#this is mostly just vacant rambling trying 2 figure out what to do next

[saddlepunk]

keep flipflopping between writing brother rabbit as one continuous piece and jumping around from plot point to plot point. im currently writing it in the order i think everything should be presented and its WORKING, im still writing daily and it isnt terrible even when it also isnt great. i think my current frustration is just coming from the fact that im writing a pov that Isnt Aliss and i want to Write Aliss Again. i could do that, i know where to pick him up after im done with this section, but theres two issues w that idea:

1) those other povs will still need to be written and putting them off wont make them easier

2) i can sometimes be bad abt remembering to actually... go back. which is why i stopped writing out of order in the first place.

maybe ive gotten good enough at my editing to not have to worry as much about that though like. for clarifications sake: i write everything longhand in a notebook, and recently ive finally gotten around to transcribing/editing often rewriting all that into scrivener, and thats been going well, so maybe i /can/ trust myself to actually write those bits when i Need To but...

i dunno!!! i do not know-

[magicofthepen]

Having put some amount of thought into similar concepts, I would very much love to hear about “Gallifrey BUT FANTASY”

Send me a WIP doc title (list here) and I’ll talk about it!

Thank you for asking about this one! It’s an idea that’s been slowly coalescing for at least a year and a half now – it’s never quite made it onto the active projects list because it’s a big one, and I keep having other big projects that I want to tackle first. But I love gradually coming back to and building this au, and hopefully I’ll write it eventually?

The general world premise is pretty straightforward: magic replaces both time travel and regeneration, so it’s a magic-based world instead of a tech-based one, and also the ability to do magic is only given to certain Gallifreyans (a Time Lords = mages sort of thing). Also in this world the different temporal powers/planets are different countries/kingdoms/empires. 

The story itself would be a series of three longfics that starts with a very narrow cast and gradually broadens to a more sprawling epic fantasy vibe as the series continues. A quick overview:

Fic 1 is a Romana/Leela Rapunzel AU (inspired by Tangled specifically tbh), ft. Pandora as the Mother Gothel figure. 

Fic 2 is the immediate aftermath of Romana’s return to Gallifrey and the "power struggle over the throne” conflict that emerges between her and Darkel. (Narvin and Brax show up in this one.)

Fic 3 is set some number of years after Fic 2. It’s a “Pandora returns” fic, but narratively it’s more inspired by the Time War. Devastating magical conflict, large cast of characters, but does have a hopeful/happy-ish ending. (Also: Romana/Leela/Narvin endgame.) 

Lots more rambling under the cut: 

Fic 1: Rapunzel AU

This fic is technically Tangled-inspired, but I should disclaim that I haven’t actually seen Tangled in many years, so my memories of it are somewhat vague? But there’s one scene from Tangled that inspired a scene in this fic, plus a certain similar enemies-to-friends-to-lovers vibe going on, and some inspiration for Leela’s backstory (if I’m remembering that movie correctly)? 

Romana is the Rapunzel figure, of course. The heiress stolen away from the kingdom as a very young child, so she doesn’t remember anything before being raised by Pandora. In this story, Pandora’s endgame isn’t to keep her trapped away forever – she’s grooming Romana to be able to possess her when the time is right and take the throne for herself. (Still need to work out a lot of plot details, including how much contact Romana has with the outside world, how Pandora is able to manifest without a body?? (because she’s definitely still a dark spirit of some kind in this world....), the exact nature of magic and magical rituals and how exactly Pandora stealing Romana and raising her benefits her endgame.)

(Also there’s an Etra Prime reference here, with Romana being trapped away from the world for twenty years. In this au, Pandora is also the stand-in for the Daleks – aka who/what Romana is most afraid of and traumatized by.)

Leela’s backstory is a work in progress, so I don’t want to say too much in case I change it, but at the point her life and Romana’s collide, she’s lived in Gallifrey before and it was not a good time. (On a side note: I feel like this fic may be a thinly veiled excuse to give Leela a sword.) 

This fic majorly focuses on Romana and Leela’s relationship arc, aka “extremely sheltered book smart mage who's been cut off from love and connection her whole life” meets “warrior who’s traveled a lot but has never really found a home anywhere and is (probably?) on the run from the Gallifreyan authorities for Reasons.” Short version: their lives collide, Romana gets tangled up in Leela’s plot drama (which is also mostly tbd) and ends up sneaking away from Pandora, they fall in love, just as Romana starts to see how much she’s been used and manipulated her whole life, Pandora tries to tear them apart and use both of them as pawns in her plan. Of course, they defeat her and all ends well (for now).

Fic 2: Struggle for the Throne

For Reasons (that will be uncovered later), the throne of Gallifrey has quite recently become vacant – just in time for Romana and Leela to show up in the capital city (they don’t ever go there in Fic 1). Romana just wanted to see where she was from after finally escaping Pandora, but in this world, Gallifrey has some sort of monarchy/inheritance of power thing going on, and Romana is actually the closest heir to the throne. The next closest is Darkel, who assumed she would take the throne, before Romana suddenly returns from the dead.   

Except Romana didn’t come back to take the throne. That was Pandora’s plan, Romana doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life and had no idea that she was walking into a power vacuum situation. But she ends up seeing how very terrible Darkel is, and how very terrible Gallifrey is, and starts genuinely wanting to be in charge so she can Change Things. She sees how terrible Gallifrey is to Leela (and other outsiders and non-mages) and wants to make this place better for her.....but over time gets swept up in the power struggles and the need to court favor with the other royals, which strains her relationship with Leela. 

Meanwhile, Leela’s dealing with returning to Gallifrey, a place where she already feels unwelcome (and probably is in some trouble with the law and needs to clear her name? again, lots of backstory details are tbd). And so she ends up struggling to decide if she really wants to be with Romana, if Romana’s going to end up in charge of this kingdom.....but she also hates Darkel and wants to help defeat her claim to the throne? I think there’s also going to be a plot thread in Fic 1 involving the village Leela was born in, and if so, this fic will also be dealing with the fallout of those events from Fic 1. (Keeping things vague because it’s all pretty up in the air right now.) 

And we finally meet spymaster Narvin, who is a main character from here through the rest of the series! I’m not going to get into his backstory in this au right now (because some things are still tbd, some things I don’t want to spoil), but he is not pleased about this young upstart heiress showing up out of nowhere and getting power handed to her without ever actually living in this kingdom. He doesn’t trust that she’s actually loyal to Gallifrey, especially since rumor has it she was raised and given/taught magic by some dark spirit – which goes against the long-standing Gallifreyan traditions of how magic is granted and taught and raises some major questions about how safe the kingdom would be in her hands. (These are also the prevailing arguments in general for tossing Romana’s claim to the throne.) 

Narvin and Leela also have.....a history. Not a particularly positive one. 

So this fic is also slowburn enemies-to-friends with Narvin + Romana and Narvin + Leela, as they gradually grow to understand and trust each other, and ultimately all work together against Darkel.

Brax is also in this fic? I am quite nervous about Brax being in this fic (I don’t feel qualified to write Brax! I usually avoid writing Brax for that reason!) But he’s the main “well-respected mage from an old family” who actually vouches for Romana and tries to help soothe the fears of the more conservative royals about supporting her claim to the throne. I’d also like to do a version of the “Brax as Romana’s tutor” thing, where he ends up working with her on developing her magic, since she didn’t go through the Academy system and is worried that her magic is tainted by Pandora. There may also end up being an almost-arranged marriage plotline with Romana and Brax, where certain people would be more willing to support Romana’s claim if she married someone respectable (and this is another thing that drives a wedge in Romana and Leela’s relationship). (She ends up turning him down, ultimately.) 

So it’s a fic about characters figuring out what they want in life and figuring out how to communicate better with each other and be better at relationships and friendships, all the while trying to stop Darkel from seizing the throne. 

Fic 3: Magical War

So there’s a significant time skip between Fic 2 and Fic 3 where the characters are going about their lives post-Darkel’s defeat and trying to make Gallifrey a somewhat less terrible place. 

But, however Romana and Leela defeat Pandora in Fic 1, it isn’t permanent. And when Pandora returns, it’s with an army of magical spirits (or something along those lines) that are slowly encroaching on the kingdom and poisoning magic itself (aka the Dogma virus But Fantasy). 

I don’t want to spoil too many of the plot details here, but this fic is a lot of “fantasy twist on specific events in the Gallifrey audios” – it draws some elements from the civil war, some from the Time War (especially because of that whole “Pandora is also Metaphorically the Daleks” thing), plus some other Specific Things from other audios. (Basically, I tossed the Gallifrey audios in a soup and stirred and made it fantasy?) 

Slow skirmishes and terrible attacks on the outskirts of the kingdom keep happening, Pandora’s forces draw closer and closer until they reach the capitol itself – and things go very wrong, and our main characters end up needing to wrest control back from Pandora (which may involve upending the entire system of magic in Gallifrey in the process? again, still figuring out how this fic is going to end – all I know is that unlike the actual audios, it will be a hopeful/happy ending). Lots of personal sacrifices are made, lots of old traumas need to be grappled with. Also re: Narvin/Leela and Narvin/Romana, this is the “friends to lovers” part of the “enemies to friends to lovers” slowburn arc. 

(Probably my biggest writing struggle for this fic is that I don’t really know what Brax’s arc is going to be. I’m not that familiar with Brax (I only know him from the Gallifrey audios), and I’m not strongly invested in his character, so I don’t feel like I’d do a good job writing him? But this is an ensemble fic and I can’t just ignore his character, so. it’s a challenge I don’t yet know how to deal with?)

But overall, one of the reasons I’m quite interested in this fic series is because it gives me the chance to write a version of these characters’ stories where things do get rough, but they do get a happy ending of sorts. (And more specifically, I get to write a version of Romana’s story where her self-sacrificing/suicidal tendencies actually get addressed, and she slowly starts to heal.) 

So that was a lot of rambling and vagueness, but thanks for giving me the excuse to talk about this au! It’s quite a daunting project (I have little experience with longfic and with plotty fic), but I’d really love to tackle it someday! (And I would love to hear about any fantasy aus you’ve developed!!)

[silvysartfulness]

3, 4, 10, 15

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Oh... There’s no “always” scene, what scenes get me going varies from story to story, fandom to fandom. On the whole, I’m not that scene-oriented - it is the set-up and context that really get me going? The scenes are just expressions of that! Sorry! XD

There are a whole bunch of scenes I’m looking forward to write, though! In the Roadtrip, I do hope my steam will keep going until I hit the really messy, rewarding parts where the characters actually really start connecting (and yes, that includes the sex!) Especially Xue Yang’s and Song Lan’s relationship has a lot of very juicy things to explore, emotionally and physically down the line - that’s the story bits my brain tends to disappear off to when contemplating future bits of this fic, at least at the moment! :D

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like) 

From the published chapters, I'm very happy with the “teacup” scene from chapter 6 of the Roadtrip! I find it poetic, and I like how it seemingly offers a respite from the turmoil of the ongoing scene - only to then double down and enhance the hurt of it. Causing readers pain can be beautiful. ♥

----

He had owned a little teacup, once, on the Mountain, a treasured delicate thing of white porcelain, and in a careless moment he had dropped it. It had still looked whole, but the next time he poured hot water into it, it had made a tinkling, almost musical sound, the water draining out of it as all the invisible cracks opened at once.

Even then it had still looked like a whole cup, only crackled, and it wasn't until he tried picking it up that it fell into a hundred pieces at his touch.

The roaring storm in his head had reached a crescendo so overwhelming it was almost bleeding into silence, and in that silence, he could hear his heart making that almost musical tinkling sound, shattered, all cracks breaking open at once.

----

From unpublished chapters, I very much like the following little snippet! Xue Yang isn’t one to consciously feel sorry for himself, he likes telling himself how heartless he is, that he can’t be hurt. Which is a blatant lie, and sometimes he just can’t help but wallow in self-pity. ♥

It has all the ingredients I like - there’s hurt, poetic phrasing, multiple vividly visual allegories:

----

There had been a hole in Xiao Xingchen's world after Baixue, ripped out of him to cause hurt - a dug-out trap he'd somehow, ironically, stupidly fallen into himself. A vacant space in Xiao Xingchen's life for him to occupy for a while, knowing that smile, that endless tenderness. He could see the gap close between them now, see it happen, himself forced out like unwanted water from near-drowned lungs.

It hurt.

----

10. How would you describe your writing process? 

“Frustration”..? Writing doesn’t come nearly as naturally to me as drawing, and unless I get lucky and catch a wave, it’s a constant struggle. Especially these days, when my brain has suffered enough burn-outs that I have genuine problems with memory, concentration and executive function.

But the process itself tends to go: Headcanon wildly -> decide that headcanons are interesting enough to make for decent fiction -> sketch a bit and flail about ideas to unsuspecting people to fix visions in mind -> write a very loose outline in separate document -> open word processor -> hope like fuck the characters will be willing to start talking -> trying to get it all to snowball and keep up steam until project is actually finished

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)? 

Tags. Tags fill me with dread. Tags feel like the bit where failure will bring purity antis or angry people in general down on my head, enraged, if I get it wrong. Tags give me the same undefined dread as filling in official forms (”What is your name?” I don’t know, I sob. I don’t know anything anymore!) I try?

Summaries are medium-hard, but I cheat and keep mine very short.

Titles, on the other hand, I love titles! For the Roadtrip, I’ve set up a challenge for myself that every chapter title should be able to be interpreted in at least two different ways, preferably more, with multiple layers of meanings and symbolism!

Like the “Sticks and Stones” chapter, for example, that starts very literally with Xue Yang fighting Song Lan with his pointy stick, ending up slammed down on the rocks - but it’s really about the very end of the chapter, and the implied “words can never hurt me” - ironically meant, since it’s Xue Yang’s words that almost kill Xiao Xingchen.

Same with “Poison In The Air” which both refers to the venom between all the characters at that point, and very literal corpse dust on the wind.

“Is it you?” of course paraphrases Xiao Xingchen’s question in Yi City, where he first says it after stabbing Song Lan through the chest, asking for Xue Yang to confirm that he’s alright. And then the same phrase when he’s on his knees, feeling Fuxue and realizing who the fierce corpse beside him is, and he says the same words, this time indicating Song Lan. In that chapter, he constantly sways back and forth in how he relates to them both, consciously leaving his questions undirected, to see which one of them will answer, a wordless “is it you?” aimed at them both.

“Reawakenings” alludes both to Xiao Xingchen regaining consciousness and him and Song Lan reconnecting, a reawakening of their affection (love) ending with them holding hands in sleep. “The Coffin House” is an evil red herring, that would seem to refer to Xue Yang’s and Xiao Xingchen’s past in Yi City, but where the final scene topples that perception on its head, grimly becoming something extremely literal.

Next chapter to be posted is called “Bitter Medicine”. Again to be interpreted both somewhat literally and figuratively. ♥

As for the whole fic itself, I wanted a title that 1: referred back to the Chinese origins of the Untamed, 2: something to do with roads and journeying, and 3: preferably something that captured the general air of the story I wanted to tell. I was very pleased to find the Chinese proverb I ended up using; 天堂有路你不走 地狱无门你闯进来: "Heaven has a road but no-one walks it - Hell has no gate, but men will dig to get there". 

It checks the first two boxes, and the sardonic irony of the whole quote fits these idiots and the way they’ve ended up hurting others but mostly themselves, and how they keep doing so inadvertently as they go along. They’re on the way to some sort of redemption, Heaven - but they’re making each others’ lives Hell as they go. They will get better at balancing things along the way, though - eventually. ♥

I could ramble about these metas forever, and I’m very very happy to have been given an excuse to do so! Thank you!! XD

There’s so much sneaky thought going into this story, and it’s a delight to actually be asked to talk about it! :D

[emmelineparker308]

His Baby Part- 2

Part- 1

A/N: I’m such a jerk. I’m so sorry it took so long. 

Pairing: Castiel x Pregnant Named Reader

Warnings: Violence, Angst, and to end it off Fluff

Previously on His Baby: “Oh, I can’t let you keep this child Millie. You are meant to bare only one angel’s child and that angels name is definitely not poor, sad, weak CASTIEL. You are mine! I have told you this before!” the man towering over me growled out.

In an instant, you knew who was possessing Castiel’s  body.

LUCIFER.

             Years ago, when Lucifer was walking and talking on the Earth, he had come to you. Sam wasn’t the only one who got visits from the devil during dreams. However, he didn’t talk to you about possessing your body like he had with Sam, but he had told you time and time again that you were his. He whispered it, screamed it, and etched the way he says those two words into your mind forever.

Of course, Lucifer himself didn’t know why he did this. He tried to justify himself with the excuse that he was not interested in you because of love but because you were so pure. Even after the hundreds of monsters you killed, and the amounts of mistakes you had made, you were so pure, and Lucifer felt that the moment he was being released from the cage. He felt it and he wanted to destroy it. His thought was that if you bore his child then the purity in you, the purity that was you, would be destroyed. But the truth was that the purity in you had attracted him to you, it reminded him of himself before the Mark had corrupted him. He found himself feeling attached to you, wanting to be around you all the time, savoring the little amount of time that he did get to see you. Quickly he realized that he was falling for you, and it angered him, how vulnerable he was when you were near him. But no matter how hard he tried to get you out of his mind, he felt even more attracted to you. Even when he was back in the cage all he could think about was you and the love he felt for you. He longed for you more than anything and the pain was too much for him to bare. He took it all his rage on Michael but through the years he had grown weary and tired longing for just a sight of you.  

When he first saw you after coming back from the cage he was ecstatic, but that soon changed when he realized that you were in love with the angel that he was possessing. No matter how hard Lucifer tried, he could not understand why you were in love with the weak brother of his. It became increasingly difficult for him when you were around because the amount of love Castiel held for you was making Cas fight for dominance over the vessel. Lucifer thought that it would be best that the Winchesters didn’t know about him possessing Castiel’s body yet, and with you around he was afraid that he would end up revealing himself. This was when he started to avoid you but when the brothers called him to look after you, he knew that something was going to go bad. He didn’t realize how bad that situation would get until you came in and announced that you were pregnant.

Waves of all types of emotions went through him. There were rage and sadness but there was also joy and pride coming through from Castiel. After minutes of fighting with his weak brother for control, Lucifer finally took hold and did the one thing he denied himself off. He kissed you, being an archangel he could have claimed your body as his, a long time ago, but something in him made him want your permission. Now, however, he threw all that out the window as rage filled him. Your lips felt so soft, he could feel your body giving in to the kiss, but once you started to push him off, Castiel took control of the vessel for a second. He was enraged by you telling him to leave, though Lucifer knew that you thought it was Castiel doing all this he felt rejected by you.

“Oh, I can’t let you keep this child Millie. You are meant to bare only one angel’s child and that angels name is definitely not poor, sad, weak CASTIEL. You are mine! I have told you this before!” he growled out, towering over your figure. You immediately recognized the damned archangel, and you tried to find an escape route. Lucifer, knowing you were looking for an out, punched you square in the jaw. The pain was almost enough to knock you out but you held onto consciousness worried about what Lucifer might do to you if you blacked out. He hit you over and over showing no mercy whatsoever. It hurt you, even more, to know that the angel you fell in love with was tortured to watch as his brother hurts you. As Lucifer aimed his next punch to your lower abdomen, you cried out in fear of losing your child weakly using your arm to shield your baby. You had shut your eyes, shielding yourself from watching the archangel possessing your loves vessel destroy your child. After a second or two of nothing happening, you dared to open your eyes. You immediately see Castiel, your Castiel with tears pouring down his face drawing out an angel banishing sigil with the blood you spat out. He then takes your face in his hands and says, “I know that you must hate me right now. I also know you must hate me for saying yes to Lucifer but I have to do this Millie, I have to help. I love you, and you being pregnant is the best thing to have ever happened to us. I swear to you I will protect this child and you in any and every way I can. I love you, both of you.” Before you had a chance to respond he presses your hand to the sigil banishing him from the bunker, and darkness takes over you.

The constant beeping of the hospital monitors is what woke you up, with almost all the energy you had left you opened your eyes, groaning as the bright lights make your eyes water. “Hey there sweetheart,” your eldest brother greets you, helping you sit up. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days, and you guessed that he probably refused to leave your side the entire time you were there. He sat at the side of your bed and was about to say something when the moose walked in.  

“Hey, you’re up!” Sam smiled, he had a cup of coffee in each hand and, looked like he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a while, as well.

“Hi,” you responded weakly, your voice hoarse from the lack of usage. Dean held a cup of water to your lips and you gladly gulped down. “How long was I out?” you ask, your voice sounding much better this time.

“Three days,” Sam answered moving to the side of the bed that was vacant. You take in the information and run the events that occurred leading to you being at the hospital through your mind. Dread fills you as you clutch your lower stomach, glancing at your brothers with absolute fear written all over your face.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay kiddo, the little one is as healthy as can be. The doctors were a little worried when you went into a coma, but they saw significant improvement in your conditions within hours. They told us that it was as if your little one was healing you from the inside,” Dean explains your worries away. “I’m so happy for you bug,” he adds hugging you as tight as he could with all the wires in the way.

“Me too. I gonna be an uncle,” Sam says with a goofy grin on his face as he too tackles you into a hug, and starts to ramble about the types of food you should and shouldn’t be eating. About twenty minutes later you were given a clean bill of health, the doctor gave you some prenatal medication and referred you to a gynecologist. As you sit in the backseat of the Impala, you decided to talk about Cas. Your brothers were kind enough not to ask who did this to you, but you knew they wanted to know and wanted revenge.

“Guys, can we talk about Cas?” you ask quietly. Your brothers exchange a look between themselves and then turns to you.

“Sure thing sweetheart, what about him?” Dean asked as he parked the car at the side of the road.  

“How did you guys find me?” you ask wanting to know how much they knew about the situation.

“Cas sent us a text saying that we needed to get back to the bunker asap. We tried to call him but he turned his phone off, and we floored it to the bunker. You were passed out, and we were so afraid that we were too late,” Sam said grimly voice still filled with the terror of losing you.  You couldn’t help but smile a bit at how even though he was being possessed by Lucifer your Cas still took control of his vessel long enough to make sure you and your baby would be okay.

“Well, Cas isn’t Cas,” you said and at the confused look your brothers gave you, you sigh and explain how Cas was being possessed by the devil himself. You also explained about how he was about to destroy Cas’s and your baby when Cas finally took control over his body. Before you knew it, you were a complete mess, sobbing into your hands. You heard the front doors of the Impala open and close, both of your brothers sat on either side. They both cooed sweet phrases and sweet nothings into your ear, reassuring you that everything was going to be fine. After your sobs turned into sniffles Dean started to drive, while Sam opted to stay with you in the backseat.

Dean and Sam decided to take you shopping for, as Dean so eloquently put it, “mommy foods”. As they, mostly Sam, were loading the cart with foods that were recommended for expecting mothers you decided to send a text to Cas. You knew that it was most probably Lucifer that would read the text but you also knew that your Cas was in there somewhere and would get the message as well.

I don’t hate you Cas. I will never be able to hate you. I don’t understand why you said yes to Lucifer but I know that you had a damn good reason for it. Meanwhile, our prince or princess and I will be waiting for your safe return to us. Be safe. We love you.

Little did you know that that message was what would eventually give Cas the strength to fight Lucifer when trying to put him back into the cage.