#this has no correlation with the fact I am also trans

[quotidianish]

ALL I WANT IS TRANSMASC LUZ.. TBOY LUZ… I AM NOT PROJECTING !!!! Maybe that was a lie. I AM PROJECTING!!!!!!!!!!! those darn he/hims…

[qweerhet]

we really, desperately need language to discuss the specific material experiences, and ensuing marginalization, that come from your body visibly differentiating from the sex binary, and are not described by intersex language.

currently, discussions of exorsexism like to point out that "nonbinary" is not a label that meaningfully conveys any information about material experiences, that there is no core "nonbinary transition." this is a line of reasoning that i will accept at its bare bones; it's frequently deployed in the most bad faith contexts i have ever had the misfortune to see, but on its face, the bare facts are true. there are, in fact, plenty of nonbinary people whose medical experiences are indistinguishable from binary trans people's, and whose medical experiences are indistinguishable from cis perisex people's. this is true at higher rates than it is for any other trans demographic, given what a broad coalition "nonbinary" covers. i accept the conclusion that "one's physical traits are not connected to being nonbinary whatsoever, any large-scale patterns are mild correlation at best."

regardless of that, however, there is a specific marginalization that does affect nonbinary trans people at higher rates than cis perisex people or binary trans people when it does occur, and that is the marginalization of bodies that are visibly in violation of the sex binary. this marginalization overlaps quite a lot with intersexism--in fact, an unspoken driving factor in binary transitions is frequently not only to "pass as cis," but specifically to "pass as perisex." however, being intersex is a particular life experience & should not be conflated with otherwise violating the sex binary--the marginalization described here is in solidarity with intersex experiences and overlaps heavily with how intersexism manifests materially, but is not described by that language itself.

to define "violating the sex binary": your body does not align with perisex, cisgender, binary constructs of male and female bodies. someone with breasts and a beard falls under this. someone with testes and a uterus falls under this. someone with breasts, a dropped voice, and testosterone-dominant fat and body hair distribution falls under this. someone with a flat chest, a dropped voice, and estrogen-dominant fat and body hair distribution falls under this. there are many thousands of ways to violate the sex binary.

additionally, visibly violating the sex binary as a "transitional" stage in one's binary transition does involve undergoing this marginalization. this marginalization affects cisgender people whose bodies do not align with the sex binary. it also affects people who actively attempt to hide their sex variations, to varying degrees. binary trans people also experience this marginalization, and are welcome to discuss it and feel out language for it, with the understanding that the experience of someone moving intentionally away from experiencing it is fundamentally not the same as the experience of someone who will always experience it and does not have the options to "hide" or "pass," or the experience of someone who actively wants that body. care should be taken to remember that a large number of people who experience this marginalization are actively pursuing the bodies that are subject to it, not as transitional states, but as fully realized bodies in and of themselves.

this is not a post where i am coining language--that is really not my area of expertise. this is a post where i'm hoping to open up discussion, because the transfeminist sphere on this website has a pretty broad effect on trans language and discourse overall, and the things spoken about and coined here often ripple out into the wider world.

[zibanii]

I am so sick and tired of the falsely politicized science denialism that I see day in and day out.

If you disagree with any of the following statements, your opinion has no correlation to reality. The following are not opinions. They're statements of fact. Politics are irrelevant. If you disagree with any of them, you are objectively, measurably, factually wrong and you can go fuck yourself.

•Climate change is real and it is being caused by the fossil fuel industry.

•Vaccines don't cause autism. They save lives. (Also screw you if you think the autism is worse than smallpox or measles.)

•Covid is not a hoax. It is not overexaggerated. It is a deadly disease that has resulted in more deaths than the entirety of the Napoleonic wars, and would have resulted in more if not for the vaccine developers that science deniers insist on ignoring

•Trans women are women and trans men are men. And just so were crystal clear, that means that sometimes women have a y chromosome, and sometimes men only have X chromosomes. Science is not transphobic.

•Homosexuality has been found in 1500 different species. It is extremely natural.

•Humanity came about as a result of evolution.

•Bonus round: the Earth is not flat. Humanity figured this out over 2,000 years ago. Catch up. If you've ever worked for the government, you know that it couldn't keep a secret like this for longer than a week

[olderthannetfic]

Re: m/m vs everything else

My fandom has an oddly high number of straight women, and the most popular ship is m/m and the second is m/f. I always attributed it to these women not understanding what it means to be attracted to another woman, but they do understand attraction to men. Hence, writing men attracted to each other.

That's obviously a generalization, but it seems to fit with the pattern I've encountered.

(And there's definitely a correlation between women writing m/m and internalized misogyny, but that's a whole other discussion.)

--

LOL.

Do you know how many times some smug little twit has said these things to me? They were nonsense in the 90s and they're nonsense now.

How do you know those fans are straight women?

How do you know what the average in other fandoms is such that you know the number is higher?

No, there is no correlation.

And, in fact, it's not a whole other discussion. It's the same "Only I am a good fan, unlike those girls" crap you're peddling in this post.

Not liking f/f because you want to fuck men and not women is not a matter of not understanding. I think plenty of people who are not attracted to women understand fine. Hell, I know straight women who like female-centric porn, including f/f, because it shows a body like theirs having fun.

It's a matter of writing what is hot to oneself. People write what is fun for them. It's no deeper than that.

Maybe you don't see the distinction, but I do. The way you phrased it downplays the centrality and positiveness of HORNY as a reason for art. Too often, these intellectual explanations sound like they're written by people who don't understand what lust even is.

If you do want a deeper reason, women, including the most cishet woman ever, are made by culture to feel uncomfortable in their own skins. Insisting that women write female characters is saying they can't even daydream about another scenario. They should be shackled to their physical body at all times. Would we say this to a trans person? Your physical body defines you?

Oh, patriarchal society scarred you? Oh, you don't like doing 90% of the work to figure out how to write female characters when media didn't teach you and the media you enjoy has few great ones? Well, just get over it. Doesn't matter what you enjoy. Your art is for the benefit of others, not for enjoyment.

It's some Calvinist anti-pleasure, anti-leisure crap.

It's also some radfem "prioritize women always" bullshit.

--

Someone has internalized shitty views here, but it's not those writers.

[earhartsplane]

Just watched the last philosophy tube. It is excellent, but there is a minor point that bugged me a little, so I thought I'd exorcised it by making a post. (Yes, I know, random tumblr user has notes for extremely successful youtuber, more at 6)

So around minute 9, she talks bout how a strict legal definition is not necessary in order to protect women. The example given is the one of hate crimes: If an applicant for a job is rejected on the grounds that they are perceived as a woman, it does not matter whether or not they are a woman. The employer is still guilty of illegal discrimination. Good point. A bit later in the video, she brings up the fact that in the UK, trans women are jailed in men's prisons. The point made is that trans women are labelled as dangerous to other inmates without any evidence of this danger. Also a good point.

But this is an example of when one does need a working definition of women, since prison are segregated by gender. Moreover, a definition is needed in order to protect women, since as she puts it "this policy makes prison significantly worse for a segment of the population".

I started typing about how we use categories as shorthands for the diversity of humans experience for practical reasons, even though no strict definition will work 100% of the time, and about the consequence of this, which is that any defnition used should be chosen while keeping in mind why this gender segregation exists, what does it seek to accomplish, and whether or not gender is the most appropriate criteria.Then I remembered that Mia Mulder has an excellent video on this about women's sport, so I'll just put it there.

I find it hard to write about this subject without getting sucked into tangents (which perhaps explains why it is glossed over in the video). Just writing this, I looked up how the gender segregation in prison worked in my country, then the overpopulation in women's facilities, then the overpopulation in general (114% occupancy rate, third worse in the EU), then the rise in the carceral population and its de-correlation with the crime rate, then the expeditive measures being adopted which will without a doubt make things worse as the Olympics Games loom ever closer (no prizes for guessing which country that is).

I also know that I am getting a bit internet-poisoned because I fought the urge to pre-emptively answer every bad faith argument that could possibly be made, so I'll cut it short. Let me reiterate. I fully agree with the points that are made in the video. I understand that time is a factor in what is and is not included in a video. I just wish this particular point was made a little better.

[rivetgoth]

My relationship to gender as something physical has left me feeling soooo displaced within the wider trans community haha... When I try to conceptualize my gender or gender identity it is so purely through the physical lens; in that regard I would consider myself “nonbinary” because I actively have chosen to live outside of the preconceived sex binary. I don’t think my sex is male or female necessarily because I am actively choosing to defy my assigned sex but also recreate my body in a way that is sexually dimorphic, taking advantage of the sexual characteristics I had that I want while ridding myself of the ones I don’t want and adding on the things I want that I didn’t have. I think my desire and active choosing to be a man with a vagina and a penis is something that inherently puts me outside of the sex binary but I don’t consider myself “nonbinary” as an identity in any way at all. I consider myself a man because that’s my target socially. I want to be he/him’d I want to be seen as whatever the hell “man” entails because that is what best correlates to my view of my physical self and my altered sex. I experience life as a man with a vagina, this is objective fact based on the way I am perceived socially and the lengths I’ve gone through to change my body to fit my liking. This is not a binary or normative experience of sex or gender. If gender did not exist in a meaningful way I would still desire to look like this and have these body parts but devoid of a desire to be referred to a specific way. Does that make sense...? I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it; I saw a big LGBT organization do a survey recently that I tried to partake in and I realized how removed I feel from the mainstream trans experience when the opening questions were like, “Do you consider yourself transgender? Do you consider yourself nonbinary?” and immediately my first instinct is to say no to the former and yes to the latter despite identifying fully as a “binary” man after having been assigned female at birth and undergoing years of gender-affirming treatment or whatever the current term for that is, so like, it should be the opposite. But my experience with dysphoria is so physical and my identity is so tied into the physical desire to reshape and craft my own flesh to suit my liking that I find myself just floundering to figure out how to conversate with the current mainstream trans community to the point it almost feels like I’m not “transgender” per se at all but some other thing. I think the trans community is too obsessed with the idea of “nonbinary” being some definable identity of its own instead of a state of being... I don’t know if this means anything.

[muji-milk]

diff anon, but i’m wondering if the immediate referral to (potential) medical service has anything to do with the fact that access to that service is related to why many young trans people attempt suicide. the medical community knows the statistics and knows that it’s life saving care for many young trans people, so even just referring them there could be life saving. that doesn’t necessarily negate your point about needing more counselors involved in the process, though. perhaps there should be psychological counseling during the waiting process. i’d imagine that might lead them to be vulnerable to the not-always-impartial whim of a psychologist though. (also i’ve been following you since your gender confusion era and even *I* nearly unfollowed you at first because putting ‘affirmation’ in quotes is big terf energy. figured i’d give you a chance to explain.)

I put affirmation in quote marks just to emphasize the word, not to show a disbelief or dismissal of the service. I agree that it can and has saved lives.

However, I also think that viewing my words as terf energy is....ridiculous. TERF rhetoric is a very specific thing, but this acronym is used so frequently to quiet someone who raises a concern about gender issues that doesn't immediately align with 100% support for affirmation, that it has become diluted. We should reserve terf for what it is - some chronically online feminists who do not believe trans people are sane/real and would rather ignore/eradicate them. A terf is not anyone who wants to discuss shortcomings in the current medical approach to dysphoria. The more we bandy around a word like terf when someone attempts to discuss an alternative view, the more people are going to give up and go "yeah well then i am a terf". And we get nowhere.

Anyway!

I do agree the waiting process is flawed. Even when someone is a fully prepared and intentional, they still just have to wait for sometimes 1-2 years; and in the meantime there's nothing really provided. I think that this waiting period can be what drives some people to a more dysphoric state, because their desired outcome is almost in their grasp and they may get tunnel vision towards it.

I also think that the constant reference to affirmation service as 'lifesaving' puts so much pressure on everyone; the clinics, the young patients, the parents of young patients. It makes it look like the only option if you want to be happy and not die. And if you don't send your child there, they will die. You know what was life saving for me? Not transitioning. Spending lots of time thinking and realising things about myself. Going to counseling to talk through other things unrelated to gender. Getting out of my solitary bubble.

But, big but; because I never formally began the medical transition process (only socially) I am not a measurable statistic. I never became a patient to a clinic, so my experience is not traceable. Those who medically transition are a quantifiable group. Those who commit suicide are also a quantifiable group. We can use these 2 data sets to show the correlation; affirmation = lifesaving. But there's is no data on the amount of people like me who went through phases and changed their minds and are happier because they came out of that phase rather than following through. It shouldn't be controversial and 'terfy' to tell young people "sometimes it is just a phase" - phases are valid and help us discover things about ourselves, and the end result after the phases can be something we didn't expect.

So to constantly present 'affirmation' as the only lifesaver creates very loaded ideas in the individual's mind; you feel this is the route to your true self, you see older people saying they wish they'd done it sooner, you read encouraging statistics about people's life after transition, and you read depressing statistics about those who kill themselves because their family wont let them access transition when they're a teen; and then you have to sit around waiting for 2 years, getting more desperate to reach that 'lifesaver' with all this info in your head potentially blinding you to other possibilities of growth and expression and the lives you could lead if it does turn out to be a phase.

[polyamorouspunk]

I have nothing worthwhile to contribute to this conversation other than the fact that I am a queer trans person who's very alt and it gives me a lot of comfort that other queer people can hopefully tell I'm genderfucky from it even though I'm closeted.

Anyways the real reason for this ask is because it's reminding me of last week when I was talking to this really cool and cute metalhead guy and he said "As a straight man" and I immediately went "I'm sorry, as a WHAT" cause I was so certain this guy was bisexual

(He did say he's not 100% sure he's straight though so like... 👀)

Yeah! I mean like there are a lot of “straight” people that align themselves with queer people and then find out that they are not in fact cishet… and then there are people who align themselves with queer people and maybe they always will be cishet… there’s always a large overlap too with being queer and being neurodivergent or disabled, etc. There are times I 100% dress “straight” on purpose to better blend in with the cishet community but I mean I’m always going to have short or colorful hair too. The day I made that post actually at work I ended up catching the eye of someone who was really cute and we were exchanging glances and I could tell they were queer because of the glances we were exchanging and I told my manager, who is an open flamboyant black gay man, like they were checking out and he was on the other side of the cashier on the computer and I was behind them and I was like waving and mouthing “she’s cute!!!” And pointing at her and he was laughing. And then Wednesday I went to the school library because I had time to kill and I ended up sitting at a table next to someone with aqua hair that was super short and they had like anime keychains and stuff so when they left I said I liked their hair and they were totally some flavor of not cis and me saying I liked their hair was my way of telling them “hello fellow queer person”. And we do dress that way because, to give an example, I have someone in my class who is genderfluid, and I know this because I noticed they aligned themselves with me and the other visible queer trans guy in my class, so I offered to give them a friendship bracelet with their flags and they were like oh I’m genderfluid and bi and I’m like oh okay! But they live in a strict household where they aren’t allowed to cut or dye their hair or get tattoos or anything like me and the trans guy are, and I feel bad because they want to! They want to look like we do! And before we part ways for the semester I want to try and give them tips to kind of… transition slowly into becoming more alt hopefully in a way that their parents will adjust to even just a little. That’s what it’s about. They saw me and someone else who has even more gender fuckery than me and latched onto us as someone who is forced to be in the closet. It’s about being able to make eye contact with people at your store and have that level of attraction and knowing it’s mutual because I have green hair and Look Gay and they dressed Gay and we can have that kind of “you’re cute” “you’re cute too” look at each other. It’s about “I like your hair” as a way to say “hello, I see you, fellow queer person”. And there’s no reason cishet people can’t participate in that, but when we do all this on purpose it’s simply incorrect, both historically and now to say that there’s no correlation.

But also 👀

[fatfables]

Lyle & Kyle

My thoughts on my favourite online fatties by Jason.

According to Mark Twain, “Denial is not just a river in Egypt.” And it’s not. It’s a ghost town in Arizona. Only it’s spelt Denile. Only that’s not true either. I just made that up. It sounds like it could be though. I can just imagine a lone gunman played by someone like Clint Eastwood or John Wayne standing outside the saloon in Denile, twelve noon, eighteen hundred and seventy three, staring down the barrel of a gun, aimed straight at them by a man in a black hat. “Fuck you,” Clint Wayne would spit at his dark refection, John Eastwood. Who would fire and miss. Though no one ever said, “fuck you” in a John Ford movie. But they would in Denile. People in denial always say “fuck you.” They can’t accept any self blame. Awareness is shameful.

My name is Jason. Jason Tile. A strange name for a strange guy. I am ADHD but not a bit aspergers. No matter what anyone else says. My intense interests are the Wild West, Egyptian history, and words that rhyme. I also use the Oxford comma. My obsession, though, is fat guys. Did you know that there’s a correlation, if not a direct causal relationship, between neuro-diversity and adipophilia? Adipophilia means a sexual attraction to fat people. I made that up as well. Not the meaning of adipophilia, that’s correct. I mean the correlation between neural-divergence and like gaining and feeding and all that stuff. I made that bit up. Though that doesn’t make it not true. I suspect that it may be true. I don’t think anyone has ever researched it properly. A lack of facts doesn’t disprove something, it means just that; that there is a lack of facts.

People who are into gaining tend not to like researchers and psychologists and the like. They seem to distrust them. They tend to ban them from their websites as if they don’t want to understand the reasons why they are like they are. I think that they think that I think that because they are worthy of study that there must be something wrong with them. But that’s their own bad. I think that they are scared of their own difference, and are afraid to admit it. 

Intersectionality becomes irrelevant when you’re a gainer because gaining goes against all social norms. It doesn’t matter if you’re hetero or homo-normative, black, white, yellow, arab, cis, or trans. Or even a cis-phobic pan-Arab, like say, Gamal Abdel Nasser in a dress. That man was ahead of his time. Isis would have approved. It’s not situational either. Time and place have no relevance in this equation. It may be linked to personality. That is state or trait. Maybe it's genetics? It may be because you have low self-esteem? Because Mommy didn’t love you enough? Or maybe, Daddy loved you too much? If you get what I mean? Like say if like, Uncle Bad Touch, loved you too hard? Now you get it. Sorry if that was insensitive.

Maybe it’s genetic? Maybe it really is your sexuality? Or maybe it’s a kink that you developed cos you happened to fall down that particular online rabbit hole? Sexuality is nature and kink is nurture. That’s what Daddy told me. Joke.

I’ve just read back over the last paragraph and realised that I mentioned Isis. I of course mean the Egyptian God and not the murderously insanely genocidal islamist cult. They didn’t approve of anything as far as I can tell. God knows what they did to the gainers? 

There must have been some gainers living under the Islamic State between 2015 and 2019? I mean they controlled an area containing like twelve million people. It must be a statistical certainty. Unless of course purposeful weight gain is caused by environmental factors? In which case being brought up in Hershey, Pennsylvania is more likely to cause you to bust a nut to a fat guy than like being born in like Fallujah is, right?

I hope no gainers suffered under the tyranny of the Islamic State. They have enough bullshit to deal with already. If I could do my Phd then I would like to study this. Not the islamic state thing, that would be impossible. I mean like the link between neuro-diversity, social normativity, and gainerism. But I can't because I’m still in high school.

Lyle and Kyle are from Carlisle. Not Carlisle, Pennsylvania. Which is just west of Harrisburg, 36.3 miles from Hershey if you take I-81. No, they are from Carlisle, Cumbria. Which is in the north of England.

Carlisle, Cumbria , is a shit hole. Not my opinion, but the opinion of the internet. I’ve never been there, obviously. I just looked it up. It looks miserable. The sort of place that the Islamic State wouldn’t bother with under the assumption that it was already fucked. No wonder they’ve chosen to eat themselves to death. I think that Osiris might live in Carlisle.

To the best of my knowledge Lyle and Kyle don't have any interest in the Wild West. Not even Spaghetti Westerns, despite their apparent love of pasta. They don’t seem to be very culturally aware and their names don't suit them. Too Americanised by far. It makes them sound like they are from Denile, or maybe Scottsdale.

Not that I’m saying that anyone called Kyle or Lyle, who happen to be from Scottsdale are culturally aware. Clearly not. Stereotypes exist for a reason. Those guys are still eating plain pepperoni and laughing their asses off to Borat DVD’s despite the fact that it’s 2024. Like they don’t understand what cultural superiority is. Because they don’t. As an American I’m offended by everything that Sacha Baron Cohen ever did, and rightly so. Fuck that guy. Wayne Eastwood should shoot him in the balls. And I don’t mean secretly from behind a side door, like in, The Man that Shot Liberty Valance. I mean straight in his fucking face like some damn bad ass nigga from Straight Outa Denial.

Anyway, back to Lyle and Kyle. I struggle to focus sometimes, unlike the eye of Horus. They lived in denial in Carlisle. In Cumbria. In the north of England. Close to the Scottish border. In a grey council house (grey is British English for gray). A council house means like a government subsidised house. Their names didn’t suit them. They should have been called something more like Derek and Clive. Their parents lived on welfare and hence so did they. Yet they were both fat as fuck, but that’s European socialism for you. Funding the gaining life through tax payer pounds or euros. Being fat may be an American lifestyle choice but in England it’s subsidised. McDonald’s ala socialism. A license to print money.

I found them on TikTok (at least that’s an indication of entrepreneurship, right?). They only had like a hundred followers but I like became addicted to them anyway. They wore terrible training clothes, despite the fact that they’ve clearly never even heard of a gym. Kind of like some people in the southern states do. Only worse. Elasticated waists are cheap and comfortable for the overweight class. They dance, provocatively, shaking their tracksuited fat asses. I love it. It never occurred to me to ask who was filming. With every clip they got fatter. I love it. I hope that Anubis will take care of them.

Anyway, here’s my poem, Mr Stanton (552 lbs). I hope you like it. I really want to get an A in English.

Lyle and Kyle lived in Denial

Though they came from Cumbria

Not from Arizona or Pennsylvania 

I don’t think they liked Westerns

Although they were like my best uns

They had appetites like Dionysus

Though they didn't work like the rest of us

Living in an un-American world of welfare

In later life they would’ve needed the free health care

(That the British state provides ‘um)

Time spent eating they liked to beguile

Sexy fat asses and bellies from Carlisle

Their innocence I would’ve liked to defile

Lyle and Kyle x

It’s not me but their Dad or uncle that should be on trial

I’m age appropriate so no complaint you need to file

It’s whoever laid them under the patio that’s the fucking peadophile

www.fatfables.com

[chaserofstarsandtheabyss]

2, 7, 10 and 14 for the pride asks

Thank you for the ask!!

2. Do you like to use the term queer for yourself? Or just LGBT, etc?

I love using the word queer for myself. I feel that it’s a good descriptor of who I am, and it also is general enough that if I don’t feel like explaining my identity, queer is a good catch-all. I also just like the way queer sounds.

7. Are you the “token” queer person in your family?

My family likes to pretend that I’m not queer, so they mostly just ignore it. So I would not be the token queer person. Even if they did start acknowledging the fact that I’m queer, both my auncle and one of my aunts are queer, so I would not be the token person.

10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you’re cis or trans).

It’s hard to say, I don’t get gender euphoria all that often. When I cut my hair short I was incredibly happy, I got gender euphoria looking in the mirror. I need to cut my hair again. I also remember wearing a suit coat and getting gender euphoria at the way it looked. I tend to take tons of pictures if I have gender euphoria, because I get excited about my appearance.

14. How do you think neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

I remember my former therapist asking me a similar question. I can’t separate out my neurodivergency or background from parts of my queer identity, they’re intertwined, even if there are labels and boxes that appear to separate them. I can’t say for sure how it impacted my identity, because my brain and my backstory won’t ever change, but I can make some guesses.

I would say that my neurodivergency has impacted my identity by my lack of understanding or even care for social cues. There have been studies about a correlation between autism and gender non-conformance, so that may have an impact on each other. My mother’s insistence that any friend I had that was a boy had to be my crush, and that any girl I potentially had feelings for was someone I only respected, may have led me to realize that I’m biromantic much later in life. Although I’m not sure, it’s hard to say how different things influenced my identity.

[autumntri]

Broader conversation about "small and big dick energy"

I frequent the website called "reddit." I know I know, big cringe! But that is the unfortunate truth. I have only recently made my latest account, primarily to get tech support when google searches don't land the results I'm looking for. It's indicative of how shitty the internet has become that anytime you look for actual advice or support, you have to add "reddit" to the end of your search to get real responses, since half of the time the responses are AI generated articles that do not provide actual instructions or make taking in the information more difficult simply because of how it's written. Apparently AI is "advanced" though, so advanced it can supposedly make art! This and other blatantly contradictory sentiments, more at 11.

There has been this discourse on reddit lately about the concept of "small dick energy" and whether it engages in the same sort of body shaming that we are critical of in other ways, such as when someone is made to feel bad for their guilt or certain immutable, unchangeable qualities about their appearance. For example, for me this is cleft palette, this was something I was made to feel bad for growing up, because my corrective surgery from infancy has permanently altered the way my lips look.

But does "small dick energy" fall into the definition of body shaming? The answer is yes, of course it does. You would have to be silly to not say so. Full disclosure, I have a small penis but I have been told I have "big dick energy," which I have actually corrected on the spot before because I'm not particularly interested in engaging in this sort of thing. If I was at one point, I'm at a point in my life now where I'm totally not.

This is to say I'm not going to spend this post shaming people that currently do it, because these things are societally reinforced! You cannot simply "opt out" of this if you are a modern human, connected to globalized networks of communication. The internet is a basic necessity for modern life, unfortunately. If you were to try to leave, you'll find your opportunities limiting.

With that out of the way, what actually makes "small dick energy" different from other forms of body shaming? I've heard the take that it's not actually about the size of someones dick, but rather its about their "insecurity." Oooh, it's about insecurity! So that's why I have to say their penis must be physically small, or that they come off like they have a physically small penis. Oh okay that makes a lot of sense, that's definitely directly correlated to... a personal feeling of confidence in yourself?

So then why must an aspect of someone's physical characteristics come into play? There are A LOT of insecure fat people, but we never say someone has "obesity energy" or "thin energy." Would it be okay if we did? Or is it not because that disproportionately affects the feelings of women and we, societally, have signed off on the feelings of men? I feel WAY more insecure about my weight than my penis size. (Though I am also a trans woman so, maybe I'm biased. I'm more bothered by it being there at all personally. :P)

As well, in the same way that there are so many products that market to men insecure about their size, like "penis enlargement pills/pumps," there are a slew of diet plans that exist to address the insecurities of overweight people, either by enabling them with HAES diets or by telling them that they'll look so much better than everyone around them if they lost weight and that acting as encouragement for their future dietary plans.

On this note, why do we make exceptions for women's feelings? How are woman's feelings more important than men's feelings? Both should be given equal gravity and respect and it's the fact that we don't that alienates young white men and casts them out for unsavory influences to swoop up. Sorry, I know we're just supposed to circlejerk about hating white people and white men and how they're literally the devil and are responsible for all of our current problems but let's be truthful for a moment and acknowledge it's all of our faults when these men are so socially atomized to the point that they fall into the arms of horrible people, like Andrew Tate and Elon Musk and Sneako.

I would also like to address just the casual ableism around this conversation too, those that defend shaming men with small dicks will say that "It is obvious what we're really saying! We're not actually saying it's bad to have a small dick, It is obvious and very apparent and clear that it's really about insecurity!"

As an autistic person, and as someone with borderline personality disorder, these conditions make nuance very hard for me to understand and makes picking up on social cues hard. I have to actively work on not seeing the world through a black and white lens and because of my personality disorder, because I didn't even know what was wrong with me because no one would talk to me, I never really interacted with other human beings for a very long time and therefore, never had an opportunity to pick up on these things. As well, both of these conditions make it very hard for me to process emotions and I tend to feel them much more intensely and for much longer periods of time.

It's really not my fault that I don't understand what it is you're actually saying and yes, the onus is on you to explain. As well, I am entitled to my opinion that what you're saying is still fundamentally hurtful. It is not "obvious to anyone with half of a brain" that you insulting someone's physical appearance isn't you actually insulting someone's physical appearance.

What is actually wrong with just calling someone insecure? If "small dick energy" means that someone is insecure, why not just say that directly? Why do you need to put someone's physical appearance into it? What, are you scared they're going to retaliate or argue with you? Either way that's probably going to happen, but you're going to have the high ground because you don't start with insulting someones appearance. If what it is you value is being morally superior, that is. Which for many Redditors, it definitely is, especially for those that feel the need to have the "correct" opinion on every single issue and to be plugged into the discourse at all times.

This discourse started with a tweet of Greta Thunberg saying that Andrew Tate had "small dick energy." Do I feel like Andrew Tate needs defense? Not at all, and I hope something I can't say on here happens to that bastard, personally. This isn't me playing defense for someone that definitely doesn't need it, but this is to question the justifications for casual cruelty towards men.

[havana-great-time]

September 25th, 2022. La Habana.

Mis corazones —

The days pass like sand through my fingers here, a blurry haze of lazy mornings, bright sunshine, and pleasant company. After class on Friday, we wandered around together before finding a restaurant to celebrate the birthday of one of our company. Accompanied by quite excellent Lebanese food, we spent a pleasant evening together; and afterwards, on the Malecón, shared the pleasure of ten students trying to figure out how to light a birthday cigar. Ultimately, they resorted to consulting our excellent mutual friend Google, but it was far more entertaining to watch than I had ever expected.

On Saturday, upon finally purchasing a permanent phone line, I walked to Habana Vieja, taking advantage of sexism and male company to avoid the otherwise endless conversations with people intending to sell me their wares. I spent much of my time recording posters and signs for the Código, though I did manage to call my family and learned that my youngest of sisters has begun to walk. What wonderful news!

Today, however, I once again met with my dearest love. She is changeable, as is her wont; in fact, with the coming hurricane, her waves are growing and her turbulence is deepening. Yet on the fine white sands, she is gentle, soft against my skin, and warmer than I have ever encountered her before. Her breeze leaves my lips pleasantly salty. And there is nothing to interrupt the blue expanse, ranging from a deep midnight blue to a sandy white, save for filmy wisps of cloud. Truly there is but little that can compare to the wonderful beauty of the ocean!

On our walk back, we were further blessed by the freshness of a gathering storm, likely thanks to the hurricane that will pass over the island for the next few days, in addition to the notice of cancelled classes for most of this week. As destructive of a reminder of the ocean's power they are, storms, too, share her incalculable beauty.

Once home, I got drawn into another conversation about the Código, this time by my host great-aunt and great-grandfather. At 89, he voted yes without any hesitation; she, technically residing in Spain when not caring for her father, did not get to vote, but did take time to lecture me on the importance of respecting all people, leaving women alone even if they are unaccompanied in public, and the rights of trans individuals. Let it be known I heartily agreed to all of her points. Though by no means representative of the entire society — certainly, university students are of quite the same views as at home — it is interesting that in my host family, age seems to be directly correlated with support for the Código. The great-grandfather voted yes without question; the grandmother generally seemed to view it positively; the mother was conflicted; the teenager openly identified himself as homophobic. At least here, this response is also fairly directly linked to support for the government, which is as fascinating in itself as it is in combination with the Código.

Kisses to you all!

MICHA.

PS. The sun, however, could never be so kind nor so beautiful as my beloved ocean. I am crispy.

[genderkoolaid]

hey there!!!! I love your blog and i cannot express how thankful i am regarding how you talk about transandrophobia!!! as a feminine trans guy/transmasc girl, i really relate to so many of your posts 😭😭😭

anyways, i just finished read the "i am a trans woman. i am in the closet. i am not coming out" article for the umpteenth time and because it hurts. so. bad. so. good!!! it got me really thinking about how wrong those "misandrist" jokes are, and i'm thinking about how my beliefs were so much black and white regarding who's privileged who's not, and i admit i used to withheld sympathy towards people whom i deem "more privileged" than me (often times whom it's dictated by those misandrist feminists) before i step back for a moment from the damn internet and get a new perspective after that.

I also wish that people talk more about the correlation between doomscrolling "activism" and how easily we all fell into easily digestible misinformation; like, i used to doomscroll thinking that i have to be defending "the most marginalized" and what i end up doing is that i am doing "activism" in a way that is... idk, "blindly loyal" to things that are popular at that time, e.g. hating men. Like, i see that a lot of people who are more performative in their activism are often terminally online, they exhaust themselves doing things that don't actually matter, and they end up don't see the bigger picture because they're out of energy

sorry if this is long, all in all i really adore your blog and i have thoughts lmao

I think you have a really good point w/ doomscrolling and the problems with how we view activism. Constantly taking a large amount of "the world is awful and everybody with power makes the cruelest choices possible" tends to make people pretty bitter, it's easy to see how seeing people then trying to discuss things like men's issues makes people pissed off. I try to space out more serious posts with positive/lighthearted stuff when I can for that reason because I don't want my blog to just be "Things Are Really Bad!" 100% of the time (altho since so many of our issues are ignored, pointing out that Things Are In Fact Bad is important). I can't help but feel the way that the internet right now is so based around algorithms and calculating what gets the most views, and the way that online activism is focused on seeing who has the most Oppression Points in the game, are correlated somehow (humans really want humans to be easily calculable and we are. not!)

[neverwritewhatyouknow]

Got a message from an anon that I don’t feel like fully validating right now, but they said that I was “crucifying” Casey.

… Now… let me just quickly explain how that’s not what I’m doing.

What I’m doing is holding people accountable. And definitely not just Casey. In fact, only once did I ever single out Casey publicly. I’ve been holding the entire movie accountable. And not just for not casting a Jewish actress, but for ignoring the antisemitism that’s abundant in the RWRB fandom. The ask didn’t mention the antisemitism and/or Jew erasure from RWRB fans, just said I was being mean to Casey and that it was “really really weird.” You know what I find weird? The director and EP of the movie both seeing blatant antisemitic hate and ignoring it. So what am I doing? I’m holding them accountable for their actions, or better yet, their inaction.

They also mentioned how there should be conversation about not casting Jews, because Hollywood (and the mcu) does it and that’s the norm. First: There was a shit ton of backlash after they cast Oscar in MoonKnight. Second: How do people think conversations start? It’s not with the biggest people in Hollywood waking up one day and going “we should talk about making this drastic change.” No. It’s with someone at the top having to acknowledge it. And that’s what I’m doing. I’m making them acknowledge it, so that there can be a conversation started. Hollywood doesn’t want to talk about this, so yeah, I’m forcing it out, but that’s because it will literally never happen any other way. Change in this industry comes from the top, or from millions of people at the bottom. I’m one person, therefore— I have to hit from the top.

Oh and apparently I “compare Jews to queers and POC”s? I know why they said this. I also know that this is a reach. They said this because, likely, they were on the discord where someone said something like: “Jews aren’t needed on screen when there’s so many minorities off screen, like the director.” And I replied “It’s great that the director is Hispanic, but that means nothing when it comes to the erasure of Jews.”

Because… it doesn’t mean anything. The director is a minority, that’s great, I love that. But it doesn’t mean that Jews aren’t needed on screen. There’s no correlation between the two. Like, there’s zero correlation. But apparently since I said that, I’m a racist now. Also, “I compare Jews and Queer people” no. I compared the logic people were using to invalidate Nora. People said that since it was only mentioned once that Nora was Jewish, that she wasn’t. I said there were other things that were only mentioned once too, like Amy being trans, or Nora being bi, and that it’s ridiculous logic for something to have to be mentioned more than once to be valid. I used their very own logic against them to show that something being mentioned once doesn’t matter— it’s still who they are, but apparently that makes me queer-phobic…?

My fave part was that the Ask began with “So turns out you’re right about Nora being Jewish” …She always was. Explicitly. I didn’t turn out to be right, I’ve always been right. You’ve just decided to believe me, because I showed you proof you were no longer able to deny or contradict, like you’ve been doing. Flipping yourself in circles to make Nora not Jewish.

I read over the ask again: editing to add 2 more things.

1. They said how do I know people read what I sent (meaning the emails, and DMs, Twitter, etc)— because insta has read receipts (Director) and he blocked me on Twitter and the first thing showed some of the hate, so if he clicked on it at all (which he had to do to even see what it was at all), he saw it (EP). LinkedIn has read receipts. The emails— that’s harder to know. I put the gmail thing that has the notification when it’s read, but I’m putting more weight into the fact that they have the email and therefore have all the facts.

2. They said my constant “crucifying” of Casey was tiring!! I love stuff like this! Literally! I’m so glad I’m making the people who won’t stand up with me tired, it gives me more room. And also, you don’t think fighting against antisemitism is tiring? It is. I do it anyway because I know it’s the right thing to do.

[crushing-on-nico-di-angelo]

This is kind of a random question but...

Do you know why people hate Rick Riordan?

I just have no information, and I’ve seen a lot of stuff lately talking about how he’s problematic.

hi!! yes, I've seen things about this as well. I can list the reasons I've seen. I don't agree with all the points made, but its just what I've seen and I think it may answer your question. I also recommend going through the tag #rr crit, as it will give you a lot more and detailed information regarding him (beware: there are quite a few buzzwords. I recommend taking the facts and forming your own conclusions). I also think it's important to note that many people don't hate him, but they acknowledge that since he's a cishet white man there's things he didn't handle well and he needs to listen to critisicm.

Completely mishandled Piper's native American heritage. From the feather in her hair, to her dad being from a reservation that doesn't exist in Oklahoma, to having kaleidoscope eyes (some say that it suggests brown eyes aren't beautiful enough for aphrodite, more on this in the next bullet), to being a kleptomaniac, her character is, ignorantly or purposefully, chock full of stereotypes. having a cornucopia being her weapon. when Rick was told that this isn't good he became defensive and didn't listen to any critisicm

not giving female characters chances to be young, or not have a boyfriend or be unconventionally attractive. if they do get to not have a boyfriend, they're thrown into the Hunters of Artemis. their eyes are anything but brown (I do disagree with the eye thing but it's important to note), suggesting that having brown eyes should be considered less than. Sadie got a 1000 year old boyfriend when she was 14. 13 year old Hazel had a 16 year old boyfriend-- that could be a seventh grader and a junior or a freshman and sophomore depending on how you look at it (and I LOVE frazel, don't get me wrong. the age gap is just,,). in fact, the only female non-hunter without a significant other I can name is Meg, and she's 12.

Sadie Kane and the fanart he boosts of her. he frequently shows her looking completely white, despite saying she "stood out in class for being mixed." It honestly wouldn't surprise me if a white girl were cast to play her in the Netflix movies.

treatment of characters with invisible disabilities. this can range from the coment of "You anemic loser" targeted at Octavian (as someone with an iron deficiency, I don't see anything wrong with it, but cmon. kids can see that, rick. you can't control anemia) to Clovis' chronic fatigue being treated as a joke. invisible disabilities are hard and just as painful as physical ones. it doesn't help if you treat them like that.

too much misogyny to list all of it, but we can start with young girls being expected to be, and acting, more mature than they are; the strong female characters portraying the "I'm not like other girls" trope; the entire way Hera was treated.

The way Nico's outing was handled (this is one I especially disagree with, and this post said it best, thanks ghost). A violent outing by the God of love taking place before Nico was ready, according to some, was not what younger gay people needed to see. he should have had a loving environment and, at the very least, it should have been from his own point of view and not Jason's.

anti-acne and fat phobia: Apollo having a deep hatred towards his acne and Frank's glow up including severe weight loss (not being a cuddly teddybear anymore, getting taller) isn't the best thing for kids who have acne or are fat to see.

Samirah al-Abbas: "reversing the stereotype (Rick's words)" of an arranged marriage by having her be in love with a distant cousin is... not reversing the stereotype at all actually. it just falls into it. Having her take off her hijab around floor 19 because they feel like family is also not great, because, to my understanding as a non-hijabi and non-muslim, that is not how being hijabi works. similar to the piper situation, when Rick was told that this isn't good he became defensive and didn't listen to any critisicm

ANTISEMITISM, ANTISEMETISM, ANTISEMITISM. this is one of the ones I agree with the most. Having Hades' children be Nazis, having a plot point revolve around one of the most traumatic events in world history, ignoring the fact of generational trauma and ignoring the fact that It Didn't Matter That It Took Place In World War Three, it could have not had any correlation to the death of over six million Jewish people. it legitimizes evilsurrounding Hades and death, and -- well, this one makes me so mad, I can't explain all of it so here is a post explaining more in depth

Slavery issues: similar to the holocaust, Rick Riordan made one of the most terrible issues in American History into a fight between demigods. this lowers the legitimacy of the issue, makes it seem fictional, makes Camp Jupiter seem terrible and awful, except it doesn't. because camp Jupiter isn't terrible. but the confederacy was. if children, especially white children, learn about the confederacy through camp Jupiter, it makes it seem way less bad than it was.

again, I don't agree with all of this, it's just reasoning as to why. in my eyes, Rick Riordan is a man who has grown in his telling of his stories. he started with a canonical all white, all straight, all cis cast. he has now a series featuring a latino genderfluid queer person. This Post said it better than I ever could.

I know that it's impact over intent in so many situations. and this isn't to say I disagree with all, or even most of his critisim. I just think that he has good intent, and I hate him for absolutely none of it.

I am gay, I am Latino, and I am trans. that is all I can speak on, and I think his rep for that was great. I hope this answered your question, dear anon. again, I encourage you to do your own research and form your own opinions. I only touched on a few issues that Rick has had and there's a lot more to be talked about. I would say to keep in mind his intent and his growth. thank you for the ask, thank you for directing it to me that made me feel happy lol. ily I hope you have a good day

if anyone else has anything to add, by all means please do!!

[kitkatopinions]

I’m probably over thinking/over complicating things but Ironwood and Penny have been really bothering me. It because prior to the moment that destroyed Penny’s arc the show and Ruby were really pushing that Penny not matter her body was human and that’s a very positive I like that especially when it comes to characters of Penny’s nature.

So my problem kicks in when I think of Ironwood. Namely this part in his song:

“What if it's true as they say

That I don't have a heart

That I'm more a machine than a man?”

Like wtf. I mean I “get it” especially with that dumbass line of Winter. But when it’s talked about Ironwood it was always in reference to the fact that his body is half robotic and there for we are meant to see the correlation between his body and his character.?

Put next to Penny’s message that really bothers me. Even more so since Penny gets a “reward” of becoming human, but the writers push that Ironwood sacrificing his arm to stop Watts and replacing it (a medical decision that could be debated given that he wanted to be up and able immediately to handle things not to mention that fact that nerves and muscle are severely fucked up) with a new (uncharacteristically uncovered) prosthetic means that he’s moving away from humanity. This thought has been driving nuts for a week.

I don’t think you’re overthinking at all. The writers have been pretty blatant about what they think of disabled people.

On the topic of James, 1. They wrote their triple amputee character to be coded as losing his humanity. This is suspect from the get go, but writers imo need to be especially careful and sensitive when they display things like villains with prosthetics. CRWBY is not careful and sensitive. 2. They specifically connected the loss of his limb to the loss of his humanity outside of the show, and as you said, his new prosthetic is uncharacteristically uncovered as well, and there were some pointed shots showcasing his arm and emphasizing it before showing Ironwood doing something wrong as well as a shot that particularly bothered me of them having James fall to Winter when his aura broke and then them immediately flashing to a fallen, broken robotic soldier. Tying the loss of someone’s humanity to them losing a limb / gaining a prosthetic in any way is wrong imo. There are better ways to display someone’s loss of humanity than villainizing the loss of his arm, and I don’t care what justifications people have for ‘they just meant to say that he was too impatient to-’ Idc. Tying the loss of humanity to the gaining of a prosthetic is wrong. 3. They never once treated Ironwood’s clear PTSD, history of mental health problems, and trauma with any sympathy, instead spending their time ragging on him for not wanting to feel his pain anymore and condemning him for... Trying to control his emotions. 4. CRWBY also gave him a semblance and explained how it worked by saying he hyper focused, talking about how James’ passive semblance that he can’t control forces him to focus on one single goal and fixate. I’m not disabled, but I do hyper fixate. It’s not something I can control, and to see it used as a justification for evil (in one of my favorite characters in the series who reminded me of my father lol) and being treated as something bad... It doesn’t feel good. I can’t imagine how other people must feel who are much more affected by this than I am. 5. As you say, the writers go out of their way to reference his metal body as being more ‘machine than man’ and make lines about him being heartless. And yeah, I get that he’s an allegory for the ‘Tin Man’ from Wizard of Oz but ffs the Tin Man had always had a heart and I honestly thought that was what they were going for in V3 with Qrow commenting that sometimes he thought James didn’t have a heart and the audience seeing Ironwood’s actions as questionable, only for the entire show to tell us repeatedly that he actually is a caring and good person who’s willing to destroy all the forces he was proud to show off if it means saving lives and was actually pretty freaking blameless in the Fall of Beacon and was super kind to the kids and when the chips were down, Qrow and Glynda both absolutely knew without even questioning that James would never ever willingly hurt the world or fully betray them and had absolutely no hand in the Beacon attack. Like, I’m sorry, but between Penny and Ironwood, season eight is the season of taking well done character allusions and throwing them out the window for the exact opposite moral done incredibly poorly. And anyway, getting off of that rant, making a ‘more machine than man’ sentiment tied around a triple amputee character is incredibly harmful and hurtful to people with disabilities and only propagates the real world stereotypes against people like James.

So, yes, their treatment of Ironwood, his mental health, and specifically his disabilities was so badly done, harmful, incredibly insensitive, and frankly, appalling that it came from grown adult writers in 2019-2021! But, as you point out, it’s not just Ironwood. And here’s where things really get bad for CRWBY. Because Ironwood alone is enough for me to say they were ableist - unintentionally or otherwise - and ought to apologize for the hurt they’ve caused their fans. But when you get into the rest of their treatment of characters with metal prosthetics or non-flesh elements to their body, it becomes a pattern.

Penny’s entire body is removed from her on threat of death, with the justification that it’s hurting her and that her body is just a machine and not part of who she is, contradicting Penny’s earlier themes of self-acceptance and validating her humanity in the body she already had. She then dies by assisted suicide in a way that feels unneeded, after having asked to be killed earlier in the narrative. So many people have talked about how destructive her story became in V8 and how it personally hurt them, especially non-binary people, trans people, autistic people, or disabled people who saw themselves in Penny or saw in her arc something that they could relate to, only to have Penny’s differences stripped away from her, having her conform to normal body standards and have her previous body type invalidated by her friends, and then they had her killed via assisted suicide in an unbelievable way, insisting as well that she never made a choice before she was a flesh-person and couldn’t feel things right. It’s all horribly done, but it’s important to remember that while Ironwood is accused of losing his humanity as he loses a third limb and gets a third prosthetic, Penny’s earlier validation is taken away and is instead only granted and she is only justified as a person when she loses all her ‘nuts and bolts’ and becomes a flesh person. And then she’s killed anyway.

Yang’s prosthetic is the least ill handled, but it is still dismissed as ‘just extra’ despite her former fairly strong arc of coming to terms with her disability and making it a part of her. She casually justifies what’s happening with Penny despite Penny not being in a position of adequate consent. Yang’s trauma and PTSD also vanished when Adam died at the end of season six and in my opinion, that situation was handled very badly.

Maria and Pietro, two other disabled characters, disappeared, left when Amity fell and were not even mentioned iirc since. Not even when Penny is awake, not even when they’re evacuating, not even when Penny is choosing to die. She never brings up her father. And Ruby’s supposed ‘mentor’ who never had an actual narrative role that couldn’t have been filled by Qrow and has had nothing to do since season six even past that is also forgotten out in the tundra and not mentioned again.

The writers go out of their way to have Winter say that because she was just following orders (a statement that contradicts her previous character imo) and pushing down her emotions, she was the real machine, whereas Penny had been human underneath her apparently easily tossed aside and destructive previous metal body.  And I don’t know if this means anything, but in that scene where she and Penny meet when Penny is dying and transferring the maiden powers to Winter, Winter is in her V7 character design, instead of wearing her assistive brace. Like I said, I don’t know if I’m reading into that, but with everything else, it feels like an iffy choice.

So yeah. In the past season CRWBY specifically cultivated a pattern of disrespect, dismissal, and villainization of any non-flesh attributes in my opinion. It seems pretty intentional and clear to me, but I’m willing to accept that maybe this was just a wildly bad uneducated mistake. Here’s the thing about that, though, after the Faunus/Racism allegory, the CRWBY writers should’ve learned their lesson and not touched on any real world topics that they weren’t willing to do the research on and treat with the sensitivity and care and respect the topics needed. Their Faunus/Racism allegory was harmful and hurtful and frankly could’ve sunk them in the water, they should’ve learned to put much more care and effort into their work or stayed the hell away from anything that could further spread the negative stereotypes surrounding real world people. But they didn’t learn their lesson and they’ve continued to push harmful narratives with no awareness or sensitivity. I don’t think you’re over-reacting at all, I think this is something that - intentionally written or otherwise - the writers should be called out on, or they’re just going to continue writing harmful narratives.

Also, I am not disabled, many of my opinions on the treatment of these characters comes from posts I’ve seen from many disabled or neurodivergent RWBY fans (or former RWBY fans,) or other people more affected by these narratives - minus the thing I said about Winter appearing without her brace when she talks to Penny, as it was something I just noticed while typing out this post. Since I’m not disabled, I’m not the best person to talk about these things, so if I got anything wrong in this, anyone more affected, please know you can let me know and I can edit and fix.