#this is not alina hate by the way in case someone reads it that way?

[sukibenders]

one thing that i'm glad amita suman got to talk about during this con in france is how she plays inej's trauma even though oftentimes it's not in the fucking script, which pisses me off. i'm glad amita has found a way to make the choices that she does, but still. the crows' storylines are very rich, with a lot of unpacking and heaviness and dark topics, and they shouldn't have added the crows if they knew they couldn't do that justice.

hell, they haven't even really done characters like zoya justice either. she should have a bit more screentime than she does. i'm just sad because they have cast members who do care about the books, and who do seem so excited to play these characters, but the show itself is a bit messy.

Oh yeah, I completely understand. I didn't see that panel, but I have seen interviews where she talks about Inej's trauma (that fight in s2) because, without her saying that and knowing what I know in the books I wouldn't have really known that she had a traumatic past, or the extent of it. It's very sad to see that while they go into some aspects of Kaz's trauma (tho I have mixed feelings about how they portray it) they don't do the same justice with Inej. You mean to tell me that the girl who, in the books, has a literal panic attack when just walking past the Menagerie can, in the show, not only walk in but also disarm herself and be totally cool in front of the woman, and possibly man given what he was saying to her ("that one's new" when talking about her knives as she removes them) who abused her? And the way they made her flip her hair during the scene to make it a cool moment was so unnecessary. Inej has a touch aversion in her own way, but you wouldn't know that from the show. Mind you, it was made by the same people who, when in regards to her scene with Toyla, said on social media "sometimes all you need is a little skin" about not only two (or maybe just one) original teenagers but also one, who suffers from PTSD and has a touch aversion because of it, but also the other, who is aroace coded. Like they got dragged so bad that they tried to cover it up as if it didn't happen.

And with Zoya, you can tell that they were just going for the mean girl route added in a quick redemption (why they make her racist?) just for it, but then never bothered to do anything else with her storyline. Like in the books she is nearly forced into a child marriage, at the age of nine, and only "agreed to it" to please her mother who was known to pimp her out from the start. And then had to watch the only person who cared about her at the time get beat just for protecting her. Like Zoya was more than just a mean girl that many in the fandom tried to perceive her as just because Alina didn't like her at the start. I had assumed, maybe in some way, that the show would take into consideration her past and through showing her relationship with the Darkling would show how she possibly fell victim to another predatory relationship because of, not only, the status it brought her but the protection as well (in her backstory it is stated that she had to split meals and steal food so that she and her mother could eat, as well as her mother intentionally attempting to marry her off to a wealthy man, so it can be assumed that she didn't have much prior to being sent to the Little Palace) adding with the fact that she was a Grisha. Even without the "romantic" plot in the show, it can still be assumed that she was mad at Alina because she viewed her as stealing her place, which was next to someone who could provide protection (which she needed as a child). But the show didn't do that, aside from possibly scraping her storyline and giving it to Alina.

Zoya and Inej, my two favorite girlies, I'm so sorry.

[aleksanderscult]

Today I will rant because I want to about that character and how he's treated by some

Lately the rapist comments about him and how he was selfish are getting multiplied which makes me both angry and sad.

When you have the author itself say that she saw the King and Queen as the real villains and that we can make a case about the Darkling's worst crimes then how do some people indirectly call him the worst thing that happened to Ravka and to Alina?

They only treat Aleksander as a villain, emphasizing his sexually creepy moments and selfish motivations and completely disregard the human side of him or his traumatic past.

The Darkling did not spend 500 (and possibly more) years of his life to protect his people and stop the wars for you to call him a selfish evil man. If you want to call someone selfish then look at Baghra that stays warm in her hearth and not giving a single fuck for Ravka. If you want to call someone selfish then take a look at the King and Queen who grow fat and rich while their people and starving and think that being orphaned is "marvelous". If you want to call someone selfish then look at Mal who wanted to leave Ravka and never look back (and in the meantime, it was his country that was in danger) or even Alina.

The Darkling was quite literally the only person that decided to take action for a persecuted group of people without wavering once.

You don't give a single glimpse at his tragic elements. You ignore them. But his isolated and traumatic childhood, abusive mother figure, near-immortality that made him witness people he loved die, rare powers that have isolated him further and desperation to see the Grisha being respected and accepted says hello 🙋.

You call us fans of the category "The Darkling did nothing wrong". Well, just because we don't talk about his crimes every day does not mean we don't know about them. We just decide to talk about the Darkling in our blogs as a human, tragic figure that was much more complex than his "evil" actions. If we wanted to read about the Darkling and his evilness we would read KoS and RoW everyday. Zoya, Tolya and Genya were orators of that. But maybe we just decided to look deeper than this. To cast light to the parts he kept hidden and were so human and still valid.

Some call us even misogynistic for judging Alina. I didn't know that just because we judge one fictional, female character means that we hate all women. Wow. For your information, most of the times we judge the way she was handled by the author more than the character herself.

But having people making the Darkling a simple villain with no humanity is probably one of the worst butchering of a character I've ever seen.

Some people literally took an intriguing, complex character with selfless motivations and turned him into a power-hungry tyrant. Bye guys 💀

I don't know. If you expect from me at least to post about how the Darkling was evil, a tyrant and a rapist then you are on the wrong page. I only write about the Darkling as human most of all. With tragic elements and human emotions and vulnerabilities that were actually there. But some people cannot read past the word "villain".

[oh-saints]

trust

she was only supposed to be carlos sainz jr's lead engineer.

carlos sainz jr x SFengineer!OC

word count: 2k

tw: nothing

note: a) mentions of unmarried!toto, b) as usual, i happen to always write around dawn so ofc this is not beta-read. i swear i'll be answering ur asks around this weekend and put up 'the holiday (pt.2)', sorry for the delay but i can't help but write this down first teheee

“what do you think, alina?”

at the mention of her name, his lead engineer didn’t waste another breath to jump into topics at hand. she presented her case and the justifications behind her decision, statistics and other data tucked under her arsenal in case anyone dared to refute her. all sharp and ever precise, no wishy washy, just like how she presented herself.

carlos remembered he once contemplated raising a concern over the engineer assigned for him. no, not because she is a woman—hannah schmitz of his old company, red bull racing, had proven him wrong so many times about the calibre of the women working in this rigorous field—but because she was aloof beyond belief, borderline unapproachable even. in his early ferrari days, carlos had his moments where he second-guessed himself before engaging her into a conversation, afraid she’d think of his questions stupid, that he had to seek charles’ aid.

charles used to laugh at carlos’ meek revelation but the frenchman also recalled the days where he used to be so intimidated by the woman, thinking she should’ve been assigned to the first driver and not him, who just debuted only a year before joining the italian automobile giant. alas, the no-bullshit-only-facts kind of way she rolled with was what made the entire paddock respected her even more because the least they needed to end the constructor’s championship drought was someone who only wanted hefty pay checks but not glory days.

carlos, for the same reason, had to agree with charles’ sentiment. her calls, more often than not, were more significantly impactful to him gaining podium than even the team principal’s, even when carlos himself doubted his ears when her instructions came to him via the radio. but his respect went off the roof back in silverstone, when he couldn’t see anything straight due to the heavy pour, but alina called the shot to fuck away most of ferrari’s strategies—one that she didn’t think made sense—and told carlos to drive as his instinct went.

at that time, carlos told her she had gone mad. alina didn’t laugh at his response—well, she rarely did to anyone’s—but her response came out stronger than his.

“do you trust me on this, carlos?”

“do you trust me, alina?”

"with my life."

funny how she could do it with less than expressive tone, with less than 10 words exchanged between them. funny it was exactly how carlos could gain his maiden win in formula 1. funny it was also the moment she became an important figure in his life.

the moment carlos stepped out of the car after the long race, he didn’t think twice to sprint to the paddock—because alina hated crowds and preferred to celebrate it in her station—to give her a hug. probably the tightest hug carlos had ever given to someone. but it was worth every penny on his bank account, especially when he noticed a miniscule smile ghosted over her lips.

“i told you to trust me.”

“i did, i do. with my life.”

and the growing smile afterwards made his head spin. he didn’t know there was something else that could intoxicate him when he was high on adrenaline, more than the fact that he could now proudly say he was an f1 race winner. but he didn’t want to trade it for anything else in the world. in fact, he couldn’t wait until the time he could see it again.

“what do you think of alina’s strategy, carlos?”

mattia’s voice interrupted the flashback train he was having but mattia should’ve known better. carlos would always answer this question with, “i’m down to whatever alina plans. she knows best.” call him bullshitting, but it didn’t take away the truth behind his words. he trusted her, with his life, without a second doubt.

but maybe he should’ve trusted alina strictly only for things concerning his racing performance because carlos as heck couldn’t accept the feeling he was having when he overheard the mechanics gossiping alina.

“have you heard? toto asked alina out!”

“fuck! toto fucking wolff?”

“it's a buzz over there. you reckon he's doing it so alina can join them?”

“probably. did she say yes?”

“yeah, man. they're going out tonight.”

“not going to the monza party, then.”

“she never does, anyway. besides, it's the fucking toto wolff!”

never once in carlos’ short life did he mourn for a loss. of what, he didn’t know, but he knew as much as whatever it is was now falling down the drain. he swore he didn’t want to go through it all over again, being bereft of something to the point it suffocated him, made him gaping for an extra air supply.

to say it blew carlos’ mind would be an understatement. he was completely out of it most of the time he wasn’t in the car racing. ironic how he needed something to occupy his mind beyond the grid, yet her stoic voice over the radio was what he soaked himself in. reality be damned.

but as everyone and their mothers say, reality sure had a funny way to slap you in the face. if carlos thought finding out alina was going to a date with the toto wolff, he clearly wasn’t prepared to see how she looked going to a date with toto wolff. the signature red blouse and her series of pencil skirt dashed aside, she was earth-shatteringly—at least to carlos’ definition of earth he was living—stunning in a black cocktail dress, the sparkly ornaments pronounced her eyes even brighter than the chandelier hanging above them as they waited for the elevator car to come and pick them up.

“i thought you’re not going to the monza party.”

“i’m not.”

call him idiot for hoping she’d say the otherwise, even though he—like the rest of the crew—knew like the back of their hand that alina was devoid of places packed with people.

carlos’ heart lurched at the thought she dressed up excellently, had she decided to go to the monza party, black dresscode and all, yet he couldn’t have her come with him. she would surely woo away all the boredom the party would bring, for carlos thought she was the most interesting thing on the planet. but instead, she decided to forego it all; going somewhere else far from the crowd, looking so enthralling he wanted to capture every motion of her breathing, doing something he would absolutely love to ask of her.

“where are you going then? a date?”

“oh, you heard what the mouths in the paddock running with.”

that got to be alina’s longest sentence, sans the strategies and all other jazz in relation to racing. how pathetic that the only time they spoke something not connected with their office relationship was triggered by ferrari’s long standing rival. so pathetic carlos wanted to beat himself for taking everything of alina for granted, now that he realised.

“so, are you?”

the eerie silent bestowed upon them was so cold it prickled carlos’ skin as if frostbite had bitten him down. it was frightening that such silence drove them apart further than the atlantic ocean, yet no words were more powerful than any other answer she could possibly provide him with.

carlos didn’t know what to do with himself. should he be glad she presented him honesty? or should he be devastated they were so compatible that they needn’t any words to understand each other except for this one particular matter?

heck, even if he’d figured out all the answers to those questions, he was sure he still didn’t know what to do with himself. take a look the past years they’d been working together and not a moment did he know what he was doing around her, especially the time when he’d pulled over the helmet over his head after the race was concluded.

the loudest ding! reached to carlos’ ears, as if it was purposely done that way as carlos’ loudest reminder he was running out of time. because let’s be real; when the torger christian wolff of Mercedes-amg petronas f1 team succeed in wooing you, you wouldn’t have the chance to say no to the life laid in front of you like a hollywood’s blockbuster red carpet rolled on your feet.

but at least, carlos had tried before toto did, despite knowing the slim succession rate.

“don’t go.”

the elevator doors hadn’t even shut properly when carlos shot his fire, taking alina aback like a whirlwind no one warned you about. it was the most expressive alina had ever been around the spanish driver, her being perplexed enlarged the eyes he loved the most—for it always shone with burning desire and determination to win around him—and forced herself to inhale a sharp intake of breath. it was an endearing sight, if only carlos wasn’t hanging his sanity on the thinnest line called god’s fate.

alina being analytical alina, she spared some time—god, he wished to never undergo those excruciating seconds again in his life—to scan over carlos’ face through their reflections on the gold plate of the elevator doors, searching hopefully anything to indicate the sainz jr was joking around, like he used to do with lando on the mclaren paddock across the red horse’s.

carlos was glad alina didn’t take her chance to crumble him to his feet by turning herself towards him. his resolution would fall apart in a split second. so he chose to stand straighter, all while locking his black orbs on hers, this time with the same burning desire and determination she always had on a race day.

“why?”

she needs convincing? i'll give her convincing. he was the first to peer down at her, immediately submerging himself into intoxication at the sight of the beauty beside him and soaking in the close proximity he’d been dying to have ever since silverstone. “do you trust me, alina?”

alina, in turn, tried to reach his eyes, this time wavering from the intensity of carlos’ staring. throughout their excellent partnership, alina had never encountered such heavy weight on his eyes and she’d be lying if deep down she wasn’t scared of the combination between those eyes and what lied underneath them. but her fear was overshadowed by her curiosity. “with my life.”

it didn’t take carlos another second—thank god for his f1 driver reflexes—before his unconscious jumpstarted at her response. his hands immediately went up to cup her jawlines, holding her in her place before she could think of anything else, and brought his lips landing on hers. softly, smoothly, precisely inbetween. their eyes shut into perfect dome, noses rubbing gently against one another.

he closed down on her upper lip, as the lower part moved to sync with him, and soon their lips began dancing in perfect sync on the slow, burning floor. nothing was rushed, nor impatient. simply a mutual enjoyment between two people who’d been deprived of something they’d been craving in the dark for far too long.

freedom tasted so good on their clashing tongues as the dance, slowly but surely, picked up some speed and heat altogether. alina seeked for stability by grabbing carlos’ sleek black suit jacket as the towering man pushed the woman gently towards the corner of the small space, their heavy breaths were the only music filling the air.

another loud ding! pulled them apart, as if it was purposely done to bring them back to reality. they both heard another couple taking up some of the remaining space but their eyes never left each other's as they exchanged knowing smiles, the tip of carlos' fingers brushed over her cheeks softly as he rested his forehead on hers.

now they were truly one and the same in every sense of that word. one, same team. not just the driver and its lead engineer, but carlos and alina.

[aajjks]

DHP!JK

the wedding is beautiful. the lilac flowers complimented by the dim blue lights foreshadows alina’s and eunwoo’s love for one another. it’s bright and mixes well, they go great together. i walk through the venue and examine the decor like i’m looking at an art exhibit; one day this wedding will be ours. except, the colors won’t be blue and lilac. the colors will be black and white like yin and yang, because that’s what we are. i’m jungkook’s yin just as he’s my yangs. although, i don’t appreciate hiding in the background looking like i don’t belong but if it means keeping an eye on my beloved, then i’ll play background for now. they say, good things come to those who wait but how long must i wait to play the main character in our fairy tale story? how long will you punish me for not stealing your heart sooner?

“sarang?”

i turn around and see none other than jeon jiyeon dressed in an elegant white dress. in the corner of my eye, i see jungkook take y/n’s hand and leave the venue ‘secretly,’ but i see it. i see everything. “hi mrs. jeon, you look lovely” i bow with a smile on my face, slowly moving around to make sure neither alina, eunwoo, or any of jungkook’s friends see me. “so do you, dear” jiyeon responds as she eyes my floral corset dress.

“it’s a good thing i saw you because we need to talk about that case of yours”

“what about it?”
“y/n told me you assaulted my son. is that true?”

my eyes widen but not too much to give myself away. jiyeon is a lawyer and she’s very good at reading body language. i keep myself relaxed and play along with my shocked reaction. “a-assaulted? me?! oh my—of course not, mrs. jeon. i love jungkook! why, i would never do that. why would she make something like that up?” i place my hand to my chest and widen my mouth a little to add more dramatics. although jiyeon is skeptical, she takes the bait and at this point, i’ve lost track of jungkook.

“it is pretty extreme, but i just had to make sure” jiyeon says as she takes a sip from her glass drink filled with a red liquid, probably wine. “you and y/n look similar. were you two planning this?” i laugh. “maybe we went to the same store. i’m not sure” the twist and turn in the dress to show more of the floral design. “well, you both look beautiful. keep in touch with me, will you? oh, and try not to make a huge commotion about the case. you know i hate publicity” jiyeon says before waving goodbye and joining jaehan to sit with both alina’s and eunwoo’s parents.

now that our short conversation is finished, i hurry out the room and try to find where jungkook may have went but he’s nowhere to be found. as i’m looking for jungkook, i begin to panic about jiyeon finding out that i drugged jungkook with not-so innocent intentions afterwards. she could easily sue me or send me to jail for over 5-years! fuck you, y/n!

i search high and low for jungkook and come across a certain bathroom. for some reason, something is telling me to look inside and curiously, i do. i look both way to make sure nobody sees me and go inside:

“jungkook~ o-oh yeah…right there, daddy~”

my heart sinks as i slowly shut the door behind me and tip toe to find which stall jungkook is in. he’s not in the first one, the second, or the third. in between the spaces of the fourth stall, i can make out jungkook’s hair and the sounds of his voice telling a certain someone how much he loves fucking them—that he loves them. i squint my eyes to see y/n with her head thrown back and mouth ajar with the most filthiest sounds coming from her glossed lips. meanwhile, jungkook encourages it, not really caring if someone hears them or not.

i know i should walk away but i can’t look away. my eyes travel lower to see jungkook’s dress pants handing loosely and her legs wrapped around his waist. the smell of sex fills up the bathroom as the thuds of jungkook’s hips connecting with hers bounces from wall to wall. tears fill my eyes as i watch jungkook kiss y/n with so much love, so much lust...but through the creases of the bathroom stall, her eyes connect with mine.

“fuck me harder, daddy~ yeah…right there. you love this pussy don’t you? i’m yours, right? say it, daddy~ say that i’m yours”

you. bitch.

i bawl my fists up and grit my teeth. it’s all intentional isn’t it?

that’s when i realized, you aren’t as innocent as you appear to be.

~🫧

“fuck me harder, daddy~ yeah…right there. you love this pussy don’t you? i’m yours, right? say it, daddy~ say that i’m yours”

Oh are you trying to make him go crazy? Jungkook fucks you with a newfound vigorous passion. His hips thrust harder and harder against yours.

His dick pistons in and out of you as he continues to fuck you against the wall. “Yes… you’re mine. I love this pussy so fuckin much.” He groans, leaning in to bite your neck as he sucks a dark hickey into it.

“This my fuckin pussy.. ugh— fuck— you feel so good.” He cries out, feeling his orgasm building up. “You’re mine-ngh.. that’s why I fuckin knocked you up.” He blabbers, breathing heavily as you both moan out.

Your cunt feels so hot. It’s sucking him in so deeply, it’s so hard to last.

Jungkook pulls you in for a searing kiss as he thrusts in to your pussy. “Y-Yn baby I’m gonna cum. Cum again for me..” he begs, his hips working overtime.

Your expressions are so fucking hot, he’s got you drooling and moaning like a whore, his whore.

“Cum for daddy- cum all over my cock.” He demands suddenly yanking your hair so you’re looking directly into his eyes.

“Who the fuck are you looking at- pay attention to me!” You cry out and jungkooks anger dissolves.

“Now.. cum for me.” He whispers in your ear. “Or we stay here until you cannot walk.” He threatens.

Jungkook smirks as you gush all over his cock. You’re such a slut. You love being degraded.

“Ahhhh fuck yeah..”

He groans as he shoots his load inside you, filling you up. He loves fucking you raw.

“Now let’s fix ourselves up.”

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

My DiaLovers OC - Alina

so i haven’t posted about Alina much because she’s my first OC and i was kinda nervous but i’ve been writing her origin story and my amazing friends in my discord server have been so encouraging, so i feel like i should share her with the world. 

Content warnings for mentions of Kou-typical canon themes (CSA, drug use, prostitution etc).

Alina was a child back in Romania when the Mukami’s were in the orphanage. She was a year older than Kou, and was one of the children seen as so beautiful they were sold off as merchandise for aristocrats to make money. Like Kou, she was given nicer clothes and food, and met Kou through this. They were uneducated, couldn’t read/write, and only knew how to get dirty money.

Her and Kou gradually got closer and closer, and Alina was the person who introduced Kou to aurolac (if you haven’t seen my post about aurolac, see: here) and cigarettes. They had a somewhat sexual relationship due to their shared trauma, however, Alina was seen as a bad influence by Ruki and Yuma, so they often tried to stop Kou seeing Alina. Then, the Mukami brothers “died”, and Kou and Alina were pulled apart. 

Following the themes in Lost Eden, Alina - as with many of the Romanians who died in the revolution - became a ghoul following death by accidental aurolac overdose, converted by Karlheinz for his “experiment”. She was raised by the ghouls and taught (spoken) Japanese, but continued living in poorer regions of Rotigenberg. She was there when Kino entered the picture and prompted an uprising and dislikes him, but the one good thing Kino did was introduce her to Kou again, who she then seeks out. 

You can read about Kou and Alina’s past and re-union more in this fanfic (still have one more chapter left). 

This is the only picture I have of Alina from picrew which isn’t art made by my friends. Picrew doesn’t let you add the ghoul’s eyes (black sclera and gold pupils) so just uh. use your imagination. 

She's a vulnerable narcissist. On the outside she's very sarcastic and bold, and speaks vulgarly with no filter. But she can also be harsh, outwardly a cunt, easily triggered (aka angered), does things she knows will make people hate her because it's the only way of controlling how people see her. She wants people to be scared of her and that was the only way to survive as a girl in the orphanage. Can't hate someone who everyone already hates, right? That kind of thing. She's willing to do things like ruin families for money, violence, being mean etc, because it's the only way to survive in her mind. She has the same give-and-take mindset as Kou, and is quick to fire up and cool down like him. 

On the inside however, she's very soft at heart and cares a huge amount, which is her downfall in some cases. She smokes a lot, Parliament 100s specifically but she's not fussy, and takes pretty much any drugs she can afford or find, though cocaine is her favorite. However, she absolutely cannot stand other people seeing her weak and tends to self-isolate if something is wrong. She also has a complex relationship with religion – Romania was (and still is) a very catholic country and back in the orphanages. Part of her believes in God, but God must hate her; nonetheless, she keeps a rosary from back then hidden. 

Even though she's not mean on purpose to people she doesn't have a grudge against, she can come across as blunt or harsh. Weak points include the fact her spoken Japanese isn't Amazing, and the fact she can't read/write which she can be embarrassed by. Since she grew up in poverty, things like TV and films are pretty foreign to her, though she's familiar with Kou's work. She doesn't consider anything taboo or TMI, and dislikes Ruki and Yuma and will talk shit about them to people. 

People close to her in a romantic sense risk codependency because she has attachment issues and latches onto people. That's mainly because of her trauma with men, so she needs to have control over the men in her life. Unfamiliar men getting too close sends her into fight or flight mode. However, her female friends are everything (especially Tsumiki check out my friend’s OC, our OC’s are besties lol) because it's someone who likes her despite everything, and she can be quite protective of female friends. She does clash with rich people but can form attachments too. 

She's also good with kids, surprisingly. Even though she'd never have kids herself and would immediately have an abortion if she got pregnant, she's only like that because she knows she'd inadvertently traumatize her kid. She wouldn't want the responsibility of a kid and wouldn't be willing to give up drugs and cigarettes. But as a kid she was abandoned by her parents and left to her own devices and look where that got her. The very few ghouls in her village who see her as more than just a drug addicted whore sometimes let her babysit their kids when they're out. Unfortunately, the majority of her village see her in a negative light, which she is also fine because she knows she’s at fault. 

uuuuh my ask box is open if anyone is interested more. thank u for ur time invested in my silly little OC. 

[lynsstrange]

six of crows winter guard headcannons!

okay so this is sort of obscure and a lot of people might not understand it (unless you're both a grishaverse fan and happen to do color/winter guard, in which case, can we be friends?) but this is a personal fun thing for me as a guard member so yeah <3

Kaz: He only does rifle line, and a bit of sabre. his sleight of hand/arm strength is very useful for it. he doesn't do flagline. hates it. can you imagine kaz brekker spinning a flag? yeah, neither can i. he's the type of person who learns dropspins on rifle, watches someone do a five, goes "like this?" and tosses it perfectly. (believe me, there's a girl on my team like this.)

Inej: Team captain. does flag and sabre, as well as some rifle, but doesn't like it as much. sabre and flag are just more graceful and fluid, like she is. needless to say, she's awesome at everything. Being a literal acrobat, too, she excels at dance more than anyone else on the team. Big stunts and dance solos are often incorporated just for her, because she's so captivating and elegant in the way she moves.

Jesper: being hyper-adhd and unable to sit still, he's constantly trying new things and wanting to learn every piece of equipment he can. he even does a bit of baton on the side. he's kind of a wild card, and there's not one particular thing he excels at. i think rifle would secretly be his favorite, though, because gun. he is really great at super high tosses, and likes to show off to wylan. "did you know i can toss a fourteen on rifle?" "that's not physically possible, jesper." "uh, yeah, i know it is, because i can do it."

Wylan: he plays flute in marching band during marching season, and he only really joined winter guard because Jesper was doing it and asked him to do it with him. so he sticks to flagline, but is working on weapons on the side. he works a lot on the production of the show, too. He writes some of his own original music for it and mixes all the audio/sound effects.

Matthias: i have a little headcannon that he plays snare drum in marching band, and, like Wylan, only joined after copious begging from Nina. he won't admit it, but he actually kind of likes it. rifle, that is. he isn't a big fan of flag, but being big and strong, he's able to do really impressive tosses on both pieces of equipment. doesn't do sabre. it's too tiny and light for him, he hates it.

Nina: steals the show performance-wise, she gets really into roles, especially dramatic ones. often gets the team more points just because of her standout performance abilities. big dance and flag girl. she does some weapon line, but much prefers flag, and always gets assigned impressive solos on it. she also helps with costume and set design, and always brings flare to shows. is a big team motivator, comes up with all the traditions and team parties.

other mix-matched in-universe headcannons:

Per Haskell is their very uninvested, uninvolved band director

Pekka Rollins is their rival school's guard coach that Kaz hates with a burning passion

Kuwei is a Shu exchange student that tried winter guard for a season. After some mysterious incident with jesper and wylan, however, he decided it wasn't for him.

Alina, Zoya, Tamar, Tolya, Genya, and Nikolai are all alumni that did winter guard. The Darkling was their toxic team captain that got kicked off. Zoya and Genya came back to help coach for a season, but Zoya couldn't stand Kaz.

Wellll that's it for now. If you've read through all of this somehow, thank you so much <33333

[dregstrash]

helping each other out

a/n: Once upon a time @rietveldbrothers​ wrote a fic for @wafflesandkruge​ for a gift exchange. Then I read it, and wanted to write Nikolai’s POV. This came out of it. (It’s a college au if you didn’t read the original fic)

Nikolai knew his professor hated him. It wasn’t like how other students gets one failing grade or knocked off a few participation points, and they lament how they had pissed their professor off on the wrong kind of day. No. Professor Morozova well and truly hated Nikolai.

And the feeling was absolutely mutual.

Unfortunately, he needed to pass his Ethics class, and whether he liked it or not, he needed to do some serious sucking up if he had any hope to keep his grade from seriously negatively affecting his GPA. To add to his ever growing misfortune, he couldn’t even have time to give proper bribing time because he was so busy having verbal sparring matches with the profusive Zoya Nazyalesnky. It really also didn’t help that there was a rumor that she used to sleep with the professor, and that's why Professor Morozova let her slide on some of her harsher and unfounded critiques of Nikolai’s personal life.

He was almost positive that those rumors were untrue (call it a hunch). But it really didn’t help his case that no matter how well-argued or well-researched Nikolai was he just managed to skate by with a passing grade.

So, in the spirit of working smarter not harder, he went for a Plan B.

“Alina!” He called to the platinum blonde who jolted up surprised from the outdoor table she had snagged out in the sun.

“Oh, hi Nikolai!” Her smile was guarded, but she looked comfortable enough for him to take a seat right next to her. “Can I help you with something?”

He smiled, “Actually, yes.” He leaned a little closer to her, and while she did lean slightly away, he noticed a faint blush brush over her cheeks. He took it as a good sign. “You wouldn’t mind doing me a favor, would you?”

“It depends.” She said feigning an indifference that was too forced to be casual.

“It’s a favor that’ll benefit us both. I promise.”

“What do you want?”

“I just need a study buddy for the next Ethics socratic seminar. Morozova is pretty close to fucking up my GPA, and I just need some pointers on how to get some talking points he doesn’t hate so I can at least pass.”

Alina huffed a laugh, “You’re one of the top students in there, Nikolai, you don’t need my help.”

From the corner of Nikolai’s eye he could see a dark figure like a shadow start to creep across the quad.

Nikolai casually threw an arm around her, and brought himself even closer. He felt her stiffen at the sudden closeness, and even if he was willing to use Alina Starkov to get under his professor’s skin, he wasn’t a monster. So, he loosened his hold and created a little bit more space between them.

“To the contrary, Starkov, I kind of do.”

Professor Morozova passed their table with a cold glare and disappeared into the building behind them.

“I just noticed that the professor has somewhat of an…affinity for you.”

At this Alina definitely darted her eyes around, looking for someone to overhear their conversation. Some part of Nikolai wanted to ask. The protective part of him wanted to gather his shining armor and ride to her defense. The idea of being the hero without anything in return. But Nikolai was a pragmatic bastard. He knew he could help Alina, but first  Alina needed to help him.

“Here are the facts: Morozova, for whatever reason hates me, he definitely doesn’t hate you, and you most certainly feel uncomfortable around him.”

Alina ran her hands through her hair. Nikolai followed the motion with his eyes. She really was beautiful, but it was in the ways that he found most girls attractive. She was quieter than most people in their class. She was the kind of person that lends people her notes or offers to pair up with the one student who was a little too socially awkward to find a partner. She was sweet. Nikolai knew how to handle sweet. But he also knew sweet had a tendency to become boring.

“What do you suggest?”

“Join my socratic session. Take my side on my points. Make it look like you actually like me, and maybe he can lay off just a little.”

“If you’re so convinced he likes me, how do you know he won’t hate you more if I convince him I actually like you?”

Nikolai’s grin came on its own volition, “Oh c’mon, Starkov, don’t pretend like you don’t really like me. You’re a pretty bad liar.”

The glare she threw at him was probably the cutest thing he has ever seen.

“You said I would get something out of it, what is it?”

Alina’s phone dinged, and Nikolai glanced down and saw the name that popped up.

He smirked, “How about I help you get that boy toy you call a friend to expedite his pining and ask you out?”

If Alina was blushing before, she was beet red and about one hundred percent more angry.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She snapped.

“I’m just saying, Starkov. Nothing like a bit of jealousy to make a man reassess what he’s about to lose. You know how it is.” He raised an eyebrow, “Or are you scared you might actually fall for me?”

That seemed to be her last straw because for such a small girl, she is freakishly strong.

“Alright, alright,” Nikolai appeased as he rubbed the sore spot Alina hit. As much as Nikolai could tease her forever, he still needed her help. “Seriously though, you don’t have to tell me anything going on with Morozova. I won’t even ask. But I suspect it’s something that the faculty of this place would not be so approving of. So, whenever you want to do something about it, just let me know. He might be tenured, but luckily for you, I have parents who are willing to throw money at anything that guarantees their son doesn’t sink another yacht. What do you say?”

She bit her lip in thought. After a few more moments, she sighed, “Fine. I’ll help you.”

Nikolai’s smile was big and wide and this time when he brought her closer, she was laughing.

“You are a wonder, Starkov.”

“Hey, Alina I got–”

A new voice cut into their moment and Nikolai looked up to see a semi-familiar face holding two cups of coffee.

Nikolai didn’t really know Mal. But he did recognize him. It was hard to miss the broad shouldered, muscle mass that was always waiting outside of their Ethics class–waiting for his “friend.” Plus, it was a small enough campus that he’s just seen him around. Usually hanging around Alina. He really thought that maybe Mal wasn’t the relationship type–it was the only reason Nikolai could think of why he wasn’t actually with her.

But based on the way he looked like he wanted to evaporate Nikolai with his eyes– he was sure that Mal was just being an idiot.

“Care to introduce us?” Nikolai grinned towards the newcomer.

“Um, yeah.” Alina said, shaking off Nikolai’s arm. He let it fall off her shoulders, but then rested on the other side of the bench on the other side of Alina’s leg. “Nikolai, this is Mal. Mal this is Nikolai. We’re in the same Ethics class.”

“Pleasure.” Nikolai held out his hand, but Mal just stared at it.

He curled his hand back to his palm then knocked on the table and started to get up. He knew when he had overstayed his welcome. Besides, he saw someone far more fascinating across the grassy field.

“Well, it’s nice to officially meet you, Mal.” Nikolai said to the boy standing statue still in front of them. And because he just couldn’t help it, he turned to Alina with a wink and said, “I’ll call you later, Starkov.”

Mal’s face turned impossibly more stoney, but that was going to be Alina’s problem now. He half jogged over to the covered archway that served as a path through the history buildings.

“Nazyalensky!” Nikolai called to her. Zoya didn’t even stop, but she did toss her head back at him.

“I don’t have time for your idiocy today, Lantsov.”

He caught up and walked alongside her.

“We both know that’s not true. You seem to always have time for me.”

“What do you want?”

“I think we have some unfinished business with that last talking point in Morozova’s class.”

Her annoyance couldn’t have been more apparent, “That was literally three days ago. I didn’t peg you for the obsessive type.”

“Shows how much you know about me,” He quickened his steps until he was facing her, “I can be quite obsessive.” He grinned then said, “Just admit that I had a point last class. About the ethics of international law and its effects on global trade.”

When Alina had glared it was adorable. When Zoya glared it had all the edge of a jagged knife going through him.

He didn’t know what it said about him that his heart started to hammer at the latter.

“I have a law class in fifteen minutes. Which is not enough time to tell you how wrong you are.” She moved her hand in a shooing motion. “Move.”

Nikolai tilted his head playfully, “Is this the part where I’m supposed to say: Make me?”

Zoya took a step forward. It should have been intimidating. Hell, Nikolai was intimidated. But he couldn’t even say that he hated it.

“You make it sound like making you do anything would be a challenge.”

“Care to test that out, Nazyalensky?”

She gave him her signature eye roll and sidestepped him. This time Nikolai didn’t follow. He just watched her leave with a light feeling in his chest.

[caliburn-the-sword]

Spoiler warning: Ruin and Rising, Encanto, The Blood Traitor (Lynette Noni)

Controversial opinion of the day: I actually like the *protagonist loses magic at the end of the story* trope. I don't think I have to specify that this is only the case when it's done well lmao because that literally applies to anything and everything.

First I’m going to start with Shadow and Bone. I haven't read the series in years and have not been up to date beyond Six of Crows (the rest of the books are buried under my tbr lol) so like forgive me if I'm misremembering or if new information has been revealed, but to me, Alina no longer being the Sun Summoner was the right thing to do. She was never this saviour, this messiah, she was an ordinary girl who loved a boy. Losing her magic meant she lost that status, letting her return to being an ordinary girl who loved the boy. And isn't part of the hero's journey to return home?? Losing her magic doesn't make her lose her memories or experiences, what makes Alina Alina. It was just one part of her though that said book Alina didn’t have that many other parts to her so I’m glad that netflix Alina has a lot more personality lmao

ANYWAY moving onto the Prison Healer. Now idk just how popular this is as a book from Australia so you might not have a clue what I’m talking about lmao but anyway, Kiva losing her magic was ALSO necessary. Ngl I was pissed with her refusing to apologise to so many people for such a large portion of the book, but her losing her magic at her sister’s hands was ALSO necessary. This one is a lot more obvious than Shadow and Bone, thankfully, it’s quite literally stated in the book. It’s the ultimate act she had to make in order to redeem herself for Jaren, even when he’s already forgiven her. There is also her making sure she doesn’t ever become like her sister or mother, but more importantly than that, I think, is that she is correcting a wrong her ancestor Torvin made centuries ago. I’m not entirely sure about the concept of afterlife in Wenderall, but Sarana can now be at rest because (for now) Torvin’s power has been laid to rest, which was what set this entire thing in motion to begin with. And I feel like Kiva is so like and unlike Alina, in that she supressed her powers for so long like Alina until it surfaced because they saved someone they loved, but unlike Alina, Kiva also spent a lot of time in fear of her own power. The way I saw it, she didn’t necessarily have a love for her power. It’s literally stated that unlike the Vallentis’ elemental power, Kiva’s comes from her love of people. The way she often described her power, it’s a practical thing, it’s a tool that she can use to heal, but not her only tool, which is why it’s an especially amazing thing she goes to the Wenderall equivalent of med school.

And this is where Encanto unfortunately falls short. I cannot describe how happy I was watching the Madrigal family losing their power. This wasn’t in a vindictive, yes, now they all know how Mirabel felt, because that would be drawing the completely wrong conclusion. This has definitely be said a 100 times before by many other people, but Mirabel’s family needed to lose their powers in order to properly heal, for the abuela to finally learn her lesson. And so it felt like it was cheapening that when the Madrigals got their magic back. There has been no permanent consequences (and I very hesitantly use that term, because no family should suffer just for one to learn, but I can’t think of any better term) that the abuela has to accept and adapt to. Don’t get me wrong I loved the movie, this is really the only bone I had to pick with it.

You don’t have to agree with me, of course. But I do hope that if you have previously hated this trope, you have some food for thought.

[thisisdes]

I’m supossed to be doing homework, but instead I’m watching season 2 of Shadow and Bone. Since my dear sister hasn’t started it yet (and I have no one else to talk about it) I’m gonna put my reactions here :) hope you enjoy it

*this will contain spoilers*

Resume of episode 1, 2 and 3 because i decided to do this way too late

- Alina really looks like she needs weeks of sleep

- No matter in what episode, all of Kaz’s memories break me a little more

- I’m happy that Tantee is dead but... Inej deserved to make her pay

- Something that I adore that the show does its when Inej is being quite and you can only hear the movement of the knifes

- THERE’S ONLY ONE BEEEEEEED!!!!

- I’ve only read SoC and CK and I don’t want to read the main trilogy just because I’m loving Mal SO MUCH and all I’ve heard about book Mal is ugh

- The zemeni people it’s incredible, how they perceived grisha’s power and how they protect Alina *cheff kiss*

- Also Mal going back to pay for what the soldier broke... he’s amazing

- I understand Kaz’s point about telling the truth to Sturmhund... but i was hoping he would’ve keep his word

- Inej and Nina ARE the best duo

- The whole thing about Jesper not remembering Wylan it’s something I didn’t know I needed. Like... the potential??? That’s fanfic material right there

- And also then he remering him in the middle of a gunfire???

- The taxidermist (if that was his name... sorry if not) gave me vibes of that creepy guy in the Charlie’s angels movie

- Alina: don’t kill the amplifier

- Also Alina: *kills the amplifier*

- Yeah... I would’ve also punch Nikolai in that case...

- Genya and David are part of my world and they should not suffer

- And yes, Genya had her face desfigured and thats enough pain for her already (without counting everything in the past)

- Mathias in hellgate was sad more than painfull

- But the look when he saw Nina...

- And the dreams he had before!!!

- Honestly i don’t remeber in what order all happened, i just know that things happened

Now E4. Let’s begin

- Wow, Alina and Nikolai look so in love *sarcastic*

- I swear, if anything happen to my dear precious boy Mal...

- Why does Kaz looks so good while is all blody?? It’s not fair

- Inej helping the women scape ❤️ I just know this is where she finds her purpose

- Wylan and Jesper. I just love them. They’re cute and deserve all the happiness.

- Also Nina. I love her. She almost caught me.

- “I didn’t know if you were-” “I’m fine” akhdajskja I’m weak

- Back to the main trama (is it the main trama? there are too much tramas), i only know Vasily for... 5 minutes has he been in the show? I don’t know, hate him.

- On the other hand, I love Nikolai

- I kinda shipp Nikolai and Alina??? but at the same time i love their dinamic as platonic friendship???

- Oh, good. He’s dead.

- GO BAGHRA, GO!! GO GENYA, GO!!

- Kaz telling Pekka that his mistake was to love someone... and then being rude with Inej so she leaves him... there’s only one way I can read that

- that end ... without words

Ok, its 2 am in Chile, I haven’t finish my homework due tomorrow, so maybe I’ll finish later??? Or maybe I’ll delete this later, who knows.

Btw, I’m not a native english speaker, so if there’s any mistake please tell me and I’ll fix it

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Also considering how Alina seems being this saviour of Ravka as a burden(though that doesn’t equate hating being Grisha or her powers because that’s not the case!)you would think she would listen more to Aleksander’s POV and decide that keeping the Fold isn’t a bad solution. She can still destroy the Volcra but the Fold as whole could serve as a threat to other countries and could actually leads to the end of the war. At the end she did much worse to Ravka than Aleksander yet he’s the one getting vilified while she gets to reap the benefits of the system that’s abusing her people. What a nice message there,B*rdugo and how convenient that she ends the series(for now)with Zoya being a queen even though she has neither the training nor ability to be a good leader and we have no idea what type of queen she would be.

(Book Spoilers particularly from ROW)

This may be a controversial statement I don't know, and to be completely transparent I am saying this having not read the duology but I honestly think LB made a mistake in going back to the original trilogy characters in the duology. I feel like she should have just left it alone. I mean she had a good thing going with the six of crows characters, from what I can tell people really liked those books and those characters. I can get what she was trying to do, she was a young writer when she wrote the original trilogy and she made some mistakes and wanted to fix them. However from what I've seen of people's reactions to the duology it seems like her trying to fix the mistakes just made those mistakes more obvious and caused alot of contradictions. People expressed their anger at how Alina was stripped of her powers and that this didn't exactly scream female empowerment and so she tried to fix it by making Zoya overpowered but this just highlighted how tragic Alina's fate was. People were upset that there wasn't a grisha on the throne and that it was a Lantsov who even though he was a nice guy was still part of the royal family that had kept the grisha in subjugation, who got the throne. She tried to fix this by putting Zoya on the throne but this didn't make sense because just like how Alina didn't have the training or experience to be general of the second army in S&S Zoya doesn't have the training or experience to be queen. Also I think alot of people felt like it should have been the conclusion of Alina's story, that she should have been that grisha queen and so seeing it go to Zoya, a character that had been mean and unpleasant towards Alina, left a bitter taste in alot of fans mouths. Again it also highlighted just how bad Alina's ending was. The other thing alot of people had an issue with was the darkling's death. So she brings him back and tries to give him a redemption arc. I also find it funny when antis argue that the darkling shouldn't get a redemption arc in the show because he's evil and not every villain should get a redemption. I also find it funny that LB said in an interview that she thinks the darkling is beyond redemption because she literally gave him a redemption arc in ROW! Like correct me if I am wrong because this is based off what others have told me but he sacrifices himself to save everyone else. He went from being someone who the narrative tells us is selfish and power hungry, to someone who makes the ultimate sacrifice in order to spare others lives and save the world, what is that if not a redemption? The definition of a redemption arc is when a antagonist does something to make up for their past sins and mistakes. I feel like suffering through eternal torture to save the world covers that personally. However again this is a fix that doesn't completely satisfy because whilst yes the darkling becomes the self sacrificing hero it is written in a way that, one still serves as more of a punishment and two is begrudgingly given, I mean there's a scene where the 'heroes' debate whether or not they should let him play the part of the hero. To be honest when I read that extract I actually found it really uncomfortable and well icky. I mean it was these same people that had caused the problem in the first place by not listening to the darkling when he said they should destroy the fold they should use it as a tool and weapon against their enemies, now they are mocking the darkling's solution because heaven forbid they let him be seen as a hero for making a sacrifice that will cause him an eternity of endless suffering. I mean when you think about what the darkling was going to have to go through in order to save them all its really appalling to see these supposed heroes talking so callously and with so little empathy about it. It was actually that extract that made me finally decide that I definitely wasn't going to waste my time reading the whole duology. But I really do think it would have been better if she had just left those characters as they were and either focussed on the six of crows or

created a whole new world with new characters. But as always that's just my opinion.

[sanktyastag]

genuinely so confused with people who hate show!darklng. show!darkling is as much of a part of oppressed minority as book!darkling is but with even more 'validation' for his purpose, and i see people still hate show!him saying "oh but he is very bad in book" but then i see them rooting for book m*l LIKE HOWWW [i do kinda understand with those who dislike book!darkling but im still as baffled when when they root for book m*l]

ah, the good old darkling vs mal debate, lol.

in all honesty, i think whether someone prefers mal or the darkling when they watch/read SaB really comes down to how different fans like to engage with media.

i really enjoy politics, moral ambiguity, and fiction as a tool to examine real world oppression. as a result (and incredibly predictably to every single person who knows me) my favorite character is the darkling, because his character is a great lense to examine those different aspects of the series from. but, let's be honest here - both the books and the show only engage in politics, gray morality, and discrimination and oppression against minorities in like... the most surface-level way possible. if you're not already prone to getting over-invested in those fictional aspects, there's very little incentive to do so - because both the books and the show only set the darkling up as a focal point to examine those concepts in book 1, when alina thinks he could possibly be a good person. as soon as the darkling is revealed to be an eViL mAnIpUlAtOr, quite literally all of the nuance is stripped from his character, and we no longer engage with any valid points he may or may not have.

which means, if you're not super interested in socio-political worldbuilding, or you don't really want to examine war from a philosophical or moral standpoint, the books and show won't make you, and so it's nice and easy to just view the darkling as the amoral antagonist who needs to be taken down. i honestly don't blame fans for not liking him in the books, because the books don't... really want you to. and the show does pretty much the same thing. the show stops sympathizing with the darkling the second baghra lets the truth drop, and so every single thing he was previously shown to care about is now framed as the manipulation of an evil, calculating villain. so if a fan looks at the darkling, sees all the evil shit he does, and doesn't want to look past all of that, in order to critically examine his character, and the biased way he's viewed... i mean. yeah. then they wouldn't be a fan of his. they're more than justified in that, in my opinion. "this character is interesting, you just have to look past all the nonsensical extremist, stupid bullshit he does that harms everyone around him" isn't going to be a universal opinion, and i don't blame them for not wanting to go out of their way to sympathize with an uncompromising, murderous bastard who doesn't really respect anyone else's opinions other than his own (which, i think, is true even of show!darkling, although he feels worse about the fact that he's screwing people over. like he might cry about it, but he's still going to go forward with his plan, regardless of who objects). there's a reason darklina fans spend so much time writing about what they think would have been a more satisfying or interesting character arc for the darkling to go through - because canon absolutely doesn't do him any favors. like at all.

and on the other side, there's mal. i actually like both show and book mal, even though i don't think book mal was always handled incredibly well. i think he's a fairly sympathetic character with phenomenally bad coping mechanisms, and that the story spends essentially no time actually exploring his negative character traits in a meaningful way, which means, again, that we're given a character who the audience is tasked with doing most of the legwork for, if they want to like him. just like darkling fans very rarely excuse every single thing he's ever done, i don't actually see mal fans defend all the shit he pulls - beyond when both sides are baiting each other, in which case everyone seems to say the most black and white shit i've ever heard. but that's just kind of how online discourse works, so i won't judge people based off that, lol.

i think most fans of book mal seem to take his character, examine his negative traits and where they stem from, pick how they, personally, would like to see those issues addressed, and then put in the work to give him and alina the breathing room to do go through that character growth together.

so, by and large, i think fans of book mal and show mal just have different concepts that they find interesting or satisfying to explore in the media that they like. i obviously can't speak for others, but generally with mal and alina, i do think it's an interesting coming of age story, and has a smaller-scale, trauma-focused approach to the over-arching, wide-scale moral dilemmas that i focus on when i think about the darkling and alina. they're two flawed characters, thrust into a horrible situation, and they're desperately trying to get through it together, while fighting for the happy, peaceful lives that no one else has ever cared about them achieving.

so, yeah. in the end, i think it's really about what a fan wants from the media they consume. there's not really a wrong answer, in my opinion. it's only when people start judging each other over their fictional preferences that things start getting rocky, which is something that both darkling/alina shippers and mal/alina shippers could probably be better about, as needlessly antagonistic posts are prominent in both ship tags.

[aleksanderscult]

Part 2 of Aleksander Morozova being a jealous bitch

So. We already covered most of the Darkling's jealous moments from "Shadow and Bone" (hehehe, it was fun) and now this is the rest. I had so much fun doing these as well.

(Here's part 1, part 3, part 4, part 5 and the bonus content in case someone missed them)

Grab your popcorn people and let's dive in! 🍿

It's not a jealous moment, I know 😭 (Actually it's the result of it). But he's so emotionally done and drained he needs a therapist ASAP. Our boy has turned to drinking to deal with the pain of Alina abandoning him, no longer loving him, loving someone else AND most importantly one of his greatest dreams (finding the stag, giving the colar to Alina and using it to enter and control the Fold) is no longer a victory. He's not celebrating anything. He just stands there sulking with a bottle of kvas beside him. He wanted her to be on his side willingly. To do this together. And now his dream, his long-awaited victory went puff.

Oh! By the way, he's not drunk here. Leigh has confirmed it and her explanation makes sense:

Again. Not exactly a jealousy scene but it would be foolish to leave it aside.

He is so good at reading people. But also he tries so hard here to make her talk to him. He's like "Speak to me. Start talking". He brought her all the way to his tent where he's having an emotional breakdown (he could have hidden this part of himself, this vulnerable and broken scene of him, but he lets her see him this way) to make her explain to him why she did what she did. Why did she run? Why did she believe Baghra that everything was a lie (even his feelings for her)? Did she stop to think what her loss, her abandonment would mean for him (I love that last line of his and I'm gonna make a post about it in the future)? And he's using an obvious threat towards Mal's life to make her talk. He knows Mal is the only thing that can arouse her attention to him. Boy, isn't he desperate for her attention. Her explanations.

I CAN'T 😭

He's so like: "I gave you power, strength, encouraged you and supported you and you chose a freaking tRaCkEr??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"

"... keep house for your tracker." HE'S SO SARCASTIC PLEASE-

Also, he seems genuinely surprised at the lengths Alina would go for Mal. She's willing to see him exiled from Ravka if that means that she can join him too.

Literally the Darkling with Alina's way of thinking here:

First of all, he's right.

Second of all, he literally doesn't give two fucks about Mal 😭😭

(Again the scorn and sarcasm here😚👌)

For him, he's worthless, unworthy of attention, another passing otkazat'sya but he's still important to Alina (a huge fucking inconvenience in other words).

Btw, is it me or does he sound a little hurt, a little annoyed that Alina doesn't care that he betrayed him? And that she only cares for Mal? And not for him. Just for Mal.🙃 Like "you don't even care how I feel about it. The only thoughts you have are about him (okay gonna shut up now).

AGAIN, he tries to force her to talk to him. He is losing control of his emotions, the whole betrayal and jealousy situation makes him crazy and that's why here he tries to regain control. Do you remember what Leigh said before? That the Darkling doesn't like being out of control? Yep! We see it here, clear as day. He hates it. And he seems desperate to regain it. So he makes her beg.

(and the fury he has and lets out through a painful grip. He is INCAPABLE of tolerating the reality that Alina loves Mal more than him.)

Also, are you really sure you want to know how much she loves him, Aleks boy?? 'Cause I think the honest answer would make you drink five more bottles of kvas😭

The fact that he wants to make sure that she will witness his death.

It gives such strong vibes of "I'll kill that asshole and I want you to be there to see it".

I mean he definitely does it 'cause he's a traitor and deserter but there's also so much bottled resentment. He could have hanged him, shoot him in a corner or stab him and that would be the end of that. But no, he has a special punishment for him 'cause there are personal feelings here. A punishment that Alina must witness.

Dark jealousy here indeed.

So here's part two of Aleksander being done with Mal, Alina, his feral feelings and the world. On part three I'll analyse his salty "Siege and Storm" moments (some of the most iconic lie there).

[serpenteve]

what do you think of this post? I like the Darkling but I feel like the other person makes a lot of good points? It's only two people arguing so I'd love a third opinion.

So I've reblogged from other people who have outlined their points more articulately than I could have. I initially didn't want to get involved with that post because there's a lot of points being made and argued for and against that can't really be responded to quickly or shortly and I've been running around trying to get my housing situation in order for the last little while to delve into fandom discourse lmao 😂

That said, there are some things I agree with, some things I don't.

I can't remember which user made the original post that this post is responding to but the original had this line:

Because the Darkl*ng literally says “The power of Grisha is coming to an end”, which means power had to be there in the first place.

I remember disagreeing hard when I read this because this is a blatant misrepresentation of the context of that line. The Darkling is not talking about any political, social, or economic power the Grisha have. He was literally just talking about weapons.

The Darkling knows that the only reason the Grisha are currently useful to the King is because he needs them and their magic powers to cross the Fold and keep that connection to their ports. Without their role as soldiers, without the Fold making them useful, they are in a precarious position. The Darkling is right to be concerned about what an arms revolution could mean for the social role of Grisha in Ravka. They are only as useful as the monarchy sees fit and once shit hits the fan, they are likely worse off than the otkazat'sya, considering how times of economic stress and social upheaval causes people turn on marginalized groups and/or scapegoat them. We already see a hint of this in the original trilogy when the First Army soldiers turn on the Grisha when word of the Darkling's failed coup reach the other military posts. Alina talks about "a wave of anti-Grisha sentiment" sweeping the country.

There was another relevant post someone made a few months back about how fandoms sometimes confuse a group of people having magic powers as having actual political, social, and economic power. This may also be because the easier route in fiction when trying to write about fantasy racism is to make the group with the magic power actually be in power and actively oppress the muggle population---Harry Potter's fantasy fascists being a prime example of this. But this is not the case with the Grisha trilogy.

Also, Otkazat;sya is a slur used by the Grisha to say non-Grisha. Do you ever hear anyone use this word nicely? No.

Also hard disagree. If "otkazat'sya" is considered a slur, then it's a slur in the same way "white cracker" or "gringo" is considered a slur ☠️ Like, yes, people can call someone a "cracker" in a disdainful way but that doesn't make it an ethnic slur, ffs, especially when you're talking about a marginalized group's own term for outsiders when they live in that outsider majority country.

This is also a weird thing to argue because the Grisha trilogy already has a word that is treated like a slur by the Grisha: "witch". In fact, Mal and Alina call the Grisha "witches" in the very first chapter of Shadow and Bone and this causes great offense to the Grisha examiner. The Fjerdan assassin calls Alina a "witch" before trying to stab her to death. Several muggle characters refer to the Grisha as "witches" or as "abominations". It is interesting that if a Grisha is seen in a positive light by Ravkans, it is only because they get recasted as a "saint". There is a reason why the Grisha refer to themselves as simply "Grisha" or as "practitioners of the Small Science", but never "witches". So it's weird to completely ignore this and try to argue that "otkazats'ya" is some kind of racial slur...................literally wHAT???

And finally, as the OP has already stated, the point of the post wasn't to argue that the Darkling is some kind of perfect savior or somehow didn't fall off the deep end in this methods. It was simply talking about antis are so obsessed with hating the Darkling that they've completely thrown all the Grisha under the bus by trying to argue that they somehow the privileged 1% 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[retvenkos]

Shadow & Bone Blunders: The Fjerdan and the Grisha

So Netflix Really Did A Number On That Matthias Arc, Didn’t They?

Spoilers for the Shadow & Bone trilogy, Six of Crows, and Crooked Kingdom.

Shadow & Bone season 2 has it’s new cast members, production has begun, and I am excited, but with my anticipation strongly tempered by the flaws of season one. Because I so love to be critical of the media I enjoy, and Netflix’s S&B often leaves much to be desired, I am going to be talking about a specific gripe of mine, today - the poor handling of the Matthias and Nina arc.

Here’s the Thing about That Arc;

While, in the show, the Matthias and Nina arc seemed to come out of nowhere and had little to do other than establish those characters who will be a secret weapon, later, there is a very strong case to be made for having them in the story - even as removed they are. They have more right to be there than any other side quest, and truly, they were underutilized in season one.

Their conflict, while removed from the main plot of Alina, should have taken precedence because it’s thematically one of the strongest stories in the world of the Grishaverse. All of the conflict and tension between Matthias and Nina is a direct representation of the Grisha/Fjerdan conflict that colors the Grishaverse so vividly, riddles the Darkling’s motivations, catalyzes Alina’s tale...... and goes largely unaddressed in the Netflix adaptation.

As someone who has read the books and has spent many an hour mulling over the Grishaverse, very little nuance of the story was lost on me. However, when talking to friends who didn’t have that background..... much was lost in translation.

Especially because more time was spent developing the conflict Ravka has with the Shu Han, and even the conflict of West Ravka wanting independence, the Fjerdan conflict gets left in the dust. It’s lampshaded as being a Bad Thing that threatens Alina from the north, but other than that, it’s not expanded upon. We have one instance where Fjerdans try to kill Alina, but after that, they’re not really spoken of until Nina comes in. Even then, they’re woefully undeveloped, and their story isn’t that they’re the most dangerous foe that the Grisha face, but rather, they’re just another group that hates Ravka, in a sea of nations that mistrust Ravka.

They’re not special in the show, when in the books, they are.

This is where the Matthias and Nina storyline could have stepped in. The more we develop their plotline, the more the viewer sees Fjerda as a true threat - and perhaps the most imminent, as they’re bold enough to attack Alina directly. Especially when so many of the threats against Ravka are faceless in nature - the Fold, the war, the mass hatred of Grisha, etc. - it’s important that at least one of them gets personified so it feels more real. The Darkling is certainly a threat personified, but his story (especially the version adapted for the show) leaves much to be desired, and does little for the longevity of the series. If Netflix wants to adapt all of the Grishaverse, there needs to be a through line for the series as a whole - once the Darkling is “defeated” in Ruin and Rising, the story has to allow it’s conflicts to change hands. And with how Ruin and Rising ends, the best way to do that is to establish the Grisha/Fjerdan conflict early, especially as they play a role in multiple story beats of Alina’s narrative. 

So,

establish Fjerda early because the threat they pose is not extraneous.

use Matthias and Nina, because their story is a not-too-subtle representation of all of the mistrust and hatred between Grisha and Fjerdans. 

Is there anything else to cover?

Well, yes. I just have one more thing to say - one final thought as to why Matthias is important, in particular.

Beyond being a beloved character in the Grishaverse, Matthias is a critical player for the universe as a whole because he is the gateway to Fjerda. It is through Matthias that the complexities of Fjerdan society is explored - their traditionalism, their hatred and fear of Grisha, their devout nature, and so much more. Matthias is the character that explains all of this in Six of Crows - in fact, it’s the whole reason he was chosen by Kaz in the first place: he knows Fjerda. This reason for Matthias’ existence extends metatextuality, as well, as Matthias often exists as the poster child of Fjerda - but also, as the projected growth of the nation.

Matthias is a critical player in the Grishaverse because he is a walking definition of what Fjerda is, and of what it could be. He is the hope and humanity of Fjerda, however corny that may sound. 

When writing a television show, Matthias is going to be important, because narratively and metatextuality, he opens the doors to Fjerda, an important threat the universe faces. There’s no better person to tackle the role of developing a problem and threat that fleshes out the story.

As I’ve stated ad nauseum, this story line is important because it personifies Fjerda and the war at large. It has every right to take precedence over any other side quest (I’m looking at you, Crows), and now I want to talk about how I would have done things differently, if the show were mine.

A Note Before Rewriting;

I’m not a professional, and I am not necessarily trying to rewrite the story with budget, time constraints, or the 8 episode format in mind. I’m just trying to throw some ideas on the wall, and find a way to really emphasize the Nina/Matthias storyline, in the context of the story, because it’s important to me. We’re just vibing - don’t take it too seriously.

This rewriting section of the post only exists for @musicallisto​, because she’s a gem, and I promised her one day I’d write it all down for her. I’ve made you wait much too long, Clara, and this section is written in your honor <3.

Also, in this rewriting, there are a couple of things to note:

the Crows will not show up at all in season 1 of Shadow & Bone. Why is a different rant, but just know that through this whole story, they’re in Ketterdam - which will be relevant toward the end.

Nina is stationed in Novyi Zem, not West Ravka, as the show decided, and not the Wandering Isle, as detailed in the books.

the scenes I detail are in order of appearance, but other storylines are happening in between. I account for three storylines in total:

(1) The First Army storyline (follows Alina in the first episode, Mal’s wanderings, and finally, Alina and Mal when they meet up after Alina runs away)

(2) the Little Palace happenings (follows Alina’s trip to Os Alta and all of her story there, the Darklings actions entirely, and some of Zoya’s story) 

(3) the Matthias and Nina arc (occasionally including Jarl Brum, Zoya, a bit of Fedyor, and many locations)

Before the Wreckage;

We open this story somewhere on the borders of Ravka, where we see a group of Fjerdans battling the Grisha and the First Army. We’re already in the thick of fighting, with most of the First Army dead, and the scene is chaotic. There are a handful of Grisha in bright keftas dodging drüskelle isenulfs (white wolves) and drüskelle tech - those smoke bombs that Nina mentions in CK and whatever else. The Grisha are woefully outnumbered, but quite a few drüskelle fall. There is screaming and confusion, blood and gore, and the violence is shocking.

Eventually, a soldier in a red kefta slips, and it changes the tides. The Fjerdans get the upper hand, by some stroke of luck, and the carnage is devastating. All of the Ravkan soldiers fall, dead. There are only a handful of drüskelle soldiers left, and they are bleeding and tired, but they are victorious, and so they smile. One of the men walks up to the nearest felled Grisha. He cuts off a strip of their vibrant kefta. He holds it up in the air, triumphant, and it flutters in the dying wind. His brothers from behind congratulate him, and we end the scene.

(This scene could happened at anytime early on, but it would best if it was before Alina gets moved to the Little Palace - then, when she is attacked by Fjerdans, we viewers are really worried. Then, later, when we see Mal crossing over into Fjerdan territory, we can actually have suspense. We know this place. We know what happens to soldiers who cross the permafrost.)

✧ *:･ﾟ

The next scene is in a Fjerdan war room. Older officers are talking about the progress they’ve made at the border, and the casualty count. They’re going to send reinforcements to the men we just saw. They seem optimistic about winning this fight. Someone can say that the Ravkan King is an idiot and if it weren’t for the drüsje general, they would have won this war years ago. Their First Army is a joke. Fjerdan babies could defeat them in battle.

In walks a boy of maybe 17. He salutes to the room and hands a message to Jarl Brum before he’s dismissed. It’s news of Grisha in Novyi Zem. There’s a group of them, trying to get reinforcements for Ravka. They’ve apparently been talking to Zemeni ambassadors, and a Kerch merchant has just docked at their ports. The officers lose their smiles at the grim news. One of them says that if the Ravkans manage to sway the Kerch and have money to support their witchcraft...

Jarl Brum stops him right there. That’s not likely. Nothing sways the Kerch except greed, and Ravka is poor, or have you forgotten? The merchant doesn’t mean to back the Grisha, he simply wants to waste whatever accomodations Ravka is offering him, and learn news about who’s winning the war. It might even be beneficial, that the merchant is there. In any case, he’ll know to back the winning side. The other men calm a little at that. It’s true, after all. Jarl Brum says he will take a small team to get the Grisha - the strongest drüskelle they have. They’ll get prisoners, and maybe they can weasel out names and locations for those that smuggle Grisha over the Fold. The Fjerdans are going to win this war.

After that, some commands are given. The men leave. On the walk out, an older officer talks with Brum about which men he’s going to take. Some names are listed without dissent, but then Brum says Matthias’ name, and the other is hesitant. “It’s time he joined his brothers in the field,” Brum argues, “he’s always been one of our strongest recruits, it’s time he taste war.” The other man argues, “Helvar is talented, and does well in the command he’s been given. He doesn’t do well with his brothers, and that’s not to mention that isenulf of his...”

Jarl Brum says it’s an easy fix. The rest is haggling, but in the end, Matthias can go.

(A little more worldbuilding in this scene, and a good intro to who Matthias is - strong willed, capable, but largely inexperienced. That’s why he talks with Nina. That’s why he’s so green when it comes to the realities of what the Fjerdan’s actually do, in practice.)

✧ *:･ﾟ

After that, it’s likely that a name drop for Nina is important. It would be the most true to the story that Zoya, after being sent away for attacking Alina in training, is sent to the Novyi Zem and is told she’ll have to work alongside Nina Zenik. It’s best if Nadia or Marie tell Alina, via gossip, and they can laugh over how bad Zoya is at politicking and playing nice. There can even be a line about how Zoya and Nina don’t get along. 

✧ *:･ﾟ

Then it’s time for Nina’s capture. This can be almost exactly the same to what happened in the show, with Nina’s big introduction showing off her powers, her subsequent capture showing her fighting skills, and the way that drüskelle corner their captives. In the beginning, we can have slight changes in dialogue, and afterward, it can be Zoya who finds her room destroyed. 

✧ *:･ﾟ

The next scene is in place of the original Nina and Matthias meeting, but with some changes:

We open in a dark room inside the Fjerdan ship, where we see Matthias with a group of drüskelle - mostly boys - talking and telling stories. Some are speaking of how great it was to capture of the drüsje in Novyi Zem. One of the younger boys can laugh at Nina - the girl who tried to fight them - Ravka thinks they have fighters? He bested the Grisha girl easily. The drüskelle will always win. One of the older guys who was present at the capture of Nina scoffs at that, saying he’s still just a boy. “You’re not a drüskelle until you’ve fought a drüsje to the death. Until you have one of these—”

He pulls out a piece of a Grisha ketra - blue with red embroidery. An Inferi’s kefta. We see Matthias fixate on it, like he hears screams of his past.

The other drüskelle all laugh and agree, talking about kefta scraps of their own. Someone jostles the man with the kefta, and Matthias looks away, toward lantern. Inside, the flames dance.

(Optional! The older man make some snide comment at Matthias, something like, “Still afraid of getting burned?” or we can save that for later. Either way, there’s intrigue into who Matthias is. Also, we get hints about the drüskelle having that wall full of pieces of torn kefta, which I would save for later for grotesque horror, when nina sees it.)

Then, Jarl Brum walks in, and tells Matthias to check on the drüsje. “Make sure they don’t try to escape Djel’s justice... Force them to eat, if you have to.”

Matthias takes the lantern, and he heads down to where the Grisha are kept. Nina is already there, chained with the rest of the prisoners, but there’s a fire in her eyes that hasn’t extinguished, like the others. 

Like in the show, she can bombard him with questions.

You can have two flavors of the questions, pick your poison: — “Where are you taking us? Fjerda? To our deaths?” or; — “Making any stops along the way? Or are you taking us straight to Fjerda to die?”

(Both work functionally the same, although the first is more fear based, and the other is more Nina, imo.)

After that, we can have the same challenging dialogue about the trials. After that, things deviate a little:

Nina can ask, “Why did you even deign to visit your prisoners, anyway?” / “To make you don’t get away.” / “How could we? You chain us and starve us, and then you take us away to be burned at the stake. All for your God, you say. Tell me - how does He sleep knowing his most devout are murderers?” / “It’s an honor to do what Djel commands.” / “Honor? It was five on one! Such honor! How noble! I thought you respected your women.” / “You are not a woman. You are Grisha.”

(I honestly think that including more of Djel and more of the other Fjerdans overall is important.)

✧ *:･ﾟ

The next time we see these two, once again, we can use the next scene directly from the show. A slight change, Matthias has snuck down a better looking piece of bread. Something somewhat fresh. Nina can even make a point to mention that it’s not the usual stuff they use to sustain the lives of their prisoners.

(This is only because I made a point of mentioning that the Fjerdans would force feed the Grisha if they must, while on this journey, to make sure that they don’t die on the trip, and instead survive to be “judged” by Djel. Clearly they’re not feeding the Grisha anything quality, but that stale looking piece of bread could have been switched for a better incentive.)

Other than that, we keep the scene as is. If we wanted to stretch it, we could have him ask about Infernis. It’s hard to say, but I think there’s one in the hull alongside Nina. He could ask about them, and she spits out some sharp response about asking the Inferni behind her. “Or are you afraid of wicked Grisha women? I’ve seen you staring at her. Afraid you’ll get burned?” / “I am not afraid.” / “Says the one who put us in chains.”

(Sidenote, but if you use this Inferni related dialogue, I would not use the optional dialogue from a few scenes ago, and vice versa. Too much of a good thing is too much, so pick which version you like better. I’m partial to the Nina scene, because it shows some more of her smarts.)

✧ *:･ﾟ 

After that is the quick scene where the Captain says the storms caught up to them, and if the ship starts to break, to kill the captives. Matthias is scandalized, Nina was pretending to be asleep but heard.

This is all good. I’m keeping it!

✧ *:･ﾟ

At this point in the story, Alina is having her big demonstration at the Little Palace, and it’s crucial that when Zoya appears back in the story for that, she is the one to tell the Darkling about Nina’s capture. Zoya was able to track them through undercover groups of Grisha, and somewhat map their route to the Ice Court. She hasn’t been standing idly by. But... the Zemeni won’t be offering support.

But, at this point, the Darkling is in a buzzed and hopeful state from seeing Alina, and making plans with her. He is angry by the loss and the setback in Novyi Zem, but he says it’s fine. They have the Sun Summoner, now, and she’s going to change the tides in the way Novyi Zem could not.

Zoya might press on - “but what about the Grisha we lost? It wasn’t just Zenik - they captured three Grisha. A squaller, one of them.” And it’s clear the Darkling is a little annoyed. “And where are they?” / “Headed for the Ice Court, where else would they go?” / “We’ll never get them back, then. The Ice Court is impenetrable.” / “But—” / “What’s lost is lost, Zoya. We move on.”

And Zoya waits a moment until he’s turned from her, and is only simmering. “They’re ship hit a storm front, they’re scattered. They’re not yet lost.”

And the Darkling hears, but he leaves.

After Alina runs away (rather than gets captured, because again, the Crows aren’t here in this version), he calls back Zoya and Fedyor, and that’s when he tasks Fedyor with finding Nina.

(This is a little more important for the Darkling/Alina story than the Matthias/Nina arc, but it shows Nina’s use, gives Zoya a better argument for hating Alina later on (the Darkling only cared about her after she came around. He thought all of Grisha paled in comparison - even those doing good work.), and overall ties up the loose ends in Novyi Zem. Plus... I just want more Zoya/Nina content.)

✧ *:･ﾟ

Then the wreckage.

Where Do We Go From Here;

After the ship capsizes, Alina’s story really picks up. Her story merges with Mal’s, The Darkling can do more ~bad guy~ stuff, and generally, I have less ideas for the Nina/Matthias arc.

This part of the story, imo, relies heavily on the passage of time - Nina and Matthias warm up to each other slowly, over a long period of time (3 weeks in the books). The fact that the majority of their story was condensed into one episode really sets me off, so if I were the showrunner, I’d try to find some way to show the passage of time more clearly. Alina and Mal, the Darkling and Ivan, and Nina and Matthias should be going on long camping trips right about now, and I want to see that!!!

There should be exchanges like, “It’s been weeks since we’ve washed up in Fjerda. Don’t you have any towns?” / “Not this far off from Djerholm, our capital city. The permafrost is uninhabitable.” / “Explains Fjerdan tempers.”

or;

“Are there no animals out here? We haven’t eaten since the whalers hut.” / “If you weren’t so loud, we’d be able to hunt.” / “In this barren wasteland? We’d have better luck out in the ocean.”

For the most part, I like the scenes that happen after the wreckage, just wish they weren’t so condensed.

✧ *:･ﾟ

When they reach the city, I would have liked two things:

(1) A scene where Matthias is cleaning up, and he hesitates before shaving off the little facial hair he’s grown. Nina can even see him hesitate and make some sideways comment about it later. Only fully initiated drüskelle are allowed to grow a beard, and so seeing him question that for a moment might be him questioning whether he still values the teachings and restrictions the drüskelle hold. It would have been a more subtle nod to book fans, and I just think that’s neat.

(Also, sidenote, but where is Matthias’ long hair??? It was sorely missed, let me tell you. It also would have been nice, as, in Hellgate, his hair gets shaved. It could have been a stark contrast between seasons - showing how he’s changed in a very easily identifiable way.)

(2) When Nina is confronted by Fedyor, I would have liked a scene closer to the books, where Nina is confronted alone, and then when she has to decide to throw herself at the nearest Kerch citizen, Matthias is awake at the time, and he can see the betrayal play out in front of him - with Nina claiming slaver in a language that Matthias doesn’t know, with a convincing enough demeanor to get the Kerch citizen to leave that same day and time. I think the theatrics of the moment would have made the choice more emotionally charged on both ends, and it would be a more subtle rejection of other Grisha, and the Ravkan cause (as Nina is still sympathetic to it later, and eventually returns to that work, as well).

✧ *:･ﾟ

Afterwards, as even like an after credits scene after all is said and done, we can have catch up with Nina in Kerch. She is going to where Matthias is being held, and she is upset because they won’t let her see him. She’s saying she’s recanted on her charges, but they say, “A slaver’s a slaver. Go run along, now. Don’t you know everyone in Ketterdam is free?”

And so Nina is pushed away, deep into the Barrel, where she’s a fish out of water, and hears whispers.... whispers about Dirtyhands...

Bam! Now, there’s a story with gravitas! With presence! With, dare I say,,,,, world building?? Asdfghjkjhgfdfgh. Those are just my thoughts about the Nina/Matthias arc, and a rewrite of their introduction, all for the lovely @musicallisto​. I adore you, Clara, and hope my wandering mind wasn’t a chore to read <3.

[mizelophsun11]

Mizeloph's Tale Chapter 10

Pairing - It is building up to General Kirigan x OC Sun Summoner and when it changes to Kaz Brekker x OC Sun Summoner I will make sure it is mentioned

Summary - Anna is faced with a lot in just one day, she meets two faces while faces something from her past. While she has been able to find a nice get away in literature, Anna cannot hide from the world forever and must face reality.

Word count - 2789

-

The next morning Anna went to combat training, on her way back to her room she spotted the library. As she roamed the rows of books Anna came across one that she recognized.

Anna smiled and pulled the book out “The Bone Road Ebbs and the Bone Road Flows, I remember you..” she opened the book to the first page, not realizing she wasn’t alone

The Apparat approached her from behind “educated?” he asked

Anna jumped and dropped the book “sorry, I didn’t hear you come in..”

He nodded, then picked up the book and gave it to Anna “it is alright, I should have announced myself, but you didn’t answer my question, for a book like this there must be some level of education involved, so are you?”

She nodded “when I was growing up in the orphanage the head mistress, Ana Kuya, always seemed to be after me. She said no one would want me because of the way I looked, my hair. So she made me read every book that was in the library at the orphanage. However, reading became an escape for me”

The Apparat paused for a moment, watching Anna admire the book in her hand “I would like to be friends, I am the Kings spiritual advisor, we will be seeing each other a lot, it would be good for us to be friends”

“Alright, I guess” Anna was feeling weirded out and was about to leave, she put the book away and went to leave, but was stopped when The Apparat began to speak

“You're curious about the lore of the Stag, correct?” The Appart asked

“Yeah, I guess I’m just trying to learn more about this whole grisha life” Anna was really trying to consume as much knowledge as she could

The Apparat walked over to one of the shelves and pulled out a book, he brought it over to the table and began to flip through the pages until he found the one. On this page Anna saw four animals, one being the Stag, with a man in the middle.

“One of the first Grisha in recorded history, the Bonesmith. He knew that Grisha would be hunted so he worked on a plan to magnify their power” The Apparat looked over the page

Anna looked at him confused “why was he called a Bonesmith?”

“He made creatures from his own finger bones..” The Apparat went to continue but Anna cut him off

“What the.. There wasn’t some other way to help save Grisha? Instead of using his body parts..” Anna couldn’t imagine what the process must have been like

“No there wasn’t, as I was saying with his bones he created mythical animals attuned to only Grisha. They learned that killing one of these beasts and then melding a piece into their bodies would amplify their abilities. There have been reports of the amplifier only working a minor miracle, but with the right binding, the increase of power could be astonishing” he smiled and closed the book

“So, to amplify a Grisha's power.. They would have to kill a magnificent animal? I know it’s suppose to help, but it feels wrong to kill something to just get some power” Anna did not like the idea, she remembered when she and General Kirigan were riding to the Little Palace and mentioned an amplifier, she wondered if he already knew about her dreams of the stag at this point

“Sometimes sacrifices must be made in order to protect the greater good” The Apparat went and grabbed a book then handed it to her

Anna looked at it “The Lives of Saints? Are you giving this to me? Why?”

“It’s a gift, we are to be friends after all like we talked about, this seemed like a nice gift to mark the beginning” he made his way towards the entrance of the library then turned around when Anna wasn’t following him “come, Baghra awaits”

Anna looked at him confused, “Wait, who is Baghra?”

The Apparat and Anna walked through the courtyard with a few Oprichniki following behind them. Anna was still not used to having this much attention on her and while she did appreciate the protection, it still felt unnatural. They approached Bagrahs little home, the Apparat stopped Anna before she went in.

“Do not worry, every Grisha trains with Baghra to harness their power and while it can be quite brutal it can be very rewarding in the end. Most of the peasants hate Grisha, but I believe it is because the Grisha don’t suffer. However, you have suffered, haven’t you? It is only the beginning…” The Apparat walked off

Anna watched him leave and thought about what he had said, it was unsettling for sure, she was definitely reconsidering this friendship. She went into Baghras place, Anna walked down the steps and looked around. To her this felt like more of a dark cave, her eyes landing on the women sitting in a chair. Anna set her book down near the bottom of the stairs and walked over to her, Baghra got up and approached her.

“Well um.. Hello” Anna said

Baghra looked her up and down “you should have been here yesterday”

Anna sighed “sorry, I only found out that you existed a few minutes ago on my walk here”

“Hmm, let’s take a look at you shall we?” Baghra began to circle Anna “a Sun Summoner who wastes her time training with Botkin, do you think you will punch your way through the Shadow Fold?”

“No of course not, but it’s better to know how to defend oneself in case of something happening” Anna knew that if she was ever ambushed she would not want to be the weak link

“Where’s the rest of you?” she asked ignoring Annas combat training comeback

“I don’t know, but I mean where is the rest of you? You’re short” Anna laughed a little

Baghra ignored what Anna had said “where are your parent’s?”

She stopped laughing “I don’t know, probably somewhere in Ketterdam dead in a ditch or at the bottom of an ocean” Anna never knew her parents so all she could do was guess, at this point she assumed they were dead

“Where did you grow up?” Baghra asked, continuing with her questions

“Depends, I was on the streets of Ketterdam until I was 10 then crossed the Fold to go through the rest of my childhood in Keramzin at an orphanage ” Anna felt like she was all over the place, so many places she lived

“Then where do you belong?” Baghra was trying to just get all of the information she needed before truly beginning Anna’s training

“You think I know the answer to that question? I have been everywhere and never stuck, Ketterdam didn’t work, then the orphanage wanted me out when I was old enough, I was once a map maker until I suddenly became the Sun Summoner. I just don’t know..” Anna felt like a mess, yes she had been trying hard to believe that she now belonged at the Little Palace, but it was all just so much. She had been tossed from place to place without really being able to stick, she missed the simpler times, when she wasn’t Grisha. Anna thought about if she had never been discovered, what she would be doing right now, probably dead.

“Well, if you don’t know where you belong, do you know what you are?” Baghra could see that this girl was lost and desperately needed her guidance

“I mean, I am a Sun Summoner” Anna said, she wondered what the purpose of these questions were, shouldn’t she be training to summon or something?

“Oh really? Then can you summon the sun without holding onto General Kirigan? Did you know that he is a human amplifier?” she asked

Anna was surprised by that, she was still learning “I did not know that..”

“Now, can you summon the sun on your own?” Baghra was now getting to the real questions that had the answered that mattered

“No.. just the one time when we were in the Fold, but other than that, I haven’t been able to..” Anna realized that she didn’t have any real control over her powers

“People are looking to you to be the answer for all of their problems, you also need to believe that, take some time and come back tomorrow, we will continue then” Baghra said, there was so much pressure for Anna and maybe she should have been harsher, however Baghra did not believe that harsh words would accomplish their goals

Anna nodded, grabbed her book then headed back to her room and looked over at her desk. A few pieces of paper and a pen were there, she had forgotten about her promise to write to Alina and Mal, Anna went over to the desk and began to write a letter.

Dear Mal,

You would be so proud of me, I was able to hold my own in a fight yesterday, it felt amazing. I am so sorry I did not keep up with writing, things have been really crazy with all of the changes. I wish that you were here with me, it would make all of this easier to deal with, to have my friends with me. I will make sure to talk to someone so then I can get you and Alina here to the Little Palace. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely Anna Mizeloph

Anna finished writing her letter to Mal, she grabbed an envelope then folded the letter and put it in. She sealed it closed and set it to the side, Anna grabbed another piece of paper and began to write another letter for Alina. She did not know if her friends were together on the same journey so to make sure that they got a letter she wrote two different ones.

Dear Alina,

I miss you so much. I made two friends here and they always seem to cling onto me, I wish you were here. Sometimes I feel like everyone just wants to be close to me because I am the Sun Summoner, but I know you are not like that. Maybe they aren’t with me because of who I am, but it’s something that runs through my mind. You are the one who always stood by me no matter who I was, I want to try and get you and Mal here sooner rather than later. I hope you write back to me, it would be great to hear from you soon.

Sincerely Anna Mizeloph

Anna did the same thing with Alinas letter that she did with Mal’s, once it was sealed shut she set the letters off to the side. She would remember to tell Genya to send the letters, while Anna was slightly hurt that she had not gotten any letters she could not really complain. It was something Anna should have also been on top of as well, to keep in touch with her friends. Anna went to her bed and pulled her sketchbook out from under her pillow. She looked at the drawings of the Stag then moved to the drawing of a younger Kaz she remembered. Anna pulled out a pencil and began to work on the details of the one drawing, after a few hours of drawing she noticed it was late. She put her sketchbook back in its hidden spot under the pillow and made her way to dinner.

Nadia waved over to Anna, she walked over and sat between her and Maria “how was your time with Baghra?”

Anna thought for a moment “it was.. Good, a lot of questions though and not a lot of summoning, but it was just the first day”

They continued to chat when a few servants brought over a nice looking plate of food “oh! It’s to celebrate your victory with the King” Nadia said

“Victory? You mean the demonstration?” Anna asked, Nadia nodded

“Oooh, you even have the otkazat’sya taster, they are normally reserved for the royal family” Maria said and a few others watched the royal taster eat Annas food

“Delicious, you will be happy with the meal I am sure, I just have to, um, survive” the tasters smile faltered but continued to taste “I believe it is safe”

Anna leaned forward a little so then she could whisper “this is not some type of punishment for you, is it? Because maybe I could talk to someone for you…”

“Oh no, this is an amazing job, I was so happy when the other taster died…” the taster realised what he said and stopped eating “it should be good” he left the table

Anna watched him leave “thanks..”

“Don’t get use to it” Maria said

“General Kirigan makes sure that we have peasant food to keep us humble” Nadia continued from Marias comment

Ivan stood up and everyone became quiet, he pulled out a large parchment “News from the Fjerdan front, in the First Army, many casualties in the 18th, 27th and 36th battalions” Anna’s interested peaked at the mention of the 36th battalion but decided to stay quiet for now and could ask later “among those dead, six Healers, four Inferni and Three Heartrenders. The Fjerdan’s will be no match against a unified Ravka” his attention then turned to Anna “why are you eating figs? When you should be training every waking moment to tear down the Fold”

Something inside of Anna snapped at what Ivan said and she stood up “don’t blame me, you think I ran from that test? I was locked into a dark room when testers came. You might be taking your anger out at me, but you have no right to! You have no idea what kind of hell I was given on those days!”

In her mind she went back to those days, darker than she let on

-

Anna had her back to the door while she was talking with Mal and Alina, it was the first day Grisha testers were coming when Anna was there. Suddenly Ana Kuya walked in, Mal and Alina ran while little 10 year old Anna was grabbed by her hair and dragged up to a room a few stories up. She tried to fight back, but with the tight grip that Ana Kuya had on her hair only made the pain worse. Ana Kuya took out a skeleton key and used it to open a door to a dark room with only one window that was high up enough for Anna to have light, but not see out of.

“Please stop! You are hurting me!!” Anna struggled and then felt the release of her hair, which was then replaced by the sharp sting of her cheek, she had been slapped

“Be quiet you stupid child, you are to stay in here every time Grisha testers come, do you understand? Or the punishment will be much worse than a single slap”

Anna felt tears running down her cheek “I don’t understand” she felt another stinging slap fall upon her other cheek

“You are not to make a sound, girl, understand?” Ana Kuya said harshly

Anna nodded, then sat down on the ground, the room she was in was empty and so the only place she could be was the ground. Ana Kuya left the room and locked the door behind her, after that every time Grisha testers came Anna became scared. She never understood where Ana Kuyas rage came from when the Grisha testers came and it was directed only to Anna. After that day Anna would basically run to the room she had been locked in the first time to make sure Ana Kuya did not become angry. She always thought Ana Kuya was a kind caretaker, for the most part, but that day changed her opinion forever.

-

To everyone else in the room it was only a second, but that memory for Anna felt like years. She slowly put her hand up to her cheek remembering the pain of being slapped, but she felt something wet, it was tears. This was the first time she had cried since she got to the Little Palace. Anna took off to her room, she ignored the calls of Marie and Nadia, she just kept running until she got to her room and slammed the door shut and completely broke down. She went to her bed and sobbed into her pillow, Anna pulled her sketchbook out and went to the page of young Kaz. Anna held the sketchbook close as she cried herself to sleep, it was all just too much for her.

-

Author Note - Thank you so much everyone for being patient with me while I got this chapter together! I was struggling to write this week but I wanted to fulfill my promise in getting this chapter to you all. I am looking forward to hearing what everyone has to say, reading everyones comments is always so much fun! I don't know if updating chapters will be this long for the rest of this story, but I will try to update a bit more than just once a week.

Tag List - @rika90 @itsemy01 @hotleaf-juice @teatimeforusreaders @benbarnes-supremacy @graciefullygracie @aleksanderwh0r3 @klaudosh @herbatkazmilosica

[klbwriting]

Unexpected Allies - Chapter 17

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz/female!Reader

Summary: disaster strikes and Kaz has some planning to do

Notes: ugh, once again this is going to get worse but you’ll love it

Taglist:  @mcntsee @amwitherspoon @cxlpxrnia @fcvcritecrime​ @aysegust​ @sagewrites111​ @spawn0fsatan​ @itsemy01 @thedelusionreaderbitch

              Y/N wasn’t surprised when Kaz didn’t come out to see them off in the morning, but she was surprised to see Inej there, looking annoyed.  She approached the smaller woman and folded her arms.  Jesper and Matthias took that as their cue to go make sure the Fabikator and the horses were ready.

              “You didn’t have to lie to him and keep the parem a secret” Inej whispered.   Y/N cocked an eyebrow and felt a little vindicated in knowing that someone would have heard them had she told him.  Inej would have told the leaders, she was one of them now.  “I would have kept it a secret.”  

              “Liar,” Y/N retorted.  “Look, just, give this to Kaz if you see him, I know he might just tear it up but I want him to know how sorry I am and how much I love him.” Inej took the letter and pocketed it quick before Mal came over.  The look he gave her told her that everyone knew she had slept in her own tent last night and she didn’t like the pity.

              “Ready to go?” he asked.  She took one last look around, hoping that maybe he was in the shadows somewhere, still watching her even if she didn’t see him.  She nodded finally and went to climb on her horse.  “Try to just lead him away from us alright?  You don’t have to have the big fight all alone, we just need time.”  

              “If I can kill him, I’m killing him,” she said, urging the horse to walk away.  She took a last glance back and saw the glint of something shiny in the sun and smiled a little.  He had been there, at least, she hoped he had been.  

              It took nearly two days before they found the Darkling, alone in a field, waiting for them.   Y/N had figured he would be setting a trap and she was glad that the Fabrikator had almost finished the amplifier.  Even though it wouldn’t be at full strength it would help.  They stopped about 20 feet from their king and stared.  He smirked.

              “Hello Y/N, please, I know that you are going to try to fight me, and I have heard rumor that you have gotten a Grisha made amplifier, why don’t you put it on?” he asked.   Y/N felt wrong about all of this but before she would say anything the Fabrikator stuck the collar around her neck, sealing it on.  

              “Alright Aleksander, leave now and I won’t have to kill you, just leave us be,” she said, standing ready.  She heard a clinking sound to her right but ignored it. Jesper cried out a warning but by the time she reacted the chain had already been fused to the collar.  The Fabrikator was running towards the Darkling with the chain in his hands.   Y/N tried to stop him, slow his heart, but her power was suddenly gone.  Then with horror she realized that they had been betrayed.

              “You know, the problem with Alina was I gave her a collar, but I forgot to make sure she had her leash,” the Darkling said as the Fabrikator put the chain in his hands.   Y/N’ eyes widened.

              “RUN!” she yelled to the other two.  The Darkling lifted his hands and a shot rang out.  Jesper had fired but the Darkling had assumed this was coming, moving at the last moment so that he was just grazed in the shoulder.  Luckily this gave Matthias time to grab Jesper, pulling him onto his horse before the cut took him out.   Y/N tried to run but was yanked back hard by the Darkling.  She sputtered as she stood again, only to be dragged back another time. This time the Darkling just dragged her to the tree line where a carriage was waiting.  He had the Fabrikator enter before tossing her inside.  He joined her, making sure to sit right next to her as they were driven back to the Little Palace and what she assumed was her execution.  

                Kaz was waiting at the gate for Y/N.  He knew it was too early to expect the group back, but he wanted to be the first person she saw.  He had cooled off from their fight, talked to Inej, hell he even talked to Nina about everything, and both had set him right on what was the real problem.  He understood now that Y/N’s priorities were to save Ravka and to keep him safe, the only way in her mind to do that was to keep herself as the only target.  If she was the only person who had or knew where the parem was then he was safe.  He was an idiot; he would have done the same thing in her situation.  Now he just wanted to set things right and then he was asking her to leave with him.  This place got rot for all he cared, he hated it and wanted out.  He just hoped the Dregs and Y/N would leave with him.

              When Jesper and Matthias came over the horizon Kaz started to walk over but then saw that they were alone.  He felt panic rising in him.  Was she dead?  Captured? Where was Y/N?  The two men got off the horse as other joined Kaz at the gates.

              “We were betrayed,” Matthias said, panting from exertion.  They hadn’t stopped riding since their encounter, and they were exhausted.  Jesper looked at Kaz.

              “The Fabrikator…he made the collar to dampen her powers.  He was the Darkling’s plant here,” he said.  Dammit, Kaz had been weeding out other plants, knowing exactly how to recognize them from his time in Ketterdam and he had missed one.  “He made a chain too, gave it to the Darkling so she couldn’t run from him.”  Nina and Wylan helped the other men back to the camp while Inej and Mal approached Kaz.

              “Brekker, I think we need a thug to handle this,” Mal said after a moment.  Kaz stared at him.  “Can you plan something to help us?

              “I need time to plan,” he said, stomping off without a word to Inej as he went back to his tent.  He couldn’t think right now, everything in his brain was just screaming. She was at the Little Palace, probably going to be executed in some display of power by the Darkling and the last thing he had said to her was that he gave up on her, on them.  He started swinging again, once again breaking everything in sight. Once he was done he looked to the door to see Inej there holding out a letter.

              “ Y/N wanted me to give this to you.  I was hoping that she would be back to tell you herself but now…I’m sorry I kept it,” she said.  Kaz snatched it away and dismissed her with a wave of his hand.  He moved to the cot and sat down, opening the letter.

Kaz,

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the parem.  It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you, not really, its that I don’t trust the world anymore.  As soon as I let a secret slip disaster always seems to strike.  As soon as I trust the world is going to work in my favor it cuts me down and I didn’t want that to happen.  I never lied about how I felt about you.  I love you more than I thought I possibly could love anyone.  Remember back when you proposed to me?  Next time someone asks me my full name I’m saying Y/N Brekker because it was yes then and its yes now.  Hope I can see you soon, I miss holding your hand.

Love,

Y/N

              Kaz leaned his head to his hand and for the first time since Jordie he cried.  It was like he broke and every time something bad had happened to him came rushing to him, bringing out desperate sobs.  He knew what she meant about trusting the world, the world never cared about him just like it didn’t care about her.  He cared about her and he had thrown that in her face.  He took a deep breath and finally pulled himself together.  He put the letter under his pillow before getting a pen and paper of his own and writing out two things, one was instructions for Jesper and the second was something for Y/N.  Then Kaz stood and let the tears and sadness behind.  It was time for Kaz to lay low while Dirtyhands came out to play.  

              First, he found Jesper and gave him the instructions and the letter, telling him that if he read the letter that Kaz would personally rip his eyeballs from his face.  Jesper took the instructions and went to work.  Second, Kaz called a meeting of the Dregs and Mal.  He had a plan and it needed to be put into action immediately.  Finally, he told Nina that after the meeting they needed to have a talk.  Once the Dregs were assembled and Mal had sat down Kaz started.

              “Jesper is already on his way to the Little Palace,” Kaz started.  There was a gasp and Wylan actively gagged on his saliva in surprise, coughing loudly.

              “Why in the hell is he going there?” Mal asked. Kaz threw him a glare.  He was in the middle of his plan and Mal needed to fall in line or it wouldn’t work.

              “He is going because I kicked him out of the resistance, and he is going to tell the Darkling that.  Jesper came back empty handed, a Grisha returned to us without Y/N, what use is a Grisha if he can’t use his powers to protect his comrades?” Kaz asked.  Mal’s mouth fell open, he had been the only one in that room unaware of Jesper’s abilities. “He is going to go to the Little Palace and tell them everything he knows about the resistance, proving his loyalty.  We are going to evacuate and head south, just outside of Os Alta and ready for an attack.”

              “We don’t have those numbers…” Mal started.  Inej shushed him.

              “No, we don’t but by the time we reach Os Alta we will. Matthias is going to go to Frejda and gather the small army from there, and Kuwei will go to Shu Han and tell them what happened to his father,” he said.  “Make sure they know that the Darkling is ready to attack everyone, he’s not only after Ravka, he wants everywhere under his control.”

              “Why would they believe that?  He has been relatively peaceful with them before,” Mal said. Kaz smirked and he could tell that made Mal uncomfortable.

              “Before she was taken Y/N and I were planning an all out war with the Darkling, we drafted counterfeit proclamations of war to the Frejdans and the Shu, which they will be receiving just before Matthias and Kuwei arrive,” he said.  “After we have gathered this army we will attack, in which case I assume that the Darkling will try to use Y/N’s power against us using that collar he created. But we’re going to have its creator in our camp before then and he will tell us how to remove the collar.”

              “How will we get him?” Inej asked.  

              “A good question, you will be getting him out of the Little Palace throw a series of tunnels that Y/N created there while she was serving the Darkling, she drew a map for me,” he said, producing the paper, showing several tunnels that led in and out of the Palace.  “You will have to be more careful than ever before Inej, she didn’t know if the Darkling found these tunnels and sealed them or is guarding them.  Once inside Jesper should have the Fabrikator ready for you.”

              “How will we get the Fabrikator to talk?  If he was willing to betray us once he might lie,” Wylan said, still looking sick that Jesper was walking into the Darkling’s stronghold.  

              “That is for me and Nina to worry about.  Shall we Nina?” Kaz extended his gloved hand to her. She took it with an uneasy sigh and he pulled her out of the tent to explain the final, and most difficult, part of his plan.