#this is extreme obsessive behavior
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I love you innblings you are so silly <3 Never ever change <3<3<3
#princess tutu#author#malen#is the death note reference clear or should i crawl under my bed forever right now immediately#jk jk#i think it's like#the funniest thing#the idea that malen is just overall a very normal chill person with absolutely no clue as to how fucking deep her brother's weirdness goes#like she had no idea how fucking bad it is actually#and the real drama between them starts when she realizes he's not just like. an antisocial jerk#but actually genuinely maladjusted. haunted and bedevilled by obsession. perhaps a lil morally compromised#like he has most of his priorities in order but the hyperfixation is a bit too real#i really like how malen turned out in that first drawing lookit her lookit the lines and the shapes i did so right by her hihi#anyway#yea#fanart#my art#also that Extremely Sibling Mood of like#stressing over eachothers behavior#*through gritted teeth* You In Particular Are Tearign This Family Aparrt#innblings
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Inverse of my previous Morgott x Tarnished musing post where it’s deliberating how instead the Tarnished may make the relationship toxic
Specifically when it comes to Morgott’s mortality
So I’m not sure if the Tarnished would still be guided/revived by Grace after becoming Elden Lord, but for the sake of discussion let’s say that they do/this is about a hypothetical relationship started before they become Elden Lord
Anyways what if the Tarnished was really paranoid about Morgott’s perceived fragility
They know he can die, hell, they’ve nearly killed him/have killed projections of him
Morgott can die and leave them alone, leave them to go somewhere they can’t follow, even if they wanted to
What if someone wanted to hurt him? To kill him? Be it another Tarnished or any other manner of enemy, of which Morgott has plenty. Especially considering he is an Omen, upon which few look kindly. Yes, they know Morgott has been able to handle himself for thousands of years, but it only takes one time
One mistake and he’s gone forever
The thought is terrifying
#*looks at any relationship*#Anyone gonna find a way to make this fucked up?#*does it without waiting for an answer*#Might expand a bit more upon this thought later#Tbh this one is up for the most variance in interpretations and possibilities since everyone’s Tarnished is unique#Very few would probably fall into this pattern of thought but it’s fun to think about the ones that would#Thinking about the extreme and reactive behaviors the Tarnished may exhibit as a result of this line of thinking#Getting paranoid and obsessive over Morgott’s safety#Possibly choosing to isolate themselves from other Tarnished because how can they trust them?#Morgott is a demigod#killing a demigod is considered a victory#A symbol of status#Anyways#elden ring#morgott the omen king#morgott x tarnished
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If you’re writing a story where the main antagonist is obsessed with the protagonist in one way or another, I recommended flipping the POV on its head if you’re struggling with character motivations. The story quickly goes from “imagine being obsessed over” to “imagine being obsessed,” and you can take that a lot of new ways very quickly. Not only does it force you to see the humanity in your antagonist, it also forces you to make them more interesting and give them a personality beyond “obsessive freak who is evil and bad.” Flesh out their motivations based on why they’re obsessed; did the protagonist do something for them; do they have a complicated personal history regarding bonding with others; etc. Take into account if you’re trying to depict the character as mentally ill, too. Obsession is human, in one way or another, so treat your antagonists as such instead of making them mindless monsters.
#rambles#the reason I bring up mental illness is because I myself struggle with a disorder that causes me to experience obsessive behavior#I have seen the mental illness angle done extremely well but also extremely poorly#writing
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i also have to post scuttle bc they are a sona and secretly despite the fact that it is terrible at interacting w the others he actually secretly (secretly) functions as a like. sona x canon character. with pomni
#technically thing could theoretically stand alone as an oc but i have the knowledge#that its JUST me so i cant keep that secret#but yeah. i semi made him so i could draw it with her#that said all of my art of both of them has consisted of pomni being unsettled by its behavior#(not in a weird way theyre just bad at socializing and shes a bit blunt abt that sorta thing)#like my existential obsessions get weird as hell and im living irl#if scuttle got stuck in a game their existential obsessions would get really extreme#sorry scuttle into the meat grinder with you
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Anyway here’s the actual 100% textual proof that Moghedien is gay

Girl crying over her hands being slightly wrinkly and her immediate instinct is to go yell about it to the girl torturing her for extra credit
#Moghedien you aren’t gonna use those hands how you want and also you’re a bottom#but still extremely lesbian behavior to obsess and cry over the state of your hands#wheel of time#wot book spoilers#moghedien#nynaeve al'meara
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this is yet another random academia nitpick i won’t let go of for weeks but someone in the comments of the victor ninov broccumentary claimed that science is a “incredible field that can’t be simplified to storytelling like this” because “it goes against human nature to do” and writing good sci comm goes against scientific integrity.
and the whole statement is incredibly stupid but in true anthropologist fashion i must say what on earth about science goes against human nature. the desire to test a phenomenon and revise your theories based on the results is literally one of the benchmarks for early modern humans. this is the behavior in corvid’s (tool use) that people loose their shit over. communicating findings to others?? collaborative work to reach an arbitrary goal that won’t necessarily have a direct benefit on your immediate life???? that’s how we domesticated staple crops dumbass. it’s science all the way down
#look i know i am Biased to qualitative research and can and have debated engineering folks over the need to understand that human expression#in an field cannot be summarized into qualitative data without ignoring important factors#(the categorizing tells us more about the *researcher’s* perspective than the subjects. sorry i’ve spent too long doing ethnography around#human factors / psych people. i’m so glad i escaped)#BUT. EVEN I WILL ACKNOWLEDGE TRADITIONAL EXPERIMENTAL SCIENCE HAS A WELL DEVELOPED AND DESERVED PLACE#AND ITS AN EXTREMELY HUMAN EXPRESSION#i have also debated the validity of human nature as a concept#<- anthropologist behavior. but regardless what the fuck is the point of this statements#‘science is hard because it’s unintuitive for the human brain’ clearly you know jackshit about the human brain or any of history#and that’s because you’re too obsessed with science and ignore the wonders of humanity.#you cannot take the science out of the humanity you cannot take the humanity out of the conduct of science#text✨
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i have 2 social media bio options:
1. song lyric (will change almost daily)
2. unnecessarily lengthy list of reasons you should DEFINITELY block me
#idk how to tag yet#when it’s just a self post that nobody cares about me#m4rveys#natcore#borderpolar#adhdtism#weirdo#strange individual#who happens to#exhibit extremely#‘interesting behavior’#sorry#i’ll never be less self obsessed…#get used to it#or don’t#wdrgaf#‘we’ being me and all my alter egos
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i personally believe that deku is more likely to have vices than katsuki
#idkidkidk it's just the gut feel#they're both extremely stubborn just in different ways#but i think deku's a lot more susceptible to trying new things especially when he's under pressure#and i think his obsessive behavior makes him cling onto things easily --- it's easy for him to form habits whether it's good or bad#i also think deku's disregard for himself translates like. it wouldn't bother him as much that smoking is bad for him#he wouldnt care if the sleeping pills are bad for him down the line --- as long as it gets the job done for him to perform properly NOW#maybe unless mama inko or all might begs him to stop sjdfhbks#i feel like katsuki doesn't really give in that easily and is a bit rigid in that regard that he sticks to doing things his own way#i also think katsuki... tho equally as insane... kind of has a future-sense to him? IDK. like. he looks very much towards the ripple effect#like he understands the concept that if he unnecessarily ruins his body for immediate relief it won't be good in the long haul#and it's an overall decrease in performance eventually.#IDKIDKIDK my mind is stewing... brewing... thinking...#FORGIVE ME IF THE TAKE IS WRONG HBFAHAHAHAAH#this concept is a bit darker than i'd write so idk if i ever will but these are just my Thoughts#i talked so much again
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Reclaiming "autism dad" from the dads who make their kids autism all about themselves and instead it's for the middle aged men who are absolutely on the spectrum but were never diagnosed formally. The dad's who thinks pop-its are dumb trendy kid stuff but is constantly rolling his AA 10 year chip through his fingers (he used to drink a lot because it made him social and made people like him more). The dad who knows everything about Abe Lincoln, more than the average civil war historian, but doesn't have a degree because he dropped out of high school to go get a manual labor job. The dad who always orders a plain hamburger with no toppings when he goes out, and claims it's so he can appreciate the quality of the beef, as if Applebee's has anything to serve him other than consistent sensory experiences. The dad who only has 1 joke and has no awareness for the fact that everyone can tell when a "(blank)er? I hardly know 'er!" joke is coming a mile a way. Reclaiming dad culture for the autists
#badger rants#this post got away from me but some quintessential dad behaviors are so#my dad's entire vocabulary is Psych (tv) quotes and he has an extremely limited olain diet and wears the same clothes every day#my parents never got me evaluated for autism/adhd bc as far as theyre concerned their asocial child who was pathologically obsessed#with [redacted] was just Normal to them
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Hello. So I have a question. Seto is obviously overprotective of eve. Would he ever go to certain lenghts to protect her if he deems it nessacry even if eve doesn't like it?
Absolutely, and he does often, mostly without Eve knowing.
Long lore dump under the post, trigger warning for obsessive and overprotective behavior.
Kaiba is protective of Eve the same way a dragon is protective of its jewels, keeping a constant surveillance on her and getting downright terrifying if anything happens to her.
If the two of them are out together, Kaiba constantly has his eye on Eve, staying very close to her if she's not either on his shoulder or in his palm. If anyone else is holding her or talking to her, Kaiba is always a few feet away, ready to intervene if things go astray.
If Kaiba isn't with her, she always has some sort of protection around her. At home she has his servants and maids keeping a constant eye on her and helping her around the place in his stead, and if she's in public she has 2-3 bodyguards with her at all times, along with secretly hiring his private security force to follow her and take down any potential threats. If any one of his hires makes a single mistake around her, leading to even the smallest of scrapes, they're swiftly and immediately replaced with a new hire, despite Eve's very vocal protests.
Along with already having a mound of security constantly around her, Kaiba tends to tap into the cameras that litter Domino city when he's not with her, just to make sure she's safe (And possibly to just be able to see his tiny thing when he's not around.)
And to add the final layer of icing to the cake, the black choker that Eve wears every single day, the piece of jewelry that she loves and cherishes so much because her special somebody made it just for her, has a tracker in it that she doesn't know about. No one, not even Mokuba, knows this tracker exists but him. Kaiba almost never has to use it because of all of his other security measures he set up, but it's always there as a just in case measure.
Kaiba also tends to get very vindictive of anyone that dares hurt Eve, even emotionally. For example, when Eve shrunk and most of her friends ended up leaving her because of her new height and connection to Kaiba, giving Eve the extreme abandonment issues she still deals with, Kaiba may or may not have "convinced" every major college in Japan to reject their applications and scholarships to their schools, essentially destroying their academic careers. Or when one of his best guards accidentally squeezed Eve a little too tightly when trying to hold her, the guard was not only fired in the spot but barred from working in any Kaibacorp owned business again. And considering Kaiba owns most of the businesses in Domino...
Yes, obviously this gets exhausting for Eve. Sometimes she feels trapped and overwhelmed by how much Kaiba puts into keeping her safe, and tends to get really upset when another guard or servant that worked with her got fired over something she herself thinks is a minor mistake, or had forgiven. Eve has a tendency to get really attached to the people that work as her security, because she has such a hard time connecting to people because of her size and status as the Eighth Wonder, so she always gets really upset when Kaiba absentmindedly replaces them with someone new over a simple mistake .
Eve recognizes Kaiba's obsession with keeping her safe as unhealthy, and tries to calm down his concerns with her training on self defense and carrying around her own sort of protection. Though she also understands that this amount of protection comes from a place of genuine concern, both because of her connection to the Kaiba brothers and because of her height, she still longs for the days where she could simply walk outside and smell the fresh air without having a guard stand 4 feet behind her.
#ssv#ssv talks#seto kaiba#yugioh au#giant/tiny#yugiohoc#canon x oc#Yes this is not a healthy way to protect a loved one#but Kaiba has a very bad tendency to be extreme in his actions and give harsh reprocussions to minor incidents#think DSoD level of security and Battle City level of vengeance#Honestly i think Kaiba would be this overprotective even if Eve was normal sized. or with anyone else#She gets all these different layers of security except when she's with Kaiba or Mokuba#Bondshipping#tw obsessive behavior#BTW this is strictly based on the manga and the manga version of Kaiba#if this were the anime/toei version of Kaiba Eve would have nowhere NEAR this much security#just like Mokuba. Dude got done so dirty by the anime i swear
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#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just#feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives#function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty#god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student#so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self#destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure#rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done#but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry#and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen#ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i#didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there#i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a#wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo.#idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues?#i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell#unrelated
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I GOT COLDPLAY TICKETS
#which is wild considering that i was driving on the highway at the time#i kept having to pull over on the rumble strip to check my spot in the queue#got kicked out of the waiting room once. app signed me out?? didn't have data for a while in the middle of nowhere.#ended up stabbing randomly at my phone and buying Nice Luxury seats for an absurdly reasonable amount of money#i am VIBRATING#this is also the funniest possible time for me to see coldplay though#i hardly listen to them anymore. i finally retired the tattered viva la vida poster that had been on my wall for a decade#my music taste has moved on to pastures new and considerably more emo#i haven't listened to moon music yet because...uh..tbh i've heard it's not very good and after music of the spheres i didn't expect it to b#BUT this is something i've wanted since i was 15 and in a fit of conscientious pique *didn't even ask my parents*#if i could go see them on the mx tour. didn't even ask!!! as an adult that's wild to me.#they didn't even forbid me!! they almost certainly wouldn't have!! but we had extremely minor plans for that night already and i was like#'i cannot disappoint them'#so instead i sat there and sulked through the minor event!#baffling behavior on my part#but anyway! i have since been thwarted in seeing coldplay for TWELVE YEARS because they just haven't come anywhere near where i'm living#BUT NOW I'M GOING#this is like if most people my age had never gotten to see one direction or something as a teen#that's the level of obsession we're talking about and#also the level of 'mostly this is a gift to a past version of myself but also i will still cry'#personal
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it ended with maoist guy apologizing to working class larper, wishing him a nice day like in eight different comments, asking him if he did ok during the strike and larper telling him to leave him alone which maoist guy did before launching himself into the same debate with three other people. he's still going and it's been a week

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ou... how do i make friends with peple ....
globs ☆
#is it because im more tired? not as full of energy? too honest#too insecure? too scared? too uninterested? its never been an actual problem before..#maybe i just havent stayed in the same place for this long before#and its harder to reinvent myself or change anything#unpure intentions? aversions and assumptions?#i wasnt born a good person and my morals and empathy never really developed the way it has for most but maybe i was trying harder before#maybe now that i have someone i care about it feels like nothing else matters#so what if i dont upkeep my thoughts and attitudes.? its hard work anyway#maybe thats it. maybe i just have to keep trying my best to be a Good Guy forever no matter how tiring or pointless. but then im too scared#be vulnerable given how sensitive ive become. its easy to be sensitive when theres nothing holding u up..#maybe its because im always bored#or i can never remember anything and every interaction resets unless i intentionally hold onto it and manually adjust my behavior#it doesnt feel like ive known people for so long. it feels like weve just met and its still awkward and im scared to act out of line. there#that stupid feminine box again. maybe my haircut just wasnt short enough. maybe it needs to be so short i go ugly for a while so i can forg#t myself. but in yhe end i really dont think i was doing all that well in the first place. maybe the only difference is im more self aware#now after that blur. not like i used to be but enough to obsess over myself. seriously.. the worst place i can be on the scale with benefit#from neither side. i can never make up my mind on which side i should lean towards#been stuck with this dilemma for like 6 years#fuck me its been 6~7 years. shouldnt i have my act together by now? but its hard to grow when you cant remember any experiences youve had#people love being like overthinking wont fix the issue but im NOT overthinking (except when i am) im pinpointing the issue assessing my val#es and adjusting myself accordingly. and yeah thats tiring and inauthentic but it helps others. can i really afford that? doesnt that go ag#inst my sworn devotion or whatever gay shit? arent i supposed to be the protective one..?? i thought i could afford it before. or rather wa#pushed into it by therapists and all that talk. that i deserved to be normal and lose consciousness and it did nooott work out. because its#one extreme or yhe other with me. so its one side for others and one for myself. and im SUPPOSED to value them more. but whatever#dont even know if i can change that at this stage anyway.#i do love people#the disgust and boredom are instinctual but i shouldnt give into it. readonably ive always loved people as simple or complex as they come#whatever ill figure this out anyways or this doesnt even really matter or thisll seem stupid and silly and a little delusional in 20 minute#its so joever#*oeter griffin dancing beautifully* its joever isnt itt isnt itt isnt it joeverrr iiiiits joever isnt it isnt it isnttt it joeverr
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So far on Wellbutrin I don't get constant lingering anxiety so much as I randomly get hit in the head with softballs of intense anxiety. Not even anxiety attacks because I've had those and know what those feel like (and mine last for a looooong time), just like no thoughts head empty to a sudden powerpoint recap of everything I'm worried about this month with a feeling of intense dread about 15 times a day for 1 minute
#Also job stuff is stressing me out because temporary#How long is up in the air but they might not need as many people soon bc some things finished up [screams cries throws up]#If it wasn't tax season I would have way more savings :[#not art#vena vents#At least it doesn't make me feel like I'm going insane like Zoloft did#I just get mad easier and lost ingrained politeness social filters in situations where the person doesn't earn it lmaooo#I would benefit from stimulants and other meds probs bc a lot of my anxiety is a result of ADHD shit and obsessive compulsive behaviors#SSRIs and NDRIs don't do much for me#But unfortunately the mental health system is overloaded here and on Medicaid I doubt i'd find a place with openings#so uh. no official diagnoses for me just the extremely obvious knowledge of what I have by everyone who knows me#and years of research lmao
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Having watched Possession last night and coming away with the conclusion that it's a movie of an Autistic Nightmare is not what I expected to come away with but I can't stop thinking abt it
#the fear of losing control of your body in a moment extreme emotion#the obsession with finding out exactly why something has happened when the most likely answer is inscrutable and can never be put succintly#the use of eye contact in the film as moments of terror or dread for the audience#the constant self soothing behavior of mark as he tries desperately to appear calm and rational#the sight of another you. what if you were different from what you are. would everyone like that version of you better#and other such thoughts that i cant articulate into text#starringvincentprice;speaking
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