#this guy existed and it's true he was 39 and he showed up drunk and all the things he did in this fic HE DID ON THE DATE WITH HER

[oretsov]

text me when you’re free ; part 1 (ao3) 

Alina and Zoya go on a blind double date. Unfortunately, chaos ensues.

[ as told through texts ]

Monday, august 1. 14:23

A: Zoya :)

Z: what

A: what would you say if i came to you with the proposition of a lifetime

Z: I would say blink twice if you’re in a pyramid scheme

A: That hurts

A: That you think i could be roped into one

Z: anything is possible

A: :(

Z: .

Z: I would consider buying tainted mlm vitamins from you

A: :D

A: mlm vitamins. the vitamins are in love

Z: As they should be

A: In love with keeping me healthy

Z: …..You arent actually in a pyramid scheme right

A: asjdkf; no but i do have a proposition

Z: and this concerns me because

A: Because it’s a good proposition

Z: Sound reasoning. continue

A: Yes so you know how i went on that date sunday with blondie

Z: I do recall the swipe for blondie. How was it

A: It was good!! Pretty solid, he’s super nice. We just got brunchy drinks but nothing crazy it was like 2 pm

Z: That’s never stopped you before and we both know it

A: Well the man was not shoving bloody mary’s down my throat now was he

Z: YOU ordered your fourth on your OWN volition

A: I did no such thing

Z: And YOU were the one who invited our server on a booze cruise

A: I do not recall

A: I suddenly cannot read

Z: Smh

A: Also we are actually friends with tamar now so that was a W

Z: W

A: W

Z: W

A: W

A: asdfj; STOP DISTRACTING ME. let me continue. We got drinks

Z: You got drinks

A: And a topic of our app conversation was brought up, re: the picture I have of us two together

Z: A good picture

A: The best

A: Well the caption is ‘she’s single too’ and he uhhhhhh suggested a double date

Z: Pffffft

A: That’s what i said at first but then realized a. I did have that pic/caption so I should have expected this and 2. I know you think he’s cute and c. he has been one date vetted and is not a weirdo

Z: Who would he bring

Z: Wait i thought you liked him though

A: He’s on like a local club volleyball team, and said one of those guys. I think his name is Aleksander? But nikolai said he was nice too and they play together basically every other day

A: And ugghh i dont know maybe. Maybe more of a friendship vibe

Z: no cheeky little kisses for nikolai?

A: it’s early days

Z: i’ll drink to that

Z: also are you coming over later for love island

A: is the sun hot

Z: word

A: but would you be interested? Blind double date?

Z: I suppose

A: i see you faking nonchalance and i acknowledge that you are instead of calling you out on it

Z: how considerate of you

Z: what day are you thinking. Friday and saturday will probably be out for us

A: yeah i figured. Thursday after work?

Z: can’t. I have a happy hour with the newbies

A: be nice to them

Z: no

A: lol

A: I mean. Tomorrow? Is drinks on wednesday night too outrageous?

Z: eh maybe a little but who cares

A: it’s no thirsty thursday that’s for sure

Z: wet wednesday

A: i meaannnn here’s hoping?

Z: keep it in your pants

A: only if you keep it in yours!!!!!

Z: i want to say no promises but. Blonde

A: i feel like you’re lying to yourself you said he was hot

Z: for a blonde

A: -_-

A: i hope you fall in love . i’ll spend my speech laughing into the mic for ten whole minutes

Z: barf

A: :))

Tuesday, august 1. 15:08

A: Hey! Thanks again for Sunday, I talked to my friend and she is interested!

Nikolai - bumble: Awesome, sounds good! Aleks is really looking forward to it as well

A: Glad to hear! Does 6:30 work for you guys?

Nikolai - bumble: Yep that should be good

Nikolai - bumble: Have you guys ever been to little palace? I think it’s between our places of work, they have a pretty good happy hour but they’re still a pretty nice establishment

A: Yes we love it there!! Let’s meet there

Nikolai - bumble: Sounds good, see you guys then!

Wednesday, august 2. 19.58

A: ZOYA

Z: ALINA WHERE TF ARE YOU COME BACK IDK WHICH FORK TO KILL MYSELF WITH

A: HE FOLLOWED ME INTO THE BATHROOOMAF A

Z: HE WHAT

A: HE FOLLOWED ME. AND WALKED INTOT HE EMENS ROOM AND WAS LIKE LETS’ GO AND I WAS LIKE. WHOMST IN THEE FAFUCK

Z: WHERE IN THE FRESHEST HELL DID THIS GUY SOCME FROM

A: NO I’M NOT DONE AND I SAID NO I HAVE TO PEE AND HE

A: WALKED INTO THE LADIES ROOM

A: AND INTO A STALL. AND SAID OKAY

A: AND I WAS

Z: AHAHAHHAHAA WHAT THE FUCK

A: I WAS LIKE I’M NOT GOING TO FUCK YOU IN THIS BATHROOM STALL OF THIS FUCKING FAMILY RESTUARANT YOU ABOSOLUTE HEATHEN AND I LITERALLY HAD TO PUSH HIM OUT OF THE BATHROOM

Z: BROOOO WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

A: I HATE IT HERE

Z: wait but he’s not back at the table

Z: come back. Pls

A: i’m peeing talk to nikolai

Z: he went to the bar

A: why go to the bar when we have our waitress WHICH BY THE WAY ALSO WHAT THE FUCK

Z: WHO HITS ON THE WAITRESS WHEN UR ON A DATE

A: IN FRONT OF ME AND ME CHIPPIES

A: AJSD;F THIS FUCING GUY APPARENTLY

Z: omg alina i found him

A: oh no don’t tell me

Z: HE’S AT THE WAITRESS STAND TALKING TO LIKE THREE OF THEM AHAHHHAHAHAAHA

Z: LITERALLY I AM SHOCKED AND SPEECHLESS AT THIS MAN LIKE???????WHAT?????

A: NAURRRRRRRRRRR

A: WHO THEE FUCK DOS NIKO PLAY VOLLEYBALL WITH LIKE WHAT IS THIS

Z: I GUESS ANYONE CAN JUST SIGN UP TO PLAY LOCAL VOLLEYBALL THESE DAYS UNREGULATED AJSD;F

Z: oh christ he’s coming back i honestly cannot spend five minutes alone with this grandpa

A: AJDK;F A GRANDPA IT’S TRUE

A: SURE GRANDPA LETS GET YOU TO BED

Z: OK HE’S WALKING I’M RUNNING TO THE BAR DO YOU WANT ANYTHING

A: MARG PLS

Z: LET IT BE KNOWN THIS IS THE FOURTH AND YOU ARE ORDERING WITH LITTLE TO NO FORCE FROM ME

A: IT IS KNOWN

Z: NORMAL OR SPECIALTY

A: WHAT AM I A HEATHEN!!!!!!!! THE SPECIALTY

Z: OKAY

Z: POOP FASTER COME BACK SOON PLS

A: BE THERE ASAP

Wednesday, august 2. 20.17

HINGE CONVERSATION BETWEEN ALINA AND MAL

*Alina invited Mal to start the chat*

Mal: hey

Alina: do you like nuts

Mal: sure they’re alright

Alina: what kind

Mal: I like cashews

Alina: what about your dick nuts

Mal: um

Alina: those are my favorite

Mal: oh

Alina: sorry im a LADYY. Obviousliyf im not going to begin this conversation with sexting right

Alina: asdjf; WRONG so abot those nuts malyen

Mal: are you okay

Alina: i want to gobble them up like a thanksgiving gravy

Alina: that makes no fukcinga sense because i wont gobbel gravy itts turkey you idiot

Alina: i’m not gobbling anything. Keep your hands to yurself MAL

Alina: if that’s even your nAME

Mal: It is?

Alina: do you swallow

Mal: uh

Alina: what that tongue do

Mal: it does fine

Alina: i’M NOT LOOKIGN FOR JSUT FINE

Alina: MAL I KNOW YOUR’E BETTER THAN THAT

Mal: uhhh I’m sorry I don’t really know what you want me to say here

Alina: i’m saying that i awnt you to lick that pus*sy with the ferocity of a starving man

Mal: not sure the asterisk really helps

Alina: AR E YE STARVING OR NOT

Mal: if i’m being honest i’m mostly just confused

Alina: MALLL MAL mal mal mal. Read the signs im hard up we both like cachews and it does fine enoughojd;a

Mal: uhh

Wednesday august 2. 21.24

GROUP CHAT: the slutty nunnery

A: genyaaaaaa

G: hey ladies

A: no more ladies. Just me

G: oh?

Z: dont listen ot her

A: ZOYA YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

Z: AHDFHAHHAHAH

A: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME

G: are you guys still on the date??

Z: the boys left but we are putting something in our stomachs that is not alcohol

A: chippies

A: NO CHIPPIES FOR YOU ZOYA GENYA DO YOAU KNOW WHAT THIS BITCH DID TO ME

G: oh boy

A: HER AND NIKOLAI

A: WHO FIRST OF AL WAS ALL OH NAURRR I’M NOT GOANN LIKE HIM HE’S BOLONDE IM ZOYA I HAVE TO HAVE THE BEST HAIR AND NIKOLAID’S HAIR THREATENS IMINE

Z: i dont sound like this

G: eh

A: they take my TELEPHONE while aleksander tries to swoon me

A: AND THEY GO ON MY HINGE

Z: honestly i stand by this aleks was a shit date for you

A: ADN THEY START SWIPING AND THEY CONVERSE WITH ONE (1) MAL

G: ... does that name sound familiar

A: YES IT ADOES BECAUSE HE’ S UMY FUCKING WORK CRUSH GENYA AND HE’S AOS CUTE AND I WAS GOING TO ONE DAY ASK HIM OUT PROBABYLY NOT BUT NOW I NEVER CAN

Z: pffttt sure you can we just sped along the process if anything

A: NO I CANT BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM I LIKED HIS DICK NUTS

G: ahahhahah

A: NO GENYA DON’T LAUGH HTIS IS NOT LAUGHING

G: i’m sorry i take it back

A: i thought i was having a love island girl summer and that WAS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT HAPPENED OTNIGHT

G: what about nikolai?

A: PFTTTT YEAH ZOYA WHAT ABOUT NIKOLAI

Z: he’s fine

A: he is not just fine they were canoodling and he had his ARM around her WAIST and they kept PUSHING AND SHOVING EACH OTHER OVER MY PHONE

Z: he kept texting dumb shit at least i had some class

A: the first thing you asked him was if he liked nuts

Z: you like to snack alina it’s good to have common interests

G: she has a point

A: DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT ZOYA

Z: I’LL DO WHAT I WANT

A: they were fools genya. Fools

G: ooohhhh nothing i love to see more

Z: he was the only viable option

G: wasn’t it literally a double date

A: barely grandpa was straight up not doing okay

G: ...GRANDPA

Z: genya this man was 39 years old and literally showed up piss drunk

A: at 6:30 on a wednesday

Z: yeah and when we ordered drinks he ordered two at the same time and alina and i were like oh haha okay

Z: but then he hadn’t finished those and then ordered TWO MORE

G: girl what…...

A: he was a literal mess i’m still speechless that a man SHY OF FORTY can act this way asj;df

G: ewww what omg stay away from us get a job what??? Is this allowed???

A: on a date with THREE PEOPLE IN THEIR TWENTIES NO LESS

Z: tbf he didn’t ~look~ old but yeah he literally acted like a sixteen year old which is somehow worse

A: HE KEPT FLIRTING WITH ETHE WAITERS

G: LMAO WHAT

A: yeah he literally had his arm around me and was flirting with our waitress and did that multiple times

Z: it was honestly wild to see

G: ew i do not miss being single

A: BOOO

Z: HISS

G: hehe sorry

G: are you guys stil there? Are you okay to get home do you need me to get you?

A: our chippies just came but i think we’ll be okay thanks babes

A: unless you want to come eat with us wait until you hear about what this mans did in the bathroom

G: ….

G: terrifying sentence. I’m on my way

[powermetalhag]

Digging Deeper

 @alienfuckeronmain​ tagged me in this massive tag meme (Thank you!! I love doing these things). If I tag you, feel free to ignore this if you don’t feel up to doing it/reading it. If you aren’t tagged and want to be, feel free to just say I tagged you ❤

I tag: @flowerkitten @meemimajima @darlingdear @wizards1977 @violet-tea @lickthatbattery @lusamine @misfit-on-a-journey @lampshroomomg @cyrsed @wooden-duck @wildbayou @curse-you @ghostly-rowlf​ @icedchailatte​ @oni-lover​

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? City

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? I’d love to be able to sing and metal-scream really well. I’m trying to learn but I practice pretty inconsistently and it’s an uphill battle bc I don’t have much natural aptitude for it. Also it would be really cool to be a contortionist. 

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I don’t drink coffee. Sometimes I sweeten tea, sometimes I don’t.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? I didn’t like reading books much as a child. When it came to reading novels, my reading comprehension was pretty below average (I think I posted about this ages ago, but when I tried to read Harry potter when I was 7 I couldn’t follow it at all. I somehow thought that Harry and Hagrid were the same character and that Hagrid was just the name for Harry’s Wizard self. My concentration just wasn’t there). I read a lot of manga though. I think my favourites were fushigi yuugi, saint tail, and miracle girls.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hobbit

8. Paper or electronic books? I prefer paper books, but I mostly use electronic ones.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my cloud-print long sleeved mesh shirt

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I used to want to change it, I don’t anymore. 

11. Who is a mentor to you? I don’t think I have one

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I like the idea of creative projects of mine becoming a little bit known, but I’d never want to be famous.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Not really

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I’m probably less romantic than the average person, but in the right situation I can be.

15. Which element best represents you? I associate myself with fire (bc I'm a leo) but in some ways water or air might better represent me. Idk.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? Honestly? Pretty much all of my friends. My life is complicated and the severity of my ocd makes me keep everyone at a distance more than I’d like to.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? Everyone who I haven’t seen since quarantine started.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. As young kids my sister and I hated Tracey Sketchit from pokemon so passionately that we would draw his face on the bottom of our feet before going to jump on the trampoline so that we could feel like we were jumping on him

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? When we were little my sister and I would sometimes eat raw dried spaghetti dipped in vegemite when there was no other easy snacks in the house. We called them cardboard sticks. (The food situation in my house wasn’t dire or anything, we were just too lazy to make a sandwich or something lol)

20. What are you most thankful for? I am thankful for the people I have in my life and for the amount of stability i’ve been able to have in my life in recent times.

21. Do you like spicy food? I do, but if I eat it often enough to increase my tolerance to it I get bad reflux. So I remain a spice wimp who can only have mild.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Zakk Wylde, Chris Lilley, and some guy who was on Blue Heelers. Also I spoke to Tracy Grimshaw on the phone once. Meeting Zakk Wylde was funny because I was REALLY weird and embarrassing.

(Long story ahead, feel free to skip) Basically, my friend and I were 16 and wandering through the city high on acid. We saw Zakk standing near Hungry Jacks and became completely captivated by him. We had no idea he was some big famous rockstar, we thought he was just some random guy. I cannot convey to you how intense his presence felt at that time. It was like he was everything that is and ever will be metal but congealed into a human being and magnified by 2000x. (in case you don’t know him, he looks like this)

We were so high that we were very in our own world and felt like we were the only ones who really existed and that everything else was just kinda there for us to observe. So we started following him and discussing him as if he couldn’t hear every word we were saying. 

I remember us being like “He’s the most metal thing i’ve seen in my life” “He’s like Neptune, king of the sea, but a brutal version” “He’s the raw original concept that all other metalheads were disseminated from. He’s the true, the original.” It made sense at the time that he could be the origin point of metal and the first ever metalhead because time and space felt like it existed in a looser way than usual. We were really fixated on the idea that metal was invented through his very existence as a direct expression of self, then people copied him, then people copied those people and so on. The further they got from the source (Zakk) the more diluted the essence became. That’s why being around normal metalheads wasn’t as viscerally overwhelming as being in the presence of the raw undiluted concept. We concluded that no metalheads were actually expressing themselves through their subcultural identity. Unknowingly, they’re just expressing him. And we were saying all of this while walking maybe a metre and a half behind him while he ignored us.

Eventually some of the people he was with noticed we were following him and started talking to us (they may have been members of Black label society or they may have just been friends of his, idk). They were friendly and said that they used to do acid when they were younger too and invited us to get drunk with them. We said yes and walked with them for a little. I don’t think Zakk said a word to us the entire time. He probably found us annoying. But we kept staring at Zakk and getting overwhelmed by how intense it was just to be in his presence. Then me and my friend abruptly turned and left without saying anything because being around Zakk was getting to be too much. It was like a sensory overload. As we walked away we barely heard them yelling back to us “something something something ZAKK WYLDE!”. I was familiar with the name but I’d never known how he looked. I googled him a few days later and learned that it was indeed Zakk Wylde who we met and that he’d been in Brisbane with black label society.

And that’s the story of how I passed up the once in a lifetime opportunity to get drunk with Zakk Wylde because his vibes were off the charts.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? No. Kinda wish I could, but the habit doesn’t stick.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?  Pencil

25. What is your star sign? Leo sun (Virgo cusp), Scorpio moon, Sagittarius rising.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Crunchy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I’d like to have a positive effect on the people in my life and leave art behind that people might enjoy or relate to (I use the word art loosely, I mean any kind of creative project). I think I've become more aware recently of how important that is to me, which is why I've been so uncharacteristically dedicated to finishing my comic.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I like reading books but I don’t always have the attention span for it. I tend to read more non-fiction than fiction. The last book I read was Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, and Emo. A really great book if you want to learn about emo history. The only downside is that it was published in 2003, before emo really took off in the mainstream. Had some insightful things to say regardless.

29. How do you show someone you love them? Idk I can’t think of a concise answer for this. I think it varies depending on who it is and what our dynamic is. When I took that love language test it said my love language was quality time.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? I don’t like it in water. It’s fine in most other drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t think I can answer this without oversharing or getting too bleak

32. What is your favourite scent? I like tropical scents like mango and coconut

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? By their name

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d buy a house with my sister and I wouldn’t have a job but I'd volunteer and do freelance creative work. I’d donate a lot more and help people out more. I’d learn lots of new skills and make lots of art. I would have an amazing wardrobe too.

A kinda sillier dream is that I'd start a cheerleading team where our routines are exclusively to metal songs. As well as entering competitions, we would also be an opening act for bands (in this dream i’m much better at cheerleading than I currently am). It would be cool ok

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean.? Ocean. I miss going to the beach so much

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? See if someone dropped it. Then idk, would depend on my financial situation at the time.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yes

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I’m not going to have children. I’d like to be a good influence in my friend’s children’s lives though.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Probably some old-school gradient style neopets art (maybe an aisha) or 90s tamagotchi art or a cool wizard. I’d get it on my thigh. I’m very unlikely to ever get a tattoo though

40. What can you hear now? The hum of my computer. It’s old and loud and on its way out

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my bed at home with my cat Luna or hanging out w my sister

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Once coronavirus is less of an issue (which may be in the near future where I live), I’d like to try and push myself to start dating again. I haven’t done that in a long while. The limitations that ocd causes me makes it hard for me to imagine a relationship-- even a casual one--being workable. But I ought to at least try before I decide that. Sometimes things turn out to be easier than I think they’ll be 🤷‍♀️.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? This is so hard!!

If this is purely for enjoyment and not to change the past, i’d probably just want to see all my favourite bands live while they were in their prime and like, cry the whole way through because I am so moved.

44. What is your most used emoji? :) or :/ 

45. Describe yourself using one word. I’m really bad at questions like this

46. What do you regret the most? Eh, that’s a bit personal. I feel like i’ve overshared enough in this thing.

47. Last movie you saw? Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days

48. Last tv show you watched? Degrassi the next generation

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. Idk

If you’ve read this far ty!! Here’s a little sheep for your trouble

[xbreezymeadowsx]

200 Questions

No one asked me to do it but I made @sharpiewashere do it so it’s only fair I suffer through, too.

200: My crush’s name is: Zach because husband but also... Tommy motherfuckin’ Flanagan

199: I was born in: New Hampshire

198: I am really: horny and annoyed

197: My cellphone company is: Verizon

196: My eye color is: Brown

195: My shoe size is: like 10.5W I think.

194: My ring size is: I think it’s a 9.

193: My height is: 5’ 3”

192: I am allergic to: cats and crop dust

191: My 1st car was: old ass shitty Jeep Grand Cherokee

190: My 1st job was: at a stand in a city mall where we had an inflatable slide and two bounces houses and served sno cones, smoothies, and novelty ice creams

189: Last book you read: Fangs by Sarah Andersen

188: My bed is: fuckin’ broken and uncomfortable and clearly not big enough for myself and my bedhog husband.

187: My pet: 1 old black cat.

186: My best friend: Yuki (that bitch is my best best best friend and I miss her to pieces)

185: My favorite shampoo is: Garnier Whole Blends: Honey Treasures

184: Xbox or ps3: Fuck both. Switch.

183: Piggy banks are: cute

182: In my pockets: nada at the moment

181: On my calendar: is scribbles from my kid

180: Marriage is: Don’t marry a redneck!

179: Spongebob can: stop. Give me the early Bob but that’s it.

178: My mom: loves Unicorns

177: The last three songs I bought were? Wap metal version, Room with a Zoo, Shoop

176: Last YouTube video watched: GabSmolders playing Control

175: How many cousins do you have? technically only 2 by blood and actual familial connections. 6 if you count some others. 9 if you count step-cousins.

174: Do you have any siblings? 1 big Seester!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yeah

172: Are you taller than your mom? Maybe? IDK, we’re both shorties

171: Do you play an instrument? sadly, no.

170: What did you do yesterday? Slept and worked

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: HA, you’re funny.

165: Aliens: no

164: Heaven: these are...

163: Hell: ... kinda loaded...

162: God: ... questions

161: Horoscopes: maybe

160: Soul mates: yes

159: Ghosts: yes

158: Gay Marriage: yes

157: War: yes

156: Orbs: yes

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: unfortunately neither.

152: Phone or Online: online

151: Red heads or Black haired: black

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette

149: Hot or cold: cold

148: Summer or winter: winter

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: night

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s outta these choices but I’d take Steak’N’Shake over either.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk and Dark.

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Zach can be sweet (he certainly isn’t ugly to look at) and we’re definitely on the poor side.

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi (anybody remember Pepsi Twist? That was the best!)

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: Buried I guess. Though, if I’m cremated, my ashes need to be spread in one place and no separating them.

134: Singing or Dancing: singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I am a redneck, these things don’t mean anything to me.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?

131: Small town or Big city: small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Either? I shop Wal-Mart all the time out of convenience but I do like Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I am overall not a fan of either barring a select couple movies (like Heavyweights and Little Nicky)

128: Manicure or Pedicure: no thanks.

127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

124: Disney or Six Flags: Can I go to a Zoo instead?

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I’ll say Sox because New England but I don’t particularly care for baseball.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: there’s a time and place

121: George Bush: he’s an idiot?

120: Gay Marriage: yay!

119: The presidential election: tearing families apart because people are stupid and vote for Trump

118: Abortion: this is a bit of a grey area for me. While I firmly believe in “my body, my choice”, I do not accept that argument if you are constantly getting them as if it is a form of birth control. Use proper contraceptives you slut.

117: MySpace: does that even exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: certain ones can assume me.

115: Parents: love them even when you don’t like them.

114: Back stabbers: pussies.

113: Ebay: never used it

112: Facebook: is reserved for pictures of kids, pets, funny videos and memes, and gifs.

111: Work: shitty... literally

110: My Neighbors: I’m just glad they aren’t the cousin-fuckers or the Methicans anymore.

109: Gas Prices: it takes like 20 bucks to fill my tiny car gas tank so whatever.

108: Designer Clothes: never fit me

107: College: didn’t go.

106: Sports: HA. My fat ass play sports? Maybe Badminton or Tetherball but that’s it.

105: My family: lives too far away.

104: The future: needs to be better than now.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: like 20 mins ago when my kid was trying to suck up to me to get a sip of my frappe.

102: Last time you ate: two hours ago.

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Zane’s first day of school this year. Miss Angie came over to see him off in the morning.

100: Cried in front of someone: probably a few weeks ago.

99: Went to a movie theater: Twilight Breaking Dawn pt 2.

98: Took a vacation: three years ago.

97: Swam in a pool: probably close to 8 or more years ago.

96: Changed a diaper: 4-5 yrs ago.

95: Got my nails done: professionally? never. By Zane? last weekend.

94: Went to a wedding: three years ago.

93: Broke a bone: never. dislocated shit though.

92: Got a piercing: over a decade

91: Broke the law: probably frequently without realizing it.

90: Texted: couple mins ago.

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: oh I’m a funny bitch

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: nothing? fuck this house. fuck this town. fuck this state. I wanna go HOME home.

87: The last movie I saw: Smokin’ Aces 2

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: my nephew’s birth and the vacation we plan to take to see him!

85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: the travel for the vacation stated above.

84: People call me: a lot of things. most of them true.

83: The most difficult thing to do is: wake up

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus

80: The first person i talked to today was: my husband

79: First time you had a crush: I had a massive crush on Shawn Micheals as a kid.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my Seester

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably someone in the Flanaclan Chapel

76: Right now I am talking to: the Flanaclan on and off

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I’m supposed to grow up?

74: I have/will get a job: yes

73: Tomorrow: is Halloween

72: Today: I’m horny and annoyed

71: Next Summer: is a long time away

70: Next Weekend: work

69: I have these pets: already answered

68: The worst sound in the world: right now I’d have to say it’s Zane clucking his tongue.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself? or more specifically my anxiety brain.

66: People that make you happy: my Flanaclan friends, my bff, my sister.

65: Last time I cried: a few weeks ago

64: My friends are: on the internet and/or mostly too far away

63: My computer is: a hunk of shit laptop

62: My School: never going ever again.

61: My Car: looks like the car emoji.

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat animals

59: The movie I cried at was: recently? Up

58: Your hair color is: brown

57: TV shows you watch: SOA, SVU, SWAT, wrestling, Wynonna Earp, Van Helsing, Supernatural

56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube

55: Your dream vacation: Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, all that.

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: dislocating my knee

53: How do you like your steak cooked: med rare

52: My room is: some boring off-white

51: My favorite celebrity is: Tommy Flanagan

50: Where would you like to be: New Hampshire

49: Do you want children: I have 1 and that’s 1 too many.

48: Ever been in love: yup

47: Who’s your best friend: didn’t I already answer this?

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls nowadays. guys around here suck.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: reading Chibs fics, staring at Flanagan

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Flanagan

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: hell no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I did not.

40: Last person I got mad at: me

39: I would like to move to: for the millionth time, New Hampshire

38: I wish I was a professional: dog sitter/walker

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour Patch Watermelons

36: Vehicle: 90′s Ford Ranger, Jeep Renegade, Jeep Wrangler, Jeep Gladiator, Ford Shelby GT350R 

35: President: certainly not the fuckin’ current one.

34: State visited: Massachusetts

33: Cellphone provider: Verizon

32: Athlete: Aleister Black, Drew McIntyre, Luchasaurus, Sonny Kiss (and fuck you if you try to tell me they aren’t athletes)

31: Actor: Tommy Flanagan

30: Actress: Millie Bobby Brown

29: Singer: Ville Valo

28: Band: HIM

27: Clothing store: don’t care.

26: Grocery store: don’t care.

25: TV show: Law & Order: SVU (as much as I’d love to say SOA, Law & Order was my first real love)

24: Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You

23: Website: tumblr, youtube

22: Animal: dogs, wolves

21: Theme park: Zoos

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: professional wrestling, football, hockey

18: Sport to play: nothing that requires that much energy

17: Magazine: don’t read them much

16: Book: the House Of Night series and sequel series by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast (I don’t care that I’m probably too old for them now, I love them)

15: Day of the week: Saturday

14: Beach: Hampton Beach, NH

13: Concert attended: 69 Eyes headlined (opening with Night Kills The Day, then Fair To Midland which were fine but also Wednesday 13!!!!!)

12: Thing to cook: fajitas

11: Food: apple fritters/apple cider donuts

10: Restaurant: Panda Express I suppose.

9: Radio station: WGFA

8: Yankee candle scent: Midsummers Night

7: Perfume: don’t wear perfume so much as body spray and it’s usually something like cucumber melon or some baked goods scent.

6: Flower: Tiger Lillies

5: Color: Green- specifically Forest/Hunter

4: Talk show host: idk I used to watch Maury all the time, does that count?

3: Comedian: George Carlin

2: Dog breed: Pittie mixes, mutts, labs, medium to big short haired breeds

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes I did.

[ichigo777666]

FE3H Characters Ranked

My opinions of all the main characters in FE3H ranked from worst to best in my opinion. These are MY opinions! Spoilers ahead, obviously.

*NOTES*

This does not include any of the DLC characters. This also does not include the following characters since they have limited dialog / appearances within the game: Gwendal, Pallardo, Duke Aegir, Anna, Lambert, Ionious, Metodey, Kostas, Holst, Macuil, and Indech. Any other characters who are only mentioned by name are also not included. And Byleth is also not on this list due to being the player’s character.

Everyone else included in this list has a few interactions or mentions in multiple ending paths so they’re fair game. Not having a lot of interactions is not going to affect placement that much so don’t be surprised if some major characters wind up low on the list…

*The PIT*

Aka the worst of the worst. The characters I would throw into the void.

#54 – Leonie

I absolutely hate this character so much. Her personality is so flat and grating that she drives me up a wall. Her character can be summed up in two words “loves Jeralt” – that’s it. Just about everything about Leonie revolves around impressing Jeralt or being like Jeralt or doing this because of Jeralt ect. I don’t care if she’s useful as a playable character – every time she opens her mouth I cringe. Her support which is only available after Jeralt dies in which she berates you for “not appreciating him enough” is just the epitomny of selfishness. Then PTS she basically turns herself into a second Jeralt, replicting his outfit as best she can and giving herself his title “the blade breaker” and adds a 2. Excuse you, but is ANYONE can call themseleves that it’s Byleth, aka Jeralt’s child, not YOU. But she doesn’t care and does it anyway...

#53 – Rodrigue

Oh boy this is going to be a very unpopular opinion but in terms of a character, Rodrigue is kind shit. Rodrigue earns this spot for being the shittiest living parent in the game. His eldest son Glenn dies and his comment on that is how “he died like a true knight”. His first emotional response is pride not remorse. He never mentions how much he loved him or how he misses him: just how proud he was of him… And this pisses off poor Felix. Felix whom gets left ALONE after this happens because Rodrigue decides he’s got to be Dimitri’s mentor / guardian. So he basically straight up abandons his grieving 13 year old son to be the new father figure of the prince. Dimitri was more important to him that his own child. We can all see what the impact of this was on Felix through the game. And then, in Azure Sky, when Rodrigue joins you as a “mentor” character, he lacks all balls. Dimitri is going crazy and acting like a psychopath and Rodrigue doesn’t even really try to do anything about that – he just stands aside and comments on how he’s “changed”. I mean FRICK MAN – your were his guardian, his mentor. TALK TO HIM! But NOOOOOOO! So yeah, Rodrigue sucks!

#52 – Lord Lonato

Speaking of shit parents, here’s another for you! Yes, Lonato was kind enough to allow Ashe and his siblings to live with him, which is the oddest decision ever considering this came about after Lonato caught Ashe sneaking into his castle to steal from him. “I’ll just adopt this thief child”. Despite that act of kindness, he also chose to not tell Ashe the truth about what happened to his son Christophe; that Christophe was not involve with the Duscar incident but rather had been a part of a plot to try and kill Rhea. Lonato could not bring himself to believe that his son was wrong or had done anything wrong. Despite the fact that his son had decided, for whatever reason, to try and kill someone, Lonato thought that this was okay. He then sacrificed himself for the sake of trying to avenge his true son instead of continuing to care for the children he’d taken in. He basically took Ashe & his siblings in, giving them security for the first time in years, then chooses to follow his only wrong beliefs and thus put Ashe & his siblings back into the world again. He gave them 7 years of security and this just went “oh well, you’re on your own again”.

#51 – Gilbert /  Gustave

And rounding out the “shit parents” section of the list, we have the father that literally abandons his daughter and wife due to own depression. He’s totally alive and out there but just can’t bring himself to give a crap about either or write them any letters. Nope, he’s caught up in his head that he wasn’t there during the tragedy of Duscar, of how he “should have arrived sooner”. I mean, really? It is in now way his fault just because he’s a knight. He wasn’t supposed to be there and he’s got guilt that he wasn’t there? Seriously man?! And then when he finally does reunite with Annette all he does is push her away. Instead of letting Annette decide whatever she wants to be around him again, he chooses for her and denies her attempts to reconnect with him. Yeah, shit father…

*The Bottom of the Barrel*

These characters are bad. They’re not absolute utter garbage like the PIT characters, but they still are awful.

#50 – Dimitri

Yeah, I don’t like Dimitri. What is there to like about this guy? He was traumatized as a teenage when his dad was killed in-front of him and that changed him into a survival-guilt ridden bloodthirsty killer? Jeez, it honestly feels like someone tried to ft a whole bunch of tropes into one cohesive character and failed massively. The whole “brooding” phase in Azure Sky where he’s basically a tantrum throwing 5 year old only makes him worse. Also, I still don’t understand WHY he immediately jumped to the whole “Edelgard is the one who killed my parents” conclusion. The entire Duscar incident had nothing to do with Edelgard, unless Dimitri thinks a teenager with no power could do that. And, if he’s blaming the Empire, why does that extend to Edelgard who was just a princess at the time? I could see if something like the FE was present and that’s why he went crazy after Edelgard but I’m pretty sure the FE didn’t exist back then… so WTF? This is like “my parents were killed by a drunk driver. Hey you, unrelated person who just learned to drive this year, you are drunk therefore I HATE YOU – you killed my parents!” Really, no. NO.

#49 – Acheron

He has a minor role only but you fight him twice and you can get some background from Lorenz. He’s annoying and I guess he’s designed to be so. I don’t like him much. But he’s not as annoying as Dimitri.

#48 – Cyril

Oh Cyril. He’s such an annoying character. He’s a more toned down version of Leonie with his obsession with Rhea. He’s a bit of a jerk during his support conversations and he’s dismissive of his homeland. I think his supports with Seteth best show what Cyril’s all about: he’s devoting himself to repaying Rhea without thought for anything else, even his own future. He has no ambitions and no desires….how can a character be so bland?

#47 – Hannerman

And the obsessive one. ‘Obsession with Crests’ is just the only phrase you need to describe Hannerman. While I can understand why Hannerman as a character wants to research crests, the way he goes about it is just wrong. He hounds Lysithia w/o realizing why she’s avoiding his questions until she basically has to spell out WHY she’s uncomfortable with talking about it. He’s been hounding Seteth for 21 years about his crest and Flayn’s too. 21 fricking years of bothering someone and he can’t understand the answer “no”.

#46 – Arundel

Yeah, he’s a piece of shit but at least he’s interesting. He’s Edelgard’s uncle and yet he basically allowed her to be experimented on. Why? Who knows? He’s associated with TWSITD but why? Power? Conquest? He’s mysterious. His personality “suddenly changed” leaving the option open that he was replaced and the Arundel that exists now is a fake. He’s intriguing but he’s still a piece of crap.

#45 – Dedue

Oh Dedue. I feel like Dedue is stuck playing the “victim” card but without looking for sympathy. He’s from Duscar so everyone looks down on him...and Dedue just takes it. He doesn’t try to defend himself or say that just because he’s from Duscar doesn’t mean he’s evil. He does nothing to try and change anyone’s opinions – he’s content to just sit and take it. But then he talks about wanting to have the world move past the tragedy….so which is it Dedue? In order to have it change, you need to actually DO SOMETHING!!!!

#44 – Thales

The weakest character of the main three. The game tells you almost nothing about Thales...and then you go and read the wiki and find out he’s Arundel….yeah mind telling us that game?! So he’s higher than Arundel.

#43 – Nemesis

Another evil character with no personality or real background. Why did he start his rampage? Was he manipulated or just evil? Who knows….

#42 – Judith

Judith has such a small role unless you’re playing VW. And in VW she’s a bit of a bitch who treats Claude as a misbehaving child even after he proves himself again and again.

#41 – Nader

AKA the Alymrian general you meet briefly in VW and in CF. He’s in for less than a few minutes and he appears to be jolly/happy and has the rep of being an undefeated general. I guess he’s alright. But with no real role I can’t bring myself to feel anything for him

#40 – Annette

When I first played I was on the fence with Annette. I sorta liked her determination and her drive to reunite her family. But then her singing started...and oh boy do I hate her singing. So many of her supports center around that annoying singing! Just STOP already, please! Also WTF is that blue “tab” in her PTS redesign that’s right on her butt? It’s the only one...

#39 – Ferdinand

Ferdinand’s personality is just...annoying. From his meme’d battle line to his constant talk of “being a noble” he just grates my nerves. And why does he act like this? Because his father is not and he’s trying to not be like his father and be a “good person”….

*The Low-End*

These characters are “eh” characters. They’re aren’t too good or too bad...but they lean more towards bad than good.

#38 – Kronya / Monica

This was an interesting idea. I just wish she had been more involved or usable. Like if you’re playing BE house, she becomes a playable member. Something to endear her a bit more other than “this other random character you rescued who acts suspiciously”. Let’s face it, we all knew something was up with her. And then she’s killed off so easily and quickly...

#37 – Cornelia

Okay, she’s a bit interesting and a manipulator. They weren’t afraid to give her an “ugly face”. She’s a schemer and not afraid to flaunt her assets to give her an advantage.

#36 – Alois

Eh. Alois. Loves jokes, very loyal. I guess he’s alright but he’s not spectacular and some of the jokes and just so so so so so so bad.

#35 – Ashe

Ashe is another character that I think lacked development. I mean he just gained a slight bit of confidence and purpose but he’s not one for much change. His personality over all is a bit bland: he likes stories about knights and is worried about his siblings. Oh and he used to be a thief.

#34 – Jeritza

Bland because he’s meant to be bland. His other personality is typical “killer knight”. What saves Jeritza is his support conversations where you get background and you realize why he’s the way he is.

*The Middle Ground*

These characters are right in the middle. Not great but not awful.

#33 – Ladislava

In every ending except CF, you only get to see her once but in CF you can chat with her and learn more about her. She’s the head of Edelgard’s person guard and its heavily implied she had next to nothing before this appointment. She’s fully loyal to Edelgard, even willing to die for her cause.

#32 – Flame Emperor

I listed this character separate since FE is an enigma. I actually liked the design of the FE and the whole mystery surrounding them.

#31 – Manuela

I’m...ambivalent about Manuela. She’s a drunken whiner at time and other time she turns into something sweet and reliable. She’s so worried about her age but she’s NOT that old. It’s a bit trope-y though...to have an older character all concerned about her age.

#30 – Jeralt

Jeralt’s a good dad character albeit a flawed one too. It’s a shame they didn’t give him any support conversations to flesh him out more. As it is most of what we learn about Jeralt comes from others.

#29 – Sothis

I don’t hate Sothis like most. She’s a bit bratty, yes but look at from her way – she’s got no memories, no recollections, and has found herself somehow stuck with this person. She tries to help out Byleth best she can, even if it sometimes leads to near disaster.

#28 – Gatekeeper

A nice wholesome character who always wants to help out and be useful. He’s a nice guy but suffers from lack of characterization.

#27 – Mercedes

First off, I dislike the “breathy” quality of her voice. She’s a very nice girl and very kind...but that’s about all there is to Mercedes...

#26 – Raphael

Ah, the big guy who loves to eat. He’s overprotective but not too overprotective of his little sister. He’s strong, interested in his muscles, and in getting stronger but it’s because he’s shouldering the responsible of taking care of his sister. Still he’s a bit trope-y.

#25 – Lindhardt

Lindhardt make up your dang mind! He talks about wanting to study crests but when he’s offered by two separate people to do just that he complains about how he’s being “tied down”. Really? His laziness and sleepiness also gets tired after a while.

#24 – Ignatz

Ignatz is a character who shows a lot of growth and goes from having no confidence in what he wants to do to finding his path. However Ignatz remains a pushover who gives in to whatever anyone advises even when he knows its wrong. It takes a long, long, long time for Ignatz to learn to have any say in himself...which is why he’s down here.

#23 – Solon

The most developed of the three main TWSITD characters. I feel his reveal as Tomas was ruined by the poorly executed Monica / Kronya earlier. However he was unexpected. Who expects the librarian? It would have been better if they didn’t have him as “suspect” in the whole Flayn is missing part through.

#22 – Randolph

You only really get to know Randolph in CF although he’s got a minor part in AS where we see that he truly cares for his sister and how he feels he must do this, even if he risks dying. In CF, we get to learn more about Randolph. He’s actually a step-uncle to Caspar through his mother marrying into the family. He has no power or clout so everything he earns is done by action. It’s a shame they killed him off so early.

#21 – Caspar

Caspar is a good character in several ways. He’s not depressed about not being the heir to his house and is motivated to find his own way. He knows he’s flawed and in his supports he tries to change only to learn that he’s better off following his own path. It’s his boisterous yelling and charging headfirst into danger is what I don’t like about him.

*The High Side*

These are characters I like. They’re not the best but I like them and can understand them.

#20 – Hilda

Ah Hilda. Hilda’s one of those characters that surprise you. Hilda starts off being this lazy character who doesn’t want to battle and doesn’t want to do chores. Not because she can’t do them, but just because she’s lazy. You see her trying to get out of things in her supports only to either feel guilty or wind up helping someone learn something. But I think where Hilda shines is in VW where she acts as Claude’s “advisor” and some of Claude’s best plans come from suggestions from Hilda. By then she’s come into her own. I also enjoy Hilda’s C support with Seteth greatly where he just lists all the excuses she’s given flat out as Hilda gets more and more nervous.

#19 – Claude

Claude made it up here due to his unprediacbility. Some of his plots/schemes are downright hillarious. Claude is unashamed of who he is and where he comes from – he knows who he is and who he wants to become. And, in a game riddled with characters who struggle with that very issues, Claude’s a bit of a breath of fresh air.

#18 – Fleche

Ah Fleche. She’s a very minor character but she’s got such an impact on the story in AM – this is what path we’re going to discuss. We first meet Fleche when she’s talking with Randolph, her brother, right before Randolph heads out on a mission that will ultimately end with his death. Instead of doing the typical thing for a young girl which is to cry, Fleche goes ‘nah’ and decides to take revenge. She disguises herself as a “maiden” and goes to try and join the Kingdom Army; she’s allowed to by Dimitri. Fleche bides her time and waits until after a big battle and then straight up goes and tries to murder Dimitri. She actually stabs him once and barely fails in her task of killing him. Against Dimitri, one of the strongest characters... a little girl.. Yeah, Fleche is kinda badass.

#17 – Miklan

Okay, so here’s another good sympathetic villain character. Miklan was born with no crest so he was looked down upon by his family. He was the first child however so his family kept him...at least until his brother Sylvain was born with a crest. Then Milan became “garbage” and useless in the eyes of his family and thus was disinherited. He lashed out against his brother multiple times. With no one on his side, Milkan became the leader of a group a bandits and began taking things he wanted, things he felt he should have had, by any means necessary. He later stole the heirloom lance from his family, intent of keeping it and its power for himself. While it’s true Miklan is not a nice person at all, more like a sadist, the reason he became that way was due the treatment of his family.

#16 – Dorothea

I am in the camp of the very few who like Dorothea’s second outfit better than her first – that dress is boss. Some of her supports are downright sweet and her interactions with Ingrid in their paralogue are just adorable. I love how we get to see so many different sides of Dorothea and how she treats each of her aquantinces with the side of herself that’s most appropiate.

#15 – Shamir

The silent Shamir. Unlike so many characters who talk and talk and talk, Shamir only speaks when necessary until she gets close to someone. Her skills are top-knotch, which is showcased in her supports. Her personality is a reflection of her work and the kind of jobs she does as well as her way of protecting herself. She’s mysterious and deadly.

#14 – Rhea

Oh Rhea. I’m often torn in the way I feel about her, going from understanding to becoming frustrated with her within the span of a single conversation. Her desire to see her mother is what drives everything she does – every single thing. She is 100% committed to trying to reach her goal, no matter the cost, and she’s been at it for almost an eon. Outside of that goal, what she’s doing she truly believes is the right thing. She’s trying to guide people towards the right path and away from conflict. She lets no one truly into her innermost thoughts, not even Seteth, and her emotions are all sequested away, so much so that when they do come out it becomes obvious. I mean, for anyone who thinks she’s nuts, let’s take a look at some of the trauma she’s gone through. Her beloved mother, whom she obviously cared for more than anything, was murdered and her body was used to make a weapon. Said weapon was then used to slaughter the vast majority of her brethern who were then in turn alos turned into weapons to be used to kill. She had to then fight the man who had killed her mother to reclaim what’s left of her body and to stop any more pointless killing. Yeah, Rhea’s had it rough.

#13 – Marianne

Ah, sweet Marianne. It was great to watch her change and grow based on her supports with the other characters. Her caring nature towards the animals, espcially the horses, was lovely – she even knows the names of a few of them (the only one to refer to the horses by name). I like how her PTS outfit reflects the changes she’s overcome – even the subtly of making her hair neater.

#12 – Catherine

Badass female knight with a legendary sword. She’s brash, not lady-like, and not afraid of anything really. The way she rushes into combat w/o a though for danger, the fact that she doesn’t try and hide her past from the person whom it affects the most, and her way of testing people. Catherine’s great.

#11 – Hubert

Juts missing the top 10 is loyal Hubert. I’ll admit I didn’t like Hubert at first but he grew on me bit by bit. Hubert’s S-Support with Byleth is like the cutest thing ever – I was not expecting it at all. This is loyalty done in a good way.

*The Summit*

The best characters in the game, IMO. These are the characters I love!

#10 – Petra

I got to admit, I like her not-perfect talking. That’s so much of Petra’s charm. Adding to that is how Petra’s always trying her best and trying to advance herself. She has modest goals she wishes to reach and doesn’t try and sell herself as better than she is. She’s always willing to learn and to help others. When there’s someone with a different opinion, Petra tries to understand why they feel the weay they feel and to try and find common ground.

#9 – Lysithia

Oh poor girl. Lysithia struggles with others seeing her as a child or too childish due to the fact that she’s younger than most of the students. She’s incredibly intellegent and throws herself into her studies. Both of these things lead to others teasing her, either playfully or actually. Instead of taking it stride, this ‘teasing’ causes her temper to show and erupt. She can’t tell them WHY she’s trying so hard, why she’s so desperate to achieve cause that would reveal her secret. She’s burrying all this hurt and anger deep inside that she can’t talk about because can understand what she went through (except perhaps Edelgard). And even though she knows she’s going to likely die soon, she’s not focused on her own life: she’s doing all she’s doing to try and help her family...

#8 – Sylvain

Sylvain quickly became one of my favorite blue lion boys. At first glance he looks like this degenerate womanizer...and then you learn abut him and why Sylvain is why he is. His father views him as a studhorse and that his crest is the only good thing about him; his father literally cannot see Sylvain as an actual person, just a way to further the family. Having a father like this and a brother who hates him for having been born with a crest has greatly shaped Sylvain. In order to have some semblence of himself, Sylvain began to act out, to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he could to not be what he was supposed to be. His father wanted a noble son; Sylvain did everything he could to not be that. This got him into trouble again and again but Sylvain didn’t care. Sylvain is willing to do things that make others look down upon him if it helps him try and escape from his life...

#7 – Bernadetta

Aw, Bernie. Bernie’s such a good girl. Based on what she went through, it’s amazing she’s even sane. Her father’s idea of parenting was tying her to a chair and forcing her to remain quiet and submissive for hours, to “teach her to be a good wife” which is the reason she turned into such a nervous wreck of shut-in. He resorted to beating to near death a boy she made friends with because he was a commoner, which terrified Bernie into not wanting to make friends at all. Bernie’s mom seemed to have a little sense and smuggled her out but this is only AFTER she allows this stuff to go on for years – YEARS. Bernie’s had years of psycological trama inflicted on her and then she gets thrust into a school surrounded by people whom she has to interact with. The poor thing. It’s a testament to her professors and friends to see how far Bernie has come; to watch her change and grow as she slowly comes around to adjusting to normality.

#6 – Ingrid

There is something incredibly entertaining about a lady knight who loves to gorge herself on food. Loving eating food is generally a character trait you see on guys (typically big guys like Raphael) so to see it on a chick is a good change of pace. Her whole no-nonsense strict attitude is a great contrast to that. She’s not girly or into very lady-like things such as dresses or makeup or tea parties. Ingrid is a guy’s soul in a girl’s body….and she’s amazing.

#5 – Felix

If you haven’t read the entry for Rodrigue (he’s #53 on this list) go read that first. After all that shit that Felix’s gone through, it’s amazing he’s even still standing and capable. He’s stewing with anger and grief that he’s never been able to work through and it manifests as anger and his stand-off attitude. Poor freaking Felix.

#4 – Flayn

Fishy Queen. I do not get the hate for Flayn. She’s been horribly oversheleted by Seteth in his attempts to protect her so it’s left Flayn a bit naive. Flayn’s usually very cheery and happy which is a bright light in the depressing war times. She’s also a quite capable mage, mainly with healing magic but she can also learn a good bit of reason magic too. Flayn is always trying her best while trying to fit in with the others – she’s over 1000 years old, mind you! It can’t be easy trying to fit in when you don’t understand and when a vast majorirty of those years were spent asleep. She was involved in an ancient battle where she was badly injured (Seteth blames it on her being too young) and requires sleep inorder to heal. Meanwhile everyone else she knew and lived with aside from Seteth was killed. She wakes up an everything she knew and just about everyone she knew is just...gone. Not only her beloved mother but any friends she had too are just gone. It’s no wonder she fears falling asleep when this is what happened. Her obession with fish? It’s Flayn’s coping mechanism for dealing with the loss of her mother. Flayn explains on numerous occassions that she spent lots of time sitting with her mother while she fished and that fish is her favorite food due “to no small part” of this pastime. Fishing and eating fish is Flayn’s way of remembering her mother and dealing with the fact that she’s no longer with her. Flayn’s supports are just great; they all develop her personality more. With Dimitri and Dedue, Flayn’s cooking is explored. Flayn can’t cook although she tries her best. With Dedue, Flayn tries to learn to cook better. With Dimitri, Flayn expresses her disdain that no one enjoys her cookings and how this wastes food, even when she tries her best. Obviously Flayn never cooked before – her mother did most of it. Now there’s no one in her family to cook so Flayn’s trying to learn to try and follow in her mom’s footsteps. With Ignatz and Manuela, Flayn’s exploring things she never has seen or done before: the opera for Manuela and paintings with Ignatz. In Claude’s and Lindhardt’s supports, Flayn sidesteps questions about her heritage and her crests. With Sylvain, we see how Flayn grows and learns to not trust the rumors others say. In Felix’s, she’s trying to help Felix find a purpose after the war ends that still allows him to use his sword. With Raphael’s it’s Flayn who’s being helped by Raphael as she tries to “grow stronger”; she even mentions how she’s frail and how this worries Seteth. And then there’s Ferdinand’s supports where it’s clear Flayn’s been starved of physical affections aside from Seteth. And their supports, between Seteth and Flayn, are a great progression between the two...Overall, I love little Flayn.

#3 – Lorenz

I like noble boy. I will admit, I hated his schooldays haircut with a burning passion...and then man on man did he become HOT pts. Winner of the best boy glow-up. A lot of Lorenz’s character flaws are the fault of his father. His father taught him that all that is important is being nobility and Lorenz ate it up, not knowing any better. His father instilled into him how he neeed to find a wife to further the family’s influence and thus how she must be a noble. This worked so well on Lorenz to the point that he willing to even give up someone he loves if they happen to be a commoner. Lorenz spends a lot of time trying to ‘interview’ girls to find his perfect noble bride, coming off as a bit on an ass – even when he’s confronted by Byleth he refuses to believe he’s done anything wrong since this is what his father taught him to do. It takes a long time until Lorenz starts seeing that he is wrong that what his father taught him is wrong. He starts using his own head and his own eyes to determine what is instead of using the opinion blasted into him by his father. He’s always trying to help other, feeling it’s his obligation as a noble to help those around him, which is a quality that he alone seems to take seriously (despite the school being filled with nobles). He originally dislikes Claude cause he believes that Claude isn’t taking his responsibility as the next Alliance head seriously since Claude is so laid back. He eventually comes to see that, despite appearances, Claude is working on the issues and is capable. His S support with Byleth where he mentions how he has "worked tirelessly to improve" "to become a man truly worthy of (Byleth)" and then is uttely shocked if Byleth tells him he already was worthy shows how dedicated he can be. With Ignatz, he instills confidence in him, seeing talent in Ignatz for art and talking about how there is more to knighthood than combat. His poetry writing comes out with Manuela’s supports and he convinces Hilda through actions to actually throw herself into battle. But I think his best supports are with Marianne. The vast majority of her supports are the others telling her to “be more confident” or “smile more” or other such things where they give her advice on how to improve...but Lorenz is the only one who comes to see that nothing needs to change. He starts by complementing her and then commenting on how she “needs polish” only to realize he was wrong and state she is “becautiful just the way she is”, accepting her fully for who she is without looking to change a thing. He is, essentially, telling her she is perfect the way she is and she doesn’t need to change at all for him to love her...which I find just so utterly sweet.

#2 – Edelgard

Edel gets a lot of hate but I honestly love her character so much. Edelgard is a doer not someone who sits by and does nothing. Due to things outside of her (and her father’s) control, she would up the victim in an experiment, a experiment that killed all of her siblings. Edelgard alone survived although at a cost. That experience forever changed her. Gone was the child and in her place rose Lady Edelgard. Unlike Lysithia who is dealing with her similar situation by trying to provide for her family before her time runs out, Edelgard isn’t. Her goal is the destruction of the circumstances that caused the experiment as well as those who caused the experiment to happen upon her so that this cannot happen again to anyone else. Since the experiment were done to give crests and since Edelgard has obviously seen how some children are treated whent hey have / do not have one, she aims to destroy all of that. Edelgard is literally stomping her foot down and saying ‘no, this isn’t a good or fair system and I’m not going to stand around and let it continue’. She’s willing to sacrifice everything to attain this goal, even if it turns her into a monster or ends in her death. Instead of waiting for the world to change, Edelgard decides to BE the change. She knows she’s going to be responsible for the deaths of a lot of people and she clearly struggles with the idea of this but in the end she decides that if she does nothing than that number will be greater so she persists. She burries her desire for friends and for love because she can’t bring herself to trust or rely on others – her father loved her but couldn’t protect her; the nobles in her father’s court are resonsible for hurting her too. They had her trust and they betrayed it. Her heart has been broken already; I don’t think she wants to risk it breaking again by trusting someone who will betray her, by making friends who can abandon her, by falling in love with someone who doesn’t understand what she’s doing. In CF when you side with Edelgard, you get to see more of that emotion slowly come out. Think on the PTS reunions: Dimitri was in disbelief and then apathetic that Byleth was alive; Claude was slightly surprised but then glad; Edelgard though broke down. Edelgard was the only one to get so emotional over Byleth’s return – someone she had trusted whom had returned that trust wasn’t dead after all; there wasn’t another corpse to add to the pile of people she cared for. And in that final animatic where Byleth falls – she’s clearly so upset. She’s crying, clearly devistated. Devistation which turns into laughter when Byleth revives because she can’t believe it. I stand by my opinion that Crimson Flower is the canon ending for FE3H. It’s the only ending where the endings song is different; all 3 other paths have the same song “Edge of Dawn” but not CF – you get something different. Add to that that EoD is sung by Edelgard. And let’s not forget the symbolism. The game is Fire Emblem. What’s a fire emblem? Crest of Flames. Who posess this crets out of the main cast: Byleth & Edelgard. And in CF you unite. Also notice the same letters. Crimson Flower (CF) & Crest of Flames (CF). That’s not a coincidence.

#1 – Seteth

I honestly could fill pages on why I love Seteth as a character but for here I’ll try and keep it shortish. I’ll start with his supports. Seteth’s supports are all about his advice to the others and him trying to guide them. For Cyril, he’s talking about how it’s great to repay debts but it is also important to consider one’s future as well; he doesn’t want to see Cyril just waste his whole life in servitude to Rhea but rather to grow into his own. With Catherine, it’s concern over her safety, over how she throws herself into battle without care for the consequences. For Manuela, it starts with a lecture over her drinking habits but turns into something far more personal when his wife and daughter get mentioned. Outside of the paralogue, this is the only time an outside person gets to learn that Seteth even had/has a wife and daughter and it’s Manuela who gets told it, implying a deeper friendship. Hannerman’s involves his investiagtion of Seteth’s crest and how Seteth is constantly refuting him, obviously trying to protect himself and Flayn from others finding out the truth. With Leonie, he teaches her how to relax while fishing while she improves his own skills in the area. For Hilda, he’s trying to improve her work ethic first by confronting her about her excuses, and then by writing a story about her laziness...which does work somewhat as it gets her to work on illustrations. For Ingrid, he’s a voice of reason about the demands of her father and he’s the one who suggests that Ingrid simply talk to him about her issues, something which she didn’t consider. For Felix, he’s trying to help Felix realize his beliefs are holding him back and that he needs to make friends. With Bernie, he helps her build some confidence in her own skills and talents. And of course we can’t forget his interactions with Flayn where he goes from overly protective, to realizing he’s a bit too overbearing, to actual apologizing for that. Seteth acts as a conduit or a spark that helps inspire change in those around him, to wake up potential, or to see things differently. He’s strict and often seems somewhat unreasonable about rules and regulations but its obvious this is his way of trying to protect people. He’s shouldering massive guilt over the events that happened in the last war. He personally blames himself for Flayn being hurt and for his wife dying. This event spurred him on to becoming overprotective of his daughter, of the only thing he had left. Seteth is doing what he’s doing to PROTECT his child (unwilling to see her to come to harm), even if he’s going about it in the incorrect way. He has literally devoted his whole life to protecting Flayn to the point that when she gets kidnapped, he falls apart at the seams and is unable to do anything at all except despair and distress. Flayn has become his whole world and just about everything Seteth does is to protect her or help her. That kind of devotion from a father is incredible, especially in a series where most of the parents kinda suck. I also adore how he breaks the typical “paper-skinned mage” trope. Let’s face it, most of us probably thought the stern chuch advisor was likely going to be a mage – and then we get a wyvern rider with a lance. I could go on and on, but I’ll leave it here. Seteth is just the best character.

...this was 18 pages of writing.....

[undertalefan715]

Doing one of the ask lists for Joyce. :3 @createsy-muffin

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Never held hands...

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Umm.. it kinda depends sometimes.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Nobody rn.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Well, one: I’m never gonna get drunk. two: I don’t think anyone would give a shit if I was drunk tbh.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Oh, Idk! lots.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

God I hope so..

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Umm.. you Joyce. heheh.. :3

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

It depends on the person I’m talking too.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Probably Spoony.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Jeez..”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Oof.. Idk it’s hard for me to choose songs. ‘cause there’s always alot. :’) 

Well um.. Never and 151 Rum from J.I.D, Chris Cornell’s cover of Billie Jean, Chum from Earl Sweatshirt, Hellboy from Trippie Redd, and Pink Maggit from Deftones.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Omg yes yessss- (my hair is made to be pet and played with)

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah. heh.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

(it’s not summer yet)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Ooo, yes. (I love to think aliens exist somewhere)

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nope.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yeah, they’re pretty nice and relaxing.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Fuck no. ugh.

21. What are you bad habits?

I really don’t know.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Japan. one day.

23. Do you have trust issues?

At times. very very rarely though.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Playing guitar. :> (or taking a bath)

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My eyebrows, or my mustache. (mostly my eyebrows)

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Nothing. :/

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Idc. but I do wish I was a bit darker.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Spoony and Joyce.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

...No. I could only wish though.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Eh.. depends.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Oh yeah. hahah.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Oh, I really don’t know actually. but one of those celebrities would be Jason Momoa, ‘cause godDAMN he is fine. >u>

33. Spell your name with your chin.

.,I,KRF (omfg hah)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Nah.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Oh definitely TV. if I lived without music, I’d probably die. lol.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

I don’t think so. no.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Awkward silence..?” then I laugh.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Strong, cute and adorable, beautiful and pretty, sweet and caring, affectionate and loving, very cuddly and understanding, kinda feminine, funny... heh.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Ingles. (a small local store over here in NC. Idk if some of y’all are familiar with it)

40. What do you want to do after high school?

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yes.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Concentrating, or really upset/depressed.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah, sometimes. :3

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Ooo! outer space definitely! :00

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Nothing. (or my mom lol)

46. What are you paranoid about?

Pretty much everything.

47. Have you ever been high?

No.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nope.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Uhm.. not necessarily. 

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

Idk.. black? (everything I wear is black lol)

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Sometimes. not often.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wish I wasn’t so depressed all the time...

53. Favorite makeup brand?

I don’t do makeup.

54. Favorite store?

Guitar Center. (lol..)

55. Favorite blog?

Idk.. I have lots of faves on here. ;-;

56. Favorite color?

Black and red. (so edgy)

57. Favorite food? 

Doesn’t really matter but, probably pizza tbh.

58. Last thing you ate?

Salisbury Steak and Macaroni.

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Idk. cereal?

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, I don’t really compete.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Idk. and if I did, it was probably for something completely ridiculous I didn’t do, or didn’t mean to do.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope. (again, am gud boyo)

63. Ever been in love? 

Yeah...

65. Are you hungry right now?

Nah.

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Hell yeah! (I don’t even have any friends I know irl)

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter of course. (the fuck is Facebook)

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Uhm.. Tumblr.

69. Are you watching TV right now?

Bob the Builder. (don’t judge me) (also 69 heheheheheheh)

70. Names of your best friends? 

Orion, Joyce, Rivers, Sam.

71. Craving something? What?

Nah.

72. What color are your towels?

Umm.. beige and a.. dry-ish looking pink.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

About 4 or 5.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Sometimes. :’3

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Oof, alot. :’)

75. Favorite animal?

Goats. :33

76. What color is your underwear?

...Black? (weird question but, alright)

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Depends, but I’ve always liked vanilla.

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Pretty much anything with cookies in it.

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

Dark blue.

80. What color pants?

Black with red stripes.

81. Favorite TV show?

Right now, it’s Umbrella Academy.

82. Favorite movie?

Pretty much any Pixar film.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Haven’t watch either. and I don’t think I will.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

Idk umm.. Gill maybe?

87. First person you talked to today?

Either Galexion or Joyce.

88. Last person you talked to today?

I think, Spoony.

89. Name a person you hate?

*sigh* Idk.

90. Name a person you love?

Pretty much all my friends. :’))

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

One of my sister’s “friends”. she’s such a fucking bitch. a fucking snake.

92. In a fight with someone?

No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

I don’t think any.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Again, I don’t think I have any. (of my own, that is)

95. Last movie you watched?

Oof, I don’t know.

96. Favorite actress?

I don’t really have one.

97. Favorite actor?

Again, don’t really have one.

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah. (I’m as white as a ghost actually)

99. Have any pets?

2 cats. :3

100. How are you feeling?

Okay. (tired though)

101. Do you type fast?

Sometimes. not alot though.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yup.

103. Can you spell well?

Nope. hahah.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah.. sometimes..

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

No..?

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

I-I hope not...

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes! I was REALLY young though. :’)

108. What should you be doing?

Lots of things... u_u

109. Is something irritating you right now?

No.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yeah...

111. Do you have trust issues?

No. but rn someone is really testing my trust.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I... I’m not sure.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Idk, I can’t really remember rn...

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

The furthest I’ve been is tennessee. and that’s right next to us. lol..

115. Do you play the Wii?

Yeah. (I have different 3 Wii’s actually lmao)

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah. Love Hurts. from Incubus..

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Fuck yeah!!!

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Not really.

119. Favorite book?

Oof.. Idk.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No, not really.

121. Are you mean?

I... probably am rn...

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No. never.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Shoes?

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Of course. heheh. uwu

125. Do you believe in true love?

Ofc! >u<

126. Are you currently bored?

Yeah. :T

127. What makes you happy?

Goat boys, my friends, music. etc.

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, I like it. :3

129. What your zodiac sign?

Aries/Pisces cusp. :>

130. Do you like subway?

Nah.

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Well, I’ll probably have the same feelings. heheh.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

(didn’t I do this one before?)

133. Favorite lyrics right now?

“Pardon me, while I burst a flame, I’ve had enough of the world, and it’s peoples mindless games.” - Pardon Me from Incubus. (and lots of other lyrics, but that one is stuck in my mind)

134. Can you count to one million?

Hell no. lmao

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Pretty much all lies I’ve told. (I can not lie for shit. which can be a good thing I guess)

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

I like them opened, but sometimes I gotta close them ‘cause of my cats. :T

137. How tall are you?

5′8.

138. Curly or Straight hair?

“Straight” hair.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette.

140. Summer or Winter?

Idk.. I think winter. uwu

141. Night or Day?

Both. but mostly night sometimes.

142. Favorite month?

March. :>

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope. lmao.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk or white chocolate. dark has always been kinda gross. Idk.

145. Tea or Coffee?

Neither. hot cocoa. :3

146. Was today a good day?

Eh. it was a day.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Eh. neither really.

148. What’s your favorite quote?

Ah.. Idk. I can’t really think of any...

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sometimes. :0

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 

Um... I can’t rn. it’s a bit late...

[horsegirlhob]

a n s w e r t h e m a l l

Jesus take the weel we really gon do this huh?

Well, prepare yourself I guess.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Mah girlfrien

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Outgoing I guess?

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Courtney Barnette in concert tonight good music I strongly recommend.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I like to think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Yeh I’d assume so 

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Smart funny people? Idk.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Yeah

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

No one?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My therapist

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

It’s the “Guess I’ll die” picture.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

You can’t make me choose

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Depends on who it is.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Nah.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I went to france which was litty as a titty (I regret the words that I speak)

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Absolutely

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Yep, definitely

 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No, but not because of some falling out or anything, we just went to different high schools

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Never had one

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Yeah, overall.

21. What are you bad habits?

I bite my nails and I write all my ‘f’s like fuckin forte symbols

22. Where would you like to travel?

I’d like to go to venice again before it sinks into the ocean

23. Do you have trust issues?

Nah

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Getting home 

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Fuckin boobs

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Pretend that I have not woken up

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Darker because I burn so fuckin easily

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

The neighborhood cat

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Yes my many many exes that I seduced and who are all still in love with me. (Jk I have no exes)

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I really don’t care either way.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Not even remotely

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Jodi Whittaker and Jodi because They’re both great but more importantly their names rhyme

33. Spell your name with your chin.

johanna (I am so impressed with myself you have no idea)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I used to play soccer and now I do aerial silks

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Definitely no tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yeah, of course.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I usually just poke the other person with a stick like some kind of roadkill racoon

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Don’t really have one

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

The candy ones

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Go to university

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Not everyone but usually (for like minor stuff. Rapists and stuff like that I’m not inclined to give a second chance.)

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m asleep

43. Do you smile at strangers?

I wink suggestively at strangers until they run away.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My mother turning on my light and yelling at me

46. What are you paranoid about?

Everyone hating me

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Once with my grandmother

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yep

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wish that my chest were smaller (aka no boobs would be a fun time)

53. Favourite makeup brand?

The... face... kind?

54. Favourite store?

the grocery store

55. Favourite blog?

Certainly not my own

56. Favourite colour?

Red

57. Favourite food? 

I’ve always loved all kinds of asian cuisine. Right now I’m kinda craving sushi.

58. Last thing you ate?

A homemade cranberry muffin

59. First thing you ate this morning?

A homemade cranberry muffin

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Some soccer tournaments.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nothing

62. Been arrested? For what?

Arrested for stealing people’s hearts ;)

63. Ever been in love? 

Pass

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

My girlfriend kissed me in the theatre room because no one was there and I was leaving for 2 months and then we sat in silence for half an hour.

65. Are you hungry right now?

Not really

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

What real friends?

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Instagram

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No.

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Evelin

71. Craving something? What?

Craving that sweet sweet serotonin

 72. What colour are your towels?

Mostly blue and purple

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

deux

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Oui

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

You mean how many drawers of stuffed animals? the answer is three. Three drawers full. 

75. Favourite animal?

Fox or raccoon

76. What colour is your underwear?

Purple

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

I’m a slut of some good cookie dough

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Black

80. What colour pants?

Grey

81. Favourite tv show?

It’s not my favourite but I just finished watching the good place which is a good show

82. Favourite movie?

Don’t really have one. Maybe Heathers?

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls (never seen 21 jump street)

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Karen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Crush

87. First person you talked to today?

My mother

88. Last person you talked to today?

My father

89. Name a person you hate?

Jada

90. Name a person you love?

Evelin

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Myself 

92. In a fight with someone?

Myself

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Too many

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

at least 11

95. Last movie you watched?

Ant man and the wasp

96. Favourite actress?

Jodi Whittaker because she’s the first one I could think of.

97. Favourite actor?

David Tennant because I was thinking about doctor who

98. Do you tan a lot?

If by tan you mean burn

99. Have any pets?

I have a little sister

100. How are you feeling?

Depressed and distressed

101. Do you type fast?

Yeah but it’s with really bad technique

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes

103. Can you spell well?

Absolutely not

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes actually

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Only my parents

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yep

108. What should you be doing?

Not this

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Period cramps are a bitch

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Dan and Phil

111. Do you have trust issues?

No and I feel like this was asked already

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend probably

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Joji

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yep

115. Do you play the Wii?

Nope

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Always

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes but only actual Chinese food none of your american Chinese shit

119. Favourite book?

I want my hat back

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No

121. Are you mean?

Mainly to myself

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I can’t even keep black shoes clean

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not at all

125. Do you believe in true love?

In a way

126. Are you currently bored?

Not really

127. What makes you happy?

Dan and Phil

128. Would you change your name?

In a heartbeat

129. What your zodiac sign?

Virgo

130. Do you like subway?

I mean it’s not like, my favourite food but I’ll eat it

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

But he’s gay

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

I know for sure that we asked this question already

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“The paramedic thinks I’m clever cause I play guitar, I think she’s clever cause she stops people dying”

134. Can you count to one million?

No because patience is a virtue

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“Yeah I have math class next” (I had french class)

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′10

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Well I have straight hair, but I don’t know if this means me or on other people.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

December

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope, I like eating that thick meat.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milky milky goodness

145. Tea or Coffee?

Both

146. Was today a good day?

Objectively

147. Mars or Snickers?

Twix

148. What’s your favourite quote?

[Embrace the void and] have the courage to exist 

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

I am a ghost. 

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)

“Staring at my reflection in one of those angled shoe-store mirrors when I was six or seven, thinking there was something wrong with my body.”

That was long and I apologize to everyone who follows me.

[noneofchar]

1-150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

The guy I have a crush on

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

The guy I have a crush on

4. Are you easy to get along with?

yes

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

yes

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

motivated people who are funny and easy to spend time with and who I can have fun doing anything with

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I hope so

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

The crush

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Depends on who with

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

The crush

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“info wars, lol”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Glitter and Gold - Barns Courtney, Suavemente - Elvis Crespo, Pepper Spray - Dawin, Big Love - Fleetwood Mac, Natural Disaster - Zac Brown Band

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yes

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I made new friends

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yes

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

no

19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

never talked to them

21. What are you bad habits?

I procrastinate

22. Where would you like to travel?

Everywhere

23. Do you have trust issues?

nah

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

getting home

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

stomach

26. What do you do when you wake up?

hit snooze haha

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

nah

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my cats

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

yes

30. Do you ever want to get married?

yes

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yes

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Chris Pratt and Chris Evans

33. Spell your name with your chin.

cvgarliktted

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

none

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

My current situation hah

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

depends on the situation

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

kind, funny, sexy, great smile, good with kids, excellent kisser

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

grocery store

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I went to college haha

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

no

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m tired haha

43. Do you smile at strangers?

yes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

my job

46. What are you paranoid about?

if I’m being talked about

47. Have you ever been high?

yup

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yup

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

yes

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

blue

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

nah

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

boost my metabolism

53. Favourite makeup brand?

dont have one

54. Favourite store?

Central Market

55. Favourite blog?

there are so many

56. Favourite colour?

blue

57. Favourite food? 

delicious food

58. Last thing you ate?

pad thai

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Watermelon Starburst

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Costume contest

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

no

62. Been arrested? For what?

no

63. Ever been in love? 

I’ve thought I was

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

8th grade, after school, our friends were spying, he over puckered, it wasn’t great haha

65. Are you hungry right now?

yes

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Tumblr friends are real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

yes

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

@red-lantern-jason-todd , Annette

71. Craving something? What?

sex

72. What colour are your towels?

I have a lot of different colored towels

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

1

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

no

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

maybe like 3?

75. Favourite animal?

cats

76. What colour is your underwear?

N/A

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Salted caramel

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

tan

80. What colour pants?

N/A

81. Favourite tv show?

Masterchef Junior

82. Favourite movie?

too many to choose from

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Gretchen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Dory

87. First person you talked to today?

woman from work

88. Last person you talked to today?

a different woman from work

89. Name a person you hate?

my step mother

90. Name a person you love?

@fivestarrejects

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

nah

92. In a fight with someone?

nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

4?

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

6

95. Last movie you watched?

No idea

96. Favourite actress?

Blake Lively

97. Favourite actor?

Chris Pratt

98. Do you tan a lot?

no

99. Have any pets?

2 cats

100. How are you feeling?

not bad

101. Do you type fast?

yes

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

nah. I learned from it

103. Can you spell well?

yes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

no

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

no

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes

108. What should you be doing?

cleaning

109. Is something irritating you right now?

nah

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yes

111. Do you have trust issues?

no

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my sister

113. What was your childhood nickname?

didn’t have one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

no

116. Are you listening to music right now?

no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

it’s ok

118. Do you like Chinese food?

yes

119. Favourite book?

Slaughterhouse Five

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

no

121. Are you mean?

only if you deserve it

122. Is cheating ever okay?

no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

yes

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

yes

125. Do you believe in true love?

yes

126. Are you currently bored?

yes

127. What makes you happy?

people

128. Would you change your name?

I’d change my last name

129. What your zodiac sign?

Scorpio

130. Do you like subway?

it’s good

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

talk to them about it

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

a bunch of these questions are repeats apparently

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

not sure if I’m honest

134. Can you count to one million?

if I tried

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“I accidentally asked him if he wanted to go to a nude beach with me”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

open

137. How tall are you?

5′4″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

wavy

139. Brunette or Blonde?

blonde

140. Summer or Winter?

summer

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

November

143. Are you a vegetarian?

hell no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

tea

146. Was today a good day?

it was

147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Now dear viewers, please take note of how she said ‘rude’ but not, and this is vital, ‘wrong’“ - @red-lantern-jason-todd

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

nah

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“Western culture id very divorced from the kind of society that existed in pre history”

Thanks

[theklancecollection]

Do you know any vampire Keith fics?? Preferably longer ones but short fics are good too

Hey there Anon!

Sorry, it took me so long to reply. There’s really no good explanation except... life, I guess?? I am getting back into the fandom though so here’s to hoping this blog gets more active.

Anyways, here are 39 fics I have found where Keith is a vampire. As always read at your own discretion. =)

Happy Reading!

Just Another Trashy Vampire Lovestory - official_klancetrash

Word Count: 1, 961 (and counting)

Summary: Let's be real here. You have been plagued with different adaptations of vampires your whole life. From the well known classic "Nosferatu" to the garbage you call "Twilight". So it's time to add another version to the list. Keith is your almost average teenager apart from the fact he's half vampire. When Keith turned 17 his vampire side started to take form. He began having odd cravings and gained odd powers randomly. When his adoptive mother gave him a letter from his mother left for him as a child he learns the shady truth behind his existence. After learning about his true nature he decides he needs to learn the craft of hunting or well blood hunting. When a classmate and friend of his (that he admires secretly) accidentally cuts himself in science class his thirst gets ten times worse. Can Keith hold back his cravings or will his inner demons take control? 

The vampire's house - Justtokeepreading

Word Count: 2, 704

Summary: Lance is a vampire hunter that wants to help them more than he wants to kill them.

Keith just wants to be left alone.

Long Lost Second Chance - pink_nymphia

Word Count: 71, 968 (and counting)

Summary: Lance is a vampire hunter. But one night, he meets a vampire who challenges what he knows about the monsters he hunts. Forming a relationship with Keith throws him into the gray reality that exists beneath the world’s black and white exterior. 

That's New - Silas_Writes

Word Count: 580

Summary: ANONYMOUS WHISPERED: Hallpween klance. A vampire and their (currently) mortal bf who has a biting kink 

beautiful thinking - ollyalexander

Word Count: 2, 191 (and counting)

Summary: There are worse things than being a fairy of the water, but Lance is starting to doubt it. Especially when a wounded vampire with a revolting haircut shows up on his doorstep, practically, and it becomes increasingly more difficult for Lance to lead the normal life he hates. This is especially evident when the vampire—Keith, that's his name, not Vampy—agrees to Lance's deal, and things go downhill. (Uphill, too, but it's rarer.)

— OR, everyone is supernatural. Keith wants to go home, and Lance is home but wishes he wasn't allowed to be.

What The Hell is a Vegetarian - MaddieLuvsyou

Word Count: 8, 743 (and counting)

Summary: Keith stared at the dark night sky, sucking his blood bag through the straw. He yawned and layed onto his back, glaring up at the stars.

"What a pain in the ass..." He grumbled.-Klance Vampire Au

Meet Me at Midnight - Outerspaceracecar

Word Count: 1, 206

Summary: Keith hasn't seen his boyfriend in weeks and as he stands perched in this tree, he can feel his anticipation growing. 

I'd fall for you - Lennibug

Word Count: 2, 372

Summary: Vampire! Keith and Painter! Lance teasing each other under the clouded October skies. 

Alluring ways - LimabeanTM

Word Count: 4, 835

Summary: "Ah yes, I'm Keith, did you need something?" The priest smiled and held out her hand. Fuck. If Keith touched that hand he might very well die. He awkwardly stared at it and looked back up at her. She didn't seem to be backing down, "Nothing at all, just want to introduce myself"

She knew, she had to, God did exist and was punishing Keith for existing. It wasn't like he was a baby and decided to be a vampire, he kinda was born with it. He looked to the door and the big guy and cute scrawny guy were right there, waiting. He gave his best smile and threw the cup across the room right over her head, the moment he heard it crash he bolted. He scrambled to the back door, and he heard shouting. The owner was probably some Vampire hunter for the church, Keith saw it all now. Why else was their no garlic at the bar? Or shading all along the building, and no cross above the door? How could he be so stupid?

One Killer Smile - girlskylark

Word Count: 9, 165

Summary: After getting blackout drunk at a club, Keith wakes up in Lance's bed, and realizes that Worse Case Scenarios are actually possible.

The last thing Keith ever expected to do was turn a human—that was the vampire equivalent of killing a man, but that might have been a better option in hindsight.

Daylight - Alex (mermaid_lance)

Word Count: 1, 711

Summary: After a lead on his brother's whereabouts takes him to a run down warehouse full of vampires, Keith gets transformed into a vampire himself. He drags Lance and Hunk into the chaos, and Pidge follows right along. 

Dehydration - joidessin

Word Count: 5, 704 (and counting)

Summary: Keith didn't know what he was going to do.

He hadn't exactly planned to leave Earth when he woke up that morning, but now that he had, he wasn't going back anytime soon either. Which was kind of a problem, for many reasons, but mostly because...

Keith was a vampire.

And he hadn't had a meal for a couple days already.

And no one on the ship knew about this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

In which Keith is a vampire, everyone is clueless, and Lance just wants to know if he can fly.

We Can Try It - vlo9089

Word Count:

Summary: Lance McClain is desperate for work so he resorts to being a feeder in a sketchy hotel

BUT, it's from Keith's POV.

We Wear Red (so they don't see us bleed) - DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

Word Count: 12, 589 (and counting)

Summary: “Why isn’t Pidge the Slayer?” 

“Yeah, if Pidge was the Slayer those vampires would have been slain.” “So slain.” “If Pidge was the Slayer we’d be getting lattes and binge-watching Mythbusters by now.” “Yeah. Vampires? Done. No problem.” “Why’s Lance the Slayer? It just seems really inefficient.” “Yeah, I can barely get my math homework in on time, this seems like a really poor choice on the part of Destiny.”

Lance didn't ask to be a teenage vampire slayer. Keith didn't ask to be a teenage vampire-with-a-soul. Shiro did ask to be a Watcher but he's seriously regretting it now.

His Pack - orphan_account

Word Count: 3, 491 (and counting)

Summary: Lance had only known Keith for a few minutes and he was already getting on the werewolf's nerves. Did this vampire always have to argue?

"You don't know what my clan is like. They would take pride in murdering you, especially with the pack you're from." Keith spat, eyes burning red with fury. Lance almost wanted to punch him.

But he didn't.

"I don't care what they're like. They killed my family.

I want revenge."

Beautiful Nightmare - artisamu

Word Count: 17, 785 (and counting)

Summary: Every night I rush to my bed 

With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance To see you when I close my eyes.

Lance and Hunk start their new lives at college. Lance meets his former rival, which causes all kinds of chaos to ensue.

Blood Kiss - plumeriafairy14

Word Count: 4, 115

Summary: Lance doesn't like the idea of his boyfriend bent over someone else's neck and he convinces his vampire Galra boyfriend that he's more than happy to help him through.

But Keith's feeding method is, well... let's just say that it's a special one only reserved for Lance.

Sangre - oreosteaks

Word Count: 4, 820 (and counting)

Summary: "You mosquito," Lance shouted, his face flushing red from anger. His hand shot up and clasped his hand over the bite marks.

Keith did a double take. "M-Mosquito? I'm a vampire, you ignor--"

"Blah, blah, blah. Shut up, you blood-sucking cockroach!"

"Oh, so I'm a cockroach now?"

(Keith is a vampire AU)

Witch Cops - TheJollyPiplup

Word Count: 8, 445 (and counting)

Summary: After an accident, 17 year old Lance McClain finds out that he is an Altean, an elite group of Witches and Wizards warriors with the goal of protecting humanity from the supernatural. With his memories of his past life erased, Lance and his new teammates are ready to fight whatever comes their way! Besides, it's not like his past life was any more interesting? Right?

Otherwise known as: the Shadowhunters AU that no one asked for

Vamp - ihaveacleverfandomurl

Word Count: 3, 560

Summary: Lance felt the vampire’s lips first, mouthing over his skin, a touch of tongue sliding over his collarbone. He shuddered at the cold, screwing his eyes shut. The sting of fangs biting into him jolted him, tensing as the pain traveled up and down his body. One hand clenched at the sheets, the other at the man’s back, blunt nails digging in. 

prisoner - orphan_account

Word Count: 997

Summary: Lance glares at him, the hate evident in his eyes. "Keith."

In response, Keith smiles, barring all his teeth, including his fangs. "Lancelot."

Vampire!Keith AU

Deserving (original) - lancemccry

Word Count: 2, 160

Summary: "Keith lunged at Lance, his hands outstretched as if to grab Lance’s shoulders. His body made contact with Lance’s, and suddenly Keith was being swung around. Something hard and metal slammed into Keith’s hip, pain exploding up his spine. Keith tumbled into the open doorway, rolling down a couple of stairs. Shocked noises sprung from Keith’s mouth as he struggled to get up. The air was damp in the cellar, and he coughed on the mold hugging the walls. Keith choked on blood in his throat, and he peered up at Lance standing in the doorway.

“Filthy rat.” Lance spat, saliva hitting Keith’s face. Lance was backlit by the house lights, and the pouring rain splashed down around him."-Keith is a vampire, and all he really wants is Lance's blood.

Delicacy - Diamondisbackbitch

Word Count: 694

Summary: Lance is a tribute, part of the remaining population of humans, regularly taken by vampires as a food source or sometimes as pets. Humans are such fun creatures, after all, susceptible to simple praise and physical pleasure.

Keith just wanted dinner, but finds himself strangely interested in his monthly tribute.

Bliss - vlo9089

Word Count: 1, 881

Summary: Keith makes huge mistakes with his awful communication skills and almost ruins his relationship.

Lance's POV though.

one more off key anthem (let your teeth sink in) - maryams

Word Count: 2, 926

Summary: Keith sucks at being a vampire and Lance is going to hell. Nothing strange here.

or, supernatural boyfriends go shopping and are confounded by The Gayness™.

Sit, Boy - mulletpaladin

Word Count: 1, 091

Summary: “Sit boy,” the vampire commanded which Lance eagerly followed, his arms hanging from the chains attached securely to the bed. “I’m going to ride you all night long.”

-

My first smut, enjoy!

The Last of a Dying Breed - caimani

Word Count: 8, 998 (and counting)

Summary: Keith is a vampire, Lance is a werewolf, and the Bonding Moment is a universal constant. Based on redvioletz's art. 

A Thousand Years - SnowFairies1030

Word Count: 922

Summary: I've loved you for a thousand years and I'll love you for a thousand more 

but we have monsters inside of us - pinklesbian

Word Count: 2, 752

Summary: how long can keith kogane keep a very big secret from his oblivious boyfriend 

On A Midnight Clear - UselessReptile

Word Count: 17, 217 (and counting)

Summary: Keith does not want to do this, he does not want to go live with wolves! But he must in order to preserve peace between the coven and the pack next door. How will he survive? 

bite me (there’s a snake in my boot) - ljghtswood

Word Count: 4, 529

Summary: “But Lance! Doesn’t Keef have to dress up too? Where’s his costume?”

“Wow you’re right!” Lance rummages through his closet. He finds the outfit he wore for halloween the year before and holds it up saying, “Is this okay?”

Keith inwardly groans. Out of all the costumes Lance probably had, lance was making him go as a vampire?! He just gives him a you’ve got to be kidding me look.

Lance shrugs his shoulders. “Hey, it’s not my fault you have the complexion of a porcelain doll.” Plus, he thought, you’d make a hot vampire. Of course he’d never admit that out loud. Keith was still oblivious to his crush, and he planned to keep it that way. It was obvious he didn’t feel the same.

Just Trust Me - lakeshark

Word Count: 10, 793 (and counting)

Summary: “Gee, why wouldn't anyone willingly volunteer to house strangers who transform into wolves but can’t control it yet?” Keith replied sarcastically. There was a long pause where he could practically hear Shiro pouting. He sighed deeply, “Ok fine.” Keith really couldn't refuse the guy a favor if he tried. He just hoped that this wouldn’t end up drastically changing his lifestyle somehow. 

knew from the first - xintong

Word Count: 36, 098 (and counting)

Summary: When Pidge mentions one day that they think their brother is dating a vampire, Lance just laughs it off. The last year of high school may be full of surprises and obstacles, from college dance auditions to senior prom, but vampires are definitely not part of it, Lance is sure of that.

Funny how the universe bites back at him to prove him wrong.

Scarves of Red - Sheksper

Word Count: 29, 981 (and counting)

Summary: Lance is an overlooked and bullied high school student who can't wait to graduate so he can start over again in a new town. Everything changes for him when he meets his new neighbour, the mysterious Keith. They slowly form a close bond, and it soon becomes apparent that there's something off about Keith. Eventually, Lance finds out Keith's macabre secret, unravelling the mystery behind the string of bloody local murders. 

like a fine wine - shipperbitch

Word Count: 3, 625

Summary: Keith is so fucking hungry. It's lucky that Lance lives just a few floors down. 

Bite Me Like That - SageOrijima

Word Count: 270

Summary: Title makes it sound so much worse than it is, this is just two dorks making out 

When wound's are the start. - theospeaks

Word Count: 6, 146 (and counting)

Summary: When Keith's new family insist on him going to public school he finds his new abilities are the least of his worries, as Lance is now all he has on his mind. The boy with the good looks, smooth skin, and sweet scent. Keith could just eat him up. 

You and I - Three-chan (Techno_Zav)

Word Count: 1, 018

Summary: ''I don't care,'' Lance said, putting his hands on his hips and his heart on the table. ''I could never live without you.''

Basically, after fooling around on a generator for awful romance fics, I came upon a short drabble that I just couldn't leave alone.After changing pronouns, adding my artistic flair, toning down the cheese just a little bit, and adding on, here we are.

bloodstream - katsmovingcastle

Word Count: 16, 469 (and counting)

Summary: “Why were you searching for me, Lance?” Keith asks then, and that takes Lance by surprise, and he settles his hands on his knees, looking somewhere behind him before meeting his own eyes again.

“I was assigned a mission to find you, and I knew you were going to be here because I’ve been watching you, for the past few weeks,” Lance says, and Keith looks at him with another soft laugh falling from his lips, seemingly out of his control.

“Did you like what you found?” He asks then, and Lance gives him a slow to grow, genuine grin.

“I very much do, Keith Kogane.”

[maryqueenofmurder]

season 5 edition, basically

Thoughts on naruto p2!!! Spoiler warning, and don’t put spoilers in the comments.

23.  NOOOOOOOOOOO don’t betray your friends for unimaginable power from a guy who can’t even use his own arms! (not to be ableist, it’s an inside joke between me and my sister)

24.  At first I didn’t understand why everybody in the show was so certain Sasuke was the victim when he clearly willingly went with them, and like half a season later I realized he probably doesn’t have good enough emotional control to keep the curse mark from spreading and killing him.

25.  Most of this season takes place over a couple of days and one overarching fight.  Like sure, it’s mostly tracking and running and not a lot of actual fighting, but it really is one battle.

26.  The ninja power level is so messed up.  “Elite Jonin”  nearly got taken out by a bunch of genins.  Though the sand village genins were pretty strong.

27.  Why are all the characters in this show so attractive?  Is it the art style?

28.  Tsunadae telling Gai that Rock Lee’s surgery went well so he can start training tomorrow even though he should rest for longer and immediately being interrupted by the nurses who say that Rock Lee ran away when I saw him last episode fighting an opponent that Naruto couldn’t even hit.

29.  Kimimaru trying to fight a drunk child and losing.  Well, at first.

30.  Gaara making a reappearance!!!  He’s kinda op though.

31.  Orochimaru’s finest getting beat up by one (1) sand genin and a genin who recently got out of the hospital and spent half the fight drunk.

32.  Rock Lee had some guts to stop a battle MID-FIGHT and say that he had to take his medicine.

33.  The villains all have such compelling backstories and I want them to win now.

34.  A running theme I’ve noticed in Naruto, is a reason for a person’s existence.  The first time it’s really mentioned is with Gaara.  But since then, it’s shown a lot more obviously.  Gaara compares the look in his eyes to Sasuke’s.  Naruto is scared of Gaara because he’s felt the same way.  Gaara is what Naruto could’ve been, and it terrifies him.  Gaara later compares the look in Sasuke’s eyes to the look in Kimimaru’s eyes.  Kimimaru is at the time explaining that the reason for his existence is to make Orochimaru’s dreams and ambitions come true.

35.  Sasuke went from insult (affectionate) to insult (derogatory).

36.  You know when they first got on top of those statues I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be funny if somebody got yeeted off the waterfall.  And Naruto was!

37.  It’s really hard to watch the episodes where Sasuke loses his way.  It hurts.

38.  Sasuke’s got the metal wire in his mouth, lol.

39.  We got wholesome Sasuke + Itachi moments, but at what cost?  I had a whole thing here about timelines but I just realized it was inaccurate.  Whoops?

40.  The whole speech about dreams + the future really hit me in the feels.

41.  Sasuke stop trying to kill your ex-friends 2k21 challenge.

42.  Throughout their entire interaction, Naruto sounds like he’s going to cry.

43.  STOP LETTING HIM PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.

44.  Naruto bruised his knuckles on Sasuke.

45.  The thumbnail for this episode??? Is literally Naruto straddling Sasuke??? Why that???

46.  Stop betraying your friends for power,,,, I miss u,,,,

47.  Hearing Sasuke be compared to his older brother really hits hard.  I didn’t think it really mattered until I remembered the insecurities I have because of my younger sister, who gets better grades than I did/do, is further ahead in her studies relative to her age than me, and is better at drawing than me.  Plus, comparing siblings like that just isn’t something you should do.

48.  Is Sasuke… becoming his brother?

49.  Back when Kakashi was still in a coma from fighting Itachi it showed him having two pictures.  He looks like a disgruntled cat.  Or somebody who just woke up from a nap.

50.  I’m starting to realize I have trouble telling Sasuke in the past from Sasuke in the present.  It just makes his entire backstory even sadder to realize that Itachi forced him to rewatch the deaths of his family when he was a kid when I had previously thought it was when he was a genin and teenager. (which is still messed up, fyi)

51.  SASUKE STOP TRYING TO KILL YOUR EX-FRIENDS 2K21 CHALLENGE.

52.  Even as a child, Sasuke never bothered to get discharged.  He just leaves when he wants.

53.  …And now he’s disturbing a crime scene.

54.  Naruto be like: *beats you up because he cares.*

55.  I’m extremely happy by the implications that Sasuke refused to kill Naruto.  Not couldn’t, or thought he was dead, but chose not to.

[calleditwhatitwas]

rules - answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people.

I was tagged by @poetmendes​ and @honeyyshawn​​ (*heart eyes at you guys* )

- what was your last…

1) drink - pomegranate juice

2) phone call - a girl from school for a team project

3) text message - my dad

4) song you listened to - I’ve literally only been listening to The Weeknd’s new E.P since it came out

5) time you cried - probably in the last month

- have you ever…

6) dated someone twice? - nope

7) kissed someone and regretted it? not really I don’t think

8) been cheated on? - kinda, my ex stayed with me until he was sure that the other girl he was interested in was willing to date him. I think cheating isn’t always necessarily physical, so.

9) lost someone special? - yep

10) been depressed? also yes, i was extremely depressive from age 13-16 and was on antidepressants and everything

11) gotten drunk and thrown up? - i totally did but I didn’t throw up because of the drinking per say, it was the 45 minutes highway car ride after the party that killed me

- fave colours

12) pale pink

13) white

14) black

- in the last year have you…

15) made new friends? - a few

16) fallen out of love? - i like to think i have, now.

17) laughed until you cried? - i literally always cry when i laugh it’s a curse

18) found out someone was talking about you? - yeah but it actually wasn’t in a bad way this time which makes me feel real good :)

19) met someone who changed you? - kind of?

20) found out who your friends are?-  a little, yeah. break ups sure have a way of revealing who your true friends are

21) kissed someone on your facebook friends list? - yep, my ex

22) how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? - most, probably

23) do you have any pets? - i have a lil doggy his name is stitch and he’s a shi tsu!!!

24) do you want to change your name? - not really

25) what did you do for your last birthday? - my boyfriend made me this three course meal and it was great bc the way to my heart is through my stomach

26) what time did you wake up today? 6am, sad face

27) what were you doing at midnight last night? - i was on tumblr as usual

28) what is something you can’t wait for? - all i do is wait for things. i can’t wait for university to meet new people (AKA HOT BOYS), i can’t wait to get out of uni and work in a field i love, i can’t wait to meet someone who isn’t gonna fuck me over and love me and treat me the way I deserve to, etc. etc.

29) what is your favourite animal? - dogs for sure

30) what are you listening to rn? - privilege by the weeknd

31) have you ever talked to a person named tom? - nope

32) something that’s getting on your nerves - everything. everything gets on my nerves

33) most visited website - google?

34) hair colour - my natural hair color is brown but i dye it and right now it’s a very very dark brown

35) long or short hair? - medium short I’d say

36) do you have a crush on someone? - does shawn mendes count

37) what do you like about yourself? - i like that i’m such a transparent person, in the way that i’m very honest about myself and to others. i also like how resilient i am 

38) want any piercings? - YES i have a whole vision for my future ear piercings and i’m super excited but that shit is expensive as hell

39) blood type - O+

40) nicknames - ju, juju

41) relationship status - single af

42) sign - libra!!!

43) pronouns - she/her

44) fave tv show - i love love love jane the virgin and was super into the vampire diaries back when it was a thing (like this tumblr was previously a tvd blog no kidding and 99% of my followers are tvd blogs still lmao)

45) tattoos - i had one when i was 16 which i don’t regret at all, i just wish i had spent more time choosing where i wanted to put it on my body because now that i want another one in the same place it kind of fucks it up

46) right or left handed - right

47) ever had a surgery? - yup, broke my foot a few years ago

48) piercings - i have the two usual lobe piercings and i have a conch piercing in my left ear but i’m planning to have like five more!!!

49) sport - i played soccer and ringette all of my life, but i practically tried every one there is, i was a very sporty kid

50) vacation - i’ve been to portugal to visit family but i really want to go to scandinavian countries and basically europe in general

51) trainers - pink vans

- more general

52) eating - i love pasta with a passion and anything with carbs basically

53) drinking - i love iced tea and also mcdonald’s iced coffee but i’m also really big on water like i can’t go two hours without drinking water

54) i’m about to watch - the client list

55) waiting for - a shit ton of things

56) want - shawn mendes to love me unconditionnally tbh

57) get married - yes

58) career - i’m going to uni in psychoeducation 

59) hugs or kisses - i like hugs a little more

60) lips or eyes - eyes!!

61) taller or shorter - i'm 5′’3 so there is no guy that’s shorter than me lol

62) older or younger - older, i need some fucking emotional MATURITY

63) nice arms or stomach - arms, but tbh i don’t mind a little chub, i’m chubby myself 

64) hookups or relationships - i’m a relationship hoe my baby ass literally can’t hook up with a stranger but i wish i wasn’t such a baby so badly

65) troublemaker or hesitant - my libra ass is BOTH

66) kissed a stranger - nope

67) drank hard liquor - i have

68) turned someone down - it happened 

69) sex on first date - my baby ass cannot. my baby ass literally can’t even go on a date with a stranger, let alone fuck one

70) broken someone’s heart - i have, i think.

71) had your heart broken - definitely. other than by my ex, i break my own heart like a champ all on my own

72) been arrested - nope

73) cried when someone died - i always cry in movies and tv shows when someone dies

74) fallen for a friend - no

- do you believe in

75) yourself - fuck i TRY

76) miracles - realistically i don’t they exist, but i sure wish they do

77) love at first sight - yes and no

78) santa claus - ?? no ??

79) angels - not really but kinda?

80) eye colour - dark brown

81) best friends’ name - joëlle

82) favourite movie - oh girl i can’t keep track of my favorite movies, like i love a shit ton of them but i never made a list out of them

83) favourite actor - the only one i think on top of my head rn is my favorite chick flic actor, which 100% is gerard butler he’s so hot don’t fight me on this

84) favourite cartoon - sponge bob?

85) favourite teacher’s name - last time i cared enough to have a favorite teacher was in middle school tbh

[ladyknight1512]

I don't normally do these sorts of things but I've had a long day and I'm in the mood to answer some questions. I'm not doing it ask-style, though, I'm just gonna answer them because I love me a questionnaire. There are a ton, so most of them are under the cut. I found the questions here.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I’m not a cereal eater these days because milk doesn’t really agree with me and I don’t like soy. Back in the day, though, it was always more cereal than milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Not especially but I don’t dislike it either. It’s one of those things I just don’t think about.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I collect bookmarks so I usually just use those. I did use a wedding invitation a few weeks ago, though.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Tea-wise, I only drink peppermint, so that’s just a teabag and water. For coffee: if it’s just instant at home, I go two sugars and a dash of milk.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Yeah, because I’m pretty sure my eyes are different sizes - they’re definitely not the same anyway - so if I do one of those excited grins, my right eye scrunches up in a weird way that the left eye doesn’t and I hate it.

6: do you keep plants?

I keep a plant. It was a wedding favour from a wedding I went to at the end of October. It’s a succulent and I’m pleased to report that it’s still alive.

7: do you name your plants?

Nope.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Writing. It’s the only one I’m good at.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

I’m constantly singing or humming to myself, which is weird, because tuneless humming is the worst noise in the world for me.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Side, usually.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

“Now kiss.” - @tansy-c​

12: what's your favorite planet?

I’ve always been drawn to Jupiter - I’m a Sagittarius so maybe that’s why.

13: what's something that made you smile today?

My cat when she did one of those half-flops so she was half on her side and half on her back with her two front paws hanging in the air. She’s the cutest, ok?

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Books everywhere. Comfy chairs. And I would bring a shit ton of merch with me so she’d just have to deal with that.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Apparently, the sun makes a full rotation once every 25-35 days. And there I was thinking that the sun just hangs there doing nothing.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

Spaghetti bolognese. Classic.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I’ve always wanted to go blonde but my hair is pretty dark and it would be too much work to maintain for my lazy arse.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Can’t think of anything with my friends but when I was 12 I said in front of my whole class that James Cook first came to Australia in 1901. Which was only about 200 years off.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

Nah. I had one in my early teens but it was full of the same teenage angst as everyone else’s and now I can’t be bothered.

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Blue or green.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I’m not really a bag person (shoes, though...). I just have a massive black one with a patch of furry leopard print on the front. It fits all my everyday stuff: book, notebook, 65 pens, water bottle, phone, charger, wallet, sunnies. You know, the basics.

22: are you a morning person?

No.

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

AO3. Just fic after fic. Also food.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

My bff. I’ve told her many a thing while drunk; she probably knows more about me than I realise she does.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

...I’ve never broken into anywhere.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

I have more than 20 pairs of shoes at last count. The only ones I wear regularly are just my black ballet flats because they’re useful for everyday wear.

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Grape.

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset (sunrise is too early).

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

My bff while drunk is pretty adorable because she forgets that there are some things she probably shouldn’t say out loud.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Yes, twice.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I hate socks. They’re ugly and they feel weird. I would rather have freezing feet than wear socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

I’m actually a 90-year-old granny on the inside so I’m never out later than 12am.

33: what's your fave pastry?

I mean ... is any pastry really bad? I’ll eat any and all pastries but I am fond of a blueberry Danish.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I got a stuffed Babar for my third birthday and I still have him today. His crown is pretty much non-existant and his trunk is bent to the left because I used to carry him around by it. And my cousin ripped his arms off once and my grandma had to sew them back on. But otherwise, he’s looking pretty good for his age.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I am an editor. Loving stationary is in my DNA. There is no feeling better than opening a new notebook and starting to write with a brand new pen.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

Something quiet and mellow. Maybe a slow Reba McEntire song.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

It’s currently half and half. I was in the middle of a massive clean out when I got spectacularly busy with work so I just sort of dumped all the stuff I hadn’t got to wherever it fit. I’m looking forward to getting back to them. I’m aiming to be cleaner.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Humming, as mentioned above. People who don’t signal when they turn or change lanes. Slow walkers! Someone save me from slow walkers. People who don’t know how to properly use the tools and programs their job requires.

39: what color do you wear the most?

Blue, but no particular shade.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

For my 21st birthday my mum bought me a love heart pendant with diamonds in it. I’ve worn it every single day since.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

‘Kings Rising’ by C.S. Pacat. I’m sure there have been more recent ones, but that was my automatic response.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I’m not one to sit in a coffee shop usually. I do catch ups with my bff at a Gloria Jeans but we only go there because it’s halfway between each of our houses, not because of the atmosphere. They recently redecorated the place, so the seats are new and comfier now.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Probably my brother, but that was when we were kids.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

I ... don’t remember ever feeling that. My brain is hard to stop. There’s always something to think about.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Yeah, usually, but they often align with my head so that helps.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

Some aquatic mammals escaped from the zoo. It was otter chaos.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Artichokes. Blegh.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I was pretty scared of spiders as a kid. Still scared of them. Needles (as in injections and vaccinations) give me panic attacks, though.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I do because I’m old school like that. These days I’m only trying to buy physical copies of things I absolutely love. The last CD I bought was ‘Flicker’ by Niall Horan.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

I collect bookmarks. Not sure if that’s odd, though.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Every time I hear ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran now I think of my high school best friend, because it was her first dance song at her wedding (the one I got the plant from).

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

I like the one of the guy looking over his shoulder at his girlfriend looking at him in horror.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I’ve seen Rocky Horror but that was years ago and I don’t think I remember enough to comment. The songs are good. Who doesn’t love the Time Warp?

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

My aunt, when her mum died.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

Probably Googled. Not dramatic, but it’s the easiest way to prove things these days.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

Just really cute things they do, especially if they’re not typical of their age.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

I always start grinning like a lunatic when I Bohemian Rhapsody starts. And yeah, dramatic reenactments are a must. It often makes me think of Glee, though, because it was used in Season 1 when Quinn gives birth to Beth.

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Honestly, I’m probably the vodka aunt. I have no class when I drink, because I try really hard to stay classy.

59: what's your favorite myth?

I always liked the one about Hades and Persephone.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I’m not a huge reader of poetry but I want to read more. I’ve always really like the Romantic poets. My absolute favourite poem is ‘The Lady of Shalot’ by Tennyson. I first read it in my early teens and I’ve read it a number of times since then, and what I love is how my reaction to it has changed as I’ve aged. When I first read it, I thought it was incredibly romantic. Now I think it’s unbearably sad.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

One year, for the work Kris Kringle, I gave someone a dragon statue. But not a straight-up good one; it was cheap and trying so hard to look good that it was pretty ugly. In fact, it was so bad, that it came back around to being cool again. I don’t think I’ve ever received a stupid present. If I have, I’ve blocked it from my memory.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

No, but orange is my juice of choice.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

I’m in a constant state of wanting to reorganise my books by genre but there are so many and I have so little time that they just stay where they are. But at least I know where they all are so I guess in that way they’re organised.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Very pale blue, because the sun is so bright it’s basically white.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

Some old work friends because I haven’t seen them since I started working from home.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Something delicate, because my head is small, but vibrant in colour.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Lazy. They make me want to sit around and just do nothing.

68: what's winter like where you live?

Pretty wet, in recent years, but it doesn’t get crazy cold. I think the coldest it usually gets during the day is about 10-12 Celsius.

69: what are your favorite board games?

We have this game called Talisman, which I love because you can play as different characters and you get different abilities and different positives and negatives depending on what you play.

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

No.

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

Peppermint.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

I’m a chronic note-taker but my memory is generally pretty good. I was one of those kids who never had to study to get As because I just always remembered stuff.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

I’m a terrible procrastinator.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

Kooky and fun, and always creative and thinking outside the box. They’re extremely loyal and hates saying no, even to a situation they have put themselves in.

75: tell us about your pets!

Her name is Lizzy (yes, as in Bennet). She’s a cat. She’s just turned 3. She’s a grey tabby with white and caramel bits. She’s super inquisitive and not scared of anything (except loud cars and the vacuum), sometimes to her detriment. She is the cutest cat in the world. She likes cuddles, but only on her terms. Under-the-chin scritches are her favourite kind of scritches. She loves to play and run around. Her favourite toy is a little horse that was actually mine (it was a Christmas gift when I was about 7); I gave it to her as a kitten to distract her when she was being naughty and then she adopted it. We’re convinced that she was the bully of her litter.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

I probably could have been doing some more work when I started this but now it’s after 6pm and my day has ended.

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Neither?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

The Indifferent Club but edging towards Hate now.

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

My bff crocheted me a Babar for my birthday last year. That was pretty awesome.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Ugh. They’re baby pink because that’s the colour they were when I was born. Repainting is too much effort because my furniture is too bulky to move. The colour is the reason my parents decided this would be my room, which is totally unfair because it’s the smallest bedroom by a mile and I’m the oldest.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Geez, that’s too much effort for this late in the day. I dunno. Brown, like tea-stained water?

82: are/were you good in school?

I was. Academics have always come naturally to me.

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

I have no idea. I don’t really pay that much attention to it.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

I would love a tattoo - I know where and what it would - but the needle-phobia is standing in my way.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

I don’t read them, but C.S. Pacat has just started releasing a series of comics and she’s maybe my favourite author so I’m reading them.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

Sure, because as a writer, I love things to have a theme. But I don’t think I own any.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Harry Potter, obviously, and ‘A Single Man’.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

I really like Impressionism and Romanticism

89: are you close to your parents?

To my mum, I guess, but there are definitely things I know I would never tell her, even though I’ve told my bff. My dad annoys me most of the time. My bff says it’s because we’re too similiar but I don’t like thinking about that.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I’ve lived in Melbourne my whole life and it’s a pretty good place to live, all things considered. I love that’s it’s cultural and academic and more intellectual than, say, Sydney. Also, great coffee and food.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

Nowhere.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Drown in cheese, every time.

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

My hair is pretty long right now and it’s super annoying and it’s hot so I’ve been doing one of those half-ponytail things, where you just do a ponytail but don’t pull it all the way through the last time.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

One of my friends who I went to uni with, and he helped get me my first job in publishing and we’ve worked together a lot over the years. We’ve known each other for 10 years.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

It’s my birthday this weekend so that’s happening. I’m hanging out with some friends on Saturday and then I’ll be working on Sunday.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I usually just do them quickly to get them out of the way.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

The last test I took said I’m an ISTP; Sagittarius; Ravenclaw.

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

I was 14, on a school camp. No.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

‘She Used to Be Mine’ by Sara Bareilles. ‘You Will Be Found’ from Dear Evan Hansen.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

The future, because the past is somewhere I’ve already been and there’s no point in going back.

[shelbymadden14]

1-200

200: My crush’s name is: chanel 💚

199: I was born in: joplin mo

198: I am really: gay

197: My cellphone company is: verizon

196: My eye color is: hazel

195: My shoe size is: 9....in men’s

194: My ring size is: depends on the finger but 8 on my ring finger

193: My height is: 5.7

192: I am allergic to: cats & mildew

191: My 1st car was: 94 camaro

190: My 1st job was: at the hit zone

189: Last book you read: love her wild

188: My bed is: big af

187: My pet: my boom baby

186: My best friend: boom baby duh

185: My favorite shampoo is: pantene

184: Xbox or ps3: ps4

183: Piggy banks are: not in my vocabulary because i’m broke

182: In my pockets: boxers on sooo no pockets

181: On my calendar: lots of appointments & hopefully a date 😏

180: Marriage is: beautiful!

179: Spongebob can: get dis

178: My mom: is a beautiful soul

177: The last three songs I bought were? upset-lauren sanderson, billies album, jocelyn flores-XXX

176: Last YouTube video watched: jeffree star 😅

175: How many cousins do you have? too many to count

174: Do you have any siblings? yes 2

173: Are your parents divorced? nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? yes

171: Do you play an instrument? drums

170: What did you do yesterday? laundry & watched true blood

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: depends on the day

165: Aliens: yes

164: Heaven: yes

163: Hell: yes

162: God: yes

161: Horoscopes: yes

160: Soul mates: duh

159: Ghosts: oh yeah

158: Gay Marriage: nope

157: War: ehh no

156: Orbs: yesh

155: Magic: living & breathing & the way the body works is magic so yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: kisses

153: Drunk or High: high

152: Phone or Online: phone

151: Red heads or Black haired: red heads i mean cmon

150: Blondes or Brunettes: recently changed to blondes & for good reason

149: Hot or cold: hot

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: day

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdanks

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate baby

140: Mac or PC: mac

139: Flip flops or high heals: neither

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet & poor

137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: obama

135: Burried or cremated: both?

134: Singing or Dancing: dancing

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel 😅😂😏💚

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: no

131: Small town or Big city: big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target: walmart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam

128: Manicure or Pedicure: pedicure

127: East Coast or West Coast: east

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday

125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags: six flags

123: Yankees or Red Sox: cardinals

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: no

121: George Bush: who is he? jk.

120: Gay Marriage: i think it’s gay

119: The presidential election: also gay

118: Abortion: pro choice

117: MySpace: middle school

116: Reality TV: dumb

115: Parents: they are good folk

114: Back stabbers: they stab backs. hoes.

113: Ebay: i sold a bat on here once & it was so much work

112: Facebook: slowly becoming obsolete in my life

111: Work: necessary

110: My Neighbors: the one who called the cops on me? she bad

109: Gas Prices: low thank the lord. knock on wood.

108: Designer Clothes: who cares

107: College: also necessary

106: Sports: i only really care about softball

105: My family: the madden’s are wild man

104: The future: looks pretty good 😏

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: uhmmm like the end of october ;(

102: Last time you ate: at 7

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: uhm on ft with a bud the other day

100: Cried in front of someone: in my kitchen with my momma

99: Went to a movie theater: when chanel & i went to see hustlers

98: Took a vacation: junior year of hs

97: Swam in a pool: TOO long ago ;(

96: Changed a diaper: over a year ago

95: Got my nails done: never

94: Went to a wedding: probably like 2 years ago

93: Broke a bone: 6th grade

92: Got a peircing: 3 years ago

91: Broke the law: uh i was speeding ;(

90: Texted: just a minute ago

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: that’s a toss up. i surround myself with laughter

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my boom boy

87: The last movie I saw: do i have to watch it to count it? coraline

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: seeing my lil baby

85: The thing im not looking forward to: chelsey moving out ;(

84: People call me: shelby, shelb, shlub, bub, sheldon

83: The most difficult thing to do is: not overthink

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: like 2 times 😅

81: My zodiac sign is: aquarius

80: The first person i talked to today was: my favorite girl, chanel.

79: First time you had a crush: uhmmm 6th grade? who knows.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: i would say chanel. she’s like a human lie detector.

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: chanel & i do this shit all the time it’s freaky.

76: Right now I am talking to: like having a conversation with someone? everyone is asleep i believe

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: wait i’m not grown? crap.

74: I have/will get a job: i am a sub but i’d like to venture out a little

73: Tomorrow: i’m going to work out

72: Today: i’m about to crash

71: Next Summer: i’d like to be in a pool or in the sun a lot

70: Next Weekend: i couldn’t tell ya.

69: I have these pets: boomer & xeno

68: The worst sound in the world: my alarm

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my dad

66: People that make you happy: my family, my baby & my friends

65: Last time I cried: uhhh couple days ago

64: My friends are: savannah, meg, aleigh, shelby, alex & lots more

63: My computer is: non existent

62: My School: nada at the moment

61: My Car: little dented 😂

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat on people mentally or physically

59: The movie I cried at was: oh shoot. i don’t do sad movies so i couldn’t tell you. but anytime an old person is sad i cry

58: Your hair color is: strawberry blonde

57: TV shows you watch: way too many to name but i’m on true blood right now

56: Favorite web site: pornhub

55: Your dream vacation: i want to go to italy

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: uhmmm i guess shoulder surgery? it wasn’t too awful

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare

52: My room is: clean & gray

51: My favorite celebrity is: emma stone or jennifer lawrence 😏

50: Where would you like to be: anywhere with you 😏💚

49: Do you want children: yes!

48: Ever been in love: i am sooo yes

47: Who’s your best friend: i have three. savannah, meg & aleigh.

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when boom cuddles me

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: hmmm my nanny wheeler 💕

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: yes! don’t die.

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ope. no but i should

41: Have you pre-named your children: yes

40: Last person I got mad at: uhmmm i hardly get mad but probably a sibling

39: I would like to move to: springfield

38: I wish I was a professional: softball player

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: orbit gun

36: Vehicle: nissan xterra

35: President: i could give a shit less

34: State visited: florida

33: Cellphone provider: verizon at the moment

32: Athlete: does lauren chamberlain count even though she’s retired?

31: Actor:ryan reynolds

30: Actress: his wife 😏

29: Singer: billie duh

28: Band: oh boy. uhm. coldplay

27: Clothing store: nike outlet or ross 😂

26: Grocery store: one with groceries

25: TV show: all time favorite? probably PLL

24: Movie: matilda

23: Website: again, pornhub. jk i couldn’t tell you.

22: Animal: elephant

21: Theme park: haven’t been to many soooo idk

20: Holiday: christmas or halloween

19: Sport to watch: softball

18: Sport to play: softball

17: Magazine: i don’t read them

16: Book: favorite book would be love her wild

15: Day of the week: friday

14: Beach: cancun mexico

13: Concert attended: ive been to shitty ones so negative

12: Thing to cook: pasta

11: Food: pasta

10: Restaurant: jap steak

9: Radio station: spotify 😂

8: Yankee candle scent: linen 😂

7: Perfume: cologne/chrome azarro

6: Flower: lillies

5: Color: purple

4: Talk show host: jimmy fallon

3: Comedian: ellen

2: Dog breed: yorkie but boom is my favorite

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yes

[cuidabeja]

Rules: answer 67 truths and tag 25 people I was tagged by myboy @squidiosyncrasies, dankeschoen

🍒LAST🍒 1. Drink - Chai latte 2. Phone Call - I had to tell my boss where I volunteer that I was going to be late because of work work 3. Text Message - “Did it go ok today? Are you ok?” 4. Song You Listened To - it was a while ago, lemme check . . . Oh Jeez it was “This Way That” from Mario Party 2? 5. Time I Cried - I think it was when we were in New Mexico, I started crying when I was trying to sleep but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. It seems I never cry when I have a clear reason to

🍒HAVE YOU EVER🍒 6. Dated Someone Twice - Not really possible but also no 7. Been Cheated On - No 8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It - I want to say no but yes but also no 9. Lost Someone Special - Yeah, but I never knew him. 10. Been Depressed - I’m not sure. Maybe last spring but there was a lot that could be 11. Been Drunk And Thrown Up - No. I’ve had opportunities to, but I just can’t palate the stuff

🍒IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU🍒 12. Made A New Friend - Even in the last few weeks 13. Fallen Out Of Love - yes 14. Laughed Until You Cried - I do this monthly, though recently there was a particularly good one 15. Met Someone Who Changed You - Probably 16. Found Out Who Your True Friends Were - I feel like this is about betrayal? No 17. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You - see this is high drama and I don’t do that

🍒GENERAL🍒 18. How Many People On Tumblr Do You Know In Real Life - Uhhhhhhhhh . . . I can think of like six off the tippy top of my head but I know it’s more than that 19. Do You Have Any Pets - Cat, two dogs, blind deaf dumb old man/professional dirtbag, a bunch of very very old chickens, and many bees 20. Do You Want To Change Your Name - Yeah I had a good effort going back in November what with me sharing a name with our garbage president and all, but I just can’t rebrand like that 21. What Time Did You Wake Up This Morning - 3:15, because I had work at 4 AM  22. What Were You Doing Last Night - cuddling my bifriend 23. Name Something You Cannot Wait For - I can only think of one thing and it’s not something I’d like to publicly state 24. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom - You mean my uncle? yes 25. What’s Getting On Your Nerves Right Now - I’m very conflicted about work, because it’s great and I like it but also I need a nap. It’ll be better after a good night’s sleep 26. Blood Type - AB+ if I recall 27. Nickname - Don, a guy at work calls me Donnie because there’s a different guy named Donnie and he likes to mess with me . . . . “Gay Nerd” 28. Relationship Status - Living in a powderkeg and giving off sparks 29. Zodiac Sign - Taurus 30. Pronouns - He/him 31. Favorite TV Show - I wanna default to saying Star Trek Voyager, but I also want to say Stargate SG1 because it’s been so long 32. College - College 33. Hair Color - Dark Brown 34. Do You Have A Crush On someone - outside of my boyfriend, I don’t think so? Maybe. Even if I did I’m not ready for something else and also it’d be weird dating a dude I work with 35. What Do You Like About Yourself - I know what I like and I make myself laugh using the garbage I collect on the internet

🍒FIRSTS🍒 36. Surgery - I think I had my adenoids out as my first 37. Piercing - none 38. Sport You Played - Soccer, back in my kiddo days. I hated it 39. Vacation - I think a family reunion when I was like three. The first I remember was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh Mexico in Kindergarten?

🍒CURRENTLY🍒 40. Eating - no, but I’m hungrier than I wanna be 41. Drinking - no, but I’m thirstier than I wanna be 42. I’m About To - Gosh by my previous answers I should go eat and drink but I’m gonna sleep instead 43. Listening To - I have a shitty song stuck in my head that plays at Big Lots and I hate their whole music playlist and it’s far too short for a place where 8 hour shifts aren’t unusual 44. Want Kids - I really do want kids, not only that but I want kids that are related to me. No I don’t know why but I’ve checked this with myself a number of times and it’s what I want. Not any time soon though, I wanna be ready. 45. Want To Get Married - While I want marriage to not be anywhere close to a norm, I have to put yes because there are major tax incentives in america 46. Career - I wanna teach High School Biology

🍒WHICH IS BETTER🍒 47. Lips or Eyes - Eyes are amazing to look at, but I’d much rather feel someone’s lips 48. Hugs or Kisses - if we’re talking about like a front to front, by the book hug, then my answer is kisses. If Hugs is being used as a catch-all that will include cuddles, then HUGS 49. Shorter or Taller - People taller than me tend to make me nervous, because I’m not used to them existing 50. Older or Younger - It’s about even given my pool of previous crushes, with a skew towards older 51. Romantic or Spontaneous - I’m not sure what is being asked, but I think romantic? 52. Sensitive or Loud - Sensitive 53. Hook Up or Relationship - Relationship 54. Troublemaker or Hesitant - Hesitant

🍒HAVE YOU EVER🍒 55. Kissed A Stranger - I’ve kissed two people in my life, and I am/was close to both of them. Oh also another in a game of Truth or Dare back in Freshman year, but that doesn’t count, does it? Oh and there’s another Tumblr person I know in real life 56. Drank Hard Liquor - I tried like half a sip of Fireball Whiskey and no thank you 57. Lost Glasses/Contacts - I wear neither 58. Sex On First Date - No, and I find it hard to see myself as that type of person 59. Broken Someone’s Heart - I’m kinda afraid that I did oops 60. Been Arrested - No, but I had a funny incident with some private security folks a couple weeks ago 61. Turned Someone Down - No. Either people haven’t had crushes on me, gender roles/heteronormativity have prevented people from asking, or people find me intimidating (I don’t know which. My mind wants to say the first, but given how many people there are in this world, I’m gonna go with the other two) 62. Fallen For A Friend - “Wow I wish I was better friends with Brian”  “Wow I wish I was better friends with Caleb”  “Wow I wish I was better friends with Cullen” et cetera and then like three years later it turns out I was bi and I’ve had crushes on mend for like ever woops Also shoutout to my boyfriend oops strikes again  

🍒DO YOU BELIEVE IN🍒 63. Yourself - Unsure 64. Miracles - like real proper miracles? no 65. Love At First Sight - no, but it’s funny because I think people can have funny connections at first sight. The other day I worked with this woman for the first time and we kept giving each other looks and eventually she was like “Ok do we know each other or something because I feel like we’ve met” No I don’t know her but I had that same feel. It’s weird. She reminds me of a friend of mine. 66. Heaven -  O̯̩̯̽̇͆O̺̮͙̦̬ͥ͑̌ͅH̰̥̩̬̹̳ͪ,̪͖̫̜̟̺̺̎̋̀̑̓̇ͩ ̩͕̞ͨ̍̓ͅB̮̒̿ͮ͂ͭ̿Á̹̰͖̌B̪̺͉͚̠̄͑̂͌Ẏ̞̼̦ͫ̔̇̉̂,̟̹ ͚̟͕̗̼͚͍̍͐͊̓͋D̼̲̠̪̖̼ͬǑ̟͚͒ͯ͛ ̤͇̻̝͒ͣŸ̙̬͚́͗͆̂͌́̾Ö̰́̀͗̾̔ͣȔ̅ͫ̐͊̌ ̩̼̪͍͗ͮ̈K̠̹ͨ̈́N̥͇͔͙̩̄͗͐̅͆̿ͅO̳͍̤̭͕̺ͥ̐̀̔̓W̤̪̖̜͗͌̄̇̆̓ͤ ̼̘̱T͍̲̭̽ͩ̀̌̋͐H̦̫ͪͦẢ̬͔̝̞̗̼̔̈́̋́̚̚T̠ͨ'̭͓̼̓̓̅̽ͪ̎S̫̻̜̯̻ͩ̇͋ͭ͌ ͈̬W̼̆͗ͅO̥̲͖̟͈̳RŤ͍̩̏ͪH̠̰̊͛̒̿?͙̼ ͖͎̟͓͉̘͐ͮ͛O͎͙̤͓͓͈ͯͨ̌̈́̀ͪͣỌ͚͓ͅH̾,̗̭̻͍̋ ̳H̺͖͙͉̙͙ͩ̀̏E͍̠͈̗̻̹͇ͣ͗̌Ȁ̼ͧ̆ͮ̚V̜̳̆͆E̩͍̲̻Ṋ̱̲̖͆̃ ̥̬̤͔̒̽ͨ̅̊̇͐I̪̭ͤ̂S ̪̭̳̯̱͎̰̄A̗̭̤̗ͨ ̫̙̲̆̃̏̚ͅP̠ͬ̏̓ͩͦ̓L̝̱͔̱͕̤̣̃̐ͭͦ̿A̟̭ͦ́̎͂ͮC̘̦̓ͭ͛̈ͤ̄E͚̺͍̜͙ ̱̱̽͗ͧ͛ͨȎ̘̰̺͎̱ͧ̾ͬͅN̗̥̯̗ͯ ̣̖̮͈̥̥̬̑E̦͈̙̤͊Aͤ̇͒̒ͬ̆̉R͓̞̀̆̑T͂͌̓H̥͙̫͋ͮ̽̉ ̼͚̟̥̳̓̽ͥT͍́̄H͍̲̣̖͓͛͋ͫ͆͛͒E̮̠̽͋ͧY̭̻̖̠͖̊̆͛ ̻̬͓͕͈͓̼̂͋̓SA͎̜̯̤̐Y̰͖͓̮̫͊̀̿̊ͤ͗ ̼͈ͨͣ̈́ͬ̏I̲N̘̘̥̥ͬ̄ ̚Ḧ̘ͥ̄̊͑̀E̼͙͙A̜͍̙̯̰̝ͮ̏ͩͤV͉͇̞̫̦͋͒̽̐ͬ̄̈́E̝̞̳ͦͥN̳̦,̠̫͓͖̤̫ ̹̳͇̖͕̠̾ͪ̿ͅL̺̗̰ͩ͑ͫ͌ͪ͂̚O͕̤̩̰̫̪̪͐̅̈́ͥ̅̑̀V̹̱̞̠͙ͤ́ͥͫE͈͕͂ ͚̩͇̜̪̃͂͛ͣ̎̌͑C̬̜͓̝̗ͯͦO͈̫̬ͤ̐͒̅ͅM̬͙̟͉̝͊ͅE͎̗̬͉̙̼̭Ș͚̜̱̥̣̣ ͖͕̘͓͖͖̅͗ͤ̎̓̚ͅF̭̺̰̘̥̳͗̏̎͗̚I̞̺̝̳̾̒̇̍͆ṚS̘̺̥̆ͅT̗͙̈́ ͎̪ͤ̏̉̆̈́ͭW͇̫̺̮̞̝̤ͪͫẸ̩̳̙̺̺͂̓ͦͨ͆'̎͒̂ͮͅL̖̔̌ͬL̺ͯ̀ ̪͖̿̃͛ͧM̙̯̰͕̟ͬ͗͂̈̏͌̀Ḁ̠̽͒ͬ̓̈̊̚K͌̌͋E̻̦͛͌ͦ́̚ ̠̫̯̺͚͇̂ͨͤͪ̓ͯH̠̹̙̮̩̳̟ͥ̐̆̂̎͛E̖̮͋͆A̤͉ͥV͒̋ͦͪͨ̏̆Ȅͪ̅ͤ͐Ń̼͈̣͔̫͕ ͔̠̩̰̤̻̄̾͆ͤ̇͑A̻̮͈̰̩ͣͪͮ̑ͨ ̜͓͉̹͚͍P̩̾ͭL̥A̤͒̏ͨC̖̯͇͐͒̊̀Ĕ̖͎̪͖ͦ̓̒̍́ ̗͙̤͍̦̯̲ͨͭ̎͗̓ͥO̯̻͚̫̻̾̃N̏̓̌ ̠̘̔̅E͓̣̥͛̎̾̐̑A͓̬̥͈̣͇̱R̳̳͓̹̱̾ͥ͗̄͑ͤ̊T͎̺͔̱̪̫ͬ̌ͪ̽ͣ̽H͆̉ͭͪ ̱͍̩̯̜͖ 67. Santa Claus - no

I’m just gonna tag some people I want to see this really, those being @gay-leon, @kippyan, @trapped-in-homestuck-hell, and @sunshine-zenith

[deansdirtylittlesecretsblog]

Mimi’s RomCom Fluff Challenge

I just reached 16,000 followers! Yay! 

I have decided to host another writing challenge to celebrate.

I love me a good romantic comedy (aka the romcom). Love them. I also love some good fluff fics, the fluffier the better. I decided to combine the two and the end result is Mimi’s RomCom Fluff Challenge!

Below, you will find a list of some of my favorite romantic comedies, along with quotes from those movies. Your challenge, should you accept it, is to write a fluffy fic including the quote from the movie.

The Rules and Regulations:

Female reader inserts with Sam, Dean, or John Winchester only. No ships (no hate meant, it’s just easier this way).

Your fic can be as many words as you want; I do ask that you please try to make it at least 500 words. Please add a “keep reading” for fics over 500 words. If it doesn’t have a “keep reading” I will not reblog it.

Please make it a one shot or the first part of a series. AU’s are also okay.

Please tag me, @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog and use the hashtag #mimi’s romcom fluff challenge. Make sure the hashtag is in the first 5 tags. If I don’t like it within in 48 hours, I didn’t see it. If that happens, please send me a message.

Please mention somewhere in your author’s notes that it is for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog RomCom Fluff Challenge and which prompt you had.

The most important rule, it MUST contain fluff. No angst (side-eyes a couple of my writer friends - you know who you are). I want the fluff. It can have smut, but it doesn’t have to. But, there must be fluff.

How to sign up:

Send me an ASK. Not a reply, reblog or IM, it needs to be an ask. Also, don’t send it on anon, I need to know who is participating. If it’s from your side blog, please mention the name of your side blog.

In the ask please tell me:

The number you want and whether you will be writing Sam, Dean or John Winchester. Please send at least one alternative in case your first choice is taken.

If you are writing from your sideblog, please give me the name of the blog.

One prompt per writer (for now).

Fics are due by Saturday, September 2nd. That is about two and a half months. If you can’t make the due date, send me a message to ask for an extension. I won’t be mad or upset. Life happens, I get it. I do ask that if you sign up and can’t finish the fic for whatever reason, please let me know. I may be able to find someone who would like to take your place.

Movies and quotes are below the cut:

10 Things I Hate About You 1.  What is it with this chick? She got beer-flavored nipples? 2.  Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.

13 Going on 30: 3.  I don't wanna be beautiful in my own way. I wanna look like these people! 4.  We need to remember what used to be good. If we don't, we won't recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes.

America’s Sweethearts 5.  Love is a bridge built between two people. We want what exists between them to be real. 6.  Except for the part about my penis. That's true. It's bigger than coins. 7.  How can you be in love with someone and not even like them at the same time? 8.  Your pillow's better than mine.   9.  He's a dead man. No, I'm serious. I know a guy, I'll make a call, and... he's dead. 

A Walk to Remember 10.  You have to promise not to fall in love with me. 11.   What's there to talk about? She's the best person I've ever known. 12.  I'm trying here, OK? Maybe... maybe I miss spending time with you. Maybe you inspire me. 13.  I'm scared of not being with you. 

Breakfast at Tiffany’s 14.  A girl can't read that sort of thing without her lipstick. 15.  Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot. 16.  You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. I must say, the mind reels. 17.  I'll never get used to anything. Anybody that does, they might as well be dead.

Clueless 18.  Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you. 19.  Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good. 20.  If I'm too good for him, then how come I'm not with him? 21.  So, this flannel thing. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?

Crazy, Stupid Love 22.  Will you take off your shirt... fuck! Seriously? It's like you're Photoshopped!  23.  I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one... you never give up. 24.  I'm wildly unhappy, and I'm trying to buy it, and it's not working.

Ever After 25.  She came to tell you the truth, and you fed her to the wolves! 26.  You have found my weakness but I have yet to learn yours. 27.  Besides, you claimed it was a matter of life and death. 28.  Are you putting me under house arrest? 

Failure to Launch 29.  And believe me, I did not want that because I had a good life before you. Well, not good... but... it was okay. Well, it... it was empty, actually, but at least I was blissfully unaware of how miserable I was. Whereas now... because of you... I am acutely aware of how completely and totally unhappy I am. Thank you for that. 30.  Guys who drink Kahlua and cream are not power guys, honey. 31.  Actually, it's... it's quite simple. You just have to decide. Do you want to spend the rest of your life having fun or do you want to spend it with me? 32.  Nothing like the threat of decapitation to make it a little more interesting. 

Friends with Benefits 33.  Why do women think the only way to get a man to do what they want, is to manipulate them? 34.  If you tell anyone about this, I will rip your ears off and staple them to your neck. 35.  It’s not you. Nothing is wrong with you. He’s a guy. You gave him a five date challenge, he got you and cut out. Forget the douche! He’s a dick. He’s a dick douche. 

Hope Floats 36.  Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. 37.  Oh, I like all of God's creatures; I just like some of them better stuffed. And he's one of them. 38. Why does everybody keep asking me if I've been drinking? What? Is there like a coaster stuck to my... butt or something? 39.  People fall in love. They fall right back out. It happens all the time. 40.  I would have stayed with you forever. I would have turned myself inside out for you. 

How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days 41. You can't lose something you never had. 42.  Guys, a woman's purse, alright, it's her secret source of power. Alright? There are many dark and dangerous things in there, that we, the male species, should know nothing about. 43.  You see, the key to this game is being able to read people. 44.  Look, just give me back the necklace, then you guys can go on and kill each other. 45. Drunk and tone-deaf. Never a good combination. 

Leap Year 46.  Why don't you stop trying to control everything in the known universe. It's dinner. Have a little faith that it will all work out. 47.  Well, when my 60 seconds came around, I realized I had everything I ever wanted, but nothing I really needed. And I think that what I need is here. And I came all this way to see if maybe you might think so too. 

Moulin Rouge 48.  The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. 49.  He's got a huge... talent. 50.  You're going to be bad for business. I can tell. 51.  It's not that I'm not a jealous man. I just don't like other people touching my things.

Never Been Kissed 52.  That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time. 53.  The right guy, he's out there. I'm just not gonna go kiss a whole bunch of losers to get to him. 

Notting Hill 54.  I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. 55.  It's as if I've taken love heroin, and now I can't ever have it again. 56.  I don't know. It just got to the point where I couldn't remember any of the reasons why we were together. 57.  Oh God, this is one of those key moments in life, when it's possible you can be really, genuinely cool - and I'm failing 100%. 58.  Right, no one. I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes but - don't worry - I won't believe it.

Say Anything 59.  She gave me a pen.  I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen. 60.  The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don’t be a guy.  61.  One question: are you here because you need someone, or you need me? Forget it, I don’t care. 62.  So I’m single now, and everything’s changed. I hate it. 

Sixteen Candles 63.  I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday. 64.  Would you guys please hurry up, I'm breaking like 30 major laws here. 65.  When you don't have anything, you don't have anything to lose. Right? 

Someone Like You 66.  There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence. 67.  Wow, there's the cynical bitch we know and love. 68.  This is key to understanding the myth of male shyness. For while you think he is flattering you, he is actually flattering himself. Showing how open and honest and sensitive he is. 

Sweet Home Alabama 69.  I can't control her any more than I can control the weather. 70.  So I can kiss you anytime I want. 71.  The girl I knew used to be fearless. 

The Notebook 72.  I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me...everyday. 73.  Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'. 

The Princess Bride 74.  Have fun stormin’ the castle. 75.  There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours. 76.  No more rhymes now, I mean it! 77.  You keep using that word, I don't think you know what it means. 78.  That does put a damper on our relationship. 

This Means War 79.  Don't worry. If you're going to hell, I'll just come pick you up. 80.  Don't choose the better man, choose the man who makes you a better woman.

When Harry Met Sally 81.  I'll have what she's having. 82.  No one has ever quoted me back to me before. 

When in Rome 83.  This real enough for you? 84.  The whole point of love is to put someone else's needs above your own. 85.  Now, you could get your heart broken or you could have the greatest love affair the world has ever known, but you're not going to know unless you try. 

While You Were Sleeping 86.  $45 for a Christmas tree and they don't deliver? You order $10 worth of chow mein from Mr. Wong´s, they bring it to your door. 87.  Ugh! I don't want any flowers, I'm not wearing my black underwear and I definitely don't want to move in with you! 

You’ve Got Mail 88.  But the truth is, I'm heart broken. 89.  You were spying on me, weren't you?

[yourwiferuby]

WAS TAGGED BY: @omgniatheapricot

TAGGING: @nemesismess @opalboyprince @synestral @unboy @nightmare-court @baroquebat @fluffisenough and whoever else wants to do this. Too lazy to tag anyone else. 

RULES: ANSWER THESE 85 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

THE LAST

1. DRINK: Orange Cream Soda 2. PHONE CALL: My mom 3. TEXT MESSAGE: My best friend @baroquebat. 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Savages by That Handsome Devil, because it’s my ringtone 5. TIME YOU CRIED: Two days ago.

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: I break up with people and then get back all the time, does that count? 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: Yeah. A lot actually. I regret most things, tho 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: Yes. It sucked.  9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yeah. But like, everyone I lose is special, yannow? 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: Better question, when have I not been. 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: Yeah. Would rather not again.

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. Green 13. Light Green.  14.  Pink, also known as minus green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yes. Lots.  16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: It’d be cool to say yes, but probably not. 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yes. Also vice versa. 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: Probably.  19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Yes. I literally moved to a different state over them. 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: Yeah. It sucked. 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: Don’t have a facebook list. Or a facebook.

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: I’m gonna pretend this is tumblr, and now I can say two, since I legit live with them. 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: One adorable little guy named Puppers who I adore.  24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: Yeah. Probably. But only to something that is technically my legal name. 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: Talked with the boy I’m currently living with for the entire day.  26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 10:00-ish. Somewhere around there. 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Sleeping, for once. 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: The 29th, because XCom War of the Chosen releases then. 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: Closer to 3 weeks ago when I moved. 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: Cicadas outside the apartment.  32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Yes. When I was in like... 7th grade. Classmate.  33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: Cicadas outside my apartment. 

34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: Probably tumblr. Or these two blogs for toy reviews or youtube. Which are my mainstays. 

35. HAIR COLOUR: Dirty blonde/brown 36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: Currently cut into a mohawk.  37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: That’d be awkward if I didn’t. 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I’m passionate. 39. PIERCINGS: None. To the chagrin of my boyfriend 40. BLOOD TYPE: AB-  41. NICKNAME: Don’t think I have one, unless Saint counts 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: In a relationship. 43. ZODIAC: Aries. 44. PRONOUNS: They/them 45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: Toss up between a lot of things, but probably Venture Brothers, Southland, or Breaking Bad. 46. TATTOOS: None. Again, to the chagrin of my boyfriend 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: Right 48. SURGERY: A few, technically, but tonsillitis is the only major one.  50. SPORT: Never been into sports much, playing or watching, but I’ve been to plenty of baseball games with the fam. 51. VACATION: Used to go to Florida every year, but for right now, got my hearts set on going to Atlanta with my bestie and my boyf.  52. PAIR OF TRAINERS: I technically was a Pokemon trainer once. Well, actually, a Gym leader for a little community event for the kids. 

MORE GENERAL

53. EATING: Nothing currently 54. DRINKING: Orange Cream Soda 55. I’M ABOUT TO: Play XCom 56. WAITING FOR: XCom War of the Chosen 57. WANT: XCom War of the Chosen 58. GET MARRIED: I’d love to. Got someone in mind too. 59. CAREER: I’d like to write and do game design. You know those people who made lore for board games and toys? That’s essentially my dream job.  60. HUGS OR KISSES: Hugs. Warm. 61. LIPS OR EYES: Eyes! 62. SHORTER OR TALLER: I enjoy both.  63. OLDER OR YOUNGER: I want to say older, but I always seem to skew younger, against my best intentions. 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: My boyfriend would call me a liar if I said arms with how much I pat his tummy. 65. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Relationship. I’m done with hook-ups. Too old for that. 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Troublemaker for sure. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. KISSED A STRANGER: Yeah. It didn’t suck. 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: Yeah. Not intending to ever again. 69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: I’ve lost so many pairs of sunglasses. 70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Yes. Shockingly, I’ve had to turn down a number of women before.  71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: Yes. Again, didn’t suck. 72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Oh. For sure. It sucked. 73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: Yes. Many times. It’s very easy to do that.

74. BEEN ARRESTED: I mean, technically. But it’s not on any record/ 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: Yes. When Darwyn Cooke died.  76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: Basically every relationship I get into for the past 7 years.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. YOURSELF: I’m like that one issue of the silver age Flash comics where the Flash got depressed and stopped believing in himself so everyone stopped believing in the Flash so he started to fade out of existence. The cover is like, the greatest comic cover of all time. Here it is. That comic is pure art and it’s the nature of my existence.  78. MIRACLES: I’d say no, but the way things usually work out for me, it’s probably more true. 79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Yes. It’s happened to me before. 80. SANTA CLAUS: There very definitely was a very real person named Saint Nicolas who loved to give toys to kids. 

81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: I’d literally had sex on the first date, but even I wouldn’t KISS someone on the first date. That’s CRAZY. 

82. ANGELS: Strictly speaking, probably not, but I am a Catholic, and Catholic hierarchy of Angels is the coolest shit ever. 

OTHER:

84. EYE COLOUR: Green/Blue/Grey. People tell me a bunch of different colors. I can never remember which it is. Only time my eye color comes up is during things like this. 85. FAVOURITE MOVIE: Stranger Than Fiction. 

[zalrb]

Tipsy Review by request {TVD 1x28 nope, 1x18}

1.       Legit though I think the DE thing would’ve worked better if they just made Elena a sociopath.  

2.       Also who gives a shit about DE right now when Stefan is doing fucking pull ups, omg those ARMS though.

3.       And now push ups. Omg.

4.       “I haven’t hunted a human in way too long” but Damon, you kill them for sport. Shut the fuck up.

5.       Guys, guys, I don’t think you appreciate Stefan’s arms in this episode. But like why is he in a wifebeat though? Why can’t he just be topless. They did this on purpose and it’s mean.

6.       Tispy Zal is a little thirsty. I recognize that.

7.       You know in 1x19 Damon is all like I’m glad Stefan fed because he’s finally accepting who he is but I legit just think Damon liked having the moral high ground.

8.       Jeremy cut your hair. Why do we wait an entire season for this to happen?

9.       Oh Bonnie returns this episode. Finally.

10.   Elena, when Matt tells you his mom was about to strangle Caroline if she cooked more lasagne, this is when you, as a friend, say that Caroline is just trying to show empathy the only way she knows how, not just go “ah.”

11.   I like how everyone in the council paints John as an extremist and a jackass when he’s the only on who is actually on task.

12.   “Why does she hate you?” “We used to sleep together.” Legit, TVD, what fucking uncle says that to his nephew? Like.

13.   I fucking love that Elena rubs Stefan’s shoulders when she asks how he’s doing.

14.   And the way Stefan says “I missed you too.” Paul does this thing with Stefan where it starts off lighthearted and then he subtly gets more intense and gives Elena that stare (and I had an entire gifset on that stare) and suddenly Elena is on her back.

15.   “Ah just like I remembered.” “Stop messing around.” Elena, would you not be like um, excuse me? When were you were?

16.   I meant here. When you were here. No. When were you here. Lol. You guys asked for a tipsy review, I’m just saying.

17.   Damon, legit stop rifling through a teen girl’s underwear drawer.

18.   I remember everyone saying how much tension there was between Damon and Elena in this scene and it’s literally Damon invading Elena’s space and Elena shrinking backwards and trying to talk about Stefan without being derailed.

19.   Also Elena and Damon have a conversation about how deep down Stefan is like Damon or has a Damon in him because he’s a vampire so yet again, it’s proof that Elena is more like Stefan as a vampire because she has the exact same conversation with Damon about her nature. If Damon is literally justsupposed to be representative of vampirism personified --- I somehow think that was redundant but whatever --- if he’s essentially all of the base parts of vampirism period then it’s not unique if Elena can relate to him when it comes to the base parts of her vampirism because he’s that representative for everyone.

20.   Jesus, I hope that made sense.

21.   Hey, see how Stefan is spiralling out of control? Maybe he should call Lexi to help him through it. Oh that’s right he can’t because Damon was an asshole and killed her. On his birthday. An eternity of misery, dude took that oath to heart.

22.   Omg only 13 minutes have gone by, I should stop talking.

23.   Or writing.

24.   This is all gibberish anyway.

25.   I like Elena’s jacket when she’s taking that walk with Jeremy.

26.   Lol Stefan stole that drink like a boss.

27.   Tyler  and Matt, walking from one side of the room to the other side with a bottle doesn’t make you invisible, at least go to a different  room.

28.   No one notices that a 17 year old boy (Stefan) is just drinking?

29.   Stefan, honey, I love you, I love how you dance with Elena but what are you doing with Kelly? You’re dancing like a grandpa.

30.   “Do you know what your brother’s been up to?” “I’ve been too preoccupied with yours.” Damon and Elena talk like in-laws.

31.   Why would John tell Damon he knows Damon is a vampire? Why not just kill Damon?

32.   What’sherface, Kelly, that actress, Miranda something? I think? Either way, she’s always the same person in everything I’ve seen her in. Kelly is basically Julie Cooper from The OC and even in Entourage when she plays a version of herself she’s another version of Julie Cooper, so I have to wonder, is she JUST Julie Cooper? Like is that who she is?

33.   Kelly, Tyler just spoke about how he was a trash boyfriend to your dead daughter so you take that as an opportunity to kiss him? Girl, I know you’re a mess but do you have to be that much of a mess?

34.   Although I do like the line “It’s like I don’t deserve to miss her.”

35.   “I don’t have anyone to talk to.” “I don’t have anyone to talk to either.” Lol, both of you legit have Matt, stop playing.

36.   Also Tyler and Kelly making out in PUBLIC and NO ONE is scandalized that the mother of the dead girl is making out with the dead girl’s boyfriend? FUCKING DETAILS, TVD.

37.   Also Tyler legit made out with Matt’s mom and then choked Matt. Like he’s a TRASH friend.

38.   I get that his werewolf gene agitates his aggression and I’m on board with that and they do a good job of them being like YO, TYLER, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOU but Tyler is also just a dick in season 1 so the combination is thoroughly unfavourable.

39.   I think I might be sobering up a little. Maybe.

40.   LOL I love how Damon is like “Do you wanna hear about how I killed Uncle John Gilbert?” and the way Stefan says, “What?” Paul plays drunk subtly but it’s done very well.

41.   It’s interesting, I like Matt and Stefan as friends (even though nothing comes from it) but it would’ve been cool for Tyler and Stefan to sort of bond this season too over Tyler having rage he can’t control and Stefan having a monster in him that he tries so hard to control. I dunno

42.   What is it about John that he can just show up and be a part of the council like nothing, go to the founder’s party and ring that bell? Like why is he heralded? It can’t just be because he’s a Gilbert.

43.   Here is the thing, the show is making it seem like it’s such a huge deal that John knew Isobel who is Elena’s birth mother who is Alaric’s ex-wife but, like, so what? He knows that vampires exist simply by being in the council, so why would it matter at this point in time that he would know Isobel? LIKE WHO CARES?

44.   It also makes no sense that Alaric would team up with Damon to kill John. Alaric, are you not also a hunter? Should you not be a part of the council? Your sudden allegiance to Damon makes literally no sense.

45.   I do kind of love that Stefan shows up to Elena’s house to let her know what’s going on with him instead of just trying to shrug it off alone because they rely on one another now J

46.   And when he hugs her. “I love you so much.” Man, I feel that shit in my BONES. And the way Elena hugs him, like trying her best to take away all of his doubt and agitation. That earnestness, man.

47.   Seriously, if Damon’s endgame was to apparently get Stefan to face his true nature and help him then he would’ve said it by now instead of continuously tempting him to drink blood by leaving glasses around the room and walking away, it’s a fucking power play.

48. Bonnie did not return this episode. That was 121. Ugh.

OK! I am DONE J Hope you enjoyed my semi-coherent review!