#this girl 100% thinks giving a bone jewelry to someone she likes is her proposing

[kurosstuff]

Cassandra Dimitrescu x reader: Courting gone wrong?

Summary: Cassandra likes you, but with how she's "courting" you, you think she's constantly threatening you.

Warning(s): cassandra being a little feral shit, blood, violence, kinda detailed body detatchment(?), death(not readers), one or two dead animals, want to throw up(doesnt happen)

When you first became a maid you learned the rules fast, how to handle yourself around the Dimitrescu's sisters, to not draw attention.

All attention is bad attention no matter how you look at it.

Sure, being around Lady Bela is kinda safer then her sisters-she won't go around killing every maid in her way unless provoked. But even Bela is unsafe. That fact was proven once again when a maid spilt the mop bucket on her, she was shortly make into wine later on for the Lady of the house herself.

Lady Daniela was.. an interesting woman, but with how,, delusional she can be- she will attempt to recreate what she read but if you don't play along... well the mess left a stain for a month.

And the middle child- Lady Cassandra easily the most sadistic and purposefully dangerous of the sisters- be in the same room, possibility of survival is slim- look into her eyes? Speak a little louder then you should? Just sentenced yourself to tormented in a sick twisted game of hers, or if your lucky be personally dragged into the cellar for some wine making by Lady Cassandra herself. Of course it could be random as well-. So the one to look out for is Lady Cassandra from your own experiences with the sisters

Being the personal maid is usually fine as well, people say it's the golden ticket- it's anything but- especially if you so happen to be Lady Cassandra's personal Maid. Then no, it is not fine, out of the sisters-she has gone through the most personal maids, saying "Oh its fine! It's much more fun this way" or "they were far to boring to be my maid." And as her new maid. Well you accepted your fate soon enough, sad as it is- it's only a matter of time.

-

Cleaning her weaponry took longer then it usually does- seems like she had.. fun with her last playmate, the hand in the far back corner gave away the cleanup wasn't that successful. Drawing your attention back to dagger in your hand, a sigh escaped you, the bloody cloth drenching your apron in faded red as you scrubbed taking a moment or to as to wash the cloth in the bucket at your side. Soon enough the dagger looked almost as good as new- minus the damages to the handle itself the blade was shiny as ever.

Placing it down, as you moved to her- new favorite toy-a want to yell in annoyance filled your throat-but you gulped it down least you want unwanted company. A slight creek was heard behind you, looking back it was silent as it was in the room before, going back to cleaning a figure materialized behind you. Like a predator towards their prey, they crept up silently the bloody sickle by their side dripped liquid as they stalked forward, lifting the weapon up, slamming it down beside you- impaling the wood next to your head. A surprised squeak escaped you- a dark chuckle escaped the predator themselves behind you- revealing the one worse of any common predator. Lady Cassandra

"Aww little mouse. Did I scare you?" Snickering she stood back, watching you like a hawk, urging you to say something, all you did was stand up turn and bow not looking her in the eyes just yet- her smirk grew "well well, isn't this a sight. My lovely maid is all bloodied up." Looking at your apron in what sounded like fake concern

"no that will not do. Oh no not at all" Shaking her head slightly, Great seems like she's in a playful mood "the only one allowed to bloody you up is me. Not some dried up toy. Now go wash up" with a wave of her hand "then come back and wash my sickle"

"Of course Lady Cassandra" with that you hurriedly left.

-

Walking the corridors down to your room, was never fun, nor pleasant. Even now from your new room, all personal maids get their own room, sounds nice but not in the slightest. The room is near who they now belong to. Yours is infront of Lady Cassandra's room- something about how if she wants you to come to her, you won't take to long that way.

It's been- two months since you begin to be her personal Maid. One of the few longest who stayed Alive, even longer to not be hurt to much in Lady Cassandra's games. You'd say you'd be proud of it if you didn't want to jinx it. But as of late she seemed to find a new way to torment, one that didn't involve harming physically.

Opening the door, the rotten smell caught your attention first, the bloody mangled thing on your pillow. Your nose wrinkled at the smell- sighing as you walked towards the bed, at least the put the thing on a paper Towel- as if to not bloody your bed. Not sure why she cares now she's bloodied it before.

Grabbing a towel kept close for this reason you picked it up and went to the far garbage bin- looking at the thing in the bin. A cold shudder crept your spine- disgust filled you. If you saw this when you first joined you'd throw up- if not from the sight then the sickening smell.

It was a severed human hand

-

This wasn't the first time she's threanted you in this way, nor will it be the last time.

The first time it happened- whatever you'd wanna call it exactly. You assumed one of the sisters was upset with you. You almost screamed but stopped yourself. Anyone would if they opened their door and saw a dead tattered rabbit on the ground with a bloody letter saying 'Your eyes are pretty' not that great to wake up too. The letter itself also made your heartstop- the unsettling feeling of being watched didn't help either.

And it was a pain to clean as well- scrubbing the carpet until it left a faint pink mark, that took days to leave as well. The rabbit itself you buried in the backyard when you were able. Unknowing of the yellow eyes that watched you do so. The note itself if not bloody would have been sweet, but you threw it away right after, the unknowing threat creeped you out.

You assumed it was Lady Daniela who did this. Couldn't think of anyone else who would do such a thing. Imagine your surprise from the late, visitor that night

"I see the little mouse didn't like the present left for them?" A question made out to be a demand, sitting on your bed Lady Cassandra scuffed Glaring at you before bringing her attention elsewhere "hm. Your room is to boring. Put some statues in it- like the rabbit" She added fully aware of where it was kept

"Lady Cassandra- I'm very sorry. I didn't know it was you" you didn't wanna say it was a gift from her- cause- that'd be crazy- her of all people give a gift? No way, not in a million years. Even if you wanted it- which weirdly now that you think of it, you hoped it was. It would be much better then have it be some new threatening game of hers. Scuffing she stood, staring down at you before she could say anything-

Her mother called out to her- making her buzz off. Saved by the bell you guessed in a way. Switching aprons quickly you turned and went to your next job.

Cleaning the music room- not belonging just to Lady Bela but Lady Cassandra visits the room from time to time. She refuses to say why, but you have to guess she's good at music-or just liked to listen to it. The noises from the tightly locked room is always pleasant to hear. Luckily you don't have to go to far, opening the door you walked in closing it behind you.

"Well, hello little one." A voice called out, looking back you saw the only other Dimitrescu's who enters here the most- Lady Bela herself sitting at the piano, "Didn't expect to see Cassandra's pet entering here, much less looking healthy" She spoke mumbling the last part, not bothering to look up. She went back to the piano.

"Hello Lady Bela" you greeted before getting started to clean around, a hum was all you got, before a single piano key rung in the room stopping you for a moment, then another before a full on beautiful song started to play. Stealing a quick glance the Lady seemed to be in her element-not a blood filled one but and element anyways. Going back to cleaning all that left was the piano. You weren't allowed to touch the paintings or the music books littering the walls. So it doesn't take that long to clean thankfully

As the final key was hit Lady Bela stood with a silent hum, standing back for you to clean, watching you as you did. Brushing the towel over the keys as you sprayed, gently as to not push them accidentally. You closed of for a moment to clean the top seal of the keys before continuing

"Do you play?" Lady Bela asked suddenly, taking a seat beside you. Glancing at her quickly you went back to cleaning

"Not really my Lady. I've never played, never learned" you answered quickly, leaning forward she tried to catch your full attention.

"No? I can show you-" the door slammed open cutting her off, as a mass of bugs flew towards you both angrily

"What the fuck do you think your doing Bela." Cassandra spoke angrily grabbing you harshly pulling you up in a tight hold on your arm "this is my maid. Get your own damn maid." She hissed out pulling you along with her, once you both exited the room she glared at you- as if you really pissed her off, and in this case? You had.

" 'My Lady'" She mocked seething as she pulled you with her "what are you hers now? Don't like how I treat you so you go run off to the better sibling right?" Turning sharply she pulled you into a room. Her room. Letting you go, you rubbed your wrist slightly- the sight seemed to piss her off more "don't even try to lie to me either, I know it's true" she spoke her voice having a slight waver in it. You had to think quick- or this could be the last day on earth for you

"Lady Cassandra- I meant no offense I don't want to be her maid. I want to be just yours." Just yours, the words echoed in your mind, before you cringed at the thought. Would be disgusted if the younger you found out you'd later love the one who loved to torment you and the others. But luckily it seemed to please her, just a bit but enough.

"Good from now on if you are to clean when I'm in there. If you want to learn you will learn from me. Not some wannabe piano player. Got it" without waiting for a response-not that she'd need it she stalked forward caging you against the wall. "Now. You made me leave my meal behind. You wouldn't mind if I took a quick snack would you?" Lady Cassandra spoke leaning in close, her eyes narrowing as if actually waiting for consent. Nodding your head in agreement she smirked devilishly leaning close to your ear.

"I'll be gentle don't worry"

-

She was in fact not gentle at all.

She bit so hard and took so much you were on bedrest for a whole week- so weak to even stand up, it seemed like Lady Cassandra took pity on you as she carried you to your room, and actually tucked you in. Not before wrapping your neck surprisingly. With this- she was gentle, the blood drinking? No not at all. You were ordered not to talk in the meantime but you could tell she was- stressed. About what? You weren't sure

During the week of your recovery, you still were given threats. But not as bloody as the ones before. Just things made of bone? Or something. Or a random dead bird.

She still seemed to hate you even if she was caring for you? You assumed she was savoring her meal

-

When you were able to move around healthily again, you were given easier jobs for the time being. Just to follow your Lady around for the first part of the morning to cleaning her room. Then follow her to the music room. Then rest. And then repeat for the rest of the week

Lady Cassandra has been even more standoffish and quiet then she usually was. Even going as far as staying as far away from you as she can, even though she herself said you had to be near her when your out of your room. Huffing in annoyance as she fluttered away yet again, you knew where to find her around this time.

Her weapon room

One of the places she goes to most- especially if she feels upset or just wants to entertain herself for a bit. Her safe place. Quickly speedwalking there, you thought up a million things to say to her, to ask her whats the problem-hopefully you'll live, or you'll die trying to care.

Entering the words you rehearsed dried up as quickly as you figured it out. Gulping nervously, Lady Cassandra was currently stabbing a mannequin with her sickle-in a uncoordinated way. You called out to her causing her to stop for a moment. Letting her sickle go she let it stick in the mannequin as she turned to face you.

Guilt

Guilt on her face, not letting her look you in the eyes, the refusal to properly own up to her own personal mistake. She couldn't do it. She couldn't face you. Not look at the bandage on your neck- it was weird she could look at many inhuman horrible stuff and laughs-cause she causes it. But not this time.

Thinking quickly you decided to talk about random stuff that popped up in your head- moving around the room to clean as you did so. Slowly her eyes looked up over at you following you as you worked. "-and I thought it was kinda funny, how the man just gave his wife the animal as a gift and she just- left him? Like-" laughing softly. You gently wiped the scratched up table top. "Who even gives a dead animal as a gift though-?" Speaking the question aloud more so to yourself then the silent company in the room. Turning around back to the mannequin she finally spoke

"I mean. Giving animals and bones are pretty romantic right? Like that courting people do" Lady Cassandra awkwardly said her back turned to you. She seemed more tense then usual

Staying silent for a moment, you couldnt tell what she meant by that, but you assuned she was just confused or making a weird joke "I mean no one court's someone like that- that's for sure" you gave a soft laugh

She froze

"What..?" Turning to face you her face showed complete confusion, as if this was the first she's ever heard of such a thing. "You.. don't give dead animals to people you like for.. courting" She asked dumbfounded "or something like that of course" she hurriedly added.

"Um- yeah no. I'm not sure of anyone who gave such a thing to someone in a courting way" speaking you looked away to beginning cleaning again- failing to see Lady Cassandra's face paling even more then it already was "like for example, my father gave my mom some of her favorite flowers and books everytime he saw her." Explaining more in depth, Lady Cassandra looked more and more embarrassed the more you explained it too her

"Then what do you think I was doing this whole time" Lady Cassandra spoke before she could stop herself. Dropping the rag you turned to face her- seeing a red faced Lady Cassandra a shock too see but not unwelcomed "no. I didn't say that" pointing her pointer finger at you. She grumbled face deep red "no- i- stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"In awe at what I totally didn't say." Huffing she stormed up to you, standing before you eyes locked together once again. "Well? What do you have to say" breaking out of your trance you blinked looking at her before smiling

"Well if I'd known it was in a courting way, I'd tell you, I feel the same" your face felt warm, confessing in a room of weapons was the last thing you thought would happen. Much less to the person you just confessed too. Bringing her hands to your face she pulled you close to her gently, leaning her forehead against yours for a moment before speaking

"..can I kiss you" her voice surprisingly soft, ready to bounce back away if you declined all you did was nod in agreement. Smirking she leaned in-before freezing her breath on your lips. Then pulled away "wait. Hold on" zooming out dragging you with her she brought you to her room, then rushed to the bathroom. Coming back face fresh not a trace of dried or new blood, walking towards you again she led you to sit on the bed beside her. Waiting.

"Cassandra what was the book Lady Daniela gave you advice from?" You asked looking up in her arms, stopping for a moment, she shifted into a swarm of flies buzzing off but returning quickly with a blue book handing it too you. Opening the first page you froze, stiffening a laugh. "Is-is this the book? Are you sure?"

"I'd love to kiss you now If you'd like-" you spoke. Sparking new confidence in the woman who put her hands on your shoulder. Before stopping looking at you. Tilting your head to the side in, biting her bottom lip she moved forwards, eyes fluttering shut as yours did too.

Cold, practically ice cold lips were pressed firmly-yet in an unsure way, soft yet It still kept her rough nature in it. Cradling her face in your hands you brought her closer. Her lips warming up the longer they stayed against yours. A buzzlike pur vibrated from the back of her throat. Smiling against her your arms moved to wrap around her neck, her hands moved to your waist rubbing comfortably under your shirt a bit. Pushing you down gently, never once breaking the kiss she moved to straddle your hips biting playful at your bottom lip before pulling away, smiling in a uncharacteristically gentle happy way down at you

"That was lowly Lady Cass-"

"Just call me Cassandra. We practically made out so safe to say you can drop the formality" Cassandra snickered moving to lay next to you. An arm snaked under you pulling you almost on top of her-the other moved around your waist hugging you in a way.

"If I only followed that book Daniela gave me. Then we'd been here sooner" Cassandra spoke a buzz like pur escaping her throat as she did. Putting your head under her chin you smiled- but then curiosity caught up to you. Leaning back as much as she'd allow you looked over at her

"Yes. It is why. What's so funny?

"This is a book about how to see signs if a cat likes you."

[ts1989fanatic]

TS7 is finally here!

If you’re like me or any of the millions of Swifties out there, the arrival of this next era is just as exciting as a brand-new bookshelf full of reads you get to experience for the first time.

After listening to the album on repeat all weekend, I decided to celebrate Lover with a book roundup inspired by each of the songs (since it’s the only thing I’ll be listening to for the foreseeable future, don’t @ me.).

ts1989fanatic an interesting perspective well written obviously a swiftie.

1. “I Forgot That You Existed” (Best Friends Forever, by Jennifer Weiner)

You heard it from Taylor first: indifference is the new vengeance. This solid album-opener is upbeat and poppy, a nice contrast with the lyrics about the (final?) end of a broken relationship, friendship (or feud), when you actually forget that the person you once had so much ire for still lives. She transitions from “Your name on my lips, tongue-tied/Free rent, living in my mind” to “forgot that you existed/and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t” with ease. But of course, insisting that you forget someone existed while singing about them would introduce interesting tension into any relationship. It reminded me of Jennifer Weiner’s Best Friends Forever, about what happens when a former friend shows up on your doorstep in a crisis, insisting you’re the only one who can help them out of a tight spot (when you’d rather do anything but).

2. “Cruel Summer” (Do You Want to Start a Scandal, by Tessa Dare)

Lyrically and sonically, this is one of my favorites on the entire album (it’s so good it should have been a single!) It’s got an Out of the Woods meets Getaway Car vibe in terms of the melody. Wistful, a bit haunting, but also a total bop. “So cut the headlights, summer’s a knife/I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” describes a low point in Swift’s life (Summer 2016, ugh), juxtaposed with the high of discovering new love. There are so many books I could have picked for this, but “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” reminded me of the Regency romance trope where the heroine has a secret, or finds herself in a situation where her reputation is at stake, but is still tempted by a handsome rogue who might lead her into temptation and true love. (Sound a bit familiar?) Do You Want to Start a Scandal by Tessa Dare feels like the perfect accompaniment to this song about a woman who must prove her innocence in the face of a sullied reputation or be forced to marry a man she doesn’t think she could ever love.

3. “Lover” (Roomies, by Christina Lauren)

The title track (and the one I’ve been singing in the shower for days) is a swoony daydream of a couple in complete harmony, as Swift spins wedding vow-like lyrics such as “With every guitar string scar on my hand/I take this magnetic force of a man to be my…lover/My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue/all’s well that end’s well to end up with you/swear to be overdramatic and true/to my…lover.” But Swift is all about balance in her songs, so imagery of keeping up the Christmas lights in “our place” is juxtaposed with suspicion that “everyone who sees you wants you.” This track reminded me of Roomies by Christina Lauren, with its musician main character and the trope of having to share a space while inevitably falling in love.

4. “The Man” (The Whisper Network, by Chandler Baker)

The double-standards between men and women have been explored in songs and novels since both art forms existed. Swift has already confronted the media’s perception of her as a victim, as a girl who goes on too many dates but can’t make them stay, etc. But in “The Man”, she more directly confronts how different she’d be treated if she were the opposite gender. How could I not think of the new thriller The Whisper Network, about a group of women who come forward about their male boss’ behavior of harassment in the workplace. Instead of continuing to suffer in silence, they tell the truth, resulting in an explosive conflict. I sort of saw the ending coming, but was very glad I was right.

5. “The Archer” (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Another slower, lyric-driven track on the album with gut-punching truths about love, friendship, and holding on to the one who has your heart. “The Archer” is associated with being a Sagittarius (which Swift is), but also her dynamic with the world. “Who could ever leave me, darling?/But who could stay?” is self-aware in a new way for Swift, as is “I never grew up, it’s getting so old” or “I see right through me.” This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, as Swift confronts her cultivated image as both archer and prey of fame and of love. Listening to the rising energy of the track as it builds to a anti-fairy-tale crescendo plus Swift’s lyrics made me think of Pride and Prejudice: Elizabeth Bennet is forced to acknowledge how her own prejudices have made it difficult for others to love her, but that she is deserving of an imperfect love. (And how could “All of my enemies started out friends” not remind you of awful Mr. Wickham?)

6. “I Think He Knows” (The Duke and I, by Julia Quinn)

After a slower song, this heats things up a bit, describing the early sizzle of a relationship before it even starts. For an entire album that sings the praises of a man, I liked the moment in the pre-chorus where she says “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand.” Own your worth, girl! The bridge was my favorite part of this song (as it often is with Swift; girl knows how to bridge) as it played with tempo and rhyme. “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh/We can follow the sparks, I’ll drive.” Swift explores the tension of the moment between seeing someone and initiating contact—songs like these always sting with a bit of danger, too, because the man knows she wants him but neither of them say anything in public about it. She’s whispering in the dark, which gives me serious secret romance vibes. The Duke and I by Julia Quinn is about Simon, who is planning to propose to his BFF’s sister even though he doesn’t actually love her. It’s an arrangement that suits them both, but before they both know it, Daphne is giving Simon serious “I Think he Knows” vibes.

7. “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” (The Cheerleaders, by Kara Thomas)

If you don’t get the oft-spoken adage that “politics is like high-school,” this song takes the metaphor to the next level. Subtly political but 100% heartbreaking, Swift reimagines the political sphere (and her role in it) as a high school romance, moving from “American glory, faded before me,” painting the democratic 2016 election loss as a ripped-up prom dress (from Miss Americana, who assumed she would win.) Oozing drama and storytelling the way only Swift can, I love the moody elements of the brokenhearted girl contrasted with the new riff on a cheerleading chant (Go Fight Win!). This song is about mourning loss and then finding the strength to say “I know we’re going to win,” but it’s haunting melody and lyrics led me to pick a Cheerleader-inspired thriller. The Cheerleaders is about a string of cheerleaders murdered in a small town five years ago… and just when everyone thinks it’s time to move on, one girl becomes the center of a mystery that never truly died.

8. “Paper Rings” (The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan)

I’m on my fourth listen of the album and this might be my favorite track on it (though that changes minute by minute, with an album as dynamic as this—just to further accentuate the point, by the time of posting this piece, my new favorite might be I Think He Knows?). It’s a totally retro, ’60s style song—a totally fresh sound for Swift, and one that fits perfectly with her new aesthetic. (Makes me wonder why this wasn’t one of the singles released before the record.) It is a gold-mine for Swiftian lyricism, with so many gems I can’t possibly call them all out, and it moves so fast (like a good read) that you both want to cascade over them and pause to hear each line at least 5x before it passes you by. It’s an unabashed love song, relishing in the joy of knowing you’re with the one you love so much that “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”. The line that stuck out the most was “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this,” which made me think of when Bex Porter goes to Oxford in The Royal We and, completely by accident, falls in love with the heir to the throne.

9. “Cornelia Street” (Passion on Park Avenue, by Lauren Layne)

“Cornelia Street” is sort of the antithesis to I Think He knows. It’s about remembering the early days of a new relationship (“We were a fresh page on the desk/filling in the blanks as we go”) and being more than willing to give up all the good that comes with fresh starts in order to settle into something real. It aches with melancholy, because any time we give something up should be a little sad—but it brims with hope and Swift’s trademarked optimism about love. “I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again/ That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend.” I had to pick an NYC-set story for this, like Lauren Layne’s Passion on Park Avenue. The city is another character in the romance between a successful jewelry-business owner and the son of the woman her mother used to work for.

10. “Death By a Thousand Cuts” (Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better, by Madisen Kuhn)

Inspired by the Netflix movie Something Great, this is one of the few sad songs on the record, about a girl going through a breakup who can’t help but linger in happier memories. (For the record: “I dress to kill my time” is genius, as are so many of these lyrics.) Only Swift is so good at pairing such devastating messaging with a pop beat you can’t help but want to sing. This song was the hardest one to pick a book for (especially because it’s already inspired by a movie) so I decided to go with a poetry collection! Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better is all about the aches and sun rays of growing up, told in a staggeringly relatable voice that will make you want to curl up on the couch and cry your eyes out.

11. “London Boy” (Red, White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston)

This is 100% about Joe Alwyn, but also… Taylor dated at least two Brits that we know of before him, so this song is also about what we already knew (“the rumors are true”): she has a penchant for London Boys. Essentially a road map of her favorite places in the city, this indulgent ditty trades “Tennessee Whiskey” for “A gray sky, a rainy cab ride” and of course, her man by her side. Red, White, and Royal Blue is the perfect pick for this song, about two boys who fall in love (after a rough start where they were almost enemies) amidst those gray, rainy skies… but one of them happens to be the son of an American President, and the other, the current Prince of England.

12. “Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)” (Swamplandia! by Karen Russell)

Of all the songs on the album, this one gave me the most vintage Swift vibes. There’s no denying that she is an astonishingly talented songwriter, especially when you listen to what is essentially her greatest fear laid bare on this track with just a bit of guitar and the Dixie Chicks harmonizing in the background. Here, the story shines: Swift’s mother has been sick for a number of years, and while they’ve mostly kept the details of that battle private, this is the most vulnerable moment of love for her mother on an album mostly about finding true love. “Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you/Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus, too.” A friend of mine recently lost their mother just after getting married, and it made me marvel at how life often delivers us highs and lows to grapple with simultaneously. While all of this was going on—Kanye and Kim, Joe and London, another world tour, another album—in the background, Swift has been terrified of losing her mother. This song made me think of Swamplandia!, a novel about a young girl living in a gator-wrestling theme park where her mother used to be the main event, until she passed away. Now, in the wake of her death, the girl and her siblings must grapple with their mother’s legacy as a competing business rises up to swallow the success she built on the swamp.

13. “False God” (City of Girls, by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Is that a saxophone in the background of a Taylor Swift song? This slow, jazzy number is all about love and desire—and how we come back to it even when the world around us (and sometimes we, ourselves) put it in jeopardy. “And I can’t talk to you when you’re like this/Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town/I’m New York City” and other lyrics referencing New York seem to be the grounding force in an otherwise tumultuous relationship. Multiple times on this record Swift has alluded to rough patches in her current happiness, but connection is always the solution to fixing it. She seems to say that if you treat your relationship like it’s your religion, you can get through anything. This is one of the sexier songs on the album, but it’s also got serious NYC vibes, so I’m picking City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert: a novel all about relishing romance in the glitzy 1940’s New York Theater scene, but also how desire can either set us on the road to ruin, or redemption.

14. “You Need to Calm Down” (The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid)

This song has done what Swift does best: inspire conversation and a bit of controversy. Acknowledging that it was past time for her to be an outspoken ally for the LGBTQIAP+ community, YNTCD tackles the various ways communities are pitted against one another (especially on the internet.) The first verse examines her personal haters (“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out/But you say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out), the second calls out homophobes (“Shade never made anybody less gay”), and the third examines how her relationships with her female contemporaries have often been antagonistic, something she herself has been responsible perpetuating in the past with songs like “Bad Blood” and “Better Than Revenge” (“We all know now, we all got crowns/you need to calm down.”) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about a famous actress who hid the great female love of her life behind multiple male partners and uses her platform to tell the truth (all while hiding one last devastating secret). While Taylor herself has not come out as part of the LGBTQ community, she has come out as an ally, and this book made me think about the issues of privacy, platform, allyship, and identity that the song also confronts. If there’s more to the story of Swift’s relationship to the LGBTQIAP+ community, she’s going to share it on her own terms.

15.“Afterglow” (Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams)

This song ranks high on my favorites from the album, and it’s a rare genre from Swift: the apology song. (The other famous one is Speak Now’s “Back to December.”) In this mid-tempo song with slamming drums and a breathy falsetto, Swift yearns for the partner she pushed away to meet her in the moments after the fight ends. “It’s all me, in my head/I’m the one who burned us down/ but it’s not what I meant,” she insists. There’s still hope here though, as opposed to earlier songs on the record that signal the doom of a friendship or a breakup after-the-fact. Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams, is a novel about a girl coming to terms with her role in a failed relationship, a career she can’t seem to succeed in, and friends she unknowingly betrays. “Why’d I have to break what I love so much?” is a question asked in this song’s chorus, and one Queenie must answer in order to find real, lasting happiness.

16. “ME! (feat. Brendon Urie)” (Crazy Rich Asians, by Kevin Kwan)

This self-love anthem is bubblegum sweet and full of earworms: the “Shake it Off“ of the TS7 Era. It makes me think of lightning-fast beach reads that you can’t put down and that feel so good to read but also have a deeper meaning to them. Just because it’s not the most lyrically advanced of her songs doesn’t mean this bop doesn’t deserve to be celebrated— it reminded me of how romances constantly get a bad rep (lol, see what I did there?) as somehow lesser than other genres. I love that Taylor doesn’t care about what other people think and is 100% focused on being her authentic self— just like the heroine of Crazy Rich Asians, Rachel Chu. When confronted with the wealth and expectations of her boyfriend Nick’s family (who don’t think she’s good enough for him), she insists it’s her individuality that makes her the perfect partner for him.

17. “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” (This Love Story Will Self-Destruct, by Leslie Cohen)

This track might be my second favorite? It’s so different (Ukulele? Trombone? Is that what I’m hearing?) and such a contrast to the beginning of the album, the opener closes the door on a once meaningful friendship. It’s also a deceiving song, in that I’m still not 100% sure what it’s about. I think Swift is exploring the importance of friendship in all its forms: in childhood (“School bell rings, walk me home”) to adolescence “Something gave you the nerve/to touch my hand”) to romantic love (“Church bells ring, carry me home/rice on the ground looks like snow”). Ultimately, she may be saying that the most important thing about a romantic partner is that they make you feel like you have a friend—when you’re young, the thing that matters most is feeling seen by other people. If your lover is also your best friend, then you know they always have your back. A love story that takes place over two characters’ twenties, This Love Story Will Self-Destruct is about the missteps, betrayals, beautiful moments and connection that forms between two people over a decade.

18. “Daylight” (Evvie Drake Starts Over, by Linda Holmes)

“My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in.” What a way to begin this album closer. Swift’s last tracks have a tradition of being the ones that are most emblematic of her current state of mind, but they also have developed certain themes over time. Renewal, starting over, self-reflection, and hope are all subjects “Daylight” sheds a little light on. She acknowledges past failings (“I wounded the good and trusted the wicked”) and what she wants for the future (“I once believed love would be [burning red]/but it’s golden”). A book that feels like daylight on your skin is what’s needed for this song, and I think Evvie Drake Starts Over is the perfect pick: a story about a woman still grieving the loss of her husband but who finds herself moving on with a former major league baseball player. Both of them have pasts they are healing from, but together, they find hope for the future. “I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night/and now I see daylight.” And, unlike (I think?) any other song in her catalogue, she speaks in the end, not sings, in a direct appeal to her audience. Her very last words are “You are what you love.” Well, I love Taylor Swift. I love a good song lyric to sink my teeth into, or to sing. I love love. And I love a good story, whether it comes from a song or a book, and when you’re done with the album, I hope you find some here.

[melisfits]

Get two know me

basics what’s your name ➔ Melissa do you have a nickname ➔ Hobbit do you have a middle name ➔ - do you like your name ➔ No do people often mispronounce your name ➔ No do you like the meaning of your name ➔ 'Honeybee’ like why when is your birthday ➔ 21 December how old are you ➔ 22 do you like your age ➔ No, responsibilities ew.  what’s your zodiac sign ➔ Sagittarius

appearance what’s your hair colour ➔ Half blonde, half brown is your current hair colour your natural hair colour ➔ The blonde is a bit lighter, but I am naturally blonde do you dye your hair ➔ Yes do you have natural highlights ➔ No idea when was the last time you had a haircut ➔ Few months ago what length is your hair right now ➔ Just a little longer than my schoulders do you have straight, wavy or curly hair ➔ Wavy do you have frizzy hair ➔ Yes do you use a curling iron ➔ No do you use a hair straightener ➔ No do you braid your hair ➔ I am too lazy for all of this what’s your eye colour ➔ Green/Grey/Blue do your eyes change colour ➔ Yes, because of the light do you wear contacts ➔ No if so, do you use colour contacts or regular contacts ➔ - do you wear glasses ➔ No do you have naturally long eyelashes ➔ Yes do you wear braces ➔ No do you have dimples ➔ One, which is odd do you have moles ➔ Yes do you have outstanding cheekbones ➔ I am known for my cheekbones. I don’t like them though. do you have freckles ➔ Yes, but I never go in the sun so they’re not that visible. do you have piercings ➔  Used to have a nosepiercing. do you have tattoos ➔ Yes. do you wear make up ➔ Yes. do you paint your nails ➔ Yes do you wear jewelry ➔  Sometimes. are you happy with your height ➔ Yes. personality would you consider yourself outgoing or shy ➔ Shy are you sarcastic  ➔ Not at all *coughs* what’s your biggest fear ➔ People what’s your guilty pleasure ➔ K-pop & Backstreet Boys are you religious ➔ Nah. do you get easily along with people ➔ I usually don’t get into any fights and I think it’s not that hard to be friendly, but at the same time I often feel extremely different and an outsider. do you cry easily ➔ Yes, highly sensitive.

school do you go to middle school ➔ No do you go to high school ➔ Already graduated do you go to a private school ➔ No are you home schooled ➔ I wish have you gratuated from school ➔ Yes what grade are you in ➔ Last year of college have you skipped a grade ➔ I could have, but my mother decided not to because of my fear of failure. have you been held back a grade ➔ No have you ever failed a class  ➔ Yes have you been sent to the principals office ➔ Yes but funnily enough I had been chosen as the ‘most trustworthy’ person and had to represent my class along with a few others. We had some problems with two teachers and our mentors wanted honest kids to repesent the class. No idea how I got chosen, as I were heavily bullied.  have you skipped school ➔ Surprise, I have. On several occasions actually. Mom had allowed me to skip school a few times when I was very depressed and suicidal, or when I was on my period and I also accidentally skipped school a few times. Furthermore I am that kind of person who skipped school in order to meet Slash, but my teacher knew about it and understood haha. have you cheated on a test ➔ Once, but the girl had a lower grade than I had hahaha. family do you live with your biological parents ➔ My mom do you get along with your parents ➔ Mom do you tell your parents everything ➔ No do you have strict parents ➔ Sometimes do you have siblings ➔ 3 are you the oldest ➔ Yes are you in the middle ➔ No are you the youngest ➔ No are all of your grandparents still alive ➔ My grandfather is friendships do you have a best friend ➔ I decided not to call anyone my best friend after my first best friend didn’t want to hangout with me anymore. The first day of high school had been terrible and I accidentally ran into an older student. The entire group started to bully me and I was already being bullied a lot. I sat down and started crying and told my friend to just go home, that I would call my mother because I felt really bad. My mother however received a phonecall from my ‘best friend’ and she told her that I completely misbehaved myself and that she didn’t wanted to be seen with me anymore. My mother got angry at me, but after explaining what happened she was just as clueless as I was. This has actually been quite traumatic for me, especially because I needed a friend and she ran away, probably out of fear of being bullied herself. So no best friends for me. do you have more than 10 friends ➔ Yes. I consider every person who I like to be my friend. do you have at least 2 friends you can trust with your life ➔ Luckily enough yes.  do you have a lot of guy friends, a lot of girl friends or equal girl and guy friends ➔ I never really think about their sex tbh. Probably equal? do you text with your friends a lot ➔ I can, but I am not always that talkative. Forgive me if I don’t message you.  relationships what’s your relationship status ➔ Single, hitting the music charts. have you ever been in love ➔ Ew yes. do you believe in love at first sight ➔ No, I believe in crushes at first sight, but not love. have you ever been in a relationship ➔ Yes have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ Yes xD have you ever been asked out on a date ➔ Yes have you ever been kissed ➔ Yes have you ever made out with someone ➔ Yes have you ever been cheated on ➔ Several times (thanks for giving me trust issues) have you ever been proposed to ➔ YES HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA. BY STRANGERS do you want to get married ➔ Yes do you want kids ➔ No comment. country where were you born ➔ The Netherlands where do you live right now ➔ In a house, wow. have you ever been out of the country ➔ Yes. do you prefer country or city ➔ Country. do you like sightseeing ➔ Yeah is one or more of your parents from another country ➔ No, but I have a Dutch and German nationality. It’s a mystery to all of us. what places would you like to visit  ➔ London (again), San Diego Comic Con, Download Festival, The Harry Potter themepark, all Disney World parks.  are you fluent in more than one language ➔ I wouldn’t say I am fluent in English so no. what languages can you speak ➔ Dutch & English, and I can understand German. health do you have any allergies ➔ Sun, dust & wool are you lactose intolerant ➔ No have you had surgery ➔ Not yet (help, my wisdom teeth is being a pain in the mouth) have you had stitches ➔ No have you broken a bone ➔  No (I am a magical creature) has someone close to you died of a disease ➔ Yes, cancer do you exercise a lot  ➔ Yeah my mind experiences have you ever had a near death experiene ➔ I think an abusive father who wants to kill you, your mother and sister counts right? have you ever been on a plane ➔ No have you ever had an allnighter ➔ That’s staying up the entire night right? have you ever been to school/work after a sleepless night ➔ Yes. Haha, I once just came back from London (by bus) and had to go to college right away. have you ever been in a physical fight ➔ Yes have you ever been to a wedding ➔ Yes have you ever been to a funeral ➔ Yes have you ever lived in a different country ➔ No have you ever been drunk ➔ No have you ever been trick or treating ➔ We don’t do that in my country :( have you ever been in a school play ➔ Yes have you ever been to a camp ➔ Yes have you ever driven a car ➔ No skills how many languages are you fluent in ➔ 1 have you ever read a book in another language ➔ Plenty  can you roll your tongue ➔ Yes can you braid hair ➔ Yes, but I suck can you do a handstand ➔ NOPE habits do you crack your knuckles ➔ Yes do you bite your nails ➔ No do you bite your lips ➔ Not that I’m aware of favourites what’s your favourite movie ➔ Oh no, not favourites. Rip me. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Marvel, The Lost Boys, Interview with the Vampire, Frankenstein, The Crow, Scream, Finding Neverland, Runaway Vacation (HAHAHHAA), Edward Scissorhands, Star Wars, The Hunger Games, Maleficent, Cry Baby, Ten Things I Hate About You, Pocahontas, Mulan, Hercules, what’s your favourite tv show ➔ Supernatural, The Walking Dead, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Jessica Jones, Charmed, Game of Thrones, That 70s Show, Friends, Once Upon a Time, Scream, Reign, Stranger Things, American Horror Story, Bates Motel what’s your favourite book ➔ Harry Potter (I grew up reading the books and I feel like Harry Potter has always been there with me) what’s your favourite song ➔ November Rain - Guns N’ Roses, The Chain - Fleetwood Mac, Flesh for Fantasy - Billy Idol (don’t judge omg), Lovesong - The Cure, Rebel Rebel - David Bowie, What Difference Does it Make? - The Smiths, The Sacrament - HIM, Kashmir - Led Zeppelin, People Are Strange - The Doors, Iron Sky - Paolo Nutini, Atmosphere - Joy Division, Another Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd, Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen, All Ends Well - Alter Bridge, Crying Lightning - Arctic Monkeys, Little Miss Disaster - The Damned. I have more help. what’s your favourite colour ➔ Black what’s your favourite animal ➔ Sloths what’s your favourite season ➔ Spring this or that summer or winter ➔ Summer  day or night ➔ Night cats or dogs ➔ Dogs rain or shine ➔ Shine. Rain ruins my hair and I can always hide in the shadows for the sun. coffee or tea ➔ Tea reading or writing ➔ Both humorous or serious ➔ Also both brown or blue eyes ➔ Both are pretty single or group dates ➔ Single texts or calls ➔ 100% anti calls. Texts please. driving or walking ➔ Sitting while somebody else is driving because I can’t drive. last last phone call ➔ Mom last text ➔ Erica last song you listened to ➔ Always Where I Need to Be - The Kooks last thing you ate ➔ Vegan burger last thing you drank ➔ Water last purchase ➔ Fred & George Weasley funko’s omg. last time you cleaned your room ➔ Help last time you’ve been on a date ➔ 6 Months ago I think. But it was very confusing. I was pretty much trying to trust a person after having been single for 6 years and I have no idea what we had. He didn’t want a relationship because he wasn’t ready and I was fine with that. But I was not fine with him messing with my feelings the way he did. Receiving mixed signals is just messed up. The one day he was talking about ‘if we ever get married’, then another day he says ‘I saw this girl walking yesterday and fell in love’, another day he is begging me not to go home, and yet another day he is openly flirting on Facebook on a post which I also replied to while he is ignoring me. He didn’t really treated me bad when I was with him, he was actually really kind to me. But I can’t deal with mixed signals. It makes me feel like I am not good enough so I got out of it. Actually quite proud of this, as it means I am really progressing and I have become more immune to manipulation.