pearlsdiamondsandvodka · 7 months ago
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the sandra lynn / fig conversation is driving me Insane. fig saying that sometimes she doesn’t wanna exist as herself at all…not wanting to ask her friends how they see her (because she’s afraid to hear their response) saying that to someone she is a monster and she Cannot stop thinking about it. sandra lynn starting the conversation saying she needs to step up but is also simultaneously taken aback about what fig expresses and doesn’t know how to responds to it and suggests getting ice cream. sandra lynn saying “convincing people they deserve good things is really tough” talking about herself but how it also reflects fig. insane!!
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foegs · 9 months ago
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catholic trads found my baby quilt
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purrassicjet · 6 months ago
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Rat Grinder Redemption but they get assigned a "Bad Kids Trusted Adult" to make sure they're redeemed:
Ruben: Gorthalax (Starting off with my weakest. I'm pretty sure Gorthalax also has music ties from back in Freshman Year when he was introduced, so I think he can help Ruben take back his music. The Bad Kids also don't know many bard adults)
Mary Ann: Ragh (Ragh's boundless enthusiasm makes him very good at carrying conversations. He's not only a great Barbarian, but would take a genuine interest in Mary Ann's quorky pets and squishmallows. His enthusiasm has to become infectious eventually)
Oisin: Aelwyn (It was very hard to get Aelwyn to agree to make sure Oisin was redeemed, but after she was told she had to help teach him magic, she agreed. She trains him really harshly, lots of borderline unsafe sparring, but eventually they manage to get along by bitching about other people to each other)
Ivy: Sandra Lynn (Ivy is extremely vocal about how she is NOT pleased to have somebody supervising her, but Sandra Lynn takes no shit from her. Her tough love is just what Ivy needs, and slowly, to her own disgust, she starts to become attached to Sandra Lynn's no-nonsense attitude. Sandra Lynn is an incredible ranger and a great teacher, so Ivy has a hard time hating her for very long)
Kipperlily: Jawbone (Jawbone's already been working with Kipperlily for a while now, and he wants to see it through. Kipperlily is the most resistant of the Rat Grinders to being redeemed, but eventually, Jawbone's able to get back to where he was with her and help her improve)
All the kids spend time with Lydia, who knows what it's like to experience rage for a long period of time. She's very hard to dislike for very long, and they all warm up to her very quick. Mary Ann the fastest because Ragh talks about her all the time.
I'm not sure what adult would be assigned to Buddy. If anybody has any ideas, feel free to reblog with them!
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adascore · 7 months ago
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Fouled Dreams | L. Oberdorf
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pairings: lena oberdorf x dutch!reader (+ plays for bayern) / netherlands national team x reader / german national team x dutch!reader
warnings: netherlands losing. crying. swearing. changed some things about the match, but the result is the same. fouls. mentions of bruising and swelling.
author’s: been obsessed with her lately so just had to write something. writing about nations league losses have become my thing I fear :(
masterlist
•••••••
February, 2024
They'd know beforehand that this situation could happen, yet when both their teams lost in the semifinals, it was hard to grasp the reality that one needed to beat the other in order to go to the Olympics in Paris.
Herself and Lena had played plenty of times against each other, with both their respective clubs and national teams.
However, this felt different.
Their previous international meetings had merely been friendlies in preparations for other competitive events like the World Cup a year prior.
This was for a spot at the Olympics.
Y/N had been at the previous edition in Tokyo with the Dutch team, where they had stranded in the quarterfinals against the United States on penalties.
Lena had never played at the Olympic Games, something she greatly wanted to achieve with her German teammates.
Both teams also wanted to redeem themselves after disappointing World Cup exits.
There were many things at stake.
Of course, headlines and articles had been made about how the couple was going to go head-to-head in a very important match for both sides.
Prior to their arrivals at the stadium, they hadn't seen each other for a few weeks. Lena played for Wolfsburg, while Y/N was a striker for Bayern Munich.
Although, Lena's upcoming transfer to Bayern would assure they would only have to miss each other during international breaks.
The young footballers had gotten together about a year prior, all credit to Lynn, Dom and Jill who had played matchmakers.
The distance was difficult at first, but they eventually found a nice balance. It sounded cliche, but communication really is the key to a good relationship.
Y/N was strolling around the pitch with her teammates when the German team appeared in the tunnel.
She didn't notice her girlfriend at first, too occupied in a conversation with Andries and Sherida.
It was Lynn, who so ''sweetly'' screamed for her best friend to ''get her ass over here'' that got her to excuse herself from the discussion with her captain and coach.
''Echte uitslover jij, waar was je nou weer over aan het lullen met hen?'' (''You're a real teacher's pet, what were you bullshitting about this time with them?'') Lynn teased her as she approached her, Lena, Jule and Lea.
Y/N sarcastically smiled at her fellow Dutchwoman. ''Jouw dikke kop!'' (''Your big head!'') She retorted, with Lynn playfully giving her a shove afterwards.
Her eyes lit up once she spotted Lena. Despite the tension of the upcoming match, seeing her face brought a sense of comfort amidst the nerves.
''Hey, everyone.'' Y/N moved to embrace Lea and Jule first, their proximity making them the easiest targets for her initial greetings. She let out an awkward chuckle as she made eye contact with her girlfriend again, but went in for the hug as well.
''Missed you.'' Lena whispered softly, her arms wrapping around her partner's waist in a comforting hold.
''Missed you too.'' Y/N replied, her voice equally gentle.
Their embrace was brief, acutely aware of the prying eyes of the photographers stationed around the field. It wasn't that they were afraid of showing public displays of affection, it was more the discomfort that came with the knowledge that every moment captured on camera would be scrutinized and analyzed by the media and fans alike.
They were far from being a secret- their relationship was an open secret among their teammates and the wider football community. Yet, the constant surveillance felt suffocating at times. So, when they could help it, they kept the PDA to a minimum, opting for subtle gestures and fleeting touches that spoke volumes in their own right.
''My mum and dad are coming tonight.'' Y/N said to Lena, the pair quickly disassociated to their own small bubble.
The German grinned. ''Yeah? That's nice, haven't seen them in a while.'' She replied, her tone warm and genuine.
Y/N nodded, a sense of anticipation building within her at the thought of her parents' arrival. She had a good relationship with her family, they'd been supportive of her love of football from the moment she started and went to almost every game if they could.
''My mum did make a small sign for you, cause she thought you might get upset with her.'' She playfully rolled her eyes at the recalling of her mother sending her a picture of the small poster that said 'Go Lena!'.
Lena chuckled at the mention of her girlfriend's mother's thoughtful gesture, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. ''That's very sweet, I can't wait to see it in person.''
''She's probably gonna want to take a picture of you with it, so you're warned beforehand.'' Y/N laughed, knowing her mother wanted photos of everything and everyone.
''I'll be sure to smile extra wide for the camera then, like this.'' Lena pretended to grin very big, showing off her teeth.
Y/N burst into laughter at her exaggerated pose, her eyes crinkling with amusement. ''Perfect, Obi! Exactly what she wants for a heartwarming photo.'' She teased, mimicking Lena's antics.
''Hey, you two,'' Lynn interrupted their moment, the entire group staring at the couple, ''the loser sleeps on the couch or what?'' The Dutch defender laughed.
Her national teammate mockingly rolled her eyes. ''Lynno, we don't even live in the same place. Idioot dat je bent.'' (''Idiot you are.'') Y/N responded.
Lynn chuckled in response, waving off her friend's playful insult with a dismissive gesture. ''Details, details,'' she replied, a mischievous twinkle in her eye, ''just make sure you've got that couch ready, wherever it may be.''
''I'm sure she has chosen a nice place.'' Lena retorted, chiming in on the banter.
Y/N's mouth gaped dramatically, and her eyes widened, exaggerating her reaction to the playful exchange. ''Actually, since you like breaking ankles, you can just sleep on the floor.''
Lena raised an eyebrow in mock surprise at her girlfriend's response, which drew another round of laughter from the group. ''Oh, I see how it is,'' she teased, ''floor it is, then. I'll bring my sleeping bag.'' She accepted.
She threw her arm around Lena at the feigned sadness over having to bring a sleeping bag, her pout being too cute to not fawn over.
It was a nice moment to have with the group, temporarily forgetting an important match would have to be played a few hours later.
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There was a mixed atmosphere in the tunnel as both teams started gathering in a line, familiarizing themselves with their small mascots, who were all looking up at the players with wide-eyed excitement.
The Netherlands' usual captain, Sherida Spitse, had been forced to withdraw from the starting lineup due to a last-minute injury sustained during the warm-up. In her absence, Y/N found herself unexpectedly thrust into the role of captain for the crucial match.
As she entered the tunnel, the weight of the captain's armband felt both familiar and foreign at the same time. While she had stepped into the role of captain before, it had always been in moments of crisis, when Sherida was substituted during a match and Y/N was hastily given the band by one of their teammates.
It was not only a great moment for her, it would be one for her family as well. Though they weren't particularly patriotic, knowing that their daughter had been chosen by the entire Dutch team to lead them out for such an important match filled them with a sense of pride and honor.
Her usual spot in the line would be at the back, next to Lena. It had become almost routine for them to have a small chat before their matches, even when they were with Bayern and Wolfsburg, they were always the last players to enter the stadium.
Y/N held the pennant in her hands tight as she approached her girlfriend, careful to not make a big deal out of it since they were already filming the players as they waited for the officials to walk out.
A small pat on her arm was enough to grab Lena's attention, the German turning her head before a small, but nervous, smile broke out on her face once she noticed who it was.
''Hey, Captain.'' She grinned, her eyes briefly glancing towards where the armband was comfortably wrapped around her partner's bicep.
Y/N smirked once she noticed, but didn't say anything about it. ''Hi,'' she softly said, ''good match, alright? And please, don't break my ankles.'' She teased.
''No promises.'' Lena chuckled, playfully raising her eyebrow.
They shared a final glance before the striker made her way to the front of the line-up, only to be stopped by Dominique. ''Ze gaat sowieso je enkel breken.'' (''No doubt she's going to break your ankle.'') The Dutch defender said, a mischievous look in her eyes.
''Ik weet het.'' (''I know.'') Y/N sighed.
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''Dom was right.'' The captain muttered under her breath as she was yet again taking to the ground by one of the German defenders.
It hadn't even been close to half-time yet and the Bayern Munich player had been assaulted from all sides. Funny enough, none of the challenges had been made by Lena- so far at least.
Danielle helped her get up from the ground, quickly checking in. ''I'm fine, Daan.'' Y/N reassured the older player, wiping her knees clean.
The first half proved to be eventful, yet no goals had been made by either side. The goalkeepers were making amazing saves, but both teams had also missed serious chances at scoring the opening goal.
Despite being deployed in Sherida's position as a defensive midfielder, Y/N managed to make an impact in the attacking third. She found herself with two golden opportunities to break the deadlock, however, luck was not on her side as both strikes rattled off the woodwork, denying her the chance to put her team ahead.
The opening minute of the second half was marked by a somewhat surprising moment:
Lena fouled Y/N.
The referee blew the whistle, signaling the late challenge made by the midfielder. Y/N, with a dramatic flair, collapsed to the ground, clutching her leg in feigned agony.
Recognizing the playful nature of the moment, Lena quickly understood that she was only hamming it up for the sake of a breather for her teammates and to ruin the Germans' momentum. However, she still bent down beside her girlfriend.
''You shouldn't go into acting anytime soon.'' Lena chuckled, briefly letting her hand caress over the part that 'allegedly' hurt so bad.
The captain let out a small smile. ''That's mean, you should get a yellow card for descent.''
The midfielder's eyes sparked with amusement as she helped her back up to her feet. ''Maybe later.'' She quipped, playfully nudging her girlfriend's shoulder before they resumed their positions on the field.
It didn't take too long for the fun to be over as Klara put in the first goal of the night, which had been assisted by Lena. About 10 minutes later, another Bayern teammate put one in the back of the net as Lea also got herself on the scoresheet.
As the game wore on, Y/N became increasingly determined to make a difference on the field. However, despite her best efforts, none of her attempts seemed to find the back of the net. Her teammates were not clinical enough, or the shots were deflected by the German defenders.
The more attacks she created, the more aggressive the fouls of the German grew on her.
They seemed determined to shut down Y/N's advances by any means necessary, resorting to increasingly rough challenges to disrupt her rhythm.
She managed to keep the ball from Nüsken, and send a pass to Esmee when a German player made a reckless tackle from behind, catching her off guard. The force of the challenge sent her crashing to the ground, a sharp pain shooting through her ankle.
A wave of concern washed over the stadium and the Dutch team as they watched their most vital player of the evening being abruptly taken out by Giulia.
People close to her rushed to her side, including Giulia who didn't have the intention to actually hurt her Bayern teammate. The referee swiftly intervened, issuing a yellow card.
''Shit, I'm sorry- didn't time it well.'' The midfielder apologized immediately, knowing right away it wasn't a great or necessary challenge.
Y/N made a gesture with her hand, which translated to ''it's okay, just give me space now,'' which Giulia understood, the pair having a great relationship at Bayern.
Lynn was the first of her teammates to reach her, shouting profanities at Giulia and the referee for letting the fouls on her best friend get to the point where she needed the medical team.
''Alles goed, meid?'' (''Everything okay, girlie?'') The Wolfsburg defender asked, concern etched on her face.
''Ik denk dat me enkel er elk moment gaat afvallen.'' (''I think my ankle is going to fall off at any moment.'') She sarcastically replied, rolling her eyes.
Lynn chuckled at her friend's attempt at humor, though the worry still lingered in her eyes. ''Ik hoop van niet, we hebben die nog nodig.'' (''I hope it doesn't, we still need it.'').
Meanwhile, the medical team arrived, quickly assessing Y/N's ankle to determine the extent of the injury. The other players quickly backed off so the staff could work in peace.
Lena noticed her club teammate's concerned expression and approached her quietly. ''How's she doing?'' She asked softly, her eyes flickering toward Y/N, whose ankle was covered in bruises.
Lynn sighed, her hand smoothing down her hair. ''I think she's trying to make it out as if she isn't bothered by it, but it's obvious it hurts- look at it, completely blue.'' The Dutchwoman motioned towards where one of the physios was icing her foot.
The midfielder nodded. ''I hope it's nothing too serious.'' She observed the way her partner was hissing at the way the staff was assessing her ankle, visibly agitated by the pain. She wished she could do more to help, but all she could do for now was offer her support from the sidelines.
The Dutch team held their breath as Y/N gingerly tested her weight on her injured ankle, her expression a mix of determination and discomfort. Every eye on the sideline was fixed on her, silently praying that she would be able to continue.
''As soon as the match is done, you're coming with us to the medical room. I'm surprised you can walk still.'' Their physiotherapist ordered her, glancing down at her iced and taped up ankle.
Andries sent her a thumbs up, asking if she was okay to continue. However, Y/N knew they had used up all their substitutes so there would be no use in forfeiting the game, so she confirmed with a nod that she would carry on.
She could walk on her own to the side of the pitch, though there was a limp in her step. The striker carefully jogged onto the grass as the referee gave her permission to join the match again.
A few tense minutes later, the shrill sound of the referee's whistle pierced the air, signaling the end of the match.
Amidst the disappointment of the Dutch team, the German players erupted into jubilant celebrations. They hugged each other tightly, their faces beaming with joy and relief as they reveled in their hard-earned victory.
The Oranje Leeuwinnen on the pitch dejectedly gave each other hugs and consolations, most with tears in their eyes.
Y/N had lowered herself onto the ice-cold grass, the throbbing pain in her ankle too much to bear. She winced as she cautiously propped herself up against the turf.
She suddenly felt two pairs of arms slip beneath hers, lifting her gently off the ground. Startled, she looked up to see Esmee and Kerstin, their expressions filled with concern as they looked at their captain.
''Kom op, meid,'' (''Come on, girl,') Kerstin gently said, ''je was echt een beest op dat middenveld.'' (''You really were a beast in the midfield.'') The Manchester City player chuckled, trying to lighten up the somber mood.
Esmee nodded in agreement, her grip firm yet gentle as she supported Y/N's weight. The two youngsters guided her towards the waiting medical staff, who had been watching the scene unfold from the sidelines.
Some of their teammates and staff patted their heads and ruffled their hair as they walked across the pitch, offering words of sweet nothingness.
With a reassuring nod from the physiotherapist, Esmee and Kerstin carefully lowered her onto the stretcher, ensuring she was comfortable before the medical team began to carry her inside the stadium for further examination.
The injured player could hear the applause from the bystanders, but it wasn't much solace as the pain and disappointment hit her like a truck. Unable to hold back her emotions any longer, Y/N felt a sob escape her lips, the sound muffled by her hands as she covered her face.
The staff of the Dutch team carrying the stretcher watched with downcast eyes, feeling for the young player who had literally given her body and soul this match.
After what seemed like an eternity of navigating the labyrinthine corridors of the stadium, they finally reached the treatment room. With practiced efficiency, they set to work assessing Y/N's injury, carefully removing her shoe and sock to examine her blue ankle.
As the physiotherapists administered treatment, taping up her ankle and applying ice packs to reduce the swelling, the striker remained silent, lost in her thoughts and emotions.
Once her ankle was securely taped and she was given the green light to proceed, Y/N wasted no time in making her way back to the pitch. The pain was barely noticeable anymore as she walked with quickness in her strides, simply wanting to be with her team.
Surprisingly, the German and Dutch players were still exchanging handshakes with one another, acknowledging each other's efforts or catching up with teammates.
The Dutch captain delicately walked onto the pitch again going for the officials who stood in the center of the big field. On her way there, she shook hands or gave hugs with either her national teammates or club teammates, each of them praising her performance of the night- though the striker didn't feel deserving of it.
With a firm handshake and a nod of acknowledgment, she greeted the officials. One of them had asked about her injury, but the player assured her that she was alright. With a suppressed smile, she turned away from them.
''Y/N…'' She heard a voice next to her, immediately recognizing whose it was.
The Dutch striker tried to beam the best she could, a strained grin plastered on her face. ''Hey.''
Lena hesitantly motioned for a hug, not confident in how to handle the situation. Her girlfriend nodded, opening her arms, and welcoming each other in an embrace in the center of the pitch.
''I know it doesn't look like I am, but I am very happy for you and the girls.'' Y/N mumbled into Lena's neck, her voice thick with emotion as she fought to hold back her tears.
The German midfielder brushed her fingers gently through her hair, a soft sigh escaping her lips. ''Danke,'' (''Thank you,'') she whispered in response, her voice quiet but filled with gratitude. ''I know you're happy for us, you don't need to say it.''
Their embrace lingered for a moment longer, each reluctant to let go. But eventually, they pulled back, their eyes meeting in a silent exchange.
''How's your ankle?'' Lena asked, discreetly peeking at her girlfriend's taped up ankle.
The Dutchwoman shrugged her shoulders. ''It's just very bruised, that's it,'' she dismissed, ''you played really well- nice assist, by the way.'' Y/N changed the subject, not wanting to linger on the topic of her physical well-being.
Lena's cheeks flushed at the compliment. ''Thank you. I meant to score, though.''
The German glanced around the stadium, scanning the crowd. ''Where are your parents sitting?'' She asked.
Y/N pointed towards a section of the stands where her parents were seated, their faces alight with pride and excitement as they waved to them from the crowd. The couple happily waved back at them, Lena lightly chuckling at the poster that her girlfriend's father hastily pulled out of his wife's bag, motioning it around for Lena to see.
''They're so sweet.'' She remarked, her voice filled with affection as she glanced back at Y/N. But as Lena turned her gaze back to her girlfriend, she noticed a sudden shift in her demeanor.
As Y/N watched her family in the stands, a flood of emotions washed over her. She felt a lump form in her throat as she took in the sight of them, their smiles radiating nothing but support for their daughter and her national team. However, it was once she glanced down at the fans around them, downed in orange decorations and clothing, that her true feelings about the outcome of the match came to the surface. The sea of orange seemed to mock her, a painful reminder of the missed opportunities and shattered dreams that had taken place tonight.
The team had fought tooth and nail to simply make it out of the group stages, the late drama at the match against Belgium had filled the squad with newfound confidence and resilience. They'd come so close to their ticket to the Olympics, it was practically in their hands before it had been taken away from them and ripped in millions of pieces.
She couldn't help but feel a sense of profound loss. The weight of the defeat lied heavily on her, feeling somewhat the most responsible for the defeat, as if she had been the only player on her team. Deep down, Y/N knew this was far from the truth- football was a team effort, and their loss was a collective outcome. But the pressure she had felt was immense, spurred on by the absence of key players like Jill, Victoria, and Vivianne.
In the eyes of the Dutch media, Y/N had been hailed as the team's ''saving angel,'' a title that now felt like a heavy burden on her shoulders. She had been the one to step up in critical moments, delivering crucial assists and last-minute goals that had propelled the Netherlands to victory in the past. But tonight, she couldn't replicate that success- something she feared she would be crucified for by the fans and pundits.
Lena's heart ached at the sight of her girlfriend's distress, the lines of worry etched into her brow as she struggled to maintain her composure.
With a gentle touch, she reached out to Y/N, her fingers lightly brushing against her arm as she offered silent support. Lena understood right away what she was thinking as she watched her observe the crowd, it's what she had felt at the World Cup, it's what she had felt when Wolfsburg were knocked out of the Champions League.
Utter and complete disappointment.
''Hey,'' Lena murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she sought to break through the walls of self-doubt that surrounded Y/N, ''it's okay, you did well.'' She comforted as she pulled her into another embrace, her arms caressing the Dutchwoman's back.
Y/N buried her face against Lena's shoulder, her tears soaking into the fabric of her jersey as she clung to her girlfriend's warmth. ''I wanted it so badly,'' she admitted, ''and I played so fucking bad, missed so many sitters.''
It was frustrating for Lena to hear, especially since her partner was easily one of the best players on the field tonight, and was the sole reason the Netherlands were still in the game the entire match. ''Do you know how hard you made it for us? You kept taking the ball from me.'' She tried to convince her, her voice resolute.
Y/N sniffled, her breath hitching as she struggled to hold back her tears. ''But I could have- I should have done so much better.'' She lamented, her voice muffled against Lena's shoulder.
Lena pulled back slightly, cupping Y/N's face in her hands so she could look into her eyes. ''You did everything you could,'' the midfielder reassured her, her gaze unwavering, ''you were playing out of your position the entire time, you were constantly creating chances for yourself and for your teammates, you were my player of the match- and I'm not just saying that,'' she interrupted herself before her girlfriend could, ''you're a phenomenal player, and I was so proud watching you tonight.''
Y/N's eyes widened with surprise and disbelief at Lena's words. She had been so consumed by her own self-criticism that she hadn't realized how much her partner valued and appreciated her efforts on the field.
She wrapped her arms around her, giving a swift peck on the cheek. ''Love you.''
''Love you too.'' Lena reciprocated, landing a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek as well.
The Dutchwoman glanced to her side, seeing the German team starting to form a huddle with one another. ''Obi,'' she caught Lena's attention, signaling towards her teammates, ''go and celebrate, we'll talk tomorrow, alright?''
As Lena hesitated, Y/N gave her an encouraging smile. ''Seriously, go join them, you're going to Olympics, have fun with them. I'm gonna be mad if you don't.''
''Okay, but we face time tomorrow?'' The young midfielder asked, needing the reassurance.
Y/N chuckled softly, touched by her partner's concern. ''We will. Now go, and party- oh my God.''
With a final nod of understanding, Lena gave her girlfriend's hand a gentle squeeze before reluctantly turning to join the German team in their huddle.
As Y/N watched her disappear into the celebratory chaos, a bittersweet smile touched her lips. She could see her own team waiting for her, already standing in a circle.
She took the spot next to her best friend, as Lynn made space for her to join.
A slight grimace crossed her face as the entire team listened to Andries, prompting the defender next to her to furrow her eyebrows. ''Je enkel?'' (''Your ankle?'') She asked.
With a wry smile, Y/N shook her head. ''Nee, de rugpijn die ik ga hebben na het slapen op de grond.'' (''No, the back pain I'll be having after sleeping on the floor.'') She responded, a teasing smirk on her face.
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lena requests are always welcome!
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david-talks-sw · 2 months ago
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"The Acolyte" wasn't 'woke' propaganda.
I had my issues with the show (you can check out my other posts to see what they were) but there's this notion that The Acolyte was created to spread The Message™ of "woke propaganda"... and I think there's a bit of a mix-up going on, there.
Because that's simplifying things a lot.
When you're a minority, you're not "being woke" when you're just being yourself! Conversely, you're not "writing to be woke" when you're a minority drawing inspiration from your personal experiences to tell a story.
I talked before about how George Lucas implemented elements of his personal life in his own films. In his own words:
"There's no way to write without writing from yourself. Y'know, the stuff gets made out of things that you care about… whether you've actually lived them or not. There are emotional issues that you deal with, and I think that's always a major factor with any writer. I don’t think— it's hard to write without having some kind of emotional connection to the material. I've never seen any reason not to. It’s easy to write that way. It's hard to write in the abstract. So when I write a scene, I write a scene that moves me or I care about, or is something that is personal to me." - George Lucas, Q&A with Lynne Hale, 1994 (StarWars.com)
Any piece of writing worth some salt needs to come from a personal place to some degree because that's where the heart of the story, the truth, lies. That's what an audience will relate to.
Example: The six original Star Wars films are purely George Lucas. As in, everything in those films, from the characters, to the cinematography, to the editing style, etc are all a reflection of who George is as a person and what he stands for:
anti-Vietnam / "fight the corporate & imperial machine"
60s-70s white kid from Modesto, California
single father of three
who defines himself as Methodist-Buddhist,
has an anthropology major and
a passion for Kurosawa,
cinema vérité,
cinema history in general
art and visuals and
car racing.
You see all that in those films.
Same thing with The Acolyte.
Leslye Headland drew from her personal experiences.
Among other things, Leslye is gay. So that's what she uses as inspiration to, for instance, craft Qimir's character motivation.
"I was on the treadmill being like, “What is [Qimir] gonna say?!” And my wife, who is a huge part of my creative process, finally she said, “What do you wanna say? Stop thinking of it like you have to somehow tap into a different guy.” [...] I was like, “I wanna say that people don't want me to exist as a gay woman, as a woman in this particular space, working in this wild sandbox.” There was a whole crew of people who believed in me, but deep down, I felt like, “I am unaccepted for who I am because of what I believe in and wanting to wield my power the way I'd like without having to answer to the legion of people that just exist out there.”" - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024
She took this specific life experience of hers, and then made it more universal, so that a bigger audience could relate to it.
"By the way, I think everybody feels this way. I think that's why it resonates when you're honest about yourself, and you get personal about it. When [Qimir] says, “I want freedom,” that's what I want. I just want freedom. I want to be able to just be out there and be myself and be the type of artist I want to be without having to answer to anybody." - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024
Same goes with Osha and Sol's relationship, or how she defines the Jedi Order. It derives from her own relationship with her father and how she felt being raised straight, in a Christian household.
If you have the time, listen to this audio clip where she describes that.
In the context of the whole interview, her voice goes down a few octaves and starts to crack a bit. This is a vulnerable moment, when she's talking about it... and it's this experience that she turned into fuel for her writing of Sol and Osha's father/daughter bond.
"There's this thing that's called benign sexism, and part of it is this paternal protectionism — it seems like this good thing, but like you said, there's this, “I have to protect you from everything. I have to make sure you're okay. I have to tell you what track to get on, and then once you're on that track, I need to support you.” Ultimately, what happens is — again, this is a father-daughter relationship — as women evolve in their lives and develop their own personalities separate from their fathers, at some point, they have to reject that protectionism. [...] She cannot stay a little girl or an adolescent or young adult. She has to, at some point, say, “I reject what you have told me I need to do to make you proud, to follow in your footsteps.” She has to do that." - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024
Now... if we're talking consistency with the themes in Lucas' Star Wars, then yeah, The Acolyte misses the mark.
The Jedi Order isn't the patriarchy or the Catholic Church. They're more like Buddhist monks, George has stated so multiple times.
The Jedi teachings aren't narratively meant to be the same traits found in toxic masculinity or benign sexism.
When a Jedi tells you to be mindful of your emotions, it's not meant in the "boys don't cry" sense.
When they talk about letting go of attachments, it's not meant in a stoic "don't get emotionally involved" sense.
Anakin too, the whole point is that he's wrong, the narrative frames his fall to the Dark Side as his own fault, it's not meant to be perceived as a failure in upbringing.
But she's not the only one who does it. Filoni does it too, a majority of fans have this take on the Jedi.
And because of her experiences, I can see why her takeaway would be that. Same goes for Filoni, they're products of their generation, upbringing and experiences.
My point is:
Leslye Headland is writing from a personal place, when she's writing The Acolyte. It's partially informed by her politics because - like she quotes, "personal is political" - but when it comes to the writing of the show, it's personal first and foremost.
What this was, was a Star Wars fan (arguably the nerdiest one we've had so far, in terms of creators) putting all of herself in the creation of a show that perfectly reflects who she is and what she stands for, resulting in:
a story about growing past your father's paternal control and accepting that our guides aren't infallible,
where her wife holds a role and gets to wield a lightsaber,
a show about taking corrupt religious institutions to task
about the Sith and the Dark Side
and questioning the unquestionable
and exploring whether the good are really so good and if the bad are really so bad.
This was a project written from the heart, and regardless of whether the resulting art found its mark, I think it's important to note that it wasn't written to spread a propaganda message in some "pro-woke holy war" or whatever the hell the YouTubers are peddling.
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woso-lover · 8 months ago
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Home is, whenever I'm with you | Lena Oberdorf
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Lena Oberdorf x german!bayern munich!reader
Summary: Lena suprises you with her move to your childhood club. To finally be with you properly.
Warnings: a bit of angst, fluff
English is not my first language
Masterlist
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Girl, I never loved one like you
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
You grew up in Munich. Everything you know is there. Your famil. Your friends. Your bestfriend, Sydney. Your club.... Everything you loved was in one place. Exept your home, your lover, Lena Oberdorf. She plays for Wolfsburg. That wouldn't be the problem, even trought its the rival, but Wolfsburg is too far away from Munich, to see each other more then once in a month. And its slowly infecting your realationship.
It's started when you both grow out of the honeymoon phase. That doesn't mean you're stopped being smitten about each other. But the distant made it worse. A 6 hours drive or a one hour flight. It started to come to much.
It wasn't because of the lack of trust you have for each other. You trust each other very much. But you missed the closeness, the cuddles or the kisses. The things you would only get, if you play each other or in the german camp. It was rarely that one come to visit the other. To caught up with training for your clubs.
So everytime the national break started, you follow each other like lost puppies. It's mostly Lena, who follows you everywhere. Her Wolfsburg teammates will tease all the time, when the break is going to start or gets closer. But she doesn't care. She only cares about being close to you.
But you follow her everywhere too. And your teammates tease you about that too. Like obi, you don't care either. You're just happy being with her again.
-
To the problem is only one solution. One has the move clubs. But you both are too stuborn.
"I'm not moving away, liebling. (Darling) I have everything here."
"I change would look on you, baby. You can't always stay in the same place your whole life." Obi argues back on a face time call. It wasn't a fight. More like a discussion, in wich you both bring the same arguments over and over again.
"You know i can't handle change. And it would be a change for you too."
"I know you can't. And i already had a change. I moved from Essen. There wouldn't be so much change. You know half of the from national and you got friends with Lynn."
You look away, to the wall, feeling defeated. "Ha Gotcha, Schatz. (honey)" Obi said happily. "If you move to Bayern, you can play with and see Lea more often." You knew what the Lea card would do. You know that Lena misses to play in the same team as Lea, like in Essen.
"Didn't you wanted to show me your new tattoo idea?" Obi distracts from the topic.
You knew Obi wants to distracts from the topic. She was a bad loser and she knew how right you were, Obi just didn't want to admit that. So you played along.
"What do you think of something like that?" You showed her a page from your sketchbook.
Since then none of you dared to bring up the topic again. In the meanwhile Obi has gotten an offer from bayern munich. She didn't know what to do with it. Should she tell you? Should she ignore it? These question were toturing her mind.
-
Her solution: She's going to ask on national break what you would say if she got an offer from your beloved club.
But unfortunately the right time wouldn't come to Lena. Everytime she was close of telling you something happened. So she finally decide to say it to you no matter what.
She walked into the chill room, wich she knew you mostly are. You were there but you talked with Sydney. She didn't mean to overhear, but she stayed as she heard her own name out if your mouth.
"I love Lena, but i don't know how long it's going to work" Obis face fell. She doesn't want you to think like that. She wants to be with you forever. With sad face she walks away. She talks to you after your conversation with Sydney. But she stopped as she heard Sydney speaking.
"Don't say stupid shit like that. It's going to work out. You both are so smitten and follow each other like lost puppies. It makes me love sick. It's getting to the point to become disgusting."
"Yeah because your Single" you chuckle and on Obis face a smile grows.
"But i'm serious. If you leave, then there would be nothing much different. You still have me and Klara. We still be friends and pull pranks on camp or annoy Laura. Okay? You still got us and the team. We're a big family." Sydney hugs you.
'That's why' Obi realized. You're scared that if you move, your friends will turn their back on you. Obi walked away with smile. Knowing what she's about to do, calling her agent.
-
You were more then suprised as Lena said she will be visiting for a few days, but gadly take it. With Lena being in Munich you were happier. Sydney and Klara took notice of it and asked themselves why. But they got the answer, when Lena picks you up from training.
"Hope it wasn't too boring, being alone." You kissed Obi. After you two broke apart, you hugged her. Behind your back Sydney, Klara and Georgia made gagging faces. Lena rolled her eyes at them.
"No it wasn't, Liebling" It really wasn't. It was exhausting. She was talking with the club, her agent and the Bayern coach. All to negotiate her move to Bayern Munich.
-
The day she signed the contract she had mixed feelings. The tought of leaving Jule behind haunted her. But the blonde told her to go, to get her girl. It made Obi feel a bit better about it, but not fully. The other side was excitment. To be near you. To kiss you everyday. To cuddle with you. To cook with you. To do everything with you.
-
Before the national camp in february the romurs of Lenas move spread over. You saw it too, of course. You didn't know how to feel. There was hope, but you knew to not trust rumors. And Obi wasn't a help either. She only said that she didn't know how or why there are rumors. It broke her heart to see your face fell, just to cover it up quickly with a smile.
-
On the 14th february her move to Bayern will be officinal. She came to munich for the day, because of valentines. She knew you had a came on the evening, so she took you on a date for lunch. The whole day you weren't allowed to look on your phone. You wondered why and asked her. She only told you it would ruin her suprise.
After lunch in your favourite restaurant she took you to your favourite park, in wich you finally were allowed to look on your phone. You looked confussed at her but did anyway.
"Now go on insta"
"Obi what have you done?"
"Nothing" she smiles at you.
You looked on your phone your confussed look turned into shock. You looked up at Obi, who smiled slyly at you. "Suprise?"
"You fucking idiot. I love you" You run to Lena and hug her. "But why would you do that? You didn't had to"
"I know. But i love you. And Bayern didn't Sound that bad." With that she kisses you. Happy play with you next season and to in with you
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theresascove · 23 days ago
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feeling left out ₊ ⊹
lynn loud x fem!reader
after introducing Lynn to your friends to help her out after she disclosed her rough time making friends, you start to feel left out when most all of her time is spent with them now
tw: I put Lynn in what grade she would be irl (Annaka is 16, so 11th grade), established relationship, hurt/comfort, light angst with happy ending, slight argument
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wc ✎ 1.2k
You’ve known Lynn for as long as you really can remember. Living just down the road, it really was hard to ignore the Loud family. It’s in the name, they were loud. Also not to mention you went to the same school as them, settling beside them on the bus. You shared the same high school with the older siblings—Lynn, Luan, Luna, Leni, and Lori. Specially you shared the same grade as Lynn and Leni, 11th grade.
So by all means, you would consider yourself a friend to Lynn and to the Loud family. You visited often, trailing about with Lynn until the Loud family got to know you better—until they were better familiar either you. It got to the point they were asking question as to why you weren’t at their house, seeing as since you’ve started dating Lynn you’re around often. Maybe a little too often.
You and Lynn hung out a lot, a bit too much. I mean it made sense to, but you never had a minute away from her almost—your friends texts notifications have been appearing on your phone, asking when you’ll be free. And truth be told you miss them.
So that sparked a conversation, one where Lynn’s hands stopped tossing around her soccer ball and her vision casted off a little. She told you about how she struggles to find friends, meaning ultimately you , her teammates, and her family is all she really has.
And that’s where it started. You invited her to come hangout with your friends. The plans were—going to stop by a food place and eat outside to catch up. The invitation sparked a sense and look of joy on Lynn and it too sparked one in you to see her look excited again.
“Are you sure they don’t mind?”
“No,” you reach over to her, past the car center council, “you know these people, this will just give you the chance to know them more. They already love you, I talk about you all the time.”
She mumbles an okay, parking the car and following you towards the outside park table where the others resided. You introduced her and almost instantly it hit off. You smile from where you sit, watching as she talks about her passions with the others. Lynn hugged you tight that night, spilling strong thank yous for letting her join. She had even texted you again, a small thank you at the bottom of her text.
When you clicked your phone light off just before you fell asleep, you had no worries of the effects this new friendship would have.
Overtime, the moments you two spent together and got so used to was cut short. Instead Lynn’s time was spent with your three friends.
“Want to go play tennis?”
“I wish, we’re going to the pool today—“
You would try again.
“There’s this diner down the street if you want to try it—“
“I’m going there tonight already.”
Truth be told you felt left out, ignored, and honestly—discarded. She was rushing around, a smile on her face as she ran to meet the friends you introduced to her. She was having fun it seemed, didn’t seem to care or notice that her time with you was minimal.
It hurt. You spent nights in your room, lights turned off leaving the area dark save for the glow on your phone. Doom scrolling and listening to music was now your new past time. There wasn’t much else to do in your room, the place you kept yourself to since you had nobody else to hangout with.
Sure, one could say you’re dramatic. You could go with your girlfriend and your friends, but you’re excluded the entire time. So now you settle to hangout alone during the hours you used to spend with Lynn.
Almost came to the point you started ignoring her, the initial hurt turning into anger. How could she have not noticed your absence?
A call rings out in your room, interrupting the music that was once playing out of your phone. You sigh, reaching behind you and onto your bed to look at the Lock Screen. Lynn’s contact showed, first time in a few weeks. You were so used to it before and now it makes your heart race.
“Lynn?”
“Hey, was just wondering if you’d like to come with us to this movie tonight, it’s that one I remember you’ve been talking about and—“
You take a look to your desk, heart tightening when you notice the homework you have left before tomorrow.
“I’m going to pass, I have a lot of homework,” you fiddle with your nail for a second, “I haven’t seen you in a minute. You could come over? Do homework as well?”
“Well babe, issue is we got the tickets already… but Sean pulled out so we were trying to find someone to fill the space.”
Oh.
That last phrase had you biting your cheek, “nevermind, have fun with your friends.”
You hang up after and the silence in your room is defeating. You’ve never talked to her that way, and you’ve certainly never hung up on her like that before. You’re not alone, her new behavior is unsettling too. Oh the other end of the phone, Lynn’s pulling her phone down from her ear—eyebrows furrowed at the middle at the sight of her Lock Screen.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m gonna go see her, here—“ she says, passing the tickets off to them, “enjoy the movie.”
She almost runs back, making her way quickly over to your house—phone held tight in her hand. Your mother opens the door, smiling at her.
“Oh Lynn, what a surprise. She’s upstairs if you—“
She’s already taking the stars, saying her pleasantries as she does so. The door to the left of the staircase was yours, little pictures hung on the wall beside it almost hinting at it too. She knocks, waiting quite impatiently as she rocks her foot.
“Hey,” she’s talking like she’s lost all breath when you open the door, voice airy and quiet, “can we talk?”
It’s strange. The way you shrug and open the door, not saying a word or moving to hug her. You move right back to your desk, a shaky hand trying to write out the math equations as if she wasn’t currently staring holes into the side of your face. She too looks awkward, mind whirring on what to say while she stands there.
“I’m sorry,” she sighs and you turn to look at her, “I got excited to have friends and I kept choosing to spend time with them instead of you. I’m also sorry for not noticing until now, I thought I was better than this.”
You reach your arms out silently and she’s quick to cross your room and melt into the embrace. You press a kiss to her shoulder, “I missed you.”
“You have me now. What’re you working on?”
“Math, wanna help? I can’t get these even thought you’ve told me how to solve them”
“Course.”
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toournextadventure · 11 months ago
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our little secret iii
Summary: All four of you lost the bet, and now it's time to pay up. Thankfully, Maxine and Bobby-Lynn know just how to make sure Lorraine has to pay up too.
Word Count: 8.9k Warnings: swearing, smut 18+, religious talk (typical of southern states), religious trauma, period-typical homophobia Pairing: Lorraine Day x Fem!Reader (Masterlist)
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“This ain’t sittin’ right with me,” you whispered to Beau as you tried, once again, to get comfortable in the back of RJ’s van.
Despite your best attempts, you, Beau, and Huck were currently sitting with Lorraine’s crew on the way to a location. It had been agreed by everyone - except you, obviously - that you had all lost the bet, so you should all have to own up. Although you still found it profoundly unfair that Lorraine somehow got out unscathed from the entire thing that she had agreed to.
And now you were stuck in the back of a hot, sweaty van with a bunch of hot, sweaty people that were one camera away from having relations for pay.
“We all lost, we all pay up,” Beau whispered back even as he smiled at Maxine. You rolled your eyes; he was such a suck up.
“Lorraine ain’t gotta pay up,” you grumbled, but settled back in your spot anyway.
Admittedly, you were being rather rude. You had barely said hello to any of them, and you hadn’t talked to them since the trip had started. It wasn’t their fault though, it was entirely on you. You just… didn’t know what to say to them. This wasn’t your world, and it was completely overwhelming. You didn’t care what any of them did for a living, but you hadn’t expected to be a part of it.
And if Jackson didn’t quit staring at you, you were going to lose your mind.
“You look awful familiar,” Jackson said with the slightest tilt of his head. He never stopped rubbing Bobby-Lynn’s thighs.
“Ever been a few hours south of Houston?” You asked, shifting in your spot to bring your knees up to your chest.
“Don’t believe I have,” he said with a shrug.
“Must just be a resemblance, then,” you answered.
“Leave her be,” Bobby-Lynn said as she playfully smacked Jackson’s chest. “Can’t you see you’re making her uncomfortable?”
“Do we make you uncomfortable, sweetheart?” Jackson asked.
Oh. Oh, yeah, that was very uncomfortable.
“You were in ‘Nam, right?” Beau asked, thankfully pulling the attention away from you. You supposed he was good for something.
“Yes sir,” Jackson said with a smile, pulling his dog tags out from under his shirt. “Two tours.”
“North or South?” Beau continued. Okay, maybe you didn’t want to hear so much about this anymore.
“South.”
“Y/N’s brother was in South Vietnam,” Huck chimed in. “Maybe that’s where you recognise her.”
Oh, you wanted them both to shut up. You wanted them both to hush right that instant. You looked up and instantly met Lorraine’s eyes from across the van. She was still sitting beside RJ, going over the script and whatever else she usually did. But there was the smallest tug at the corner of her mouth when she looked at you.
I hate you, you mouthed, to which her smile grew before she went back to the script.
“What’s your brother’s name, sweetheart?” Jackson asked, pulling you back into the conversation that you desperately wished would end.
Although you liked the adorable little frown Lorraine sent Jackson’s way at the use of the little nickname. Maybe you were okay with talking with Jackson. If it could get Lorraine’s feathers ruffled, then it was worth it. It was about time the tables were turned.
“Roy,” you said. “Roy Y/L/N.”
“No shit,” Jackson said. “I served with that son of a bitch.”
“Seriously?” You pulled your knees up to your chest and leaned forward. “Which tour?”
“My first,” he said with a smile.
You smiled back. “So you knew him before he…” your voice trailed off into nothing as your eyes slowly lowered to the floor of the van and your smile fell.
Before he went crazy. But you couldn’t say that out loud, could you? Your daddy had done his best to make sure you all knew not to mention Roy’s “affliction.” A test from God, he had called it. He used it as nothing more than a piss poor excuse to remind everyone that that’s what happens when you fall from faith. What would he say about you?
You just kept your mouth shut and rested your chin on your knees.
“He caught the combat trauma,” Huck said in a far softer tone than Beau ever could have managed.
“Now that’s a shame,” Jackson said with a shake of his head.
“Heard it happens more than you think,” Maxine called out from the front seat. It was probably the first thing you had heard from her since… Well, it was the first thing you had heard. “They all come home different.”
Oh, you weren’t so sure you liked this.
“You can’t come back different,” Bobby-Lynn said with a humourless chuckle. “Besides, it ain’t even real, is it?”
“They said it is,” Maxine continued, finally turning around to face everyone. “Put it in their little book last year, called it PTSD or somethin’ like that.”
You didn’t like this topic at all. The hair on the back of your neck stood up and your grip around your knees tightened. They didn’t get to talk about this like it was nothing of impact to you. Hadn’t they just heard Huck say Roy had this… this combat trauma? And they were going to act like nothing was wrong?
Everyone around you continued to talk about this new PTSD thing that was starting to make its rounds. It felt like someone was watching you. Without lifting your head, you looked up and were instantly met with Lorraine staring at you with that look that she had never grown out of. A look that she gave you every time you would be forced to talk about Beau as if he were the love of your life. A look of pity. 
And you hated pity.
“Hey,” Jackson said, a little softer than everyone else’s ongoing conversation. He nudged your foot with his to get you to look over. “If you want me to talk to him, man to man, just let me know.”
His smile was more genuine than you had seen from a stranger in a long time. But there was no comfort in it because his offer was empty. You had no doubt he was being genuine, but how were you going to invite him over and have him talk to Roy without Daddy figuring out? The times were changing, but Jackson was a… certain type of man that you knew Daddy would never happily allow in his home. You and Roy were already scourges upon his land - though he still didn’t know your secret - so how could you possibly invite Jackson over with a clear conscience?
“Thank you,” you said instead, your smile far more convincing than your own thoughts.
The rest of the trip was, by all accounts, uneventful. That blasphemous talk of trauma and war had changed when Lorraine decided it was time to talk about the script. And even as she and RJ went over everything with their stars, and you were faced with the reality that you were truly, painfully alone, you still felt some sort of peace.
You would almost go so far as to say you felt comfortable.
Until you got to the shooting location.
“Are you serious?” You whisper-yelled at Lorraine when you both got out of the van. “You should have told me.”
“Would you have come?” She shot back, quickly shooting a fake smile to Beau and Huck when they passed. “Besides, we’re usin’ the building beside it.”
“You’re full of shit,” you mumbled as you looked up at the steeple of the small chapel.
By all accounts, it was a splendid little church. With a single steeple at the front of the roof and an elevated cross in the back, it almost reminded you of the one at home. Double doors that doubtlessly opened into a small worship room that held eight pews at most before ascending into the podium. A setup not unlike your own church back home, except this one didn’t house the guilt you couldn’t shed.
Beside the church was the parsonage, looking just as you knew them to look. Small, a little run down, painted a white that felt forced upon the environment. The paint was chipped and the window shutters were slightly askew, but it seemed to fit the rather bleak landscape behind it. Not ugly, but not exactly pretty either.
“Whatcha think?” Wayne asked. You jumped, but quickly regained composure. “Ain’t she pretty?”
“It looks cozy,” you said with a shrug. “You’re filmin’ in the parsonage, right? Not the church?”
Wayne laughed. A big hearty laugh that reminded you of all the sweet older men out at the rodeos. The ones that told you you were being ridiculous, but they were going to do their best not to openly tell you. It was a joyous laugh that was both humiliating and comforting simultaneously.
“I nearly forgot Church Mouse said you were a preacher,” he said once his laughter had subsided enough for him to talk.
“Church Mouse?” You asked.
“We’re usin’ the parsonage,” he continued, practically ignoring your question. “We’re not intendin’ to disrespect you.”
He clapped you on the shoulder and cocked his hip. You could see why Lorraine liked him. Overconfident, cocky as hell, but his smile always seemed genuine. Somehow, some way, he had seemed to be in a good mood the entire trip and even now. Optimism at its finest. You wished you could match it.
“Although I do have a favour to ask you,” Wayne said, his voice carrying a lilt that had your stomach churning.
“Yes?” You asked even though you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to know.
“Think you can pray over this little set of ours?” He asked. “Help us break this bad streak we got goin’ on?”
“Oh,” you said with a huff, followed by a nervous chuckle. “Oh, I can do that then.”
Wayne smiled with his teeth and tipped his hat. “Thank ya kindly.”
You kept your eyes trained on the doors of the chapel while Wayne walked away, presumably to help set up whatever it was he was needing to set up. You could pray over the set. It was a little blasphemous to use prayer for something so… risque, but you weren’t a prude. After all, Daddy had always said everyone could use a little prayer.
The handle on the door was a beautiful polished silver; spare no expense for a house of God, of course. Hypocrites, the lot of them. But it was nice to open the doors without even the slightest resistance. Nothing was more terrifying than a run down church with creaky doors. It was like walking into a horror movie.
Your boots echoed off the empty wooden walls of the chapel as you walked down the center aisle, taking in everything about the building. It was a rather beautiful church, you wouldn’t try to deny it. A single, small stained glass window hung above the podium. It would cast a beautiful coloured light where the preacher would be standing on Sunday mornings.
There were three steps up to the podium before you stood behind the lectern and looked out onto the ghostly congregation. Not a single soul was inside the building, but from your spot above the room, you could feel the eyes on you. Momma, Roy, Jimmy. Granma and Granpa were in the back, followed by friends, family, everyone in the congregation that knew you excruciatingly well.
Then there was Daddy, sitting in the aisle of the front pew, watching you with that judgmental look. The one that he gave when he was condemning someone to hell for their sins. And he was looking at you, like he could see through your physical form, all the way to the filthy soul you hid underneath it all.
“You can’t wash away sin,” Daddy said.
You couldn’t breathe.
“I don’t-”
“-There you are.”
The entire congregation disappeared as soon as you saw Lorraine standing in the doorway. Light from the setting sun illuminated her outline, almost a perfect copy of the angel painted above the doorway. And she was. She was an angel, one that you would worship even as you were cast into the pits of hell.
“Thought we lost you,” Lorraine said as she walked down the aisle with far more confidence than she had at home.
Your breath caught in your throat when she finally stepped out of the light in a startling white dress. It looked far too close to a wedding dress. It didn’t make sense, but you couldn’t quit staring. She looked so beautiful. Her smile was illuminating; it left your palms sweaty and your chest hurt-
-you gasped and pulled your hand away from the wooden lectern. The smallest splinter was stuck in your right index finger. It was easy enough to pull out, leaving behind a scarlet drop of blood that grew until dripping down your finger.
“Are you alright?”
You opened your mouth to answer, but when you looked back up Lorraine was in normal clothes. The very same ones she had worn on the trip over. The one she had never changed out of. Right. Maybe you really were crazy.
“I’m fine,” you said with a simple nod. “Just-” you sighed “-doin’ what Wayne asked.”
“Didn’t think he was a praying man,” she said with a frown. “Want some company?”
“Yeah,” you said with a soft smile. “Yeah, I do.”
As you walked down to the bottom of the three steps to meet Lorraine, the blood from your finger smeared across the finely polished wood. You left a stain on that church, same as your own. A stain that, as your Daddy constantly preached, you could never wash away.
—---
“You’re lookin’ a little green, sweetheart,” Huck whispered as he walked up to where you were standing in the back of the room.
“I’m not green,” you whispered back even as you continued to watch the scene unfold before you. “I just- I didn’t know the body could do that.”
“You’re such a preacher’s kid,” he said with a teasing lilt. Thankfully that was all he said before he crossed his arms over his chest and looked forward.
It wasn’t your first time seeing people having sex. You weren’t a complete fool, you had seen it before. Kind of. Okay, maybe it was the most tame sex in the world, but you had seen it! And you weren’t some sort of virgin either, so you weren’t totally in the dark. But you certainly hadn’t seen this before and it was… fascinating.
And a little concerning. Your head tilted. How did it even fit? Did Bobby-Lynn even genuinely find it enjoyable? Well, okay, after that noise you could believe that maybe she did. But all that other stuff, there was no way. No way at all- wait, that actually looked interesting. You wondered if Lorraine would like that.
"You're starin'," Huck whispered.
"I can't help it," you shot back. "It's like when you pass a car wreck. You can't look away."
"I think they would die if they heard you compare watchin' smut to a car wreck," he laughed. It was a little loud, you hoped the boom mic wouldn't pick it up.
"Where's your little boy toy?" You asked, hoping to take the awkward attention away from yourself. Even though you still couldn't look away from the scene. God, you hoped it was over soon.
"Your boyfriend," he said pointedly, "is downstairs talkin' with Maxine."
Oh Maxine. You had only known her for a few days, but you were starting to think she enjoyed stirring up trouble. Within moments of getting set up in the parsonage, she had made friendly with Huck and Beau. A little too friendly. You would have laughed about the whole situation if you hadn’t been attempting to act jealous to keep up the facade.
“Reckon I should go act the part of the jealous girlfriend, huh?” You asked.
“Yeah you should,” he whispered. “Though I doubt anyone will believe it with the way you’re watching your dear Rainey over there.”
You hated him for even bringing it up. So what if you had stopped watching Bobby-Lynn and instead watched Lorraine? The way she gently blew a few strands of hair out of her face while she held the boom mic as steady as you had ever seen. She wasn’t muscular by any means, but you could still see the tone in her shoulders. Or the… the little crinkle between her brows when she focused…
Okay, Huck was right, you needed to leave.
“Told you,” he said as you backed out of the room with a hellish heat in your cheeks.
As soon as the door closed behind you and the pornographic sounds muted, you could finally breathe again. Your mind was clear and you could walk down the stairs without a thought in your head. Well… maybe you had one or two thoughts, but it was okay. You could repent later at the chapel.
Maxine’s laughter was… almost adorable, if she wasn’t trying so hard to seduce Beau. Her nails lazily scratched up and down his bicep, and her face was embarrassingly close to his ear. If you had loved him the way you were supposed to, you would’ve been furious. Should have been furious.
You pictured Lorraine in Beau’s position. Sitting there with Maxine all over her, laughing at the unfunny jokes, leaning a little too close. It made your stomach turn. Your skin was hot and clammy and something pounded inside your head, screaming to be let out. There would have been no shame in your body for grabbing her and dragging her away.
Okay, there you go. Now you had the right feelings.
Your mind had already forgotten Lorraine wasn’t there when you sat in Beau’s lap. Like a good girlfriend should do, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close, inhaling his scent. Sawdust. Something you supposed other women liked, which made him a downright tease.
“How’s your first smut viewin’ goin’?” Maxine asked, which instinctively had your nose scrunch before you regained composure. “That good, huh?”
“It ain’t bad,” you said. “Don’t think I really understand the appeal, though.”
“What part is… unappealing to you?” She asked, her voice far softer than necessary. 
The way she leaned in closer, trailing her eyes over every inch of you… and maybe you could see the appeal. It was something about her hand that had moved from Beau’s arm to yours. Soft. Almost too soft, but you didn’t want it to stop. And she held eye contact like it was an art-
-oh, Maxine was dangerous.
“Oh,” Maxine said with a small smile, “so that’s what it is.”
What was that supposed to mean? You opened your mouth to ask, but the stairs started creaking from the heavy footsteps. The skin underneath Maxine’s fingers felt terribly cold when she pulled back. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t pull back before Lorraine appeared, her brows furrowed and eyes glued to her coworker.
Maxine just smiled.
“Am I interrupting somethin’?” Lorraine asked. Anyone that didn’t know her well would have missed the slight elevation in her tone. A dangerous tone.
“Just learnin’ a bit about each other,” Maxine said. Her hand rested on your arm again and you felt a heat in your cheeks. “Since we’re stuck here together and all.”
Like the dutiful girlfriend, you hid your head in Beau’s neck and tried to ignore his slight shake of silent laughter.
That tension didn’t end even as the sun set and stars came out to play. Everyone relaxed and had their fun and it reminded you of nights with just the four of you. Laughing, teasing, seeing Huck and Beau get closer than when they were at your house. Not too close, but it was still enough. Hell, it was almost enough to ease the usual anger from Lorraine being with R.J.
Until a few days later when it was time for everyone to start paying up on their lost bets.
The days had already started off miserably. Since you were “officially” Beau’s girlfriend, you were set to share a bed with him. But when Huck snuck in and you all tried to fit three people on a twin size mattress? Well, that was just borderline impossible. Clearly it wasn’t fully impossible, seeing as how you all made it work, but that didn’t mean you actually slept at all through the night.
Tack onto that Lorraine and R.J. coming down at the same time each morning, and you realised that you were horribly, terribly alone? You would have killed someone to get even just a single blanket and a big empty spot on the floor. Let you lie like a dog while everyone else became stars.
The first to suffer was, of course, you. Now, you would admit, you had offered to pay up first. In your convoluted train of thought, the sooner you watched Lorraine’s scene, the sooner you could forget it. At least that was what you believed would happen. You hoped that’s what would happen.
But in the moment, as you watched Lorraine getting ready, you knew it wouldn’t be quite that simple. You had to watch her move, see the look on her face, listen to her moans. She certainly never sounded like that when you were with her. Was this something that she genuinely enjoyed? Were you nothing more than a pleasant distraction when she was practically forced to go back home?
“I can’t do this,” you whispered to yourself. 
The hair on the back of your neck stood up as everyone watched you back out of the room, practically tripping over your own feet in your haste. Each step felt like the ground was rushing up to meet you, even as you stayed perfectly upright. You wished you would just trip down the stairs, maybe then it would ease the spiraling of your thoughts.
Downstairs wasn’t much better when you were still aware of exactly what was going on upstairs. Did you mean anything to her? Really, truly? Surely you did, Lorraine was hardheaded, she wouldn’t entertain your presence if she didn’t want you there. On the other hand, she kept RJ around for nothing, so maybe you were on the same level.
You picked up one of the books you had found the other day; some book called The Dead Sea Scriptures. It wasn’t all that fantastic, your daddy actually had a copy in his office at the church. But at least it was a distraction. Just like you. Okay, that certainly wasn’t helpful. Maybe you needed a stiff drink too.
The Hollywood grade acting you did was enough to convince everyone you were just peachy. No one batted an eye when RJ, Wayne, and Jackson left the parsonage after finishing Lorraine’s scene. To get some more groceries, they had said. You didn’t care, it really didn’t matter one way or another where they went.
“So,” Maxine said as she sat down beside you on the couch. Well, she practically sat on you. “You’ve got some explainin’ to do.”
“I’m not explainin’ the book of Job,” you said without looking up from your book. “Jackson already believes there’s a dragon in it and I can’t have that argument again.”
“Not about that, silly,” she said; her hand was hot on your knee. “About you bein’ a third wheel.”
Oh you were not getting into that kind of conversation with Maxine. The past few days had been wonderful, and truthfully you had enjoyed it. They were all a bit… extravagant, but they were kind. As odd as it sounded to you, they felt more like family than most of your own family. You could see why Lorraine spent so much time with them even when she didn’t have to.
But you enjoying their company did not mean you wanted to get into the whole relationship conversation with Maxine.
“Your boys are some of those queers, huh?” She asked. “That’s why they’re up there filmin’ some fake scene while you’re down here.” Her hand squeezed right above your knee. “Readin’ some nerdy little book.”
“It was a bet,” you said. “We’ve always paid up, ever since we were little.” She smirked. “And my book ain’t nerdy.”
“It bother you that you gotta share your man?” She asked, as if you hadn’t even said anything in the first place.
“I-”
“-did you really start without me?” Bobby-Lynn asked when she appeared in the downstairs living room.
You did your best to conceal your displeasure when Bobby-Lynn practically ran over to sit on the other side of you. Her legs were bare, her denim shorts barely covering any part of her. She swung them over your own legs quickly, leaving you officially trapped underneath the both of them. You would’ve been lying if you said it didn’t make your stomach flip.
“How far did ya get?” Bobby-Lynn asked. She was practically bouncing in excitement.
“We just started,” Maxine answered with a smile that would have made you squirm if you weren’t so focused on trying to figure out what was going on.
“Don’t y���all have scenes to shoot?” You asked in a desperate attempt to get them to leave you alone before they really got started.
“Don’t you have someone you should be thinkin’ about?” Maxine asked.
You opened your mouth instinctively, ready to argue, especially when Bobby-Lynn continued to lean closer. They both had some nerve to believe they could catch you off guard with their interrogation that was only just beginning. They had known you for, what, all of a few days? And still they thought they could get something like this out of you? They were pornstars, not detectives.
“Of course I’m thinkin’ about her-”
-maybe they were detectives.
You threw your head back against the couch, a groan leaving your lips. On either side of you, both women practically cheered, giving each other a high-five. It was disgusting, were you nothing more than a pawn in whatever game they were playing? Your daddy was right; couldn’t trust sinners.
You actively ignored the fact that you were one of them.
“Why the long face, sweetheart?” Bobby-Lynn asked.
“It’s not like we couldn’t tell,” Maxine said.
What was that supposed to mean? How did they even notice? As far as you could remember, you hadn’t even spent hardly any time in the same room as Lorraine. How could they get some sort of scandal out of that? Let alone the fact you thought you had said maybe three words to her after she had helped you pray over set on that first day. No, none of that made sense.
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” you said as you finally pulled yourself back upright, ignoring that Maxine’s and Bobby-Lynn’s faces were so close to yours they could kiss your cheeks if they wanted.
“You think every girl is fine with their boyfriend hookin’ up with another guy?” Bobby-Lynn asked.
You knew that would be the issue. You knew it, and you had told all three of them that it was shady at best. There was no logical reason for it, even if it was from some stupid bet. It may have been the 80s, but not everyone was as easy going as the four of you were. Not everyone was as understanding, and though that wasn’t the current issue, it still played its part.
“Not to mention all the lookin’ you’ve been doin’,” Bobby-Lynn chimed in. “You certainly ain’t lookin’ at Beau that way.”
“I-” you closed your mouth just as quickly as you had opened it. What were you going to say to argue? What could you say?
“Honey, we ain’t judgin’,” Maxine said. Her hand felt warm on your neck. She was far too close for comfort. “But this whole thing is pretty sad.”
“It ain’t that sad,” you pitifully attempted to argue.
“Darlin’, it’s downright painful,” Bobby-Lynn said. Her going back and forth with Maxine was giving you whiplash. “Ain’t never seen anyone pine like that.”
“It’s a bit pathetic,” Maxine said.
“Hey,” you said, your eyebrows instantly furrowing. “Hold your horses, that’s unnecessary.”
“Don’t be gettin’ so defensive,” Bobby-Lynn said with a smile that was to die for. “We’re here to help.”
“By throwin’ my self-esteem out the window?” You asked.
“Oh no,” Maxine said with a slowly growing smile, “it’s much better than that.”
This time, when your stomach twisted into knots again, you didn’t feel quite so dreadful about the upcoming plans.
—---
After Bobby-Lynn and Maxine had told you about their sneaky little plan, the parsonage had felt a little less like a prison. When all the guys got back and everyone finished upstairs, you almost felt at peace. There was still the lingering tension when both Lorraine and RJ were in the room, but you could work with it. And for once, you didn’t feel quite so bad when you met Lorraine’s eyes.
“How many scenes we got left?” Wayne asked when everyone settled downstairs for supper.
In a very selfless move, you had offered to cook. It certainly wasn’t because you didn’t want to have to look at anyone while Bobby-Lynn and Maxine got to work on their plan. That would have been selfish, and you were nothing if not a good, selfless, Christian girl.
“Only two or three, we can finish them tomorrow,” RJ said from his spot beside Lorraine on the couch.
“Me and Maxine have an addition to make,” Bobby-Lynn said.
“An addition?” Wayne asked. “What kind?”
“Well,” Maxine said, drawing out the word for longer than necessary, “we were thinkin’ our little Preacher would look awful pretty on her knees.”
“Excuse me?” Lorraine asked.
Suddenly, the food you were cooking required the utmost attention. It would be quite the shame if you burned something. After all, everyone back there was working rather hard on their scenes, they deserved a good meal, didn’t they? And if it gave you an excuse to not see the look on Lorraine’s face then, well, that’s just an added bonus.
“Fitting, ain’t it?” Bobby-Lynn asked.
“And we’d take good care of her,” Maxine drawled. Oh, they were really testing the waters.
It seemed to be working.
“She’s not part of this,” Lorraine said.
“Wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” RJ said. “Might draw more attention to the film.”
“It’s smut, RJ,” she continued, “it draws enough attention on its own.”
“Well hold on now, let’s talk this out,” Wayne said.
Everyone started talking - except, you noticed, for Maxine - and you almost wanted to laugh. If you had known this was all it would take to get Lorraine on edge, you would’ve said something like this ages ago. It sounded like she didn’t even care that RJ was in the room. It was… a nice feeling.
“Did you plan this?” Beau asked, suddenly appearing beside you.
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” you said softly with a shrug. “Everyone here has a mind of their own.”
“Well keep it up,” he said as he rested his hand on the small of your back, “because I think it’s workin’.”
“The answer’s no,” Lorraine said.
“Well why don’t we ask her?” Bobby-Lynn said.
Silence fell over the room quickly; it was suffocating. If you could have, you would have slunk away to the room you shared with the boys. Even before turning around you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. Maybe, if you were really lucky, you could get away without actually answering the question.
That possibility was struck down the moment you turned your head to look out into the room.
Lorraine was looking at you expectantly, most likely believing she knew what you were going to say. In any other situation, she would have been right. You wanted no one but her, and everyone was more than aware of it. Well, everyone but Wayne, RJ, and potentially Jackson. Though judging by the way Jackson was looking at you, he knew too.
“Might be fun,” you said with a shrug and turned back around. “I can always repent next door.”
“Are you serious?” Lorraine asked.
At that you turned back around and leaned your hip against the counter. Was she really going to question you? After what she did for a living? Not once had you ever judged her for it, you had even helped her make light of it when she felt guilt creeping in. She had the nerve to question you?
“Like a heart attack, honey,” you said with far more confidence than you felt.
The look Lorraine gave you was deadly.
“Seems we got our answer,” Maxine said.
Lorraine missed the look she gave Bobby-Lynn.
—---
You hadn’t been asleep for long when the door of your room creaked open. Part of you wished it would have stayed closed; it was the first night you weren’t sleeping on the floor while Huck and Beau took the bed. Maxine was becoming a godsend; she’s the one who had convinced the boys to sleep in the van outside.
“Are you asleep?” Lorraine asked quietly after the door had clicked shut.
“Yes,” you said even as you sat up and looked at her.
She was in the nightgown you remembered getting her for her birthday. Her other one had been so old, there was no way it had even been comfy anymore. Not to mention she had made sure to let you know at every opportunity how badly she needed a new one. Clearly RJ hadn’t listened, so you had gotten it yourself. It was mighty cute, if you did say so yourself.
Lorraine tip-toed her way to the bed, whispering a quick “scoot over” before crawling underneath the covers with you. Even though the temperature outside was mild, her feet were freezing. Which she made sure to make you aware of when she stuck them against your legs, her smile taking over when you yelped and shivered.
“Were you serious about doin’ a scene with Bobby-Lynn and Max?” She asked as she reached out to force her folded hands between yours. She was freezing all over.
“Depends,” you said even as you started trying to warm up her hands. “Were you bein’ serious about tellin’ me no?”
“Of course I was,” she said indignantly.
“Then so was I,” you said.
Lorraine groaned. “You can’t be serious.”
“As a heart attack,” you said just as quickly.
Even though you weren’t serious at all. That was never the actual plan. The plan was simply to get Lorraine jealous enough to come into the room and, what would you know, that’s exactly what she had done. Even if absolutely nothing else happened, you would be happy. At least you got to spend a night with her without having to keep it a total secret.
“Why would you want to do this?” She asked. “It’s not like you don’t know how it works.”
“Maybe I want to learn a few things,” you said with as much of a shrug as you could do lying on your side.
“What could you possibly learn from smut?” Lorraine asked. “It’s all fake.”
“Were all those noises you made fake?” You asked. “Cause you never do that with me.”
The look on her face was almost offensive. Her eyes lit up like she was in on some little secret. Was she really going to laugh at you? She never laughed at you, not even when she rightfully should. Her hand now cupping your jaw was not enough to distract from the fact she was laughing.
“Is that what you’re worried about?” She asked. “You think I don’t like havin’ sex with you?”
“Not that you don’t like it,” you said quickly. “Just that,” you sighed, “you don’t like it as much.”
Her thumb brushed against your bottom lip. “You make me feel things none of those guys could even dream of.”
“Well you have to say that now,” you said as you leaned further into her hand. “Otherwise I wouldn’t let you put your cold feet on me.”
Her smile slipped to something a little different, a bit more seductive. You didn’t put up any resistance as she used her elbow to push your shoulder until you were laying on the bed. With the same ease as you had seen numerous times, she followed, her legs on either side of you and her weight resting comfortable on top of you. A position you very much loved, even without the arousal that came with it.
“Is there any way I can convince you not to film tomorrow?” Lorraine asked, lowering her tone in such a way that had you squirming underneath her. “What can I do?”
God you were pathetic, she hadn’t even touched you yet.
It was supposed to be a simple question, but you took it to heart. Of course she could convince you, you weren’t planning on filming anyway, but what could you get out of this arrangement? There had to be something you truly wanted, especially now that you had some sort of leverage.
Ah. That was it.
“Somethin’ we haven’t done before,” you said. “Somethin’ you like.”
Her smile slowly grew as she thought of what she wanted. The weight on top of you shifted until her hands pressed your shoulders further into the mattress. You felt her breath on your lips before you felt her kiss, quick and soft and eager. It was enough to get your heart racing even when she pulled away. She was off you in a moment, practically running out of the room.
You sat up on your elbows and watched the open door. What was she doing? Surely she wasn’t going to just leave, right? No, she wouldn’t do that. Right? That had been one of her more mischievous smiles, and she was absolutely one for payback. But you also knew Lorraine was nothing if not eternally aroused, so surely she wouldn’t just leave.
At least she better not, because if she teased you like that only to go and get back in bed with RJ, you were going to lose your mind. You weren’t usually one to make a scene, but you could always make an exception. The wrath of God, and all that good preacher nonsense.
You’re in a house of sin.
Yes you were, and you were going to partake in it for the night. Repentance was only 50 feet and a few hours away. If Lorraine could remove her cross necklace during scenes, surely you could remove the guilt from your chest for a few hours. God may have been in the walls, watching your every move, but He could look away for the time. You were far past the point of caring.
By the time Lorraine came back into the room, you were already jittery. Her hands were behind her back as she closed the door quietly, the click almost inaudible. that mischievous smile was back, but you noticed the way she tapped her foot against the floor, still in the same spot.
“You promise you wanna try somethin’ new?” She asked, her voice uncertain, carrying over the thick air.
“I’m sure,” you said, “just get over here.”
Her steps were slow, methodical on the straight path to the bed. The whole way her hands stayed behind her back. You wondered what she had, but you couldn’t think too hard. Hell, the sway of her hips could have made you forget your own name.
That familiar weight settled on you again as Lorraine straddled you, placing whatever was in her hands off to the side, just out of your sight. When  you tried to twist and look at it, she pressed down against your shoulders again, her lips instantly finding yours.
Her nightgown rested high on her thighs, and you were never one to keep your hands to yourself. She sighed when you slid your hands under her nightgown, resting on her hips. Her breath tickled on your cheek. You couldn’t hold back your quiet chuckle, which Lorraine returned, smiling into the kiss.
“Don’t tickle,” she mumbled against your lips.
“What,” you said just as softly, “that ain't romantic?”
She laughed again, eliciting the same sound out of you as your hands continued up. Your knuckles brushed against the underside of her breasts, transforming her laugh into something a little more breathy but no less joyful. A sound that, you decided, was much better than anything you had heard during her scene.
“Take it off, Raine,” you said.
“What's the magic word?” She said before sitting up straight.
“Please,” you said breathlessly.
She barely waited for the word to leave your mouth before she pulled the nightgown over her head. Every time you saw her undress was like the first time. Your heart raced as she uncovered every inch of skin, from her thighs to her hips to her breasts. Not a single space had been neglected by you in your times together, and you weren't going to start that night.
You sat up, keeping a hand on Lorraine's back to keep her in your lap. She didn't hesitate to grab your face and pull you into a kiss. It immediately shot a wave of arousal down your spine, pooling in your lower abdomen. And for once, that usual spark of guilt was absent.
“Yours too,” she barely managed to say between kisses.
You couldn't speak, simply nodded as you fumbled around like a teenager. Or course the hem of your shirt would hide from you on the one night you not only had Lorraine, but a bed. She laughed again and pulled away. You tried to chase her - you would always try to chase her - but she pulled back again and placed a finger to your lips.
“Let me help,” she said.
Her fingers were so light against your skin that it tickled. She found the hem of your shirt quickly but took her sweet time pulling it up. Those delectable nails of hers scratched against your skin the entire time. Over your sides, the sides of your breasts, the underside of your arms as you held them up for her to finish pulling the shirt off.
“Is this Beau’s?” She asked.
“It’s comfy,” you said meekly.
She tossed the shirt to the side. “You should wear one of mine sometime.”
“I thought you liked me better shirtless,” you teased.
“Maxine has a word for people like you,” Lorraine said when she pulled you back in for a kiss. “She'd call you a minx.”
“I like it,” you said, kissing her back and running your knuckles over her nipples. Her shiver was delightful. “Sounds downright sinful.”
“Stop talking,” she said.
And oh god you did. How could you even consider doing anything else when you were enveloped by her? Her scent, her taste, the feel of her skin, warm against yours. If kissing her was the final nail in your coffin, you would accept death gracefully and with no regrets.
She nipped your lip when you lightly pinched her nipples. Never hard enough to hurt, no, but just enough to draw the most perfect little yelp from her lips. In return, her hands fell to your ribs, pushing against you until you were laying on the bed again.
You shifted, pulling your knee up until you pressed against her. She let out a breathy sigh, but otherwise kept kissing you. There was just something mesmerizing about the way she tasted. An ambrosia not for the gods, but for you alone. A sustenance for your very mind, body, and soul.
“Take these off,” Lorraine said, pulling lightly against the pants that you had also stolen from Beau.
In your defense, he was your fake boyfriend.
“Will you take yours off?” You asked even though you had already started trying to take your pants off.
She nodded hastily. “I want to feel you for a moment.”
You would've happily let her feel you for as long as she wished. All she had to do was give you the smile she was giving you in that moment. The one she had before the accident, the one she saved exclusively for the times she was alone with you. If she looked at you like that for the rest of eternity, you would be in heaven.
Her skin was hot against yours as she laid completely on top of you. On instinct, you wrapped your arms around her shoulders and back as she tucked her head into your neck. Her breath tickled your collar bone, but you couldn't have been happier.
How could such peace be a sin? Such pure love, something that would not only be applauded but praised if you had but been born a man? What difference could there truly be, aside from the shape of your body. The guilt sparked in your chest once again, but this time, you quickly stomped it out.
You would not be shamed for loving Lorraine. Not that night.
The position you were both in was comfortable and, quite frankly, innocent. But that didn't ease the inferno that was still raging inside you. If you had the ability to have Lorraine to yourself more than once in a blue moon, you would have been satisfied. But the “lust of the flesh,” as daddy called it, was as present and angry as always.
Thankfully, Lorraine seemed to feel the same when you felt her hips move and you felt her arousal on your thigh.
“Wanna try somethin’ new?” She asked, placing a seemingly innocuous kiss behind your ear.
“With you?” You asked. You placed your finger under her chin and lifted her face until you could see her eyes. “Always.”
She smiled and kissed you quickly before sitting up. You tried to sit up with her, but she used her bad hand to push you back down with ease. Not that it stopped you from trying to look around her to see the thing she had brought into the room. Her smile turned nervous, but no less excited as she finally turned back around.
“Is that-”
“-Maxine and Bobby-Lynn used one like it a few times,” Lorraine started to explain while she started pulling straps around your hips and thighs. “I asked ‘em to get me one not too long ago.”
“Jesus, Raine,” you said as she pulled the straps tighter.
“It works the same as-”
“-I can guess how it works,” you interrupted.
Her hands slowed to a stop as she finished securing the… phallic toy in place. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“Lorraine,” you said as softly as you could, finally sitting up - as best you could without feeling too awkward - and placing your hand on the scarred side of her jaw. “I’m more than okay with it.” She leaned further into your hand. “If you asked me to wear only my boots and spurs, I would do it.”
“Oh yeah?” She asked, her teasing smile coming back in full force.
“Don’t push your luck, Day,” you said before leaning forward to kiss her again.
She moaned softly into the kiss. “If I did it right, you should feel it too,” she said as she lifted herself onto her knees, hovering over you. “So let me know.”
You nodded and pulled her into a kiss. As curious as you were to watch, you wanted to feel her lips against yours. You knew the moment she lowered herself onto the toy; her gasp was to die for. Shorty, breathy, almost inaudible if you hadn’t been kissing her already. The sound alone was enough to leave you soaking and needy.
But then you felt the toy press against you, and you knew you were a goner. Lorraine stayed still in your lap, catching her breath, and you would have been more than happy to keep her there. If she moved, you swore you would cum on the spot. It wasn’t a feeling that was so much better than everything else, but simply the knowledge that you were both feeling something together.
“I guess it works,” Lorraine teased even though she could barely keep herself in control.
“It does,” you said through clenched teeth as you tried to stay strong when she started moving again.
She didn’t have to move for long before you pulled her into a kiss, holding her tight against you. You did your best to move your hips with her. It was awkward and clumsy, and you both laughed a little when, more than once, you moved wrong and the toy slipped out. But you were okay with that, because it meant you got to hear her little gasp again.
As wrong as it felt, you had to picture Jackson to get a good rhythm going, or at least to get started. Specifically, you thought of the way his hips had moved with each thrust. You knew you got it right when Lorraine moaned, her head falling to your shoulder. If you hadn’t been so focused on not cumming or losing your rhythm, you would’ve moaned just the same.
“Baby,” she mumbled against your neck. Her nails dug into your shoulders; you would have to cover the marks up in the morning.
You knew what she wanted; she only ever truly called you “baby” when she was almost ready to cum. And you were more than happy to oblige. You kept one arm wrapped tight around her waist, holding her in place while your free hand slid down her stomach. Past the almost unnoticeable scatter of scars and through that small patch of hair.
Her hips jolted against your hand when you brushed against her clit. It was sloppy work; you would need to get used to the unusual angle later. But clearly it didn’t matter, because while her moans stayed quiet, they got higher in pitch until she bit down on your shoulder.
You used that as your sign to follow her, not even needing three more thrusts before you tipped over the edge along with her. You held her tight, hyper aware of every inch of her skin against yours. Of the slick sweat that coated both your bodies. Of the sting of her teeth and nails, but you would rather die than have her stop. Of your breaths intermingling between you until you were of one breath, one heartbeat, one soul.
Heaven existed, and it was right in that moment with Lorraine.
“You’re bleedin’,” she said softly. You didn’t have to look to know what she meant.
“It’s alright,” you said, pressing a light kiss to the side of her head. “You can nurse me back to health later.”
Lorraine giggled. A light sound that reminded you of when you were all kids and you would do anything to get that sound out of her. It was a reminder of simpler times, back when you were too young to understand that everyone believed what you felt for each other was wrong. A sin. Back when love was just that; love.
You let yourself fall back onto the bed, pulling Lorraine with you. She made a small noise when the toy moved inside her, but quickly settled back onto your chest. Her nails felt good scratching lightly against your skin, more comforting than ticklish. A nervous habit of hers.
“Did you learn all that from Jackson?” She asked.
“Don’t remind me,” you said; she chuckled. “I ain’t proud to say I had to picture him there for a minute.”
“Well, you gave him a run for his money,” she said.
“Think so?” You asked; you felt her nod against your chest. “Cause you still didn’t make the same noises.”
“Because these were real,” she said. Her voice grew quiet. “Everything with you is real.”
You wished she wouldn’t say things like that. That she could just let you both lie there, comfortable in the silence. Everyone was aware of the situation, but just once you wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. That you actually did get to love her without feeling shame or guilt.
You just pulled her closer.
“I love you,” you said.
“I love you,” she repeated.
It wasn’t enough, but for the moment, you were going to pretend it was. For the moment, you could pretend this was your daily life. Being in the same bed as Lorraine, showing her just how much you loved her, how much she truly meant to you. Holding her tight until you were of the same body and spirit, because no matter what the world thought, you were.
It wasn’t enough. But it would do.
“Are you really goin’ to film a scene tomorrow?” Lorraine asked.
“Absolutely not,” you said. “Bobby-Lynn and Maxine just wanted to getcha all riled up.”
Lorraine lifted her head from your chest and lowered her brows.
“Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack,” you said with a smile.
“Sometimes I hate all of y’all,” she mumbled, quickly ducking her head back underneath your jaw. You still managed to catch the smile on her lips.
“I love you too, darlin’,” you said, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of her head.
Now this. This was enough.
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suzukiblu · 4 months ago
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WIP excerpt for 🦄; Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good! (( chrono || non-chrono ))
They take the cookbooks into the kitchen together and page through them, leaving Tawky on the couch to read, and Billy compares some recipes with some other recipes and also with what’s in the kitchen, and Lynn spends most of the conversation frowning and not really saying much, like, definitive stuff. But also Lynn doesn’t know what about ninety-nine point nine percent of literally all food in existence tastes like, so Billy’s not really surprised by that. Cadmus taught him how to cook, but didn’t teach him how anything actually tasted. 
Thinking about that, Billy is very, very strongly reminded of them teaching Lynn how to read, but not ever telling him any stories. 
He does kind of wonder why they taught Lynn how to cook and drive, though. Reading makes more sense, if they wanted him to be able to file mission reports and read mission briefings and stuff like that, but cooking and driving don’t really seem like . . . well . . . 
A weapon wouldn’t need to cook or drive, right? They’d just be . . . supplied, or deployed, or . . . like, they wouldn’t get taught how to do anything that they could do to take care of themself, or live outside a lab, or . . . 
Yeah. That’s a little weird, now that Billy’s thinking of it. He wonders if . . . well, he’s not sure what he’s wondering, exactly. 
But he’s wondering, he guesses. 
Lynn sorts through all the meat in the fridge by its expiration dates, which is really smart, Billy thinks–though Lynn gets embarrassed again when he says so–and then sorts the vegetables by what should last the longest, apparently. Then he takes out the salmon and asparagus and some little red potatoes and puts it all on the kitchen island and–hesitates, sort of, and glances at Billy. 
Billy kind of wishes it weren’t so obviously a question, but at least they’re communicating better, he figures. 
Or hopes, anyway. 
“That looks good,” he says, peering at the food, and a little bit of tension leaves Lynn’s shoulders. “I don’t think I’ve had salmon before. Is it hard to cook?” 
“. . . I don’t know,” Lynn says stiffly, looking away. Billy blinks, confused, and then realizes–right. Lynn knows how to cook, but he’s never actually done it. 
“Oh, okay,” he says. “Well, we can try it and find out, then.” 
Lynn frowns a little, then glances back at him. 
“You’ve never had salmon?” he asks skeptically. “. . . do you not eat at all, then, or . . . ?” 
“I mean, I do,” Billy says, trying not to sound awkward or defensive about it. Lynn’s just asking because he doesn’t know, after all. “Just not a lot, I guess.” 
Is salmon a weird thing not to have eaten before? He’s more used to, like, fish sticks and breaded haddock and stuff like that. Just whatever frozen stuff the latest fosters bought in bulk and popped in the oven, basically. So really he guesses he hasn’t eaten much fresh fish at all, actually. Not since–
Well. It’s just been a long time. That’s all. 
. . . a really long time.
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angellettes · 2 years ago
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𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 ➔ JACK CHAMPION
─ synopsis. reader is an actress and jack champion. She is playing the part of Ethan landry's girlfriend in scream VI and accomplice
─ notes. I'm not a big fan of how I wrote this it kinda sucks but I hope you guys like it ♡ genre/warnings.. none for this chapter just pure fluff!♡ my page is minors dni. this chapter is suitable for any age but minors are not welcome on my page for their own safety
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You and Jack had been dating for 3 years, and unknowingly were both casted for Scream VI. You hadn't found out about both getting casted until you had to meet the cast members before shooting was set to start. Certainly the experience of being a couple and playing a couple in a literal horror movie was Certainly interesting.
you both were getting ready on set to start filming, as you had a conversation about how funny it was that you were unknowingly casted in the same movie and playing as a couple in the movie, and how funny it was. your character's name was Amira lynn. You quite liked your character. It was simple but not boring. Your character was supposed to be a fashion major, and you were also the accomplice of Ethan Landry. Your role was interesting, had a good smart, but kinda ditzy personality.
The first few days of shooting got a little boring because you were there in a lot of the movie. Your character was sort of like ethan's alibi. When Ethan wasn't around during an attack you had to vouch for him. As the characters got more suspicious of Ethan you guys had to make a little plan to get them off track, so you staged an attack by ghostface. The filming for your attack was thrilling and kind of fun, as it involved getting chased around, thrown into walls, and getting tackled several times. Next thing you knew your character was dead during the attack scene after Mindy accused Ethan. You getting killed got them off track.
You stuck around on set for the rest of the time until your last scene which would be the reveal. Your character was Ethan's accomplice, who would make calls, do occasional killing, and vouched for him if they got suspicious.
"now die a fucking virgin" Jenna seethes out as Jack's characters dies by getting stabbed in the throat. You scream out and run towards his "dead boddy and hold him "please don't leave" you sobbed out. Then your character dies by being shot in the back. You flop down on the ground next to jack, holding his hand, talking about how in another happier life you would've gotten away with the gruesome crimes you did, and would've graduated college and got married. Melissa walks up to you, shooting you in the head, and then your part is done.
At the premiere of the movie interviewers went wild and swarmed around you asking questions about you it felt to play the roles, and how was your reaction to the fans seeing you both in the same movie. You had know about the shipping mostly from fan edits of you both. And the reason why the public was shipping you is because they didn't know you and Jack were dating for 3 years. Tonight you guys were revealing it.
"How do you both feel about being shipped together by the fans?" the interviewer asks. You and Jack look at eachother with a grin. "Well funny thing is that me and Y/N have been dating for 3 years so I mean it kinda makes us feel giddy" Jack says with a confident look on his face as his arm is wrapped around your waist. All the interviewers had the most priceless reactions after the statement. Made you wonder how people on social media were gonna take it.
When you were on your way home, you checked Twitter and Instagram. You both were shocked to see people were calling you the hottest couple, and some made comments about the fact that you hid it for 3 years, but some weren't shocked because they kind of already had hints and figured it out.
Once you got home you and Jack felt so giddy about the things they said, as you got comfortable, making little comments about it, and laughing, as you held eachother. You both got in bed and immediately Javk pulled you right flush to him, as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. It was nights like this after a busy day that felt the most euphoric. Holding eachother thinking about how you would go about the next day, and just having some cute pillow talk. You both decided to have a scream movie marathon as you fell asleep, feeling eachother's closeness and warmth against eachother. You were so happy to be with this amazing boy.
You both decided to go out the next morning, and get some things to eat, and go shopping, and just have a little day together in celebration of your reveal, and finishing the movie. As you got home there were a ton of notifications on your phone. You opened your phone to see, and saw a post of Twitter, saying " Jack Champion and Y/N L/N spotted today at ///", the post had several pictures of you and Jack walking. You called him over to see. and once he saw he laughed. You closed your phone and looked up at the tall, curly haired, giddy boy you lived with all your heart. He wrapped him arms around you and laid kisses on the crown of you head, and going down to your neck.
"On camera and off, we're always sweet as sugar, and I love that about us. I'm happy we don't have to hide anymore, baby. I love you with all my heart" Jack coos at you, his arms still wrapped around you leaning his head on yours. You sigh in contentment and entangle your fingers with his. "I'm so glad we don't have to hide anymore either. I love you with all my heart, jack". You both looked up at eachother smiling, as you leaned into eachother, and your lips finally met his you knew that no matter what, Jack wold always be by your side, and he knew you would always be by his.
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do not plagiarize, translate,or repost my work.
finished- April 8, 2023 , 9:16 AM
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citruslullabies · 8 months ago
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Hello my friend ☺️
Can you please do a Rich Dogday x Reader, where a random employee is flirting or trying to ask the reader out on a date but our lovely and friendly canine mascot gets jealous and clingy.
Note: Rich Dogday and the reader are together. Please take your time on making this and don’t forget to take breaks as well as eating snacks.
I love your fanfic work it’s very intriguing and amazing to read. I want to start writing some Poppy Playtime fics but I’m very anxious 😥.
I mainly write about MK 1 but I wanted to do something different. Never give up my friend. Greetings from Vancouver, Canada 🇨🇦 🥰.
Ahh! I'd love to read what you have to write! And hello from Indiana, the United States!
Trigger Warnings: none
Romantic/platonic: romantic
Requested by: lynn-w3st
Category: fluff
Ship (romantic or platonic): Dogday (rich) x reader
Word count: 413
Passive Aggression
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You and your husband Rich both worked at the Poppy’s Playco center. Rich was the mascot of Dogday, and you prepared snacks for the kids. You were on break and enjoying your own lunch, when all the sudden a coworker of yours walked up to you. It was a new hire, some dude that worked in the kitchen with you. He helped prepare meals while you prepared snacks. “Hm? Oh, hey. What's up Josh?” You asked softly while swallowing a bite of your sandwich.
Your coworker, Josh, sat down beside you and had a sheepish smile. He seemed to take notice of your ring but ignore it as he put an arm over your shoulder. “Heyyy.. so, I was just wondering.. would you like to go out sometime? We can go to the movies or something.” He cooed and had a large overly confident smile on his face. You seemed confused before awkwardly chuckling. “Uh.. sorry. But I'm married.” You responded, and before the man could continue persisting like it was clear he would do, your husband in his big dogday costume came over.
Rich walked over after hearing the conversation on his way to greet his spouse, and was not at all happy with it. He was fine with you, since you had respectfully told your co-worker that you were married, but he wasn't happy with Josh. The fluffy mascot carefully brushed Josh’s arm off of you and wrapped his own arms around you, taking the Dogday helmet off and kissing your forehead. “Hey, Angel.. What are you having for lunch today?” He cooed, asking while looking at the other man as if telling him to get the hint and back off. “Huh? Oh! I'm having a sandwich and some apple slices and carrots.” You answered happily, enjoying your husband's presence.
It took a few minutes, but it finally got through Josh’s thick skull to walk away. Of course sulking and huffing like a child being denied ice cream but still. Rich carefully peppered your head and face in kisses, rubbing your shoulder as he smiled. “That's good..” he hummed, finally having the pleasure of having his eyes on you and feeling his jealousy slowly wash away. He knew you were faithful, but it pissed him off when other people would ignore the ring on your finger or the ring on his.
You were his, and he was yours. He didn't understand why people seemed to lack the capacity to understand that.
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Thank you for requesting!
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jilyawards · 1 month ago
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The Jily Fandom Rec List 2024 is a compilation of Jily stories our readers want to keep an eye on for this year's awards.
SEPTEMBER
all the king's horses, all the king's men (completed, 7.1k) by @jilyss. Rated G.
As queen, Lily Evans faces the suffocating weight of isolation and loneliness that comes with the crown. The only constant in her life is James Potter, her loyal and ever-watchful royal guard.
it's brighter now (WIP, 21.6k as of 30 Sept 2024) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.
“Oh, come on," James says, grinning. "I know you know who I am.” Something strange flashes across her face. “Is that so?” He drops into the open seat across from her and gestures toward his face, smiling widely. “This doesn’t ring any bells?” “Your…face,” she clarifies slowly.
Raising A Kid With My Ex (completed, 74.5k) by @wearingaberetinparis. Rated M.
James Potter and Lily Evans, two Phoenix Radio employees who had secretly admired one another from afar, pretended to be fake exes for their show “Shout Out To My Ex”. When Lily fell pregnant with James’ baby – after a whole lot of drama, disbanding “Shout Out To My Ex” and a breakup – the soon-to-be parents started a new show, named “Knocked Up By My Ex” in which they documented their pregnancy. Now, baby Harry has been born and Lily and James have to learn to navigate the challenges - major highs and some surprising lows - of parenthood together, despite the fact that they haven’t even been together for a year. A whole lot of chaos combined with a whole lot of love makes the perfect recipe for a new show: “Raising A Kid With My Ex”. Their fans’ well-intended advice, of course, might just be the cherry on top (even though some of it is truly completely bonkers). Yet, as James and Lily navigate parenthood together, they have to battle unprecedented forces that are making their journey as new parents a lot more difficult than they had anticipated. A Jily Modern AU inspired by Rachel Lynn Solomon’s “The Ex Talk” and sequel to “Shout Out To My Ex” and “Knocked Up By My Ex”.
crossbow, gun, and magic (and other stories) (oneshot collection, 12.8k as of 30 Sept 2024) by apalapucian. Rated T.
a collection of unrelated stories ft. james, lily, sirius, remus, and (occasionally) peter. so far: i. james, sirius, and lily; modern au ii. in the universe where sirius is the first to know; jily; hogwarts iii. blackevans (old fic rewrite); hogwarts; jily iv. james's last thoughts (old fic rewrite); jily; canon compliant v. order mission at a pureblood party; jily vi. zombie apocalypse au (old fic rewrite); jily vii. lily drunk-proposes to james (tumblr prompt) viii. james gets caught by death eaters (tumblr prompt)
Surface Pressure (completed, 1.3k) by @eastwindmlk. Rated T.
Lily dealing with the weight of her own expectations in 7th year
Partners (completed, 1.3k) by @ohmygodshesinsane. Rated T.
James is the last person Lily expects to visit when she's ill in the Hospital Wing, but the new Head Boy has more than one surprise for her.
Literary Sophistication (completed, 2.5k) by @andromedabooks. Rated G.
A quick Jily bookstore AU from my Tumblr
let me make it up to you (completed, 3.4k) by @kay-elle-cee. Rated E.
Two weeks ago, James left for a mission in the middle of the night without saying a word. Now he's is back, and Lily's not so quick to forgive.
speak now (completed, 1.4k) by @firefeufuego. Rated T.
The fuse has been lit. Lily can almost hear the crackling hiss of it, feel the building burn of it in the air as Sirius takes the reins of the conversation, as drinks are bought and poured down newly dry throats, and eventually as last orders are called and the four of them are standing outside and saying farewell with kisses on cheeks. Sam and Sirius apparate away. Lily and James do not. They stand, eyes fixed firmly on each other, ready to ignite. ‘Not forever, you said?’ James asks, his voice deep and quiet in a way that’s never been hers to hear before now. Follow-up to the lovely kay-elle-cee's 'silence and patience, pining in anticipation'.
crafting chemistry (completed, 4.8k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.
“Is there something that needs to be discussed between the three of us?” Minerva prompts, her eyes narrowing sharply. Lily’s face betrays her first. A bright flush creeps slowly along her cheeks, blooming from her neck upward, as though her skin can’t hide the emotion simmering underneath. She keeps her eyes stubbornly trained on the far corner of the office, anywhere but James. Minerva notices James’s hand, the one that had been habitually running through his hair, freeze mid-motion, his fingers tightening slightly.
under the influence of loss (completed, 2.1k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.
“Like what? You fancy me! Kiss me.” Each time she says it, it’s like a new bruise blooms around his heart, her words pressing on all of them at once. “I can’t!” he shouts, the frustration cracking through. “Because I’ve been drinking?” she demands, a bitter laugh escaping her. “Your chivalry is duly noted, Potter, but I’m giving you a pass here. Just—” “It’s not about that,” he interrupts.
common ground (completed, 3.8k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated G.
Lily pauses, suddenly aware of James’s intense gaze. “What? Why are you…” Heat rushes to her cheeks, and she hates it. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s just…it’s a good look on you, Evans.” “What is?” she asks, self-consciously. His grin widens. “Mischief.”
sidewalk chalk, covered in snow (completed, 8.7k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated G.
She didn’t mean to get used to any of them. [or: Lily Evans is strictly anti-Marauders...until she isn't. one by one.]
Till Death Do Us Part (Let It Be Quick) (WIP, 39.1k as of 30 Sept 2024) by @wearingaberetinparis. Rated M.
“Till death do us part,” she concluded, all air sucked from her lungs. Her fate signed, sealed and delivered. As the priest spoke his final words, she found herself ensnared in her adversary's gaze, trapped by the weight of it, her mouth opening as she spoke under her breath - almost subconsciously: “Let it be quick.” A Jily Arranged Marriage AU in which Lady Lily never imagined she would fall for the husband she was forced to wed. Inspired by My Lady Jane.
Check out the previous months' recs too: January, February, March || April || May || June || July || August
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billybob598 · 1 year ago
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Well Shit (Lena Oberdorf x Reader)
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Hellooo people!!! This was requested by the amazing, lovely, (almost) perfect @wosofanstuff! Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY @ares3460!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY GRANDMA. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one. As always any feedback good or bad is welcomed! Have fun!
Word Count: 865 (let's ignore this)
Lena observes as you go through finishing drills, dribbling around the cones seamlessly and completing a give-and-go with Lynn flawlessly. To anyone else, it would have looked like Lena was watching you because of your skills. Instead, she was admiring how beautiful you looked, how your hair fell just right over your shoulders, how your eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly in concentration as you controlled the ball, how your legs flexed when you kicked the ball, how the sun shined onto your face making you look ethereal. Yeah, it was fair to say that Lena was whipped. Luckily, you had been dating for a little over three months now. The German midfielder had no idea how she managed to convince you on a date, but by some miracle of God, she did. No one knew that you were together, both of you agreed that it would be too much stress on the relationship if the team knew. You loved them to bits, but sometimes they could be the nosiest people ever. 
“Obi?” A voice breaks her out of her trance.
“Huh?” Jule just chuckles at the confused look on the young German’s face.
“I know Y/N is an amazing player but we have to go do media,” she tells her friend.
“Oh, yeah, okay,” Lena’s cheeks heat up at being caught staring at you. Thankfully Jule just thought she was watching because you were good.
 Later that night, you’re at your apartment when your phone dings from an incoming text. 
Obi💚
Can I come over?
Of course xx
Be there in 5
Sure enough, a knock drew you away from the kitchen five minutes later. When you open the door you’re met with your girlfriend in an oversized hoodie and two cans of Fanta in hand. Fully opening the door so she can walk inside, you watch as she expertly moves around your home, proving how much time she spends there. 
“What are you making?” She asks, gesturing to the kitchen.
“Spaghetti. Have you eaten yet?” You say heading back to check on the pasta sauce. 
“No.”
“Okay, it should be ready in like five minutes,” you wander back to the living room to see your girlfriend already setting up a movie on Netflix. 
The movie plays in the background as you eat your dinner, with light conversation continuing throughout the night. When the movie ends, Lena picks up the dirty dishes and begins to clean the kitchen. You sit on the island watching her. How one person could be so perfect you have no idea. 
“You’re staring,” Lena says with a smirk. You roll your eyes, a blush creeping up your neck.
“No, I wasn’t,” you say defensively. Her smirk only gets wider as she raises her eyebrows. God, how you wanted to just kiss the smirk right off her face. 
“Sure, schatz.”
“If anyone is staring it’s you,” you say, deciding to turn the tables on her.
“What?” She asks confused.
“I saw you staring at training today, you were practically drooling.” Now it’s Lena’s turn to blush.
“Shut up,” she mutters and throws the towel she was using at you. You laugh, music to her ears. A smile works its way onto her face and she walks around the counter picks you up and gently places you on top of the counter. Considering she’s got a good three inches on you, it’s not that difficult. She steps in between your legs, slowly reaches up and caresses your cheek. Your eyes flicker down to her lips and without hesitation, Lena tilts her head up and presses her lips against yours. One of your hands moves to her hair, running through it. Lena lets out a soft moan. You immediately take advantage and slip your tongue inside. The two tongues fight for dominance while Lena’s hand grips onto your waist. Her other hand finds the small of your back. Your senses are overwhelmed, the feeling of her lips on yours, her hair between your fingers, her hands all over your body, just…her. Then, she removes her mouth from your and starts to plant wet kisses down your neck. They get lower and lower and lower until-
“What the fuck?!” Someone yells, interrupting the makeout session. Both of you jump apart looking very startled. You freeze when you see half of the team standing there watching you with their jaws hanging and eyes comically wide.
“Well shit,” Lena mumbles, pulling away from you a little more. Of course, you had completely forgotten that you had given a spare key to Sveindís. And of course, she chose that night to break in and bring half the team for an impromptu movie night. Everyone was silent for a few more seconds when finally Alex spoke up,
“Are you two like, together?” You glance warily at Obi, she looks at you with a soft smile and slips her hand into yours before answering,
“Yeah, we are.” This opens up the floodgates.
“Oh my God!”
“How long have you been dating?”
“Who asked out who?”
“Who else knows?”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us.”
“I knew it!”
It’s safe to say that movie night did not happen.
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patriwoso · 1 year ago
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are you flirting with me?
lena oberdorf x reader
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“Pick up” You grumble, the facetime ringtone going on longer than you liked.
“Hey baby” She spoke, your favourite sound. “Sorry I left you hanging, my mom was on the phone.”
You bite you lip softly, fiddling with the drawstring on the hoodie you were wearing, her hoodie.
“Don’t worry, your here now. I missed your face.” You smirk softly.
“Are you flirting with me Miss Y/L/N” She gasps.
“Maybe I am, Miss Oberdorf.”
-
The next morning, your alarm wasn’t much help.
“Y/N!!” Gio shouts, barging through the door. “Wake up!” She throws a pillow at you.
“Fuck Gio” You groan, throwing the pillow back but completely off target.
“Spent too much time on call to you lover girl eh?” She teased.
You stuck your finger up at her then flopped your head back onto your pillow.
-
“What are you moping about?” Gio slumps beside you, trying to look at your phone to see who you were messaging.
“Hmm, nothing.” you quickly turn your phone off, not wanting her to see. “Why are you still up anyways, you said you were going to sleep.” You raise an eyebrow slightly.
Gio shrugged. “Got bored, came to make a drink.”
You fiddle with your phone case, eager for your own space to continue your message conversation.
“I went back to claim what was mine.” Gio looks at you.
“You what?” You look at her, confused.
“You used my face wash.. I just went to get it back. And i saw the polaroid on your cabinet.”
“Of….” You tried to act dumb but you knew exactly what she was talking about.
“You and.. Lena” She looked at you with an expression to tell you that you can let her know anything.
“Hmm” You hummed, blushing slightly.
“There was one of you kissing. Are you guys.. you know”
“Yes, well done detective Gio. Lena and I are dating.” You huff, admitting defeat.
“How long?”
“A year”
-
L x
I miss you ❤️
You
Miss you too pretty girl. Hope your flying over for my game at the weekend. I know your schedule is free 😉
L x
I’ll see what I can do x
-
You walked through the tunnel and out onto the pitch, standing beside Caitlin and Rafa as the UWCL anthem played throughout Emirates Stadium.
Wolfsburg had been knocked out of the competition at the quarter final stages by Lyon which meant Lena was able to fly over for your semi final game against Barcelona.
You didn’t know where about she was sat but you knew she was in the stadium. A member of the coaching staff managed to get you a couple tickets for the boxes for Lena and her friends.
When the whistle blew you played you absolute heart out. A sold out stadium against the best in the world and you dreams in the champions league all fell on this game.
You managed to score yourself a goal at the 27th minute but the enjoyment had been zapped right out of you when Aitana got an equaliser at the 34th.
Jonas’ half time team talk was simple. Keep possession and attack on the left, their weakest side.
You got out again, the ref blew the whistle and the second half began.
Foul after foul and finally the ref was on your side, giving Arsenal a free kick.
Frida took it and you got your head on the end, getting it past Paños.
You started celebrating, jumping onto your teammates, making it 2-1 at the 90th minute.
The ref blew the whistle and you looked up, confused. Then you felt your heart drop. 3 letters on the screen. VAR
“What!” You looked around, Lia’s hand falling onto your shoulder.
Lena was up in the crowd, her phone in hand and taking a video of the scene in front of her. When the ref confirmed the goal, you ran round the pitch. She smiled to herself, your jersey under her jumper.
“Well done, my girl.” She whispered under her breath.
-
The full time whistle blew and you had beaten the spanish side. You did a lap of the pitch and signed a few things for some fans.
A young boy asked for your shirt but you had to tell him you’d promised it to someone else. That someone in the crowd too.
You made your way up to the box Lena was in with Jule, Jill and Lynn.
“MVP MVP MVP” They started chanted.
You blushed and told them to shut up, embarassed as everyone looked at you.
You slipped your arms around Lena’s waist and buried you head into her neck. She whispered in your ear. “You are amazing, talented, a special girl.”
“Are you flirting with me, Miss Oberdorf.” You giggled softly.
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transmutationisms · 1 year ago
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i think you do a really impressive job balancing comprehensive/concise while referencing a lot of complex frameworks(contexts? schools of thought? lol idk what to call that. big brain ideas) but if you have any readings specifically on the institution of psychiatry topic that you would recommend/think are relevant, I'd be interested. it's absolutely not a conversation that's being had enough and I want to be able to articulate myself around it
yes i have readings >:)
first of all, the anti-psychiatry bibliography and resource guide is a great place to start getting oriented in this literature. it's split by sub-topic, and there are paragraphs interspersed throughout that give summaries of major thinkers' positions and short intros to key texts.
it's from 1979, though, so here are some recs from the last 4 decades:
overview critiques
mind fixers: psychiatry's troubled search for the biology of mental illness, by anne harrington
psychiatric hegemony: a marxist theory of mental illness, by bruce m z cohen
desperate remedies: psychiatry's turbulent quest to cure mental illness, by andrew scull
psychiatry and its discontents, by andrew scull
madness is civilization: when the diagnosis was social, 1948–1980, by michael e staub
contesting psychiatry: social movements in mental health, by nick crossley
the dsm & pharmacy
dsm: a history of psychiatry's bible, by allan v horwitz
the dsm-5 in perspective: philosophical reflections on the psychiatric babel, by steeves demazeux & patrick singy
pharmageddon, by david healy
pillaged: psychiatric medications and suicide risk, by ronald w maris
the making of dsm-iii: a diagnostic manual's conquest of american psychiatry, by hannah s decker
the myth of the chemical cure: a critique of psychiatric drug treatment, by joanna moncrieff
the book of woe: the dsm and the unmaking of psychiatry, by gary greenberg
prozac on the couch: prescribing gender in the era of wonder drugs, by jonathan metzl
the creation of psychopharmacology, by david healy
the bitterest pills: the troubling story of antipsychotic drugs, by joanna moncrieff
psychiatry & race
the protest psychosis: how schizophrenia became a black disease, by jonathan metzl
administrations of lunacy: racism and the haunting of american psychiatry at the milledgeville asylum, by mab segrest
the peculiar institution and the making of modern psychiatry, 1840–1880, by wendy gonaver
what's wrong with the poor? psychiatry, race, and the war on poverty, by mical raz
national and cross-national contexts
mad by the millions: mental disorders and the early years of the world health organization, by harry yi-jui wu
psychiatry and empire, by sloan mahone & megan vaughan
ʿaṣfūriyyeh: a history of madness, modernity, and war in the middle east, by joelle m abi-rached
surfacing up: psychiatry and social order in colonial zimbabwe, 1908–1968, by lynette jackson
the british anti-psychiatrists: from institutional psychiatry to the counter-culture, 1960–1971, by oisín wall
crime, madness, and politics in modern france: the medical concept of national decline, by robert a nye
reasoning against madness: psychiatry and the state in rio de janeiro, 1830–1944, by manuella meyer
colonial madness: psychiatry in french north africa, by richard keller
madhouse: psychiatry and politics in cuban history, by jennifer lynn lambe
depression in japan: psychiatric cures for a society in distress, by junko kitanaka
inheriting madness: professionalization and psychiatric knowledge in 19th century france, by ian r dowbiggin
mad in america: bad science, bad medicine, and the enduring mistreatment of the mentally ill, by robert whitaker
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deebrisbyfish · 1 month ago
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Heidi and I met Tauhid Bondia, creator of the AMAZING comic strip CRABGRASS, at the CXC convention in Ohio last year and have been friends online prior. In the lead-up to all this, after both getting nominations in different categories, we may have had a conversation or two expressing... anxiety. When this happened almost exactly as depicted here, I KNEW I was going to have to get his very generous permission to make a strip out of it. Also, Lynn Johnston is, in fact, AWESOME!
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