#this is NOT me defending abuse btw do not fucking twist my words

[thotfrnk]

jc couldve never abused jl, never. if jl showed even the littlest bit of fear towards jc, he would've lost custody a loooong time ago, jc should've never been granted custody in the first place as well. he was jl's MATERNAL uncle, he didn't have any true reason to be heavily involved w jl's life, let alone take part in raising him. plus his alleged sullied reputation that's constantly mentioned, the fact jgy called him a "mad dog" for holding onto chenqing, all the rumors of him torturing and killing etc etc. but he did, we don't really get to know how he got custody granted but he had partial, the fact jl is so much like jc also speaks to how much time they spent together, how jl says: "I'll tell my jiujiu about this!!" shows that jl trusts that jc will always protect him. so really, how could he abuse jl when jl doesn't even fear him but actively seeks out jc's protection?

do i agree with jc's way of discipline? not really lol. but this is ancient china and corporal punishment was the norm, I'm not gonna judge jc by modern-day standards on how to raise children, sorrrrrry.

there were three canonical instances of jc hitting jl, he never gave him a beatdown, but singular slaps, and for each time, jl was either putting himself in danger or did something stupid, but those instances never weighed out the many, many instances of jc coming to jl's aid, making sure jl is safe etc etc. also, jl himself said jc is all bark no bite, if jc was truly abusive towards jl, jl would never back-talk him or defy jc's words and orders, but yet we saw jl do exactly the opposite. interesting. jl doesn't run in fear away from jc, instead we saw when jl was crying on the boat and jc called out to him; jl flew to his uncle's side and jc didn't berate him for crying in such a way in public, we see him asking "who did this to you?" (mind you, that scene takes place after jc gave jl a slap for ignoring his orders).

UPDATE: needed to mention the one body slam that happened when jl was complaining to jc abt w.wx and lw.j leaving. this takes place POST ancestral hall + gc reveal, where jc was having a very public meltdown and asking ppl to unsheath suibian and was not in any sane state of mind. was he wrong to do that.... yes, he as the adult should've been able to control his emotions around a 14 year old. but I don't think this should make him abusive likeshdfehuddj

obviously you shouldnt hit children yeah yeah yeah, but like we're in a setting where corporal punishment isn't frowned upon lol like the punishments w.wx got when he was studying at cr??????? hello????? (and who gave out those lashings? l.wj but I digress). i think my only criticism is jc should've at least improved with his words, like I understand all he rly knows is the shit his mother and father told him, but ehhhhh. i like to think that he would try but jc doesn't seem like the type to heal his inner child.

maybe bc im indian and i got a good few lashes growing up, this doesn't rly phase me too much? idk, like I assume the ppl calling jc abusive are white lol. like I've heard my parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles recall worse abuse that they brush off as nothing (it rly was NOT), and it was nothing close to what jc did to jl, not in the slightest. i kinda see it more like "lemme hit u upside the head bc ur being stupid" and not "you fucking child let me show you who's boss"

[toxicbolts]

there is this woman i used to be mutuals with on twitter a couple of years ago. i used to defend her a lot, because she is trans and kept getting harassed by transphobes, so of course i was doing the right thing

she stopped following me one day, no explanation, and i said well no biggie, maybe my content doesnt interest her anymore. until i got harassed and told i deserved to be in the closet (aka that i deserved lesbophobia) by someone she knew. and her reaction? “maybe you should have thought about it twice before being aphobic”. which i immediately told her it was lesbophobia, but she didnt give a fuck

the person in question whom she knew was later outed as an abuser BY HER, not because they had abused her, just because, and she admitted to have actually covered their abuse, and said it’s was not her fault because “she thought she was a man back then, and that’s how men are”. which is super transmisogynistic, btw, and also her trying to distance herself from being an abuse apologist

and it came a moment in which she started quoting me and taking screenshots of my account, purposely twisting my words about ace discourse to get me harassed. it was one of the reasons i ended up deleting my old twitter account. i had to block like 50 people because i was getting outright harassed because nobody had a single fucking functioning braincell to understand what i was saying. or maybe, they didnt want to understand and they just wanted to harass me, whatever

so like i blocked her, and moved on. i finally knew the kind of person she was. i have to add that she is a militar and looooves to take photos of her gun to threaten people, both transphobes and not, and that has said publicly that the only reason she isn’t murdering “bad” people (and this includes “aphobes”) is because it’s illegal. threats with a gun in a country that doesnt allow guns excluding special cases is also illegal but what do i know

but the thing is. i didnt know even half of it. a friend of mine was with her in a feminist group and she admitted to have been an abuser. outright. but “since i thought i was a man back then, it’s okay, because men are like that, poor me, i have been socialized like that” (a lie, because trans women are women, they are not socialized like men)

and yesterday i was going to join a lesbian chat, like a group chat, and she was there. i... talked to the mods, said that there was someone dangerous there that made me uncomfortable and that i wouldnt enter the group if she was there. she liked my tweet. and that’s all. i made a thread about it, so other lesbians read about the matter. nobody told me a thing

i realised, most people dont care. most people support her. nobody is going to do a thing

lastly, i took a look at the chat, because with the link i could read it even if i didnt join. she was sending nudes. to a chat that HAS minors.

and i have to add, she is 40.

so im here, not being allowed in safe spaces because of that fucking sociopath and because of everyone around her being fucking enablers! yay!

[surrounded-by-superheroes]

The Poisonous Cure Ch. Six

CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER FIVE.

Summary;  Loki runs into a young girl on his morning walk and is shocked to learn she’s more than just a minor selling herself on the streets. Her web is more tangled than perhaps even his, and she certainly holds as many secrets. He swears to find more about her, but does he really want to?

Author’s Note; Phew, another chapter, yay! Almost to the end here. I’d expect one more chapter, maaaaybe two. Thank you so much to the readers out there. You’re fantastic. Btw, all I have to say about the end of this chapter is; I’m so sorry. Much love, your author.

Warnings; Language, mentions of abuse.

Words; 2,855

Chapter Six

Cabin Fever

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“No, your way is the wrong way.”

“That is incorrect.”

“This is how you cook fucking popcorn!” I shout, close to slapping him. We both stand in front of the microwave, arms crossed and pouts affixed to our lips. “Tony probably told you to cook it over a fire because it takes forever and he’s an asshole. Let me fix it my way and you’ll see it tastes the same.” I try to say calmly, looking over at his fiery eyes.

“Fine.” He snaps and we once again fall silent, watching the bag turn in the golden light of the microwave. We arrived and settled into adjoining bedrooms, then sat on the couch for an hour doing absolutely nothing. I suggested a movie and popcorn, so at least we’d have something to stare at and listen to instead of one another. He’d agreed, although neither of us foresaw the argumentative prospects of cooking the damn popcorn. I can’t wait to pick a movie. After grabbing a bowl and setting it under the microwave, the beeping alerts me to the popcorn being done. I grab it and pour the bag into the bowl as the familiar smell fills my nose. There was a movie theater just down the street from where I worked. I remember the times I’d get into a car and it would smell like this, buttery and warm. Those men were always quick. I’d guess their dates from earlier didn’t feel like putting out, so they resorted to second best. Loki and I walk back to the couch and I hand him the bowl to hold. He stares at the popcorn with distaste.

“Try the fucking popcorn, trench coat. God.” I roll my eyes and open the entertainment center to pick a movie. Thankfully, there are plenty to choose from. “Do you have a particular genre you prefer?” I ask, sitting and twisting my torso to face him nibbling on a piece of popcorn. He raises his eyebrows at me and I turn around, shaking my head. “I take that as a no.” I mumble and continue leafing through the DVDs. Finally, I settle on a classic that I know he’ll enjoy. The Phantom of the Opera.

“What have you chosen?” He asks as I sit next to him after putting the DVD in the player.

“The Phantom of the Opera. It’s a musical, but if you hate singing I don’t give a shit. Pay attention to the words and you’ll love it. I promise.” I instruct as Ghost comes into the room from napping on my bed. Gently, he puts his paws on the couch to ask if he can come up. Rolling my eyes, I move closer to Loki and pat the couch as an invitation. He jostles the two of us a bit, but then lays down and sets his head on my lap. “Good boy.” I whisper and lay an arm on his shoulders. Loki modifies his own sitting position to make space for me and ends up lightly laying his arm behind my shoulders. I’m thankful for the chill, Ghost is a heater.

“What is this picture about?” Loki asks curiously as the previews begin. I skip them all and go to the menu as I explain.

“Well, it’s about a man who is very misunderstood. His only love is the theater he’s taken refuge in, until he meets a girl. But, the girl is interested in someone else. Drama ensues. You’ll like it.” I tell him and press play. “By the way, I see that you’ve eaten half that bowl of popcorn.” He frowns at me and offers the bowl to me, seemingly a bit irritated at being caught. I settle it between the two of us as the movie finally begins to start. We’re both quiet throughout the film, but I glance sneakily at Loki throughout the movie and see him really getting into it. I believe he even tears up a little at the end.

“I enjoyed this. The singing is a tad strange, but the meaning behind the words is still poignant.” Loki thinks aloud, confirming the thoughts I had previously that he would enjoy the film.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” I tell him genuinely and set the empty bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, earning a slight growl from Ghost because I’ve disturbed him. Leaning back, I sigh. I’m going to make a cup of coffee; do you want one?” I offer and tap Ghost’s nose so he’ll let me up. As I’m walking the mile to the kitchen, Loki follows as my shadow.

“I’ll take black coffee, thanks.” He says and sits at the kitchen table, putting his feet up in another chair. Rolling my eyes, I fix him a quick cup of coffee before starting my own. It seems Tony already stocked the kitchen before we got here, which I don’t know if that’s creepy or not. I’m just grateful. I shove Loki’s feet out of the chair and sit down next to him, setting his coffee down in front of him.

“So, what do you do to pass the time?” I ask, idly taking a sip from my coffee. Loki thinks for a few moments, then stands.

“Reading, pondering my next scheme, but in this particular case I believe we can find something more diverting. I did promise to train you.” I perk up at that.

“Deal. What’s first?” I ask, getting up and following him as he goes outside.

“Something small.” He says with a warning glance and I roll my eyes. “I am going to throw something at you and I want you to stop it, then redirect it.” Loki directs as we separate, him walking away from a motionless me until we’re about ten meters apart. We face off for a few moments, breathing in the sunlight and feeling the rays on our skin. After a couple breaths, Loki whips a dagger out of thin air and chucks it at me. I throw my arms out and everything freezes. The grass and nearby branches stop blowing in the wind as the breeze disappears and the dagger stills. I move to the side and move closer to the dagger, then focus solely on that, letting everything else move again. I put my hand over the blade and the handle without touching it and try pushing the invisible field around it. The blade teeters a little and just barely moves away from me.

“Ugh.” I groan, but don’t give up. Suddenly Loki’s beside me and I nearly drop the blade out of surprise.

“No offense, but I don’t think it’s moved.” He drolls and I’m tempted to just grab the blade to stab him. My focus heightens and it moves an inch. Loki sighs and puts his hand on the handle, so I drop my focus.

“I would have gotten it!” I defend myself as he tsks.

“You’re thinking too hard. Magic isn’t like a bow. You don’t have to pull back, wait, then strike. You just strike. It’s a reflex.” He points the blade at me and smiles slyly. “You’re thinking too hard, sorceress.” He tells me and suddenly flicks his hand out with the blade. I stop him with a hand just in front of his own wrist, the blade inches from my throat. I smirk, rage burning through me as we stare into one another’s eyes. I back up and raise my leg, releasing him just as I kick his chest, grinning at the satisfying oomph that slips from his lips. “See? Reflex.” He groans, getting up with a slightly brighter grin on his face.

“Don’t threaten me like that, Loki.” I warn and his eyes turn wide.

“I don’t threaten, I’m teaching.” He clarifies and suddenly tosses the dagger at me. My hands react instantly, pushing out and up. The dagger follows my hands trajectory until my hands lower and it just falls to the ground. Loki grins and picks it up. “Like I said, reflex.” He tells me smugly and I resist punching his face. “By the way…” He waves a hand over the dagger and it turns into a simple stick. “Never trust your eyes, sorceress. If you’d just touched it you’d have known.” Loki explains and hands it to me just to prove he’s telling the truth. Then, he kneels and looks into my eyes. “I am not trying to harm you and you can place your trust in me. I swear to you, dear one.” His eyes burn, but not just because of their color. It seems he’s genuine and he has proven this to me multiple times, but I dislike trusting others with anything. I stare at him a moment more before nodding once.

“You have my trust.” Loki smiles brightly, and I freeze him for a second, making him look like a charming statue. “But if you betray it, I swear that you will regret it more than anything else in your life.” I tell him fiercely, my own eyes blistering with the fervor of my promise. When he’s released his grin doesn’t waver.

“I’d expect nothing less.” He tells me quietly and coaxes a small smile from me. After a quick and cold kiss to my cheek, he’s up and walking with a stick in his hand once more. “Come, let us go again.” He beckons and I nod, ready. We go again and again until I can move the stick without thinking, redirecting it seamlessly.

“How do you multiply yourself?” I ask, just a little out of breath. I’m lucky, with my temperature the air outside is near freezing on my skin, including the sun. Loki must feel like an ice cube in boiling water. He steps towards me and we meet in the middle.

“Visualization is half of magic. If you can see it, you can make it. So, visualize another you in front of yourself. Start off with only one.” Loki instructs and stands beside me, a constant presence that lends me strength. For a moment I shut my eyes, picturing another me in front of myself. “Good, good.” Loki encourages and it makes me push harder. My eyes open and I see myself staring back, although it’s blurry and imperfect. My head aches with the effort of it, but finally the image is perfect. Interestingly enough, it’s easier to maintain than to conjure.

“Why is it so…dead?” I ask, not knowing a better word to describe it. Loki chuckles and walks around it while nodding.

“While you conjured it quite well, making it move and speak requires more practice and more energy. I think we’re done for now, let us retire.” He tells me and I nod, releasing the figure and watching it fade like a picture on t.v. We walk in and I collapse on the couch with Ghost. He barely lifts his head at the disturbance. My eyes shut as I lean my head back on the back of the couch. I flinch when something cold touches my forehead, my eyes snapping open. I relax when I see it’s only Loki with a small, damp, washcloth and let him lay it on my forehead.

“Sorry. You surprised me.” I apologize, a little shocked at his gesture. He nods once, his movements more hesitant than usual.

“My…mother would do this for me after a training session. She was the one who taught me all I know.” He tells me quietly as I stare at him. “Although for me, the washcloth was always warm and she’d always serve me a special tea with it.” He confides in a quiet and calm voice.

“She knew about your form?” I ask gently, curious to hear about his parents. After all, I have no memory of mine. He nods and sits on the edge of the coffee table facing me.

“Both of my parents knew and they hid it from me most of my life. Mother never cared, though. I was always and shall always be her son.” His words now have an edge, but I like the sound of his mom.

“It sounds like you were lucky, Loki.” I tell him hesitantly, hoping not to upset him. His lips curve up into a small smile.

“With my mother and brother, I certainly was.” Loki allows and stands once again. “Would you care for some tea? The ingredients won’t be the same as my mother used, but…” Loki offers vulnerably and I nod.

“Yes, thank you.” I respond and press my lips together to keep from giggling when he turns around. I hate tea and have always hated tea. It tastes like grassy water, but if Loki is going out of his way to be nice I’ll drink a gallon to make him happy. In my experience, when someone who goes out of their way to do something and you don’t let them for whatever reason, it discourages them. I’m happy to let him do things for me if he wants to. It’s nice. He returns with his hands behind his back and asks me another question.

“Uh, would you like me to draw you a bath?” Loki asks and I can tell by the movement of his forearms that he’s wringing his hands. He’s nervous? That’s weird.

“Sure.” I respond and he nods once, heading to the bathroom. I watch him go curiously. I have no clue what he’s up to, but it’s amusing, whatever it is. “What do you think, Ghost?” I whisper and scratch his head. He blinks up at me with his golden eyes, but there are no answers there. Gently, I run the wet cloth around my entire face and neck, then get up and leave it around my neck. I head into my room to get some clothes to change into after taking a bath. God, I can’t remember the last time I took an actual bath, if I ever have. My go to is a day dress; a navy dress with pink flowers that falls to my calves and has a slit that goes up to my upper thigh. It has spaghetti straps and the neckline is a v-neck. Overall, one of the more conservative dresses I have. After grabbing that, underwear, a bra, and my iPod, I fold them up and head into the bathroom. Loki is surprisingly absent, so I just set my clothes on the counter.

“Is the water the appropriate temperature?” He asks, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

“I don’t know, I haven’t tested it yet.” I tell him, smiling at the tea in his hands. He sets it down on the small ledge beside the tub as I dip my fingers into the water. It’s freezing. “Wow, this is perfect!” I tell him genuinely.

“Good. I cooled it with my own hands, so it should stay cold a great deal longer than normal.” He explains and I’m shocked by his thoughtfulness. I cross my arms over my chest and purse my lips.

“Loki, do you want something from me?” I ask timidly, not wanting to anger him. His eyebrows furrow. “In my experience, when someone is kind it’s because they expect something in return.” I explain and his expression clears. He leans against the doorway and shakes his head.

“I do not wish to garner anything from you, little one. Well, perhaps your trust, but that is all.” He tells me and his voice is sincere. I nod and sigh, letting my arms fall to my sides.

“I’m sorry. I just…” I trail off, really not knowing what to say.

“Your apology is not warranted. I understand your feelings.” Loki reveals and straightens from his spot. “I’ll leave you to your bath.” He turns, locks the door from the inside like I like, and gets ready to walk out.

“Loki.” I call out and he pauses. I walk over and kiss his cheek. “Thank you. I appreciate everything you’re doing.” I tell him vulnerably and half-smile when he does, then let him shut the door. Sighing, I strip and lower myself into the water, hearing an audible sizzle as my skin touches it. It’s the absolute perfect temperature and I’m shocked to find that the tea he left is delicious. Remembering my music, I reach over and put in my earbuds, then turn the music up all the way. I let myself relax into the water and it’s incredibly soothing. I can see why people do this. I have no clue how long I’m in the tub, but the tea is long gone and the water is warm from my body heat when I finally get out. After drying off and putting on new clothes I feel like a new person. I take out my earbuds and turn off my iPod, then unlock the door. When I open the door, my mouth drops open. The place is trashed. Everything is either broken, knocked over, or both. Groaning calls my eyes down and to the right, finding Loki sitting next to the door. One thing turns my blood to ice.

He isn’t moving.

[thedepressedweasel]

January 4, 2000

Hey, I know I’ve mentioned that horrific abuse before, but anyway, I was 10 and doing homework with Michele (one of those ladies from S.T.A.R.S.) when I suddenly had a meltdown and took my stress out on her (she was heavily pregnant with her first son BTW), even saying that I was going to “mess up” her yet-to-be-born kid (I eventually felt very bad about it afterwards, but I digress) and then my egg donor screamed at me over my meltdown and then when I angrily wrote that I was “going to kill my mom” on my math homework assignment at the time (which I also felt bad about, since I loved her back then, even though she never loved me back) and then my egg donor came back (this time, with my sperm donor in tow) and tried to slap me, but I was trying to shield my face, so she got my hand instead. Then after Michele left (and did not come back until one week later), it suddenly became very bad, as my egg donor savagely beat me up over every homework assignment that I had to do.

“You idiot!” she screamed. “You’re lucky that I’m here when Michele left! Otherwise, you will get an F! And then you will get held back every year! And you will never be able to eventually get a job or even drive!”

Then she cruelly squeezed my lips (or face, depending on her mood swings) into a fishface style, then slapped me hard on the face again, prior to sadistically twisting my already snot-covered nose with a Kleenex tissue napkin in her hand...and then even threatened to smash my face on my desk umpteen times until I would die.

“Stop crying, you bitch!” she roared afterwards.

After all was said and done and I had to go to the bathroom, she stalked me all the way to the water closet while making me repeat after her that I was a lousy brat, that I was worthless and that I deserved to die. Afterwards, she picked up my sperm donor’s leather belt that he always wore on his jeans prior to wrapping it around my neck in a way that was so tight that I couldn’t even breathe anymore. Then she asked me in a calm voice if I wanted her to kill me and choke me to death with my sperm donor’s belt or whip me everywhere with it. Well, I wanted to say “Just go ahead and kill me, you abusive cunt, so I won’t have to endure the pain that you decided to put me through”, but I couldn’t, since that belt that was wrapped around my neck was too tight, so she unwrapped it and started whipping me with it. Then after I went back to doing my homework, she continued to beat me up with a belt and also with her bare hands, all the while saying “Yeah, that’s right! I can taste it all, you worthless brat! Your fear, your doubt, your anxiety, your PAIN! It’s delicious!”

She even laughed at me while I was already in so much pain.

Then even after I did all of my homework assignments, she wouldn’t let up, even when I told her that I was sorry for being alive; she even beat me up during dinner too. I was having a hard time chewing due to depression, sadness, fear, etc.

“CHEW!!!” she screamed a few times.

Then she said in Russian to my face that she hated me so much and then beat my face once more, prior to telling me in a taunting voice not to forget how worthless I was, even saying “now, now” in a taunting voice with a sadistic grin on her face...and even laughed cruelly in my face.

As for my sperm donor, well, he hit me too, even saying that I was too worthless to be his “daughter” (misgendered me) and that he wouldn’t even care if I died, but he was a different story anyway.

After dinner, my egg donor offered to supply me with a bottle of pills, a sharp knife, a jump from the balcony, a jump from from my bedroom window, a car key for carbon monoxide poisoning purposes, a full glass of bleach/Tide/Clorox/Downy, a full glass of Windex, a noosed-up rope or even a gun to commit suicide.

Where was my ex-brother the whole time? Playing video games, eating dinner, doing his homework on his own, etc. and he never tried to defend me. He didn’t care about me at all; he only cared about himself!

Then later that night, she decided to fake an apology while everyone had to get ready for bed.

Her exact words were “I’m sorry, but you made me so angry! I’ve been so stressed out all day and you’re not making it any easier like you should. I’m sick of you causing all these arguments in my house! Now go to sleep! And remember, don’t ever tell anyone about this because what goes on at home stays at home! Do you understand? Good girl (she misgendered me too)! Good night.”

Then the next day, she literally forced me to lie to the entire school about my injuries.

And yet some people like to say shit to me like “Well, she’s your mom, I don’t care what she does to you!!! I don’t care how abusive she is!!! It doesn’t matter what your mom does to you, she gave birth to you!!! She gave you life!!! You have to love and respect her!!!!!!111111!!!!!!” Uh, no! Fuck you! Jump off the cliff! You sound like an insane idiot! Mothers are not above the law neither; therefore, they’re not allowed to bring someone so vulnerable into existence just to torture that person how they please! Women are people too, not those perfect little angels who are automatically allowed to do whatever they want (seriously, take note, TERFs)! I literally (and firmly) believe that it’s absolutely evil and, thus, one of the worst crimes ever for someone to commit to bring another person into existence just to torture that person in sadistic ways.