#this happens w fic especially
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sometimes i'll spend too long looking at fan content like gifs and fanart and fanfic and metas, or writing my own fic and metas, and whenever i get in too deep i have to go back and rewatch a few scenes from the show to remember that this is a Comedy and the characters are all huge clowns almost all the time
#this happens w fic especially#bc a lot of fic is just. tonally much angstier than the show is#even if the content isn't like edgy or dark. like minimal whump#fic tends to focus on the drama more than the comedy of the show but when u watch the show the comedy is ALWAYS present#like even ed going full kraken has the scene where he leans dramatically into the candlelight and jim's like#''the fuck happened to your face???''#so like i'll read all these extremely heart-wrenching reunion fics and like tender hurt/comfort or fluff#and then i have to go back to the show and watch ed stab a snake and stede say 'eat an apple for god's sake!'#like i start forgetting how the characters ACTUALLY behave in most of the scenes#ofmd#our flag means death#mine#txt#og#ofmd fandom crit
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question!
i've been wanting to stray away from lu for a while now and do my own thing with wars n ledge and the rest of the links (mainly bc i feel restricted by jojo's rules/don't agree w her takes, and wanna pursuit my own stuff), but there's one big thing holding me back, and that's lack of views to put it bluntly
if i make my own au and don't tag its content as #lu, then it will most definitely get a fraction of the attention my lu content does. and i know it sounds self-centered of me to worry abt something like that, but i put months of work into the fics i post. i put days of work into each art piece i post. if i work on something for months and then 10 people on ao3 read it and an astounding 0 of them even leave a comment, that will be Devastating to my motivation And confidence
what im asking y'all is this: should i finally make my own au to separate myself from lu and risk the plunge in notes, or should i stay in the lu fandom and suffer?
#qktalks#i feel like my links are far enough apart from lu's canon to justify this#ESPECIALLY my wars#my wars is Nothing like lu wars; he's silly and goofy and not at all serious#not even accounting for the fact that he Looks completely different design-wise i think he's pretty far from canon lu now#my sky design is Nothing like lu sky's and i have my own characterizations of him despite not posting abt it much#to put it bluntly once again i wanna post stuff of them all cuddling and being a family without dipshit lu fans coming in and correcting me#so far it's only happened like Once but the fear and anxiety of being ridiculed is still very much apparent#im afraid to post stuff. i don't wanna be afraid to post stuff#i wanna have my own au where i have my Own rules#and i wanna be in a fandom that doesn't fuckin suck VGIEAYGV#but im terrified of switching over and out of the fandom bc then my stuff won't be viewed at all#and without reblogs of my art and comments on my fics i have a feeling i will simply stop producing anything altogether#i know the whole ''u should make art for yourself'' thing but . it's no fun if nobody else is gonna see it yaknow ?#i wanna show other people what makes me happy and maybe make them happy in the process#that's hard to do when u don't tag ur posts w a popular fandom tag that everybody searches through#idk . willing to hear anybody's takes on this
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stayed up until 1:30am to finish writing one of my roudise week fanfics YAY!!!!
#i randomly got inspired at midnight and was like man i have to ride this train as far as it'll take me#its a shorter fic but super cute imo <3 and it made me a little bit emotional but everything w/ childhood friends to lovers does that#especially if they're aged up. which they are in this particular fic#big things could be happening in the next few days <- me actually finishing more fanfic#EDIT: by shorter i do of course mean 2.3k words#short by my standards#txt
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staring at the nimona daemon au breaking 40k when i still have the entire ending of the movie left: oh my god. this one might be 50k after all
#IM LIKE. NEARLY DONE W NIMONAS BACKSTORY AND KDFG#by the time im done with it i still have. you know. The Whole Fucking Finale Of The Movie.#that'll be. like. not short! i could easily see that eating up 10k words! depending on what i do! and ESPECIALLY what i do with the ending!#im not sure if im gonna do the movie ending kinda adapt the comic ending SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY???#why does this keep HAPPENING oh thisll be a short 15k thing i say but NO. OF COURSE IT ISNT#why would it be i always have to make my daemon aus require SO MUCH EXPLANATION....#like of course nimona's backstory was gonna be longer than i thought#i have to explain SO MUCH bc this is one of the BIGGEST CHANGES due to it being a daemon au#im. oh my god.#like this will still be done before saturday but STILL. screaming crying etc etc#well if anybody wanted to know how im doing. uh. (gestures) i think you get to decide that for yourself#as of now this will be the LONGEST FIC IN THE NIMONA TAGS ON AO3......#i didnt have to DO THIS....#chatter
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hi i just wanted to drop a ss of the comments i wrote on my notion page for captured ghosts because im about to reread and i think this fic deserves all the recognition in the world it slays so hard and you should know the absolute anxiety and simultaneous joy you caused me!!!
HI OH MY GOD ?!?!??!?!? thank you asufaudsf this is so so nice the joy THIS brought me?????????? immeasurable ty <3333
(ps theres a lot of thoughts in the tags w captured ghosts spoilers for those who may or may have not read my will byers gets haunted multichaptered fic!!)
#if youre thinking hmm i should read captured ghosts!! dont take it from me take it from tumblr user romainlettusdinnerparty :)#okokok so !!! authors thoughts#one of the biggest problems i have with media and especially in fics is when characters just have. the worlds most perfect inner dialogue#which clearly. bc they are fifteen years old. they will not be perfect they wont think coherent thoughts#human emotions are messy and indecipherable and ESP w the st characters someone who has gone thru as much as will has. hes gonna be angry !#i do my best to walk the line between good writing and realistic writing LMAO so im glad that came across :)))#ok abt joyce. this was less of a 'i think this is how joyce would be' and rlly just me being annoyed w my own mother tbh#i also wasnt a huge fan of her when i first wrote cg bc i thought she was way too paranoid over will and not caring much abt jonathan#so that is why shes Like that. im gonna be real i dont think id change it if i rewrote but i also dont think i wrote her fairly#and finally !!! im very sorry i lied about the rewrite. its not gonna happen bc i am so so swamped and i have nothing and i wrote it last y#but for the record will was supposed to be in the same sort of coma max was in and they were supposed to find each other and will#was going to promise max hed find her way out and then boom he was going to wake up there was going to be some jealousy w lucas and mike an#he makes it out alive max makes it out alive vecna doesnt fully leave etc etc. the end#anyways if youve read this far thank u and thank you for leaving this ask and this comment :))))) i havent gotten anything abt my fics in a#while tbh so knowing that like . They Still Exist and people still like them means so so much to me :')))) ok bye this was super long#overdue gets some asks#captured ghosts#happy chemical
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holy shit i just realized my silly little fic about steddie and snow cones hit 500 kudos and i am feeling a lot of things about it
#it might not be a lot in comparison to some others but it is to me#i've never gotten that much attention on something i've written ever#and especially as i've been in this weird cycle of discouraging thoughts for the past well over a month#feeling like shit because i haven't been in the right mental state to write even though it's one of my favorite hobbies#and what little i can feels like hot garbage#so the fact that that many people liked something i wrote enough to click an extra button means!!! so much to me oh my god#i've been in a 'delete everything i've ever written' mood again lately which has been a recurring theme for me but this happening#reminds me that people actually like things i write sometimes#so if you read that fic and left kudos/comments/bookmarks/reblogs: i am kissing you on the forehead. or on the mouth if you're ok w/ that#shut up larsen
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I am gonna make Wu and Garmadon so morally questionable in the demon's wish au aren't I.
#demon's wish au#ninjago au#ngl not as sure about garmadon but wu my goodness you are gonna be so messed up#when I decide what exactly I'm going to do with you anyways#teehee#if you wished upon a witch's heart that a certain person was someone else would that wish be granted?#cause it's erasing someone to bring back someone else#would that be a negative enough wish?#who knows!#so much trying to bring back the dead happening in this au...#kai is the only one who is even remotely successful hgiuahigweg#and even then.#well#time loops are real hard work ya know?#especially when you can't be present like 90% of the time for Reasons#hehe :3#I really wanna write a fic of this au..#I'd feel bad about spoiling people tho :(#since this au is a... fusion(?) of the game witch's heart#but agh w/e#I'll live#at least more people will know about it maybe lmao
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least favourite aus to encounter in fic? mine's modern au
#and ESPECIALLY coffee shop au and college au bc they're boring as all shit#and super american centric#which is why i dislike modern au on the whole#curry rambles#they always feel off and weird bc of being set in america#and college aus don't hit w/ me bc of that and also bc im not at all a students who goes to parties#or drinks alcohol. so everything that happens in those fics is alien to me
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as a society i think we need to talk less about eddie munson
#listen. LISTEN. i get it he’s cool and nonconformist and edgy and. dead and queercoded i GET IT#but like jesus christ yall the amounts of character butchery that the entire fandom has been subjected to#also hi sorry can we maybe possibly also address how the entire fandom insists on queerifying all the male characters. when we have.#a canonical wlw character. like ?? i just. im used to it from every other fandom but like#i simply do not have the patience for it in this one. can we please not ignore robin#also why does the obsession with eddie always come at the expense of the other more fleshed out characters.#like just say you want a self insert and go but don’t pretend that all of your headcanons or whatever actually happened#ESPECIALLY when it comes to ships. ahem steddie shippers. completely changing both of their characters and dynamics w other characters#i get wanting to change aspects of canon. trust me. i have a five page google doc of complaints. but like can we not act like he’s#canonically anything other than another minor character that the duffer bros sacrificed bc they didn’t wanna kill a main#and like. i don’t know. something about how the relationship everyone wants to focus on. is between steve and eddie ??#who barely interact and tbh don’t have much stake in each others lives.#as opposed to like. dustin and eddie ??? like im sorry but. why is steve always so destroyed in fics where eddie dies#and dustin is just like. crying or whatever.#steve barely fucking knew the guy let’s be real.#i dont know. im angry and tired of shitty characterization and wlw being ignored for less relevant white men#roxisms#st#stranger things
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I have a race notebook and also the standings written on a board in my room(im a nerd) and im very hesitant to write down any results ngl, cause im super unsure if we're gonna get a fernando saudi situation w carlos or not??
#i just feel so bad for him#i apologize for laughing a bit at his radio i was a bit hysterical at that moment in time forgive me#now in hindsight i think if i rewatched it i might cry#but ig ill be stalking the f1 app a bit#who knows! anything could happen!! this season but this race especially has exemplified that!#heres the thing which i said in the tags of my highlights post#like yeah i did get upset during that race a few times and am still befuddled but like i still enjoyed the fuckery!! it was wild#ah i wish i could consicely write out my thoughts but im still just losing it ngl#i cant believe its been 4 hours since the race started.......#i need to calm down and sleep so i dont explode#aahhhhhh i wanna go write out all the results but im scared smth will change#then again i feel like those results nearly were so different at the beginning of the 3rd restart#im still really not mentally over the 2nd restart i think i need to watch it again bcs i was simply: losing. my. shit.#but all my gifing and posting tonight was so fun!! i wouldnt miss it for the world so thanks for being w me :)#i wanna go read fic or smth bcs man im wired for it being 5 fucking am....#catie.rambling.txt#ramble ramble ramble bcs i think its gonna take a lot for me to calm down LOL
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awhile back someone in the brokeback tags was complaining abt people being upset at ennis' threats of violence against jack, saying that ennis didn't actually threaten to harm jack, but that when he said "what i dont know, all them things i dont know could get you killed if i come to know them" after finding out that jack had gone to mexico to hire male prostitutes was instead meant to be taken as a warning that jack's wreckless promiscuity would end up getting him found out by others and killed
and i just. like. can't agree at all, lmao. like yeah theres something to be said about ennis warning jack against looking for sex with men elsewhere, but the literal next few lines after ennis spits that at jack is jack responding with this:
"You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years, and you measure the short fuckin' leash you keep me on and then you ask me about Mexico, and you tell me you'll kill me for needin' somethin' that I don't hardly never get."
The whole point of the post was that people need to stop being so judgemental towards ennis' character and whatnot and like, i can definitely agree with that bc i have noticed a fair amount of people say that they can't get into the movie bc they find it very hard to empathize w ennis' character, but their justification for "leaving ennis alone" was that "ennis wasn't abusive or violent towards jack" and like. to me thats trying to purify a character who was purposely written to be "morally gray". also known as a messy ass realistic human being, lol
like. ennis is a violent character. he responds to multiple high emotion situations, both in the short story and in the screenplay, with violence, and jack is on the recieving end of that violence like. at LEAST twice. so like, you can't really argue that ennis didn't threaten to kill jack out of jealousy after learning that jack had been sleeping with other men, nor can you argue that this behavior isn't a little abusive or at the least motivated by a violent streak that we're already well aware that he has.
to me, his violent streak is part of the tragedy—its commentary on how rural men born in toxically masculine households are raised to repress their emotions so much that the only socially valid way of expressing them is through violence, and how much of a bad thing that social convention is is, not just for everyone around them but for the men themselves, too.
ennis is a really sad character. he makes a lot of bad decisions (decisions that the story doesn't actually condone, btw), but the story forces you to think deeply about those decisions and question them. particularly, it wants you to question what worldview these decisions are born from, and why he felt as though they were the only options he had. and once you've done that, then you just can't help but feel even worse for him in the end. its like a self fulfilling prophecy of grief. you can't let him off the hook, but you understand why he is the way he is, and why his life ended up being so sad.
idk. i just think its such a disservice to whitewash a character as interesting as ennis. like i think that more people definitely need to be more empathetic towards him as a character, especially if they really want to understand all the things that this story is commenting on, but i dont think you have to reinterpret him as something he's not (i.e.: nonviolent) in order to do that
#idk. let ennis be violent#i knowww we all want our precious gays to be morally pure and perfect and never cause any harm cause we dont want bad representation#or w/e#but like. storytelling is so much more compelling when we allow characters to be messy and not make the best choices and take the cleanest#course of action all the time#making ennis out to be nonviolent takes out like half of what makes him such an interesting character#especially with regards to jack. like. the whole reason why a lot of their more intimate interactions have a bit of a violent edge in them#is bc its commenting on the socially acceptable ways in which men are typically allowed to show affection w one another#like straight male society needs excuses in order for men to have physical contact w one another and so rough housing and fighting are the#only ways men are able to be physically close w other guys typically#like theres a whole cinematic language that revolves around a fight between two men having homoerotic undertones in it for a reason lol#anyways another long ass post but idk. like i do get mad when i see people try and purify these characters. it happens in fic and it also#happens in analysis posts too i guess#still brokeback posting
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the feeling of someone going through your niche rarepair fics and kudos-ing each one <3
#don't mind me having a moment#once in a while it’ll happen and I’ll be very !!!!!!!! about it#I always notice when someone has been marathoning my fics and love them a lot#but it’s especially >.< to see someone going through the rarepair fics#there is an audience for them! ;w;
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hhhhhmmmmmmm
#debating some things abt detective au#thoughts time:#I’m struggling hard to write the fic#and it’s kinda lived via images in my brain for awhile#and…I think my comic burnout is finally healing#so I’m debating scrapping the fic and going with comics instead?#I find them easier. especially w something this big#idk….I might burn myself out again tho…#decisions decisions#I needed to put my thoughts somewhere#I think I’ll sketch out some pages and see what happens
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I have had a depressing ass past couple of days and I am about to make it fictional characters’ problem
#time to be especially Mean to them#idk some shit happened and it was already not great#and now I just found out my grandparents are having the sell the house they built and I basically grew up in cuz they can’t afford it#anymore which is just..... :/#I mean it makes sense my grandpa can’t physically work like he used to anymore and he did self employeed physical labor#so he has no retirement and it just.... like it sucks idk#and that on top of all the shit that just happened to me personally is really :/#A N Y W A Y S#time to go write angst fics for the sake of Catharsis or some shit idk#kaz rambles
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So! How goes ur journey into le spn? In watching or reading/listening to fic?
I’m sure you’ve been vry busy but if there’s been any fics you’ve read that I sent and you’d like to see more of in that vein I’d be happy to find/send more!
( Reccing to you has allowed me to dive right back into the treasure trove of this fandom and rediscover so many gems 💚💙)
i haven't been able to read/listen to any of the fic you've sent me yet, but I am on ep 10 of spn :))
i'm so happy that you're getting to revisit so much beloved fandom creation!! i love it when ppl come gush abt their interests in my askbox, i feel so lucky to get to receive all that enthusiasm and joy!!! <3 <3 <3
#i'm going through a bit of a fanfic dry spell rn#it happens where every couple of months i'm like 'i need to read a BOOK RIGHT NOW!!!' and then i do that for a bit and then after a couple#more months i'll say 'i gotta gorge myself on FIC RIGHT NOW!!!' and on and on until the world explodes or i die ig#but thank you thank you thank you for sending them!! especially the podfics i'm gonna start listening on my commutes!#spn#anon#signed sealed delivered#and also genuinely thank you from the bottom of my heart to anyone who's ever shared one of their interests w/ me i love you#including you sab <3
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