#this is horrid and terrible and augh augh

[custards-neopronouns]

Maybe... jellyfish themed pronouns? please, I'd owe you my life.

Sure :] Hope you enjoy!!

🌊Jellyfish Themed Pronouns (Big List!)

jelly/jellyfish/jellys/jellyfishself

sting/sting/stings/stingself

tox/toxin/toxins/toxinself

sae/medusae/medusaes/medusaeself (in reference to a scientific term for jellyfish)

polyp/polyp/polyps/polypself

bud/bud/buds/budself

bell/bell/bells/bellself

net/nettle/nettles/nettleself

drift/drift/drifts/driftself

nem/nemato/nems/nematoself (in reference to nematocysts, which are the "stinging" parts of a jellyfish's tentacles)

float/float/floats/floatself

lo/glow/glows/glowself

lo/bloom/blooms/bloomself

ty/tide/tides/tideself

- cnidos/cnidaria/cnidarias/cnidarianself

- cin/cnidos/cins/cnidoself (referring to "cnidos", or stinging nettle, and "cnidaria", a phylum/animal kingdom category that the jellyfish falls under)

[keeps-ache]

i just refreshed my page what in the cluttered twitter ui is this shizz

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

I saw a spooky 10 OTP prompts list on here a while back, and it had a bunch of quotes on it and I cannot stop thinking about one that says something like "I'm not gonna let it get anyone, but I definetly won't let it get you." and it made me think of your fic about Spock getting beaten up by someone who looks like McCoy. I love that fic so much <3

Listen. Listen. I LOVE that fic. Its horrid its terrible the plot is augh at best and spock is so wooby and ooc and YET i love that fic. So much. Im so glad you and others like it yall are so sweet. Ive considered going back and editing it tbh!

[fleetingfigures]

Day 2: Sway

1, 2, 3

4, 5, 6

1, 2, 3

4, 5, 6

Ishgardian Waltzes were as effortless as that… Or at least that’s what all his instructors told him. 

“Feel the rhythm, count the beats, and move.”

Yet, for something so simple, why could he never seem to wrap his head around it? Was he born with two left feet, or was there just something that didn’t click within his mind?

“You weren’t kidding, Sae. When you said you were hopeless, I only took that as a joke, but you’re uhh...”

Heaving a sigh, Saerno withdraws his hand from Siegfried’s. It had been 2 bells, 2 whole bells and yet they made little to no progress in improving. If anything, the Keeper was growing more irate by the minute.To think that the first real threat to his studies here within the Scholasticate would be centered around dance. Whoever designed this Twevlesdamned curriculum deserved to be thrown off Witchdrop. “I’m what, Sieg? Terrible, horrid? Oh, or maybe as Deacon Elpoux put it, an ‘affront to the very art and history of waltz’?”

Now it was the Hyur’s turn to sigh, lowering himself to the tiled ground and motioning for Saerno to do the same. “No, no… Well, maybe a bit of that terrible part, but let’s not worry ‘bout that! We gotta think this out ‘pragmatically’ like you always say I should do when somethin’s confusing me.”

“I suppose that a bit of my own advice would serve me well in this case.”

“And that it will! But first, I want to hear things from your perspective. What is it about waltz that you don’t understand? I hear you counting out the steps, and you’re a talented pianist on top of it all, yet it’s like your body just won’t cooperate with your own sense of rhythm.”

“It’s…” The Keeper hesitates, his lip instinctually sucking in. It was a simple question, one he’s posed to himself time and time again, yet the more he asked, the more frustrated he’d become. If anything he should be just fine, but it’s… “Augh, it’s just that this whole ‘Waltz’ thing seems so asinine. It’s so rigid in its rules that I barely feel like I’m dancing at all, and I hate it! Isn’t art supposed to be freeing, Sieg, and not restrictive?”

“Who’s to say that something with a bit of rules that you don’t agree with isn’t freeing, hm?”

“Well-”

“And aren’t you the same person who left abruptly in the middle of aetherology studies because they were ‘shoving the Fury into every damn subject she doesn’t belong in’?”

“...”

“Look, Sae.” Siegfried starts. “I know you’ve got quite the rebellious streak in ya, and so do I for that matter, but please, for both of our sakes, curb that shite every once in a while before you lose your sponsorship from House Jervaint. Just sucking it up and following someone else’s rules isn’t going to kill ya, and making some grand example of yourself isn’t going to change how things operate around here.”

“...But I wish it could, I wish that my words and actions would actually have some impact here. I know I’m not of any noble birth, and I’m damn sure I’m the first Miqo’te half of our peers have even seen within these halls, and while it puts me at a disadvantage, I have an opportunity to show that the Scholasticate is capable of some serious reform!”

“Augh… Here’s that talk about reform again. You invited me out here before our date so that you could avoid failing the next waltz examination, so let’s get back to that, yea? Just forget I ever asked about why you hate this damned dance so much.”

Saerno’s jaw clenched as he returned to his feet, and offered his hand to Sieg. “Fine, forget I said anything too.”

Thus did their waltz resume, even sloppier than before; their counts were off, their steps barely measured, and yet they still danced, each to their own rhythm, neither giving into the sway of their partner.

[wolftheidioticfan]

THROWS fanfic at Count Lucanor tag before running away in fear of being seen.

I wrote this at like 9-10 am after staying up all night long and I do not know how to write and this is rooted so deep in headcanon that I will die of sheer embarrassment from having interests and writing. Also kinda rushed because I started getting way too self conscious midway through oop. B nice to me ok bye Ahhhh-

Nights without much going on in terms of the trial were nice enough, he supposed. Quiet, calm, and no unnecessary death at the hands of some blasted old man’s curse. Usually, peaceful nights like this were spent in his room, conversing with his closest friend and most trusted castle official, but tonight had been...a little off for the kobold. He was much more lost in his own head, leaned back against the bed as he stared blankly at the ceiling above.

He could hear The Camerlengo speaking, rambling about whatever was on the very strange man’s mind that day, but for the love of it all Patronio could not make out a single word of it, too focused on his own mind. Tonight’s worry was just how much the world had changed since this awful, awful curse had befallen the castle. The jester sighed softly to himself. This was never how he had imagined things would end up, cast aside by the rest of the world and put in-charge of some horrid ‘tests’ that did little more than dismember anyone who would dare take part in them.

It just wasn’t fair. He was in a time period far, far from his own, and completely unable to even take part in a single activity, nor know a single soul outside of the castle. Just how much had passed by? Advanced? While he was here to rot away, forgotten.

The sudden quiet of the room caught his attention, causing Patronio to let out a confused hum in response.

“You are not listening!” The Camerlengo’s loud, boisterous voice sounded out in the small room, “You know one person cannot have a reasonable conversation with themselves!”

The kobold chuckled, keeping his eyes steady at the dusty ceiling, “Sorry...I’m sorry, really. I’m listening now.”

“You are not!” The tall monster of a man snapped back, pointing a finger into the jester’s side, “The Camerlengo would like to know why you are ignoring him!”

Patronio squealed from the clawed jab to his ribs, squirming away, “I’m just- a little lost in thought is all. I’m sorry my dear friend, truly, it was not my intention.”

“Oh!”

And then it was quiet again. Uncomfortably so for the jester, causing him to sit up and see just what exactly his friend was doing. He blinked once or twice when he noticed the other’s eyes directly on him.

“Well! What is it you are thinking about?” The Camerlengo grinned, “That could be a good conversation piece!”

Patronio sighed heavily, pressing his fingers down into the soft paw-like pad in the middle of his palm, waving his other hand dismissively, “No, no, it’s really nothing interesting. What were you trying to tell me again, something about the garden?”

His friend’s eyes narrowed slightly, placing his hands on his hips in a disappointed manner as he spoke, “Well! He thinks you keep far too much to yourself lately! Very unlike you, Jester.”

Rolling his eyes – though with a lack of pupils, the action was mostly pointless- the kobold sighed heavily. He knew how this would go, this was a common pattern the two had gone through many times before. If The Camerlengo was set on something, it was rare for him to ever give up on the subject. Something he could admire in the tall man’s work, but something he’d utterly loathe when it came to things he’d much rather keep to himself.

“I don’t have a choice here, do I?” Patronio half hissed, flopping onto his back once more, resting his hand on his cheek with a puff.

“Not if you are going to be so gloomy and distant, no!”

He groaned in response.

“Besides, it is not a good idea to hide things! You know this. What else would friends be for?”

He hated when the other was right like that.

“...Fine,” the jester huffed, “You win.”

Quiet for a moment. Then two.

“Well?” The Camerlengo prodded, “Are you to talk or not, Jester?”

Nope, no getting out of this. Patronio loathed the serious conversations about emotions and fear...They were never any fun at all and only reminded him of the harshness of the situation the castle had been tossed in. With another annoyed groan, he began with the first thing on his mind.

“...A lot of time has passed, you know,” He blinked at the ceiling. When had he last dusted up there?, “The towns and world we once knew is now….very different. Yet, we are still stuck in the same days as before this wretched curse.”

He expected a quip or two, or something stupid and unrelated to be uttered from his friend, but for once found disappointment when no words were spoken. Great, he was simply listening. Why did he have to be quiet now, of all times? Discussions like this were not the kobold’s favorite! He knew this, right?

Of course he did, Patronio realized. That was exactly why he was silent, knowing the small blue creature would leap at any small opportunity to push this awkward conversation aside and change the subject. Blasted.

He gripped his cloak tight, thumb running across the slightly worn fabric as he continued, “I’m unsure how much has changed, what with being bound to this castle and forest. It is frightening to know that I-...That all of us have been forgotten to time. We have nothing to bind us to this timeline, no one to...remember who we were.”

Balling his fist, he fought back the crack he felt coming in his voice, “Is it not cruel, to be cursed to forever roam in a world that does not need you? Only to exist as a pawn for a game that no one, not even the one ‘in control’ can win? Isn’t it cruel to have caught all the innocents in it as well, forcing them to look to a lonely, foolish court jester for their guidance?”

“Jester-”

“And isn’t it just awful? Awful to know that after being forced into this terrible leadership, that everyone who has died blames you? And that-...if you really think about it, it is all true after all? But what are you supposed to do then, let down everyone else whom wishes not to be apart of this curse? Doom them to an enteral prison because you don’t want to be blamed? Selfish! Selfish to become so cowardly! Perhaps you are deserving of your shame then!” His voice had raised without realizing it, hissing and spitting his self-anger freely, “Yes! Cower away dear fool, cower away and let others die as you lie to their faces about these trials!”

Was he crying? Patronio felt like he was crying. It hurt.

“Jester! Jester...” He simply whined when The Camerlengo’s thumb brushed his face, wiping off the cascade of tears he was now very, very aware of, “What has gotten into you?”

“...I...I never asked for this,” the kobold murmured, shoving the other’s hand off himself, “I never wanted this! I am merely a jester-….How could one ask me to just let others die? I only wanted-...I wanted to bring joy.”

“...He knows, Jester,” It was always strange when the tall man was quiet, soft spoken even, “The Camerlengo knows you are not to blame for this curse.”

“Yes, I know you understand that,” He grumbled, shoving the hand away once more, “Knowing so many people’s blood is on your hands however-...”

“But it is not! You know that. You did not….cause this.”

“But I continue to go along with it.”

“For the sake of the castle, yes? The Jester is no coward, he is only doing what has been forced on him!”

“...Hm,” Patronio sighed in half acknowledgment, “Yes, this is…for everyone...”

“Then why blame yourself so harshly? He...does not see the reason to.”

“I know, I know my friend,” He hummed, “Not much ever makes sense, does it?”

“No, not often.”

“...I’m aware this is no fault of my own. I suppose it’s just morphed into guilt due to well...I am the “face” of this entire operation now, since The Count’s death.”

“Ah...He sees, then.”

Quietness took over again, mixed with the heavy breathing of the previously sobbing kobold. Why had it gotten quiet again? He didn’t like it. Would he just speak already? This-

“Augh!” Patronio hissed, feeling himself quickly lifted from his very comfortable spot, “Let me go!”

The small male thrashed wildly from being so suddenly grabbed, slowly turning into small squirms as he was firmly pressed against his friend’s chest in a hug. A half growl escaped him, dying off in his throat as a hand gently rubbed the back of his head.

“...Do you still want to be let go, Jester?”

He puffed a bit, gripping The Camerlengo’s coat in his hands tightly, “...No. But do warn me before you do that! I don’t appreciate being grabbed like that.”

“Well! You looked like you needed a hug, so The Camerlengo decided to help with that!” The tall man smugly smiled.

Settling further in his friend’s arms, the kobold just let out a soft ‘eugh’ in response, squinting when he was met with a loud laugh. Whatever, this was fine.

“You worry of being forgotten?”

“...We already have been, my friend. There is not a soul left to remember any of us here.”

“Hm, well that certainly can’t be right!”

Patronio arched his eyebrow in confusion, “What do you mean by that? Years- Centuries have passed.”

“We are still here, are we not?”

“...Yes?”

“Simple! We remember eachother, yes? He remembers you, you remember The Camerlengo! We are not forgotten then.”

“Hah...” The kobold snickered once, slowly elevating into a full laugh, “Yes, yes...Of course we remember each other, you strange man! We’re friends, after all.”

“Well then! Someone remembers you, then! And therefore, someone does not blame you either!”

His giggling continued, rubbing his face further against his friend’s coat, realizing perhaps he truly did need this conversation after all. The other’s laughter joining in only heightened the strange joy the silly words had brought the kobold.

“See, you see? The Jester is very good at bringing joy!”

He snorted, squeezing just a little harder, “Stop, you’re going to make me cry again...You goof...”

[movedthechangingman]

j’onn j’onzz and john constantine?

under a cut bc this is REALLY long!!! my two favourite johns

favorite thing about them

the thighs i like thats hes kind of the ‘serious jl member’ but hes always 80% nude for jack and shit reason. starfire has that dumb whole “needs sun exposure” excuse j’onn just wants to walk around in bootyshorts and a harness

least favorite thing about them

he hates ted which like OK i know everyone hates ted but like… ted

favorite line

“i have a confession to make, diane. the martian manhunter is not a hero… not yet.”

brOTP

i actually think him and bruce would be good friends if comics cared abt depicting friendships… i havent read them interacting really since the early 2000s so idk where they stand 

OTP

red tornado!! i call it redmartian or tornadomartian. theres no basis i just think they deserve to fall in love and get married 

nOTP

ive never seen anybody else care enough abt him to ship him with anyone

random headcanon

this is silly but i do think he like, doesnt wear pants. like ever. the longest he’ll go is mid thigh. hes never worn anything that goes past that unless hes at his earth job

unpopular opinion

ive never even seen anybody else form an opinion on j’onn so heres my noncontroversial feeling: he should be considered an essential JL member i dont care about main justice league lineups without him in them

song i associate with them

i dont have one… sorry j’onn

favorite picture of them

to shock everyone its not a photo with his thighs in it

john constantine 

(im doing his rebirth/52 version not vertigo)

favorite thing about them

1. the everything

im extremely attracted to him and also he makes me feel better about myself as a person. additionally , i like him. hes horrid and terrible and i genuinely adore him… i almost went into a huge rant abt how while i think the 52 “i cant lie” thing was dc woobifying him if i do take it into account i think its just… sad and inchresting. maybe a bit relatable 

least favorite thing about them

2. the everything

this isnt his fault but every line hes ever spoken about zatanna is annoying. i know its the writing. i know i already didnt like them. but oh my GOD dude get over it

favorite line

brOTP

legally i have to answer chas bc thats just canon but other than that, john and shade got along fine in that first crossover and i think they should be terrible people together

OTP

truthfully its bruce/john/boston they should ALL date

nOTP

johnzee :I scarily codependent and unhealthy for both of them

random headcanon

he had asa and boston there once but now they wont leave the house of mystery and now he has 2 roommates he cant get rid of. shade uses the madness to come and go from the house to bother him or just do you know, shade things. i dont think he actually has the house of mystery anymore but it turns out i dont care at all

unpopular opinion

controversial: i see people (esp adult men) act like hes not like. a horrible person and he doesnt deserve all this etc etc etc like.. hes a piece of shit who doesnt think about the consequences of his actions and when bad things happen as a result he just

noncontroversial: its good that hes not actually a team member of the jld in rebirth. he fits better as a jerk who just wont leave them alone

song i associate with them

like a friend by pulp… mostly in reference to him & chas (esp in the tv show,)

i like to purposefully misinterpret the lyrics of ocean breathes salty, also but it gets more into shade+john+kathy than john himself

favorite picture of them

this cover by riley rossmo PLEASE dont @ me i just think its such a graceful pic…. all primary colours in different saturated tones… AUGH

[aikainkauna]

Fanfic trope meme

Apologies to those of you who see this for a third time, as I’ve crossposted it to both LJ and Pillowfort. Feel free to comment over on there (or my other posts) if you like. And of course, feel free to grab this one and do it yourself, if you like.

***

Grabbed this meme from a couple of people on LJ. It's... well, apparently about fanfic tropes. Some of them more terrifying than others.

I have written:

-Hurt/comfort (Yeah, baby! Most of my fic is this.)

-Body swapping (Sort of? Souls slipping into each other's bodies for a bit? Jaffar feeling what Yassamin feels? Sex swap, I've definitely done.)

-Soulmate identifying marks (tattoo, red thread of fate, etc) (I have! The Throne of Solomon. And maybe The Past Forgotten counts, in its way. I may have written more, but I forget.)

-Snowed-in cabin/isolated together for extended period of time (The Jaffar/Pwinzezz Cavefic!)

-Found families (I guess the Samarkand gang counts for poor old Fadl? Even if Jaffar *is* his brother, so technically it is his family. But he does have his religious congregation and Zainab, and is... well, he always does seem to be seeking something, so he's the kind of guy to go for this trope.)

-Fairy tale/mythology AU (And not just when I am  writing in *actual* fairytale/mythology fandoms. Which I am doing most of the time, what with Thief of Bagdad being a 1001 Nights fanfic anyway. So I'm writing fanfic about a fanfic of some age-old RPF (fantasy AU!) about historical figures from the late 700s/early 800s...)

-Enemies  to friends to lovers (Yes, please! Aplenty. I'm surprised that  enemyslash/FoeYay/Hero(ine)/Villain(ess), whatever you want to call it,  isn't mentioned on this list.)

-Characters swap roles AU (Uh... I've written sexual switching in some isolated chapters? Like when Laura  briefly doms Torsten in The Fall of Angels, to help him get over some traumas?)

-Friends to lovers (With RPS, Veidtbone in particular, and Theta/Koschei. This also seems to happen whenever I write femslash.)

-Magical  connection (telepathy, etc) (Doctor/Master basically ruined me for all  my other ships what with their telepathic ability. So that now, it feels less interesting for me to write love/sex that *doesn't* have telepathy.)

-Fake dating/fake marriage accidentally turns into feelings (see next trope)

-Royals/political marriage turns into feelings (These last two are pretty much the same thing in ToB, as I've had Yassamin marry Jaffar a couple of times--like The Past Forgotten and The King's White Falcon, but without him laying a hand on her for up to a year, until she finally grows a brain and realises how loveworthy he is after all.)

-Seemingly unrequited pining (Emphasis on the "seemingly." Jaffar's unrequited   pining is painful enough in the movie, so there's no point in making him  suffer any more.)

-Accidentally fell in love with the mission target (Well, *kind of,* what with Torsten. Lars-Erik was definitely his mission target in the original film, and at the start of Because The World Belongs to the Devil, he made no bones about having wanted to kill Laura Erika [the teenage girl version of Lars-Erik in this AU, to those of you just joining in] when she was born.)

-They break up (but then they get back together) (With Jaffar/Fadl.  Fadl's stormed off in a huff at least twice in the past. And Doctor/Master is always the same old on-off car crash, isn't it? Although this is not a favourite trope of mine, as the setup would usually necessitate them being an existing couple in the first place,  and I tend to not write canon or "plausibly lovers" ships because   they're already happily together. What do Two and Jamie, Holmes and   Watson etc. need me for? They're already as good as married. Let them have their happiness.)

-Supernatural creature/human romance (Sort of. I've written Time Lords/humans, humans/djinn at least. And surely wizards count as supernatural romance, anyway?)

-Reincarnation/'25  Lives' AU (What's with the 25 lives? Is this some big fandom thing again? One of the darkest, most fucked-up fics I ever wrote was the Master killing the Doctor during sex and fucking him as he regenerated around him. As you do. And there's reincarnation in one of my Jaffar/Pwinzezz fics,  but I won't spoil it for the new readers by telling you which one it is.)

-Selfcest (possibly due to time travel) (I am scratching my head trying to remember when I wrote this and in which fandom, but I have the distinct feeling I've written it. I've certainly whacked off to  that World Of Simm!Masters clusterfuck what with the pink dress so many  times I... I think I broke two clit buzzers during that time. I've certainly drawn it. And drawn some Connies on Connies. And then there's, of course, Sarosh the Sexbot  who's a clone of Jaffar, looks-wise, but he is very distinctly just a robot, not a living character as such--not the sort with which you could  have a real, interpersonal dynamic. My problem with selfcest, in general, is that I like having that character dynamic--and that requires  the characters to be different from one another. If it's two characters  that are too similar--if they fulfill a similar role in the canons--it's hard to create a dynamic between them and to make it   interesting.)

-Polyamory (Swinging away ALL the bloody time with the Roses!Jaffar and Yassamin, and Torsten/Laura. Sometimes I miss the monogamous 'verses.)

-Amnesia (I've got a post-movie "Jaffar comes  back from the dead" WIP I'll probs never finish, because it doesn't seem to get off the ground. If I wrote this trope, I would have the characters gradually regain memory, though; complete mind-wipes are   horrid. I did have Handy lose the majority of his cognitive/motor/Timey skills in No More  and that was the main reason I had to... well, I'm not going to spoil it if someone hasn't read it yet, but it wasn't the cheeriest of fics. The Past Forgotten *sort of* has this, but I don't want to spoil as to how that happens.)

***

I could write:

-Daemons (Why the archaic spelling? I have written djinn, so I almost put this in the 'have written' section. I can't remember if I actually *have* written real demons, because I might have. Surely, Torsten counts...)

-'Everyone is evil'/mirrorverse AU (Well, mostly, if I want to explore "evil"   characters, I write about those types of characters in the first place, without having to turn anyone evil. Devilry is the 'verse for that. Hell, usually it's the other way around; I try to look for the human elements of the baddies, or at least explore their logic--what makes them tick, what makes them the way they are. So, IDK, I could've also   put this in the "unlikely to ever write" section.)

-And they were roommates! (This would be terrible and also hilarious, whatever characters ended up becoming my victims. Even if I'm more interested in those hurt/comfort plots, overall. And I have always found it *impossible* to live under the same roof with other people because I need peace and quiet and solitude too much. So this is almost a bit too much like the sorts of negative RL experiences I don't really want to get more of in fic.  But I *could* write it as a comedy for cheap lols, especially if the stress were resolved by hot bonking, ASAP.)

-'They  all work in an office' AU (Otherwise, I would've put this in the "just  no" category, but... the Barmakids were civil servants. So I *could*   write Jaffar and Fadl drowning in paperwork--"WHY DID WE EVER introduce paper into THIS EMPIRE?!?" and cursing their fates and Jaffar restraining Fadl from braining Harun al-Rashid with a paperweight. Same with Lina doing Zainab's books and trying to hold back The Fist of Death when Fadl carelessly drops a piece of his lunch over her perfectly calligraphied accounting.)

-'Falling for a coworker/teammate is a bad idea' except this is fiction so it works out (Maybe. Just maybe. But it'd also be in a medieval ToB context.)

***  

I will probably never write:

-'Groundhog  Day'/karmic time loop (I just never got the appeal of this. Sounds like the sort of thing experimental writers would like? The sorts who really  like filling in bingo cards and challenge lists?)

-Vampires/werewolves  AU (I'm not that big on either. Super-unpopular opinion coming up: I prefer sex to the sublimation of it that vampires are often all about; bloodsucking in lieu of sex, and/or being seen as way better than sex just always feel to me like a cheap cop-out from writers who are disappointed in sex, or afraid of it. I've never grokked it any more   than that stupid, stupid "chocolate is better than sex" quip from women who don't know what masturbation is--yes, it fucking well is sex, TYVM! I much prefer to make partnered sex better than it is IRL by adding supernatural stuff like telepathy to *that*. Immortality alone is interesting to explore, as are Gothic themes, but all the usual themes that vampires *specifically* usually represent just... either hold little interest for me, or then, I can explore them in other ways.)

-'Pride  and Prejudice' AU (I don't hate Jane Austen, but it's not my fandom. That kind of society stuff and being witty over teacups in bonnets has never really been my thing--if anything, I usually have my characters exist in their own bubble, isolated from society and its restrictive mores and social stresses.)

***

JUST NO!

-Coffee  house AU/food service AU (AUGH! Please, no coffeeshop AUs for me; the world is full of them already. Maybe I could write it as some terrible, short parody? Or doodle it? But no more than that.)

-Hogwarts AU (Haven't read HP. Young Adult isn't really my genre. I know, I know; I've just lost all my WLW cred.)

-High  school/university AU (I've done Time Lord Academy-era stuff with Doctor/Master, but I expect this means a sort of American high school/university AU with jocks and cheerleaders and shit. Hell, no. Again, the exact sort of horrid society stuff I would rather have my characters escape from.)

-Adopting/raising a baby (Erm, not unless you count Jaffar/Yassamin adopting a cheetah? They do have kids in some 'verses but there's none of that everyday baby stuff that this question/trope probably implies. I'm squicked by   babies, sorry.)

-Unusually specific occupation AU, like, the Author clearly has the same job (It worries me that this is, by virtue of its inclusion here, apparently seen as normal and acceptable..? When it's crap fanfic, inserting yourself into something that should be about the *established* characters instead. Jesus, I don't want to go in expecting a fanfic, and then find out it’s your diary instead! Unless you're Anaïs Nin. And even if you really *do* want to write about yourself, then just... write original fic? An autobiography? A blog? Write an OC that has your job. Don't do this false advertising where you insist it's fanfic when it's not. That's a dick move towards your readers.)

-Loyalty kink (see next trope)

-Alpha/beta/omega (Too creepy. I can write about piss, shit, incest, necrophilia and cannibalism, but not these last two. Any more than I can glorify the Nazis I've written about; I either take the piss out of them, as with Strasser, or just step outside of their politics and bring them into the land of happy sexings like with von Kolb, with the aim of dragging him out of that madness and leaving it behind.)

-Hot single parent(s) (Please. Rundvik: "You love children." Torsten: "I loooooathe themm.")

-Unrequited pining (Too much of an emotional squick. Has to be requited. I write fanfic to fix things, to avenge wrongs, to set things right. I don't write them to make the characters more miserable than they already are. Unless it's for temporary, character-development purposes, that is.)

[taaroko]

Post-IW MCU Rewatch: Iron Man 2

Time for Iron Man 2.

Opening with the villain watching the press release from the end of the first movie on the news is an awesome way to link up with this one. I really wish we knew more about Howard Stark and Anton Vanko, though I do love that he showed up in Agent Carter. I mean, did Howard name Tony after him?

I love Ivan Vanko. He’s just as smart and resourceful as Tony, but he grew up with nothing while the man he might’ve been raised alongside had everything. (Imagine an alternate universe where Howard and Anton never fell out, and Tony and Ivan grew up basically as brothers. How crazy would that have been?)

I remember rolling my eyes very hard at Tony’s entrance with the Ironettes when I watched this in theaters. I was not looking forward to watching a whole movie of him being this egotistical. Interesting foreshadowing with him talking about legacy, though. He knows he’s dying, so while he’s eating, drinking, and being merry, he’s also concerned with getting his affairs in order.

Hehe, keep flirting with Pepper while the annoying Senator is talking to you. Yesss.

Okay, I’m kind of confused as to how Tony was able to act autonomously as Iron Man. As much as I love that he declared his identity to the world, he’s an American citizen, and he can’t just go flying around into military conflicts based on his own judgment. Is he getting away with it because he’s a billionaire? If so, that’s gross. Is it because he’s got all these military and political connections? Was he working with Rhodey when he “stabilized East/West relations”? How did that happen?

I love Tony trolling Senator Stern, I love the dopeyness of Justin Hammer (but I HATE when he calls Tony “Anthony”), and I love Rhodey’s attitude about being asked to give a much briefer book report than he was planning to. Is he the Hermione? I think he’s the Hermione.

Anyway. AUGH. Okay, every time we see the demonstration of Hammer Industries’ suit and it practically twists its pilot in half, I can’t help doing a full-body shudder and screaming a bit. That’s horrid.

What the heck? A black rectangle on a white canvas is considered art? Why?

Hi Nat! Love the hair!

Wait a second, Elon Musk? Holy crap.

“Not everyone runs on batteries, Tony.” Awww.

Ivan’s quite fond of walking away from explosions, isn’t he?

Hammer is such a dweeb. He had...organic Italian ice cream flown in from San Francisco. Dude, you are doing this rich guy thing wrong. I love watching Ivan interact with him.

I really don’t want to know the mechanics of being able to go to the bathroom in the suit if you’re also wearing clothes in there.

What exactly is the appeal of parties like that?

“Give me a phat beat to beat my buddy’s ass to.” *snort*

Bahaha, Rhodey hit him with the kitchen sink.

I love that they come up with their winning combo move during this fight.

Tony in the giant doughnut is great.

“Don’t get so attached to things. Learn to let go.”

Okay, one thing I never fully appreciated was that the arc reactor was Howard’s invention. Tony’s contribution was making it smaller, and successfully synthesizing the power source Howard always had in mind. Working that out makes me like this movie better. Also, Howard’s subterfuge—concealing his plans for the “new element” inside the Expo’s layout—was that because he was suspicious of SHIELD and didn’t want it falling into their hands? That’d be interesting, and it would fit in well with the way the Hydra plants eventually sent Bucky to kill him. 

Hammer has like zero charisma. I wonder if that’s the actor’s personality or if he’s just really good at playing a dweeb who thinks he’s the coolest guy ever (or wants you to think that, at least). I love Rhodey and General Allen staring stone-faced at him through the whole presentation.

I wonder if O’Reilly knew he was being portrayed as a douchebag in his cameo as himself.

Tony you are rambling. You know, I think he was trying to tell her he likes her, now that he’s more confident he’s not dying.

So all this “new element” stuff is pretty absurd science, but I love watching Tony in blacksmith/engineer mode. I wish they would’ve at least given us a number for Tony’s new element. And what did he name it? Tonium?

Ahahaha, I love Coulson’s concern with the weird Cap shield thing.

“Land of enchantment.” “So I’m told.” Heh. See you soon, Thor!

Not sure how the new core would’ve undone the damage from the old one, but okay.

Stop talking, Hammer. Your jokes are terrible.

I love Nat and Pepper taking down Hammer with an armbar and assertiveness, respectively.

Hi baby Peter! (Best retcon ever.)

You know, all these times someone in an Iron Man suit gets hurled very hard into the ground from great heights kinda make it more believable that Rhodey survives his fall in Civil War. Those things clearly have ridiculous shocks.

“Hammeroid Attack”

That blast should’ve sliced Ivan in half.

I love Rhodey crashing the Pepperony moment.

Tony’s small favor is so deliciously petty.

Okay so the theme here clearly has to do with legacies. Tony and Ivan are the legacies of Howard and Anton. Tony is concerned with what he’ll leave behind. I feel like it gets kinda muddled, though. Maybe if Howard had been portrayed as the clear antagonist in the situation between him and Anton, then the inherited conflict would have made Ivan look more sympathetic, and I think I would’ve liked it better if Tony had kept Howard on a pedestal, only to realize he wasn’t what he thought, rather than having him be a cold, distant father who turned out to actually love him (ineptly). Then in the final showdown with Ivan, Tony could’ve tried to bridge the gap and get through to Ivan, only to fail and be forced to take him out. In any case, Tony does realize the potential Howard saw in him and makes his vision for the arc reactor technology a reality.

This one doesn’t have as good of a story as the first, but I still like all the characters, including the newcomers.