Kensi’s chest throb. “Even if I find evidence against Whiting, it might not be enough or in time to be go any good.

“We will,” she assures him. “We will. And when this is all over we are going to plan out wedding and get married and go on a ridiculously expensive honeymoon in the middle of nowhere, where Hetty won’t even be able to find us.” Deeks chuckles weakly at her fierce tone and nods his head again.

“Ok,” he agrees, leaning down until his lips meet Kensi’s, his hands clasping the back of her head to pull that much closer. He is exquisitely gentle as he eases her lips apart.

“I love you so much,” he breathes into her mouth. As they stumble from the car and through the front door, Kensi knows that one night of lovemaking isn’t going to fix anything. She’s desperate for the reprieve though and as Deeks presses her against their bedroom wall, she silently vows to do whatever it takes to keep him safe.

by - @ejzah

[mula-samvit-blog]

New Post has been published on Traveling Karma Yogi

New Post has been published on http://sonofearth.org/journal/ttc-completed-new-life-new-town-lots-of-adventure-love-my-life/

Sivananda TTC, Val Morin

OK … so much has Happen since my last update… I completed my TTC Certification.

5 month living  in an Ashram &  it was one of the most enriching experience in my life and surely to be repeated. But that is a hole subject on its own and you can read all about it in the Ashram Life Serie. But I have to admit… Thank god I got some preparation and a good foundation prior to my TTC course or else I don’t think I would of made it.

There this guy who showed up on the first day, name JD and we all ask each other how long we been doing yoga …and this guy says “Well I just had my first class today”

and I tough to my self WOW! that gonna be painful, but let me tell you, the guy made it all the way true with a smile all the time I’m sure he wanted to quite at time …we all did, but I was impress with the man keeping up like this. So bravo JD you the man.

  The course is very demanding physically and mentally and at the beginning of my stay with the organization I didn’t have neither. The karma yoga gave me the opportunity to work on my mind, body & soul for some time before putting them true  the challenges of the TTC.

But first thing first, what is a TTC ? It’s a Teacher Training Course to become an Yoga teacher. A course design to teach you principle of the Yoga philosophy. Most will believe that Yoga is all about being flexible and showing off some crazy Position “Asana’s” but I can assure you there is much more to it , same as KungFu most believe it to be about violence and fighting but very few realize that it all about energy flow, state of mind & philosophy & let’s not forget some spirituality. So Yoga also has all of these principal & quality’s as well and I was fortunate enough to be able to experience them in this life time. A course design over 30 days to immerse the sadhaka  in the gurukula life style.

I don’t think i have ever work this hard at something or even wanted something as much as this other then when I was training as a rider for the Olympic … I wanted to absorb as much as possible live every second of it, get more …More knowledge, more practice, more meditation … Just more. The first day was orientation day, people arrive from all over the world to come and live the ashram life and develop there practice. For a few of my yogi brother and sister it was a welcomed day off, we knew our way around the Ashram, we had been here for some time now as Karma Yogi. Then that evening we had a Satsang  and we all got to introduce ourself to each other by standing up and giving our name, where we were from and why we wanted to accomplish this endeavor. I could see some of the students freaking out at the sigh of the spiritual aspect of the practice… there even a guy I tough the first night he would burst into flame, attempting to wrap his head around these ritual, prayer & chant. Then we where told that the next day there would be a tour of the grounds and that got me excited because I was going to experience the Ashram as a guess since I have been a resident Karma yogi since august all my time was for the community it was nice to see the other side. On top of that, a permanent resident Yogini Chandrika, was giving the tour and I really wanted to attend.

That evening we received our initiation announcing the official Begin of our course. 30 days of intensive yogic discipline, our days consisted of 4 hours of yoga asana & teaching class, 3 hours of meditation & chants, 1 hour of Karma Yoga & 3.5hours of Bhagavad gita teaching, chant class, philosophies & anatomies class, from Swamis And member of the organization from all around the world. We where very fortunate, first we had our resident Swami Sivabaktananda he tough the Asana,teaching class, anatomies class and the Kriyas , He was from Brazil but reside in Quebec and is in charged of the Val Morin Ashram many called him the tattooed Swami. then there was Swami Rajeshwarananda who also teach the Asana class for the French group and the children & people with disability class as well as the philosophy class, she is from Mexico but live in Rome as the director of the center there. For the Bhagavad Gita class we  had a lady name Padmavati  “Hope I wrote her name right”  she was from england and she had a way to share her tough that was very particular & entertaining I always looked forward to her class, and for our chanting class there was Chandrika always wanting to help everyone, she is from Quebec and reside at the Ashram for the past 7 years or so very knowledgeable . And all of the teachers assistant, all past student advance in there practice and willing to shared there knowledge and experience. and them too, soul from all over the world.And for 11.5 hours everyday we got to learn from them. Live with them, share knowledge

A new life dawn upon the horizon, I could feel myself detaching from past life and believed dear to my heart that the Yogic life was more suitable for me.

The first week was a breeze, my spirits where up…all of my past time spent at the Ashram was well worth it. I had done 3 weeks of 2 asana class a day,I work as a Karma yogi for 4 month, I got use to the routine 5:30 am wake up, 6 am Satsang & Meditation or silent walk, 8 am Asana class, 10 lunch, 10:45 Karma Yoga and usually I would work until 4 or 6 and even sometime 9 pm all depending on the task at hand. But now that was different, during the TTC,  after lunch some had some karma yoga and the others had free time for me my Karma yoga was in the kitchen at night cleaning dishes for and average of 85 people at all time, more on week ends sometime some 120 people where present and luckily enough on those days there was always a special event requiring a cake or ice cream 😛 now don’t get me wrong I like sweets like everyone but that did pile on the dishes to a hole new level… but that ok that was my service my karma yoga and I did it with pride trying to out best the previous day …lol. with partner Madhuri, we always had some great chat or chant and often we had some passing karma yogi that would join in to help with our task. Anyways so after lunch I had some free time to study and do my homeworks then at noon we had a Bhagavad Gita or a kirtan chanting class then we had one hour break and at 2 we had a philosophy or anatomies class then at 4 was the asanas class then diner my karma yoga satsang now it was already 9pm then a bit more study some likhita japa a reading from master Sivananda and light out by 11 even doe they said 10pm, it was hard to fit everything on this little time . And like I said the first week was a breeze but by the second one… Ouff!!

You see before my goals where to lose weight be in better health but with no real goals and I had all the time in the world, so I went fairly easy on my self… Still at the beginning of the TTC course I could not do the headstand. I had all the right techniques, execution & not afraid of trying or falling …god know how often I fell …Like A LOT but the mind set wasn’t present but now I am going to be a Yoga teacher I have to be the best that i can be, so with in 4 days I was able to hold the headstand for give or take 25 second. But by the second week I was trying to catch up to some of the student. I know they say you have to go at your  own rhythm but I didn’t want to be the chubby kid that couldn’t keep up. and then I herded a  clear  distinctive  voice telling me “YOUR STILL FAT” that was my ego booster telling how good of a job I was doing …lol. I could see some of the student bending in ways that made me regret all the times I din’t take care of my health, so I push a little harder and now my body was hurting, thank god my wife was with me and on good night she could give me massages and thank  god I had my bus to sleep in. I am not much of a dorm kind of guy eater . It funny how your mind mind will bring up all these SH&^%T,  tough to your attention once you start putting some strain on it and much was brewing in my mind during the second week lots of anger resurface and needed to be address, ” that always fun”… and it need to be done with a smile, not anybody fault my energy center where cleansing 😛 . At time I ask myself what I was doing here but nothing a little meditation could not fix. But yes the second week was the hardest all the mental and physical negativity came out but that made room for something much better, some peace of mind and my practice improves 10 fold I could see it I could feel it .

I got into a grove on the third week, for a few days I felt good about my self and the progress i was achieving. I was limber, more flexible I could stay longer in my asanas overall I was getting impress with myself, then Swamiji threw us a curve ball with some crazy Asanas variation, for a few days and that cooled me right down, remembering how much I still had to progress , not because they where impossible or I wasn’t good enough but because everything in life take time and devotion to succeed and some part of yoga came easy to me or easierrrrr should I say and other harder and Asana reminded me of all past ill care I have done to my self. Smoking, no exercise, fast food & laziness where an obvious factor. And it dawn on me, this was not about a few month of practice to master but a life time & everyday would bring a finite enlightenment , but for that I have to practice everyday but the tough was reassuring understanding that it would take years and not just weeks or months . I have found some peace in what, I now believe to be  one of the path to enlightenment, a purpose to my life that dint not quantify itself by the amount that was in my account . So ya new variation and a hole new level of hurting in my body but could fell my body changing, I was progressing .

Fourth and final week, now I was getting nervous the final exam was only days away and I din’t know how I was going to perform. I never did good in exam, the second there is a marking on what I am suppose to know I lose all sense and cant perform, but that was ions ago  …so hopefully i was going to do just fine plus I studied every single night. The crazy Asanas where over now we where back to the foundation of Hatha Yoga. My favorite part where the Yoga Meditation asanas where we would stay longer in the poses long enough to get a glimpse of there steadiness.

I could feel the excitement of everyone, eager to finish the course longing to go home and see love one, as well as the sorrow in some at the sight of this newly founded family drifting apart after such a short but very powerful bound shared amongst once strangers. Some talk about staying at the Ashram for some time and I was really hoping I could as well, I felt comfortable there, at home even, but the weather was not in our favor and my wife suffered enough I had to go but none less sad at the tough of leaving the ashram behind.

Graduation was coming and we just learn there was going to be a second talent show night and needed to get ready. The first night I sang with a consoeur  “Mirabai” playing the guitar and now I wanted to play on my own see if I could get over that fear 😛 well I cant now tell you I sing better when someone play with me 😛 I never tough that this journey that stared month ago on a summer day, looking for a yoga studio, would lead me to today being a certify yoga instructor and even more a yogi with a purpose of spreading Swamiji message of world peace and understanding.

Thank you to all my yogi friend who I have met during my time at the Ashram . I love you and hope to see you soon

Namaste

Bhima Mula Samvit

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