#this is just a fancy way of saying i'm fucking cold lol

[clownpassing]

man i love being from&living in las vegas but holy shit this city should definitely not exist. why did we build the brightest city on earth in an area that is 120F in the summer and 30-40F in the winter, where there is very limited natural water??!?

[leatherbookmark]

our flag means death S2E3: the innkeeper

[sinkingquail]

an analysis of taliesin through the lens of astrology

DISCLAIMER: i don't claim to know everything about taliesin (i haven't beaten the game with him yet, oops). or astrology. nor is astrology for everyone. please take everything with a heaping spoonful of salt, thank you /gen. tl;dr at the end.

when you first meet taliesin, he's a cornered animal. he's surrounded by people he killed, about to bleed to death (and is hallucinating lol). then, a stranger comes up and sees a thalmor agent next to a ton of corpses. and what does he do?

he very matter-of-factly states that he did, indeed kill all the people around him and laughs about it. he insults your outfit when you call him a "monster". he tells you that he "carved out the heart" of a man because he insulted his dagger. what the heck, bro??

(this is of course not the most normal of circumstances)

holy fuck, if that doesn't scream deflection i don't know what does. this is a guy that is doing everything in his power to not show weakness, especially in such a dire situation.

for this reason, i believe taliesin is a scorpio rising. scorpio is what we call a "fixed water sign" which is essentially ice, so think cold, calculating, takes a while to warm up. scorpio risings are known for giving off stand-offish, dark, yet magnetic vibes. they're also known for putting up tons of walls when they're feeling vulnerable.

as you travel alongside tally, he opens up. he's still his sarcastic, incredibly straight-forward self (if you're playing an argonian, he will ask you if you're related to... smaller lizards lol). but he'll also make comments on how beautiful the night sky is, he'll tell you about how he wants to visit raven rock and elsweyr after exploring skyrim, he'll likely leave if you weren't adventuring, this mer wants to GO PLACES after being stuck doing lord knows what with the thalmor for who knows how long. i'm not quite sure if this guy has ever had the chance to just be his own person for once. ANYWAYS

i think a sagittarius sun best describes taliesin. they're what we call a "mutable fire sign" which combines the passion of the fire element with the fluidity of the mutable modality (this is basically a fancy way of saying "going with the flow"). these natives are known as "truth-seekers" for their inexplicable desire to understand and do not give a fuck if challenging the status quo is frowned upon (ok, with the thalmor it's a bit harder to do that). they're really philosophical, adventurous, and absolutely detest being tied down.

okay, now we're gonna move to the moon sign which is arguably the side of taliesin we see last: his emotions. i'm going to start byanalyzing this quote from him:

"Ah, a fellow insomniac. Seems you and I might have more in common than anticipated. My nights will be less lonely now."

what a roundabout way of saying "i can't sleep and i'm alone with my thoughts, i would really appreciate companionship". he's blunt about other things (this man does NOT pull punches... especially when it comes to your clothes lol) but when it comes to opening up further about his loneliness? nope nope not happening lol. it's like he's hinting at his emotions instead of flat out saying them. this sort of detachment also comes up in the next quote:

"To think, I could be bleeding to death peacefully in a pristine forest"

except this time, it's less about being emotionally vulnerable and more about thinking about his own death, but like, he's prodding the idea with a six-foot-long pole. regardless, he leaves the "wow, i would have died without you" part unsaid. he's using humor to neatly skirt around the part where without the player's intervention and random luck, he would've died. (he also has a quote about haunting you if he dies, which is a lovely example of his dark humor)

to me, this is indicative of a capricorn moon.

these guys are compartmentalizers. they want to push all their emotions into little boxes and hide them in the attic but forget that everything will break down eventually from the sheer weight. they are PRACTICAL, and they don't really believe that there's room for emotions when it comes to getting shit done. and they do indeed get shit done. they also tend to have incredibly high expectations for themselves and kinda just assume the worst in others? this makes a pretty weird dynamic with his sagittarius sun, which absolutely does want to be optimistic and open-minded. there's (probably) a lot of conflict there on his world outlook.

deep breath

okay, so for taliesin we have sun in sagittarius, moon in capricorn, and scorpio rising. the moon in capricorn + scorpio rising both contribute a lot to his seemingly cold and detached exterior, especially in the beginning. it's hard for him to open up ("well this has been fun, making myself emotionally vulnerable") but at the same time, makes his emotions run deep. once he opens up it's a whole new story.

he also has a self-proclaimed "lust for life", which i believe is the influence of his sagittarius sun. i think that taliesin really does want to go out there, explore the world, ponder life's questions, and grow, which of course he couldn't do with the thalmor.

okay, last one i swear:

we're gonna talk about my favorite, which is the asteroid chiron. it symbolizes what we call the "wounded healer" in astrology, and gives insight on where your "life wounds" are and how to heal from them.

his… less than kind childhood thanks to a shitty father points to chiron in the fourth house, which is essentially indicating some sort of wound that is related to his home life (the fourth house concerns home, family, and security).

but how does this manifest in him?

aside from struggling to find a "true home" or place where he's accepted for who he is, i think taliesin also (especially as an older sibling) feels the need to take responsibility (aka: stop the ldb from doing stupid shit), probably struggles with feelings of inadequacy, and is fiercely protective of the dragonborn ("You want them? You'll have to get through me first!", he also says something along the lines of "don't go too far ahead, i don't want to lose you in the fog". he also latches onto them very quickly which i'd love to talk about, but alas)

as a result of this, i believe his chiron is also in capricorn. people with their capricorn in chiron feel a constant need to prove themselves - when you combine this with chiron in the 4th house, it basically says:

taliesin grew up in an authoritative household that placed incredibly high expectations on him. as a result of this pressure, he struggles with deep-rooted self-esteem issues (i have the feeling his aura of self-confidence is a way to convince himself of his positive traits, fake it til you make it ig) and perhaps, a need for control in his environment. the ldb is so so so important to him. they bring a sense of stability, purpose, companionship, and genuine acceptance of him, which are all things that he hasn't really experienced. brb, crying

i might just be pulling all of this out of my ass, so again, don't take this too seriously lol i barely know what i'm talking about

TL;DR taliesin's scorpio rising gives him a somewhat cooler exterior that hides his emotional vulnerabilities (cough chiron in capricorn) that is further swept aside by his capricorn moon. however, there's a deep passion for adventure and a quest for truth from his sagittarius sun, which helps balance out the more cynical sides of him, especially when you take into account all the trauma this mer has. this has to be the weirdest crossover of my interests i've seen. i know not everyone cares for astrology, but i find it to be a really interesting way to analyze characters and is an excellent tool for introspection. taliesin is doing a great job. he's really respectful about boundaries, i like to think he's gone to therapy at least a little. keep it up, tally <3

[the-fiction-witch]

Love In Separation P1

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Sweet Af

Requested: Its another benny one lol (I love that man to death😂) But imagine benny being like super upset cause he hasn't seen his girlfriend in like forever (two weeks lmao) cause she's busy in London for work and he's so upset that when she suddenly shows up at one of his tournaments he just fucking runs dead straight for her and hugs her like "I MISSED YOU!!!!!" cuz lets be real benny is definitely that type of boyfriend anyways

so he's like so happy and hugging her that he doesn't even remember the tournament he's just focused on his girlfriend 😂

I sat admittedly pouting, sat on the bed my back against the wall my shoes kicked off of course leaving me in my black socks, dark blue jeans my belt still wrapped around the bedpost, and my dark grey button-down my sleeves rolled up to my elbows my arms crossed over my chest I could feel the cold sing of my chains against my arms. Watching as she moved gracefully around our bedroom often moving back and forth between the edge of the bed where her suitcase sat with various items sorted into piles and the wardrobe where most of her dresses hung. Her little white fluffy slippers glided across the concrete floor, the slight swishing sound of her long black dress as she moved humming to herself as she picked things out, counting clothes and picking perfume all the usual packing things but I couldn't help feeling the way I did

"Do you have to go?" I asked

"I have to We've been over this" she laughed

"Can't your agent just do it?"

"No, it's a press tour that's the whole point" she laughed "hummm plaid or checked skirt?" She asks holding both

"Plaid always, but y/n I'm serious there's no way you're able to get out of this?"

"No Benny, you know I wouldn't go away if I didn't have to," she says giving my cheek a kiss

"But you'll be gone so Iong,"

"Benny I'll be gone two weeks?"

"So?"

"So? You go away for tournaments for months at a time in the chess season?"

"I know but I always take you with me," I told her getting to my feet wrapping my arms around her pulling her into my chest "We haven't spent any real time apart since you moved in, and you'll be so far away, in a whole other place that might not be safe, and we won't even be able to call because of the time difference, and I'll be going to my tournament and I haven't been to a tournament on my own in-" I began but she kissed me

"You can just say you'll miss me, Benny"

"Of course, I'll miss you, little bird." I cooed pulling her into my chest and of course, she happily rested her cheek against my shirt as I gently stroked her hair until she moved and rubbed her nose into my chest "Hey!" I complained it ticked

"It'll be okay, it's just for two weeks Benny then I'll be home"

"I know, I just… I'm not used to you not being around."

"Well it'll give you lots of guy time"

"Guy time?"

"Yeah to do all the things I usually don't let you" She smiled heading out of the bedroom but I followed her

"Like what?"

"Like, have a party?" She laughed going to the shower to make up her wash kit to take with her

"I don't like parties"

"Drink loads of beer and watch sports?"

I didn't even answer I just leant on the kitchen counter and glared at her "Well not exactly that, but do…man things"

"Everything you tell me not to do you have very good reasons for,"

"Like?"

"Like you tell me not to leave junk food out, very good we love in New York the rats don't need encouragement, you tell me to shower everyday good my body is weird and goes sour if I not constantly cleaning myself, you tell me to make the bed and I actually really like when I'm tired and I get to crawl into a warm made bed it's nice makes me feel fancy"

"Well do other not-normal things then, have wine, play poker, buy chicken nuggets. Just do whatever is going to make you happy Benny" she laughed taking her now full wash kit and giving my cheek a kiss before she went to the bedroom to add it to her suitcase

"But… being here with you would make me happy"

"Naaawwwww" she giggled "that's so cute"

"I'm not cute"

She smiled coming and taking my hands pulling me into the room more "Benny, when you wanna be your damn right adorable" she smiled rubbing her nose on my own "humm what would the chess boys think? There scary goth cowboy pirate all cuddly and cute"

"That's why you're the only one who gets to see me like this" I smiled pulling her into a kiss and stroking her cheek "My little bird, I'm really gonna miss you"

"Aww Benny I'm gonna miss you too"

"I'll be here in this dark cold basement all on my own, without my little bird to warm my bed, or make me coffee, or to go shopping with, or to do laundry with, or cook with, or play chess with, or cuddle, or kiss"

"Awww Benny, it's okay it's only two weeks just have fun treat yourself have some boy time, play chess, have drinks, get a pizza do some self-care. Enjoy some time without a lady messing up your boy time. Like it was before I moved in"

"Do you have any idea how miserable I was before you moved in?"

"No"

"Well, I was. And it's not just being here on my own, I have to pack up and drive all the way to Ottawa by myself without my little bird to navigate for me, and I can't even get slushie and fries on the way because that's the thing we do and without you, I'll just be all alone in my car with half an order of fries and half a slushie that you normally have" I explained

"You still can Benny"

"No, not without my little bird. It's not the same it's our tradition I can't do it without you"

"That's very sweet Benny, why not get something else like a cola and a burger or something instead then?"

"I guess but who's gonna make the hotel bed up just the way I like? Who's gonna help me figure out hotel shower taps? Who's gonna tell me I'm wearing my boxers inside out?" I explained

"I'm sure you can manage all of that yourself for one trip Benny" she laughed heading to the bedroom getting her now packed suitcase and bringing it to the door with her already packed handbag she kicked off her slippers and put on her little flat shoes for travelling going through her handbag to check she has all her paperwork and I sheepishly approached

"But… who's going to tell me how handsome and clever I am before I go play?"

"Well I suppose you just won't be told"

"But - but you tell me how clever and handsome I am before every tournament."

"That's true"

"I can barely play chess competitively without being told how handsome and clever I am"

"Well tell yourself?"

"That's not the same"

"Benny" she sighed

"I'm sorry y/n. I shouldn't be complaining. This is a big deal I'm excited for you getting to tour for the release of your book, I really am happy for you, I'm sorry for being such a crybaby about it"I told her giving her a cuddle

"Thank you, Benny, it's alright it's very sweet to see how much you care"

"I'm just not used to being away from you"

"I'm not used to it either benny, how do you think I feel having to fly off halfway around the world without the man I love to keep me company, it's alright it's just for two weeks and I'll be back home again"

"I'm sorry"

"It's alright, It's sweet to hear how much you'll miss me" she smiled

"Of course, I'll miss my little bird, but have fun really and be safe"

"I will and I'll bring you a present back I promise"

"Alright," I nodded as I slipped my shoes on, I took her bags up to the street and soon enough her car to the airport arrived so I loaded up her things for her and stood on the pavement staring at the yellow cab knowing she'd be gone she's picked my head up and smiled

"It's just two weeks"

"It's just two weeks" I nodded "I'm gonna miss you little bird," I told her pulling her close and inhaling her sweet sugary scent squeezing her tightly doing my best not to cry

"I'm going to miss you too Benny"

I knew if I didn't let her go now I wouldn't and I didn't want to make her late for her flight so I forced my arms away taking her face in my hands and kissing her forehead as I stroked her cheek "I love you little bird'

"I love you too Benny" she smiled pulling my hands down and giving my hands each a kiss before she moved away climbing into the cab the driver started up and she blew me a kiss before the cab and she scampered away into the hazy new York streets.

I headed down to the apartment and locked the door kicking off my shoes leaning my hands on the railing listening to the deathly silence of being alone. 

[conscience-killer]

I was tagged by @prince-luffy who is a very good egg. Also I'm in a waffling mood so there may be waffling. I might also be drunk.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25. Eight years of writing. Twenty-fucking-five. That's pretty pathetic lol.

2. What’s your total word count?

112,442. Almost a novel. Probably. It's a lot of cocks either way.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Always Sunny currently, Preacher and Gotham in the past.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos:

1 - The Bird and the Worm

2 - Checkmate

3 - From Despair to Where

4 - Nice Guys Finish Last

5 - Lost Souls Forever

All Gotham, although Figure It Out is almost catching up with LSF which makes me happy. There's quite a bit of of novice cringe in that list, so click at your own peril. I guess we all had to learn somewhere.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Where Did You Sleep Last Night? for sure. Honourable mentions to Comeback Kid and Time to Pretend, though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All His Suits Are Torn. :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nah. Never written for a popular enough fandom.

9. Do you write smut?

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

10. Do you write crossovers?

Never fancied it. I've always preferred to stick as close to canon as I can. Alternate scenarios to episodes and scenes have always been my jam.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. More gifs than I can count though, sigh.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I'm aware of. Years ago someone asked to translate Checkmate (I think?) to another language but I never saw anything of it. Maybe I didn't look hard enough.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don't think I ever would have considered co-writing if I'd never met @constant-sinner. Our styles and kinks and preferences just gel so well.

Please check out our most recent collab: My God Is the Sun. We hadn't worked together since Evol in 2019 and it still just flowed so nicely. I do love me some shameless plugs.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

You can pry Cricksden from my cold, dead hands. A third of their fics on ao3 are mine and that pleases me greatly.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Father of All Motherfuckers was my only wip but it got shitcanned because I just didn't have the time (or the ideas, lol). Not If You Were the Last Junkie on Earth rose from its ashes and honestly I'm happy about that. I really enjoyed writing it. I have toyed with the idea of a set of confessional fics using some of its remnants too, but ehhh. Maybe.

16. What are your writing strengths?

As Raymond says, whimsical blasphemy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I've never been a fan of dialogue. Some of my stories have masses of it which leads me to believe I was possessed by some sort of loquacious demonic entity at the time. Junkie had zero dialogue and that wasn't even a conscious decision, but goddamn it felt nice.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

If I could speak more than a few words of another language, sure.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Gotham.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Blasphemy (The Victimless Crime). It probably always will be. That fic helped me a lot and led to more fun than I could have ever envisioned. I owe it a motherfucking shitload.

tagging: @jessicorvus @bensonstablers and any other fic-writing mutual whose name may or may not have disappeared into my glass of Baileys. Salut.

[safyresky]

BUD-A-BOOP-BOP! TWINS!

boy HOWDY have some THURSDAY NIGHT SCRIMBLES! 🥳 Now in magical TECHICOLOUR! It's older Twins! Fino and Fiera!

Design stuff below the cut 🤗🤗

My god I'm having fun with these markers. But the colours are LIMITED as I only have like 2 starter sets and they're FUN but deffs I could use a few more in betweens.

ANYWAY. DESIGNS.

Fino

Doing my boy first bc we already had fun with Older Fiera ages ago lmao

I'd been wanting to share his older design for AGES tbh! Had it in me head around the same time as I shared the older twins and Jacquie scribbles lol. ANYWAY

He is SEMI fancy! Big fan of button downs and vests/waistcoats!

Doesn't ALWAYS wear the vest

His shirts 9/10 times have funky patterns. Like fungi or flowers or just the weirdest fucking designs you EVER did see. His siblings and orc friend (Kenothy) all make it a fun game to find him the most OBNOXIOUSLY WEIRD SHIRTS. His collection is HUGE and VARIED and HURTS THE EYES FIFTY PERCENT OF THE TIME

he is like a walking mullet but the business is on top, the party is below. He is a jeans man through and through and you can pry his converse/kicks off his cold, dead feet tbh. they are ALWAYS red. he probably has like 10 pairs like some kinda cartoon character

belt is pink bc fiera's magic! the inside of his cloak is rainbow, like his twin's fire :D

the cloak also does have a big old hood and covers his whole him so he can look mysteriouse

and then give people whiplash when he whips the cloak back and pulls the hood down and. well. on fire colourful schemey looking young man

everyone's usually like "i didn't expect the freckles. or the fungi shirt"

the fungi shirt is his fave

plz picture a fungi pattern all over his shirt!

when he uses his staff, the flame turns rainbow too and the snowflake glows :3

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Fino's warlock aesthetic is "i live in your local forest and i love my family and i'm making it everyone's problem"

the outside of the cloak is a nice forest green! bc he likes forests (if that wasn't obvious lol)

he's pretty chill but has resting plotting face. generally if he's looking like that he has examined every angle of a situation and is about to make a bigger one. or fix the current one. or both!! and is VERY proud of himself!!!! (as he SHOULD be!)

he and Fiera ARE the same height but I drew Fiera first and started Fino top down as you do but neglected to watch the height lol. so just know. they are BOTH tall and BOTH the same height!!!!

He is the BEST warlock of the current era he is warlocking in. If Uncle Pyros was around he'd be mad jealous. Same with Granny Frost tbh. Grandpa Winter would like, lift him up like Simba like "THAT'S MY GRANDBSON! THE BEST WARLOCK IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"

(if the bio grandparents were around, you bet it would be a big case of "the in-laws don't get along" lmao)

Fiera

pink is her fave colour and the colour of her magic, so her shirt, shoes, AND hair ribbons are all pink, but it's a lil light, innit? like i said, limited colours lol

BUT WE'RE HAVING A GRAND OLD TIME DOWN THIS WAY.

EVEN IF MY NOSE SMELLS LIKE ALCOHOL ALL THE DAMN TIME

RIGHT. FIERA.

HOT PANTS! SHE'S GOT HOT PANTS!!! They're not that dark blue, bit of a lighter wash for her denim (but I don't have a lot of blue options lol)

suspenders are red bc FINO'S MAGIC! one is always hanging off of her, the other is always up. she doesn't do this on purpose it just HAPPENS bc she doesn't actually really need them? it's the FASHION. the STYLE.

sometimes hair ribbons are red too, bc Fino magic :3

ALSO wears converse but the boot like ones, bc I've always wanted a pair of boot converse! They look SOO COOL and SOO INCONVENIENT, AND THEY ARE COLOURFUL! I mean. Fiera's are pink but I'VE SEEN ALL THE COLOURS. AND I WANT.

I mean. why make OCs if not for them to wear the things you can't have/afford/pull off?

huehuehue

she's not THAT buff tho she is pretty strong. i am a writer by trade so my doodles are not to scale (read: scrimbly). anyway, she's probably usually a tank/halter top person??? this doodle just really wanted to be a t-shirt!

both twins have elements of their outfits inspired by the fam, not TOTALLY on purpose but it did make me cackle as I noticed them so TAKE THIS QUICK SYNOPSIS:

Fino:

dress shirt, belt over suspenders: blaise vibes

big ol cloak: winter vibes

comfortable shoes: jacquie vibes

vest: jack vibes

Fiera:

suspenders: jack and blaise vibes (both are known to wear them as an accessory instead of for their intended purpose of keeping pants up)

hot pants and boot like shoes: jacquie vibes

hair buns: winter vibes

man, I love the older twins. the SHENANIGANS they get INTO! they're a dream team, you won't know what hit you by the time they're through with you 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[finniestoncrane]

Perhaps a follow up to Don't Write Checks with their first date? Loved the classic 'person is right behind you' trope!

Don't Write Checks: Part 2

part one here Farrell!Penguin x Female!Reader, word count: 800 i'm sorry this one got a bit angsty oops but i redeemed it i hope lol request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: actually nothing omg

“So, you don’t talk much, huh?”

You were shaken out of your stupor by his words, suddenly aware that you were just sitting there, staring at him across the table, not even eating the food. Just listening as he talked about himself, sipping at the wine you imagined was more expensive than a week’s rent. He even looked hot when he ate, and was it weird to with you were the pasta on his plate? Probably.

“Speechless, huh?” He flashed a grin, his gold tooth catching the light at the same time as he winked. You stuttered, trying to think of something to say, anything, it didn’t even have to be a flirtatious or witty response, just words, a word, any word. But you couldn’t.

“I’m just kidding, sweetheart. Hey, you don’t have to talk, I’m doing it all for ya. I just hope you’re having an ok time is all. Can’t imagine it’s that much fun for a pretty thing like you to be out here with an old mook like me.”

Still nothing, your breath was catching in your throat. If you didn’t say something now, it was over. And yet your brain couldn’t remember what any words were, or the way to say them, and your lips weren’t helping you out.

“I uh…I apologise. I didn’t mean to force you to come out. I heard you talking, I told you where to meet me. I know you came, sweetheart, but I know it’s difficult to say no to someone with my…reputation. But if you wanna leave, you can. Understand?”

The sincerity in his words, the lingering sense of hurt beneath his confident voice. The pressure was mounting in your chest.

“I have…will you excuse me?”

“Course, of course.” He waved you off, dabbing at the corners of his mouth with a napkin as he clicked his fingers, summoning four waiters who all abandoned their tables to come rushing to him.

In the bathroom, you dabbed at your forehead with some tissue paper, trying to get rid of the sheen of nervous sweat that formed all over you. This was your only chance, with someone you’d had a crush on for a long time, and you were ruining it by being so weird. You slapped your face a little, trying to wake yourself up out of whatever nightmare you were self-imposing and headed back out to the restaurant. As you made your way to the table, you noticed it was empty, but you took your seat, assuming Oswald had left to go to the bathroom. You picked up your glass, taking a tiny sip of the wine, trying to make it last out of guilt, not wanting him to have to purchase another. You choked on the sip as the waiter appeared unexpectedly behind you.

“Oh, apologies ma’am. Uh…will you thank Mr. Cobblepot for the tip?”

“He…tipped? He paid?”

“Yes! Sorry, he did say he had to rush. He gave me this for you.” He produced a small piece of paper and handed it to you.

“Another drink?”

“No! Thank you…” You held the paper in your hands, too nervous to open it, but knowing you would have to. In an elegant scrawl, Oswald had left you a message.

“Sorry again, doll. You gotta know though that I don’t entertain maybes. I’m a yes or no kinda guy, and I’m not in the business of just taking women. Finish your food, finish your wine, my treat. And no hard feelings, toots. You should never meet your idols, huh?”

“Fuck.” It took everything in you not to cry at the table, but you already felt so out of place somewhere this fancy. And now you had to get up and walk out of the door alone, embarrassed, and full of self-hate as you realised you had messed up the best luck you ever had.

You stepped into the cold street, shivering under your coat. As it started to drizzle, you took a couple steps in the direction of your apartment but stopped and leant against the wall, face in your hands as you let the tears fall, disguised by the rain. You had Oswald Cobblepot across from you at one of the most romantic restaurants in the city, and you blew it. Well done. Congratulations.

A set of car headlights slowly rounded the corner, stopping abruptly in front of you. Beyond the sound of your soft sobs and the rain falling harder on the pavement, you almost didn’t hear the door open, footsteps approaching, the voice from beside you, not until the patter of the raindrops began to hit the top of the umbrella and you looked up.

“Need a ride, sweetheart?”

[aprillikesthings]

OKay gotta distract myself from constantly refreshing my fic and staring at numbers, by continuing my spop rewatch

If you're new here: I'm rewatching all of She-Ra for fic writing purposes, and live-blogging it, with too many screenshots. None of this is spoiler-free. I make a lot of jokes and talk about my life and make references to other shit.

Also, I find Catra's villainy to be kinda hot (okay more than just kinda hot)

s4 ep1 the coronation

"April did you rewatch the Portal scene again"

Yes, because that's where I left it paused, mind your own business

OKAY so I remember this from the first time I watched it, like, four years ago--that of all the emotional stuff this show gets 100% correct, I'm not sure Glimmer's grief over her mother is all that accurately portrayed. She just seems to "get over it" too fast?

By which I mean: yes, it's the focus of this episode, but that's basically it.

When my dad died--and keep in mind I'd been no contact for six months, I'd already done most of my grieving for him!--I was so out of it I couldn't even read anything longer than a few paragraphs for multiple months. All my writing basically screeched to a halt. And Glimmer likes her mom!

BUT tbh I keep remembering someone pointing out that each season covers WAY more time than I originally assumed. Because the first time I watched this I assumed we were like, literally a week or two after the events at the end of s3. It's probably closer to several months. And that makes way more sense.

Also who else is confused as to what "princess" and "queen" even mean in this universe, like there are several princesses who are clearly in charge of their kingdoms? is just when their parents DIE that they become queens? if so wtf is wrong with Frosta's parents "lol you're eight now, time for you to be in charge of literally everything, and you'll never see us again"??

okay but literally did they only ask Mermista to do the flowers as a joke bc I am literally sad for her now :(

There she is!!! 😍

Also I read some (old) commentary from Nate about why her hair is flatter this season and nooooooo

oh hey remember that you tied up Adora

okay do you remember this specific time you tied up Adora lolol

"Don't talk about my ex-girlfriend!!! it's a very sensitive topic *sobs*"

Glimmer's coronation robe is so great. I wonder if, like IRL ones, it's made out some insanely hard-to-get fur and weighs approximately five tons.

The line delivery of "BOW! CALM DOWN!" made me laugh so hard I had to play it for other people and then watch it again.

"Power changes people"

Not everyone is like you!!! >:(

(if anything, responsibility is more likely to change Glimmer)

poor bb

it's Entrapta's little naked mole rat robot!! which is also somehow also a squeaky toy??

Scorpia wants SO BAD to find a way to see Catra as not a terrible person

the robot didn't deserve that

"Don't talk about my ex-girlfriend!!! it's a very sensitive topic *sobs*" (pt 2)

Scorpia is such a cinnamon roll

Adora literally only owns like three outfits. And this is her "nice dress."

Bow's dad's!!

Also this is framed so much like a wedding, even the music is wedding-ish

I'M NOT SAYING A DAMN THING ABOUT THIS

A FRIEND

okay maybe not

I'm sticking with my theory that this is several months after the end of s3 which means she's been like this (unable to teleport) for a while

Yeah, people have discussed this a great deal, re: grief: most people want to talk about the people they've lost, if you give them a safe time/place to do it. You don't have to avoid the subject.

;_;

I once again ask myself: where were you keeping the sword this whole time lolol

NICE (Glimmer put the fancy lantern into the little niche for it)

Aziraphale? Is that you?

IT'S SO CUTE

I wonder when Angella recorded this

YEAH!

where did you get the new outfit 2. isn't your other arm cold 3. she's fucking purring

She says this the exact same way she says "Hey, Adora" and I went "EUGGGH" out loud

Some people were like, "oh, her redemption arc in s5 was so rushed" and meanwhile I'm like, "I wish they'd made her deranged and mean a little longer, actually. For Reasons."

Anyway I've run out of images unless I reblog the post, SO: she yanks the little crystal thing Entrapta made out of Hordak's suit so he collapses and then taunts him with the knowledge that Horde Prime is not gonna be happy to find out he can't even subdue the Rebellion, basically puts herself in charge, end of episode

WOOOOO

[non-plutonian-druid]

Hi!!! I absolutely love your ATWQ au, I never got to read that series but I loved ASOUE so I’m intrigued!!

Would love to hear more about Klaus and Ben specifically in this AU because they are my Sons and I love them

This is such an interesting idea!!

thank youuuuu! i love ATWQ, although i do think that ASOUE is probably objectively the better series. ATWQ is just much more up my alley in terms of aesthetics! also i fucking love the art for it, which you may have observed in my repeated attempts to copy it for this au

Thank you!!! I love ATWQ. I think ASOUE is probably objectively the better series, but the aesthetics of ATWQ are so up my alley. Plus i really love the art, which you may have noticed since i keep trying to copy it for this au.

I haven't decided if they're a little older or a little younger than Five, but either way they'd be in the range of 12-14, with Klaus being maybe a year older than Ben.

In this AU, Klaus and Ben have been living together on their own in this little abandoned town for a long time. I don't think i came up with a town name, but in the books its called Stained-by-the-Sea and used to make ink, and in this au it is a town that used to manufacture umbrellas instead. Like in the books, this town was formerly fairly successful, but has fallen on hard times in recent decades and slowly been closing down ever since. At the time of this AU, it's nearly entirely dead, and most of the only people remaining are children holding down the family businesses while their parents set up new lives for them in the City. There are some adults remaining, but not very many, and not many people in general.

This got long, so I'm putting the rest of it under the cut lol

I mention all of this in the context of your question in order to show that *at the moment*, Klaus and Ben are in a pretty similar situation to many of the other children in the town; many children are unsupervised while their parents are in the process of moving. However, Klaus and Ben have been unsupervised for much much longer. They've never been precisely homeless, because there are many empty buildings, but they haven't had anyone other than themselves watching out for them for a long time.

Both of them have been taking odd jobs for the duration of their acquaintance, entry level retail jobs, and so on. They avoid the remains of the police force because if they were caught without parents or a guardian they would be sent to the City and probably separated.

They were living in this way for several years, up until... i have a specific number of months in my outline but i'm too lazy to go fact check. Lets go with "a few months" before Five arrives in town. See, a few months before, the town's old school mysteriously reopened. It had been a fancy boarding school for rich umbrella manufacturing people's kids (like some kind of... umbrella academy), until there weren't any rich people in town anymore and it closed down. Now it's reopened and it's saying that the children from the town can attend, for free!

Ben has wanted to go to school for so long. He loves reading!! The library is his favorite place!! Klaus wants absolutely nothing to do with school. He likes their life in town, where they're beholden to nobody, way better thank you. But he knows Ben really wants this. So they separate, for the first time in years. Ben *promises* he will write every day, and come back on weekends or breaks or however it is boarding schools work. There is probably much crying.

At first, it goes just like how Ben promises. He doesn't write literally every day, but more than once a week. He hasn't had a day where they're free to return to town yet, but they make plans for when he will. He's having a blast learning about science and reading books and doing math, although it's weird having rules to follow again. Although, he mentions that they have a weird amount of mandatory medical checkups, and he's caught a cold a few times from being in close proximity to a bunch of kids for the first time in while.

And then.... the letters start to have gaps. Because Ben is busy, or feeling ill or tired. He gets distracted. And then, they stop entirely. By the time Five shows up in town, Klaus hasn't gotten a letter from Ben in months.

I think most of that is a just slightly more in depth version of what I've already said about them. Here are a few other tidbits:

before he.... disappeared...., Ben had a giant and incredibly obvious crush on the new librarian, Jill. Klaus teased him about it a lot and tried to get him to send her love letters (he did not succeed in this endeavor because Ben knows when he's being played)

one of Klaus' current jobs is at a printing shop. He's using it to make missing posters for Ben.

Klaus meets Five because he is a witness for a crime that Five is investigating. Once he learns about people investigating crimes that aren't the police (and once he finishes teasing Five for having a number for a name), he asks for Five's help in figuring out what happened to Ben. This, more than the crime, is what gets the plot in motion. Ben is the main Damsel In Distress of this saga, sorry Ben

I'm thinking that one of Klaus' side jobs is being a phone psychic. I just think it would be funny

im not telling you what happened to either of their parents. One of the recurring things in ATWQ is that you never truly learn what's going on with children's parents. You are given no information other than the kids' words, and they never tell more than the absolute bare minimum. So I will not be doing that either!

[benefits1986]

death note. death wish.

Living your life backwards may be a good way to living a life that's more than black and white, right?

And so, we're here and now. When I'm asked what my wish list is, my usual reply is: Peace of mind.

This response gives a "fuck off" vibe without cursing. It works so well because I got a number of really, really curious gifts for the past years which involved a Moonswatch that was turned over to my dad, para walang palag ang vini ajumma n'yo.

What's my wish list? Back when I was 18 years old, stuck at home and caring for mom, I journaled whenever time permitted it. I listed down delulu x solulu items. I recently unearthed it and I can say that as per my timeline, only a very few things on the list needed to be crossed out. I'm starting this day with rewatching NA Season 4. Habol tayo sa mga paganaps because June is ending soon.

This year, what's my death wish? Building a Lego project I shall not name.

Seeing the first sunrise and sunset in my tiny home outside MNL.

Eating Jap food and downing tea. Rinse and repeat. Then, cheese, cold cuts, and an ice-cold alcoholic drink. Rinse and repeat ulit.

Getting a rice cooker, a wok, a cleaver, and a basic tiny kitchen set up.

Hunting down a mattress and pillows with a mattress protector to address unavoidable back pains atbp.

Biking more and walking more. Watching more Netflix with Dad even when his algo is not algo-ing.

Seeing my good friend power through after a really bad fall.

Getting the edits for a project on the back burner since 2015.

Spending time with my soul sis and Tito Ro that involves Batang 90s galawans in every sense of the word.

Going back to driving or maging passenger princess forever. Puwede both.

Spending more and more time beyond the outside of MNL. Tawid-dagat na us, vini.

Getting Vici and Vidi's vibe as senior dog babies pa rin. Tabing-gutter to tabing-dagat days and nights.

Growing my side project silently. No details are to be shared anytime soon. Plantita may bakuran na saks lang. No flower-bearing plants. And mga curation ng endemic plants sa Pinas na acclimated na. May iba pa pero TMI na e. So eto na lang muna. :-P

A few days ago, I got a kicks that I've been hunting down for quite some time. It reminds me of mom's OG pair when I was the only child. I saw this in her rare photos and boogsh. Ngayon ko pa talaga nakuha 'di ba? Even dad was surprised to see it's giving mom's mom shoes and the 90s vibe that's so me. Hint: Platform because my height is too ugh and I'm a thicccc bitch.

My current hair color also surprised me. Super like mother dragon's staple hair color nung kalakasan niya. This should have been a totally different color, but my colorist and I planned it out so that by December, I'd be able to get the hair color I like based on my mood, of course. Whenever I look at the mirror, it feels as though mom is staring back at me with her RBF. Kakatakot. I look like my Dad, pero 'pag ganito hair ko, shemayyy. Parang bumangon sa lupa nanay kong maligalig. Lerkkkzzz. Lagi na lang this time of the year 'yang pakawala ng paramdam nanay ko. This day starts on a very curious and different note, too. LOL. Maiba naman, for realzzzz noh? Death Note naman. Super straight up, this has been aligned with my best friend naman na. -No viewing; rekta cremate -Ashes in Mt. Pulag and Mt. Batulao (good luck sa magaakyat neto at sa lungs niya) -Walang pasend off sa huling gabi -Walang paghahatid sa huling hantungan -Walang socmed bakas -Walang photos and vids -Walang photos ko pero may photos na mga naprint ko (mostly Instax) -No flowers, no fancy stuff -Finger food -Batang 90s chichirya (tagpipiso) -Non-spiked cocktails -Ice-cold water -Extra hot black coffee -Pride PL na naka vinyl -Instant pancit canton and siomai with rice O 'di ba? Basic lang. Just plugging it here para it's a reminder na una-unahan lang 'yan. No one is too young or too old to die. Kapit lungs. And try seeing life from the vantage point of death. I've questioned myself so many times about this death perspectives. Baka I'm romanticizing it lang, after all. Pero no e. No talaga. I wish ganun nga, pero, siguro, this time around, mas at peace na ako, in a way. I've read about SI as well recently. Then I prompted as Gemini. Sabi tumawag daw ako sa helpline with call to action na pak. Me: I just asked naman. Duh. OA ang nonchalant bitch na 'to, na wonky naman a lot of time. LELS. I guess, now, I'm more open instead of being forced to open up. Malaking difference 'yan, and I guess, that's the difference that makes things better --weekends and weekdays, too. Sana lang mga pimples ko, umayon 'di ba? May jamboree na naman sila because it's the time of the friggin' month na boogsh talaga sila. PS: Super love talaga NA. As in! Hits home on all levels. Plus, super gwapo ni Max and cutie ni vini Helen. Si Max, mala-Jezzazz take the wheel 'yung vibe na weirdo na maligalig. Blue looks so good on him, too!

[diaryoftheunidropout]

DAY 93

Ask me what hell is for anyone with contamination OCD and I'll describe it to you better than anyone else ever will.

I'm going through it right now.

Today didn't start off too well. At lunch, we ended up in some shitty ass fancy restaurant with one menu that only has meat, meat, and more meat.

Update: sorry, I went to bed right after that and didn't keep my phone with me lol

Anyway, I was saying, about the restaurant. It turned out to be fine in the end because I still found things to eat and my mom gave me some of her potatoes and my grandma gave me some of her desserts.

Then we visited some little towns, and then we got to my uncle, aunt, two cousins and the boyfriend of one (whom I've met before). They were all really surprised although the first thing my aunt said is "I knew it!"

We spent the evening together and it was very lovely although I spent more time with my younger cousin than my eldest one (because she was with her boyfriend and I didn't wanna bother them too much and give them some space). Sometimes it makes me a little sad to not have her for myself but I deal with it.

Just before we got on our way back to the camping car parked not far away, I mentioned a taking a shower and my grandpa said, "there'll be no showers tonight". In French, we'd call that "la douche froide" ("the cold shower") which is... ironic I suppose. So I just spiralled. I cried a lot and blamed it on the allergies. I was just so fucking desperate. So I cried myself to sleep some more, thought of what I'd say in my suicide letters and what I'd need to prepare, and then I fell asleep and dreamt of the Miraculous Ladybug: Awakening movie and some show premiering in London called Miraculous, The Musical, and both were somehow awful.

I'm eating with my cousins for lunch today. I don't know what else.

I'm going to go take a shower but it's too late because now my pajamas and bed are dirty for the rest of the trip and I can't do anything about it.

Sleeping in a body that has touched, been touched, been sweating, been covered in sunblock... that's just so gross. I hated it.

[enhyz]

poly! jayke (jake + jay) <3

genre : smut, fluff

pairing : jay x fem! reader x jake.

things to note : mentions of a spit kink, daddy kink, this is smutty after the cut lol, pda, food (sort of)

a/n : forcing myself to write this so I can feel inspired is probably not the best idea but here we are. I've decided to turn this into somewhat of a series where I wrote poly! headcanons with members from the hyung line. you can find my poly!sungseung/heehoon, on my old blog @simpforhoon , so let's let's starteeeeddd, and sorry if this is a little chaotic I just kept writing down whatever came to my mind first.

okay so

jay and jake

your relationship would be like that of best friends

jay takes the lead in the relationship, making it his first and foremost priority to take care of the two of you.

whether it's making sure yall have your jackets on before you leave the house on a cold day, or making ramyeon for you and jake when the two of you are too tired to even walk, he's got your backs. always.

while jay shows his love through acts of service, jake is, I feel pretty big on showing his love through physical affection. he's always cuddling yall, pressing kisses to your cheeks, and he loves having you on his lap.

he's the one that makes sure all three of you are snuggled up together wherever you are, and he has to be touching you at all times, it's his way of feeling reassured that you're there and not going anywhere.

jake and jay would always want your attention on them but jakey is more obvious about it than jay is.

they love spoiling you so much, you're their baby and they'd go to the literal ends of the universe to get you anything you say you like.

oh, you were looking at that cute shirt at the mall the other day? surprise! Two days later its sitting on your bed, folded neatly.

dates where the three of you go to amusement parks, or picnics, and fancy restaurants are quite common. while sunghoon and heeseung would prefer lounging at home, they always want to go out with you, and show you off.

jay and jake have a good sense of fashion, so they would definitely love picking out your outfit for the day!!

if you seem even a little bit sad anytime during the day, these big babies would not leave your side at all. unless they realise that yo yo need some space, they'd be all over you, pressing kisses to your forehead, pressing sweet kisses to your lips and making sure you're all snuggled up between them.

and that's all for the fluff part, I literally can't think anymore ugh, smut under the cut!

here we go my fave part.

jay = dom for fucking sure. jake, in this sort of ship could be quite switchy with a dom lean.

I felt weird talking about this under fluff, cause its not, but like

non-sexual dominance, I'm a sucker for that stuff, but between jay and jake i feel like it would be huge.

jay is always leaning down to tie your laces for you, jake always makes you walk on the side of the road that isn't close to the cars ykyk

all it takes is one look from either of them in public for you to stop being bratty.

they'll always have a hand on your thigh, whatever the situation is.

very very very freaky.

bondage, marking, spit, excessive use of nicknames, pet play, roleplay, they love all the good stuff.

they're huge on nicknames and they def don't shy away from pda unless you're uncomfortable w it ofc <3 "princess/Prince, come here." "what do you think, baby?" "look at you, such a pretty little baby, and all for us. isn't that right?" and the pda omg, when they get jealous they'll be all over you, pressing kisses to the side of your neck, turning you towards them so they can give you kisses, making you sit on their lap, all the good stuff.

jay would insist that you call him daddy in bed. or when you're being bratty in public he'd just stop to whisper in your ear. "you better cut that out right now, or that ass is going to be 50 shades of red when we get home."

jake is definitely the one who would let things slide more easily, he'd let you get away with a lot of stuff.

on the other hand, jake is also the one who would make both of you break the rules on purpose. while jay and jake might dom you, jake would always sub for jay.

jake leans towards the bratty side when he's subbing, so if he feels a little more bratty than usual, he would finger you and eat you out right there on the kitchen counter, just waiting for jay to come home, and when he does, he just knows that jake was the one who coaxed you into this.

"tsk, look at my puppies, couldn't even wait for 10 minutes until I got home, hm? daddy's got to punish you now, you know that don't you?"

and then he's fucking you while jake watches but neither of you are allowed to cum.

your whimpers and jakes whines just make him fuck you harder, and both of you are begging and he let's you cum with a chuckle, knowing that in less than a week he's gonna come back to the same sight.

jake loves pet play. he loves when you dress up all pretty, be it like a puppy, a bunny, a kitten (he prefers calling you puppy but he'd never admit that.)

but when you get on your knees in front of the two of them, all ready to please them, looking up at them with your doe eyes? they completely lose it, and go fucking feral.

this might be cliche, but they love buying you new lingerie and new toys, things like bunny ears or cat ears, and they love ripping it off you. not the ears tho, those stay on.

they also love praising you, mixed in w a little degradation obviously. "our good little whore." "perfect little slut." "look at that, our little painslut likes it when we spank her perfect little pussy like that."

also jake with a spit kink?!?!?! ye ye ye ye, he loves spitting in your mouth, on your pussy before he wants you out and he loves fuckimg his or jay's cum back into you, he thrives off that shit.

jay is more on the less messy side, loves cumming inside you cause breeding kink and there's less to clean after.

the aftercare w these two is elite I have to say, they'll make sure to clean you up so well, wrap you up in one of their hoodies and press kisses to your forehead before tucking you into bed after changing the sheets.

"you were so good for us today, baby, we're so proud of you." jake mumbled against your neck, pressing kisses down your jaw, his hands trailing up your shirt as you whimpered, holding out your hands towards jay's. he chucked softly, motioning for jake to set you on the kitchen counter where both of them had easy access to you. jake continued moving his hands up until he was tweaking and pulling your nipples, your broken moans swallowed by jay's lips as his fingers found your clit, rubbing the sensitive bud in slow, languid motions. "just sit back and relax darling, daddy and jakey are gonna take such good care of you."

[starlightxsvt]

3 dates | c.sc

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 12.4k+ (i have NO idea how this became so long so strap in for a ride)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, self doubt, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

synopsis ➳ after one fateful encounter with him you cannot get him out of your head. so you opt to do some crazy things to catch his attention and even snag a few dates with him. only trouble is he isn't the type to stay after the whole disposition is over.

Swirling the third drink in your hand you heave yet another depressed sigh. You are so tired that you feel like you can just slump on the counter and pass out. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to stop for a drink, you alcohol riddled brain thinks.

The plans you had with Katelyn was cancelled last moment; she called to tell you that her thesis submission date was moved forward and so she couldn't hang out with you tonight. You're in the middle of an existential crisis quite literally, the too many part time jobs yet still lack of money and copious amounts of study getting to you. Staring hard at your drink you contemplate if it is worth giving up on college and your dream of becoming an arts major. It sure feels tempting right now, the long hours at the diner and not enough sleep at night proving to be the worst nuisance.

Sighing you put down your drink. It's still early, you should go home and try to catch up on the much needed sleep. You really had no intention of grabbing a drink tonight; you have morning classes tomorrow but you made a last moment decision to stop for a drink on your way back home. You didn't take your usual route to home today, and while trudging through the streets tiredly you came across this bar called Seventeen's. You've heard stories about this place, how it is the home to local gangs and how it's bad people's turf and what not. Your curiosity, probably too much of that made you get inside for a drink even though all the bones in your body ached. The inside is what you expected, nowhere near fancy but dingy, just decent enough. The people inside didn't look friendly and if the chains and tattoos on them gave any indication you'd say the rumours are true; this is the turf of gangs. The drinks taste decent, not the best but not the worst and from the overall look of this place you don't really have a reason to come back.

You're about to stand up from your stool when a large, clammy hand grabs your wrist out of nowhere, making you jump. "Hey sexy, sit down. Let me buy you a drink," the owner of the hand, a large, tattooed middle aged man slurs making your nose scrunch out of disgust. You're wearing nothing that can be called sexy; a plain cardigan and jeans and the way he looks you up and down makes you want to poke his eyes out.

You really shouldn't have come here. Clenching your jaw, you meet his eyes, "What makes you think I'm interested to have a drink with you?"

"Oh come on, why would you be here then, lookin' all nice? Just sit down," the man drawls, an ugly smile on his face. He still hasn't let go of your wrist and it's making you impatient. Looks like you're gonna have to kick his balls tonight. Maybe the self defense classes didn't completely go to waste.

"Get your disgusting hands off me while I'm being nice, sleazeball," you hiss at him, trying to get his hand off. The man stands up growling, "What did you say you bitch?" You're preparing to break his nose when out of nowhere a punch lands on his face that sends him tumbling to the ground. The attacker gets on top of him and twists his arm and you can literally hear a bone snap.

Shit.

"I think she said she is not interested," the man hisses, landing yet another another hit on his face before kicking his groin and getting up. When he turns around and his eyes meet yours, your heart skips a few beats and you almost The man is drop dead gorgeous, someone you would not expect to see here but probably on the cover of a high end magazine. His blond hair is long, crossing the nape of his neck as well as some covering his forehead. What takes your breath away the most is his eyes, the most beautiful pair you've ever seen. They seem to have their own galaxies in them, so deep and mesmerising and decorated with lashes long enough to make you jealous. His dress up, black jacket and jeans, immediately tells you what he is; a gang member.

"You should get home, lady," He speaks in a no nonsense tone, his face cold as ice. But you're offended. "Excuse me? Who are you calling lady? You make it sound like I'm old." You puff your cheeks and cross your arms, trying to appear intimidating. "Besides I had the situation under control, you didn't need to butt in." The man keeps looking at you with that no nonsense look, his features displaying annoyance if you are right and he's clearly not intimidated. The dude on the floor grunts and makes an effort to get up, only to be kicked by your saviour once more. "Hey Mingyu, get him out of here. What was this piece of trash doing here anyway?" The man orders to someone before turning to look at you, "Do you live far?"

"Uh- no, a ten minutes walk from here maybe," you reply unsurely, surprised at his question. The blond haired man nods before grabbing your wrist, "I'll walk you home. Hurry up, lady." You have a feeling he's purposely calling you that and though you start following him out of the bar, you make grunts of protest.

"Oh yeah, why? Trying to find out my address? So you can come later and hurt me like that guy?" You would not be this brazen if it wasn't for the alcohol in your system, after all the man next you isn't a friendly one if the rumours are true. The man raises a brow at you, "Did you do something that requires me to beat you up?" You hiccup at his serious tone. Does he not get a joke? He lets go of your hand now that you're at a safe distance from the bar but still stays close enough to you as your steps are rather stumbling and messy. You aren't fully drunk but your body is tired and feels like will shut down any second.

You really need some sleep.

"You know I'm not that drunk. You don't have to walk me home." You complain. "I'm walking you home because this isn't a nice place you should be alone at night. What happened earlier could happen again." He says not looking at you. "Mhmm," you keep on trudging behind him, "Thank you so much for your kind gesture, sir." You mock him but he doesn't reply, staring straight ahead, completely ignoring you as he walks quietly. In silence you two walk the rest of the path, before finally stopping as your apartment comes into view. At this point it feels like your bones will break and you will plop down on the concrete any second, but you manage to keep standing. "Well, thanks for walking me home." You shift your weight from one foot to another. "And for helping me back there." He shrugs coolly, a bored expression on his face. He's turning to walk away when you call, "Hey- I didn't get your name."

"What do you need it for?" He side glances at you. You shrug, "I don't know. You helped me so I thought it'd be nice to know your name." "You don't need to. Go inside, lady." He says, his tone final and starts marching away. You wait a couple moments before yelling, "Asshole!" and quickly rushing inside your building, partly afraid he's gonna come back.

You won't be surprised if you get killed tonight.

-

"So you are telling me Choi Seungcheol walked you home?" Katelyn screams in your ear, jolting up from her seat, earning glares from other people at the library in the process. "That's his name?" You whisper-yell, grabbing her hand to pull her back down. "I'm guessing from the blond hair you said," Katelyn shrugs. "Uh huh." You mean back in your chair, "He was hot though."

"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Katelyn whines exasperatedly. "No, I mean, if it wasn't for the way he dresses or talks I would have thought he's a model or something." You murmur.

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" Katelyn questions. "Hell no!" You frown. "He saved me from that creepy old dude. I was surprised too. I wish I didn't drink so much, I could have gotten a better look at his face," you sigh. "Seriously?" Katelyn raises a brow at you.

"Girl, you should have seen him. His aura and the way he carried himself was...so hot." You grin to yourself. Katelyn watches you like you've grown two heads. "Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on that gangster?" You smile sheepishly, "Maybe, I mean it's harmless. He was broody yet charming and I'm a girl so.... Also, it's not like he likes me too and is gonna come running whenever I ask him to bang me." You mutter.

"Oh he's gonna break your bones and bang your skull against a wall. That's what he's gonna do."

"Come on! Maybe he isn't so bad. Maybe the rumours are just rumours. Maybe he just looks intimidating and dresses up like that and people thinks he's a gangster." "Really? His name is on every bad thing that happens around here. From illegal racing to murders. Do you know that people say he has killed too?" "Like I said, rumours," you shrug being your stubborn self. Katelyn holds her hands up in surrender, "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm glad you're alive so let's just put this behind us, shall we?" You don't reply but wiggle your brows at her, a conspirational look on your face. "Oh no, don't look at me like that," Katelyn warns. "Let's go to that bar tonight. Please?" You give her your best puppy eyes. "What are you? Fucking crazy? You wanna get killed?" She whisper-yells, scowling at you. "No. I just wanna take another look at him. Without the alcohol in my system you know. Besides, the place isn't that bad." You reply.

"Well then get killed by yourself. I'm not coming with you."

"I'll help you with your papers for the rest of the semester."

"Shit."

-

"Well, looks like your wish won't be coming true," Katelyn muses chugging down her fourth glass as you keep playing with your first one. It's nearing an hour since you've come to the bar and there has been no sign of the man you desperately seek. The place is exactly like it was the other day, filled with people who you wouldn't want to mess with.

Yet here you are.

"Let's call it a night," Katelyn sighs. "We're just wasting our time." You know that too but you don't want to leave; not just yet. You are well aware that this is just pathetic but you've this crazy urge to see that man once again. You don't know why you feel this way; you never felt like this before. Why are thinking yourself to death about a complete stranger? Has some kind of spell been casted on you?

"Yeah, let's get going," you murmur half heartedly. You help your friend stand up as she's a little wobbly on her feet and together you make your way through the door. "Should we call a cab?" You ask Katelyn. She shakes her head no and you nod, you arms wrapped around hers to support her in case she looses her balance. You start stepping away from the bar and towards the road to her place until a noise from behind makes you stop in your tracks.

"Did you hear that?" You ask, whipping your head behind. There's no one around and the street is mostly dark other than the light flashing from the name of the bar. You hear the sound once again and this time you can locate where it's coming from. There's an abandoned playground at the back of the bar and you've a feeling that's the source.

Katelyn hisses as she sees you step towards there. "What are you doing!"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"Yes I did. That's why I say we leave!" You ignore her and cautiously keep on stepping forward, mentally cursing yourself for wearing heels. Katelyn follows behind you murmuring all kinds of warnings. "You know curiosity killed the cat, right?" She whispers.

You roll your eyes, "Well I'm not a cat. Just- be quiet. It can be nothing." You both move past the bar gingerly and towards the playground at the back. There are old gallons of oil and abandoned materials just around the corner and you two quickly hide among them. It takes you a while to get adjusted to the low light after you poke your head up from the hiding spot.

You're eyes fix on him immediately. His blond hair makes him easily recognisable amid the darkness. There is a few more people around him, all kicking something in the ground. Not something, but someone. The man lying on the ground groans in pain and you realize this is what you both heard. "Shit," You hear Katelyn curse from beside you. "We need to get going." Instead of replying, you keep your eyes trained on the scene unfolding, holding your breath. You're tranced. Seungcheol lands continuous punched on the guy laying below him and after a moment his writhing frame seems to stop moving as it falls limp.

Fuck.

"You know in movies this is the part where people get caught." Katelyn whispers, her voice hoarse and her hand clutching yours in a tugging motion. "Uh-huh. But I can't seem to move. I wonder if he's... really dead." You whisper back. "Are you fucking crazy!" She hisses. "You wanna witness murder?"

Before you can reply you hear a sound that echoes through the empty field and it takes a second for you two to realise that it came from any one of you two. You don't have the time to figure out who made it as you both are crawling away from the playground without looking back, head crouched low to avoid being seen. You don't know if they heard that or if they're coming behind you, you both just keep scrambling, moving until you're past the corner. As soon as possible you both get on your feet and run like the grim reaper is chasing you, stopping only when you are far enough from the bar.

"I am never listening to you again!" Katelyn yells.

-

It's been a good few days since your near death experience and you somehow find yourself in front of that bar once again. You and Katelyn have not brought up that incident after that night. You made yourself believe that it was over and came to a conclusion that it is better to forget that man and leave all of it behind, no matter how much your heart disagreed. But it's easier said than done; you may not mention him out loud but in the back of your mind you think of him. He's like a ghost, haunting you all the time, plagueing your thoughts when you go to bed at night. It felt like he was ever existent and there was an itch in your heart that drove you insane.

Maybe that's why your subconscious brought you here, in front of Seventeen's, once again. You were on your way back home from library and you thought you took your usual route, until you realized you were standing in front of that place. But what is even terrifying is that the man haunting your mind stands in front of the entrance of the bar and you blink a few times to make sure you are not hallucinating. He's leaned against the entrance door, cigarette between his lips and from his pocket he fetches a lighter to light the poison in his mouth.

Damn, lighting up a cigarette never looked this sexy.

He hasn't seen you yet and you contemplate running the other way. That's the sensible thing to do but you, not being a sensible person, start walking towards him. Your footsteps make him look up and notice you and like the last time, there is no expression on his face. It's the same bored yet handsome face except now in daylight you can take a better look at him and this time, you notice a little mole on the left of his face, by his nose. Realising he's gonna stay silent you decide to speak, "Hi... It's me... Do you remember me?" Wow. That's such an intelligent thing to ask.

With the monotoned yet serious expression on his face, he goes, "Why won't I? I don't have Alzheimer's."

So he can joke.

You laugh, an awkward, probably exaggerated laugh. "What are you doing here? Did you not learn your lesson last time?" He cuts to the chase, his voice brassy and deep, almost threatening. You want to roll your eyes. "Who are you to say? I can be wherever I want whenever I want, thank you very much." "Well then, have fun getting in trouble like last time." He's nonchalant as he blows a smoke right past you and stands up straight, turning away. "Wait!" You almost grab his hand, desperate to stop him.

What is wrong with you? Your subconscious slaps her forehead. What are you holding him back for? To say 'hello sir, I think you're hot, can you please put your dick inside me'? Seungcheol turns his head back, his eyebrow cocked up.

Why do you find everything about him so attractive?

"Um...I know your name, Seungcheol." You speak, trying to sound intimidating, like knowing his name gives you some power over him. There's something definitely wrong with you which is why you don't want him to leave just yet and which is why you're stalling time. But it seems to have done the job as he pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and turns towards you, an annoyed look on his face. "How do you know that?" The timbre of his tone is deep and it rakes shivers down your spine. "Well, you've built quite a reputation for yourself so it isn't hard to get your name." You shrug coolly. "Well, if you know so much about my reputation, you should know what I'm capable of." His lone is low, almost threating as he starts to take slow steps towards you making you step back out of reflex.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you will also end up like the curious cat.

"Oh yes, I know. People have got a lot to say about you," you try to sound unfazed, not meeting his eyes that you feel are burning holes on your face. "What are you doing here, lady?" he asks slowly, pausing between each word and glaring at you as he continues to step forward. You can feel his patience thinning.

"I swear to God if you call me that-"

"What are you doing here?" This time his tone is scary, too scary. It makes you lose the ability to speak for a second as his dark gaze bores into you. He has backed you up against the wall behind you and you swallow. Right, what are you doing here? It probably has something to do with a very hot individual and his insanely attractive aura. Scratch that you are a hundred percent sure it has something to do with the blond haired, enticing man in front of you. He's driving you mad and you need to get your fill of him.

"Go out with me," you state and you are sure you've never spoken words more stupid than that. Internally, you cringe and pray that the ground below you would open and take you straight to the fiery pits.

This is the first time you see some sort of expression come across his face; surprise. He looks utterly shocked and somewhat confused. His mouth opens just a little and he squints at you, "What?"

There's no going back now.

"Go out with me. Let's go on three dates." you say once more, looking him in the eye. He seems to appear even more surprised, a dumbstruck look sitting on his face. He observes you quietly for a while and you can feel the gears in his head shifting. You wonder what he's gonna say next. Or maybe he won't say anything but bang your head on the wall and leave you to die alone. "I'm sorry I'm not following," he looks genuinely perplexed. "I want to go on three dates with you. They say after three dates you can figure out whether you like that person or not and I think I like you so..."

I think I like you.

The biggest understatement of the year.

Seungcheol tilts his head, an amused expression on his face as he studies you, those sharp eyes of his settling on yours, "What is your deal, sweetheart?" He crosses his arms, a brow raised. Sweetheart? That's new. And definitely better than lady. You can't deny how hearing him call you that makes your insides melt. "Nothing. I just want to date you," you shrug, trying to keep your wits together. His proximity is driving you wild; you can sniff a faint smell of cologne and cigarette, him being inches away from you. This time he laughs loudly, a mocking laugh you'd say. "Who sent you?"

Oh my god.

You roll your eyes. "Nobody sent me! Do I look like I'm a gang member or something?" "Then I don't see a reason why you'd want to date me," He states, throwing a challenging look at you.

"What if I said I have a thing for bad boys?"

He snorts. "You don't look the type to date bad boys," he mocks. "Who are you to say that?" You cross your arms. "I want to date you because I think you're hot, okay?" You can not believe you just said that. Looks like you don't have control over your mouth anymore. Warmth spreads throughout your face like a forest fire.

Seungcheol narrows his eyes on you, his tongue poking his cheek as he stands in front of you as if trying to read your mind. After a beat he sighs before looking at you, his eyes becoming darker than usual and his gaze unforgiving. "Hey. Does it look like I'm playing house here? Do you have any idea about the shit I do? The dirty work I do? I don't care if you have a fucking fetish or whatever but this is the last time I'm warning you. I don't want to see you around again. If I see you here once more, you're in fucking trouble," he spits and starts stomping away. His tone is serious and you know very well he is not joking, which is why you use your last resort. You're embarrassed at yourself for being so desperate but at the same time you feel shameless. It has almost turned into a game at this point, you want to make him surrender. That's right, you want him to give in. "You shouldn't be like that with me. I saw you, a few days ago. That night, when you and your friends were beating up that guy...in the playground," you casually stroll to come stand right behind him.

You can't believe you are blackmailing a gangster. Your death must be near.

Seungcheol whips his head back, his eyes glaring at you and you can almost see fire in them. Finally, you got his attention.

"My friend also saw it, we both did. You killed him, didn't you? Me and my friend witnessed a murder. What do you say? Should we go to the station?" You can see his jaw clench and you can't hold back a victorious smirk. Moments pass by as your words hang in the air and the tension between you gets thicker. Yet once more he surprises you, breaking the silence with a chuckle, "Well I killed one person, what makes you think I can't take care of another?"

You swallow.

"Well, my friend already knows so if I go missing you can be sure that the cops will come to you first." You throw back at him.

When did you get so wreckless?

Seungcheol stares at you for a few more seconds before shrugging and moving his hand dismissively, "Well then go tell the cops. I don't give a shit." He starts walking back to the bar leaving you starstruck. He stops and turns towards you before opening the door, "Also, I meant it. I hope I don't see you around. Otherwise I may just have to hurt that pretty face."

-

You don't show up after that.

Mostly because you are embarasssed.

It's been a good while after your last encounter with Seungcheol and you didn't go to the police, obviously. Because you don't have evidence and from what you've heard Seungcheol is pretty influential around here and you don't need to go to an extent to get on his bad side. You're definitely gonna end up dead if you do so, which you don't want just yet.

Classes have just finished and you and Katelyn step out of the classroom together, walking through the hallways and into the main campus. She rambles on about some bad sushi she ate yesterday while your mind remains preoccupied. Maybe you need to get laid. Maybe that'll make you forget about Seungcheol. You just need good dick that's probably why you were so desperate for him.

That's just a stupid lie.

You don't realise Katelyn is calling you until she shakes you by the shoulder and you snap back into reality. You notice her face is as pale as a ghost and following her line of sight your eyes stop on him.

Him. Seungcheol.

What?

You double take, blinking furiously to confirm your vision. He's standing there, in the parking area of your uni, leaned against a convertible Ferrari, a cigarette between his lips. He looks relaxed, like he does this regularly. Students whisper in each others ear while gawking at him curiously. "What did you do!" Katelyn yells. "Nothing!" You hiss back.

"Then why is he here!"

"I don't know!"

Your eyes meet with Seungcheol's and a smirk spreads across his face making you shiver. He stands up straight and tilts his head, an indication for you to come closer to him. "Fuck, he's here for me," you mumble. "Of course he's here for you, dumbass," Katelyn snaps. "Well, if I don't return, you know who killed me." You sigh starting to walk towards him. "Wait- you're going with him?" She asks incredulously.

"Don't worry. I'll keep my phone on. I don't think he's gonna murder me, I mean there are so many witnesses." You inhale deeply, leaving behind a lost looking Katelyn.

Seungcheol says nothing as you stand right in front of him raising an inquisitive brow but he only holds open the door for you to get in. Deciding to follow him you enter the car quietly and a wave of gasps go through the crowd.

There's gonna be talk about this tomorrow.

Seungcheol, still smirking victoriously for some reason rounds the car and gets inside and within seconds you're hitting the road. There's a thick silence for a while, which feels like ages to you. You're overwhelmed, bewildered to say anything; your poor brain still processing what is happening. You're nervous, jittery as you fiddle with you bag and look out on your side, for some reason scared to look at him.

What if he really kills you? He wouldn't, right?

"You're awfully quiet," Seungcheol says matter of factly as he spares you a glance while driving.

"I'm... processing."

"What are you, a robot?"

"Why are you doing this?" You question instead.

"Doing what?"

"Okay, you know very well what I mean. Why are you picking me up from uni all of a sudden? How do you even know I'm a student there?" "I have resources and...you didn't protest at all. You came along nicely," Seungcheol raised a brow at you, a cocky smile on his lips. You don't answer but continue to stare at him, trying to pin him down with your gaze. He finally sighs and pulls the car to a stop by the side of the road, the sudden brake making you slightly jerk in your seat. "I've decided to give you those 3 dates. That's why," He is calm, unreadable and you wonder if this is a prank. Then again, he has no reason to prank you, does he? "Really?" Your voice comes out breathy. "Yes. I thought I'd give you a taste of how it feels to be with someone like me. I can scare people without physically hurting them you know," He says in a menacing tone.

"So what? You're taking me to an underground fight or something?" You question. "Nah, we're keeping it simple today." He smirks as he starts the car again and turns on the radio, an indication that he doesn't want to converse anymore.

Shamelessly you take a good look at Seungcheol; he's dressed in another jacket today paired with a black tee underneath. Today, you notice he has upped his accessory game, his fingers full of rings and chains dangling from his neck. But what catches your attention is a tattoo, something like a dragon and words written in a language you don't understand, peeking from underneath his sleeve. You almost ask about it but decide it'll probably be too much and he wouldn't answer you anyway.

As you do so, in the back of your mind you think you should have dressed better, something cuter, more appropriate for a date rather than a plain blouse and jeans. But then again who knew Choi Seungcheol was gonna show up out of the blue. You're gnawing at your lower lip, lost in your thoughts when the car is pulled to a halt and you realize your ride is over. You're parked in front of a diner called Lacy's and from the vibe that the place is giving, you can tell that this is place where people like him hang out. You raise a questioning brow at Seungcheol who says, "I know it doesn't look fancy but trust me I has some of the best food I've ever eaten." Taking his words for now you quickly type out a text to Katelyn letting her know you're in one piece and get out of the car.

Once you're seated you look around the place which is relatively empty except some men playing pool at the far end. You watch Seungcheol who has gone to the reception booth to place your orders; his posture relaxed as he leans against the counter and talks to the girl standing there. They seem to know each other because their chat takes longer than it should and the girl has a shy, almost flirty smile on her face.

He probably fucks her.

You shake the thought off your head as the gangster comes back and sits in front of you. There's silence for a second as you wonder if you should just ask the questions that run free around your mind. "Are the rumours true?" You blurt out. He's raises a brow.

"About you. You know..."

"Do you want them to be true?" He asks back. "I don't...know," you reply. "Well, I think it depends on each person. If you want it to be true it is true, if you don't it isn't," he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "Why don't you just give me a straight answer?" you snap. He smirks as if he's having fun but doesn't reply, watching you with his arms crossed. You roll your your eyes, blowing out an exasperated breath. "You know, I haven't seen one like you. Willingly hanging out with dangerous people, going to dangerous places. You say you saw me kill someone yet you're here. You're almost desperate to get in trouble," he observes. "I'm not desperate to get in trouble. I just...I'm just- attracted to you alright?" This is so embarrassing. You need to shut your mouth. "You've been on my mind ever since that night. I wanna see exactly how deep I'm into you." You bite your lip.

That's enough. You will boost his ego through the roof like this.

Seungcheol studies you for a bit before grinning cockily, "Well, if you didn't know, I am trouble baby. Just you being with me might end you up in a mess." Before you can reply, your food is served, that same girl from the booth setting down your plates and looking at Seungcheol for a bit too long with that same stupid smile which he returns. You don't know why but you feel jealous, jealous of whatever these two share, whatever she has with him.

You've lost your mind at this point. You're on a high that is Seungcheol. He has made you forget your morals, made you completely lose your mind. Or maybe you've been too good all your life and seeing him brought out that crazy, thrill seeking part of yourself.

Silently you dig into your food and as Seungcheol said, the food is really good. This is one of the best meatloaf you've ever had and you can't help but moan. Seungcheol watches you with an amused smile before popping a fry in his mouth.

"What's your major?" Seungcheol asks out of the blue.

"Uh- sociology."

"Mmhmm."

You're about to ask him what he studied in college but you assume he probably never went to one so you seal your lips. You wonder what his background is and who his parents are but you don't want to get too personal on the first day. So you ask something else, "How old are you?" He laughs out loud before he deadpans, "Thirty five." "What!" You almost choke.

There's no way he's-

"Why? What did you expect?"

"I... I don't know! A few years older than me? You're kidding right? You don't look thirty five." He has to be bluffing. "And how old would you be?" "You shouldn't ask a woman her age," you try to make a point. "Don't you have any manners?" He smirks,"I don't, sweetheart. To answer your question, I'm twenty eight."

Uh huh.

"Well, I'm twenty one," you mutter under your breath. You don't know if he hears it because he doesn't give any reaction, busy twirling a fry in sauce. The rest of your meal is full of silence as you wonder if your date will end like this; dry and boring. He's awfully silent and seems to be lost in thoughts as he doesn't engage in a conversation. You're about to take your last bite when the silence is broken by him.

"What did you see that night?" He leans over, his elbows resting on the table as he suddenly regards you with a sombre look, his earlier cockiness vanished. His eyes have once again gone dark and his demeanor says he's not being superficial right now. You're caught off guard as you cough loudly, reaching for your glass to take a sip of water. "What?"

"You heard me. What did you see that night? Exactly how much did you see?" He repeats. You're confused. You thought he didn't care about it. He said it didn't matter. So why is he bringing it up now? You've worked hard to push that night in the deepest part of your brain, pretending it didn't happen.

And then suddenly it clicks.

"You!" You point an accusatory finger at him as you catch on to his plan. "You've agreed to go out with me so that you can find out what I saw that night!" Seungcheol groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, just fucking tell me!" He snaps, annoyed that you've found out his little scheme. You scoff, "I thought you said you didn't care? Besides it's not like I'm going to tell the police." He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. "Just tell me and let me go."

You're baffled. His actions didn't make any sense and you actually thought he had no other intentions behind dating you but holy shit this sneaky bastard. "You sly little asshole!" You hiss at him. "Call me that once more and you'll regret it." He threatens. You roll your eyes sagging back into your seat, "Whatever." Then an idea hits you. "You know what, I'll tell you exactly how much I saw that night." You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he stares intensely at you, waiting for your next words. "On our third date. When this whole deal is over, I'll tell you. But in return you'll have to keep your promise and take me out on two more dates."

"Oh fucking hell," he groans rubbing his face in frustration. His state makes you smirk and you feel accomplished.

Choi Seungcheol is stressed because of you.

What a day to be alive.

You murmur, "Besides this isn't even a proper date. This was more like an interrogation. But I'll go easy on you and won't make you redo this date." You give him a sweet smile and he sees red. You can literally see fury blaze in his eyes. "Whatever!" He yells and abruptly stands up. "I don't have time for this. Your stupid play date is over. I'm dropping you home."

Before you can reply, he's marching towards the door. You've to admit this wasn't the best date but at least you've trapped Choi Seungcheol.

-

It has been a good week after your so called date at the diner and you haven't heard from him. You expected him to call or text you since he was gracious enough to ask for your number but he didn't. You now realize it was a mistake to not get his number; you had asked him for his when he took yours but being the prick he is he denied to hand over his number to you. You should have forced him to, you sigh. As you sit in the library the ping of your mobile distracts you from your racing thoughts as you realize you have a message. Picking the device up you tap on the notification. Even though it was from an unknown number, you have no trouble figuring out who it is from. A smile graces your lips as you read the words over again.

I'll pick you up from your house tomorrow evening at six.

That's all it says and that is good enough to send a thrum of excitement throughout your body.

-

You have not held back in dressing up today and you realize it's been a long time since you've dolled up yourself. A long before the clock strikes 6 you are ready; dressed in a cute pastel top and a matching skirt. You've also went ahead and applied makeup, not too much but just enough to maybe catch his eye. Maybe.

You wonder what he has planned for today.

A text from Seungcheol saying he's here has you flying out of your apartment as fast as your feet can carry your desperate self to see him. He stands in front of your apartment with his convertible, dressed in a white jacket that matched his pants. You take a deep breath before walking towards him, trying to calm all your nerves down.

"You know I expected to hear from you earlier. I've been waiting all week," you voice makes his head turn around to meet your eyes as you are skipping towards him with a teasing smile in your face. "I've been busy," he shrugs coolly, his eyes going over your whole body, from your legs to your face. He doesn't hide that he's taking a good look at you, in fact does it unashamedly.

You wonder if he likes what he sees.

Someone dressed up today," he comments. "Too bad we aren't going to a place where you can show off your pretty clothes." You frown, "Where are we going?" Seungcheol holds open the door, a mischievous smile on his face. "I've decided to grant your wish." With a confused face you get inside the car, the gears in your head running. What does he mean?

"I'm taking you to an underground fighting ring," he says with smirk as he reaches for something behind his seat. He pulls out a large hoodie and tosses it towards you, "Put this on. Otherwise you are going to attract a lot of attention and you don't want that." You gulp, taking the hoodie and putting it on you. You're slightly embarrassed. You were so excited to try this outfit but it's not like you knew he was taking you to a fight club. Hell you would have dressed like a guy if you knew. You shrug on the hoodie and it falls almost to your knees but it's huge and comfy and most importantly it smells like him. There's a hint of cologne, nothing too strong; a subtle, expensive scent that makes you want to take a deeper sniff. You wonder if you can keep this with you.

Stop it, pervert.

Seungcheol's voice pulls you out of your haze, "You can take it off later. Just wear it until we're out of there," he says and brings the engine to life.

Then you actually think about it. Underground fighting ring? Holy shit. You were only kidding when you mentioned it. Admittedly, you're shocked, somewhat horrified. Everyone knows it isn't the best place to be at especially for someone like you who never had such an experience. Seungcheol must have seen your expression because the smile on his face gets bigger, "Why? You not up for it?" His voice is teasing.

He's challenging you.

Oh well.

"Of course I'm up for it," you square your shoulders, keeping your voice cool. "Bring it on."

-

Seungcheol leads you into a bar and then through a door at the back that leads down to a lot of stairs, reaching a place similar to an underground parking lot. Quietly you follow Seungcheol, staying as close to him as possible, your bodies occasionally touching. He leads you to a pair of double doors and from the other side you can hear men shouting and chanting.

This is it, I guess.

Seungcheol throws one more smile at you before pushing open the doors as you scramble to follow him closely. The sight that greets you something you only see in movies. There's a boxing ring where two people are throwing punches at each other and surrounding them from all sides is a wild, loud and excited crowd. They continue to cheer loudly as the two men in the ring continue to box and you hear their grunts and groans.

Holy shit.

Swallowing your eyes meet Seungcheol's who is regarding you with curiosity. "What do you think?" He has to speak loudly for you to hear over the screaming throng. "Uh... It's loud," you say dumbly as you try to think of a reply. But it's too loud for you to even think properly as you take in your unfamiliar surroundings. You see a tall man approaching towards you and out of reflex you shuffle closer to Seungcheol until you realize it's his friend. The guy from the first night. He and Seungcheol grin at each other, patting their backs as they talk close to each others ears. You gawk at them curiously and realize they must be talking about you because his friend takes curious glances at you occasionally. His friend is tall, really tall and well built but unlike his body his face is sweet and puppy like, almost cute. When he grins his canines pop up just like a puppy and you wonder if all his friends are good looking.

After he's done chatting with his friend Seungcheol pulls you close and says, "This is my friend. Mingyu. Always stay near him, you hear me? Don't stray away unless you wanna get hurt." His eyes are stern as he pins you down with his stare but you have other thoughts running in your head.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" You yell over the noise.

He just smirks at you and starts taking his jacket off. "About time you see how we do it around here." His tone is cocky as he hands his jacket to you, "Hold this for me. And stay close to him."

Giving a look at Mingyu Seungcheol starts walking away towards a door that you're guessing is the changing room.

He's gonna fight.

"Wait- but-" Mingyu stops you with a hand on your shoulder and offers you a kind smile. "It's fine. Just stay with me." He then ushers you towards the crowd, spotting a place where you can get a good look at the ring. "Do you guys do this often?" You look up at Mingyu. He smiles sheepishly, "Not me. I tried a few times and I always end up beaten to a pulp. But hyung does this often, he's really good."

"Uh huh, I'm sure he is," you smile dryly. "This is your first time watching a fight, no?" "Definitely." He grins, "Watch carefully then. It's really fun."

You have your doubts on how watching people beat each other up can be fun but you don't comment anything, instead chew on your lip anxiously. Seungcheol really didn't have to go this far? What if he gets hurt badly? Is he trying to impress you?

Don't flatter yourself, your subconscious rolls her eyes.

As the loud cheering that had died down ensues again, your train of thoughts are halted as you see Seungcheol in shorts and his hands covered in boxing gloves, step into the ring. You can't help but ogle at his naked torso, his finely defined and chiseled muscles. He has the perfect body, not too bulky, not too lean just the right amount that gives you a hard time taking your eyes off him. He seems to have noticed your gaze because the second your eyes meet, he throws a haughty, knowing smirk at you. Embarrassed you avert your gaze elsewhere.

His opponent is a muscular man who's growling and banging his chest with his fists, a gesture of intimidation, you suppose. You are definitely intimidated and you wonder if Seungcheol can actually win against him.

The fight starts with a whistle and in mere seconds they are on to each other, throwing punches left and right. Your eyes have a hard time keeping up with them and their fast reflexes and your hands fly to your mouth as a punch lands on Seungcheol's face, followed by repeated blows as Seungcheol falls back. There's a moment of silence as he wipes his bottom lip and you realize there's a cut.

He tilts his neck, popping the bones and glaring at the other man before launching himself on top of his opponent. The next moments are a blurry mess, Seungcheol beating the guy repeatedly until he ends up on the floor but he doesn't stop there. Seungcheol ends it with a sharp jab to his spine and you have no doubt the other man has broken bones with the ways he howls in pain. The match comes to an end like that as the people cheer wildly while Seungcheol steps down from the stage. Mingyu grins at you happily as if what you witnessed was just a regular occurrence, something you should be cheerful about. Shaking your head at the situation, you let out a deflated sigh.

Their life is really so different than yours.

-

Seungcheol seems to be in a very good mood after the fight as he buys you both some sandwiches and drinks from a deli after you both step out of the bar. You both sit down at a park nearby to eat and watch the night sky. "You know, I thought you were gonna lose," you speak after taking a few bites of the sandwich. Seungcheol scoffs, "You underestimate me, sweetheart. I've been doing this for a long time."

"Do you enjoy it?" You ask quietly, focused on peeling the wrapper from your food. You feel Seungcheol's stare on you. "Yes. Why? Are you scared already?"

"No. I was just... curious. Your definition and my definition of fun is totally different." You murmur. "Of course. What did you think? I go to the mall and shop and watch movies with my friends when I'm bored?" His tone is sarcastic. You bite your lip. "No I didn't. It's just...I feels different now that I have experienced it first hand." Seungcheol offers nothing more, taking a sip of his coke and leaning back into the bench. A silence stretches between the both of except the rustling of the wrapper of your food. "How long have you been doing this?" You blurt out. He frowns at you and you don't expect him to answer but he surprises you.

"For a long time."

He doesn't offer anymore and you don't have the heart to prod him for an actual answer. "And how long do you plan on doing this?"

"What?"

"I mean... don't you have any other plans. Like...do you wanna keep doing what you are doing for the rest of your life? Don't you wanna like... settle down maybe?" Your voice is soft as if you are talking to a child. Seungcheol looks annoyed. He doesn't speak for a while as he stares at the ground, a frown etched to his face. You're about to take back your question when he replies, "I really don't think you understand. I've been trying to tell you that my life is completely disparate to yours. So I don't think like you. I don't have plans like you but neither am I expected to follow a certain pattern like you. I can do whatever the fuck I want, ___. So don't look at me like you pity me. I'm the last person here that should be pitied. " His tone is sharp and it makes you feel bad, like a sensation of needles pricking your heart. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry," You whisper, feeling timid as you look down at your lap. He mutters, "Don't go poking your nose in other people's business. Specially people like me."

He's right. You shouldn't have asked that. You are not close enough to ask things like that. After that there is a silence, this time, an awkward one. There's palpable tension in the air and you feel jittery. Should you just ask him to take you home?

It's still early and truth be told, you don't want to leave him just yet. You only have one more date to go and judging by his reaction, he is in no way interested in a relationship. You heave out a long sigh. You knew very well what you were getting into, yet you couldn't stop yourself. Seungcheol is like a poison, the sweetest one, the one that has you addicted and unable to let go, no matter how much it hurts.

This is a fucking mess.

"Let's get going. I have plans," Seungcheol announces, standing up. You want to protest but you feel like you have ruined the mood, so you follow him mutely to his car.

The drive to your house is awfully quiet, to the point you want to scream out of frustration. Seungcheol seems to be lost in his head as he makes no move to talk. It's like you are alone, but you're not and it's worse, the air full of tension. Soon you have reached your house and he stops the car but keeps the engine rolling, indicating his rush. He keeps still and stares ahead while gripping the steering wheel as you step out of the car in silence. "Thanks for dropping me home," you say lamely, your voice meek. You turn around to walk away but his voice stops you in your tracks.

"I promised you three dates and I will keep my word. I expect you to keep yours, ___. I hope you will tell me what I want to hear when we meet next time." His tone is sharp with an edge of threat and you barely get to nod before he drives away.

It's not until you're inside your apartment that you realize you still have his hoodie on. Quickly fishing out your phone you type out a text.

I'm sorry, I forgot to return your hoodie.

After a while, his reply comes.

Keep it.

-

You watch Katelyn as she fills her lunch tray with food before walking over and taking a seat opposite to you. She looks extra radiant today, which probably has something to do with the way she's dressed; a bright colourful outfit which undoubtedly she put a lot of time into considering. She has a date, with a guy she has been talking to for the last few weeks. It reminds you of your pitiful situation and you sigh, trying to shrug off those thoughts.

It has been a good couple weeks since you last saw Seungcheol and you have not exchanged a word after that night. In the back of your mind you wonder if he is even alive. You want to message him, you really want to because you are going crazy but after how your last date ended, you can't bring yourself to. You are scared, exactly of what, you can't put your finger into.

The entire situation you have put yourself into is fucking scary. They say you become sure of your feelings after three dates but it did not take that much for you. You already are very certain about your feelings for him and how deep they run exactly and you also know that in the end you will be left scarred. He would never be yours. He has probably forgotten about you or decided that it is not worth another date to figure out what you saw that night.

You let a desperate, pitiable sigh.

"I know you are hiding things from me but I understand that you are not ready to talk yet. But I want you to know I am here for you okay?" Katelyn's voice makes you blink your way out of your thoughts. She squeezes your hand tightly and gives you a reassuring smile and you're left feeling guilty.

"I ...I will tell you. Soon. Just give me a bit more time," you whisper. She nods in understanding. A grateful smile touches your lips as her words make you emotional. Then there's a ping from your phone letting you know there's a message. Without giving it much thought you open the device and your eyes go wide.

I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow night. Wear something formal.

-

You wait outside your apartment for Seungcheol. Your day has passed by in a flurry of excitement and nerves as you carefully picked your outfit and did your hair and makeup. A soft baby pink dress that stopped just above you knees adorns you as your hair rests just above your neck in a loose bun.

You are fiddling with your fingers as you think about how this night is gonna end and wether you will ever see him again when a car screech that grabs your attention.

Seungcheol's convertible has taken a stop in front of you and you see the man getting out the vehicle and take big steps towards you.

You're mesmerized.

Perhaps there is not enough word in this world to describe his looks or perhaps you've simple lost the ability to speak; either way, you just stand and stare, drinking the godly man that stands in front of you. He looks delectable, completely flawless and agonizingly gorgeous in his sharp black suit and pants, with a silk black shirt underneath, the top couple buttons undone that reveals a beautiful porcelain skin. His hairstyle completes the look, parted to one side in a sleek way and showing his forehead and oh god is it sexy. You realize you have a forehead kink, if there is anything as such.

If you weren't in love with him before you are now.

He looks ravishing, and you wonder why it isn't illegal to look this good. It should be because you have completely lost control over yourself. Nothing exists in your world except for him and you feel paralyzed, unable to do anything but drink him in. You wonder if you are even worthy to stand beside him.

"____?" Seungcheol calls you, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes. He must have been calling you while you were eye fucking him. "Oh! Um, hi." You're flustered. "You- you look really, really nice." It isn't enough but it's what you can get past your lips. A knowing smirk kisses his lips before he teases, "Well, you look really, really nice too." Motioning you to his car he says, "Shall we? We'll be late for our reservation."

"Yeah, of course," you say, hurrying over to his car, embarasssed at your foolery. Seungcheol must have noticed you ogling him like that. But you don't really care when he looks like that. It is his fault for looking so devilishly handsome and idly you wonder if he did that on purpose. If he's deliberately teasing with, trying to make you the most miserable before letting you go with a slap of reality to your face. Pushing away those plagueing thoughts, you sit up straight and clear your throat as Seungcheol comes to sit beside you and brings the engine to life.

A decently long and quiet (except for the music from the radio) but not quite uncomfortable car ride later, Seungcheol stops in front of a really fancy and expensive looking restaurant just by the sea. You did not except him to take you to a high end restaurant, otherwise you would have put some more effort in your looks.

Feeling slightly out of place you quietly follow Seungcheol into the beautiful European styled building after he hands his keys to a valet. The interior is dripping with polished furnitures and extravagant chandeliers and marble floors as guests dressed elegantly have their dinner. As you look around the place in awe Seungcheol talks to the receptionist who then guides you towards a staircase that leads to a pair of large double doors decorated with gold which then, opens to a large balcony. In the middle of it sits a table with two chairs and an unceremonious gasp escapes your mouth as you realize this is where you will be having dinner.

The man from earlier takes his leave as Seungcheol helps you sit down before taking a seat for himself while you take in everything, overwhelmed with all your surroundings. Why did he put so much effort for a lousy and fake date?

"What do you think?" He asks with a smirk as he rests one of his elbows on the table.

"I'm overwhelmed," you reply quietly, honestly. He chuckles, "Well this place has really good food and a fantastic view so I thought it wouldn't bad for our last date."

Last date.

"It's really beautiful. I don't know why you did this but thank you, really," you murmur, eyes on the satin table cloth with intricate golden lining. Everything about this place is so pretty.

"Well, I decided it would be beneficial for me to extract words from you if you are wooed," his words have a teasing tone to it and his demeanor is completely different from last time, giving you a whiplash but you are not sure if he's fully joking. Before you can say that you are definitely wooed, a waiter appears to take your order and you leave the duty of ordering to Seungcheol since he seems to frequent this place. Prior to his leave, the waiter pours you Seungcheol's champagne of choice and then, you two are alone once more.

Reaching for the flute, you quickly gulp down the champagne to soothe your dry throat and to calm all your nerves.

Over dinner you talk about your uni and your parents back home and the farm they own. While Seungcheol mostly keeps quiet he doesn't ignore you but listens carefully, occasionally passing glances your way or commenting. He does not offer anything about him, which you expected and you don't ask any questions about him either. Instead you try your best to keep his interest in your words despite the lack of it from his side.

After a hearty meal of poached lobsters and wagyu beefs and creamy soups comes dessert; a chocolate orange mousse with spiced fruits and yogurt sorbet. You start eating your dessert in silence, the occasional crashing of waves filling the complete lack of sounds.

This location is truly magnificent and breathtaking, almost having a feel like you're in a fancy resort in a luxurious tropical island. It is undoubtedly the most beautiful place you have ever been, let alone have dinner at and you wonder if you would ever have the chance to visit some place like this had you not met Seungcheol. The man in question, continues eating quietly, seemingly lost in his thoughts. He looks lovely as always, if not more and you try to burn this image in your mind for you to look back at later. You want to ask him so many question, you want to tell him so many things but you're scared. Sacred if you do so this moment will break, scared it will annoy him and end your final date all too early. So you bite your tongue and finish your food as he does and after your plates are cleared away, you are served another expensive champagne as an end to your luxurious dinner.

Even though Seungcheol doesn't say anything, you assume it is time to spill the beans, to say what he has been wanting to hear from the beginning. You have teased him enough and it is time you give him what he deserves. Taking a deep breath, you open your mouth. "Me and Katelyn heard noises from the playground that night so we decided to check. It was pretty dark and we were tipsy but I recognized you and you were... beating someone up. We stayed there and watched until one of us accidentally made some noise. We were scared that you heard us so we ran. That's all that happened."

You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he listens cautiously, his sharp eyes trained on you. Gulping, you clench your hands together underneath the table, waiting for his reaction. There seems to be an eternity of silence as Seungcheol simply stares at you as if he's debating whether your words are true or not. It's torturous, awfully agonizing and when you can't bear it anymore you're about to speak but he beats you to it.

"I didn't kill him." His voice is quiet. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Somewhere in the back of your mind you believed it, you believed he wouldn't be cruel enough to kill someone just like that and as soon as he speaks those words you believe him, without a doubt, without a second of delay.

"I believe you." You whisper, holding his gaze. "That asshole deserved what he got. He shouldn't even be alive but I let him go. He's in a hospital now, if you are wondering." You nod quietly. It's scary how much you believe him, how much you trust him even though he is pretty much a stranger.

There's a moment of silence as you bask in his presence before he speaks, "____, men like me, we aren't the nicest people. But we are needed, the cops need us around. People like me do the dirty works for people like you so y'all don't face troubles. We do things in an unconventional way but that's just who we are. We aren't as bad as the rumours say but we definitely aren't someone you should be with." You open your mouth to protest but his sharp gaze makes you stop. "If you have not understood it yet, let me say it out loud. I am trouble. People like me is always bad news. Whatever we did until now, I hope you forget. That's the best, ____ trust me. I think we both got what we wanted so let's call it a night." Just like that, he stands up, not waiting for your reply.

You gawk at him, baffled as he pays the bill and starts walking away. Tears burn the back of your eyes and you bite your lip to hold them back. The ending that you had expected has taken place but you are having a hard time accepting it. Your subconscious reminds you that you deliberately got yourself into this even though you saw this coming. So there is no one to blame for it but you. Grabbing your purse, you stomp your way out of the restaurant and towards Seungcheol's car.

Seungcheol barely acknowledges you as you both get in the car and he presses the key to the ignition. You are fuming in your seat, his words and the way he dismissed you cutting you deep. His words come to you, I think we both got what we wanted. You want to laugh. How can he possibly think that? Is he really so stupid or is he deliberately ignoring your interest in him? You want to smack his perfect face, curse and scream at him but all you can do is sit still with your arms crossed as steam comes out of your head. Is he really not curious about your feelings? Does he possess none for you? Does these few days with you mean nothing to him? You have so many unanswered questions. Leaning back into your seat, you close your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

It feels like in the blink of an eye the drive to your place is over as Seungcheol halts his car in front of your apartment. He does not utter a single word, doesn't even spare a glance at you while patiently waiting for you to get out of the car.

Asshole.

You inhale deeply, trying your best to gather yourself together as you take off your seatbelt and turn towards him.

"Seungcheol?" Few seconds pass before he looks at you. Words are stuck in your throat. When your eyes meet his, you become mute, overwhelmed with emotions as your words die in your tongue. He keeps staring at you, not opening his mouth but waiting for you to speak. "Is this goodbye?" Your voice breaks.

"I believe we don't have any reason to see each other. We both got what we wanted," He says without batting an eye. You're left bemused, one step away from landing a slap on his face. How dare he say that?

"Do you really believe that?" Your words come out as an accusation. "I wanted to go out with you because I thought I have feelings for you! And I do! And my feelings have only increased since I first saw you. I want to see you again, Seungcheol. You may have gotten what you wanted but I didn't." Your fades into a whisper as tears burn the back of your eyes.

Seungcheol stays quiet, staring ahead, his brows knitted as if he's annoyed. "I promised you three dates, ____. And I gave you that. It's over. Your feelings? You'll get over them. It's better to be in pain for a while that be with someone like me."

"You can't say that! I get to decide for myself!"

"____," he sighs, rubbing his temples. "I'm a bad man. You should leave while you still have a good image of me. You'll get hurt because of me and I've caused enough pain to enough people. Just...go. Just forget me." You stare at him as frustrated tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn't meet your gaze but turns his head the other way. You are angry, infuriated and heart broken all at a time. Clenching your fists you inhale a shaky breath before reaching for him.

Before you can chicken out, you tilt his face towards you and quickly press your lips against his. Seungcheol seems to be shocked as a small gasp leaves his mouth but you don't let him push you away. Instead one of your hands come to rest on his thigh as he other cups his face to keep his mouth against yours. You kiss him with all you have left, pouring in every bit of passion and love for him as your tongues intertwine. By the time you are both breathless, Seungcheol gently pushes you back and peers into your eyes. "That's all I can give you, ____." He says, his voice the softest you have heard. You are broken into a million pieces and as much as your heart wants to cling to him, you suddenly feel tired, deflated like a popped balloon. Your emotions have drained you out and left nothing and right now, breathing almost seems too painful for you. Taciturnly, you grab your purse and step out the convertible. You hear another door shut behind you but you don't look back as your heavy steps carry you to the entrance of your building. When you are about to enter your apartment, you accumulate all your strength and courage to spare one final glance at him.

Turning around you see Seungcheol standing by his car, hands in his pockets, simply watching you. Even though your eyes are locked on each other, you don't see any emotion in them. He looks like the same expressionless, mysterious man you saw the first day. The man you fell in love with. Taking in his gorgeous features one last time, you bite your lip and turn away, forcing yourself to walk inside your apartment building.

Your chapter with Seungcheol ends here.

Epilogue

A/N : Okay so idk why this fucking app is being like this but it says I reached the maximum of 250 blocks but I thought tum1r didn't have a word limit?? Anyway so I've decided to break it up and put the rest of the fic in another post. Please click epilogue to read that.

Taglist: @koo-18 @shiningstar-byulxx @pcisonedhaos @happyvitamin @yoongischeeksluv @haluim17 @nayam14 @horanghae-gumanhae @cottonsthings @hotcheetosnorter99 @peekabooseoksoon @acapellaanna @amixoferrthang

[frogchiro]

random relationship hc's with hanma

can honestly be read as both romantic relationship or just general interactions with him lol, just some of my favorite personal headcanons about our resident zombie boyo ^^

warnings: none really? just a bit suggestive in some points, hanma being a bit of a creep and a meanace to society, gn reader, possible terrible grammar, 16+!

🧡first of all we have to get things straight, we all know that Hanma does have some creepy and questionable tendencies, hell, even Draken calls him zombie

🧡that being said, whether you're in a relationship with him or just friends be ready for a lot of pda, like, a shitton

🧡personally I hc him to be extremely touchy but not in the 'traditional' sense you'd expect, no no, he does it (at least tries to) to literally everyone to make them uncomfortable as hell, at least until someone chases him off lol

🧡and if you're hanma's target/s/o then better be prepared bc you'll have to pry that boy off of you with a crowbar, it's just constant hanging on your back and whining into your ear that he wants attentiooon (y/n)~

🧡but let's get to the real thing shall we? as mentioned above, hanma loves physicall contact, it's his most prominent form of love language actually! the chances of him saying 'i love you' are really slim, like you have to really catch his attention and keep it on yourself for long enough for him to get invested, and even then don't be put off by his lack of verbal love affirmations! he loves you, he really does! it's just that his love language is touch <3

🧡be prepared to always have his long ass stickbug arms around you, he often sneaks up to you from behind and traps you with your back against his chest, not to mention that his hands are the real devils. they're big but very skinny with slim finger and they're always fucking cold so bet that he'll make sure to stick them under your shirt to 'warm them up' and feel your middle up by the way. he always let's out a bellowing laugh at your struggling and then procedes to kiss up your neck before delivering a final wet kiss to your ear

🧡hanma is a possesive lil shit, like, really possesive. it doesn't really matter is you're just his friend or a romantic partner (tho when you're his s/o it's gonna be bumped up a few many notches), he sees you as his possesion and you're gonna be propely marked so everyone knows that you belong to him

🧡besides the obvious pda where he'll literally rub his head against yours (think like a cat) he'll mark you up with hickies like the fiend he is and will leave them in the most obvious and hard to cover places so that when you guys go out either with friends or just the two of you, the bastard will be grinning like crazy knowing that everyone sees that you're spoken for and it's him who got lucky

🧡another (his personal favorite) way to show others that you're with him is having you smell like him, that includes wearing his shirts and sweaters and you'll sometimes catch him wearing something of yours and then give it back to you and insist that you wear it

🧡also i'm sorry to break it to you but no, the famous 'smells like coffee, cigarettes and cologne' wattpad scent is not a good combination, like at all 💀this is a young male we talk about and it isn't until he actually matured and got money on his hands that he actually cared about how he presents himself, so i just know that the white shirt, black pants and the jesus 3000's flippers fit is something he decided that this will be his signature fit and just went with it and never actually thought about changing🗿

🧡that being said, in his younger years i strongly believe that hanma smells like cigarettes, sweat, gasoline and some cheap cologne but that's only when he's feeling fancy, he usually either doesn't use any perfume or smells like an entire aisle of axe body spray, so if you really want to wear his clothes please for the love of god introduce him to some nice smelling perfume😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this will be all for now! i have a few other (a bit more cursed ideas) but i just wanted to post this and see if anyone will like it lol

so for now, see ya!💕

[spencersawkward]

I love your ff first of all, I'm obsessed and second of all I would ask you a suggestion, idk if maybe is that too much and you're totally free to not do that but you ever thought to do something in the line of the knive kink? I think it will be awesome

i'm so sorry this took so long! big thanks to my guardian angel @voidsfilm for giving me inspiration bc i literally struggled with this one more than i should have. never written a knife kink but i’m glad i tried lol.

summary: reader finds an antique knife that Matthew's kept in a drawer.

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, fingering, oral (male receiving), knife play (no blood drawn), Soft!Dom MGG, degradation and praise.

word count: 3.6k

masterlist

if there is one thing I absolutely despise, it's working out. getting sweaty, running until my legs hurt and my lungs are burning for air... not really my thing.

but when Matthew brought up the idea a couple months into our relationship, I couldn't say no to him: he had a goofy smile on his face and the kind of look in his eyes that made me relent and ask what kind of stuff he wanted to do.

I think that I've found the one thing that Matthew can't make fun.

"I'm gonna pass out." I bend over and set my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Matthew slows to a stop a few feet ahead, turning around and making a strained expression.

"oh, come on." but his voice is pretty breathless, too. he gently guides me off the path so that we don't get in the way of the other people out enjoying the day. a couple walks by us with their dog, strolling calmly, and I feel a rush of envy. if our workout routine had consisted of a few pleasant ambles around the city, I would have been totally willing.

"Matthew, I wanna go home." I whine impatiently. the only nice thing about this is that he's got one of those stupid sweatbands on his head to keep his hair out of his face, and it makes him look like a 1980's housewife.

"we can go home in fifteen minutes." he smiles, puts his hands on his hips, stretching in an exaggerated way.

"do you promise?" I brush a piece of hair out of my face.

"promise," he's lucky he looks so cute in his workout outfit. "we can even get one of those fancy juices for you on the way back."

"seriously?" I light up. this might actually be worth it; they have this amazing mango and lime combination that I can't ever manage to recreate with our own blender.

"if you beat me to the rock, then sure." he references the enormous boulder in Central Park that we both gawked at on our first date-- ever since then, it's been the end point for our runs. my lips curl into a grin.

"you're on." I take off, making sure to push him out of the way in order to gain a head start. he lets out something of a protestation but is quick to follow. I can feel his feet pounding behind me, trying to catch up.

I may not be good at running long distances, but I'm sure as hell faster than he is.

...

it's quiet when I step out of the bedroom, drying my hair with the towel and wandering into the living room. Matthew is sitting at the table with his sketchbook, drawing god knows what while he waits for me to finish up.

"what are you up to?" I ask softly as I plop down across from him. my head is slightly tilted while the towel rubs my scalp.

"I'm not really sure." he shrugs, frowning and holding up the notebook from a distance as if that'll help him figure out what to do.

"can I see when you're done?"

"of course," he sets it on the table again, then runs a fingertip across his chin. "actually, can you do me a favor?"

"sure."

"I have a set of colored pencils in the desk over there," he points to an old piece of furniture under the window. "would you mind getting them for me?"

"yep," I reply, getting up and leaving the towel on the table. "least I can do after kicking your ass."

on the walk past him, Matthew grabs my waist and pulls me into him, attacks me with tickles. I squeal and hit his shoulder.

"stop!" I laugh.

"you barely beat me!" he gives a dazzling smile and finally lets me go. I lightly smack him upside the head and head over to the desk, rifling through the drawers for the colored pencils he wanted.

as I push around various art supplies, glue sticks and random paintbrushes that look to be on the brink of falling apart, my fingers pass something cool and metallic. I grab the thing and pull it out.

it's a knife; like, a fancy one with an intricately decorated handle and what seems to be a pretty dulled edge. before he can notice what I've found, I start to move the thing between my hands curiously. there's a nice weight to it, but it's definitely old.

"hey, Matthew?" I ask warily.

"yeah?" so unassuming and sweet.

"why do you have a knife?"

there's a scratching as he gets up from the table to walk over to me. I lean against the desk. Matthew doesn't seem too bothered by what I'm saying at all, only gently taking the weapon out of my hands and examining it himself.

"oh, yeah!" he lets out something like a laugh. I raise an eyebrow and wait for him to continue. "do you remember when we went antiquing in Cape Cod, like, a month ago?"

"yeah." I nod at the memory. he'd been lucky enough to get some vacation days and we'd spent them sitting by the water with glasses of wine and nothing but time to talk. it really was a great trip, now that I think about it.

"I found it there." he still hasn't looked up and I realize that there's something he's not telling me. I don't know what I'm missing, but I start to get nervous.

"...why?"

"I was gonna ask then, but I guess I just forgot." his tongue darts out across his bottom lip as he lifts his face to meet my gaze. my heart thuds when he opens his mouth again. "I kinda wanted to try something."

"like?"

"I've been thinking about maybe using knives... in a sexual way."

"what?" I frown, confused by his wording. Matthew seems to realize that he's phrased it awkwardly and shifts his stance. he keeps glancing between the object and my face like he's worried about scaring me away.

"I don't mean I'm gonna stab you or anything," he laughs. "I just mean I think it sounds fun."

my hand finds his, brushing my palm over the steel to touch it myself again. there's a curiosity that burns through me now, something I'm a little unsure about but not enough so to deny the possibility of trying it.

"what do you wanna do with it?" I peek up at him. he bites his lip. we're speaking in gentle tones and I notice that our bodies have gotten closer within the last few moments. a warmth, a tension.

"like, pressing the blade flat against your skin while I fuck you." he takes the thing and demonstrates. the cool silver rests on my neck, too dull to really threaten a serious cut if he were to move too quickly. a shiver runs down my spine at the sensation of the metal.

I gulp, feel the curve of my throat push against it when I swallow. it's nice.

"oh." is all I say. Matthew is watching me intently, but he doesn't make any motion away from it. like he's entranced by the sight of me with a knife to my throat.

"are you interested?" he asks.

I mull it over. on the one hand, weapon play is something I've never considered in my sex life before. Matthew and I aren't vanilla, but this hasn't crossed my mind. that said, now that I can really feel it, there is a desire forming in my stomach. it would be a strange, new sensation.

"yes." the confirmation makes him smile a little. he lowers the thing and instead wraps me in his arms, kisses me passionately until our tongues are dancing over each other. I love how he holds me, our torsos against each other while my body leans slightly back to accept the weight of his touch.

he goes to my head like alcohol. and it's even more surreal when I feel the blade move under the hem of my shirt to rest against my back. I smile into his mouth. he doesn't do anything with it, just leaves it to remind me.

he starts to rut his hips against my lower stomach, getting aroused at the proximity of our bodies and the heated nature of our kiss. there's an urgency to all of it, like he's holding back. I don't want him to hold back; I want him to give me everything he has, everything beneath the surface.

my fingers twine in his hair and tug on the ends, causing him to groan into our embrace. there's no way we're going to make it all the way to the bedroom with the way he's grabbing at my body, so I stumble backwards towards the couch until the backs of my thighs hit the arm of it.

"you're horny." I giggle slightly when he pushes the hem of my shirt up my body, his nails dragging over my ribcage and trailing the object along with it. I feel the excitement growing.

"I'm just glad you're willing to try this." he murmurs the words, holds our foreheads together before his lips eagerly seek mine out, again. somehow, even with a weapon leveled against me, I can sense the love in every single action. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't trust him to treat me with the utmost care.

I work at the buttons of his shirt, pushing it over his lovely shoulders and arms as he unclasps my bra. we're fervent, greedy in our movements, trying to kiss despite the attention needed to remove our clothes. mostly we just tangle up in each other until there's nothing left but my shorts for him to shove down my legs. he keeps his pants on.

"c'mon, beautiful." he mutters, pushing my legs open so that I'm sitting on the arm of the couch. he tilts my head and leans closer to suck on my bottom lip, and then starts to massage my tits. I can feel the handle of the weapon against my nipple.

when he reaches to slide his finger between my folds, I hiss out a breath at the cold sensation of his skin.

"is this because of me or the knife, baby?" he asks, corners of his mouth twitching up while I moan into his mouth. he starts to rub my clit with the collected wetness, teasing me too much. I want to fall back, but I can't. I won't let myself.

"both." I find myself turned on by the way the blade sits against my ribs again. the edge is just sharp enough to elicit a reaction from my body.

"feel that?" he angles the thing the slightest bit. I exhale and nod.

that isn't the response he's looking for, however, because he moves it so that it's under my chin. goosebumps on my skin while I pant uselessly against the weapon. I can feel it press harder with every breath out of my lungs, and I love it. I love the risk it brings out of me.

while Matthew dips his index inside my pussy, I writhe against it and tilt my head even more so he has better access.

"look at you," he lets out a dark chuckle, thrusts into me to the last digit. "you want more of this, don't you?"

"yes, sir." I breathe. my neck is actively moving against the metal. I glance down at his body and see his erection straining against his pants, craving release but finding none as he plunges his fingers in and out of me. I can hardly breathe from sheer focus on the sensations he's giving me right now.

"what are you looking at, sweetheart?" he quickens the pace of his movements and uses the object to make me focus on his face.

"you're hard." the words nearly die on my lips. he stares darkly at me, lifting his brows just enough to make me question whether I should have spoken at all. I bite my lip in anticipation.

"and what are you gonna do about it?" his voice is raspy as he stands back, removes his fingers from my pussy, and lets me drop to my knees. I'm weak both from the stimulation and from the loss of it, but I make quick work of undoing his belt, pulling the pants down his legs until I'm face-to-face with his cock. it sits against his stomach, throbbing impatiently while he watches. he uses the metallic point under my jaw to angle my face up to his.

"are you gonna suck me off, baby?" he smirks. I nod rigorously with wide eyes and an open mouth, dragging my tongue along the underside. Matthew's nose scrunches up for a moment at the shock of contact when I tease the head. all his concentration is on watching me wrap my hand around the shaft and pumping him gently. "spit on it."

I obey and spit right onto the tip before rubbing my thumb over the top to gather the precum. as I start to swirl my tongue and move my lips onto him, he throws his head back, lets out a wanton noise. it urges me on. I take every moment with a deliberate attention to the veins and sensitive spot he has.

"that's it, that's it." he rasps while knotting his hand in my hair. the other keeps the knife pressed to my throat. he lets me move on my own for a bit, gauging my desires from the way my eyes attempt to memorize the sight of his face above me, that jaw dropped in licentious craving. I can tell that he wants to fuck my face, but I go slow just to draw it out a little. it makes the soreness of my jaw worth it when he gets all impatient and flustered.

I hollow my cheeks and bob on his dick, bat my lashes, pull myself off him for a second just to kiss the tip.

"can I use your mouth?" he asks through a restrained groan. I open it and nod, sighing at the feeling of his fingers twining through my hair again before he pushes back into the opening. now that he's got full control, he starts to develop his own movements, sometimes meeting his thrusts by pressing my face against him.

he gets deep in it, never losing his grip on the knife, until my nose is pressed to his stomach. my throat closes instinctively around him even more tightly, and he lets out a guttural moan.

"such a cute mouth when I'm using it." he thrusts until I gag and then he's smiling. "get up."

he removes himself so fast, my eyes water at the sudden lack of blockage in my throat. I gulp air while he hooks his hands under my arms and hoists me up. I'm about to turn around so I can lift my leg and give him better access, but he sits me on the arm of the couch and parts my thighs.

"I wanna see your pretty face." he leans down and pecks my cheek. I smile at the surprising tenderness-- although it doesn't last long. steel sits against the space between my neck and collarbone. it's only a moment before he positions himself between my legs and slides his cock into me.

my back arches and I look him in the eyes, gasping.

"fuck, baby." he drags out the first word as he inches inside. I mewl helplessly at the way he stretches me out, my pussy clenching every few seconds. he keeps one hand on my lower back to support me and bring me closer to his pelvis, and then we're staring into each other's eyes as he finally settles in it.

his hips start to thrust into me, hopeful for any kind of contact while I accustom myself to the shape of him. it happens every time, despite the amount of times we've done this. and I'm bad at patience, but he's worse. his body stutters against mine.

"is it good enough, sir?" I ask quietly. he tightens his grip on my back and on the blade, the edge threatening my skin the perfect amount. I suck in a breath at the way it stings a little.

"you're doing perfectly." he recognizes what I want to hear as he finds my sweet spot and begins to hit it repeatedly, smoothly works my body. I swear there are planets in my eyes when I stare at the expressions on his face, both of us so wrapped up in each other that every other thought becomes obsolete.

he moves the knife to under my chin to rest on my throat.

"feel that?"

I nod so the edge bites more. he smirks.

"just to show you who you belong to."

my hips push up to meet his thrusts, needing more stimulation, more friction. what I want is for him to be relentless, to slam into my body with the kind of hunger I know he has. there are sounds, movements, that he's made before that make me want him to use them. but he's withholding, probably hesitant about the dangerous object on my pulse point.

"I belong to you, sir." I egg him on. he likes the sound of that, grunting and starting to pound into me.

"yeah? you're my dirty little whore." he speaks through gritted teeth. I shiver.

"mhmm."

"I use you how I want, when I want." his fingertips dig into my skin and he yanks me closer so that he can hit a new angle. I let out a surprised noise when he brushes my g-spot. it's otherworldly and I expose more of my neck to him.

"my little slut likes pain, huh?" he nudges the weapon harder into my skin. it doesn't draw blood, but I can sense the mark it'll leave. I love it.

"yes, sir." we're both getting needy, but we can't hold each other the way that we want to in our given positions. my palms are occupied on the arm of the couch to hold myself up and one of his hands is too busy holding the object for us to fuck as deeply as we need.

"are you gonna take it like a good girl when I cum in it?" he mutters. he runs his tongue over my jawline and the weapon nicks my skin. I moan at the mingling of sensations that's building all across my body.

"yes, sir." I plead. it's nearly unbearable, how much I want him. we're chasing our orgasms and I know what will finish me off. he knows, too.

Matthew drops the knife. it clatters to the ground, but there's no time for me to register it with the way he grabs my hips and lifts me into the air, my legs wrapping around his waist while he keeps fucking into me. he maneuvers us with shocking ease, laying me on the couch and positioning himself at the right moment so that I can drag my nails over his back and keep my thighs locked around him.

"mmm... baby, I'm gonna cum." he drives into me recklessly, both of us finally able to cling to each other. the angle is just enough to stimulate my clit and I nod, using the leverage of my legs to pull myself to him and roll my hips for friction.

Matthew slams my body into the couch, grunting in my ear as he finds his climax inside me. it's so deep, I have to work to keep the yell inside, but he's not done. he rides it out and plows into me while I reach the edge.

"tell me how it feels." he orders in my ear. I sigh.

"so-- so good, sir." my voice is thin. "I'm close."

"show me." he leaves bruises on my hips with his hands. I feel the knot finally snap, every muscle in my stomach spasming chaotically. I finish with a loud moan, begging him to drag it out further. my vision nearly goes black at the tide that threatens to overtake my body.

"Matthew--" I gasp. he moans quietly at the way I say his name, still rocking his body into mine while I come down from the shocks of orgasm. it's nearly overwhelming, the pleasure running through my body.

slowly, we come to a stillness and he drops his head into my shoulder, panting. he doesn't let go at first, but then he withdraws from my pussy and lets me take a rest. I lay there on the couch while he kneels between my legs, pressing gentle kisses to my neck.

"I love you." he repeats it over and over.

"I love you, too," I hope he can feel the meaning, despite the sheer exhaustion in my tone. he runs his fingertips across the red marks where the thing went a little too deeply, but I'm not worried about it. "we should try that again, sometime."

"you liked it?" he smiles brightly. I love the lines by his eyes.

"definitely."

he lets out a cheerful noise and buries his face back into my throat because he knows how much it tickles. I screech and giggle, my legs kicking wildly around me. more contented than ever before.

[lucky-draws]

8, 18, 32, and 40 for the writing ask game :)

Hello, thank you for asking! <3

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

Oooh!!! Great question....both would be very interesting; dialogue can be difficult sometimes, so a story without any appeals...although it would still be a challenge, of course. No action is quite a tough one; I wonder how I would go about either of these options. I think I could certainly have a go at no dialogue, because there's a lot that can be said without any spoken words.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

HRM!! ok jfhfj i'm gonna go with the bit from chapter 7 of sing where ocelot + big boss are having their little uh gunplay moment, mainly because that's a section which i rewrote/struggled with a bit. i originally had that moment taking place differently, right at the start of the chapter rather than once they get to bb's room. i wasn't happy with it, though, and i think it worked a lot better in the final version, especially since the visuals of bb on the bed + ocelot standing over him helped to emphasise the power dynamic and whatnot. (and i was then able to add kaz walking in LOL.) i still have the discarded passages, so i'll put them here.

Footsteps from behind you; and out of the darkness John emerges. You turn, but stay where you are, waiting for him to approach; and when he does, he keeps his distance, standing several feet apart from you.

He clears his throat. “There you are,” he says. “Came to find you because, uh - we’re having a sort of party - well, Kaz’s idea - we often have them - just a barbecue on the deck, that sort of thing. You should join us.”

His tone is apologetic, although whether he’s apologising for his earlier behaviour or for Kaz’s general existence, you really couldn’t say. You step closer so that you’re inches away, studying him. He stares back at you, unblinking; but there’s less of the monster about him now, you think. He's washed the blood off his face, and combed his hair somewhat; he looks decidedly more human.

He’s put on some clothes, finally - a t-shirt with a fatigue jacket worn open over the top; and there’s an unlit cigar in his mouth, you notice. You take out your lighter, but simply hand it to him instead of leaning in to do it yourself. He takes it with a fraction of a smile, acknowledging the rejection, and while he lights up you ask hesitantly, “You’re alright then? Your back, and whatever?”

“I’m fine,” he says; although you don’t miss the way he winces slightly when he raises his arm to light the cigar. You drum your fingers against your hip, churning over in your mind just what the hell else to say - or rather, where to even begin. The ocean continues to rush steadily around you, still the only noise in this deserted corner of the base.

Eventually, you break the stalemate. Swiftly, you draw your gun; pressing the barrel of the revolver against John’s temple, finger only an inch away from the trigger. You drink in the way he sucks in a breath, a barely detectable flinch before he stays stock-still, still looking you in the eye.

“Don’t take me for granted, John,” you say; and your voice is flat, emotionless. Straight from the interrogation room. You punctuate each sentence with a soft nudge of the barrel. “I don’t work for you. You’re not my commanding officer. And I could have this place sunk to the bottom of the ocean any time I fucking like.”

The silence is so cold, that you fancy John’s short huff of breath is visible.

“I know you could,” he says softly. Moving ever so slowly, he places his hand on your outstretched arm, lowering the gun gently down a little - until it’s by his mouth. Still keeping eye contact, he touches his lips to the end of the barrel - softly, tenderly, almost; and he wraps his mouth around, staying like that for several beats before pulling off with a soft smack.

Your own lips parted in surprise, you can’t help a sharp inhale of breath as you stare at him, hyper-aware of your finger by the trigger. A show of arrogance - certainty that you wouldn’t pull the trigger on him? A way of saying, beneath the mocking innuendo, "Ah, but you wouldn't do that to me, would you, even though you could?"

Or is it actually a show of trust - deference, even? Funny how it's your heart that's pounding, nerves going haywire, even though you're the one behind the gun, you think.

"Christ, John,” you say quietly, returning the gun to its holster. “That was loaded, you crazy bastard.”

John just smiles. “You were the one pointing it at me.”

Actually, I even had a third idea for how that scene should go, although all that exists of it is vague notes:

was basically going to have ocelot admitting like, "i was going to hold a gun to your head and be all dramatic about this... but we're both standing here in the rain and I've just spent the last hour listening to tapes about my mother so... can we do that later" etc, and then once he gets to bb's room bb brings up ocelots mention of having a lot to say, and i was imagining it ends up where ocelot is like just pointing his fingers at John instead of a real gun, a sort of weird let's pretend. (but they both know how real it is, or whatever.) idk.. honestly the start of chapter 7 was something i really took a while to figure out, i have lots of notes on it where i kept changing the order of things, how stuff happened etc. but i guess it turned out okay in the end LOL.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

Ooh.... it's very difficult to pick just one line, but there are a lot of lines/passages from a book called Brideshead Revisited which are very memorable/make me go a little crazy etcetera.

'to know and love one other human being is the root of all wisdom' is a line that probably finds its way into those popular tumblr posts connecting phrases from different books /media together, but in the context of the book, it's a Lot. there are some lovely longer passages/descriptions that I enjoy too.

It's one of my favourite books, I suppose. Full of nostalgia, impending doom, some really lovely writing and also some humour, the whole thing has an irony/air of satire to it as well as the heartfelt emotions which prevents it from being too pretentious. It helps that I watched the TV series adaptation of this book before I read it; they were very faithful to the book and had the protagonist's character narrating here and there with passages straight from the book. (in this paragraph, I can very clearly hear him saying '"this was my conversion to the Baroque ".... )

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

I think I'll go for Maundy Thursday by Wilfred Owen; I can't claim to have read a huge amount of poetry (yet) (i'm trying!), but this is probably one of my favourite poems currently.

thanks for asking!! o7