#im writing cassandra and half this stuff im having her do

[ayotamacheck]

I'm so happy you like Cassandra! I warn you this is messy and kinda long. So possible spoilers for a story not even written?: Basically early on in the story it's discovered, unsurprisingly, that Pufferfish is doing illegal things on the the side so the main gang decides to take matters in their own hands (who is apart of the gang and how is still being worked on, but I know it includes Yuri, Surya, and Scott. Yuri who is understandingly concerned about Cassie farming with a shoulder injury. Surya who becomes best friend #1 and accidental wingman. And Scott who's just here for a good time) As the story goes along Cassie starts having weird dreams and it's revealed that there's some sort of shadow monster thing sleeping deep within the island and Pufferfish is waking it up. So yeah that's a problem.

Then the whole third eye awakening thing happens with the chieftain; Cassie starts doing the bundles and slowly becomes the "vessel" for the Goddess. A domino effect of magical shenanigans happen, the gang becomes "Team Starlet", Ling and the chieftain become team advisors from home base aka the lab. Kira, Wakuu, and a Poyko detective oc I made just for this get involved eventually. And Ben somehow?? Also shoutout to Raj and his coffee and Theo gets the merfolk's support as well.

Lily hacks into Karen's computer at one point. A group chat gets made. Jim probably punches someone. Chaem definitely punches someone. Cassie punches several people. The "final battle" comes along and Cassie legit dies for a second but its okay she gets better. The whole town helps out in their own way even if they realize it or not.... Poor Connor doesn't know what's happening. He's surprised he hasn't had a heart attack yet.

Varying subplots and miscellaneous things involve: Lily going through a sexuality crisis which cultivates in her and Jim having a really sweet moment were she comes out. And then a few days later, Jim nearly goes into shock when he realizes that it's Cassandra of all people Lily likes. Theo's just confused on how Lily ended up dating a jock. Poor Scott gets subjected to an entire combat training montage, thanks to Kira and Cassie, cause they need his archeologist skills in the cavern but he has to be able to defend himself. Also possibly a roommates to lovers situation with him and Charles?? I'm still on the fence. Oh and Cassie keeps quiet about her past for the first half of the story, except to Yuri and Charles cause of health reasons, nobody recognizes her except Chaem vaguely. So when the truth finally comes out everyone's in awe besides Chaem whose just shouting that she knew her from somewhere. And last but not least towards the end (year 4ish?) Cassie's twin brother Jason moves to the island cause of unfigured out reasons.

So yeah that's all I've got so far. I'm so sorry about the length I wanted to ramble more than I thought I did. I really want to write a proper fanfic about it but I have a horrible track record when it comes to stories. Not to mention I don't have a computer to use and I hate using my phone to type stories.... So wish me luck I guess? 😂

YOOO WHAT?? this is literally so cool!!

no joke this reads like it would be the plot of a whole tv show. an AMAZING fic at the very least. all ive got is this summary and im already super invested!! i love the roles you're giving to npcs; the main gang feels like they would be super fun to see interactions between, especially as stuff develops :0 and the portion with lily and jim having a really sweet moment when she comes out is so cute!! wingman surya?? top tier perfect in every way. and the idea of scott getting a whole training montage is so funny i can't 😭😭 (and possible roommate to lovers?? 👀👀 ooh??👀👀)

AND a twin brother at the end too?? amazing??

if you wrote a fic for this id read it so fast!! this is so cool im so invested already 😭 don't apologize about the length at all im loving every word, do not hesitate to send me more if you think it up 👀

[albaitross]

Reminder to self to flesh out and organize my girl's Persona/SMT verse at some point lmao lmao

(also possible verse notes below bc im still trying to figure it out but also might as well put what i have down in writing Somewhere before i forget again lol)

.

general stuff:

20+ lady, aroace - black hair and black eyes that turn red when she drops the human act, east-asian features

usually dressed in either the scruffiest of scruffy pajamas or looks like an elegant hostess. there is no in-between in her dress sense.

works either as a journalist or an editor for a publishing company, depending

is a half-angel, half-human existence i.e. Nephilim

thusly chased across the cosmos by both Law and Chaos - the former because she contrives divine Order by existing at all and the latter because her existence technically opposes the forces of Law, their nemesis, and thus they want her on their side

personally, she thinks this is all bullshit and would just like to live peacefully but noooooooooo the universal forces at play are Fucking Idiots

primarily lives on Earth, and is both fond of and skeptical of humanity's values - she likes how they can do true good and uplift their fellows, and yet, knows all too well that every human has the potential to commit despicable acts, if they don't outright succumb to such "temptation" quickly; this endeavor of moral grappling is prevalent no matter where and when she is, as she simply cannot understand why someone would want to do something 'bad' (though whether this is from her Law heritage or just simple human uncertainty is unclear).

despite the above, her personality is that of a cheerful yet coy person, used to acting in subtle and indirect ways - she is a generally nice and helpful person, but obtaining her assistance absolutely requires one to decipher a lot of cryptic speech and roundabout manipulations. and of course, convincing her at all to help; she wants no part in the power plays of Law and Chaos, preferring to remain a neutral bystander to practically everything unless it directly concerns her.

and due to all of the above, she has a weird view of herself - of what being half-human but also half-inhuman. at times, she's quite happy to be human, as she dislikes the blue-orange morality of Law and Chaos, but at other times, she dislikes humanity, due to their avarice and cruelty, and quite strongly thinks of herself as 'apart' from most ordinary humans, with extreme cases having her tilt firmly into a "not human and thus different compared to all these disgusting humans" headspace. overall and usually though, she sees that she's just another creature/existence in the vast universe, capable of all the same things, and as such doesn't think too hard about her own moralities (for her own mental wellbeing lol)

another thing she might like talking extensively about, aside from her philosophical psychoanalysis of humans, is the nature of truth - or rather, the fact that humans seem to not like the truth, and that the ones who do embrace it or at least willing to be open-minded are "worthy". this stems from past experiences trying to get people to believe her when it comes to supernatural things but constantly being brushed off until it's likely too late - she deeply sees herself as a modern Cassandra, as such.

game-specific details:

all games:

being half-human, she's capable of manifesting a persona despite kinda being half-persona already. if her persona is capable of evolving, she starts off with Satan and evolves into Lucifer and then to Helel - otherwise, her only persona would be Helel.

she can also see and visit the Velvet Room, but she would be treated more like a passing visitor who isn't really allowed to access the room's services (though she's welcome to just chat amicably with the assistants).

regarding roaming mob shadows - there's a truly random 50-50 chance that they will or will not attack her on sight. most are generally confused about her existence, sensing the human but also not-human part of her. that said, some factors do affect this: more "intelligent" shadows will likely not attack her, while shadows that be considered under the Law alignment are more likely to be aggressive with her. regardless, she is able to communicate with all shadows.

generally, she is associated with Light/Bless, Dark/Curse, Psy and Almighty elements. more lowkey, she is also associated with Fire.

P3:

capable of walking around in the Dark Hour with or without an awakened persona. she likely will not intervene with SEES, as she doesn't particularly care if humanity dooms themselves, but is still curious to see how things will unfold regarding Nyx - if they will give up in the face of their stupidity, or be able to fight what's to come.

post-P3, she's quite impressed with the protagonist for giving themselves up to become the Seal, and sees them as one of the rare examples of humanity's truest potential and worth.

P4:

lowkey on Izanami's side tbh, but still not actively intervening bc again, it doesn't really concern her, also she's curious to see what the Humans(TM) will do. she is absolutely able to enter the Midnight Channel and clearly navigate the fog with or without an awakened persona - but because she's still partly human, she can also manifest a shadow of her own while in there.

her shadow will likely be rather misanthropic of humans, but also all kinds of people and existences, wondering how everyone can force their own views and powers over others - but simultaneously, thinking that since she understands all this, she's undoubtedly better than everyone, as a person with "better moral mores", and that if anyone should decide the Order of the universe, it ought to be her and her insight.

P5:

honestly not a fan of Mr. Igor Impersonator, and is steering extremely clear of the Velvet Room throughout the plot. this also means that she utterly avoids entering the Metaverse unless she absolutely must, and generally tries to avoid directly being in the wardens' line of sight if so - which is to say, she can directly enter the deeper levels, but this requires a lot of effort on her part + she's more astral projecting her spirit into the other side, rather taking her full, actual self there, which can be far more dangerous to herself in addition to leaving her body vulnerable in the meantime.

(if she meets Jose, she will be very fond of him, because he's so innocently simple to her. she will give him all the stamps he wants sygyusgyusuy)

Also is not intervening in the Phantom Thieves matter, though she's still closely following the developments as she likes their rebellious spirit against the norms of society

she's most probably a journalist, so she will be quite informed of anything on the news.

when Maruki(TM) happens in the third semester, she will also be affected - her delusion is that she's a normal human living with a normal family. though, the whole time, she will feel "extremely off".

should she realise she's been put under a delusion, she will feel quite annoyed at Maruki, because she already knows that as much as she wants to be normal, she simply cannot, and the experiences she's had as a "not human" existence are deeply foundational to her own beliefs - putting her in a dream of otherwise is no better than enforcing control over others, even if it's for their own benefit. that said, she also highly empathizes with his ideals of making everyone happy. so overall, she's a little conflicted with him, and ultimately pities him as a human who is simply trying his best, however foolishly.

[kurosstuff]

Cassandra Dimitrescu x reader: Courting gone wrong?

Summary: Cassandra likes you, but with how she's "courting" you, you think she's constantly threatening you.

Warning(s): cassandra being a little feral shit, blood, violence, kinda detailed body detatchment(?), death(not readers), one or two dead animals, want to throw up(doesnt happen)

When you first became a maid you learned the rules fast, how to handle yourself around the Dimitrescu's sisters, to not draw attention.

All attention is bad attention no matter how you look at it.

Sure, being around Lady Bela is kinda safer then her sisters-she won't go around killing every maid in her way unless provoked. But even Bela is unsafe. That fact was proven once again when a maid spilt the mop bucket on her, she was shortly make into wine later on for the Lady of the house herself.

Lady Daniela was.. an interesting woman, but with how,, delusional she can be- she will attempt to recreate what she read but if you don't play along... well the mess left a stain for a month.

And the middle child- Lady Cassandra easily the most sadistic and purposefully dangerous of the sisters- be in the same room, possibility of survival is slim- look into her eyes? Speak a little louder then you should? Just sentenced yourself to tormented in a sick twisted game of hers, or if your lucky be personally dragged into the cellar for some wine making by Lady Cassandra herself. Of course it could be random as well-. So the one to look out for is Lady Cassandra from your own experiences with the sisters

Being the personal maid is usually fine as well, people say it's the golden ticket- it's anything but- especially if you so happen to be Lady Cassandra's personal Maid. Then no, it is not fine, out of the sisters-she has gone through the most personal maids, saying "Oh its fine! It's much more fun this way" or "they were far to boring to be my maid." And as her new maid. Well you accepted your fate soon enough, sad as it is- it's only a matter of time.

-

Cleaning her weaponry took longer then it usually does- seems like she had.. fun with her last playmate, the hand in the far back corner gave away the cleanup wasn't that successful. Drawing your attention back to dagger in your hand, a sigh escaped you, the bloody cloth drenching your apron in faded red as you scrubbed taking a moment or to as to wash the cloth in the bucket at your side. Soon enough the dagger looked almost as good as new- minus the damages to the handle itself the blade was shiny as ever.

Placing it down, as you moved to her- new favorite toy-a want to yell in annoyance filled your throat-but you gulped it down least you want unwanted company. A slight creek was heard behind you, looking back it was silent as it was in the room before, going back to cleaning a figure materialized behind you. Like a predator towards their prey, they crept up silently the bloody sickle by their side dripped liquid as they stalked forward, lifting the weapon up, slamming it down beside you- impaling the wood next to your head. A surprised squeak escaped you- a dark chuckle escaped the predator themselves behind you- revealing the one worse of any common predator. Lady Cassandra

"Aww little mouse. Did I scare you?" Snickering she stood back, watching you like a hawk, urging you to say something, all you did was stand up turn and bow not looking her in the eyes just yet- her smirk grew "well well, isn't this a sight. My lovely maid is all bloodied up." Looking at your apron in what sounded like fake concern

"no that will not do. Oh no not at all" Shaking her head slightly, Great seems like she's in a playful mood "the only one allowed to bloody you up is me. Not some dried up toy. Now go wash up" with a wave of her hand "then come back and wash my sickle"

"Of course Lady Cassandra" with that you hurriedly left.

-

Walking the corridors down to your room, was never fun, nor pleasant. Even now from your new room, all personal maids get their own room, sounds nice but not in the slightest. The room is near who they now belong to. Yours is infront of Lady Cassandra's room- something about how if she wants you to come to her, you won't take to long that way.

It's been- two months since you begin to be her personal Maid. One of the few longest who stayed Alive, even longer to not be hurt to much in Lady Cassandra's games. You'd say you'd be proud of it if you didn't want to jinx it. But as of late she seemed to find a new way to torment, one that didn't involve harming physically.

Opening the door, the rotten smell caught your attention first, the bloody mangled thing on your pillow. Your nose wrinkled at the smell- sighing as you walked towards the bed, at least the put the thing on a paper Towel- as if to not bloody your bed. Not sure why she cares now she's bloodied it before.

Grabbing a towel kept close for this reason you picked it up and went to the far garbage bin- looking at the thing in the bin. A cold shudder crept your spine- disgust filled you. If you saw this when you first joined you'd throw up- if not from the sight then the sickening smell.

It was a severed human hand

-

This wasn't the first time she's threanted you in this way, nor will it be the last time.

The first time it happened- whatever you'd wanna call it exactly. You assumed one of the sisters was upset with you. You almost screamed but stopped yourself. Anyone would if they opened their door and saw a dead tattered rabbit on the ground with a bloody letter saying 'Your eyes are pretty' not that great to wake up too. The letter itself also made your heartstop- the unsettling feeling of being watched didn't help either.

And it was a pain to clean as well- scrubbing the carpet until it left a faint pink mark, that took days to leave as well. The rabbit itself you buried in the backyard when you were able. Unknowing of the yellow eyes that watched you do so. The note itself if not bloody would have been sweet, but you threw it away right after, the unknowing threat creeped you out.

You assumed it was Lady Daniela who did this. Couldn't think of anyone else who would do such a thing. Imagine your surprise from the late, visitor that night

"I see the little mouse didn't like the present left for them?" A question made out to be a demand, sitting on your bed Lady Cassandra scuffed Glaring at you before bringing her attention elsewhere "hm. Your room is to boring. Put some statues in it- like the rabbit" She added fully aware of where it was kept

"Lady Cassandra- I'm very sorry. I didn't know it was you" you didn't wanna say it was a gift from her- cause- that'd be crazy- her of all people give a gift? No way, not in a million years. Even if you wanted it- which weirdly now that you think of it, you hoped it was. It would be much better then have it be some new threatening game of hers. Scuffing she stood, staring down at you before she could say anything-

Her mother called out to her- making her buzz off. Saved by the bell you guessed in a way. Switching aprons quickly you turned and went to your next job.

Cleaning the music room- not belonging just to Lady Bela but Lady Cassandra visits the room from time to time. She refuses to say why, but you have to guess she's good at music-or just liked to listen to it. The noises from the tightly locked room is always pleasant to hear. Luckily you don't have to go to far, opening the door you walked in closing it behind you.

"Well, hello little one." A voice called out, looking back you saw the only other Dimitrescu's who enters here the most- Lady Bela herself sitting at the piano, "Didn't expect to see Cassandra's pet entering here, much less looking healthy" She spoke mumbling the last part, not bothering to look up. She went back to the piano.

"Hello Lady Bela" you greeted before getting started to clean around, a hum was all you got, before a single piano key rung in the room stopping you for a moment, then another before a full on beautiful song started to play. Stealing a quick glance the Lady seemed to be in her element-not a blood filled one but and element anyways. Going back to cleaning all that left was the piano. You weren't allowed to touch the paintings or the music books littering the walls. So it doesn't take that long to clean thankfully

As the final key was hit Lady Bela stood with a silent hum, standing back for you to clean, watching you as you did. Brushing the towel over the keys as you sprayed, gently as to not push them accidentally. You closed of for a moment to clean the top seal of the keys before continuing

"Do you play?" Lady Bela asked suddenly, taking a seat beside you. Glancing at her quickly you went back to cleaning

"Not really my Lady. I've never played, never learned" you answered quickly, leaning forward she tried to catch your full attention.

"No? I can show you-" the door slammed open cutting her off, as a mass of bugs flew towards you both angrily

"What the fuck do you think your doing Bela." Cassandra spoke angrily grabbing you harshly pulling you up in a tight hold on your arm "this is my maid. Get your own damn maid." She hissed out pulling you along with her, once you both exited the room she glared at you- as if you really pissed her off, and in this case? You had.

" 'My Lady'" She mocked seething as she pulled you with her "what are you hers now? Don't like how I treat you so you go run off to the better sibling right?" Turning sharply she pulled you into a room. Her room. Letting you go, you rubbed your wrist slightly- the sight seemed to piss her off more "don't even try to lie to me either, I know it's true" she spoke her voice having a slight waver in it. You had to think quick- or this could be the last day on earth for you

"Lady Cassandra- I meant no offense I don't want to be her maid. I want to be just yours." Just yours, the words echoed in your mind, before you cringed at the thought. Would be disgusted if the younger you found out you'd later love the one who loved to torment you and the others. But luckily it seemed to please her, just a bit but enough.

"Good from now on if you are to clean when I'm in there. If you want to learn you will learn from me. Not some wannabe piano player. Got it" without waiting for a response-not that she'd need it she stalked forward caging you against the wall. "Now. You made me leave my meal behind. You wouldn't mind if I took a quick snack would you?" Lady Cassandra spoke leaning in close, her eyes narrowing as if actually waiting for consent. Nodding your head in agreement she smirked devilishly leaning close to your ear.

"I'll be gentle don't worry"

-

She was in fact not gentle at all.

She bit so hard and took so much you were on bedrest for a whole week- so weak to even stand up, it seemed like Lady Cassandra took pity on you as she carried you to your room, and actually tucked you in. Not before wrapping your neck surprisingly. With this- she was gentle, the blood drinking? No not at all. You were ordered not to talk in the meantime but you could tell she was- stressed. About what? You weren't sure

During the week of your recovery, you still were given threats. But not as bloody as the ones before. Just things made of bone? Or something. Or a random dead bird.

She still seemed to hate you even if she was caring for you? You assumed she was savoring her meal

-

When you were able to move around healthily again, you were given easier jobs for the time being. Just to follow your Lady around for the first part of the morning to cleaning her room. Then follow her to the music room. Then rest. And then repeat for the rest of the week

Lady Cassandra has been even more standoffish and quiet then she usually was. Even going as far as staying as far away from you as she can, even though she herself said you had to be near her when your out of your room. Huffing in annoyance as she fluttered away yet again, you knew where to find her around this time.

Her weapon room

One of the places she goes to most- especially if she feels upset or just wants to entertain herself for a bit. Her safe place. Quickly speedwalking there, you thought up a million things to say to her, to ask her whats the problem-hopefully you'll live, or you'll die trying to care.

Entering the words you rehearsed dried up as quickly as you figured it out. Gulping nervously, Lady Cassandra was currently stabbing a mannequin with her sickle-in a uncoordinated way. You called out to her causing her to stop for a moment. Letting her sickle go she let it stick in the mannequin as she turned to face you.

Guilt

Guilt on her face, not letting her look you in the eyes, the refusal to properly own up to her own personal mistake. She couldn't do it. She couldn't face you. Not look at the bandage on your neck- it was weird she could look at many inhuman horrible stuff and laughs-cause she causes it. But not this time.

Thinking quickly you decided to talk about random stuff that popped up in your head- moving around the room to clean as you did so. Slowly her eyes looked up over at you following you as you worked. "-and I thought it was kinda funny, how the man just gave his wife the animal as a gift and she just- left him? Like-" laughing softly. You gently wiped the scratched up table top. "Who even gives a dead animal as a gift though-?" Speaking the question aloud more so to yourself then the silent company in the room. Turning around back to the mannequin she finally spoke

"I mean. Giving animals and bones are pretty romantic right? Like that courting people do" Lady Cassandra awkwardly said her back turned to you. She seemed more tense then usual

Staying silent for a moment, you couldnt tell what she meant by that, but you assuned she was just confused or making a weird joke "I mean no one court's someone like that- that's for sure" you gave a soft laugh

She froze

"What..?" Turning to face you her face showed complete confusion, as if this was the first she's ever heard of such a thing. "You.. don't give dead animals to people you like for.. courting" She asked dumbfounded "or something like that of course" she hurriedly added.

"Um- yeah no. I'm not sure of anyone who gave such a thing to someone in a courting way" speaking you looked away to beginning cleaning again- failing to see Lady Cassandra's face paling even more then it already was "like for example, my father gave my mom some of her favorite flowers and books everytime he saw her." Explaining more in depth, Lady Cassandra looked more and more embarrassed the more you explained it too her

"Then what do you think I was doing this whole time" Lady Cassandra spoke before she could stop herself. Dropping the rag you turned to face her- seeing a red faced Lady Cassandra a shock too see but not unwelcomed "no. I didn't say that" pointing her pointer finger at you. She grumbled face deep red "no- i- stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"In awe at what I totally didn't say." Huffing she stormed up to you, standing before you eyes locked together once again. "Well? What do you have to say" breaking out of your trance you blinked looking at her before smiling

"Well if I'd known it was in a courting way, I'd tell you, I feel the same" your face felt warm, confessing in a room of weapons was the last thing you thought would happen. Much less to the person you just confessed too. Bringing her hands to your face she pulled you close to her gently, leaning her forehead against yours for a moment before speaking

"..can I kiss you" her voice surprisingly soft, ready to bounce back away if you declined all you did was nod in agreement. Smirking she leaned in-before freezing her breath on your lips. Then pulled away "wait. Hold on" zooming out dragging you with her she brought you to her room, then rushed to the bathroom. Coming back face fresh not a trace of dried or new blood, walking towards you again she led you to sit on the bed beside her. Waiting.

"Cassandra what was the book Lady Daniela gave you advice from?" You asked looking up in her arms, stopping for a moment, she shifted into a swarm of flies buzzing off but returning quickly with a blue book handing it too you. Opening the first page you froze, stiffening a laugh. "Is-is this the book? Are you sure?"

"I'd love to kiss you now If you'd like-" you spoke. Sparking new confidence in the woman who put her hands on your shoulder. Before stopping looking at you. Tilting your head to the side in, biting her bottom lip she moved forwards, eyes fluttering shut as yours did too.

Cold, practically ice cold lips were pressed firmly-yet in an unsure way, soft yet It still kept her rough nature in it. Cradling her face in your hands you brought her closer. Her lips warming up the longer they stayed against yours. A buzzlike pur vibrated from the back of her throat. Smiling against her your arms moved to wrap around her neck, her hands moved to your waist rubbing comfortably under your shirt a bit. Pushing you down gently, never once breaking the kiss she moved to straddle your hips biting playful at your bottom lip before pulling away, smiling in a uncharacteristically gentle happy way down at you

"That was lowly Lady Cass-"

"Just call me Cassandra. We practically made out so safe to say you can drop the formality" Cassandra snickered moving to lay next to you. An arm snaked under you pulling you almost on top of her-the other moved around your waist hugging you in a way.

"If I only followed that book Daniela gave me. Then we'd been here sooner" Cassandra spoke a buzz like pur escaping her throat as she did. Putting your head under her chin you smiled- but then curiosity caught up to you. Leaning back as much as she'd allow you looked over at her

"Yes. It is why. What's so funny?

"This is a book about how to see signs if a cat likes you."

[bluebeetle]

what IS the worst character assassination youve ever seen? i can think of some guesses but its a long list

its a VERY long list....

1) the time cassandra was evil and could also suddenly speak perfectly when she was previously struggling. it makes no sense. so much of her character was built on doing the right thing and not wanting to kill. it was so fucking stupid and im glad its long forgotten

2) whatever the fuck jason was doing in battle for the cowl and batman and robin 2009. some of it was ok in the latter but the former... he just went full evil villain without any of the nuance he had before. also red head jason my detested

3) wanda wanda wanda wanda. she gets this so many times. her in trial of magneto where shes calling erik daddy and stuff despite not knowing that man was her dad until she was a married adult woman.

avengers disassembled where she went ~~~crazy~~~ and killed a bunch of people.

house of m with the no more mutants thing. just yikes yikes yikes. they tried to fix it later by saying she was influence by dark magic and stuff and doctor doom played a role but then that got ignored.

she's still blamed for house of m by the xmen and other mutants even NOW where they all hate her still despite it that story literally being 15 years old

4) any time bruce is abusive and hits his kids. what the fuck. bonus points to all star batman and robin for being so bad at that, its acgtually kinda funny. he made dick eat RATS in a CAVE the DAY HIS PARENTS DIED IN FRONT OF HIM after calling him the r slur

5) damian almost being turned evil after teen titans 2016 and stuff; it got fixed thank god but hes been written like he has to redeem himself for it and that racist writing ugh

6) speaking of: talia going from a loving, caring person who hadnt even killed until she met bruce and did it in self defense, who sacrified her own happiness to make sure her child was safe and away from her father, who had morals and loved bruce to a scornful woman assassin who kills people indiscriminately, abuses her child, rapes the man she claims to love, and continues to meddle with his "real" love because shes jealous, and then clones her own son and gets that clone to murder her 11 year old, also has sex with bruce's 18 yr old son who she was taking care of.

yikes

7) trickster in countdown. why is he suddenly homophobic. he and pied piper have known each other for years, theyre both old silver age flash villains. pied piper was not quiet about being gay even back in the 90s. he interacted with trickster multiple times during that flash run prior to countdown. why does trickster suddenly make homophobic jokes. answer me dan didio. ANSWER ME

8) catch all for any bad live action versions. like. everything about mcu hawkeye is a crime agaisnt hawkeye. i mean other mcu characters suck but i feel bad for him bc he usually doesnt get that treatment. jason in titans. the mcu maximoffs. stripping loki of being nonbinary and bi.

9) why did wally become a mass murdered in heroes in crisis and then try to cover it up. i know it wasnt murdering on purpose ig but also it was just a bad storyline ugh.

10) akihiro being stripped of all personality to be the slutty bi guy in x-factor. die.

anyways notice how half of these are characters of colour? yeah tip of the iceberg lol. anyways....

[love-killed-the-superstar]

im still behind schedule but give it up for day 4!!!

CASSUNZEL WEEK DAY 4 - I’D GIVE ANYTHING

“So you’re leaving today?”

Rapunzel sits on the edge of Cassandra’s bed as early morning sunshine streams through the windows, flooding the room in a warm light that seeps like honey. It’s a little emptier now; Owl is waiting in the stables with Fidella, her travelling bags are packed up and set aside neatly by the door, half of Cass’s tiny personal armoury is gone. Most of the damage from the black rocks has been mended, and the new mismatched flooring is hidden beneath a deep red rug. Even the bed is bare, the sheets folded up neatly at the foot; it’s a blank canvas, save for the torn lady-in-waiting headdress folded neatly on her bare pillow.

“Yeah, this afternoon. My dad is taking me to some old fishing cabin. We’re going to spend a few days there, talk through stuff, spend some time together… and then after that, I’m on my own.”

Cass emerges from behind the divider set up in the corner of the room. She looks like a new woman. These last few weeks have been spent taking care of her health, working her back up to a healthy weight. Once the moonstone was gone, it became evident just how malnourished her body was after almost a year of neglecting any physical needs, running on magic alone. Now, however, the colour is back in her cheeks, and she looks… happy. So, so happy.

The outfit she’s wearing is one Rapunzel helped her pick out last week, once she broke the news that she was planning to go on a journey to clear her head and try to reevaluate her destiny. Rapunzel isn’t about to pretend it doesn’t hurt, seeing her in that green tunic and dark, dramatic cape; for as stunning as she is right now, Rapunzel knows in a matter of hours she’ll be gone.

“Do you have all your maps? Your cartography gear?”

“Sure do. The essentials are all packed. I promise you, I won’t get lost in the woods.”

“You’d better not, after I gifted you that new compass,” Rapunzel jokes, but her laughter catches a little in her throat, burns in her chest. Cass smiles, tugging a mismatched pair of gloves on. The one covering her weaker hand is lined with… some kind of metal? It looks closer to a gauntlet of sorts, than the simple leather glove on her other hand.

Cass catches her staring and explains, “It’s sturdier this way. It’ll give my wrist some extra support.” She wanders over to the mirror and stops, taking in her reflection with a sharp inhale.

“Damn,” she whispers to herself. “I’m ready to take on the world.”

“You are. You’re going to be so great out there.” Rapunzel wants to be happy for Cass, she really does. And there certainly is a part of her cheering that Cassandra is going to move forward with her life, seize the day, live her life to the fullest.

But they need to set the record straight before she can move on to feeling that way.

“Hey, um… I want to talk about something, before you leave.”

“Talk about what?” she asks distantly, still admiring her reflection, face flushed with pride.

“…Cass, are we in a relationship?”

Cass pauses. Slowly she turns to face Rapunzel, leaning back against it, uncaring of how her fabric smudges the glass. Her face is pinched.

“Wh… where is this coming from?” She folds her arms uneasily, pursing her lips before continuing, “Our friends know how things are between us. I mean, Eugene is fine with it, and I never expected him to be so on board.”

“He is, and I’m grateful for that, but… I just think that we should talk about this properly. There are some big changes coming our way, you know?”

“Look,” Cassandra sighs, reaching up to drag a hand through her hair, “I know that we may have – I don’t know, gone into things a little too fast given what happened, but… I thought we were on the same page.”

“We are , believe me! But it’s just one page of a huge book! There’s… a lot of things we need to figure out. We’ve been through a lot and then there’s still so much more to come.”

She reaches for the headdress, folding and unfolding it in her lap as she talks. It’s easier to talk to a simple piece of cloth than the woman in front of her; the woman she loves, so badly it hurts. The woman whose eyes don’t tell how she’s feeling.

Cassandra takes a step closer, and mutters, “I thought we’d already gotten through the hard parts.”

“The hardest part is yet to come, Cass. You’re leaving.” Rapunzel hugs herself. “You’re going somewhere I know that I can’t follow you, and you’ve only just come back into my life… I’ll really miss you. I miss you already.”

“I’ll miss you too, Raps. You know I will.” Cass watches her with a guarded expression. “But you know I have to do this.”

“I do. Of course I do, I – I just wonder where I’ll fit into your life, once you leave.”

“What do you mean?” Cass’s face scrunches in confusion. “Rapunzel, I’ll still think of you. I’ll still write. I’ll come back to visit in due time, I’m sure, so… I don’t understand what the problem is here.”

“Cass, you're going to go so far,” Rapunzel says, trying to tactfully voice these fears, in a way that doesn’t create more harm than good. “You'll see so many new places, meet so many interesting people! You'll meet girls. So I just... I've been thinking about how much you matter to me – how much I matter to you – and... well, are we? In a relationship?”

She can't bring herself to look at Cass when no reply comes. But she hears a sigh, and Cassandra moves to sit on the bed beside her. She reaches over and cups the back of Rapunzel's head, gently tilting it to face her. There's no frustration or anguish in her expression like Rapunzel had feared: only an exasperated fondness.

“You're jealous of all the pretty girls I'm going to leave swooning in my wake once I'm on the open road?” she asks, a teasing lilt to her voice.

“Yeah! Shouldn't I be? You're beautiful!” She shakes her head away as Cass's lips pull into a grin, and scowls. “Besides, you aren't like me when it comes to love. If you met someone who you really liked, you would – you would want to be with her instead.”

“Raps,” Cassandra interrupts, and Rapunzel can hear the eye-roll as she talks, “while I appreciate your valiant effort to love and let me go, I'm a little hurt that you think some pretty girl I might meet out on the road would undo all of my feelings for you.”

“Cass – no, I'm not saying that. At least, I don't think I am?” Rapunzel huffs in frustration. “I just want to know where we stand before you leave, so if you do meet someone and you want to be with her... I can find a way to let you go.”

“Again, Raps, I'm grateful for the sacrifice you're making,” Cass continues mildly, “but did you ever stop to think that maybe, no matter how many beautiful strangers might cross my path, it won't matter a whit because I have you and you’re more than enough for someone like me?”

Rapunzel's lips quiver, trying to formulate a response, while Cass waits patiently for her next move.

“...So we are in a relationship now?”

“I mean... I thought we already were.” Now it's Cassandra's turn to look away shyly. “But then you asked, and I didn't want to seem too sure if you weren't sure.”

“I am sure,” Rapunzel says quickly, reaching for her hands. “More sure than anything that I want to be with you, Cass. But I know that it’s a lot, asking you to share me with Eugene, so…”

“He can give you things I can’t, I know that. And that goes both ways,” Cass points out, squeezing her hands. “Besides, he’s just about the only person I trust to look out for you while I’m off chasing fate, so… If you’re okay with it, so am I.”

Rapunzel laughs, but it feels wet, almost choking her. She moves a hand up, cupping Cassandra’s cheek and leaning forward to meet for a kiss in the middle. They haven’t really… kissed before. There’s maybe been one or two quick pecks, fuelled by joy at having her back. Perhaps the occasional forehead or hand kiss, in the heat of the moment. But this is something different, and wow, it sets all her senses alight.

Cass shivers a little as they kiss, seemingly also overwhelmed by the notion of finally getting to kiss her girl. Her hands move hesitantly down to hold Rapunzel’s waist. It goes on for a little while, until they inevitably have to pull away to catch their breath; and when Rapunzel opens her eyes, she realises she can barely see through her tears.

“Woah, Raps.” Cass scrambles for a handkerchief to wipe Rapunzel’s tears.

“I’m sorry,” Rapunzel sniffles, “I just – I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Aw, Raps, don’t,” Cass says pleadingly, with a lopsided grin as she continues to clean Rapunzel’s face. “I’m happy too, but I still have to go.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Rapunzel says, and darn, her voice trembles as she says it. She shuts her eyes tight. “I keep thinking about how I almost lost you, and I’m just… so glad you’re here and you’re alive and you're not g-giving up on yourself-”

More tears spill over, but Cassandra’s hand is still.

Rapunzel isn’t dense. She knows that Cass still thinks about it all too: the devastation in her words and her tears as she fell into Rapunzel’s arms that fateful day, so weak from the loss of the moonstone and the realisation that she’d lost the war with herself. She’d been so small in that moment, so powerless, so close to giving up completely.

Rapunzel knows that Cass still grapples with that notion sometimes, even on a day like today when her spirits are soaring: that perhaps she should have stayed dead, after all was said and done, because of the destruction and despair that lay in her wake. It’s a feeling that they haven’t talked about properly, because how do they come back from that? Where does a conversation like that go? This is the only way she can express an ounce of the pain she feels, that Cass was ever small and alone and gone … and perhaps it is selfish of her, to drag this up the very day Cassandra will leave and she will stay. But if she doesn’t tell her here and now just how grateful she is for everything, she’s afraid the right moment will never come back.

“I’d give anything for you,” Rapunzel reiterates tearfully, reaching up to hold the hand cradling her cheek. “I’d go to any lengths, happily, if it means you’ll live each day like your last.”

“Rapunzel…” Cass’s voice wavers with grief. “It’s because of you that I’m here today at all. I… I never thanked you properly, for never giving up on me. But I’d give anything for you too. You know that, don’t you?”

“I do,” Rapunzel whispers. She leans forward and Cass pulls her in, cradling her in her arms as she weeps for a while. She needed to get it out of her system, she knows now; there will be plenty of other times she’ll cry over Cassandra’s absence, but to cry in celebration of her life, relief that she’s still here to greet each day, is something she has to do right here and now, just to share that emotion with the woman she loves.

Cass rocks her without another word, and when Rapunzel is finally all cried out, she’s there to clean her face. Her eyes are a little damp too, but doesn’t seem to pay mind to it. Rapunzel glances down at the headdress in her lap and reaches for it, unfurling it and holding it to her chest for a moment.

“Is that…?”

“When I found it – you had torn through it with a black rock, and I couldn’t bear to leave it. I’m glad you didn’t throw it out.”

“Well, it was folded up so nicely when I returned to my room that night,” Cass points out. “Clearly whoever did that cares for it more than I ever have, so I figured maybe it could stay. It could be your memento for when I’m gone.”

“Cass, I already see you everywhere in this castle, I don’t need a physical reminder of where we started.” Rapunzel holds it up to Cassandra’s left arm and begins to wind it round. “You, on the other hand, need a piece of me with you, wherever you go.”

Cassandra shivers again, and Rapunzel risks a glance up at her as she secures it with a knot. Her face is a little flushed. “A lady’s favour, huh?”

“Is it, now? Well, I guess that’s just as well,” Rapunzel says, grinning up at her. “Gotta send a message out to all those girls who will be falling at your feet.”

“You really do overestimate my charisma,” Cass retorts, shaking her head. She holds out her arm, admiring the new addition to her outfit. “You know, I never thought I’d say this about my goddamn headdress, but… I don’t hate it.”

Rapunzel beams and rises to her feet, leaning down slightly to press a soft kiss to Cassandra’s brow. Cass leans into the touch, exhaling.

“I’m going to go find Eugene. Give you a chance to check over your stuff one last time.” She pulls away and heads towards the door, before turning back. Cass is still sitting there, eyes glassy, watching Rapunzel’s every step. “Come find me before you leave, all right? So we can have a proper goodbye.”

“I – yeah, I will, Raps,” Cass promises. Her hand grazes the lady’s favour, as if still processing what it all means. Her face is still rosy, and Rapunzel can’t help but giggle at the spectacle of it. “You can count on it.”

[dillydedalus]

october reading

i finished my masters thesis this month (yay!) so while i still read quite a lot for escapism i was also operating on no more than 2 braincells at any time, and one of those braincells was just. continuously screaming. so any incoherence or whatever here is. because of that.

i am sovereign, nicola barker a fantastically weird & enjoyable novella about a house-viewing gone wrong that eventually blows up the novella form. i don’t want to give away the meta aspect too much, even tho it’s not entirely unpredictable, but it is so very entertaining and delightful to read. had such a fun time with this. also has a great cover. 4/5

the lifted veil, george eliot i’ve only read middlemarch by eliot, so a 75-page novella about the supernatural sure was... different. it’s fine, but nothing special imo. i enjoyed the first chapter, which sets up latimer, a soft young man with the gift of foresight/telepathy and his fascination with his brother’s fiancee, whose mind remains opaque to him (....twilight???), but the second half is pretty meh. 2/5

the notebooks of malte laurids brigge, rainer maria rilke (read the german obvi) loved the beginning of this, where morbid, too-intense, death-obsessed author-insert malte laurids brigge walks around paris, seeing everyone carry their death with them, which then makes him think of the deaths he has witnessed in his childhood. the parts about his childhood in a danish noble family were also good, but it really lost me with the overtly poetic, weird historical/religious stuff?? feel like this might have been a victim of termin master’s thesis like maybe that’s not the time for poetic, fragmentary, modernist-ish novels. 3/5

wie der soldat das grammofon repariert, saša stanišić (read in german, english translation by anthea bell) i really enjoyed stanišić‘s memoir herkunft last year so i went back to his 2006 classic, about a kid called aleksandar growing up in yugoslavia and eventually fleeing to germany as a refugee during the war. it’s very similar to herkunft in story, although the presentation is very different. honestly overall i found it a bit Too Much, too long & too stylised in its structure. but like, i can see why it’s so popular. 2.5/5

i capture the castle, dodie smith i really liked this! cassandra mortmain is a very strong narrator, the atmosphere of the dilapidated castle and the dysfunctional family are great, & i was surprised by the crushing poverty of the family in the beginning - cassandra obviously attempts to cover this up both in her own head & in her journal, but for much of the first half or so i was genuinely really worried for the kids - and this makes rose so much more sympathetic in her resolution to escape poverty. i was less convinced by the whole love quadrangle this book got going on, but on the whole this was very charming, but often very melancholy in a far deeper way than i expected. 4/5 

the death of vivek oji, akwaeke emezi my second emezi this year, altho sadly neither of them have lived up to the glory of freshwater. this one is about (gender) identity, grief, trauma, love, and solidarity/community based on otherness, which are similar thematically to freshwater, but in a novel that is, i would say, both more stylistically conventional and more hopeful/uplifting (altho it is still very depressing in parts). i enjoyed this on the whole, but it just doesn’t grab you by the throat the way freshwater does, and the reveal/central mystery just feels a bit lacking. 3/5

gott wohnt im wedding, regina scheer listen, this book is probably more competent & historically interesting than literarily great BUT it’s literally (literally) set around the corner from where i live, i know pretty much every single place & business mentioned in it & the house troubles are extremely relatable, if a lot worse than what i am currently experiencing. anyway. this novel is centered around a house in berlin-wedding & the people who live in it & it's about the holocaust & the porajmos, current discrimination against sinti&roma, the history of the wedding, gentrification, familial trauma & all that. it’s very interesting historically, slow but still very readable, and like.... i just really love the wedding! it’s kinda shitty & depressing but i love it!!! 4/5 the only good indians, stephen graham jones note: the elk in this book is not what you, a european, think of as an elk. that’s a moose. anyway, this is a horror novel about four native american men who hunt for elk when, where and how they shouldn’t have and ten years later find themselves pursued by a vengeful elk spirit. i enjoyed this! the scenes where shit goes down were certainly very horrible & gruesome & very sad as well. 3.5/5

solutions & other problems, allie brosh this book really is out there & exists. anyway hyperbole & a half was like, one of my formative internet things and i still love it a lot. this book is second only to the winds of winter in eternally getting pushed back and back and back, so this even getting published was def a pleasant surprise. it’s still really funny, and the weird ugly drawings are still amazingly effective, but this one is. very sad. some really bad shit happened to brosh inbetween and it’s kinda a downer (i mean the first one had the depression saga but this one... is darker). 3.5/5

a supposedly fun thing i’ll never do again, david foster wallace .....i might have to stan dfw, just a little bit. like, i read infinite jest when i was way too young to appreciate it (still traumatised by the uh. creative use of brooms tho) & i have NO intentions of ever rereading it BUT this essay collection was so good that i may just have to read a lot of his other stuff. particular highlights are the title essay, about a cruise journey, and an essay about the illinois state fair, two things that feel particularly fascinating and offputting in equal measure in this year of plague, where even the idea of being in enclosed spaces with many people freaks you out. but i also really appreciated his essays on david lynch & television & fiction, even if i don’t agree with all of his takes. he just has such a good voice! funny, smart, precisely observed but always with a strange spin. 4/5, minus points for too much tennis, but oh well

gruppenbild mit dame, heinrich böll (group portrait with lady) marcel reich-ranicki criticised this book for being, essentially, a sloppy mess and that’s kind of accurate - it’s definitely too long & a bit draggy & böll (and the narrator/“author”) go on tangents and into details with indulgence & abandon, but it’s also... kind of brilliant? the way the “author” collects material and testimony on leni (the lady), her family, coming-of-age and the love affair with a soviet forced labourer that made her an outcast, constructing a documented history of her while leni herself remains ever elusive, the focus on structure, architecture, construction, the endless loops of self-justification (pelzer’s insistance that he is not inhuman, the real estate tycoon’s insistence that they just want what’s best for leni & that her resistance to profit-logic is abnormal)... there’s so much in here, and a lot of it doesn’t need to be there, but a lot of it does. 3.5/5 

sweet fruit, sour land, rebecca ley very lyrical, quiet, feminist climate dystopia. it’s good, well-written, very evocative of hunger and loss, a dystopia but really more about grief and identity, and i read it during the last few days of my master’s thesis and thus have absolutely nothing to say about it. 3.5/5

i also & this will be a shock, dnf’d burning down the haus: punk rock, revolution & the fall of the berlin wall, a book about the east-berlin/german punk subculture. it just felt like a longform essay artificially extended into a 400-page book & the writing was pretty basic in a music bro tries to be deep and like, subversive and shit kinda way. 

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.

[sorreltail]

ill delete this soon

bad cop hogwarts au

@pouncival

points to cover: houses, prefect stuff, meetings, classes, Naughty Stuff, other cats, pets, life after hogwarts, quidditch >:((, HYDRATION, teachers, uhhhhh and anything else i can think of

HOUSES: rumples a gryffindor. the sorting hat took about three seconds. alonzos a hufflepuff even tho his family have always been ravenclaws and he desperately wanted to be a gryffindor, he cried after the sorting ceremony also: jenny is huffpuff head, skimble is p much hagrid, jelly is raven, gus is gryffdor and grizabella is slytherin,,, headmaster deuteronomy lmao

PREFECT STUFF: alonzos a prefect. Obviously, i mean come on. he takes it so seriously,,, hes already dating rumple when he becomes one and she delights in the fact that he can sometimes b persuaded to let her go with a warning bc yo thats what u get for fucking a prefect,,, once she wanted to get in ravenclaw tower and she didnt know the answer to the riddle so she was like "LONZYYY I HAVE A RIDDLE THAT I NEED TO FIND THE ANSWER TO FOR HOMEWORRKKKKK" and hes a library fiend so he spent like an hour looking it up and then he told her and she was like "ok thanks im going off 2 ravenclaw tower now" and he was so distraught he took ten points from hufflepuff for helping her. the other prefects Donut Understand their relationship ghdkhgd bc mungo and rumple r worse than fred and george but eventually it gets to the point where they catch her doin some rulebreaking and shes like... do u seriously feel like dealing with me so they just go get alonzo. she gets drunk on firewhisky one time and he takes her back up to gryffindor tower and spends ten minutes trying to get the fat lady to let her in but the fat lady is annoyed and refusing and it goes like "rumple tell her the password" "nooOooOoOooOo" "do you know the password" ">:3c" "rumple teLL HER THE PASSWORD" for another half hour and eventually gives up and decides to wait for the next gryffindors to come along and let her in but the next one to come along is mungo and then its twice as bad when alonzo becomes head boy (munk is the year above them) he cries, and rumple opens her letter like I GOT HEAD GIRL??!!!!????? and hes like. What. and shes like hehehehehe just kidding who the fuck do u think i am,, also. prefects bathroom. he ends up letting her find out the password and then shes constantly in there and then Somehow (i wonder how) mungo finds out and then they have to change it before the whole school knows,,, oh my god the other prefects tease him so much and at first hes like eh..heh...yeah but after a while hes like fuck off please, stop shittalking my girlfriend to me, and he gets a wee bit defensive about it so they give up especially in their final year when hes head boyyyy

QUIDDITCH: OKAY so alonzo wanted to play quidditch as a seeker bc ofc he did right?? i mean theres so many rules. such nice uniforms. but he never made the tryouts bc he wasnt willing to take the risks needed to get the golden thingy (also, vitiligo, hes got autoimmune shit and he has 2 b careful w his health),,, rumple however. rumples grown up loving the harpies and desperately wanting to be a beater. then she meets mungo and the two of them are fucking terrifying beaters, they are So Good, its honestly the only reason why gryffindor hasnt lost the house cup every fucking year, them helping win p much every game kind of balances out all the points they lose for being shits lmao,,, we had a thought that she gets hurt sometime in a game, and alonzo is. so terribly smothering he brings in all his books to study by her bed in the hospital wing and takes notes for her and is way too cautious after that and begs her to stop playing and she just. Looks at him. :| anyway she does eventually become quidditch captain nyehehe and so shes captain, hes head boy, they are a glorious power couple,,, the nerds love alonzo, the delinquents and sportheads love rumple, together they are So Respected,, it also means she gets actual access to the prefects bathroom which changes very little except for how sneaky she has to be to get in

MEETINGS: okay so in true hogwarts au fashion they first meet on the train as first years,,, rumple: hi can i sit here (she says as shes sat down) are u muggleborn im a halfblood alonzo: im from an old wzarding family my name is draco malfuck you rumple: wow u sound like an asshole. what house r u gonna be in. im gryffindor alonzo: me too rumple: u dont seem like one alonzo: you do :// rude fuck. this is my owl her name is aegolius im pretentious rumple: cool name. this is my cat her name is gwynog GO HARPIES alonzo: ive never had physical contact with a living thing in my life can i pet her rumple: sure alonzo: soft anyway after they get sorted they never talk again. End Of Au. jks but forreal they dont talk for years until they get their electives and theyre partnered in care of magical creatures and finally talk again and it goes like rumple: hey youre that kid who cried at the sorting ceremony alonzo: rumple: sup somehow the whole Falling In Love part is the one bit we havent really talked about but it happens and its cute

id also like to add that alonzos parents are an old italian wizarding family but they pride themselves on being chic, modern wizards who incorporate certain muggle things, mostly fashion, his mums a fashion designer, so all his clothes are beautiful and tailored and more Modern than most,, ANYWAY they also Want The Best for him and when he tells them who hes dating (A HALFBLOOD RAISED AMONG MUGGLES??? A GIRL BEATER???? LOOK AT HER SCHOOL RECORDS DARLING SHES A DELINQUENT!!!!!!) and they refuse to let him stay at her house or let her come over,,, until he writes home one day like. shes captain of the quidditch team what more do u want shes going to do it professionally) and theyre Sporty Folks who are So Fucking Into Quidditch and by this point theyve realised that she's not turning him into a Bad Kid so they finally accept her

CLASSES: ive forgotten like all of their classes kmn anyway alonzo wants to be an auror. thats all he wants. thats his ambition. so he studies his ass off from day one and gets perfect grades and is a model student. rumple is. perhaps not. just think fred and george thats her and mungo, shes a terror but somehow she still manages to pass everything through an annoying natural talent. alonzos kind of hellbent on making her get good grades and they spend much of their time in the library, hes in there Every Day, he pretty much has a reserved table, rumple sits around practicing jinxes on any unfortunate passerbys and trying to pester him and/or make him kiss her he loves presentations, hes so good at them, he prepares for weeks and then the entire time rumples in the back of class making Naughty Gestures. he chokes on his water when she does presentations theyre short but shes really charismatic so he just kind of sits there staring at her like an idiot because gosh she has a nice voice rumples a pro at brooms obviously, alonzos Hella Nervous on them, he has the best and safest model, she offers to give him private lessons but really its just an opportunity for dick jokes what can u do. he gets her a really good really SAFE and fast broom for christmas one year bc what else does a rich boy get his girlfriend who kicks ass at quidditch which brings me to

NAUGHTY STUFF: kittens look away! look for like. a full three months hes like Im Not Having Sex At School Its Against the rRULES!!!!!! and rumples like. well then we either abstain until we graduate or we can do it at your parents place and. No. The Horror. he changes his mind very quickly. they happen to stumble across the room of requirement a few times when.uh. the need is great. u know how it goes. im also gonna go out on a limb and admit that alonzo is rather fond of the Luxury Baths in the prefects bathroom and rumple is very good at catching him when hes in there and enchanting the door or some shit so nobody disturbs them :-)) this is from one of those hogwarts au headcanon posts but i love it, he gives a presentation on sex ed and shit (lets pretend hogwarts is better than it is) and rumple sits in the back asking the worst questions and inside he wants to scream u KNOW what that is we did it last nIGHT

other cats: yes ok here we go. in their year is misto, victoria, admetus, mungo, coricopat, tantomile and im sure im missing people here, year above them  is munk, tugger, deme, bomba, cassandra, macavity (???!!!???) and everyone else is younger by a year or two, also worth mentioning is etcetera being rumples younger sister and theyre adorable and lovely etcetera for president of the world munk and cass or deme are probably head boy and girl of their year,  cass is dating tantomile, bombas dating demeter, alonzo has the biggest crush on munk as well (optional polyamory for u fucks) (worth saying that the reason rumple went to sneak into ravenclaw tower was to see victoria btw),,, alonzo and victoria are head boy and girl of their year, and probably jemima andddddddd idk maybe g eorge fuck me man idk admetus is another prefect, so's tantomile tbh,,, id say victoria but she wants to focus on her studies

PETS: alonzo has this beautiful eagle owl, scariest of all owls, her name is aegoleius (pronounced ay-JEE-lee-us) it means bird of prey and he adores her. shes beautifully trained. rumple has a kitty that im personally in love with who is basically rumpleteazer as a cat lol shes a calico but her name is gwenog after the famous beater of the harpies <33333 eventually they'll get another cat thatll be a suspiciously familiar black and white patched triangle shorthair named Faolan (sorta like FWAY-larn) even tho it means little wolf because he thought it sounded cool and he read it in a book and thought it was pronouned faow-lahn, honestly they probably end up getting a whole ton of cats

LIFE AFTER HOGWARTS: WOO im excited for this bit. okay. so. alonzo wants to be an auror. hes spent his whole life training for this. he immediately applies after graduation and gets in and starts his rigorous three year training process. in the meantime rumples gone into professional quidditch, and shes really really good at it but shes like.... this isnt fun anymore. bc its not just a school game anymore, its a professional sport, and what do u mean u cant jinx the opponents!!!! so for a while she just helps him train "ok so if you walk like THIS and use this charm your footsteps will be totally silent blah blah boh my god i should be an auror" and hes like. You. want to be an auror. and shes like. Yup. and its a damn good thing he was so obsessive about her getting good marks bc her newts are good enough that she can apply. they do a criminal record check, but mind u that altho rumples done naughty stuff, shes never actually. Been Caught doing anything particularly bad. so her record is somehoW CLEAN and she gets in. its a miracle. "what did you do. who did you blackmail" "i sucked every single aurors dick lonzy" "HOW DID YOU GET IN" "EVERY! SINGLE! DICK!" but hes also really really prouD AND THAT MEANS THEY CAN HELP EACH OTHER TRAIN!!!!! cue training montage. rumple pulls a tonks and coasts thru a lot of it rlly easily and almost fails some but they both eventually graduate and become aurors and work together and she covers her trenchcoat in patches and he keeps asking if he has to wear his because sweet jesus it is ugly ITS BROWN, and at this point his parents r more than content with rumple lmao, anyway they live together in a lovely little house that is kept in perfect order, rumple enchants EVERYTHING to talk, its cute, fucking domestic shit yes please

HYDRATION LOL look this isnt even important but alonzo is so deeply into that health shit. he only eats dark chocolate, and most importantly he fucking loves spending time in the kitchen with jenny. she cooks, he makes custom face masks, and also infused water. so much infused water. he has different """recipes""" and he always has a bottle of lovely chilled water with fucking apple and ginger and lemongrass shit in it that he made the night before, and since rumple fucking hates drinking anything thats not tropical sunshine punch fruit juice he constantly is trying to figure out a recipe of infused water that she'll drink becUSE ITS NOT HEALTHY RUMPLE!!!!!!!! YOU NEED WATER, but she thinks its disgusting and eventually he gives up and carries a bottle of juice with him in case he sees her because its better than nothing,

yeah ok im,,,,, i assume there will be more to come but for now this is what u get