#i could jump to the next pov and see what that does

[saddlepunk]

keep flipflopping between writing brother rabbit as one continuous piece and jumping around from plot point to plot point. im currently writing it in the order i think everything should be presented and its WORKING, im still writing daily and it isnt terrible even when it also isnt great. i think my current frustration is just coming from the fact that im writing a pov that Isnt Aliss and i want to Write Aliss Again. i could do that, i know where to pick him up after im done with this section, but theres two issues w that idea:

1) those other povs will still need to be written and putting them off wont make them easier

2) i can sometimes be bad abt remembering to actually... go back. which is why i stopped writing out of order in the first place.

maybe ive gotten good enough at my editing to not have to worry as much about that though like. for clarifications sake: i write everything longhand in a notebook, and recently ive finally gotten around to transcribing/editing often rewriting all that into scrivener, and thats been going well, so maybe i /can/ trust myself to actually write those bits when i Need To but...

i dunno!!! i do not know-

[fangswbenefits]

Sweet Girl

Summary: Miguel isn’t all that excited about you joining spider society, so why and how does he enter a spiral of maddening obsession?

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x spider-woman!reader

Miguel POV. Obsessed Miguel. Soft/inexperienced reader. Pining.

This is more an of an introduction to my current series Frustration. You don’t have to read the first 3 parts to enjoy this.

Miguel crossed his arms as he stood on the lowered platform.

He was waiting.

And he hated being kept waiting.

Tense minutes went by until a swirling flash of light tore through the space continuum right in front of him.

Jessica Drew stepped out first, followed closely by Peter B. Parker.

And you.

You seemed so out of it, that Miguel wondered how a spider person could have been this badly affected by a mere dimensional travel.

As you tumbled out of the portal, you immediately lurched forward. “Oh, I’m going to be sick.”

Without further warning, you emptied the content of your stomach onto the floor.

Amazing.

Arching an eyebrow, he glared at Jess who was patting your back reassuringly.

“It’s her first time, Miguel,” she frowned lightly, helping you straighten up.

Peter offered you a tissue. “Oh, I remember my first time. My intestines were not the same for a week, and I do-”

Miguel immediately cut him off, not at all interested in hearing about Peter Parker’s bowl movements. “Welcome to Nueva York,” he stepped out of the platform, extending his hand to you. “I’m Miguel O’Hara.”

You cleared your throat and shook his hand. “So… you’re the boss.”

“I’m the boss.”

Miguel saw your eyes scanning him him up and down, widening slightly. “You’re… big.”

Peter snorted and Jessica chuckled.

But he could only roll his eyes. “You’ll eventually get used to your portal jumps.”

You scanned the room with curious eyes. “That portal really needs stabilisation,” you then mumbled, adjusting your suit. “The motion sickness…”

He scoffed. “You’re a spider-woman. I’m sure you can manage motion sickness.”

“Well… it’s not the same as swinging around in your web,” you retorted with a light shrug.

Jessica patted your shoulder. “That’s why we recruited you. Your intel might be able to helps us with some of these… instabilities.”

You immediately smiled brightly. “Oh, sure! I can’t wait to get started. This place looks so cool.”

Miguel groaned inwardly. Amateurs.

He had scanned your file thoroughly and had been against your recruitment initially, but Jess had brought up valid points in your favour, despite the fact that you had only been bitten less than six months ago.

Inexperienced and ambitious.

These two hardly ever worked together, but your vast knowledge in tech compounds had made him give Jess the benefit of the doubt.

“Follow me. I’ll have to draw blood to run some tests and Lyla here will fill you in later on other procedures.”

The hologram popped in obnoxiously by your shoulder. “If he asks nicely, that is.”

Your mouth dropped open in absolute bewilderment. “Woah! AI? That is really, really awesome!”

“Thank you, pumpkin,” she grinned with a wink.

Miguel paced through the long halled that stretched out towards Lab 1, with you following close by, as Peter and Jess flanked you.

From the corner of his eye, he saw you glaring out of the tall windows, completely transfixed by the the countless skyscrapers that sprawled out as far as the eye could see.

“You built this?” your voice echoed in sheer wonder.

“Yes.”

“All of this?”

“Miguel is really gifted with technology,” Peter chimed in proudly.

“Woah…”

That tingled his ego nicely.

As the four of you walked inside the lab, the surrounding spiders at work glanced over, voicing their greetings.

“Take a seat.”

You immediately did as he said with Jessica standing next to you, hand on your shoulder.

Miguel put his gloves on and readied the material for the blood testing.

“Give me your arm.”

“So you’re a tech guy…” you started, and he gripped your forearm, rolled the sleeve of your suit up with fingers probing for a vein. “What else?”

“A geneticist.”

“Nice! So you’re like a two for one type of deal?”

Once he found what he was looking for, he aligned the tube with your skin. “This will sting a bit.”

Before you could reply, you let out a gasp at the sudden intrusion.

“And you work at the lab, too?”

“Do you always ask so many questions?” Miguel said, waiting for the tube to fill in.

You nodded with a warm smile. “I just like to know what I’m getting myself into.”

You had no idea, but Miguel was testing you, trying to gather as much of your personality as he could. He enjoyed piecing people together like puzzles. It stroked his sense of control.

“I thought Jessica had briefed you.”

“I did,” she immediately said.

“Yet you’re the one drawing my blood,” you chirped happily, your eyes fixed on his.

Well, maybe you had an idea.

Miguel felt the corner of his lips turn into a faint smile.

Good.

He needed perceptive people around.

He pulled away from from you slightly and pressed a cotton pad to the small puncture.

Sliding open one of the drawers nearby, he grabbed a watch, never letting go of your arm.

“This is a dimensional travel watch,” he explain, snapping it snugly around your wrist. “Keep it with you at all times.”

He let go of you and you seized the moment to inspect it closer, fascination never leaving your face.

“Let me guess… you also built this,” you said with a chuckle, pressing on the screen a few times.

He reached out his hand to stop you. “This is not a toy. Lyla will inform you on how to properly use it.”

You nodded firmly.

“Welcome to spider society.”

It didn’t take long for Miguel to start walking in on you sleeping in the lab.

For the fourth time.

He was all too familiar with the riveting excitement that came with scientific progress that often led to many sleepless nights.

But he still couldn’t allow this to keep happening.

Halting a few inches away from you, he took a moment to access the situation: you sat hunched over the lab table, head resting on folded arms and a string of drool dangling from the corner of your mouth.

A heavy sigh parted his lips.

He tapped his foot once on the leg of your chair, causing you to jolt upright with a yelp, nearly falling back from the loss of balance as the chair swayed dangerously.

But Miguel was fast enough to prevent that by steadying you with a firm grip on your shoulder. You then leaned forward, panting and clutching at your chest.

“Good morning.”

You turned your head to stare at him, deep bags under your eyes and sleep lines covering your face. “Miguel! Oh — hi! I’m… oh my… that was such a scare!”

His crimson eyes narrowed slightly. “It’s the fourth time this week.”

Trying to regain some composure, you straightened your clothes and wiped the string of drool trailing down your chin with the back of your hand.

“Right. I was… uh…” you paused abruptly and looked around, as if momentarily disoriented. “Oh. Yeah! I am — was working on running some diagnostics and must have dozed off waiting for the results… and-”

He clicked his tongue and spun your chair around, effectively silencing you, his eyes boring into yours. “This isn’t going to happen again. You need to rest.”

You swallowed. “I was resting…”

Miguel didn’t have neither the patience nor the time for this.

“You need proper rest,” he pressed on with a scowl. “Jessica scouted you for a reason, and if you’re too sleep-deprived to work, you’re of no use to us.”

You broke eye contact with him, lowering your head. “I’m sorry…”

The sincerity in your voice took him slightly aback, and he relaxed his face, wondering if he had perhaps been too harsh.

You were chewing on your lip, staring down at your entwined hands.

He had no idea why, but his heart skipped a beat.

Probably stress.

“Look,” he tried again, softer this time. “I know what it’s like to want more. To do more. I’ve been there,” he then crouched, so he could eye-level with you. “But you can’t keep pushing yourself like this. We have time to figure this out.”

You looked to the side, hesitating at first. “I… was talking to other spiders and some mentioned they feel the side effects of motion sickness if they use the portal more than twice a day,” you went on with newfound confidence, gripping the pad on the table and lighting up the screen. “I’m close to getting the chips to work and ther-”

Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose. “Stop. Stop.”

You did.

“What part of me saying you need to sleep didn’t you understand?”

“I don’t mind sacrificing a few nights of sleep if it means I can help other spiders,” you said, a flash of defiance crossing your eyes. “Seriously, Miguel. I need to get this done… I need it.”

Miguel’s strictness shattered.

He then saw a reflection of himself staring right at him.

So much of your determination and persistence reminded him of his early days as a scientist. The struggle, the hunger for results, the need to achieve something that could help so many…

“I know you’re looking out for me,” you went on, placing one hand on his shoulder and giving it a soft squeeze. “And I’m grateful, but science and progress don’t wait. I know I can be helpful, so let me.”

For the first time in a very long time, Miguel O’Hara was left speechless.

“Please don’t fire me,” you laughed nervously.

He blinked a couple of times and stared down at his watch.

6:14AM

“You can come back in twelve hours.”

Your eyes widened in sheer excitement, lips parting into a wide smile.

He quicky lifted one finger. “If you try to sneak in, I’ll know.”

Your smile faltered, as he saw right through your intentions.

“And I’ll have you sent back to your dimension faster than you can say Nueva York. Got it?”

You lifted one hand in a salute and nodded.

He scowled. “And… stop hanging around Hobie.”

Dropping your hand, you bolted forward from your chair to hug him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

The sudden motion nearly caused him to topple over and you immediately let go of him, as he rose to his full height again.

“Oh! Sorry!” you stepped away, patting his arm apologetically.

He blinked.

Then, grabbing your pad, you began tapping rapidly. “I’m uploading all the data to your watch, so please take a look.”

He blinked again.

You gathered your backpack and threw him a final warm smile. “If you find anything important, please let me know!”

Miguel nodded curtly, but remained rooted in place, as you hurried across the lab and past the sliding door.

His heart skipped a beat for the second time that day.

Then it dawned on him: the last person who had hugged him had been Gabriella.

Miguel should probably call himself a hypocrite.

He was heavily against you or any other spider dozing off in the lab, but he had been indulging in this quite often as of late.

By the time he rose from his slumber, and sat back on his padded chair, he realised something soft had been placed around his shoulders.

He tugged on it and was met with a blanket covered in tiny prints of Peter B. Parker’s face.

This was definitely Mayday’s.

“What…” he drawled out, blinking a few times to adjust his eyes to the brightness that poured in from the windows.

The clock on the wall marked nine in the morning.

He stared down at his desk to find a handwritten note next to a plate of… empanadas?

“Hi~

wanted to wake you up, but you were sleeping so soundly and I didn’t want to disturb you. I found Mayday’s blankie on my lab desk — I suspect Hobie is sneaking her around to pull a prank on me hehe xOx

P.S. Jess told me you like empanadas, so I tried making some for you. Hope you like them~ (I’m crossing my fingers)

P.S. 2 You need proper rest :)”

You.

It had been you.

He glared at the plate containing the pastries, and grabbed one.

His heightened senses allowed him to immediately get flooded with an overwhelming delicious smell.

Taking a bite, he fluttered his eyes shut, allowing the overwhelming combination of flavours to take over.

It tasted so, so good.

It tasted like home.

He rose to his feet and walked out, scanning the lab for traces of you.

But he was met with Jessica instead who had just walked in.

“Oh, you look terrible.”

He swallowed what was left in his mouth. “Thanks.”

Her gaze dropped to your hand. “Oh! Did she make those for you?”

“Uh… yes.”

He felt ridiculous for having mumbled it like that.

The two of them paced along the corridors and into Lab 2, where you were sitting, back turned to them, visibly engrossed in your tasks.

“How’s she been doing?”

He took another bite. “Good. She’s persistent and focused. Those are good traits to have in this field.”

“She reminds me of yourself.”

Miguel wasn’t surprised in the slightest, because it was an undeniable fact.

“Hopefully, she won’t make the same mistakes I did.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll make some along the way,” she shrugged casually. “And she’ll learn from them, as you did.”

Miguel kept his gaze fixed on you and felt a strange need arise in him.

To look after you.

He took the last bite and savoured it in silence, as Jessica eyed him curiously.

“She really is a sweet girl,” she ended up saying lovingly. “She asked me what your comfort food was.”

Sweet girl.

He let the name replay in his head, and determined he liked the sound of it. It was fitting.

“Go on. Say it.”

Miguel arched an eyebrow at this. “Say what?”

Jess threw him a smug look. “That I was right for recruiting her. That you were wrong.”

In truth, Miguel hated having to admit to his mistakes, and it wasn’t even related to his ego or inability to take criticism.

As he had come to learn the hard way, his mistakes would usually lead to catastrophic consequences.

But when it came to you, he had no problem admitting he had been in the wrong. You had proved to be quite capable of handling a multitude of tasks.

… and now you were starting to grow on him.

“Yes. You were right, Jessica,” he mumbled, his eyes fixed on you. “She really is… something.”

She patted his back a few times. “Are you turning into a softie, Miguel?”

He scowled. “No.”

“Go ahead and thank her, then,” she said with a smile.

Miguel didn’t like being told what to do. He had every intention of letting you know he was grateful for your efforts.

But it had to be in his own way.

He parted ways with Jess and mad his way to you.

“Hey.”

You turned in your chair, bearing that kind smile he had grown so accustomed to. “Hi! You’re awake.”

“Cearly,” he grumbled with a shrug.

“Did you like the empanadas?”

He nodded. “They tasted amazing. Thank you.”

Like home.

“Great!” you beamed, your smile never wavering. “You looked really adorable while sleeping. Sorry for not waking you up.”

Adorable…?

He felt a lump form in his throat. Your energy was contagious, and he considered embracing it.

But he didn’t want to cave in…

He was a stubborn man by nature.

But he also didn’t want you to think he was too cold and distant like many in Nueva York thought.

“I want to show you something,” he said, tapping on his watch.

You waited expectantly and the screen in front of your flickered momentarily before a video started playing.

File: Gabriella.006

He didn’t even bother staring at the screen. He already knew by heart its content, and he didn’t want to revist the pain today.

No.

His eyes were fixed on you, instead.

He knew Lyla had already mentioned the event that led to him deciding to protect the multiverse.

He knew you knew of Gabriella.

Of what he had done.

Your smile dropped as the video went on, even though the sound of giggles and splashing water echoed around you.

“I’m not showing you this for you to feel bad for me.”

You shook your head, parting your eyes from the screen. “That didn’t even cross my mind.”

He paused the video.

“Right.”

Your eyes held kindness and your voice became softer. “I know why you’re showing this to me.”

He highly doubted it, but he waited for you to go on.

“We take care of each other here,” you began, twirling your chair to fully face bim. “And that means being open to showing vulnerabilities.”

He remained silent, digesting your words.

“Am I wrong?”

Partially, but he wouldn’t tell you that. The justification he had settled for in his head didn’t come close to your own.

And his heart skipped a beat.

He grown used to it happening whenever around you, but this time it felt more alarming.

More urgent.

“Miguel?”

You were eyeing him with concern, your hand reaching out to touch his arm.

He snapped out of his thoughts, and took a step back. “Send me the files you were working on yesterday. I need to check the coding.”

You gave him a nod, and he saw understanding soften your expression. He had expected you to press him on for an answer, but he was grateful you hadn’t.

“Oh, and… thank you, again. For… you know…” he drawled out as he ran a hand through his hair.

“You got it, Miguel,” you said, smiling sweetly.

Sweet girl.

His sweet girl.

It took Miguel one week to start dreaming about you.

At first, it would be a conglomerate of nonsensical blobs with your face or voice here and there. But as days went by, some began to take shape.

Your shape.

Nowadays, it would be your face and voice that would keep him company after tiring missions.

He had gotten quite fond of it.

Until things took a turn.

And he would wake up with a throbbing ache in between his legs, begging for relief.

That was when he knew he was letting his admiration for you get the best of him.

As he rose from his bed and walked to the tall window in his bedroom, he saw the sun lighting up the horizon line, bathing Nueva York in rays of orange and yellow.

He had built all of this in the hopes of a better future.

But now he started longing for one that had you in it somehow.

As a fellow spider.

A fellow scientist.

A friend, even.

He squinted as his sensitive eyes became increasingly sore from the intense light, so he moved to his bedside table and grabbed the peace of paper you had left him days ago.

Your handwriting mirrored your personality: graceful and captivating.

Maybe he should have tossed it away, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so.

Walking into his living room, he booted up the screens on the wall.

There was this crescendo inside him that urged him to look for you.

He tapped through various sections of the lan, but he found you near the refrigeration area, tapping on your chin with a pencil, as you glared at the screens in front of you.

He wanted to call you.

To hear your voice first thing in the morning.

To commend you for being up so early already and committing to your duties.

Suddenly, he saw your lips turn into a soft knowing smile, and he knew you must have figured something out.

Of course you had.

Your perception and tenacity were unmatched.

As much as he wanted to talk to you, he decided against it.

In his mind, he was too undeserving of anything more than a friendship with you.

He convinced himself that he was not good enough, and that he was meant to watch you from afar.

You were just like a flame. Too close and it burns. Too far away and it freezes.

He grazed his thumb across the screen, close to you.

His sweet, sweet girl.

It would be better off this way. Not for him, of course. He was already in too deep. But it would be better for you.

You deserved better.

But he still craved you.

Miguel recognised the feeling that was started to seep into his heart and mind. He had almost forgotten how suffocating that felt.

He couldn’t tear his eyes from your face.

He couldn’t tear his heart from your hold.

The level of despair was unmistakable and he knew exactly what this feeling was.

Frustration.

Next part (if you can’t access it, click here)

Masterlist

[salmalin]

My sincerest apologies and warmest welcome to my rant about FF7: Crisis Core. Or, as I like to call it,

Propaganda: The Video Game

I say this with the utmost affection. Crisis Core ranks really high up there in my favorite Final Fantasy 7 installments. I played it when it first came out, borrowing it from a friend to play on a borrowed PSP. And, the more I learn about the game and the more I replay it, the more everything lines up.

This game is not about Zack Fair.

This game is about how Capitalistic Propaganda can sink into every aspect of life to the point where it is entirely indistinguishable from reality. And it’s very overt about it. So…

Here we go.

My treatise on Propaganda’s starring role in Crisis Core.

Part One: The Timeline

Something that a lot of people gloss over due to decades of Child Heroes in media—Japanese Shonen and Shoujo series in particular—is how young these protagonists are. We’ll hand-wave a lot of stuff in non-live-action series with just a little bit of suspension of disbelief. And that’s honestly just accepted these days. But here’s the thing about those hand-waves.

Final Fantasy 7 doesn’t do that.

Now, FF7 hand-waves a lot of stuff. For example, how far you can travel in a day by foot, the distance a man weighing approximately 165lbs can jump after being genetically fused with what might as well be a cocaine demon (Jenova), and how much hairspray one can reasonably carry on a cross-country journey while on the run from the feds.

Age is not one of them.

Exhibit A: Yuffie Kisaragi.

Do I really need to say more? She acts her age. So does Zack. And Aerith, even. Most of the characters in the original lineup were over twenty for a good reason. We see several kids in the series, and they all act their age, too—both the OG and the remake. Age is not a thing that FF7 really grapples with. It’s something they take relatively seriously.

Now, to the point.

Zack is 16 when Crisis Core starts…

… and he was 13 when he ran away from home without his parents’ knowledge to join the military.

Which accepted him.

At 13.

Without a parental permission slip.

Think about that for a second.

… Or for the next several parts of this breakdown.

Part Two: The Main Character

As I mentioned in the introduction, Zack is not the main character of the events of Crisis Core. Instead, he is the focal point of the second person POV. This is not the first time Square has done this. It was done most notably with FF9, FF10, and FF12. (I’m not going to go on an Akira Kurosawa rant right now, but please check out his film “The Hidden Fortress”. FF12 and Star Wars episodes 4-6 borrow heavily from this film.) The purpose and position of this character is such that they might best witness the effects the other characters make on the world as their stories unfold, usually in the role of a love interest. For Akira Kurosawa, it may have been told this way because these people are most effected by the decisions being made.

“Well, then, Sal,” you may be asking, “who would you say is the main character? Would that be Aerith, since she’s the love interest, like in the other games?”

No, actually.

It’s the antagonist.

And by that, I mean Genesis.

Hear me out. I used to hate Genesis, for I was once young, full of judgement for flamboyancy (thanks, internalized homophobia), and was led by the narrative to believe he was mean to his friends. Then I met my Lovely beta who loved him, so I wrote a fic for her as a gift. So for that I kinda just… read stuff. Because that’s the thing about Propaganda—you gotta read stuff to navigate it. I read the in-game emails. I re-watched all the scenes I could get my hands on with him. I read his wiki and tried to track down more information about him. Then I watched the scenes in Japanese and gained a better understanding of not just Genesis, but Sephiroth’s character. And I realized that Genesis was put on this road from the start. In fact, a big part of the fact that he’s seen the way he is in Canon—only at his most hostile and lowest points—is because the story is told through Zack’s point of view.

So before we get into the breakdown, here’s the hard facts about Genesis.

1. He was a test tube baby who may or may not technically be Angeal’s fraternal twin brother, which we are not going to unpack right now.

2. He was adopted by a relatively rich family.

3. He was a child genius (which requires not only resources, but drive to achieve), and at a tender young age of like… ten or something? He decided to mess around and literally invented pasteurization. Which is incredible, and really speaks to his knowledge of the world and ability to grasp complex concepts even at a young age. But, again, this is not the time or place to unpack that.

4. He was best friends with Angeal, who might as well have been the sweetest, kindest boy to ever walk the Planet. (I’m biased. I love him.)

5. As a teenager, he became fixated on Sephiroth, who had gained national acclaim as a SOLDIER despite them being the same age. (Please see part 1 and think about that for a second.) He then goes to join SOLDIER and brings Angeal with him. And Angeal brings his step-father’s puritanical “hard work is honorable” mindset with him. (On that note, Angeal and his father’s arc really are a wonderfully scathing letter to companies that overwork their employees and how toxic/unhealthy that line of thinking is. But. Again. We are not unpacking that right now.)

6. At one point he became consumed with LOVELESS, a series of poems with heavy prose and symbolism thicker than syrup. It got to the point where he was so well known for it that there was an entire fanclub dedicated to both him and analyzing the text.

7. While he was in SOLDIER, he repeatedly had his achievements publicly accredited… to Sephiroth.

Over and over and over again.

Everyone did, really. They mention it in the beginning of the game. Sephiroth even got public credit for Zack’s raid on the castle when he wasn’t even there. How much of his legacy is real? How much of it is made up? How much of it was faked? We don’t know. No one knows. But he keeps getting credit, anyways. And when Genesis confronts him about it, Sephiroth doesn’t care. In the Japanese version of their fight scene, you could even say he indirectly implies that he wants Genesis to take his place as the “hero”. In the English, Sephiroth’s line is, “Come and try.” But in the Japanese the line is closer to, “Wouldn’t that be nice?” Which, depending on how you take his tone, can mean wildly different things—from mocking, to earnest, or even admiration—which is especially to tell because he might be annoyed with Genesis at the moment.

Fun Fact: In Ever Crisis, Sephiroth explicitly says they are making up his achievements in the press to target boys his age for recruitment. (Thus why they accepted Zack at age 13.)

My theory on this line is that he is being cynical; that Genesis doesn't understand just how harrowing and even humiliating his experience has been. This only enforces my theory that the "come and try" translation in the English not only does a disservice to a line as wonderfully heavy as, "Wouldn't that be nice?", but fundamentally misunderstands Sephiroth as a character.

8. Genesis then took the fight to Shin-Ra. Inspiring a good chunk of their staff to leave the company, he then staged multiple attacks on facilities, staff, and the main building—which also spilled out into the city of Midgar. He murdered his parents, buried them, killed everyone in town, and… Yeah. It wasn’t pretty. A lot of innocent people died simply because they were vaguely associated with Shin-Ra. These are the actions of a villain. What’s more, this is clearly a sign that he has been acclimatized to death and violence by Shin-Ra to the point where he doesn’t even consider taking hostages.

Except.

Except the entire town was a Shin-Ra town.

Banora, canonically, was a Shin-Ra built town, which means everyone there was basically an employee of the company. No one was safe. Everyone was a threat. And that…

That was how he was raised. And he finally knew the truth—that every moment of his life was touched, controlled by Shin-Ra, all the way down to his very conception. He has never known freedom. He has never known his own identity. And now that very cage was killing him, slowly and painfully, and turning him into something that couldn’t even be recognized as human. He was watching himself rot in the mirror, and it was all because of Shin-Ra’s greed. And as he searched for salvation, he sunk into LOVELESS as he always had, hinging his entire life on Minerva’s Gift because he knew he was dying and that was all he had.

9. And then he died…

10. … but then it turned out LOVELESS was actually kind of a blueprint, and he did meet the Goddess, and he did get reborn without his degradation so he was rewarded for his journey in the end.

So why wasn’t Genesis the main character of the game?

Simple.

His actions challenge the status quo without being about the status quo. It’s a story about revenge. It’s a story about retribution. It’s a story about answering mass violence with mass violence and ultimately being rewarded by it. And while, yes, the series is an action-based violence simulator, the violence in the original FF7 was a guided, tactical effort. (For all that the characters aren’t the brightest bulbs in the sun lamps.) But the biggest, most obvious shift in the narrative happened when they realized their role as terrorists—bringing mass violence to the company via bombing and open aggression—was just resulting in increasing levels of retaliation against uninvolved people. They might as well have been a child beating the ankles of a giant. The goals and themes of the game fundamentally change when they realize that answering mass-scale societal violence with mass-scale physical violence was not only unsustainable, but also wasn’t going to solve their problem.

FF7 is about change and learning when violence—and what kind of violence—is appropriate in the face of different threats.

Genesis’ arc undermines all of that, and making him the main character would contradict the very heart of the OG game.

So, instead, we are positioned as Zack, connected to him through a mutual friend. From there we see all the damage and horror this vengeance brings to those living under the status quo.

But also, that plotline’s a major downer in a lot of ways, so they needed to lighten things up a bit to keep audience involved. And that’s why Zack is, well…

Part Three: Zack is a Himbo

Please, for the love of all that is holy, keep in mind that everything I say here is with the utmost affection.

Zack is dumb as a rock.

He is a charismatic, enthusiastic sixteen year old jock who ran away from home at thirteen years old to join the military. Which, please know, why I say “military” I mean “private security guard force with a standard-issue Death Baton and a license to kill”. The first scene in the game is him being excited that he gets to murder a bunch of people in a simulation, which he is immediately scolded for by his mentor. He is a glorified, souped up private security guard who is canonically only in it for the glory at first. He wants to be a “hero”, but doesn’t seem to fundamentally know what that means. And, over the course of the story, the definition of that clearly changes for him.

Which tracks, because the story takes place over a period of time with high stress.

Occasionally I see people saying they wish that Zack had more complexity to him, and honestly? The game. Would be. SO. BAD.

Full Disclosure: I am not the biggest fan of Zack specifically because he lacks a lot of nuance. I wish he was a bit more complex, too. But I also know that would break the game. What’s worse, if he was still on Shin-Ra’s side because he understood Shin-Ra’s mission… Well… That would make him a villain, or a cog at best. That’s not main character material. It would make the ending more messed up, though.

Anywho, Zack was thirteen when he left home. He had no formal education. He didn’t tell anyone what he was doing. He even joined without a permission slip from his parents. This means that Shin-Ra was accepting thirteen, possibly fourteen year olds into the military. (Some people will say this tracks because you can get a job at fourteen in many parts of Japan. But, and this is important, you aren’t allowed to be a security guard until you’re quite a bit older, and you need a specific license for it, much like in the US.) Clearly they didn’t teach this boy critical thinking skills. Not because he’s a himbo, but because having their Super-Powered Private Security Force With A License To Kill think independently would explicitly go against their interests. (EX: Genesis.)

Shin-Ra needs SOLDIERs to follow orders or the company would no longer be able to function. Seconds and Thirds aren’t even allowed to reject missions. (One could argue that sending certain someone on back-to-back missions would be a good way for them to eliminate undesirables within the ranks by sending them to their deaths, which… would make an incredible fic idea, actually.) We already know that First, Second, and Third Class rank assignments do not actually reflect the power of the SOLDIER. This is canon. I would instead argue that those who make the rank of First Class aren’t necessarily the most powerful, but are instead the most visible in the media, thus the easiest to market, and/or the easiest to manipulate and control. (For a great example of this, see The Umbrella Academy.)

The point is, Zack may have been elevated to his position as a first specifically because he is malleable and single-minded. Even after all he saw with Genesis, he stuck by the company to the very end, with the exception of the time Sephiroth was literally guiding him to fail a mission. Zack allowed himself to take Shin-Ra’s side every time, taking down their enemies and following their orders, preserving his “honor as SOLDIER” as he had been taught. The only thing that made him stop…

… was literally getting put in a jar.

It was when he was no longer a SOLDIER.

Part Four: Honor

There is no such thing as SOLDIER Honor.

I repeat: There is no such thing as SOLDIER Honor.

It is a fictional thing that is borne of an ideology based around hard work. It only has power because it is believed in. It is an intangible social construct similar to the law, mathematical order of operations, and gender roles. So why are Angeal and Zack obsessed with it?

Pretty simple.

Angeal’s step-father followed it.

Now, we know three things about Angeal’s step-father.

1. He was chill with the fact that Gillian was already pregnant when they started dating.

2. He was a very good father.

3. He worked himself to death trying to pay off the sword he bought Angeal.

This, of course, says a lot about Angeal considering he rarely uses the sword. He essentially sees that sword as the symbol of his step-father’s life. Everything he uses it for, he sees as more important than his step-father’s life. That thing is usually Zack.

Zack, who is the child who joined the military based on stories of heroes.

Zack, who rises against Angeal in the name of his own step-father’s ideology and tries to talk him down, even at the very end. But Zack fails because he fundamentally doesn’t understand what’s going on, partially because “Soldier Honor” is just one more aspect of this narrative he was given. It is a narrative that Angeal has had to step away from, even though he doesn’t want to leave the memory of his step-father behind. He was a good man. He was a good, hardworking man.

And that is why he died.

Corporations will use you up until there is nothing left, then honor your memory/sacrifice. Shin-Ra was doing the exact same thing the company his step-father worked for did; using up SOLDIERs until they outlived their usefulness. And Angeal was horrified to realize that his “SOLDIER Honor” wasn’t honor at all.

It was willingly submitting to control.

But, unlike Angeal, over time, this meaning changed for Zack. Partially because he didn't understand it fully in the first place. It became about acting with integrity. It became about helping people. It became about not lying down and watching the abuse Shin-Ra handed out in exchange for literal money; for maintaining the status quo.

At the very end, Zack understood what it meant to be a hero.

Part Five: The Conclusion

To sum up, Zack believed in and idolized the propaganda spread by Shin-Ra at such a young age, and was so convinced by it, that he ran away from home at thirteen to join the military.

He was their target demographic, so they happily took him into their ranks. What’s more, people think this is normal enough that we see no one opposing this, because the only people who oppose Shin-Ra are “extremists” or “violent terrorists”.

Zack then became their loyal puppy, groomed to fill his role as super-powered attack dog to sick on anyone they deemed appropriate, and he filled the role. He believed he was doing good. He didn’t think they were invading another country, because that’s not what he was told.

He went after Genesis, because that’s what he was told, and he wouldn’t let Genesis’ actions shake his faith in the company.

Then he went after Angeal, hoping to get answers, only to become more confused. Angeal taught him about SOLDIER honor. He taught him about a higher calling. He was the one who made Zack truly loyal to the company. This challenged everything Zack knew.

He went with Sephiroth, planning a small rebellion of their own (a white lie on paperwork) to get answers, only to find things he wasn’t ready for and couldn’t fully understand.

Zack is shaken by each of these events. Horribly. At times, we even watch him grieve. But time and time again, he doesn’t leave the company. He sees the damage they do first hand, and he doesn’t leave the company. The company isn’t the problem, to him. He reads their emails, does their dirty work, and “maintains his SOLDIER honor”.

Zack swallows what they give him right up until what they give him is torture.

Zack swallows what they give him until he becomes their victim.

Every step of the way, Zack is fed a story of how the world is. He was raised on it. He lived it. He became part of it. He was paid peanuts to enforce the status quo Shin-Ra installed in the world by force, and he was proud of it because it was, to him, something to be proud of.

Zack believes the propaganda whole-sale, and we get to watch, from the point of view of an outsider, as it slowly destroys his life before killing him.

Propaganda has the power to make suffering normal. Propaganda has the power to make murder righteous. Propaganda has the power to take a thirteen year old boy out of his home so they can give him a sword, and when they point him in the direction of their enemies he charges of his own volition, because they made him believe in their cause. And he believes in their cause because he believes that it makes life better for everyone.

But that’s not what’s actually happening.

That’s just what he was told.

Crisis Core is about propaganda, and the depths to which it can affect our lives. It changes our belief systems. It changes our perceptions of reality. And when it’s torn down around our eyes, it can make us go insane. It can make us violent and unreasonable as we realize just how much violence is being forced upon us—violence other people just plain do not see. It's just a a piece of paper. It's just a law. It's just a job.

It's just a war.

Final Fantasy 7 was about Fascism.

Crisis Core is about the propaganda that built it. It is told from the point of view of a boy, then a man, steeped in it. He watches until the people suffering around him—Sephiroth, Genesis, and Angeal—are twisted into villains by the truths and lies around them. Genesis and Angeal are tortured by truths, Sephiroth is transformed by lies, and Zack is subsequently hunted down to conceal them.

Crisis Core is Propaganda: The Video Game.

[lustchan]

POV: You are a maid in Gojo Satoru's house and he comes back from work one day very stressed. So you try to cheer his up by making his favourite meal but it looks like he wants to eat something else 😏😏

You jump as you hear the front door slam as Gojo storms through the vast halls. "He must have had a bad day" you think in your head just as he approaches the kitchen and stands by the doorway. You bow in greeting but all he does is look you up and down and then to the pot that was boiling on the fire for his food. When he left you notice that he had wrinkle lines on his forehead and set to make something to cheer up your boss.

You decide to make his favourite dessert : zunda and cream mochi , to accompany his meal. After about an hour the cream kikufuku is ready and so is his spaghetti Bolognese, all cooked fresh. You set it on a tray and walk up the long winding stairs up to Gojo's room, knocking on his door and calling out in a soft voice that his food is ready.

When he doesn't answer you warn him that you are coming in and push open the door with your elbow. You hear the shower running and realise that he is in the shower, place the food down on the bedside table and begin walking out. Then something lying on the floor catches your eye- it's an old photograph with a man with long black hair and a scar on his forehead with his arms around Gojo's shoulders.

You are so invested in the photo that you don't hear Gojo coming out of the shower and walking towards you until he puts his hand on your shoulder with immense force.

"What are you doing here?" He asks you in a low voice , a little too close to your ear. With the photo still in your hand , you don't dare turn around. Instead you reply in a shaky voice, "I-I was j-just bringing your food up to you, " You close your eyes when you say this unsure of what will happen to you if you open them. He breathes heavily, his warm breath tickling your ear as you let out a quiet whimper.

"Where did you find that photo?" He says more forcefully as he snatches it out of your hand. You hesitate to reply but then you say, nearly crying "I f-found it on the f-floor,"

He lets you go and you can hear his footsteps recede to his drawers to put the photo in. You stand facing the bed not knowing that Gojo was busy staring at your ass in your maid dress. Maybe it was because he was pent up or because he was stressed but Gojo could feel his dick become hard as he stared at your back a little longer.

You stood there awaiting dismissal but soon felt that something wasn't right. You turned slowly to see Gojo red in the face , his towel elevated by his erection staring intensely at your behind. You tried to turn away like you didn't just see your boss's dick poking out through his short towel that hung loosely around his toned waist, but he was faster. He walked quickly towards you , trapping you between his chest and the wall next to the bed.

"Y/N," He said as he towered over you , his minty breath hitting your nose.

"Y-yes Gojo-san," You stammered, your face becoming hot as you suddenly felt a wave of heat rush over you. Who would have thought that one day your rich sexy boss would be pinning you against the wall, his raging hard on poking you as you thought to yourself "Holy shit his dick is big" i over and over again.

"I want to do so many naughty things to you- will you let me?" He whispered softly as he waited for your reply. "Wow" you thought to yourself, "and he asked for my consent as well, he is literally perfect"

But even so, you nodded your head and said a shy yes. Gojo didn't waste any time and started by diving in for a kiss as he pushed you softly on to the bed. He slipped his hot wet tongue into your mouth as you explored the warm cave of his mouth. Gojo grabbed the hem of your dress, pulling it upward towards your head taking it off so fast that soon enough his mouth was back on yours pulling you closer and closer and he grinded on you.

You moaned into his mouth feeling his 9 inch cock rub on your clothed clit. His dick wasn't even fully hard yet and it was that big- you were losing your mind. He removed your underclothes until you were just in your sexy lingerie set , fishnet tights and your black heels. He opened your legs wide, giving him a good view of your soaking wet pussy as you looked up at him with the most erotic expression he has ever seen.

"Fuck, I'm going crazy," He said panting as he looked at your face. "You make me crazy," He jabbed a finger at you to emphasise the 'you'. Then he brought his face up to your pussy and licked you through your thong. You moaned out his name as he moved the cloth to one side and began feasting on you like a hungry beast.

"Aah~ Gojo-san~," You moaned as he flicked his tongue up and down pushing you towards your climax. Just as you were about to cum he stopped. You looked at him in confusion.

"Why did you stop?" You asked , pouting.

Gojo chuckled and climbed onto the bed positioning himself in between your legs.

"You think I'm gonna let you have all the fun? I'm struggling not to ruin you right now," He said as he slipped two fingers in your tight hole to prepare you. At this point, his dick was slack against his defined abs and you couldn't help but feel bad because his dick looked as if it was going to burst any minute.

You reached out and grabbed onto his dick with your hand that wasn't gripping the sheets and begun stroking him slowly. He let out a grunt as his long fingers came in and out of you as if searching for something. Suddenly he pressed something that made you jolt, your mouth hanging open in pleasure but you made sure as not to slow down the pace on Gojo's dick.

"Hehe, found your spot," He said with a smirk that made butterflies in your stomach.

"Gojo-san, um, I think I'm ready now," You said , not being able to take it any longer.

"Mhmm, look at your needy hole twitching like its begging to be filled with your master's cock, needy little slut," He said smirking down at you.

"Ngh~," You moaned at the name 'slut'. Even though it was an insult to some, it turned you on even more.

He lined up his throbbing dick with your pussy and slowly pushed himself in. You gasped at the intrusion but soon found yourself moaning as you felt a warmth grow in your stomach. You were sure that you were completely filled but when you glanced down you saw that not even half of his length had gone in yet.

"Fuck, Y/N. You're so tight." He groans pushing all of himself in you as you started to shake from your orgasm. He stared at you in awe before smirking and leaning down to whisper in your ear-"You came from me just putting it in?" He chuckles softly before thrusting into you hard. You moan loudly as he pounds into you at a steady pace.

"Who told you to cum without your master ,huh?" He says looking down on you.

"N-no one , Gojo-san." You stammer , playing along.

He suddenly flips you on all fours , gripping your hair as he slammed into you hard.

"It's not 'Gojo-san' , it's 'Master'," He says into your ear. You didn't need to see his face to know he was smirking.

"Aah~ M-master~aah~ngh~,"You moaned as he slammed into you at a god-like speed, your moans and the sound of skin slapping filling the room and bouncing off the walls. Thank God the walls were sound-proof in this mansion or else the other maids and servants would be very shocked to hear the noises coming out of the room.

You could feel yourself nearing your climax as Gojo's hot dick went in and out with a squelching noise. Gojo, on the other hand, could feel himself coming closer and closer to his orgasm as his thrusts became more sloppier. He grabbed your chin and turned your head to kiss you as you could feel your orgasm approach.

"Aah~ Master, I-I'm cumming," You said.

"Haa, me too baby," Gojo said. After a few more thrusts your body shook as your orgasm rippled throughout yourself. At the same time you felt Gojo release hot liquid inside your twitching pussy. When both of you rode out your orgasms, Gojo flipped you over looking at you as you lay panting on the bed. Then he run his hand through his white hair and smirked down on you as he put one of your legs over his shoulder, his dick up against his stomach again.

"Time for round two~"

Pt.2 here

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

You Love Me, Now Act Like It

Day #27 - You'll Be in My Heart | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: M | CW: Language, Mention of Weed | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie, Gareth/Di (OC), Previous Steve/Di (OC) | Tags: Bickering, Fools Being Fools, Love Quadrangle, Not Really, But Gareth Sure Wants to Whine About the Past a Lot

"Yeah, well, you've fucked my wife!" Gareth yells, and Steve rolls his eyes.

"Every damn time? That's your only card to play?" Steve asks, not getting riled, not even a little bit. "You don't get to hold that over my head forever. You wouldn't have even met her if it wasn't for me. You're welcome, by the way."

"That's not true. You don't know that!" Gareth snaps, even if they all know that's definitely true.

"Well, technically, I'm the one that went over and said hello," Eddie adds, just to put a little gasoline on the fire.

"Eddie," Gareth says, a warning that he better take his side.

Eddie's not choosing sides in this dumb fucking fight. It's old news. 

Hopefully they both just simmer down.

They do not.

"And I'll dick her down again, remind her of what good sex actually is, if you don't shut up," Steve says, and Eddie has to turn around to hide his smile. 

Steve's choosing absolute violence today, and Eddie loves him a little bit extra for it.

Gareth explodes, and Steve is running, cackling. 

They fight like this all the time, and this is always where it ends up. 

Ten Years Earlier

"Is that Steve Harrington?" Gareth asks, and Eddie jerks his head over to where Gareth is looking. Son of a goddamn bitch, it is. It definitely is.

Steve's standing next to Robin, and has his arm slung over the shoulders of a girl Eddie doesn't recognize. Girlfriend, probably.

"I'm gonna go say hi," Eddie says, and Gareth rolls his eyes.

"Of course you are. He's got a girl, what do you think you're gonna accomplish?" Gareth asks, but he trails along after him.

"Don't know, don't care," Eddie says, and pushes his way through the crowd. He hasn't seen Steve in years, not since Hawkins, when he missed his chance. His window, when they were looking at each other, like…maybe? 

And he ran, too scared of what that could mean. For him, for them, for the band, if he tried to make a move.

Tonight though, he's older and not at all wiser, as he slides his hand along Steve's shoulders, over his back, and Steve jumps a little, turning to see who's touching him.

"Holy shit!" Steve says, dropping his arm from the girl's shoulders, and flings them around Eddie's neck, squeezing. "Eddie! What're you doing here?"

Eddie hugs back, "Playing tonight," he adds, nodding towards the stage.

"Awesome. That's so fucking cool, what a small world," Steve says, still holding on for dear life.

Eddie is the one that steps back first, he always is, however reluctantly, but he holds Steve's arms, looking at him, "You look great. You too, Buckley. And you as well, stranger," Eddie says, laying on the charm. Like he doesn't want to fuck her boyfriend. 

He definitely does.

Has always wanted to, if he's honest with himself, which he rarely is.

"Di," Robin fills in, when it's clear Steve wasn't jumping to introduce her. 

"Yes, sorry! This is Di. Diana. My girlfriend. I know Eddie from home," Steve explains, reaching over and taking her hand. Eddie sees her smile up at him. He hates her.

"This is Gareth," Eddie offers, resting his arm across Gareth's shoulders, so he isn't tempted to touch Steve again.

After the show, Eddie leans against a wall, head close to Steve's face, so they can hear each other over the music.

Gareth's on the couch, sitting between Robin and Diana, his back turned on Robin as he talks to the pretty girl he doesn't know, instead of the lesbian he does. Robin looks less than thrilled with the direction the night has taken. 

Then, Jeff and Goodie are standing over her, holding out a joint, an offer. And Eddie smiles as Robin nods, getting up and following them.

"If you're gonna be in town, we should, I don't know, catch up. Go on a double date or something," Steve says, and Eddie finds himself nodding before he even realizes what he's agreeing to.

A double date? With who? And that's when he realizes that Steve thinks he's with Gareth, which, no. But if that gets him out with Steve for the night, sure, why not? Eddie wants to spend a little time with Steve, before Steve's gone again, maybe to be seen in ten more years. Five, if Eddie's lucky.

Later, Steve and crew gone, Eddie corners Gareth, "We're going on a double date."

"With who?" Gareth asks.

"Steve and his girlfriend," Eddie says.

Gareth cocks his eyebrow, "Well, I sure hope you mean that I'm going on a date with Steve's girlfriend."

Eddie laughs, he wishes.

"I mean, if you can make that happen, kid, you'll never have to buy another beer in your whole life," Eddie says, slinging his arm over Gareth's shoulders, "It's just one night. Do it for me?"

"Fine, but this is stupid. And I hate you," Gareth says.

"You love me," Eddie answers, "now act like it."

Present Day

Eddie finds Gareth sulking by the bar. 

"Stop letting him get to you, that's why he does it," Eddie says.

"I know," Gareth grumbles.

"Does it really bother you that much? Di loves you, kid."

Gareth smiles, "I know. But, I don't love thinking about it."

"Then stop thinking about it," Eddie advises, "You're the one that always brings it up."

"He put his dick in my wife!"

"Recently?" Eddie prods.

"No," Gareth says, pouty.

"Then think about how many times he's put his dick in me since then," Eddie says.

"Thanks for that mental image," Gareth says, then looks at Eddie, with a shit-eating grin, "I could use a beer to help fix this atrocity your boyfriend has committed against me."

Eddie laughs, but opens his wallet. 

Sure, he's had to buy a lot of beer over the years, and Gareth didn't really steal Di from Steve, that fizzled on its own, but it's still been the best deal Eddie's ever made.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

[buckyshoneybunny]

The White Wolf (Part 2)

Wolf/Alpha!Bucky + Wildlifephotographer!curvy!reader   

W.C- 1000 

Warnings- None really, slow burn 

A/N- OMG!!! Thank you for all the likes, comments, reblogs, and follows!! You have no idea what this means to me! Anyway, I’m so sorry this is late, I hope you all love it though! Part three will be in Bucky’s POV! I will try to get the next part out sooner but shit kinda got busy here so no promises. Anyway hope you enjoy! (Let me know if you want to be added to the tagslist)

Taglist-  @blackbirdwitch22 @lesleurs

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 Masterlist Series Masterlist

Duffle bag in hand, you run all the way back to Bucky’s cabin, which was a lot farther then you thought. You run in and toss your bag on the couch.  

“Bucky?” You call, even though you know he isn’t here. You run back outside.  

“Steve!” You yell. You run around the forest yelling his name for what seems like forever. You come across a group of cabins, sitting on one of the porches you see Steve, two red heads, another guy, and a brunette.  

“Steve!” You speak desperately.  

“Y/N?” He gets up and walks over to you, confused. “What’s going on?” 

Before you can answer, the scarier looking red head speaks up, “What the hell is a human doing in here?” 

“There’s no time for that!” You pant.  

Steve puts his hands on your shoulders, “Y/N, what’s going on?” 

“It’s Bucky, he’s gone! H-he was supposed to be waiting for me at the edge of the woods but when I got back, he was gone and there was a blood where I had last seen him. I-I can’t find him a-and-” 

“Y/N, deep breath. It’s okay, we’ll find him. I think I already know where he is.” Steve cuts you off.  

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves. “How can you know what happened?” 

“A regular person couldn’t have taken him; it would have to be another werewolf.” 

“Rumlow,” the other man growls.  

“Who’s Rumlow?” You ask, confused.   

Steve explains that he’s the leader of the other pack, that Bucky and him are rivels. You also learn the other man is Sam, the other people in the pack are Clint, Wanda, Natasha, Kate, Yelena, and Peggy. You explain how you met Bucky. 

“You mean to tell me Barnes didn’t kill you?” Natasha grins and tilts her head. “Did he happen to sniff you?”  

“Yeah, he buried his face in my neck,” you laugh.  

“Oh my god!” Sam laughs, “You’re Bucky’s mate!”  

Your eyes widen. “What?”  

“Werewolf's can only smell their mate,” Peggy, Steve’s mate pipes up. 

“B-But that’s impossible, I’m human, there’s no way I’m his mate,” you feel like you’re dreaming, this whole day so surreal.  

“I’m human.” Peggy says.  

“Really?”  

“Oh yeah, it took me a while to wrap my head around it too. But once I did, everything fell into place.” She smiles and looks at Steve, she’s in his lap. He looks back at her with heart eyes.  

“How does the whole claiming, marking, and rut thing work though?” You ask, you have headache at this point.  

“You have to be claimed in front of the pack, if you weren’t human then it could just be you and Bucky but the pack needs to see it happen to officially welcome you.” She explains.  

“Is that what you did?” She nods. There’s rustling in the woods behind you, you all turn to see the other man, Clint, running towards the cabin in his wolf form. At the last second, he transforms into his human form. 

“I found drag marks leading to Rumlow’s camp,” he pants.  

Steve and Sam jump up, “Let’s go,” Steve says. “You girls stay here.” 

“Wait but-” 

“No, Y/N, wait here while we check it out,” Steve interrupts you.  

“But Steve-”  

“If they find out you’re Bucky’s mate, they’ll kill you without a second thought. Stay. Here.” You nod. 

As the boys leave, you plop back into your seat and put your face in your hands. “I can’t help but think this is all my fault,” you mutter.  

“I mean it kind of is,” Yelena’s Russan voice answers.  

“Lena!” Natasha, her sister, scolds.  

“Look, Barnes is strong, he’ll make it out alive and then you will be reunited again,” Yelena adds, gentler this time.  

“Yeah, but what happens then? Do I just drop everything to be with Bucky? I can’t just drop everything, my life I-” 

“Y/N, calm down, let's just focus on bringing Bucky home, okay?” Natasha cuts you off. You nod.  

The boys come running back.  

“He’s there,” Sam pants.  

“What’s the plan? How can I help?” You ask, frantically. 

“You,” Steve grabs your shoulders. “Need to go to Bucky’s cabin and mark it with your scent.” 

“Huh?” You ask with a dumbfound look on your face.  

“He has a plan, but when he gets loose, he’ll be a feral alpha wanting nothing more then to claim his mate.” Steve answers. “Go.” 

You look at everyone unsure and worried. Natasha stands up.  

“Go, it’ll be okay.” She gives you a reassuring smile.  

As you walk back to his cabin you can’t help but spiral in worry. What if he doesn’t like you or make it back safe? What will your parents and friends say, will they think you’re crazy? Every single ‘what if’ runs through your mind, but every time Bucky crosses your mind, it’s like a soft comforting presence settles over you.  

Just as you reach the cabin’s front porch, the sound of a twig snaping breaks you out of your thoughts. You tense when you hear a growl, one that sounds nothing like Bucky. On instinct you dart into the cabin, shutting the door just in time.  

Looking out the window you see a wild haired wolf, chipped teeth, and scary looking. You slide down the wall, the weight of everything finally catching up with you. You break down in tears, yearning for the one person who can make things better.  

Once you finally calm down you set about ‘marking’ his cabin with your scent. You throw clothes here and there, lay in his bed and couch, did basically anything you could think of to make the place smell like you. 

The next couple of days are spent twiddling your thumbs, not so patiently waiting. When finally on the second night you’re woken by a familiar growl. Looking over at the owner of the noise, you see two steel blue eyes shining in the moon light staring back at you. A shiver runs down your spine.  

Bucky. 

[punkshort]

look what we've become - ch.8

Chapter Summary: Your POV from captivity. You learn some interesting information about the Fireflies and run into an unexpected person from your past.

Chapter Warnings: language, graphic depictions of violence, blood, torture, one teeny tiny 'daddy' reference (couldn't help myself, more of a nod to the fandom than anything), infected, reader gets roughed up, description of injuries and pain

WC: 4.7K

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

"You said take the girl, so I took the girl!"

"I meant the fucking kid, not her!"

You stifled a groan, your eyes still shut tight, unable to handle the brightness from the overhead lighting. Your head was spinning, and if you moved too much, your stomach heaved, so you laid as still as possible, hoping and praying whatever was going to happen would happen quickly.

The smell didn't help, either. You had no idea where you were, but your cheek was pressed up against a cool, tile floor and the entire room smelled like rot. You heard a muffled, rhythmic thumping against a wall in the corner of the room. It felt damp and humid, like maybe you were in a cabin or a basement. And you definitely were not alone. Once you woke from whatever drug they had slipped into your neck, you did your best to still appear asleep, hoping that maybe you could find out some helpful information while your captors still thought you couldn't hear them.

The two voices continued to argue - a man and a woman - about the mix-up. Ellie. They were after Ellie, not you. That frightened you even more.

How long has it been since you've been taken? Hours? A day?

Joel would have made them leave. He wouldn't have kept her there after he realized what happened. If not to protect her, he would have moved to try to find you. As much as you didn't want him to come looking for you, to put Ellie in harm's way, you knew he would. You had no idea how many people were part of this group that took you, but it was definitely too many for Joel to handle on his own. And he wouldn't waste time going back to Jackson for help.

You needed to get out of there before Joel got himself killed trying to find you.

The voices continued to talk, the volume increasing, the words becoming clearer. They were getting closer to where you were tied up on the floor. Why did the one voice sound vaguely familiar? Did you know these people?

"We sent another crew out to fix your fuck up," the woman said, her shoes squeaking on the tile. "You better hope they find her, or it's your ass."

"Yes, ma'am," the man's voice said weakly.

"I know you're awake," the woman's voice said icily. Part of you wanted to remain still and call her bluff, but her boot was too close to your already tender head, and you didn't want to risk another hit. You allowed one eye to crack open, the light like an icepick in your brain. You brought your hands up to shield your eyes as you struggled to sit upright with your wrists and ankles tied together.

When you finally sat up, you leaned your head back with a sigh, trying to get your bearings and calm your churning stomach before forcing both eyes open to look at your captor for the first time.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," you croaked, surprised at how rough your own voice sounded.

Amy laughed and jumped up on a gurney behind her, swinging her legs back and forth over the edge, the motion making you nauseous the longer you watched.

Amy. Joel's ex-fiancée and the woman who helped lead the group of animals who took you both in long before you found Jackson, under the guise of it being a safe community but failing to mention that community ran on a very primitive form of currency.

"Yeah, thought you'd be happy to see me," she said with a chuckle, flicking her dirty blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Elated," you said dryly, sliding your eyes back closed.

"If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't exactly thrilled to see you, either."

"That does make me feel better, thank you," you snapped, opening your eyes again to glare at her.

"You do realize I hold the key to your release, right? Maybe treat me with a little respect," Amy said, the fake smile slipping from her face.

"You and I both know I'm not getting out of here," you replied, but she shook her head.

"Not necessarily. If we can't find the girl, you're our contingency plan."

You narrowed your eyes, the rage beginning to burn deep in your chest. Knowing you would regret it, you asked the question anyway.

"What do you mean?"

Amy smirked as she slid down from the gurney and bent down to look you in the eye.

"What I mean is, he would do anything to get you back. Including giving up the kid."

Something in you snapped. You lunged forward, swinging your head and smashing it directly into her nose. You heard the distinctive crunch right as the blood began to pour out of both nostrils. She stumbled back in shock, clutching her face while she howled in pain. Even though your head felt like it was splitting in two, you grinned. Worth it.

Once the pain subsided, she dropped her hands, her face smeared with dark red blood, her nose turning purple and swollen, clearly broken.

"You fucking bitch," she muttered. She took one step forward and swung her leg back, the toe of her boot coming in direct contact with your cheek. You squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to make a single noise indicating you were in any pain, not giving her the satisfaction. But the blood that was pooling in your mouth told a different story.

Amy laughed as she watched you spit blood on the tile next to you.

"You're gonna regret that," she said, walking backwards towards the door. "Your people really had us chasing you all over the goddamn place, even lost a few friends. I got some guys outside who would love to break a few of your bones for all that."

As the door slammed shut, you finally allowed yourself to take a shaky breath in and look around. Even though you were alone, you still heard the thumping coming from the corner of the room. You leaned forward, trying to see what was causing the noise, but all you saw was a small room with a stainless steel door sealed shut. There were gurneys everywhere, some of them broken, some not. Between you and the door there were six flat, stainless steel tables in front of what looked like refrigerators. Chancing a look up at the lights, you noticed some appeared to be the type you might see in a dentist's office or an operating room. Then it dawned on you.

You were in a morgue.

You couldn't be sure how much time had passed. You lost consciousness a few times. Amy wasn't kidding. The men she employed were pissed, and they took it out on you with every punch and kick. Each time you woke up, you felt a new pain somewhere in your body. A new broken bone or a new cut. Eventually, Amy returned, and even in your wrecked state, you still found a sliver of pleasure seeing her nose taped up and the dark bruise blooming under each of her eyes.

"Had enough yet?" she asked with a smirk. You snarled in response and spit more blood on the ground.

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you to tell me where Joel and the girl are," she said, holding her hands out to her sides like it was obvious.

"I have no idea," you said truthfully, struggling to sit up.

"Okay, why don't you tell me where home is, and we can start there?" she offered, and you laughed.

"You should just go ahead and kill me if that's what you want," you told her, glaring at her with one eye, the other swollen shut already.

"Don't think we won't," she said, tilting her head to the side as she regarded you silently for a moment, her thoughts clearly drifting to something else.

"What?" you asked her through gritted teeth.

"Don't you think he's a little old for you?" she finally asked, her eyes raking up and down your body. You knew it would always boil down to this. You knew she could never see past your relationship with Joel. What he was willing to do for you, what he has done for you, what she lost and would never have.

"What, do you have daddy issues or something?" she asked with a scoff.

You smirked as more blood trickled down your chin, the cut on your lip refusing to heal.

"Sometimes he likes it when I call him daddy, if that's what you mean," you told her. The face she made was worth the kick to the head. You giggled and coughed, the pain and the smell and the insanity of everything happening finally hitting home.

"He's gonna kill you, you know," you said with a grin, leaning up against the cool tile wall. "Even if you kill me. Especially if you kill me, he will find you, and he will kill you."

Amy was smirking at you, but you saw the look in her eye. It was fast, but you caught it. She knew you were right.

"We'll see," she said, backing up so she could lift herself up on one of the stainless steel tables. She watched you for a moment, blood trickling out of every wound, bruises deepening in color with each passing minute. You were pretty sure your arm and a couple ribs were broken and you most definitely had a concussion, but you refused to show any weakness. You glared at her from your spot on the ground, waiting for whatever was going to happen next.

"Do you know what we do here?" she asked you. The question took you off guard.

"Other than torture people? No."

She laughed at that.

"We're trying to make a fucking vaccine," she told you, like she expected you to be grateful. You already figured that much out, but you didn't say so.

"How's that going for you?" you asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It would be a lot fucking better if we had that goddamn girl," she told you. Her emotions were getting the best of her. You could hear it with every word, and it put you even more at ease. They were desperate.

"Oh, yeah?" you said. "That's a shame."

"Do you have any idea how many people sacrificed themselves for this cause?" she asked, her brows furrowed. You shrugged.

"Enlighten me."

"Countless," she said, jutting her chin towards the room in the corner. You looked over at the closed door. The thumping was fainter when you were alone, but now that Amy was talking, the noise started up again.

"There's a lot of people who are immune, you know," she began, and you felt your muscles tense. "So many of them gave their lives to help us find a cure. We are so close. Our doctor just needs one more, and that kid is the answer." You began to put the pieces together, and the noise in the corner was starting to make sense. You felt your stomach roll.

"Sounds like a really shitty doctor if they let so many people die," you told her, and she scoffed.

"He's brilliant. You have no idea how difficult it is to extract DNA in this type of setting, and - I don't even know why I'm bothering," she said, shaking her head. "The point is, that girl could save us all."

"You said it yourself. There's a lot of people who are immune," you mumbled. You could feel yourself fading but you fought to stay awake. "Find someone else."

"Fuck that," she said, jumping down from the table and crouching in front of you. "Where is she?"

"Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you," you whispered, your good eye sliding shut.

"Don't you dare pass out!" she shrieked, slapping you across the face. The adrenaline perked you up for a few seconds, but the blood loss ultimately won, and you slipped back into darkness.

You woke up to the sound of gunfire coming from the floors above you. The noise was faint, but it was distinctive. Pop, pop, pop. How long were you out for this time? Was it nighttime? There were no windows, you had no semblance of time other than the hunger that gnawed at your insides as more hours passed without food or water.

You blinked and looked around, confirming you were still alone before trying to sit up. The blood loss was too much, your head was pounding, and your side felt like you had been hit by a bus. Slumping back down, you took a few deep breaths before trying again. The gunshots were getting closer, and your adrenaline was spiking, giving you the little boost you needed to force yourself up. You looked down, trying to assess the damage to your body. Your upper thigh had a big, weeping gash, probably the culprit for the majority of your blood loss. Your one eye was still swollen but you could crack it open just a bit now if you really had to. Your cheekbone felt like it might be broken, and a few ribs were definitely broken, but at least your knees and ankles were good. If you could cut the ties, you could run. Or stumble.

As the gunfire got closer, the thumping against the door in the corner of the room got louder. There was no doubt in your mind at this point that they kept infected in there, and you just hoped you weren't still tied up if they got out.

Your brain was foggy, you were having a hard time staying focused, but the panic began to set in. Why was there gunfire? What was happening? Then a hazy thought drifted by in the back of your mind. Joel?

There was no way he could have found you this fast. He wouldn't have put the pieces together. You barely could keep up with what was happening. But then the door handle jiggled and a small form snuck into the room quietly and you thought you must have been dying. Surely, you were hallucinating, your brain short circuiting as it began to shut down, because there was no possible way Ellie was actually crouching in front of you, repeating your name urgently as she tugged on your restraints to no avail.

"Shit, hold on," you heard her mutter, setting the familiar looking hunting rifle on the floor next to her so she could fish her switchblade out of her pocket. Yes, you were most definitely hallucinating. Joel wouldn't have given her his rifle. Unless...

"Is he dead?" you rasped, finally finding your voice. Ellie paused with her switchblade hovering over your ankles and frowned at you.

"Joel? No," she said, shaking her head as she began to saw on the restraints, freeing your legs and then moving to your wrists.

"What's..." you tried again, but you could feel yourself fading and all you could hear was that fucking thumping in the corner of the room and the gunfire down the hall.

"We're getting you out of here," she said, tucking her shoulder underneath your arm and hoisting you up with a grunt. You muffled a cry at the pain shooting down your side, blood gushing down your leg again now that you were moving.

"Oh, fuck," she whispered, leading you over to a gurney so you could steady yourself before she dug into her pack for an old shirt. She bent down and wrapped it around your thigh as tight as she could, wincing as she double knotted it before she stood back up.

"Can you move?" she asked, her eyes wide with panic. You nodded, but you weren't sure. If Ellie had the rifle, where was Joel?

As if an answer to your question, Joel burst into the room and slammed the door shut behind him, frantically looking around before pulling a table over to barricade it. You must have looked worse than you thought because when he finally turned around to look at you for the first time, his face crumpled for a moment before he quickly collected himself and rushed over.

"What'd they do to you?" he murmured in your ear as his arms came up to wrap around your middle. You winced and leaned back, your hand coming up to your ribs to tenderly cover the spot he just squeezed.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes raking down your body, trying to take stock of your injuries.

"It's okay," you said. His eyes flicked to the corner of the room where the noise was reaching a fever pitch.

"Oh, shit," Ellie muttered, her attention also pulled to the locked door.

"We gotta get you outta here," Joel said, seemingly making the connection much quicker than you did. "Can you walk?"

"I think so, but I can't go fast," you said, bending over and holding yourself up with your arms braced on the gurney. For the first time, you noticed the blood. He was covered in it. Splashed up his jeans and boots and all over his hands, some even sprayed on his neck.

"That's fine," he said as he began to push the table away from the door. The noises from the locked room got even louder as the table legs screeching on the tile floor.

"There's too many of them, Joel. We can't-"

"Yeah, we can," he said, cutting you off. He was turning to look at you, still in disbelief while he opened the door, not paying attention as someone pushed their way in, knocking him to the ground with the stock of a rifle.

He fell with a groan, his hands coming up to clutch the side of his face as Amy quickly locked the door behind her. She aimed her rifle at Joel's chest, and he dropped his hands to the side, staring up at her like he was seeing a ghost.

"What the fuck?" he whispered, and she smirked.

"Nice to see you, too, baby," she snarled, her nose still taped and her eyes still black.

"Who's she?" Ellie asked under her breath at your side, but you just shook your head. Amy glanced up and let out a shaky laugh when she saw Ellie.

"After everything you did, Joel, you still lost," she said. You looked between them, confused and barely holding onto consciousness. What did that mean?

"What the hell happened to you?" Joel asked her, his voice laced in disgust.

"I got with the fucking program, Joel! That's what!" she yelled at him before taking a step back, the rifle still aimed at his chest.

The door handle began to rattle violently with all the yelling. You could see it being pushed open a crack from the other side, then hands wrapping around the edge of the door until the lock broke and it finally swung open.

Joel scrambled to his feet and grabbed his revolver from his side while Ellie shouldered the hunting rifle as infected came pouring out, their screams making you wince.

Gunshots rang out, a few infected fell, but Amy's gun jammed and a runner knocked her down. She rolled off to the side and kicked it in the chest, sending it flying backwards right into Ellie, the gun falling from her hands.

You picked up Joel's rifle as quickly as you could in your weakened state, but right as you took aim at the infected's head, you watched its teeth clamp down around her arm. You both screamed, Ellie in pain, you in fear as you lodged a bullet right into the back of the runner's skull, its body falling limply to the side. You dropped the gun to the ground, too exhausted and weak to hold it anymore. Ellie scrambled up and swiped frantically at her arm, watching as the blood trickled out.

"Are you okay?" you asked, reaching out to her. She nodded and looked up at you, her eyes suddenly going wide.

"Look out!"

You ducked just in time to avoid getting hit in the back of the skull with Amy's rifle. She fell forward on her hands and knees, then scrambled to grab Ellie's ankle, yanking her down and pulling her against her chest.

You vaguely heard Joel's gun still firing behind you, taking down infected, when you watched Amy's arm wrap around Ellie's throat, her face going red while she gasped for air. You didn't even think, you just reacted. Ignoring the pain, you surged forward and pounced on top of her, yanking her arm off of Ellie's neck with every ounce of strength you had. Ellie rolled to the side, kneeling and coughing with her hand gingerly touching her red skin while your fingers gripped Amy's neck. She clawed at your hands, panic filling her eyes as she looked up at you helplessly. You put all your weight into it, squeezing with all your might and praying you didn't pass out before ending this once and for all.

In one last ditch effort, Amy dug her thumb deep into your wounded thigh, making you cry out and loosen your grip. She tossed you off of her and you collapsed next to Ellie with a loud thud. Forcing herself to her feet, Ellie stood over you protectively, her switchblade held shakily in her hand as blood trickled slowly down her arm and dripped onto the tile floor next to your head.

The room finally seemed quieter. You chanced a look towards Joel. He was standing on the other side of the room, surrounded by dead infected and panting for air. When he turned to the three of you, you finally noticed the huge gash on the side of his head from where Amy hit him. His blood dripped down his neck and below his collar, his shirt absorbing the dark red drops.

Amy grabbed the rifle you abandoned and swung around, aiming it at the pair of you as she walked backwards. Joel kept his revolver trained on her as he slowly made his way over to your side of the room.

"You just ruined all our chances at having a fucking life again, Joel," Amy seethed, her eyes boring into his.

"Should've thought about that before you took what's mine," he grumbled angrily, standing next to you now. You curled into a ball on the floor, the pain too much to handle.

"If you'd have just brought us the girl in the fucking first place, none of this would have happened and we wouldn't have touched her," Amy retorted, jutting her chin in your direction.

"The hell's so special about the kid?" Joel asked, but before she could answer, a telltale click, click, click echoed in the room, and you all froze. Your one good eye popped open as you watched a clicker stumble from the room in the corner, snapping its teeth and swiping mindlessly at the empty space in front of it.

Joel glanced down at your state, knowing he wouldn't be able to pick you up and get out of there in time. Ellie gripped her knife tightly as she watched the clicker get further into the room.

You could see the look in Amy's eye. She was glancing around frantically, trying to figure out a way to use this to her advantage. But lucky for you all, you thought of it first.

Carefully, you reached out in front of you, your fingers picking up the bullet casing on the floor from when you shot the runner. Before you had time to overthink it, you tossed the casing to the other side of the room, the metal clinking right between her feet.

The clicker turned towards her and shrieked, its arms flailing wildly. Amy panicked and backed up, but her sneakers squeaked on the tile and that was all the clicker needed. You watched as its hands gripped her shoulders to hold her steady while its mouth ripped violently into her neck. Blood gushed everywhere, puddling on the floor and causing her to lose her footing. Her screams reverberated in the room. You covered your ears, trying to muffle the sound until her screaming eventually stopped.

While the clicker was still distracted, Joel snuck up quietly behind it and lodged a bullet in its head, and the room finally filled with silence again.

Joel turned around as Ellie was helping you back on your feet. He noticed the blood dripping down her arm and his body stiffened.

"You were bit," he said, staring at the blood seeping through her shirt. Ellie looked down at it and then looked back up at him, shaking her head and backing away slowly.

"N-no, it's fine, really-"

Joel held up his gun, pain flickering across his face.

"Joel, don't," you said, but he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. She's bit, we can't-"

"Put the gun down, Joel, and listen to me," you told him, taking a few shaky steps to the side so you stood between him and Ellie.

His arm immediately dropped when you blocked his shot, and he looked at you with despair in his eyes.

"There's nothin' we can do, I'm sorry kid, but -"

"She's immune, Joel!" you yelled, cutting him off again. He froze, stunned, as his eyes flicked back and forth between yours and Ellie's.

"What?" he finally whispered.

"It's true," Ellie said from behind you, then she pulled up her sleeve and showed him her old bite. "Got it a couple months ago. See? It's all healed."

Joel stumbled back a bit, catching himself on the edge of a table as he tried to follow what was happening.

"Wh- how?"

"I don't know, some people just... are," she said, her gaze dropping to the floor.

"It's why they wanted her so badly. They were trying to use her as a guinea pig to make a vaccine," you added.

"You knew?" Joel asked, looking at you with hurt in his eyes. You nodded, your lip trembling.

"Listen, I would love to tell you everything I know, but can we do it in the fucking car?" Ellie asked, growing impatient. You could tell Joel was still struggling with this new revelation, but he knew you were in desperate need of medical care.

"You so much as twitch -" Joel said, storming over to her now and letting himself trail off.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Can we go now?"

If you weren't in so much pain, you might have laughed at how cavalier she was about the whole thing.

Joel found a beat up looking wheelchair and helped you into it. He instructed Ellie to push you while he led the way down the hall. He picked up an assault rifle from one of the dead bodies as he made his way to the elevator. You glanced around at the carnage as you waited for the doors to open, then looked up at him by your side.

"Did you do all of this alone?"

He looked down at you, his eyes lingering on your one open eye for a moment before nodding curtly. As you filed onto the elevator, you tried to examine him for any injuries, but aside from the hit to his head and a few minor scratches and bruises to his knuckles, he appeared fine.

The doors opened up on the main level and you gasped. If you thought the basement level was bad, it was nothing compared to the main level. Ellie pushed your wheelchair through the blood on the floor, her footsteps and the wheels leaving imprints as you went. Joel went up ahead to push some bodies out of the way and make a clear path for you to get to the front door.

"Truck's right out front," he said.

"Joel, how did you... do this?" you asked, still hardly believing what you were seeing.

"What'dya mean?" he asked, his hand on the front door, ready to push it open. You looked up at him and swallowed the lump in your throat, unable to comprehend what you were seeing. He let his hand drop to his side so he could kneel in front of you and pinch your chin between his fingers, giving you a gentle kiss.

"I did what I had to do to get you back."

Tag List @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @nastiasnow @amyispxnk @plz-be-solo @iloveramensm @caitlynsixxx @anoverwhelmingdin @harriedandharassed @jessthebaker @txtattoostark @merz-8 @sarahhxx03 @oscarissac2099 @motherjoel @silas-222 @b3l1nd5 @rocket-raccoon-silvie @missladym1981 @angie2274 @maried01

[its-time-to-write]

Ok first of all I love Jamie and I love how you write him.

What about a secret girlfriend or wife that no one knows about who is really smart and they’re discovered but it’s the POV of others. And they’re all shocked that such a smart person is with Jamie.

Like Roy or some team members.

I have a hard time doing other’s POV’s. I’m sorry. This is the best I could do. Thank you so much for requesting!

island made of faith

You’re a familiar face around Nelson Road long before anyone realizes why.

You suppose people just think you’re friends with somebody else, like how Ted thought you were friends with Sam, Sam thought you were friends with Dani, Dani thought you were friends with Higgins.

Everyone finds out in their own, memorable ways, and by the end of it you just wish you had taken Rebecca up on her offer to post a public service announcement. 

You’re there because you’re dating Jamie, obviously.

How it took everyone so long to figure it out, you don’t know. You think it’s because you’re always talking to everyone that no one notices Jamie’s arm is slung around you in a more-than-friends type of way. I mean, to be fair, Sam slings his arm around you. So does Dani. Richard is constantly flirting with you and so is Bumbercatch, but that’s just how they are, so no one pays attention when Jamie does the same thing and you blush just a little bit deeper than the others.

Maybe they’re just dumb.

Anyway, here are a few of the more unique ways people find out:

Ted finds out because you and Jamie are making out in the parking lot late at night, after everyone else has gone home. He immediately recognizes Jamie’s bright orange shirt and ICON hat, but is unfamiliar with whatever girl he has pressed against his car. Ted isn’t one to shy away from embarrassing one of his kids, so he shouts, “Good night, Jamie!” from across the lot. You both jump and break apart, leaving Ted to see Jamie’s surprised face covered in lipstick smudges and your embarrassed one, illuminated under a light. 

Ted is surprised as well. He didn’t know you were dating Jamie, and he says as much. He says he’s happy for you both, but he still has that same look of surprise. The next day, he assumes you two are trying to be secretive about it, because he doesn’t say anything in front of anyone, and you and Jamie don’t bring it up.

Dani finds out right after Sam, and it’s because he’s showed up at Jamie’s house on a Saturday morning with a large bottle of tequila and taco supplies. Jamie had forgotten about their breakfast taco plans, so you’re not expecting Dani when you open the door in one of Jamie’s t-shirts, hair messy from sleep. 

Dani looks at you, you look at him, and you yell, “Jamie,” without breaking eye contact. Jamie thunders down the stairs, says, “oh shit,” and that’s how you, Jamie, and Dani come to be taking tequila shots at 10:30 in the morning while putting the most outrageous things in between Dani’s homemade tortillas and having the audacity to call them tacos.

You’re not too far into your second taco when Dani points between you and Jamie and says, “It doesn’t make sense, amigo.”

Jamie looks at him. “What do you mean, mate?”

“You and her,” Dani replies, “She has such intelligence, and you’re you.”

A Look flashes across Jamie’s face and Dani hurriedly says, “I mean no offense, Jamie.”

Jamie grins and says, “None taken, muchacho,” and leans over to kiss you. 

Dani ends up passed out on your couch by 1pm.

Higgins finds out two days after Van Damme because Jamie needed a ticket for you. “That’s sweet to look out for her,” Higgins says, “She’s kind of like the team’s sister, isn’t she?”

Jamie lets out a snort. “She sure isn’t my sister.”

Higgins looks up from his computer, surprised.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Jamie clarifies. “That’s why she’s around all the time.”

“Oh!” Higgins replies, “That’s, well, that’s a little bit, well, shocking if I do say so myself.”

Jamie nods once then shakes his head, confused. “Sorry, how d’you mean?”

“Well,” Higgins seems flustered, “she just- I suppose, she’s just incredibly intelligent, and well-educated, and usually girls like that don’t go for star footballers.”

Jamie just looks at him. Higgins shrugs. “You know it’s true, Jamie. Look at her friends and see what types of men they go for.”

Jamie’s just at the point of feeling like absolute shit when Higgins says, “She’s lucky to have you.”

Now Jamie’s really confused, but Higgins continues, “I’ve noticed she smiles a lot more since she started coming around. She isn’t as quiet as she used to be. Rebecca was just saying the other day that she seems more- comfortable. She’s special, you know. Not many women go beyond exteriors to get to a man’s heart the way she does. She knew you had a heart of gold the moment she saw you. Take good care of her, because she’s a keeper.”

Jamie says, “Oh. I will,” because what else does he have to say to that? He’s out the door so he almost misses when Higgins says, “I know you will, Jamie.”

Jamie tells you about it later that night, and, because it’s dark, he doesn’t see you frown.

Other people find out in similarly “interesting” ways. Richard asks you out and then when you say you’re dating Jamie, asks, point-blank, “Why? You are so smart and so beautiful and he is so, comment dit-on,” here he searches for the right word and settles on, “he is so not.”

You wrinkle your nose at him and say, “I’m pretty sure he’s smarter than you,” and then go to find Ted to ask him if he has any food allergies, which is why you’re even in the smelly weight room in the first place.

Roy hears about it from Keeley, and he walks up to you after training while you’re waiting for Jamie to finish showering.

“Why the fuck are you dating Tartt?” he asks, no preamble. By this point, you’re getting pretty annoyed with what people think of Jamie. You make a mental note to murder the next person who reacts like this.

You glare up at Roy. “What’s it to you?”

Roy shrugs. “He’s just a prick. And you’re not. You’re actually fucking smart. You use more words in a sentence than he has in his whole brain.”

“Don’t fucking talk about Jamie like that,” you say, anger radiating off your whole body. You’re shorter than Roy, but you swear you can be scarier. “Say something like that to me again and I will personally wax your eyebrows off.”

Roy takes a step back, hands up in defense. “Oi, look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit a fucking nerve. I say shit like that to him all the fucking time. I didn’t mean to set you off.”

He’s sincere, which causes you to deflate a little. You peer behind Roy to see if Jamie’s on his way out yet. He’s not.

“Look,” you say, “everyone has been giving us shit when they find out about me and Jamie. They say something really mean about me being smart and him being dumb, and I’m over it. He’s way smarter than any of you give him credit for, and you all just don’t pay attention because of his accent or his himbo energy or whatever, but I pay attention, and he actually has a fantastic grasp on the difference between academic and conversational language, a distinction many intelligent people cannot make. I just want everyone to back the fuck off.”

Roy says, “Shit,” and then Jamie’s bounding out the doors and you do your best to dispel the previous tension.

Roy looks at you both thoughtfully as Jamie gives you a quick peck and then opens your door. Maybe he and the team are too fucking hard on Jamie, although he’ll never fucking admit it.

—

You’re slicing carrots a little too violently when Jamie brings it to your attention by saying, “You trying to murder them, love? Pretty sure they’re already dead.” 

You look up from your pile of carrot shreds, pulled from your thoughts. Jamie smiles, the dopey one he does to make you laugh. You barely crack a smile, which wipes the grin off his face. Now he’s concerned.

“What’s wrong, babe? This about the fuckin’ carrots?”

You shake your head. “No. This is not about the fucking carrots.”

“What’s wrong, then?” he asks. “You’re obviously thinking the carrots are something else, so what is it? D’you need me to kick someone’s fucking nuts in? Is it Roy?”

You ask, “Why would it be Roy?” in a tone that states it wasn’t not Roy.

Jamie shrugs. “I dunno, maybe the fact that your face looked like a thundercloud two seconds before I kissed ya, or the fact that his fuckin’ eyebrows were scrunchier than usual.”

That makes you smile for real. “How did you even notice that?”

Jamie smiles back, relieved that you’re no longer hell-bent on chopping the carrots and pretending they’re someone else. “I’m a genius at body-science,” he jokes. “I’m as smart as you, I just hide it better.”

That statement brings back your cloudy face and suddenly you’re ranting about Dani and Higgins, Richard and Roy, and anyone else who made similar comments including (but not limited to) Beard, Bumbercatch, Jan Maas, and a goddamn pub regular who you think is named Baz. 

You’ve finished your knife-waving and put it down safely on the cutting board when Jamie pulls you into his arms and kisses you. It catches you off guard, so you pull back for a moment.

“Want to go upstairs?” he asks.

Incredulity is written across your face. “I say all of that, and you want to go have sex? Please explain your logic.”

Jamie grins. “Babe, they’re gonna think what they’re gonna think. Can’t change it. Been using it to my advantage actually. So, I don’t care. But-” he continues, “I think it’s fucking sexy that you care. Hence, me fucking asking you to go have sex.”

You have to admit, that is a good logical jump. And he used the word hence. Correctly.

You concede and let him pull you away from the carrots.

—

You’re at Nelson Road again, this time in the locker room. Sex with Jamie be damned (not really) but you still fucking care. It doesn’t help that someone from work commented on your relationship in the same way the Richmond team has, a comment you shut down with something along the lines of inappropriate workplace conversation and I’m technically your boss.

Basically, you’ve had enough. You storm into the locker room and climb on the middle bench.

“Oi!” you shout above the din. The team quiets down almost immediately. “If I hear one more word about Jamie being out of my league, or his intelligence, especially when all of yours is highly questionable, I’m going straight to Ted and I’m telling him what really happened that night at last month’s away game.” You hold up a hand. “And don’t say he won’t believe me, because I know for an absolute fact he will take my word over all of yours any day, especially in this because it makes more sense than that bullshit story you fed him and Beard. Under stand?”

The team nods and mumbles, “Yes ma’am.”

“I cannot hear you,” you return snappishly.

You’re almost deafened by the “Yes ma’am!” they deliver in unison.

“Good,” you say. “Now, since I’ve all got you here, who’s coming for family dinner this Friday?”

Hands go up around the room and Jamie just stands back in awe. How the hell he landed someone like you, he has no idea. But he’s not worried about it. He doesn’t need to know. He’ll let everyone else worry about that.

[asexual-juliet]

saw the outsiders musical last night (7/20/24) and thought i would make a little post about some of my favorite parts!! brody, sky & daryl were out so i saw trevor wayne as pony, josh strobl as johnny & henry julián gendron as two-bit!

there’s a bit after pony gets jumped by the socs where darry and soda are cleaning the blood off his face and when they’re done and have gotten up johnny comes and sits next to him and takes out a rag and starts also cleaning pony’s face <3 it’s so so sweet

henry does a couple little opt-ups as two-bit in both grease got a hold and hoods turned heroes where i was like “ooh!” i adore daryl tofa so i was a little disappointed when i found out i wouldn’t be able to see him but henry was SO fantastic!! such a talented dancer and you could tell he was having so much fun with the character! such a standout for me.

was deeply impressed by how many items were successfully thrown and caught in grease got a hold like holy shit dude

the LIGHTING in great expectations has pony pointing his flashlight at darrel on “darrel was on his way up in the world” & johnny on “johnny has no kind of chance in this world” and then as the verse goes on he points it at all of the greasers standing all over the stage and the light lingers on them for the rest of the song it’s so fucking cool-looking! and during the chorus the stage starts to look like a starry sky which is a choice they bring back for the little great expectations reprise at the end of far away from tulsa. 

the moment where pony & johnny do their little cool guy walks over to cherry and marcia at the drive-in with their popped collars was so precious to me

i ADORE cherry valance and i ADORE emma’s take on her!! her little convo with pony at the drive-in was really sweet and i loved that they chose not to make the dynamic feel like a crush on ponyboy’s part it was such a nice moment of two people finding and genuinely understanding each other so deeply <3

lighting sound & everything was so next-level during the fountain scene-bob’s death like i don’t even think i can describe it it was so much and so crisp and so visceral in the absolute best way

staging for run run brother was SO cool — there’s a part at the end where they use the tires and boards from the set to make two platforms that the other actors can roll them back and forth while johnny is on one and pony on the other and they roll them away from each other and they are both reaching out so desperately towards each other its so fantastic

i also really liked the part in run run brother where dally gives pony his jacket like he just wordlessly put it on for him it’s so nice

lighting & subsequent blackout at the end of run run brother as pb&j are in the air after jumping off the “train” was ELITE

pony is holding johnny’s switchblade during death’s at my door and at the end of the song johnny reaches out to take it from him but he doesn’t pull away so he’s just holding pony’s hand and then he puts his other hand over pony’s too and they sit there like that until the lights go down <3

LOVED what they’ve done with darry’s character here!! i know people have some nitpicky things with it but he is such a fascinating character and i’m so glad that the musical theater medium was able to do so much with him that the limited pov of the novel couldn’t — brent comer plays darry so so well and my heart aches for him like fuck dude he cares about his brothers so fucking much and he’s doing his best and he’s so so tired :((( give him a break!!

jason schmidt’s voice is SO fantastic holy fuck throwing in the towel was GORGEOUS!! and the little bit at the end where soda hugs darry and it looks like he maybe kisses him on the head a little is so darling <3

the entire “do i look like julie andrews?” scene is so fucking good… genuinely made me laugh out loud. “fine, paul newman, then!” “…no shit?” is so fantastic and johnny’s little “she is pretty as hell :)” about cherry is adorable. and ofc the “goldilocks and her ugly sister” line is fucking great

the way that johnny perks up when he hears “say hey to johnny for us :)” in soda’s letter is so cute

the church fire scene is perhaps the coolest shit i have ever seen onstage

ponyboy is crying so hard after johnny dies that has to sit down on the floor of the hospital room and soda sits behind him and just holds him <3

ponyboy is like actively crying as he narrates dally’s death its so fucking heartbreaking. i liked that they drew the parallels between the train crashes in order to make dally’s death meaningful despite its departure from the book. and the detail about the train derailing when it hit him was wonderfully written. 

there is a scene where ponyboy is like inconsolable sitting on the living room floor with his head in his arms after johnny and dally die and cherry comes by the house because she has been volunteering at the hospital and no one came to pick up johnny’s clothes after he died and she thought ponyboy should have them and she tells him there’s a letter in the pocket addressed to him and after she leaves he just sits there for a while and when he finally moves he picks up johnny’s jean jacket and fucking like hugs it and buries his face in it and it’s so so so heartbreaking and soda has to come over and start reading the letter to him before johnny appears and starts singing stay gold <3

johnny starts SR at the beginning of stay gold while pony is sitting on the car at SL but he is slowly moving closer to pony as the song goes on and right before they start singing in harmony johnny sits down next to him <3 <3 <3

josh’s stay gold made me CRY!! especially him and trevor singing “i have known a love that many never know / and that love lives on no matter where i go” holy shit. their voices blend together so beautifully

overall i fucking ADORED trevor’s ponyboy!! he embodies the role so so well and has such a fourteen-year-old boy vibe when he’s onstage that i definitely did not expect from an actor in his twenties! i’ve heard that his pony is a little more emotional than brody’s & josh’s and that was a choice i really really vibed with!! and his voice was like jaw-dropping, what a talent!!

stagedoor afterwards was so so wonderful! i made drawings for the entire cast and everyone was so so nice and seemed to really like them! the ensemble & understudies especially seemed really thrilled that i had made something for them

henry in particular was so so sweet and seemed like he couldn’t believe that i had drawn him! he was like “is this me for real?” and someone (i think it was trevor) told him to look at the back where i had written his name and a little note and he was really excited about it!! he actually was like “this is awesome i have to go inside and give this to my mom right now so i don’t lose it” and his family was right inside the stagedoor and he pointed me out to them and they were so excited! he gave me a hug too it was really nice :)

trevor was also really excited and was like “this is a drawing of me for real? not brody?” and he was so happy when he turned it around and saw his name <3

i gave melody and sarahgrace copies of the same drawing of both of them and as soon as i gave it to melody she immediately looked around to find sarahgrace and show it to her (she was still inside but it was very cute) and then she told me they were going to put it on the wall in their dressing room!!

sarahgrace was like “omg you even drew my bracelet!” and was excited when i pointed out the detail i put in for the pattern on her dress!

trevor yelled across the sidewalk to tell josh to stop talking to his (trevor’s) mom as a joke lmfao

everyone except jason & kevin c came out to stagedoor and they were all so so sweet!! got photos with most of them and they all signed my copy of the book!! overall such a fucking fantastic experience! the drawings were a lot of work but it was so nice to see the looks on the cast’s faces when they saw them!!

[dotster001]

Haii!~ How are you? Good I hope! I absolutely LOVE your stuff and I'm crying tears of happiness just to see your requests open :D I had an idea and after I read your fic "For tuna" I knew you were the one for it. I was wondering how Leona would react if his Tsum went and got something for his s/o. I can imagine it'd be chaotic lmao ANYWAY! Take your time answering and take care of yourself! And thanks a lot for your amazing work 🥹✨️

Tsum Leona

A/N: pov, your cat woke you up at two, and you couldn't fall back asleep, so you wrote this 😂 anyway, hope you enjoy this!

"When interacting with someone from a different nation, you must act with diplomacy and gentleness until such time as you know their customs."

That's how he'd been raised…but did that apply when the someone was clearly yourself from a different dimension?

Two seconds. That's how long he'd taken his eyes off his dreaded tsum to tell Ruggie that Jack's tsum was too loud. He had assumed that the lazy thing would continue to sleep where he left it.

Then he turned around and it was gone. With a groan, he and Ruggie began to search the places he himself would be: his room, the greenhouse, the tree in courtyard, the spell drive pitch. Nothing.

And it was then that Ruggie suggested where the insufferable creature would most definitely be.

Storming off to Ramshackle, angry that this idea hadn't come to him first, he grabbed your doorknob and turned it, since you had an open door policy. But this time the door was locked.

He fucking knew it.

He gripped the knob and busted the door down with his shoulder, thoroughly startling you, and the tsum whom you had been petting on your lap.

How dare he?

That was his pillow!

Your jaw was on the ground and you stuttered, trying to collect your thoughts.

"Spit it out, herbivore!"

The tsum smiled at him smugly.

"You're not a stuffed toy?"

"Why does everyone think-no! I'm not a stuffed toy!"

"I just assumed, since we have a lot of lab accidents-"

"I don't have lab accidents. Also, the portal opened right over your house! How did you not know?"

"Portal?"

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Seriously, how are you not dead yet? It doesn't matter, why are you petting him so lovingly?"

You looked down at the tsum, then back at Leona. Back and forth. Then you held up your wrist, displaying a shimmering silver band, with an L engraved on it, that he'd bought for you for your next date.

"You rat, you stole that from me!" 

He launched at the tsum but it was too fast, and he ended up kabedoning you on the couch. But there was no time to look at your cute flustered face, he had to tear that tsum to shreds.

It bounced out of his reach again, and he quickly followed. He crouched down, wiggled his tail to calibrate, and was about to pounce when your hand on his shoulder startled him.

"Leo, relax!" 

"The runt is moving in on my herbivore! With my gifts, no less!"

You wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled into his hair.

"I never thought I'd actually have to verbalize this, but I'm not in love with a stuffed toy."

"You thought you were when you thought it was me."

"Key word being I thought it was you. Not some stuffed toy. Which, again, is something I never thought I'd have to explain."

The tsum decided to nuzzle it's way back into your lap. Leona grabbed it and was about to throw it when-

"Leo! I'm not entirely sure what's happening, but isn't it highly probable that if there's a stuffed version of you somewhere out there, then there's probably a stuffed me?"

You picked up the tsum, and held it in front of his face.

"And I bet the little kitty cat misses his herbivore."

The tsum jumped up and down happily, as if to indicate that you were correct. Sometimes he hated how incisive  you could be, because it meant he had to be sympathetic to a stuffed toy that was nuzzling against his lover's neck. 

He growled lowly, before picking up the tsum and walking towards your busted door.

"Leo?"

"I get what you're saying. I really do. But I need to make sure I'm close to the school so that when Crowley can send this rat home I can punt him through the portal. You get it," he said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. He didn't give you the chance to respond as he sprinted back to Savannaclaw.

....

Tag list- @shytastemakerthing @leonia0 @eccedentesiast-sapphic @leoll

[icejjfishesz]

003. ༺RED HANDED༻∘

a/n: i hate this chapter tbh but i'm excited for the next one 👀

summary: after getting unexpectedly left by your roommate, you find yourself in need of a replacement.

contents: reader is down bad. paige in a situationship. kinda angsty. this chapter is from paige is pov but it's not in first person if that makes sense 😭😭

previous. next. masterlist.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

it’s not weird being this attracted to someone in such close proximity to you. is what paige thinks every time she sees you. after your little late night interrogation a week ago, paige has started to see you differently. it’s an almost out of body experience for her considering she’s never allowed herself to stray too far away from olivia. normally, when she starts to develop these minor feelings for another person she’d just distance herself from them…but that’s kind of hard to do when you live with them.

“i swear you’re never paying attention to anything ever…” azzi chuckles in paige’s direction, shaking her head at the confused look paige gives her. paige is sitting on her gaming chair but it’s faced away from her entertainment system, towards the bed where azzi is laying.

“my fault.” paige clears her throat and shakes her head as if she’s trying to shake away her thoughts. thoughts of you. “what were you saying?”

azzi just stares at paige for a few moments before saying. “is it olivia…again?”

she rolls her eyes and grumbles. “the world does not revolve around olivia.” she says it slowly. like if the words left her mouth with enough conviction, even she could believe them. it doesn’t work.

azzi laughs again. “okay, sure, but your world kinda does…i mean, if she asks you to jump you’ll say how high.”

okay, maybe that’s true… it's definitely true. but even then, it wasn’t like paige relies on olivia.

“sometimes it kinda feels like you rely on her.” azzi continues making paige sigh to herself.

about a year ago, paige met olivia at the library. she was the first and only girl she had been with after she realized she also liked girls. at the beginning, all they really did was talk. about anything. everything. paige told her all the things she’d never told anyone before: her insecurities, dreams, feelings about the little things…and olivia always listened. with rapt attention. paige appreciated how it never felt like she judged her for any of the shit she told her, she just listened and understood and that felt like magic. she had been chasing that feeling for months now but to no avail. maybe that’s why she stays. a foolish part of her feeling like eventually she could get that feeling back.

“you’re annoying…” she mumbles and azzi chucks a pillow at her.

“i’m not wrong though…”

paige opens her mouth to reply but pauses when she gets a call. olivia.

azzi snickers again, shrugging as if to say ‘point proven’ when paige immediately picks up the phone. she gives her friend a pointed look as if to say ‘shhh’. putting the phone to her ear, she mumbles hello softly but guarded –– preparing for either apologies aplenty or immediate hostility considering that they haven’t spoken since their argument last week which caused olivia to stomp out of the apartment.

“why haven’t you called me?” olivia mutters dryly on the other line, paige shuts her eyes and sighs. immediate hostility it is.

“i just thought you wanted space…”

“what? so you can spend extra time with your little ‘roommate’? no way.” 

paige practically flinches at the mention of you. unsure of why the very thought of you gives her goosebumps. it felt like time stopped. as if paige had a moment to process not only olivia’s words but her reaction to them. she clears her throat before continuing.

“oh my god, how many times do i have to tell you it’s not like that, liv!” paige begins to get frustrated at the girl on the other line. feeling herself get defensive as soon as she hears how upset olivia is. azzi puts her airpods in as she tries to ignore the impending argument.

“then what is it like?!”

“she’s my roommate.” paige stresses over the phone, groaning as she speaks. ever since olivia found out you liked women, she’s been overly jealous at the amount of time paige spends in your presence. “that’s all.”

“liar.” olivia scoffs, the simple word is spoken gently but it’s duplicitous. the tenderness of it only meant to mask the true emotion behind it in hopes of getting a genuine answer. only meant to hide the anger.

“what — “

“you’re attracted to her.”

that brings paige pause. she didn’t expect olivia to notice. that got her wondering if it was obvious. was olivia just being jealous per usual or did she actually know. could everyone tell? could you?

“oh? nothing to say now?” olivia spits out, venom laced words mumbled bitterly through the phone and bleeding out of the speaker into paige's ear. it’s whiplash. she gives paige fucking whiplash. going from yelling to gentleness to calm to anger.

“liv…” she sighs. “you’re being crazy again.” 

wrong thing to say…

“crazy?!” she shouts again making paige roll her eyes. 

then it stops. all the shouting and the malice. it melts down until all that remains is a monotone voice which scared paige far more than any of the yelling or mood swings ever did. “so you’re denying that you’re attracted to her?”

paige swallows, not wanting to hesitate but not sure of exactly how to respond. the obvious answer was to lie and say no ––– claim that olivia, who didn’t even want to date paige,  was the only one she wanted. but then she let her thoughts slip to images of her telling the truth. saying yes. ending things with olivia. it almost felt too freeing. like discovering uncovered territory, new and open and terrifying. would it make her happier? that question brought paige pause too and that’s what scared her the most. the what if. so no matter how good it might feel to admit the truth…she goes with the safe choice. 

“of course i’m not.” it’s a blatant lie. purely for survival. 

then came the scariest sound paige hears. far worse than the screaming or the monotone: silence. olivia’s silence means…

“you know what? i’m done.” 

“baby, what?” paige rushes out, eyes widening as her heart starts to beat frantically. 

“we’re done.”

[sturn1olo-ffics]

- NERVOUS -

- Matt Sturniolo x Fem Reader (she/her pronouns used)

- WARNINGS: kissing (making out 😨), literally one joke about Matt and Chris dating, swearing, (I think that’s it? I hope so) ; NOT PROOFREAD

- DESCRIPTION: Y/n has only known the triplets for a few months, but she has already developed a crush on Matt. After watching a scary movie, Matt decides to mess with her by asking if she’s nervous.

(Y/N’s POV)

I had known the triplets for about 3 months when I started to realize that I was falling for Matt. I don’t even know why. Their fans had always shipped me and Chris because we were both loud and energetic. We could easily match each other’s energy so well. But I could never see Chris as someone I’d date.

It was about 11pm on a Friday night when me, Nick, and Chris were sitting on their couch, reading comments from the car video posted earlier that day.

User627: “Y/n and Chris are deadass the same fucking person it’s insane”

Sturniolofan32: “Y/n definitely has a crushy crush on Chris”

User991: “Can y’all stop making up shit 😭 obviously they just have similar personalities”

“Bro these comments get me every time bro y’all fans theorize like crazy” I blurt out, holding in a laugh.

“Okay but like who wouldn’t have a crush on me. I know Matt does” Chris said loudly so Matt would hear, giggling after.

“What the fuck Chris you’re so fucking weird” Matt says, entering the room with wet hair, a black wife beater, and black sweatpants on.

He looked so good I couldn’t help but stare at him. Thank God he didn’t notice.

Matt sat down on the couch, in between me and Chris. Nick on the other side of Chris.

I held my breath as we were sitting so close I could feel my heart rate speed up.

“Why don’t we put on a scary movie or some shit to pass the time since we’re all bored” said Chris.

Nick grabbed the remote and put on The Conjuring. I had seen this movie multiple times before, but the jump-scares still somehow got me.

About an hour into the movie, Nick and Chris announced that they were exhausted and wanted to head to bed. Me and Matt wanted to finish the movie, so we stayed on the couch and finished the last hour or so of the movie.

“Honestly this movie isn’t even scary anymore after watching it about 7 times” I joked.

Matt let out a soft giggle and glanced over at me. I could feel my face heat up as I prayed for it to not be obvious that I’m blushing.

“Are you nervous?” Matt asked, almost in a joking manner.

“No, why?” I said, obviously confused.

“Your face is beat red, y/n. You must be nervous” Matt said cockily.

“What would I be nervous of? I just said I wasn’t scared-” I started before I was cut off.

“You know.” Matt said in a serious tone.

“I know what exactly?” I clapped back.

“You know you’re nervous around me.” Matt said smiling into his words.

“Why would I be nervous around you?” I said, trying to not blow my cover.

“So, you’re saying you wouldn’t be nervous if I did this?” Matt said quietly.

“Did what-” I could barely get those two words out before I felt his lips on my neck.

I felt the butterflies swarm my stomach as I sat up quickly, in shock of what he just did.

“I knew it!” he said proudly.

“Knew what? How to scare the fucking daylights out of someone?” I said in a snarky tone.

“Okay, we’ll if that didn’t make you nervous, I bet this will…” he says quietly before grabbing my waist with one hand and my cheek in the other.

His eyes flickered to my lips and back up to my eyes before his lips were softly placed on mine.

I closed my eyes and leaned into the kiss. After a few seconds, Matt pulls away to tilt his head and deepen the kiss.

Next thing I know, he was grabbing my waist and pulling me on top of him.

I pulled back to gasp for air and he smirked, proudly.

“Still not nervous?” he joked.

“No, actually.” I laughed.

He lifted his hand to place it on my chest.

“Then why is your heart beating so fucking fast?” he questioned, knowing you’re lying.

“I don’t know, maybe because I couldn’t breathe for a solid 30 seconds while making out with you…?” I said cockily.

“Sure… sure whatever you wanna believe, y/n” he laughed.

Next thing I know his lips were back on the other side of my neck, biting the skin between his teeth.

“Woah woah woah slow down there kid, I don’t need bruises on my neck for the next week” I giggled, but also was serious.

“You can cover it up. I’m sure there’s a tutorial out there somewhere.” Matt said quickly before placing his lips back on the side of my neck.

A few moments later we hear Nick start coming down the stairs. So, we jump back to our original spots on the couch and get on our phones like nothing happened.

“You two gonna go to sleep at some point?” Nick said as he walked to the fridge for some water.

“Yeah actually we were just about to head that way” Matt responded, grabbed my hand to help me up.

Nick looked at us confused, then wandered back to his room.

“You think he noticed the marks on my neck?” I questioned.

“Nah, otherwise bro would’ve freaked the fuck out” Matt joked as we climbed into his bed.

I rested my head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around my waist. We both fell asleep, but all I could think about was how nervous I am around him.

————————————————————————————

A/n: Hey guys! This is my first ever fanfic so I hope it was okay 😭😭 let me know what y’all wanna see next <3

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 82)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (65) / Alexia Putellas x Character (38) & Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson (19)

Masterlist (other parts here)

((4k))

Due to popular demand, I'm going to post a chapter bi-weekly, every Thursday and Sunday night until we hit Part 100!

JORDAN POV

“Ridley is back?!”

YFN nodded with her happy smile as she ate.

“Oh, come on chick, you have to give us more than that!”

Lucy staring like a lovesick puppy at YFN laughing did so did not go unnoticed by her. Or Leah it seemed, as she felt her leg gently moving under the table to touch her own.

“She came back yesterday. She was in the hospital yesterday evening with me getting my surgery to check in on me… and because she was getting work done too..”

Leah scoffed.

“Oh of course she did. Let me guess – she lifted a bus off of a group of school kids?”

“I know better than to ask by now,” she shrugged.

“Is she back for you or…?” Leah asked hesitantly. “Because Alexia left, didn’t she?”

YFN nodded. “Ale left yesterday afternoon but Ridley caught her on the plane. She’s with her right now, actually. Taking her away for some time together…”

“I’m surprised Alexia went, to be fair.”

“Riddles has a reason for everything she does. I’m sure Ale wouldn’t have accepted her back easily so I guarantee Riddles has been opening up to her at last.”

“She wasn’t gone for long,” Lucy noted aloud. “Thank god. I thought we’d never see her again.” She looked like she knew about the messages from Ridley – but they hadn’t quite been able to discuss the finer details of what was actually happening.

“Me too…” YFN replied with a shared expression. It made Jordan wonder how bad the leaving had been.

“Are they coming to the party on Friday?”

Lucy shot Jordan a look and her stomach dropped at the slip-up.

“The party?” YFN asked.

“The friends and family thing after the game,” Leah said, jumping in the save the day - sounding nonchalant about it all. “It’s a whole Lioness thing – it took a while to convince my folks to be fair..”

Jordan reached out under the table to give Leah’s thigh a thankful squeeze, though when she went to take her hand away, it was caught. She took a deep breath.

“Oh… I’m not sure. I don’t think they are?” Luckily – she didn’t seem to realise that the event on her birthday was in fact, for her birthday. Jordan hid a grin at how humble she was, and honestly, she was just so excited to share her birthday with her at the party. She’d not nearly spent enough time with her lately. “Friends and family? Christ, that’s a lot of people, no?”

“We won’t really get another chance until the season is over, little one.” Lucy explained. “Besides – we’ll need it after the game. We’re all so focussed on that at the moment. We need to win, and by as much as possible.”

Lucy seemed to know just how to shift her attention from thinking about the party to worrying out Lucy’s competitiveness. “You will win. And the game after that too, yes?”

She nodded. “We need to win both by a lot, and then we have a chance at the Olympics in Paris next year.”

Jordan realised then that it would most likely be Lucy’s last, and Leah’s if she started playing again soon.

There was no way that Lucy would let them lose, and that was written across her face.

“You’re going to smash it, Luce. You always do. 110%.”

She watched as Lucy softened and leant in so YFN could kiss her cheek.

“Are you sure you want to come?” Lucy murmured to her.

They all knew that she was embarrassed about the wheelchair, but she didn’t hesitate in her answer. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Plus, it’ll be easier to spot me, no?”

Lucy rolled her eyes.

Jordan loved to see them interact like this. To see them both so happy. She let herself entwine her fingers with Leah’s under the table and watched her shift and hide a smile.

“We’ll take you in,” Leah said and then gestured to the wheelchair. “To be fair – we’ll be more looked after than any celebrity going to watch with that.”

“Oh, so not quite out of the kindness of your heart then?” YFN accused with a chuckle. “Good as a battering ram too, I dare say.”

Lucy groaned. “So help me god, if you use my girl as a battering ram, I will murder you both.”

They all laughed.

“Speaking of murder…” Jordan started.

“I’m worried where this is going…”

“What’s the latest on Kristie?”

“Oh! Yes! I haven’t asked about that either – I’ve been so wrapped up in work and events and…” YFN looked down at her immobile body parts. “…this.”

Lucy wrinkled her nose and pushed her glasses back up. “I’ve been handling it. We’re going fully in. There’s a hearing next week to tie up the loose ends. Given all of the evidence, she can’t possibly contest it.” She kissed YFN’s shoulder. “I was going to talk to you about it after Friday night…”

There was a pause and a glance between them before YFN spoke.

“Thank you, love.” She said, smiling at her, seemably knowing why Lucy did the things that she did. Jordan wondered if she’d ever get to that point again with Leah as she turned to look at her. Her popular scowl wasn’t so much a scowl as Jordan held her hand. In fact, she looked almost at peace. Happier.

She turned – having been caught, and they shared a look that made the idea of going home together nerve-wracking in the best kind of way.

They spoke about the Lumos content released as they ate, all of the footballers present happy with the response so far, and eager to hear YFN’s upcoming plans for future content and/or releases. They finished their dinner and helped to tidy up – insisting when Lucy told them to leave it. She’d had a long day at training, and YFN wasn’t exactly in a position to help either.

Jordan gave her a cuddle with the promise to see them both tomorrow, while Leah collected a sleeping Blu from his spot cuddled next to Narla on the couch.

They drove home in silence with Leah’s hand held between her own in Jordan’s lap.

She watched, leant up against the door frame to the hall, as Leah gently put Blu to sleep in his bed.

They’d explored Birmingham. Driven three hours. Socialised with their friends. It was safe to say – their batteries were quite drained for anything except each other.

The entire day had been comfort and happiness. It felt like their relationship again – only better. Different. More appreciative and noticing. She watched Leah pull Blu’s little blanket up over him and kiss him goodnight like she used to, only this time with more emotion. You never love something more than when you thought you’d lost it.

It was the same for her as it was with Leah. She noticed more now. Like the strands of her blonde fringe falling across him as she leant down to kiss his head, and the wrinkles at the corner of her eyes as she leant back and smiled at him fast asleep.

Jordan stayed there as Leah pushed herself up, albeit wincing with her knee, and made her way over to her.

“Hi, you.” She murmured as she leant against the door frame with her. The height difference had her looking down as she brushed the back of her knuckles over Jordan’s cheek.

From her earlier private conversation with YFN, she found her confidence. “Lea?”

“Mmn?” She hummed, distracted by her skin under her hand.

Jordan took a breath. “I’m ready.”

ALEXIA POV

She wasn’t aware that she still had her phone to her ear until Ridley stepped forwards into her space and gently lowered her hand for her.

“You’re here,” she whispered.

“You invited me.”

At the sound of her voice, Chiquito sprinted outside and straight up her body, settling onto her shoulder and nuzzling at her face. It softened the footballer like nothing else.

Alexia was rarely caught by surprise, and yet Ridley seemed to be able to do that far too often. She managed to take away her attention from those warm, dark eyes with dancing gold flecks, to look her up and down. She was dressed in brown lace-less boots; tan, cuffed cargo parts; a white shirt and cream open button up. Her eyes moved up her neck to her lips which she’d been dreaming about just half an hour prior and then those playful, yet comforting eyes again.

“Your hand,” Alexia murmured, reaching out to rest her fingertips on it. “The cast is different.”

“You’re very observant. I had surgery again, yesterday in London.”

“Again?!” Alexia was surprised. Why would she need surgery again? “You didn’t get into another fight, did you?”

She watched her scar move as her lips twitched. “It was… an amalgamation of things. It’ll be fine.”

Alexia pocketed the phone she didn’t realise she was still holding and took her hand between her own, raising it between the two to inspect as she gently turned it over. “Just the same as before?” She asked as her thumb stroked over her two smaller fingers, taped together.

“More or less.” Alexia found her eyes again, knowing what that meant. It was worse. Before she could question it, Ridley spoke. “Are you going to invite me inside?”

“Yes… yes. Sorry. Come in.” She led the way inside, as Chiquito leapt from Ridley to Alexia as they entered her house.

She ushered the slightly taller woman to one of the high stools at the kitchen island and saw her looking around as if memorising the place.

“If I knew you were coming-”

“It’s perfect,” Ridley cut off. “Very… you.”

Was it? Alexia looked around herself. It wasn’t particularly large, but large enough to house all of her specific needs. A small pool out the back, two spare rooms, and a master ensuite separate from the other rooms for her own privacy. Alexia liked her space.

As Ridley stared around the room and reunited with Chiquito who was now on the stool opposite her, staring like he was in love, she finished cooking their breakfast, adding a little more into the pan for her unexpected guest. Due to the state of her hand, she chopped all of it up into bite size pieces before placing it down in front of her. Alexia had never cooked for Ridley before and found herself suddenly aware of that fact.

“Thank you,” she said in her perfect Spanish and looked down, her head tilting. “Are you under the impression that I’m a small child or a bird?”

She laughed. “I will not be responsible for you damaging your hand any more than it already is.”

Ridley caught her eye and gave her such a genuine smile that it melted her. “Thank you, Lex.”

Alexia merely nodded with a smile in return, though somewhat pleased with herself.

She made her way around the marble island to sit where Chiquito had vacated, leaping up onto the countertop. She was against the idea of animals on counters, though he was different. He wasn’t interested in their food, just to be around them and he sat perched there, his tail curled around his paws as his attention shifted from one to the other as they ate in a comfortable silence.

“Can I ask you something?” Alexia asked as she finished her plate.

“Yes, the food is delicious.” Ridley responded, licking the last bit of taste from her fork while maintaining eye contact.

Alexia rolled her eyes.

“Anything.”

“Where did you go?”

“Ah.” Ridley put her fork down on her plate and pushed it away. “Far enough away that I thought I’d stop thinking about you as much.”

Alexia softened at that, her heart skipping a beat. She loved when Ridley opened up and was honest with her feelings. It gave her the validation she needed. They were in this together.

“Is this the new Ridley now?” She asked, confidently. “Open and honest and her feelings?”

Ridley shared that eye contact with her – their favourite form of communication. She tilted her head slightly, as if choosing her words before she spoke.

“Is that what you’d like?”

“I’d like you to not answer my question with a question.”

The Australian smiled, her lips tilting upwards, moving that scar of hers again. Christ. Why was she so hyperaware of that?

“I believe it’s a good way to reassure you that I’m not going anywhere. So… yes.”

“Good, because it is what I’d like.”

They shared another smile as Ridley’s eyes hooded with whatever she had on her mind. It made Alexia want to shove away her pride and kiss her.

“What changed your mind? You were so against this from the beginning…” She asked before she realised she had. There was no more dancing around the subject for Alexia – she wanted all of the emotions. Anything to get out of this stale rut they had been in. God knows it had been so full of hurt.

Ridley took a deep breath, her movements slow and thought out. “I had a conversation with someone very important to me.”

Blau?

“He made me realise-”

Not Blau.

“-that what is happening between us is very special and rare, and that I owe it to a lot of important people in my life to see it through.”

That just opened up a whole other lot of questions for her. Who was he? Where did she go? Who were these important people in her life, and why had she never spoken about them until now?

She felt like Ridley could see the questions swimming around her eyes and knew from her expression that she was hesitant about sharing them. That didn’t bother her, though. Because the Australian had already come so far, and she was mindful about pushing her, like Blau had always suggested she not do.

So instead of asking – she merely stood up from her stool, took a small step forward and leant down to wrap her arms around her. Ridley’s surprise was obvious in her posture. The muscles of her shoulders and back tense under Alexia’s arms, though, she slowly softened into her.

“I’m just glad you’re back,” she said simply and honestly, letting herself enjoy the warmth, the smell and the feel of her.

Ridley’s arms came around her waist and hugged her back, both enjoying the feel of their hearts beating together, and the sides of their heads finding each other’s.

It was a while before Alexia pulled away, very aware that she was the first to break the hug, and she leant on her thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze with a smile.

Ridley flinched and Alexia retracted her hand quickly, unsure if she’d over-stepped.

“No,” Ridley stressed, catching her wrist. “I just…”

Alexia’s eye was caught by the sight of blood seeping through her tanned cargo pants. That explained it.

“Are you okay?!”

“I’m fine. It’s just a little blood.”

“That’s more than just a little bit. Let me see.”

“Alexia, it’s fine. It’s a few stitches, that’s all.”

“How did you…” Alexia frowned as she reached out to touch her thigh near the wound. She looked back up at her as she found a better question. “Where did you go, Lee?”

Ridley sighed, her jaw shifting. She opened her mouth to speak and her phone started buzzing in her pocket. She pulled it out and her face turned serious.

“I need to take this.”

And then she was up and walking out the sliding glass door of Alexia’s apartment. She watched her out there, talking while she strode back and forth, clearly about something serious. Was it work?

Alexia turned on the TV to give Ridley her privacy while she cleaned the dishes, though she couldn’t stop herself from looking out at her pacing near the pool.

Questions swam through her head until the cocktail party effect kicked in and her attention shot to the noise in her living room. She stared at it as she watched.

It was a murder just outside of Mogadishu.

‘Somalian Pirate King assassinated’ read across the bottom of the screen in bold letters.

Blurred video footage showed hundreds dead. Blood sprayed on walls of a building. A man declaring war into a camera. Politicians hiding their secrets. A rich Arabic looking man holding his son in front of him and taking full responsibility whilst thanking an unnamed group for their heroics.

The glass door wrenched open though she paid it no mind. “Alexia, turn it off.”

“…reporters told that of one the individuals were trapped in enemy territory and escaped just prior to sunrise in an aircr-…”

The TV went black.

Alexia’s eyes flickered back to Ridley who was now staring at her, waiting.

“Where did you go?” She asked again, their eyes piercing each other.

“Dubai...” Relief flooded her body at that. “…Kenya, and Somalia.”

Her eyes flicked to the TV and back to her. “That was you?”

“It’s a complicated story. Do you have a first aid kit?”

Alexia found her kit and brought it over to her. “I didn’t ask for the story. I asked if that was you.”

Ridley sighed and sat down, grudgingly. She pulled her pants down far enough to reveal the wound on her thigh. It was worse than Alexia could have imagined.

She pulled the bandage off to reveal a nasty looking stitched wound, surrounded by a bruise that took up most of her thigh. She couldn’t help but notice just how mechanically and efficiently Ridley cleaned up the blood and replaced the bandage. Like she’d done it a thousand times.

What wasn’t she saying? Her mind immediately went to the extreme. “Are… you’re a contract… killer?”

Ridley scoffed as she pulled her pants back up. “No, Lex. I have mentioned my training to you. This shouldn't be a surprise.”

“Military?”

She gave no response, which was enough of a yes to her.

“That-,” she pointed to the black TV screen. “-was the Australian military?”

She pursed her lips, and Alexia knew that it wasn’t because she didn’t want to respond. Rather - she wasn’t allowed to. But again, her lack of response answered the question.

“I didn’t realise you still did that…”

“Occasionally. And that’s the whole point.”

“They didn’t mention your names…” she said, trying to ease her frustration. Her ‘important friends’… were they military too? It made sense.

“That’s not the point, Lex. We don’t exist. This is a very dangerous issue.”

She was staring at the coffee table – and it was very clear that her mind was running a mile a minute.

Would Alexia be dragged into it all? How far would it go? The man yelling seemed very… vengeful.

Perhaps she should have been distraught. Scared away. Shocked to no end. But somewhere inside her – she already knew. She knew from the way she’d distanced herself and bore so much pain and burden. Alexia had seen that haunted shadow in her eyes before, and that could only come from something as morally objectionable as what she had seen and done.

But she knew her. Ridley wasn’t a killer, she was a protector. And although the images had been confronting, she knew it would have been justified. She’d just needed to give her time to open up this part of her life to her.

Alexia sat next to her and reached out to touch her hand with her fingertips. Ridley’s attention broke and she looked at her, a little surprised.

“Why are you not disgusted? Telling me to fuck off and never come back? You saw-” she ended her sentence abruptly.

“I know you,” she whispered, stroking the back of her hand. “You’re a good person.”

She felt like Ridley was falling into her eyes as the Australian trembled some emotions out in a deep exhale.

“Was that what your phone call was about?” Alexia murmured, enjoying that impressed look Ridley flashed.

“It was. I need to leave for a while.”

Her heart stopped. “Again?”

“Not for long. We think it’s best to avoid my usual spots for now while we… find… him.”

The man from the TV. Was he after her?

“Would you like to come with me?”

How could she ever say no to that face?

“I need to be around the team for support. I’m the Captain.”

“And the Spanish team don’t deserve you. The girls do, but management doesn’t. And I guarantee that the team wants you to take all of the time you need to rest, relax and rehab. There are other Captains for a reason.”

Was she running away from her responsibilities?

Ridley reached out and brushed her fingertips across her cheek. “You’ve given enough, la Reina. Let Alexia rest and come back stronger than ever.”

A shiver ran up her spine and she felt her pupils dilate. Honestly, she didn’t need any reason to run away with Ridley. She never had. She just needed to tell her pride to step away and realise that she would make the best decisions for her heart.

“When?”

“Hm. Well I was originally coming over to ask you to come somewhere with me tonight.. but I can call and extend our stay.”

Yes. Yes. “Where..?”

“Oh, just a little bit of a journey. Not too far. I’ll keep you entertained; I promise.”

Alexia smiled almost shyly as she leant into her fingertips. She’d never had anyone plan a holiday for her before.

Would she go? Could she go?

“Is that a yes? Use your words, la Reina.”

She didn’t give her the satisfaction of responding immediately. In fact, her pride crept back up as if remembering the hurt of the last few days. The uncertainty prior to that.

“I’m not sure,” she murmured as she moved away from her hand and took the first aid kit back to its home. She turned and almost bumped into Ridley; those dark eyes intense. She softened as she reached out and gently moved a piece of her blonde hair from her face, her fingertips gliding over her skin so softly that she could barely feel them if not for the tremble up her back.

“You’re not sure about me.” A question within a statement.

“I need to know you’re not going anywhere. And for that I need… time.”

“We don’t have time,” she replied softly, thinking hard. “I need to leave Spain tonight. Can I give you something other than time, Lex? The promise of a date. The planning of a holiday together. I could leave something here so you know I’ll always come back for it…”

“A date can be changed. A holiday can be missed. And you don’t care about possessions. Unless you have an alternative.”

“I care about you.”

“Are you calling me a possession?”

Ridley smirked. “Nobody could ever possess you, Alexia. You are not a possession. A prize, certainly.  Greater than any other. Lucky for anyone to be close enough to see, touch or hear you. Just to be in your vicinity…” She stopped herself as Alexia felt herself drowning in the beat of her own heart. “But no, not a possession.”

A pause as she took in those honest, loving words. Is that really how special she saw her?

“You won’t leave?”

“I won’t.”

“You’re here to stay?”

“For good.”

“You promise? No matter what happens?” She whispered, as if worried to scare this perfect scenario away.

“I promise. No matter what happens.”

There was nothing but pure honesty in those eyes she had to lean back to look into. “You’re telling the truth.”

“Mmn. I will always tell you the truth.”

“Oh really?” Alexia tilted her head. “Then tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

“I’m thinking that I have an alternative to time.”

And then before Alexia could respond, react or even breathe, Ridley kissed her.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Headlines

Day #16 - Struggling | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: M | CW: Substance Abuse, Addiction, Minor Mention of Pregnancy | POV: Gareth | Pairing: Gareth/Di (OC, Off-Screen), Minor Steddie | Tags: Clawing Your Way Out Of Rock Bottom, Tough Love, But Love

The headlines never stop coming, never relent, and if he dares to step foot out of his house there's a camera shoved in his face. Struggling, apparently, isn't allowed. The fall from grace must always be captured for the masses to gossip about.

His phone rings again, and again, and he lets it. He's not about to answer the phone and listen to anyone that's on the other end. He's heard it all before, and he doesn't have the energy for more of it. Not for Eddie's nagging or Steve's next plan of action. 

He's tried. They've all tried. It's useless.

He's useless.

Now, there's annoying banging on the door. He ignores that, too. 

"Hey, asshole, I know you're in there!" Goodie hollers through the door, and he's sure the next headline will read:

Former Drummer Evicted, Noise Complaints

Goodie can't actually get into the shitty apartment Gareth's been renting, so Gareth just props his feet up on the couch and ignores him. If he wants to yell through the door like an asshole, Gareth will let him. Gareth puts his headphones on, and blocks out the world. 

He's been good at that recently. Has had to be, if he hopes to survive this.

He closes his eyes and leans back.

Goodie lost the right to talk to him when he voted him out. All three of them, turning on him. Steve too, and Di. His own fucking wife. Giving him ultimatums that they all damn well knew he'd never be able to make good on.

Interventions that would never work, that he never wanted to work. He was fine. He was still showing up, drumming, and they thought they deserved more from him than his work. 

He can drum.

He can't stay sober. 

He jumps when the earphones are being plucked off of his head. 

"Jesus Christ, Goodie," Gareth snaps, but it isn't Goodie. At least, not just Goodie. 

It's Eddie, of course it is, who else could have picked the fucking locks? And of course, that means Steve, too, who is already gathering up the mess, shoving it into a trash bag by the handful.

Jeff standing there, holding it open for him.

They all wrote him off, months ago, and now here they are, harassing him further. It's bullshit. They wanted him gone? Great. Then they need to leave him alone, now. 

"Enough," Eddie says, "bender's over."

"Fuck you," Gareth snaps. He'll be done when he's good and ready, and he doesn't see that day coming anytime soon.

"Get up, let's go," Eddie says, and he pulls on Gareth's arms until he's standing, and then he's dragging him to the bathroom, Goodie kicking him on the ass the whole way, shoving him along.

"Stop it!" Gareth snaps, wheeling around on Goodie, only stopping because Eddie's restraining him.

"Goodie," Eddie warns, shutting the bathroom door, locking Goodie out, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Kid," Eddie says, meeting Gareth's eyes in the mirror. 

Gareth hasn't looked in a mirror in, well, a while. It isn't good. His eyes are dark, and purple underneath. This isn't what he should look like, and he knows it.

He's fucked it all up. His job, his band, his friendships, his goddamn marriage. 

His chance to be a dad in anything other than name.

"She had that baby?" Gareth asks, looking down at the floor.

"Not yet," Eddie answers, opening the shower door, "Here, get in."

And Gareth doesn't want to fight with him, so he does. Undresses and showers, and he feels a little better. Still awful. But a degree less, maybe.

"You can still turn this around," Eddie says from outside the shower door, "it's not too late. I'll help you."

It is too late. Di won't take him back. The band won't take him back. It is too late. Has been for a while.

"I can't fix this, I'm too far gone," Gareth mutters back.

"You're fucking not, shut up," Eddie snaps.

His own band kicked him out, replaced him. His wife left him, is having a baby that's he's not sure he'll have any parental rights to, or ability to see, and for good reason. He's a fuck-up. Unreliable. 

"Let me help you. We have all summer off."

Gareth looks at him, "You took the summer off? Why?"

Corroded Coffin never takes the summer off. They go, go, go during the summer. Five shows a week, at a flat run. That's what they're good at. Covering ground, entertaining crowds. 

"Because you're more important. I'm so sorry that we haven't gone about this right."

It's not Eddie's fault. Gareth knows that. Knows he only has himself to blame, even if most of the time he likes to lash out, and pretend otherwise. 

Down deep, he knows.

Down deep, he'd like to crawl out of this hole, but he can't really see daylight.

He's been digging too long.

"I don't think I can," Gareth whispers.

Eddie pulls him to his chest, hugging him tight, and it's been too long, and Gareth hugs back, "That's okay. I know you can."

And Gareth wants that to be true. Wants the trajectory to change. Wants his life back. All of it. Di, Eddie, the band. 

If he's making wishes, he's gonna wish big. 

"What do I do?" Gareth asks, face pressed into Eddie's neck. 

"Want it back," Eddie says, rubbing his back, "Take it back. Work for it."

Gareth lets Eddie hold him, then finally asks, "Have you talked to Di?"

"All the time," Eddie whispers, "she's wants it, too."

And that's when Gareth breaks, "She'll take me back?"

"Yeah, kid, I think she will if you can show her you're serious about turning this shitshow around."

"She's having a baby," Gareth says.

"You both are," Eddie says, "and wouldn't it be nice to be involved in that?"

It would, it really would.

"And Corroded Coffin?"

"Waiting. Always," Eddie says, and Gareth squeezes him, tight. "What do you say, kid? You in?"

Yeah. Gareth's in.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

[sturniololoco]

Shy pt. 3

pt 1 pt 2 pt 4

Sturniolo Little Sister (SLS) x The Sturniolo Triplets

SLS x Nathan Doe

Warnings: suggestive content kinda?, Kissing, bathing suits?, etc.

SLS/N’s POV

Nick sat in my bed, already in his bathing suit, while I basically pulled out every single one of my bathing suits and tried them on for him.

“No, do that one, Nate will be going crazy.” He said, pointing to one I had previously tried on. It was a floral bikini with smaller bottoms.

"Nick!" I scolded him. He put his hands up in mock defense and got up to leave the room while I changed. Before I headed downstairs, I snuck into Nick's closet to grab a T-shirt to wear as a cover-up.

-

Again, I was smushed up against Nate for the 15-minute car ride to the warehouse. Only this time it was different.

I could feel his eyes on me nearly the entire ride. And at one point he moved his hand down between us and started fumbling with the edge of my shirt.

At this, I felt my heart nearly leave my chest.

Butterflies.

Maybe the kiss did mean something. I thought.

-

As we pulled into the warehouse, Nate was quick to jump out. He helped Chris grab all our things and walk them to the pool. Nick and I were walking side by side on the sidewalk, I was on the edge.

The next thing I knew, Chris was tackling me into the pool, T-shirt and all. I swam and brought my head above water. I looked at Chris as he climbed out of the pool, giving me an evil smirk.

I stuck both my middle fingers and my tongue out, screaming,

"Fuck you!"

I climbed out of the pool, Nick's white t-shirt sucked tight to my skin from the water. I quickly stripped it off my body, before the sight got too embarrassing.

I saw Nate smirk out of the corner of my eye, taking off his own shirt, and I couldn't help but stare.

-

Two rounds of sunscreen later, Nick and I were relaxing and drinking Pepsi by the side of the pool. Matt, Chris, and Nate were too busy wrestling to notice the conversation between Nick and I.

"Did you see the way he was staring at you? I think he had a string of drool hanging from his lip too-" Nick was saying, but was interrupted by Chris, yelling,

"Who's up for a chicken fight!?" I quickly stood up and jumped into the water, wanting to get in on the fun. Nick stayed back dn said he'd be the ref.

"Okay. Round one will be Me and SLS/N vs Nate and Chris." Matt said I gave him a fist bump before he went under the water, allowing me to climb on top of his shoulders. Nate and Chris did the same, Chris on top.

We fought and fought until Nate swept Matt, causing us to splash into the water. Nate and Chris cheered and high five as Matt and I wiped the water out of our eyes.

Round two! Matt and Chris vs Nate and SLS/N!" Nick yelled from the pool side. I whipped my head around and stared at him. He gave me a small smile before blowing an imaginary whistle.

Matt climbed up on Chris's shoulders. They saw me hesitate and Chris said,

"What's wrong? Are you two chicken to go up against the masters?" Mat and he started making chicken noises at us.

I am no chicken in a chicken fight.

I turned around to face Nate who was already looking at me. My cheeks turned red as I said,

"Let's do this."

He went under the water, allowing me to sit on his shoulders, fully aware that I was literally on top of him.

He rose to the surface and wrapped his arms around my legs, giving them a little squeeze.

Nick blew his whistle again, and we were off.

-

This was the longest chicken fight because it lasted a few solid minutes. But Nate and I eventually push my brothers into the deep end and they sink.

Nate and I cheer and high-five after he gently helps me down from his shoulders. We begin to make quacking chicken noises at Matt and Chris, who roll their eyes in defeat.

-

“Hey, imma run to the bathroom. Does anyone need anything while I’m in side?” I ask you quietly, standing up and fixing my bathing suit straps.

“Actually, could you show me where the bathroom is?” Nate says.

I look at him, shocked. But his face is straight, not breaking eye contact. I nod and begin walking and I wave my arm, signaling for him to follow me.

He does so, following me into the warehouse, up the stairs and down the hallway.

“The bathroom is the first door on the left-“ I begin to say, but I am cut short by Nate, who had me pinned against the wall, gently by my shoulders.

“I can’t do this SLS/N. I can’t keep pretending.” He said leaning in close, our noses brushing.

My eyes flutter shut and my face gets hot. I nod my head, not being able to form words.

He’s so close I can feel his breath fan over my face. At this point I’m just waiting for him to kiss me like he did in the kitchen last night.

“Please, talk to me. Give me something so I know you feel the same.” He said, a pinch of sadness in his voice.

Instead of talking, I lean forward and go up on my toes to make press my lips to his.

I feel him smile into the kiss. He moves his hands from my shoulders, trailing them down my body until they rest at my hips.

I gasp at the sudden contact, making him pull away slightly. I look up at him, my cheeks flushed with heat. He gives me that award-winning smile and I feel my stomach doing flips.

I put my head down, my hair falling down to hide my face. He chuckles and lifts my chin up, saying,

"Somebody is a little shy hmm?" He slightly squeezes my hips, and just as he's leaning down to kiss me again,

We hear footsteps coming up the stairs.

Nate's POV

We hear the footsteps coming up the stairs and we immediately jump. Then I feel her hand pushing me into the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

"H-hey Matt!" She says, her voice cracking slightly.

"Hey, is Nate still in there?" He replies, thankfully not getting suspicious. She must have nodded because he responded with,

"I can wait for him if you want. Chris is cranking up the hot tub if you wanna head down there."

"Yeah, um...okay great! I was gonna do that anyway!" She lied. She must have been letting her nerves show because Matt said,

"Are you okay? You're feeling a little warm, do you need to go home?"

Matt must have felt her enflamed cheeks, courtesy of our kiss.

"No, No, No I'm good! I think it's just a sunburn." I then heard her walking away to escape.

After she left, I heard Matt sigh and say,

"Nate, c'mon man! I gotta pee!"

-

Once I got back downstairs, I saw SLS/N everishly telling Nick something. I smiled at how cute she is when she's talking. I then walked over and helped Chris get the hot tub started.

Once we finished, Chris and I climbed in, cracking open a new can of Pepsi. Not long after Nick and SLS/N joined us.

"Mind if I sit?" She asked, nodding to the spot next to me. I nodded and she got in, resting her back against the hot tub wall, looking a beautiful as ever.

SLS/N's POV

A hot tub gets kinda small when you have four grown men and little me in there. Nate and I's thighs were pressed close together, even closer than in the car.

We were all talking and laughing as the sun went down, drinking way too much Pepsi.

But then something happened that was not expecting.

I felt Nate's hand brush over my thigh. A whisper of a touch. At first, I thought it was an accident, but then he kept doing it.

As the sun went fully down, he proceeded to rest his whole hand on my thigh, rubbing up and down slowly. every time his hand went higher on my thigh making my stomach feel like its caving in.

"SLS/N, are you sure you're okay? You still look kinda sick." Matt asked, probably noticing my quietness and the flustered redness on my face.

I nodded and told him I was fine. He agreed and the boys went back to their conversation. Only then did I realize that Nate's hand stopped moving, right at the very top of my thigh.

His fingers began fiddling with my bathing suit bottoms. I sucked in a sharp breath.

This is too much. They're gonna find out!

I thanked Heaven but also cursed as Chris hopped out of the tub to turn it off. We walked back to grab our stuff to head home. It was pretty cold outside of the hot tub, the sun being down didn't help either.

But what really didn't help was the fact that my T-shirt was still sopping wet from when Chris pushed me into the pool.

I sighed, deciding that I was just gonna suffer from the cold, but I then felt something being hung over my shoulder.

I turn around to see Nate walking away, looking back at me with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and then threw the shirt on, the warm cotton soothing the goosebumps on my skin.

-

On the car ride home, I passed out, tired from our long day of fun. Not to mention the long day with Nate.

But the next thing I knew, I was being lifted out of the car and being held like a baby, my legs wrapping around the persons torso, my arms around their neck.

I thought it was Chris, so I buried my face in the crook of their neck. But when I heard the voice of the person say, "Naw man, I got her," I knew it was Nate, but I was too tired to care.

He gently laid me down on my bed, pulling the covers over me. He kissed me on my forehead and began to walk out.

"No, stay," I called out groggily before I could think about my actions.

He gave me a soft smile before closing the door and walking back to my bed, climbing under the covers with me. He wrapped his arms around me, falling asleep almost as fast as I did.

Pt 4 sooooooon!

Tag List:

@idkwhosnyla @babypat08 @eyelessdemon00 @christopherowensturniolo @sturnsxx @freshloveforthefit @matty443355 @sleepysturnss @emeraldgreenbeautiesstu @sunsetsturniolos @hoesturniolo @x4nd3rsukz @chr1sgirl4life

[mypearlsareclutched]

Being Here is Harder

High By The Beach | Chapter Two

Modern!Aemond x Original Female Character, Modern!Aegon II x Original Female Character

Mila Stark has a brief interaction with death itself, but the Stranger offers her a second chance at life. Moving forwards, Mila needs to figure out what the future looks like to her, and if Aemond could still have a place in her heart...

Next chapter, guys and dolls and others. I'm really getting these chapters out quickly because my drafts are full of WIPs I'm eager to write (I have ADHD and have about a thousand ideas I'm sorting through) this chapter feels fillery but ignore that. Hope you enjoy.

Song inspiration | High By The Beach, Lana Del Rey

CW//TW: references to SERIOUS drug use, angst, fluff, rehabilitation clinics, Rhaenyra being mother in every way, hospitals, found families, Cregan's big brother vibes, Targaryens being messy and dysfunctional, brief smut (18+), infidelity, moving on, Aemond's POV, slow-burn, a wild Aegon appears because he does that.

Word count | 3.5k

previous chapter // next chapter

It felt so good at first. The drinking, the drugs, the partying… Aemond. But like a tsunami, the first sign of danger is when the tide draws in.

The first thing Mila felt when she woke up was heavy. Her body felt like she was drowning, held down by chains at the bottom of a lake. She whined softly, forcing her eyes open as she tried feebly to rouse out of her deep sleep.

“Easy, sweetheart, you’re alright.” A teary voice murmurs, patting her sweaty hair. Mila sobs, opening her eyes a crack, bright white light burning her eyes.

"Nyra?" She mumbles, her voice hoarse as she looks up at the woman in front of her. Rhaenyra gives her a sad smile, brushing her hair back.

"You're alright, sweet girl, you're okay." The Targaryen soothes her, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"What... what happened?"

"You... darling, you overdosed." Rhaenyra says, her eyes glassy. Mila opens her eyes wider, looking around.

They are in a hospital, white and stagnant walls and floors. Laid up on a cot, the Stark girl is hooked up to IV's and beeping monitors. Mila starts panicking, a cold sweat breaking out on her skin as she wildly looks around.

"No.. no no no... Nyra, I'm so sorry." Mila cries, sobs wracking her body. Her heart rate increases, and Rhaenyra tries to calm her down as Cregan rushes into the room, his eyes red and teary.

"Doctor! Doctor, something's wrong!" Cregan yells, and Mila is wrapped in Rhaenyra's arms as she shakes and writhes.

The sound of a phone ringing awakens Aemond.

He groans, shifting in his sleep as his expensive sheets wrap around his bare skin. The ringing continues, echoing around the flat. He blindly reaches for it, his hand knocking it to the floor accidentally.

"Shit..." He groaned, mind still clinging on to sleep.

The soft padding of feet can be heard from across the room, and Aemond smiles softly, waiting for Mila to wake him up and tell him to get his ass into gear. The bed creaks as someone kneels upon it, their warm breath dancing on the skin of Aemond's neck as they lean over him.

"Wake up, little dragon." A woman's voice murmurs in his ear.

That's not Mila. Aemond opens his eyes, startled. Alys Rivers leans over him, a smirk on her red lips as she looks over him. Memories of last night come back to him. Viserys' party, the argument with Mila, taking Alys to bed again...

Disgusted, Aemond jumps up, getting as far away from Alys as he can. He grabs the comforter to wrap around his hips, face fiery as he glares at the older woman still kneeling on the bed. She pouts playfully, her face still smirking behind her mask of sadness.

"Get out." Aemond demands, fists shaking slightly at his side, "Get the fuck out!"

Alys laughs, making Aemond's skin crawl. She slowly crawls off the bed, sliding past him to grab her coat. With a look over her shoulder, she blows him a kiss, "See you soon, sweetling."

Aemond shivers as she vanishes from sight, the sound of his front door shutting and relieving him. His skin feels gross, slimy, unfamiliar as he remembers last night.

"Oh fuck, yes! Feels so good!" Alys moans, bouncing on top of Aemond's cock. His hands grip onto her waist, his neck craning as he stares up at the ceiling. Pleasure thrums through his veins at every snap of her hips, but his mind casts illusions of Mila in Alys' place. His body was too used to submitting to Alys and her affections, but his mind knew who he truly belonged to.

In his mind, Mila is on top of him, Mila is moaning his name, Mila is sending pleasure through his body with every clench of her cunt. As he finishes, it's Mila's name on his lips, his body shuddering as Alys climbs over him, settling in his arms.

"Fuck." Aemond whispers, storming to his bathroom, turning on the shower and scrubbing his skin until it was raw. Trying to remove the stains of that woman, unable to wash away the memories...

Returning to his bed, he throws on his clothes on haphazardly as he grabs his phone, eyebrows furrowing as he spots the many notifications.

(4) Missed Calls - O.Hightower

(12) Messages - O.Hightower

(2) Messages - Unknown Number

"Shit..." Aemond murmurs as he grabs his jacket and races out of his apartment. He ignores the notifications, dialing Mila's number instead. Straight to voicemail.

"Mila, my love, please answer me." Aemond pleads, pulling on his jacket, "I need to go and talk to Otto, then I'm coming to yours, okay? I can't... I can't leave things as they are, baby."

Aemond stops. Mila's car is still parked outside, in the same place they parked last night. He looks around, hoping that she stands around somewhere. Alas, no sign of her. Looking up, he can see that his living room window is clearly visible from the car's position. Worry claws his chest, but he shakes his head as he gets into his own car.

Does she know about Alys?

The doctor, a tall Dornish woman, presses her stethoscope to Mila's chest, instructing her to take a deep breath. As she does, her body shudders, ice in her veins and her skin itchy and dry.

"Hm." Dr. Toland hums, dark brows creasing as she listens to Mila's thumping heart, "Your heart rate is slowly returning to normal. I believe you will be fit to transported by tomorrow morning."

Across the room, Rhaenyra lets out a relieved breath. Cregan sits in a chair beside Mila's bed, eyes red rimmed as he watches his sister's pale face.

"Transported?" Mila asks, blinking up at the doctor. Toland gives her a grave look, before turning to Cregan and nodding. As she leaves, the air is charged with tension.

"We're sending you to a rehabilitation clinic." Cregan states, his hands shaking on his knees.

Mila swallows, bringing her thumb to her mouth to gnaw at her nail, "Is that really necessary?"

"Emiliana, you're shaking. Your body is hooked on that shit again and the second you walk out of this place you'll be going to Lannister to get another hit."

"How do you know Lannister sold it to me?"

"Who do you think I talked to to find you? Huh?" Cregan shouts, standing up, "I called you a dozen times and you wouldn't pick up. The pictures of Aemond and that fossil got leaked and I knew you were going to.... fuck, Mila." With a choked sob, he collapses back into the chair, holding his hand up to his mouth as a tear rolls down his cheek.

Mila chews her thumb, eyes vacant as she stares at the foot of the bed. She tried to listen to what her brother was saying, but she was feening for the needle, she needed it and it was all her body was telling her.

Across the room, Rhaenyra stares at her, taking in her appearance. Mila was always a beautiful girl, long dark hair and high cheekbones. Since getting clean and growing into a woman, she was on the tall side like most Starks, and at a healthy weight. But looking at her now, she looked just like she did when she was fifteen. Frail, scared, feeling alone in the world. Her steely eyes are dull, surrounded by dark bags and ashen skin.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" The Targaryen asks her softly.

"I told you what happened!" Cregan snaps, "Your fucking snake of a brother stuck it in his elderly ex and sent my baby sister spiraling. When I get my fucking hands on him I'll take his other fucking eye!"

"Cregan!" Rhaenyra shouts, and he goes quiet, breathing heavily as he flexes his hands, eyes full of anger.

"Does Aemond know?" Mila asks in a quiet voice.

"Alicent called me after Aemond's photos were made public." Rhaenyra says softly, "She couldn't reach you. I told her what happened... She wanted to come and see you but her father is doing damage control right now, and he won't let them be seen coming here. He wants to keep this whole thing away from the press."

"Yeah, can you imagine the headline; "Targaryen heir shags his dinosaur mistress, sending his girlfriend to her death"." Cregan scoffs, his knee bouncing with pent up anger.

"Aemond will probably know by now." Rhaenyra whispers, "But none of us will allow him to come and see you in this state."

Mila shakes in her bed, her skin crawling and her tongue dry. With a resolute nod, she looks at her family. "... I need to go to rehab."

Rhaenyra lets out a relieved sigh, and Cregan nods. Mila stares at the end of her bed, her thumb beginning to bleed with her gnawing. Her mind is a mess of bad memories and dwindling calmness brought on by the hit, and she knows that soon her body will start detoxing.

A phone rings, Rhaenyra grabs her bag and checks her phone screen. With a grimace, she excuses herself, leaving the room in a flurry of silver hair and dark, expensive clothes. Cregan stands up, sitting on the edge of his sisters bed as he cups her cheek.

"I almost died last night." Mila whispers, her eyes glassy as she looks up at her brother, Cregan looking down at her while rubbing her hair affectionately.

"But you didn't." He murmurs, voice cracking, "We're going to get through this, okay?"

"Mhm." Mila sighs, "Did you... were you the one who found me?"

"It was Rhaena." Cregan sighs, "She and Baela came with me to your apartment, she was the one who found you in the bathroom. I've never seen her so upset."

"Gods..." Mila whispers, tears falling down her cheeks.

"She was here with us all night, Rhaenys had to drag both of them home to get some sleep. They'll be back soon."

"I don't know if I can face them." She shudders, "After what I have put them through? I can't believe I've done this again, Creg."

"Shush, Emmie." He soothes her, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "You're the She-Wolf. You're stronger than this. You'll see."

Breaking the speed limit multiple times, Aemond arrives at his family's mansion, his jaw set and face pale as he sees Criston Cole waiting for him. Parking his car, he gives his head of security a confused look, nerves growing as he takes in Cole's grave expression.

"My father...?" Aemond asks, sure Viserys' passing would have caused all of this.

"Alive." Cole says simply, "You need to go inside."

With one final look, Aemond rushes past him. The house is quiet, eerily so, but muffled voices can be heard, their voices grim.

Inside the kitchen, his family stands around the table. Otto braces his hands against the glass, trying to talk calmly to Alicent, who is pacing hysterically. Halaena and Daeron sit at the table, both looking spaced out.

"We must go, father." Alicent sobs, clutching a tissue to her chest as she takes deep breaths, "We must go to the hospital, Rhaenyra said she isn't out of the woods, if she... if-"

"Aemond!" Daeron exclaims, rising from his chair as he meets his brother's eyes.

The other's grow silent. Otto stares at Aemond as if he were an insect, a sneer on his thin lips. The others look at him as if he were a ghost.

"What's going on?" Aemond asks, his body going cold.

Otto pulls out his phone, swiping it open before sliding it across the glass table. Aemond picks it up, grimacing as an article pops up. Pictures of his apartment can be clearly seen, two people engaged in lewd acts. The headline reads "Targaryen Prince trades She-Wolf for Ex-Girlfriend! Spotted Getting Cozy After Viserys Targaryen's Shindig!"

"Shit." Aemond sighs, pressing a hand to his forehead, "How the fuck... gods they must have been outside my flat last night, waiting for something to happen."

"You're a fucking fool." Otto shouts, and Halaena presses her hands to her ears, her snake Dreamfyre slithering up her arm protectively. Aemond straightens his back, leveling Otto with a glare.

"I never meant for it to happen."

"Well, it did, didn't it?" Otto smiles cruelly, "Your... your weakness has once again tarnished this family's reputation. After a year of making sure you seemed like the perfect, model son, you threw it all away by being caught allowing that woman back into your life, discarding Westeros' golden girl in the process. Gods forbid the press find out what's happened to Mila, we'll never see the light of day again!"

Aemond goes still, his skin going cold. Panic erupts in his chest, white hot fear settling inside his ribs and crushing him. His hands shake as he looks around the morbid expressions of his kin.

"What... what's happened to Mila?" Aemond asks, his voice quiet and weak, more like that of a boy's than a man's, "Mother?"

Alicent sits heavily down in a chair, holding a hand to her forehead. Daeron opens his mouth, before closing it and wrapping his arms protectively around himself. Otto merely glares, finger tapping on the table.

"Your love made her sick." Halaena murmurs, as Dreamfyre nuzzles against her neck.

It is like Mila can hear all the sounds in the hospital. Beeping and whirring and talking and sirens, all too loud. The room is large but stuffy, her body hot yet cold, drowning in an ocean yet parched like she was crawling across the Dornish sands. She absentmindedly scratches at her needle mark, making it bleed, warm blood covering her chipping fingernails.

The door opens, and Mila is quick to hide her forearm in the massive sleeves of the hospital gown. A teary face greets her, locks in disarray as if she just woke up.

"Rhaena." Mila sobs, guilt overtaking her as she sees her friend. Rhaena bursts into fresh tears also, running over to collect Mila into her arms, shushing her and petting her hair.

"It's okay, you're okay." Rhaena whispers, her voice light and haunted.

"I'm so sorry." The Stark murmurs, "I'm going to rehab, I'll get better, I swear it."

"Good." Outside the room, the window shows the near empty corridor. Cregan stands against a wall, head rising as someone joins his side. Baela looks tired, dressed frumpy and wearing a face of barely contained anger.

"Baela won't come in?" Mila asks.

Rhaena gnaws her lip, "She said she will talk to you when you're better."

"Oh." Mila whispers, guilt and shame gnawing at her.

"She's not angry at you." Rhaena is quick to explain, "She's furious over the situation with Aemond. We heard Rhaenyra speaking to Alicent outside... I can't believe he would humiliate you like that? And then to... gods, honey."

Mila nods with a tense jaw, playing with her hands as she shakes slightly. Rhaena holds her hands in her own, sharing in her natural warmth. The door opens, and Rhaenyra enters with a soft smile, her hands full of a bouquet of sunflowers.

"Could I have a moment with her, Rhaena?" Nyra asks, placing the flowers down on the bedside table. The younger woman nods, pressing a kiss to Mila's knuckles before rising. As Rhaena leaves, Cregan waits outside. Through the window, Mila can see Rhaena collapse into his arms, and he holds her tightly, murmuring words to her.

Despite the years since they broke up, the fondness between them remains strong. You never truly forget your first love, do you? Mila closes her eyes in pain at the thought. Will Aemond haunt me forever?

The hospital bed creaks as Rhaenyra sits down beside her, taking Mila's clammy hand in hers. Mila smiles at her somberly, looking down at the pamphlet held in her hands.

"Alicent dropped this off, and the flowers." Rhaenyra nods to the sunflowers.

"What is that?" Mila asks, looking at the pamphlet.

"It's a rehabilitation facility, it's called Weirwood Rehabilitation." Rhaenyra sighs, flicking through it, "Apparently, it's one of the best. Many public figures have used it. It's known for its discretion."

"Sounds promising." Mila half-smiles, "Hopefully the Clubfoot will leave me alone for five minutes."

Nyra smiles, though it is pained, her eyes distant as she ponders something.

"What's wrong?" Mila asks, her eyebrows furrowing. Rhaenyra takes a breath, pressing her lips together.

"Aegon's been at Weirwood for the past year." She sighs, "I called them to ask if he was still a patient there, and they said that he has been checked out for a good month now."

Mila let's that sink in for a moment. Aegon was there. Recently. Though having never spoken to the eldest son of the Targaryen clan, it feels as if he will haunt that place. It feels as though she will not escape them, maybe she never will. Taking a breath, Mila nods resolutely.

"Okay." She says softly.

"You still want to go?" Rhaenyra asks, eyebrow quirked.

"...Yeah." Mila nods, looking at the sunflowers, "I need help."

The next morning, Mila is wheeled out of the hospital by Cregan, heading towards where Rhaenyra stands waiting by her car, next to Jace, Luke, Laenora, Rhaena and Baela.

"Should there be a priest here to read my last rites?" Mila rasps.

"I can't believe you." Jace sighs, "You just Mia Wallace'd all over your bathroom, Pulp Fiction style, and you're making jokes?"

"My whole life is a joke at the moment."

Weirwood was named after the forest surrounding it. Many miles from civilisation, the large stone building was nestled deep amongst the dark trees.

By the time they arrived at the facility, Mila was already feeling it. The heroin was leaving her system, and taking all her strength with it. She clinged to Cregan as he helped her to the large, ornate door. Inside, the walls were sage green and the floor grey marble. A dark-skinned woman dressed in a deep blue jumper rushes over, offering Mila a smile as she takes her weight from Cregan.

"Emiliana Stark." Cregan states, nervously bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"I know, I saw her in the tabloids." The woman smiles, "We'll take good care of her."

"Okay... okay." Cregan sighs, body slumping slightly as he gives Mila a sad smile, pressing a kiss to her sweaty forehead before reluctantly turning and leaving.

Mila sobs, fingers grasping onto the ladies soft navy sweater.

"It's alright, it's alright, let's get you to a room." The woman says softly, holding her upright as they walk down one of the adjacent hallways.

The walk down was difficult, Mila's shaking and sweating making her weak and her head felt heavy and swimmy, but the woman persevered, rarely faltering in basically carrying the other woman further down the hall. A dog barks in the distance, each coming down the hallway.

"Sheepstealer, if you don't shut up!" The woman bellows, making Mila's ears ring, "Sorry about that. Here we are!"

Pushing open a door, Mila trips over her own feet, allowing the woman to drag her forwards to deposit her on a bed. The soft sheets offer immediate relief, and Mila practically melts into them.

"Alright, Emiliana. Do you prefer Emiliana or something else? Emily, Milly? Doesn't matter, we'll talk about it later. You can call me Nettles, or Netty if you would like. I'll leave you for a moment to grab you some water. There's a button beside your bed which will alert the front desk if you need help."

With that, Nettles disappears from sight. The room is cold, yet sweltering. The sound of her own heartbeat is deafening. A voice in her head is murmuring, her own voice...

Get high, we need to get high, this will end if we just GET HIGH!

Mila sobbed, her body feeling cold and shaky. Her stomach churned, her blood felt fiery and her skin frozen, shudders wracking her. She knew this feeling well, the heroin leaving her system and her system not knowing what to do without it. Like her and Aemond. Aemond was her own heroin, and now she did not know what to do without him.

Panic is taking her over again, delivering punch after punch as she lets tears stream down her face, grief over her relationship making her detox ten times worse.

Her door opens quietly, a soft voice says something which evades her. A warm hand is pressed to her forehead, taking in her sweating state, and she leans in to the touch despite herself.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.” A man’s voice soothes, “Detoxing is a bitch, but it’ll get better, I promise.”

His hands are warm, rubbing over her shoulder. Mila leans into it, allowing his warmth and comforting scent to bring her some reprieve from the internal battle her body is fighting. The mystery man pulls a second blanket over her, the warmth and weight a welcome sensation. The stranger continues to rub her shoulder, before moving to leave her be.

Her hand shoots out, blindly searching for him.

"Okay, okay, I'm not going anywhere." He chuckles, the bed dipping as he sits down beside her. He runs a hand over her back again.

When she looks up, she meets a pair of big blue eyes, which crinkle as he gives her a kind smile.

“Hi, I’m Aegon.”

AN// Oh no another Targaryen for Mila to become attached to! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The shifting of perspectives between Mila and Aemond may be confusing and I am sorry, it won't become a regular thing x

Lula x