#this has been sitting in my drafts since december ;-; | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonstruck-writing · 9 months

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Perfect Cracks

Fandom: Paradox Live Characters: Shogo x Toma Rating: E C/Ws: nsft, established relationship, strays from canon, fluff (and some angst) with a happy ending. Summary: Shogo and Toma share an intimate moment Word count: 6k A/N: I wrote this like half a year ago but never uploaded it so that’s some context I guess?

It only took one button for the radio interview to be over. The sign “on air” turned off immediately after the rushed ending of their segment. Even if it was short, they didn’t forget to thoroughly thank the host and all the staff that had made it possible for them to be there as VISTY. Then, and only then, they left the room and started making for the entrance of the building.

“Were you glad it was a radio interview and not a video interview, Toma?” Shogo leaned against the wall opposite the elevators. He still remembered the day before, when Toma had had a face crisis after some pimples appeared on his usually flawless skin. But his skin was usually flawless only because he made sure to take extremely good care of it. And so he doubled the efforts in his skincare routine.

However, that had already been forgotten by Toma, so he couldn’t understand why his partner was smiling. A relaxed, carefree smile. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve never imagined that Shogo had felt nauseous before they went live.

“I cannot say I am glad our fans didn’t get to see me today, can I?” He tried mimicking Shogo’s smile, but his personality made it brighter. It was a shame that the same personality hid a dam of insecurities ready to burst.

“Come on, guys!” Kantaro urged them from inside the elevator before turning to talk to Aoi again.

It was easy to lose themselves in the excitement and relief of the job done. They talked together about how it had gone, and about their expectations and hopes for the near future. Even if VISTY was made of very different people, they clicked in an effortless manner. Or perhaps, it wasn’t that effortless. They had to pull themselves up after their leader left. It hadn’t just been Shogo taking the lead that restored their strength, but all of their members individually, who made a conscious choice – they would choose each other, they would choose VISTY, no matter what happened.

When they left the building it was already night outside, and all of them felt the relief from only having to walk a bit before their hotel came into sight. Now that they were more popular, their manager had announced they could afford those commodities. Before, they would’ve had to take the train back home, but not now. Things were really changing for the better.

They walked from the lobby to the elevators, having already checked in before the radio show.

“Why do I have to be the one taking care of Kantaro?” Aoi huffed while taking out from their trousers’ pocket the card to their shared room.

“Aoi, don’t be like that! We’ll have tons and tons of fun tonight, I promise~”

“Yeah, as long as you don’t go ego-surfing online.” Toma rested his arm on top of Kantaro’s shoulders.

“But you guys also want to check what people are saying about us, don’t lie.” He took his phone but it was taken from his hands before he could type or scroll.

“Confiscated.” Shogo chirped.

“What? You can’t do that!” Kantaro puffed his cheeks, frowning at him. That reaction didn’t get much attention, but Shogo passed the phone to Aoi once they got inside the elevator. They would part ways as soon as they reached their floor, and Shogo didn’t want anyone to bother him in the middle of the night. He wanted his time to be his – and Toma’s.

He looked at the reflection of his lover in the elevator’s mirror – he was checking himself out like Shogo expected. If he didn’t know better – like he didn’t know at the start of their relationship – he would’ve thought Toma was checking whether or not his appearance was right for Shogo. But now, he hoped it was the other way around. There wasn’t anything that Shogo wanted more than seeing Toma not care about his appearance around him.

He had desired that for weeks now. Long weeks where he had tried it all: complimenting Toma, not paying attention to his physique at all, and anything in between. But his goal was proving more difficult than he had believed at first. No matter what he did, Toma always had the same cheerful and carefree – yet perfect – smile plastered on his face. Because it was plastered – it didn’t flourish naturally from his heart, but it was a shield, a fence surrounding the innermost feelings of his being. And Shogo yearned to be able to peek through, to see Toma fully, with all his different sides.

There had been times when he had thought Toma’s façade had faltered for a couple of seconds, moments in which there were cracks separating his persona from the real him. But they were only fleeting moments, and as soon as Shogo believed he was witnessing one, it ended.

The doors of the elevator opened and the group split. When Shogo and Toma were finally alone inside their room, a deafening silence greeted them. Shogo sighed with relief – he had been yearning for this peace and quiet since his stomach had started churning before the interview. Now he could finally be himself, without having to assert his identity outside of his family. Here with Toma, he was simply Shogo, not someone who carried the Yamato surname like a signpost that prevented anyone from seeing him.

Toma smiled and turned on all the lights in the small room, bathroom inclusive. He peered inside, excitedly calling for Shogo to come join him.

“Shou-chin! Check out this shower, it’s way modern~” he went inside and inspected the shower controls. “There’s even this rain effect, how cool is that?”

Shogo took in the excitement that Toma’s voice carried and gathered enough energy to finally move away from the entrance and into the bathroom. His body naturally found Toma’s and he hugged him from behind, resting his chin on his lover’s shoulders.

“Do you want to take a shower first, Sho-chin?” Toma turned his head slightly, enough to make eye contact with him. He shook his head slowly. “No? Then I’ll take it first.”

“I don’t want that.” Shogo squeezed him tighter. “We can take a shower later.”

“How impatient~ I’ll only be a moment, yeah?” Toma took Shogo’s wrists with his hands and pulled them away from his waist. Once Shogo let go of him, he turned around and gave him a relucent smile. “Now go and explore the rest of the room.” It was clearly an invitation to leave him alone, and Shogo felt a sting in his heart. How could they be so close and yet so far away? There was nothing to explore really, not when they had already left their bags inside when they checked in earlier, before the interview.

He reluctantly left the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He pulled the curtains, making sure their room was shielded from the outside world, and he finally laid down on one of the beds.

Yes, one of the beds. Shogo felt another sting in his heart. He knew they had to remain professional, that work and love were a difficult combo to handle, but that only arouse another desire in his heart. It was small and stupid, but he wanted a big double bed. One bed, not two. It was only one object, and it wouldn’t even change the way they slept together, but Shogo wanted it with all his being. It was a symbol. One bed meant a certain shared experience that he felt was present now, but not completely. Somehow the barriers of the individual sheets seemed to be there representing something more, something that wasn’t as easy to eliminate as simply moving the two beds closer together.

He heard the shower being turned on and instinctively turned to look at Toma’s side of the room. All of his luggage was there. He hadn’t taken anything into the bathroom, had he? The thought of Toma appearing before him with only one towel tied to his waist was alluring, but it was quickly substituted by another thought: he hadn’t taken his make-up remover inside. It was nothing new, really, he never did. Whenever they spent the night together, Toma was always wearing make-up.

Shogo kicked off his shoes as if trying to quick away those negative thoughts. He had to focus on the positives. He wanted to. Like how they were going to spend the night together. That was good enough to overlook anything else. It had to be.

True to his word, Toma was quick and the water noises stopped soon enough. It was like a signal that seemed to remove a layer of tiredness from Shogo’s body. He would’ve been lying if he said he hadn’t been looking forward to tonight throughout the day. Even if he harboured secret desires in his heart, the biggest of his desires was Toma himself – with everything he came with.

And even if Shogo wished he only came out of the bathroom with a towel tied to his waist, the reality was a bathrobe.

“You were quick.” Shogo sat down on the bed, waiting for Toma to approach him.

“Yeah, you can shower now.” There was a small smile on his face, almost court, and Shogo didn’t like how it seemed to be laughing at him, saying ‘you can’t read Toma’s emotions at all, can you?’

“I’ll be back before your hair has dried.” He pointed and stood up, walking with big strides towards the bathroom. He didn’t see how Toma’s smile faltered when he mentioned his just-washed hair.

And true to his word, Toma was still patting gently his wet locks when Shogo came back to him, also wearing a bathrobe.

“You look fancy wearing that bathrobe, Sho-chin~”

“I should’ve worn just a towel, it’s too hot with this.” He unfastened the belt a little, allowing some space to open his chest area.

“I think you’re too hot, too.” The words froze Shogo, who was fanning himself, leaving his hand to stand in the air motionless. Toma was always too good to him.

“Look who’s talking, Mr. Perfection right out of the shower.” He knew he had overdone it the moment the words left his mouth. He wasn’t as good as Toma at complimenting others. And he saw how the corners of his lips pushed up in a forced gesture. He had really done it now.

“Mi- mi-,” Toma struggled with the words, the clear shock of unpleasant surprise making him stumble. “Sho-chin!” Wordless, he decided to approach him and take one of his hands in his to walk him to the bed. His body could always speak fluidly whenever he didn’t find the words, even if Toma didn’t trust his body as much as he seemed to do.

Then, pushing Shogo’s body down, he climbed onto the bed next to him and without saying anything else, kissed him, as if to turn over to a new page.

Toma’s kisses were golden like a coin – and had a double quality to them too. There were playful kisses full of energy and curiosity and even a hint of vulnerability, the real Toma, without filters. There were insecure kisses, hesitant, gentle and sweet, as if waiting to be ordered otherwise. And his kisses were never one or the other, but a mixture of both, making Shogo anxious to pay attention and keep up with every move, every ebb and flow of energy and emotion.

But before Shogo could map the inflexion of Toma’s kisses at that moment, he broke the kiss and started undressing Shogo, opening the upper part of the bathrobe even more, and leaving his chest and shoulders completely exposed. The firm flesh of his arms was still left covered, and Toma smiled in anticipation of what was to come later.

But before Toma could do anything to all that exposed skin, Shogo closed the distance between them and pressed open-mouthed kisses to his cheek, his jaw and down to his neck. When he was stopped by the barrier that the bathrobe created, he didn’t bother with the clothes but instead travelled back up his neck and breathed into him, taking in his scent and the reaction that his actions were eliciting from Toma. His skin was already beginning to flush red, and even if he had re-applied make-up while Shogo was in the shower – the smell and texture were undeniable when Shogo pressed his lips to his face – there were pink patches flourishing on his neck, where the light foundation hadn’t been applied.

Shogo felt troubled when he looked at Toma’s face. He was still frustrated – or rather, newly frustrated – that Toma didn’t allow him to see his bare skin. He wanted to kiss and devour every inch of him, take him in, make him his. It’s not that he couldn’t do it with the light makeup Toma used, but as much as Shogo wasn’t bothered by petty things, he felt it was something that prevented him from licking his face to his heart’s content. So he settled for his ears.

Mostly unpierced and yet as sensitive, if not even more sensitive than his own, Shogo found Toma’s ears incredibly seducing. Or maybe it was the noises that Toma made whenever he sucked on his ear lobe, graced the shell of his ear with his teeth, or lightly played with the ear canal and licked the ridges that adorned that part of him.

Toma tugged on his clothes, both trying to stay afloat with all the sensations and to get his attention.

“Sho-,” his voice died as his breathing got laboured, shortening the nickname. It sent a flame through Shogo’s lower body, and suddenly he felt restless. Wanting to take things slow, Shogo broke away from Toma and started frantically taking off his bathrobe, because it was annoying, it was getting in the way of things – in the way of their bodies, of feeling and being closer, as close as possible.

Toma laughed lightly, observing him with a loving look in his eyes. And Shogo knew that twinkle was real, that was what confidence and peace looked like. And it turned him on even more.

“How can you be so amazing?” Shogo barely had time to pronounce those words before he was launching himself forward to crush his lips to Toma’s again. His bathrobe was finally discarded to the side of the bed, so he was completely naked, but he didn’t have time to think about the order of things or whether he was being too greedy, or too quick. All he knew is he needed Toma, and he wanted to have him all for himself.

A moan died in Shogo’s throat when he felt Toma’s palm firmly pressed against his member. The muscles on his arms, which were holding him upright above Toma, trembled for a few seconds, and it felt like his head was swimming. How could he have such an effect on him, with just a touch? But it didn’t end with that touch, and Shogo had to break the kiss to get enough air to not embarrass himself by passing out so soon.

His head found shelter on Toma’s collarbone, and he pressed erratic kisses in between gasps. Fortunately, those gasps for air finally took effect, and he realized he couldn’t be losing control so soon. It’s not that he didn’t want Toma taking the reins, it’s that he hated being the one receiving more. So he moved down a little, making Toma’s hand lose contact with his hardness. Instead, Shogo tugged on his bathrobe and more of Toma’s skin came into view. Without hesitation, he used his lips to trace the edge of his nipples, making his lover jump slightly. That is a win, he thought, taking one of them into his mouth and using his tongue to play with it.

A shiver run down Toma’s body, and the hand that had been caressing Shogo quickly travelled up to his own face, to cover his mouth. The other hand grabbed a handful of the sheets, anchoring him in a reality whose edges were beginning to get fuzzy with pleasure.

“Shogo,” the name was both strong and sweet on his lips, and it almost didn’t make it past the hand that was preventing more moans from spilling out.

“Yeah, Toma?”

“I-…” He sighed, frustrated and embarrassed. It was almost like a ritual by then, whenever they were being intimate, Toma would call him by his name, no nicknames, no honorifics, nothing. Just Shogo. He always thought he sounded both in love and desperate whenever he pronounced his lover’s full name, and he felt complicated about it.

“Mmm?” Shogo chirped while sucking on his nipple. He didn’t stop until he felt the bed slightly bounce from Toma’s pleasure. “What is it, Toma?” He finally looked up, and when he saw his face, he was suddenly very aware of how hard he was. Or rather, how hard Toma made him.

His eyes were tightly shut, and his hand was covering half of his face, but he looked incredibly attractive at that moment, and Shogo felt like bitting him, marking him, making him his. He loved how sensitive his skin was, the blush that adorned his ears, making him look healthy and sexy, and the red patches that covered his neck and chest, proof of the heat that was permeating through his body. He wanted to embellish the redness spreading through his body, but he refrained from painting his skin with love bites. He didn’t want Toma to look in the mirror and think that letting go led to ugliness. He wanted to show him that he could be himself and glow. He wished he could take a picture, or get a mirror, and show him how truly beautiful he was. But he also knew that would completely throw Toma out of the moment. So he only traced his skin with delicate kisses, taking in the moans and goosebumps that he was eliciting from his lover.

“Shogo,” he tried again, this time the need and desire pushing him further. “I want more.”

“Mm? More of what?” He teased back.

“I am re–,” a short moan cut him mid-sentence, shaking his whole body, “ready,” he continued once his brain wasn’t filled with fireworks. He wanted Shogo to be quick, to not play around, even if it wasn’t embarrassing for any of them to say things clearly.

“Ready for me to take this off?” Shogo sat up straight, gaining some distance to look at the work of art that was his lover. His chest was flushed and wet with Shogo’s kisses now. It sent an electric current from his brain down to his pulsating lower region. Oh, how he loved seeing his expressions.

Toma nodded briefly, using the hand that wasn’t covering his face to help Shogo in unfastening the bathrobe’s belt completely. As if having been released from a cage, his body sprung up like a flag signalling his desire. Shogo didn’t even have time to think before his body moved and he licked a stripe from the base to the tip. The sudden wet contact made Toma buck his hips.

“I love you so much,” Shogo muttered against his skin, planting kisses on both sides of his hips. Toma felt overwhelmed and light all at once, and for just a moment he almost removed the hand that was covering his face. He wanted to touch Shogo, needed to ground himself through him, needed to feel him, because there was no other way he could correspond to his actions, no other way he could express what he was feeling. Words were not enough, and they didn’t exist in his mind at that moment. Words came later. Now it was only an ever-expanding feeling, an emotion so intense Toma could feel it wasn’t just inside of him, but it existed in the room, enveloping them.

Shogo moved down the bed, enough to plop himself down, and he kissed the inside of one of his thighs. Then, he rested his head on the opposite thigh and looked up, not being able to see much besides the heaving chest of his lover. He snuck a hand up until he found the hand Toma was fisting around the sheets. Like snow melting and turning into liquid, their hands found each other, and their fingers naturally intertwined.

And mimicking that melting of bodies together, that finding and holding and sheltering, Shogo’s tongue began exploring his body, soon enough asking for permission to go deeper. There was a gasp, half moan, half surprise.

“You’re not using lube?” Toma wanted to raise his head and look at Shogo, but his body lacked the strength to do so.

“I don’t need it.”

He thought about complaining, but he really didn’t want to. They had no rush, and nowhere to be – this time belonged to only them, and there were no rules about how long they had to take.

Shogo continued pampering him, losing himself in the reactions his movements caused. The fluttering of muscles, the sounds Toma made, he wished he could keep that in one section of his heart and never forget the moments they had together. Moments where the barriers between them became thinner, so thin Shogo could almost feel their souls pressed against each other.

When everything started feeling like too much, Toma squeezed Shogo’s hand. The signal made him stop and prop himself up to observe him carefully. It was a miracle how Toma could feel his gaze even in the state that he was in, but it was only because Shogo’s gaze was especially intense whenever it was directed at him. In the daze, Toma finally removed his hand from his face in an attempt to see him better – but he didn’t realize that left him exposed. Exposed to Shogo’s eyes, and he almost said thank you to the heavens out loud when he was finally able to see Toma.

His skin was glowing with sweat, and his lips were swollen from all the futile attempts at muffling his moans. His pupils were larger than usual and some of the foundations had started crumbling around his nose and on the space between his eyebrows. His hair was messier in a different way from his usual hairdo – this didn’t necessarily scream fashion, but rather wildness. Some of his bangs were stuck to his forehead and his longer locks were stuck to the sides of his face and neck. The rest was looking rather tangled and spread out, flowing disorderly around him. It wasn’t until Shogo saw that, that he realized how much Toma must’ve moved and thrashed about because of him.

Shogo smiled. It was all he could do, his first and only reaction to getting a bit of what he had always wanted – a raw Toma, naked in a different sense. And his smile was all it took for Toma to hide his expression with his hands.

It wasn’t that Shogo’s reaction was bad, it was the opposite. Toma had hoped but had never truly expected that to happen. He didn’t believe if he showed himself to Shogo, his lover would accept him completely. He couldn’t. There was no way it was possible. He knew he had to stay perfect to be loved. That’s how things worked. And yet, Shogo showed him a different reality. A reality where unconditional love was possible. And it scared him.

If he earned things because he worked hard, it was something tangible, a sort of cause and effect. But how could he claim he was enough without doing anything? And yet, he had seen Shogo’s expression. He would never be able to forget it in his entire life. The look, the feel of that love. A love he had almost stumbled upon. A love that had come naturally. A love that told him he glowed when he was doing his best, but that it was completely fine if he didn’t do his best, too.

How could he live with himself knowing this love? A love that debunked everything he believed in. What was he going to do with himself? If he stayed the same, Toma felt he would be betraying Shogo. But he wasn’t ready to change yet.

Shogo felt his stomach drop when Toma covered his face again. He must’ve hurt him, he was sure. He hadn’t been able to convey his happiness, or maybe what Toma needed wasn’t him getting joy from that.

“Toma,” he quickly crawled up until he was above his body, and gently put a hand to the side of his cheek – the only part of his face that was left uncovered. “Please, look at me.”

“I can’t.” The words were muffled, so he couldn’t tell if his voice was trembling or if it had just been his mind playing tricks.

“I love you,” he said in a low voice, almost whispering. He didn��t want to scare him further, but he wanted to communicate the truth. There was a moment of silence, and then a sound, half sob and half groan.

“I know.” Toma lowered his hands enough to uncover his eyes, and Shogo felt relief wash all over him when he confirmed he wasn’t crying. That made him stumble forward when Toma suddenly surrounded his neck with both of his arms and pulled him into a kiss.

Their bodies crashed together, hearts beating hard and fast. It was a new type of kiss, Shogo noted. He didn’t understand it, but he knew he loved it. The overwhelming assertiveness, Toma’s passion… it felt way more than a kiss, but anything that they did together was more than simple actions.

When Shogo broke the kiss to look again at Toma or to breathe – he wasn’t sure which came first – Toma moved to lavish his ears with little licks and nibbles. They both felt the reaction of his body to that, the throbbing, and yet no sounds came out of him.

“Let me hear you?” It was a breathy whisper, and it made Shogo shiver with pleasure. He loved his voice so much, so he understood that Toma also loved hearing him. It just wasn’t something that came naturally to him. But he was working on it. For now, all he could do was close his eyes and focus on the sensation of Toma kissing his ears. His breathing became heavy and fast quickly, and another throbbing started between their bodies.

He couldn’t hear much besides the wet noises that filled his brain, so when Toma finally stopped feasting on his ears, he wasn’t ready for that look. At some point, Toma must’ve reached for the condom that was on the nightstand, because he was now holding a corner of it between his teeth, making the little plastic bag stick out over his mouth and chin.

“You’re so sexy,” Shogo said before planting kisses all around Toma’s mouth. He then proceeded to take the package from his mouth and ripped it open. While he was placing it on himself, Toma grabbed the lube. Even if he was more than ready thanks to Shogo’s attentions, it never hurt to be extra careful.

Shogo took the lube from him and they exchanged places, Shogo now lying down on the bed, pouring the slightly cold liquid onto his body. Toma straddled him and discarded his bathrobe next to him on the bed after placing the bottle back on the nightstand. He kissed him, feeling a contrast between the coldness that was greeting his exposed back, and the heat that Shogo continued creating in him.

And then, they became one. It was so simple, so natural, they had done it countless times already, and yet every single time felt like the first time. Shogo tried to keep his eyes open to take in Toma’s expression, but he couldn’t fight the intense sensation that urged him to close them. When he opened them again, Toma was already covering half of his face again, only needing one hand to support himself.

It flamed a sense of challenge inside of him. He didn’t want to have to ask him, he wanted to give him so much pleasure it was impossible for him to keep his composure. And so even if it was Toma who started moving on top of him, Shogo couldn’t keep still. He met his thrusts halfway, eliciting muffled moans from his partner.

When Toma felt his strength faltering, he dropped his head forwards, his bangs preventing Shogo from seeing his face clearly.

“We’re changing.” That’s all that Toma managed between pants, his hands now supporting his body.

“What?” Shogo itched to see what face he was making, but as much as he wanted to move, his body didn’t stop thrusting upwards.

“You get on top.” Just a second before Shogo felt the emptiness of not being that intimately connected with him. Toma quickly fell down next to him, face down. But Shogo wasn’t just going to accept making love to him facing his back. Still, he relented at first. He didn’t want Toma to be on guard, and if he needed a moment to not be looked at, he would offer it to him.

He pressed gentle kisses to his back before entering him again. He longed to see his face, he really did, even if one of his hands was covering half of it, but he had to admit now that Toma was facing away from him, he wasn’t holding back his moans anymore. He felt himself grow inside of him, causing Toma’s back to arch a bit more.

He reached around to offer some attention to his front, and Toma jumped a little.

“Is it too much?” Shogo asked bending down and placing his mouth close to his ear. They were so close that he felt Toma shaking his head. He slowed down his pace and moved away some of Toma’s hair with his nose. The action made him turn to the side to look at him, and they naturally united in a messy kiss. When they separated, Shogo felt it was his chance.

“Let me look at you?”

It was the first time he was so direct with that petition. But he had felt something was different now, in that kiss.

Toma didn’t answer at first with words, but Shogo felt him contracting around him. He didn’t know if it was a bad or a good sign, so he completely stopped moving, and started tracing his shoulder blades with kisses again.

“Okay.” It was only one word, but it felt like a weight Shogo didn’t know they were carrying had lifted from both of them. “But I want to be on top.”

Shogo felt his stomach twist with anticipation. He loved how confident he had sounded there.

They exchanged their positions again, and this time Shogo was determined to not lose a single second of Toma’s expressions. But he had other plans before he straddled him. The sensation was so light that Shogo wasn’t sure he was imagining it, but it was Toma’s smile that gave it away.

“Is this okay?” He asked gently and now the light pressure Shogo was feeling on his entrance became clear. Shogo opened his legs more in response. His touch was soft as a feather, and the sensation felt ticklish. Yet, Shogo felt his desire coiling even tighter than before.

Barely ceasing his caress, Toma straddled him again. It was only a few seconds before an explosion of sensations took control of his body. It felt like Toma was stimulating every nerve on his skin, that there wasn’t an inch in his body that didn’t belong to him. And all of it, with a satisfied smile on his face. Shogo wanted to hold him close to his body, to kiss him, to have even more of them intertwine together, but the overwhelming fog in his brain prevented his limbs from obeying him.

Toma liked playing with him in all ways possible. He liked seeing and feeling Shogo coming undone under him, under his touch and his body. He liked how it made him feel powerful and important. He was doing those things to him. And he also liked how it distracted him from his own pleasure, enough to keep a face he knew, enough to control his gestures.

But as much as Shogo was enjoying it, and he loved seeing that satisfied smile on Toma’s face, he couldn’t wait any longer. Not now that he was growing accustomed to the pleasure and he felt he could control his own body again. He unanchored one of his hands from the pillow, wanting to reach him, wanting to give Toma the same amount of overwhelming ecstasy he had received.

It was only one touch, skin to skin, and then a tightness surrounding Toma’s hardness. Enough to make him lose his composure, enough to make him tremble and start showing Shogo what he wanted to see. Just the face he loved so much losing itself to pleasure, muscles relaxing and contracting, mimicking the actions between their bodies. If it wasn’t because he felt like crying with relief, Shogo was sure he would’ve finished then and there. Seeing Toma enjoy himself freely was more than enough to send him over the edge.

“Sho–” Toma’s movements became erratic, almost to the point of not moving at all, and he slouched forward, using both of his hands to support himself.

“Yes, love?” He kept his ministrations on Toma’s member, taking in the little mewls that were coming out of Toma’s open mouth. But he wanted to see more, he wanted to look into Toma’s eyes while they made love. Harbouring that desire, Shogo propelled himself forward, sitting upright and crossing his legs.

Toma looked at him and hugged him, wanting to be anchored at that moment forever. Shogo used the proximity to kiss his neck and shoulders. When Toma finally let go enough for them to look at each other, Shogo’s chest was filled to the brim with happiness.

“I love you, Toma.” He placed the hand that wasn’t busy pleasuring him to his cheek, combing a bit through Toma’s hair so that more of his face was visible.

“I love you so much.” His voice was thick with emotion. He wanted to express his love with more than words, because in that moment he felt words weren’t enough to really make Shogo understand.

Toma combed back Shogo’s bangs that had been sticking to his now sweaty forehead and kissed him. He kissed his forehead, his nose bridge, his eyebrows, his cheekbones.

The gentleness and love gave way to passion and desire, and at some point, the kisses stopped and were replaced with moans. And then, somehow, it was like a competition to make the other reach the finish line first. Shogo started thrusting deeper and faster and continued stimulating Toma’s throbbing member. In turn, Toma coiled his legs around him and pinched and played with Shogo’s nipples.

The ending came when Toma latched his mouth to Shogo’s ear lobe. He moaned and his hips stuttered, breaking the rhythm he had set. He finished before he had hoped, and that surprise pushed Toma over the edge too. Panting, they fell to the mattress on their sides, not wanting to let go of their embrace.

After a few minutes of slow caresses and kisses, their receding body heat made them separate and start cleaning themselves up. Putting on clean underwear, Toma got under the bed sheets first. When Shogo finished putting on his pajamas, Toma stopped him before he could climb to the other bed.

“Won’t you sleep with me?”

It was the first time he ever made such an invitation. Usually, they were practical about it and slept in their individual beds, not wanting to bother each other. He was so surprised he couldn’t even reply but simply moved to Toma’s bed. Getting under the covers, he understood now why he wasn’t wearing any pajamas. Wanting to feel him closer, Shogo took off his top, and they cuddled up together.

Without saying anything else, they fell asleep. Their calm beating hearts, shared touch and the sound of their breath lulled them.

A/N: This was just going to be some smut and then I got hella emotional so this beast came out *looks at wordcount* yeah don’t ask me how that happened.

Masterlist | AO3

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#paradox live #visty #pararai #shogo yamato #toma hikage #shogo x toma #paradox live fanfic #Im still on hiatus I just needed to get this out of my system it has been sitting on my drafts since december so #also this may or may not be me trying to get back into writing I miss it so much *sobs*

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