#this entire scene hurted but he made it all better i love him sm

[lilmeowmeowsagelesath]

THE ONLY MAN EVER !!!!!! 💕💖💞💗💖💕

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

Hey I’m not sure if you’re doing requests right now (if not then please just ignore😭) if you are doing requests I was wondering if you could write and Aemond x Wife Reader where she’s with child, in where the dinner scene takes place but when Jace goes to hit Aemond the reader tries to stop him and jace blond in anger pushes her and she falls to the floor and starts to bleed (the child is okay in the end) and it the whole table goes quite! Please and thank you!! I love your writing sm💕💕

'If looks could kill'

A/N: I got this request ages ago so sorryyyyyy~ I was unsure how to approach this one as there is a very similar fic by the wonderful @aemonds-war-crime and I was really weary and making it not too similar, hopefully I did it? lol

Go read theirs cos honestly it's better anyway

Warnings: mention of miscarriages, hurt reader, protective aemond, childbirth / Ao3 link

You raised your arms out in a silent plea, feeling too heavy and weak to be able to pull yourself up. Smiling up to him, you wiggle your fingers.

“A little help?” you say in a half-mischievous tone. 

“Hm” Aemond responded with that half-smile before bending at the knees to take your hands to pull you up. 

You feigned a groan of pain as you came to your feet, one hand stationed under the large bump as if for protection. It took no effort from Aemond at all to pull you up and he smoothed his large hands down your side. He stood before you in silence, but you could feel his eye over your form, beaming with pride at the bump that touched against him. So much so, he placed his palm to it and closed his eye. His expression was so peaceful you would think he is falling asleep, but with a soft laugh you lay your own palm on his face, softly stroking your thumb against it. 

When he looks down at you, there is a flash of worry.

“Are you sure you are well enough to do this?” he asks.

Without a beat, you nod, hand still finding its home on his face. 

It was only natural that Aemond was worried for you throughout this long and tortuous pregnancy. He had concerned himself with your wellbeing the entire time, making sure the right foods and the right care was provided, lest the servants feel the wrath of a Targaryen soon-to-be father.

It made you regard him with love and trust the way he took care of you. But a tug of sadness was always there.

Before this pregnancy, your marriage had been plagued with a few miscarriages, some later than others, but still painful nonetheless. The first had been the most painful to your emotions and every one after had chipped a little piece of you away with it. But what worried you the most was the extent at which Aemond seemed to hide his own feelings from you. He was always there for comfort when it happened and you desperately wanted him to at least tell you what was on his mind. If he was grief-stricken, would he tell you?

When this pregnancy came around, there was a deep, dark and hurt part of you that thought it would not last. You thought to not get any hopes of passing a particular milestone and many nights you were crying in Aemond’s arms just praying for the Gods to end it if it was not to result in a baby. To spare you the sadness and grief at another lost child.

But days, weeks and months passed and you only swelled more. You would pull the dress under your bump in the mirror to see how big you had gotten and a motherly pride would overwhelm you at the feeling of growing Aemond’s child and heir inside you. 

You meet Aemond’s gaze, half-worried, “Are you going to be alright?”

He sighs deeply, “I shall have to be”

You send him a sad smile, resting your hand on top of his, “And you will not antagonise them?”

I raise my eyebrow when Aemond doesn’t respond, a smirk appears on his face.

“I am not sure if that’s a promise I can make”

You huff a laugh and press a quick kiss to his lips, closing your eyes to savour the feeling of him alone with you before you were to share the evening with Rhaenyra and her children.

“Just try and be good” 

You smile, knowing that he most certainly will not. 

Between waddling to the table and feeling the kicks of the baby against your insides, the evening wasn’t so bad. There was a bit of squabbling for certain and some glares exchanged, namely by Aemond and Luke, but you supposed it was to be expected. Nobody had expected them to be the best of friends after all. 

You pushed the food around your place, feeling your appetite dwindle as the night went on. Even the comfort of wine didn’t seem to touch the discomfort you felt at the baby resting on your pelvis. But nothing seemed to cause more discomfort than when Viserys was escorted from the table back to his chambers. The atmosphere changed entirely and there was a thick layer of tension to the room, threatening to snap at any moment.

You watched as Jace invited Helaena for a dance. It would have been nice to see had Aegon not adopted a sour frown at the sight of the brunet’s hands on his sister-wife. Perhaps he felt embarrassed, you were not sure, but it was certainly of no bother to you as you closed your eyes, one hand rested at the bump. A habit adopted only in the last month or two.

You jumped slightly and opened your eyes when Aemond squeezed his hand over yours, looking at you with concern.

“Are you alright, my love” he asked.

You nodded slowly, “Just tired. I may retire soon”

Aemond tapped your hand before pulling back, passing a scathing look to the younger brunet at the other side of the table. Your eyes watch your husband as a roasted pig is brought to the table, and to your discomfort, is placed right before your husband. You close your eyes, hoping Luke isn’t stupid enough to retort to it, but when Aemond turns to see Luke and a hateful smirk makes its way to his face, you know it was too late for the kind words of a wife to bring him back.

Luke immediately ceases his laughter when Aemond’s fist makes contact with the table, standing with his cup. You open your mouth to ask Aemond to calm down, but the words tumble from your husband’s mouth before you get the chance. Everyone in the room has their eyes trained on Aemond. 

The tension in the room is as tight as a bowstring. 

“Final tribute” he finally says. His deep voice resonates throughout the room, authoritative and well-meaning in his eyes.

“To the health of my nephews”

His eye meets Jace, who is sending daggers at him from across the room, “Jace” Aemond says.

“Luke”

The younger brunet pretends to feign indifference, but he must know as well as everyone else, he is afraid of what his Uncle might do or say, given the circumstances of their relationship. 

“And Joffrey”

The table braces themself for more. You look up to your husband on the off chance he is looking down at you to ask him to stop, but he is far too deep now.

“Each of them handsome, wise…”

Alicent looks as if she might throw up anticipating what Aemond then says.

“...strong”

“Aemond” Alicent scolds in a soothing voice, her panicked eyes meet yours. Both the women in Aemond’s life give one another a silent plea that all this end, but powerless to do anything to stop him. And in some strange truth, perhaps Aemond deserves to have this word in some way.

“Come, let us drain our cups to these three strong boys”

Jace’s return sounds angrier even though he is to your back and you cannot see his face, “I dare you to say that again”

“Why?” Aemond barks back, “T’was only a compliment. Do you not think yourself strong?”

You had enough and you rise from your chair as Aemond rounds the table to approach Jace. 

“That is enough, Aemond” you scold quietly, placing yourself before him. 

Aemond attempts to go around you, but Jace is already advancing and before you know it he is almost right before you. He looks blind with rage, almost unrecognisably so and there is something in his eye which seems unhinged, as if not thinking clearly. 

Instinctively, you step in front of Aemond, arm reaching across as if you could offer any protection despite Aemond’s clearly larger frame. But Jace’s eyes only land on his Uncle and without thinking he places his palm flat on your shoulder to shove you out of the way to land a punch to the side of Aemond’s face. 

You gasp out as your hand reaches out for the table as you tumble, your weight off balance due to the bump before you. But your eyes widen when your hands miss the table and you topple over the chair to land square on your front on the cold, hard stone floor, landing with a groan of pain.

Hands flat on the stone floor, it takes you a moment to really realise what has happened. Everyone in the room takes a breath and is completely silent while they watch you come to the realisation of what had just happened. Pushing yourself from the floor shakily, you realise you have landed on your bump and a sound halfway between a cry and a choke escapes you as you feel the familiar ache in your womb. 

You look up to Aemond with glassy eyes and his form is entirely still, his face stoic and you see his eye flit from you to Jace. His whole body is charged with something and you realise exactly what it is when in just a second he had Jace pressed against the wall, his dagger pressed against the older brunet’s throat. His expression is not crazed or angry and you are surprised just how calm Aemond looks as he threatens Jace’s life.

Jace blabbers incoherently, making half-apologies. All on deaf ears.

Alicent rounds the table in a jog to kneel by you and she goes from helping you to a more comfortable position, to wiping away the tears on your face. 

“You dare harm my wife, bastard” Aemond spits, pinning the smaller boy to the wall with ease.

You grip Alicent’s forearm, a new wave of pain crashing through you, taking every ounce of strength with it. She looks down at you with furrowed eyes and out-of-breath you say,

“What’s happening…?” you ask, feeling a warm sensation between your legs. 

Rhaenyra and Daemon only watch from the other side of the table as the scene unfolds. Daemon has one hand resting on his sword’s handle, just in case anything goes too far, a sickening smirk on his face.

You look up to Aemond to find he is already staring down at you. The previous anger now turned to complete shock and concern at the situation that has befallen the evening. With a soft sheen of sweat on your face and the lines of tears that had run down your face, you meet his gaze with concern and fear. This feeling you knew and you shook your head, it could not be another, could it? Could the gods truly be this cruel?

Alicent is jittering with anxiety and pulls Aemond off of Jace, having spaced out with the blade still at the brunet’s throat. 

“Aemond…” you let out a quiet sob as he kneels to you, “...something is wrong…”

Without thinking, Aemond brings your body into his arms, rushing you with an entourage of people to your chambers. Before he has a chance to question, the family are pushed to the other side of the door, various maesters and midwives all filing in to fill their stations. It was like preparing for battle.

Concealed on the outside, Aemond was entirely inconsolable and paced for hours, flinching whenever you made a sound that evoked pain. He felt his fist clench so hard he thought the bones may give out, and he imagined bashing Jace’s head through for merely laying a hand on you in your delicate condition. Oh the things he would like to do to that boy.

But the sheer anxiety of your situation had him obediently outside your chambers. The family could only wait for those fated doors to open. Alicent grasped her son’s arm in comfort, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Aemond had been sitting outside the doors for hours now and to put it bluntly, he had made himself sick with worry for your wellbeing. He had heard very little through the thick doors, and this seemed to concern him even more. His eye looked up to find Alicent pacing the hallway before him, seemingly attempting to soothe herself. 

One side of the door opened and the maester poked his head out and almost immediately Aemond stood to attention, lending his ear to the maester to whisper. It was the dead of night and in fact may have been very early the next morning, and the Keep was completely silent, even the whispers of the maester seemed to echo.

Face blanched with worry, Aemond was allowed into the room. His gaze scanned the room in a panic, eventually landing on your form, sitting upright in the bed you shared together. Your tired eyes met him and gave him a soft, but exhausted smile, one hand underneath a bundle held tightly to your chest. Your husband’s ghostly white expression never faltered once, fully expectant for all this to be some cruel dream. 

You extended a hand out to him and swallowing heavily, Aemond dragged his feet over to you and shakily reached out to touch you. You pulled him to sit next to you, but his gaze was stuck on you the entire time to observe you. Your shift had been abandoned and a silk robe had been tied around you as you laid in bed, multiple cushions and blankets stacked upon one another to create the soft mound to rest your body against. 

Your face was flushed and a thin layer of sweat was still evident on your brow, but all the same, your smile warmed him. You huff a laugh as you lay a hand against his face,

“My love” you say, bringing him out of a trance-like state, “this is our daughter” 

His eyeline follows yours down to your chest, where a small bundle of a baby was suckling against your chest. A warmth that was not previously there spreads through Aemond’s heart almost painfully and some semblance of colour is once again painted at his cheeks.

His index finger reaches out to stroke the infant’s head. Halfway between a choked sob and a laugh rattles through Aemond’s chest. The infant was small, but flushed with a pink flush, looking healthy. You leaned forward to stroke his hair and he leaned against you, placing his forehead with yours. A silent act of love.

He grasped your hand tightly, not wanting to let go.

“Well done, my love” he said quietly, “I thought the worst”

You look back down at your daughter, who made a content sound, “I did as well” you admit.

After a few minutes, Aemond stood and straightened his clothing, turning towards the door.

“Aemond” you call after him.

His purple eye lands on you once more, softening instantly.

“Don’t hurt him too badly” you smile.

[danganronpafan777]

I’m going to rant about the side story a bit cause I have no where else to rant about it

(Spoilers for dra and sdra2 omake 2 obv)

Ugh that Side Story hurt. Like genuinely hurt me.

Rei just straight up saying “The Rei Mekaru of the 79th class of Hope’s Peak Academy also died along with Teruya Otori.” Did a blow on me man, I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I read the side story

You can really see how much Rei’s grown here

Ironically, maybe it’s cause she’s talking to Tsurugi or is under influence, but I actually really see and recognize the Rei I remember in this scene unlike with how unrecognizable she was in the actual game. Now she’s disconnecting herself from the past because god she did not deserve to experience any of that - none of the dra students did

And then we have Tsurugi- for once I actually sympathize with him here (love hate relationship yknow-). It really opened my eyes to see that the Tsurugi Kinjo of the 79th class was… really not dead. It surprises me he still has that side of himself especially with all the in dislikable crap he did during sdra2 - but that’s what I’m talking about when I say Tsurugi should’ve been smart enough to rethink his actions between the years and I guess seeing the side story confirms that he DID think about them. And that really opened my eyes to his character - I mean of course I never doubted he was the best written character but the side story definitely made me like how his character was written even more.

And ugh seeing Rei in that state hurt me so so badly - she has every right to be upset and feel the need to drink if she wants to but ahdjs it brought my heart to agony like, I usually love angst but for some reason Rei in this side story just makes me really sad and not be able to get out of my head for literally an entire day. I just want to give her a gigantic hug. God Linuj why is this the first thing you post after half a year 😭

I absolutely agree with everything

This reminds me of why I write fanfiction, cuz literally everyone deserves better, (reader included-)

It’s surprising to see that Rei was wrong about the Kinjo of 79th class being dead, he was just buried deep down. Tsurugi silently screaming was just… wow. He just needs someone to vent to…

*insert pic of Tsurugi reading All My Friends Are Dead*

I want to hug them both sm

I’m mad that Teruya always thought he was a burden but never knew how important he was to keeping the Kisaragi Foundation together

Rei went from calling Teruya a dumbass in DRA to being loyal to him even after his death

Both Rei and Tsurugi are so well written, and Rei being angry because she knows Teruya wouldn’t be mad at them even knowing what they did (and he dedicated his last moments to tell them not to feel guilty) broke me

Seeing their guilt and Tsurugi’s dilemma really humanizes and brings the characters to life

I don’t really know why, but Rei denouncing herself, saying class 79 is dead just struck a chord, along with her telling Tsurugi, “If I hadn’t done this,” (Refering to her getting drunk) “I’d have actually killed you.”

The whole freaking story was heartbreaking

I’m kinda scared to see what event is being foretold that will completely changed the foundation…

LINUJ HOW THE HELL COULD THIS GET WORSE??

[erwinsvow]

Omg you’re the absolute sweetest and made me blush!! I’m super into Ancient Greek plays particularly Sophocles 

I absolutely LOVE this time concept thing you have going?? It’s so creative!! Did you come up with it? The 2:31am one was so sweet I’m a whore for mean rafe who cares🙁 I’m just projecting personal preferences but I vote reader calls rafe dad more

The rafe thinking you spoil him because you love him and your attentive drabble?? My heart hurts he just needs love :( Ward Cameron when I get my hands on you…

Also this is the first time I checked out your page from my laptop and I accidentally clicked a few things caused I’m so unfamiliar Tumblr on a browser and I have to say WOW?!?! Your layout is SO amazing and cool and gorgeous and different and camp and kooky and I love it 

I’m sorry I can’t shut up but I’d like to believe you like reviews and I’m a fan so I’m here to provide bae <3 I’m just proactive like that! 

I absolutely adore the way you write rafe as slightly manipulative but so in love with reader I can so easily overlook it!! And the fact that we got an entire drabble from the movie screening scene?? I jumped from joy it’s my favourite everrr 

Btw I saw you reblogged a cam girl one shot and I’m reading this little series it’s cam girl x rafe (I love it and it’s updated every two days or so) lmk if you’re interested  

Thanks for reading my novel long asks lmk if they’re too much though and it’ll be sure to adjust accordingly!! Hope you had a great day! Love youuu <33

-💓

Ps are requests open for the time concept? I have an idea!

omg hi bae!! full stop because i love sophocles!!! antigone is my shittttt i wrote a whole term paper on her once!!! why are we so linked... what plays are your favorites? huge fan of medea too

also thank you so much babe! omg i have seen the concept in writing before but i just started thinking of placing a timestamp on moments almost like bottling it up... i would love to expand it into a series if people love it enough! youre soooooo sweet i could sob. the 230 one was so cute i really love the idea of after hours with rafe he gets soft the later it gets.. esp my rafe who just loves his girlfriend and no one else haha

STOPPPP CALLING RAFE DAD GIRLIES UNITEEEE. i know i got it from princessbrunette but seriously its such a god tier idea. shes so big brained

also stop?! why are you so sweet. i need to update it to match my video game theme on mobile (the desktop version is still in tune with my old scream 1996 theme!!) but ur such an angel.

your reviews and kind words mean soooo much to me. everyone is so nice but i know everyone just kind of likes the posts and keeps their thoughts to themselves but hearing this stuff makes me so beyond ecstatic. <333 ur the best. so proactive jus like dad <3

yesss hes so manipulative. i try to write him mean(er) sometimes but i physically cannnot because i know he is the whipped in love type. literally just looking for someone to pour his love on. <3

omg yes do send! love reading rafe series <3 and stopppppp i love your long asks i love talking to u sm!!!! i had an okay day but now im in bed about to work on your req so !!! <3 all better. love u bae hope you like it!

[tinnchan]

@thiansong EP 2 THOUGHTS (full ver) better late than never

i hear you crying in pain because of the latest episodes (i've blacklisted the tag but you're THAT loud aksghsks) hope this will manage to bring you back to the times when everything was (relatively) fine 💕

first of all GROWN UP TIAN HIIIIIIIII he is just soooo gentle the way he speaks and acts and dresses everything about him i love him sm 🥺 and yang!!!! he is so cute and literally the best brother and i love that he is fully aware of what their mothers are trying to pull and is actively choosing not to let that affect his relationship with tian

speaking of mothers madam li it's on sight. i understand her motivation and that the way she thinks is very realistic for the era. it makes it worse actually that i get where she's coming from she saw the way her husband and the others treated zhang how easily he was kicked out even though he was his beloved friend and she saw him commit suicide with her own eyes. of course she doesn't want that future for tian. but she is straight up being cruel to her son and from what i gathered it only gets worse later. the fact that he grew up not entirely fucked up is only thanks to yang and bua. when she said he will never be happy if he's like this my heart hurt so bad for tian and for every queer person who ever had to hear something like that from their loved one

the whole sequence with the servant girl made me highly uncomfortable starting with that guy sexualising her and then her sexually assaulting tian after being encouraged by his own mother that was so gross 🤮

to more positive things THE FATEFUL MEETING!!!!!! you've already described it beautifully nads so i don't have much to add but it really isn't easy to make instant connection to work and feel so natural and !!!!!!!! and it was so queer?? and then he saved him!!!! and his shoulder brushed his wound and he gave him his handkerchief!!!!! THE TENDER GAY ROMANCE OF IT ALL

the girl (pim?) is super cute!! also chan is evil and all but i have to say that new hairstyle really suits her 😳

- @ahxu-laowen

Absolutely adore the contrasting personalities of Tian and Yang and how it's exposed so quickly in their introductory scenes. I genuinely think that in a inferior show (or a western show, no offence), they would immediately be bitter/resentful or oblivious to what is happening with the other. But (for now, who knows lol i wont spoil), nothing, not their positions, not their mothers, can come between them.

I want to just keep tian, yang and bua far away from this place, you have no idea.

I DONT WANT TO SPOIL YOU BUT YOU WILL REPEATEDLY WANT TO HIT YOUR WALL AGAINST THE HEAD BECAUSE OF MADAM LI'S LOGIC.

Pin is so beautiful! sometimes, I cannot focus on her scenes because all I see is her! She is so lovely. I am also secretly a Chan stan account.

[izzielizzie]

okay, so i just finished rereading oouin and omg i need to rant about the ending. like the book is really good and everything but the ending is ??????

like first of all: the bomb?? why is there a bomb it seriously came out of nowhere? and that jared jackson guy was rly random character imo, like he came out of nowhere basically, set off a bomb, then we never hear anything about him again?

then second of all nate, i dont even really know why nate was the one to get hurt by the bomb bc he wasn't really a major character? like it would have made sm more sense if it was maeve or knox??

then somehow, after getting hit by a bomb, nate is well enough to go to a wedding the NEXT DAY even though maeve literally says that the arboretum closes at 6 - so presumably the explosion took place much later than 6, so nate had surgery that night and then is just fine and let out of the hospital at what can only be a few hours later??

and then BRONWYN IN THE WEDDING SCENE. why was she so pissy when nate didn't want to dance?? like babes, your boyfriend literally got severely injured last night (protecting her as well) maybe he wants to rest?? seriously the whole book bronwyn was completely out of character and she really annoyed me.

oh my god hi i love this so much.

the bomb was so out of the blue?? like i completely forgot about all the threats bc they weren't touched on? like it was treated as something that just happens to eli and therefore not something to knox to worry about (as sad as it sounds). and jared is so random?? i just feel like this entire plot point came out of left field ngl.

nate did not need to be injured. knox getting his hero arc would have been better. maeve nearly dying after literally telling her sister a couple hours earlier that she was convinced that she wouldn't live past high school so she didn't get close to anyone would be so interesting.

again: when you get literal pieces of bomb shrapnel taken out of you, you are not well enough to go to a wedding the next morning. i wasn't even allowed out of the er when i dislocated my knee for at least twelve hours and that was not a surgery.

bronwyn was the worst at the wedding. if the guy doesn't want to dance then don't dance. go dance with your sister, or your friends, or heck go dance with your parents. i've danced with my dad at tens of weddings when i didn't have anyone else to dance with. and bron has great relationships with her parents that's totally plausible for her to do.

i've said this before and i'll keep saying it bc i'm mad: bronwyn did not need to be in the book at all. cooper was literally just in a different city and he didn't have major scenes. bronwyn was on a different coast. this book was maeve's book. the main couple was maeve and luis. not bronwyn and nate. it made sense for nate to have scenes, he's like maeve's brother. and he works for knox's dad. it made sense for addy to have scenes, her sister was getting married and she lives across the hall from phoebe. it made sense for kris to have a scene because he was watching his boyfriend's baseball game.

also bronwyn was kind of the worst to everyone. she kept telling maeve to apply to college even though maeve clearly has not had a normal high school experience and it might be hard for her to think about that right now. she judged addy for not being organized when the literal wedding planner was stuck in the hospital with her daughter (who had alcohol poisoning). she got mad at nate when he was kissed by jules even though he didn't willingly do that (he was assaulted!!) and bronwyn did willingly hang out with her ex boyfriend. and then she made maeve's cancer scare all about her. there was no reason for her to be upset with maeve for not telling her because maeve was scared out of her mind and she didn't want to hurt bronwyn.

i'm just so upset with the way bronwyn was written in oouin i wish her scenes were replaced with cooper.

[rrxnjun]

hello bar my lovely <3 i'm sending this while my heart is still aching from 'blondes are done with fun' but in all sincerity that was genuinely beautiful...you did such a wonderful job of capturing renjun's character and just. watching him slowly open up made me so fond of him as a character here

(lighthearted parts like these were so adorable) + HYUCK'S CHARACTER IN THIS!! he was annoyingly endearing and really just helped to lift the mood of this entire thing up i'm so in love with him here (that aside, he was a really good plot device for allowing mc and renjun's relationship to develop better)

but also i love how in-depth you went into their thoughts and just. his internal conflict with getting over cheating and how much it hurt him...you genuinely get to witness his growth and it's so? heartwarming in a way. (maybe it's because you're a psychology student) but you're so? intuitive to emotions and bringing it out in words. a lot of stories i've seen don't do the best job of developing the reader but you've done a lovely job of it along with the most wonderful metaphors and just. beautifully-constructed sentences

and your writing just flows so seamlessly from scene to scene... it felt like a movie and i couldn't look away... thank you for this <3

kalli im literally going to cry my eyes out ???? thank you?? so much???? 😭😭😭😭 i am so so glad the characterization of renjun in this fic is so appreciated and that u liked him sm💕 i truly enjoyed writing him in this fic and slowly developing him as a character and making him slowly open up to the reader!!!

AHAHA im glad my attempts at comedy and lightheartedness worked out!! AND ALSO HYUCKS CHARACTER IN THIS WAS SO FUN TO ME i love him sm 😭😭 he was the main star of the fic imo 😻😻 whenever i write hyuck i just think of writing him as the most annoying gemini i can physically and mentally create and it works out every single time. i also enjoyed using him so much for the plot!!

i always say that even tho my fics lack plot sometimes, i never miss w my character development 😌😌 /j SJSJ i am so happy to see u appreciate the thought and emotion that went into the fic💕 AHAHA idk if this is the psychology student in me but i am glad i can use this quality of mine in writing!!! hearing compliments from u just means a lot to me because i think of u so highly as a writer so this is gen such an honor😭😭

once again thank u SO much for reading and for sending me your thoughts ❤ i appreciate it a lot.

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

give me wg headcanons im bored and kinda tired

(trying my best not to unconsciously make this mainly about Becky and Tobey again lol-)

-Becky is the embodiment of "I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start biting people"

-She's radiates burnt out gifted kid energy constantly, but I'm pretty sure that's just canon- /hj

-Becky doesn't really hold back with her certain abilities anymore, since everyone just assumes she's just freakishly strong or fast or whatever, and don't have any idea that she's WordGirl except for Scoops and Violet

-Her mom does know about her secret identity as WordGirl, yes this entirely because of the ending of the Miss Power special because that scene lowkey made me feel something

-Why does it seem like so many people forget that Scoops has a pet pig, I love them sm- anyways I headcanon that his pig tends to act more like a dog in some aspects, and is also an unassuming guard dog

-Tobey is scared of Scoops' pig because it tried to chase him down after the Valentines Day episode, until Scoops calmed it down

-Tobey constantly picks fights that he has no chance of winning because he is just completely feral, although his opponents tend to run away pretty quickly at the sight of an angry looking Becky standing behind him

-Violet and Tobey have a sibling like relationship because I find the idea of them being siblings so funny, and they're both bi solidarity

-Tobey's mom is an overprotective mama bear, and one of the only people able to strike fear into Becky's heart

-Tobey, Violet, and Scoops' relationship with each other is still kinda shaky, but one thing they have in common is that if god forbid someone were to seriously hurt Becky, or at least attempt to then whoever it was better sleep with one eye open, as these three will be trailing after them

-Scoops tends to unintentionally roast Tobey, which both Becky and Violet find hilarious

-Also not really a headcanon but more of a footnote of sorts, but I'm pretty sure I'm one of the only people in the fandom who ships 7-Eleven (aka Becky x Violet x Scoops x Tobey x Victoria x Eileen x Rose but I'm not typing that out everytime I talk about it-) because I'm poly and starved for good polyamorous rep, and because I love the ship name, and just find the idea of all of them being together in a polycule, and just being there and supporting each other makes me want what they have-

[jishouhaku]

Feelings Toward TBHK Characters

I saw someone do this and immediately wanted to do it too. Technically I had this in drafts for a while, so I had to do it over again. 

Nene - I do like Nene and think she’s adorable. She wants to make the people she loves feel better but can also recognize the selfishness in herself. I notice it’s a thing with myself, if a character is IxFP, I tend to not like them very much, but that’s not the case with her. 

Hanako - Absolutely favourite character in the series that I wouldn’t even know where to begin with rambling about. Well, I will say i love his expressions and comedic moments! (I also love his English dub voice, it fits him so well and the acting is soooo good)

Kou - Kind of took me a while to like him but he’s a pretty cool character, he is a little rash at first but capable of coming around the block and I love how he had the idea to make donuts for Hanako but as an idea from Nene - I thought that was so sweet. 

Teru - He’s not evil but he’s not entirely a good guy either. I like how he presents himself but I like how he’s childish and poisoned by hatred (poor mokke...). I would really love for him to get a taste of his own medicine, like his darker side could be revealed to the students and everyone rejects him as punishment. I also hope at some point he could come around the block.

Tiara - Actually I do like Tiara but I don’t really care about her. I think it’s kind of lame she’s just a kid and is so powerful though. Also really AidaIro, I don’t like how closely the Minamotos resemble each other, it feels lazy. 

Nanamine - Nanamine is so mysterious and cool. I’m really drawn to her and curious to know her story. Love her voice and the way she talks. 

Natsuhiko - Ehhhh, he’s okay, he can be funny. I like the bit at the end, “Sayonara, baby” when he and Nene are in that weird limbo space. xD I’m also curious about what will become of him and what his feelings will be towards Sakura when her goal is reached. 

Tsuchigomori - Cool as fuck with a bomb design. I love his interactions with Kou 😭 and I love that despite never being human he’s fine to interact with them and doesn’t seem to bear a grudge like you see from non-human beings in other media. It’s refreshing. I love that he cared about Hanako so much that his suicide/the rock the kid gave him affected him enough to take it as his yorishiro. (I wonder what it was before?)

 Aoi - I have always just been neutral towards her! But it’d be great if she could come back to life and she and what’s his face could be happy.

Akane - I like his design more than I like his character, but it was pretty cool to find out he is half Supernatural. 

Yako - Neutral but I also feel deeply for her. The Misaki Stairs arc just makes me so sad and I hurt seeing how Yako is. I kind of hope she and that one teacher guy could talk or get together. 

Shijima - Shijima my beloved (familial). Her arc, particularly at the end, stirred up so many emotions in me. AidaIro dubbed it an arc that didn’t make sense but it made perfect sense to me. The scene where the “real” SM was in the hospital with those creepy nurses gossiping with false pities was so ominous and yet she just ignored it all. She wanted to be an artist and finish her painting but she died and I’m so sad, but then she made peace with herself and found her way and I teared up and felt so many things. Beautiful character.

Tsukasa - I mean, at first, I liked and was curious about this character, then I felt kind of “eh” about him because of flatness. Then Red House arc came, an arc I don’t care for which ironically made me love Tsukasa but I still echo the complaint he still feels flat and unexplained. Bomb design though. He’s like The Spooky Hanako.

Mitsuba - I like pretty much everyone in this series except character. And it’s niot that I hate him or have strong feelings against him, I just don’t like him. It’s for exactly the reason other characters didn’t, but I also really, really don’t like his voice in either dub or Japanese. His design is pleasant though and a lot of art people make of him is visually nice too. 

[cosmicbells]

Can you write some jealousy headconan (I don't know but I am addicted to those at the moment) for your bds favorites + dazai and how they deal with it. Fem reader, can be fluff or smut. Show me that ✨chef's kiss✨

um OF COURSE I CAN (sorry this is so late my semester just started so i’ve been so busy) (also lowkey did more characters than i anticipated but idc i love them all)

dazai

✧ this child, this demon, he gets so fucking petty if he sees another guy flirting with you

✧ he will make an entire fucking scene wherever you two are just because he cannot help himself

✧ “my precious belladonna! how could you let another man woo you like so when i’m right here? how could you hurt your beautiful boyfriend when you promised we could partake in a double suicide together?”

✧ you would have to literally drag him back to the agency before he gets anymore complaints from citizens in yokohama

✧ the only way this man child will forgive you is if you shower him in praise and kisses, telling him how he’s the only one for you

✧ only then he will be satisfied by your answer, moving on to boast about how beautiful his precious girlfriend is

kunikida

✧ honestly it depends on the day with this man

✧ he is so secure with your relationship that he practically encourages whoever is trying to flirt with you to keep going

✧ he’s well aware you and him are loyal to each other and no other person could change that

✧ however, on days where dazai has pissed him off more than usual, kunikida will become furious if he sees anyone so much as hint at flirting with you

✧ puts a stop to it immediately and will drag you all the way back to his apartment

✧ the only thing that will make him feel better is roughly fucking you against the wall until the only thing you’re capable of doing is wailing his name into the night

ranpo

✧ he turns into such a baby if he sees anyone trying to flirt with you

✧ makes it his life’s purpose to hang onto you and interrupt the conversation, whining about how he needs love from his girlfriend

✧ “babyyyy i need snacks and some loooove. can we go home pleaseeee”

✧ will be attached to your side for the rest of the day, and the agency is always made well aware of when this happens

✧ he will take you back to the agency for an hour just to whine to fukuzawa about how someone tried to take his love away from him

✧ he does this while forcing you to sit in his lap so he can wrap his arms around you and bury his face into your neck afterwards (adorable bean i love him sm)

chuuya

✧ you better hope to god that chuuya doesn’t catch anyone trying to flirt with you, because he gets mad and he does it fast

✧ good fucking luck to anyone trying to flirt with you in the first place because if chuuya sees this, it’s like a switch is snapped and he goes ballistic

✧ attacks them so fast that neither of you see it happen until the person is on the floor with a broken nose

✧ chuuya is already dragging you away though, and once you two are in an abandoned alleyway he will hate fuck you until you’re a crying mess

✧ the entire time all he can say is “mine” and then proceeds to cover your entire neck and chest in dark purple hickeys

✧ then proceeds to parade you around the entire building where headquarters is just to announce that you’re his and only his (possessive mf)

oda

✧ you cannot find someone who would be less jealous than our boy odasaku

✧ it takes so much to even get him the tiniest bit jealous, he’s more secure with your relationship than kunikida is

✧ if he sees someone flirting with you, he will barely react, only really hold your hand because he likes the physical contact

✧ however, if he sees someone else lay a hand on you in a flirty manner, his patience breaks just a tiny bit

✧ he doesn’t wait to see what else they’ll do, instead he’ll just turn your head towards him and kiss you gently, with just enough pressure to have your head spinning

✧ will murmur into your ear asking if you want to leave, then stare down whoever was flirting with you as you two walk away, oda’s arm over your shoulder

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Fourteen

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: my quickest AND longest update to date?? who am i??

merry christmas for real this time. thank you sm for reading i never voice my appreciation for yall but it’s there i swear

tw: abuse mention

***

Cassian’s plan to grab his stuff and get the hell back home is intercepted by Feyre, who pulls him aside and proceeds to spill everything about her fight with Nesta to him.

His heart hurts for Feyre—he of all people knows what it’s like to feel unwanted by your biological family. But what did she really think would happen? Their entire friend group is about placing chosen bonds over blood bonds. Feyre can’t be that offended if Nesta prefers the company of her friends over her little sisters. And trying to talk to Nesta about her therapy? Jesus.

But Cassian has a feeling it’ll take both Feyre and Elain a long spelling out of things before they can begin to understand Nesta the way he does, and he doesn’t have time for that right now. He’s too distracted to even provide the comfort Feyre came to him for.

Somehow, he makes up an excuse and detaches himself from the conversation, leaving to find his coat and keys. Azriel spies him on the way to the door and gives him a look.

“Not a fucking word,” Cassian growls as he passes. Everyone else is engrossed in a game of poker and getting progressively more drunk. Feyre now sits on Rhys’s lap, once again content. Azriel only smirks but shakes his head, letting Cassian slip out of the penthouse unnoticed.

He takes the long way home, needing the night air and flashing headlights to clear his head. Once he gets off the freeway leading to town, though, he picks up his phone and calls Nesta.

She doesn’t pick up.

On the fourth call that goes unanswered, Cassian gives up. Fine. She doesn’t want to talk to him tonight. But still he finds himself driving past her neighborhood, once, twice, as if he’s listless without being able to talk to her. He has too many feelings he needs to get off his chest, and she’s the first person he always goes to for those things.

Try to consider her feelings.

It’s that thought that forces him to turn around and drive back to the cabin. They’ll both feel better in the morning, anyway. He can find her and talk as soon as the day starts.

It’s past midnight when he finally pulls up to the driveway, and still he’s disappointed to not see Nesta’s car there. Still he’s disappointed to enter an empty cabin.

The Christmas tree they decorated together sits unlit in the corner of the living room, their presents untouched under the fir leaves. Without turning the lights on, Cassian trudges upstairs and heads straight to bed.

Any sleep he finds is short and restless. His eyes shut sometime around three in the morning, and when they next open, early dawn light is streaming in through the windows. Snow flurries gently against the glass.

Giving up on the prospect of genuine rest, Cassian accepts that he’ll have to seek out Nesta with dark circles and a half-functioning brain today.

He already has a list in his mind as he heads downstairs: get coffee and breakfast for Nesta, get dressed, be at her door by the time she wakes at nine.

Then he reaches the foot of the stairs, and realizes none of that is necessary.

Straight out of his dreams, Nesta is sitting cross-legged on the ground before the coffee table, inspecting a puzzle piece in the cutest sweater he’s ever seen.

Cassian freezes with his hand on the banister, wondering if he’s still asleep. He watches her bite her lip intently, trying to fit the puzzle piece into a corner of the puzzle. It doesn’t fit.

“Fuck,” she swears softly, tossing the piece aside. Cassian clears his throat.

Nesta’s head shoots up, her focus broken. “You’re awake.”

“You’re in my house,” he says dumbly.

“That’s what the key you gave me is for, isn’t it?”

Hesitantly, like he’s approaching a wounded bear, Cassian walks farther into the living room. “Are you—I mean, are we…?”

“Use your words, baby.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. She doesn’t seem upset. There’s so much he wants to ask her: did she sleep well? Where did she get her Christmas sweater from, and does it mean she’s secretly been a fan of Christmas all along? Does she want hot chocolate or coffee with her breakfast?

“How was your night?” he settles on. He moves to sit across from her at the coffee table.

“Find where this goes,” Nesta demands, handing him a new puzzle piece and pointing to their nearly finished puzzle.

Cassian obeys, and Nesta talks while he works. “I was pretty pissed when I got home last night,” she says. “I wanted to tell you all about this stupid fight I had with my boyfriend, and how I knew he was right but I was still furious at him, until I remembered that you were my boyfriend, and I didn’t want to see you.”

Cassian pretends to focus on the puzzle, letting Nesta get her words out.

“So Gwyn called to say thank you for her present—you were right, by the way, she loves it—and then we ended up talking the whole night, and I told her everything about my sisters and,” she waves a hand, “the other shit.

“And at one point I realized that I was telling her the stuff I needed to be telling you. So I came here as soon as I hung up with Gwyn.”

Cassian looks up. “When was that?”

Nesta shrugs. “Five in the morning?”

“Nesta,” he scolds. “You’ll fuck up your sleep cycle.”

“Will you let me get to my point, damn it?”

Cassian shuts up and sits back.

Nesta is staring down at the puzzle, fiddling with her fingernails. Carefully selecting her next words like an attorney would. “I wanted to apologize for—the things I said last night. I was projecting my insecurities onto you, and I’m sure you already know it, but that doesn’t make it okay.” She looks up, face serious. “My sisters and I bring out the worst in each other. We always have. But I let that affect how I treated you when you had nothing to do with it.”

“But you were right.” Cassian can’t stay quiet anymore. “I mean, a lot of what you said was wrong, but at the heart of your point you were right.” It took Cassian all night to sift through what Nesta had said, to separate the truth from the meaningless words of hurt. He finally sees it now.

“I should have watched out for you last night, even if I couldn’t claim you as my girlfriend. I know how you are in new environments with new people and I left you to the wolves.” The wolves are his most trusted friends, sure, but they aren’t Nesta’s. And he was an idiot to forget it.

Nesta fixes another puzzle piece into place, and for the first time this morning, true regret passes over her face. “I didn’t enjoy hurting you. I hated every second of it while I was doing it. So as long as you know I didn’t mean any of it, I’ll be fine.”

We were good distractions for each other in your lonely little cabin, but deep down you know we wouldn’t last a day in the real world.

You were sad and desperate for acknowledgement when we first met, and you’re the same way now.

Cassian nods once. “I know,” he says softly. “You could never lie to me.” Even if some of her words had struck a little truer than they should have. Cassian realizes bitterly it’s because her insecurities are the same as his.

“So are you going to tell me about what the real problem was yesterday?” He dares to broach the elephant in the room.

Nesta stiffens, refocusing on the puzzle to avoid his gaze. “I already told you,” she says. “My sisters and I bring out the worst in each other.”

“There’s more to it than that, though.” When Nesta doesn’t respond, he adds, “Feyre told me her side of the story. It probably wasn’t all of it, but if it makes you feel better, I agreed with you.”

Nesta snorts derisively. “She was being unreasonable, but I made it worse. You know that, don’t you?” She raises a brow. “You know how I am.”

Cassian remembers their screaming match from the time he tried to get her a doctor’s appointment, and oddly enough, smiles. “I know you hate it,” he says, “and I know it’s frustrating as hell, but people stop taking your arguments seriously when you start flinging insults. It probably isn’t fair, but you’ve been in a courtroom. You know how it works.”

Nesta grimaces. “Believe me, the future lawyer in me is not proud of how I held up in last night’s fight.”

“Right there.” Cassian slides a section of green pieces over to himself and fits them into place, completing the rolling hills of the landscape scene. There’s only a handful of pieces left, all in the sky area. He waits for Nesta to be ready to speak.

After several moments of working in silence, she says, “My sisters have never really accepted me the way I am. I used to think Elain did back when we were kids, but then I stopped prioritizing her and she stopped understanding.”

Cassian knows Elain is pissed that her once-closest sister no longer cares to talk to her. But what he wants to know is why Nesta stopped answering her calls. Why she pulled away and went into isolation, and wouldn’t come out for anyone until a few short months ago.

Nesta clears her throat. “I was not a well-adjusted kid. I’m not a well-adjusted adult, either, but—I was even worse in my youth. I had a deadbeat dad, who I hated while my sisters adored him. I hated the life we had to live because of him, and I let that hate seep everywhere. Into everything and everyone else.” She blows out a breath and shakes her head. “There was no place closer to hell than that fucking one-bedroom apartment. I hated the person I was in that place—like I had no control over my emotions, my tantrums, my entire self. I was stuck in this childlike state of rage and I couldn’t move on, couldn’t grow up.

“No one could figure out what was wrong with me, so I had to take care of my issues myself. I read more books, I went out more often, I always had headphones in—I learned how to escape. I learned how to limit the destruction. Once I did that, I could care for Elain more openly. I could have civil conversations with Feyre, too. That’s where we went wrong, I think. I gave Feyre hope that I could be a better person, and once she latched onto it, she refused to let go.” Nesta picks at the sleeves of her knit sweater. “She never understood that I was cold and removed just because I was. She always had this belief that deep down, I secretly had a heart of gold and a shit ton of love to give. I never bothered telling her she was wrong, so her expectations of me grew. And so did Elain’s. And then I graduated high school.” She shrugs.

Cassian frowns. “That’s when you left your family and moved here?”

She nods. “The distance helped. For a short time, I thought I was free. No responsibilities or people to answer to. But then I met Tomas—my ex—and Feyre and Elain followed me to Colorado not long after my dad died. And even then I stayed optimistic, because most people would be lucky to have their sisters and boyfriend all in the same place. I thought I could finally have all the relationships a normal person my age was supposed to have if I just put in the effort.” She meets Cassian’s eyes. “I never told you much about Tomas, did I?”

His stomach sinks, but he shakes his head.

“It was not a fun first love. But the only reason I didn’t tell you about it earlier was because I didn’t know how to describe it myself.” She rubs her palms down her thighs, but it isn’t enough to hide their tremble.

“I know what to call it now,” Nesta says. “It was abusive.”

Cassian says nothing. He can’t. But his hands curl into hard fists under the coffee table.

“Lana made me work up to using that word.” She rolls her eyes, like the whole thing annoys and embarrasses her. “He was abusive: physically, verbally, emotionally. I’m not going to go into the details or anything, but it’s what was happening to me during those college years that my sisters needed me to be there for them.”

Cassian would never in a thousand years ask Nesta for information she isn’t ready to give, but in that moment he’s overwhelmed with the need to know everything—every little thing that’s ever been done to her, so he can draw up a list and exact calculated revenge for all of it. His voice is rough against the lump in his throat, out of fury or despair he doesn’t know. “Nesta…”

“I promise I’m almost done.” She holds up a hand.

Take your time. Tell me everything.

“This isn’t about him,” Nesta says. “This is about my sisters. Because even if I hadn’t been stupid enough to let that man waste almost four years of my life, I would have ended up in the same place with Feyre and Elain. They’d still be disappointed when they realized I couldn’t be what they wanted me to be.” She wraps her arms around herself in a hug, and Cassian wishes he’d sat beside her so those could be his arms.

She shakes her head. “I did my best so I wouldn’t be cooped up with them, wouldn’t be lashing out at them… and it still wasn’t enough. They wanted me to be nice, friendly, talkative. So I tried doing that too, even though I hated it. But around the same time things with Tomas started to get unbearable, Feyre found Rhysand and you guys. So now I had to hang out with my sister while she had a group of strangers constantly surrounding her, and go back home to a man who hated me at the end of the day.” She looks up at Cassian then, and her blue-gray gaze hits him with the force of a truck. “As soon as Feyre moved away to Velaris, I saw my way out. I finally broke up with Tomas. I gave up on all my relationships and I let go, and I don’t care if you or anyone else thinks it’s pathetic, or the bare minimum. It’s all I had to give.”

Cassian swallows roughly, unable to find his words. “It’s not pathetic, Nesta,” he finally says. “There’s nothing pathetic about doing what doesn’t come easily to you.”

There’s a million other things he needs to say to her, to make sure that she knows she isn’t stupid, or embarrassing, or not enough. But it all floats right out of his head when she heaves a big, dramatic sigh, as if a great weight has been lifted off her chest. As if Cassian’s measly words were all she needed to hear to feel alright.

She snatches up the final remaining puzzle piece and clicks it into place. “And we’re done,” she declares.

Cassian looks down at the table between them, which is now fully lit by the beaming morning sun outside. His eyes land on an empty space near the corner of the landscape, and his face falls. “There’s a piece missing,” he says.

“No way, where?” Nesta leans closer.

Cassian is already on his hands and knees, checking under and around the table for the missing piece.

“This is all your fault,” Nesta is saying above him. “You bumped into the table that time we were making out and all those pieces went flying.”

“Well, how fucking far could it have gone? Help me find it.” He’s serious now, searching the floor with intent. They can’t leave the puzzle unfinished. It was the only thing he could find in his garage all those months ago that could distract Nesta from anticipating her MRI results. And after the diagnosis, it had been a way to lift her mood, to give the two of them an excuse to spend every evening together—

“Sweetheart, it’s just a puzzle.”

Cassian sits up straight at that. “Just a puzzle?” He narrows his eyes at her.

“Well, it’s either that or an overextended metaphor for our relationship—are you crying?”

“No.” He blinks quickly. If there’s wetness there, he doesn’t know how Nesta glimpsed it.

He’s had a hard twelve hours. Nesta even more so. “I just feel really bad, about last night and everything else.” Because even if she acts like what she just spilled to him isn’t a big deal, he’ll never forget it.

He looks up to find Nesta laughing. Hand-over-her-mouth cackling. Before he can ask what’s wrong with her, she’s climbing up onto the coffee table, breaking up the puzzle and sending pieces scattering as she crawls across it. “Nesta—” he starts to protest.

She drops into his lap, winding her arms and legs around his powerful body. And she leans in and kisses him, long and deep and sweet. His hands settle into the curve of her hips, where they’ve always fit perfectly.

She breaks the kiss to fit her palm to his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she says. She never says that. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Her lips quirk up teasingly, but real guilt from the night before lingers in her eyes. Cassian realizes in that moment that Nesta could never hurt anybody more than she hurts herself.

“Don’t waste your apologies on me.” He nudges her nose with his. “Save them for people who’ll actually need to hear them.”

A real smile starts to bloom on her face. “I’ll try.”

Pride and love take his breath away, but he manages to say, “Thank you. For sharing so much of yourself with me.”

She makes an embarrassed noise and waves him off, but emotion shines in her eyes. Just to spare her, Cassian changes the subject. “Now what in the world are you wearing?”

She glances down at herself, frowning. “You don’t like it?”

“I love it.” The sweater looks hand knit, bright red with a green Christmas tree in the center. Balls of colorful fuzz decorate the tree as ornaments. “I want you to wear it every day,” he says.

“Over my dead body. I’d rather you help me take it off.”

Nesta’s hips feel especially snug against his as heat rushes to his crotch. She smirks like she caught him on a hook and leans in to whisper, “You look tired. Did you stay up thinking about my dress last night?”

Cassian swallows roughly. It might have crossed his mind a few times—not just the dress, but the fact that she had picked it out for him. He didn’t know that Nesta cared about things like that.

She rubs a thumb under his weary and reddened eyes. “After your anger faded, did you think about all the make-up sex we were going to have? Because I did.”

“Nesta,” he groans, dropping his head to rest against her chest. Either she plays him too well or he’s too easy to play, because Cassian is half a second away from damning everything to hell and dragging her to the living room carpet.

Until Nesta’s stomach growls loudly.

That’s when he remembers: it’s Christmas morning, he’s with the love of his life, and they’re both starving and sleep-deprived.

He looks up to find her eyes screwed shut in frustration. Before she can protest, he warns, “Don’t even think about it.” He pats her thighs. “Let’s get some food in you.”

***

Cassian makes them chocolate chip pancakes, and Nesta, feeling clingier than usual today, hangs piggyback off his body the entire time he cooks. She hasn’t slept in almost twenty-four hours, yet she feels like she was born anew this morning.

In the middle of breakfast, Cassian’s phone vibrates. He hardly even glances at it before turning it over.

“Who was it?” Nesta asks through a mouthful of pancakes. She hasn’t asked him about how his own night went, but she expects that his friends will want to call and talk to him at some point today.

“Feyre,” he says without looking at her. “She asked where I went last night.”

“Why’re you ignoring her?” She raises a brow.

Cassian looks a little surprised. “I thought we were mad at her.”

“No.” Nesta sets her fork down. “I’m mad at her. What’s your excuse?”

He shrugs. “Solidarity. I’m mad that you had your Christmas Eve ruined. I know what it took you just to show up there.”

“You’re the only one that knows.” Nesta supposes that not everything has been cleared up with Cassian after all. “Listen,” she tries to soften her blunt tone. “Whatever is between me and my sisters… you don’t need to concern yourself with it. You’ll never have to choose sides between us.”

He watches her closely, carefully. “Even if I want to defend my girlfriend?”

Her stomach flutters at that inconsequential word, but she doesn’t show it. “Even then. Feyre looks at you like an older brother. I’m sure Elain does too, a little bit. Don’t let me get in the way of that.” He probably feels guilty every time he texts Feyre, the loyal bastard.

Cassian looks at his plate, then nods resolutely. “I can do that.” He adds a moment later, “For what it’s worth, I do get where the girls are coming from. Even if they had a shit way of going about it.” His eyes darken as he remembers.

Nesta doesn’t know what he was told about the fight, but she chuckles at his moody face anyway. “I expected you to. You’ve always loved spending time with your family, and you’ve never known anything different. But the reality is this: the closeness you have between you and your brothers isn’t something that can be forced onto every group of siblings. And the more Feyre and Elain try to force it, the more I push against it.”

“It sounds stifling.” His face is open, understanding. “To feel like you’re always too much but never enough.”

Nesta pauses, stunned. Cassian is almost too empathetic sometimes, like he carries a thousand past lives within him. Maybe he spent his time learning Nesta by heart in those lives.

Or maybe she’s getting too damn sentimental. She chokes out a dismissive laugh, going back to her pancakes. “Just text Feyre back. Then we can have the rest of the day to ourselves.”

***

Late morning brings heavy snowfall and a chill that infiltrates the walls of the cabin. The Christmas tree in the living room is lit—something Cassian didn’t notice earlier when he came downstairs to find Nesta in his house. Realizing that she’s the one who lit it up first thing in the morning does something to his chest, but he pushes the feeling down where it can’t scare Nesta away.

The weight of the past day must finally catch up to her, though, because by the time Cassian finishes lighting the fireplace, she’s knocked out asleep on the couch.

“No makeup sex then, Nes?” he says softly. Getting up from the hearth, he goes to pull the fur couch throw over her body. Cassian settles at the end of the couch near her feet, taking care so she doesn’t wake, and picks up his laptop from the coffee table. He’s been slacking with his work ever since he got with Nesta, and he might as well catch up on it now before Rhysand takes notice.

The first email that pops up in his inbox is a corporate reminder about the annual New Year’s Eve fundraiser gala, hosted in some high-class hotel in Denver this year. Cassian reads the email once, twice, three times before reaching for his phone.

Rhys answers on the first ring. “Oh, so you don’t hate us,” he drawls.

“What?” Cassian is confused.

“Because with the way you’ve been acting at family events lately, one would have reason to think you don’t want to be around your family much.”

“Oh—no, this isn’t about that.” Cassian refuses to let Rhys linger on this topic. “I called about the New Year’s party.”

“What about it?” he says. “Other than that tacky hotel.”

Cassian decides to spit it out. “I’m not coming.”

Rhys is stunned silent over the line for a moment. “What do you mean, you’re not coming?” Cassian never misses company events, no matter how much he hates dressing up and driving out to the city to schmooze with donors.

But too many of his holidays have gone to Rhys instead of Nesta this year, and he finds himself unwilling to give more.

“I’ve been stressed as hell lately,” he lies, trying to stay quiet for Nesta. “I’m always the one driving hours to see everyone else, and I can’t go all the way out to Denver for another party. I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit,” Rhys responds. “You have nothing going on at work and nothing going on outside of it. What could you be stressed about?”

Cassian makes a mental note to find a hobby that doesn’t include his brothers, if only so he can use it as an excuse to spend time with his secret girlfriend in the future. For now, he has to settle with the truth. “I can’t tell you.”

It’s a petty card to play, but it’s a valid one. No matter how nosy his family might be, they know how to back off when a line is drawn, no explanation required.

Rhys’s voice softens. “Is it serious? Is it a health issue?”

Cassian nearly laughs, even though he feels bad for making Rhys worry. “No, nothing like that. But I still can’t come.”

“What can I do to make it easier for you?” Rhys tries again. “New Year’s isn’t the same without all of my family in one place.”

Cassian snorts. “Come over to my place then.” He says it half-jokingly, but then Rhys doesn’t answer, as if he’s thinking.

“The gala guest list is too big to fit in the cabin…” he ponders. “But I guess I could have it narrowed down at the last minute. The Mayfairs certainly won’t be happy about it, though.”

Cassian’s eyes widen, and he looks over at Nesta’s sleeping form. “Uh…” He scrambles for something to get him out of this.

“New Year’s at a luxury cabin, all of us reuniting at your home for the first time in months? I love it,” Rhys declares. “Better than fucking Denver, that’s for sure.”

Cassian coughs, then covers it up with a forced chuckle. “I’ll have the place ready by next week.”

The call is over before he knows it, and all he can do is stare at the phone in his hand wondering what the hell just happened.

You didn’t entirely lose, he thinks to himself. You’re spending New Year’s with Nesta.

Yeah—New Year’s with Nesta and his entire family. He drops his head back against the couch and groans quietly.

***

Nesta wakes up late in the afternoon to Cassian presenting her with a mug of eggnog and bad news about New Year’s Eve.

The idea of another party, especially one with her sisters present, so soon after the last one makes Nesta’s very bones ache. But she supposes she’ll just have to take the next week to recover and prepare, because she isn’t missing out on a holiday with Cassian for anything.

The way she’s started romanticizing simple things like the new year should probably alarm her, but it doesn’t.

They sit down to open presents with the TV playing lowly in the background. It’s nothing serious, and Nesta isn’t expecting to get anything much until she unwraps her present.

It’s a vinyl record packaged in an elaborate sleeve with the words Nesta’s Mix etched across it. She slowly pulls the record out of the sleeve, staring at it. “What’s this?”

“It’s called a vinyl.”

She spears him with a look. “I got that. What’s on it?”

Cassian turns sheepish, sprawled out across from her on the carpet. “I stalked your Spotify to figure out what you listen to. Then I made a playlist based off what I thought you’d like and got it turned into vinyl. It’s all new music…” He trails off at the look on her face. “But if you hate it, the B-side has your favorite songs on there. You can listen to it either way.”

“I don’t hate it.” Nesta blinks her burning eyes rapidly, staring down at the gift in her hands. She’s not used to receiving thoughtful gifts—or pricey ones. “Thank you,” she says plainly, trying to let her feelings speak for themselves in those two words. “I love it.” She knows she should be saying more, damn it, but what can she say?

Cassian reaches out to put a hand on her knee, his thumb stroking circles across her leg. She looks up at him and realizes she doesn’t need words. Leaning forward, she lands a kiss on his cheek and can only hope that it’s sufficient. “Where am I going to play it?” she asks.

“I was close to getting you a record player when I remembered I already have one. I’ve never used it in my life.” He looks at her more gently now. “So it’s basically yours.”

Nesta’s chest tightens painfully. Not because he’s giving the record player to her, but because he’s suggesting they own it together.

“My present is going to look so stupid next to yours,” she says quietly.

Cassian grins. “Now I really need to see it.”

Nesta buries her head in her hands in humiliation while he tears open the wrapping paper of his gift, and only looks up when she hears him laugh aloud.

He’s holding a copy of one of Nesta’s favorite romances, and the first of many of her books that he’s ever stolen from her and read. He turns the vintage paperback around in his hands. “I remember this one. I totally had a sex dream about it.” He gazes in reminiscence at the busty blonde on the cover.

Nesta snorts, but scoots closer to him eagerly. “Look inside.”

He flips it open to find dark scribbles along the margins, in every single margin.

“I annotated it,” Nesta says hesitantly. “With my thoughts and analysis on each scene. It’s probably dumb to critically analyze a ninetie’s erotica novel, but I thought you’d find it funny.”

Cassian is flipping through the pages more slowly now, taking his time to read each one. “I don’t think it’s funny,” he says after a moment, his eyes still on the book. “I think it’s more than anything I could have asked for.”

“Well, that’s a bit dramatic for a romance book—”

“Not the book.” He looks up at her with something in his eyes. “It’s all your thoughts.” He looks back at the book in wonder. “Written out for me in detail to keep.”

He starts to smirk, searching for a specific page. “I already know how you feel about the boat scene, but now I need to read about it.”

Nesta makes a noise of protest, grabbing for the book. “Don’t spoil the good parts yet.” She can hardly believe it. He finds her joke present good. “You always spoil the good parts first and get sad about it later.”

He makes a face. “True.” He lowers the book, growing serious. “Nesta.” He clears his throat, and her heart starts pounding. She can hear the words before he says them—

“You’re a really good gift giver.”

Nesta’s breath shudders out of her, in relief or disappointment she doesn’t know. Cassian is still staring at her in amazement, and she can only respond by throwing herself at him, her arms holding him tight.

He doesn’t falter under her weight, but pulls her closer. “Thank you,” he says into her ear.

She pulls back far enough to see him. His beautiful face is outlined with too many emotions for her to read, yet somehow she knows exactly what he’s feeling.

Overwhelmed, she leans in to place a soft kiss above his upper lip, then on his mouth. “Merry Christmas,” she whispers against his lips.

“Merry Christmas, Nesta.”

***

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[akkpipitphattana]

Hi, could you rank the seasons in order of couples/pairings who had the most chemistry and the best development? My order is s5, s3, s2, s4, s6, s1. Isi and Sascha could have been something but they're unsinkable bcuz the season sucked and everything suffered as a result of it. On a lighter note, Kiki and carlos would be my no.1 if they had their own season.

ooo okay, this is a really good question!!! also love how you didn’t even add s7 to your list skdkskd they’re that bad <3 first of all, i’m not gonna rank based on chemistry because development and chemistry i feel like are two VERY different things and chemistry is a really hard thing to measure… not to mention i do genuinely believe that all the druck couples have really good chemistry, even including sascha and isi, and that’s not necessarily a reflection of my personal feelings of the couple or even their development, but on the actors and their chemistry irl lmao

now, for a ranking of most to least developed:

s5 - honestly i think spiderwitz might be the most well-developed couple in the entire skamverse skdkek and maybe that’s a little biased but i also genuinely feel like nora’s season as a whole is one of, if not THE, most well written season in the skamverse as well. i truly don’t have any complaints about s5 or spiderwitz as a couple. like just everything from the mystery boy set up building that anticipation to when they first meet, to nora kissing him for the first time and him not letting her because he can see she’s hurting (also that episode literally being called cold kisses???), to the rooftop scene after and them having their REAL first kiss after, and then her pushing josh away when she feels numb and him!!! refusing to let her!!! and her telling josh she doesn’t feel anything for him anymore and saying she’s just gonna hurt him and him saying he’ll take it 😭😭😭😭 AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE “I CAN FEEL YOU”/MINUTE BY MINUTE SCENE!!! god they’re development and story is just truly so beautiful i love them sm

s6 - okay i realize you put them much lower on your list, and while i do get that to a certain extent and they would likely be lower on mine if we were talking about just their specific season bc i do have my issues with some of the way things were handled in s6… they are higher because of the additional development we got for them in s5. s5 did a great job of setting up fatou’s season and the kieutou plotline, and i do also think that in s6 they had some pretty great development throughout as well. it was just really beautiful to get to see them grow, especially kieu my and how she went from brushing off their new years kiss to climbing fatou’s roof to get to her like :’) and then we also get background s7 cuteness and who could ask for more 😌

s3 - they’re an evak, so kind of my default they tend to be well-developed hskdjd but also druck’s version of s3 is very different from the og and i was really impressed with the way they did s3! obviously i don’t love what they did with david’s outing, but beyond that i do really love the decision to make him trans and i loved the way that their story specifically was handled! they’re one of my favorite evaks and i absolutely loved the fact that their development in s4 basically just included them being happy in the background rather than some unnecessary drama skdkdkd

s4 - again, they’re a yousana, it’s kind of a default that they’re well developed. i loved the introduction of mohammed in the special episode, and just all their little moments throughout the season as a whole. they’re such a sweet couple, and the reason they’re lower isn’t because they’re less developed so much that the others are more developed since we got more time with all the others (😐)

s2 - dude i just don’t like noorhelms sjdkskd like i think druck’s s2 is one of the better ones, not because alex is necessarily better than william, but because they took the original plot lines and made them fit in a way that made more sense? like having kiki explicitly say that she doesn’t want mia dating alex and then having mia RUN TO HIM?? and then kiki finding out and her being so rightfully upset?? like it was actually really well done and it made mia more of a flawed character than noora, who was supposed to be seen as perfect in a way. that being said, i just really don’t love the way that they were developed because like with any other noorhelm, falling for someone who did and is actively doing such horrible things to your best friend (especially alex dude, like he said REALLY shitty things to kiki when they were “dating”) does not make any sense to me. also the fact that they were actually like a relatively okay noorhelm after their season and they still got a breakup out of nowhere doesn’t sit right with me either even if we’re not counting post-their season skdkekd

s1 - okay heaaaaaaar me out: i think these two are also extremely well-developed in s1…. it just doesn’t end in a relationship and that’s why in terms of a relationship, they’re lower skdkekd and if we’re were talking about the show as a whole, it would be number two baby, because i jonas and hanna are my favorite joneva because of how they’re developed the rest of the show skdkskd like the scene where he gives her her nose back in s4??? tears!!! but yeah, as it stands in s1, their relationship was well developed, but it obviously ended in a breakup (rightfully so, it makes sense for the way things WERE developed)

s7 - there was literally no buildup for them sjdkekd like they are literally one of the worst developed ships in the entire skamverse, it’s actually insane. the duality of druck to have the best and worst developed couple, both in their new gen?? honestly impressive. like isi was literally interested in someone else for the first half of the season 😭😭😭 and we never had an inkling as to the fact that she actually liked isi like??? they make no sense to me. like sure they have cute moments and i’m a best friends to lovers bitch, but they have no fucking development i can’t

[theobxhummingbird]

A helpless moment when you found me. -Luke Patterson x Reader.

Summary: It all starts with a few cups of orange juice, and ends with 1 liter of tears. Luke Patterson needs to find a way of winning her back into his life.

A/N: @beautifulblogsblog enjoy this little emotional Luke x Reader imagine, my very very emotional self put together. Thank you for suggesting this story. 🤗🤗

(GIF CREDIT TO OWNER)

It all started, when Sunset Curve started to get known by bigger audience. All the teenage girls were crazy over the four, cute boys; they even got called on TV to promote their album; sold t-shirts and played a few shows out of town. All in all, the bandmates succeeded in making it to the side of the buses, or on the lock screens of many phones.

Luke’s dream was to have his music, listened by many people around the world; and it worked, which had him talk about it for days. And it was all going well with him, until everything about his music career started to blind him. Bobby, Reggie and Alex were doing great, not too much dedicated into the music, well, not as much as Luke. It touched him so much, the need of his music being heard, as well as his name, that he even freshly made up from a fight with his mum. Emily and Mitch were understanding parents. At the beginning, they didn’t accept the idea of his 17-year-old son, playing in a rock band, but when they all sat down to talk about it, the wild waters calmed, and they were able to speak the same language.

 Luke, wasn’t only lucky to have two amazingly supportive and understanding people in his life, but one more, who always had the time to sit down and listen to what he had to let out of his heart. She, who was his first text in the morning, and last text at night; she, who was his few missed calls; she, who was the whole sunshine he could need in his life. She, who loved him with her entire heart; more than herself. He was thankful. He was so thankful, until she became the person that would wait for him to text first or call first, rather than bothering him. She became the place he’d come to, if he needed a person to tell all his matters to. But what she became, that caused her the entire pain in the world, was becoming the one who always waited for him at the table they reserved for their date.

And, together with his promise of never letting her hanging again, Y/N hopefully waited at the table. Her sixth ordered cup of orange juice, had the orange line at the bottom of the cup, letting the waiter know, she had finished another one. Other than a big vase of flowers, and empty eating supplies; that once used to be filled with delicious food, now there was nobody else at the table. She checked the time, and he was now four hours late.

The amount of respect and love Y/N had for Luke, kept her sat on that chair for four hours. And she wouldn’t have even moved, if it wasn’t for the waiter who let her know that there’s a couple that reserved the table after them. She managed to pay him for the drinks, and her trembling body made it out of the now, least favorite restaurant on her list of date places she and Luke went to; well if he came, they would’ve had a great time and she wouldn’t have to put it at the least favorites, just like the one he left her the last time.

With the second time of leaving her hanging, Y/N thought he’d learned from the mistake he made and they wouldn’t need to argue with each other. This---this was another disrespect for her, and God knew where he was. No text, nor calls appeared from him, and it made her more worried, than mad that night.

And like for every person, there’s times where unluckiness catches us in a trap. Suddenly, all that happens that day or night, is bad. It not only ruins our day/night, but it ruins our life and us in whole. It started to pour. Immediately, it soaked Y/N to her bones, and the only escape she had, was to run in those puddles that formed in the cracks of the pavement, and hide under and awning of a bar that was not too far from where she was. Y/N pulled the sides of her jacket towards each other, trying to warm herself, by blowing and rubbing her hands together. The bar seemed to still be opened, but she couldn’t really be sure because it was hard to see from the foggy window. She wiped away the fogginess with her elbow, revealing a surprising picture; one, she couldn’t really believe. Luke, Reggie, Alex and Bobby, all gathered around a girl. Her hair strands, were stuck to her face, and her face was traced with water lines, but not from the rain; she was now, fully in tears. As if four hundred knives were stabbed in her back, Y/N turned her back, and stepped out in the rain---after what she saw, there was nothing that could hurt her more.

She was a slave to the heartache, and it controlled her in every way. Y/N’s broken figure, entered the empty hallway of her home, but luckily her parents were asleep to even see her in that state. And it was for their and her best, even Luke’s, because they were very protective over their daughter. She didn’t even change into pajamas, neither did she dry her hair. The covers were pulled over her body, and she was fast asleep, getting the warmth, of her cold body and warm breathing.

Like others say though, the mother instinct is never wrong. She was fast awake when she heard the doors open. Tip toeing away from her sleeping husband, so he doesn’t argue about leaving their so in love daughter, to live her teenage love years, she slowly opened the door of Y/N’s room. She quietly gasped at the state she was in, and sat on her bed, feeling the soaked clothes she was sleeping in. And it wasn’t only from the rain, but now from the sweating that soaked her pillow. Y/N was shaking, and her cheeks were burning red.

-Wake up, wake up! -she shook her husband. He jumped out of bed, and followed her to their daughters room.

-Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. 

No answer. The next thing, her dad picked her up and rushed to the car in his pajamas, her mother following him. The car drove away from their house, and her dad was driving fast to the hospital. He carried her in his hands, until the medical staff took care of her. She was frozen and her lips were bruised. They put a breathing mask immediately, and her heart rate was very low.

It was a nightmare of a night for the Y/L/N family, and it scared Y/N’s parents, that her mother had to also be taken care of. Her dad got himself a cup of tea from the canteen and sat outside the hospital room, waiting for his wife and daughter to get better. And he waited, until the doctor called him to his office.

-Y/N hadn’t eaten properly for days, and stress reacted even more. Also, she got soaked, which completed the state she is in now. Your daughter needs to eat, Mr. Y/L/N and stay away from stress as much as possible. It’s not a joke, it’s a life we’re talking about; a life of a young person. Here’s the pills she needs to drink for her curing. She’ll be held in the hospital for two days, then we’ll release her home. 

Her dad bought the pills, as soon as he left the office. And the man wasn’t stupid, to not understand that the stress, might involve Luke as well. He didn’t call him though. If the boyfriend of her daughter, was wise enough to check up on his girlfriend, he would’ve called himself. So, he was back to waiting.

Luke on the other hand, was at home. Sweaty from the big performance he had to do that night. And, we would all blame him for leaving Y/N alone, but the reason behind him leaving her hanging, is heartwarming from one side for another person, but painful and risky for Y/N. He changed into clean, and dry clothes, and sat on his bed, to see what Y/N’s up to, and explain what happened, that he couldn’t even text, nor call her. No answer. He called her dad, her mum, but none of them answered. So, he went to bed thinking they’re all sleeping, though, something kept aching his heart, that he couldn’t close his eyes as soon as he placed his head on the pillow. He kept tossing and turning, but it didn’t work, until finally, he found the best position, and fell into a deep sleep.

Y/N’s mother woke up before her the next morning, and stayed listening to her daughter, repeating Luke’s name in her sleep. Though, she also didn’t want to call him, thinking the same way as her husband. Y/N didn’t still open her eyes, and as much as the doctors and nurses wanted to, and even tried waking her, she wasn’t waking up. Her mother now went to treat herself a cup of tea, after the night she had.

-Mrs. Y/L/N? -said a voice from behind her. She turned around with a confused expression, but it dropped when she saw Reggie; Luke’s bandmate, who she met once at a show the Y/L/N family went to, to support Luke.

-Hello Reggie. How are you?

-I’m great Mrs. Y/L/N, actually how are you, is there something wrong?

-Yes Reggie, there is. Y/N is going to be held here for two days. Yesterday she came home soaked, and got sick so we had to rush her to the hospital, because she couldn’t wake up.

-Ca-can I see her please? -his eyes were filled with tears and worry.

-Sure. Come with me. -she placed a hand on his shoulder and walked him to the hospital room. Unnoticeably, he sent and SMS to Luke, quickly sending away what happened to Y/N, hoping his friend will come to take care of his girl.

-Oh no, Y/N. -he said, taking a hold of her frozen hand.

After getting out of the shower, Luke finally looked at his messages, and it took him a second to slip his shoes on, and basically run to the hospital with his wet hair.

-Y/N Y/L/N! -he breathlessly said to the person at the register.

-Room 200. -she said, and he tapped the elevator button, but couldn’t wait for it, so he took the stairs. When he got to the hallway, where her parents were stood, his heart dropped at the scene. Both of them in pajamas still, with barely any sleep, because of him.

-Mrs. Y/L/N. -he said in tears. 

-Go Luke, go next to her. We’ll talk about it later. -she rubbed his back, and he wiped away his tears, and entered the room, where Reggie was waiting, who jumped up and left, so he could be next to Y/N.

-Oh, my beautiful girl. I’m so sorry, it’s my fault.-he brushed away some hair from her face, and trailed his hand down her cheek. He took a hold of both of her hands, kissing them many times, and grabbing the sheets of the bed, so he could quietly cry in them. A warm line was traced under his eyes, and it disappeared at the corner of his eye.

-Don’t cry. -her raspy voice, made it to his ears, as his head shot up.

-Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry-

-Don’t be Luke.-she turned her head to the window, where her parents were stood. She blinked as an approval of them entering the room. 

-Baby. -said her mother, and went to kiss her temple, followed by her dad. -How are you feeling?

-I’m feeling better. Can we go home now? -she lifted herself to sit up, but her mother pressed her down back on the bed.

-The doctor said two days. Tomorrow you’ll be home anyways.

-Fine then. Let’s follow what the doctor said, I guess. -she sent a sad smile towards her parents. They saw what the situation was, and left them alone, even though Y/N’s look begged them not to leave her alone with Luke.

-Can I explain myself? -he asked softly.

-Of course. -she positioned herself, so her back could rest against the pillow.

-We had to do this last minute show, Y/N. It was for a kid’s operation money for aboard, and they needed to be sent that night. They asked us, and we couldn’t say no to that poor family. For else, you know I wouldn’t repeat my mistakes.

-I’m glad the kid’s got operation money. Hope he’ll, heal as soon as possible.

-I’m so sorry, baby. -he said, wiping his tears away and rubbing his wet hands off his jeans, -I’ll leave you now, because it’s obvious you don’t want me here. I’ll come later again, love you so much princess.

She opened her mouth to talk, but Luke was out the door, and he stopped to look at her from the window, but she pretended as if she’s looking out the other window in the room.

-If you loved me, you could’ve at least stayed. I don’t want you to go. -she whispered through her tears. It was the most painful feeling of her life, listening to him say that she doesn’t want him. She wanted him. And it hurt her more and more, knowing he’d done something beautiful for another kid. But he sacrificed her life, and happiness. The part with the girl at the bar, stayed as a question mark in Y/N’s head.

Y/N’s dad had a talk with Luke, and when he explained everything that happened, he couldn’t only be on his side, rather as a father, he took Y/N’s side first, then giving the right to Luke. 

-The choices you make in a relationship, you make for you and your loved one. A relationship is led by two people, and whatever they decided, it should never affect only one person. I know how much you love my daughter, it’s all written in your eyes kid. But I love her more than any other guy could ever love her. She’s a part of my soul, and even if one fiber gets damaged of her, I’ll ruin this world. Make up with her, please, I don’t want to see you grieving for each other. You’re a great couple, and it’s really sad to see her alone in that room over there.

It stayed with him the whole day, those words by Y/N’s father. He sat on his bed, and the only thing that couldn’t make him so helpless was writing. He took his music notebook, and started writing what he felt towards the girl, who was now being begged to eat. It worked after a few tries, but she was able to put some proper food into her system. Alex, Reggie and even Bobby came to visit her. Though, there was a girl waiting at the door; the same girl from the bar.

-Who’s that over there? Why is she standing alone? 

-It’s my girlfriend, Rose. -said Bobby.

-Ah huh. -she said, a sigh of relief was supposed to follow, but instead her heart relaxed, knowing Bobby probably wanted the boys to meet her while they’re there. 

After they left, not too long after, Luke came as promised. This time, he really came, together with his guitar, and bags of fruit he bought.

-You parents said you can’t have any tough food, so I thought your favorite fruits are a great idea. -he left them on the table, and sat down next to Y/N’s bed.

-You came. -Y/N said, holding back a big smile. He looked really handsome, even though he didn’t even try to. It was what had her attracted to him the most at the moment.

-I came to sing you to sleep. -he said, and positioned his guitar. Y/N slipped down to her laying position, and patiently waited for him to start singing. When he did, she realized that the words are completely new, and unknown to her, which meant he wrote them freshly. And he did. He wrote her a song, about how he’s sorry and if he’d take back the time, he’d fix everything, but still remain the Luke she loves.

After he finished, Y/N applauded and rested her hand on a writing, carved onto his guitar.

-Why ‘Y/I’ (Y/I= your initials)? -she traced it with her fingers.

-For Y/N Y/L/N. My Y/N Y/L/N.-he smiled.

Y/N sat up and rested her back against her pillow, as few tears fell down her face, quickly wiping them away so Luke doesn’t notice. He still thought she was mad at him, with the right to be, so he nodded his head and sat up to leave the room, just like he did earlier, although this time, it wasn’t clear if he would come back again. Y/N swiftly lingered her fingers onto his, and it gave her life; his touch.

-I-I need you...Let’s make up. -she said and swallowed her tears. Luke slowly spun around and sat on the bed. She cupped his face and wiped away his tears, as he did the same, resting their foreheads on top of each other.

-I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry for doing the same mistake again. Please forgive me and give me the chance to make up to you. I love you so much,

-It’s fine Luke. It all was gone with another day. Let’s focus on the ones that are coming. I love you too, so much. And the song was beautiful, I can’t even explain to you.

-Yeah? Well, since we made up and sang a song, you must now eat at least one orange, okay?

-Okay fine. -she said lazily, and Luke managed to peel one for her. She made a sour face when she tasted it, and Luke placed a kiss to her lips, getting a taste of its bitterness and making a face as well, which made her laugh. For the first time since the day before, she managed to remember what laughing feel like. As well as crying, and going through pain, all because of the one boy, she loved with her entire life. Mutually getting the same love, from him; her Luke Patterson.

[cyancherub]

CASSIE I JUST WANNA SAY THAT YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS HERE ON TUMBLR AND YOU ARE LITERALLY SO AMAZING LIKE FUCK CASS YOU WRITE SO WELL AND STIR EMOTIONS INSIDE OF ME THAT I NEVER EVEN KNEW I COULD FEEL

BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE BUT I HAD ONLY DECIDED TO READ WITHOUT YOU YESTERDAY AND FUCK YEAH IT WAS SO GOOD CASS I SHOULD'VE READ IT SOONER

I'M SO OVERWHELMED BY THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS I WANNA FUCKING SCREAM AND HURT YOU CASS 😭🔪 COME HERE

I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU I WAS MORE OF A KIRI SIMP BEFORE THIS FIC BUT NOW I'M DOWN BAD FOR BAKUGO NOW PLS CASS YOU WROTE HIM SO FUCKING WELL I'M TEARING UP I'M NEVER GONNA FORGET THAT SCENE ON THE BEACH WHERE WE WENT STARGAZING WITH HIM AND THAT SCENE ON THE BED WHERE HE BRUSHED OUR HAIR AND KEPT US COMPANY WHEN KIRI GAVE US THE COLD SHOULDER AND THE WAY HE STOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIRE PIT JUST TO PUSH OUR LIMITS WITH OUR QUIRK :(( I ALMOST FORGOT THAT LITTLE GROCERY DATE PLS THAT'S NOT EVEN HALF OF IT HE LITERALLY DRAINED ALL THE FEELINGS I HAD FOR KIRI I'M SO SORRY KIRI BUT I CAN LITERALLY WRITE A WHOLE DISSERTATION ON WHY BAKUGO SHOULD BE THE ENDGAME

AND NOT TO MENTION THE SPICY ANGRY JEALOUS SEX OH MY GOD CASS THAT WAS DELICIOUS AND AMAZING

CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO INVESTED WITH THE PLOT THAT I BASICALLY HAD TO SKIM OVER THE 18+ CONTENT BC I SWEAR THE PLOT IS JUST AS GOOD (IF NOT BETTER) THAN THE PORN ITSELF LIKE THE WAY YOU WROTE DEVIL- AND HYDRA'S PAST- FUCK CASSIE- EVERYTHING IS SO INTRICATE AND GENIUS AND IMMACULATE

CASS I'M NEVER GONNA FORGIVE YOU FOR WRITING THIS I HATE YOU SO MUCH IT'S SO DAMN GOOD BUT YOU BETTER GIVE OUR POOR BAKUGO SOME JUSTICE ALRIGHT

IT HURTS SO MUCH READING THOSE RECENT SMUT CHAPTERS THINKING ABOUT HOW WE DISREGARDED OUR FEELINGS FOR BAKUGO JUST LIKE THAT BC WE'RE BEING FUCKED DUMB BY KIRI

I'M SO MAD PLS I STILL FUCKING HATE US FOR BEING SO MARUPOK LIKE STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GREEDY AND INDECISIVE AND STUPID GOD DAMN IT BUT I TRUST YOU CASSIE I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA GIVE US A GOOD ENDING

P.S. I LOVE YOU CASSIE ALL YOUR WORKS ARE AMAZING (BTW MY FAVES ARE INITIATION AND THE LIFEGUARD KIRI FIC)

P.P.S. CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT UPDATES I'M DYING FOR MORE HERO ACTION :))

P.P.P.S. YOUR VERSION OF BAKUGO KATSUKI IS ENGRAVED IN MY HEART

H-HELLO OMG okay sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this !! FIRST OF ALL i am giving you the biggest virtual hug through my screen right now THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME...,,, !!!!

SHDBGSVS DID U READ THE ENTIRE THING IN A DAY 😭😭🤚 the absolute rollercoaster of emotions u must have been on... help!!!

ITS SO INCREDIBLY INTERESTING TO ME THAT I CHANGED U FROM A KIRI SIMP TO A BAKUGOU SIMP??? because usually people say it’s the other way around with WY!!! BUT THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY BECAUSE i have some trouble writing bakugou sometimes!! especially his vulnerable side. BUT I LOVE WRITING HIM and i fell for him in the process of writing him so i could see why the vulnerability would draw u in too!! the beach scene, the stargazing 😭😭😭😭

THE FACT THAT U LOVE THE PLOT JUST AS MUCH AS THE PORN IF NOT MORE!!!! I COULD SCREAM AND CRY 😭😩😩😩 i have so much fun writing plot for WY it’s so near and dear to me and it just !!! MEANS SO MUCH! !!! Im over the moon with this comment, the fact that u like devil and the background of hydras quirk 🤧🤧💖

HAVDGS DONT WORRY!!!! bakugou’s gonna get some spicy steamy justice this chapter i promise!! It’s real nasty 😩🤚 WAIT WHDBSG IM CACKLING MARUPOK ARE U FILIPINA 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ DID U KNOW DEVIL IS SUPPOSED TO BE FILIPINA TOO 🏃‍♀️ WITH THE ESCRIMA STICKS !!!

but yes we are very indecisive and greedy BUT U ARE ALSO RIGHT THAT I AM GOING TO DELIVER A HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE MY POOR HEART CANNOT TAKE AN ANGSTY ENDING 😭 BUT I HAVE A TON OF PLOT STUFF / HERO AND QUIRK STUFF COMING UP so be ready for that !!! 😚😚

I LOVE U SM IM SO HAPPY U LIKE MY WORK MY HEART IS FULL this comment is so special to me 🥺 especially knowing that u love my version of bakugou HUGS U!!!!! THIS MADE MY DAY!!

[certifiedskywalker]

No Grave - Dyn Jarren (The Mandalorian)

Anonymous said:

Hello, Hope you’re having a good day! Just was that you’re looking for requests for the Mandalorian? If that’s not the case then feel free to disregard this ask! I was wondering if it would be possible to request a fic in which Mando is injured and he needs to call upon the help of his old friend, the reader, who he doesn’t want to bother but can’t fix himself so they just sorta patch him up, coo over Baby Yoda and are just really happy to see him? Just a tropey af & fluffy af fic? Thank you sm

AN: First, you’re so polite?! I love you! Second, I love your request but this leans into more romance than you described because I’ve been listening to Hozier. I hope that’s okay! Also, I call him Dyn Jarren, as Pedro Pascal leaked!

The fall from the Jawa’s trading post broke him in more ways than one. 

Dyn Jarren had been in pain before. Training in the tribe had acquainted him with every weakness of the human body, his body. Before that, on Mandalore, on his home in the Outer Rim, he had been shown the human capacity for cruelty and the faces of his people twisted up in agony. The entirety of his life, every curve of every path, had been marked by some sort of pain. It was the one constant; no matter what planet, bounty, or standard year, hurt, in some capacity, lingered around each corner. 

Yet, Dyn Jarren had never felt pain like this. It felt like his entire body was set aflame, burning from the inside out. The slash in his arm was much deeper, much longer than he had thought and his head was still ringing from the fall. He laid in the dirt with his eyes closed, carefully moving his fingers and toes to make sure he wasn’t paralyzed. Thank the Maker he wasn’t, but each micromovement brought with it a new wave of strained misery.

He grit his teeth and forced himself to sit up. The moment Dyn curled his abdomen and used his arms to support himself, his chest screamed in pain. Broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. What a curse it is to be so attuned to his body’s every ache. He reached up and pulled his left shoulder back into its socket. The bones made a horrible scraping sound that was only drowned out by his grunts of pain.

“Chit!” 

The curse fell from his lips when he sat back. After a few labored breaths, he laid down in the spot where he had landed hours before. He would have stayed there too, spread out on the dark earth, if it wasn’t for a small ‘coo’ that reached his ears. In a flash, a spasm so quick that his wounds shouted in angry protest, the Mandalorian looked to the side and met the shining, expectant eyes of the Child. 

“Ugh,” Dyn moved to stand and he felt his legs shake beneath him. The Child cocked it’s small, green head to the side with its large ears turned down. “What?”

The Child only gurgled and the Mandalorian sighed heavily. The breath stung his lungs and he bit back a groan. Each step he took a new sharp stab raced through his body. Dyn looked out along the horizon, saw the setting sun, and nearly fell to his knees.  

They needed to find shelter. Maybe, if he could make it, they could stay at Kuiil’s moisture farm. Although, he had put enough on the older man, taken too much of his time. Staying at his hut would put him, his freedom, and the Child at risk. Dyn looked behind him and watched the nursery pod following after him. The Child’s eyes were wide, almost all-seeing. A twinge of guilt racked the Mandalorian’s chest.

He had taken the job and here he was, bleeding, stumbling to some intangible end. Without a ship, he was stranded, with a child no less, on a desert planet, dying slowly. At the thought of death, he fell. The impact knocked the wind out of him and his armor did nothing to dull the sting. He rolled onto his back and let out a groan.

The pink-orange sky was now fading into a wonderful purple color; and for a moment, the pain ebbed away. For a moment, Dyn forgot where he was and why he was there. For that perfect moment, he was back with the tribe. He was outside, watching the orange flames of a bonfire raging up towards the night sky. He saw the faces of the people who had taken him in, raised him, and trained him.

He saw Y/N.

He saw the eyes, the face he knew better than his own. He saw the familiar grin and felt the heat that Y/N never ceased to stir up within him. The memories danced in the darkness of his mind, reminding him of a time when he smiled. When had he last smiled? When he was a Foundling? Maybe? When was the last time he saw Y/N?

Ever since Y/N, ever since he left, Dyn had thrown himself into the job. Bounty hunting became all he did and all he told himself he wanted. Yet, it was still Y/N he thought of when faced with the sunset. Especially one as beautiful as the one that danced above him now.

Dyn felt wetness slip from his eyes when he moved to sit up, but he wasn’t sure for which ache the tears were shed. A surge of pain ripped up his side as he leaned back against the rock face. The Child watched him, ever curious eyes glinting under the soft light of dusk. He let his head lull against the stone as he studied the green creature. So much strangeness and death surrounded the little being; including himself. 

In spite of that, he was compelled to keep it alive. He shifted once more, grunting through the ache of his body, and aimed his hand at a nearby bush. With the simple flick of his finger, flames roared out of the canister at his wrist. The brittlebush went up in flames and, he hoped, it would burn long enough to keep the Child warm. 

It cooed at the sight of the fire, clapping it’s little hands together in joy before looking back at Dyn. For a second, the creature looked...sorry. The Mandalorian leaned back against the rocks and sighed. He lifted his hand once more, but this time, uttered a simple command. 

“Show me Y/N.”

The image he didn’t let himself look at opened. A hologram of Y/N’s form, a digital portrait of the one person Dyn could not let himself have. At least not in this life. Life on the road, a life of killing, a life of pain...that was no life. No, not this life; part of him would be happy to leave it behind. 

Dyn heard a small set of footfalls as he studied the picture, but he was too lost in memories to care. No longer did he care how long he had left to live. All he knew was that he wanted to see Y/N one last time. Slowly, like falling asleep, the Mandalorian closed his eyes. The burning pain that once gripped his body gave way to cold darkness as the Child shuffled closer to the glowing image with all the wonder of a young soul. 

Dyn woke up scared for the second time in his life. Warmth was everywhere, kissing every inch of his body. The pain was gone, replaced by the sun. His skin felt tight under the rays of light and he could feel the heat gathering on his cheeks. The last time had had the sun on his face��

On instinct, he reached up towards his face. When his palm met the flesh of his face, he yanked his hand away. It was as if the softness stung him. His face was a reminder of everything he had swallowed, pushed down, and ignored for years. Now, it was exposed and every feeling was bubbling up to the surface.

“You’re up.”

Dyn swung his head to his right and swore that he was dreaming. He must be because Y/N was there, looking at him with those eyes. It must all be some fevered dream. Whatever infection his wounds had fostered were now taunting him. It had to be that.

“I don’t want to know what happened,” Y/N said, hands raised as if to stop Dyn from speaking. “And I really don’t want to know why you have a baby with you either.”

“How did you get here?” Dyn was almost surprised by the sound of his own voice, unaltered by the modulator in the helmet. Yet, that was the least shocking thing to him in the moment. He was still caught on Y/N.

“You sent me a beacon,” Y/N said simply. “Wasn’t hard to find you then. All I did was look for smoke plumes.” Y/N gestured to the burning bush, now blackened by the heat and acting as a new playground for the Child.

“I didn’t send for you,” Dyn said, dark eyes glued to the Child. Y/N scoffed and Dyn looked over at his...friend? Could they even call each other that?

“I’m here anyway,” Y/N snapped, and Dyn tore his eyes from the Child to look up. “What? Do you…” Y/N now looked at the Child and then back to Dyn. “You think that little thing called me? On your comm? Does it even know how to use a transmitter?”

Dyn’s face flushed as his last-night thoughts returned to him. “I thought I was going to…”

“What?” Y/N shuffled closer. Sand was kicked up by boots and Dyn remembered all to vividly what had happened. He had opened Y/N’s file, the portrait, and, with it, her information. Dyn glanced over at the Child once more who, almost smiling, looked from the Mandalorian to Y/N, then back again.

“It doesn’t matter,” Dyn grumbled and started to get back to his feet. “I have to-”

“You have to stay still,” Y/N interrupted, hands extended and gently pushing down on Dyn’s shoulders. The touch sent Dyn back to a room, on a planet, to safety and warmth. He could almost feel the softness of a bed below him the moment Y/N met his gaze. Y/N must have felt it too, because the touch was pulled away before Dyn had a chance to savor it. Instead, he was left with a question gnawing at his mind.

“Why did you come?” 

Y/N sat back on the dirt, staring at Dyn with curious eyes. If it weren’t for the fact that the Child stumbled up and pulled on Y/N’s sleeve, Dyn was sure he would have gotten an answer right then.

With the Child, Y/N got distracted. Dyn watched the scene that unfolded before him with unabashed awe. Y/N, carefully, took the Child up in arms and the little creature snuggled close. For a second, Dyn forgot that they had to be on the run; that the Child was part of a hefty bounty. Dyn, in that moment, saw another sunset and Y/N’s smile.

“It’s fifty years old.”

“What?”

Dyn raised his brows, pointed them towards the Child still swaddled in Y/N’s embrace. “That is fifty years old.”

“I don’t…”

“Some species age differently,” Dyn repeated what the guild droid had said and gauged Y/N’s reaction. The Child, however, seemed wholly unaffected by the knowledge.

“But it’s...it’s a child, a baby.” Y/N rambled, now holding the Child out in the air. It squealed softly and kicked its feet in the air. “Fifty?”

“Fifty,” Dyn echoed. Y/N’s head shook and similarly shaking hands lowered the Child to the ground. Y/N’s eyes met Dyn’s and, for the first time in a long time, he saw worry in them.

In the months they had spent together before...before everything, Y/N hardly worried. Dyn had made bounty hunting look like an art and Y/N did not fret over what he did. There was to point, Y/N couldn’t stop him. Dyn was going to do what he wanted anyway.

Y/N never asked about what wrongs he did, whose name would be presented in a bounty puck when he brought back to the house. That was what Dyn liked about Y/N. Never once did the world of bounty hunting collide with the realm of what he once knew as home. Y/N was his perfect escape; a haven he would crawl back to every time.

That was why he had to leave. In his life, all Dyn knew was pain. He couldn't risk dragging Y/N into that. Not then and definitely not now. Not even when Y/N was looking at him like that, with those eyes that haunted every sunset he saw. Or would ever see.

“Why did you come?” 

Y/N held his gaze before leaning close to him. Dyn’s breath caught at the closeness but was soon released as Y/N peeled a bacta patch off his arm. “Your arm is healed. I did what I could about your ribs when you were passed out.”

Dyn stayed silent, watching Y/N sort the medical supplies laid out. The way Y/N’s hands traced packages and sorted them nearly hypnotized Dyn. He was tempted to drop the question, let them just be. Let them just be together for whatever time they had. It was too tempting.

“Why did you come here, Y/N,” Dyn asked once more. He reached out, his now bare hand grasping Y/N’s wrist. There was no hesitation as Y/N pulled away from the touch.

“Why do you think I came here?” Y/N snapped coldly. Any friendly warmth that once laced Y/N’s voice was gone. The Child, now sat at Dyn’s feet cringed, as if the tone of the words hurt some part of its being. 

“I don’t,” Dyn replied, “I thought it was clear that-”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Dyn,” Y/N said softly, all the fire that laced the voice gone. Y/N looked up from the medical supplies and met his gaze. “I don’t ask many questions about...why you do what you do. Please, don’t ask me.”

Dyn wanted to protest. He wanted to tell Y/N that he fell into bounty hunting; but that was a lie. He had chosen bounty hunting over everything so he could control the pain that had been so intertwined with his life. He had chosen it over everything. Even his relationship with Y/N.

So, he decided, he could grant Y/N that one wish. “Alright.”

“Vor'e,” Y/N murmured and the use of Mando’a caught Dyn visibly off guard. “What? Have you become unfamiliar with your native tongue?”

“I haven’t heard it in a long time. Some phrases are lost to me now.”

“I said ‘thanks’,” Y/N explained teasingly. Dyn nodded, letting the word find purchase in his throat before speaking up again. 

“Vor'e, for coming here.” Dyn watched as that smile he loved spread along Y/N’s features. It lasted only for a second before fading like sunlight.

“I fear I’ve done all I can.” Dyn nodded and moved to sit up fully. His ribs no longer screamed with searing pain and his arm held no ache. 

“And that’s more than enough.” Y/N frowned and started to pack what supplies were still strewn about the dirt. Dyn watched but forced himself to peel his eyes away. He had to focus on what tasks lingered. Namely, getting the Child off this planet. 

“I could fly you out of here,” Y/N suggested, so quickly it was as if Dyn’s thoughts had been spoken aloud. “Get you and…” Y/N pointed to the Child, “this little one out of here.”

“No, no,” Dyn started to get to his feet. “You’d be in danger and-”

“You don’t think I can handle myself?” Y/N asked, hands on the hips, and standing before Dyn with all the confidence he wished he could bottle to keep at his side for whenever he needed it. Mostly, he wished to keep Y/N.

“I don’t know if I can handle...this,” Dyn gestured to the Child that now stood between them. It’s wide eyes peered up at them with a small, smug smile on it’s green lips. 

“Really you-” Dyn met Y/N’s eyes and the words fell into silence. “Really?”

Dyn nodded and leaned down to scoop the Child in his arms. It cooed in response and Dyn swallowed hard. Y/N reached and rubbed a careful hand against the creature’s cheek. Dyn watched Y/N, dark eyes adoring and soft. 

“Well, if this little one did send for me, you owe it quite a lot.” Y/N was still looking at the Child and Dyn was wholly enraptured with Y/N. 

“My life,” Dyn said softly, his breath stirring the hair on Y/N’s head. The couple met eyes and Dyn felt his heart go weak. What a curse it is to be so attuned to his body’s every ache. “And I owe you.” 

Y/N frowned and pulled away from Dyn. Leaning down, Y/N grabbed the Mandalorian helmet from the dirt and handed it to Dyn. He took it with his free hand, his eyes tracing the lines of Y/N’s face. He was preparing for a goodbye, perhaps the last goodbye.

“You can repay me by not leaving a grave for me to find.” Dyn let out a forced chuckle and shook his head. 

“You know that no grave could keep me from you.” The words came back to him like an instinct. They flowed from his lips with the same ease he set a trap or aimed his rifle for a killing shot. Those words were part of a ritual, a life that Dyn had almost had; a life with Y/N.

Y/N did not speak. Dyn felt his stomach drop and curl at the quiet. Instead of speaking, Y/N stepped towards him, pressed a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth. Dyn wanted to drop everything and reach for Y/N; but the Child gurgled as Y/N pulled away. The skin of Dyn’s lips still tingled from the kiss.  

Dyn watched Y/N walk away, medical supplies trailing after. The ship in the distance was small, a ship that Dyn once knew well. A ship that he hoped to know well again. Maybe after all of this, after the bounty...after the Child… Dyn looked up from the green creature in his arms and back at Y/N’s form. He could see the features of the person he loved as Y/N faced him once more.  

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum,” Y/N shouted. The wind carried the phrase to Dyn’s ears and he closed his eyes as the sound of his native Mando’a speech warmed his soul. He did not have to ask what the words meant. He knew what Y/N said in his heart; a phrase he could never lose to time or trial. 

Dyn watched Y/N take off before putting his helmet back on. The sun’s heat no longer graced his features, instead glinted off of the beskar steel. Dyn looked back to the Child in his arms. Its eyes were wide and Dyn sighed. 

“Let’s get you out of here.”

[chameleonspell]

Hi there! If I sent another submission that cut off mid-sentence, I'm sorry! My phone glitched on me. I also apologize if the formatting is screwy, I've never submitted on mobile before. Anyway!

I read HTDC early in 2020 and have been sitting on my thoughts for a year and a half and through several rereads. A lot of it has been said before, and more articulately than I ever could, and there's so many great aspects to comment on. I think, most of all, I loved Iriel. I've never so strongly identified with a fictional character. I remember reading the last line of the first chapter, where Iriel is "overcome by a sudden, powerful sense of his own wretchedness and ridiculousness," and thinking, oh, Tarhiel gets it. They perfectly described the unique way shame hurts you, how crippling anxiety is. I felt heard. I was a little intimidated by the length before I read that, but by the end of chapter one, I knew I'd have no trouble finishing the story.

Iriel continued to make me feel heard all the way to chapter 200. He's a strong and endearing, terribly flawed, selfish and selfless, entirely believable character, and I appreciated how the narrative never pulled its punches about his more ugly behavior. I can name dozens of published novels less self aware than this fanfic. I love your elf sm.

But I doodled Cel, Bodu, and Pasha instead of Ire! I really want to take a shot at him in the future, but I haven't seen any art of the other HTDC characters (specifically with HTDC in mind, I mean) and they are all incredible. I love the way you write Julan and Shani. I love your take on Helende and Tsiya and Muriel. I love Tilde so, so much! But Cel and Bodu stuck with me as the two characters that charmed me the most - couldn't relate to Ire at all re: Cel, I think he's adorable, and Bodu's just as cute. Whenever either of them were on screen, I was grinning ear to ear. The comedy was another great part of HTDC; the reason I drew this scene was because it did a fantastic job at breaking the tension in a chapter that had me ill with worry for Iriel.

Thank you for writing this story, it made my life better. 11 cute guar out of 10.

I don't have the words, thank you so much for this! You drew Pasha and the boys! Just... thank you so much for taking the time to do this and write this and send it to me, you don't know how much it means! <3 <3 <3